Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Meow

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

We open Jess & Ducko love court, someone dissed Ducko on the street and we find out your expensive mistakes!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Welcome everyone to the podcast. Happy Friday. Happy Friday. Happy Valentine's Day. Big show for you all today, you know. Big show. Swings and roundabouts.

Yeah. Talk about the sound a sphincter makes into a love court. Yeah. I mean, you just can't pick where the day's going to go. You never know. Sphincter sounds, love court, and then how expensive was your mistake? Absolutely. Oh, goodness.

Where we tried to find someone who'd been tip diving. Yeah. Unfortunately, all the calls were just about the mistakes. So we'll put it out again here. If you have had to find something that was accidentally thrown out at a tip, we'd love to hear from you. Please slide into the DMs, Jessanducko on Instagram. Yeah, how far did you go for it?

Next time you visit, can you please ask if you're allowed? Yeah. I really want to know. Like, if you said engagement ring or you said something really sentimental, Nan's ashes, something like to tug on the heart. Oh, no, like I just threw at my grandma. Yeah. Something to tug on the heartstrings?

Yeah. Maybe. Would they let you? Yeah, shut it down for an hour. You've got an hour to find it. Depends what it was, I guess. We all suss it out next time I head to the Summer Hill Waste Management Treatment Plan. Please do.

Remember we did the Ultimate Acts of Friendship this week? Asking someone to sift through a tip with you. Like if you accidentally threw out Sugar Mama's ashes and gave me a buzz going, Hey, I've been able to shut down the Summer Hill for an hour, but I need all hands on deck. Let's get my friends out there. We'll all go tip-top. Can you help me? I think I'd rather help you move house than go through a tip.

That's a tough carry move. Can we just pretend we've got our ashes in something else? You want a kidney? I'd rather give you a kidney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, truly. Very much so. You just empty the vacuum bag being like, these will do. It's just a sentiment at this stage.

Honestly, how many times has that actually happened? Probably a lot. Probably a lot. Probably a lot. I've never actually held ashes or scattered ashes before. You know my neighbour, Kev? Yeah. He had a beautiful golden retriever named Cosmo, 13 years old. Cosmo left us a little while ago.

We went over to Kev's for dinner. On his sideboard, like, you know, there's the cabinet in the kitchen. Big, nice wooden box, engraved Cosmo. Oh, it's his ashes. It's his ashes. And he's not going to scatter them. He's going to leave them inside. Yeah, they're just in the home with a nice picture, like a shrine.

I need to scatter them. It does feel. We take Pam to the beach, I reckon. The home of where she gets her UTIs. It, oh, what a, it's like the circle of, you know, life. I put them really low in the sand as well, just to get that vaginitis one more kick. Love that. Bury that.

Imagine how many dogs would absolutely go mental. You know when your dog has peed and then a dog will come past 24 hours later and go, who was here? Who was here? Imagine the scent of a vaginitis infused ash. That would be special for some dogs out there. Dogs would go absolutely ballistic at that beach. Yeah.

Oh, they'd love it. It'd be nice. It would be nice. And she'd out there. Dogs would go absolutely ballistic at that beach. It would be nice. And she'd live on. She would forever at that beach. It's not contagious, is it? Once it's been incinerated. I think the UTI's gone. Because remember we learned if you bury your dog in the backyard, be careful.

If they've gotten the green dream, that's potentially poisonous to any other creature who comes along. Yeah, and digs it up. So the vaginitis, if it's still lingering, be careful. That would be very tough. It would be tough. Anyone in this room carried ashes before or thrown them away? Or had vaginitis. Yeah, you can share your vaginal stories.

No vaginitis? No. Have I been to? I've witnessed a cremation in India. Ooh. Yeah. On the bank of the Nile. Literally a family coming. Just burn it like the gladiator days. Ooh. Yeah. On the bank of the Nile. Literally a family coming.

We'll just burn it like the gladiator days. Yeah, man. And only men. Only men were around. But it looked like a female body. She was wrapped in what looked like a sari to me. Yeah. And there was a man sitting next to us and he just sort of chatting.

He then ended up asking for a tip. So I think he was just sort of sprouting his own tour business. Right. But he was like, do you guys want to know what's going on here? And we were like, yes, please. Well, my God, is this just something that happens in public? He goes, yeah, this is absolutely part of the culture. Did it smell?

But no, it smelled good. Oh. There's a thing. They put a bit of thyme on it or something? No, the woman. A bit of sage. A butter. Not normal butter, like a body butter to, yes, counteract the smell of burning flesh.

Which apparently is meant to be horrible. Horrible. Like a body butter to, yes, counteract the smell of burning flesh. Which apparently is meant to be horrible. Horrible. But this man was explaining many years ago a woman was at her husband's cremation and flung herself into the fire because she was stricken with grief. So it became a bit of a thing women aren't to attend because of the danger that they will do that. So it was only men in attendance who had prepared the body, lit the fire, lit the pyre. Her feet weren't in the flames. So all that was left were her feet.

It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen in my life. Oh, wow. And then they sort of rearranged to then get the whole body. It was wild. But such a religious, holistic thing. Such a moment. I think it might be Hindu culture. It would actually be special, like burning a body of love on your stand around, like Game of Thrones-esque.

Absolutely. It would be different. When we cremated, I think, my grandpa, it was like they go in and you leave. Yes. And then you're presented at the end. It's not like you're there for it. How many times did they fucking mix up the ashes? How many times?

And they're dense. Like that's a big... They're heavy, aren't they? They're heavy. Yeah, Karen Grandad's heavy. Isn't it mostly coffin? Well, I didn't think they put the coffin in. I thought it was...

They put the body in. They incinerate the body. Someone told me there was coffin. The ashes are only like 10%. The rest of it is just the wood from the coffin. Is the wood? I don't think so. I don't. They incinerate the body. Someone told me there was coffin. The ashes are only like 10%. The rest of it is just the wood from the coffin. Is the wood? I don't think so. I don't know if that's factual or not.

I always find it interesting that you pay for a coffin to just get it burnt. Yeah. You know what I mean? Coffins aren't cheap. But you don't rent them. Yeah, but I'm saying to do a cremation. You buy a coffin to bury your loved one because putting just a body in the dirt feels wrong. But to cremate.

The body is placed in a combustible coffin. so it's a different type of one than what you buy, which is then placed in a cremation chamber. The chamber operates at 1,000 degrees Celsius for about one to two hours. I wonder what a cremation chamber is. It reduces the body and the coffin to ash. So it's a coffin in there, but it's a... Coffin in a coffin. It's like a...

Something else. It's like a, yeah. Good for the environment. Something flammable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More like a wooden box. Yeah, why? Rather than like the really. Something flammable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More like a wooden box. Yeah, why? Rather than like the really nice mahogany coffin.

Yes, yeah. Would you rather be in a box or an urn? You'd rather be scattered, but if your family was going to keep you. An urn probably. An urn feels more. An urn feels nice. Feels more regal. Unless it was a box that you could sort of open and you could look in and like take a

dip in me and put it in your tea or something. I love that. That'd be fun. So you'd go on? Yeah, I'd go on forever. I'd just scatter Pam in one spot. You could do a teaspoon here, a teaspoon there. Take her overseas.

She's never been on a plane. You don't know what the duck man would taste like. You don't. Don't knock it till you try it. I could be delicious. Don't knock it till you try it. I could be nice. That could be a fun little blind taste test.

One of these has sugar. One of these has ducko. Can you tell? Which one's rich? It's like we'll do the breast milk taste test. One of these is full cream. One of these is Morgan. Yeah, yeah.

One of these is, you never know. You never know who's. The possibilities are endless. I did broach that with Morgan yesterday. I said, hey, so when you are breastfeeding, I'm going to need to use your boobs and breast milk and stuff. For the laser tag? Just for a few radio things.

And she's like, what? I was like, yeah, yeah. Squirting comps. She's not a. We're going to shuttle on air. I don't think she's at the point yet. And she'll get there where you just don't care no not yet so she'll get there where she's like sure let's do it you know i want to see for myself yeah yeah i um i'm trying to make her do a maternity shoot she doesn't want to do one at all like not one

beer and she's like not even like a just a nice no she said she said I'll go to the beach with just you and you can take photos on your phone. I was like, well, that looks fucking weirder. We know so many friends who are good. It's not like it has to be a stranger. She's very conscious about photos. What about at your home? Like just at home, you know, a nice tasteful one through the window or in the garden. I want to be on the beach.

You've just landscaped your front yard. I know. In amongst the lily pillies. The dead lily pillies. The sunrise or the sunset is love. I know, on the beach. And she's like, I do it like jeans on button. I was like, why don't you do it in like undies and bra or bikini?

And she's like, I don't want to do it. Has she been taking, and if she doesn't want you to share, please feel free. Has she been taking photos of herself and stuff? Yeah. We've taken like every couple of weeks progress shots. Yeah, do that in the same spot. So nice to have. I know. She doesn't have to put it on Instagram, obviously couple of weeks, progress shots. Yeah, yeah, do that in the same spot. It's so nice to have.

I know. She doesn't have to put it on Instagram, obviously. That's what I said. I was like, I'm not going to post a maternity photo shoot, but like, let's may as well do I mean, I've printed four of them and have them around my house. I know you do. Not everyone has to do. I was in some of them. Yours is on my desk.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love it. I know. Oh. I know, it's a shame. I don't want her to regret not doing it. I know, and I think she will regret it.

So I'm working on her. That's good. Talk to Reese. Would she be comfortable with a man or a woman, do you think? A woman. A woman? Yeah, regret it. I'm working on her. That's good. Talk to Rhys. Would she be comfortable with a man or a woman, do you think? A woman. A woman? Yeah, a woman. She'd need a woman.

Would she be comfortable with me taking it? Possibly. I could do it. I'm not obviously a photographer, but I could take my iPhone. Yeah, yeah, possibly. And we could both be in it. Yeah, okay. Float that.

That would be funny. You'd love to sum together. And yeah, all right, maybe some corny ones where you're holding the belly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously. You've done it for me. You've got to do it for me. It'd be less awkward doing it for my wife. Yeah.

I mean, I thought it was a nice moment for us, but no, that's fair. I can imagine how you kind of do it. Then we have Shaga like holding the thing for the lighting. We've got Babs there as well. Oh, the reflective thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Babs running in to touch up the makeup and hair. Yeah, we can do a whole team one.

I've told you I've had to turn the comments off our maternity shoot photo. Because people thought what? We were getting inundated. I don't know what part of the internet it went to, but it started with the rice cookers thinking it was hilarious and actually quite beautiful and a real moment in our friendship. It obviously went to some corner of the internet where people thought we were in a thruple. Oh, hilarious. And people were asking who actually was the father.

People were asking who impregnated me. Oh, my goodness. People were asking about, like, our... It got... It got weird. It got too hectic that I couldn't handle it. So I've turned comments off. Oh, that's such a shame.

Maybe I'll reignite them all to see if it keeps happening. But... Thruple is funny because I've always... And in different languages, too. I had to do translate. Arabic, German, Italian. I'm going, where has this photo gone? Yes, yeah.

But anyway, circling back to yours. Yes. Offer me. Okay. Offer your friend Hannah. Like, whoever she's comfortable with. Yeah, yeah, I will. I don't want her to regret not having that.

I'm working on it. And just getting grainy iPhone photos in the bathroom mirror. Yeah, no. I'm working on it. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, the belly's nice. It's so, it's bloody miraculous. It's bloody magical.

I have a digital camera. I can do some cool digi. Here we go. Old digi shots. I've got a digi cam. That's nice. That would be fun. Okay.

I'll offer Babs the services, Jess the services. We could. I've got a drone doing an aerial shot. We just made this thing massive. Top view. Morgan rocks up. She's like, why is Shaga and Babs here? What's going on?

We need a director. We need cinematography. This could be fun. This could be fun. This could be fun. It's our gift to you. I like that. You haven't done your registry yet. Take that off your list.

I need to speak to you about that too. Yeah, okay. Take that off your list. That's our gift to you, the shoot. Hey, if she wants us blindfolded, we can just blindly try and take shots. Are you in the frame? Is that more comfortable? Yeah, yeah.

That would be so funny. I'll put it to her. Put it to her. And I'll bring it up on air next week and see how she reacts. Force her head. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Friday team. Welcome to Friday.

Welcome to Kylie Day. Kylie Day, yes. And welcome to Love Day. What day is it? It's Valentine's Day. Is that today? It is today. My alarm went off.

My husband, God, he's just really on my wavelength, Ducko, rolled over and went, happy Valentine's Day. Like before I could say anything, I went, sweetheart, you've already given me a bunch of roses and a bottle of wine. If he didn't do that. You're fine. Really? Yeah, because, you know, he's been, don't yuck our yum.

Don't yuck our yum. You know, he've been working flowers. Yes. Please. And wine. You tell me that. You wait till the marriage goes another couple of years and you're like, ah, where is it?

You tell me you and your wife don't celebrate and that's fine because every day should be love day. That's right. So that's nice. You're doing it 364 days out of 365. But yes, rolled over this morning. I went, oh, sweetheart. Lovely.

So I hope you're having a nice day, whatever you are doing. Filled with love. Can be romantic love. Can be friendship love. Can be colleague love. Can be pet love. Whatever it may be. You came in giving us gifts as well. Totally. Little sweet treats for my sweethearts. Well, yours is sour because you like sour things. So a little sour treat for my little sweetheart. Well, yours is sour because you like sour things. So a little sour treat from all the sweethearts. Yes, yes. A little sour treat for the sour man. That's right, that's right.

Shag, I guess, a little Twix. Thank you. Is it appropriate to eat that, like, now? No rules on Valentine's Day, Dale. Good to know. Do whatever you want. Yeah, you can eat that whenever you want. That's right.

I didn't know you liked Twix. I love a Twix. Neither did I. I just dropped that in Convo yesterday. I was going to bring him a bag. Because you said you liked them, I think. Yes,. I was going to bring him a bag of frozen peas because I've got that on my list.

I would have taken that too. Shy Guy said he liked peas once. What would you do if you got a bag of frozen peas? I got that for my birthday last year. That's right. Did you ever use it?

Yeah. I think I've used the whole bag by now. Surely, yeah. I was about to say, it's been a long time. You haven't made your best pea recipe.

Seven months ago. Like, what do you use them in? Just put it with stuff. I don't know what. Casseroles and just chuck them in. Boil them up. Steam them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm trying to think. I only put peas in a recipe with a big dish. Oh, you don't have them as a side. No, I don't have them as a side. Oh, see, I don't mind a pea side. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I should do that. Just a nice big bowl of peas.

Yeah. I do it like I put them in a Tupperware container and then put hot water in there. I didn't do it on the stove because I like it better the other way. It might be a weird thing to do, but that's how I do it. Say that again. So I boil the pea. I put it in a Tupperware container. Oh, yeah.

The frozen peas you put in a Tupperware. Like boil the kettle, put the hot water in, seal the container. That's all in a tanker, right? And then refresh it. Yeah. I don't bother putting it on the stove because that takes too long. I guess that is the same principle as what you're doing. That's how I like steam my veggies.

Yeah. Just put them in the microwave. There you go. Same thing. Yeah, yeah. It is cumbersome getting that little pot out, getting the steamer out. You're washing three things with the lid, all that. I don't do that.

That's not bad. It's busy. Okay. Yeah. My mum does the old school steaming way, which I think makes the vegetables nicer. I think they're nicer. What, with the saucepan and all that? Yeah, I think they're better. A bit more crunch. You know why? Because you're not putting the hot water

directly on the veg, probably. They're soaking in that. They're boiling, essentially. Yeah, and you'd only need that for probably like five seconds, really. There's a steam doing it, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But the other way is submerging the boiling water is probably bad for the pee. I had a stakeout last night with veg

as the side. Bok choy was one of the veges they gave me. What did it say? Like just seasonal veg on the side? There was a carrot and there was broccoli. It was bok choy. Not to put bok choy in a box, but that's for Asian food. It was damp. It was very wet. It's a limp veg.

Like when you get a ramen or a laksa, like an Asian soup, there's the damp. It was very wet. It's a limp veg. It is a limp. Like when you get a ramen or a laksa, like an Asian soup, and there's the whole thing of bok choy. You go, I can't pick this up with chopsticks. What am I meant to do with this? I like it chopped up in a dish. But it was a very weird thing to have with a steak. Yes. Yeah, it was odd. But I had it. That's obviously

crap we've run out of beans. Yeah, it was like, here's the last one. What have we got in bok choy? Chuck it in. Sitting in the pot for like days. Just draining it. Here we go. Pluck it out of beans. Yeah, it was like, here's the last one. What have we got in? Bok choy, chuck it in. And we've been sitting in the pot for like days. Yeah. Just draining it. Here we go. Pluck it out of the veg, Asian dish. Just put it on the side of this bloke's steak.

Yeah, that's what it was. Okay. Well, good to get your greens in. Yeah, it got me. High iron, good vitamins. Yeah, it felt good. Yep. That's going to be a big show as well.

Absolutely. Because it is Valentine's Day. So we do have a little love of surprise for you. We're doing Valentine's Day our way. That's right. We're going to spice're doing Valentine's Day our way. That's right. We're going to spice up your Valentine's Day. We've got a Minx Adult Erotic Boutique vouchers for a lot of our callers today.

I'm going to say pretty much every caller gets involved. Absolutely. It's free toy Friday. Free toy Friday. Yeah. But we are going to open up Jess and Ducko's love court. Yes. So we want to help settle squabbles on this day of love. Yep. Let's put the pettiness settle squabbles on this day of love. Yep.

Let's put the pettiness aside and just definitively get some rulings for couples around, you know, the state. Yep. And we'll hook you up with a celebratory toy. That's it. Yeah, you get a toy out of it. You know you want it. You can get whatever toy you want. We're not choosing it.

That's right. Be warned. Just because you're the one bringing the case does not mean you automatically will be sided with. Exactly. You know, we heard some others earlier this week and some people didn't like our ruling. Yeah. But too bad. We are the judge and jury.

And executioner. Sexy executioner. Sexy executioner. Yeah. Plus, as you said, it is Kylie Day and we've hooked you up as well with accommodation as well. The newly opened Ridges Australia Square. Refreshingly local hospitality in the heart of Sydney. So you can go stay at that beautiful place, plus go to Kylie.

Oh, my God. Call of Fame. We draw it today. There's your weekend sorted. You don't have to worry about a thing. Yeah. How good. I had This Is Kylie Minogue on repeat yesterday in the car, right home.

Just going for it. Just going through her back catalogue. Fantastic. Yeah. Very good. But next, it's No Dumb Thought Friday. Oh, my God. We love this. Yeah. 131060, if you want toumb Thought Friday. Oh, my God. We love this.

131060, if you want to get involved for a chance, maybe at those Kylie tickets. And sex toys. Oh, my God. We've got that many to give away. Why not? Have one. You have one.

Have you been thinking something dumb? Shona's desk has been vibrating for days. They're just all in there. Make sure you put them all back on charge. I don't want to be sending out half-flat toys to the cookies. No, we'll send you ones. We don't want to send you ones. Oh, these are extras. They're cleaned.

Georgie's just so generous. Very nice. So we've got No Dumb Thought Friday 13, 10, 60. If you have one, there's no such thing as a dumb thought. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the

stupidest thing I've ever heard. People say there's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. People say there's no such thing as a dumb question. But here at JDHQ, even if it's just a thought. Yeah, no such thing. You're not really putting a question out to be answered. You've just had something in the back of your mind and not a safe space with which to share it. Yes, this is it.

This is it. This is that safe space, 131060. Kylie Minogue and toys to give away. If you call through and get on, you get a toy. You're getting that old voucher anyway. You get a toy. You get a toy. Oprah would be so proud of us.

She'd be so proud. I had a dumb thought just the other day, Ducco. So earlier in the week, I was desperately low on petrol, but I had the one-year-old with me. Now, I, for 15 months, have avoided having to fill up my car with her in it. Right. I just thought it's too hard having to get her in and out. I'll just try and avoid it.

Couldn't avoid it any longer. So I went, I'm going to have to do it with her in the car. Let's see how this works. Rolled down all the windows, got out of the car and went, she can see me, it'll be fine. I thought I'll take her in to pay but just while I actually do the pump part, lost her mind. So I got'll take her in to pay, but just while I actually do the pump part, lost her mind. So I got like five bucks in and gave up.

I thought that'll be enough to get me home. She was crying while you were feeling it. She obviously thought I was going to abandon her. Right. So we forgot about that. So yesterday when I was on my own, I'll fill up the rest of my tank. But I obviously still had some of that other petrol. I went to a different servo and they didn't quite have the same. I think I'd used 95 at the first and 98 yesterday.

Do you think my car now has a sore tummy? You know when you mix foods? I do often wonder when you mix petrol. Yes, like does that feel funny in the guts? Particularly if you're not 95 into 95 from your station. If you're going 98 into 95. Yes. Or ethanol into 98 or something.

Something. You know, if they've got one with the Woolworths discount, I might do the more expensive one because I can get the four cents off a litre. Yeah. But the one I went to was like a Shell or whatever. Conflicting rewards. Now I can't stop thinking, oh, my walk car. Is my car sick?

My walk car feels probably bloated. Yeah, he's probably got IBS. Probably. He could have been mixing, it feels like mixing dairy. It does. It feels like you're having a big Thai dish with a Chinese dish. Yeah, I mean, that's the same continent. But, yeah, exactly.

I know what you mean. It's, I feel bad. Yeah. I feel bad. It's bad for it. Yeah. Poor thing. I don't know how it's going to go on.

And I don't know how long it takes for it to come out. Exactly, because now it's commingled. Do I have to wait until it fully goes empty and give it a nice restart? Yeah, maybe. Or you need to sit in your street and just rev it. Just rev it. Not bad. Get my Vin Diesel on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you've just got to get through it. Like Barley Belly, you've just got to get through it. You do. They say it's bad to mix petrols for the cars, you know. Do they actually say that? I don't know. I think ethanol's pretty bad.

It feels like it shouldn't be nice. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. I got given one, actually. Okay. From a rice cooker. Please share. They had this discussion at a pub, and then I got a message straight away saying,

you need to talk about this, so no dumb thought Friday. You're the dumb thought guy. Take it to the people. Blind people have seeing-eye dogs to help them, obviously. We love seeing-eye dogs. Yes. Who picks up the people. Blind people have seeing eye dogs to help them. Obviously. We love seeing eye dogs. Yes. Who picks up the seeing eye dog's poo? Don't they just know?

Isn't that a brain rattler? I don't know. I know this isn't correct. But you know you see those service dogs, like seeing eye dogs and others that maybe are helping people with limited mobility. They're so good at their life. They pick up after themselves. Well, that's what I'm thinking.

Or do the blind people just know and go, it's got to be around here, and they just have to fiddle around? I don't know if this is stereotyping in an inappropriate way. I will preemptively apologize. But I have heard that when one of your senses fails you, your others pick up. Yeah. So his sense of smell when one of your senses fails you, your others pick up. Yeah. So his sense of smell and sense of sound.

Oh, you reckon sniffing it out. Is that now heightened that you are able to ascertain? Or do they get a free pass? I'm not getting mad. You don't need to pick it up. I'm not getting mad at a blind lady. Yeah, true. Who isn't picking up after a dog.

I think I would probably go and pick up after her. If you didn't know they were blind, no one was seeing a dog, you're like, you're going to pick that up? Oh, God, I'm so sorry. You know I hate confrontation. I'll do that. I ain't yelling at anyone to go pick up their dog's business.

Yeah. I just thought that was... That if you are blind or you have a blind person in your life and know the answer... Oh, here we go. Kim's called in. Wow, Kim, before we even had to say it.

Kim, good morning. Good morning. Are you vision impaired or do you know someone who is? I know people who are and that's how I know. Okay. It's actually a very common question that gets asked at different events. Yeah, right.

When they're going to the toilet, obviously the person can run their hand down the back of the dog's body with a glove on, obviously, and the bag ready. And they can locate where the business is from that. So are you saying the dog almost knows as well, right, I have to stay put? And do this here. And this is part of the process so my owner can pick up after me? Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much. Obviously, they're not going to suddenly do a poo anywhere they are. They will let the person know that they need to go to the toilet and then obviously can be ready and let them know. How do they know they're going to the toilet? Is there like a bark? Is there a bark or is there a way that they nudge their leg or something? Oops, sorry, I lost you then for a second.

What was that, sorry? How does the dog let the owner know I'm about to do some business or I need to do some business? Depending on the dog, some of them will have a certain sound of the wine. A certain wine. Oh, that's interesting. That is amazing. Thank you, Kim. I guess it's a symbiotic relationship, isn't it?

Yeah. The dog knows. That makes me like him more. When my dog does business, he's out of there straight away. It's like, get me away from this mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas the seeing eye dog knows, no, no. Come here.

This is part of the dance. Yes. Kim, thank you. Toys coming Kim's way. Oh, toys. Yeah, you're getting sex toys. Not dog toys, knows, no, no. Come here. This is part of the dance. Yes. Kim, thank you. Toys coming Kim's way. Oh, toys. Yeah, you're getting sex toys. Not dog toys, mate. No, no.

Last, let's wrap up with Jacob here. Jacob, you have a no dumb thought Friday for us. Hey, legends, how yous going? Good, Jacob. We're so good, Jacob. That's good. Yeah, no, it's a bit of a thought. It's about clouds, and I don't really trust them.

But there has to be a certain amount of clouds that could fill the earth at one time, right? Yeah. Okay. Do you mean like the sky is a finite space, so there has to be a cap? Sure. Well, there has to be. There'd be 100% cloud, do you know what I mean?

Sure. So I'm looking at a cloud right now. Do you reckon that was like in China or something the other day? Oh, I love that. As in like your clouds floated here from China? Yeah. Yeah, that's like. I mean, sky, sky.

They've seen the exact same cloud I've seen? Yeah, that's a good one. It's like, you know, we all see the moon, albeit at different times of the day. It's the same moon. So is the clouds the same? I feel like clouds, one strong puff of wind. Yeah. See, it disappears.

They disappear. Bit of rain, it's gone. But I guess they then reform. Yeah, they do. Is that technically the same cloud? Is it the same cloud? Has it the same identity? Has it only been the same bunch of clouds since the dawn of time?

And they just keep dissipating and reforming. Oh, I see. And reforming all over the world. So technically, we're seeing the same clouds our ancestors saw. Or is it new cloud? That's just science. You know what, Jacob? That is science.

And you, my friend, are getting an adult erotic voucher. Oh, I thought you said it was a toy voucher for Lego or something. Wrong sort of toys. Wrong sort of toys, Jacob. Play with both. Jess and Ducko. I can't stop thinking about the sound my friend made when we were talking about the sounds

a butthole makes. Her and her boyfriend. There's a sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's taking up a lot of real estate in my brain, Ducco, a lot. Yes. And I need to get a temperature check maybe where her head was at. It's just dinners now, is it?

What she was thinking. What does yours make? Yeah. We talked about the chicken. Yes. We talked about the chicken. We talked about the baby. We talked about them moving and then it became butthole sounds. Okay. So her boyfriend was describing having a bout of illness and was trying to describe how,

you know, dicey it was for a little bit there, you know, having to go about his day and not knowing what was going to happen because he didn't have control. Oh, right. You get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's trying to describe his downstairs, how it was sort of failing on him.

Oh, like the sphincter, everything was opening. In spurts. If he coughed. This sounds like Babs post-goozy. Yeah. I'm not saying it was Babs who came over for dinner. I'm not saying that. It just feels very. I'm not saying that. Haves who came over for dinner. I'm not saying that. It just feels very, you know.

I'm not saying that. Have you noticed I have not named names. Yes, yes. But this person was describing, oh, God, coughing. Oh, okay. So it was like open. Open. And he was going, you know, that was dangerous for me and me undies.

Yeah. And his girlfriend, at the same moment of him doing that hand action of trying to describe open, close. Yeah. She went, yeah, yeah, like, meow. And we've all stopped, put our cutlery down and gone, pardon moi, meow. She went, yeah. That's just what I picture when it opens.

When it opens. Instead of being, it's going. Exactly. Okay. It's kitten-esque. I kind of like that because it's going. Exactly. It's kitten-esque. I kind of like that because it's nicer. It's so polite. She's a sweet girl.

Again, it's not Babs. Or is it? No. Very sweet. And she went, yeah, it's a sphincter. Meow. And I can't stop thinking about now the comparisons. And I saw a cat cross the road the other day and it had its tail up.

You know how cats give the stink eye to the world? I went, I guess when you look at a cat's eye, you know, kind of I see the meow. I see similarities. Buttholes, buttholes. Well, now, because Pam always has her tail up, always. Yes. She's a prissy little, I'm ruling this roost. You get a good view of buttholes.

Yes. Can you see it even though she's a canine? I'm now going to look at it and see it saying meow. That's exactly what I'm going to see it doing. I'm not going to unsee that. I can't. Neither can I. Neither can I.

I'm glad I've passed this on to you now. Did you go into the mirror, spread your cheeks and go, meow? How quickly? Because that's what I want to do when I get home. Why do you think I've got the Florida Walls mirror in the bedroom? Close the door? Come check this out, honey. What are you doing?

