Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Life is good

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

We find out if there's a case to be made after an incident involving a but plug and an MRI machine, Jess spends more time juggling then with her daughter, Ducko had a problem with his family group chat and Producer Shy Guy wraps up the week that was in his diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply. Jess and Duggo. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi everyone, welcome to the podcast. Goodness gracious, what a show you're in for today. Hell yeah, it was big.

It was big. It was a good show, it was fun. It was. Good Friday vibe, good energy. 100%. But what we're doing in the podcast all this week is beta testing games. Yep. That we would like to, well, potentially bring onto the show.

One success, one fails, you would have heard over the last two days of podcasts. Absolutely. We are always open to your feedback, your opinion, or your suggestions. Please slide into the DMs, Jess and Ducker on Instagram. What game should we test today? I'm calling it The List. Oh, The List. I'm going to give you a category.

The List. You're going to give you a category. The list. And then you're going to tell me how many items in that category you can name. And then either you, Ducca, or you, Jess, will one up each time. Okay. As in we bid on it. So you go like a number of cars. I go, I reckon I could say 15 brands of cars. I reckon I could do 18.

Okay. You go then. Oh, so then if you go fine. So if you don't think you can do more than 18, you say, okay, you do it. Okay. Okay. And then I have what? Time on the clock?

I don't think you just do it until there's too long of a gap between. Oh, so it has to rattle. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's beta test, shall we? Do you reckon that should be a timer? I feel like we need to have some constraints in it because otherwise it could just go on forever.

However, this is what we're doing with this segment. I can get the... What's that? 30. That's the alpha box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we just try that? It depends on how many things you can name, though.

Yeah, yeah. I don't think a timer's... We'll probably only need... But I mean, if we're getting into the territory of saying 60 or 65 or something... I also like the idea that the timer makes it more intense. You know what I mean? So do I. I think it constricts the amount.

But I get it. If we've only said, like, four, I guess 30 seconds is too long. It doesn't matter. Yeah, but also, like, I just... But maybe a timer... We can just have it there, and if you take too long, it's just like... Totally, totally. Let's try it with a timer.

We'll try it with a timer. All right. What's the category? Shy guy. Islands. Oh. Oh, God. I reckon I could name four islands, Ducco.

I reckon I can do five. All right, I reckon I can do seven. I don't think I can do more than seven. Crap, okay. I don't think I can. I was pushing it at five. Okay. You're going for seven?

I'm going to go for seven. Okay, well, when you're ready. Christmas Island, Easter Island, Daydream Island, Hamilton Island. Yes. Australia. Oh, good. Yeah, fair. Is that five?

That's five. Yeah, see, that's right. Maybe you're right. Maybe we don't need the timer. I don't think we need the timer. Maybe we don't need the timer. Maybe we just let you roll. I don't think we'll be. Maybe we don't need the timer. Maybe we just let you roll. I don't think we need it.

We'll have the bed underneath playing in the background, whatever that may be. It's almost like we need the timer if it's going to be a really big category. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we're getting into 30s or whatever. Like if I said colors. Let's just pretend this is a- Yeah, if you said colors, gosh.

Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think of a bed that we can use from one of our past. Just pretend that we have it there. Yeah. Just for namesake. But I like the idea. So you didn't get that, so you would lose. Absolutely.

And then do we, is it best of like three maybe? I think we can do a best of three. Yeah. Because I think it'll go pretty quick. Absolutely, yeah. I'm trying to think of like a fun opener we can have. What the hell other islands are there? I know, yeah.

It's a tough one. It is a tough one, yeah. I was trying to draw on my Alphabucks knowledge. Lord Howe Island. Oh, my God. Badara Island and Eliza Island where I had my freaking honeymoon. How embarrassing. Quiz with a twist opener?

This works. Okay. Islands. Okay. That was us. So Jess fails and I got a point by doing nothing. Oh, I love that. Yeah, okay.

Good. Okay. All right. Next category. Brands of... Chocolate. Brands of chocolate. Okay.

I reckon... I can only think of two right now. I know. I can only think of the big couple. Because, like, I suppose three. I can definitely do three. Three. Like, four.

Maybe. Maybe. Because there's not many brands. I can think of chocolates. How about chocolate bars? Oh. Oh. I hate it.

I should have done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chocolate bars. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's all in the quest. Chocolate bars. Ten. Eleven's what you should have done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chocolate bars. Okay, yeah, yeah. It's all in the quest. Chocolate bars. 10.

11. 12. Do it. You kind of don't want to be the one to do it. Here we go. Okay. 12, Ducco. Kit Kat, Chunky, Mars Bar, Snickers.

What are you? Burano? Boyno Bar. Boyno Bar. Don't help it. I'll give him that. Kit Kat, Chunky, Bruin, Bruin, Bruin. Buoy-no-bar. Buoy-no-bar. Don't help it. I'll give him that. Kit Kat, Chunky, Muzzle, Muzzle, Stickers, Buoy-no. See, now it's feeling, just pause, now it's feeling we need the time and territory, doesn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, keep going. I'm just trying to go through the candy aisle. And now I think you're out of time. Twix. Twix. I can only do six. I think you're halfway there.

So then, okay, does then Jess get the point? Right, okay. So now you're one apiece. Should we flip this? The other person gets the right of reply, and you just have to beat what the other one did. Oh, but then you're going to say the same stuff. Exactly.

Yeah, you can't do that, can you? On Family Feud, when this happens, and the other family bails out, the other family only has to name one that hasn't been mentioned. Oh, that's not bad. Do we like that? Otherwise, it's zero points. So I've just said six things.

So you've six. What you didn't say was Milky Way. Oh, Milky Way. So now I can get the points. Yeah, I like that. Let's do that. That's a good idea. So if you had come back with islands, if you'd come back with...

Lizard Island. Lizard Island. Bang. You could have got the points. Whereas if I didn't say nothing, no one gets the points. I like that. That's better. That's cleaner.

Let's get great. So no points unless someone gets... Okay. Yeah, cool. That wasn't gets a point. I like that. That's better. That's cleaner. Let's get great. So no points unless someone gets. Okay. Yeah, cool. That wasn't said. Yep. I like that. But again, see.

Do you reckon the timer? I don't know. The timer adds another dimension to it, doesn't it? There was just an element there where it felt like you. A bit naked. It felt naked. Yeah. It felt like you had free reign.

Maybe we can incorporate some sort of timer into the music under us. Yeah. No, I reckon a separate timer to do it's all right. But for the sake of today, I'll just use the Alphax timer. So let's do one more now. One more. One more fully polished. We know what we're doing.

Yeah. Car brands. Ooh, I reckon I could do eight. Yeah, I don't think I can do much more than nine. Do it. Okay. Okay. Suzuki, Ford, Mazda, Mitsubishi, Volkswagen, Hyundai, Tesla, Cherry, Tesla...

How many did I get? So you got eight. So all I need to say is Land Rover. Up. So you almost don't want to be the person who does the thing. I know. You've really got to back yourself up. You almost want to come in conservative.

But you were so close. Oh, man. I was on a roll there. You were. Land Rover. The fact you got Cherry in there, Closters will be very proud of you. Thank you so much. I said Hyundai, didn't I?

You said Hyundai. You could have said Nissan, maybe. Nissan. Anyway. I didn't say Toyota. You didn't say Toyota. How did I not say Toyota? Where your brain goes. I didn't say Toyota. You didn't say Toyota. How did I not say Toyota? Where your brain goes.

I don't mind that game. I like that. Yeah, I don't mind that game. So it's the bidding. The bidding. It's the best of three. Some sort of timer situation. And it's the other person has to swoop in with one from the category that hasn't been said to get the point.

Otherwise, it's null and void. And maybe we do a 20-second timer. Yes, yes. Something like that. Something like that. Yeah, yeah, great. Fantastic team. Good stuff.

See you next week. What did you say it was called? The List. The List. The List. On Listener. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Friday, team.

We're here. We did it. We made it. Lights, camera, action. Let's go for a Friday, team. We're here. We did it. We made it. Lights, camera, action. Let's go for a Friday, baby. Lol, camera on radio. We have cameras in the studio, I guess.

Lights, camera, action. Lights, camera. What should it be? Lights, microphones, action. Did you write that script, Shai? Was that an AI? No, that's from the song. No, sorry, the whole part of it, though. Big Vibes in 25.

No, I boss wrote that. Ah, that feels like him. It Oh, no, sorry. The whole part of it, though. Big vibes in 25. No, I boss wrote that. Ah, that feels like him. It does scream Jason, doesn't it? I was wondering who that was. Yes. And Kylie, obviously. Obviously Kylie. Huge Kylie fans in this room.

Now, it's very windy where we are, so you know, I nearly got a bin knocked on my ute this morning. Oh, well, we can't be having that. But it hit another guy's ute in front of me from the garbage. You know those big, like, industrial bins? Yes, yes. The one that office buildings have or whatever. The garbage was clearing them, and the wind came so much. They lost control of it, and it hit this guy's ute in front of me.

And because once they've emptied it, there's nothing weighing it down. It was just light. Yeah, it was flying around. It's basically a parachute. It really is. If you've got that thing on the right angle. Yeah. Scary stuff.

That is scary stuff. Luckily, I was fine. I just stayed back and I just waited for the debris to be cleared. Yeah, fair. Let me come through. Thank you. I think I told you yesterday, we've got a lovely lady on our street who likes to photograph cars

who don't stop at the stop signs. What a psycho. She was out yesterday morning. I think I came in being like, how's my neighbour who's out there? I drove past her house again today and she's got all these trees down. I think maybe she was photographing the debris. So I want to take that back for bitching about her yesterday. She's not a psycho.

She still does it. She's a good Samaritan. She still does it. She's that person in the street. You need those. She's that person in the street other times. She's the person who knows when the yellow bean goes and when the green bean goes. She is set in the tone.

She weeds a lot. I thought you said weeds. No, no. Weeds along the whole street. Not just her front yard. She's not a cyclist. She's a great person. I take everything back.

How dare you, Jess? She goes along to the park and weeds. Oh. Yeah. But then she also photographs cars who don't stop at stop signs. She must be bored. Two sides of the same coin dugout. When do you get to that point in life where you're like, nothing else, dude, I'm just

going to weed the street. I'm going to weed the whole street. Like, I see her literally blocks and blocks from her house with a wagon and a little trowel. I know, it's pretty amazing. There's no other half? A tree came. I've never seen one. Maybe he stays inside or she stays inside.

There is a dog. An elderly dog. Okay. Oh, it's cute inside. There is a dog, an elderly dog. It's cute when you see an elderly person with an elderly dog. Oh, I know. But then all I hope is that they go together. I know. Because if one goes before the other, what happens? I know.

What's the saddest situation? The elderly person going for the dog or the elderly dog going for the person? The human needs to go first. It has to. Oh, sorry, sorry. The dog needs to go first. Oh, that was the other way around. Because those videos and photos you see of the dog who has escaped the house

and is lying on the owner's gravesite because they smelt them all the way to the cemetery. I can't deal with that. Oh, that's so sad. The dog needs to go first. It's too sad. Johnny would be eating your gravesite. Good.

I hope he, if I go first, I hope he eats me. Yeah. You know? We can arrange that. Angus might be on a work trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doesn't know what's happened. Yeah.

I don't want Gianni to starve. We can get you down to like diced meat, like, you know, mince and we can get Gianni. I love that. We can all come and we can have the sitting of Gianni eating you. That's lovely. And we'll all sit down and watch. That's lovely. And cheers drinks and stuff.

That's really nice. Some people get cremated. Oh, absolutely. Some people get turned into compost. I would like to get turned into dog food. Just what you love. How you've always wanted to go. We can arrange that.

Thank you. I appreciate that. Hey, it's a big Friday show. Of course, our usual is Alpha Bucks. Your chance at 10K, 6.30 and 8. But Forgotten Friday bangers back for a Friday. That's right. There's a poll on the Jess and Ducko Instagram story.

Still time to vote. It's a lands on the Jess and Ducko Instagram story. Still time to vote. It's a landslide, isn't it? Is it? I think it is. Lost on my check. There was one of us that was punching. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it yours? No, it's not mine. Oh. It's Babs'. I believe. Which one is it? Faker. What's Faker?

I don't even know that song. Anyway, still time to vote. It's forgotten. You don't know it. This heart attack. It is a landslide. This heart attack. Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that is know that song. Anyway, still time to vote. It's forgotten. You don't know it. This Heart Attack. It is a landslide. This Heart Attack. Oh, that one.

Oh, that is a good song. But there's an hour to go. You never know. Go vote. Show our guys Diary on the show. How was the Diary day yesterday for you two? Yeah, always great. You had a coffee or milkshake?

Yeah, I got a chai latte. It's weird seeing you drink chai lattes. It's an odd new thing for you. I've done it all year. Well, it's only a couple of days in. Okay, all of last year. Did he have chai lattes last year, Babs? Yeah, he did.

Or a smoothie. He doesn't tell us anything. I suppose we don't go to breakfast a lot with him. He's a closed book. What am I meant to say? You can get chai lattes here in the office, coffee machine. No, I don't. It has to be made by a barista.

Okay. I'm not a barista. Oh, you're a barista pronunciator. What are you supposed to say? Oh, I say barista. Barista. You're barista, you fancy bugger. Well, faux and far.

Faux and far. You're so right. That's a deep cut. That is a deep cut. I was like, what? Oh, yeah, we said that on the show this week. Keen listeners would have got that. We're also drawing our call of fame today.

So you've got a couple of opportunities to get involved. It's that night stay in Sydney plus tickets to the aquarium and the zoo. Oh, yeah. Pretty good. But up next, jeez, it's back for another year. No dumb thoughts Friday. Absolutely. We love this.

They say there's no such thing as a stupid question. Well, here at Jess and Ducko HQ, there's no such thing as a dumb thought. Never. You can get involved. Yep. 13, 10, 16. Call in with one or you can text the text line if you're feeling embarrassed. 04-888-1069.

Absolutely. This is things like, what do fish do because they have no hands? It's that vibe. And do you reckon they get sad about that? And do insects make a sound when you squish them? I still think they do. Are we just missing all the tiny owls when you squish a fly? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They say there's no such thing as a dumb question. What about all those thoughts I've had? Yeah. I've had nowhere to share them. Nowhere.

Until now. Safe space. You can always text in 048881069 if you've got one, or 131060 if you're brave enough to share. That's right. Ducko, you've had a lot of time to think. I've had a lot of time to think. Over our professional development.

Yep. How many dumb thoughts have you had? I've had a couple. I've certainly got a couple written down. But what I wanted to share is summer-related, because I saw a few kids on leads over summer. You know when you see a kid on a lead at a shopping centre? And I realised like at first I used to really –

The toddler backpack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That has the long leash. The monkey or the long lead. The monkey. Yeah, yeah. I used to judge those parents a bit. So did I, brother.

Yeah, and now I'm like, you know what? That's actually pretty genius. It is so genius. I was the exact same. Now I've got a runner already. Oh, yes. And I'm seeing it. Imagine having, I would tie it around to my waist like it was Pam,

like it was the dog. I see you. I'm projecting maybe two years into the future, one dog on leash, one kid on leash, and you just jogging along having a great time. I want to know why can't we normalise putting our friends on leads, like our running friends, like our friends that, you know, have can't we normalise putting our friends on leads, like our running friends? Like our friends that, you know, have a few drinks and they vanish. Or you go to a festival and they disappear.

You're my running friend because you run. Oh, no, no. I mean like the friends who run away after a few beers. Like I was at an event. I don't have any friends who take off when they're drinking. Oh, I do. And then you can't find them and they can't find you. And then you're just like, how did this happen?

And they've probably lost their phone. Everyone has a friend that could just be popped on a lead. Oh, I love that. What you want to see is the toddler monkey backpack for adults. For adults. This is screaming Teemu to me. 100%. We're going to need to, I literally just got a request from Shop Teemu to partner on a

collaboration. I was like, no, thank you. Maybe I do go back. Don't do that. We could spin the wheel. I think we could spin the wheel. I don't know what that is. I would love to be requested to do so at Timo because it's so dodgy.

I'll send them your way. It's so dodgy. What do they want to do? They just literally said, it feels very AI, hey, Jess Bacchioni, we love your content. We think you'd be a great fit for an upcoming campaign. Are you open to working together? Hilarious.

Do you receive competitive pay? I'll send them your way, Ducker. Competitive pay? You can desire it. I get the same message. Hey'll receive competitive pay. I'll send them your way, Ducker. Competitive pay? You can design. I get the same message. Hey, Jess Fartioni, we love your content. I'm like, yeah, let's do it. You can design the adult backpack.

I just ordered my mate's gimsuit for his box off Timu. Has it arrived? It arrived from America. How's the quality? Oh, it's gone to my friend because it's in Queensland. Oh, sure, sure. Hopefully it's okay. Hopefully it's okay.

The worse, the better. I can't wait to see it. Anyway, adult leads. That's a great thought. For me, Ducco, I had a lot of dinners out over the break, and this is the dumb thought that came to me when a girlfriend and I were ordering wine. It was at the start of the meal,

and she's ordered a glass of Shiraz. You know, it sounded like a nice drop. It wasn't cheap. It was about a $15 glass. You know, that's not bad. I ordered a glass of Grunewald Liner. Now, it's a bit of a weird white grape, but I was like, I know that grape. I reckon that would be interesting.

And he hit me with a, ooh, excellent choice, man. Didn't hit my friend with excellent choice. Hit me with excellent choice. And in that moment, I wondered, what's preceded us sitting down? He had sat us down she'd already asked for for something she'd already not complained but the table was wobbly so she'd already addressed that right she'd already been a little bit I'm gonna say annoying yeah yeah yeah and he didn't hit her with an excellent choice but hit me with one and I

wondered do waiters just try and get one up on you? Bit of a power move. Try to be like, I can't say anything directly to you because you're the customer. But I'm going to compliment her one choice and not yours. I'm going to compliment the other person. Yes, absolutely. In a job like that where it can be very mundane, maybe very stressful, very annoying. And you deal with pricks. You're dealing with pricks. Yeah, yeah.

And Karen's left, right and centre. Do you just have to get your kicks? I'd say 100%. Some which way. 100%. Yeah. So you just have to get your kicks some rich way? 100%. So you think it was a deliberate thing from him? I think it was a deliberate. Did she say anything when he left?

Well, yeah, when she left, she was like, oh, is mine not? Like, he should have given me a better recommendation. I went, no, no, I'm just a better picker of wine. Thank you. I've had a text in. No name, though. And we always love names attached to things, but you can always text in. Hey, guys, ever wondered what sheep think when they're just pottering around in the paddock?

Absolutely, I do. Sheep and cows, same level for me. Sheep and cows. Any of those grazing creatures that are just stuck in a field. Even the horses, you see, they're just like on farmland. What's going through their minds? What is happening? Are they happy?

Are they enjoying themselves? I always think that. Are they enjoying themselves? Particularly in this sort of inclement weather. And they're just, they're all, a hundred sheep standing under the one tree. Are they spooning? They're obviously mostly getting wet. Do sheep spoon?

I think they huddle. Do they huddle? Like the young ones would get in the middle to keep them warm and protected. It's like when you see a horse lie down. There's nothing more interesting than seeing a horse lie down. Oh, how do they get back up? I just, you know, really. It's like watching Shy Guy get horse lie down. There's nothing more interesting than seeing a horse lie down. Oh, how do they get back up? I just, you know, really. Really?

It's like watching Shy Guy get back up. Just long limbs everywhere. Long limbs everywhere. Shy Guy, do you want to finish us off with one, mate? Yeah. Do straws have one hole or two? Oh. One of the age-old debates.

Yeah. It's a tricky one. I think it's one hole. I think it's one. Yeah. I think it has to be one hole. So are you saying like a tunnel, that's one hole? Yeah.

See, interesting. I'd say a tunnel's got two holes. Oh, see, because I think an opening and an exit, that's two. Yeah. And the same is with a straw. They've got to dig in and out of a tunnel. I suppose the straw's the same thing. It's the same thing.

If the tunnel had like exits, then I guess you could say it's multiple. But if it's one tunnel with just one. Like on the freeway. Yeah, if it's like the North Connect. There's multiple holes. Yeah, that's one tunnel with just... Like on the freeway. Yeah, if it's like the North Connect. There's multiple holes. Yeah, that's one. Yeah, okay. I think it's two.

Yeah, maybe it is two. The tunnel analogy's got me there. Yeah, and entrance and an exit. It's like saying you've only got one hole because you've got a mouth and an anus. That's two holes. It's not one hole. It's all connected by pipes.

And I've got nose holes and ears holes. Well, that's exactly... I meant that one tunnel. Oh, sorry. Would be like a straw. It's all connected by pipes. And I've got nose holes and ears holes. Well, that's exactly. I meant that one tunnel. Oh, sorry. Would be like a straw. Could you imagine if it all passed through? I mean, it does technically. It does technically. But like one big, like.

One big. There's a process involved. Yeah, there is a process. Like I'm talking straight away. Yeah. Oh, I appreciate like the intestine is attaching to the stomach, which attaches to the esophagus. But it's all one pipe. I mean, imagine it's just one straw.

One straw. Like those, you know, those piano accordion straws. So you can's all one pipe. Imagine it was just one straw. One straw. Like those piano accordion straws that you can make it a little bit longer and then bend. Yes. That's us. But I think that's multiple holes. I think that's multiple holer. Yeah.

Okay. So we're saying two holes. I think two holes. Great chat today, too. Babs is shaking her head. That's not dumb at all. We went around the world. That's the most smartest thing we've done all week.

Up next, butt plug. Jess and Ducco. Got some legal matters to process here, Jess. That's right, that's right. Court in session. Okay, so let's run you through the story quickly, then we'll get our lawyer on to discuss if we have a case here. Well, if the 23-year-old unnamed woman in America has a case.

Went in for an MRI. We discussed this story earlier yesterday morning, okay? Went in for an MRI, had a full butt plug in her when she did the MRI. Not a half butt plug. Full one. All the way in there. Don't know why. I think it was a kink.

They said to her, as they always do with an MRI, do you have any metal on you? Please remove it because we know MRIs use magnets to take that photo of your insides. So she goes, yes, I've taken out my earrings and I've taken my bracelet off. Everything's done. All good. This is advertised as 100% silicon.

That's in me. So I didn't take that. I'm not going to tell them because why would I tell them? Here's a key area I think our lawyer needs to know. She didn't disclose she had the butt plug in her. She just went, well, I don't have metal on me because that is silicon. All they've asked, Echo, is metal. That's true.

They didn't say they have used the word metal, so she went wide wanting to tell them it's not metal. She then got the MRI. As it starts whirling away and the magnets sucked and everything like that, the butt plug went straight up at the speed of sound. It pulled through her rectum into her chest cavity. I call it a chest cavity. Sorry.

It pulled through right into the chest cavity, leaving her with major, major traumatic injuries. If it was going to pull through you, you'd hope it would pull out, but it didn't. It pulled in. I think it went to where the magnets were. Oh, so it went up. It went up to where it was going, where it was concentrated.

And it didn't just go like, woo, a journey through her intestine. No, it didn't have fun. It wasn't the magic school bus riding through a human body. It went as the crow flies. Yeah, it did. Exactly. It went the most direct route. So it would have been puncturing everything in its path.

You know what I think? Before we get to our lawyer here, which we didn't cover yesterday, but imagine sitting down with your parents and being like, so there's been an incident. So I wore a butt plug to my MRI. I don't know if you could be sitting down for that conversation. They're like, why did you wear a butt plug? Like, mum, just shut up, okay? That's not the point.

The point is it was silicon. It was meant to be silicon. But anyway, the cause of my headaches is dehydration. I didn't actually find anything in the MRI. But what we want to know, because the final line of that story is, she is suing the butt plug people for lying on the packaging. There was some small metal component that they did not disclose, and thus she's been left with these horrific, and I'm assuming life-altering injuries.

It was advertised as 100% silicon. There was a bit of metal in it. And I love the idea that she maybe knew about the metal thing prior, so really read the packaging and went, I can wear this to my appointment tomorrow. Should I do it? Yeah, let's do it. Because who knows off the top of their head, things like that.

Exactly. But the question is, does she actually have a case? We go to Steph. She is our lawyer, and she very kindly has woken up at the crack of dawn to address the legal ramifications of the butt plug story. Steph, a good morning to you.

A very good morning to you both. Steph, court is in session. Court is in session. Does anonymous butt plug lady have a case against the butt plug manufacturers? Look, I didn't want to start off with a pun, but I think she could get up. Yes, she could get up. She could get up here.

All right, Steph, is it false advertising? I think it's false advertising, guys. In Australia, we have some wonderful laws to protect us friendly folk from being dodged into buying things that aren't what they are. And I think she has been misled or deceived. Interesting. Misled or deceived.

And there's nothing in the fine print about not wearing a butt plug in an MRI, I suppose. Well, and as you say, Ducco, is there any metal on me? There was no metal on her. It might have been in her. Oh, that's another. I didn't think about that loophole. So, Steph, does she also potentially have a case against the MRI people slash hospital? I would be bringing this against the doctors.

Go all out. You know, our friends in the state love her. They love her lawsuit because medical bills are so expensive. Yes, they're so expensive over there. It said she was properly screened and she did not disclose that she had a butt plug inserted in her to the medical staff. Oh, I mean, what does that mean? Would that affect the case in any way, Steph?

Very grey. Very grey, Ducco. I reckon she's just giving it a crack. Okay. So we're going against the Butt Plug Limited, P-T-Y-L-T-D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Butt plugs are us. And the hospital.

Plug and patch. Plugs and things. Double action. So, Steph, how much do you think, it's tough to answer, but how much do you think roughly you could go for? If you were her lawyer, Steph, what would you be asking for? Oh, my gosh. Well, it moved at the speed of sound, according to the article.

I don't know how true that would be. Damaged major blood vessels, nerves, organs. It's traumatic injuries. She'll never be the same. It sounds horrific. And, I mean, I'm not a specialist in this area, nor an American lawyer, but I reckon she could be getting millions if she can get through this.

Okay. This hurdle. Because even, Steph, if law and order serves me correctly, emotional damage. Like, she'll never be able to look at a butt plug. The distress. She'll never be able to look at a butt plug the same. What's that word to her?

The same, yeah. She'll never be able to go outside. You've got to replug after this. After an incident, you've got to get back on the plug. When you get knocked off the horse. Oh, always replug, you know. Well, Steph, this has been enlightening. Go forth into your MRIs and you have a case if you need this.

But also, is it worth the damage? But, Steph, thank you for your time. Thank you very much. No problem, guys. We appreciate it. Yeah, I think we're going to keep Steph on the roster. Yeah, Steph, you're on it. Oh, are you a no-win-no-fee kind of lawyer?

No, I'll be sending my head. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

Of course, we come back to you if there is time. We're playing for 10k. Today we go to Sarah. Good morning, Sarah. Morning, guys. Sarah, are you going to take this 10 grand off us or what? Look, it's either going to be 10 grand in the hand or a nudie run.

Oh, we love that. That's a good day either way for us. Yes. Okay. No halving in this one. She's all or nothing. I's all or nothing, Sarah. All or nothing, mate. If you do win the $10,000, what would you like to spend it on? I want to do a big bedroom makeover.

Jess, I know you would be with me here. Bedroom. Got to have the comfiness. Yes. Got to be the domain that you just want to live your life. Absolutely. 25 pillows on that bed. 100% upgrade that mattress.

Get a couple of nice throws. Get a king-size bed. And then get a super king doona so it really covers and looks luxurious. Oh, Sarah, we're here for it. The letter that you're going to work with. Don't freak out when you hear it. What's she got? She's got you.

No. No, no, you do. Yeah, you. You got you. There's not actually that one. No, no, you do. Yeah, you. You got you. There's not actually that many. No, I don't want that one. I know. There's not actually that many words.

Well, we can't show her, guys. She doesn't want it. There's not a lot we can do. We've never had someone say no. I don't accept it. I'll take next. There's not that many words that start with you, Sarah. You've got them.

You've got 10 in your head. I know you do. All right. Well, here comes the nudie right now. I'll get it. Okay. Get ready. Start unbuckling your pants now, Sarah. know you do. All right. Well, here comes the nudie right. Okay. Okay. Get ready. Start unbuckling your pants now.

Yeah, yeah. Get ready. Your time. We'll start after the first question. Let's go. Starting with the letter U, we need you to name an instrument. Pass. A song.

You got it bad. A brand. Pass. A mystical creature. Unicorn. A brand. Pass. A mystical creature. Unicorn. A clothing item. Underwear. A country.

Uruguay. A planet. Uranus. A sports league. Pass. A girl's name. Pass. A kid's movie.

Pass. An instrument. We ran out of time. A kid's movie. An instrument. We ran out of time. Hey, it wasn't a nudie. You almost got half. You got yourself four. Four feels good. Four feels good.

I'm not sure about the song, You Got It Bad. It might be spelled with a U instead of like the Y-O-U. Some of those cheap yachters. Oh, it is Usher. Oh, Babs knew that one. It's Usher. Oh, okay. Sarah knew. Sarah's as knew that was. It's Usher. Oh, okay. Sarah knew. Sarah's a big Usher fan.

Okay, there you go. My apologies, but you got half. 50% of the effort, Sarah. An instrument could have been ukulele. A brand could have been Uber or UGG. Sports League, UFC, a girl's name, Uma. And a kid's movie could have been Up. I love Up.

Yes, you love every kid's movie. Hey, Sarah. Sarah, this is still good for the bedroom. You don't go away with your hand. $100 suspended minx erotic boutique. That's all yours. Not exactly a comfy bed, but I'll take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's comfy on the bed, though. That's Aime. Don't wear it in an MRI. Don't wear it in an MRI, Sarah. Sarah's been paying attention. Good listening. Good girl. Thanks for joining the show, Sarah.

Thanks, guys. Thank you. We've done before what's the smelliest smell you've ever smelled. That's right. But I wanted to do what is the best smell in the world. All right. What have you smelled recently that you thought, I need to take a temperature check with the cookers?

My dog's ears. Pam's ears. I don't mind. Oh, the smell of a dog's ears. Pam's ears. I don't mind. I don't mind. Oh, the smell of a dog's ears. And if you've never smelled them before, you'll think I'm a weirdo. But if you have, the smell of the ears of a dog. Can I add another part of the dog?

Paws. The paws. Paws are great. They smell like Doritos. What is with that? Yeah, there's something. What is with that? I don't know what's with that.

Yeah. I prefer that, though, to opening a bag of Doritos and sticking my face in. Agreed. I'll give, you know, Gianni doesn't take much to tire him out, so we'll lie there on the bed for most of the day, go in for a cuddle and then just wiggle myself down and sniff his paws. He must think I'm such a psycho. Yeah, absolutely.

I wonder if on dog radio, you know how we'll talk about foot fetishes? Yeah, on the Dog FM. On Dog FM, are they like, is your human obsessed with your feet? Yeah, yeah. Does your human have a foot for the issue? Watch the human loving my feet and sniffing them. As long as they keep feeding me, it's all good. It's all good.

Sniff away, master. Yeah, I sniffed her ear and Morgan was like, what are you doing? I was like, Pam's ears smell so good. I love the smell of her ears. I think it could be the best smell in the world. Are we smelling dog earwax, but we like it? Something about it smells nice. Yeah, I'm with you.

And then she said, okay, that's weird. I think coffee is one of the better smells, but if you like pan tears. I mean, coffee is a good smell. I'm not denying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, Ducko, I feel like I may have brought this up before. Valet to my Nana Borg. Oh, Nana.

But I used to like the smell of old ladies. You did. You have brought it up. And I don't know if it's potpourri or it's whatever deodorant. I dislike that smell. Or the old ladies. It might be imperial leather. Yeah, it could be.

That soap. You know, that one that has the little stamp on it. You can just smell the whiskers coming off there. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's nostalgia. It's tapping into something primal.

But I really like that smell. The smell of old ladies. When that old lady dumped me, you know, the one I used to look after. You used to take her shopping. I used to take her shopping. I used to take her shopping. Yeah, and she hated you. Oh, my God. Maybe that's why she dumped me, because I kept taking too deep of breaths when she was around.

She freaked her out. That did not last, did it? Yeah. She just got rid of you so quick. 97-year-old Peggy. I've heard from her since. She's still kicking it. She just got someone else.

She did. She got rid of you. Shy Guy, do you have a smell? Yeah, grass clippings. Yeah, grass clippings. It's fantastic. Do you love to use just mowed? Yeah, fresh mowed.

That does get me going. I see Shy Guy there, shirtless, with a big brim hat on. Oh, yeah. The wide brim. Oh, yeah. Just going back and forth with the mower. I did this. Yeah.

Taking a deep breath in. It's like the smell of rain. And we've established not everyone can smell that smell. That's right. Not everyone can. But the smell of rain coming is fantastic. I can't smell that. Babs will have something whack. Yeah, what is Babs going to have? No, I just But the smell of rain coming is fantastic. I can't smell that. Babs will have something whack.

Yeah. What's Babs going to have? No, I just like the smell of books. Yeah. Like when you walk into a bookstore. Yeah, a new book. Smelling a fresh book. Yeah.

Your Kindle can't give you that, can it? No. It really can't. Yeah, a new book is good. I don't mind when I go for a hair appointment and you open the door to the salon and you get punched in the face with that combination of hairspray and heat protectant and shampoo, all those aromas. You get everything going. I really like that.

It really gets me in the zone for pampering. Oh, yeah. The smell has to take you somewhere. You know what I mean? That's what I think it is. Yes, it takes me into this place of luxury. Yeah, like grass clippings reminds me of playing footy in summer or something like that.

It reminds me of that kind of vibe. Pretty sure they say smell is the sense most closely linked to memory. More than like visual stimulation. Yeah, right. Smell is the one that will take you back to a time and place. So 13, 10, 60. What's the best smell in the world? What's the best smell?

I was trying to think of a cool way to say it because we had smelliest smell you've ever smelled. Yeah. But that's the best. Because smelliest infers negative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want the nicest smelliest smell. The nicest smelliest smell you've ever smelled. Yeah. But that's, you know, the best, you know. Because smelliest infers negative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want the nicest smelliest smell. The nicest smelliest smell you've ever smelled. Exactly.

Call a fame prize up for grabs. Give us a call. We'll get you on there. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We're asking for the best smell in the world. I know. You found yourself taking a deep whiff of your dog's ears yesterday.

I love sniffing Pam's ears. And Morgan's like, what are you doing? I was like, come take a sniff. Did she have a sniff? Yeah. Did she understand? She didn't mind it. I think she couldn't get past the ear thing.

And then the paws smell like Doritos. They smell great. The paw is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even mind his breath. But now are we getting into just because I love him? Maybe. Possibly.

But I think dog ears and dog paws are known and people actually enjoy those universally. Absolutely. Let's go to Henry. Henry, what's your nomination for the best smell you've ever smelled? It's a bit outrageous, but I really like grease, like kitchen grease. I'm a handyman by trade and you unblock the kitchen sink and the smell of just fresh, well, not fresh, but grease. It's just something else. I love it. Grease.

I guess it's the opposite of fresh if it's been trapped in a pipe for a while. I love that association of your handyman by trade by, like, getting the job done. Yeah. It's clear. The feeling of completion. Yeah. Of achievement.

Yeah. Kitchen grease. Are you just waffling that in, Henry? Are you just sniffing it? Yeah. I love it that much. Like, we always have rags, like, around. You need to clean up site after you sort of unblock a sink.

I love it that much. I sort of, the boys think I'm quite weird for doing it, but I rub rags in it. Oh, my God. So you can smell the rag. Just take with me and smell. So you're driving home, like, a little souvenir from the job. I did my job so well today. That is weird.

I guess that is essentially what perfume is. You're bottling up a fragrance you like. True. Henry's just cut out the middleman. And sometimes I'll forget that I have like a grease rag. Yes. Have we lost Henry? Have we lost him?

I want to know what happens when he forgets. Is he taking a really long pause for dramatic effects? He's taking a deep breath in of his rag. And that's my punchline. He should make his own fragrance like Greaser by Henry. Oh, I like that. I like that. Michelle, good morning to you.

Hey, hey guys. Yeah, we're fantastic. We're talking about the best smell you've ever smelt. Oh, it'd have to be warm cinnamon donuts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is there a store in particular that gets you going? When we go to the snow and we're finished after a long day and we're freezing cold,

we just get those donuts and sit in the car and, oh, they're the best ever. They are good. Cinnamon donuts are. The OGs, aren't they? Warm cinnamon donuts. They are nice. Like donuts are. The OGs, aren't they? A warm cinnamon donut. They are nice. Like eating a cloud. Yes.

Jodie on 131060, what is the best smell? Jodie? I think it's bleach. Oh, Jodie. Jodie. Jodie, that's getting into burn the nose hair territory. Do you work with bleach? I know.

I know. There's nothing better than cleaning your house. I have special bleach clothes. I clean the house, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry. Then I go out. I have a shower, and I love the smell. It burns your nose, but I go out, do what I need to do for the day, and there's nothing better than coming home,

and it just smacks you in the face. Once again, it's that feeling of accomplishment, I think. Absolutely. I did this. I cleaned this. I have killed all the germs. Yeah, I love it. Yeah.

If anybody knows me, would know that I would be saying this. Yeah. Jodie. Everyone listening now is like, that's Jodie. Jodie's nominating bleach. That's all bleachy, Jodie. What about you, Vicky? What's your nomination?

My one is when you first walk into the supermarket when it's just opened and you've got the fresh bakery and you've got the fresh veg and it smells so good. You know what? I don't think I've ever been into a supermarket when it's just opened. Oh, but I know what you're putting down with the fresh bread. That smell of a bakery just opened. I'm not necessarily the biggest fan of Subway, but the Subway smell. I mean, you can't not like that.

Oh, Italian herbs and cheese every day of the week. Why isn't there a car, little pine cone tree of Italian herbs and cheese? 100%. Yes, Vicky, thank you for that. I'll finish off with David here. Good morning, Dave. Morning, guys. Balls.

Balls are the best smell. Open balls, tennis balls, hoodies, new leather ones. Yes. We're the best, don't you think? When you open your new packet of Dunlop tennis balls and you do that crack in the can thing, it does smell good, doesn't it? That Pringle can. Yeah.

And what other balls smell good? Not just tennis balls, any kind of balls. Any kind of balls. Soccer balls. Yeah. What about a shuttlecock moving away from... Well, yeah, I don't mind that. It's a bit frilly, softball. What about a shuttlecock moving away from... Well, yeah, I don't mind that. It's a bit frilly, but anyway.

Yeah, if you're into that, I suppose. Oh, it's got to be... What about like an NRL ball? It's not round per se, but it's a ball. Do they have a nice smell? Well, I think so, yeah. A good leather ball is good. Catch David and Rebel Sports.

Just taking them all in. David's back sniffing balls. Jess and Ducko. My husband really insulted me the other day, Ducko. And I know about myself. I can get on some train tracks. When I've got my eyes on something, I know everything else can sort of fall to the wayside.

Yes. But I don't like, I didn't like his insinuation that even my own flesh and blood, my daughter, would also fall to the wayside because I had the blinders on focusing on something else. Well, she got all the Christmas presents this year, so surely she's had enough. She's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She doesn't need my attention now as well. She's taken everything from you.

So I told Angus the other day that a friend was coming over, and yes, it was going to be nice to catch up, but he was purely coming over to give me some juggling lessons. This guy is good at juggling. Like, oh, I've got a goal to be also good at juggling. I know juggling is actually very skillful and it's quite hard to do, but there's nothing lamer than two friends catching up for a juggle. Do you want to come over and have a little juggle?

Sure. 10 o'clock, same place. Are you going to a park or is the living room enough space? No, he came to my house. And it's funny because I was like, is your boyfriend coming with you? Because I think you'll get distracted. I just think you should come. Solo juggles only.

No partners welcome. And he was like, well, no, he's going to come as well. And I was like, well, all right, but you're coming for juggling. I don't want no catching up happening as well. You're coming to juggle. And then you don't want other people there judging your juggling. Well, no, that's why I wanted a safe space, my home. And yeah, that's why I went, can you minimize who you're bringing?

He went, well, what am I going to do? Oh, anyway. So they both came, which was fine. Frank's just there watching you two juggle like this is the worst day of my life. So I've been posting my juggling journey on Instagram. I've seen it. You've seen. And I must admit.

The lesson worked. Credit where credit's due. You are getting better at it. Thank you. I thought when you said I'm trying to juggling and I saw you juggle last year, I was like, ah, this is hopeless. Like this one at last. She's bad at it.

Just to jump the shark. Yeah. Tyron is a good teacher. And so I've gotten some good skills. Okay. But a few people messaged me in response saying, I did circus skills at high school. Stop it.

That was like a portion of their PE curriculum. What? I never had circus skills. That's awesome. I played badminton. I didn't do circus skills. I know. I had to do softball.

Yeah. I never did circus skills. It's awesome. I hope schools are still doing that in the PE curriculum because that's wicked. That's different. Because some of these circus skills kids,'s awesome. I hope schools are still doing that in the PE curriculum because that's wicked. That's different. Because some of these circus skills kids, well, they're adults now, were trying to give me tips. I went, I can't, too many cooks in the kitchen. I'm going with Tyron's method.

Everyone else, shut up. Well, it did look like it worked. Thank you. But prior to this, I'm saying to Angus, look, Tyron's going to come over. He's going to teach me how to juggle. We're having a juggling session. And Angus went, yeah, all right, but just remember Lucia is here, our one-year-old daughter. I went, what's that got to do with the price of fish?

He goes, well, I'm making lasagna. You know I'm making lasagna. So he's there cooking. He's there cooking. Boyfriend is there just passenger watching juggles. Passenger watching, yeah. Your child is there also watching. And I'm in my lesson.

Right. But Angus was like, just remember Lucia's around. I went, what are you talking about? Like, we're just going to be in the backyard. He went, I don't want, like, he goes, I'm going to be busy. I don't want Lucia to start crying or carrying on and you call out to me and interrupt the lasagna session to get the baby because you're too busy juggling.

I went, do you think if the baby's in distress, I'm not going to tend to her? And he goes, well, yeah, I reckon you'll be too focused. That's how seriously you're taking the juggling. If anything, it's a compliment to how seriously you're taking this. Well, what a perspective because I took it as a real insult that he thought I'd put juggling over the needs. She's climbed up to the top of the slide and is about to jump off.

Angus, can you just grab her? Can you grab the baby? I'm four in a row here. The baby's about to neck herself, but I've got to. I've really found me rhythm. Come fetch the baby. He went, I've got to focus on the lasagna. I went, you're just as bad as me if you think the lasagna is more important than the baby.

You've all got to eat that. That's important. It was. It was our dinner for the evening. When are you whipping this juggling out now? Like, what's the goal here? So my goal, which unfortunately I was, I panicked and I didn't do it. I had some mum friends come over the other day.

They've all got a kid each. And my dream is to juggle for the children. Oh, my God. Your goal was to get other mums around so you could say, hey, sit here, watch my juggle. My dream is that the kids would crack it and be distressed and I could swoop in and save the day and distract them with my juggling. And Danny, Danny was one of the mums, she saw the juggling ball. She goes, I've watched you practice your juggling.

Juggle for us. You froze? No, you didn't. I can't do it. You left the juggling balls outuggle for us. And I panicked. You froze! No, you didn't! I got stage fright. I can't do it. You left the juggling balls out for the mums to see. The organic entry into the juggling comes. You've got a perfect entry. You didn't do it yourself. And instead of doing it and going, okay, ladies,

watch this. You panicked. I got massive stage fright. Because the only, my biggest record for juggling is about nine passes at the three. That's pretty good. It's good, but I didn't think that was impressive enough

for the group gathered. But this is people who don't juggle. They'll probably think two is good, you know? Nine sounds really good. I was really happy with nine, but nine was also on my own, just me and my camera. Yeah, it's different with people watching you. It's different.

And then you'll do that thing where you muck up a couple times. Wait, wait, wait. I can do it. Everyone's like, oh. Why do you think I haven't brought the balls in here? Because I know as soon as I try and show you. I know. Can we get a live on-air juggle off at the risk of it being very horrible radio? I think we need to set you a date and a time.

I've been practicing every day. This time next week. I have an alarm go off every day. Practice juggle seven. That's when you know, guys, that life isn't that great anymore. I've been practicing every day. This time next week? I have an alarm go off every day. Practice Jungle 7. That's when you know, guys, that life isn't that great anymore. That's when you know you've had a child and you don't have much to look forward to anymore. I've told you. I'm listening to Atomic Habits, that book.

And he says, he says, you've got to do it every day. It's better to do less than you plan than to do nothing at all. So even if you can only have a couple of goes, he's talking about like learning an actual skill or writing a book or becoming a professional athlete. I love how this time next year when I'm in the trenches with you with the child, I'll be like swallowing swords. Here we go. Life is good.

Okay. We're getting a whole circus acting. Sharko's the slender man. Babs is out there taming lions. Okay, next Friday, this time, you're coming on air. We're filming it and you're juggling. You have to rip the band-aid off. Sometimes you've got to take a leap of faith and jump.

You know what I mean? Do you think Ray Gunn was ready for the Australian final? Well, look at that band. Jess and Jaco. Where do you stand on family group messages with like your entire family? Like your immediate family, your cousins, your aunties, whatever, grandparents, like everyone's in there. I don't have one of those.

Oh, man. And it sounds like a nightmare. So we had one. It's always on WhatsApp too because I don't have one of those. Oh, man. And it sounds like a nightmare. So we had one. It's always on WhatsApp too because I don't know why. I think that's where Angus's is as well. Yeah, God forbid we use Messenger or iMessage. Yeah, because one uncle has an Android and you can't use iMessage. And we're on one like last year and I removed myself from the group.

It was just, Ducko has left the group. I just got out. I was like, this sucks. They send each other recipes. It's like my auntie's sending recipes and blurred selfies. I'm like, I just don't want to bar of this. Guys, take that offline. Exactly.

So I bailed on that group. And then my other auntie's had a moment a couple of weeks ago being like, guys, we all need a big group. Okay, I promise this one that I'm creating, started a new one, will not have recipes in the group. Oh, they knew that's what tipped you over the edge. Yeah, this will be a recipe because my sister left too. So we both got out.

Your younger sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now they've added us all back in and we're all back in the group. Yes. And we don't want recipes. But the problem is now, and I made sure because Morgan wasn't in it too. And she's like, don't put me in it. I was about to say, a partner's in it as well.

Yeah, they all are. Except for some reason they hadn't had Morgan. So I put Morgan in. Morgan's like, God damn it. I don't want to be in this thing. I'm new to say, are partners in it as well? Yeah, they all are. Except for some reason they hadn't had Morgan, so I put Morgan in. Morgan's like, God damn it. I don't want to be in this thing. How do I mute this thing? Now it's just my auntie sending photos of her art lessons because she's an art teacher and stuff like that.

Very quirky. But the most annoying thing is my grandma keeps group calling the group. Oh. So my grandma, I keep getting notifications like, I reckon seven a day the last couple of days. And it's like, Meryl wants to start a group chat. And then my auntie joins it. So it's Meryl and auntie die on a group chat.

I'm like, oh, my God. This is what they said it would have been. And on Meryl's phone, she's probably got the font size up to about 75%. So that's really hard to accidentally hit that button. That feels purposeful. It is tough. You know how many times her Facebook's been hacked? I'll get a new friend request from her almost

weekly. Meryl, I send you a friend request and you get a message from mum, don't grandma's been hacked. Has she got a Nigerian prince boyfriend yet? I'd say so. She's punching. Oh, Meryl. I know. Someone help her. I know. Family group chats.

At least she feels a part of it. And then we have another separate group chat with just the cousin kids that were like, what the is this? That's where you send your recipes. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on it. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer.

You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back to you, of course, if there is time. They're the rules of engagement. It is 10K Alfbox. And our player today for Friday is Shane. Hello, Shane. Hey, how's it going?

Shane-o, we are fantastic for a Friday. But you can make it even better by taking $10,000 off our hands. Are you ready? Yep, sounds good. Let's go. Come on, Shays. Shays got a peppery step, doesn't he? I know. Someone's had a triple shot latte this morning.

Oh, yeah. What do you want to spend the $10,000 on? Family holiday. I'm going to head over to Canada and take the family. Oh, okay. That would be nice. Shano, I love this for you because your letter's V. V for Vancouver. Oh, how good's that? That feels good.

That's a good omen. That is. I think there's an airport there. You fly direct. You ready to go, Shano? You've been there, have you? Yeah, let's do it. I'm into Toronto. Never done Canada. I would like to. Yeah, Toronto and Montreal. Beautiful.

Beautiful part of the world. Beautiful part of the world. Are you ready to go, Shane? Yep, let's go. All right. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter V, we need you to name something healthy. Pass.

A type of diet. Vegan. A movie. Pass. Pass. Veronica. Pass. Pass. Pass. A supernatural creature. Pass. A condiment. Pass. A clothing brand.

Ha-ha, that was shocking. Ah, we ran out of steam. We ran out of steam. V's not great. It is tough. You got yourself four. Something good for you. That's a tricky one.

Could have been vitamins or vegetables. Yep. I would have accepted Vegemite. My man's got B vitamins, isn't he? Why not? A movie could have been V for Vendetta, Van Helsing, Valentine's Day. A musician, Vance Joy. Vanessa Amorosi.

Supernatural creature, vampire, condiment, vinegar. A clothing brand could have been Vans or Victoria's Secret. All good. All good, Shane. Unlucky. Good try. Good try. You don't go empty-handed, though. You get $100 to spend at Minx Erotic Boutique. All good, Shane. Unlucky. Good try. Good try. You don't go empty-handed, though.

You get $100 to spend at Minx Erotic Boutique. That's all yours. Awesome. Awesome. Thanks for that, guys. Appreciate it. Thank you, Shane. Good luck getting to Canada.

Cheers. You guys have a good one. Thank you. You too. We do play again tomorrow. No, we don't. We're not here tomorrow. No.

We play again next week. I mean, you can come in, Dale, but I'll have a weekend if you don't mind. I'll be working overtime. I'll just be in here practicing pressing the buttons. We play again Monday, 6.30 and 8 for 10K. I think our best this week was? Eight. Okay.

Yeah, that's good. He did well. Yeah, that's good. He did really well. We weren't setting the world alight. That was the guy who said Epstein Island. Remember? Island E.

I would have said Epstein. I don't know if we could have passed that. No, we wouldn't have. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60, because I know you've all got one. A little evil genius. Have you ever looked at your kid because they've done something and you think, where the hell did you get that from?

Yep. It's, I guess, endearing in a way because you think, wow, you're smart. Yes. But it's manipulative. Maybe it's a bit conniving. Maybe it's scared you a little bit because they've worked you out and they're only maybe sub 10 years old. This is a story off one of my girlfriends. A few years back, she's got a younger brother. So let's say Billy would have been about 10 or 11 at the time, Ducko. They had moved out of their family home. The parents thought, let's relocate. We're

going to move suburbs. But then they weren't really loving that change they'd made. And the original family home came back on the market. So they sold, but then the universe went, it's back here for you. The parents get the family together, a bit of a family meeting. My friend would be 12. Billy, as I said, he's 10. Guys, what do you think about going back to the family home? Maybe we, maybe we could put a bit of money into it, renovate, but is that where we see ourselves long-term? Right. I think they were trying to involve the children as though they'd actually have a say. But they're not paying for anything.

They're not paying for anything. At the end of the day, it's going to be mum and dad's call. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, my friend. But you would take into account, if you're a parent, what your kids are saying. Totally. You would. If they were like, oh, I don't want to go back.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe there was something you didn't address at the time. Totally. You would. If they were like, oh, I don't want to go back. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe there was something you didn't address at the time. Or like, I remember my parents sitting us down and they bought a block of land and it kind of kept creeping up and up the price of, of putting a new house on there. And my parents sat us down going, if we build this dream house, we're never going on a holiday again. Like we're going to have to sink all our money into it. So that means we're never going up to the Gold Coast again Maybe we'll never go overseas And my brother and I put our heads together Sincerely went, no we want the house

Because we'll get a pool And that'll be our holiday And my parents a week later went, nah we're not doing it We want a triple Thanks for including us So that's what this mum and dad have done And they've gone, yeah we want to go back to that house So a week goes by Alright, they're doing the adult side of it Yeah, yeah. So that's what this mum and dad have done. And they've gone, yeah, we want to go back to that house. Right.

So a week goes by. All right. They're doing the adult side of it. Billy is sitting one night playing Sims on the family computer. As you do. As you do, 10 years old. Just drowning her Sims in the pool. That's right. Yeah.

And he sees an email pop up. Obviously, mum and dad's email, maybe dad's email, has just been logged in still on the computer, family computer, sees an email response from the real estate agent. Now, this is a clue. Here you can see this is the real estate agent, branding or company, clicks on the email, and it is a rejection of mum and dad's offer for the house that's on the market.

Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, not high enough. The owners have rejected your bid. Billy hits reply. Now, this is coming just from Dad's email. Yeah. And he writes in caps lock letters. Yeah. This is our house and we want it back.

We'll pay anything. Oh, goodness. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. How old? He's 10. Wow. He's 10 and he's reading all this and he's going, Oh, goodness. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. How old? He's 10. Wow. He's 10 and he's reading all this and he's going, no, no. To take that in.

All right, so what they've offered isn't good enough. This is our house. And he basically picks a fight with the realtor. Yeah, yeah. And hits send. So the real estate agent obviously gets this thinking it's from the dad. Yeah. Going.

It caps lock. I've got a live one here. Okay. He's going to pay whatever he wants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who knows what happens back end. He probably calls the owners of the house going, all right, we've got a live one. Name your price.

They're saying they'll pay whatever they want. He eventually calls the dad and says, okay, I need you to come up to 1.2 million. And the dad's going, what the hell are you talking about? Because he's not seen any of this email change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it turns out, you know, the back and forth, the back and forth, that mum and dad put their heads together and go, all right, I guess that's what we'll do.

So they did it. So they did it. So Billy gets his way. They end up buying the house back, and they've been in it ever since. It's now been another 15 years or so, and this is now where they've set up for life. He sort of pushed them into doing it. He pushed them into doing it just because he hit reply and went, It's now been another 15 years or so, and this is now where they've set up for life. He sort of pushed them into doing it.

He pushed them into doing it just because he hit reply and went, no, we're not going to take this lying down. But he would have had no idea what he meant or what any of that was. We'll pay whatever you want. Yeah, yeah. What kid has any concept of money? Yeah. Granted, this is, as I said, about 15 years ago. He has Roblox.

He can sell a ton of those. Robux. I know mum and dad work. They should have money to pay. They've got money. They've got to work all day. But because he just hit reply, the wheels spun in motion in that way that ended them up with the house.

Whereas speaking to mum and dad now, I went, if you had seen that email, what would you have done? And they probably went, they went, oh, we probably wouldn't have explored it anymore. No. Because that was relatively our ceiling at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Billy forced their hand by sending that email.

Okay. Unbelievable. So you want to do evil genius kids. Yeah, I want to do like, is your kid, you know, it's almost like they've gotten, they're too smart for themselves. Yeah. Or how much did the kid cost you? Oh, I love that.

Yeah, yeah. How much did the kid cost you? Yeah, yeah. Do they understand the concept of, well, that's dad's credit card. If I can use that credit card, I can buy whatever I want there. Attached to games on their phones and they just buy heaps of Robux or whatever it may be. Exactly. Our kids are smarter than the tech.

They can get what they want. And they know how to use it so quickly now. They do. How much did the kid cost you or is your kid an evil genius getting to a house? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 131060, we're asking, is your kid an evil genius getting to a house? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. We're asking, is a kid an evil genius or how much did your kid cost you?

That's right. A girlfriend of mine, her little brother, he would have been 10 at the time, responded to an email just because he, you know, dad had left the emails open. Also, while that's just an email, not a phone call. Like, hey, you haven't got the bit of your house. Yeah. You're going to need to come up. Maybe you need like the paper trail, who knows?

But if it had happened any other way, would they have gotten their family home back? It was a rejection from a realtor saying, sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, you're going to need to come up. Billy, the 10-year-old went, I'm going to take matters into my own hands, replied to the email saying, that's our house. We'll pay whatever you want, which opened the conversation up for mum and dad and the real estate agent, brought them up to, I think it was like $1.2 million. I wonder what the first offer was.

I know. I know. I don't know how far off it was to begin with, but asking them today, they were like, oh, we probably wouldn't have explored it if they had knocked it back. We would have moved on. Yeah. But because Billy forced our hand, he got what he wanted and we paid the freaking money. Are they happy in the house?

It would have been horrible if they moved into the house and had a pest problem. You know what? They've stayed in it ever since, but maybe because they feel compelled to. Yeah, they have to. We go to Christine on 131060. Christine, you have an evil genius. I do. He's 24 now, but when he was three, he was our monkey.

He was our climber. He cost me a lot of embarrassment. I sat him in the lounge room with a kid's movie while I did the laundry and come back and he was gone. Next minute, there's a knock at the door. I open the door and it's him. And he's like, I'm back. I'm like, where have you been? And apparently he climbed our six-foot back fence. We had a bowling club behind us. There was a lot of bowlers playing bowls.

He walked all through the bowlers. He picked up their little white jack and he brought it home to me. At three years old? Yes. Anyway, I shut the door. Next minute, the doorbell rang and I opened the door and all the angry bowlers wanting their jack. He took our jack and jumped out of the door. Next minute, the doorbell rang and I opened the door and all the angry boulders wanting their jack back.

He took our jack and jumped out of the fence. They just followed this toddler, basically. Oh, that's funny. Follow that kid. I'd be like, what are you talking about? What do you mean? Yes. I know.

I just embarrassingly apologized and I'm like, I'm so sorry and gave them their jack back. It was so embarrassing. I'm like, look at this kid. And I'm like, you're so sorry and gave them their jack back. It was so embarrassing. I'm like, look at this kid. And I'm like, you're going to be the death of me. Because you can imagine, like, when you're 75 plus, that's the highlight of your day. Yeah, if someone's taking your jack. That's your boss comp and these toddlers come and ruin you.

We bring this story up all the time. He's 24 now and he's currently with SES, doing the best thing he loves, is climbing on roofs of houses. Oh, there you go. He's made a career out of it. I'm glad he's not stealing Jack's for a career. He chose the better of those parts. Ellie on 131060,

you've also got a little evil genius. How are you? Great, Ellie. My son is almost 10, but when he was about three and a half, four four he was playing in my room and decided to go through a particular drawer and start playing with my toys okay i walked in and he's gone what is this and i've just said it's a massager and i've he said can i play with it and i said no and he said why not and i said because i don't go into your room and play with your toys. I go into my room and play with my toys. And my three and a half year old grinned at me and said,

I'll give you a dollar for it. I'll give you a buck for the massage, your mum. I could not believe it. It's been a story that just won't ever die down. Oh, that's bad. He's already understanding the value of money, goods and services. From a young age, he's like, this is going to come in handy. Supply and demand. Oh, and Brad. Brad, how much did your kid cost you, it says here?

Hey, guys, how are you? Yeah, excellent, Brad. It cost me $5,500 on Boxing Day. On Boxing Day? On Boxing Day, yeah, Boxing Day sales. He thought it was really good to grab the credit card and buy a prayer gear, TV and a PlayStation. Shut up.

How old was the kid at the time? He's 10 years old. He's in business this year. That was his year? Business this year. How did he actually do it? He paid online. Went online and used it online and got delivered two days later

and it was delivered out the front door. Had to sign for it. 10 years old. He didn't know nothing about it. 10 years old. Didn't even know nothing about it. Ten years old paying online is also evil genius territory. Absolutely. How do they navigate that? So, Brad, did he understand, like, did he see an ad or something and go,

right, if I go on that website, I can then just buy that one? It popped up on his YouTube thing. He's like, oh, okay, I guess I'm going to get a new TV and a PlayStation. Oh, my God. But to enter that, it's one thing. You know how a lot of these websites now, it's preloaded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Car details on there before.

Apple Pay. Apple Pay. Whereas he's actually gotten the credit card, entered the number. He's put the CVV in at the back, the three. Ever since, yeah. Now I've got a TV and a PlayStation. I'm trying to take it back off him, I guess. Are you going to keep the TV and the PlayStation?

Yeah, yeah. He's going to have to do some chores for that one. Yeah. Dad also looks at the TV and is like, wow, it's a 70-inch. It's the diary time. That's right. Shy Guy, he's a diligent little note-taker. He's got a cute

little diary. And he likes to look back at the week that was, so we can really reflect. What a nice diary this is. And you're a purple velvet kind of thing. Yeah, hello. We got some contact from Officeworks. Yeah, nice. You and Babs went together and there's no bubble in your this year. It's a new one. Purple velvet. Yeah, hello. We got some contacts from Officeworks. Yeah, nice. You and Babs went together and there's no bubble in your contact either. It looks good.

No, bubble-less. Use the ruler. Bubble-less. Yeah, good, smart. And you've got a hair dryer too. It's a little half. Guys, that's what they do in their spare time, Jess. Okay.

Just contact books. Get all the bubbles out of the contact. Babs got a plant for her new desk that she got yesterday and they contacted Charga's book. Did she? Yeah. I did. I got some decorations. No,aga's book. Did she? Yeah. I did. I got some decorations. No, it's over with everyone else.

Oh. Not this desk. Oh, desk number two. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's so excited. Yeah. It's her big girl desk. No wonder the team is just flying high today.

Everyone's having a good time. Everyone's feeling really good. Me and Shaga were thinking about getting a fish. Definitely. I'm all for an animal. Are you going to come in on the weekend and feed her? Oh, no. I wasn't going to. You just leave going to come in on the weekend and feed her? Oh, no. I wasn't going to.

Just leave plenty of food from Friday. We just feed it extra. Yeah, I think so. Who's going to clean the bowl? Shy guy. Babs. Shy guy. We'll rotate.

We'll get a roster. Okay. Okay. Anyway, here's the diary. But what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko. Jess has been all over clean talk during the break, and she wanted to clean the limeimescale out of her toilet and to do this she had to rope in her husband Angus for help

which she regrets. I sent Angus to Bunnings to buy it and it's literally this potion that will eat away at limescale. The issue is she said get the water out of the bowl. Now the way she did it was literally get like a jug.

No. Yeah. So this is the way she was doing it and I like a jug. No. Yeah? No. Yeah? So this is the way she was doing it. And I said to Angus, oh, what's the best way? What should I do? How do we get the water out? And he went, leave it to me.

There we go. He comes back in with a leaf blower. Oh. And I went, I'm going to leave it to you. Was he going to put it in reverse and suck it up? No. He was going to blow it through the pipe. I reckon I hear the leaf blower go on.

Not even half a second. No! Yeah, this seems like a dumb idea from him. He's a smart boy. I know, he doesn't really do dumb things. He went to a smart school that was academically selective. I don't reckon he'd get in now. You've really dumbed him up over time. What happened? That rich woggy up over time. What happened?

All that rich woggy... What do you think happened? The water... The water... It just went everywhere. It was dripping. So he emptied it out. He emptied it out.

He jobbed up. I've done all the dumb things. We're back for 2025, which means your chance at $10,000 is up for grabs at $630,800 or $156 million dong if you take your winnings to Vietnam, like player MJ wanted to. Because you can get a lot for your money in Vietnam. Absolutely. You know what?

I don't know. Quick currency conversion. $10,000 AUD into dong, please. Just wanted to show off that I knew what the Vietnamese currency was. Thank you. I didn't even know. $156 million dong. Oh.

That's a lot of dong for you, MJ. That's a lot of dong. That's a lot of dong for the 50th. MJ, you're going to need to buy excess luggage for all that dong. Oh, yes. And you're not going to believe, in case you don't win the $10,000. I'm just going to do it over that dong. How good's a pho?

I love a pho. Oh, it's very good. A pho. A pho. Oh. Love it fur. Oh, it's very good. A fur. A fur. Love it. You, um... All right, let's play the game. You Bergens would call it a faux, but it's...

Anyway, MJ. You Bojans would call it a faux. Have I told you? You call it a Bergens. I call it a faux. Yeah, you. MJ, I haven't told her the letter. I.

Your letter's I. You're on fire. We are. We haven't missed a beat. We're making ourselves laugh. It's's I. You're on fire. We are. We haven't missed a beat. We're making ourselves laugh. It's 17 minutes. Sorry, we're running over. Goodness gracious.

All right, Dad. That is why I'm here. Darko has come up with a foolproof way to win at the schoolyard classic, Scissors, Paper, Rock. Or did he? He put his theory to test with us live on air. I've read this article. For those who play Scissors, Paper, Rock at home or, you know, maybe in the schoolyard and want to win,

this is to increase it to... At home, when you don't want to empty the dishwasher. There will be people out there going, yeah, I want to know how to increase my odds from 33.3 to 40% winning. Hey, I'll take it. I haven't tested this with my wife yet. May the odds be ever in your favour. All right, practice it out on me.

Scissors, paper, rock. Scissors, paper, rock. Ah, you beat me. But, but, okay, okay. Okay, I'll get Shy Guy. Ready, Shy Guy? Okay, yep. Scissors, paper, rock.

Ducko Rock and Shy Guy Scissors. Play Babs, because maybe you just lose against women. Go. Scissors, paper, rock. Both rock. Scissors, paper, rock. Ah, she beat me. No, no.

I can't beat women. Isn't Christmas time just the best? Except for when you're Jess and you get upset and jealous that your one-year-old now gets more presents than you do. Well, I'll be honest with you. Yeah. Oh, I was about to sound like such a dudley-do. Go on, go on.

No, come on. Come on, you've got to now. Come on. I can't recall anything. I can't recall. Because it all went to the kid. It all went to the kid. I know.

My mum. Oh, she and mummy, there was 36 presents. It's legit. And it was so annoying because my brother still got heaps. And I was like, that's crap. He doesn't have a child yet, you see. So clearly my parents spent all the allocated funds for Jessica on Lucia, which is fine.

It's really nice. But I got Bobcats. I got a nice pair of earrings. I think they were diamonds. I probably shouldn't cry. It sounds like such a hard week. My brother got a golf club. I went got a nice pair of earrings. I think they were diamonds. I probably should cry. It sounds like such a hard week. My brother got a golf club. I went, they ain't just a singular club.

Like a driver? A driver. Oh, they're expensive. Yeah, that's a big one. They are so expensive. 36 for last year. Last year I had 37. Yeah, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year.

I don't care how big they are. Well, that's it for this week. And remember, when talking about world populations, don't confuse the local cuisines. I don't often think of the Chinese as a sexually active country. I don't know why. That's the silliest thing you've ever said. Darko, they've got, like, the most populous nation.

Clearly, they're doing it. True. So much. So true. They put a cap on the kids they get out of. I guess I just... I think they relinquish the cap now. Do they?

Ah, so maybe they did. I've got to get up with my a hat. I guess I just... I think they relinquished the cap now. Did they? Ah, so maybe they dipped in. I've got to get up with my China facts. I apologise to our Chinese audience. I love a Peking duck, though. In the pancake? Unbelievable. So good. What is hoisin?

I don't know, but I... Dip me in hoisin and I'll be a happy lady. Want to come over tomorrow for some nasi goreng? We're not China now. I think that's Malaysia. We nailed it with the pigging duck because I googled it just to make sure we were legit. But we've just gone off track then. You can't be here. You can get it in China.

Nazi-goring might be in Tunisia. Quick, where's Nazi-goring? Quick while you're in Australia. I'm emailing. Can you do that one? A few complaints. Anyway, see you next week, Rice Cookers. Jess and Ducko. How good is this? You get involved in the show across the week.

Come Friday, you could walk away with a humdinger of a little gift. A beautiful prize. A beautiful prize. This week, Ducko, what did we have? A night stay at the Crowne Plaza, Sydney Darling Harbour, plus tickets to Sealife Aquarium and the Wildlife Zoo because we know school holidays go on forever. Forever and ever and ever

and you're probably pulling your hair out thinking I need an activity. Something to do. Well, how about we send the whole family down to Sydney for this great adventure? The aquarium's fun. So fun. Talking about the difference between manatees and dugongs during the week. That's right. You can learn that at the aquarium for yourself.

Honourable mention to everyone who got involved on the phones. There was a lot this week. If we're honest, you know, first week back after a big chunk of professional development, sometimes it can take a little while for the wheels to start turning again. To grease the wheels. For people to realise, oh, they're back. I can actually contribute. No, not 2025.

Out of the gates. People were with us. People were willing to share and contribute. We're so grateful. The Bradspurs were loving it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. However, gosh, was it Monday, Ducko? What went wrong on the holidays?

Yes, it was. Your friend? Yeah, my friend got shingles. In the eye. In the eye, and it's still going, the poor guy, because his baby got sick, because all the kids got sick on a family holiday, and they thought he was took him to hospital.

He got so stressed, he got shingles. Now the kids are fine, but he spread shingles to his sister. Mate, it's one of the most horrific holiday fails I've ever heard. Then Lauren called up. And Lauren told us what went wrong on her holiday. There is a mother's meet-up, like a meet-and-greet for people going to the Steiner School, or maybe going to the Steiner School. Okay. And, well, me and my little boy go.

You know, all these prestige parents are all there. And one of the activities is to make honey buns. So rolling, like, dough into whatever shape you want and then they're going to cook it. Yeah. Instead, my little boy would like to snort the flour. Lauren. Hello. What's he been watching, Lauren? Instead, my little boy would like to snort the flour. Lauren, how are you? What's he been watching, Lauren?

Yeah, what is he doing? Everyone said, all these mothers were eyes on me going, oh. He's like, mum, you got a note? Lauren, we've been giggling about that story since we heard it. You've won the call of fame. Oh, my God. You're not going to the Steiner School, but you're going to the Aquarium. Thank you so much, guys.

No, thank you. Thanks for getting involved in the show. Thanks for kicking our new year off with an absolute bang. I didn't know what a Steiner School was. Yeah, can you explain, Loz? Yeah, so it's an alternative way of, like, learning. In, like, if they learn angles, they go outside to the trees and find a right angle in the trees.

Ah, I see. Very hippie. Hippie. You know, if they're making a stuff with flour, they snort it. It's that kind of art. Ah, well, beautiful, Lauren. You enjoy the night, say, the Crowne Plaza and the zoo and the aquarium. Oh, beautiful Lauren, you enjoy the night, say the Crowne Plaza and the zoo and the aquarium.

Oh, thank you so much. You're welcome. Have a great adventure, Loz. We're back on, of course, next week with, oh, we've got a co-fod next week. Oh, co-fod, a call of fame of the day. Yep. Which means every day you get involved,

you have a chance to walk away with $250 to spend with our mates at Officeworks. Again, just in time for school to return. Let us help you out just a little bit. That would be handy. $250 at Officeworks. You can put all the pens in the pencils. I know Shaga will answer yes to this,

but do you ever just go to Officeworks and roam? Just see what's in there? No. Shaga? No. As if you don't. That has you all over it. As a kid, I used to be excited to buy books and stuff.

But no, not now. He wants to know what's the latest in highlighter technology. Oh, yeah. I'll go to Officeworks to print some photos and stuff. I like those little kiosks there. Usually they never work. They're all out of things. Oh, okay.

It's always out of order. It's always out of order. It's always out of order. Listen, we're happy with Officeworks. It's fantastic. Go and get whatever you need're happy with Officeworks. It's fantastic. Go and get whatever you need to get. The Officeworks oven works great. It's me.

The Kmart ones we're talking about. It's me. Hi. Hey, we're out of here. We're back. If you missed anything, grab it on the podcast. We've been beta testing games. We did another great one today that might be on the show next week.

Absolutely. We'd love your feedback, your opinion, any suggestions. Please feel free to always slide into the DMs, Jess and Ducko on Instagram. If you missed me, Fireman, carrying Ducko out of the studio yesterday. Check that out. You can check that video out. On our Instagrams, any one of ours.

Go look at it. Go have a little look. It's worth a watch. It's quite uncomfortable. Someone commented saying, breaking news, two B-list celebrities die in a fire. And obviously implying that I didn't get us out in time. My husband was like, do you want me to fight this guy?

Of course, we're B-list. I went, what do you think we are? That's generous. I think that's a compliment. That's really generous. We'd be lucky to get a little banner in the Daily Mail if we died in a fire. We'd be lucky.

Someone asking if they could... Right next to the stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone asking if they could have a go on you, Ducko, because she's practicing her deadlifts and squats. Yes, that's right. She's like, can I have a crack? How much do you weigh? I just want to know.

Picking up Ducko. Okay, you can't all just pick me up and throw me around. I'm not Monopoly money. All right, just relax. Someone else said, let him burn. Save your shoes. She really likes me shoes. Your shoes are getting saved anyway, okay?

They're on my feet. I'm not sure. Thanks a lot to all that. Anyway, yeah, go have a little look. My wife enjoyed it, though. She said, well, I'll call Jess if ever... She'll be too busy saving, you know, your baby and your fur baby. Obviously, don't send me to the doctor.

So I'll come in and save you, ducko. Don't worry. And I want to add, it was hard to be limp. It was really hard to be limp in that. To do nothing, you know? It was very tough. Oh, the good times. Go check it out. Hey, we're out here. Great first week, team. Well done to all involved.

Well done. Babs, Shy Guy, really good stuff. Really stepped it up. Except for Babs not telling us we weren't on air today. It was 22 seconds. Was it really? 22 seconds of Babs panicking and saying nothing. I'm sorry. There's a lot going on. No, there's not. You weren't doing a thing out there. We weren't. If you figure out what we. No, there's not. No, there's not. You weren't doing a thing out there.

We weren't. If you figure out what we were doing, which will be announced next week. The one thing that should have been going on was us on air, and you were the only one who could have helped that. We could have fixed that. Next time, throw something at the glass. I'd rather you break the soundproofing glass than just sit there. Okay, I get it. I'm not going to pressure.

Go and think about what you've done. Anyway, we're out of here. We're back next week. See you later. Bye, I get it. I'm not getting under pressure. Go home and think about what you've done. Anyway, we're out of here. We're back next week. See you later. Bye-bye. Bye. We like swallowing swords. Here we go.

Life is good. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply.