Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Mum, you got a note?

Episode Date: January 13, 2025

Rice Cookers we missed you! Ducko told us how someone at the Aus Open thought he was one of the players! We ask what went wrong on the holiday and Jess's husband cleaned the toilet with a leaf blower... which went well...Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply. Jess and Duggo. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hello everyone, welcome to the podcast. First podcast for 2025. Monumental moment.

It is monumental. Yeah, big show. It was a great show today, team. You know, sometimes Mondays, it can go either way. It can. If we've had too big of a weekend or too quiet of a weekend, Monday can be a challenge. We've had a month and a bit off.

Yeah. And I've got to say, I think we hit the ground running. We feel well rested. My God. Yeah. It was fun. We had a lot of laughs. We didn't hang out as much in the holidays as I thought we would.

You were so freaking busy. I was very busy, yeah. So busy. I was not around. I know, I know. But even like at the extent. Even my husband started saying like, we're at Ducko and Morgan up to. And I went, oh my God, ducko's on the TV.

He's here, he's here, he's hosting. And then we'd come home. So we'd go, I'd go away for three days, come home. We'd have family here for five. I'd go away for three days, come home, friends here for five. Then I'd go away for three days. Like it was just. I'm not going to impede on your Blake and Em time, am I?

Oh, I know. Hey, how was your Christmas Eve dinner? Was that nice? Yeah, it was really good. Yeah, nice. Yeah, great. We all got pretty loose. Love that.

Including Morgan's mum who doesn't drink that much. God, I think I say Morgan. I was like, she was really good. Yeah, nice. Yeah, great. We all got pretty loose. Love that. Including Morgan's mum who doesn't drink that much. I don't think I say Morgan. I was like, she's not allowed. Yeah, no. It's a new thing for babies. Get drunk while pregnant. I saw you having a great boogie with Morgan's mum. You know what got her?

Espresso martinis on Baileys. So instead of Kahlua? Yeah, you have Baileys. It is so delicious. I'm a huge fan of Baileys, but I feel like in that combination. It's great. Nice and smooth. Oh my God.

And we had, I reckon she had four. Shut up. As if you were making them or that's how they did it at the venue? No, we had the venue. Yeah, yeah. Have you guys ever had that? They're so good. No.

You will not look back. The only time I've had something slightly different with a espresso martini, I think it was tequila instead of vodka. Oh, okay. Is vodka usually in the espresso? I think it's vodka, yeah. That was nice. Yeah. A little different, but I just love a classic so much. Go, okay. Is vodka usually in the espresso? I think it's vodka, yeah. That was nice. Yeah.

A little different, but I just love a classic so much. Go try it. Maybe we'll try it. Particularly after a long lunch or something. It tastes like a choccy milk. I've been to, see, I'm not a huge fan of choccy milk. It's good though. No, we'll give it a go.

Give it a go. Bad to see, bad to see. She was like. But she loves a dare ice coffee fix. We'll fix you. Oh, guts don't. How are your guts going for this year? Yeah.

You said you're not going to have Guzman for 75 days. Yeah. Yeah, can we talk about, so that's a New Year's resolution. Love ya. Is there, what was the motivation? Well. Did you look at your bank account and it saw all the charges to Guzman and Gomez over 2024?

I just want to be like healthy. I feel like I eat so much shit. Yeah, okay. This is such a, maybe a novice, because I don't understand nutrition. Is it that bad for you? It's rice and beans and meat. And I have chips with it every time. Oh, the chips.

It's high sodium, high salt in the bowls and stuff. Oh, okay. I don't understand. And the sauces and whatnot. But I agree. I personally think out of all the junk foods, Guzman is- Like a burrito. Is on the better side.

Yeah. You're not having fried chicken. No. Yeah. Or Maccas. But I mean, I am eating it like once a week, which it's like 20 bucks. So it's- Yeah.

Okay. But the financial- Are you a bowl or a burrito girl? It changes all the time. I'm on the bowl grind at the moment. I'm on the bowl grind. I'm on that bowl grind, baby. You know how it is.

I'm on that BG. Did you say BG grind, baby. You know how it is. I'm on that BG. Do you say BG? I love bowls. Oh, my God. Speaking of. Good chat. Oh, come in. I've learned a lot about you today.

Peaking duck. You'll hear it in the show. And bowls. I messaged you guys during the break when I had, was it Zambreros that I had? Bro. I had the bowl. It actually wasn't that fucking bad. Dang.

It wasn't that bad. So you said the town you were in only had a Zambrero. I was in Bro! I had the bowl. It actually wasn't that fucking bad. It wasn't that bad. So you said the town you were in only had a Zambrero? I was in Copse. I was in Copse. Okay, the area you were in, you could only find a Zambrero. We were driving through, driving through. And you are now on the Zambrero train. I mean, it's still better than Mad Max.

The bowl was massive. It was huge. Now, you're not as passionate about sauce quantity as I am. My biggest issue with GYG, stingy AF with sauce. Zambrero, very just resplendent. You can add the sauce when you're dining at GYG. I'm not doing it myself. What am I paying you to do?

Put the sauce on it for me. I'd pump the hot sauce on there. Zambrero, saucy. Did you find that? I did. It was a lot. And then I had to drive like four hours. I was like, I'm going to shit myself.

The sauce is coming out the other end. Oh, goodness me. I had a similar experience the other day too. What, shitting yourself? Yeah. Your sphincter not tight anymore? No, because I went to the clog barn in Popsarva. That just sounds bad, doesn't it?

The clog barn? It clogs you up. No, like they make Dutch pancakes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, right. It was so yummy. Are they poppages? Yeah, and't it? The clog. It clogs you up. No, like they make Dutch pancakes. Yes. Yeah, yeah, right. It was so yummy. Are they poffages? Yeah, and then we were driving home.

The tiny ones. I was so sick. Yeah, how many did you have? Because you think they're little. It was just like a really big one. Oh. With like maple syrup and ice cream. One big one.

Yeah. Poffages are good. They are very good. I thought you got those at like markets with a toothpick. Your toothpick and they have the icing sugar on them. You're beautiful. A bit of honey or whatever you put on a maple syrup. Pancake parlour used to be a real hot date spot when I was growing up in high school.

And it was 24 hours and you'd always go there at 2am. 24 hours, yes. Is it still alive, pancake parlour? There was one in Sydney. Geez, I couldn't tell you. I don't know. Did it go the same way as Pizza Hut? Isn't there one in Port Macquarie too?

Ooh. Where are the remaining pancake parlours? We've been looking for something to take us out and about, Ducco. No pancakes on the rocks. No, not pancakes on the rocks. Before you pop out a kid, and when I say you, obviously your wife. Oh, thank you though. I think we need to do a tour.

And maybe it isn't to find the last remaining pancake parlour. That could be fun. That could be fun. They're still around. Because there's no, or even a, or you can eat Pizza Hut. Yep. They're great. I think they're in some of the towns.

Did you have Faster Pasta Around where you grew up I did I freaking loved Faster Pasta It was so trashy though Oh Faster Pasta And all the commercials on TV

And La Porchetta Was that a thing where you grew up I don't think so That might have just been around my area Great jingle Still remember it Would you like to hear it Yeah go

La Porchetta La Porchetta We put the R In the pasta La Porchetta. We put the R in the pasta. La porchetta, la porchetta. We put the R in the pizza. Great jingle. Great jingle.

It's why it stood out to me all these years. Oh, let's see. Anyway, any pancake parlours? It's not looking good. Oh. That's sad. That's sad. There's one in Victoria.

Yeah. They're all in Victoria. I don't worry. Yeah. They're all in Victoria. I don't worry about it. They're all in Victoria. Victoria still likes their pancakes. Yeah, okay. They're keeping the pancake parlor alive. Yeah.

I like the word parlor. Yeah. There's a couple of knockoffs, like at the Pancake Palace. Oh, the Pancake Palace. Not as good, though. Yeah. So they tried to bougie it up with palace, but no, parlor is the NG. Yeah, parlor.

Yeah, Victoria. Yeah, it's the dodgy version. Hey, I'm so glad you got onto the Zambrero train. I used Timu for the first time, speaking of dodgier things. How was that? Did you spin the wheel? I did spin the wheel. I got 100% off everything, but I had to make the app and log in.

I was like, I'm not fucking doing that. Yeah, why? So, okay, would you actually have gotten it for free, though? I doubt it. Apparently, if you get the app, it's really buggy, too, and it's not great. I had to buy my mate a gimp suit because he's going to be the buck. Don't you have it still from your bucks? I thought it was at Babs' house.

Oh, yeah, you've still got mine. You never give that back, have you? She's not giving that ball back. Yeah, and the whips and the chain. The teeth marks are now, they're just hers. Yeah, she's already bitten through it. If Babs ever goes missing and then we find a body in the bush, this is grim.

But you know what? Because she hates the dentist, they might not have dental records. We'll just get the gimp ball and match the dental record. But everyone's going to be like, what's Ducker got to do with this? You know? My DNA will be there too. Because your indents will be on the ball too. This sounds really gross.

Anyway, I'm getting him. No, we're just trying to identify your body. Yeah, yeah. We're helping you out. I'm getting him a gimp suit because he's the buck. And he put me in one. Oh, this is nice. I would have won on team.

Who's this? Blake. Blake. I'll show you guys a photo. He wouldn't fit your gimsuit. No, God no. But I'm a bit worried that my gimsuit's not going to arrive because it's Teemu. How long do things normally take on Teemu?

Usually longer. Oh, that looks like a superhero. Do you know what that looks like? That looks like what Katy Perry wore when she did the AFL Grand Final. Yes. It's just missing the wing. It looks like? That looks like what Katy Perry wore when she did the AFL Grand Final. Yes. It's just missing the wing. It looks like a superhero, but it's like. Is it like a plate?

Like a breastplate? I don't know. Or is it just latex? I'd imagine it's not going to look as good as it does on this model. No. But Blake doesn't look like that model. No, he does not. I got him an extra large.

So we'll see how that. It's meant to come right like the day before. You could always go to our maids at Minx. Yeah, I could. Not as cheap. You could. Blake's Bucks sponsored by Minx Erotic Boutique. Yeah.

And then you've got to fly with the toys and stuff. Oh, yep. Speaking of toys, I used the ring you got me as a holiday, Shaga. I'm so glad. Did you think about Shaga? I actually did not think about him at all when I used it. Well, you rolled it on. You didn't think of him?

Not one bit. They're quite difficult to get on initially. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they, like, stretchy? Yeah, you stretch it. You pull it out.

Yeah, and then you put it on. And is it battery powered? Yeah. Is there a little button? It has a charger. Yeah, yeah. It has a charger. Yeah, yeah, battery.

That's safe. And did you make sure it was charged before you started? You'd hate that thing to die halfway through. That would really kill the mood. It was good. It did die halfway through one time. I used it another time. Don't act like you last that long.

You show off. No, it's the second or third time I used it another time. Don't act like you last that long. You show off. No, it's the second or third time I used it, you know? Oh, I thought you meant like in a row. But anyway, it was probably my most used present I got over the break. So thanks, Charlotte. I love to hear that. You're welcome. I used the bag.

You got me a lot, Babs. Didn't give you as much pleasure as I think the cock ring gave. Well, that's good. How uncomfortable does she feel? Hey, I'm just letting a mate know that the present you got me is great. Would you recommend it? It's a different experience. Is it?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Okay. I think it's probably more good for the female. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well, how about you focus on the female once in a while in the sack? So thank you.

That's what that invention is for. I had it ran the wrong way initially. So I was like. What do you mean? Isn't it? So the vibrating part. The vibrating part. Yeah, seriously had it ran the wrong way initially. So I was like, what do you mean, isn't it? So the vibratey part. The vibratey thing. The vibratey part.

Yeah, seriously. Okay, so it goes on the top of shaft, not where the boys are. I'm literally picturing a ring. Yep. Okay, a ring. And let's say the top part, which is the vibratey part. Yes. It has like a square part.

That is meant to rub on the girl and stimulate her. Oh, so you're telling me not like just a circular ring, almost like an engagement ring where it has the stones at the top. That is what actually operates. Yes. So when you say you had it wrong way, it was doing more for you. It was like rubbing against the, and then Morgan's like, I think it's meant to go the other way.

Were your balls like clopping together? Is it? Is it? It was trial and error. Did she like it? Yeah, yeah. It worked out well, you know. Add it to the treasure chest.

There you go. Good present, shy guy. I'm actually ecstatic to hear that. How's the lava lamp going that I got you? It's good. I had to unplug it because I had to. Oh, come on, mate. One of the great quotes.

What was the quote? Off air unfortunately. Obviously the mics weren't on. I said, I don't know whether to charge my laptop and do work or have my lava lamp like that. Lava lamp always! And then I asked Babs for a double adapter. We've only got one socket for him to work from. I know.

And now the lava lamp is caught in this weird limbo stage. It does look really weird. What's going on here? It looks like spoof. Anyway, we're back, as you can tell. Happy New Year! Enjoy the show! Jess and Taco in the morning.

There was a burn around the thing-a-thing. Honey, he's rich. There's only one show to wake up with. Jess and Darko. Broadcasting live. Coming in, tuning out. All I want is noise. Turn it up, turn it up.

It's about to go off. From the queen of pasta. You ever seen a pelican swallow a fish hole? I have. It's like watching you eat dinner. This is the king of casual chaos. I felt things, Jess. Dripping on my quad that I shouldn't feel.

The shy guy. Well, prepare your whistles to be wet. Gen Z are babs. I was just trying to pull my pants down. Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Darko. Lights, camera, action, that's it. Oh, baby.

We're back, baby. We are back. Welcome to another year, team. We are back. Welcome to another year, team. We are live for 2025. Good morning to you, Ducco. How are we? Oh, I am feeling so good. You feeling good?

Good to be here? I'm so happy to be here. The alarm went off this morning, and I tell you, sir, I sprung out of bed. Just sprung out of bed. I sprung out of bed. You did ask me when we were in the lifts. How's your alarm this morning? Yes, yeah. And sprung out of bed. I sprung out of bed. You did ask me when we were in the lifts. How's your alarm this morning? Yes, yeah.

And how serendipitous. We timed our run this morning. Yes. Inadvertently arriving at the same time. We did get in at the same time. That felt like a good omen. And I saw Babs and Shy Guy were in nice and early. Nice and early.

We got in at the same time too. Oh, the team is on fire. I should say yes. Good morning to you, Shy Guy. Morning. Hi, Shy Guy. Now, I want to clarify. We've been calling him Shy Guy.

Yes. But in that opener, which is, I want to clarify. We've been calling him Shy Guy. Yes. But in that opener, which is, I love it for the new year, our new little intro, it said, The Shy Guy. The Shy Guy. Pardon me. I'm adding a V to your name. I've never been one for a The in front of a V. It's giving the Facebook.

And we were told by Justin Timberlake to remove it. You're just Shy Guy or Shy Man. It felt very formal. The Shy Guy. Gens that are Babs. Yeah, Babsy. Good morning to you. Good morning.

Oh, Babs is back. Now, we had a mandatory show meeting the other day and Babs wasn't there. Yeah, Babs decided that she was still on holidays. Even last night when we were sending around our, you know, our content ideas, brainstorming. I got the out of office still from Babs' email. You had that thing on till the last minute, Babs. I am on holidays till Monday. Do not be trying to contact me.

True. Okay, short and sharp. Even though it's been a month, nothing has changed. Love you. Yes, it has. Hey, how are you going, though? Oh, I'm feeling so good. It's like we haven't seen each other in a while.

Truly. You have been busy, sir. I've had a busy day. You have been busy. Fingers in a few pies. I, too, have been busy, but not travelling or doing too much. Just mothering. Just with a one-year-old.

Yes. My husband yesterday went for a walk with the dog in the afternoon. The kid was there, too. And he said, you know, are you excited? Yeah, old love was there as well. We're not leaving her at home just yet on her own. With a bottle of water? With a bottle of water.

And the cameras were on. It's fine. But Angus said, he's like, are you excited to go back? And I said, yes, I'm just so pumped. I've got so many stories I want to share and so many laughs to have with the Rice Cookers. Things I need to discuss with the team. But he said, do you feel like you've had a break? I went, not really.

No, because it's just been busy. It's been chaos at the tip. It's just been busy. But you, you've been around the country. Well, yes, I was doing the Weather for Today show, as I tend to do on the holidays. Up until yesterday. I was at the Oz Open yesterday doing it. Yes, how exciting. Did you catch up with Novak? Didn't get

to see Novak there, unfortunately. I saw some of the junior players that are seated like 100th in the world who are playing on the outside court. You know, dreams and hopes ahead of them. But it was fun. It was good to go to Melbourne. I've never been to the Oz Open. There you go. It was cool. Vibes were high. But then it's the classic thing, the gates open, then I left.

I'm here for the morning broadcast. I'm going to get back to my radio show. I've got to have some rest before I head into Hit HQ. Hit HQ. Well, no, it's so nice to be here. It's good to be back. Christmas feels like a distant memory. Doesn't it just?

I know. And I've got to update you. I will do it just briefly on the show about, because we had our family Christmas for the first time. Yeah, you hosted this year. Something went wrong with Morgan, my pregnant wife. Of course. She got injured really bad. Oh, my God.

Sorry. Can we have a second? Yeah. You're having a baby this year. I know. I keep forgetting about that. In literally months. I know.

Three months. How do you feel? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Like, I know you hosted Christmas. That's a big deal. But that's like your last Christmas, your last New Year's. And I know you had a big New Year's.

I've been getting things out of my system. I'm excited. No, we are excited. Morgan's getting bigger too. I call her Miggaloo. Do you know what's funny? As much as I felt bad that we didn't have a chance to catch up because you were jet-setting around,

I more felt bad I haven't seen Morgan. Yes. And seeing her on your social media, the bump is bumping. She's bumping. She looks incredible. Yeah, it's big. Oh, my God. We were poking it last night because she's like,

it's weird because my stomach's big, but it's so hard. Don't poke. It's so hard, though. It's not soft like fat. Okay. It's really hard. It's dense. It's dense.'s not soft like fat. It's like, it's really hard. It's dense. It's dense.

It's her placenta at the front. I don't know. My sister asked me that question, too. I think it might be, I don't know where it is. Yeah, because you know what? Someone asked me the number of questions I've had about you. No, they didn't ask you where my wife's placenta was. No, someone asked me, has Ducko felt the baby kicking? Oh, yeah, plenty of times.

And I said, I'm, I'm, I think we have. Remember I came on air and I said I felt it. Yeah, yeah. And I said, I'm, I'm, I think we have. Yeah, yeah. And I said, yeah, I think so, but we haven't caught up, so I'm not sure if it's getting more intense or not. And someone said, it depends where Morgan's placenta is. I'm going to find that out today. Morgan's placenta is top of mind for the rice cooker.

Everyone wants to know where it is. Don't say good morning. Just say, hey, confirming where the placenta is located. Hey, Miggly, where's your placenta? I don't know about calling her Miggly. It's Wales, so she's getting a little bit like a whale. Yeah, I just don't know if that's wise. She loves it.

We make whale sounds together. Okay, you and Morgan have a special relationship, but I fear for anyone else listening. Yeah, don't do it. I don't know if you should. Hey, it's going to be a big show, though, because with us comes 10K Alpha Bucks. It's back. Hey, man, it's back at 6.30 and 8 o'clock.

Yep, two for one. We're not playing Alpha Bucks Choice yet. Yeah, if you might remember last year, we gave you the choice to play the kids' questions. Our boss went, no more. Yeah, no more. The people suck too much. Let's put our big boy pants on. And we have a call of fame.

This is fantastic. Out the gates. Out the face. The call of fame is fantastic this week. You could get the Crowne Plaza, Sydney Darling Harbour, plus tickets to Sea Life Aquarium and the Wildlife Zoo. All I think about is parents who are dealing with their children on school holidays. That would feel like an eternity.

Well, they've got another month pretty much. And I'm pretty sure, yeah, they go back in Feb. So how about we give you something to occupy the whole family? You've got to get involved. Get out of there. You've got to get involved. You've got to get involved. And that could be on the phones, 131060,

which is the way you're going to win the call of fame. Yes. But if, hey, you still need to, you know, wake up a little bit, ease into the year, we've got the text line. 048881069. Text any time. Ducko's already giggling at a text. Someone's texted in.

This is from Friday last week. Good afternoon. I was just listening to the radio where I saw the Black Thunder van. Do we still call them that? I don't know what they call it. It depends where you are. And I heard it was a big duck. All I heard was big duck.

You? We're back, baby. Were you on the edge? Text the text line 048881069. Get involved. 131060. You're a little duck. You're a big duck.

I'm a tiny duck. But hey, up next, kicking off the show, Shy Guy's put himself in. He's got his own segment. Shy Guy has worked overtime over the holidays, and he's like, you know what? I'm starting with a new one. I'm starting with a new segment. Shy Guy's dregs. The dregs.

The dregs. 2025, we're here. We're done it. We're in the chair. We're here. We both woke up to our alarms. We're almost impressively shy, guys. Yeah.

I was worried he wouldn't. As would I, because mainly he said, I've been waking up at 10 a.m. every day on the holidays. I'm not waking up before 10 on the holiday. No, that's fair, but that's a jarring alarm to set for a Monday. I messaged him the other day about something at midday, and he replied to me at 5 p.m. and said, sorry, I just had a nap.

I was like, that's not a nap. After already having like 14 hours of sleep. Isn't it so funny? Because that used to be me. Remember, I would come home from the show. It was before we had a dog, certainly before we had the child. Angus was at work. I went, what else am I doing?

But now that feels ridiculous to me. Yeah, crazy. It's like a luxury to me. Absolutely. Hey, as we said, 131060, anytime you wish, 0488881069. We've already had a question on the text line, Ducko. What the hell are Rosé and Bruno Mars talking about? Apatay.

It's a Korean drinking game. We thought it was Japanese, but it's Korean. It's Korean. But right now, let's rip in with some new stuff for 2025. Shago brought us this. We had a little meeting the other day. He said, I've got this new thing. Because we do so much content on this show and so much of it falls to the dregs,

falls to the wayside that we don't do. And I wonder if anyone has ever thought about that. Like, geez, these guys talk a lot on the program. How much isn't making it to the whiteboard, though? You would be gobsmacked. People are worried about what's not making it to the whiteboard. I think people are worried about it.acked. People are worried about Watt's not making it to the whiteboard. I think people are worried about it. Jeez, what's on Jess and Dario's whiteboard today?

You know what more I think of when it comes up, when we do something really crap and they go, that made it on the board? Watt did it. If that made it. Sometimes we think things will be good and they're not, and vice versa. Hey, and you know what?

We're just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. It's all we can do. It's all we can do. But Shy Guy, he's empathetic heart. He's worried about all those stories that fall to the wayside. He is. And he thinks they deserve a glimmer, a moment. It's because, you know what this really is?

It's because he's done work and we haven't accepted that work that he's done. It's been a year of me doing extra work that doesn't get any attention. That's exactly what this is. Oh, that's a great point. How about you lift and give us better stuff to pick from. Hey. So it's called Shy Guys Drake. So he sends us a bunch of stories of an evening and then we've got to decide what we like

and what we don't like. A lot of them don't matter. I reckon he sends 10 and maybe we pick one or two. Absolutely. Because you know what? Pardon us for having high standards. No, but that's also fine. Pardon us.

They're thought starters. Thought starters. So what you're going to do is offer some of your favourites that maybe you thought, oh, it deserves a moment in the sun, and we'll shoot it down to your face. Correct. Like what was in the Golden Globes gift bag. Yes. I don't care.

I just don't care about that. It was worth a million dollars. Everyone that won a Golden Globe award got one of these gift bags. That's why they're rich, right? Yeah. What was in them? All right. A bottle of vodka worth three grand.

A trip to the Maldives, $33,000 that's worth. They can afford this. Like, Nicole Kidman can afford a trip to the Maldives. They don't need it. They don't need it. They don't need it in a goodie bag. I suppose for the Golden Globes, they do TV stuff as well. So there's the people who are, like, nominated for a TV

that don't earn as much who are like, oh, my goodness. Like Eugene Levy from Schitt's Creek. There you go. My movie money ran out in the 90s. He doesn't need the top three most expensive wines in the world. They were in there too? Yeah. Totalling $54,000.

Three bottles. This is the Golden Globes. I know they always say this about the Oscars goodie bags. What the hell's in the Oscars ones if this is just in the Golden Globes? They're crazy too. They're crazy. Now, because this is a new segment, we don't know if we're going to keep it. I don't have any sound effects to move like, move you on to the next story.

Okay, we'll move on to the next one. So I think I'll go... Okay. That's a train, too. You know what that is? It's the train leaving the station. We don't like Golden Globes station. Next.

Next. This isn't the last thing I have. I'm not going to list through everything, just my picks. Okay. So this is the last thing I have. An Uber driver's rules he had on the back seat of the passenger's side. So some of these rules are pretty fair, like don't smoke, all that stuff. But there's some weird rules in there.

Like if at any time you're not enjoying the ride, refuse to respect my rules or feel uncomfortable. It's like he's reading it for the first time. He will pull over. Yeah, because I'm on Daily Mail and it's full of ads and a Stan ad popped up again. It threw me off. I thought you had this coming or anything.

I mean, nothing has changed. Nothing has changed. This is why we didn't pick it. Why am I mad about that? So what were some of the... All right, here's the rule. Here's the rule. Okay, here we go.

It better be good, though. Yeah, because we made fun of Babs a lot last year for trying to come on the air and tell us stories, but you should be better. Put your earbuds in because I don't want to hear the speakerphone conversation. Is this you talking or is this the Uber driver? That's the Uber driver. That's interesting. They put earpods in or put it up to ear so you don't have it on loudspeaker.

He also says it also goes for scrolling on TikTok and stuff. He doesn't want to hear it. The driver doesn't want to hear your, you know. Any phone stuff. Arpate dancers. So, you know, when they talk in radio, like when I was learning radio, they were like, don't just read the article. You've got to give it something because anyone could just read the article.

What are you bringing to this show, I guy? That's more than just you having read the Daily Mail. I agree with the Uber driver. I might get a reprint for my own car. Yeah, you might get a reprint so you can read it properly yourself. That would be a great idea, Taka. Jess and Taka. Welcome to 2025.

For those who've already really embraced this work year, we're back. How, just really quick sidebar. Yeah. How deep into the year are we still saying Happy New Year? Oh, I think we're done with that. Oh, really? Like, I'm bumping into people at the shops and I'm still we still saying Happy New Year? Oh, I think we're done with that. Oh, really? Like, I'm bumping into people at the shops and I'm still giving them a Happy New Year. If you haven't seen them yet, I guess you can.

I swear I'll give a Happy New Year in March if I haven't seen you. Shy Guy was still popping out Merry Christmases last week. He's just going for everything. He's a festive boy, though. He is. You can't take the elf out of Shy Guy. You know, he's always jolly. He would make such a tall elf.

Just like complete opposite to the... No, it doesn't work. No. Would that make me head elf? I could see you being like the head elf who like instructs all the elves on how to make the toys. Oh, okay. Yeah, but he's just so cheerful, isn't he? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's why he's the head elf. He's like, we're on a time schedule, people. Oh, he's seen too much. And you had a bunch of little me's running around like, eee. With the curly shoes and the bells. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just so jolly. Just so jolly, yeah.

Shy Guy's been weathered and beaten down by the world. He has. Thanks. It's good to have you back, mate. It's good to be back. Hey, Alphabucks is next, too. $10,000. Yeah, thank you.

Right now, though, that wouldn't be Jess and Duck if we didn't start the show, you know, a little bit sexy. Is it a sexy start to the show, Ducko? Bit of a sexy start. There's been a study done actually. Happy New Year. You still say it. There's been a study done actually from my good friend scientists in China,

which I find quite interesting. Yes. The sexy study in China. I don't often think of the Chinese as a sexually active country. I don't know why. That's the silliest thing you've ever said. Ducko, they've got, like, the most populous nation. Clearly they're doing it so much. They put a cap on the kids they could have.

I guess I just... I think they relinquished the cap now. I've got to get up with my China facts. I apologise to our Chinese audience. I love a Peking duck, though. In the pancake? Unbelievable. What is hoisin? I don't know, but dip me in hoisin and I'll be a happy lady.

See, maybe that's what they're doing. Maybe that's why they're having such big baby boobs. Anyway, where was I? Study in China. Yes. They basically come out and said that there is a sweet spot to the amount of sex that you should be having as a bloke. Because if you have too much, it's detrimental to your health. Too much is detrimental?

Yes, and too little is detrimental to your health. Of course, of course. So basically saying that obviously it gets the blood pumping, it gets the heart flowing, it's good exercise. Sure. Let alone the emotional connection, because obviously we're only doing it with the heart flowing, it's good exercise. Sure. Let alone the emotional connection, because obviously we're only doing it with those we love. That's so true. Unless you're a shy guy and you're finding anyone.

And possibly bend you over. You want to come back to my place for a Peking duck pancake? You know what's good? The shallot pancake. You want to come back to mind for some Nazi goring? We're not China now. I think that's Malaysia. Yeah.

We nailed it with the pigging duck because I Googled it just to make sure we were legit. But we've just gone off track then. You can't be here. You can get it in China. Nazi goring might be in Indonesia. Quick, where's Nazi goring? Quick, while you're at it. I'm emailing.

Can you do that one? A few complaints. That's 625. Anyway, what they're saying is those who have a very, very high sex drive, so dudes who are wanting to do it more than once a day, God forbid, could you imagine that? That's the start of a relationship silliness. That is.

That's not long term. That's your like. Indonesian Nazi goring. Thank you, Babs. Obviously, we knew that. Obviously. We were testing you to see if you were listening. That two times a day is Babs' age's territory.

Absolutely. You know what I mean? That's a couple of young rabbits getting around, having a good time. 100%. But they're saying you're at a risk there of overworking it and too much sexual activity can be bad for you. Chafe. Oh, the chafe would be horrific.

You're going to start a fire. Even then, just red. Just raw. But they said that. They did it. You know, like when people get lost in the wilderness and they have to start a fire. Even then, just red, just raw. But they said that they did this. You know, like when people get lost in the wilderness and they have to start a fire by rubbing sticks? Oh, yeah, totally.

That's what it reminds me of. That's too much sex. Why is it smoking? What are we doing? Shy Guy, why is it smoking? Sorry, Shy Guy's got that J flag again. Hey, they did a study, though, which conducted of 17,000 adults to see how sex affects the longevity.

After nine years, this is a nine-year study. That's a decent study. They found that men who had sex less than 12 times a year had a higher risk of heart disease and early death. So we've got to be doing it more than once a month. Yes. Sure. Men who have sex about 103 times a year had a lower risk. This works out to be roughly twice a week.

Okay. So the magic number to do it to be healthy is twice a week. I love that. Go home to your partner tonight and go, I've got to do it for my heart. It's for science. For my heart health. Jess and Ducko told me that. The sexy Chinese scientists have determined twice a week.

Did you know Nars is going? Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. Yes, indeed. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. You don't have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We come back, of course, if there is time. We are playing for $10,000. And our first contestant for 2025 is the one and only. It's Kev. Hello, Kev. Jess and Ducco, how are you guys? Kev, we are top of the world, and now it's just made all the better because you're the first voice that we're having on the air for 2025.

I mean, not to make ourselves feel, you know, any better than we already do, but did you miss us? Oh, absolutely, yeah, yeah. It's been pretty hell without you guys on the radio, so, you know. Tough run. Give this man $10,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He knows how to sweeten us up.

He does, he does. What do you want to spend the cash on, brother? Oh, I'm getting married in March, so, you know, a bit of money towards that and, you know, a bit extra towards the honeymoon would be good, I reckon. I love that. Have you broken the bank already on the wedding? They're so expensive. A hundred bloody opiates.

It's ridiculous. Let's get Kev ten grand to supercharge the cake or flowers or whatever. Get you off to the Maldives like the Golden Globes people got in their goodie bag. The lady you're going to work with today, Kev, it's L. L for love.

Oh, there we go. Look at that. That's a nice omen. Synergy. Synergy. You feeling good? Perfect. Yeah, let's give it a crack, eh?

Let's do it. It's all we can ask of you. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter L. We need you to name something you study. Love? A kitchen utensil. God.

Pass. A fabric. Linen. A technology brand. LG. A fruit. Lemon. A technology brand. LG. A fruit. Lemon. A TV show.

Love Actually. A space term. Out of time. Out of time. But hey, you study love. You study love. You study love. I'm going to give that to Kev.

Do you know what? To be fair. You gave us the You study love. I'm going to give that to Kev. Do you know what? To be fair. 100%. You gave us the Chinese scientist who studied sex. Yeah. There might be Chinese scientists who studied love. Absolutely. There's love experts.

There's love experts. It doesn't really matter. Hey, man, we've had Dr. Love on the show. We've had Dr. Love on the show. Look, you did get yourself four, Kev. Kitchen utensil could have been ladle, a lemon squeezer. I mean, that's a tough get. That's a tough carry.

I would have given him extra of the loaf pan. Potion utensil could have been ladle, a lemon squeezer. I mean, that's a tough get. That's a tough carry. I would have given him extra of the loaf pan. A TV show could have been Lost, Law and Order, Looney Tunes. Could have been Love Island. Love Island. But Love Actually is a movie. You don't go empty-handed, though, Kev. This is fantastic. $100 to spend at Minx Erotic Boutique, minx.com.au.

That just tied in. Good friend of the show. And don't worry about going somewhere, you know, far away for your honeymoon. You can have a honeymoon right in your bedroom. There you go, Kev. Love it, guys. Perfect.

Thank you. Thanks, mate. Thanks for coming on. It was good to chat. Good on you. Thank you. Thanks, Kev. Happy New Year.

The good news is we play again at 8am this morning. As we do every day, 6.30 and 8. We're doing the double, 6.30 and 8. We're doing the double, 6.30 and 8. Two cracks at $10,000. Firstly, take us to Germany, please. Because controversy has reigned out of

Birkenstock HQ. Now I know you're a relatively new devotee to Birkenstocks, but once you jumped on that ship, you proudly get the dogs out. They're so comfortable. They are. And they're so good. You get the plastic ones as well if you want to go to the beach or you can get the normal ones. I was about to say

the plastic ones don't give you those disgusting toe indents, do they? No, they don't really. Like the OG. Yeah, yeah. But the OGs are great. I mean, they're great for your foot. Podiatrists have come out everywhere and said that. They are so ugly and I was about to say they are the ugliest. They're not.

The croc is the ugliest of all the shoes. Or the Jesus sandals. Hey, man. The ones that fully strap up. Oh, they're not great either. You're this close to wearing crocs. I can see that in your... No, Morgan wore crocs all summer.

Yes. I just don't like how they look. They were comfy. I put it on. I was like, God, that's comfy. Oh, no, I knew it was a slippery slope. But no, no, no. I just don't like how...

Were you first to Birkenstocks in your family? She was. Or was Morgan the first? Her family was, and I jumped on. You tried. She's not pushing the croc agenda on me, but Birkenstocks. You know why? Because she knows.

He'll need to run out in the garden to, I don't know, get the mail. He'll slip my crocs on, and he'll be a convert. I wore Birks on TV, on the Today Show on the weekend, just gone, because I was at the beach. Didn't your mum yell at you for that last time you did that? Yeah, yeah. They also made a comment on there, like, you're wearing Birkenstocks. I was like, hell yeah, the the Today Show, on the weekend, just gone. Didn't your mum yell at you for that last time you did that? Yeah, yeah. They also made a comment on there, like, you're wearing Birkin socks. I was like, hell yeah, the dogs are out, baby. These things are expensive.

It's like when they pan down to, like, yeah, the weather presenters or even the people on the desk, and they're just wearing sneakers. You go, I guess your feet aren't really seen, but your whole body is often on display. I was at the beach, though. They're so comfortable. I just, I think they're so ugly, and how gross they get after a year or so where the toe indents. That's why no one will steal your Birks. You can leave them at the beach and no one's going to take them.

It's like a fingerprint ID. They are really moulded to their owner. Well, anyway, as I said, there's drama at Birkenstock HQ over in Germany. They're taking this to court, all right? The German shoemakers have filed three lawsuits alleging copyright infringement. They are noticing too many cheaper organisations selling knock-off Birkenstocks. And they're like, how can we protect ourselves?

We're taking this to court. There is a fair few now. You can get them at most, like even Cotton On, I think, does a knock-off Birkenstock. Yes, I mean, I'm pretty sure your Big W's, your Kmart's very, because at Birkenstock, they're expensive. They are. I actually don't remember how much they are.

Yeah, you've had them for a long time. Babs, can we check how much a regular Birkenstock is? I can't remember. Because anything at Kmart, you're looking at what? I was going to look. A quarter of the price. Yeah, they're like 20 or 30 bucks from Kmart. Yeah.

Yeah. Birkenstock have filed a lawsuit saying that their shoes are works of art. They are. And thus should have a special copyright on them, disallowing anyone else to copy the design. I like this from them, though, because there are so many copycats out there. Approximately $139 for those disgusting toe indents. Worth it.

Wow. Yeah. So they are trying to say we are works of applied art. Yeah. So I've just looked up what the hell that Wow. Yeah. So they are trying to say we are works of applied art. Yeah. So I've just looked up what the hell that means. Yeah. That encompasses all original pictures, graphics or sculptural works. I'm guessing they've gone for the sculptural work element.

Yeah, possibly. K-notes are $10. But see, they're not as good for your feet. The podiatrists won't like them as much. They don't have the proper sponge. No. But I like this from the lower court in Germany, they've rejected it. Even the German court said, not a work of art.

Birkenstock aren't taking it lying down. They're taking it to Germany's highest court. I guess the Supreme Court of Germany. Yeah. To fight this, saying we are a work of art, and thus we should have copyright on our product. This was created in some German man's house years and years ago. Mr. Birkenstock. Mr. Birk.

Erz Birkenstock. Erz Birkenstock. And his family's not taking it lying down. Good, I'm glad. The Mona Lisa, the Van Gogh sunflowers and Birkenstock. And Birks. We're going to see them in the loo next. This obviously screams that they're losing money on all these knockoffs.

It must be. Like, they must be struggling. Because $140 for sandals. Are you joking? And now that Crocs are coming in, and Crocs are so fashionable, and they're... Yes. How much are Crocs, Babs? Sure, you wear Crocs.

They're not $140. She's rolling her eyes at me. Do you know when I went to the farmer's market yesterday? Yeah. There was a whole dedicated stall in amongst my zucchini and my flower man and my garlic guy. And your bejeans? Jizz bits. Literal, literal, whole marquee.

I forgot we called them jizz bits. Whole marquee. 50 bucks for Crocs, by the way. Like, that's all right. You know I got, we love Maple West Kebabs and charcoal chicken. We do, we do. I got Morgan their jizz bits. I went to them the other day and they gave me 15 of their jizz bits

and I went, guys, like they're our best friends, but I went, I don't know what to do with this. Morgan has one on each burk. One on each? What's their actual name? I actually don't even know. Giblets? Yeah, giblets.

Giblets. I can't remember the sign. Not one of our producers are being vocal in this chat. They're just nodding outside. It's the giblets, the jizz bits. Oh, jibbits. Jibbits. Jibbits.

But with a Z, it's jibbits. Jizz bits is funnier. Anyway, jizz bits is better. So there was a whole thing dedicated to those. A whole marquee, Ducker. A whole marquee. Gozlemi, zucchini, aubergine, flour, jizz bits. Jizz bits.

Are you joking? They're trendy, man. And there was a queue. See, Berks need to get jizz bits. Where are you going to punch them through, though? Yeah. You're going to have to start punching holes in your Berk to put a jizz bit. Yeah, that's a loophole.

Now, have you seen what's going to happen? Crocs will take it to court and say, no, jizz bits. But do Crocs even get any money from sales of jizz bits? Or is that just like rogue other- I don't think so. I feel like that's like phone cases for phones. Oh, you're absolutely right. Steve Jobs isn't getting a percentage of every phone case sold for an iPhone.

No, surely not. It's just accessories. Fashion is... Oh, it's a slippery slope. It's a slippery slope. If you come in with a jizz bit on your Birkenstock, you're done.

Jess and Ducco. The Oz Open kicked off yesterday, actually, and I was down in Melbourne doing the weather there. What a summer of sport. Summer of sport. Cricket into tennis.

Yes, we love it. And other people are doing pre-season. You sound like you were going to go for three things there. Summer of sport. Cricket into tennis. Yes. We love it. And other people are doing pre-season. You really sound like you were going to go for three things there. You really did. Hey, NFL playoffs. There you go. Thank you.

I knew you'd get there. Yep. So I was there doing the weather, and it was really cool doing it in Melbourne Park and whatever, yada, yada. But I had to pick up my, they're very strict on accreditation. Who can get in, who can't. They're very strict. I mean, when you're rubbing shoulders with Sabalenka and Jockitch,

you've got to make sure people are who they say they are. Me and Coco Gough hanging out, getting coffees, you know. Another flat white Coco. I like Coco. Is she number one? She's not number one? I don't know if she's number one. Or Sabalenka.

Sabalenka, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a reigning champ too. Is she? But you have to go to this like full area they've got dedicated for full accreditation. It's off site a little bit, like a couple of, a bit away, a kilometer away sort of thing. And when you go in there, it's very official. You have to pick it up on your own, but there's this lady on the desk and you're getting this

big queue and it's, this can be anyone, right? It can be players. It can be media. Anyone can go to pick. You have to get your own accreditation. I was about to say, I would have thought because you're working for Channel 9, in this instance, someone from Channel 9, a lackey, would do all this for you. Yeah, no.

They're very strict. You had to have ID. You had to be there yourself. And I rock up. And this guy was there before me. And the lady goes, you've already seen media? And he's like, yeah. And she's like, I don't know.

What's your name? Does him. I get to the desk thinking we get the same treatment. Oh, I can already. Yeah. What your name? Does him. I get to the desk thinking we get the same treatment. I can already, yeah, what did she say? She looked at me. Did she look you up and down? What were you wearing? I was wearing like a plain t-shirt, some shorts,

Birkenstocks I do believe as well actually. And she goes, are you a player? This is not the ego boost this kid needs. Are you joking? She goes a player? This is not the ego boost this kid needs. Are you joking? Yeah, yeah. She goes, player?

And I go. Oh, did you? You would have got rock hard right then and there. I had full lead in the pencil. I was like, Morgan was in the car. I was like, oh, can I get my wife in here so she can? I just, this is so exciting. To be looked up and down and asked, are you a professional athlete?

Are you a professional tennis player? Here to compete. Because they've got all sorts of different body shapes and sizes in tennis, you know? I was going to say, what's the average height? Usually, I mean, you're a bit taller, isn't it? Literally, I've got jockage in my head, and he's a tall boy, isn't he? He's not tall. To be fair, Coco, she's tiny.

Yeah, Coco's not tiny. And the demon's not, he's not tall. He's not tall. So she goes, are you a player? Oh my God. And my first reaction was, yeah, I'm a player. I'm a player. I'm a player. And then she goes, okay, name? And I was like, no, I'm not a player? Oh, my God. And my first reaction was, yeah, I'm a player. I'm a player. I'm a player.

And then she goes, okay, name? And I was like, no, I'm not a player. Here's my ID. I do fill in weather on the weekends. It's my first time. Because she would have got the big portfolio out of play as being like, which one are you? What are you seated in the wall? I'm like 120th.

It's my first Oz Open. Oh, man. It felt good. It was at that moment I knew it was going to be a good year. I'm going to put it on our social media. Could be the biceps. I don't know. It could be.

Could be the quads. It could be the fact your left one is so much bigger than your right one. Oh, he's really just perfected his forehead. What's something you are just putting up with in your house? Maybe so many years have gone by that you are oblivious to it now. And then when people come over or maybe it is a family member who's like, please do something about that. You're going, eh, it's not that big of a deal, is it?

Like we copped it for so long, had that tiny fridge. Remember that? Oh, my God. We had a tiny, like a bar fridge. Oh, my God. You were taller than your fridge. I was, yeah. It's pretty amazing.

Maybe that's why I liked it because I could look down at it. You felt superior. I felt compliant. And then when we got the bigger fridge, we're like, why did we spend so long not doing that? The couple of times I did go to your house to feed the dog or whatever and I'd open, it was bursting at the seams. I'm like, guys, you need more space.

So what's something you are just putting up with at your house? Maybe you want to dob someone in. I'd like to nominate my parents. Now, they live interstate, so we were visiting them for Christmas. We were there for a whole week, Ducco. Stress-free or? I'll be honest with you. The first couple of days were blissful.

Okay. But we had booked in like lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner. You were getting out of the house though, Monty Lucia. Exactly, because we've got a lot of friends down there, so we're ticking everyone off for the Christmas break, dinner, lunch, dinner. Yeah, you were getting out of the house though, Monty Lucia. Exactly, because we've got a lot of friends down there, so we're ticking everyone off for the Christmas break, you know, our annual catch up. Yeah. Look, then it may have got to a point where we're just stuck in the house.

And I've told you, there's a magical phenomenon that happens when I walk through the parents at front door. I become my 15-year-old brat self. Yeah. I know it's on me. I don't know what happens. It's just metamorphosis backwards. Did you open your Christmas presents the night before? You didn't. Well, I'll be's on me. I don't know what happens. It's just metamorphosis backwards. Did you open your Christmas presents

the night before? You didn't. Well, I'll be honest with you. Oh, I was about to sound like such a dudley durst. Go on. Go on. No, come on. Come on. You got it now. I can't look at anything. Because it all went to the kid.

It all went to the kid. Last year, mummy, there was 36 presents. Lucia. And it was so annoying because my brother still got heaps. And I was like, that's crap. He doesn't have a child yet, you see. So clearly my parents spent all the allocated funds for Jessica on Lucia, which is fine.

It's really nice. But I got Bob Kiss. I got a nice pair of earrings. I think they were diamonds. Did you sit there? Were you almost crying while Lucia doesn't know what's going on? No, but you know what? You know what?

Shit me. And if my mum is listening, how about you have some feedback? Yeah, okay. My mum grabbed her, and we did it Christmas Eve because I knew my mum cooking on Christmas Day for the lunch she was hosting. Too stressful to do presents, So we did it Christmas Eve. She grabbed Lucia, had her on her lap and had honest to God about 25 to 26 gifts that she had bought Lucia, sat with Lucia and opened them all. And I said, can I hold her while we open some?

And she went, no. But you bought all these. You know what they are. And Lucia doesn't have any idea what's going on. It's classic. She was playing with the wrapping paper, not the gift inside. You know what they are. And Lucy doesn't have any idea what's going on. Classic. She was playing with the wrapping paper, not the gift inside. Not the present, yeah. Books, toys.

How do you get all those presents back? Because they're in Victoria. Honestly, we had to pay for over luggage. I'm going to send my dad the bill. I went, how dare you? Anyway, that's not the point of the story. You're paying for luggage that's not even yours anyway because you got no presents.

What a horrible Christmas. I wore my earrings and I went, pah! They're really nice earrings. Silver, though. I'm like, mum, a gold girly, you should know that. Anyway. I'm so glad I didn't get you a cigarette, Santa. I just wanted to say that. Oh, man. I am the easiest person. No, you're not. I'll just tell you what I want. The most expensive person.

My mum doesn't ask me. She thinks she knows. She clearly doesn't. What she doesn't know, Daco, is something that's going on in her own house because she and my dad are oblivious to it. And I've now put a line in the sand. Literally as we were leaving, it was a couple of days after Christmas. We stayed after Christmas. I said, I looked them both in the eye.

I went, I hope you enjoyed your time with me and with the grandbaby because we are not coming back to this house until you fix your oven. The oven? Now, my mum. Your mum's oven will get a workout. Bro, 100%. And that's why I think it was so grating on me because she's in and out of this thing multiple times a day. I don't know what the issue is.

If the tray has expanded, if something is faulty, if there is something's worn down like the lacquer, I recorded, have you got the audio? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I recorded the sound my mum and dad's oven makes every time you pull. If I play audio of just you crying from not getting Christmas presents? No, no. That's an ugly side of me, isn't it? Now I've got to work on it.

Have you got it high volume, though? I'll crank it. Here we go. How horrific is that? I'm sorry. Please tell me you think that's as bad as I think it is. It's an annoying sound. It's not annoying.

Annoying isn't a good enough adjective. My e-drum's broken. Thank you. It's a screech. It's horrific. And granted, that's me recording on a crappy iPhone, and now it's being transported into the radio. That, multiple times a day, she's pulling out.

Are they just used to it now? They are so used to it. I said to my dad last visit, go buy some WD-40. Is that what WD-40 is invented for? Loosen up, yeah. Surely there is a product available at Woolworths or Bunnings maybe. But it's funny what you do get used to in your own home. They are deaf to it.

They don't care. And my mum is the one with her head right there. She doesn't even flinch. I swear to you, Lachia started crying. And I thought that would tip her over the edge. Lasagna's ready, Jessica. And maybe she's got, like, priority. It is an annoying sound.

Oh, it's just horrific. And you had that with you not getting enough presents? It sounds like the worst week of your life. Can we move? It sounds like such a hard week. My brother got a golf club. I went, they ain't just... Just a singular club?

Yeah, singular. Do you know what type? A tailor-made... Like a driver? A driver. Oh, they're expensive. Yeah, that's a good one. They are so expensive!

Are they? Yeah. But that's not the point of the story. I've got Jess's emotions coming out of the oven. Oh, no. I didn't get anything. So 13, 10, 60. 13, 10, 60.

What are you just putting up? How many presents did you get? What are you just putting up within your house? Yes. Yeah, what are you just cutting? Like for me, it's roaches. Are you just letting them go? Because we got the spray man in, but they're not dying.

There's so many flies now, too. Are you noticing the flies? Yeah, because of this weather. It's like perfect breeding time. And then it rains, and then it's time for them to hatch, and they come when it's sunny again. It's ridiculous. They're everywhere.

I was just going to say this complete off-taking-us-on-a-real-tantrum, which I shouldn't do. No, why not? I read an article the other day that we've invented male mosquitoes that can impregnate females and kill them so we can cut off the mosquitoes. I'm telling everyone about this story. Didn't they call it toxic masculinity mosquitoes or something? Of course.

TMMs. The mosquitoes we invented to kill off the mosquitoes have a label. Yeah, toxic masculinity. This is what men do. But in the original meaning of the word toxic, because it has like a poison in their semen. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it does. Anyway, sorry.

You don't want to talk about the oven screech at home. 13, 10, 60. What are you just copying at home? That call of fame's up for grabs. It is. It is a night stay at the Crowne Plaza Darling Harbour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And tickets to the aquarium and the zoo.

Yeah. You just have to tell me what you're putting up with at home. Is it the oven screech? Is it the oven screech? Is it no presents? Maybe you don't have a front door. TaylorMade Golf Club, you say? I've got to wear these earrings tomorrow so you can see.

They are nice. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What are you just putting up with at home? Yeah, like my parents, we were there over Christmas and it was fantastic. Great. I left and my cup was full.

Very full. What's the first thing Jess said to you when we saw her, a little meeting? Because the first thing she said to me, and I know it was to you as well, oh, I spent too long with my parents. Mad regret. And it's one of those things.

It's not them, it's me. Because something happens when I cross that threshold of my childhood home, I just revert. All the self-work I've done, out the window. Anyhoo, they're putting up with a horrific oven screech. This is their oven. And my mum and dad just don't hear it anymore. I swear to God, my baby cried.

And that's not going to tip them over the edge. The dog's barking because it's so high pitched. To go by WD-40. Apparently one of my brother's mates, Lammer, can't come over anymore for dinner. The lamb man's not coming in. He. Lammer couldn't possibly stand his mate's parents oven. Where do you all live?

Because of the boys. They eat at each other's house. They're all ethnic, you know. You know. He's Greek. My mum. Yeah, that's what they eat. That's mine as yours.

Exactly. But he's like, I can't do it. Dutch. Can't do it. It is an annoying sound. Until your parents sort out the oven. It is nails on a chalkboard times a bajillion. Anywho, what are you just putting up with?

What are you just copping? So I've said to mum and dad, I ain't coming. I ain't coming back here. Get a new door. Get a new tray. Yeah, maybe WD-40. Is it WD-40? Any oven experts out there?

What can I send to my parents' house? I wouldn't know. Is that even a thing? Get an air fryer. You reckon my mum's going to use an air fryer? Oh no, goodness me, no. Jodie. J know. Is that even a thing? Get an air fryer. Yeah, you reckon my mum's going to use an air fryer? Oh, no. Goodness me, no. Jodie.

Jodie. Hello. Hi, how are you? Yeah, we're so good. Happy New Year to you. Thank you for joining us back day one. Yep. I've been waiting for you to come back.

Oh, we love to hear that. It's good to be back, Jodie. Jodes, what are you putting up with in your house? My daughter's nightlight that she's had for quite a few years now. Okay. And she goes everywhere with it. If we go somewhere for the night, she takes it with her. And recently I went and stayed with friends and they said,

how do you put up with that noise? And I didn't realise it was noisy until they told me. What do you mean? It makes a noise and you stopped hearing it? It's like a lava lamp. So it's got this this it goes like, while it's swirling around, it makes like a tick noise because there's a white thing at the bottom that actually makes

it go up and down. Hers is a swirly one. It's not just a lava lamp. Hers goes around in circles like a cyclone. So there's this little tiny white thing at the bottom that goes up and down up and down and as it does it, it goes tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And I didn't realise until someone and it's freaking

noisy. Like, I hear it from my room now. Oh, now you can't unhear it. Oh, they've made an obvious turn. And you can't hear it, and you won't because your daughter's obsessed with it. I can't. Why? Because her arnie bought it for her in San Antonio.

Okay. Like, her arnie's in Canada, so it's just like her favorite thing, and she will not go anywhere without it, so God forbid it breaks. Jodie, what I'm hearing is, I think it's just like her favourite thing and she will not go anywhere without it. So God forbid it breaks. Jodie, what I'm hearing is I think it's going to be a slight elbow and we're going to smash the nightlight. It's going to fall off. Sorry.

And maybe Arnie Canada can send a quieter one. You know what I mean? You can't put up with that for too much longer, Jodie. You can't. Monique on 131060, what are you just putting up with at home? Yeah, good morning. Firstly, please don't play that noise again. I almost crashed my car trying to cover my ears.

You get it, Monique. It's horrific. It's so bad. I'll tell my mum. Because when I go to my in-laws' house and we have dinner, for some reason their cutlery and plate combination basically makes the same noise when everyone's eating dinner. So there's six of us adults, and I can't say anything because everyone's

just eating, but whenever they're cutting their food, that's the noise it makes. It's like the scraping of the knife on the plate. It's horrendous. So, like, the whole time we're having dinner, I'm, like, trying to not cover my ears but also dying from the noise. It's so bad. And anything with your in-laws as well.

Yeah, you can't say no. Yeah, exactly. There's a level there where you just can't cross. Exactly, exactly. Oh, but, again, you just can't cross. Exactly, exactly. Oh, but again, that nails on a chalkboard feeling down the spine. The worst. We'll finish off with Jodie on 131060. Good morning, Jodie.

What are you putting up with at home? Morning, guys. Good morning. Yeah, I've got no front door handle. I can't enter my house unless somebody's home. Did something happen to the front door handle and you just haven't got around to replacing it? No, it's the house I grew up in and it's never had one.

Wait, so how do you get in? What do you do? Basically, you walk around the back and enter through the back or if somebody's home, you knock and get them to let you in. So you have dealt with this for decades? I'm, yeah, in my 40s now. And just copped it. What?

Yeah, pretty much. I can't believe you've never had that change because it's something you see and do every single day. Surely. But it really, yeah. Similar like my mum. She goes, ah, it's just the way it is now. Exactly.

I guess we just enter through the back door now. Yeah, this is what we're a back door house. We're a back door house. Oh, my goodness. People are putting up with stuff. They are. They are. Thank you, Jodie.

Thank you, Jodie. Happy New Year. Yeah, well, make you feel better? Oh, not really, because now I'm thinking she's just going to be justified in putting up with it. There's some animosity already amongst the team. And you know what? It wouldn't be us. Yeah, without that.

If we didn't air our grievances as soon as they arose. We did a post yet last night to say we're back. And you and me were discussing it. We're back live for 2025. Live for 2025. And you and me were discussing it over text. I said I'll post it. And I invited all.

Can I also just bring the rice cookers behind the scenes? Yeah. I wasn't going to include Shy Guy and Babs. You were the one who said, have you got a group pic? I went, oh, yes. Jess was just going to do me and her. I was like, let's do them, everyone. We've got so many cute pics, you and I.

And I went, oh, I guess we've had, surely there's one. I had to dig for it, though. You did. So I included everyone. Then I was like, I'll invite everyone to collaborate on the post on Instagram. Very nice. Jess and Ducko, Jess, me, Shy Guy, Babs. Every single person accepted the collaboration except for Babs.

Gen Z are Babs. She only has eight, count them, eight posts on her Instagram. Look at my little pudgy hair. And we couldn't even make the ninth. I know. We couldn't even get there. I think we've ruined her aesthetic because the eight she currently has are just her on her own, granted in slightly different poses.

Yeah, just doing the same thing. Just looking cute. Didn't want to collaborate Because you said Babs You got a lot of followers From that post I did yes I know what the issue is

Yeah what is it So when you posted The first in the carousel Because you posted Four or so pics Yes The first I was not her

Is you and I Was that it Babs So when it appears on Babs Sure That's my problem I didn't realise that Oh but that's okay. But you... I've got all

landscapes, so it's all landscapes and then a photo of you two. Yeah, but work is your life, so it makes sense that we would be on your good. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we are your life. Babs, why didn't you accept it? I might remove it later. Do you not love us? Are we not cool enough for you? Yeah, yous are kind of cool. That was a stutter there.

My sister licked the butcher glass. My sister used to lick the butcher glass. Well told, Babs. Thanks so much. Another big year, team. Nothing's changed. Nothing has changed, and I'm so grateful for that. I know.

I will get better. I don't think so. Nowhere else I'd rather be. I know. Up next, though, the AusOpens kicked off. Novak Djokovic, he's in town. He's in Melbourne. Yes.

And he's done some more weird things. He's got a new thing, but I kind of want to try it. And he's getting a lot of heat for it online. It is one of those things. Novak is the top of his game. We all know that. But, my God, even the stuff, you go, ah, still don't get it. You're a weirdo. You're a weirdo.

Jess and Jaco. Of course, Oz Open kicked off yesterday. It's happening all day today. Kyrgios takes the court tonight, which will be exciting at 7 o'clock and Alcaraz as well. But we know Novak Djokovic, he loves the Oz Open. I think he's won it more than anyone else. I think you are correct. He didn't win it last year, but he's won it more than anyone else. And then he was the famous, we

locked him in a hotel room in Melbourne in 2020 because he's an anti-vaxxer. Oh, the COVID, he's an anti-vaxxer. He didn't get his vaccines and it was a whole court case and he wasn't allowed to play and he got deported. And now he's saying his food was poisoned when he was here. Was he a, was he sort of, did he go on the thing saying, well, I'm never playing the Oz Open again if you're going to treat me like this?

Something like that. I feel like he got mad. But then he realised he notches up most wins here, so he had to come back. He has to come back. Yeah. And I've never seen a player who gets booed in the one country that he's the most successful at. Like, people don't like him, but they like him. Yeah, but Aussies have tall poppy syndrome.

We hate anyone who is elite. Very true. But he's very holistic with his approach, wellness-wise. Like, I know he's full vegetarian, all that sort of gear. But he has this new thing called an energetic disc. An energetic disc. He's come out with it publicly now. This isn't a very new bit of technology.

It was invented in the 1930s. And you're using the word technology? Well, I've got audio of him explaining what the disc does, okay? It's an energetic disc. Creates an electromagnetic field around it. And the kind of secret is in this pattern. Place it on a certain part of your body place this part for example if you have a stomach issues which i do have often when i'm nervous

stressed before the match or indigestion issues starts creating heat so then it starts enhancing the metabolic function i've just seen a picture of it It reminds me of a slow feeder dog bowl You know how when my dog is a guard It's as thin as a frisbee It's as thin as a frisbee And it's round And it looks like fluorescent green I'm such a hypocrite, Ducko

Because you know, I love I love my voodoo I thought you'd be all into this My heebie-jeebies, whatever But this just reminds me Going back to COVID times again, remember the controversial celebrity chef Pete Evans came out with the energy blender for like $25,000?

That's right. It's giving that. It does have a bit of that vibe. But if you could put this in, imagine watching Novak in public and he just gets his disc and he puts it on his stomach for half an hour. You don't turn it on. No. It's like battery powered.

It's the kinetic energy with the body and the disc. So the way those grooves, is he saying that conducts energy? Correct. And then that energy goes into him and sorts out his indigestion. And he can put it on his head in long flights if he's got a headache or something like that. If it works for him, it works for him. But God, it just, that's even crossing a line for me. I thought I was going to bring this and I was going to be, you know,

she canning him and you were going to be defending him. No, I don't know where the line is, but he's crossed it for me. Like I've had kinesiology. Have you ever had kinesiology? What do they do? If there's any kinesiologists out there who want to call up, because I might not do it justice, but I had a yoga teacher once say, I've been practising, can I do it?

Because I said. 13, 10, 60 if you've done or you do it. Because I said my knee hurts or something in that particular position. Can I have some advice? Am I doing something wrong? Please don't tell me she just hovered over you. Yeah, bro. No, I went, ah.

Yes. No, she didn't chant, but she may as well have. She just hovered her hands over me and she explained that, again, if there's one out there, I don't want to get our kinesiologist rice cookers offside. But she hovered her hands over me and said that she was channeling the energy to fix the pain in my knee without touching me. And I had to like hover my leg at one point and she went and sort of pushed against the energy. Like Dragon Ball Z moves above your knee. She was going Super Saiyan. Good reference from you.

I used to watch... I did not see that coming. I used to watch Cheese TV 7am before school. It was Pokemon into Dragon Ball Z. It was. That's what it feels like. So I've done that. And I'll tell you what, my knee didn't hurt after that.

Shut up. It's got to be a mental thing. It's got to be a mental thing. But Novak's disc, that's even crossed a line for me. You don't like it? I don't. Maybe I've got to try it. I thought you'd? I don't. Maybe I've got to try it. I thought you'd be all about this.

Maybe I've got to try it. It just feels so... If I'm backing kinesiology in with the energy and the non-touching, maybe I need to back up his energy disc. I would love to go and get someone to do it. He is number one. I'd let someone go and do it over me and just watch them close their eyes. You want some kinesiology?

Yeah. Have you got pain? Yeah. I've always got pain. You've always got pain. Oh, the shoulder, the back. Shine Guy, can we circle back to the disc, please? Yes.

How much is the disc and where are we getting the disc? He had an engineer friend make it. Oh, he's got a CD. He's got a proper one. They're not available for sale. As far as I know, it's not available for sale because his friend made it. You know how you can get merch and you can get sponsorships and Nike maybe gives him his shoes.

I wonder if the disc people are now going to be like, we are the chosen disc of number one. Of Novak. Well, if he wins the Oz Open, I'll try it. Karen's called in on 131016. Karen, you've had this done. I have. As in, Karen, have you used a disc or have you done kinesiology?

I have had kinesiology performed on me. Did I explain that correctly? Is it like they don't touch you and it was like energy? Super sonic? Yes. They literally just put their hands sort of above and underneath, like say they're doing your legs or your kneecap. And, yeah, you feel the energy going around

until it sort of becomes more constant instead of a crazy spin. Hang on, so you felt, without her touching you, you felt the energy going into your sore leg? Well, I felt it was like something was spinning inside my joints and then it slowed down to a regular circle, and that's when they moved to the next joint. What part of the body was it on? The whole body.

They did it on my whole body to cure eczema, and it actually worked. So, wait, you don't have eczema anymore? Do not have eczema. No, no, no, Karen. Because Jess has bad eczema, which is why she can't wear deodorant in the studio, and it sucks for Shy Guy and I.

So if we can get her this to cure the eczema. Karen, hang on a minute. Karen, I thought this was like a muscle pain. Yeah, me too. But you're telling me she went boogity boogity and then cured your skin ailment? No. It was the strangest. I'm totally with you.

It was so strange. Karen, I'm going to need you to send you to Babs. Yeah, yeah, because we're going to get your person to Jess. Because if you can cure Jess's stench in the studio, Karen, you've just changed our lives. It flared up so bad yesterday. And I told you about my new bean breakfast. And you said, well, at least wear deodorant.

I can't. You should see this under my arms. It's horrific. There's a reason Shia spent half the show outside the studio today. Already. It's only 7.50. Jess and Ducco. Who knew we were back today, Jess?

Who knew we were live and dangerous for 2025? We knew. We knew. Monday the Jan 13th. Couldn't come fast enough in my book. Already had an issue in the men's toilets too, by the way. It's just an FYI for the company. That's on me.

Number one or number me. Number one or number two? Number one, but the urinal's blocked up and it's just filled with urine from someone. I don't know whose it is. You'd rather block out. I sent a photo to Babs so she can sort that out. Oh, she's the toilet queen. Babs, you got that photo? You good to sort that one out today? I've got it. I'm not sorting

it out. Okay. Yes, Babs. Would you rather block a cubicle with number two or a urinal with number one? Because Wee's theme's a bit more like harmless. No, but it's so in your face, a urinal. It's there. It's aggressive. And you were saying you like urinal number one, so it's right there at the front door.

Everyone likes urinal one, which is why it keeps getting clogged. You'd rather clog a cubicle. Isn't it? It's a waterless urinal, isn't it? There's no flush. No, there's no flush. So there's nothing I can do about it. It's just sitting there. So the drain is just- I've been in three times now, and it's just- Bab urinal, isn't it? There's no flush. No, there's no flush. So there's nothing I can do about it. It's just sitting there.

So the drain is just... I've been in three times now and it's just... Babs, we're... What, just to top it off? No, no. Just so I may as well keep going. Babs, we're going to need Drano staff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that... God, your day just got busy, Babs. I'm not doing it. Who else is there? They've cut... I'll be exhausted after my three-hour program. There's no one else. You can't plunge a urinal, can you?

I don't think so. I don't know what they do to fix it. You look dehydrated, by the way. Do we need to talk about the colour of your urinal? Well, it's because we just had a coffee. I don't think I had much water. It's dark. I'm normally pretty...

It's an ominous colour, isn't it? Yeah. Anyway, I'm glad we're discussing this. I'm worried that you squeezed a lemon. All right. Oh, I can't imagine yours. You go in there and do it on top of mine. Yours'm worried they're kicking. Squeeze the lemon. All right. Oh, I can't imagine yours. You go in there and do it on top of mine. Yours would be orange.

No. Have you had a cup of Metamucil this morning? No. Wow. I'm worried. Yours would be purple. It wouldn't be purple, but it wouldn't be clear. Not at this time.

It's too early. Anyway. Have you had a bottle of water yet? I've not seen you have a sip of that water for the past 12 months. I've never seen you drink water. Excuse you, it's half. Yeah, it probably has been half for the past six months. I filled it up this morning.

Babs is getting thrown around this chat a lot. Hey, we need to play Alpha Bucks, team. We've got $10,000. Yeah, some things don't change and that's us playing that game for $10,000. Very nice. Did you work on that over the holidays? I didn't, you know. That was smooth. I'm just feeling good. 13, 10, 60. Call us right now if you want to get... You've got to get through, Babs.

You're feeling good because you've got no pressure on your bladder. I've emptied it all out. Go check it out. Give us a call. We'll play next. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back to you, of course, if there is time. They're the rules of engagement. We are playing for $10,000. It's our second official Alphabucks of the year. And we go to Mary Jane. Good morning, Mary Jane. Good morning, guys. Welcome back.

Thank you. Happy New Year. Can we call you MJ? MJ. Absolutely. MJ feels good. Feels like Spider-Man. It does.

Congratulations to Zendaya and Tom Holland. Look at them. Surprise engagement. Surprise engagement. I think everyone saw her rock on the Golden Globes red carpet. You go. Anyway, MJ, what are we doing with $10,000, babe? I've got a 60th in Vietnam in April.

Hello. That'd be fun. Yeah, it'd be great fun. A girlfriend's 50th, yeah. Wonderful. All right, let's supercharge. Yeah, because you can get a lot for your money in Vietnam. Absolutely.

You know what? I don't know. Quick currency conversion. $10,000 AUD into dong, please. Just wanted to show off that I knew what the Vietnamese currency was. Thank you. I didn't even know. 156 million dong.

Oh. That's a lot of dong for you, MJ. That's a lot of dong. That's a lot of dong for the 50th. MJ, you're going to need to buy excess luggage for all that dong. Oh, yes. And you're not going to believe, in case you don't win the $10,000. I'm just going to do it with all that dong.

The supplementary prize is really good. We're going to circle back to the supplementary prize. Oh, what is it? Oh, yes. It's our Matt York. Yeah, we'll come back to that. It works with the dong. MJ.

How good's a pho? I love a pho. Oh, it's very good. A pho. A pho. Love it. All very good. A pho. A pho. Oh. Love it. You, um...

All right, let's play the game. You Bergens would call it a pho, but it's very fast. Pho. Anyway, MJ... You, Bojan, call it a pho. Have I told you? You call it a Bergen. I call it pho.

Yeah, you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. MJ, I haven't told her the letter. I. The letter's I. I for igloo. Okay. MJ's on.

She's like, can we play the game? I reckon MJ's walking away with a dong. She's like, can we do this? I'm going to getloo. Okay. MJ's on. I reckon MJ's walking away with a dong. She's like, can we do this? I'm going to get me a dong and get out of here. Don't rush to get to the dong. No, you never rush to get to the dong. It's not about the destination. It's about the journey. The journey it takes.

You need to do it. Okay. Sorry, what was that, MJ? You're on fire. We are. We haven't missed a beat. We're making ourselves laugh. We are.

I still reckon there's something again. What you going to do with all that, Donald? It's 17 minutes away. Sorry, we are running over. Oh, goodness gracious. All right, Dad. That is why I'm here. Okay, let's go, let's go.

MJ, I. Come on, MJ. Are you ready? Let's go. Let's go. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter I. We need you to name a country.

India. Something sweet. I. An actor. Is ra... man, is it? A nursery rhyme. Hat. A colour.

A horror movie. A cold beverage. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. That could have been on us. I'm not sure. We got ourselves two with a question mark over. Did you say something?

No, I think it was one. Did you say something sweet was ice? Yeah. Yeah, okay. So we got ourselves one. One. One of the best. You could have said ice cream.

And, actor, you were saying Israel, ma'am, almost like the Broncos player. Idris Elba is, I think, who you wanted to say. Yes. Not Isra, ma'am. A nursery rhyme. Itsy Bitsy Spider. A colour could have been indigo.

A horror movie. It. Cold beverage. Iced coffee. Iced tea. Many of the ices. You don't go AMD handed, though. You still get yourself $100 to spend at Minx Erotic Boutique.

Minx.com.au. That is all yours. Okay, Mary Jane. Lovely. Thank you That is all yours. Okay, Mary Jane? Lovely. Thank you so much, guys. Thanks, MJ. You have fun in Vietnam. Send us pics from the 50th.

Yes. Ah, beautiful. Shall do. Wonderful. We play our fucks again tomorrow, 6.30 and 8. It doesn't go anywhere. Slurping up a big bit of beef. Big bit of beef in the flow.

In your... For her. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60. What went wrong on the holiday? Kids are still on holiday as we know Maybe it's happening right now Maybe it happened over Christmas, New Year, whatever it may be

My friend, I spoke to him, Wally You know Wally Wally On Godfather to his son Yeah, August August, yeah, good memory Thank you Good name memory

Thank you Now, I spoke to him a couple of days ago And he told me the horror story So him and his two sisters have all had kids at the exact So like similar time, within a couple of months of each other. Oh my God, that's so cute. I know he wouldn't have been talking to his sisters being like, when are you guys going

to do it? Should we try and time up so our kids, like all the cousins are the same age? And it's brilliant. But how wonderful it's worked out that way. They all got married around the same time. They all had kids around the same time. Oh, that feels like it was thought out. Yeah.

So it's their family Christmas. They're on the Gold Coast holidaying. Their parents were there, obviously. They were all staying in the one house. So him, his two sisters, and their kids. And how old are the kids that we're talking? Oh, not yet one. Not one.

So all, let's call them infants. Very much so. First Christmas, family's there, grandparents. One of the kids gets really sick. Gets RSV, right? Oh, wow. Really sick. Proper, proper flu-y sick. Gets really sick. That kid then infects the other kids. So all the kids get really sick. Gets RSV, right? Oh, wow. Really sick. Proper flu-y sick.

Gets really sick. That kid then infects the other kids. So all the kids get really sick, right? Yeah, because they've got no immune system. And they're all in the one house, okay? So everyone's getting very stressed. My friend's kid, Augie, was starting to get really sick. They thought he was having seizures.

He wasn't. It was just him trying to cope with the RSV, okay? Oh, like the way his body was responding. Exactly. So they rushed him to hospital. My mate, while he was so stressed about it, he's obviously his first kid. And he'd be looking at his sister and going,

you did this to me. You did this. He got so stressed, he started getting headaches on one side of his face. And he started getting itchy and stuff like that. And he started getting something in his eye. He started losing a bit of vision. Oh my God.

The stress is really manifesting physically. He didn't say anything about it because he wanted to keep, you know, it's all about the baby of this. Once they cleared the baby, it was just RSV. All the kids, I should say, totally fine. Wonderful. Turned out that he got so stressed, he got shingles in his eye. That's not a thing.

Is that a thing? I'm showing you a photo right now of him. You've seen him. You've met him before. That doesn't look like him. He looks deformed. He looks like a villain, like a Disney villain. He does.

He looks like something out of The Hills Have Eyes. Look, he does. Hang on. So I've already heard. My uncle had shingles years and years ago. It's really bad shingles. It's the most painful thing because it attacks your nerves. I didn't realize it could be brought on from stress.

From stress related, yeah. And I don't know how he's manifested in the eye. He nearly lost his vision in his eye. Had to go see an eye doctor. How do we even treat shingles? Is it antibiotics or something? Yeah, he was on meds for it. But you're very contagious for weeks. So he went home to the house. He passed the shingles on. No, no, to the babies are fine.

Once again, all the kids are fine. He passed the shingles on to his sister who initially, whose kid initially hadingles on. No, no, to the babies are fine. Once again, all the kids are fine. Thank God. He passed the shingles on to his sister, whose kid initially had the RSV. So now the family is in lockdown with shingles. I thought the United Nations had some sort of treaty on chemical warfare. But it would appear Wally has gone, I'm going to get you back.

I'm going to get you good. I'm going to get you with my shingles. And he faced Tommy the other day. I was like, what has happened to you? He nearly lost his vision. It's going to be okay, but he's still very contagious for a long period of time. And now they're still there, all still together, like in separate rooms and stuff like that.

Oh my God. And he can't be anywhere near. Merry freaking Christmas. I know. He can't be anywhere near his child or his wife. He's locked away. And I'm sure that's what his wife wants. You know, dealing with a newborn and infant is hard enough.

And all the in-laws. Let alone your partner's just. Let alone your partner's like, let alone your partner's like, soz, I'm contagious. Yes, he's got to do the right thing, but she's probably going, help me with this kid. Oh, it's a nightmare. A scene from a horror movie. Giving yourself shingles from stress about your child.

Any time of the year would be terrible, but it's Christmas. Oh my goodness. It's hot. It's a busy house. And nearly losing your vision. It's hot. It's a busy house. And you're nearly losing your vision. It's very bad. Wow. So basic question on 131060, what went wrong on the holiday?

What went wrong on the holiday? Can you top that? That call of fame prize, it's up for grabs. Yeah, I know. Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What went wrong on the holiday?

Yeah. Can you beat your kid getting RSV, infecting a bunch of other kids, and you're so stressed you get shingles in the eye? Nearly lose your vision, and now you're heavily contagious. Merry Christmas. We have a box in a couple of weeks, Shakara, me and him, and Morgan's like, well, I don't think he can go to the box because he's too. Honestly, I have heard shingles is one of the most excruciating diseases you can get

because it genuinely attacks your nerves. And I'm pretty sure you can ask Wally this. I don't think you ever get cured from it. It's like chicken pox. I think it lives in you forever. He said it's like a herpy. So it's like the virus lives in you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God. You take a herpy any day of the week. And a shingle in the eye. I'll take a coleslaw over shing, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. You take a herpy any day of the week. And a shingle in the eyes. I'll take a coleslaw over shingles in the eyes. Oh, my God. Yeah, so a bad experience for his new baby's first Christmas. They're all their first Christmas with their new kids. Shingles, RSV, house arrest.

But the phones have lit up. And, yes, we do have that epic Call of Fame prize this week. So let's go to Karen. Good morning. Good morning. How are you? Oh, we're so good. Happy New Year to you. Thank you for jumping on the phone.

Don't worry. What went wrong on your holiday, Karen? So, as usual, my husband always has to come down with something. And of course, this year it was shingles. And so basically, we had booked to stay at the Langham in Sydney just over Christmas, only just so I could have a bit of a break. Yes. And consequently, there was no, you couldn't cancel because, you know, that time of year, once you paid, that was it. There was no cancellation, said, yeah, I feel like I've got this bit of a rashing. And I looked at it and I said, oh, that just looks like contact dermatitis. Don't worry about it.

And then the next day the man was on the floor because it's true, it's very painful and it basically travels the nerve root. Yes. And it went up into his head and I thought, oh, you poor bugger. And I said, you know what? I said, we're going, whether you like this or not. Karen says, I don't care. I don't care.

I deserve my Langham sweet. Karen, why don't you just leave him at home and you go? Because I just, yeah, I didn't want to go. She's a nice one. She's dragging the hubby along with the shingles. I don't want to get room her. Of course, obviously. She's a nice one. She's dragging the hubby along with the shingles. You're coming.

I don't want to get room service with shingles, boy. Moaning on the floor next to me. You enjoying it, honey? This is a good holiday. Should we have a bubble bath? You sit out of it, though, because I don't want your hurts. You can watch me. Oh, brilliant.

Okay, we go to Erin on 131060. Erin, what went wrong on the holiday for you? Hey, we got a flat tire, which then led into a series of having no accommodation because my husband booked the wrong day. It's been New Year's Eve. It's paid $600 for an extra night of accommodation. Oh, no. So you've rolled in and they're like, you're meant to check in tomorrow.

We've got nothing for you today. Well, we called to let them know that we were going to be late and they were a bit clueless on the phone and didn't say anything. And then we got there and then we were clueless. This is why. And the flat tyre as well. Just really rubbed salt in the wounds. On the family holiday, was it no fights at Imagineera?

It was all stress-free? Oh, no, plenty of fights. Why didn't you book it? What a way to ring in the new year. You know how they say you should start the year how you want to continue through the year? Erin's going reset. Let's start again.

Start again. Lauren on 131060. Good morning, Lauren. Hi. Lauren, what went wrong on the holiday? Okay, so there is a mother's meet-up, like a meet and greet for people going to the Steiner School or maybe going to the Steiner School. Okay, and well, me and my little boy go, you know, all these prestige parents are all there.

And one of the activities is to make honey buns. So rolling like dough into whatever shape you want and then they're going to cook it. Sure. Yeah, instead, my little boy would like to snort the flour. Lauren, hello. What's he been watching, Lauren? Yeah, what is he doing? Everyone said, all these mothers were eyes on me going, oh.

He's like, Mum, you got a note? I don't think you're getting into this school, doll. The greatest summation we had about the anticipation of returning on air, for me personally, Ducko, was a bloke who said to my husband, I can't wait for Jess and Ducko to be back so I can hear how much you've stuffed up. While they've been on holiday. And shout out to everyone who called Angus me over the holidays.

There was a small kid who said hello to us while we were eating noodles before we saw Mufasa. And he was like, you're a ducko. And he was like, no, nice to meet you, legend. I'm Angus. He should really run with that, though, and just say really crook things. Like, yeah, I'm ducko. And just go rogue.

I was going to say, he's a great ambassador for you. For me. He's probably a better ambassador for me than I am for me. He had an NRL Newcastle Knight come up to him. Did he? And he thought he knew him from the clubs and stuff he runs. And the guy went, we've spoken on the radio before. And he was like, I'm not Ducco.

And I'm also not Jess. Who do you think I am? But no, he had that. And I thought, well, it would be remiss of me not to start 2025 with one of my favorite tales from the Chronicles of Angus. I watched a lot of clean talk on social media. Oh, yeah. Clean talk is, I guess, I'm going to say the arm of TikTok where people offer cleaning

hacks. So little tips and tricks and stuff. That's really old of you. Yeah, I know. Super mum of you. It is super mum of me. When I had a bit of downtime, I'm like, I'm going to address some of these issues in the house.

TikTok can help. And on one of these clean talk videos, someone was talking about the lime scale buildup in her toilet. Now, I didn't know that even what was building up in my toilet. Yeah. In like the pipe part. Yeah, down the bottom. Like I clean the bowl and stuff.

Yeah, yeah, but like underneath. You know, like the mouth of it, like the mouth to the pipe. Yeah, it can get a bit dirty. It can get really, I don't know what it is. I've since learned that's lime scale. Ah. Which lime scale is white, yeah, but it absorbs colours around it. And what's going into a toilet, not white.

Yeah, so that's why it's like brown and looks like just stains at the very bottom. It looks like stains, exactly. Morgan's mum scrubbed out to it when she was here, like cleaned it, but that stuff still at the bottom is still there. Okay. Some of it. You need clean talk, babe.

Okay. One of these women, she would have been 75 plus, she was like, I've been a cleaner all my life. I went, well, I'm going to listen to her. Yeah. You need to get CLR. You know that calcium limescale rust potion? Oh, right.

It comes in a silver jug thing. You can buy it from Woolworths or Bunnings. I sent Angus to Bunnings to buy it, and it's literally this potion that will eat away at limescale. Right. She said, leave it on overnight. Give it eight hours to really work on it and then scrub it. So toilets off limits for eight hours. Leave it in there, don't flush it.

Exactly, so do it overnight. If you need to go during the night. Overnight for you, that toilet's still not off limits. I had to go outside. I'm like, I've got to let the CLR do its work. The issue is, she said, get the water out of the bowl. Now, the way she did it was literally get like a jug. No.

Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you just peel the lid off and. Yeah, you could do some cistern. Not all those torts are like that anymore. No, exactly.

So this is the way she was doing. And I said to Angus, oh, what's the best way? What should I do? Get the water out. And he went, leave it to me. Oh, yeah. He comes back in with a leaf blower. Oh. And I went, I'm going to leave it to me. He comes back in with a leaf blower. And I went, I'm going to leave it to you.

Now, my husband, as you know, runs pubs and clubs. People are horrific and awful. Most Mondays, he has to deal with something or him or a colleague. I've left him some presents in some of those pubs. He has had people shove schooner glasses into the piping. Oh, I've seen it. And everyone wheezes on it. Yeah, he's had to deal with some stuff.

Yeah, that's horrible. So when he walked in with a leaf blower, didn't even bat an eyelid, Ducko. I went. Was he going to put it in reverse and suck it up? No, he was going to blow it through the pipe. Like it would take it. Would that work? Well.

Would that? Because you're not blowing it anywhere. When I said, you know, can you help? And he walked that in. As I said, I'm sure he knows what's up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm in the living room with the baby. You trusted him, yeah.

Of course I trust. I'm going to take the CLR lime scale part of it. He's going to do the water removal part. Okay. So we can get to the lime scale and actually scrub. Yeah. I reckon I hear the leaf blower go on. Not even half a second. No. Yeah. I reckon I hear the leaf blower go on. Not even half a second.

No! Yeah. This seems like a dumb idea from him. He's a smart boy. I know. He doesn't normally do dumb things. He went to like a smart school that was academically selective. I don't reckon he'd get in now.

You've really dumbed him up over time. What happened? All that rich woggy. What do you think happened? He's all over the water. It just went everywhere. It was dripping. So he emptied it out.

He emptied it out. Job done. He did achieve it, but it's all over the wall. Oh, no. It's all over him. Oh, yuck. He's got thick hair. And he's such a germaphobe, too.

He's such a germaphobe. It's funny. He can do a task that's required that might be germy, like clean, you know, gross pub toilets. But usually it's on his terms. I don't know what the hell he was thinking, but it's blown the water straight out of the bowl, all over him, all over the wall.

And I went, well, this is your problem. So he just thought it was going to go into the pot and, like, disappear. He thought, I don't know, physics. It would blow the water through the pot. That's probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard him do. Like, I would do something like that. I used a gurney in my shower to clean it, you know. At least your idea was put the leaf blower in reverse and suck up the water.

That feels smart. I don't know if leaf blowers can go in reverse. I just want to state that. No, they can. Because you can buy a bag attached to it. That's what I thought. He had no bag, man. His idea was blow. But if he did have a bag, I think they've got holes in it because a bag attached to it. That's what I thought. He had no bag, man. His idea was blood.

But even if he did have a bag, I think they've got holes in it because they're built for leaves. Not water. So he ended up scrubbing because he had to clean the whole bathroom. He just had to do it. While we were in there, scrub the lime scale off. And it's now pristine. The toilet's bright.

Well done. He had to have 15 showers. Jess and Zanko. Well done. He had to have 15 showers. Jess and Zucko. Can I go? Sandro Cavazza. Oh, yes, son. Great pronunciation.

Thank you so much. Hold on, me. Hang on a minute. Sandro Cavazza is Swedish. He's got to have Italian heritage. Hang on a minute. Alessandro Michele Sandro Cavazza is a Swedish singer-songwriter. He does not sound Swedish. Of Italian origin.

There you go. There it is. He said it right. Good. Nailed it. Of course he did. He was a member of the pop group Estraden. Oh, if you told me that, I should have led with that.

They sound like they've won Eurovision or something. Absolutely they have. Hey, been a fun show, team. Just go on nine. We're done here. Darko, for our first show for 2025, I think we hit the ground running. Absolutely. To all the rice cookers who got involved.

Yeah. I'll be honest, sometimes we're a little bit hesitant. You know, okay, we've been away for a month. Are people going to, you know. Be a bit shy. Are they going to be up with us? Are they going to be a bit shy? But no, thank you for the contributions.

Fantastic. Fantastic. And because of you lifting, we too lifted. The whole team was on fire today. Fantastic. Fantastic. And because of you lifting, we too lifted. The whole team was on fire today. Absolutely. Babs, as we found out and discovered, she wasn't wanting to be part of our collaboration pic on Instagram, but she was still here having a good time, I think. She was. Her alpha bucks, the people she put through, had a lot of fun with. Good, yeah. That win. Charisma. Remember last year when she called all the people dumb? That's right. Because we'd only given it

away like eight times. That's right. Bab we'd only given it away like eight times. That's right, Babs. Do you remember that? I was trying to forget that. Yeah, no, I'm not going to forget that. No, that's right. I'm going to make sure the rice cookers don't forget either. Yeah, absolutely.

And Shaga did. It was a joke. I'm not dumb. And Shaga was good today too. Yeah. Thanks. I think we'll workshop his segment at 6.10. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll get some opener. Opening the show. You know, we'll work it out. Oh, as long as, I said we loosely. Yeah. As long as he. We'll work it out. I said we loosely. As long as he reads what he wants to bring. I was on the Daily Mail. It was full of ads and I had four

ads all over the screen. A poor tradesman blames his tools, Shy Guy. We need to lift. Yeah, we need to get some Daily Mail Plus. It's been sorted out now we have all of it.. We need to lift. Yeah. We need to get some Daily Mail Plus. It's been sorted out. Now we have all of it. That will sort us out. That irreparable source.

Absolutely. Let's give them some more money to do great things. More chances to run up the Call of Fame, though, which is fantastic. That prize is so good. It'll help you out for school holidays as well if you need it. Nightstay, Crowne Plaza, Darling Harbour, plus tickets to Sea Life Aquarium and the Wildlife Zoo. Come on.

You've just got to get involved. The text line is always available for you as well. 0488881069. I've been to that sea life aquarium. Is that fun? It's fun. I've been there and the one in Melbourne. What was your favourite creature that you saw there?

The fairy penguins were cute. I got to feed them and stuff. We love a penguin. Penguins were nice. They've got a dugong in the sea life aquarium in Sydney now. Oh my God, love a dugong. Because I only know because when I was doing the weather, I was at Madam Two Swords next door and I got to do weather with wax figures.

And then during the week where the guy got to go hang out with a dugong and I was like, I feel like I've got to... Would you rather the dugong? Yeah, the dugong's a bit better on TV. Than the Bob Irwin wax figure. Yeah, than the Bob Irwin wax figure that doesn't talk back. Yeah, that's very fair. It was a tough carry. I, you know, I always like seeing the underside of stingrays.

Yeah. You know how they've got that weird little mouth? They look weird, don't they? They're so funny. Imagine them talking. What voice do you think a Stingray would have? It'd be tough.

They'd have a bit of attitude, I reckon. I think they would. Or a bit doughy because they're bottom feeders, you know? They cruise around the bottom. Yeah, they do.

I'm not going to give you a voice, I don't know it. We'll circle back tomorrow. We'll come back with that tomorrow. Tune in for Ducko's Stingray voice. But yes, our fox is back,

6.30 and 8 o'clock for $10,000. We'll be back again tomorrow too. No one slept in this morning, which is fantastic. No, well done. 2024, our first show, you put the mics on air and I was in the bathroom. That's right. We avoided that this year.

There was no issues. And off to a flyer. I mean, there was plenty of technical issues, but you didn't hear it on air. No, you really pushed through. Well done to you. I'll be here for a good hour. He was working overtime, team. You've got to know that. I'll be here sorting this out.. He was working overtime, team. You've got to know that.

He was working overtime. I'll be here sorting this out. There's not too much I can do on this side of the desk. You went to the toilet again. That's exactly what you did. I was like, well. And then you came back here while we were in the heats of technical issues. You're like, guys, are you proud that I went to the toilet before the show started?

Does anyone want to talk about Mufasa? Because I would love to talk about it with someone. So my mum got me no Christmas presents this year. No, no. She got me a couple things, but. Got a baby more. Anyway, we've moved on from that. We're done, and we're out of here.

You can get the podcast on Listener, wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure you download and listen. Oh, you don't want to miss today's. We're going to have some exciting stuff with the podcast this year, too. Yeah, exclusive stuff. Yes, yeah, absolutely.

But we're out of here. Stay tuned. Unlike Kylie Minogue says, tune in, tune out, we only want you to do the first half of that. Niche reference to the opening of the show, but yeah, tune in. Everyone knows that Kylie Minogue hit Lights, Camera, Action. I didn't know that was her song.

I did not even know that. I thought it was a voiceover artist. Hey, it's been a good show. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. I've got to get up with my China facts. I apologise to our Chinese audience. I love a Peking duck, though. Jess and Ducko! That though. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply.