Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Move on bitch

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

There's been a theft within the team... Ducko gets feedback from both his mum and mother in law and we ask what did your boss ban?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply. Jess and Duggo. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Yeah, hello. Welcome to the podcast. We're in for an absolute humdinger of a show today.

I must say, that's a 10 out of 10 show. Oh, you're giving it a 10? I'm giving it a 10 because my cheeks hurt from the giggles. From having laughs. From the laughs. And that's all we set out to do. When we roll in here, somewhere between 5.30 and laughs. From the laughs. And that's all we set out to do. When we roll in here somewhere between 5.30 and 5.35,

our mission is to have a laugh. And I think we achieved that mission today. Babs, would you agree? Yeah. And I think Babs was a major part of that. Babs was red hot today. You did well today. You lifted. Thank you. Were you happy with your performance? I think so, yeah. Your parents text you and say you did it, sweetie, all that sort of gear?

My mum did, yes. What about the housemate? Because you bitched about your housemate. And by extension, your housemate's mum. She definitely would have texted me if she heard it. She would have been on the way to work, though. So she might have, but I just don't know. I'll have to wait and see when I get home. Okay.

You never know. It was wonderful. Wonderful all round. I particularly loved the whale fart segment. I really think that captured the essence of what we stand for here at J&J HQ. And I wanted to follow up Lisa DM'd us. She obviously couldn't get in touch at the time. She said, not fully on topic, but I wanted to contribute to the where'd you let it slip or where'd you let it rip.

The phone topic did morph a little bit throughout the conversation. Yeah, yeah, it grew. She said, I have a seven-year-old who loves to say, you dropped it, when anyone lets out a fart. That's just like the catchphrase. Like you dropped your guards. You dropped your guards. It's obviously the catchphrase this kid has come up with. Yeah.

They were at Coles and an old lady bent over to drop something. She picked up a packet of peas, slipped out of her hand. She's dropped it and let out a bit of a fart. Lisa has rudely said she let out a Jess fart, which is just unnecessary detail. We've got the audio of a Jess fart. I think that's what she does. Tight sphincter.

Very tight. She goes, this old lady has let out a Jess fart so loud and without skipping a beat, the seven-year-old has screamed to this poor lady, you dropped it! We get to the checkout and she's in front of us in line, gave us a big stink eye. She didn't laugh? You have to laugh.

You'd think you'd laugh. In my old age, I am going to rip and fucking tear. Yeah, yeah. Your butthole will be on fire. Oh, I'll be naked all the time. I'll be stealing shit. I'll be telling people what's what in public. I'm going to have my testicles hanging out of my shorts because I'll be stealing shit. I'll be telling people what's what in public.

I'm going to have my testicles hanging out my shorts because I'll be that low by then. No undies. I am so restricted by embarrassment and self-consciousness and the rules of society. When I hit 75, it all goes out the window. And apparently you get more horny again than when you get older to that age. Supposedly that's a thing. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like the start of your life when you're a teen and your early 20s to the end. It's all cyclical. It's all cyclical. It comes back. It's going to come back around. But instead of wearing jeans, you wear diapers. Same shit yeah, yeah. It's like the start of your life when you're a teen and your early 20s to the end. It's all cyclical. It's all cyclical. It comes back. It's going to come back around. But instead of wearing Gs, you wear diapers. Same shit. Same shit.

It'll turn on somewhere at that age. Literal shit. I used to get turned on by a girl in a G. Now I'd be like, oh, Debbie's got a good diaper. Look at that. Is that a Huggies? What have you got? No, Pampers.

I think Pampers does adults. I saw now they have now got influencers for diapers, for grown adults to wear diapers. Shut up. I saw the call out for that on the show. Yes, they've got a diaper. But I did want to do it on the show. They're obviously looking for older models. No, younger people, but it's also people who have issues

that need to wear diapers, so they're trying to normalise wearing diapers. But now they've got diaper-like brands to make them look sleek and cool. Oh, my God. And customisable, I imagine. Yeah, I'd say so. You know, we've got jizz bits for our Crocs.

How can we customise our diapers for our light bladder leakage and whatnot? Honestly, I would wear a diaper if it was like a festival or something I knew. I mean, you've pissed in a wetsuit before at a festival, correct? A hundred percent. That's why I wore it. To try and mitigate the need to go to the loo. Yeah. And you stay in the mud.

If I'm wearing a diaper when I'm drinking beers and I could cut out at least 10 of the toilet breaks, I would. Oh, my. It would be soggy, though. And then, question, do you get changed by your partner after it? Well, you have to do it yourself. That would be demoralising. Lying yourself down on a mat and then trying to wipe your own arse.

Imagine needing all the baby powder. Honey, did you bring the baby powder? I have shit myself so bad. And the food fighters are about to come on, so I can't leave. I don't know what's happened to Lucia, our one-year-old, but she hates lying down on her back to get the nappy change. Fights it. So I do it standing up now, our one-year-old, but she hates lying down on her back to get the nappy change. Fights it. Wriggles.

So I do it standing up now and I'm like, whatever, sis. And just work it around her. That might be you. I don't want to lie down. I don't want to keep watching. I'm quickly working around Lucia. Trying to catch me. Get out.

He's off. Nothing funnier than a small bottom running away from you. Yeah, little tight cheeks. Little tight cheeks. Shaga, would you change my diaper if I had to? Come on. We've already had this conversation. How about diaper changing?

Jess would change mine. I think I said I would change. I don't remember this. This might be in your dreams. No, it was early podcast. You might be rude about this. What's going on with you? No, let me say.

I don't think it was diapers. I think we were talking about. Wiping someone's bum. Maybe it was wiping. Yeah. Wiping bums. You said not me. That's right.

Yeah, well, no one wants to do you because of the volcanoes you live in. I know, because you push your lactose intolerance to the limits. Well, I haven't been eating it. How is that going? Yeah, it's going. You're self-imposed ban on GYG. Well, I did have one hall pass the other day, but I haven't had it for two weeks. Oh, yeah?

Who'd you sleep with? No. I mean, like, all the GYGs. What'd you get from it? I was on your sex camping trip. What'd you go there? Just a bowl. Oh, a little bit of bur sleep with? No, I mean, like, all the GYPs. What'd you get from that? Oh, was it when you're sex camping? What'd you go there? Just a bowl. Oh, a little burrito bowl.

Yeah, nice. Have you got a dumb thought for us tomorrow? Oh, yeah. I've got to think dumb. Oh, well. God forbid she's like, I've done my work this week. I did my blog. Leave me alone.

I do do work. Whenever you have dumb thoughts, just write in your phone. Write in your notes app. No dumb thoughts. I just don't think dumb. Well, trust me, you do. You just don't know it yet. Yeah, that's the beauty of it. I do dumb things. I just don't think dumb. Well, trust me, you do. You just don't know it yet. Yeah, that's the beauty of it.

I do dumb things. I just don't think dumb. But you could turn the dumb things into dumb thoughts. That's right. A dumb action starts as a dumb thought. Yeah, yeah. Just reverse engineer it. Yeah, exactly right.

See? We're really getting your radio brain firing now. I know. Yeah. It's taking a fucking year. Yeah. We've really got her out of it. Do you feel yourself

growing as a person? Yeah. There's only one correct answer. You nailed it. Good job. I can feel the more stress, that's for sure. Oh, you feel a bit more stress? Why? Because of your lack of performance? Today's diary day. You and Shotgun are going to get mocha-focaccia frappuccinos. Yeah, you love that.

Maybe a toffee nut flavoured iced latte. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't buy a takeaway, though. Because you can't afford it. No, because of this challenge thing that I'm doing. I was going to say, I'll buy your takeaway for you if that's really, but if it's for you guys. I bought her a protein ball last week. She bitched about, oh, I can't even have a protein ball.

Because it's, what challenge do you want? I know you want a challenge. It's like the 75, my version. I know what that is. Well, you know the 75 hard. No. No. What's that? I know you want a challenge. It's like the 75, my version. I know what that is. Well, you know the 75 hard. No. No. What's that?

Oh, this is a thing. Was this COVID time sort of caught fire? Yeah, it's like an extreme challenge. And it's like you have to exercise twice a day. No takeaway, no alcohol. 10 pages of a book? 10 pages of a book every night. And then either you're in like a, pick a diet or whatever.

Okay. Yeah. This is where it's done with challenges like that. Like you are now just going from zero to a hundred and torturing yourself too much when you should just do a little, you can exercise once a day and do it well. Well, that's what I've changed it. So I'm only exercising once a day. Oh, that's the 75, my version.

Yeah. Hour long exercise every day. No takeaway, no alcohol, but I hit two passes at having GYG. Across the 75 days. Yeah. And you've used one of them. Yeah. Cause I was like. We having a badG. Across the 75 days. Yeah. And you've used one of them. Yeah, because I was like tired. We're having a bad day.

The no alcohol is always tough. Like, I'm trying now to go, I'm not going to drink until, so we've got a wedding in a month. I'm not going to drink until that wedding. But it's like, it's the cheeky one-off drink. I know. My husband will come home in a mood sometimes being like, should we open a bottle of wine?

I can't say no to that. You can't. You want to take advantage. You go, yes, actually. That's what I miss so much from Morgan being able to drink. It's the midweek bottles of wine where you're in it together. And you know, because we're now very much in this era of we could get hit by a bus tomorrow. What are we sitting on this good stuff for?

So we're open and fucking fancy shit. Maybe I should come to your house. Right, I'll text you. Next time he comes home, should we open a bottle of broken wood? I'm going to get a duck to come over and I'll get Morgan to drive me. She can sit in the corner and play with the baby. Yeah, I do miss that. I miss her drinking just as much as she misses it.

I tried to say to Angus, you won't be drinking when I'm drinking. Not because I'm a massive pisshead, but I'm like, no, no, this is something we do together. I don't want to see you having a glass of red on a Wednesday if I can't. Like I don't, I just don't want that. And he was like, yeah, sure. It went out the window. I don't drink like during the week on my own. If me and Morgan are together, even on a weekend, I won't. Like, I just don't want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, yeah, yeah, sure. It went out the window. I don't drink, like, during the week on my own.

If me and Morgan are together, even on a weekend, I won't drink now. But, jeez, the amount of me getting pissed since she's been pregnant, I have been putting the reps in. Yeah. You're drinking for two. Oh, my goodness. It's been relentless, you know.

Yeah. Has she had a, like, oh, I'd love a glass of wine, or is that just out of her head? She misses wine in particular a lot. She misses a glass. And by glass, I'd love a glass of wine? Or is that just out of her head? She misses wine in particular a lot. She misses a glass. Like, by glass, it's like a bottle of red. And we got a few nice bottles of red in the cupboard. And I'm like, are they going to go off?

Like, do I need to have them? Yeah, maybe I should. We don't want to waste these. Yeah, and I can't open them. The thing is, I want, like, one or two glasses, but I'm not going to have the entire bottle. 100%. Angus and I are very much in our white wine era, so it's good.

