Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Let me lick

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

What do you hate about getting old? We have Lady Gaga tickets up for grabs and Shy Guys licking ice cream for another week!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Douggo! This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the poll. We live in the day yet. Podcasts, fuck yeah! Giday, podcasters.

How you doing? Hello podcasters. Hello, potty enthusiasts. Hell of a Wednesday. Oh, right. Yeah, a great show today. Jess is down the line from Sidonay. That's right.

I emced a pizzeria opening last night. What I love is that the pizzeria got you there, gave you a accommodation and paid you to do five minutes of work. Like, it's like the biggest thing ever. It's like a pizzeria. Daco, it is the most unbelievable gig of my life. Exactly. I got paid for three hours work.

They covered travel and accommodation because obviously I had to travel down Newcastle to Sydney. So good. I did a five minute and genuinely my dad wanted to see the thing. so I got my friend who was there to film it. It genuinely went for five minutes, 37 seconds, and that was it. I was meant to do a thing at the end and say the winner of the competition they were running and a goodbye, but the GM who'd flown from Naples didn't want to do that because so many people

were still mingling and eating that he went, I don't want people to think they have to leave. We don't rush anyone. So they cancelled the last bit of the job. Oh, a lot of dogs. Five minutes and 37 seconds. It's the greatest payday of my life. And what an honor. What an honor.

And to me with the artis, the Italians, how good. My people, man. Your people. It was bad, though, and it does. You know, I've been trying to learn Italian, teach myself, this and that. And nothing makes fish out of water than being around real Italians who are biling. Please come at me with the retta-da-da-da-da, and I go, I got my extent in my five minute speech. I got nothing left, man.

Yeah. I get it. I feel it. Oh, my God. Well, it was a great show nonetheless. What are you laughing at? It doesn't matter. You can hear it in the podcast and you drive home. You'll hear it. I sit back in the pod. For those that are listening, if it dipped in and out. Oh, I was it dipping in a house.

Oh, good times. I reset the system shy guy. Why is it dipping in an hour? You know what? I can't answer that. that one. It's just a technical one of those things.

Technical glitch. But no, it's still good. You still did an excellent job. Right now, I love it. You're doing the podcast while ironing,

which is the first for this show. Who irons in a hotel? Darko, oh my God. Talk about it. Tis the season. I'm emceeing another thing today. So I've got to go straight.

This event and my dress is freaking crinkly. So pardon me. I've got to. You know what? How good's having a mic or Madonna mic? Mike? Because you can just do things.

I don't think Madonna has a mic with a baby sock on it. And I don't know if Madonna does her own ironing. Yeah, probably not. It is, this is the glamorous life of a, yeah, doing the show from out of town. It looks like a cramped little room you got there. This is very much one of those business hotels, I think. You know, obviously people just fly in, fly out. It is, there is not much of room.

Yeah, yeah, very corporate. But I mean, yeah, very corporate. There's like a little desk. I'm like, why do you need a desk in a hotel room? Yeah. What are people doing that? What are they writing on those? What are they writing?

I mean, it works well for us because obviously I can set up the whole system and stuff but I went, what's the point of this? Cut this out and make a bigger... The room doesn't feel as cramped. Well, it's a great show nonetheless. Everyone was excellent today, guys.

You all really stood up. Really prattie. And you know what was great? Because Jess wasn't in the room we had the aircon on a normal level and I've never felt more at ease. I feel really comfortable. It feels really quite a nice temperature.

Well, don't get comfortable, Ducker. Because I'm coming back tomorrow and it'll be dropping back to 19. Enjoy the shot. When I wake, wake, wake up. Morning career. When you wake up, it's Jess and Taco. Stop what you're doing and listen.

You know I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up for you. I'm not that easy to tang. And the truth is, I'm put my pets. I trust that a fart and I should not have. I ain't got to explain. You either spit or you swallow, but in life you need to make a decision. Got him going insane.

Yeah. She's a guy. Too proud and too stubborn. I was actually going to wear a little heel. I'm not funny. I'm funny. I'm going to be an adult. Oh, yeah.

Talk it. This is Jess and Duck. Yes, it is right on 6 o'clock. Good morning, Jess. Uh, ha ha. You can tell someone's emceeing an event last night and is clearly doing a big poop here right now in her hotel toilet. She's there.

She's there. I know. This is full. We're in the ads and she goes, I'm just going to go to the bathroom. And we're both like, okay. Yeah. She can't tell the time? This is what happens when she's in the room with me, Shago.

that you and me. It's absolutely not... Look, she's walking out now of her bathroom toilet as we're sitting here on air wait for the shock. Oh, she's just really ambling. Yep.

Hey, mate, we're on air. Yeah, we're on air now for a minute. Yeah, just ambles out of the toilet after a big back and one out. I closed the door. How did you know I was doing that? Because you were going for like five minutes. You're like, I'm going to go to the toilet.

We're like, all right. I was like, all right, we know that we're in the news now, but sure. I brought... Well, I didn't know I said we were in the news, shy guy. I brought my phone and everything. I was like, ah, I've got time. I'm so sorry. This is what happens when we're not in the room together, you know?

You just don't know where you are. Let's be real. It's happened when I've been in the room as well. Yes, true. That's very true. I do apologise. Good morning. Good morning.

How are you? You're doing the show away. You're doing it from Sydney. You were hosting an event there last night, which is why people are wondering why you're in a different area. That's right. I am broadcast. I'm coming to you live from the ridges because, yes, it was a late night.

I did the most Jess Farch-coded event last night, Daco, you obviously knew about it, but it was embargoed. Don't tell anyone I broke the embargo by telling you quietly a couple of days ago. Have you seen the movie Eat, Pray, Love? No.

Okay, well, it's a great movie. I do encourage you to watch it. Yeah, I've heard about it. I know the one, yeah, yeah. You know about it. It's a movie based on a memoir, an American woman called Liz Gilbert, Julia Roberts stars in the movie.

But it's about a woman's journey where she spends four months in Italy, four months in India, four months in Indonesia. But in the Italy part, she goes to a pizzeria in Naples, yeah? And in the memoir, it's just a random pizzeria that she visits. But after the movie blew up, it became obviously very famous. Yes. That family has opened a version in Sydney. It's their 80th location around the world.

Stop that. It's a franchise. Well, Bob, it's all within the family, technically. So I guess it's just multiple locations, not different owners per se. But anyway, I was M-Sivis. You're really going to ask that detail. Give us that juicy detail, mate. Well, I want it on the record.

It's not a franchise because I don't want to misquote anything. But anyway, I was emzing that last night to 400 Italians. Wow. And a couple of Aussies, I think, were in the room asking for Hawaiian. I was like, if Ducko was here, he'd be asking for Hawaiian. Yeah, absolutely. But, yeah, so that's why I was here. It was a great honour to be asked by the familiar.

The Italians, were they on to you about your lack of Italian speaking? How dare you? year. I ripped out the Italian I knew. I did rip it out and people were coming up wanting to Buenos Serra, obviously. It's in the evening, Duck. Oh, damn. But yes, it is my, my issue. When I go hard on the limited Italian I have, people think I'm fluent. And then I'm trying to have conversations with Paolo and Giuseppe, and I'm going, guys, I've exhausted my knowledge. I'm sorry. It's all gone now. Can we switch back to English, please? But no, it was a phenomenal night. And I was just really, really happy to be a part of it.

A lot of pizza was eaten. A lot of pasta, a lot of pasta. They've got pasta as well. The desserts roaming around, a couple of ngronies. It was a wonderful, wonderful evening. Well, good. Well, I stopped having, you know, food poisoning yesterday sometime of the afternoon, which is fantastic. You dried up at one point.

That's great to hear. Oh, I feel so much better today than I did yesterday. You don't need the cork anymore. Oh, my God. Yeah, Babs, you can have the cork back. I'll let it on your desk. Fantastic. Very good. I hope you were instead.

But, I mean, what's a little bit of leftovers between friends? Yeah, what is a little bit of leftovers between friends, eh? Yeah, Babs actually requested me not to rinse it. Oh, okay, yeah. She's filthy like that. I'll accept the first thing, but I will not accept that. I'll draw the line at leftovers. You won't believe what's happened.

Babs and me, we arrived at the same time, so she's had a shocking morning. First thing she says is, Spotify RAPD isn't out today, and I thought it would be, because I want to share my rap with the world. And I was like... Hang on, Shai Guy, what was with you coming in yesterday saying some people have got the Spotify round? Because it's a global thing and there's like a billion Spotify

They can't just do it all at once. Anyways, countries are doing it now. That ruined her day. And then we get upstairs. She's got a Tupper container with blueberries and... Not the chea pudding. Nectarine. Blueberries and nectarine.

And she comes upstairs and she like goes to put it on the bench and hits the side of the container. It flies out of her handfuls on the grant. And blueberries just went everywhere along the kitchen fall. It was a blueberry spill. Oh, no, tell me you've picked them all up and they just had a rinse off. I did, yeah. Very good.

We persevered. Yeah, it didn't let it ruin a day. Yeah, you can rinse them. I mean, they were growing outside with everything else touching them, but it's fine. That's our plants work. Well done, shy guy. Look about logic.

That's how greenery is. He's going to rinse them anyway before we put it in. I would say what's on the kitchen falls a bit dirty than what's outside. Yeah, my point is you rinse them anyway, usually. Do you know what I heard about bluebirds? The blueberries the other day, they are one of the worst for, like, absorbing pesticide and stuff. So you're meant to wash, well, this was the recommended advice from the clean dude on TikTok.

You're meant to rinse them in apple cider vinegar and buy carb soda. Jesus. Wouldn't that just taste the flavor of them? It would change everything. That's exactly what I thought. My daughter is having two pannets of blueberries a day. If I was rinsing them in apple side of vinegar. Are you going broke?

Yes, that's why we can't afford to finish the reno. All our money is now tied up in blueberries. So I'm not ruining them with apple cider vinegar. Oh, my God. Oh, no. But Babs do with it what you will. Well, Babs just absorb the fungi off the floor and like all the dirt. Yeah, my immune system will love it.

Absolutely. That's good for your immunity. That's what's right. Tough day, but we're back. We're back. It's been six minutes. How many shows left to go, shy guy? Oh, yeah.

We'll get it up. It's 13. It's been a slower start today, actually. I think Shaka is a bit... Discavobulating. He's a bit tired today. Hold on. Here we go.

Naturally, it's 13. 13. Apollo 11. Apollo 11. Lucky number 13. Yeah, I was born on the 13th. So 13's a good number. I got 13 shows...

Were you born on a Friday? Friday. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Checked out. No, no, 13 shows... Were you? Yeah.

We're so alike sometimes, babes. We're like siblings. No, no. Don't want to... Oh, that was a side. I didn't like that one. Didn't like being called my sister. You took it too far.

It's like her, you bonded and then she cut it. This is what happened every time. Should have seen me and her at the Christmas party. God the conversation was flowing. Of course it was, because you're besties. Your sibling besties. No, 13 shows to go. You know, we're going out with a bang.

I was lying in bed last night just thinking about that. Like, jeez, only 13 more times you get to do with some of my mates. Do you know, only 13 more times, but only three more times we get to lick. Oh, we got shot. We've got a licks today. You can bring yourself a doggy ice cream maker. That thing is fantastic. He's got one of my favourite ice creams of all time today.

Ooh, okay. Do you want to lick the length of it today? I would also like, yeah, let's have a lick off, Shagai. Have a lick off. Yeah, well, we've got the four packs, so. Jess is a white, no, no, no, I'm looking yours. You got one side or the other. Oh, no, we'll get our own.

It's okay. What? What can only lick the same? We're in budget cuts. Not for that, we're not. That's happening at 730. We'll figure that out. It continues to buy the family packs, but just does not want to share them.

Our freezer at work, he's just full of cyclones, bubbles, bills, and now this one. No one knows, though. He doesn't send an email because he hates everyone. So he just leaves them in the freezer. People will find them if they need them. If you saw a bubbleau bill in your work freezer, I don't think you're going. That's for everyone. I'm going to punish that.

True. Anyway, that's at 7.30. We've got Alpha Bucks a chance of 10th course 7 and 8. We got Z-Tang Wang on the show today. That's right. He's the magician that put the microchip in his hand and forgot the password. Yeah, idiot. We were talking about him yesterday, and we're like,

oh, let's chat to him. In one of the great acts of initiative from a shy guy, while we were doing that conversation, found him on the internet and asked him for a chat. I mean, well done, shy guy. It's proper producing commute. That's proper producing. He was pretty obtainable.

He wasn't busy. With 13 shows to go, Duccoe, now you're seeing some proper producing. Oh, God, just as I'm leaving. Hey, up next, though, we've got a pastor who's doing something very funny in his congregation. I always love, I wish we called our priests. pastors. Yeah, I know. Let's be real. It's way better. It's a cooler name. Jess and daco.

We're jumping into the church team. It's been a while. It has been a while. We actually spoke about the Pope yesterday. The great man. Yes, but I feel like we were just in the square at the Vatican there. Yeah, true. I don't feel like we were in confessional. What about the pastor from

Gianni Limpopo? Who's gained viral attention. He's called Christ Pinelope, who who has founded sevenfold Holy Spirit Ministries. He founded a church. Well, sevenfold. Founded sevenfold Holy Spirit Ministries. It feels like there's a few of those.

Oh, okay. Okay, that's just not the name. Yeah, unless it is just one name. I'm not too familiar with him. However, he has got an unorthodox thing that he does. That has gone viral on social media, has caused a big uproar because I think he'll find out why. He, he reportedly, he farts.

He farts on his congregants as a he. healing process on their face. Not mad about it. I mean, the priest at my local church just flicks holy water out of me. This guy's going above a field. So what he does is people come up, if they want to be healed,

people come up and lie down. He squats over their face, like over their face. So he's right up in him and he's just... Heavenly Father, we thank you tonight for all your blessings. Just lets it rip. I prepare the knee shing, Ducko. But have you seen that?

the movie with Rob Schneider called The Benchwarmers. Yes, that's a great movie. Okay, you know, you know, oh my God. That's how they bully the kid when they're lying down if they've been knocked out or someone

pins them down and the bully squats over his head. Little Nelson and fasts in his face and he can taste it. But maybe that's where the pastor got his inspiration. It's one thing when school kids are doing it But when Pastor Piedelope is doing it and getting viral attention. So he's defended himself saying it's a demonstration of God's power

because he was being accused of hiding behind religion to do bad things. I was about to say, is he saying he's filled with the Holy Spirit? So he's got the Holy Spirit. He can inject it basically. It's a stinky healing ritual, demonstration of God's power. He said it started with Master Jesus when he stepped on Peter. It's the demonstration of God's power, just like God made Adam go into a deep sleep. It's a similar thing.

So he farts on them in a hope to. put them to sleep in a hope to help them and put the power of God in them. I was about to say, I haven't read the Bible in recent weeks, Ducko, but I don't remember any verses about Jesus farting on people to, like, cure their leprosy. But it does say, it does say, it does say he works in mysterious ways. It does say that. Oh, that's a nice interpretation, absolutely. He went to church and he went, all right, lie down.

You're like, okay, father. And he's like, oh, I'm just going to, I'm just going to hover over your face. So do people come to him saying, Father, I've got conjunctavitis. What do I do? And he goes, lie down. Like, what are the sort of things? Usually people say to him after he farts on their face. Yeah, yeah.

That happens and he's like... That's pink eye now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's giving everyone pink eye. What sort of things does it say? What sort of things people are going to the pastor to cure? Or is it just to get the Holy Spirit? No, it's it get the Holy Spirit.

It's just to get the Holy Spirit. And he says it's important that the fart be near the person's nostril so the healing power can enter the body and do its proper work. I mean, you just need to be in a closed room and I could smell it in. I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, breathe in the Holy Spirit pasta. You can imagine if someone's like, like he's had butter chicken the night before?

Just gagging out there? No, that's just extra Holy Spirit. Oh, that's extra. So Ducko last night I've told you that I was very lucky to be involved in a restaurant opening here in Sydney, very famous pizzeria, from Napoli, opening their first in Australia. From the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. From the movie Eat, Pray, Love, exactly. And when I looked in the kitchen, you know what was really nice to see?

human beings we know how you feel about AI which is not what I could say if this restaurant in Dubai called Woohoo wants to fly me over to do their grand opening when we look in the kitchen there we're not going to see

human beings ducko we're going to see an AI program I don't even know what that actually would look like is it a bunch of computers with robotic arms I'd imagine so all with knives chopping things on the chopping board, the arm's just going up and down.

Medieval torture device. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tools and spatulas. It would be chaos. Chef Eamon is what they're calling this program that is the brains behind the menu at Woohoo, new restaurant in Dubai. The world's first AI chef.

Now, you know everyone's concerned about AI taking their jobs. I genuinely thought chefing would be a safe industry. Yeah, I would have thought so. How does AI take those raw ingredients and then make me a pizza? I don't know. But this program allegedly is doing that. The thing where it's going, what can I do really that humans can't,

is recreate dishes using ingredients that no longer exist. Like extinct reptiles. We're talking dinosaurs, man. It's Jurassic Park Restaurant. That's what we got. So apparently, and now they haven't revealed the recipe because obviously, copyright, they don't want human chefs stealing chef Amans. Raptor eggs.

Yeah, yeah. Intellectual property. But apparently he's using DNA mapping to create meals that will taste like dinosaur. It's called dinosaur tartar. I'm assuming that's like, you know. Makes it sound fancy. The raw meat. That's just added 50 bucks to it.

Bro, bang on, 50 euros is how much this dish will call. 100 bucks Australian. It tastes like a combination of raw meats and get this. The AI chef serves it on a plate that pulsates. So it looks like it's breathing. And apparently it's meant to taste like what, well, again, they're not going into too much detail, but I'm assuming what a stegosaurus would taste like. Or maybe even a woolly mammoth.

I heard there are some. scientists genuinely trying to recreate woolly mammoths because it would be great for meat and the abundance of it. That's pretty cool. I mean, I'm not saying I want to eat dinosaur. I was going to say, would you order it? Would you order a problem? I'd be intrigued to try it.

You're a good tryer. See, I'm so limited with my food. I'm like, no thanks. Dinosaur, I'm happy to give that a miss. Yeah, it's like, I mean, like kangaroo, you've had that, like cricket legs. You know, I've had crickets. What's the strangest thing you've put in your mouth? You've probably crickets.

When they had the legs all got stuck to my tongue, had that. It was like crickets on a stick. I have heard very high in protein. Yeah, they're meant to be good for you. It didn't taste good, though. Yeah. I've never eaten, like, snake or anything that. I've actually never had crocodile.

I would like to try a crocodile. There's a shop near us that sells crocodile jerky. Maybe that'll, you can dip your toe in. The restaurant have come out and said, we're hoping that the AI chef, A. A.man, will one day become the next Gordon Ramsey. I mean. Yeah, yeah, he needs to blow up at people.

But you're trying to saw Tata's not good. Put the intern between two pieces of bread. What are you? An idiot sandwich. Now, Jess, we were discussing on the show yesterday morning about a magician who has got a chip in his hand. These are new things. You can get the microchips in your hand so you can unlock your car easier. Turn the coffee machine on without touching it.

Apparently, the article I read upwards of 50,000 people worldwide are doing this. And that was an old article. So I reckon that could have absolutely skyrocketed. Yes. People trying to eliminate the need to actually touch. anything and almost have some magic about controlling their tech. Well, one magician, genuine magician who was going to use this chip. We spoke about yesterday.

It was Z, the magician. Exactly. To enhance his act, something's gone awry. And we are very lucky to have secured some time with him, Zee the magician. Good morning. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, Ducco. How are you?

We couldn't be better, Zee. already, I mean, we love entertainers. We love illusionists. We love mentalists. We love magicians. But you were trying to escalate and elevate your act using one of these RFID microchips. Can you explain what you wanted to be able to do when you got this procedure done? So the idea was, you know, it would have a URL to some playing card. People would pick a card. I would take their phone, just swipe it over my hand and voila, the card appears on their phone. and that seemed like a great idea at the time. And in practice, it turned out to actually kind of be a mess.

It was kind of a dud. Is there something to do with everyone's phones wigging out the chip? Like, what actually went wrong? Oh, my God, yes. The range is tiny, and everyone's phone has that antenna on a different spot. And let me tell you, it does not look very magical when you're borrowing someone's phone and just pressing it all over your hands, trying to find where that antenna is. It's an illusion.

Oh, you've got a Google pixel? That's different. Right, okay. So it wasn't really working for you, but then you had some password issues with this chip. Yeah. What happened? Well, so the card, the card was a dud.

So I unlocked it and changed it to a Bitcoin address, and that never came up. So I unlocked it and changed it to a meme. And then YouTube started running ads on that brick roll video. So that became lame and so I unlocked it and I changed it to an image and then I locked it again and then like seven or eight years later that link broke on Imager and so now I had a broken link and when I went to unlock it again I realized I forgot the password. Sorry, so have you had this thing in you for that long?

Oh my God and you didn't make the password like Z one two three like something you could really easily I don't remember. No, I've always been a huge password nerd, so it was, you know, it was some very long thing that I thought I would never forget because you would never think you'd forget the password to a chip inside your hand until you do. Until it does, until it happens. Zee, look, I don't want to poke holes in your story. It's your body, it's your choice.

But when you got this done, what, seven, eight years ago, even the fact that it wasn't working the way you wanted because you were having to manipulate with so many phones, it wigged out the technology. Was that not something you investigated before you implanted a chip in your body? Oh, I mean, the technology works perfectly fine. It's doing exactly what it's meant to. You know, like if you lose your keys and you can't get into your house, that's a good thing. You can do it. Okay, fair. It was just human error. And then so what's the fix now? You've got to get it taken out of you in order to find the Last way to get a new one?

Like, I could get it taken out, which would be, you know, a super minor surgery. Or I could just keep the link. A couple years ago, the link started working again. So thank goodness for that. And honestly, it's not causing any harm in my hand. And it's a nice conversation piece. And it's also now a nice internet meme. Well, this has just been fascinating.

I love it. I also just wanted to quickly touch on. You're a magician and scientist. How does that, how do those two things, marry up in your live shows? Well, I got my started magic while studying for my doctorate, which involved a lot of long, lonely, boring nights and weekends in front of a microscope. And I got so stir-crazy not being around people.

I just took a deck of cards and went out to the street and started just showing card tricks to random people. And about 12 years ago, I did that in front of the right person and found someone offering to pay me money to go do magic at their bar. So, and I've been doing it ever since. Right, that's so cool. You just don't know where an opportunity will present itself. Yeah, like coming to radio here with us up there, and you keep on doing that.

And things will look out. Things will work out. Well, Zee, the magician, mate. Thank you. We appreciate you coming on the Jess and Darko show all the way here in Australia. And best of luck with the magic career and the chip in your hand. If you change it, let us know. Okay, send us a message on Instagram.

If you find the password one, I'd be like, oh my God, it's been 15 years. I remember. I've got it. I want to circle back. Z, you're a delight. I love you. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. Jess and Duckard. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabet on here, Apple Books. Yes, indeed. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, you can say pass. Of course, we come back to you. If there is time playing today, we have Kathleen. Good morning, Kathleen. Good morning. Oh, Kathleen. Welcome to Wednesday. Welcome to your opportunity to win $10,000.

What do you want to spend the money on? Well, I think my partner is very close to proposing, so hopefully a wedding. Ooh, okay. What's giving you the vibe that they're going to get down on one knee? He brought a ring sizeer, and he made me try it on. Hey, honey, I just randomly found this. work. Could you just put your finger in this and try it? Do you know what could be fun for a Tuesday?

And the one that does the exact measurement. Yeah. You know what's a fun Tuesday night activity? Let's measure each other's fingers. Yeah. Let's just do it. You might I'll do yours. Okay. Well, that's a really unsubtle way as a dude of saying, yeah, it's coming.

But I love how precise. This means Kathleen will be able to wear the ring immediately. Granted she says yes and granted she likes it. Yeah. And they won't have to get it resized. I love it. I love it. Let's just cut out the admin.

Let's do it. All right. Well, Kathleen, I'm on the question today because Jess is in Sydney, okay, so otherwise it's not fair to you. So, you know, I'll go gentle with you, go gentle with me. Kathleen, we can do, let's do this together, all right? Give me a good letter, though. Okay, I actually think this is a good letter.

A lot of words with this. Your letter is W, W for Wheelbarrow. Got it. Okay. Do you like the letter, Kathleen? Not really. Whoa. I mean, it's no T or an S.

I like that. I like W is a great letter. There's plenty of going on. People freak out around. back end of the alphabet. But yes, all you need, Kathleen, are ten little words that start with W. You've got this. Okay.

All right, Kathleen. Here we go. Starting with the letter W, I need you to name a country. A verb. A reality TV show. A pub. An R&B artist. An occupation.

Water tester A school subject Writing A comedy film A sport A sport Well there was a fair few puzzles at that one There were

We've got two correct Congratulations Yeah Well Well done. We can quickly go through. At least it wasn't a nudie run. I thought you were on track for a nudie run there.

Country, we were looking for Wales. We could have had Walk TV show, one of our favourites, wife swap. No one ever remembers wife swap. Yeah, no. R&B artist, one of the greats. Wiz Khalifa, obviously performed at Friday's Live. Occupation and school subject, all good. Comedy film.

There were a couple, Wayne's World Wedding Crashers, White Tricks. And I think we ran out of time, but sport, we could have had a wrestling or weight lifting. Look, Kathleen, maybe it was me that threw you off. Maybe it wasn't your brainpower of the questions. I think it was me. I'm sorry, you know? Well, I haven't had my coffee yet, so I'll blame that. Oh, well, that's what it is. That's a comedy of errors here, Kathleen. I don't know if you stood a chance. But Jess, what did she get, though? Oh, my God. Thank you for giving me the honour. You always get to do this. I'm so excited to give Kathleen. Yes. $100 to spend with our best mates at Mink's Adult Boutique.

So not so much for the wedding, but for the wedding night. Am I right, Kathleen? Perfect. Honeymoon, son. Honeymoon, sodden. Thanks for playing, Kathleen. We'll chat to you soon. Thank you. We do play again. 8 o'clock, $10,000. That's how hard it can be or easy. It's really up to you.

You know what? This is a good lesson, though. If you are a coffee drinker, you've got an hour to have a coffee. Or 45 minutes to have a coffee. Far up, you know. Fire up steam train. Absolutely. Up next, Ducko. I don't know how to interpret something my friend has done. I need your hot take, please. Oh, you've come to the right guy.

I know. I can help you out. I don't know how to feel after one of my friends revealed something to me, Ducker, and I'd love your hot take on this one. You know that I moonlight as a celebrant, and for about a year and a half, I've been asking one of my best mates, who I had the privilege of marrying her and her husband that long ago,

I've been asking her to write me a review. I'm like, could you write me a testimonial? I'm trying to pat out my website a little bit. All my other couples have done it. can you write me a review? Now, yes, she's got a small child. She's just had a second. I appreciate she's a busy woman.

But for God's sake, write me a review. I was really proud of that one. Yeah. And if she has a writer in the moment straight away, she's going to forget the passion. Thank you. You get it. So even though it's been a year and a half,

I've still been bugging her because I just wanted it. I wanted it in writing. And yes, a part of me wanted to hear it in, you know, fancy language, like if she liked it and what she thought of me that I could share it. Anyway, the other night, I wake up to a message from her, an essay. I'm like, oh my God, she's finally written the review. And this is some of the language she used, Ducko.

I'm not making this up. This is what my friend Lana sends me. Some couples choose their wedding date based on a venue, perhaps the weather. We chose ours based on Jess's schedule, and it was hands down the best decision we could have made for our day. she goes on and on she'll make you cackle cry and question how did she know that and somehow make you fall deeper in love with a person standing across from you it goes on on on this line this line ducco i wanted on my tombstone jess is a gift to the world booking her as your celebrant is a gift to yourself no one has said nicer things about me in my life yeah and i wrote back just gushing i said lana you

Oh, my God, not even Angus' vows at our own wedding with this beautiful and loving. Thank you. I share it on my website. I share it on social media. She messages me maybe two days later once she sees these posts go live. She goes, oh my God, I forgot I wrote that. I was so drunk when I sent it. I thought she was going to say chat GPT did it.

That's where I thought it was going. But she was just drunk. She goes, I was so drunk when I sent it. And I don't know why, but in the Uber home, your voice just popped into my head. Write me a review. And in that moment, I remember to do it. Glad you liked it. But I'll be honest.

Well, at least she still wrote it, right? She was vulnerable. She was drunk. But now, this is where I want to get to. Has that diluted the passion and realness of that because she was drunk? Yeah. I mean, the fact that she doesn't remember what she said would suggest that. Yeah, I think so.

Because you know what she said? She goes, oh, God. God, I needed to have edited that. Look at those run-on sentences. Okay, so now she's regretting, having poured her heart out. And I just don't know how to feel. Is that review now tainted because she was drunk? Yeah, I mean, I don't think you can take it as seriously anymore.

Yes, that's what I was worried about. If I was like, no worries, you liked it. That's fantastic. Then I'll read back at what I said and gone, oh, yeah, I did so. Okay. It's almost like she's embarrassed for gushing so much, and she wanted to justify it, which I'm really kind of saddened about. And I go, oh, my best testimonial from, yes, one of my closest.

From a close friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now feels like it's got an asterisk. It was written whilst drunk. Then there was a wedding you did the other day that you were telling us about where it was actually just Phil Dumfey quotes from modern family. And you're like, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My favourite is Jess just taking things. Like really, oh my God.

I take them so literally because I think I'm still caught up. Obviously, I'm still newish to this industry. I take things really at face value. Oh, it's all very serious and romantic. And I'm like, nah, people out here taking the piss doing stuff drunk going, I don't think I need to loosen up a little bit. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

You know, it's no secret that on this show I've announced that my wife can be clumsy sometimes and she can be forgetful. She has what I like to call. It's another magical Morgan moment. Yes. Yeah, magical Morgan ones. Similar to shy guy, many skills in one area. Lacking in others.

Morgan, fantastic with a scalpel. Not so great on a dance floor. Fantastic cardiac nurse. Just, you know, watch out on default. Good, but dislocates a knee. We'll dislocate a knee. And very forget, not forgetful, but just like, it's weird.

Like she can forget dates and names and stuff way better than me, but where she puts the car keys, gone. See you later. She puts me a new spot every time. So I get home yesterday. Selective memory, doesn't it? And she's doing this new thing lately,

and it's happened more, I suppose, since we've had a child, where she just doesn't lock the car. Like, she'll get out. She's in a hurry. She'll get out. And I'll like, if I'm with her, I'm like, lock the car. And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, gets the front door, then locks it from the street. I'm like, no, I'll take the keys.

I'm just going to go out and make sure it's locked now and come back in and whatever. But I came home the other day. She'd had my car and I'd been out somewhere. And I came back in and I was like, hey, where are the car keys? Couldn't find them. Had no idea where they were. And I'm like, well, I'm like, why does this keep happening? Like, we have a bowl for the keys that sits in the kitchen.

Are you a key bowl family? Absolute key ball family. I didn't know that about you guys. It sits next to all those important things and the miscellaneous stuff. Oh yeah, you need the key. We've got a key shell, actually. We've got given this shell as a weird engagement present or a wedding present from Morgan's hippie-dippy-dippy-a-a-a-anty. I was about say, display shell.

You go, what is this for? Except collecting dust. Keys now. Let's put keys and trigger balls and stuff in there, like random things. I always understand that for dudes because you don't have a handbag. Is Morgan not a handbag person? because that's just where my keys permanently live. Not really.

She has a handbag if she goes out for certain occasions, but she doesn't like, you know, it's a tiny handbag and can never fit anything. Right. So I get home, we're trying to find these keys. I'm like, where are these keys? Like, we need the keys. And she like doesn't care.

Like, she's not like that. She's like, well, you know, I didn't lose them. They lost themselves vibe. And you're like, yeah, okay. They lost me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're trying to find some responsibility for yourselves, keys. I go up to the car and I go into the car and they're sitting in the car,

the keys are right there. Oh, like in the console. In the Senate console, she's got, she's now, she's now reached this. And this is happening now more often than not. She's reached a stage where... I don't know if you should be talking about this, because if the burglars out there, you know that this is happening, they're just going to start looking for a known car. You remember that time a couple of years ago?

A couple years ago, my car got rifled through because Morgan, Morgan left it unlocked and we went away for a week. We came back and stuff was everywhere. If the keys had been in that car, well, that time, see you later. See you later. They could have just driven off with the whole. thing other than just your Rufus CD. But literally, I came in yesterday.

When I found the keys in the car, I was like, well, the keys are in the car. She was like, oh, well, it's fine. Nothing happened. No ramification. No harm done. I don't know why you're sweating about it. Oh, I want to put her on key watch now. Like, I just, every time we get in there, the car, she comes at home, I'm like,

where are the keys? What have you done with the keys? Put them in the bowl. You need to do air tag. Yes. You know how people always tell me to put the tattoo on my hand for L and R. Left and right. Maybe she needs one that just says, key.

are they in this hand? No, they're not. Pick them up. Yes, exactly. How do we help Morgan? How do we help? It just baffles me. I get so anxious about like making sure the car.

I'm one of those people who lock the car ten times so I can hear it like as I'm walking away. And she doesn't lock it once and leaves the keys in the car. Do you know what you need? Will it help? Will she just brush up against it even further? We need to go old school. You know how a lot of families are getting dumb phones again for their kids or even for themselves to avoid being on socials or the internet so much.

You need to go back to the days where it wasn't keyless entry. It wasn't just walk away from the car. It locked. You've got to go back to manually inserting. Put the key in and lock it. You've got to, yeah, to start it, to turn it off, to lock it. That's the only way she'll go, there is an act I haven't done here. Yeah, that's what I need to do with it.

Or you can get one of those flexible, you know, those people put their key cards on them and they like attached to your belt sort of thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. On a carabina. It's always on her, yeah. She'd get it stuck in the door somehow. and walk away, it would rip. That's what would happen. But it's the keys fault, Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. Discover Tfell's new dolchy ice cream maker. Available now at Tifel.com.com. Taste the taste day. Shy guy licks. Oh, yes. That time of the week and everyone gets excited. You're a Tfell Dalchi ice cream maker.

We are doing shy guy licks to carry us through to the end of the year. I think this is our third last lick. That's right. Tfell. were very generous, just as summer starts, they go, hey, rice cookers want to make some ice cream? Yes, they do. All you've got to work out is the ice cream that shy guy is licking today. I'm a little bit worried, Jess, because he's got these out of the freezer maybe seven minutes ago.

So I'm worried there's going to be some de-frosting already. He pulled the trigger early. Shy guy dips, licks, sips, everything we've done is just shown that shy guy does. things the shy guy way. He's own way. And he cannot be told otherwise. No. If you can work out the ice cream that he has in his hot little hand,

you do, of course, walk away with the ice cream maker. Your first clue, as always, is the lick of today's an ice cream. You've got to open it now and is it melting? That's pretty solid. That looks pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, it looks delicious, mate. All right, you look one side because I'm going to lick the other.

But anyway, here we go. Audio clue. Oh, come on. I can't lick. You just made it. Here, give me that thing. Give me that thing. So, guys, you promised to leak the length of it.

Which side? Which side did you lick? I can't decide. I just give you a friend of. Yeah, well, everyone's getting. I can't remember what side I did. Okay, okay, okay, okay. COVID's a thing of the past.

Just share, you know. Okay, here we go. This is how one licks. Duccoe, show us how it's done. Oh. How's that? Let me go. Why do I make a grunt?

Why do you go? Chah goes, let me lick. You know who he reminds me of? Salad fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? Hello, I'm salad fingers. Salad fingers.

I like rusty spoons. It was a YouTube thing. I don't know who did it. Very much our generation. Very our generation. But when he licks... Doc, I don't do this. You know how my God's get?

God, damn it. Don't do this. You know how my God's get? Babs, can you please come in here and take the... Babs, you want to come for a lick? Come to there. We got the four pack. We got the four pack.

Everyone's going to have one. All right, that's your first clue. Put mine in the freezer for tomorrow, please. I don't know if it's going to last 24 hours. You can have half of mine. All right, that's your first clue. Thank you. 13, 1060.

If you can guess what Shaga is licking you win an ice cream maker. Remember, you'll get another clue first cab off the rain. You don't have to guess just based off that, but if you get it just off that. Geez, you're good. Then you can share an ice cream shot. That's the real prize. Desmonducco. Discover Tifal's new Dolchy ice cream maker.

Available now at Tifal.com. You. Shai Guy Lex. It is the time of the week. You have a chance to win a T-Fal-Dolci ice cream maker. Summer is here, baby. Oh, yeah. And how good is a little bit of ice cream?

You can make it yourself, but this thing can make a whole bunch of other stuff. Frappes, margaritas. Yep. Hey, what happened to Babs' trial with the Milo ice cream? Yeah, no, it's good. We've all been punishing that. Fent.

Well, Babs actually finished the tub, and Shagga and I got a little spoonful. But Shagga just finished the cream. that he was licking, and I had a bite of mine. Then the whole team, thank you. So, like, don't do it. Think about your gut, so I had to put mine in the bin. So it's been a very creamy show.

It has been a creamy show. I'm sorry to be doing the show down the line from Sydney, but we must cream on, Ducco. You must always. We have heard a couple of licks now. Yep. But we've got Michaela on the line. Good morning, Michaela. Good morning.

How are we all? Good, Michaela. Yeah, fantastic. Now, you don't have to answer this, but do you reckon you know just from the lick what the ice cream is today, or do you need a supplementary clue? I might go for an extra clue if I can. It's probably smarter. It's probably smart from you.

All right, Shaka, what have you got from Michaela? All right, Michaela, they are made with real fruit. That's a huge clue. Are we just giving it away? There's not too many made with real fruits. Yeah, there's not many. Even maybe this one might not be. Says on the box.

Is it a Reese's ice cream bar? We're going to need specifics. Are we going to need specifics? Are we going to need flavour? Do you want a specific fruit? Yeah, I think so. What's the fruit? Okay, um, let's go the classic mango ice cream bar.

Shy Guy? Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, is that what it is? Yes! Mikaela! Sorry, Shire. You got it. You got it straight away.

It is the wiesces mango. What was the doubt there, Shagai? Well, uh, yeah, what is it saying? What are you reading? Well, I don't know. Yeah, there's no doubt. Michaela, you have just, you have just won Shagai Licks. You've won yourself that Tfowl, Adulchy, ice cream maker.

Well done. Oh my God, that's amazing. I mean, okay, La, I reckon you could have, I reckon you should have backed yourself in. You knew that was that just from the lick, didn't you? No, I pivoted. I kivated. You guys taught me that. Yeah, we good listening, good learning.

It was the fruit clue from Shagai. That gave it away, mate. I thought you were going to say, two. colors or something like that. I thought that was easier. No, no, because everyone knows Wee Spars are real fruit. That's, you'd be one of the only, besides. I don't know that. I'm not a fan of the Weiss. Besides frosty fruit,

I actually can't think of another ice cream. That would talk about fruit as much as the Wees bar does. You'd just... This would be the rice cups would go down. Oh, fair enough. You've handed that to Michaela. Congratulations. You've got ice cream for summer. She does. Well done, Michaela. Fantastic. Thank you,

Mark. Now, Shaga, what's this line? You were discussing it? in the, we just need to get this audio. Shy guy. Oh, um, hi, I'm Michaela. No, my name's Michaela. Yeah, come on, man. Do you do it then? No, no, no.

Hi, my name's Michaela. Hi, my name's Michaela. And I'm so excited. So excited. I feel weird saying. Oh, yeah, but you were happy for me to say it. Oh, man. Yeah, but it's different if you say it as I say it.

No, no, you're going to put your mouth to it. I'm not saying it. Come on, team. No, because now it's actually because of the buildup. Hi, my name's Michaela And I'm so excited I can't bring myself to say it Come on, man, just do it's not that bad

And I licked No, I can't do it I can't do it, I can't say it It's way worse on it It's way worse on it Michaela has places to be Alright Michaela, hi, my name's

Michaela and I'm so excited I just won shy guys I licked shy guys box Okay Roll the audio Take one Michaela And action Hi I'm Michaela

And I'm so excited I just licked Shy Guy's box I also want it on the record That is not What Shy Guy was trying to say It was way worse What Shy Guy said

Believe it or not Was actually worse than that And the fact that he couldn't do it Hey Michaela well done And cream on Thanks so much guys And have a fantastic Wednesday.

If my single ladies are ever visiting New York, there is an Instagram account. I need you to start following. Oh, Instagram and TikTok, actually. New Yorker by the name of Alyssa, Ducko. She started something that has absolutely blown up on social media. Yep. She is the creator.

She is the brilliant mind behind the page where hot guys eat. Oh, yeah. Shaga got me on to this months ago. Oh, when you were visiting New York, obviously. But no, we just watch it because we love looking at the hot guys and where they eat, right, Shiger? All over the hot guys. Oh, yeah, yeah. So nothing to do with actually traveling to.

You just wanted to be across where the hot guys are. What do you mean? He's in finance and he eats at that restaurant? I'm guessing that's what this page is. Pretty much. So Alyssa basically walks around with one of the tiny mics that you'll see all the content creators and influences walking around with and filming themselves on. And she stops conventionally attractive gentleman and goes,

E, where you're going for lunch, where you're going for dinner, in a bid to help single ladies, obviously who are interested in single men, know where to go to maybe share a meal eventually or at least have some nice eye candy while they too enjoy your meal. Here is a little bit of Alyssa interviewing one of these hot guys. So I'm here with you on. Tell us how old you are, where you live and what you do for work. So I'm 30. Tough to say that out loud. I live in the West Ville. village, and I work in finance. And then where would you go for a date night dinner?

I'm going to say it's small. I hope it doesn't blow up too much, but Golden Swan near me. Oh, yeah, Golden Swan is great. Specifically, like, the bar room, downstairs. It doesn't sound stage at all. I don't know. Everything about it's real. So this is the thing that, I mean, everything on the internet now.

I mean, I sent you as a video of a monkey stealing an umbrella and flying off into the distance. Allegedly, that was AI. I can't tell what's real. I just like, guys, look at this monkey flying. Amazing. It's like those chiropractic ones that I talk about with the grandmas when they get thrown through a wall. Jess was like, that's real. That's a non-na.

Wouldn't that hurt? How did the non-na survive that guy dropping a boulder on her back? So yes, look, take it with a grain of salt. But these things are blowing up so much that these restaurants, like the Golden Swan, are now booked out for months in advance. People are genuinely meeting people and now going on actual dates and continuing relationships. She's doing God's work. Could you imagine the equivalent in a moment? Australia. He'd be like, what's your name? I don't know why I'm American.

What's your name? Would he be like, yeah, I'm Graham, I'm a plumber and I like KFC. Yeah. I like, I like a zinger box. But the question is, I'll go specifically which KFC so I can go hunt down, Graham. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabet on hit. Oh, yeah. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, you can say pass.

Of course, we come back if there is time. We are playing for $10,000. Of course, our player is Hannah. Good morning, Hannah. Hello, how are you guys going? Hannah, we are fantastic for a Wednesday. We've already given away a T-Feld-Dolchy ice cream maker this morning. We've yet to give away $10,000, though.

Are you going to be the person to take it office? Honestly, I hope so. That'd be awesome. How do you normally go when you play the game? Um, last time I played, I think I got three or four, it was like a pretty, pretty awful effort. Okay, okay. Can we do six or seven better, Hannah? Have you been training?

Have you been practicing? I have, I have. My friends and I a couple of weeks ago, we were playing categories and our rule for whether it was going to be included was, would it be included in Alphabet? Oh, that's good. There you go. Well, it depends who's doing the answers. You know, we can go pretty rogue with that. But today, Hannah, Jess will be doing the answers

because she's doing the show away from Sydney. So I am going to be reading you the questions, all right, and I've got another bit of good news for you. Yes. Your letter is A. A for aeroplane. Okay. A's a great letter.

Solid, Hannah. I think it's a good letter. Okay. Hopefully we can do better than last time. Let's go. I've got a bit of a vibe about this one. Here we go. Sit up, everyone.

We've got a winner on a winner. our hands. Okay, starting with the letter A. I need you to name. Something in the kitchen. A, puff. An Australian athlete. Oh gosh. A path. An occupation. Artist. A biscuit. A little crumbled biscuit. An instrument. A path An adjective A A country

Australia Australia on the buzzer To give you a grand total of two Correct You've actually done words I'm not I'm not paying Apple Crumble Biscuit That's not a thing.

So you answered three, but two correct. We'll quickly go through. Not three correct. Three answered. Let's do some learnings together, Hannah. Something in the kitchen could have been air friar. An athlete, I mean, Andrew Johns, you could have mentioned any of the rugby players, really, AFL players. Occupation, you did answer, artists, very good.

A biscuit could have been Arrowroot or Anzac Bickey. instrument you're looking for the accordion an adjective a describing word that could have been angry or amazing and you brought it home with country Australia. Look Hannah you don't get the money I'm sorry but you do get a hundred dollars suspended minks

at old boutique that is all yours thank you very much guys you are welcome not often we invite other people back on to play and they do worse so you're in a category I wonder what all your friends who play with you that you were discussing earlier. I wonder what they'll think of that performance just then. I'm going to text them because I know they'll be listening and they'll be like,

yeah, well, you were really bad last time and you just threw yourself. It's a tough game. Thanks, Hannah. Thanks, guys, too. We play again tomorrow, 7 and 8 for $10,000. Once again, a string of average players, Jess. I don't know what's going on. Is it too much pressure saying that you're finishing up and we really want to give it away before you go?

I mean, might be, could be. Yeah, people are choking with the pressure. Yeah, absolutely. We don't want to give it away. No, we don't care. Yeah, actually, that's a good one. Last time we did that, we won. We didn't even want the money to go.

We don't want it. No, we don't care what happens. We don't care at all. But up next, I'm asking one of the great questions that I do care about. What do you just hate about getting older? Oh, very good. I'm going to, we don't have to... I want to find the youngest person to whinge about getting older.

You know, we normally do the therapy tent, Jess. We're getting into the therapy tent, yes. We're getting into the therapy. Retirement Home next. Oh, I love that. It's dusty in here. And Bab's surprising. Still in there.

Jess and Ducko. From the guy who brought you the therapy tent, I now give you the therapy old people's home. Why is there a zip to the old people? Oh, there's always a zip because, you know, people can't use door handles. So zips are a much easier thing. No, no, but we need it to be something they can't use so they can't escape, Ducko. Yeah. So maybe we've got to rethink the zip.

Well, we can just put cable tires on top of the zip. In fact, they'll probably get more confused at the zip. Where is it at the top or the bottom? I don't, ah, and then they can't reach it. Who's pants are these? Yeah. We're discussing on 13, 10, 16. Matter what age you are, what do you hate about getting older? Yeah, let's have a little vent.

There's obviously a list going around on the internet that's going very, but we'll also talk about it here. A few great ones on there, driving. Someone said, when I got my license and when I was younger, I used to love going for a drive. Now, it's just too hard. Oh, my God. Agreed. Agreed. You haven't liked driving.

Can't I just pop downstairs to get what I need? I've got to drive. Oh, what about this? And I second this. Subscriptions for everything. And you don't remember your passwords for half of them and then you've got so many. You're spending so much money on them. Remember the days where you could just give 20 bucks to the donation guy in his little tin?

When the lifeguard man would knock on the door and go, we're raising money for the lifesavers. I care about the lifesavers. Do you care about seven people's lives? description? You want me to put like a direct debit every month? No. We don't take cash anymore. You can easily cancel it. No, mate. You're going to hound me for years. You can be the third degree when I try and cancel it. Yeah, I agree. What about this one? And this is huge in the ducco world. The wind. As I get older, I think I hate wind more and more. It's the worst element. It ruins everything. You have gotten grumblier about the world as the years have ticked on.

When we first met, you were a bit, you know, the wind's not. great, and now you could go on for hours. Oh, yeah, I don't like the wind. I also don't, no, I don't mind this, but some people are saying loud music. I used to have a subwoofer in my car, and now I had to sell it because it's way too loud. Oh my God, I saw the best meme the other day. You know how back in the day at the club, we would go and ask the DJ at the club for a request. Do you take requests, mate?

Do you take requests? Now my request is, can you turn it down a bit? No, and your request is, do you guys have a pito grigio in a glass? Well, I'm not asking the DJ that, am I? I know to ask the bartender. While we're on it, though, do you have one for me? I do. Mine and I realize this, remember when I told you about that little car accident?

I was in the other week. The thing I hate about getting older is expecting to be the adult in situations. Because in those moments, I feel like a child. And I want to call my dad to help me. But I'm standing there going, oh, no, no, I'm grown. I have to deal with this on my own. When you've got to handle it yourself? Yeah.

When you make a boo-boo and you've got to. clean love? You're like, particularly when someone in the situation is younger than me, I go, do you know what to do? And they're like, aren't you 15 years older than me? Like, yeah, I am. Mine would be, I mean, to no surprise, having to think before you eat. That is just, you know, how's this going to set me back for the next day, the next couple of days tonight, you know? And that's nothing to do with having a big night on the sauce or anything. It's genuinely

just what you put in your guts and how it will affect you for the next 24 to 48 hours. hours. That is an adult problem, if ever I've heard one. Shai Lord, do you have one for us? Yeah, mine will be deciding when to do the grocery shop because I don't want to be crowded. Not even what to buy. It's just you don't want the crowds. You're not doing a Sunday night shop then. No. Yeah. Oh, geez. Could you imagine Shagai at a festival? No, I can't. Yeah. Not this iteration of Shire guy. He's adult self. Let's go to the oldest in the team, Babs. What are you got for us, Babs?

I hate leaving the house after 5pm because I don't like coming home to not a car park. Oh, in your street. In my street. Yeah, not having street parking. What do you mean I have to walk a street over? Like, no, thank you. Caring about street parking in your own street, people putting their bins out and blocks your street parking

is when you know you're getting old. Like, that's peak aging. Would you say maybe making your wife leave a note on a car that's parked over your drive? No, that's also one. Calling the council on someone. Nah, it's pretty youthful. You get it.

13, 1060. Jump in the therapy. The therapy retirement home with us, with a zip. I'll let you win with my zip. What do you hate about getting older? Jess and Ducko. Welcome to the old people's home. That's in a zipper.

The zip is getting in and out. Don't ask too many questions. It's a theater of the mind. It's a theater of the radio on the mine. But it's good to be here. On our retirement village. You know what's fun? All of us getting around in our mobility scooters.

Sharga's great at bowls now. Tomorrow, let's do the best things about getting older. Yeah, that's fun. Let's get a bit of positivity going. I like that. Now we're going all negative. The worst things about getting older, the things you hate. Yeah, like deciding what to eat every day, having to get cooking.

Oh, being in charge of that. I understand now why my mother was always bloody just at the end of her tether. Yeah. Oh, I'll cook whatever you want. Just tell me what you want. Give me something. thing. Then I give mum something like, be strong enough. And she's like, well, no, I'm not doing that. I'm like, well, hang on. You said anything, woman. People saying driving, they used to like

it. They don't. Subscriptions, paying for things. Sweet things, they can't handle it. The wind, you know what I mean? Crowds. I would, would you say as well, Doco, just getting older, acquiring more knowledge and just knowing how bad everything is and how dire every situation is. The blissful ignorance of youth. I miss it. Knowing no one, including your parents, knows what they're doing. It's, you know.

Yes, yes. We go to Alex first on 13, 1060. Alex, what do you hate about getting old? Morning, Jess. Morning, ducco. Morning. Good morning, Alex. Oh my gosh.

I hate having a hangover the next day or the few days afterwards. It lasts forever. Yes, yes. What age do you think it tipped over for you, Alex? Like, did you wake up on your 27th and go, oh my God, or was it, what age was it? I think I said you hit like 30. It just lasts the day. Yeah.

It's not even feeling sick. It's just the brain fog. The brain fog. The dumbness. We were discussing this, Alex, on Monday because we had our Christmas party on Friday. And geez, even on Monday, Jess and I was still like, I'm not 100%. I was like, Daco, what's wrong with me today? Like, I need to fuel differently.

He's like, you put away a couple of rosés. Three days ago. Yes. Still being punished. I've got one tonight. So I'm preparing. All right, P, the rest of your week. Let's call Alex next Wednesday and see if he's recovered.

Beck is called in 13-1060. Beck, what do you hate about getting older? Hi, guys. When I was a kid, I used to get so angry when my dad or my grandparents were fall asleep watching a movie. And now I hate that I am now that person. Yeah. There's nothing more senile than waking up.

And it's like 2 a.m. And the movie's over and the credits are playing. Yeah. Ah. Oh, that's funny. Oh, not being able to make it through a whole movie. Even the idea of like starting a movie at 8. Are you joking?

I wouldn't have thought so. High risk. Robbie. What do you hate about getting older, Rob? Well, at my age, my love, I've got to start warming up my knees half an hour before a hockey game. Otherwise, I don't run. Yeah. Oh, I mean, I appreciate that.

No, just taken off from a stop. She's got to have a half-hour prep just for the knees. WD-40 just for the joints, eh, Robbie? And in winter, I've got to take a hot water bottle for half time because we have nine o'clock games because otherwise my knees will freeze up completely. Nine o'clock games, they are joking. Nine o'clock games in the middle of the week is disgusting. Ducko, would you say that, yeah, getting older,

feeling body parts you never used to feel. I never remember having issues with my knees, but now I stand up in heels for 25 minutes. I go, why are my knees aching? I find even after I drink and stuff, I'm on my calves get sore. I'm like, why my carbs sore? What did that?

What do? Oh, let's finish it with Melissa here on 13, 1060. Mel, welcome to the therapy, old people, so. What do you, what you hate about it? How are you going? Good, Mel. Hi. Oh, it just get a bit fearful for laughing so hard

because the tears just start running down the legs. It can get a bit embarrassing. Sabrina Carpenter over here. Oh, she's put us on. She's just put us on hold. That's also something off people do. Let's wait until she comes back. Let's just see Mel knows.

Mel's whacked us on hold because she's got tears coming out of our legs now. Ducco, I had so many questions about Melissa's pelvic floor, which I don't know if we're going to get to now. She doesn't take us off hold. Oh, she's obviously got, Mel, you back? Oh, my ears are too big two now because I just accidentally put you on hold. Yes and Ducco. Hi, hi, it's Lady Gaga. I broke the dog

It's me and being, be and being La La La La Jess and don't go is Identify the Lady Gaga song within one second And we will give you a double pass To see her in Sydney Next week

We are filling the stadium with rice cookers Yeah, how good would that be Our first Unreal caller here is Tarni Good morning Tani Good morning guys Tani do you consider yourself

A little monster Oh, yeah, definitely. So it's my son. It's so good. Couple of more. It's so good. I love it. All right.

So would you take your son, if successful here, Tarnie? I don't know. Fair, fair, not a way, be better. I'll just tell you he's a fan, but he will not be coming. Well, here is the first snippet. You get a one second of the song. As I said, I think this will go easy if you're a true monster, but here we go. I'm...

Oh, my gosh. I mean, it's a lyric. It's a lyric. It's a lyric. It's a lyric. There's that one second. Any ideas of what you might think Gaga is doing there, Toney? Um, is it shallow? Oh, it is not. A couple of guesses for shallow this week, haven't we? That's the default. If you don't know, you just go, ah, shallow. Unfortunately not, Tarnie. We go to Stacy. Good morning, Stacy. Good morning. All right, Stacey, here you go. You get you one second again. Here you go. I'm

You're going to turn the radio Turn your radio off This is going to get really annoying Sorry That's right Did you hear the one second? No, I didn't Okay, all right

Here you go here Here you go I'm What you reckon Oh What you reckon? Edge of glory It is not

Edge of glory I wish it was Jess, I really feel this to be easy, because if you know the song and you're a big Gar-Gar fan, it's pretty obvious. Well, this is the thing. When she's starting with a lyric, yeah. Can you work out what the couple words after that? I, maybe that would help. Kaylee, Kaylee, good morning.

Kaylee, hey, that. Oh, Kaylee. We've got a monster in Kaylee's phone, nine. Hello. Hello. Sorry, hey. You're all right. Here we go.

Here's the one second for you. What do you reckon? I got nothing. I'm going to go both off the way. It is not. Oh, we're getting through them today. Okay, I was wrong about the monsters. You buried the lead.

You buried the lead. Who have we got next? Ash. Good morning, Ash. Hey, how are you? Good. Ash, for the fourth time. You get the one second.

Americano. I'm... Yeah. Didn't even need it. I'm a happy. Well, I mean, everyone before you said the same thing, but you are the one who gets the double pass. Yeah, she's, yeah, I can feel it through the phone line.

Ash is a true little monster. Were you there in 2014 the last time she was in Australia? Yeah, I would have, actually, I went and saw her when she toured with the pussycowls. Oh, God. You have been there from the beginning. Wow, well, I'm glad you won these tickets. You're going on our dollar to see Lady Gaga. Well done.

Thank you. Congratulations. Tomorrow's our last edition of this, guys. That's right. Shy Guy, for some reason, only got us four double passes and not five. He forgot. We don't do the four-day work week like the salespeople. We do a five-dayer.

It's our power down on Friday. It's back on tomorrow. Be listening. Jess and Ducko. It's been a great show today, team. If you missed any of it, grab it on listener or wherever you get your podcasts. Hell yeah. Thank you for bearing with me.

team as I broadcast from a little hotel room here in Sydney. I emceated a thing last night and didn't want to drive back at 11 p.m. No, you don't want to do that. I hope it's been okay. It's been great, you know. Wonderful. It's been nice. It sounded pretty good.

You know, the hotel rooms. We've watched you go. We've watched you go. We've watched you go to the bathroom. So we've watched you go to the toilet about five times. I'll watch you make a coffee. It's been quite into, it's like the Truman Show. We're like watching her.

Oh, my God. Absolutely. Hey, man, big brother. This is Big Brother. Yes. Don't worry about watching it on 10. or 10 play, you can just stream into my hotel. Scream on Jess's Jitzy.

That's the site we're using to get onto it. Shark I found. We're too poor to pay for. The only one that doesn't say after 40 minutes. Now pay for premium. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We thank Jitzy for keeping us on air and looking at each other. To moving live reads for Jitzy.

Hey, speaking of being pov, though, we're not Pob with money. We've got Alphibbux tomorrow. Your chance at 10K, 7 and 8. We've got Lady Gaga tickets back for that one second song. last crack tomorrow. Absolutely. And we're also going to invite someone on the show, someone who was a pivotal member of our team a couple of years ago.

A fallen member. A fallen member of the team who made one of the most outrageous claims of a special skill, an unbelievable talent she thinks she has. She's going to join us so we can test it live on the air with some rice cookers. So join us from six. I'm looking forward to that because I know her. I know this is all BS. She will not be able to.

I reckon she'll get one right. She is willing to put her money where her mouth is And I cannot wait It's going to be great You have a safe drive back So good luck with your event today Thank you got another little gig emceeing today

So that's what the ironing was all about But I appreciate that Better get on the road Better on the frog and tired, eh Get yourself going You take it easy I know you had a couple of bites of a weece bar At about 740 this morning

You know it's good about the weeces My guts are fine You know Because it's basically fruit It's really fruitish. It's real fruit of show, I said today. It's the box says. That's what the box says.

We're out of here. We will see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Bye-bye. Bye. Let me lick. Jess and ducco. That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new macher range is here at McCaffee.