Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Learn how to say eggplant next

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Who's should be the first to say "i love you", Jess told us her safe word for when her parents are in town and Producer Babs serves up another edition of her blog!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody. I've been desperate to get to recording this podcast because there was something we skipped over. Yes. And by the time we got to it, it was way too late on air. Yep. It was very inappropriate to then say out loud.

So we can do it in the podcast. Yeah. You know exactly where I'm going with this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did on the show today, you'll hear it, have the kids caught you and how'd you get around it? What excuse did you give them? Yeah.

Maybe you did like Kevin Hart. So we're practicing football plays, maybe a bit of naked yoga. Yeah. I'm giving your mom a back adjustment. Her back's out. Yeah. Chris text us in. It's annoying because this text was better than anything we had. Couldn't agree more. It was, her back's out. Yep. Chris texts us in. It's annoying because this text was better than anything we had.

Couldn't agree more. It was, yeah. Couldn't agree more. If Chris had called with this, he would have won the Nelly tickets. I would have lost it. But unfortunately, maybe Chris was unavailable. Can I just say, Chris's grammar and spelling, it's fantastic. He obviously had the time.

He didn't rush this out. We were saying, do you reckon it's the same with Siri? Oh, maybe. Yeah, in the car. Oh, but Siri can let you down sometimes. She can, yeah. Anyway, this is what Chris has said when we asked, have your kids caught you? How'd you get around it?

I was going down on my wife one night and she, hang on. Content warning! Yeah. He was going snorkelling, was he? I was going down on my wife one night and she told me to stop. I just thought I was hitting that spot. So, of course, I did not stop until she yelled, stop, again. I lifted my head and was face to face with our seven-year-old daughter.

I can't imagine the mental scars after seeing the view of me as she walked in as my back end was facing the door. Because he'd been fully naked. Eye of the storm's out. I told her I was popping a pimple on mum's leg. Have a great day, guys. Chris. Far out.

Fantastic. Oh, my God. Also, credit to coming up with something in the moment. I was just popping a pimple, honey. That's what I was doing. When you're focused on that task. Oh, yeah. Your head's in the game.

Literally and physically. I don't know if you've ever been face-to-face with a vagina, but it's overwhelming. Face-to-face? Only my own through a mirror, I guess. No, like, you're like, you know. No. Yeah, and it's, you know, you've got to get started.

You've got to lock in. Of course. You've got to lock in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is not, I know they talk about men not being able to multitask. You shouldn't be trying. Yeah, yeah, you've got to just focus on that thing. So to come up, and I'd imagine there'd be a bit of wetness around his mouth,

to turn to his seven-year-old daughter and go, I was just popping a pimple, honey. That's how it would be. Unbelievable. Forethought? Not even forethought, because I would assume he had that preloaded. It's unbelievable spontaneity. It's unbelievable just rolling with the punches.

I want to know what his seven-year-old daughter said, how that was. Is that too young to know what's going on? I think so. Yeah. But also, I don't know the kids these days. I don't know the ages, yeah. Incredible. But as we always say.

I'm saying that my sister's kid, Molly, I think she is grade two. Okay. So that might be that age. Eight-ish. Sure. And she's a person. She knows what's up. Oh, if she was to, yeah, that wouldn't be good.

Hey, man, your sister has four kids. As if one of them hasn't busted in on them making the sibling. I should have asked her. You should. Let's follow up. Maybe you can text Abby. Honestly, I reckon they've only had sex four times in the last decade. To create the four kids. Bang, that's it. It's a busy household. I don't know when else I'd get time.

I'll text her saying, hey Abby. Has any of the kids ever walked in on you and Jacko? Harry. Harry. Jack's the son. Oh, Jesus. Sorry.

Harry. Whoa. Harry. We're from Queensland, but we're not that bad. We're from Tasmania. Come on. Yeah. Yes, please do.

Yeah. Please do. I'll ask her. I'll suss it out. I was meant to see her tonight, but. Okay. Okay. I'll ask her. I, um, yeah, well, Chris, thank you for that story.

Great text. That's great. That's why we love the text line. You can text in any time. We need to do text separate prizing, I think. Yeah, we do. Because I appreciate Nellie's like, nah, nah, I want my time on the air. We need to almost have a different pool because Chris needs to be rewarded.

We still need to do some text line topics on air, but then, you know, sometimes when you ask for open topics, people don't come with it. But then they just rip that out. How easy is it to send a text about going down on your wife and getting caught? Telling that on the radio would be tough. There is no greater compliment to me than when people open up like that. You go, yes, mate.

Yes, we are friends. Yes, you would share that with your besties, and we are in that circle. I'm very thrilled with that. We're also getting a lot of text in support of Babs. Oh, yeah. In the blog today, Babs, you talked about UK sexiest man, Jeremy Clarkson. Yeah, he's done.

I mean, question mark on that as it is. Having a go at your kin, your Gen Z cohort. My people. Someone has said, fellow Gen Z girl here, Babs, I think Jeremy should remember it's our generation who's currently keeping the healthcare system afloat. Most of my nursing colleagues are my age or younger. That's true. So when Jeremy needs to present to the ER, it will be a Gen Z-er.

Kel said I agree with Clarkson. Yeah, no, I saw that too. But I want to put on the record, Kel is one of our greatest haters. Yeah. Kel loves a text about a hate. She, on the Instagram, Kel, we don't do a lot to keep you happy, and I see you, I hear you, I see all your texts, sis. I don't remember the last time you gave us a compliment,

so I take Kel's with a grain of salt. Well, I had a couple of friends text me this morning. Oh, yeah, they heard it? Yeah, they did. Sly, I didn't know your friends listened to the show. Well, they said that they felt offended driving to work this morning. At what? By Clarkson.

By Clarkson. Not by us, by Clarkson. No, no, as they were driving to the work, they were kind of just like, okay. See, I feel like we piled on a little bit because I talked about the revenge quitting and the quiet quitting and the influence is done. We have to come from another angle and just say, we said you were the anomaly, which is sort of piling onto the others.

But did your friends say anything about that? No, no. They just said like, yeah, like Jeremy Clarkson. You made some good comments. You made some great points. Great points. Shy guy. I know every time I ask you to get someone on the show, I'm met with rolled eyes and ugh, I guess.

You want Jeremy Clarkson. I want Jeremy Clarkson to go head to head with Babs. No. I don't want to upset Jeremy Clarkson. Hang on. You can't be doing stuff into the big stick and not to people's faces. He's pretty active on socials. Maybe we post you a blog video.

Oh, yeah. And cause we're a verified account. Twitter war. Yeah, let's fight Jeremy Clarkson on Twitter via Babs. We'll get his attention. Yes. Ding, ding. And then We'll get his attention. Yes! Ding, ding! And then you'll get famous.

Like, look at the Gen Zers standing up for Gen Zers. Yeah, don't worry about UFC or MMA. We've got Clarkson. And then the Daily Mail will write about you. Yeah, but then Kel will come for me. Yeah, Kel. Kel will come for you. Actually, you don't want Kel coming for you.

No, we don't. No, I don't. No one wants that. Jess and Ducko in the morning. for you. No, we don't. No one wants that. Welcome to a new day, a glorious day that is Thursday. Absolutely. The 20th of Feb. Oh, just is a nice round date, that one. It's flying us here already. I know that sounds cliche, but isn't it? Truly. I had my girls group chat. Someone tried to organize some little drinky poos for Feb 29. They said, Feb 29, what's everyone doing?

One of the other girls wrote back being like, that doesn't exist this year, sweetheart. Yeah, that's not a date. That's not a real date. There's no date here. She was like, whoopsie. Whoopsie. Whoopsie. Not a leap year.

Exactly. Exactly. So Feb is flying. We don't have 29 this year. That's a good way, though, if you don't really want to catch up with someone. Maybe she was just trying to be like, yeah, yeah, you guys free that day? Everyone's looking at their calendars going, I can't find it. I guess I'm not.

I don't think she really wants to hang out with us. I don't exist on that day. Yeah, no, none of us do. Ah, that's a bit of fun. How are you feeling for this superb Thursday? Great. You know, really good. You mentioned you spent some time in the garden yesterday.

I did some mowing because I'm going away this weekend. I wanted to get all my mowing done. So when I come back next week and I'm tired, because I've got a wedding, I've got a C4 investment, yeah, yeah. When I come back and I'm tired and I see the lawn's done, I feel accomplished. This is the equivalent whenever you go on holidays, whether it's a little four-day getaway or a two-week trip overseas,

you vacuum, you mop, you put all the dishes away. Wash the sheets. Wash the sheets. So when you come home, I change the towels. And Angus always goes, we changed the towels. We were away for two weeks. I went, so I know when we return, spic and span. It feels good.

It feels so much nicer. And you just feel proud of yourself in that moment. Even, I've got the rule, doesn't matter how late the dinner party goes, we clean the kitchen. I cannot wake up on a Sunday and see all that crap. See, last night we had dinner, but our washing machine, our dishwasher, sorry, was still on. So we cleaned it off, but the dishwasher was still on at the time, so we couldn't. So we now have got everything soaking.

I'm not going to caveman days where I hand wash anything. No way. Everything's soaking and the dishwasher's sitting there full. So that's for my wife to do it with. For as much as the dishwasher has helped our lives, of course. And, you know, I only recently got one. Still really annoying. Like you don't time things properly.

It is. You don't stack it properly. I go, there needs to be rules around you. Is there no other worse feeling than going, oh, I'll put this in the dishwasher, opening it up and seeing it's full and it's clean. And you're like. Be honest. How often do we just put the dirty spoon in there and go, we'll just run the cycle.

To the work dishwasher every day. Actually, question, who empties the work dishwasher? Yes, I've often asked this. Whose job is that? I think it's the cleaners overnight. Is it the cleaners? Yeah, who come into this building. Oh, okay.

Yes. I thought it was Babs'. I don't know whose job it was. Now that she's been booted off the reception position, I don't think it's in her purview anymore. We should have had a farewell to her on reception. We should have had a funeral to Babs the receptionist. Do you miss it, Babs?

No. But all those responsibilities, like the snack trolley. Yeah. And answering the complaints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting out complaints. Surely you miss that. No, I don't.

You love it. Never heard her sound more sincere. I know, I know. But you love being here, right? Yes, I do. See? Oh, look at that. Tone change.

You know what? Wasn't enough of a tone change for me. Speaking of sweet Babs, jeez, I got honked something shocking yesterday because I was driving past what I thought was Babs' soccer training. I drove past number two sportswear and I went, hang on a minute, there's some people playing soccer. No offence to these people, they all look sort of amateur. I went, hang on a minute. There's some people playing soccer. No offence to these people. They all look sort of amateur.

I went, I think this is Babs' league. So I slowed down to a snail's pace, staring for her. I didn't realise there was a very angry man behind me and he just went, I'm looking for my friends. I'm looking for Babs. I didn't see you. Were you training last night? No, I wasn't.

Oh, God. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Let's arrange to go down next Thursday night. It's actually tonight. Okay, we're busy. My parents are flying in tonight, Ducco. I'm going to be busy.

Yes, that's a big weekend. They're staying for a long weekend. Oh, goodness me. Are you all parts scared, all parts excited? Yeah, I want to get into something. My husband and I have enacted, actually. Good. In preparation for my wonderful parents' arrival. You do need to prepare yourself.

You do. Mentally. Mentally. Last night. Physically. Oh, yeah. Emotionally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And yes, speaking of deep cleaning the house, my mum will be running her finger. She puts the white gloves on. Oh, they're staying at your house. They don't normally do that. No, no, but they visit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all they want to do is hang out with the baby. So my mum will have those white gloves on

and run her hand over the piano and go, hmm, a little dusty. Do I need to teach you how to Mr. Sheen, Jessica? And then she'll play Chopsticks. Yeah. Obviously. Like everyone does on Chopsticks. I don't know why we have the piano. That's all we can play.

Well, we do have a big show ahead for you. Alpha Box, your chance at 10K, of course, 6.30. And, hey, we want this money to go from us. We have Wody Oki today. We have more chances to see Natalie. That's right. He's got a dilemma. There's empty seats at the stadium, so we need to fill them with you.

Second last chance to get that co-ford today and tomorrow. The last two days. Come on. Yeah. Up next, though, there's a new article come out about, you know when you get like a mozzie bite or an itchy bite and they say you put that like X in it? Yes, you do the stab. It's like a wives tale. You do the stab, you put the X in it.

To leave it alone. To leave it alone. There's a new article come out saying scratching your itchy bite could be good for you. Oh, my God. This is information I do want to hear. We want to hear that. I want to be justified for drawing blood. Yes.

Yes. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. So there's a new study that's revealed that scratching an itchy rash has some, I want to underline some benefits. Oh, okay. So we're not recommending maybe you go forth and scratch to the high heavens. Upon further look. Sure.

We know Shogai, he's our itchy boy in the team. He is our itchy boy. Scabies, notoriously, notoriously itchy. It's one thing to have a big Johnson's and not let her have scabies every second day. There's no amount of antihistamine. You can't. You can quash that little. How good is antihistamine though? This time of year, when the temperature's dropping 10 degrees, you're like, what is going on?

I know you're going to really enjoy this story. I went fig picking the other day and I think I had a reaction and my eyes started swelling up. You had a reaction to figs before, haven't you? Yes. Yes. But I love figs so much, I'll push through any allergic reaction. It's like our friends who are celiac and go, I don't care, I'm eating bread.

Yeah, you've got to eat the bread. I'll deal with it afterwards. Where does one go fig picking? Fig picking? Out in the valley. valley. Did you just drive out there to purposely get the figs? Literally. I love figs. The taste? Love the taste. What do you have a fig with? Raw baby. Straight in the gob. Straight in the gob. I don't know if I've ever done that. I don't peel them. I don't even know if you're meant to eat the skin. Maybe that's why I have allergic reactions. But I rubbed my eyes

and had an immediate allergic reaction. My eyes started closing. My throat was getting itchy. It wasn't anaphylactic. But I guess, God love him, always got the first aid kit. Pop a couple antihistamines. There you go. Riders rain.

And an EpiPen. Continue eating my figs. Okay. She doesn't want it. And then booked the next fig picking for the week later. We know scratching an itchy can feel so good. Yes. I didn't realize thisch can feel so good. Yes. I didn't realize this, but the rubbing creates a mild pain.

Goodness me. Little froggy in the throat. Oh, sorry. The rubbing creates a mild pain sensation that distracts the brain from the itch. The pain triggers the brain to release serotonin, the I feel good hormone. Oh, my God. Our bodies are our friends. Yeah.

What an amazing cycle. So it's they going, you feel good. Do this. Do this. When really, you're actually making the itch worse. Yes, but I'm uncomfortable in the short term, so I need to execute something. Oh, that's interesting.

Dr. Daniel Kaplan, a professor of dermatology from the University of Pittsburgh. I mean, a professional of dermatology. It's not the professor I'd want to be. He dedicated his life to the skin, and I for one applaud. The skin, the rash. He obviously was a pimple popper in his youth and he went, I'm dedicating my life to the skin, Ducker. The skin. And I, for one, applaud. Yeah. The skin, the rash. He obviously was a pimple popper in his youth. And he went, I'm dedicating my life to this.

Yeah. People love that stuff. They do. Anyway, his team was able to mimic this for mice, right? The allergic reaction. So some of the mice were allowed to scratch. They said mice fig picking. Yeah, yeah.

The mice all went fig picking. Some of them were allergic. Some weren't. It took a while to find who was. Oh, yeah. When they finally got the ones who were. Hold up your paddles if you're feeling an itch. How's your throat?

Who wants an antihistamine? Who started to scratch? All right, you must be allergic. That mice is dead. Looks like he doesn't like me. Oh, too far. We pushed this test too far. Someone clear Gary out.

Yes, the mice. They were allowed to scratch their ash, some of them. Their ears then became more swollen and filled with white blood cells that helps the body fight infection. The ones that weren't allowed to scratch had much less inflammation and swelling. I don't know if Daniel, the professor, is giving you this data there, Ducko, but how did they stop the mice from scratching? Did they, like, handcuff them behind their backs?

They said the mice did the little X that their mum taught them on the skin. Guys, you can do that, but otherwise don't scratch. But not scratching. In the mild case, but otherwise don't scratch. But not scratching. In the mild case, it's good for you. It releases a substance which activates mast cells through a second pathway, which triggers more inflammation. However, it can activate something in our hormones, which make us feel good. So really what they're saying is scratching is bad for the itch,

but good for the head. Well, I'm a slave to my head. I don't know about you. I ain't going to be no slave the head. Well, I'm a slave to my head. I don't know about you. I ain't going to be no slave to the itch. I'm a slave to my head. Yeah. That feels good. I'm doing it.

Yeah. And so it's going to make it worse. Yes. Antihistamine. Unfortunately, there's nothing here to clear the rash. Yeah. They're not saying the actual way to get rid of the itch. The poor mice's ears were red and swollen.

They let them scratch those. I don't think they ever come back. The poor mice. I know. Got some that are dead, some that are handcuffed, some that have got the X. We talk about coming back as a fish being bad, but coming back as a mouse. Particularly a lab mouse. A lab mouse.

I mean, that's not, that's a tough carry. Everyone's scared of you. There's traps laid out for you with delicious cheese. That would, this is the question, would you rather fish or mouse? Ooh. You have to pick one. Mouse, because I can at least scurry away quickly. That's true.

And you're on land. You're on land. Yeah, that's fair. Once again, the no hands thing. And again, you got hands. There's been a lot of a focus on emojis. Yeah. You gave us an emoji quiz, handed down from the AFP, trying to help parents dissect and

decipher some of the language their kids might be using. Sexy emojis. Sexy emojis via messaging sites and whatever, being well-equipped to translate over their shoulder. Hang on a minute. I know what the corn actually symbolizes. So maybe I've had it in my head a little bit, but I wanted to dig down on one of the OGs when it comes to the sexy emojis.

Yes. The eggplant, which was in the quiz. The mums that we had on didn't even hesitate. Everyone knows that the eggplant infers the Johnson. Yes. Well, yeah, it just came. I don't know. That's just, everyone knows that.

Everyone knows that. Now, I bought my one-year-old the other day a little vegetable set, little Velcro vegetable set with fake knives. She can stand on her toddler tower up at the butcher's block while I'm prepping dinner. She can pretend to have a go. There was a tomato, there's a carrot, there's a zucchini, and there's an eggplant.

And does it feel weird, your daughter holding it, even though it's just a fruit? It feels weird for my husband. Sorry, a vegetable. A vegetable. It feels weird for my husband watching her with the fake knife, chopping it in half. It's just imbibed now with the meaning.

I'm like, it's just a vegetable. I know. You can't look at an eggplant. Like a banana could be a, like, you know what I mean? Why is that not? And this is what I wanted to get to. Lucia really enjoys eggplant. Eating eggplant.

I think a banana is more accurate. So I go and buy eggplants from the shops. You've seen a banana at Woolworths. They don't look like a Johnson. They are bulbous. They are humongous. The eggplants. I know the real eggplant.

Yeah, yeah. I know every Johnson is different and beautiful, but these things, in my opinion, do not look phallic enough. No. Even the other day, I bought a little globe artichoke. You seen those? They're little balls. Oh, yeah.

Sorry to use another word that would infer downstairs. Dig up. They're truly spherical. I'm going, where did this come from? I'm going to have to do some research. Even like a zucchini or a cucumber would make more sense. So, I've done me research. Okay.

Can you take us? Yes. To Japan, please. My pleasure. Because that's where this all starts, Ducco. Good to be here. They definitely don't have eggplants. Well.

They've got little chipolatas. The eggplant emoji is first sort of noted in pop culture. Yes. Having been used on Twitter, currently known as X. Yes. As early as 2010. Okay. Right.

So, sorry, the emoji keyboard, it appeared on there. Yes. And people are tracking it back. Like, I can see it on Twitter. I can sorry, the emoji keyboard. It appeared on there? Yes. And people are tracking it back. Like, I can see it on Twitter. I can see it on messaging services. People have asked groups of friends, how long have you been using the emoji, the eggplant emoji to defer that? They're going, oh, for over a decade. So, we're going, where are the origins?

Who started it? And someone has landed on this. The emoji keyboard was originally designed by a guy named Willem van Lacker. Okay. He designed the bulk of the emoji characters to appear on Apple devices that would only appear on Japanese iPhones. They were not for every user. Now, I don't want to get into it because I don't know.

Apple was obviously invented by an American man named Steve Jobs. Why Japan? But this guy invented the little pictures. Japan loved their little anime, little photos, little cartoons. The name Willem van Lacker doesn't give Japanese man to me, but who knows? He was employed by Japan to make this keyboard of little pictures for Japanese

iPhones alone. Okay. Japanese eggplants are typically longer, thinner, and a bit more corkscrew shape than the eggplants we're used to. Okay. So when he designed the fruit and veg portion of the emoji keyboard, he looked up Japanese eggplant. Oh, I see.

I'm looking them up now. They look, oh, that makes sense. They look very Johnson-like, don't they? We're almost getting into too thin a territory, unless that's just a photo. Maybe. That could be. Actually, no, no, that looks fairly, that looks bigger than mine. Because you made some good points.

The other fruit and veg that appear, the banana, he's drawn it too much of a bend. The corn has its sheath on it. Yes. The cucumber, granted it only came around recently, but the cucumber is sliced a little bit and the sweet potato is cut in half. And the Japanese even has that accurate kind of bend. It's got a

soft bend, unlike the banana, which is way too fruit-like. Depending if you're left or right-handed. Absolutely. Oh, that's so interesting. So it all stems back because it was only meant to be for Japanese users, so he drew a Japanese eggplant. That makes so much sense. Doesn't it?

So how wild is that? What good trivia. Isn't it fun? So it was a dude who just drew what he thought this will be appropriate for any Japanese chef or maybe the Japanese mama who wants to send to her family, I'm making eggplant for dinner. Do you think the Japanese, and this is a stereotype, do you think they're looking at going,

eggplants, we're not that. I mean, come on. Well, so what I'd ask you is we need to get a Japanese person on from Japan. Which emoji do they use? All for the pain. Because maybe they don't use the eggplant because maybe they don't see that similarity. The Americans and thus then the world, adopted the eggplant.

Because it wasn't obviously denoted as that. People just started using it. And I don't know why, but I can't imagine Japanese sending each other eggplants with that intention. Neither can I. They feel too classy. Yeah. Don't you reckon? I feel above it.

I feel above it. Let's get someone from Japan on. I'll find that out. I want to go to Japan. Okay. And I think we do a show trip. Let's make a whole thing of it. Might as well do it.

Shibuya, here I come. Here we go. Yeah. And we just vox a show trip. Let's make a whole thing of it. Might as well do it. Shibuya, here I come. Here we go. Yeah. And we just vox pop some people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you need to send a... Hey, do you speak English? Sort of.

What do you reckon about the eggplant being your penis? Yeah. Do they even know? We need some clear questions, wouldn't we? We do. And maybe we need a translator to go with this. A shy guy, I'd imagine, can speak. Yeah.

Get on Duolingo. Start learning Japanese. Thank you. I can count to ten. Love that. Learn how to say eggplant next. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Jess and Ducko's 10k Alphabucks on here. Yes, let's make it rain cash. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. You have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course we come back to you if there is time. Stepping up today.

Oh, look at this. It's Holly, Jess. Oh my God, finally. Holly. Our manifesting. Holly. Holly. Holly. Holly. Morning, Holly. Morning. Oh, we've been waiting for you. Oh yeah. We have been dreaming. We've been yearning.

Oh, yes, we have. Yearning for Holly. Yearning for Holly. She's finally here. Hello. How are you? I'm good, thank you. How are you?

Excellent. Are you ready to win $10,000? I hope so. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you ready to win $10,000? I absolutely am. Yes. Good girl. What do you want to win $10,000? I absolutely am.

Yes. Good girl. What do you want to spend the money on? Well, I'm getting married at the end of the year, which is really exciting. But I've actually got to get divorced first. So I've just been really slack. So you're separated. You and your ex kind of are not together at all, but you've just got to fill out the forms.

We've actually been separated for about nine years. But do you have a ring on it? Like, you've got the new ring, the new partner. I do, yeah. I've got to, yeah. So everything's fine. I've just got to get divorced first. Does it cost money to get divorced, I presume?

Yeah, a few thousand, I think. I'm not 100% sure. I've been really lazy and haven't really looked into it a lot. Oh, great motivation. Here we go. You're going to be in your next wedding and then going, well, this will force me to do the paperwork. Yes.

I'm going to get a divorce. Let's do this. We're paying for a divorce. And I think there needs to be some dust settling. You know what I mean? Let's get Holly the $10,000 so she can fill out the paperwork, start planning her wedding. Yes. That's great. Holly, we've pulled out the most solid letter we could think of for you, babe. It's S. S? Okay, cool. S is solid. There's a lot of S's. Yep. Are

you ready to go? I'm as ready as I'm going to be. All right, your time. We'll start after the first question. Starting with the letter S, we need you to name an ice cream topping. Pass. A car brand. Pass. A musical artist. Sam Smith. A kitchen utensil.

Scissors. A girl's name. Susie. A reality TV show. Pass. A sharp's name. Susie. A reality TV show. Pass. A sharp object. Oh. Scissor.

An instrument. Pass. A colour. Silver. A cartoon character. Sylvester. Well, it was after the buzzer. Yes, it wasn't very good.

Well, look, you got yourself five. That's half. That's better than nothing. I allowed the scissors and scissor. Because, you know, that was technically. If you break it apart. Yeah, it's a scissor. Is it a singular scissor?

And they were separate. It was two separate answers. There you go. Technically, I gave that. Musical artist Sabrina Carpenter. I'm sorry you said that. An ice cream topping. Could have been strawberry.

Oh, of course. A car brand. Could have been Subaru or Oh, of course. A car brand. Could have been Subaru or Suzuki. Saab in there as well. A reality TV show. Say yes to the dress. It's so easy when the timer's not going. Eyes that adjust.

Yeah, an instrument saxophone and a cartoon character. I think you're going to get there, but you're running out of time. Also could have said Scooby-Doo or SpongeBob. Look, you don't go by empty-handed, Holly. It's not a divorce, but it's $100 to spend at Anaconda. Awesome. Thank you so much. Jess and Ducco.

Have the kids caught you? And how did you handle the situation? That's probably more the interesting part. It's one thing they're catching you, but then it's telling them what you're doing. Feel free to call up and say yes, but there will be a subsequent, and how did you handle it, follow-up. What did you say you were doing? Like yoga?

Mom, that was stretching. Yes, Kevin Hart does an unbelievable stand-up set about his young son walking in. And yes, saying that him and his wife are running football plays, like NFL football plays. Blue set, Hart! Yeah! Now you get out of here! Okay, you're good to go. A bit of a bum slap.

You're on your way now. Yeah, good. Yeah, you're good to go. It's a bomb slap. You're on your way now. Yeah, good. Yeah, good. Very good work. My favourite parenting influencer, her name is Sophie Pierce. She's one half of the podcast Beyond the Bump. I highly recommend. It's a great podcast.

But Sophie has packed up her husband and her three young daughters. I think they're like seven, 5 and 18 months. They bought a caravan ducko and they're doing a lap around Australia. Oh, it's close quarters. The five of them in the caravan living their best. Like it sounds like it would be awesome but I just don't know. I don't know. And she's obviously, she knows

her family but those ages of kids any age sounds challenging. Maybe the 7 year old but like 5 and 18 months, that's a lot to juggle. So they've ripped out the seven-year-old from school, obviously. Yep, they're taking the year off school. And I love their philosophy of she will learn more from this life experience. She'll learn more from seeing mum and dad in the caravan.

Well, that's what I wanted to get to exactly. She's big on TikTok, on Instagram. She's blogging daily. And she was running her community through. What happened when her and her husband, Nick, were just trying to have some time in the caravan? Because they're tough ages to just leave your kids outside with a bowl of water.

Yeah. There's no bedrooms. Yeah, yeah. There was like a sliding door situation. It's basically a petition. It's like in a Japanese home. You know, those sliding doors situation. It's basically a petition. It's like in a Japanese home. You know those sliding doors that are basically made out of paper? This is

Sophie explaining what happened when she was caught by one of her kids. If the vans are rocking, don't come a knocking for a reason because the van really does rock and yeah, even when things are extremely vanilla, the van still rocks and we had a child that thought there was an earthquake happening.

So that's all we need to say on that. So the kids obviously come out of her bunk bed being like, it's an earthquake. Oh no. Also, the kids were in the van. They weren't outside. No, no, they're in the van. Oh goodness. She thought they were sleeping.

Nothing is probably more unsexy than that. What's because we're the kids? Quietly. Oh, yeah. Just a gentle thrust. Mom and Dad were having an earthquake. Also, if I was the dad and my kid came out and said, we're having an earthquake, I'd be like, hell yeah.

Dad, he's still got it. That's what's up. He's going with the story. The earthquake's called Pound Town, honey. Population U. Oh, man. But that's not a bad one. Yeah.

It's an earthquake. Then they go to school bad one. Yeah. It's an earthquake. Oh, then they go to school and tell all their friends it was an earthquake. Do you guys feel that earthquake? What? Do you go in doorways or avoid doorways? There's something about doorways for an earthquake. You'll go. Get in the doorway.

Get in the doorway, but not ours. Go in yours. Give us another two minutes. Earthquake's good. Earthquake I thought was fantastic. Yeah. I know that might not work. It not work if you're at home. Yeah.

It might be a bit harder to believe. You've got to know your kids and their level of gullibility. But certainly in a caravan, if you want to get away with it, say it's an earthquake. Say it's an earthquake. It's a 3.4 on the Richter scale. Niche thing to happen, though, in a caravan with kids at that time. Hey, we know a lot of our rice cookers love a camping holiday.

Hell yeah. The tent. The tent could be a rocking. The tent could be a rocking. It's an earthquake. Man, if that tent is rocking, you know, it's just windy. Windy, yeah, blame the elements. 13, 10, 60.

Did the kids catch you? Did the kids catch you? What did you say? How did you explain it away? I don't know what you said you were doing. Yes. Or do you have a good thing to say? Yes, let's educate.

Maybe earthquake doesn't work for you, so what else can we put in our back pocket to rip out in case we are caught? Well, you'll need to know this. I know. You know, since she's been walking, she's busting through doors. Yes, she is. Open your top drawers. Yes, I told you that in confidence.

13, 10, 60. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We're talking, did the kids catch you? That's right. And what did you say to get out of that sticky situation? One of my favourite parenting bloggers, Sophie Pierce, she's doing a lap around the country with her family of five,

her husband, her three young daughters, in a caravan. That's tough. So the sleeping quarters are separated by nothing more than a thin, paper-esque sliding door. That's a tough carry. And her and her husband were trying to have some adult time. I love that they're still, you know, trying to find space for them. Trying to find the spark. In amongst, you know, raising three young kids and doing what I imagine is a stressful task.

And she said, no matter how vanilla you are going at it, the caravan does rock. Hence the saying, when the caravans are rocking, don't come a-knocking. One of her kids came over saying, earthquake! Mum, Dad, it's an earthquake. And I'm pretty sure they went, yeah, it is. Hang on. Now go back to sleep.

That's exactly what it is. Go back in your top bunk. Top bunk. Oh, yeah. That's a long effort for her to get down all the way from... Just to tell everyone there's an earthquake. Mum and Dad don't seem angry. They're sweaty, but they don't seem angry.

I love your spin. It's kind of a compliment. It is. If that was you and that was your child coming up to you, you'd be like, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Still got it. Still got it, baby.

But we want to know, what other things can we be saying if we are caught? Very awkward, uncomfortable situation. What can we be saying? Tiffany has called through. Good morning, Tiff. Morning. Have you been caught, very awkward, uncomfortable situation, what can we be saying? Tiffany has called through. Good morning, Tiff. Morning. Have you been caught, babe?

No, I haven't been caught. And my partner and I, we have an almost 13-year-old boy. Okay. And so I think we've done well in 13 years not to be caught. Absolutely. Have you just got a game plan ready? Yeah, yeah. No, not really.

Just. All right, so what are you calling for? So there was one night after a long day of work, I said to my partner, it would be nice if we just lay in bed and watch Netflix and chill out. Our pre-teenager looks at his dad, goes, you're in, dad, and full fist bumps his father with a cheeky smile. Oh, he heard Netflix and chill.

He goes, I know what that means. Yes. I just kept a full poker face. Oh, that's funny. Eddie's watching a movie and mummy's going to watch it. Yeah, mummy's going to be watching. That's a very open, healthy family. I just love it that he's learnt that phrase, Netflix and chill.

He's just like, yeah, dad, you'll get some. Yeah. I'll see myself out. Yeah, so you don't even need to hide it now, Tiff. You and your partner can just Netflix and chill it whenever you want. Yep, apparently so. That's amazing. Thank you, Tiff.

Good morning, Emma. Hi. Have you been caught? Yes. That's amazing. Thank you, Tiff. Good morning, Emma. Hi. Have you been caught? Yes. Okay, good. What happened? Just the other day, we were out the back. We just moved on to 880 acres, and we were just out the back deck.

I've got a 23-year-old, and I tell him every time, ring before you come home because I could be out the back deck. And he gave me a couple of choice words, and then he left. He came back with his mate, and me and my husband were halfway through the deed, and, oh, my God, he lost it. We got some really choice words. Were you on the back deck still, Emma? Yeah, on the back deck.

Oh. So you were doing it because you have 800 acres, so you were just out there just exploring, enjoying nature. Your son and his friend have rolled in and seen you and hubby on the deck. She told him, call before you come. Call before you come. Is that mum and dad doing the praying mantis? That's a good one, a bit of nude yoga.

Did you say, could you get out of it? Like, did you tell him you were doing anything else? Oh, man, no. No, it was for Hogg. He's seen the whole lot. How hard was it? You can never see the friend again. Don't ask how hard it was.

Every time he looks at me, he swears at me. He's threatened to move out quite a few times. Well, I'll back it easy up. Jess and Daco. We've got Quizmaster Babs in studio. Hello, Babs. Good morning. You are going to give us some words. Got your Trevor on there. I loved it. Good morning.

Going to give us some words. Good morning. Got your Trevor on there. I loved it. Good morning. Going to give us some words. Yeah. One at a time. We're going to attempt to sing a song with that word in its lyrics. Yes, you are. Shy Guy, Jess and myself going head to head. Should Babs be doing the set up? Well.

Because that happens every time. It does. It's like she's surprised. She falls in her court. Maybe from next week. Yeah, you can just help. It's us three. Shy Guy, Jess and myself going head to head.

You're the quiz master. You hold control. This segment can get loose. It can get messy. It can get Lola Young. So true. Thanks, Gracie Abrams. Can it get bed cam though?

Alright, take it away. First word is door. Door, door, door, door. Knock on heaven's door. Hey, hey, hey. Who sings that? Guns N' Roses. Yeah, Guns N' Roses.

Fantastic. Good one, Ducko. Knock on heaven's door. That's the only part of the song I know. That's all you need to know. Okay, point to Ducko. Next word is child. Oh, sweet child of mine.

Old school today. I know. Someone watched Step Brothers recently. That's a good song. All right. Star guy not on the board yet. One to Jess, one to Ducko. That's not also Guns N' Roses, is it?

I think it might be. Yeah, that's very weird. That's not also Guns N' Roses, is it? I think it might be. Yeah, that's very weird. That's never happened before. That's never happened. All right, next word. Sound. The hills are alive. And it's the sound of silence.

Do you want more? I don't know if I have more. Yeah, come on. The hills are alive with the sound of music. From Guns N' Roses to Julie Andrews. Tampons and ladders. That's the show motto. Very good.

That's what we said. I'm going to have to take Doc O'Fallon. Yeah, no, I didn't have enough. That's fair. I'm so sorry, Dami Im. That's what she got second in Eurovision for. And you were part of the Dami Army. I was.

I still am. Proud general. You have a hat. Do you have a hat? And a jacket. All right. So two to Ducco, one to Jess, none to Shy Guy. Shy Guy, you need to get on the board.

Thanks, Babs. Next word is baby. Baby, baby, baby. Ooh, like baby, baby, baby. Ow! Yeah. That was a good guess. Does that count?

I listed the one word over and over. You know, I knew what you meant. Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. I'm a believer also. Yeah. All right. So we're tied now. Two to Jess, two to Ducko, none to Shy Guy.

If Jess or Ducko get this, they're winning. Oh, this is it. Yeah, this is it. Yeah, this is it. Oh, great. So Shy Guy's out now. Shy Guy's out. Shy Guy. Oh.

I feel like you didn't try this week. No, I'm not. He hasn't had enough of his peanut butter toast. Why are you trying? Well, you beat me to them. Okay. Okay, here we go. All right, can we do it?

Third guns and roses. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next word is somebody. I need somebody to love. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Next word is somebody. I need somebody to love. Oh, you got a you somebody. I don't know anymore. Yeah, I know. Somebody to love.

Somebody. Ooh. I need a you somebody. Oh, I want to dance with somebody. I want to feel that heat with somebody. Were you trusting Kings of Leon? I was. That's what want to dance with somebody. I want to feel that heat with somebody. Were you trusting Kings of Leon? I was.

That's a great song. That is a great song. And I didn't know any more than, what's the other one? Need somebody to love. Don't you want somebody. That's good. That's also a good song. Boogie Pimps.

Yeah. There is a lot of somebodies. There is. Thank you, Whitney. Well done, Jess. Another one in the books. Another one not for Shy Guy. Great words. They were good words.

You promised us good words. Clean today. Very clean. Thank you. I tried my best. Jess and Jocko. New research has indicated that men are more likely to say I love you sooner than women as they consider romantic relationships to be more vital.

What? So an analysis of 50 studies, University of Berlin did this, reveals that heterosexual men are more likely to show emotion and place more importance on romantic relationships than women. They're more likely to think about saying I love you 42 days before women do is the average time. Whoa, this is blowing my mind. I never would have guessed anything like this.

Steady relationships are psychologically more important for men rather than women. This is because women often have key friendships of whom they share their emotions with, whereas men do not. They're less likely to be vulnerable and emotional with their mates, so they only do that with their partner. Whoa, that's some interesting insight. So they place more importance subconsciously on the relationship. That's absolutely fair.

When I leave my group of girlfriends, let's say book club on a Thursday. Okay, bitching about your man. Absolutely. We literally will leave each other with a hug and a kiss. Love you, love you, love you, love you. Right. It's so easy for us to say to our friendships. I think it's like women can speak more about their emotions generically to other women, whereas men don't.

Very openly. So then if the men lose their partner, like, oh, no, I've lost my sounding board. Because would you agree, and I know maybe you only have yourself and maybe your boys to go off, it feels like in my brain I would have said, oh, women say it more first, more often. No, I think. Oh, do you?

Maybe it's just the relationships aren't bad. I always thought a man, it was a thing for a man to say I think... Oh, do you? Maybe it's just the relationships aren't bad. I always thought a man, it was a thing for a man to say I love you first, like it was the man's duty to say, do you want to go out with me? Or will you marry me? Oh, some like traditional sort of... You have to do that, and this is probably an archaic way of looking. Similarly with proposal, I guess,

the way we look at it traditionally. So that's what I'm saying. I thought the man had to say I love you first. In fact, I always thought that it was bad if the woman said it first. It had to be the guy who said it first. And the woman, particularly in relationships I've been in, wait for the man to say it first. You've always said it first?

Yep. I know you've been with Morgan for over a decade. It's like one date, love you. Ah, damn it. That's so funny. But yeah, I've always said it first. I obviously being, one, stereotypically female, but two, being very probably emotionally communicative. Yes. I think I've always said it first? I obviously being, one, stereotypically female, but two, being very probably emotionally communicative.

Yes. I think I've always said it first. Did you say it first to Angus? Well, that's one of the great debates of our relationship. I believe I said it first. He believes he said it first. Okay. No one can tell.

Unfortunately, we're in a hotel room. There's no third party. Yeah, right. Okay. See, I said it first to Morgan. I remember exactly where we were. My 1991 Toyota Corolla. Looking at the view.

I wonder if there's also an element, speaking of just traditional mindsets, and we know everything goes out the window in modern time, but is it a fear of some women if they say it first? And the man won't say it back. Scaring off the dude. Probably. Like we always, you know, over asking for too much or this and that stereotypically can scare them off in inverted commas.

And you don't want to jump the gun and do it too early. And I love you would have to be one of the biggest declarations, obviously. Saying I love you is a hard thing to do as well. The first time you say I love you to someone, unless maybe you're a bit older or it's just, unless the time is really perfect, it's a hard thing to say. It's a really tough thing to say. It's the fear of rejection, isn't it? Absolutely.

Babs, did you say it first to Jethro or did he say it first to you? Did we even say it? Yeah, probably not. Yeah, we do. Okay, who said it first? Well, technically it was Jethro, but I'm pretty sure he was drunk. See, men will do it when they're drunk because they're more vulnerable, because they're more open.

The last celebrant role I played was for some really good friends, and that was another point of contention. From the wife's perspective, she went, he said it first, but he was blind drunk after a big night out at the pub. But I kind of subtly brought it up the next day, and he went, oh, I absolutely do love you. So it was almost that opened the gate. It was easier to do it that way.

In a state of not as much vulnerability. Yeah. So maybe, yeah. Whereas he goes, I wasn't drunk. I knew exactly what I was saying. I was sober. She could smell the liquor on your brain. 100%.

Oh, that's really interesting. Yeah. So apparently men more likely to say it. But I always just thought that was the blanket rule. Oh, okay. Like man had to say it first because it was just easier. But maybe it was that fear of rejection. And I thought you can't get it out of a man unless you say it first and show him it's

a safe space. There you go. There you go. There'll be some awkward people listening in the car in here who haven't said it. Yeah, if you want this to be your opportunity, just take a beat. Oh, yeah. Look each other in the eye. They're talking about it. There's a great segue. Yeah. And say it, guys. Go. Say it right now.

Good luck. Good luck. What's the worst thing you saw at the baby shower? Yeah, maybe you were forced to do it because at the end of the day, kind of like a wedding, you're at the behest of the pregnant mama. If she wants to play a game, if her tribe have organised something, you've got to say yes. You've got to get involved. Notoriously, baby showers were just for the ladies, right? Absolutely. And they sort of have flipped now where people are doing the joint ones.

I think there's a bit of a movement away. I've still been invited to some in recent times where it's just been ladies. And it's like, you know, pin the penis on the thing or whatever. Well, that's definitely more of a hen's party. Sorry. I thought that's what you guys all did. Guess. Smell the poo in the nappy.

Having said that, I'm trying to think. A lot of the baby showers I've been to have been for baby girls. Because, you know, everyone finds out, well, most people find out the sex these days. So, maybe if you know you're having a boy, you do play that game. I'm not sure. I've not seen it. Do people do gender reveals and baby showers? You mean people other than me?

I mean normal people. I have seen them combined. Like, you'll come to the baby shower and there'll be an element of we're cutting the cake or we're popping the balloon. That's a nice little thing to celebrate with everyone and do whatever tactic it is. I would say, though, that can be, for some people, no, that needs to be an intimate thing, so we keep it separate. But we want to know, maybe that's your opinion. You went to a baby shower and you were forced to be part of a gender reveal. Yeah.

You don't believe in gender reveals and you think that's the worst thing you've seen. Yesterday I brought you and Morgan a couple of ideas that a girlfriend of mine was sharing. One of her friends is very much the kind of Mother Earth woman and so very different ideas of what she wanted at the baby shower. They had to bring a bead every attendee. Singular bead. A singular. I believe the phrase was your favorite bead.

Who has a favorite bead? I don't know what that means. I pretend to be into that stuff and I was a bit overwhelmed. Your favorite bead. And they made bracelets and necklaces for the woman to wear during labor. So she could harness collective energy. Every person left with a candle that the mother had provided. So then when the time came and labour started, a text went out being like, everyone light

your candles. And the idea of collective energy. Yes. The tribe having lit the candle and the other one was having some arts and crafts at the baby shower to write affirmations. Positive affirmations. That the support person could blue tack around the delivery suite. Of course. Had them everywhere. You seemed alright with the other one was having some arts and crafts at the baby shower to write affirmations. Positive affirmations. That the support person could blue tack around the delivery suite. Of course.

Had them everywhere. You seemed all right with the bead one, but you thought morgy morg. Well, I saw Morgan make bracelets at the Taylor Swift concert, so I was like, that's the same thing. That's the same thing. Friendship bracelets, you know, if we know they're all in this together. True. For me, the worst thing I see are baby showers, and I hate that I've still seen it in recent times. I thought this was a bit ye olde, but I was forced to sit through one the other

day. Obviously, a big part of a baby shower can be the gift registry and people providing things they think you and the baby will need. Sitting around at the baby shower. Don't open the opening presents. No. Yes. No. This is a portion of the party. The woman sits there like the Queen of Sheba and someone hands her a gift at a time. You read the little card, you open it, and you hold up every little onesie, the swaddle, the breast pump, the nipple ointment. It's like Christmas Day at the in-laws.

So everyone can go, oh, shy guy, thank you, look at these. This is beautiful. And everyone oohs and ahs. I hate that. One. It's a no from me. Thank you. Look at these. And everyone oohs and ahs. I hate that. One, so boring for everyone else. Obviously, you only care about your reaction for your gift. But two, how much pressure for the woman to pretend that everything is bang on and spot on. She loves it.

And if it was a joint and the hubby and the wife are sitting there together, imagine being the guy being like, wow, another onesie. Thank you. Exactly. The closest we got, I think, was the clothes exchange where I made you and Morgan go through three tubs. Maybe that was something you should have done in private time because we have an audience. Yeah. It was a tough game.

I just want people in the baby shower to just sort of get drunk and enjoy the food. I love that. You know, that's my game. I love that. But we want to know. It's a great activity. Thank you. The worst things you've seen in a baby shower.

Pamela's called in. Good morning, Pam. Hi, how are you? We're so good, Pam. Have you had to sit through something at a baby shower and you thought, this is the worst? Yeah, so we had a game where we were experimenting the baby food in all different types, and it was served to us in nappies,

disposable nappies, which was really disgusting. Oh, my God. So what, like a schmear of some sort of puree in a nappy, and you had to then go, yeah, that's apple puree? Yeah. Oh, my God. Like it's poo. Oh, that's Nutella.

Oh, yeah, right. So you think you can't get over that your mind thinks that you're eating pooey nappy. Exactly. Well, not only that, the material of the nappy is gross at the best of times. So that was seriously just like, yeah, it was vulgar. Yeah. And then making people play that.

Oh, God. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah, no, thank you. I don't want to do that. Don't add that to your list. See, I didn't, full disclosure, I did not want a baby shower at all. Morgan really wanted one.

Was she potentially thinking just the ladies or she's like, no, it's got to be a couple thing? She wanted both. She wanted both. Maybe it's because I'm like, I don't think my friends will care. I don't think people will care that much. You know, like, I don't know.

Maybe that's just me. Yeah. And it is, look, it is nice to celebrate. It is. And everyone's very excited, obviously, on this journey. It's just one of those things that we're doing it at her being 34 weeks pregnant at the time. She's going to be hot, bothered and tired. I'm just like, it just feels...

At your own house. Usually people will throw it for you so it takes all the pressure off you. But everyone's going to skedaddle at four and you're going to be left with the cleaner. I know and I'll be drunk. She'll probably need a nap. You'll have to clean up. She won't be drunk. She'll be annoyed at me. So 13, 10, 60

there's some other things that maybe we don't have at the Alan Duckett baby shower. What's the worst thing you've seen? What's the worst thing you saw at a baby shower? It's wonderful to celebrate the very exciting arrival of a new bub for your great mates. But it's one thing when you get there and they go, we're going to melt chocolate bars in nappies. You have to taste it and then tell me, yep, that's a picnic. Yeah. No. No, that's a picnic. Yeah.

No. No, that's a teller. Thank you. Oh, no, this one's just poo. Apologies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's gone done this in the nappy? You can just have a lunch.

It's allowed. It's just allowed. Just chill. Just chill. Please don't make me sit there and watch you open all the presents because that's boring for everyone. Do they play, like, guess the size games and stuff? I have seen that one.

Even you cut a piece of string and the closest to the actual belly length or girth wins a prize. Can we just have a meal? Oh, yeah. Hey, you're telling me. And you open your presents in your own time. Ducko and Morgan, of course, your baby shower is around the corner. So we just want to make sure you're doing the right activities, if any.

Chloe, good morning to you. Morning. What's something you've seen at a baby shower and you're like, no thanks? Oh, it was a long time ago. I was a teenager when I went. And there was a strange game where everyone got a towel and then had to make a towel nappy and put it on the person next to them. And whoever put it on the fastest won.

See, I actually don't hate that. Oh, really? That's kind of funny. Because I've heard of lining up some baby beorns and blindfolding putting nappies on. Like imagine you next to Shy Guy and you're putting a nappy towel on Shy Guy. I'd love to wipe Shy Guy's butt. You have said this before on air.

Have I? Last year. You want to wipe Shy Guy's butt? What's said this before on air. Have I? Last year. You want to wipe Shy Guy's butt? What's with that? He was a little would you rather in the podcast. Get a bit of talcum powder. All right. Okay, Chloe.

Chloe. I can imagine Chloe as a teenager being like, what the hell is going on here? Yeah. I definitely didn't join in. Oh, you didn't join in, Chloe? No. I'm nervous about putting nappies, you didn't join in, Chloe? No. I'm nervous about putting nappies on and stuff like that

because I've never done a real nappy. 100%. Neither had I. Yeah. Neither had I. It's nice to know that your child is the first, though. Yeah. You'll learn.

I'll learn. You'll learn. And doing it with a towel, that's like old school way with pins or whatever. That would be harder. That would be so much harder, let alone the clean up afterwards. Maybe we should practice in here with you and Shy Guy. Okay, I can show you how it's done. I reckon I could do it with my eyes closed. And Shy Guy, we'll get you dressed as

a giant baby. Love that. And then we'll get Jess to un-dress as a giant baby. You'll have no clothes on, but you'll have a dummy or something. I've got a very gentle touch. Yeah, she's just so keen to wipe that butt of yours. And Lucia's in her alligator face, so I have to do it with pinning her down, sometimes standing up.

Oh, yeah, we'll get shot. Throw a challenge at me. You can squirm. Yeah, squirm. All right. Stick with me, Duck. I'll teach you how to squirm. Yeah, go away for this.

This is going to be a great lesson next week. Be a producer, they said. It'll be fine. Go to school, they said. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there is time. Stepping up today to play for $10,000, we have Bree. Good morning, Bree. Good morning, guys. How are you?

Oh, we're fantastic for a Thursday, Bree. We have the opportunity to change your day, your week. Your life. Possibly your life with $10,000. What are you going to do with the money? My son keeps asking me for a motorbike, so I think I'll get him, yes. He's only five, so it'll only be a small motorbike.

Oh, a little Pee Wee, a little Pee Wee 50. Yeah, nice. What's your boy's name, Bree? Caden. Okay, well, I was really hoping you'd have said Nathan or Nick. Yeah. Because the letter you're working with is N. Oh, N.

N. All right, Bree. All righty. Let's get Caden the Peewee 50. Let's do it. I only know Yamaha as little motorbikes. I wish I knew more brands. But N, Bree, that's all you need to focus on.

Wonderful. Thank you. You're welcome. But N, Bree, that's all you need to focus on. Wonderful. Thank you. You're welcome. Your time will start after the first question. Let's rip in. Starting with the letter N, we need you to name an ice cream flavour. Nutella. An actress.

Pass. A brand. Nike. A cocktail. Pass. A brand. Nike. A cocktail. Pass. A country. Nigeria. A TV series.

Pass. An R&B singer. Pass. A sport. Pass. God, you can hear the defeat and breeze. After our number three, Caden was like, I'm not getting that motorbike.

I ain't getting that. I'll walk. You got three. That's what you ended off with. An actress could have been Nicole Kidman, a very own, a cocktail negroni, a TV series new girl, an R&B singer, only been speaking about him every day. Nelly.

We're giving away tickets to Nelly for our co-fob. We're drawing that in about 50 minutes' time. That's okay, though. A sport could have been netball. And that's where we end things. $100 suspended Anaconda, though. That is all yours. Awesome.

Thanks, guys. You're welcome. Take Hayden to Anaconda. Maybe get some waders. Oh, guys. You're welcome. Take Hayden to Anaconda. There you go. You can buy it. Maybe get some waders. Oh, yeah. Big old overalls.

Yeah, get him some waders. He'll like that. Sounds like a nice idea. Mum, I wanted a bike. No, but you got waders, honey. You get a hell of a torch. That's all you're getting, boy. That's all you're getting, boy.

You enjoy it now. You can make the noises. Thanks, guys. There you go. Thank you, Bree. Thanks, guys. Thank you, Bree. Thanks, Bree. Thanks for joining the show. Thanks, guys.

Have a beautiful day. You as well. You too. You too. We will. People always tell us have a good day. Yeah. Have a beautiful day. I am going to have a beautiful day today.

You know what? Because Bree said it. Bree said so. Jess and Ducko. My guts and ice cream. They do not work well together anymore. And you know what's annoying? I love ice cream. You do, but it punishes. And you know what's annoying? I love ice cream.

You do, but it punishes you. I've always loved ice cream as I grew up, as a kid, everything. It's an abusive relationship you're in. Oh, it's up. And it keeps gaslighting you. It does. Saying, you love me, ducko. Have another spoon, and then you pay for it.

If I have ice cream now, like when I had the Neapolitan the other day, I reckon four days of just unsettled. Wow. And you're not eating the whole tub. No. Are we talking just a normal- Yeah, normal amount. A couple of spoonfuls.

Very, very feeble portion. Neapolitan hit me harder than most. Yeah, because Neapolitan is trash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Morgan had that craving for Neapolitan. We went, we got it, whatever. We had that. That hurt me.

The Neapolitan is still sitting in our freezer because now she doesn't want it. Because it lasts forever. It's a giant tub. It's huge. And she doesn't like it. So she's like, I don't know why I want that. I hurt me. The Neapolitan is still sitting in our freezer because now she doesn't want it. It's a giant. It's huge. And she doesn't like it. So she's like, I don't know why I want that. I don't want that anymore.

We went to Woolies yesterday or the day before and she goes, oh, I really want ice cream for dessert. We need ice cream for dessert. And I go, sure, let's go find some. We're at the ice cream aisle. She's like, oh, I get Cornettos. That's very nice of you. My husband would be like, there's ice cream in the freezer.

You want a Neapolitan last week? Finish the Neapolitan. It's just a debate now. I don't even get bothered. I'm like, sure. And then she wants the little Magnums, the mini Magnums, because they're mini and they taste good. And she goes, we'll get mini Magnums.

I go, you get whatever you want. You can have any ice cream you want. Daddy works hard, sweetheart, whatever you want. You get whatever you want. I'm not going to partake. And she was so angry and upset at me for not partaking in her ice cream eating. Oh, hang on a minute. So you've gone, we'll get whatever you want because I don't want it.

But that was the crime. She was like, no, you never want to have it with me. Why do you ever want to have it? Like it was making her feel guilty for having the sweet treat. Yes. And I was like, no, you know I can't have ice cream. I'll have a cookie or something. Because naughtiness shared is naughtiness harmed.

Exactly. And she thinks if she gets me guilt by association and we're in it together, she feels less bad. It's like I'll sometimes say, God, I feel like a glass of wine. It's a Wednesday night. Angus goes, no thanks, I've just finished at the gym. I'm going, whoa, why are you making me do it on my own? Because if you're both in it together, it cancels each other.

Two wrongs make a right. It's like airport calories that don't count when you're in the airport. You can go wherever you want. Absolutely. It's the same principle. I get it from Morgan's perspective. And as a supportive partner,

you should have a mini frigate magnum and deal with it in your own time. That's someone who's never had IBS issues. Babs will support me on this. Babs, if Jethro was trying to make you have ice cream and you know you can't have it, it's a tough carry. But I eat it anyway.

Yeah, okay. And then you come in and complain about it every day. So I said to her, I don't want to have the ice cream, but I also have something sweet. Would even a mini Magnum do it for you? Just any quantity. That's what she was saying. To be fair, a mini probably would have been fine,

but for me now, it's like I've got to go cold turkey with ice cream. I can have sorbet. I could have had a supportive sorbet. Oh, could you have had a WeeSpa? I could have probably. And then she said that. Why don't we get you a box of WeeSpas? And I was like, okay, there's also a health thing here that. Why don't we get you a box of wee spas? And I was like, well, I just.

Okay, there's also a health thing here. I just don't want to have a freaking ice cream. Okay. Why do I train so hard just to blow it all on a Wednesday night wee spa? I don't want sugar that close to bed. Just let me be. I get it, though. And as the supportive husband, I know you are.

You've slipped here. You need to be following anything she needs to feel better. Then we get White Lotus on last night, right? Oh, the new season. Yeah, the first episode of White Lotus. Changed the theme song. Not happy about that. What idiot hits? I've seen people blowing up about that a lot.

Why would you change a good thing? But that feels like an absolute blissful night. Sit down, new show, box of mini-maggots. And she goes, it's time to get the magnums. Can you get me one? I was like, I'll get you one, Migaloo, because she's tired of her to get off the couch. She's bigger. No, no, I'm not abiding by that.

I'm not abiding by that. No, no, no. She even does it now. She's like, Migaloo needs to get up. I'm like, do you want some krill? Is she in her gulp feeding stage? Does the mini magnum just go in as a hole and there's an empty stick? She spits it out and blows it.

Wait till I tell you that next week. Migaloo can't shave downstairs anymore. And I have to help. Can she not reach over the bump? It's so funny. Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'll tell you about that at an appropriate time. Wow. But anyway, so she had

the... I went to the freezer and I went to get her. I got her one. I threaded her. But anyway, so she had the... I went to the freezer and I went to get her. I got her one. I threw it at her on the couch. And then she's like... A big old catch. A catch. Come here.

And bounced off her belly. Jabba the Hutt couldn't get it. I'm sorry. Jesus. Okay. I will not abide by Jabba the Hutt. Did you dress up as Leia? And just in trains?

She's feeding me. Princess Leia. That's what I'm getting for your baby shower. You a Princess Leia costume. And Morgan some chains. I don't need the ice cream. She doesn't know what it means. As she deserves to be.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. My parents are visiting today, Ducko. They're going to have a long weekend with me, my husband, but I really know they're here just to see the baby. Yeah, of course. My parents have entered the stage where whenever they call, whenever we do catch up,

I don't think my parents have asked me, how are you for 15 months? It's, how's Lucia? Where's Lucia? What's Lucia doing? Your mum comes in the door. Boogie, boogie, boogie. Absolutely.

Hello, Lucia. And their arrival is imminent. Okay. And my husband and I had to have a sit down last night because after a very pleasant Christmas break together, I've had to do some introspection, Ducco. Are your parents listening right now? I don't know. Maybe.

My mum puts us on when she's getting ready for work, but obviously they're interstate and they're travelling today, so I'm not sure if the routine's a little out of whack. Because you certainly came back to us the first week being back on air after Christmas and said it was trying. Said I needed a holiday. You said you needed a holiday after being with your parents. And I know I can look myself in the mirror and say it's my fault a lot of the time.

I revert to my 16-year-old brat self. I was not a pleasant teenager. What? Clashing heads. I can't imagine that. Clashing heads a lot, particularly with my mum. And my dad has always said, it's because you two are the same. We're identical.

We're both, I think I've worked a bit on myself, but, you know, very stubborn, our way or no way, this sort of thing, and that leads to World War III, IV, V, VI, VII. But in my adult years, I've tried to be more zen, do my meditation, do my self-work, and it all goes out the window. So now they're coming to us. Question, when they come to you, do you revert to 16-year-old you, or when they come to you, it's different because it's your house?

It's a little different, but I'm almost on edge in a different way because I want to prove to them, look how good I've done. I want them to be proud. I want them to see my home. I want them to see my parenting. So it almost puts this other weird pressure. It's another pressure, yeah. It's another sort of pressure.

And even though they don't really verbalize anything to a negative degree, I still just put it on myself. And that creates eggshells that we're all walking on. Sounds fun, Frank. Absolutely. But the only thing, remember we talked about this week, the let them theory? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where it's this idea you can't control other people. You can only control your actions and your reactions. So let them do them. You can control you. So that's what Angus and I sat down yesterday over the dinner table and we went right. And I said to Angus, you need to help me. It's on him now. He's on, he's on my team.

You need to help me be the best version of myself. So this visit is pleasant and lovely and we move forward. Everyone's happy family. It's light. So we've come up with a safe word. As in when your parents get too much or when you're getting too much. When I'm getting, again, we can't control them. Okay.

Okay. So if you're starting to ramp up. But I need Angus. You're getting your voice on. There's been incidents before where the four of us have been around the table. Five, if you include the baby. Yeah. There's been incidents before where the four of us have been around the table, five if you include the baby, where my parents and I are yelling at each other and Angus has had to take the baby away because he doesn't want her to, one, go deaf or, two, be around this sort of energy.

And he doesn't know what to do. There's nothing he can say in that situation. He's not at that point. We've been together for six years, eight, I don't even know, whatever. We've been together a while. He's not at even know. Whatever. We've been together a while. He's not at the point where he's putting himself in the firing line. For someone who celebrates every anniversary, how do you not know how long you've been together?

I don't know why because I can't do maths. 2018. Eight years? Yeah. 18, 19, 21, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7. Seven years. Yeah. You're celebrating seven this year.

Seven. Yeah. He's not going to put himself in the firing line, and that's fine. I'm sure there's a lot of partners there who've been together or in their families for 20, 30 years go, I'm not doing it. I'm not putting myself on the chopping block. Oh, totally. It's a tricky one to be with the in-laws because you can only –

Can you imagine telling my mum to calm down? No, no. Can you imagine telling me to calm down when I'm going against my mum? No. Yeah, it's a hard one. I'm even thinking Morgan's family are not ethnic, so they're not that passionate. It's a different level of passion.

When there's heated discussions or whatever, there's only so far you can go and then you push the boat out and you just stay on the shore. I know you've talked about your in-laws and Morgan being very competitive family. Yes. But how do you go, guys, it's just a game. You're not doing it. Hardest thing is I'm so competitive too. Oh yeah, you're just in a monster.

So I just trounce. I just go after Morgan's mom. So Angus just removes himself and usually takes the baby. So last night sat down and I said, we need a safe word. You need to always be with us and when you feel, he knows me better than anyone, when you feel me start to lose my zen, chill headspace, I need you to work onion rings into a sentence. I was going to say, what's the word? Because it's going to be hard to get that into a sentence.

But the issue is it needs to be weird enough that it's not just going to get lost. I can't the word be something that always says temperature. What's a word that's common? Hello, goodbye, food. But even onion rings is just so awkward. Like, hey, Jess, onion rings. No, no, he's got to be better than that. It's got to be, hey, hey, does anyone feel like onion rings?

But then what if your mum says yes? Hey, should we go for onion rings? Can you not make it so? That's fine, then we go get onion rings. But at least it'll be jarring enough for me to snap out of the spiral. Knowing you, you'll definitely snap out of it. You'll be like, shut up, Rengus. It's not onion rings.

If anything's going to help me calm down, it's the thought that onion rings might be on the horizon and we'll be travelling for onion rings. So that will bring me back to home base and let me take a breath. Okay. When I'm in a spiral, it's a bit of an out-of-body situation. You've seen it. A bit out-of-body, a bit mouth going faster than mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I need something to snap us back. You bang on this table all the time. We lose all our screens shut down. No wonder we have tech issues in the studio. It's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I need something to snap us back. You bang on this table all the time. We lose all our screens shut down. No wonder we have tech issues in the studio. It's me. Yeah. So that's how we're going to attack the next four days.

Ooh, cha. Onion rings. We've got a safe word. Good luck, Angus. Good luck weaseling that into a set. And I can't wait. We're going to let them and we're going to work onion rings. I just picture like you, your mum yelling at each other.

And Angus is like, onion rings, onion rings. Just really soft and fast. My dad will be like, Angus, what are you trying to say? What are you trying to say? I'll work onion rings into the centre. I've just seen a headline cross my desk. The boss of AFL looking at doing an Origin. Yeah.

For AFL. They're in talks to do that again. They used to do a Victoria team. Yeah. Versus South Australia and whatnot. Yep, yep. Like an all-stars team. An all-stars team.

So you could do like, I would like to see Victoria versus the rest. Yes, of course. They've got like, I don't know, 11 teams and the rest are scattered around the country. New South Wales, Queensland, WA, SA. And so there's a fair few from the others. But like, it would be cool to see a state of origin AFL. I don't see why not. It would be cool.

It makes so much money in the NRL. A hundred percent. I know NRL is traditionally New South Wales, Queensland. Yep. Obviously. So you just re-jig? Yeah, re-jig. I think it would be great.

I would watch it for sure. It's interesting because I guess the game of AFL originated from Victoria. Yeah. So it's hard to say that the origin is anywhere else. Maybe they just need to tweak the name. But it's kind of like now it's so big, it's like, oh, you think you're still the best? Mate, Tasmania's about to get their team. Of course, Taylor, I forgot about Tassie.

Yeah. Always forget about the little guy. Across the ditch. Yeah, they've got teams. That's more Kiwi. My apologies. A bit further across the ditch. Hey, man, New Zealand might get a team soon, too.

Yeah. They've got the Warriors in the NRL. So that's exciting. I don't know if New Zealand would ever get an AFL team. That would be interesting. Yeah, because NRL's growing so much in New Zealand. Very true. It's very popular now.

Okay. Maybe they'll, will they see a second NRL team before they see one AFL team? I'd say so. Oh, okay. I can't speak on New Zealand AFL popularity. I'm heading over there mid-year. I'll let you know. Please do.

Can you do a little temperature check? Can you Vox Pop some people in Queenstown? I'll bring my Brisbane Lions jersey and just see if it sticks. Yeah. Does anyone know what this is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be all Australian tourists. Yeah, man.

But no, it'd be cool if they did it. I would like to see it happen. Yeah, I look forward to seeing that too. I may as well. Up next, oh, jeez, guys, look out, it's time. We've got the whole Carl family standing by because their girl's gone prime time. Oh, yeah. Sweet Babs usually kept to the depths of the 6am hour.

We're bringing her into the light Oh wow, she's coming to Babs I probably should stay there to be honest No, no, what do we always tell the Alphabucks players? Commit Commit Babs Passion Believe in yourself

Yeah, okay And today isn't a Babs personal story I believe we've got a Babs article That's right Maybe that's why it's made it later into the day Grandpa Brian's ready around the radio I presume Yep, we're on the wireless around the radio, I presume. Yep. We're on the wireless.

We're on the wireless. Come on, man. Jess and Ducko. Hey, it's Babs, and this is my blog. Men's Operation Superstar Bratz. Slay. It's not Ducko's blog. Uh-uh.

It's not Jess's blog. Uh-uh. Hell, it's not even Shy Guy's blog. Nope. It's Babs' blog. It's my blog. Slay. And she can bring whatever she wishes.

Whatever she wishes. From her personal life, from's my blog. Sleep. And she can bring whatever she wishes. Whatever she wishes. From her personal life, from the personal files. Yep. To something that's crossed her desk in the news world. Just once a week, Babs tells us a bit about Babs. She gets free reign. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And hasn't her storytelling improved?

Week on, week on. Oh, yeah. We've come a long way with sweet Babs. I don't think it's improved this much to be at this time, but that's okay. Here we are. Back yourself in. Let's go. All right.

I'm cancelling UK's sexiest man, a.k.a. Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear. I'm in. She's hooked me. Really? She's hooked me. I'm with you, sis. Tell me the details.

So Jeremy Clarkson, I thought he would be a really sweet man, right? You know, he's old and... Yeah. I always get them confused. Which one's Jeremy? The main one. The giant guy. Oh, the tall...

Okay, yes, yes, yes. He's since gone on to do Clarkson's Farm. Yes, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he is a scoundrel. Yeah, I didn't know that. Anyway, he's come out and absolutely ripped Gen Z to pieces. Oh, no.

That's why you're going... I was wondering why you were going after him. She's taken it personal. Okay. So, he's come out and pretty much said that Gen Z are useless, they don't work, and he's pretty much blaming their parents for funding their lifestyle. Can I circle back?

Did you say UK's sexiest man? Yeah. For 2025? Yep. Or 2024, I think it was. Who votes that stuff? What? Yeah.

Because he's not sexy. No, I have been suckered in by the British accent before. I'll be honest. And then out of that daze, I looked at that bloke and went, oh my God. Hang on a minute. I was like, the lights came on. You went, oh. But Jeremy Clarkson.

Are you serious? Yeah, I know. Gross. Anyway. There's a lid for every part. Yeah, there is. He actually won twice. He won in 2023 as well.

It's because of people voting at his age. Voting. For sure. You know what's probably a postal vote? Oh, yeah. So they've really targeted a specific genre of woman. Yeah. Jeremy.

Okay, Babs. Babs has got up in arms. Yes, I'm not happy. Anyway, he's pretty much said that all we do is sit down our bums all day. We don't drink. We don't drive. We don't have special time. Don't know what he wants us to do.

And most importantly, we don't work. Which, that's not true. Do we need to tweet Jeremy Clarkson from Babs' work account? I work. Look at me work. Look at me work. Yeah, I'm here. Now, I think you, Babs, are an anomaly for the generation.

I think you do work. I think you have a good attitude and you work hard. We've always said that. She drives that Beetle in every day. She's got her license. A lot of your generation, though, you've got to admit. How do you justify the trends we see? The quiet quitting, the revenge quitting, the

I just want to be a YouTuber. I want to be famous. I'm sure a lot of people do work and I think it's a bit you know, I think he's gotten too big for his boots just because you've named UK's sexiest man doesn't mean you can say that. I reckon it's gone to his head. Yes. His unsexy head. Just because you're the main guy in Top Gear, doesn't matter. Richard Hammond might have

something to say about that. As the voice for your generation, do you feel sensitive? Do you get protective over your generation when you hear stuff like this? I actually do because it's not very nice. There's a lot of it going around. Like, come on, guys, we've heard enough of it. Can't cook. We just learned this week. Or was it last week?

Yeah, they can't cook. Gen Z can't cook. They don't know how to boil an egg. God forbid they need to make a lasagna. Well, maybe we can't do anything because we always feel bad about trying things. Why do you feel bad? Because everyone gives a stick. Oh, you try, you fail.

Yes. And everyone's like, oh, Gen Z can't cook. I wonder if it is a parental thing. Maybe your parents just raised you right. Yeah, well, I don't know. He's pretty much said that we're going to cause the world to end. And I quote, massive. The baby boomer generation are the ones that ruin the environment,

so don't be coming for Gen Z, Jeremy. Yeah, but I was just really disappointed when I saw this article. Everyone's generation has done something wrong. Absolutely. In a way, shape or form, and we'll all find that as we get older. Because we'll be the equivalent of the baby boomer for our children. You know, your unborn daughter, Lucia, they're going to come for us. Yeah.

The way we, I don't know, vaped. Yeah. And didn't recycle enough. Yeah, something like that. So our generation, Jeremy Clarkson, will probably come for the young ones. Just because he got a house for $60,000 back in the day. Back in the day. Exactly. How was he able to buy this farm for Clarkson's farm? How are you able to get into the housing market now, Babs?

I don't know, not. You're going to be living in your beetle. Yeah, exactly. Forever. Well, you can live at one of our houses, I suppose. I'm sure you would like that. I've got a spare bedroom. He'll take you in.

You can be in the baby's room. Oh, awesome. Living nanny. Built-in nanny, yeah. The temperature's been hot in the studio all week. Oh, yeah. Because we've had double passes to give away to Nelly. Nelly.

Shy Guy keeps taking his clothes off, and we can't even be mad. We can't. It's hot in here, and Nelly said, so take off all your clothes. Oh, yeah. He's doing it, too. Don't put the air con lower. Just take off some of your clothes. Yeah.

Fine. Yeah. We've really enjoyed the contributions this week, today in particular, but one person has stood out. Oh, yeah. In the depths of the morning, we asked, have your kids caught you? After my favorite parenting blogger, Sophie Pierce, is doing a lap around the country with her three young children in a caravan and talked about on her TikTok, trying to

have some adult time and her oldest coming out of the little triple bunk situation they have, asking if there was an earthquake happening. Good excuse. Yeah, great. Good excuse. And I think they'll continue on with using that excuse. Yeah, great confidence for the parents as well to know they've still got it. They've still got it.

When that caravan's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'. Yeah. But Emma gave us a buzz. And yes, her kid has caught her. The other day we were out the back. We'd just moved on to 880 acres and we were just out the back deck. I've got a 23-year-old and I'd tell him every time, ring before you come home because I could be out the back deck.

And he gave me a couple of choice words, and then he left. He came back with his mate, and me and my husband were halfway through the deed, and oh, my God, he lost it. We got some really choice words. Were you on the back deck still, Emma? Yeah, on the back deck having sex. So you were doing it because you have 800 acres, so you were just out there just exploring, enjoying.

Yeah, enjoying nature. And your son and his friend have rolled in and seen you and hubby on the deck. She told him, call before you come. Call before you come. Is that mum and dad doing the praying mantis? That's a good one, a bit of nude yoga. Nude yoga. Did you say, could you get out of it?

Like, did you tell them you were doing anything else? Oh, man, no. There was no. It was for Hog. No, it was full hog. He's seen the whole lot. Emma, you went full hog and you're going to Nellie, girlfriend. Yes. You got hot in here that day. Are you going to take the hubby?

Yeah, for sure. That's awesome. There's no back decks at Nellie, okay? No, and her son can't look her in the eye, so they can't go to the concert together. She has to go with hubby? Yeah, for sure. There's no backdecks at Nellie, okay? And her son can't look her in the eye, so they can't go to the concert together. She has to go with hubby, yeah. He can't look me in the eye. Does your son know you just called in and told that story? No, but I'm going to ring him right now.

Say thanks, you helped me win some Nellie tickets. That's so exciting. Well, well told. Good story. Enjoy Nellie for us. Thanks, guys. Thank you very much. Thank you, Emma. Have a great exciting. Well told. Good story. Enjoy Nelly for us. Thanks, guys. Thank you very much. Thank you, Emma. Have a great day. You too. Hey, your last chances

at the co-fight at Nelly Tickets tomorrow. Oh my god. One double pass left to give away. More chances at Alpha Bucks, of course. A lot to enjoy. We're going to take a look back with Shy Guy's Diaries. Oh, the Diaries tomorrow. Diary Day today for you and Babs.

Diary Day. Coffees and chats. Yeah, big day. It'll be good. I don't know what we'll get. Maybe our regular. Never get a matcha. Maybe we will today.

Yeah, yeah. Who knows? You know those strawberry matchas you can get? You can get like flavour, different flavours. I saw that on Instagram. I thought it was grass. Is that wrong? It tastes like it.

It tastes like it. People who like matcha are so staunch about it. I've had this debate so many times. I saw one the other day and it was like the top layer was green, the middle was like a milky white, and the bottom was pink. Must have been the strawberry. You can get multi-flavoured matchas now. Wow.

Yeah. Matcha is made from tea leaves. Oh, it's tea. If you like matcha, that's fine. It's meant to be better for your hormones because it releases it slower, but the caffeinated feeling lasts longer. What is it, low GI or something? I'm not sure.

Have an up and go. Yeah, don't get your coffee. Get an up and go. Have an up and go. You can get a six pack for the same price as one matcha. I had an argument with someone because I said matcha is the new kombucha. Like kombuchas had their moment in the sun. You don't hear about it much anymore, do you?

No, no. I don't see ads for it. I still love kombucha. I'm like, righto. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you have to grow something in a Petri dish above your fridge and then bottle it? Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know about that. No thanks. Just have a lemonade. My wife has matchas every day. She loves a matcha. She loves them. Yep. Is she making a matcha?. My wife has matchas every day. She loves a matcha. She loves them. Yep.

Is she making a matcha? Is she buying a matcha? Both. She has the matcha. We have a coffee machine. She has the beans for the matcha or whatever. She can crush it up, do it. I had no idea it was a thing you could DIY.

Yeah, and then she's got... Next you're going to tell me she's got the petri dish above your fridge. She's going to make her own kombucha. Never been a SCOBY kombucha family. No, she's not a butch girl. Not that kind. She'll get her butch on the outside. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Yes, she will. If you've missed any of the show, make sure you grab it on Listener. Absolutely. There's always a little exclusive tidbit in there as well. Yeah, a bit of extra content for you. And you can enjoy the morning with us. We're back tomorrow. Yes, Shy Guy's Diary.

We're going to ask how un-Australian are you? Because Jess is not Australian. I was accused. Yeah. I want you to sit your citizenship test. It's a heinous, yeah, 100%. It was a heinous accusation. Yeah.

Dude, did it hit you in the feels a bit? Hit you a bit? It did. Yeah. It did. Someone hit me with, I bet you like Nutella. I'm like, just because it was invented by an Italian Nutella. Vale, the guy who invented it, just died this week.

I did read that. Wasn't that sad? That is sad. But I don't like Nutella either Valet, the guy who invented it, just died this week. I did read that. Wasn't that sad? That is sad. But I don't like Nutella either. Nutty Nutella, he died. Nutella. I don't like spreads. No marmalade, no jam.

Any spread? You like peanut butter though, don't you? Nah, man. I give it to the baby. Oh, right. Nah. Don't jam spreads. Love satay, don't love peanut butter.

Explain that one to me, doke. That's odd. Yeah, that is odd. You are an enigma with food. I like a bit of jam. I'm not a huge peanut butter person. I like it in the flavour of like a smoothie or an ice cream. Oh, okay.

But I don't love it on toast. You're a satay boy. You like satay? I don't mind it. Yeah, you don't mind it? You're not going to live and die for it? No, yeah. It's not a hill I'm willing to die on. And yes, death row meal satay. Really? Massive satay boy. I always think about my death row meal with being like,? Massive satay boy. I always think about what my death row meal would be. I just don't think I can go past a really good rotisserie chicken and chips.

You know what I mean? Char-grilled chicken. Gravy. Oh, yeah. I mean, there's nothing better for me. I'm salivating. Yeah, yeah. Between the onion ring mini magnum and now the rotisserie chicken chat, I am rather

nervous. I'm starving. I'm starving. You need to get out of here and eat. I do. It's been a wonderful show. It's been great. Missed it.

Grab the podcast. We're back tomorrow. We will. See you then. Bye bye. Bye. Shut up, it's not onion rings.

Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.