You can't have one or two put in the fridge. It's fine. Whereas red, it's like. What are you drinking? Chardonnay's making a comeback. Do you know what? A hundred percent Riesling. I always thought Riesling was a nana drink.

Holy shit. I've had some beautiful Riesling. I like Riesling. Semillon's my favorite. I actually don't like Chardonnay. Do you know what? I am loving, I know this is stereotypical for me, but the Italian grape, your Fiano, your Vermentino.

Italian whites are pretty good. What did I read in the cookbook I'm looking for the other day? White so crisp you could wear it as a shirt. Crisp white. Crisp white. There you go. Anyway. We haven't had a bottle of wine together as a team because Shia doesn't drink wine.

The one time I served Shia a wine when you guys came over ribs, it was one of my best reds. I had to tip his glass out because at the end of it I went, hey, didn't touch that. I had like two. You had two. I'm a generous pourer. I'm a generous pourer. And you don't like wine, do you, Babs? No, I do.

Oh, you do like wine. Ever since I've moved out, I've really started to like it. Red or white? I was drinking white wine, but I actually like red wine too. See, I found white wine harder to get into. Red wine was my gateway. See, white was my gateway. Oh, there you go.

But I now used to like pinots. Now I'm starting to like heavier reds. Oh, my God. I never got on the pinot bandwagon. My book club, pinot, pinot, pinot. I'm like, does anyone want a Shiraz? Yeah. Now I'm liking that hearty stuff.

You need a heavy. Yes. God, now I want a wine. Fuck. It's easy to get in the mood for it, isn't it? You actually got some here. I know. Oh, you got the wine. Fuck. It's easy to get in the mood for it, isn't it? You actually got some here. I know. Oh, you got the champagne.

It's a bottle of Moe. Bottle of Moe, yeah. Bottle of Moe. Which I will crack. Absolutely. I saw, you'll hear it in the show today, some controversy around the Moe we were gifted. Yeah, the Moe. Flowers we were gifted.

I saw as soon as we finished that break. Yeah, I put it onto my desk. I was like, fuck this, I'm taking it. It's not going to sit there. It's not going to sit there. They did include the beautiful people at Interflora, a little baby's toy. Is that going to make it to the baby in a couple of months or is that going to your fur baby? That's going to Pam.

That's going to Pam this afternoon. Poor thing. I keep whispering to Pam every day, your life is about to change, honey. You're number two. I don't think I've told you how much she's obsessed with me now and not Morgan. No. So it's like she's worked out that Morgan is pregnant and is occupied and might be feeling bad some days or whatever.

And so Pam is just like, she sleeps on top of me at night. She won't leave me alone. She follows me everywhere. I'm going to cut my losses. I'm going to put all my eggs in his basket. She's very smart. And she's like, okay, I need him now. He's the one that is mine.

It's going to be so interesting. I know. she's very smart and she's like, okay, I need him now. He's the one that is my. It's going to be so interesting. I know. We're very nervous. It's going to be so interesting when the little girl arrives, how this little girl takes it. She's never heard a baby scream. Do you know what we did actually? We got that advice to play.

There's crying sound effects. There's obviously everything on YouTube. Yeah. Can you play them off Morgan's phone and film Pam's reaction? Yeah, okay. Do that. I'll do that. It's a good thing. can you play them off Morgan's phone and film Pam's reaction? Yeah, okay. Do that. I'll do that. It's a good thing.

Like the smells, they recommend at the hospital, maybe get your mother-in-law to come back to your house with a blanket or whatever. Leave it for Pam so she gets four days or whatever of smells. But the sounds, yes, that was advice we were given. Play. That feels too baby. And I'm talking play screaming, crying, carrying on.

Okay, I'll do it tonight and I'll film it and we can do it on the show tomorrow. And film Pam. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll film. How she goes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you've got to start integrating this stuff. Oh, you do. Absolutely.

She knows a bomb's about to drop, but let's start. Her world's about to flip upside down. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I reckon she'll be plotting this baby's demise from the minute it comes home. She's going to be looking at this bundle come in being like, and then you know what will happen? She'll become number one protector.

Yeah. Oh, she will. You already had issues with people coming past your front yard. Once she's got like an infant to protect, there goes the neighborhood. She's going to be like bodyguard stuff. You're in my little tribe. Yeah. I went to go for runs with the baby and Pam.

Yeah. Are you going to get one of those joggers? Oh no, you talked about that. Someone said you can get them on Marketplace pretty cheap to me. Oh, okay, great. So maybe I'll do that. Because I don't know how often I'll use it. I mean, I want to use it.

Yeah. Our little girl is outgrowing the pram now. Like her legs are starting to bunch up. We're going, I think we're getting into stroller territory. Yeah, okay. And maybe something like that. What do you do with a pram after? You can sell them.

Do you sell them? Yeah, you can sell them. They're pretty good resale, I think. Yeah, yeah. I gave Lucia cherries in the pram the other day and she stained. That was dumb of me. I could have just bought your fucking pram off you. You absolutely could have.

We've already gone now. And you know what the thing was? I was going to offer it to you and went, ah, we're still using it. And now that I'm looking at her legs, I'm like, we probably aren't. We could have just traded between our babies. You know what? I was going to offer you something like these educational toys. And Angus was like, you've already offered them to four other people.

And I went, yeah, but the age development changes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The stages. Yeah, yeah. So by the time the little ducko comes along, I'll be able to get them back off Lauren. Yeah. Our friend who has them. He goes, yeah, but you're losing a piece every time they come back.

Probably. So you'll probably end up with half the collection. What's going on here? I mean, actually, that's a good point. It's more like a pram. You're getting, you know, there's a bit of cherry juice and a bit of... Yeah, a bit of schmuck on it. Yeah, yeah.

And stuff. But there is so much. You don't have to buy a lot firsthand because there's just so much. It's great that you've got a girl and I'm having a girl. I can't wait to come over with the tubs. Yeah, the wardrobes. I don't think you'll like any of it. But at least there's the option.

I said to Morgan, we can't have our daughter dressing like a lemon, so we probably can't take any of Jess's stuff. There's a lot of bold prints. What if my daughter likes cherries? I've got some cherry stuff. I've got a lot of fruit. Nectarines? That's the one fruit I don't have in my collection. That's what she likes then.

Anyway, hell of a show. Hell of a show. Enjoy it. Welcome to Thursday Team. Well, good morning. Good morning. Is this the last day of January? No, 31 days in January.

Yeah, 31. I was going to say. My God. Time is flying. Yeah, well, still, time is flying. Time is flying. You're absolutely right. I've got to enjoy every minute.

Tomorrow's Friday. Last day of January show, guys. Wow. Oh, let's let it rain. The year has officially started, you know. I really feel like January is a warm-up month. Like, nothing really counts. You can be a bit slow on your replies.

It's all good. The entire country, we should just not go back to work in January. January needs to shut down. I think January for us is like the Northern Hemisphere with their summer break. June, July. You know what I mean? Where they're all doing their vacays and the whole thing shuts down. That's January for us.

Because they get two. What annoys me about the Northern Hemisphere, right, is they get the June, July summer, which you always look forward to. It's hot. You get your break. But then theyisphere, right, is they get the gingerly summer, which you always look forward to. It's hot. You get your break. But then they get, well, Americans get Thanksgiving. But then they get Christmas, where you at least get a two-week break there. And let alone if you're in a snowy country, you get snowy days.

Slowed out. Your school's cancelled. Work from home. Work from home. Educate from home. So really, they've got multiple things to look forward to throughout the year, whereas we just caught the, there's that Easter period where it's hopefully a good long weekend, it falls on the right date, and then Christmas.

And we're slogging it through the winter, or trying to escape to the Northern Hemisphere. We need a winter break. I think we do. We need a holiday in winter. I agree. Something like that. It's hard, though, because we don't have that snow element, at least in a lot of parts of the country.

Majority of parts, yeah, yeah. So it's like, ah, you can't really embrace. I mean, I can go and stand in a puddle for a bit while it's raining, but that gets real tired real fast. Yeah, come on, we've got puffer jackets. I could wear a puffer jacket. It gets nippy. We took our little girl to the farmer's market the other day

and, you know, she's seeing puddles and this sort of thing, but we haven't bought the gum boot yet. So I became one of those helicopter parents trying to keep her out of the puddle. I'm like, sis, no, I don't want to put you in the car. Don't do that. I don't do that. And then, you know, the other part of me, let her be free.

Let her be a hippie. Be a free range parent. Totally. But then you've got to clean it. I know. And then she fell on the gravel and scraped up her knee. I went, I can't freaking. I should have just let her go in the puddle.

Do you think she's enjoying summer more or winter more? Oh, she does not do well in the heat like me. Oh, really? Does not do well in the heat. I tried to take her to a playground the other day at four in the afternoon. That was a safe time. Who designs these things? The slide had obviously absorbed the heat across the whole day.

It was that like shiny metal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That stuff gets real hot. It's like steel. Yeah, yeah. Bro, one. Oh, it's the black like. Yes.

Yeah. Blinding when the light refracts off the slide. Yeah. And it's the temperature of the sun. Who did design that? And I can't explain to Lucia, don't go on the slide. Cracked it. You know who's got good playgrounds?

Who designed them well? Ronald. Yeah. They're always undercover. Do you know what's so funny? How bad's that? Have not tried. I'll chuck her in a Ronald playground.

A Mickey D playground. But then she's going to have to get in it with her as well to follow her through those holes. I actually like playgrounds. They're tough to get in. I was trying to make sure Lichie didn't neck herself the other day on a playground. There was a big platform that she was, you know, teetering on the edge of. So I'm standing on the steps up there trying to barricade her. And I get this slap on my legs.

This four-year-old girl was like, no! I'm going! It's not your turn, lady. Locking her access. I went, you're old as balls, lady. Turned around and like made eyes with her dad. And the dad was like, you're in her way. I went, great parenting, bro.

Thanks a lot, mate. Great parenting. He's like, get out of my daughter's way. Literally. Staunches you. Literally. I think he said, he's like, she's got places to be. I went, she just hit me.

It wasn't Archie's fault, but still. I don't know if she'd be condoning she's got places to be. She just hit me. It wasn't hard. She's four. But still, I don't know if she'd be condoning that. Playground dynamics. I haven't been to a good playground in a long time. Oh, my God. And because Lucia's just a starer, she doesn't make friends easily. Because the kids are like, that little girl's looking at me. Shy Guy used to do that.

He made friends. So maybe Lucia needs to get from one lurker to another. Do you want to go take Lucia to the playground? No. Come on. Uncle Shy Guy, take Lucia to the playground. That might there's hope. Get from one lurker to another. Do you want to go take Luchita to the playground? No. You both can stay. Come on. Uncle Shag, I'd take Luchita to the playground. That might be really nice. And you're tall.

You'd catch her before she dropped off any of the... Yeah, but I wouldn't fit in the... You know you've got to walk through a tube a lot of the time in those playgrounds? You'd be right. I haven't found one playground with a tube. No, they're out there. They're out there. That haunt you as a kid, did it?

Yeah. No, they were the biggest things when you were a kid. When you're an adult, you go back and you're like, oh, I'm almost taller than this thing. I think the tube's out. I've not found any tubes. Dangerous, maybe. Maybe.

People still breaking wrists and arms on monkey bars? Yeah, probably. Hell yeah. Mate, some of the rope ladders. I went, who's? Playgrounds are crazy. They are crazy. They are crazy.

Those things that spin around and you hold onto it and it just goes round in circles. Oh, God. I watched this kid go flying off the other day because his brother wouldn't slow down. Remember when you could do that really quick and then just get off it and be a bit wobbly and then move on? Yes. No.

Not now. Not now. Tears. I just need a good lie down. It was a very sweet brother moment because the brother was like, you're tough, Jackson. You're tough. And the kid's wailing. I'm like, you just flew him.

Jackson. Jackson's dying. He's not tough. Don't try and give him the positive little spitter. You're tough, Jackson. We're going to get to a playground. Show excursion to a playground. I love that. Big show team.

You're all just balls. We're all just there. What's with all those four weirdos in the playground? Babs would be in our element. The police will get called. We've got 10k Alphax coming up in about 25 minutes time. Yeah, we do. Plus at 8 o'clock for $10,000. And we have a laptop to give away for the co-file,

the cool fam of the day. Mate, we've given away a couple so far. Let's keep going for this short week. Wordy oaky. We've got Babs' blog, which is going to be a controversial this morning. I know. Maybe we can quickly say it here because our housemate should still be asleep. But Babs came in and said,

I hope this one's worth it because I got into a big argument with my housemate over it. Welcome to Radio Babs. You're officially in. How do you feel? I don't know. She rang her mum. To like bitch about you or to ask for advice? A bit of both.

Just say you'll change her name. That's what I do. I didn't say real name. We're looking forward to that. But up next, I think I need to make reparations to a member of the team. Oh, yeah. I made a decision, possibly selfishly,

and then I tried to rectify it. My husband was like, the damage is done. So I'd like to offer an on-air apology next. But does the person know you've done something? I'm not sure. Let's find out. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco.

I think one of the greatest strengths you can have as a human being. Here we go. Knowing when you're stuffed up and being big enough. Making amends. And brave enough to make amends. Owning it. And say, sorry. This can't be me because I feel like I already know about it.

It is you. Does everyone know about a butt meme? No, no. Shy Guy was privy to it, but I don't think he knows what he enabled. And the guilt that has now been on my shoulders. Enabled? You're blaming me? No, no.

I'm taking full responsibility. Okay, you're in it, Shy Guy, too. Last Friday, Ducco, we very kindly got a delivery from people you know into Flora. Oh, yes. And they took that. Oh, I know what this is because I did think about this. I know. And none of you said a single thing about it.

I'm being the big person. Well, this is a two-prong attack, actually. I can't. Someone just walked out with the brand new flowers that were... Let me apologise. ...delivered for me for having a baby on the way. Now, everyone, shush. And the other one took the bottle of champagne with the chocolates and the card.

That wasn't me. That was sitting on the desk. Oh. That wasn't me. No one in this team took it. Oh. What do you mean? No, it's still there.

Is it? Oh, that's how little I pay attention. I thought you meant since yesterday. Babs, quickly, hide the champagne because that's a way bigger issue than me. Is it still there? Can I have it? I just figured that someone else in the office had taken it. Listen.

I did forget. Listen to me. Sorry, yeah. Last Friday, we get this humongous delivery. Yeah. And yes, champagne, a little toy card, Chucky, and these beautiful, beautiful bouquet of flowers. I'm glad you're bringing this up. You might have seen it on the Jess and Ducko story.

Let me tell Morgan to listen. Listen, Morgan's involved. So I love flowers. Who freaking doesn't? But I was like a magpie with a shiny thing. I went, I've got to have those. And you went to the bathroom and I think my brain just blocked that out. And I said to Shaga, I'm going now.

Can I take these? You saw a window where I was not present and you went, I'm going to sneak out. You know, it's funny. And Shaga went, I don't know, like that, which I took to be. The card was addressed to both of you. I didn't know it was for them. To be honest, I didn't even read the card. But what I did see was the package with the champagne

and what is clearly a toy for a baby. But I went, I don't know what that meant to me. I'm ignoring it. Out of sight, out of mind. So you did see that it was for the congratulations on the birth of the child. Once I got home and put these humongous, because they're huge.

They were massive. It wasn't just wrapped. I was texting Morgan, like, come on, bring these flowers home. And she's like, oh, the flowers. I was like, oh, someone took them. Anyway, honey, I'm off to a box. That was part of my thing.

I went, he's not even here this weekend. Are you owning your mistake? You're absolutely right. So it gets to, like, Monday of the public holiday. Yes. And it was like poison on my tongue. I went, I haven't even been able to enjoy this bouquet. Because you just seem annoying.

Because all I'm seeing is Morgan's face in every rose. Because she was at home. You weren't. Yeah, true. But she could have been enjoying these. Is that why you asked her to go out for a walk? No, I always. Because you felt so guilty.

So I wanted. Well, partly. And you were just seeing if she brought it up. So I said to Angus, Morgan is going to come to our house first and we're going to walk from here. I'm going to give her the flowers. Like, she's going to drive here, obviously.

She's not walking from yours to mine. She'll drive to ours. Migaluna can't walk that far. And I said, I'm going to give her the flowers. One, I can't enjoy them. And two, I think they were probably meant for her or at least her and Ducko. And Angus goes, you're just giving them her to die now. Like they are a week old basically.

They're already starting to wilt a little. You can't give her these because she'll get 24 hours out of them. You made your bed, lie in it. He basically wanted them staring me in the face so I would continue to feel guilty. So I've felt so bad about it since last week. It is Thursday. I had it to bring up on Tuesday. Shy Guy didn't put it on the board.

He's moving it. He kept moving it. He didn't know what it was. I honestly. It was pretty funny because I actually remember, because I knew Interflora were delivering it and they said this is it And you know them right I know her yeah And she said that

This is a new thing we're doing But also it's to congratulate you And your partner on the baby And we you know For you and Jess And we're delivering flowers All down the east coast I said great

We got the photo And then I had to run to the toilet I remember coming out of the toilet Looking at you You're like bye And you like had the flowers And you're at the door I was like

No discussion about that I was one foot out of the door And I heard the, no discussion about that. I was one foot out the door. And I heard the bathroom door open and I went, he's going to catch me. You were stealing them. And then I haven't been able, but I justified in my brain, they don't even give each other flowers. Morgan's not a flower girly. They don't do your Valentines and that sort of come home with a random,

but I'll get more joy out of them, which is what Interflora would want. And then I've just. like acid on my tongue. Oh, that's great. I'm glad. I thought the bottle of wine and the baby toy were gone too. No, I think they are still there, Babs. Can you confirm? Honestly.

Can confirm. Okay, they're still there. I'll take those home. You can take those home and share them with your pregnant wife. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions shy guy tickling you downstairs I'm excited for

$10,000 to be given away of course you are is there something in the air today oh yeah there is I can Is there something in the air today? Oh, yeah, there is. I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Can you feel it, Rihanna? I definitely can.

Yeah! Rih, sing it for us. I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, nice. Yes, Queen, that's the energy we need for Alpha Bucks. Yep. What do you want to spend 10,000 big ones on?

I really want to go swimming with sharks. Oh. Okay. That's cool. I've actually never done that. Do you do that in South Australia? You can do it. I don't know.

I've never Googled it, to be fair. Okay. You can do it. If you go to an aquarium, you can do it. Oh, of course. I bought my brother, what's the red balloon experience? Oh, yes, where you go in the cages? Yes, in the cage.

That's the scariest. And it was in South Australia. But Rihanna, is this some bucket list stuff? I just feel like it would be so fun. Yeah, okay. Being a shark fan. Hello, you thrill seeker. Okay.

I'm a big fan of Sharknado, The Meg probably. A Shark's Tale. Yep. Great movies. Great movies. Sharkbait. Thank you so much. I'm a big fan of Sharknado, The Meg probably, A Shark's Tale. Great movies. Great movies. Sharkbait. Thank you so much. That's funny, Nino. Yeah, but the word shark is in the quote.

Why are you talking over here? You can go shark diving at Sea Life Aquarium as well. Yeah. Okay, Brianna. I've got a few to choose from. Yes. And I don't think it'd cost $10,000. I don't think $300.

She'd have some change left over to take herself up for a nice surfing tour. She'd go to Jayburg and do it over in South Africa. That's where you get the hectic sharks. Yes, yes. I don't know if I'm ready for that though. Okay, alright. We'll start with the aquarium. We'll keep it an aquarium shark. Rihanna, I'm so keen for you. We've got a

solid letter. We're going to the top of the alphabet. It's A. Great. If I knew sharks more, I could give you a secret. Is there a shark? Is there a shark? Yeah. My knowledge of sharks is street sharks where they wear roller skates and skate around. So I can't help you there too much.

Hammer head. Yeah. A. Rihanna. Okay, perfect. Let's do it. Oh, my God. I'm excited for this.

Your time will start after the first question. Riri. Let's do it. Starting with the letter A. We need you to name a cartoon character. Anchorman? A technology brand. Apple.

A household item. Next. A cocktail. A fruit. A fruit. Apple again. Next. A cocktail. A fruit. A fruit. Apple again. Next. An animal.

Interact. Something you wear. No idea. A dessert. Wait, what was the last one? A dessert. I am so mad. Next.

Who says next? You're meant to say past. There was a bit on in that. Oh, my God. There was a bit on in that. Anchorman is a cartoon character. I'm Rihanna. Ah, no.

We lost it from the first question. We may as well have stopped. You were looking for Aladdin, Arthur, Ant-Man for a cartoon character. Anything other than Anchorman. Yeah, Anchorman is Ron Burgundy, Will Ferrell. Oh, very much a human man. A character. A household item could have been a llama or an air fryer, a fruit.

You'd already said apple twice, so you were looking for apricot. You can't hit me with an apple next. Move on, bitch. I'm never calling.. O'Mea. Something you wear, active wear, an ankle bracelet if you're starting that one fresh from prison. What's an anorak? Did you say anorak for animal?

Yeah, isn't that like a little animal? I gave it to you. I don't know, man. I don't know, though. I wasn't going to dig down on it. I think anorak might be something you wear, which just happened to be the next question. Yeah.

It was wigging me. I went, does she have the sheet? Rhiannon was all over the shop, but hey, it was a good time. It was an unbelievable time. No, you don't go by empty-handed. 100-year-old suspend at Urban Jungle Beauty. That is all yours. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. I know you will get to swim with sharks at some point. I believe it. Anorak is a jacket. You're crazy. Oh, wow. What have you all said? Okay, so you got two. I did my best.

It was fun. Oh, you should be, Rihanna. You got to swim with us. It's not quite sharks, but it's the next best thing. That's all that matters. That's all I'm saying. Jess and Ducko. Hey, it's Babs, and this is my blog.

Men's Operation Superstar Brat Play. Babs's blog, she comes to us once a week with a topic that she gets to choose. It can be within her life, it can be topical, what's going on in the world, and she brings it to us and we discuss. And to just bring the rice cookers in on some behind the scenes, this was to force Babs to do some work. Yeah, we just wanted to get her to do some content gear. She really fell off the radar bringing gear

that we had to build her a whole thing that she went, alright, I guess. Like, you know, her family went on a swingers cruise. It wasn't a swingers cruise. She had to poo in the woods on the weekend. I did not do that either. And the only way we could get across from the swingers cruise was to DM her mum. I don't want to have to get your family involved, but I will.

So now we have Babs' blog where she has free reign. Free reign to talk about whatever she wants. And today she's told us this has already caused friction in her household. Yeah, so I don't really talk about my housemates very much there. Because I kind of want to keep them, you know. Separate, yeah. It called compartmentalising. Yeah, and I kind of want to keep them separate. It's called compartmentalizing. Yeah.

And I didn't want to upset them either. But the other day I went to clean out my freezer because there was just so much stuff in there and I noticed something that was going on with my other housemate. So yesterday I came home and said, can I talk about you on the radio tomorrow? And she said, yes. And I said, sweet. This is it. So that's how you launch.

And she gave you a yes straight away. Without knowing. Yeah, without even knowing what it was. That's silly. Yeah, that is very silly. Yeah, yeah. And then she called her mum and got angry when she found out what it was. Yeah, she did.

And then called me a bully, which wasn't very nice. But here we are. Don't use the B word. The B word makes it serious. Yeah, yeah. So I was going to use an anonymous name, but I'm not. Lucy, my housemate. Yes. Oh, we housemate. Yes.

We really have been a bad influence on Sweet Bad. I know. What's going on in the freezer? So, I opened the freezer the other day and noticed that Lucy has been freezing really weird stuff in the house. Okay. She freezes her cheese, her muesli, and her coffee. Wow. Okay. Now, last week when we talked about Tim Tams becoming refrigerated

or at least being stored in the refrigerator section of Woolworths, someone called and said, I love my choc frozen. Yes. It just adds an extra element to it. Does she think it is better for the taste with these things? She thinks that it preserves the life of things. But in my defense, cheese doesn't go off that quickly in the fridge. What kind of cheese are we freezing?

Like the shredded cheese. So she gets it out of the freezer and puts it on. Like the sheer shredded cheese. Yes. And then sprinkles it on her food and then eats it. That's weird. That would not taste good again. And then the coffee.

How are we freezing the coffee? She's making a coffee. So it's coffee grounds and she's putting them in the freezer. She pulls them out, scoops them out when they're kind of still like frozen and crusty and then makes her coffee and puts it back in. How would you break? I've never frozen coffee grounds before, but are you able to like chip away at enough that you need?

Yes, you can, but they're still, you can feel that they're like. They're frozen. They're frozen. And then they wouldn't taste as good, surely. Yes. And usually as well, how do you break off enough? I don't know. It's a pantry item and it doesn't really go

bad. I think I've had oats in my pantry for a year. I don't know if they go that bad. As long as they're sealed properly. I didn't think you could freeze muesli. I mean, you can freeze anything really, I suppose, but that is odd things to freeze. It's to freeze and then immediately consume. It's not like a lasagna that you

take out in the morning, defrost and eat it for dinner. You've got to go into the freezer in the morning and get your muesli that you want to eat for breakfast when there's still ice crystals in it. What's wrong with the fridge? I don't know. Nothing's wrong with the fridge. Now, when you say she called her mum, is this because this is something they always did growing up? Well, I said to her, I'm trying to understand this behaviour because, one,

our freezer's like chock-a-block-ish stuff. I can't imagine you've got the full big one. You've just got the little compartment at the bottom. And-ish stuff. I can't imagine you got the full big one. No, we just got the little compartment at the bottom. And I'm like, I can't fit anything in here. My party pies. My party pies. Yeah, your party pies. Yep, my frosty fruits.

Yeah, because of your guts. Good work. Yes, yeah, a can of ice cream. And she said, it's just something that we've been doing since I was little. That's amazing. So her parents have been doing it. Yeah, and then when she rang her mum, her mum told me I was silly that I wasn been doing since I was little. That's what her parents have been doing. Yeah. And then when she rang her mum and mum told me I was silly, that I wasn't doing it.

Did you get your mum on the phone to fight her mum? No, because then I went and told my mum about it yesterday because I was like, am I doing something wrong, mum? What a simo-jay. She couldn't understand it either. Your mum's like, what a crazy woman. Yeah, see, it's not fair that your housemate Lucy got her mum involved. We need to get your mum involved.

Or at least Jesse Ducko. 13, 10, 60. Is this normal behaviour? Slash, what do you put in the freezer? Yeah. What are you freezing? This is, I don't want to take too sharp of a left turn, Ducko, but I was living with a guy for a hot sec and he put Glad Wrap in the fridge because his mum said that you're

able to store it better when you roll it out. It's like almost stickier. No. Yep. That's where he kept it because that's just what the parents did. Really? So isn't it funny what we pick up from our youth that you just think is normal? But it's funny that she took such offense to it being weird from you because you'd never

seen it. Like, we all find it weird. You're taking up real estate, precious real estate. In a shared fridge. In a shared fridge freezer. But that is controversial. Like I said, what about the bacon? Because she always takes bacon out of the packaging

and then just puts it in a Tupperware and it sits in the fridge for a long time, but she never knows what the expiry date is. She said she just smells it. And I'm like, wouldn't you put that in the freezer? You can't be doing that. See, like, that's, I don't know. That feels like a freezer thing to do, not cheese.

Jess once put her dog's testicles in the freezer, but I mean, that was for a radio thing. That's a body part. That's a body part. That's where it should go. Anything I think that's more normal. Man, I had it in the fridge and Angus was like, it's getting so healthy.

Okay, 131060, is this weird behaviour, first of all? And secondly, what are you freezing? What are you freezing? What is your family teaching you to freeze? Because your mama used to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us a call. Hey, there you go.

Good vlog. Thanks, guys. Freezing chat. Thanks, Lucy. I'll get you on that Good vlog. Thanks, guys. Freezing chat. Thanks, Lucy. We'll get you on that. Right now, 131060, we just had Babs' blog on for the first time. We debuted a new segment. And my God, she's come out of the gates absolutely raring.

Not only taking pot shots at her housemate, so much so that the housemate had to get her own mother involved and called Babs the B word. Yeah. A big fat bully. Yeah. Because Babs was questioning why she's taking up precious real estate in their shared freezer with cheese, muesli and coffee beans. We just thought it was weird freezing those items, especially the coffee beans.

Yeah, but she's called her mum because that's what they did growing up. So, of course, the housemate's going to grow up thinking, well, that's where we store these things to increase their shelf life. And they get very offended when she realises that it's not completely normal. That's right. She's on her own. But we thought maybe she's not on her own. Maybe people are freezing some things that are a bit left of centre,

but they're onto something we don't even know. Carla has called her on 13106 now. Carla, do you freeze any of these things or what are you freezing? I do. Yeah, shredded cheese. And, Carla, is the idea that you do like Lucy, Babs' housemate, it's like, we are having tacos tonight. That's all right.

I'll just put this bag of frozen cheese on the table and snap it off to put in your taco. Oh, it doesn't. Honestly, I love tacos. It doesn't take long to defrost once you put it out of the freezer. And why I put it in the freezer, I have no idea. Again, it is something that I learned from my auntie when I moved in with her when I went to uni. And I don't even know why I do it, but I've done it for the last 20 years.

Okay. So just putting it on the table is enough to defrost. It's not like it's a whole rigmarole. All right, Carla. Okay. All right. We'll take you on it. Sophie's called through on 131060.

What are you freezing? It's a bit weird, but a bit not what you're after, but I freeze people's belongings if I want to get rid of them. As in get rid of the person? Like the juju? Yes, I've heard of this. It's a revenge. And it works every single time.

I've done it recently. We had a customer at work that was just particularly heinous. He was a horrible bloke. And I put his business card and one of his stubby cools, like a promotional stubby cool, in the freezer. And two months later, I asked my boss, I'm like, oh, we haven't really heard from him. Where is he?

And he's like, oh, he's in jail. That's better than I thought you were going to say. He got hit by a bus. Holy crap. No, no. Sophie, do you have to do like a chant or a ritual? Or is it literally as simple as I'm putting this in next to my magnums and that's enough of, I don't know, a universal shift?

Oh, look, I'm not sure. I've done it a couple of times and every time it's worked. I mean, you need to do it with intent. You've got to put it in there and let, obviously I'm not crazy, you need to let the universe know what you want. Of course. I'm not sure. I've done it a couple of times and every time it's worked. I mean, you need to do it with intent. You've got to put it in there and let, obviously, I'm not crazy. You need to let the universe know what you want. Of course. I'm not just putting a hat in the freezer. Yeah, obviously, yeah.

We have standards. Yeah, and then you've just got to put it in there with intent and forget about it. And every time I've done it, it's worked. What other sort of personal items have you used that have been effective? What did I use? I used, I had things, for this fella, it was the business card and the stubby cooler. And then I've done it before with some landlords.

Oh, yep. And I think I put like a letter in there. I forget what the letter was a couple of years ago. Like a letter from them. Because you need to get some personal belonging. Yeah, yeah. It's almost, it's a little voodoo. It's got to be connected.

It can't just be a slip of paper that says ducko. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has to be, you know, your signed headshot. Yes. That I know you sent out to a few people. Obviously, people have that. I'll probably get plenty of freezers. Thank you for that.

Yeah, that's interesting. That is interesting. Kim's called through on 131060. What are you freezing, Kim? I also freeze my coffee beans. Okay. Now, this feels weird, Kim. This feels the weirdest to me out of all of them.

No, you're supposed to store coffee beans in the freezer. If you're not using them fresh in your machine, look it up. It says that you're supposed to store them in the freezer. That's where it's next best to keep them fresh. How many days do you need to use them by before you put them in the freezer? Like cafes, I'm sure, aren't chucking them in the freezer, but they've got a high turnover. No, no, no. I buy mine, I fill my coffee machine up, and then I put them straight in the freezer.

I don't store them anywhere else. And then when you want to make a coffee on Thursday morning, do you just have to, like, hack away at a little bit to then put in your machine? No, no, they don't freeze. They don't? It's like vodka? Coffee beans don't freeze. So you're able to still scoop?

No, no, like they're full beans. So I just pour the full beans back in the coffee machine. Oh, they don't fuse together. I'm picturing like they fuse together. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Freezing your coffee beans can be a game changer, allowing you to preserve their quality and flavour for months or even years to come. Absolutely.

You know like when you get a bag of frozen peas, sometimes it'll be a big clump when you get to pour it into your pot. But Kim, they still stay individual. Wow. Can you freeze them if they're ground? No, no, no. They're just like full coffee beans. I've never heard someone say no, no, no more to us. No, no, no.

Thank you, Kim. Okay, thank you, Kim. There you go. There you go. All right. Okay, we're learning a bit. Preach, sis. You, thank you, Kim. There you go. There you go. All right. Okay, we're learning a bit. Preach, sis. You can freeze anything.

Michelle, hello. Hello. What's the weirdest thing you're freezing? We have our pet rat, Lola, in the freezer at the moment. I'm presuming Lola's not alive. No. Lola unalive. She was three and a half years old, which is pretty old for a rat.

That was pretty emotional. And the girls, my daughters, weren't sure whether they wanted to cremate or bury. So I froze. So we went for the middle aisle and we just chucked her in the freezer. Be honest. Down the bottom in the bed you draw by herself. Wait a minute. Is there any part of you that's like, I'll wait for them to defrost Walt Disney when the technology catches up and we can reanimate them?

Maybe we can use the same tech to bring back Lola. Well, we actually just had a blackout for a couple of days. Oh, no, she didn't defrost. We're going to have to turn the generator on. Lola's going to defrost. Lola's going to thaw out and you're going to smell Lola. Because my issue with freezing Lola is you need to come to a decision eventually. She can't stay in there forever.

I know. I know, but she's going to stay the same in there. She's not going to change. Do your kids get her out and occasionally still just pay her? No, but every time we open the freezer, we say, hi, Lola. Michelle, is she in a freezer bag or a shoe box or what? She's wrapped in a special little blanket that she had and then it's a towel and then in a bag and then shoved in the bottom floor.

Shoved in? She's an ice block. I love that she's in a drawer on her own. But, you know, Costco does a sale. Michelle comes home with bulk, you know, chicken thigh and dim sim and goes, well, I'm going to have to put them all on top of Lola. Yeah, poor Lola. God forbid you get them all out one day for a barbie.

Oh, goodness. You've cooked Lola. You've cooked Lola. You've cooked Lola. Be very careful. Oh, Michelle. Thank you for that, Michelle. And hopefully all goes well with Lola and the blackout.

Yeah. Yeah, hopefully soon we'll work something out for her. Yeah. Bring her back. Jess and Zucko. 13, 10, 60. Where'd you let one slip out? Let me build to this.

So the UK were worried that the Russians were spying on them. Oh, no. Okay, that the UK's Royal Navy launched a frantic search for a phantom Russians off the coast after picking up two mysterious sounds in the ocean, okay? The Russians always have subs. They got something going on. The Russians always have subs. They got something going on. The Hunt for Red October.

I think that's a Russian sub. Fantastic film. Isn't it good? Sean Connery, baby. Is Sean Connery, he's not playing a Russian, is he? No, I think he's the American. He's the American. Oh, well, no, he's Scottish.

Who's he? I don't know, but it's good. Someone's playing a Russian, that's true. Someone's playing a Russian. Anyway, naval officers from the UK feared that Vladimir Putin had a drone sub dropped listening to the device on the ocean floor between the two islands in Scotland so they could spy on them.

They could hear intel. Scotland! Sean Connery. It all worked. Valet, but still. It was detected 100 miles from the UK. They went into a frenzy. They told everyone. And is that in waters? You know, like if it's international waters, who knows what's going on? But that's our waters. Exactly. Someone's in our waters. Someone's in our waters. What's going on? They probably told the king. I's international waters, who knows what's going on? But that's our waters. Exactly. Someone's in our waters.

Someone's in our waters. What's going on? They probably told the king. I don't know if he knew what was going on. It sparked fears of Russia's deep sea search unit known as Gugi. Or Jugi. One of the two. They're trying to...

G-U-G-I. They're trying to record signatures of the British subs. Anyway. Guess what it was. What can it be? What can it... I'm going to need you to get a Russian on. Is it googie?

Googie. I don't know. Russia's deep sea suit. This is very serious. This is like a threat to national security. Exactly. When they got someone in who's like a specialist in sounds in the ocean and this and that, they then discovered that the mysterious sound was in fact whale farts.

I think we've all made that mistake. I think it's a Russian sub. It's a Russian sub. It's a Russian spy. No, it turns out it's just whale flatulence. If those movies are to be believed, whenever there's a hint of a threat to national security, and they would get the Prime Minister in, they would get all the heads of the Navy and the Army and the Air Force. And all the consultants into that.

Say the word, I'll hit the button. Yeah, and they're watching the thing on the sonar. And then the expert comes in being like, guys, it's not Russia. Just for once, it's not Russia. This is Frank. He's a marine biologist. Frank, can you tell them what it is? I believe that is whale flatulence.

Also, I asked Shaga to get me whale farts and that's what he's whipped. Google it. That's what you is. I believe that is whale flatulence. Also, I asked Shaga to get me whale farts and that's what he's whipped. Google it. That's what you get. I feel like that was Jess. I don't feel like that was a whale. Remember that time we played whose fart is whose? I've still got yours on here. I'm pretty sure I've still got yours. This is actually yours.

I'm not making that up. Tight. Anyway, on 131060, where'd you let one slip out? Because they thought it was... Why'd you try and blame on Russia? Why'd you try and blame on Vlad? What did you try and blame on Russia? Who was your Russia?

Because whenever I let one slip out, Russia's my dog. Bam, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Pam did it again. Oh, it's that meat we've been giving her. Oh, goodness me. It must be the Gucci. Cookie.

No, you said it right. Gucci. It's Gucci. How do you know that? Because I went on a website, howtopronounce.com, and I typed it in. What does it say? Gucci. But how does it tell you that?

Oh, he's listened. Hang on. He's trying to... Gucci. Gucci. Gucci. That was worth it. We got the laptop to the mic. You ass. to... Gucci. Gucci. That was worth it. We got the laptop to the mic.

You asked. Gucci. Okay, Gucci. Okay. Where'd you slip one out? Where'd you slip one out? Or what did you try and blame on Russia? Who's your Russia?

Are we going to go Tiff here? Yeah, we're going Tiff. I love this. Hey, Tiff. Very quick on the phone. Hello. Which question do you want to answer? Yeah, yeah.

I let one rip while I was getting my year 10 certificate of the principal. And you never forget that. You were walking up like during the ceremony thing. Yeah. Going to the table. I was mortified. So you walked up on stage. Was it brewing or was it like, oh, where'd that one come from? No, I was mortified. So you walked up on stage. Was it brewing or was it like a, where'd that one come from?

No, I had no idea that it was coming. I've walked up on the stairs, up onto the stage, go to shake his hand and it's all dead silence. Well, there I go. There goes Tiff. There goes the Russian spy whale. There she is. And then my brother, who is in the audience, turns up and goes,

you're a beauty, sister, you're a beauty. That's a family thing. Okay. That's support you need from your siblings. That's a support. Oh, Tiff, that's exactly what we were looking for. 13, 10, 60. Where'd you let one slip out?

What are you playing Russia on? I'll even accept non-farts for blaming Russia on things. You know? Who's your Russia? We'll just open it up. There's a laptop up for grabs. There is. 131060.

We'll get you one next. Jessanducko. Jessanducko. 131060, we're asking where'd you let one rip? Because the UK Royal Navy launched a frantic search, full investigation for phantom Russians off the coast after picking up two mysterious sounds in the ocean. Which of course they concluded, it's got to be the Russians spying on us.

Absolutely. Remember there was that Russian white beluga whale, the beluga whale that had the head cam on the recorder and it washed up dead on the shores and they're like, this is a Russian whale. This is a Russian whale. It's giving Dr. Evil. What's the ones with sharks with laser beams on their ears?

Exactly the same. That's Vlad. Anyway, it turns out it was just whales farting in the ocean. I love the idea a marine biologist went, guys, guys, it's my time to shine. Gets his laser pointer out, being like, see those bubbles? Whale farts. You're telling us, Frank, there's no chance it's the Russians? No. Gets his laser pointer out, being like, see those bubbles? Whale farts. You're telling us, Frank, there's no chance it's the Russians? No, I believe this is whale farts.

Whether the whales have any connection to Russia remains to be seen. They could be Russian whales. You know what I'm saying? That's so true. How do we know the country of origin? Where those whales' loyalties lie? Do you think whale farts would knock out fish? Like it would smell so bad?

Like it would be like the fish would just be like... Do you reckon whales arearts would knock out fish? Like it would smell so bad? Like it would be like the fish would just be like... Do you reckon whales are Dutch ovening the fish? Like I do to my husband. I'm like, you do to this entire room, this studio. Me and Shy Guy just get killed. You know when you see those big surfers and they're in the middle of the ocean in those big waves? Yeah, big wave surfers.

Is that from whales? That's where they go. It says on Google that a whale fart will disorientate fish. Really? Oh, that's so funny. So we've got octopus. They just get confused. We've got octopus, octopi punching fish.

Remember Dave Attenborough did that thing? Pool fish. And now we've got whales knocking them out with their gas. I've always said this, but to get reincarnated and come back a fish would be the worst thing. Where are your hands? And we'll go to Mel on 131060. Good morning, Mel. Good morning, guys.

Mel, what are you calling about? Are you blaming Russia for something or where did you let one rip? No, so neither, actually. It's what slipped. How did she get through? Wait, wait. What are you saying? Well, you started with what slipped out.

Oh, yes. Sorry. We did start there. No, Mel, that's on us. You go. So I was at a party with my cousin, a lot of friends, and there was like, Mel, let your boobs out. Pull your boobs out.

Pull your boobs out. I'm like, my cousin's like, no, don't. No, don't. And it was all happening too fast. I had a few too many cordials, and my shirt just lifted up. And my cousin's like, no, don't, no, don't. And it was all happening too fast. I had a few too many cordials and my shirt just lifted up. My shirt just, where did you slip it out? I get it, at a party, you did a flag.

I love that you've interpreted that question. I know, shut on you. I'm glad you told me that. Yeah, so I was being told by my male cousin, no, don't, no, don't, as everyone's, do it, do it, do it. Well, I'm glad your male cousin wasn't the one going, get him out. Yeah, that would have been more alarming. Hey, cuz, get him out. Hey, man, boobs are boobs.

We're second cousins, right? It's legal in some parts, I think. Thank you, Mel. Drink responsibly. And also, thanks for interpreting it. Michelle on 131060, where do you let one rip? Morning, Mel. Drink responsibly. And also, thanks for interpreting it. Michelle on 131060, where do you let one rip? Or slip or rush it. I reckon now looking back on it after listening to you guys,

there could be a connection, but we were interviewing, so two of us were interviewing someone for a promotion and we were about three questions deep. It was going really well. And this ungodly sound came over from her side which she was we were sitting on timber chairs and there was the loudest fart and we just kind of tried to move forward and she stopped the interview and she announced that i just farted like she couldn't get past it because there was no way of moving past it.

She did it. And it's never not funny. I know. You have to own it. And especially in an interview, I'm picturing, like, power suit. And I love the detail. Tell me your strengths. I am detail-oriented.

But, Michelle, your detail on we were sitting on timber chairs. Yeah, because it echoed and her eyes widened. And then for the next ten minutes, we recreated the fart because I think farts are hilarious. Absolutely. I love the saying, people who don't find farts funny are just doing themselves a disservice because you've got to live in a world with the same amount of farts

but less funnies. Did she get the job? Anyway, she got the job. She so got the job. Yeah, good on her. If she didn't own it, she wouldn't have got the job. Absolutely. Guys, I need to stop the interview.

I just farted. I'm going to go to Jodie on 131060. It says you've called for Where'd You Let One Rip. Jodie? Yeah, good morning, guys. Good morning, guys. Basically, I was doing a parade and drill practice with the Australian Air Force and basically let one pop.

It wasn't a drag one. It was a pop, and I had the actual instructor in tears because it was so loud. Very embarrassed. I was going to say, they're quite formal affairs, Jodie. It's very rigid and proper. Exactly. Okay.

Topic of conversation. Don't worry about that. Absolutely. You've got a bond now with the instructor. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Your guts don't know. Thanks for everyone. She could blame Russia. It feels like it's in that field.

Thanks to everyone who held for seven minutes to tell us their fart stories. Jess and Ducko. Please word to my own. Word up. You took the word right out of my mouth. Word-yokey. This is a bit of fun. Oh, yeah.

Always. Test the brain on a Thursday. Babs has come in as quiz master. She's going to give us a word. Ducko, myself. Shy guy. We're going to try and a word. Ducko myself. Shy guy. We're going to try and sing a song that has that word in it. Now we need Babs to step up here.

We need her to be the proper quiz master. Yeah, she's been too soft and gentle. Kitten. Kitten-like. Well, we need the lioness to come out. Because otherwise this thing goes for way too long. We're already late as it is. So Babs, have you taken this task? Do you accept? I've been thinking about it all week, so yes.

We've had a good show so far. She's had a cup of concrete this morning. She's going to be tough. Hard enough. Alright, let's go. First question. First word. Super. Super

Trooper lights are gonna find you like they always. I know what that song is. It's Super Trooper by ABBA. Oh, that's why. I knew my point to Jess. Nice work. Lost on us.

Super. Okay. All I could think of was Super Mario. It was like. Themes count. All right. Next word is good. Good luck, good luck.

Good luck in your new way. Until your nightmare's up. Good luck, Basement Jax. Sure. All right. Point to Jess. Is Good Girls Gone Bad a lyric or is that the name of the song? That's the name.

It's both. It's both, but you stopped after you said that one line. Because I know the rest of the words. Yeah, so point to Jess. Isn't that a tie there? said that one line. Because I know the rest of the words. Yeah, so point to Jess. Isn't that a tie there? Good girls going back. That's not the rest of the words. But Jess also finished it and kept going.

Anyway. So two points. There's the lie. You're just joking. All right. Okay. So at the moment, Jess is leading back to. I see what's happening here with the tacos.

Yeah, I see what's happening. It's because I had a go at her last one. Yeah, okay. All right. See where the allegiance is lying. All right. Let's try again on the board. Ducco and Chaga.

Yeah. Okay, okay. All right, see where the illusions lie. All right, let's try get on the board, Doko and Shaga. Yeah, okay, man. All right. Next word is hand. I'm going to make your hand clap. That's a song. You know it is. You and your hand tonight. What is that song?

Pink. No. You and your hand tonight. I'm leaving your entertainment. Just you and your hand tonight. No, that's me. You and your hands. I'm leaving your entertainment. Just you and your hands tonight. No, that's me. You and your hands tonight. Which one are you going with?

Well, my song was real. Was it? Yeah. Hand clap. I don't know who sings it. Was there enough on Shy Guy's first, Babs? No, it's the same thing with Ducko. So what?

You're not a rock star. That's a totally different song. You and your hands tonight. You got it. I don't know. Honestly, I promise. Are you avoiding that? Where's it going, Babs? your hand tonight. You got it. I don't know. Honestly, the problem is I don't know the rest of the words. Are you avoiding that? Where's it going, Babs?

Where's it going? No one. Okay, no one. Okay, all right. That was not good. Hand is gone. Null and void. Okay, next word is on.

I'm on top of the world. Hey, I'm on top of the world. Hey, make me feelin' all right now. Ducko's on the board. Thank goodness, me. All right. Good, good song. And what a little cheeky word. I know. Mm. So, Jess is on two, Ducko's on the board. Goodness me. Good, good song. And what a little cheeky word.

I know. So Jess is on two, Ducko one, Shy Guy zero. Right. Next word is rain. Rain on me. It's raining, man. That's raining, isn't it? Rain on me.

At least I'm alive. Rain on me. Rain, rain, rain on me. At least I'm alive. Rain on me. Rain, rain, rain on me. Rain. Point to Jess. She's won. She's won. Oh.

Woohoo! Yes! Sorry, I did it again. I tried. Did you keep it? So the tally is 3-1. And zero to Shy Guy. Yeah, thank you.

Do you want to do one more and see if you can get on the board? Yeah, let's do that. Jess has won, but... Sure, this is why we Guy. Yeah, thank you. Do you want to do one more and see if you can get on the board? Yeah, let's do that. Jess has one. Sure. This is why we're late now, but sure. I think we need to go to seven in order to keep the contest good. Because people can bolt down the gates at three. When it's a clean sweep.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why it's a little bit, you know. Okay, let's just do one more. Okay, righto. The next word is real. It's real, real, real. That's a song? Real.

Real. Real. Real. You make me. No, it's Natural Woman. Jeez, I can't get one real. Real. Because I'm real.. Because I'm real.

Yeah. I'm real. Are you giving up? I'm giving up. I had the real Slim Shady. Oh. Oh. Yeah, it's right there.

I never think of the rap world. No, I don't think of rap. I couldn't get Michael Bublé out of my head for some reason. That's fever. I know. I know. Anyway, yay. Anyway, Jess takes another one.

Jess won again. Jess and Ducco. A new trend that's already, it's only nearly February. It's the second last day of Jan, but it's sweeping the world and the workplace. Okay. Is this from the youth? Yeah, obviously. It's all from Babs' people.

It's always, yeah. They love a trend. We should be careful about Babs because she might do this to us. It's called revenge quitting. I was going to say, they love a quick sweeping trend. Oh, yeah. Particularly around, what did we have? Oh, we had quiet quitting in 2024.

Quiet quitting where it's just like you disappear into the ether and like that's that and you just go away for no reason. What's revenge quitting? Revenge quitting usually is a response to negative workplace experiences, which I mean, you know, it's hard to not. That's just quitting. Yeah, yeah. But what they do is they do destructive actions.

So before you quit, you blast the company either online, you accidentally send an all-staff email, you erase important documents, or you just change passwords. Do not tell anyone the password. Then you quit, give your boss like three days' notice, even though you're meant to give two or four weeks, and you just don't come back. What was the thing?

Remember, was it last year or the year before where someone quit from Twitter slash X and they put all that crap out about Trump or whatever it was and they had to be like, oh, an intern changed a password. It's like, nah, he was just trying to get back. He was just trying to get back at them. That one maybe was revenge quitting. So people are revenge quitting and trying to burn the company as they go. And I'm like, you know, everyone wants to be angry about things and wants to throw people

under the bus. I mean, my mama taught me, don't burn bridges because you never know when you need the referral, the recommendation. If it's a small town, everyone talks. Do they not care about this? They're like, I don't care. I'll stand on my own two feet. They're not thinking too far ahead.

Yeah, okay. For example, we just played wordyoke and we were like, Babs is a quiz master. And we're like, Babs, come on. We're always giving her some new feedback. She could just one day have it with us and crack it and then just revenge quit and get on our Jess and Darko socials and just post some weird things. She does have the passwords and all that jazz. She could blast us.

Yes. The next round of Wordyoke, she just uses really hard words and goes, mic drop, I'm out of here. She's like, orange. And we're like, come on. You're all 0-0-0. I quit. I hope the most ruthless revenge quit there is.

It's Babs we're talking about. Saint Mary. So this is sweeping. So be careful. Yeah, mainly big corporate companies, people refusing to work long hours, not wanting to do it. Is that not a chance? I know we laugh about the wussification of the nation,

but it's like, hey, can we sit down and have a chat about your performance? I'm going to burn this place to the ground. I'm out of here. You're done. I've changed the passwords, Gary. Good luck. Good luck getting into that. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. Yes, you have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice, and if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back to you, of course, if there is time. We are playing for $10,000.

We're in a mood for it. But the question is, are you, Bec? Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Bec, we're pretty good. Unfortunately, we've yet to give away $10,000 in Alphabucks in 2025, even though we try.

Twice a day we try. Are you going to be the person who finally takes it off our hands? I sincerely hope so. Do you normally go all right when you play along? I do, I do. I get better than one. Better than yesterday, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shots fired at yesterday's player. What do we get at 6.30 today? Two. Like three, yeah. Not good. Not good. What do you want to spend $10,000 on? Look, I'd like to be a little bit selfish.

I haven't had my hair done for a while. I need a bit of a manicure, pedicure, massage. Pedicure, yes. We need a pamper week for Bec. She deserves it. This is a great omen for you, babe. She got it. Your letter's B.

B for Bec. Oh, there we go. Come on. All right. Your time is going to start after the first question. Are you ready? I am. Here we go.

Starting with the letter B. We need you to name a dog breed. Border Collie. A famous landmark. Pass. A fashion brand. Burton. A girl's name.

Bella. An alcoholic spirit. Bacardi. A band. Black Eyed Peas. A breakfast food. Bread. A band. Black-eyed peas. A breakfast food. Bread.

An animal. Bird. A clothing item. Boots. An instrument. Banjo. A famous... Okay, came in there with Banjo right before the buzzer. To get yourself eight, maybe seven,

depending on if black-eyed peas is the black- Eyed Peas or Black Eyed Peas, but let's give it to you. It's dangerous, yep. Eight. I didn't know. It could be nine. Fashion brand, you said Birkin. Birkin does bags.

Okay. Birkin bags. I didn't know if you were trying to shorten Birkin's stock. Oh, yeah, no, Birkin does a very fancy, expensive bag. Then you got yourself nine. Goddamn. Ah, so close. So a famous landmark, if you'd said Big Ben or the Berlin Wall,

that's a tough get, famous landmark. You would have actually got 10. You were a hell of a player. Excellent. Oh, well. Ah, jeez, that was close. Oh, well, sorry. Bec's like, ah, water for dogs back.

I tried. $100, though, can be a way to spend at Urban Jungle Beauty. That is all yours, Bec. Excellent. Thank you so much. What did your workplace or what did your boss ban? So you call up and you say, oh, my boss banned long toilet breaks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You could win a laptop. My boss banned taking my phone to the toilet. Yes, yes. We're talking about this because Ben Stiller, you would know him, very famous actor. He's been in everything. Night at the Museum. He's about to be in Happy Gilmore 2.

He voiced the lion in Madagascar. You might know him as Alex the Lion. You want to go for Meet the Parents? Do you want to go for Zoolander? No, I don't like Meet the Parents. Controversial. I don't think it's that funny. Great film.

Madagascar is funnier. Zoolander 1? Zoolander is great. You would know him from Blue Steel. Oh, yeah. He has sort of shifted away from acting to behind the camera. He has entered the director phase of his career. He is currently the man behind very popular show,

branded one of the best TV shows ever. I know you're a fan, Ducko. Severance. Severance is a great show. There was about four years in between season one and season two. Is season two just come out? Just come out. Because I'm like, it's trending everywhere at the moment. Okay, so it's a new season. It's on Apple Plus, so you've got to have that platform. But yeah, apparently it's phenomenal. Yes.

He's been doing podcasts and press and interviews because obviously ahead of the series launch. And he's revealed something that he has banned on his set. Not something that is just unique to Severance. He's like, this is a thing I picked up from another director and now I have it across the board. Anything I'm doing, if I'm in charge, this is a rule. I've banned chairs. Interesting one, banning chairs on set.

He saw a director. People need to sit. He saw a, I guess you'd say a colleague, a peer, do it on the set of his movie. And he went, Noah, there's no chairs on your set. He goes, yeah, I don't like people just lounging around, sitting around. It saps the energy. It saps the energy. And he went, I see your logic.

I'm going to do it too. He's taken it a step further though and banned phones. He goes, there's nothing more I hate than seeing an actor, maybe, for example, Severance, Adam Scott, seeing him pour his heart and soul into a scene. And then you look over and one of the camera dudes is hunched over scrolling on his phone. He goes, I don't like the environment it creates. I've banned phones.

I like it. I like the banned phones on set. The chair's a tough one if you need to sit down. Because even from a director perspective, you often see Spielberg and he's sitting in that fancy chair. Yeah, behind. And it says Spielberg on the back and he's watching the camera. Nah.

No chairs. Ben Stiller, no chairs and no phones. Interesting thing to ban. Yeah, absolutely it is. Steph got in touch on the Jess and Ducko Instagram. Yes. She said at my old job, I went on an eight-week honeymoon. After I got back, the boss banned anyone going on holidays for that long.

Really? So what I'm hearing is the organisation collapsed with Steph gone for so long. So the boss has gone, that's it, no more long holidays. What did our office hear Bam Babs was telling us? Was it the drinks or the snack trolley? Yeah, you're not allowed to get snacks out of the cupboard. Because people were getting... Like yourself.

Because everyone was eating them all. Yeah, people were getting too much. We're not grown adults. We don't have any self-control. We have a lock and a key now to our snack cupboard. You're banned from helping yourself. Yes. Do you know what?

I don't actually see accessible toilet paper anywhere. That's probably under lock and key as well. Because you used to steal it when you first moved in here. I used to steal it. That and the post bags. I was running for it. Who needs those? And a bit of paper every now and then.

Yeah, things like that. Pens. I'm going to buy my own stapler. That's what I get a for it. Who needs those? And a bit of paper every now and then. Yeah, things like that. Pens. I'm going to buy my own stapler. That's what I get a job for. That's why I'm here. The stationary cupboard, the snack cupboard, the toiletries cupboard. They're all locked. Absolutely.

No more self-service. Sarah's school through at 13, 10, 60. Sarah, what's your workplace ban or your boss? I'm not allowed to call you guys at work anymore. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. So sorry, did you get busted on the phone too often and then revealed, I'm calling me mates on the radio? Well, I won something a couple of years ago

and I was boasting about it and I don't think everyone, I think they were just a bit jealous. What's your boss's name, Sarah? We'll give him a call out, we'll give him a shout out that you should be allowed to call us during work time. Phil. Phil. Hang on, Sarah.

Are you at work right now? Look, I'm on maternity leave, so I'm off late at the moment. I was about to say, suck it, Phil. She's called. Suck it, Phil. She's doing it. Phil, you let Sarah and all the colleagues call in. And you let them brag when they've won.

We have lots of contributions. If you were cream of the crop who won a prize, that means you were the best. Absolutely. Oh, you should be able to talk about that. You know what, Sarah? We'll give you a fridge magnet. Oh, and please put that on the frickin' work fridge. And draw a little speech bubble coming out of Ducko's mouth.

Suck it, Phil. Suck it, Phil. 13, 10, 60. What did you ban? Workplace bans. Boss bandit. Your boss ban. What did you ban? Workplace bans. Boss bandit. Your boss ban. What?

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What did your boss ban? Yeah, Ben Stiller has moved away from acting. I think he's hung up his Night in the Museum boots after the third one came out. He's like, I'm going to direct. I want to be the boss. And he is directing this new show, Severance, smash hit worldwide.

Great show on Apple TV. They're doing press, obviously, for season two's launch. And he's revealed he's banned a couple of things from his set. Phones, which makes sense. I think a lot of workplaces probably do ban that because people just scroll and scroll and scroll. But he's also banned chairs. No chairs, no seating. Because I saw it on another set, and with no chairs,

you can't just lounge about. There's a lot of people on set too, like a lot of people behind the camera. And I imagine, Ducker, you have been on movie sets. You were cut. That still doesn't discount that you have been on a set. I've seen it. When you're not having to do something. You're doing nothing.

You're doing nothing. You're just sitting there. Potentially for ages. I was in my trailer, obviously, eating grapes. But, yeah. Just having Paul Giamatti feed you grapes. Me and Paul. But there is a little bit of downtime if you're not the one in front of the camera, right?

Heaps. So much downtime. So, chairs feels like a controversial thing to ban. It's tough. But he's the boss. He can do what he wants. Maddie on 131060, what did your boss ban? Morning, guys.

My boss has actually banned all jeans. All colors, all cuts, but no jeans. Can I ask what industry, Mads? So I work for a uni, and yeah, it's a very fluid place in terms of fashion, but jeans is a no-go. I would have thought jeans for if you Jeans for, like, if you were, like, the lecturer or something like that. So what are you meant to wear? Chinos or, like, pants? Or, like, a trouser.

Yeah. I think just, like, a general slack is... Or, like, a skirt for the females is sort of the standard. But I've sort of tried to pitch, you know, what about, like, a nice, like, dark wash with, like, an oversized blazer, wide legs. But I kind of, not to be the fashion police, I kind of get like, you know, your skinny jeans and your ballet flat and your Suzanne's top.

Like maybe not. Okay, it sounds like you're really targeting your colleague there, Maddie. Careful. Not that one, Jeannie. Yeah, your Suzanne top. Don't be bringing Suzanne into it. Poor Suzanne. Suzanne is a great establisher that works hard.

I know, we're big fans of Suzanne. Okay, jeans. But it's funny, like, other pants are allowed, but no, I've got a thing against jeans. I don't think jeans are that informal. No, I don't. A dark wash. A black jean.

What's the difference between a black pant? You can dress a jean up. Absolutely you can, but not with your bloody ballet flat and Suzanne blazer. Jenny. Emma, what did your boss ban? Hi, guys. So my husband owns his own business, he's a handyman,

and he's actually banned a couple of things. So the first one is I'm no longer allowed to take any measurements when working with him. I stopped up a few times, so I'm no longer allowed to do that. Fair, okay. And he also banned working when it's raining because he doesn't feel he should have to work when it's crappy outside.

He's the boss, baby. He is the boss. Oh, you don't have to take measurements. What do they say? Measure twice, cut once. But even if Emma's doing it twice. Oh, yeah. No, the kitchen went in wrong.

It's still wrong. It's two different measurements. You're done. Yep. Tanika on 131060, what's your boss band? Coloured headbands. Ooh. Just like a hair tie or the full thing that goes over?

Both. It was a few years ago and I came into work with a pink headband. And I work in a supermarket, so it's very random. But they had to be, he told me they had to be supermarket colours. Oh, okay. It could be the red for Woolworths, or is Coles red? Yeah, red for Coles. Coles.

Green for Woolworths. Yeah, but hang on, the supermarket colours are colours. Like, red or green. Yeah. Aldi's blue. Yeah. Apparently pink was not it. Pink isn't it.

Okay. Pink was not it. Ah. I it. Okay. Pink was not it. I mean, I get it like when schools have a uniform policy, but like, you're a grown adult with a pink hair tie, who cares? I know, you're still wearing your holy shirt. And also, what if you have pink hair? You know, the pink hair. Hair was it too.

Oh, no, you don't like the colour of your hair. I assume you like it. A girl actually quit over it because she had blue hair and they tried to tell her that she wasn't allowed to. Yes. I had a friend quit because I tried to make him shave his beard. He's like, you won't tell me what to do with my hair? Yeah.

Tried to ban beards. You can't be banning a beard. You can't be banning a beard. God, it's taken me years to grow this thing. You're not banning it. Samantha, wrap us up here on 131060. What did your boss ban? Good morning.

Well, I used to work for an insurance company, and obviously we were very busy so the queues were very high so our boss actually banned free toilet time so we were still allowed to go to the toilet but we were only allowed 10 minutes for every eight hours that we worked and what we had to do was we had to like clock out of our phone so you dial out say that you're offline run to the toilet run back and clock back in because you're accumulating your 10 minutes at the time the issue with that was is i had something upsetting my tummy at the time so i couldn't figure out what that was so i think just the thought of

having the 10 minute toilet break pressure anxiety yeah anxiety irritable bowel anxiety yeah yeah yeah so i um yeah it was quite funny actually because quite a few of us you just see them running to the toilet running back clocking back in and he would print off a report at the end of the day to see if you'd say within your 10 minutes toilet break time because people were going oh the queues are too big i'm gonna sit on the toilet for a while what would happen what would happen at the end of the day sam if you went samantha come into my office, you've clocked into 11 minutes, you went over your allocated 10,

what would the punishment be? I'd just get in trouble and they, look, to be honest, they weren't a very nice boss, so you'd get in trouble. So everyone was petrified, even though nothing would probably happen. Yeah, but still just to have that conversation about your bowel movements. If I was on the clock for doing number two or whatever, I'd get poo's-ity. I would not be able to.

Absolutely. It would be nerve-wracking. It's so sweet a feeling knowing you're getting paid to poo. You know what I mean? That's the best part of the job. One day I'd eaten Feta and it obviously didn't agree with me. Oh, no. So I ended up having to – I was crying and cold and sick and said,

I've got to go home because I was so scared that I was going to use up all my 10 minutes on the toilet. Okay. You took a little over half a minute. We've taken pot shots at Suzanne and now fed up in this practice. Fed us on good for someone with LBS. Could you imagine if we had Babs on that 10-minute preview? We should.

Let's see. Let's see how it physically manifests. Let's accumulate Babs' toilet time. No, please don't. Jess and Daco. You know I do the weather for today's show casually every now and then. Get to go to weird places and do weird things, usually with kids and animals, and try and make them perform on TV and hope for the best.

Yes, yes. And read temperatures in places that a lot of the time I haven't been to. The boy has a baby on the way, and he's in his hustle era. Busy. Been busy. Busy. You've got to earn for that family. Yeah, busy holiday period.

People are like, did you even take a rest? You know? No. I mean, someone's got to do the weather. You know? Someone has an obligation to the country. I need to know where every single place is, what every single place is facing. Exactly. Rain or no rain.

I was talking about the time that I read the wrong temperatures out for the entire show and they didn't even realise until three quarters of the way through the show because I had last week's weather. How important did you feel in that moment at the job you were doing? You do seven weather crosses an hour. Sorry, in the whole show.

And I think I got to number five and they're like, are you reading out the wrong temps? I was like, did no one notice? I was imagining someone called in from Cairns and was like, oi. Oi, you've just said we're expecting a top. I'm looking at the sky. It looks pretty overcast to me. Look out your window.

Anyway, when I went to the Oz Open, I had to play tennis. Hot shots tennis for small people, kids. It's like a little miniature net. They have little paddles and they sort of hit the ball over the net and it's like little rackets and stuff. Sure. So the funny thing is when you do weather and stuff, they always want you to have kids in there and have colour

and kids freeze up on TV and notoriously they just want energy and stuff. And I imagine on the other end of that spectrum are the showboaty kids and they're trying to knock you off and take over too much. It's like, where's the middle ground? You get parents who are pushing their kids. Who are like, oh, this is my kid. You're going to interview my kid, right? And the kid's like, mum, leave me alone.

Exactly like that. But then a lot of the time you've got to play games with these kids, i.e. tennis. And it's this fine line. Well, if you pulled out a soccer ball at the Oz Open, people might go, this is weird. What are you up to? Why are you doing that? But it's a fine line between playing with the kids and then like playing well. Dominating.

Yeah. So you can't dominate because you look like a jerk. Yeah, but you're their height. So it just looks like you're playing with your penis. But I get competitive. So it crosses my mind to really slam down a forehand at little Timmy. Like, I'm like, do I? But you can't do that. I'm going to go all Novak on this kid. Suck it. You can't do that because you've got to make it look like you're playing with the kids

and you kind of need it. But you also don't, when you play that sort of, you know, relax and trying to be really like a kid, you then look like a bit of an idiot playing yourself. Absolutely. It's just fine balance, right? Now, Morgan's mum is a very competitive lady with games, and she's quite sporty. My mum, not sporty.

I wouldn't say my mum's super competitive, but always proud of everything I do. Absolutely. But always has a lot of feedback for you too. Always has feedback. So, again, the fine line of, are you taking this seriously? Yes. Loving son?

Yeah, loving son. On your shirt. So then I played the tennis and I played like I missed, I think I hit it over the net once and then I hit the net a few times. Did you do that? Yeah, it was a bit like, oh, there you go. And then as I was doing that, I kind of hit a couple of bad shots. Whilst you're saying the weather?

You finish reading the weather, then you cross back and they're in your ear. So you've got people talking to you in your ear, having a conversation while you're trying to play a game with kids and you're also thinking about not going hard to the kids. That's a lot. There's a bit on. There's a bit on, okay? And as I finish the weather, I get two texts from both my mother-in-laws,

separate, obviously. They're not watching together. No, no, no. They just happen to be at the same time. Mum's like, because my name is Nick. I think that's the story. Mum's like, oh, Nicky, you play so well. You're so talented, sweetie.

Oh, God, love her. And I was like, lol. The next text I get from Morgan's mum, hi, Darko, looking good. I think you need to work on your tennis shots, though. Because she used to play tennis. And she's like, your technique is atrocious. And she's the word atrocious. You can tell you've been in this family for a long time.

There's no stepping on eggshells anymore. I was just like, I'm playing tennis with kids, okay? Could she not see the element of... That's how competitive she is. Wow. She's one of the most competitive people. We played card game. Did I ever tell you, we played Secret Santa over Christmas with Morgan's family, but it

was bad Santa. Were you still? Were you still? Yeah, yeah. It goes in the pile. And Morgan had some Peter Alexander slippers that she put into the pile. And Robin, Morgan's mum, took them. And she's so sweet, innocent.

And I was like, stuff I don't want to steal from her. I didn't want the slippers. This was before the mean text. Because I was the last one. I got the last one. Yeah. So I was like, I'm going to steal the slippers. Morgan's mum did not speak to me for 15 minutes.

You pinched your mother-in-law's Peter Alexander slippers. Hell yeah. And are now wondering why she's coming for your forehand. No, she sent me the... That was before. That was before. That was before. I think I can't remember.

No, the All Open would have been in January. She's just getting you back for your slipper stealing. I did do the Brisbane International as well. I can't remember which one was which now. But either way... What I'm hearing is, I'll find a way to get back at you, regardless, re-establish dominance. Yes. Wow. She wasn't joking either. What I'm hearing is, I'll find a way to get back at you regardless. Reestablish dominance.

Yes. Wow. She wasn't joking either. She was like, oh, four hand moves to work. Has she offered you lessons? You're saying she used to play tennis. She used to play. Next time we're together, I'll take you down to the local courts, stand behind you.

I'll go ham on her. I'll paint the town red. So what I do now is I take photos of the slippers that I stole from her. Oh, great. And I send them to her. You should give it to your dog to chew up and just really try it. We've been doing it all this week. And, hey, tomorrow's our last day.

Call of Fame of the day at Cofod. We are giving you a chance to win a very cool prize. It is a laptop a day from Harvey Norman, a HP laptop. You can pick up your $50 BYOD discount card from Harvey Norman now and save. But we want to make it very clear. laptop, you can pick up your $50 BYOD discount card from Harvey Norman now and save. But we want to make it very clear, whilst Harvey Norman are the BYOD specialists, your kid might be returning to school next week and they need a device. You can do with this laptop what you will. This could be for you.

Anything you want. You work hard and you're the one who contributed to the show. Yep. So by all means. We had some great contributions today. What are you putting in the freezer? Where'd you let one slip? What's your the freezer? Where'd you let one slip? What'd you boss ban?

Where'd you let it slip, rip, or rusher? Tip. Thank you. Jeez, I'm out of here. I'm out of here, guys. Have a good rest of your show. A lot of thoughts on fish. You can catch up on the podcast.

What'd you boss ban? Everything. It was a great show. The rice cookers cooked. Yeah. But in the depths of the morning, circling back to the freezer chat, Babs inadvertently brought us a story about her housemate freezing some weird stuff. To be fair, they are all foodstuffs, but we wouldn't traditionally keep them in the freezer.

Yeah. Coffee and oats. And cheese. Yeah. Which a lot of people on the text line are like, nah, man, that's a great hack for cheese. Yeah. You don't need to even defrost it. Just put it on the table.

It'll be ready to go. But it begs the question, what else are people freezing that maybe traditionally doesn't go in the freezer? Michelle called in and said. We have our pet rat, Lola, in the freezer at the moment. I'm presuming Lola's not alive. No. Lola unalive. She was three and a half years old, which is pretty old for a rat.

Yeah. So it was pretty emotional. And the girls, my daughters, weren't sure whether they wanted to cremate or bury. So I froze. So we went for the middle aisle and we just chucked her in the freezer. Be honest. Down the bottom in the bed you draw by herself. Wait a minute.

Is there any part of you that's like, I'll wait for them to defrost Walt Disney when the technology catches up and we can reanimate them. Maybe we can use the same tech to bring back Lola. Well, we actually just had a blackout for a couple of days. Oh, no, she didn't defrost. We're going to have to turn the generator on. Lola's going to defrost. Lola's going to thaw out and you're going to smell Lola.

Oh, Michelle, we're going to defrost. Lola's going to thaw out and you're going to smell Lola. Oh, Michelle. We're going to be thinking about that. You and Lola for a long time to come. So have a laptop on us, girlfriend. Michelle. Michelle. Thank you so much. You're very welcome.

You deserve it. Lola deserves it. Yes. We just actually yesterday, my girl was getting a new laptop, a new laptop for school, and she said school in two days. Oh, there you go. Oh, meant to be. I just have one more question about Lola, Michelle, in the freezer

because I noticed it back in that audio. You said she was in the vegetable section? Yeah, she's down the bottom in the veggie drawer. Okay. So where are your frozen peas? Yeah. Well, they're in the next drawer up. Oh, they moved everything up.

Luckily, we've got two vegetable drawers, so hopefully we don't have any more deaths in the family. Okay. Do you have other rats? Yeah. No, we don't. We have cats and dogs and birds now. Okay.

They must be looking at Lola in the fridge. The dog's going, I don't know if I can fit in there. You're going to have to get a chest freezer. Yeah, the border collie ain't going to fit in the freezer. Not that we don't laugh if I can fit in there. You're going to have to get a chest freezer for me. Yeah, the border collie ain't going to fit in the freezer. Not that we don't laugh about it. Anyway, hey, Lola, Michelle, well done. Thank you so much. Enjoy yourself.

Enjoy the laptop. Enjoy for your kids back to school. It's that easy to get involved. It's not hard to impress us. When you said, I've got another question, I thought you were going to ask about the rat being unalive. I'm like, don't.

We don't need Corson Ted. Oh, vegetable, yeah, go for it. Oh, vegetable, yeah. You thought I was going to ask how it died? Yeah. I think old age. I think it had a peaceful life.

He was three and a half years old. He was three and a half years old for a rat. Unalive just sounds like something sus. Yeah, unalive. Do you know what I mean? It's a weird wording.

That sounds like it happened to you. It sounds like the kid accidentally killed the rat. Oh, he's unalive now. Michelle's still there. Chucking in with the peas. Michelle's unhold. No, Michelle's talking to Babs. Yeah, sure, Babs.

She can't hear us now. Anyway, what a fun show. Grab it on the podcast. Listen or review your podcast. We do have extra content in there for you as well. Unless you're affiliated with Russia. Maybe don't. Yeah.

If you're an ally of Russia. Do we have any Russian listeners? I don't think so. I don't think they're allowed. Tell us about tomorrow's show. I don't think they're allowed at Jess and Ducko. Tomorrow's show, we've got Forgotten Friday Banger. Yep.

We're going to have that up on the Jess and Ducko story momentarily. You get to pick one of the songs we'll play tomorrow. We've got Shy Guy's Diary. Oh, it's been a hell of a week, even though it's been short. Yep. Oh, that diary's going to be jam-packed full of... It is going to be loaded. None in Russia.

Okay, good to know. We can go nuts. Closest is Sweden. Oh, a few Swedish listeners. There you go. I'd love to visit Sweden. They're all gorgeous over there. They are good looking.

Nordic. Anyway. Am I out of here? Where are you going? You are coming back as a fish. No, I hope not. All right. You guys have a good day.

Anything else you guys want to add? No, all good. All good. Bye. Bye. Bye. I've always said this, but to get reincarnated and come back a fish would be the worst thing.

Wear your hands. And we'll go to Mel on 131060. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply.