Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Lional

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

Does Jess make for a good wingman? Is Ducko bad luck? Are you living in the dark ages?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Hell of a Wednesday. How long a way to launch October.

Yeah. Yeah, fun show. Yes. Really fun show. I can agree more. Started off talking about sperm racing and doing some great bingly impressions, which you will hear right after this. Do you ever...

I'm a dissector. I'm an analyzer. And I like to have a think about where we get and how we get there. And just the fact I threw out Bingley out of my ass because I've tried to hustle Bingley in recent days. And I haven't thought about Binley in years. When have we ever talked about Bing Lee? Never. But without missing a beat, you were able to continue on the Bing Lee bandwagon brought me to tears.

Brought me to tears. Yeah, yeah, it was funny. At 6'10. I know. We peaked there. With no, with no warm up, you know? It's the first break of the show. I know.

Thank you, because I love crying from laughter. It's one of life's great joy. It was fun. I just wasn't expecting it. Oh, no, neither was I. It just came out. Because every day I know we're going to laugh. Like it's in our job description to make one another laugh.

I know what's going to happen. KPI laughter. KPI laughter. Unique, is it U.P. Unique position. Indicators. Yeah, something like that. UPI as well.

Is it UTI? No. But that, to be brought to tears by your Bingley impression, I cannot wait for people to hear it. It's a spot-on impression. It's a spot-on impression. I'll just give you a look. Like, you know what just makes me sad to think about the parallel universe where I said Harvey Norman? And where would it have gone?

Now, but you just jumped on Bingley. Lionel? Oh, my God. Now, Babs. Let's get them on the show, Shaka. I would love that. Babs, what I need from you in the next 24 hours is someone named Lionel to contribute to the show, whether it's Alf. for bucks, whether it's a caller.

I want a Lionel. From American Idol host. Lionel Rich. I'll take it. I want a Lionel on the program so he can revisit Lionel. All right. That's your challenge. So they just come on.

Hello, I'm Lionel. I know. And that's it. And I will laugh again. Anyway, hell of a show. Yeah, a great show. Good fun. A bit of Shire Guy features early on, which you weren't loving by the end of it.

You can tell that's why you like being behind the scenes. Yeah, I mean, I think we just went in circles a bit. with it personally fucking great me back no no Dato and I here saying

today show is fantastic it was great it was great his job description not to make us laugh his job description to crush us down circles is in the same thing

over again it was a little bit of the same same yeah yeah well it's because yeah well I don't know if I explain myself properly in the breaks I regret that

but anyway I don't think it was I think it was new thoughts each time it's called development it's called having a bit of fun it's how a conversation goes what it was.

But I think maybe I could have explained myself better in the show. It's a new reversing. No, it's good feedback. Yeah, well, from now on. We need it. We just... No more circles. No more circles.

Straight line team. One of hearing is no more dissection, no more analysis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say it and we move on. Yeah. When, um, hey, Babbs, when are you taking Jess to your house to cook a pizza? Yeah, when can't come over. You get upset.

I get upset. I can't fathom with the lighter on the oven. Yeah, that's a whole thing. Is that not a landlord email? Is that not an email to the real estate agent? They won't do it. They didn't even want to fix the black mold in our house. Yeah, that's really problematic.

Yeah, they won't do anything. So, oh, well. Careful to repeat yourself. We might be going around in circles. Oh, no. Oh, no. Now I'm going to be really conscientious that shy guy thinks we're talking in circles. No, I've never thought that.

He's highly critical of himself, right? Yes. You're upset with yourself. This is a team sport, does it? It's a team sport. Probably. I'm not proud of that. Do you want to try the role play again? No.

I thought I played a really good blue scrunchy girl. You did? Blue scrunchy girl. I believed I was there on the street. She was British too. I don't hate that. She was like cartoonishly high pitched, which I just love. Like flirtatiously high pitched.

Yeah, yeah. You tell she you wanted that day. Amen. Amen. You didn't. need a wingman, you know? You're able to lure her in. Yeah, yeah. You tell she watched the Bonnie Blue docker. Who hasn't?

Me? Me. You fucking creep. Why am I a creep? I'm not a creep. Stan's a creep because they paid millions to get on as I can lose. I still want to watch it. It's just harder between my daughter's naps. But I will. I'll find a time. Do you don't want to watch in 10 minute blocks? You know, you want to watch it in one sitting.

I want to turn it off halfway through, you know? That's something at our date yesterday. Shaga and I were, I don't know how it came up in conversation, but I mentioned I'll listen to a podcast for two minutes. If my journey's two minutes, I'll have a two minute increment and keep dipping in and out, whereas he's like, no, I need a full block to enjoy a piece of content. I've started doing that too. We don't have a choice. Yeah, yeah, it's hard.

Not to play the parent versus non-parent card. You don't have a choice. Not to like, you know, throw my wife under a bus, but like, now she's always home on Matt leave. I'm like, I'm going to go for a walk with the dog. She's like, oh, we'll come. Flow wakes up in 20 minutes and I'll come. I'm like, this isn't a you and Flow walk.

This is a me and Pam walk. You know, they're faster. They're podcasty. But they're also... No, I don't say that to it. Obviously, I wait. Obviously, he waits for the 20throw. So now I'm not listening to it.

And Pam's getting more depressed because she's getting less daddy time. Do you know? That's something Angus and I? Yes. And people say that with the second kid. But I would argue, we have second children. We've got the dog. I've got friends who have literally said, oh, you guys going to have a second.

And we flag, look, we already feel, for a gamut of reasons. One of them being, the dog's already being neglected. And I've got too much guilt around it And I like spending time with him And they look at each other I go, yeah, we've got two Dalmatians Forget about the dog No, I don't want to.

Yeah. So we're going to change our scenario To make sure he still gets some scrap of attention. Has to. But yes, already we're like, no, no, if you can get Pam a bit of one on one time. Gianni the same of it a one on one time. Pam's favorite time in the house

is when Flo goes to bed at night. She knows. She covers up on the couch and she still comes into our bed and she just loves that, you know. Gianni sleeps in our. room on the floor but in our room and sometimes he has a midnight lick

or he shuffles around and Angus went should he go start sleeping in the living room I went the boy gets so little let him keep sleeping let him lick his dick at night in your room. That's what I said to Angus if you could you would so let him. Is it a jealousy? If you can lick your dick in your butt hole you would

Angus now just just sleep. Such a light sleep he goes it's so loud I went oh put some ear plugs in flow doesn't flow jaw I retract that Pam Pam doesn't lick Pam Sorry

Pam doesn't just lick her vagina Pam like vigorously Just like goes to town on it That's how Angus thinks about Are you enjoying this sweetie There's got to be an element of enjoyment Why would they do it? They're not doing for cleanliness

She looks at you in the eye Like in the eyes Why she's doing I'm like stop it Stop doing that Does Pam have to Is male and female dog anatomy The same

Is it essentially the same They got to lift that leg up? leg up and almost they're essentially flexible ribs really bending in there because we've both got big dogs. Pam can just pop that leg and look at you and just like clean over and do it and you're like, fuck, do you know, this might be a bit niche. Victoria Beckham went viral a while ago for posing on the

couch with one leg completely up. So she's lying down, but she's got one leg kicked up like a ballerina. Right. It's kind of like what Pam, I imagine looking like. It does. Yeah, and then she wants you to scratch her there too. I'm going to get you the pick. It's a pretty famous pick.

It's like I learned why doggy position is doggy position because obviously Yes, they go up like that. But do you have a female dog's vagina is actually so far back. Like the dog's peen is actually like a lot more underneath their belly, whereas the Vajus. Ah, so Gianni doesn't have to bend as much. No. So this is the picture of Victoria Beckham that went viral. That's what I picture Pam.

That's exactly Pam. Have you seen that back? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's cockling on the couch. That's what she does. Ah, so gets her better access to her own bits. Yes. To her cave.

I think I don't know. That's funny. Like let them. Let them live there. lives. They get so little now there's toddlers and babies around. I know. Yeah. But like when Flo sees Pam, she's small. Like nothing makes her happier than the dog. She will laugh and smile and just get it. When Pam licks her, she just cackles and cackles. Hopefully it's been a little while between the vagina. Yeah. Well, I often

say, yeah, I often wonder. Like, you know, I saw her eating a dead bird yesterday and then like, like, oh, that's, um, problematic. Gianni like, you know, eats another dog's shit, licks, literally his face. I'm like, how do I go to the doctor and go? I think my kids got pink eye because my dog ate shit and lick there. Gary's dog down the road, shit is on Louche's eye. It's a hard, you know. Diagnose that. Angus is always worried he's going to get.

Angus has now started. So obviously Pam sleeps in your bed. She's loud on the bed. She relaxes on the bed. Gianni's not meant to go on the bed, but he does. But Angus gets itchy neck. Because obviously the little shedding that he does is getting on his pillows. So now he drapes a sheet or a towel or like the spared duna over his pillows.

But he's always worried. I'm like, is it itch your neck you're worried about, or pink eye from the dog? Yeah, yeah. I don't want Gianni's ass on my pillows to then give me pink eye. That's fair. That's a valid reason to now reconfigure the whole bed. It's like, I need an anti-in flam. And I was like, okay, you got itchy neck again.

You've got hives again, honey. You're just there fucking, you'll be rubbing your face on that pillow with his asshole marks. Come here. I'm like, I don't cover my side with a pillow and it covers his side because I'm like, it's not a thing. Itchy neck What a loser Anyway Tough it up

Yeah tough it up Bans anything you want to add No Yeah Do you've summed it up greatly Enjoy the show Tolling up Jess and Ducko in the morning

Stop what you're doing And listen You know I got the shit that you like There's only one show to wake up with you I'm not that easy to hang Jess Cone, Cove Cone I ain't got to eat

Explain. Ducco. You're Puss, push, push, pooh. Got him going insane. Yeah, hi. How about? What's he talking about? Fast.

Yeah, what if you have squirty bomb? Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. Yes, it is. Welcome to Wednesday, team. Good morning. Good to be here, as always. Great to be here.

Can you feel an energy shift, Taco? I can feel a, me and Babbs are just texting about this on teams. Yeah. We can feel like, you want teams as well. You've got to get me a blogging, man. I don't know how you guys chat on the team. It's so fun. You have one. It's so fun.

Oh, okay. You just don't reply. Yeah, I can't know how to check the notification. What's that, Babs? Oh, yeah, no, I agree. What are you guys texting about? She was saying you and Sharga seemed a lot closer.

Like, yesterday you had a bomb. That we did. Yeah. There is something, there's actually a few things I want to run you through. And if we start now, I'll be going on for half an hour. So we'll get to it. But I do feel like we've level jumped a little. I speak for myself because I'm getting no support.

Shaga looks, Shaga looks just as awkward as always. My new bestie. New bestie? You tried to hold my hand. I did see that on the video. It was uncomfortable to watch. I kind of felt in the shops. I was like, what are you doing?

Got him eventually. He relented eventually. And you took him to our favorite sandwich place. You broke his sang of virginity. So, there was obviously multiple ALDIs we could have gone to, which would have then dictated where we then subsequently ate. He said, let's get the admin out the way. Yeah.

The cereal shopping for dips, obviously, coming up. And then we can enjoy a meal. and you know me, I got way too excited. I gave him 15 options. I went, right, well, if you go to this one, we can go here, they've got a great pokey ball. If we go here, we could go there. They've got a great carbonara.

I've been wanting to try. If we go here, we could go there, and we could get a sandwich. He's like, just stop. The last thing you said, sandwich, let's go there. So lucky. I actually told you to stop. Yeah, yeah. Just gets carried away with it.

And it's funny, because I'd already send the giant essay text, and then he wrote, just stop. It was like he read three lines and went, I'm not reading anymore. They went, ding, ding, ding, ding. Jess Facchetti said. And I was like, stop. Yeah, stop. We'll go to the last place, you said.

Yeah, and it was, yes, wonderful sandwich. And did you like it, Chagai? It was really good. Okay. Tell Ducco how long we had to wait for the sandwich. About half an hour, 40 minutes. So what did you talk about? Like, I was thinking about that.

And even Morgan goes, what did Chagai and Jess talk about? I was like, I don't know. We weren't sure. So firstly, we got stopped by some rice cookers who were questioning why we were there because he likes tip-top and white bread peanut butter sandwiches. And they said, you're not going to get this here. Should we save all... Are we going too deep into the weeds here?

Should we save this for when we talk about it? This is exactly what I was worried about, Draco. Stop. Good call. Stop. Did Babs just teamed you that? Yeah, Babs was messing and she's like, they're doing it again. Yeah.

Well, Babs... You know us, Duccoe, once you get us started me and Shai guy, you just can't stop it. No. Babs, be honest. How many times in Shai Guy before he left yesterday? I go, oh, I can't be bothered to do this. Many times. Well, there was an...

You wanted to come. What? You wanted to come? Well, I'm kind of offended that you ate one of those sandwiches without me. Well, see, the thing is, if the three of you were to go without me, that's just plain rude. Daco. Two goats, okay. Daco.

This is, while we're getting into it now, because I have things to say on this. No, no, wait, leave it, leave it. We've got to talk about a sperm race next. The order will just go out all that. Okay. There is a run sheet on the board and we must, we must respect it. You and I will go get saying at some stage. Yeah, sure.

Just not today, right? But it just feels, but invite me. I want to go. Hang on. It feels more problematic for some reason me and Bab's hanging out than you and Shagai. No, no. You just don't try and force yourself on to holding her hand and you'll be fine. Yeah, well, yeah, that's true.

There's a power dynamic. That's different. Okay. But you can go get sandwiches, absolutely. Okay. See how long your weight is. Half now. Me and Bab's just awkwardly sitting there.

I'll give you notes on what we talked about. You can try them on Babs. Okay. Well, I look forward to him. We're going to get in that about 20 minutes of time. We do have Shagai dips today, which is the whole reason you guys went out. That's right. So many people responded to my story saying, oh my God, I thought he was going to stand you up. I said, well, he can't because we needed to genuinely buy the cereal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we've got a good one today. I look forward to it. Plus we've got, what else we got today? Oh, we've got more chances at the call of fame. Teddy Swims, who's now been confirmed for the NRL grand final. Absolutely. Don't believe the clickbait headlines you might be seeing on online news forums. The show he cancelled was in the US. Yes. He is coming down under for Sunday's Granny.

He'll be here. Up next, though, there's a $10 million sperm race that we need to talk about. Okay. This thing has snowballed from when we last spoke about it. It was in a sperm race that was like you watch guys, they do their business into a little tube and they see who wins. And we watch the microscope projected on a big screen, like the Melbourne Cup. Yep. So now there's money into it.

The sport is expanding. Fantastic. Get your sports bet account open. We'll unpack it up to disco lions. Oh, it's your song, Jess. No Broke Boys. This is going out to pee money. P-Muddy, who said, I don't want to hear it every day.

Who's very upset with us. Jess and Ducco. You are less than 20 minutes? Oh, no, I guess that would then take you to 6.28. Come on. We got this. Come on. 25.

6.20. 18. 2019. The cupbox is coming up. 22. 22 minutes. Hey, yeah, right now. There were too many numbers.

You know, you're trying to count something, and your little brother starts going, 7, 15, 11, 2. That's what that felt. I was like, my brain's not weird. That's my tactic in wordioki. Yes. Hey, don't you? Hey, pipe down over there, shy guy.

It's very distracting. Yeah, just because you suck at the game. Hey, that's my best friend you're talking to. You watch how you talk to. Whoa, we can't have a power dynamic in here. Do you start teaming up with shy guy, the listeners will turn on you? Wait till you hear what he did to me. You'll say why he doesn't have me for him.

I don't even know what I did, so I can't wait to get around. It doesn't take a lot. Right now, let's talk sperm. Would be my pleasure. Yeah. You know I've got a close connection to my fellas. I was going to say. No one knows how many they have barmeet and how they work.

When there's sperm news, you've got Google alerts. Well, sperm's in a headline. Got another one. Ding! Take it to the show. But I know my boy Eric Zhu was doing such good things. Eric. Eric Zoo has turned sperm into sperm racing.

He was the guy in LA who started this sperm race that we talked about a couple months ago. Yes, the one where, yeah, they get a bunch of dudes, do it in a cup. They put it under a microscope and you get to see. And they put it in a race track. And it goes like up and down tubes and stuff like that. Then they enhance the graphics on a screen. It's an unbelievably tiny race track. Yeah, yeah, tiny.

The mechanics is amazing. It costs $1.5 million to produce a single race. Because, like, it's so expensive. The microscopes involved? The microscopes and the technology to enhance them. Correct if I'm wrong, ducco. It's free for you to do it in a car. Oh, yeah, I mean, that doesn't cost anything.

That, hey, that costs a bit of pain sometimes. But I love, don't, no. Q J-Lo, where was J-Lo? There she is. Sorry, no, I don't know how J-Lap if you want to happen anymore. When you want to sing, I just go, I'm not freaking mad about it. I got machine going, Kelly.

Thank you so much. Where are we out with getting me tickets, by the way? No. I thought that was the reason he hated you. You hated him. Anyway, this is, investors are now spilling into this $75 million, pouring this into the seed races. 75 million? Who's the major sponsor?

It doesn't say, but I'm presuming just rich investors. Okay, so it's not like brand name. No, no, no. You'd get a stadium. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's not Apple. No one wants to be the brand name associated with the sperm race. Spirm race by Nike. Just do it.

Spirm race by Bingley. Benley. Lino. No, mum, I don't want to raise sperm. Oh, they're not advertising with us anymore. That just came out. Keep going. I know, sorry.

Young men. young men can race to see who's got the fastest and the hardest sperm. Now, this isn't just to see how quick your sperm is. What else are they testing? They're not doing hurdles. No, no. This is also to raise awareness for fertility, as we know. Oh, no, that's important.

Oh, Hunter IVFs. Yeah, I know they should. Last weekend, Eric Zhu flew three sperm influencers to their house. Right? They filmed it on YouTube. He got them to jizzing a cup in the bathroom. What do you mean sperm influences? Sorry, sorry, just influences.

Like, the sperm did not be needed in their way. I'm a bit rattled right now. I was going to say, were they, are they known for this sperm? But no, just influences. No, they just influencers on YouTube. Sure. They got them all to go into the room and do their, do their, do their, yes. Testes, they got a chance.

They did their thing, and then they built a racetrack in their house, and they did it, and they put it alive on YouTube to watch it. Wow. Apparently, lots of people want to get involved. They're garning this. They're also going to make gummy vitamins called sperm worms. What to help? Help you load up and lock you in.

Oh, you know how we interviewed the guy from the inhaled. And we're going to see that penetrate this sport. Aaron D'Souza. Thank you very good. You very much might. Maybe. With $10 million. Apparently it's quite exciting.

They play music and they release them and everyone in the crowd cheers and watches and stuff. What's the duration of time? Like how long, you know, Usain Bolt can run the 100 in less than 10 seconds? How long can champion sperm race? It's a great question. A sperm race. It doesn't actually have a time of the race. Because like how long are you watching a video of sperm's?

The one in April, which we covered on this show, It was two minutes. The track or the circuit. That's a good hustle. Swam through was two minutes. Imagine if you're just watching your little guy hit a wall and the others are going up, he just can't, you know. Your partners, they're going,

maybe you're not the one I want to have kids. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about this. So anyway, the sperm races, guys, got a lot of money back behind it. Unbelievable. Being leasing on it. It's going to, it's blowing up. Okay, so just.

Oh, man, I'm going to need a minute to come up. I came in here excited, Ducko, excited to show off how I've level jumped with Mr. Closed Book himself, Shy Guy. You guys went out yesterday. We challenged Shy Guy to do something with you off air and you said, well, he said you never asked me. That's right. And I, you know, once I was able to get my heart rate back down because I feel like the invitation has been offered many times, the request has been offered many times.

He's denying that. I said, right, fine. What about today? because, well, I've got to go shopping for cereal. Should we do that activity together? I went, I don't want to just do work admin with you. I want to really bond. And how do we bond better than over a meal?

So after we tick off the cereal, can we go have a meal together? Yeah. He did proffer it at the end of the show. Sure. Maybe we can go find a sandwich. Gets to about 1230. My first point of contention is he texts me and says, Can Babs come?

And I said, do you need a message? You need a buffer for me. Like, you are, I would consider you in my, in my close circle. I see you more genuinely than I see my own husband. He works so much at night time. Do you need a buffer to have an afternoon with me? And what was my reply to that? He said, no, she wants to come because I've got the boss's credit card and she wants me to pay for lunch.

I said, well, well, now I can't deny her a free feed if you need a buck, but I'm going to take it as you needing a buffer. Babs went home, made her own lunch. So he rocks up on his arms. Oh, so Babbs didn't go? No, no. But the invitation was offered. And I was like disheartened. I also said I don't need a buffer.

Yeah. And also, if the three of you went without me, that's just plain rude. Well, that then. But then I was thinking, well, no, we've got to see. Yeah, now you're going to invite me. You've got to cut your swimming lesson short. I knew you had swimming lessons with Flo. You said I went, he's going to cut his swimming lesson short.

Did Babbs get jealous of you going, Shaga? I'm just like, I want to come. Babs? Not really. Okay. Just wanted a free lunch. Good chats. I have wanted.

to try the place that you guys tried. It was the sandwich that got you there. I think it was the sandwicher. I was like, oh, okay, I thought we were going to try that, but that's fine. Okay, so now we're going to be new. Where isn't you and Shire? Now we'll fight and over Shire. Oh, geez.

Now, mate, look at you, the calls in a ruckus amongst the ladies. So then we tick off the admin. Got some great cereal for today's Shagai dips. Then we go wait in line and it is a 30 minute wait. This place is popping off. It is worth it. It's popping off. So we're having chats or whatever.

We eventually sit down somewhere with our sandwiches, and I say to Shah guy, hey, imagine if we saw your scrunch bum crush girl. Remember the woman he saw the other morning any malfunctioned because she was so gorgeous. I can't remember what her face looks like. But the conversation turned to, what if we saw her? And he malfunctioned again. Well, more so, what would we do? If the universe presents this opportunity, what would we do?

And this is where I have an issue, Ducco, where maybe we're not as close or level jumped as I hoped we were. Here we go. He goes, well, what are we going to do? I'm halfway through a sandwich. I was like, well, we can't let walk off. I said, I'd go get her. He goes, oh, she'd probably have headphones in. What are you going to go tap her on the shoulder? I said, I'd happily do that for you, my friend. Turns around. She's actually a to-shoe. I was like,

oh, no. Well, we played it out. Oh, dear. I'll run. Oh, no. We played the scenario out as though she's walked past. I've grabbed her, said, excuse me, can I talk to you for a second? I just want to introduce you to my friend. I bring her over. Wait, you're doing role play right now?

We're doing role play. Well, we're eating our sandwiches, yeah? You know, I can't get Angus to roll play. How did it with Shago? So we're playing it out as though I've brought her over. I think the conversation, the role play, will now become how we'll all mingle. What a great wingman I'll be. Before I can get another word out, shy go, goes, right, so you'd bring her over and then

coughed, didn't you? No, that's not exactly. That's what I said. That is the vibration. No, no, no, no, no, that's what I said, but you said it quicker. I said You go get her Bring her over

Introduce us And then you Then you leave He wouldn't want me It would be awkward It would be like Bringing your mum So I drag this girl over

And then I have to walk off Is that not the strangest Scenario in the world? That's the best wing man Put it together And you walk away Am I alone? Babbs do you agree?

I think Just you two Eating a sandwich during role play is one of the funniest things I can picture. I didn't know we're doing role play. Yeah, yeah. I, I... What do you think we were going to talk about?

Yeah, I don't know, but this is, yeah, this is up there. I think if you bring the girl over... I have to stay. You've got to... No, that's awkward for me. I feel like he'll be more awkward if you stay. But then you stay and say, anyway, I'll leave you guys to it. I'm just going to go eat my sandwich over there.

But this girl doesn't know me or him from a bar of soap. So if I walk over and be like, here you go and run off, he looks like... No, no, I reckon you say, go, this. my friend Shagai, look, we've just been discussing you and, you know, he thought you were really attractive. Your bum made him malfunction. I wouldn't say that. It was your face, obviously.

That's how I was going to lead into it. Oh, you have a butt. I didn't even see it. Well, maybe I wouldn't be a great wing man. Oh, yeah, no, I don't think you can leave with the butt story, can you? But that's what is attracted him to her. You could. Yeah.

That's my role in this role. You know what? I really hope this happens. I really, really, well, we're going to go for lunch again today and we'll try and find it. So did you then, when Shaga said that, then you'd leave. did you bring up that you're annoyed at that or did you just like No, no, I was like, I'm going to talk about this on the show tomorrow. And then he cracked it at me because I posted a video of us, you know, regaling our tail.

And he goes, message me, said, why do you tell me how to booger up my nose? I know, what's with that? Terrible wingman. This sounds like a fun time, doesn't it, Babs? But the sandwich was killer. It's great sandwich. It's up for bugs. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we're playing for $10,000. Our player today is Terry. Hello, Terry. Hey, how are you?

Terry, we couldn't be better. We've got $10,000 to give away on the first of October. I mean, what a way to start your month, hey? Yes, yes, it's also my birthday month. Oh, birthday month. Is that what you're going to spend the 10 grand on? A big birthday blowout? No, I'm actually going to spend it on a new car.

Okay, we're on. Well, maybe you'd like to look at a Volvo or a Volkswagen, because they start with V, and that's what you're going to work with. Oh, wow. All right, you're ready to rock? Oh, wow. Yes, yes. I don't know many Z things, but I'll give it a go.

It's all right. You only need to know, 10. Yeah, that's not many. We need to know. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter V, we need you to name a non-alcoholic drink. Pass.

A cooking ingredient. Vinegar. A comedy film. Pass. A sport. Volleyball. An occupation. Pass.

A zodiac sign. Virgo. A shoe brand. Volley. A musical instrument. Violin. A clothing item. Vest.

An international city. Half. Well, we came home with a wet sail there. We started a bit slow. It came home very strong, Terry. You got yourself six. Six of the best. Exactly right.

It's over half. A non-alcoholic drink could have been vanilla coke. A comedy film could have been vacation. An occupation could have been a vet. And an international city. or Vienna. You don't get the cash, unfortunately, Terry, but you didn't play well.

You get yourself $100 fuel thanks to O'Brien. Thank you. Thank you for joining the show, Terry. Why don't you wrap it up? Yep. And then open it on your birthday. Be a little present from Jess and Ducco. I will do that.

Sure. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Here's my free fuel. Yeah, exactly. Get some wrapping paper. I don't know how you wrap up $100 with a fuel, but you work it out. Yeah, put a bow on it.

Yeah, put a bow on. It's fine. And go when it's cheaper, too. Go when it's like a buck 60 or a. Yeah, yeah, don't go $1.90. No, no, don't be silly. It's not going to help you. Anyway.

Thanks, Terry. All the best, Terry. Thank you. We do play again. 8 o'clock for $10,000 up next, though. Speaking of picking up, chicks. Nice. Tensions are still high in this studio post Jess and Shaw guys pick up.

No, no, we're holding hands under the desk. You just can't see. I've worn him down. I have, there's a new place where women are going to find love, and it's not the dating apps. People are turning away from your bumbles and your hinges. Yep. Where are they going to? Two, though.

The golf course. Oh, no. Ladies, that's the wrong place to go. Four? Love. No, that's not. Jess and Shaii talked about their lunch date. They went on yesterday because yesterday to bring you up to speed, we said Shiger wouldn't

hang out with Jess outside the show. He said, you never ask. So Jess asked, and then he begrudgingly went to lunch. That's right. We did it under the guise of a serial hunting mission for Shai Guy Dips, coming up. We ticked that off at Aldi. Free clue for you.

And then we went and got a sandwich, ducko. Yeah. Now, the sandwich took 40 minutes to come. That's right. But once we got it, we found a nice little park bench. We started role playing. Chagas' favorite thing to do. Unbeknownst to me, we started role playing.

Well, we were just sitting there, and it was lunchtime. So there's a lot of passes by, and it just made me think, what if we saw? What's funny about that? The tone shift. What? What? We're sitting there. Yes, yes, yes.

People walking. Yes, yes. School holidays. It's busy. Yeah, of course. And I just thought about the woman who made him malfunction a couple weeks ago. The hot woman, hot girl. The hot woman in the scrunchy blue pants.

Scrunch bum leggings. And we never thought Charga, you know, was like that. So we're like, whoa. We thought he was mechanical inside. Yep. But Babbs witnessed at first hand this hot piece of ass. And what did you say, Babs? Oh, you're just like all the rest of them.

That's exactly what I said. She's like that. But I just then went, oh my God, my God, imagine if she was one of the people to walk past. What would we do? Yeah. So I was like, well, what would you do? I said, oh, I'll go get her. But then this is where the disagreement lay, because I said, I'd go get her, bring her over.

And before I could continue on the role player, but what a great wing woman I'd be, yeah. Shy guy said, well, then you'd need to fuck off because he would want to be left alone to do the rest of the work. And I firmly believe he would capitulate without you. Without me. But two, she wouldn't have liked that. And it would have gone no further because she would have been like, this woman has brought me over and now left me with this stranger.

Yeah, see, it's a weird one because I feel like you want the love to blossom, but also you need to stay there for a little bit to instigate conversation. And then do you leave halfway through? And I appreciate I'm being very specific because it's shy guy we're talking about. But that's who I was dealing with in my. role play daco. Do you reckon he could have handled, you reckon this little birdie would have flown on his own if I pushed him out of the nest? I don't

think so. I don't know. He could be a surprise packet. You never know. He's eating his sandwich. It's a good day. The weather's out. He's not. What you see is what you get. You already knew that before we went to lunch though. Exactly. I was trying to woo you. You wouldn't even hold my hand in Aldi. Babs, what would you prefer? This was you,

you were the girl who gets brought over. I've gone over and being like, hey, excuse me, sorry to interrupt your hot girl walk. I'd love you to introduce you to someone. I would want you to stay. Thank you. For how long? I didn't say Jess just comes over and walks away.

Just comes over, introduces, and then pears off. But like, what if you turn on me and then you're just an awful person and I'm stuck with you? Well, then that's on Jess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but she doesn't know that. If I'm not there to lay more of a foundation, more of the buffer. But if you don't think that I would be like a safe enough person, you wouldn't do that to someone. She doesn't know me either.

That's why I have to stay. There's a lot of trust in here, though, for all parties involved, which is why we want to go on 13, 10, 60. I want some ladies on the phone. Yeah, what would you prefer? What would you prefer? Would you prefer? If this happened, because this, I feel like, is eventually going to happen, would you...

Oh, we're hanging out every day until we find it, and I can grease the wheels. I am the lube, ducko, and without me... You're the flirt lube. I'm the float loop. He will not be able to use another animal and you can't swim on your own. You are not ready to graduate without floaties. You need me to be your floaties. And what about this, though?

What about you float him up? And then she's like, I want a second date. Then you're not there. And then he sinks. And then she goes, I don't want a bar. You know what I mean? See, then, then I'd love to go to dinner with them. You want to swoop in.

Okay. Why don't we do this? Let's get a couple of ladies on the phone. And you tell us what you prefer. And I also want a dude or two to say what you'd prefer if you were in Shagai's situation. Okay. Let's hear it from both perspectives. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, that's fantastic. Have you been in this situation? Have you been the, because I'll be honest with you, Doug. I've never had the opportunity to be a wing woman. You're very excited by it. I think I'd be fantastic. Yeah. 13, 1060.

Yeah, what would you do? What would you do? Because now I don't know which way you'd want to go. If you were me and you saw scrot, when you go out for a sandwich, if that ever happens. If I was a bloke and I went up to a girl with another guy and I said, hey, my friend thinks you're hot because of your scrunch bun pants. Come sit down here and have a sandwich with him. I'm out of here. That's problematic.

Yep. You know? All right. Babs is the. single one. Yep. And so she's the shy guy. I got to a guy.

I go to a guy. So you go up to a guy to get her over. Hey, my friend's been checking at your scrunch bum leggings. Boys can wear them too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you then stay? Would you be flirt with? Look, I've just got to, no, I'd probably leave.

You chuff off. Yeah, I probably would leave if it was a girl, though, a different situation. It is different. That's a thing. It's very particular. But we'd love to hear from you. Yeah, yeah. 13, 1060.

Yes. Should I have stayed in our hypothetical role? In an imaginary situation. Or are you in Shy Guy's camp? Does the wing woman, slash man, need to chuff off after introductions have been made? Educate me. I actually want to know.

Because it's going to happen in real life. It is. We're hanging out every Tuesday. Are you excited? No, I don't have time to hang out with this person. He's gone dark. I thought we were bit. I'm so disappointed.

1060. Give us a call. Please. We've got the tennis swimmer singers up for grabs. We'll get you on deck. We've had an off-air conundrum, which is spilled on air. Which are my favourite conundrums, Ducco? Because we're all living in our own little vortexes, wouldn't you say?

And it's not until worlds collide that we realize, well, hang on a minute, is the way I think we should have proceeded correct, or the way you think we should have proceeded correct. Yeah. Yesterday I role-played with Shy Guy. You guys are doing weekly lunches now? Absolutely. Every Tuesday, we're going to go shopping for cereal for dips,

get a sandwich and roll-play different. different scenarios. How many times did Chaga audibly sighed yesterday in your conversation? Do you know what? Surprisingly, not as many as I thought, but the size mainly came afterwards. I'm going to bring it up again. When he looked back at the video I posted on the Jess and Ducko story, you can see our adventures.

Yeah. And he had a massive bat in the cave. I don't know how to tell someone, hey, you've got a bugger in. Oh, yeah. Just tell me. I didn't see it. I saw the video. I didn't see it.

Oh, because I've realized because he's tall, everyone's mainly under him. You can see right up the nostrils. Oh, yeah. So it actually, that's a consideration. All I see from Shagai is groin and then nostril. She's like, what, there's this, where is he? That's, that's, that's, it's a blur. Can I find, do I climb this to get up there.

How do I do this? I'd love to help you out with that, Booger, but I can't reach. I've heard of giant bean stalks, but this. I'm groin-eyed. Where do I get these beans from? The role play that we landed on yesterday was if we see the girl he was crushing on, she is amongst us. She walks amongst us in scrunch-bubbing, scrunch-bum leggings.

I wanted to get her over, introduce her to, shy guy and then be the lubricant of potentially some flirtation. Yeah. Shy guy, very adamant, I need to have chuffed off. You want to leave. You want to leave. Do not stay. I would have made it awkward.

We've had a text from Talia. Never leave. The role of the wing man or the wing woman is to make me look good. Talia's obviously putting herself in shy guy shoes. You've got to do the work. Otherwise, she's left just trying to explain how good of a cat she is. Interesting. If you've lured the big fish over, well, then you've got to tell them.

how good I am. I don't want to do that because then I will feel egotistical and like I'm just going on about myself. Well, James has texted 0-4-8-8-106 line. You can text in any time. James has said leave. So of our poll of one man, one woman.

It seems that the ladies like you and Babs and the one woman who texted and want you to stay. That's right. We want to grease the wheels. I don't think he would do a good enough job on his own. What would be your first line? Let's keep digging down to this, Rob.

Oh, stop. Hi, your scrunch bum in the roleplay. Oh, okay. I want you need to work on my voice. Hello. So, Scrunchbub, this is my friend Shy Guy. We also spent 20 minutes on, you can't introduce me to shy guy. They'll get confused. Shai guy, what a weird name?

Okay, his name's Luke. Is he shy? So Scrunchbomb, this is Luke. Luke, this is Scrunchbomb. See ya. Hi, Luke. No, that's not, I don't, that's not. Come on, go.

Talk to me, Luke. I'm right here. What sandwich are you eating? I just be like, saw you. the other week. Oh, where did you see me? You looked very beautiful. Why was that beautiful?

Was my face or my bum? I would love to get your number. My, ooh. Oh, you'd go straight for number. You go right forward. That's it. And then she can go. No, you've got to.

I'm out of here. I don't want to hang out. But you're around the corner. I've got to go catch up with you to tell you how that went. Am I sat here? Oh, my God. Do you see why I needed to stay? Was it my bum or my face?

Give me your number now. Go. You're telling everyone to chuff off. I'm paraphrasing. You need a win. Wait, but he's that assassin type. Like, he's that, like, you know, treat him, keep him king. She's either interested or she's not.

I'm not going to waste her time. What if I said, what if I said, I'm interested, but you need to talk a bit more. Yes. I don't want to give my number to a stranger. Call me. Oh, a little textie text. You reckon you're better on the phone than in the flesh. No, no, no, no.

This is just the quick meat and then later. Your biceps are so big. Do you work out? That's a lie. You've got a booger in your life. Thank you. At least you told me. Jess and Ducko.

Shy guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My moot, my muck. Shy guy dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy guys. As we should be, you join illustrious company.

That's right. It's an elite pool of people who have been able to decipher shy guy's clues. Yep. He's got many skills. We know flirting. He's not one of them. You've had a big 45 on this show,

Shagai. Massive. Yeah, don't I know it? He's going to put in an extra time sheet today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's off it. It's not your dad. today, is it?

It's all good. Hey man, the more we talk about scrunch bum leggings girl, the one he has a crush on we saw in the wild, the more we might be able to find her. Manifested, but now's about cereal. Exactly. Let's shift focus.

He's got a box of cereal in his hand. He's going to give you a series of very bad clues. If you can put them all together and tell him what he's holding today, not only do you win an unopened box of said cereal, you win a whole bunch of JD merch. Yeah, fridge magnet, jiz bit. What else we got now?

Model opener. You win everything. It's great. And also, we have a good surprise for our winners of this at the end of the year. Hey, yes, we do. And now that we're in October, that is not far away. Jeez. But 131060 is the number. Your first clue, shy guy.

A purple box. Purple box. Now just remember where these two went shopping yesterday. Thank you. Make sure you're following us on the JD Instagram and then check the story, I reckon you can see a glimpse. I don't think I did a very good job covering it up. Oh, yeah, okay.

13, 1060, first cab off the rate will also get another clue. So, it's imperative you get through first. Absolutely. Give us a call. We'll get you on. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I reckon producer Shy guys having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit,

aren't you? My milk, man look, man, shy guy dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy guy's box. We've got a box of cereal in the studio. In fact, we've got two. Shire Guy's going to dissect one, give you a series of clues. If you can work out what that serial is, you get the unopened box. I just love how much shy guys hating his morning.

It's all good. Nothing makes me happier. For a guy who chose a career behind the scenes in radio, today is not the day. We have been bringing him front and centre. He's quite prominent on the socials. I went to the kitchen to see him and Babbs make toast before because I've never actually witnessed that behind the scenes. He is furiously pressing the toast button now. I can see how angrily he smeared his peanut butter on today. Oh, yeah, it was a quick job.

She actually kind of ruins the illusion. He's a cereal guy. Oh, yeah. He's eating toast during his cereal segment. That's weird. It's just easier to consume while you're on air, you know? Fair. Hey, we go to Chris.

He's called it early. Good morning, Chris. Good morning. How are you? Chris, we're fantastic. We've heard it's a purple box. But you get a supplementary clue, my friend. What do you got for Chris?

Chris, it's 46% whole grain. Jesus. That's a huge, a lot of sense. That's a humdinger, Chris. Oh, that's a good one, that one. Can I have a guess? I'll have a guess. Absolutely.

Imagine if we said no. I don't know where we'd go for me. What kind of show would we be? I'm going to go. It's Rice Krispy Treats. Tell old's Rice Krispty Treats. Okay, that's off the beaten path because you guys said that we shop somewhere a bit unique, but it is not.

Thank you, Chris. Rice Krispy Treats. I can't imagine that's 46% whole grain. Or a purple box. Or a purple box. Now, remember, there was a supplementary clue on the Instagram story. I mean, Alex, you don't have time to check it. But did you see where we went shopping yesterday?

No, I didn't. Oh, well, never mind. What's your clue for Alex? Alex says two words for the serial, two words. Okay. Oh, can I know what's not? Oh, you're going to count that as a word? Show me, show me, show me.

The middle word is and. Oh, yeah. And is a word. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. It's three words, Alex, one of those being and. Yeah, yeah. Is it Seltanabran?

Okay, well, is there an and in Sultana brand, Alex? I don't know. We're flirting with it though, aren't we? You're flirting with it, Alex. Now, think about the off-the-beaten path, special for that, 13, 10, 60. You get another clue if you call through it right now. Purple box, two and a half words. That's maybe a better way to put it.

And remember, we didn't go to a Coles or Woolies. We go to Jaden. This man loves his cereal. Good day, Jaden. How are we? Yeah, fantastic, Jaden. We've heard purple box. We've heard 46% whole grains.

We've heard two and a half words, the middle word being, and what's your clue for Jaden? There are greats on the box. Jeez. You can probably add this to it. If I know, Jaden, he's going to hit this on the head. Is it Brin and Saltanas? Bang!

Yes! Very good, Jaden. Are you an Aldi? shopper? Yes and no. Okay, well... Aren't we all, Jay? Fair.

I'm going to answer your question with another question. Are you? Brandon Saltana's, like Alex did all the work there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is clearly the L-D version of Saltana Brand. You're the man, Jaden. Well done, Jaden. We need one more thing from you.

Yeah, so, Jane, we need you to say a quick line for us just to get you in the cancer. Just trying to give them the line. Hi, my name's Jaden. And I'm so excited. I just won shy guy's box. I came on the show, Jayden. Okay, rolling in action.

Hi, my name's Jaden, and I'm so excited. I just want Shy Guy's box. Jess and Ducco. I came on this show yesterday, and I told you all because my team, the Broncos, that a lot of people around these parts in this fair state hate. And I kind of like that they hate them, and I go for them.

It's kind of fun. Thanks to everyone who's been messaging me saying how much they hate them over the past few days. It's fantastic. You've got three supporters who are going to be watching the game. No one likes the Broncos unless you're from Brisbane. I get that. That's where I'm born.

It's whatever. It is what it is. Your blood. They're in the final. I said yes that I'm not going to go. I went in 2023 and I watched Penrith get their three peat and beat us. And it broke my heart and broke my soul. And I wasn't the same.

That's right. I wasn't the same. It took me months to get myself off the canvas. So I said yes, I'm bad. I'm bad juju. I'm not going to go. And that's good of you. Firstly, I didn't know you with that superstitious.

But secondly, that you can put your team above yourself. You know what I mean? For the greater good, you will sacrifice. Good on you. But I said to myself, if tickets land in my lap, there's nothing I can do about it, that's the universe saying, Duck, man, you've got to go. Yesterday, I had. It was.

Let's run it back Now hang on a minute Obviously I paid for them They're not cheap But they're in my lap Oh wait So landing in your wife Is paying for them

I said to my wife honey I got to do She said what about the baby I said there's no time She said it's Sunday I said there's no time Wait What happened to the superstition

I was really excited Of this layer of you That I didn't know I'm going to the grand final You don't live your life So you're not superstitious anymore Here's the thing though Jess This is where I need your help

Talk to me Because I am nervous And if we lose I think it's my fault It's not the same friend from 2023. It is. It is. I know. I know. The juju is horrible. However, however, I thought what we could do is get this Etsy witch on. Now you speak in my language. We talked about Etsy witches a few moons ago because people are for weddings, paying witches. Genuine people

to cast good weather spells for weddings. Yep. Are you saying could an Etsy witch, pivot from, hey, no rain today to Broncos get up today. Exactly. Can I put a spell on the game? And you're into that sort of stuff. Absolutely. So I figured I'd come on and tell the team that I'm going, but I need a witch. What?

What are you going to say? They're going to say 30 if you're a witch. Oh, yeah, if you have any witches in the show. We need to vet them. They're on Etsy. They're $6.37. I think we can float it. Let's buy one.

She's on sale from $16. Why is she on sale? Can we get her on air? We need pedigree. I want to know. I want to hear from people she successfully cast spells. This is nerve-wracking for me because I, you know, I've seen them lose a couple times now. Every time I've gone, they've lost.

I had a feeling. Yesterday when you were talking about, you magically superstitious all of a sudden, this friend was in the queue to buy tickets at your sister's wedding and then you pulled back because you went, no, no, no. Yeah. We are a bad luck combo. I actually, I didn't fully believe your commitment to the superstition. So I've actually, yesterday, DMed a few people.

Have you DM some witches? No. Just some friends of yours? No. Some Broncos places. Oh, who's your DM? Who'd you damn? What have you done?

What have you done? So my husband was like, none of them are going to reply. No, I didn't think they would. Because you tried to get them shout out for my birthday and no one replied. I did. And I, so I went, huh? Who'd you get? Well, I message Ezra Mam.

He won't reply. I message Cotonis Dad. He won't reply. I message Jesse Arthur's. Babs's boyfriend. Yeah. And then I message Ben Hunt. No, he doesn't have Instagram.

Ben, well, I have a connection to him. To Ben Hunt. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's wife. Found someone and said, hey. I've asked these people I haven't heard back. I understand if there's any chance.

It's a big wait for you guys, but my friend Ducko. This morning, I checked my dear. Yeah, yeah. I was going to bring this. Hey, Ducco, it's Dosa, mate. Just letting you know, on behalf of all the boys here, we do not want you at the grand final because we believe that you are bad luck, mate.

So, do us all the favour and stay home, cheer from the couch. I told them. That's not. Is that Hunter? I told them that you had bad luck precedent. That's a cheer up. And that I didn't believe that you would pull out. Who was that? Was that Hunty?

Is that he? Hey, Ducco, it's Dosa, mate. Just letting you know. Is that him? That's Doser. I was like, who the hell's Dosa? No. That's what the boys call him.

My team can't turn on me. I believe, I knew you were going to flip. I knew you were not buying into the superstition. And now you're saying, tickets have magically landed in my life. I told the boys, Ducko is a mad Bronco fan. But he has precedent of bad luck. Can you please send him a message because he's not going to believe. me. He's not going to listen to other people.

The only person I thought you'd actually put stock in is an actual Bronco. I tried to message Billy Walters, but someone told me that because he's injured, he would, let's not rub the boo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ben was the one to reply. And he told me to sit on the couch.

And he is what? No, this is horrible news. So we can still get all. So what if I go now? Well, now's a lose. We'll have to get a premium witch. I'm going to do. I'm worried. I'm worried it's going to be like at a pub, you know, Someone who caused trouble in the past. This is horrible.

Or a survey. Someone who's done a servo, someone who's done a runner. And they put your sign being like, do not serve this person. Anyway, that is a message from Broncos. I couldn't believe that. I couldn't believe he replied. Neither can I. And the fact that he said, don't come when I've just spent nearly $400 on tickets.

I made it very clear. You were bad luck. And I didn't even know you were going with the same bloke. Oh, goodness me. That's even double. This is horrible news. Oh, I feel terrible now. So I don't know if we explore the week.

I reckon if you're going to go, you either go in the trench coat and the Groucho Marx face mask. Unsees me in the stands? That's why they lose. I hope your tickets aren't good. They better be noticed. You'll hear Dave Dolan in the news on Tuesday next week on Monday. He was the reason they lost.

Well, yeah, if you want that on your head, a repeat of 2020. That's rattled me. I hate you. I hate you all for doing this. I knew you were going to flip on. I knew it was too, it was too thin. Oh, I'm superstitious. I've got to do it for the boys.

I'd rather stay home. I knew this was going to happen. I knew you were going to hustle behind the scenes. So anyway, you proceed at will, but I wash my hands of you. Oh, man, I've got some decisions to make now. I don't know what to do. I genuinely do not know what to do. I don't know when you should go.

Doza. Because now we've put it into the universe, and Doza has said, please don't come. He's obviously superstitious as well. The other ones maybe left me on red because I went, oh, who cares? Yeah, yeah. It's small potatoes. It's like, oh, no, no, let's give ourselves.

Because you know the last time he was in the grand final, he dropped the ball and over time, and then that was the last sort of game he played for the Bronx, and he got moved to the Dragons. Who are we blaming for that? I wasn't there then. Well, I reckon you're connected somehow. Yes and Ducco. A few messages coming in, doco?

Yeah, again, a few messages. After a Bronco, literally DM'd, saying, please don't come because I've heard your bad luck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because in 2020, 23, when you were yelling at Penrith players saying we won, than supporters, they won. It wasn't good. What happened?

Was it like a last minute? Yeah, it was like, yeah. You and a friend who were there in 2023 want to be there on Sunday again. You're the bad luck combo. Yeah. I just had a lot of messages coming.

People say just stick it to Jess and go. Some people say you can't go now. Now I actually don't know what to do. Hey, man, feel free to stick it to me. Yeah, yeah. The issue is who you're really sticking it to is your team. Oh, goodness.

Because you are the bad luck omen. Hey man, I don't care if you go or not. I won't remember it's on. I'm just excited for a long weekend. You're like, why's it a long weekend? It's got nothing to do with me. It's got everything to do with you. You know, I won't stick it to?

Talk to me. Teddy Swims. Wow, he has confirmed. He's going to be there. So we've got also a call of fame prize as well. Double past Ced Teddy Swims plus accommodation at the beautiful, refreshingly local Ridges Dallin Square. You're home away from home.

I might even pop in this weekend if I go and stay there, hey? I love that. for you. Yeah, I might do that. Home away from home. Yeah. I love the idea because obviously Teddy Swims was causing concern. Yeah.

I love the idea. He cancelled his shows in America because he's on tour over there because he went, I've got to be right as rain. I'll be ready. For my performance in Australia. Yeah. For the NRL Grand Finals. He was sacrificing, I don't know, Chicago to make sure he's good for Sydney.

Shepard are just waiting by the phone? Oh, damn. Teddy didn't cancel. He's confirmed. Does he need an opening? Mom, it didn't happen. Well, you know, the mum's the manager. So she's fielding the calls.

What do you think George is picking up the phone? No, it's the mum. Back to the local hall then. Say, Geron. I freaking love that song. Hey, mate. So do I. And you might be seeing it when you go on Sunday.

What are you got for us next? Hey, a girlfriend of mine, I think, has peaked. Worst way you can start your day. Yep. I have a very, very distressing photo to show you. Can't wait. Something she's dealing with every morning. do it after Olivia Dean, man I need.

Yes and Ducko. Olivia Dean. Man I need. Some reminds me my dad, because on the weekend, he was just playing that nonstop. Like, I reckon every two seconds, I was like, am I listening to hit? He just kept playing man I need. I was like, he's just bopping along to it. I was like, all right, dad.

I love it. He really likes Olivia Dean. He is keeping our playlist afloat, your dad. A lot of people can have a goal at us. All right. Stick of that one. Whereas Chris, he's. He's like, nah, I only want to hear that one.

He'd be happy with three hours of just Olivia D. He loves O.D. Wednesday's birthday. We'll do a whole day. It was before mine in September. Okay, next year, remember Shy Guy? Chris Allen, a whole morning of O'D. I don't you have another song.

There you go. She's got an album coming out soon. Very good. Here we go. It's already out. Bang, there she is. Look at that. Is it a good album?

It actually is really good. Yeah, I could see you. That's a good crying album for you. No, it's not. Oh, Arvo Tears with Olivia Dean. Are you joking? I don't cry in the afternoon. You used to.

Not anymore. Why didn't we get an update? I didn't get the memo that you'd stop doing your free PM, teary. Yeah, I go for walks now. You're unplugged walks. Yeah. Oh, so she can't listen to Olivia Dean. Let's go for a walk one day, Babs.

I'll bring flow. Okay, that sounds nice. Oh my God, Q, are you going to get a meal? Can't just walk. We don't mean, no, because eating's cheating, right, Babs. That's right. Got to be skinny. All right, you're going to walk past me and shy guys stuff in our faces.

fighting over flirting. That's right. Role playing. You'll see us doing theatre sports at the park. Us, it'll just be Jess and I'll be sat on the bench watching. I'll bring a bag of props.

My costume box. There it is. I'd love to see you in a wig. Anyway, Ducco. Anyway, your friend. You know, I'm a big perspective guy. I think it's one of the greatest tools we can have.

If you can teach your kids, wonderful, but I only learned it probably in adulthood. It's really revolutionized my life. You know? You think you've got it bad? We'll just have some perspective. What else is going on in the world? Maybe what else is going on within your family or friendship group?

And be grateful you're not going through that. One of my friends, Corley, she gave me one of these great lessons in perspective. We've talked about worst way to start your day on this show before. And that was a great lesson being like, ah, that's some bad ways to start your day. Electric toothbrush dying in your mouth, spilling a hot coffee stub in your toe. Yeah, yeah. Corley is dealing with something very, very grim. I'm going to send you a photo.

of what she deals with pretty much on the reg. She lives in an apartment building ducco. And the car park situation is basically a series of carports. So it's not underground. Oh, my God. Bro. I had this exact thing at my house. No way.

The last couple of days. So. What is that? It's a bird. It's a dead bird. It's a dead plover. I've had three of these. Shut.

I was going to tell you about it on air tomorrow. So Cooley has got all these carports. Look at this photo I took, sorry, sorry, look at this photo I took yesterday of my... Shut up! It's the same thing. Oh, my God. It's a baby dead plover. Yes, so what's happening?

And Corley had to educate me. So we had a coffee the other morning and we were going to do, we'll get into this. We're going to do a brainstorming session for an idea we've got. But she went, I can't. We should start a podcast. Okay, two girls, wine. Just pitching about our men. I love it.

Let's call it wine chats. It's going to be a TikTok series. We'll get into it another day. And then we'll do clip bits for TikTok And then we'll, you know And just clip made things like, I don't know I was like if the career ladder guy can go viral I reckon we can

But I said to her, can you bring? Just like, you know, I don't need a man Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me. Chris Allen's our first guest. But I said to her, can you bring butcher's paper and some markers? She rocked up to the cafe without him. I said, where's the stuff?

I could have brought my laptop if you weren't going to bring But I wanted tactile, I wanted pen and paper. She went, I couldn't. I can't go into my apartment because the plovers are on a rampage. Because obviously we know spring magpies are swoop and the minor birds are swooping. Plovers have taken up residents along her carports in her apartment building. They build their nest, yeah. Because I got one above my bins in a tree.

Okay. Now the issue is with the plovers, no disrespect to the plover community. Don't think they're the smartest birds. They're building their nests, yeah. We just lost all the ploverless, you know. I think so. But they're, essentially, you know how a mama bird will push the baby to make it learn how to fly? Apparently, they're falling out off the carport.

Falling to their deaths. And then being crushed by the car. It doesn't sound as bad when we play Libby Dene. It doesn't. Dead birds we're talking about right now. Why have you chosen a car park above a carport for your nest sweet plovers? So every morning she comes out, there's another. Crutched, baby plover.

What a terrible way to start your day. You know, it's funny because ours are next to the bins. I probably got dealing with that as well. But in a tree. In a tree. So I saw two the other day and just had to pick him up with a dog poo bag and put him in the bin. And then I came out yesterday and Pam had one in her mouth. And I was like, and there was another one lying next to the bin as well.

So I looked under, there's a nest above our bin. And it's, I thought maybe the storms or something like that had rocked them. Oh, they're toppling out. Well, no. So the mum, the leaves the plover birds. Is that what happens? Wow, this is Corley now. I don't know how much research she's done, but it just seems,

because she sees mum and dad up there, and then they're toppling over. I figured, like, maybe they make so many in just the weak die and the strong survive. Well, that's nature at its finest, isn't it? But it would appear, but there's still so many plovers out there. That's interesting. Yes. Because I was literally brought on the show to bring out tomorrow, but I didn't, I was like, how am I going to bring this up, though, because it's so depressing.

But we found away. I'm not like this. And you smoothed it over with a bit of Olivia Dick. Do you have a dead bird near you? Why couldn't you brainstorm with your friend? Because she had to deal with some dead. bird's in her car park. I can't wait to hear wine chats, though.

It's not wine chats, all right? Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to tell you first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. Our player today is... Lisa, hello, Lisa. Morning, how are you? Oh, Lisa, we couldn't be better. It's the 1st of October, and we want to make you rich. Rich.

What do you want to spend $10,000 on? I would like to spend $5,000 on Christmas present, and the other $5,000 go to Kmart for four hours. For four hours, did you say? Yeah, because I'd be glory. Oh, so you just get to run rampant. Oh, yeah. I've never thought about going to came up with no one in there,

but it'd be a fun store to do it. It would be. You know? You just get your trolley. You do the supermarket sweep. You just put your arm out. Oh, yeah, take it all. Pile it in.

Hide amongst the mannequins. I love that she started with. Five grand will go to Christmas presents. Family, friends, we'll look after it. That's generous, you know. But then we look after Lisa. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Well, how do you go at the game? How many yak paintings can one person get? They're like 1499 now. I go okay some days, but some days it's like, oh, thank God I wasn't on. Well, sort of a metaphor for life, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Hopefully today, is one of the okay days.

Oh, in fact, it needs to be better than okay. It does. You need 10 out of 10, Lisa, to go on your Kmart shopping spree. The letter you're going to work with is R. Solid, R for Rich. Ar for Rich. All right? Yep.

Ready to rock? Yes. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name an animal. Rabbit. A beauty brand. Pass. A kitchen appliance.

A verb Run An animated character Roger Rabbit A video game A fruit A drink Red cordial

A famous Australian Robert Irwin A car part Radiator A beauty brand Red Red

Red Right there. You were flirting with it. You were flirting. That would have given you seven if you nailed it. You didn't. You got six still. Above 50% though,

more than a pass. I would say that's okay. That's good. She did say she was okay. Revlon was what we're after. Kitchen Appliance could have been a refrigerator or the rice cooker. We talk about it a lot.

Video game Red Dead Redemption. There's a few. I think general note now for our listeners, study video games. 100%. They seem to be on there a bit. And I'm not going to say it again, but I will.

Adverb, man. Adverb, yeah. It wasn't. Today, but it's always true. A fruit could have been raspberry or rock melon. Everything else you answered, you got correct, Lisa. You don't get the full money, but you do get $100 of fuel, thanks to O'Brien. Oh, thank you.

We'll pay for your trip to Kmart. But you've got to pay for your own Kmart goods. Hopefully, you know, it gets a bit more with 100 bucks. That's a lot of trips to Kmart. Yeah, there's a couple trips to Kmart. I don't know how far away this Kmart is from Lisa. Enjoy that, okay, Lisa. I will.

Thank you very much. Thank you for joining the show. Play again tomorrow. 630 and 8 for $10,000. Up next. We've got more chances to get involved on air, like Lisa just did, for the call of fame. On Friday, we're going to give someone two tickets to see Teddy Swim.

Mr. Swim. God, he's going to kill it at the NRL Grand Final, but when he tours later this year, you could be in the audience with accommodation if you get involved in the show. Right now, though, we've got a brand new one. This is a first play right here on J.D. It's a new first play from Ray.

It's a new first play from Ray. It's a new first play from Ray. Ray. It's called Where is My Husband? Probably at the pub, Ray. Probably at the pub. There it is. I'm here.

Jess and Ducko. Your husband is coming. Brand new tune from Ray. Where is my husband? You know what? I like that. Me too. That's a bit of a bot.

I feel like it should be in a stage production. I'm seeing a lot. I'm seeing a lot. A lot of choreography, dances, costumes, high kicks. That'll be as if they won't be, like, viral on TikTok and some videos with single girls being like, where's my husband? Is there a dance yet? There's TikTok's going around.

Yeah, I'm behind the trend. Should we jump on it? Yeah. Or is it too late? Well, Babs could jump on it. Absolutely. You could. People are trying to do that weird fast verse that she did at the end.

Like sing it? Yeah, try and sing it and get it because it's quite hard. All right, everyone's got 24 hours. All right. Learn the words. Shy guy reading, obviously, a strength of yours. Yep. That's great.

Singing a strength of all of ours. Right now, there are more chance of that call of fame. Tickets to see Teddy Swims plus accommodation in Sydney. There's something we needed to drill down on a little further ducco. It was whilst you were away. Friday, you're obviously at your sister's wedding. Something was revealed about a member of the team in the podcast. So if you missed it, we were talking about kitchens, kitchen appliances.

Great podcast gear. Great podcast gear. I think I was hungry. No surprise. Obviously, the conversation. turned to preparing food. Yeah. And Babs, the youngest member of the team, now, probably important to note, is in a rental,

but revealed something about how she has to live her life when it comes to using her oven. I have to get a lighter. You're old school, man. Yeah, it's a gas oven. And I have to stick the lighter in the little thing. And I have to press, like, the ignition at the same time. Are you fucking joking? Yeah, I feel Povaz.

Does that freak you out? That scares me. Well, having to do that. Yeah, because I left the oven on overnight once. So on 131060, we wanted to ask. Yeah, they're disgust in your tone too. I just can't fathom that's how she has to live. Let alone that she could do it.

Actually, you know what we should do? She's had a date with shy guy. But Jess goes to Babs' house. Oh, no. She won't be out of deal. You won't deal. That's an afternoon there. I want to see how you light this freaking oven.

Well, I found out we had to grill, too, the other day. It's exciting, isn't it? Did you not know the symbol? No, it literally says grill, but I didn't manage to light it with my lighter, like, in the oven. Lighting the oven with the lighter's old school, isn't it? Yeah, and then you have to like hold it. It's a whole thing. The fact that she said what got me was, yes, the lighter component, but having to hit ignition.

So what? Spark your gas going. And then you light that on fire essentially just to cook your what arm a cane. Yeah. Which I assume you haven't taken. It's all the house is having. Obviously. Frozen pizza every night for dinner. You can't cook that any other way.

You have to light your oven with a flame and open flame. Problematic too, if you're a bit intoxicated, you're coming home to make your pizza after a night out. Well, I'm the only one that uses the oven in my house because everyone's too scared. Yeah, fair. What do you mean? How do they cook their armacane? Air fries. Oh, air fries, yeah, true, of course.

But I thought we could do 13, 1060, are you living in the dark ages? Yeah. What are you doing? That's old school. Yeah, what are you still putting up with? That's old school. What are you putting up with? Have you not upgraded to the iPhone?

because you're like, no, my Nokia 3310 still get service. Yeah. Are you not upgrading your oven? Granted, again, I know she's in a rental. Yeah, you can't. But I would be putting in an immediate complaint. No, no, I cannot live like this. Upgrade me to a meal.

Yeah. It's not one of the things you check on inspection either in a rental. No, well, I didn't even think to look to see if there's a gas oven. No. No. This is how we'd build differently. That's the first thing I check. Really?

Functional. I can't even put cakes in it, like bake cakes because they just go really dry. Of course. I don't know. It just dries them out. I might not have any issue with the oven that might just... It's not me. It's not me.

I can bake. And you know, you've never been able to do it in your oven. So, yeah, you're living in the dark age. Or is there something that you're still just putting it up with that's old school? You're putting up with it. That you shouldn't be putting up with. I reckon there'll be a lot of people in the rental space. Is there anything else going on at your place that you're just having to put up with?

Mold? No, we got that fixed. That's okay. We've got no fly screens either. Yeah, I don't have fly screens. I need to get some for summer. Lots of moths coming in at night. Yeah.

Just like zapping around my head. Sorry. Why are you living the doors open at night? Because it's hot? She lives on the farm. Yeah. You get it. You want that country breeze.

Because we have no aircon, maybe. She wants those breezes. And she has a shotgun next to her bag. Hey, now that we're warming up, maybe there is something in the aircon space. Do you not have the aircon. Oh, yeah. What's your dark age as aircon? Yeah, yeah.

All right. Sitting there just sitting in an esky. Are you living in the stode age, the dark ages? What have you got? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. 131060 right now. Are you living in the dark ages?

Yeah. I was really surprised to hear this admission from Sweet Babs, and it's probably why she hasn't invited us over for a leg of lamb and roast potatoes. Because her oven is something from the Stone Ages. She needs a lighter and to hold down an ignition button, and she has to fire it up that way to cook anything, to use the oven. It's like she's, you know, she's Amish on the farm. It's old school, man.

It's old school. She's like, I've just finished churning butter. And I'd love to get my Armacane. All the family, all Babs' family do is churn butter. It's weird. But all she wants... We have so much butter. There's leftovers.

All she wants as a treat at the end is a Hawaiian from Armicane. She likes the pineapple to ham ratio. But to heat her oven up, she needs a lighter. She just revealed her housemates refused to use the oven because they're scared. Fair enough, I would be too. Yeah, I would be. I'd be scared if I was one of their neighbours. 24-year-old using a lightener and ignition button.

That's asking for trouble I hope your landlord has insurance 131060 we've got to Ethan Ethan are you living in the dark age Yeah We got one of those old heaters That you plug into the wall with the gas Oh yeah

And the lights glow Yeah yeah We've got to turn the gas on Wait you smell it And then you use the bar of the lighter To try and light the heater So you're doing the same thing with the lighter Ethan that's terrifying

Yeah, it's kind of mark around and find out sort of deal, but yeah. You could just go to Kmart and get like an oil heater. Yeah, yeah, we're just not upgrading just because this one works. It's fine. Yeah, it works, but yeah, you just got to deal with the smell of gas like that. It's part of the fun with the family. The apartment we're living in, Ducco, has a gas stove. We did have induction at our place.

So I haven't dealt with gas and fire stove for ages. You know when you turn the gas stove, but the flame doesn't catch. It could be half a millisecond and I start panicking. I'm breathing in the gas. Yeah, yeah. Imagine dealing with a heater. Sonia, 13, 1060. Are you living in the dark ages?

I certainly am and have been for the last 10 years. What are you dealing with, Sonia? Well, I have a gas oven and the oven bit busted. It just wouldn't work anymore. So the top bit's okay. So I didn't have the money to replace the oven. So an air friar, I went out and bought an air friar, and I just keep replacing them.

And they're great. Okay. So you're wearing the air fry is down so much that they need replacing. Yeah. But you're happy to keep upgrading that. Yeah. Well, I'm used to the air fry now. I wouldn't like the gas oven anymore.

Sonny's house is just like 15 air fries everywhere. May, hang around Sonia's house on Hard Rubbish Collection Day. You'll pick up a very free air fry up. Might be busted. Renee, good morning. Good morning. Are you living in the dark ages, Renee? I definitely am.

And I have for over 24 years. I am the dishwasher in the house. I don't have a dishwasher. Oh, Renee. Actually, you know what? I can't believe I didn't think of it. That was the same when we bought this place. No dishwasher.

But couldn't handle it after a while. Had to get one. Carved out some of the cupboards to put one in. Have you never thought, you know what? I don't have time for this. I'm going to invest. I need the cupboard space. Okay.

The train off. Just, oh, man, washing dishes is just. the worst. God forbid you have one dinner party, Renee. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. That's right. Not only that, I just don't have enough room in the kitchen to put one in. I get it. Which is key. 24 years. Babs also said she doesn't have one either. Surprise, surprise. You know what I mean? Do you like, do you have lights or is it candles? I don't like putting the big lights on to save electricity. So we just light lamps. She's walking around with their phone torch. Hang on a minute. I'd love to get someone from AGL, red energy, is putting on 15 lamps.

more expensive than just putting on the one room line? Probably. It's the same. Ebony, good morning. Good morning. You're living in the dark ages? We were. So we had no air conditioning for two years in our rental.

Okay, so how did you manage in the peak of summer? We had like three fans going at the same time. Yeah. I don't know if it's just a thing on the Simpsons, but they wet pieces of cloth and then tie them on the fan. So it's sort of like you get an extra cooling mechanism. You did that, didn't you? Yeah, basically.

Absolutely. And if it's a ceiling fan, too, that don't work as well. They're just pushing the hot air around. Pedestal fans just muck my sinuses up. Oh, God. And you just got to follow the oscillation? Oh, you do. It's like, now my neck hurts.

And then I always just stop it when my wife goes to sleep. I just stop it on my half. She wakes up. Was it hot? I go, oh, yeah, it was boiling. Why is this fan on you? God, it was breezy. Did you feel that?

Kara, it says your mum lives off grid. Oh. She does. Yeah, she's completely off the grid. So there's been a few. really quirky way that she's learnt to live including not

using the oven which is a big gas oven that she's terrified of but my favourite one is when there's leftovers she boiled the pot of water on the stove and then she sits the pot on top like the plate on top with foil so it heats the

food up from underneath so she had to heat the food up she has to get a whole pot of okay so that's the way they're going to have to explain that to me. She gets a sauce then and then heats the water up, sits it on top, and then it like heats it from underneath. The steaming.

The steaming. Yes, yes. Jeez. I don't understand off grid. So is she in a house? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a beautiful cabin on property. It feels like a cottage.

It's had solar panels and it's all tank water. So it's like there's no bills like whatsoever. Wow. It's very, very cool. But yeah, it's just really fun because the microwave. Well, it's that too much out of the solar power that they have. Oh, it's battery and solar. I don't love using the microwave.

I might try that. That's amazing. That's what they do. But I'll tell you, it's a lot of fun when you used to go back there after the pub. It's funny adjective we're using to describe it. Oh, back after the pub, so it was a bit hard to do. Well, you'd come in and she'd be like, hang on, guys, I'd hit you up a plate of food.

You hear the pot with the boil and water come out. I'm like, gosh, you're going to boil us an egg. No, no. He's a leftover spaghetti. It was a lot. It's heating up a bit of baked dinner. But that stage you're passed out because it's taken an hour. That's right.

You've gone out the next night. So yesterday had the second swimming lesson for Flo. Now, we had one last Tuesday, and she enjoyed it. Like, she didn't, I don't think she, like, loved it or hated it. She enjoyed the water, had fun, whatever. It went with me. And then we noticed in the first swimming lesson with me, she was trying to eat the water a lot. Like, she was trying to lick it, eat it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, I mean, when you, when you. you're in the pool with them, the perspective is different because you're sort of in there holding them shy guy, they sort of float around and they don't, you know, you're just pouring water on the head and saying, here we go, and they get all shocked and sort of shake around or whatever. It's really cute. Some kids are crying. You're just hoping yours doesn't.

Sure. And then when you're in there, you can't really tell the other kids around you because you just locked into your own child. 100%. You take your eyes off the ball for one second. Justaster strike. So yes. So yesterday, Morgan went in with flow.

And Morgan was the, you know, the person holding her. I was in the outside. And like, looking around all the other kids. kids. You get the content. I was getting the content. Looking around all the other kids, I realized a couple of things. One, Flo was the only child eating the water. Like, none of the other babies. None of the other's thirsty. Four months and under, I'd imagine that. Oh, so probably five months and under. So Flo was definitely one of the older ones. Okay. None of them were eating the water. Do you know if they had been

swimming for a lot longer? No. This is everyone's second lesson because we're all the same people. She's got a taste for chlorine. And the instructor came up and goes, oh, she's a little lizard. We've got in every class and there's flow with her tongue and it's like try to eat the water were you explaining

to flow that the swim nappies they are just for catching puppy so most of that water is probably from the fellow class mates

and maybe from mummy who's to say because daddy definitely did of course he did he whee's in the bath it says or he's doing it anyway the other thing I noticed

looking at her is that I was looking at all the other kids because I'm just wondering what way flow going to go, and I was looking at all the kids. I realized, I was like, gee, she's definitely the thickest.

Like, she's the chunkiest monkey out of all the monkeys in there. She's working harder to say a fly. Because everyone who sees, everyone who meets her now goes, like, oh, she looks so nourished, or like, oh, wow, she looks healthy. It's such a weird phenomenon, fat shaming a baby.

Because people want to comment on size, because, let's be real, they're still very potatoy. So you can't, and they have no personality. So it's like, I need to say something. She's got dimples in her elbows. You know what I mean? Like, they're everywhere. And I noticed, I looked around to the other kids and they were just not as thick as her and not drinking the water.

And Flos just there floating alone. Just trying to eat the water. Just loving life. Just a little turtle. Just a little turtle. Smile. Seeing me smiling. Do they have at that age?

I can't remember when Lichia started. They've got the floaties and like the bubble. No, you're just holding them. They don't go under yet. They're not on their own. You're completely whole. You're swaying them side to side. You pull water over their head.

You might, like, push their tummy through it and whatever. Because you know how I had the whole saga? I couldn't find a helmet big enough to fit my gigantor head toddler. Similarly, when you go up to floaties, if the instructor goes, I'm going to have to go to the big kid pools to get her something to fit. Then we know. We're going to have to roll her there. It's mostly air.

She's basically, she's probably buoyant. What do you let her go? She'll eat her way there. So what we've also noticed. She's going to drain the pool. Because she's still, she's on bottle fed. now. She's on formula, but she's not started solids yet. That's coming up. Oh, of course. And what we've noticed now is she's like, she sees food and she, like,

gets really excited. Like she sees us eating food and she starts waving her arms and just getting really excited just to see the food. Well, if you think about it from her perspective, for nearly six months, all she's had is a milk or a milk substitute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now she's looking at your chicken and brown rice going, well, hang on a minute. That looks more interesting than this white syrup you've given me. Yeah. You know, that's when they say is maybe you can start introducing when they start showing an interest. It's what Morgan was saying. So I think that's what we're doing.

I think she's about to teave. And she can hold her head up? Yeah, yeah. She can't sit on her own yet, though. She sits on and just collapses still. So we're still working on. But, I mean, there's a lot of weight. So she's just...

I'm very excited for this chapter for her. Let's get her off the claw rain and get her on to avocado. Jess and Ducco. Look at the time just about done here. What a morning. Well, a morning. Been a hell of a show. You know, there was a few in five.

team debates, I should say. That's right, which I just don't know if we've landed on the solution, Ducco. That's the beauty though, isn't it? It's in the eye of the beholder. Isn't that life? Isn't that relationship? Isn't that everything? If you missed it, you can find out on the podcast how I tried to role play with Shy Guy, wingmaning for

him, if we ever find his crush. Yep. Who is out in the wild. If you own blue scrunch bum leggings, oh yeah. He thought you were fine. But yes, there was debate on how best to handle that situation. Yep. I'm worried, Ducko, because We haven't landed on the best course of action.

If we do find ourselves in her presence, we won't know what to do, and we're going to capitulate, and he'll miss out on his chance. This could be his future wife. He might, you know. But that shy guy, though. You're right. You are absolutely right. Do you, have you ever gone up to a lady before and just gone?

No. Hey, you're a bit of all right? No. At a bar or a club? No, I've never really approached anyone. You wait for them to come to you? Yeah. Have you had ladies come up to you, apart from at our drunk listener events?

Not, like, no, I wouldn't say in one. I've had a lady come up to me for you, and I've gone up to her and said, he's keen, and then gone up to you and said, hey, I said you're keen, and then you were like, no. He ran away into the bushes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd lay it up for you, baby. All you had to do is just put it in. Oh, yeah, just put it in the rim, and you didn't.

It was right there, just dunk it in. You were the Pippin to his MJ. Hell yeah. And he... Scotty Pippen was just giving you an alley-oop, my guy. He went down the ground. golf hole Not up in the space gym world

Oh hey you're on space show right Oh well I thought you were just getting a sports wrong again What one movie from another Was it just Pippin? That's a different movie Nah Scotty Pippin You're too many different people

He's just a real person Scotty Pippen I then took it to space chair Let's not ruin it So when I was in Aldi with him Yeah Desperate to hold his hand Yeah And he was fighting me off

I had three women Oh I'd love to be in your shoes Holding his hand I said well That's a lie Come to Aldi next Tuesday where we buy our next cereal.

He's so gorgeous. Yeah. In amongst the chicken breast, I want to hold his hand. Because you can just see him above all the aisles. Look that tall, thin man. Someone messaged me and said, Oh, Bangers doesn't give you as much grief holding hands. I went, he's actually pretty similar.

He doesn't like holding hands either. He likes to be ready to, you know. For action. Always ready for action. He doesn't want to be encumbered by me. No. Yeah, he's always going to have his hands ready. You never know.

Absolutely to fight off the ninjas. Hey, we've got a couple of text floating in the text line 04-8-18-106 line. Just text from the general show. We were talking about plovers, who you had a friend that had plovers, parking their garage and then... Building the nests over the carport, which means every morning she comes out to crushed baby plovers. Yeah, yeah.

Horrible way to start her day. Horrible life for a plover too. I've got a couple that have been, like, the dead plover, baby plovers outside my house. Terrible way to start your day. Anyway, someone said, hi, Jess and Ducko. I'm a bus driver, and the plovers have nests at our depot. And we try to park the buses in the depot.

The plovers try to take us on head on. Oh, my God. They start their, they do their, like, swooping in front of us, and it's meant to be in the bus. It's Bus v. Bird. They're not afraid of anything or only one, L-O-L, Scotty. Mate, that is a pay-per-view, I would put money towards. Yeah. Bus v. Bird.

Yeah, Bus v. Bird. Who's winning that? A bus, nine times out of ten. You know what I mean? Well, how many birds to take on one bus? How many plovers could take on a bus? Oh, a million. You'd need a million.

You reckon a million? Just the sheer weight difference. No, I reckon one targeted plover, beak to the windshield, you could call. Crack it. The old buses that had windows. Are you getting in? But if you can't get in, they're all an aircon. You know, on the side of the bus, where the window is for the driver, it does say,

please do not reach in through the window. That's for the plovers. Don't you be coming in through this window, birdies? That's ploverproof. That's ploverproof. We get another text as well. Thank you, Scott. Isabella said, Nan and Pop have twin tub washing machine.

That's an experience and a half. I don't know what a twin tub washing machine is. I know we were talking about being in the dark asian. I also don't know what that is. I'm going to have to Google that. Bab's saying she has to light her oven. genuinely with a lighter and hit the ignition. Oh, twin tub washing machines, the two things next to each other.

That looks very old school, but the fact that you can buy them brand new is confusing me. The twin tub washes, due to their large design, might demand more substantial laundry space. Single tub models are generally more eco-friendly. I'd imagine twin tubs are more expensive to run then. I really enjoy that you Googled Twin Tub, but appliances online has a blog post. What the heck is a twin tub washing machine? It does, yeah. So obviously that's a common question.

Someone's asked this question. Yeah, why would you be in the market for that in this day and age? You know? Great question. Why wouldn't you just go with the front loader? It's two tubs for washing your clothes. Why do you need two? Maybe you've got a big loads to do.

Oh, hold on. One on the left is so your clothes can rinse or soak. The second typically on the right is used to spin the moisture out of your clothes. Hang on. Do you mean internally it goes from the left to the right? Surely not. Is there a funnel or a tunnel? Surely you have to swap them over after time for washing and spin.

Many twin tubs are manual fill only. Oh, so I have to get it out of the left and put it in the right. That's stupid. Now, I like to set it. Walk the dog. Come back. It's ready to hang. Exactly. I don't want to come back. Put it in the second compartment. You tell your nan and pop, they're living in a stone age. Isabella.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, why don't you be a good granddaughter and get them a new washing machine? They're expensive, though. Yeah, but don't you love your nan and pop? How much would you spend as a gift on your nanopopop? You're asking the wrong person. Yeah, true. You know, I'm just going to make you feel my dad.

My grandma, because she used to give us birthday cards with money and that's what she's always gift. The one's still with us or valet sugar mother? The one's still with us. And she'd be like, oh, you didn't have to, but every time you'd be like, you had to. Anyway, obviously. What else she's spending her money? 100 bucks cash?

Thanks, Grandma. And then I'd always use it on alcohol because it was always around that Christmas or birthday time. Fantastic. My birthday's just gone. She called me and said, He's what's happening though? Because she's getting older.

She transfers you now, but then she forgets to transfer you. So she hasn't transferred me? And I saw her at the wedding and I was like, do I bring it up? Absolutely, that was the right place to do it. Hey, grandma, just, hey, beautiful wedding and all, but the money you owe me. Have you got my BSB in a account?

Is there anything more uncomfortable than knowing someone owes you money? And yes, in this instant, your grandma owes you. And having to be like, hey, you haven't paid me. Yeah, I know. So I say to Mom, like, oh, Merrill never paid me. Yeah. Did she get it? I think I must have gone to my sister.

She must have the account details wrong. It's like, have I ever told you? You tell me when we need to go. Well, we sort of now, but go. You know how I bloody had to take a second mortgage out to throw my parents the 40th wedding anniversary? Yes, yes. My dad gave my brother money. For that party?

For that party. What? My brother, who I'm not going to talk about on the show, gave me like 200 bucks as a contribution. You did everything there. I did everything and spent all the money. My dad gave my brother money. Why? My mum told me.

I don't know because he thinks we went Harvey's. But then why would he not give you... Thank you. He thinks financially you're better than your brother? Maybe. Well, your brother's got a baby on the way? No, don't he doesn't... No?

I don't want to get it. I've not... Has he told you, or not many? No, I don't know what I can and can't say about, brother. My brother got money from my dad and not me. And then I had to have that awkward conversation being like, hey. So did you get money off of him? No.

Yeah. That's weird. So it's weird. Because it is that thing. I didn't do it for him to then pay for it himself. I did it for the love. Yeah, but if anyone's going to give anyone money. But if you're going to give retributions, why give it to my brother?

100%. So, similar. with Merrill giving you your birthday present? Yeah. I bet you she gave your sister a wedding gift. Probably. But Dougos not getting no birthday present. Here's one for you, though.

I did forget to give my sister a wedding gift. Okay, well, you're not in. You know, I produced a song. I spent $300 making that parody song and then did a parody song as an MC. You know, I always look for chances to support you. But again, as the gift giver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, your sister.

I'll not support you in this case. Thank you, mate. No, that's a thousand bucks cash in an envelope. You've got to put that in the book. A thousand? I was thinking like 200. I'm so glad my sister-alope. He's ethnic.

She's ethnic. So it's just... But isn't your brother-in-law, isn't he got ethnic in him? Yeah, but I don't. Yeah, but you're now... I'm Aussie! But now, in-law,

ethnic by association. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to come to their level. I know, I actually sent him, I was like, oh, we forgot to give you your card. We left it in Flows bag. So sorry, we'll just send you money. They go, oh, you can take a photo with the card.

And I was like, oh, no, Morgan. We've got to go buy a card, right in the card, take a photo, set it to him, and then transfer the money. Done it now, haven't I? You can't throw stones at Meryl when you're just as bad. And here's what I was going to get Meryl's money from me and then give it to them. What are you and Merrill go harbys for your sister?

Love Nan and your brother. That's a hell of a combo. Yeah, I'm actually going to do that. What are you going with my brother? Because he's cashed up now. I'll just text him. He's got plenty of shirt. Actually, I'll get some of Angus's freaking flypoints and just give him that.

I'm sure Laura and Alex would appreciate it. Hey, we're out here. We're back tomorrow. It's Thursday. Alva Bucks is back, more chances of the call of fame. We'll all be here. Shogga, what else is on tomorrow? Well.

That's the one second song game. One second song game. That's what we're up to. Wow. I look forward to it. I look forward to it. Hey, we'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye.

Bye. Lion of. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. The new McCrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today.