Don't worry about it. No! Jess and Dunco in the morning. Jess and Dunco's 10K Alphamax on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back, of course, if there is time stepping up today to play for $10,000 on Valentine's Day. It's Brandon. Hello, Brandon. Hey, how are you? Brandon, we're so, so good. You have the only opportunity today to play for $10,000 on your

own because at 8am we're going to give couples a chance. Are you ready? Are you ready to take this money? I'm ready. I'm done. You're born ready. How do you normally go with the alpha bucks every day? Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Hopefully it's one of the good days. Hopefully it's a good day. What is fueling you today, Brandon? What do you want to spend the money on? Valentine's Day. I completely forgot about it. I paid some bills and I was like you want to spend the money on? Valentine's Day. I completely forgot about it. I paid some bills and I was like, I haven't saved any money for Valentine's Day.

Got to get a partner something. If Brandon gets $10,000 today, that is the biggest bunch of roses. I think we would have ever seen in our lives. All on flowers. It would be huge. It would be huge. All right.

Love is motivating him. It is. And we've said love is the best of the fuels. Yep. The letter you're going to work with today, Brandon, it's solid. It's R. Ooh. Oh.

Okay. R for... Roses. Oh, my God. Here we go. It writes itself. It writes itself. Brandon, come on.

Are you ready, Brandon? I'm ready. All right. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R. We need you to name a dog breed. Rottweiler. A body part.

Pass. A country. Pass. A caffeinated drink. Raspberry. Lemonade. A musical artist. Robbie Williams.

A movie. Pass. A form of exercise? Running. A vegetable? Pass. An instrument? Recorder. An occupation? Pass. No roses. No, no roses. We ended up with about four. Better luck next time. Better luck. Hey, that's a great attitude. Let's go through and learn together. A body part could have been ribs or the humble rotator cuff. Still waiting for the day someone says that. A country, Russia.

A caffeinated drink could have been Red Bull rather than raspberry lemonade. I don't think it's got caffeine in it. No, I think it's got sugar. I drink Red Bull every day, too. Oh, Brent. Come on. A movie could have been Rocky or Rush Hour. A vegetable, radish.

An occupation. There's plenty. Real estate agent, receptionist. Hey, but you don't go empty-handed. $100 to spend at Budgie Smuggler. That's all yours. Out of legend. Thank you.

Thank you, Brandon. Happy Valentine's Day. Cheers. Thank you. You guys have a good day. Thanks. Jess and Ducco. Had one of those rare moments yesterday.

An interaction with a bitter old gentleman. He had two little yappy dogs, just to paint the picture. Yep. I was in my... I can see him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was old, bitter. I was in my Ford Ranger ute, right?

So it's obviously, yeah, Ford Ranger, the bigger ute, whatever. Me gold ute, you can't miss it. I was that awkward moment where I'm parked on one side of the road normally and he's on the other and he wanted to cross the road, but I was doing a U-turn. It just so happened that our worlds collided and I did a U-turn at the same time he was trying to cross the road. Was he jaywalking?

Was he just trying to cross it? He was definitely jaywalking. Yeah, you paint that picture. Yeah, he was jaywalking. You're in your right to do a U-turn. I was, and he was jaywalking. It was like obviously I had to turn and then reverse to straighten up and then drive straight up.

Because it's a long vehicle. It's a long vehicle. It wasn't much width on the road. Sure. So I've done the first part of the U-turn. I've done the turn. He's there. He's seen me.

And he's gone. I had my windows down. He's gone. Oh, and started swearing. Whoa. Just going off. What, did he think you were going to hit him? No, he was just like, because I blocked, like, because he was going to walk.

He was like, oh, oh, and then he had to go around. So then what he does is the dumbest thing. He goes to the right, like behind, where I was about to reverse out. Oh, yeah. And there's cars coming either way. So then I reverse out, like, I'm not waiting for this. So I reverse out, and he goes, oh, he starts yelling. And he said something, and I go, what?

And I turn around, I go, what'd you say, mate? And he goes, that ute is too big for you. And I was like, so he's seen me get in the car, like hop in the car, do a uey. He's sworn at me. I've reversed back. And he's yelled, that ute is too big for you. Not too big for the streets. Not too big for inner suburban driving.

Too big for you. I know. And I go, what'd you say? He goes, that ute's Too big for you. I know. And I go, what did you say? He goes, that ute's too big for you. I go, why? And he goes, because it's too big. And I was like, genuinely did not know what to say back. I was like, what?

And you're probably going, what are we talking, like 75 plus? Like older? Yes. Like you're going, am I fighting with her off this old bloke? But also. I think I hit him with a, your mum loves it or something. You know. His mum's probably well dead.

I showed him. We often talk about the changes in the calibre of our youth, whether it be, you know, quiet quitting and all those other weird things they're doing in workplaces. They don't have the same ethic. Everyone wants to be a YouTuber or an influencer. Everyone wants to be famous. But it would appear that that same lack of work ethic has infiltrated an industry

I thought was above all of it. The Italian mafia. I'm going to make them an offer they can't refuse. Veteran mafia bosses in Sicily. The police are always working hard to bring down Italian crime families, but they've lasted the test of time. I think they're still working hard. They're now tapping phones, Darko.

Wow. They've issued warrants. They're doing this. They're doing that. But they've released one phone tap, just a sort of written transcript. One mafia don down in Sicily, Giancarlo Romano. Romano. Big, big crime family, the Romanos.

Okay. They've tapped his phone, obviously trying to... Any relation to Ray? Thank you. You know I'm a big everybody loves Raymond fan, but every time I bring it up... Yeah, yeah, it's too niche. The fact you did... It landed.

I'm very happy with that. Unconfirmed. Okay. Unconfirmed. Okay. Unconfirmed. Yeah. But Giancarlo, they've tapped his phone. Okay. And they've released the transcript because he's talking about the youth in the mafia.

Oh, the up and coming, the next generation. The next generation. True. You think they've grown up in these worlds. It's all family business. Yeah, yeah. But they've released this recording of this mafia don going, the caliber of

young Sicilian mobster recruits, it's miserable. He goes, this is obviously all translated, the level is low. Today, if one of these young ones gets nabbed by the cops, they become Volta Gabbana. Was that a snitch? A snitch! They become

double agents. They crumble to the authority. And they start snitching on the mob bosses. They become basically double agents. He goes, where's the loyalty? They become Freddo. Yes. Freddo. They betray the family.

He goes, they don't make them like they used to. Interesting. And obviously the older generation, they're either behind bars because they've actually got a whole repertoire and resume of crime that they can now be put behind in jail for. Yeah. But the young ones are going... They don't want to borrow that life. At the slightest hint of pressure, they flip.

Are the young ones doing like a get ready with me day in the life of Mafia TikTok? Like, get ready with me, here I go. And then just in the background, they accidentally capture the crime happening in the warehouse. It's like, because of you! Jess and Daco. I need advice. Should we open the court early?

Let's open the court a little bit early. Obviously, Morgan is going on 31 weeks pregnant now. She's starting to really pop. I call her Megaloo the white whale. I'm not going to give you my opinion on that again. You assure me? She's cool. She has fun with it. We make whale sounds.

Anyway, she's at that stage now where it's uncomfortable to sleep, and she doesn't like sleeping on her side. But when you're pregnant, you have to sleep on your side. She's got the pregnancy pillow, all that sort of gear. But she still wakes up sometimes at night, and she's on her back. Now, apparently it's really bad to be on your back while you're pregnant sleeping for medical reasons. There's some big old vein.

Vein, yes. Something like that. Yes, yep. So she said to me, like, oh, I keep waking up on my back. Like, I need you to check on me during the night whenever you wake up and make sure I'm on my side. Okay. So not set alarms.

No, no, no. But if you happen to wake. Because I've got bad chills. I wake up all the time and stuff. I just need you to check on me and make sure I'm on my side. And if she's not. Wake her up and put her on, or just roll I wake up all the time. I need you to check on me and make sure I'm on my side. And if she's not? Wake her up and put her on, or just roll me glue over onto the side. You know what I'm picturing?

You with the big shoe horn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Softly, so you don't want to wake. Have you seen Moby Dick? Rest is important. She's going to eat you. Rest is important, so we want to do it as gently as possible.

Yes. But get her into a safe position. But she said, wake me up. She's like, wake me up. Oh, okay. Don't get a shoehorn. This has been going for a couple of weeks. And so the first time I just prod over and feel in the middle of the night

and I feel she's on her side. Okay, great. Sometimes I feel like a rogue hand touch me. I'm like, okay, she's all good. One time I felt her on her back. Like a couple of nights ago, I felt her on her back. I was like, it's happening. Like, we need to do this.

But Morgan is such a bad sleeper. Like she is a light sleeper. She gets annoyed when you wake her up. She gets annoyed if you make any movement in the bed. So I was like, how can I move her without waking her? So I sort of like roll over. I remember Pam's in the bed too. So Pam's taking up some room.

So I'm trying to roll over Pam. There's three bodies we're dealing with here. Pam's annoyed I'm waking her. Yeah, she's in the middle always. And so then I'm like, I over Pam. There's three bodies we're dealing with here. Pam's annoying. Pam's in the middle. Yeah, she's in the middle, always. And so then I'm like, I put my hands like under Morgan, and I'm trying to like lift her up to roll her to a side without her knowing. Yep. And then she wakes up.

She's like, what are you doing? And I was like, you're in your back. You asked me. Yeah, you're in your back. I'm trying to wake up. She's like, oh, and huffs. And I could hear her horribly sighing and huffing. And she had the worst rest of her sleep.

And I was like, you wanted me to wake you up. I'm trying to do it for you. Let's remember. Yeah, this is what you said. This was a request. I know. And then she was annoyed that night. I woke up the next day and she's like, no, you did the right thing.

I'm like, I'm too scared to do it again. No, you're going to have to deal with the wrath. Yeah. And then in the light of day, accept the apology. She's busy. She's busy. She's growing your daughter. I get it. She's busy. She's busy. She's growing your daughter. I get it.

She's busy. Emotions and hormones are flying. You better make sure you're never too, you know, trying to do it quickly or swiftly, bloody roll her out of bed. It's a delicate act, this. It is a delicate, you know, precious cargo inside. Yes. I was thinking.

Let alone the dog you're disturbing in the midst of all this. Well, this is the main issue is Pam's losing her sleep as well. I was like, is there a way I can make Pam sort of pretend to do it? So she wakes up thinking it was Pam and I can pretend to be asleep? It's like you quickly go back to sleep and put her paw, put Pam's paw on Morgan's leg. It's like, it was the dog. She touched you.

She touched you last. Yeah, she did it. Is there a way we can buffer Morgan in? If she's got the pregnancy pillow on one side, can Pam act as a wall on the other? And build her up. Locking her into position. Yeah.

You know? That could be good. And build her up. Locking her into position. Yeah. You know? That could be good. Really prop her up a little bit. Like you were saying, like the corn holders the other day. You know, you're still using those. We need corn holders of, in essence, on either end of her. She's gone from. Either side of her.

She's gone from wild to piece of corn. She's the cob. She's the cob. And we need the holders. We'll work on it. Keeping her in position. Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah.

Anything for the unborn beau? It's just going to be a rough couple of weeks left. I think we've got eight weeks left, and she's really at that point now. Maybe that is the takeaway. You've just got to deal with it. I've just got to chop it. Jess and Ducko. The people are real.

The cases are real. The rulings are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. It's Jess and Ducko's Love Court. Oh, yeah. If you've got a situation that you need to bring to a judge, a jury, and a sexy executioner, we... Sex-ecutioner. Sex-ecutioner.

Sex-ecutioner. That's very good. Yeah. We are all that. All that and more today. Court is in session. Court is in session. We want to hear from you 131060.

Shot guys the scribe. Oh, I love that. He's got that weird little keyboard. Yeah, he's punching away at that thing. Furiously taking notes. Yeah. So we can look back if need be. Yeah.

Sure. But whatever your petty squabble is that you've currently got going on with your partner, maybe it's short term, maybe it's been something going on for decades. Yep. We will finally put it to bed and then get you into bed. Help you out. Obviously, you get a prize for it. With a fantastic prize.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the boudoir. 13, 10, 60 love court is in session. Something that sparked this for us earlier this week was Chrissy. She has a long-term issue with her husband, and this is what she told us. About 10 years ago, he handed me his key card to go and get some money out, and I said to him, what's the PIN number? And he told me the PIN number, and my stepson goes,

oh, that's my mum's birthday. Oh, so it was his ex-partner's birthday. Okay, okay, okay. So now we're being married. Hang on, hang on. Hang on, hang on, hang on. We're being married. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. We've been married for seven years. Okay.

We've been together for ten. And yesterday, when he asked me to activate his new key card, and I said, Kim, yeah, that's fine. You just need to put a PIN number in. I said, oh, what's your PIN number? And he goes, oh, the same as it's always been. Okay, so we've had an opportunity to reset. We've had plenty of opportunities.

Now, it's not just because of Chrissy's passion, but I think the court found firmly in Chrissy's favour. Well, I mean, I did come out saying, you only remember your first pin code you get. Mine is still the same from day dot, and I will not be changing it. Appreciate that. However,

ten years. Ten years, learn your new partner's birthday, and let that be cemented in your brain. We don't be dragging any baggage from past relationships into the new one. No. Particularly with our pins. Yeah. It was a doozy.

It was a doozy. So 13, 10, 60, Love Court is in session. Yes. We want to help settle your petty squabbles. Can be anything. Can be tiny. Maybe they stole the iPhone charger. Yes.

Can I give you a quick squabble? Yes. From just last night, Ducko. Just last night. On the eve of Love Day, my husband did me a dirty. Or did he? You be the judge, Jerry, and sex executioner. Okay.

He has the mornings with my daughter. I obviously have the afternoons and the evenings. I've gone to make her her nighttime bottle of milk. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Two mils left in the frickin' bottle. Ah. And this is when we start getting into witching hour territory.

Yeah, yeah, you can't. I need to get this chick to bed, but without the bottle, I don't know if she's going to make it through the night, because dinner's at 4.30. You can't whack her off on the boob. That's dried up. That's dried up. I can't take her to the shops now. Yeah, it's too late.

I mean, I could, but God, that's a whole rigmarole. That'd take way too long. Wait, take... He saw that milk in the morning. I understand there's a lot on his plate at the moment, but he's done me a dirty now. It's 6.30, 6.45. That is a...

I had to Uber Eats milk. Oh, you did that? I did it off Shy Guy's suggestion last week. The issue is I did priority still 25 minutes. Yeah, because one guy was getting your milk plus other things. And on a bike, too. I could see the guy on the bike. I went, oh.

So I ended up giving my daughter that two mil and hoped for the best. And how did it go down? Look, she slept through the night. But that's beside the point. He did me a dirty. Okay. Or do you think? No, yeah. If you put the milk back Okay. Or do you think? No, yeah, that's, yeah.

If you put the milk back and it's less than half or less than quarter, I think you need to go, it needs to be a message. Put it back on me. Absolutely. Put it back on you. Hey, there's not much milk. I had to go. Up to you, though.

I can't be finding that out at 6.45 at night. That's a tough one. Even when we come here at the office on a Monday and the milk's all gone or someone's put back a little bit, who does that? Who does that? That's not enough for now the next person's coffee or cup of tea. But I will admit at home I have done that plenty of times. It's like, oop, not my problem anymore, is it?

That's right. That's not the court. That's not the case you brought. No, it's not the case I brought. So, guilty. Do I get a toy? You get a toy. Thank you very much.

You get a toy. You get a toy. 13, 10, 60, what is it? Give us a call. Step into the love court. What's going on in your world? Yes, let us help you solve it. Do it next.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. Step into the love court. Yeah. Maybe there's a petty squabble.

That's putting a dampener on your Valentine's Day. Yep. Well, let's get it out into the open, shine a spotlight, give you a definitive ruling, and send you on your way with a fun little toy. With a Minx Roddick boutique voucher. I mean, who doesn't want that? Who doesn't want that?

Spice up their weekend. No squabble is too small or too big. Absolutely. We've heard from a husband who has his ex-wife's birthday as the pin. Oh, yeah. We've heard from a couple arguing whether gold is a shade of yellow. Yeah, which it's not. It's not.

Yeah, yeah. Yellow and gold, different. For spotto. Exactly. And now we go to Chris. Good morning, Chris. Good morning, guys. How are you today?

We're so good. Welcome to, Chris. Good morning, guys. How are you today? We're so good. Welcome to Love Court. Give us the facts of your case. This is a bit of a squabble and a bit of a twist at the end of it too. So I've known my partner for 12 years and been together for about three. So she does not believe that a male deserves a Valentine's gift that's all for the ladies, which I can accept that. Okay.

But over the last 24 hours, every afternoon I've got home from work, she's asked me to go and pick something up from Facebook after I've seen six or so participants throughout the day and done about 300 kilometres a day. So coming home at 5.30, hey, babe, can you go pick this up? Like she's doing marketplace shopping. Oh, every day. Okay. Every day. So coming home at 5.30, hey, babe, can you go pick this up? Like she's doing marketplace shopping. Oh, every day. Every day.

And there's nothing worse than rocking up to a marketplace random and having to buy their former goods. Dropping from one end of the coast to Terrigal just to go and pick up a shelf or something silly like that. She probably got a good price on the shelf. So yesterday was my day to go late night shopping to go and get her something, and it just didn't happen. And unfortunately today I've got to go get tyres on a car

and I've got to go to a rego before I get home this afternoon. So when I get home this afternoon, she's going to be a little bit disappointed that I haven't gone and picked up a Valentine's gift for her. You've been busy. There are two parts to this case, absolutely, Chris. Firstly, I want to put it on the record. It is not just for the ladies.

No, it can be for anyone. V-Day is not just for the ladies. That is a two-way street. It has to be. Chris's partner. Yeah. And as we've said, he doesn't have to break the bank. No.

Writing a handwritten note. Yeah, that's all you need to do. Just acknowledging is sweet. Yeah. Getting them their favourite choccy bar, whatever it might be. She'll get a handwritten note. But the little twist. But she could do it for you is what I'm saying, Chris.

She could do it for you too, firstly. Yeah, she will. But then. She will. Oh, she will. So you've got a twist for us. So the twist, I got up this morning and I work with a participant that's non-verbal this morning and he can't do anything to make his wife

alright. He's had a stroke. So I'm out the back picking succulents and filling up a garden pot full of dirt. So this morning she says, what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm just going to take this stuff to my participant so we can make a little succulent arrangement in a pot for her Valentine's Day. And she kind of looked at me a little bit strange. Oh, I see. I haven't seen her. Oh, like you're making it for someone else.

Oh, it's part of the job. Jeez, Chris, you've got a tough carry when you come home tonight. Well, why don't we make it a bit easier for Chris? Yeah, that's hard. And get him something that he can go home with. Well, why don't we make it a bit easier for Chris? Yeah, that's hard. And get him something that he can go home with. Ah, yes. And you can use that one. That won't take any time.

No. We'll send it to you, Chris. Yeah. And it's something I think you both could enjoy. I think you could both enjoy it. It could soften the blow. It could soften the blow. Yeah, yeah.

I hope so. Valentine's squabbles should not be squabbles. Yeah, yeah. It's about freaking love today. Yeah, it's about love. It's about succulence. But I appreciate from her, so you're making a Valentine's presentabbles should not be squabble. It's about freaking love. Yeah, it's about love. It's about succulence. But I appreciate from her, so you're making a Valentine's present for someone else.

Another lady. How dare you. Now go to our marketplace and pick this up. We're going to give you a Minx Rose Boutique voucher. That's all yours. That's all yours, Chris. Thanks, guys. That's all for you.

Happy Valentine's Day to you both. Happy Valentine's Day. Do we rule? I think we're both partly in the wrong. Yeah. You know what I mean? I get Chris is very busy, but we know Valentine's Day is going to come around every year. He's got the handwritten card.

He's got the handwritten card. And now the Minx Erotic Boutique voucher. Thanks, guys. There you go. Eight bucks. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko's.

Alpha Bucks. What? Couples. Oh, yeah. Been doing this all week now. This is the last day we're doing it. Hasn't gone too well yet. Trying to win the $10,000.

Still 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Had to take your first answer. Can't use the same one twice. But you are pairing up with your better half. That's right. Two minds are better than one. Or are they? Yeah. Or are they? Yeah, or are they?

Because we've had four goes and yet to give away anything over five. Yeah. But you know what? Kylie and Sam are our longest running couple so far. So they know each other. They know each other's strengths and weaknesses. I reckon they're going to be in sync. Yep.

Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good morning. Been together 15 years. Here we go. Yep. Good morning, guys. Good morning. Good morning. Been together 15 years. Here we go. Kylie, can you tell us how you guys met? We actually met through the local fire brigade. I think you both worked for them.

Well, Sam's a firefighter and my dad and my sister were a firefighter, so I used to pop along for a few meetings and stuff like that, and that's how we met. So, Sam, you were working with Kylie's dad and then started dating his daughter. How did that all go down? Not real well to start with. See, Sam was on the June month for the firefighter calendar, and his dad was on July. Oh, okay.

Yeah, it was a tough one. That's hot. That's hot. And confusing for Kylie. Very confusing for Kylie. The month, oh, jeez one. That's hot. That's hot. And confusing for Kylie. Very confusing for Kylie. The months, oh, jeez. Okay. All right, so you guys are going strong.

You've been together 15 years. How do you think you'll go today with this? Well, I don't handle things under pressure, so I'm probably going to be all over the place, but I have faith and confidence in Sam. Well, Sam, I mean, working well under pressure is your whole jam. It is. It is. I'm glad someone's got faith and confidence in me.

Sounds like, Sam, you're going to have to be doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Are you ready to execute? Yeah. Oh, why not? Oh, why not? That's all we can ask. Feels like Sam's been waking up going, what am I doing? What have you roped us into? Yeah, I love it. And what do you want to spend the money on, Gus? It's a bit of a tough one, but there's a lot that we could do with it.

We've also got our daughter's 10th birthday coming up. So, yeah, we could go all out for her, I suppose. Okay. That's a lot of fun. All right. Well, we're using the daughter's birthday party as motivation. Yep. Been together 15 years.

Let's prove our alpha bucks chops. The letter. What's the point? I'm not going to see any of the money. I'm just here for the ride. You're just here for the good times. I get the five cents. No, no, Sam, I think you.

I think someone's got to answer the questions at least. Kylie says she's going to panic, Sam. We could have no one answering. Yeah, yeah, this could be fun. Say pass if you don't know. Guys, the letter you're going to work with is U. Oh, no. No, no. That's good. U. Come on. U.

There's only so many words starting with U. Yep. You just need ten of them. Alright, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter U, we need you to name a mythical creature. Unicorn. A card creature. Unicorn. Unicorn.

A card game. Unicorn. An occupation. Pass. A brand. Pass. A space term. Universe.

A country. Uruguay. A celebrity. Usher. A clothing item. Uniform. Something you'd find on a sports field. Umbrella.

A movie. Under the sea? An occupation. Ooh! Jeez. Sam. I didn't work well under the pressure. No.

At the start of it, Kate, and Sam, just from question five to ten, he's like, oh, I got you. Yeah, yeah. Look, just from question five to ten, he's like, oh, I got you. Yeah, yeah. Look, we ended up with seven. I don't know Under the Sea if it's a movie. I don't know. I think you're looking for Under the Tuscan Sun, maybe, Kylie. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't think it is. An occupation could have been Uber driver, uni lecturer. A brand could have been UGG, a simple UGG boot, or Under Armour. And then a movie could have been, there's plenty, Uptown Girls, there's a few. But they were the only three that you didn't get right. You got through all ten and you don't go away empty-handed. Sam, you'll love this.

$100 to spend at Budgie Smuggler for all you. He'll love that. Slide down the pole in your budgies. I love that. Next year's calendar. Oh, yeah. Thank you so much, guys. Happy Valentine's Day.

Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. No worries. Thank you. Thanks, team. Ah, jeez, an unsuccessful Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. No worries. Thank you. Thanks, team. Ah, jeez, an unsuccessful run. We'll go back to normal next week. We'll go back to normal next week.

Cut. Yeah. Well, we tried. We tried. We tried two brains better than one, but nah. Nah, nah. It just didn't work out. I can't wait to see Sam in those budgies.

Oh, he'll look good in those. What's the most expensive mistake you've ever made? Because this story will make you feel better. I don't think anyone's bill at the end of a mistake is up where James is. We're going to Wales first. Aggressive. Aggressive anthem. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Aggressive language. Yeah. James Howells. He's a computer engineer, Ducko. Yeah. And he says that in the summer of 2013, this is a story that's been bubbling in James' world for a long time.

His ex-partner accidentally threw away a hard drive belonging to James. He'd cleared out his office, put it in a bag, and unfortunately that bag ended up in a garbage bag, and the partner bag ended up in a garbage bag. And the partner did a trip to the tip. Right. Has turfed it. Only for James to realize that hard drive contained his Bitcoin wallet. Cryptocurrency.

It all lives digitally. And he had it on this hard drive. Oh. Didn't want to label it. His Bitcoin fortune, he says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone's rich on Bitcoin. $760 million.

Why was that on a hard drive? Why? Well, surely he had a bit of that coming out. Why was that put in a bag that was then put in a garbage bag that was taken to the tip? No wonder the relationship is no longer intact. Yeah. If your partner throws away $760 million, you're going to break up. Yeah. He has been arguing since 2013 with his local council to be granted access to search through the tip.

He is saying, please let me walk through with a metal detector, with the pooper scooper, with my bare hands, I need to find this hard drive. He's saying in the whole landfill, more than 1.4 million tonnes, he's narrowed it down to an area of 100,000 tonnes. Don't ask me how, but he's going, I think it would be around here. I can feel it. I'm going to go through 100,000 tonnes of rubbish. The council and subsequently the tip have denied him time and time again. They're saying as soon as the garbage hit our land.

Oh, it's their property. It became their property. So did he tell them, hey, I've got money on this? And they're like, oh, it's ours now. He said, I'm looking for a hard drive. And now they're claiming, well, anything that hits our land is our property. That's fascinating. I thought they were going to try and say it's not safe.

Yeah, yeah. Which would be very fair to go, you can't walk through a tip. It's unsafe. No, no. They're saying it's now our. Yeah, yeah. Which would be very fair to go, you can't walk through a tip, it's unsafe. No, no, they're saying it's now our property. They definitely want that money. He is now saying, I'll buy the whole tip. How much do you want for the land? I'm going to buy the whole tip.

He better hope he finds it, otherwise he's not going to be able to afford the tip, then he's going to be in debt and have no crypto. I know. If you looked at Mark Zuckerberg just on face value, maybe you wouldn't think he was one of the world's richest men. I'm looking at James. He doesn't look that loaded to me. Just face value that he can afford to buy this huge span of land.

I wonder how much a tip is going for. How much would the real estate be? It's a massive, obviously, space. He wants to buy the whole tip so at his leisure, he can go through and find his hard drive. If he is telling the truth and he genuinely does have $750,000 worth of crypto money in there. Million, sorry. Yeah, yeah.

That is, oh, that's unlucky. But I don't know crypto because I don't have any. No. Is there no other way you can access it? I have heard if you lose a password, you're done. Oh, that would be so bad. Similarly, if you lose hard drive. He's a computer engineer though, Ducco.

Surely. Surely this should be, have been better handled by someone in this space. He's got a backup somewhere. What about the cloud? What's the cloud doing? What is the cloud? I don't even understand the cloud. I don't even know if a computer engineer could understand the cloud. Do we have potentially a price tag on a tip? I did look it up. There's none

going. It'd be a land. It's not on realestate.com.au It's not for sale. He's just saying, can I just buy it? He's bidding. He's bidding. He's put in an offer. They're going to close the tip in the next financial year because they want to make it a solar farm.

He screams of the tip company going, hey, we've got money in here, guys. Let's find it. I wonder if they've already found it. So they're like, it's done. It's done and dusted. And very easy to pay off anyone in like a court system. So easy. Because you've just got $760 million.

Make this guy go away. Make him disappear. I did not realise that once he's thrown to the tip, it becomes their property. I mean, it makes sense. I mean, this might just be Welsh law. Oh, so true. I don't know how it works here. Yeah.

You should try and chuck something out and then say, hey, can I go fetch that? I was at the tip the other week. You know that. I should have asked them. Yeah. Yeah. You don't go on the, I've never actually been to a tip, if you can believe that. Oh, you've got to go.

I haven't lived. It's fun. You stand on that platform and turf, right? Yeah, it's chucks of things in. You're not in amongst it. No, you're not in amongst the thing. It's too dangerous. Everyone's just chucking things.

You need closed-in shoes, though. I'd love to hear that, too. If you've lost something in a tip, were you able to find it? Like, I've gone dumpster diving because I thought, I think I've thrown my keys and I've had to go find them. In the bin. Then I found them in my handbag and weren't in the bin. Tip diving. Tip diving.

Tip diving. Yeah. $13,060. That's one hell of an expensive mistake to make. Very expensive mistake. $760 million. Sophia messaging quickly before we go to a song, come back to it. She said, this didn't happen to me, but I know someone who accidentally transferred

$15,000 to an account. The bank couldn't do anything about it because the person used the SMS code to confirm the transfer. Fortunately for them, though, the person who got the money did transfer it back. Like, they were a good person. Oh, that's a good person. Because, yeah, once it's hit my account, that's my money. Yeah.

It's too bad, so sad. Yeah. I always get nervous about that. You always read the BSP and the account number so much. Absolutely. And I know all the apps are now trying to make it easier with just phone number or whatever. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

I need more steps of security. 13, 10, 60. How expensive was your mistake? Or have you been tip diving? Take both. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. How expensive was your mistake?

That's right. We're in Wales for this one. A computer engineer named James has spent the better part of 10 years trying to fight his local council to search a tip, to even buy the tip, because a hard drive containing his Bitcoin wallet, his crypto worth $760 million, was accidentally thrown out by his ex. They're not letting him search it. So now he's like, I'll buy the place.

I'll do it. It's not for sale. And the council is saying, we're turning it into a solar farm anyway. You can't buy it. Yeah, yeah. They've 100% found it. The Welsh council, famously. Famously.

Nah, they're tough to deal with and they have taken the money. That is a juicy carrot to dangle. Also, they've all retired. Yeah, yes. Living in gold mansions. We've had some texts on the text line, though. Bronnie messaging saying, no, we need the crypto dolls. But my wedding, mum. Bronnie messaging saying, no, we need the crypto dolls, but my wedding,

mum and dad's wedding ring, my diamond and garnet bracelet were lost because my husband put them in empty twisties packet while I was in labour, put it in the drawer, and then it was thrown away. Oops! We were just saying about James's computer engineer, are you

putting your Bitcoin hard drive in something that looks like garbage? Bronnie's husband has just confirmed, yes, a dude might do that. But yeah. That's a vessel. It's a packaging. It's fine. And then it gets chucked away. It's like if they had someone the other day hide something in the golf bag,

then they forget about it. You hide things sometimes, putting it in the best place, but then you forget where you've put it. You've hid it too well. You've hid it too well from yourself. That's an expensive mistake. Sam, good morning. Good morning. What's the most expensive mistake. Sam, good morning. Good morning.

What's the most expensive mistake you've ever made? I was selling a car and I wrote $3,200 on it and I sold it and it was actually supposed to be $32,000. Like you worked at a car dealership? No, I was selling it privately. But you wanted $32,000 but wrote $3,200 and someone went, I'll take it. Yes, luckily, thank goodness it was an ex-thorne neighbour who was absolutely lovely. And my partner at the time come home and was like, what did you do? And I was like, I don't know.

That's one hell of a discount. Leaving off a zero. Imagine driving away knowing you got that car for three grand. I know. And then you get those sticklers who was like, no, that's the advertised price. You must sell it to me at that price. Absolutely. Jeez, good one, Sam.

Jo, on 131060, your son made the expensive mistake. He did. I decided to let him mow the lawn for the first time ever. And he was doing really, really good out in the back. And then we got out to the front yard and he hit the water main. Oh. Oh, yeah. So water's flowing everywhere.

Yeah, it was all over the house. It was higher than the house in the street, in the air. It was all down the road. It was on a Sunday on a public holiday on the footy grand final long weekend. So trying to get somebody out was like near impossible. And then it took about three hours before we could get somebody out. And then the water bill that came along with it afterwards. So it ended up coming up to $900.

Oh, my God. So not only having to pay what public holiday rates for the service person, but then actually paying the water bill for everything. No more garden duty for the son. Son's not mowing the lawn anymore. You stay inside, clean the bathrooms. Nat has called through on 131060. Nat, how expensive was your mistake?

Hello. Well, my dad went to an auction and I would say my dad's listening skills probably need improvement. He had his eyes on something that he wanted, put a bid up and realised he was accidentally bidding on a minibus and he was the only one to place a bid. So he bought a minibus and had to bring it home to tell my mum that he had accidentally brought the minibus and had to bring it home to tell my mum that he had accidentally brought the minibus how much does a minibus go for at auction look this was this was years ago I don't remember how

much but my mum acts like in the end she was like you need to sell the minibus because he was spending every Saturday picking up all his friends to go to the football. How good is that? And then dropping all the people home in said minibus. Well, you've got a minibus. You've got to be the driver. The fun you could have with a minibus. Exactly.

But, like, he's done many of things. One time he tried to cut a tree on his tractor. He was standing on it to cut the tree and unfortunately got the four wrong and it fell the other way on his tractor and bounced several times before falling off. Oh, Jesus. He broke the tractor. That's expensive.

That's expensive. Yeah, he bounced that there. He also went to a fundraiser. Again, was bidding on things. He was at the back of the room. Couldn't hear what they were bidding on. He bought like a voucher for a body piercing one time. My mum gets not impressed. He just wants to be in the action.

He's obviously had beers when it comes down to these beers. He's like, I'll take it. I don't even know what it is. Jess and Ducco. It's time for Shago's Diary. That's right. It's been a big week. Big week.

Some great contributions. So lucky Shago has beenary. That's right. It's been a big week. Yeah. Big week. Some great contributions. So lucky Shago's been diligently writing down some notes in his little love heart shaped diary. Fuzzy pink one. Is it a good diary today? It's a really good diary. There's a little in joke at the very end of it, but not in for Jess and Ducko, just in for people under 25.

Oh, so is it going to go over Ducko and our heads? We'll find out. Okay. But you're older than 25. Oh, did Babs put it in? I didn't get it. Oh, here we go. It's a Babs edition. Listen for the intro.

What a week it's been with Jess and Ducko. In the spirit of Valentine's Day, the guys imagined what their lives would be like if they were single and had to write up a Tinder bio. Would you like me to read Ducko? Sure, go for it. Ducko, 33. Just a small man who is a master of small talk. I'm handy on long car trips and take up minimal space on plane rides.

Sit next to me. The kind of guy who would watch sport with your dad and make dinner with your mum. You can't cook. You just throw everything in a slow cooker. Yeah, but I just talk to her while she's doing it. Fair. Just an average six. Oh, looking for a four or more.

Together we can make a ten. Bang! Legit but I hate truffle. X. Tender buy for Jess. I'm a vivacious Aries looking for a strong earth sign. In brackets, jog on Pisces. Automatically I'm not swiping.

If you believe alternate drop is the superior way to serve food at a wedding or a formal event, we are not going to get along. See, that eliminates a lot of people straight away. That's what eliminates a lot. Yeah, I think people are gone. My moon ascending is also Aries, which means I cannot bear boredom and I'm prone to eczema. All right, mate. I'm out of here.

Looking for a serious relationship. Someone to go to the farmer's markets with on a Sunday morning and share a pretzel. That's nothing sadder. You swiping? I feel like the app won't actually let you write that many words in that section. It won't. Swipe left, swipe left, swipe left, swipe left.

Every Wednesday, we play Shy Guy Dips, where you guess what kind of cereal I'm eating. And at the end of the game, there's one line you need to give us. Unfortunately for our winner, Nikki, we had to do this a couple of times. Okay, well, Nikki, before we let you go, we need a nice, clear, passionate Hi, my name's Nikki and I'm so excited

I just won Shy Guy's box. Hi, my name's Nikki and I just won Shy Guy's box. No. I'm so excited. I like the passion. The passion was strong. The passion was strong. The passion was strong. We need some consistency. Okay.

Okay, ready? Hold on. Rolling. And action. I'm so excited. No. Hi, my name's Nikki and I'm so excited. Hold on.

Ready? Three, two, go. My name's Nikki. No. Hi, Nikki. Hi. My name's Nikki. Hi, my name's Nikki. All right. Fourth come. We'll be done. Hi, Nikki. Nikki. My name's Nikki. Hi, my name's Nikki.

All right. Fourth time lucky. Here we go, here we go. And action. Hi, my name's Nikki. I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's box. Yeah!

I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it. Charli XCX was in the country and Jess lost us a little bit blending her track Apple with a Snow White reference. For more reports, super brat. Slade. She absolutely slayed. Super.

For more reports, super brat. Sorry, I just missed that coming out of your mouth. I know you were trying to do two things at once. I want to wash your mouth out with soap right now. She sent it and fed it. What else is there to say about it? No cap. She was brat.

She had that apple and she... Oh, yeah, man. He ate that apple. Oh, yeah, she was just... She went all Snow White on that apple. What does that mean? You know, Snow White ate the apple. Oh, I thought that was like another youth language.

Get up with it. Get up with my Disney language. Play the niche thing. How is that niche? Everyone knows Snow White. No, I thought you were talking about drugs. Whip the apple in the brew. Let the sleeping death seep through.

Darko had to get a tradie over to fix some doors at his place, but there was just one problem with having a tradie in the house. This guy comes over and there's that awkward moment where he's there doing it and, like, I try and make myself look useful in this situation. But what do I do? Do you offer them lemonade? How are you useful in this situation? I was just standing up, arms folded, just leaning against the door,

being like, yeah, so anyway. I tried myself, but I just couldn't seem to. And I can tell he's just like, shut up. Then he gets to the awkward moment. He's like, what are you doing to yourself? I'm like, breakfast right here. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about moment. He's like, what are you doing to yourself? I'm like, breakfast right here. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

He's like, oh, okay. But then it's that awkward moment where I get bored. It's one thing to supervise. I'm bored now. But I'm sitting there like, do I watch TV? Do I... You can't watch TV while he's two feet away from you fixing your door. You know what I did?

You've got to make chit chat. You know what I did? I pulled my laptop open and pretended to be doing it. Doot, doot, doot. Buy, sell, sell, buy. Well, that's it for this week. And remember, if we run in Parliament,

maybe don't vote for Team Jess and Ducko. Yeah, I do wonder if I could go to politics. I'd hate it. Absolutely hate it. There's too much paperwork. Oh my God, it'd be so boring.

You would hate it. Imagine doing that. You would need a big team around you. Huge team. You guys could be my team. No, thank you. That would be fun. I'll give you a minister.

What ministers do you want? Let's say I'm prime minister. You can be the minister of anything. I'll take defence. That's a cool one to have. You have the biggest budget. Yeah, okay. They do have...

Shona, why do you buy 45 ships and two submarines? You'll have those deals going awry. Oh, I don't want France's submarines. I want to take the British submarines. You're sold. You are my minister for defence. Thank you. Well done, sir.

Welcome into the cabinet. Thank you. Good to be here. Over to you. Jess, what do you want to be? What else is there? Minister of food. There's education.

Oh, I'll take culinary minister. Absolutely. Culinary minister. No one better to do it. It is now. It is now, baby. Bads? What else?

You could be like, so like when Donald Trump's son was like the young person vote? That's like bad. Oh, yeah. You're the conduit to the young person. I'm barren. You're barren!

I'm bouncy barren! I like my suitcase. I have to go to school now. See you next week, rice cookers. Jess and Ducko. Double pass to see the original pop princess, Kylie Minogue. She's come back home. She's taking over Kudos Bank Arena for Mardi Gras.

Yeah. So we want you to be in the crowd with her, and we're also going to hook you up with accommodation, a night's stay. Oh, it'll be fantastic. Beautiful new ridges. Yes. Absolutely. So you cannot worry about having to make your way back home. You can really make a whole weekend out of it.

It's fantastic, too. It's the newly opened Ridges Australia Square. Refreshingly local hospitality. It's in the heart of Sydney. Couldn't get any better, really. Brand spanking new. It's the newly opened Ridges Australia Square. Refreshingly local hospitality. It's in the heart of Sydney. Couldn't get any better, really. Brand spanking new. It's awesome. And thank you to everyone who contributed this week.

It absolutely makes our day and makes our morning when you share. But someone who really stood out to us, Ducko, earlier in the week we were talking about how bad did your proposal go after a girlfriend of mine, her fiancé decided to proclaim, hey, remember how I was looking for nail clippers? Look what else I found in my toiletry bag and pulled out a ring. That was it. Very lacklustre.

Yep. Thankfully, Damien called through and had what I'm going to say was an even worse situation. I went to this really fancy restaurant. I had this thing planned out for days. I rung ahead and going to get sparklers and will you marry me written on a plate in our dessert. They come to the table.

Are you guys ready for dessert? Yeah, we're ready for dessert. I'm looking around nervous as thinking I'm not ready. I'm not ready. And they've come out with these sparklers. I've dropped on one knee, pulled me out and it wasn't for me. It was someone else's birthday behind us. Oh no! pulled me out and it wasn't for me. It was someone else's birthday behind us. Oh, no.

So you've tried to time the arrival of the dessert. You're already down and they've walked past you. That is so embarrassing. How did you come back from that? What did you do? Oh, I just had to do it. Then they come out, yeah, a couple of minutes later and I said, oh, it was all planned.

I had this really good idea. That's the person going, the person's birthday was, you've ruined that day for them. Yeah, they all clapped. Oh, it was so embarrassing. But you said yes. You were in a public space like that, Dave. It was ballsy, man. That is public proposal.

Yeah. Well done. We love that so much. So much so, it's one day in the call of fame. Oh, awesome. Thanks, guys. You're very welcome. Are you and your partner Kylie fans?

Oh, my partner's a mad Kylie fan. Loves Kylie. Perfect. Well, did you get her a Valentine's Day present? Oh, yeah, but this is going to be even better. I was going to say, chuck whatever you got out because this is pretty good. Will she take you, Damien, or will she take a friend? Oh, I'm hoping me, but we'll see.

You never know. I mean, when it's a gift, you know, you can do with it what you wish. That's true. Hopefully you get the call-up, Damo. Thank you so much. That was awesome. Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining the show. More chances next week because, jeez, next week I think we have something even better. We've got a co-fot. It's a co-fot. We don't just have one double pass. We have five to the one and only Nelly. Nelly. Heart and hair.

Oh, yeah. I have all your clothes. Nelly had the tape on his cheek, yeah? Correct. He did that little band-aid tape situation. Did we ever learn if there was a wound under there? It was a fashion statement. I think he was just being cool.

Okay. I think he was just being cool all the time and you could do that. I wonder if Nelly's been in Australia ever since like R&B Fridays. Remember Fridays Live he came down? Yes. I don't think he's been back since, so now he's doing his own thing. His own full tour. I didn't know Nelly was still touring.

Oh, well. Loves his Australian fans, obviously. Oh, he loves his Australian fans. And we want to make sure we've got a bunch of rice cookers in there with them. So we have that every day next week. You can get involved. Plus we have the usual goodies. Alpha Bucks is going back to normal for $6.30 and $8.00, $10,000.

If maybe one of the couples had succeeded, we would have continued it. But I think they were getting worse. So we're going back to normal. It was surprising how bad they were. Two minds, you'd think that's double the information. We had a lot of people enter. It just didn't, you know. Maybe we picked wrong.

We could have picked the wrong. It's hard on paper. There was only five. People interview well, you know, and get the job. And then can they execute? No. We've known that. Sorry, we're slow on the uptake there.

We do. We know that. We certainly do. It's been a great week of shows. If you missed any of it, grab it wherever you get your podcasts or on Listener. Always go to Listener. Absolutely. Yep.

Subscribe to us, hey, Shaga? Yep. Follow us. Follow us. Follow and leave a review. Oh, yeah. get a listener. Absolutely. Yep. Subscribe to us, hey, Shaga? Yep. Follow us. Follow us. And leave a review. Oh, yeah. Leave a review. We got one review in August last year. And that's it. And that's it. Give us another one. Oh, we got a lot of DMs and text messages, but maybe it'd be nice to get us a bit higher up on the

podcast charts. Yeah, review us. Say some good things. That might be nice. You can say some bad, I suppose, as well, if you want. It's up to you. Hey, man, we're open to it. As long as it's constructive. That's right. We can always learn. You know, if we can't improve on it, like if you say, Jess, I suppose, as well, if you want. It's up to you. It's your review. Hey, man, we're open to it. As long as it's constructive. That's right. We can always learn. You know, if we can't improve on it, like if you say, Jess, I don't like your face, there's nothing I can do about that.

Your face is your face. Unless you're Nicholas Cage and face off. Someone offered me Botox the other day. Maybe that's someone who's like, I don't like your face. Would you ever do Botox? I'm not averse to it. I just don't think I need it right now. No.

My mum always wants me to get it, you know, for my frown. She just does not hold back. No. No, she doesn't. She always, anything I do Botox. It frown. She just does not hold back. No, she doesn't. She always, I think I eat Botox. It's Kate, he's expressive. I know.

And I'm like, Mum, if I get Tox in my eyebrows, I won't be able to move them. I love moving them. The next time you get cast in a Hollywood flick, they're going to go, give us some emotion, Ducco. I can't, I'm trying. And you won't be able to. Yeah, I don't want that. So maybe down the track, but not now.

Yeah, not now. No Botox now. But constructive criticism. We're open to it. Always. Like the guy who said, I don't like your game. Well, how can we make it better? Then we had 10 people say, I did like your game. So it's subjective, isn't it?

A lot of feedback on the bangers today. Oh, yeah. That was a tough carry, that bangers one. That was. Yeah. That's right. Fresh slate next week. Fresh slate.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone on the team. Absolutely. Whatever you are doing, if you're doing nothing, we just hope it's a nice day. You have a Galentine's night tonight? I do. My husband is working late so yeah, Lucia and I will... I went and bought you guys some treaties yesterday and I also bought some chocolate hearts. I thought

I would scatter them around for my husband and the woman was like, are these for your daughter? And I went, no. That feels like a waste to give her a chocolate heart. These are going to be leading to the bed, then I'll be there covering them. When he rolls in at 1am, I'll just wake myself up and be like, yeah, sweetie, should we?

Ready? Ready. He'll be like, I'm happy with the chocolate hearts. Thank you. Thanks so much. I'll eat my way first. Then he'll be sick from eating all the choccies. I know.

It's a big weekend ahead. If you are heading to Howland Country Music Festival, make your choice. It's going to be a ripper, ripper event. Yeah, I'll be in my Coober and me RMs. I was about to say, you got a hat? I don't actually. I don't look good in a Coober.

It just doesn't suit me. Oh, my God. I can't believe I told you. I went to Shy Guy's Mecca yesterday, went to Spotlight, looking for cowboy hats. Yeah. Only like baby ones. So Lucia's got one. I could have told you that.

You could dress up as a cowboy. They have the dress up kits. You know what they had? The Woody outfit. Yeah. But for $65, I was like, this is too expensive of a joke. For a bit of fun. Yeah, for a joke.

We'll be cool if you rocked up as Woody. Why don't you go as Woody? I'll go as Jessie. Okay. And we'll just yee-haw around. Can I go as Buzz? What's that got to do with country? You've got to be.

We're friends, though. Yes, you should. Okay. Sure. Well, I mean. People wear strangers at festivals. We could have just shy guy and Babs dress up with us, but they both turned us though. Okay. Sure. People wear strangers at the past festivals. Shy Guy and Babs dress up with us, but they both turn us down. My husband tried to offer them extra things.

I know. Babs gave me a vague fam stuff, and Shy Guy's dad's had a knee job and doesn't want to watch Tyler Childers with us. Your dad messaged me and said he was keen to go. It was just you. Oh, you just didn't pass on the message. Can you reply to me, then? I'll tell him to reply to you.

That's fine. More chip on a stick for us, Ducco. I love that. Anyway, whatever you do for your weekend, see you Valentine's Day. Enjoy. We'll be back Monday. We'll see you then. Bye-bye.

Bye. Yeah, no, it's a bit of a thought. It's about clouds and I don't really trust them. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.