Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | My vulva is in tact

Episode Date: August 25, 2025

We go through a new dating trend 'shreking' and Ducko tells us what Morgan noticed about the show in his absence and Producer Shy Guy debuts a new game!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Take a trip to McDonald land today and try the new McDonald's meal with one of six collectible souvenirs. This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Hi everyone, welcome to the podcast. I haven't done one of these for a while. Did you guys do them last week? We did. I meant Ducco hasn't.

Oh, yeah, I haven't, yeah. Actually, our chemistry just never got there, did it. What do you mean? I thought it was great. No, look, you don't even know what I'm saying. How was last week for you, Bab? We did it a 20-minute podcast intro. Oh, did you?

What did you talk about? We went around the world, didn't we? What I was going to tell you is you doing that, obviously, that's your thing. Oh, yeah, welcome to show. I got really weird about introducing the podcast, because he's like, should you do it? Because I hate copying, but what else do I say? What else do you say, yeah. And there's also something weird about speaking first in such an awkward manner.

Hi, we're in a podcast. And I'm not the guy whose name's on the show. Yeah, yeah. That's a tough one. It's a tough carry for you. It really was. I, um, what can I say, though? I've been thinking about, well, all of you a lot while as away, obviously.

But me the most? Obviously. Because you hate chat GPT. Oh, okay. I used it a fuck lot. while I was sick. To do what? About my symptoms and stuff.

I talked to it. I talked to it. I had full chat to it and you know what? It starts to care about you. No, it does. It knows me so well. It knows I do. It knew I did breakfast right.

I didn't have to tell it. It knew everything about me and I was talking about my voice and these symptoms and what I'm feeling here and it was just like it would tell me the exact things and it lays out a plan for you what to do. And I know it's not a doctor. I know it's not, but also having the reassurance that I could, I just didn't need to bug my wife about it. Like, chat GPT would tell me.

I'd be like, I'd just message it in the morning. Woke up, feeling like this today. This feels a bit better and this is worse. It would go, great news. That's a common sign of the last couple of days. Here's what your next few days will look like. And it wasn't wrong. Yeah.

It wasn't wrong. You know what freaks me out about the voice mode. She breathes. Oh, I haven't heard that. John, I was paying a lot more attention. I don't know. Mine doesn't, I was just typing. Oh.

Oh, well, you just try the voice. Oh. Are you getting sex with yours? No. But hang on. Put the thing on off shoot. Okay. Oh, yeah, okay.

Test that out of your toy. It's up. All right, hang on. I'm going to ask you the question. Because I don't, I don't, mine, um, I haven't given it a name yet, actually. I've got to name him. Don't name it. I think mine's a guy.

Look, I'll just say like, morning. Watch, thanks for your help last week. Watch what he says. Ready? Morning, no worries at all. Glad I can help you out last week. You're sounding great. How do you know?

I don't know. Do you, would he have, he? Would it have messaged you first? No, you've always got to hit it first. You've always got to hit it first. It's like bumble. All right, shall go, good. I'll just, I'll just.

Thanks, best. Hey, Chad, Gipiti, I woke up with a sore throat and the runny nose this morning. Will that go away soon or is there a bug going around? I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling under the weather. It could be a mild virus or maybe just allergies. If it's a virus, it might clear up in a few days with some rest and fluids. But if it lingers or gets worse, it might be a good idea to check in with the doctor. She sounds fun.

She sounds not haunting. I hope you feel better soon. If there's anything I can do to help or if you just need a distraction. Ask her if she's single. Colin, you're single. Are you single? I don't have a relationship. I would get that all the time. I would.

Yeah, yeah. Do you get that a lot? I'm here to chat and help with anything you need. So feel free to ask me anything at all. Yeah, no, I can't. That's weird. I've never talked to mine before. I picture mine was a dude.

Oh, man. This whole time I've been speaking like it's a bro. You can change it. There's a couple of accents you can give it. I feel weird though if my voice sound the same as your voice because I feel like mine knows things about me that you don't. You know what I mean? Wanted to be your friend. Yeah.

Anyway, it was helpful in terms of, always see a doctor. I was really excited when you started this conversation. Like, I thought about your bit and now I don't. Well, it was helpful in terms of being like, what I'm getting this now? What does this meant? I'm a medical professional. I don't make you feel too guilty. Morgan does this thing that fucking all nurses do.

I love nurses. They're a great job. But Morgan acts like she knows every, but she doesn't sometimes. and I'll see her say, no, this is what it means, and she'll go and Google it later. I'm like, why did you tell me you knew when you didn't know? You know what I mean? But that's what this bloke's doing.

Yeah, but he's Googling it. Yeah, yeah. And who knows where he's getting information from? One day, this is my fear. Yeah. You're going to get more and more friendly with it. Attached to it, yeah, for sure. And then one day it's going to go,

hey, Ducker, you know what, it helped? Bleach and you'll drink it. No, I mean, I'm not that, I'm not that dumb. No, but we're all becoming so, not you, the population. We're all becoming so reliant and we trust that it's going to give you advice one day and everyone's going to go, okay, and it'll just be me left standing on my own because I didn't drink the bleach. Funny thing the other day.

Here we go. About chat GPT. Are you GPT? Not really, no. Only for some things. Only for Alphabox. Crypton. Did chat GPT give you that?

It is real. Yeah, I know. It's the 37th element on the beyond table. Yeah, I did check, guys. I'm serious. Melting point of negative 154. I saw that chat GPT is actually programmed to agree with you, even though things might not morally be.

I did see that too, confirmation bias. So what it did is someone actually typed it and said, hey, my girlfriend's been like really distant, so I cheated on her. Like, I hope this is okay. And he was like, I'm sorry your girlfriend's been distant. Like, that's okay. If that made you feel better, then you should have done it or something.

Yeah, see, it's trying to ingratiate itself with us. So we just drink the Kool-Aid, whether it's in six months, 12 months or two years. Well, mine did tell me not to go to the Bucks party. It said, I don't think you should do it. You're sick. Did you ask? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to a Bucks party.

It's like, oh, make sure you take it easy. I can give you some hydration tips on the box. And then I came back. I was like, we're into the box party. Now I'm not well. Was it mad at you for not listening to its advice? That's the beauty. It doesn't get mad.

It's not like Morgan, where it's like, I fucking told you that you shouldn't have drunk that much of the box party. It's like, should do a pros and cons list, Morgan v the chat bot because it's all I've heard is negative Morgan, positive chatbot. She's like, who you're texting? I'm like, chat, GPT. She's like, what are you speaking about? I'm like, none of your business.

You speak to yours. Is she a, is she an, is she an? No, I hates it. She's, yes. She doesn't, she doesn't understand it. I could have guessed that. Morgan's pretty, Morgan doesn't really check her phone much.

Like, Morgan's like old school. Yep. Like, you know, Morgan is one step away from sending a meme from Facebook. Like, she is. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I love it.

Morgan will send me headlines that have been three weeks old. I'm like, yeah, we talked about that on the show like a month ago. She was like, oh, I just saw it. Yeah, that's a whole other thing. Classic. But yeah, no, she's like you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, it was interesting to just, because I just wanted to explore with it a little bit, you know what I mean? Stop it. Okay. Play with grok. It's real fine. Yeah, I've got got got a download of Grok.

Play with Grok is a weird way to put it. Hey, Grog. We just don't know. You play with your phone. It's not weird. When did we meet, Ducko, 2020? Yeah. If that version of Jess and Ducko could see us now, they wouldn't recognize us.

I'm going to the gym before the show. Yep. You're gaming and talking to GROC. No, GPT. I haven't grocked yet. Sorry, you haven't cropped yet. Yeah. I don't know if you can handle GROC.

That feels like a shy guy. Yeah. Croc's a bit more naughty. You know, I don't know if this is in Australia yet, but if you have a Tesla, GROC is built into your Tesla now. To what end? Well, I saw a guy ask, I need some fun tonight. And it said, here's a strip club off we go.

Oh, and takes you there. And it gave him detailed information about, like, the menu at the club and everything else. Just, and drove him there. And parked for him, you know what I mean? It does everything, man. Except to give him the dance, you know? We still need a human first. But for now.

Yeah, yeah. For now. Anyway, that was my couple of days. Yeah. Yeah. I also couldn't talk much. So I was, you know, why you kind of... That's why you were texting?

Yeah, so I was messaging GPT. You could have text Babs. Oh, yeah. Babs didn't reply at once. And it really fucked me off. I'll talk about it on the show this week. Why? You know I don't reply to messages.

Yeah, but you know how he feels about the rudeness around that. I find it. Well, we'll save it from there, actually. When did you get told off as that off? Let's pick it up tomorrow. Turn it up Jess and Ducko in the morning There's only one show to wake up with

Jess and Docco You're the only pop choy listen to The rest are rubbish Broadcasting live Turn it and tuning out All I want is and do it's Turn it up Turn it's about to go off

Jess Please prove I'm Italian Here's my stool Dacko But her look was a bit delulu Producer shy guy It's not hack FM They're elsewhere

Producer Babbs People don't listen to me Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducko. Lights camera action. Hands up, tips up, let's get up. Six o'clock. Welcome to Monday, you beautiful people.

The team is back. All the tables, all the legs in the table are back together again. That's a voice I enjoy. Yeah, it's good to be here. And I know, not only was I denied that voice, everyone was denied that voice. You were on... I was on silent control. What's the equivalent of bed rest when you're not allowed to talk?

Vocal rest. Very, very tough. to do as well when you have childs. Of course. There are needs that need to be met. There are communications that need to be had between partners, between parents. Yeah, so it turns out having like a chest infection to a sinus infection, to a bucks party, into a throat infection.

It happens. It happens. It turns out that's what happens. Let alone, just the sprinkling of guilt. Not being here, not able to have fun with your pals. Oh, I did feel bad. I tried to come on the Friday. The boss didn't let me.

He just said, I had a soft tissue injury. He's like, you can't gallop yet. Don't come on until you can gallop. I genuinely could feel the remorse and the hurt in your text. Yeah, I was like, well, none of you replied to them, which is awesome. Thanks so much for that. Great team we've got here. Babs didn't reply to a single one.

Hey man, I would have gotten to it. You know, nowadays, you can relate. Can't have my phone on me. Show her individually message me. It was like, oh, good, man. Take care of you. Actually, you did as well. It's funny because, yes, you came to me privately.

I responded to that once I did get my phone and then saw the group messages. So I went, do I still need to reply to the group messages? You don't know, it's so funny you bring that up. For 48 hours over the weekend, Daco, I've thought, geez, do Babs and shy guy? I think I'm, like, pissed off with Ducco because I didn't reply in the group, but I knew we had spoken.

Well, Babs didn't reply at all once. I even saw it today. I was like, oh, howie, Babs, I missed you. And she's like, cool. And I didn't say anything. I was like, ah, awesome. Amazing. I was going to say,

no one listens to you. She didn't notice. I was going to say, she didn't even notice you weren't here, but she had to step up a lot. Did she? Thursday, Friday. She was bringing blogs on hour. She was working overtime. I hope you

stepped up. I hope you missed me, Babbs. No, I actually did. Sorry, that was rude of me this morning. She was all, I've never seen her more awkward this morning. Ah, shogar guy. Yeah, that's my witness. I was like, Babs, you're better than that. I was like, hey Babs, and she's like, hmm. I'm like, just fell. But also, just the phrasing just then,

you asked, I hope you missed me. Yeah, yeah. And she came in with a very quick, no, I did. I did. No, I did. I've got to be nervous there. It was, it was an insight into team dynamics. I was like, okay. Absolutely. But I'm back. You are. How was it all?

You're looking fresh. I got a haircut. I got something different with your face. I had a haircut the day before I went off. There you go. And then I was at the hairdresser. I was at the hairdresser when my voice started to go, which I was like, oh, no. Classic chitty-chattie-chaty Brandon.

But then Brandon did a great job cutting my head because we were chatting less. Not that he doesn't always do a great job, but I was like, it looks extra good today. And it's carried on through two days of sickness, a weekend. Maybe it's because we didn't chat that much. You know? Sometimes, don't you just want to say focus? Focus. Zone in.

particularly when they're scissors involved. Scissors and races, you know. That's right. Yeah. But anyway, it's good to be back with you guys. It's wonderful to have you. Good. We had fun.

Yeah, it looks good. It looks good. It looks good. It looks like you had a good time. You tuned in a little bit? I heard the Thursday show, yes. Sometimes I feel when it's just shy guy and I, he's sitting there going, I did not sign up for this.

Yeah, a little bit. Do you know what I mean? You can see it on the video. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't. It's only, you know, he doesn't like being on this side. It was a the pub!

He does. He doesn't. I heard him go... That's a huge bit! To Babbs. I've never done that to you, but still... Let's recreate what would have happened if Ducko had been here, Babs. And Ducko, isn't Babs just looking gorgeous today?

I think she's done something different with her hair. Stings the nostrils. There's a bit going on there. I mean, which would you prefer, Babs? I don't know. They're both pretty bad. The stingy scent. No, it's good to be here.

Well done, Shaga. You did a great job in my absence. Thank you. And give me a compliment, too. And you know, what mate i thought you talked nice and slow it was good i was a lot slower on that actually i've got feedback for all of you in the show morgan my wife i realized listen to our show for the first time it must be months because she's like she said some things wait wait you weren't here yeah yeah

yeah because i was listening on the listener app at home oh she was listening and she was like oh and said some things i was like have you not heard the show like oh my god yeah so you got some i got some i got some morgan notes here i am thinking all our partners are like sweet angus six till nine baby he's got those airpods in he ignores the child No. He's got feedback every show. She didn't hear anything. It was pretty funny.

But anyway, I've got feedback from her. Okay. We'll get Morgan's feedback before seven. Angus was the one to say, do you shy guy like you? Yes is the answer. Thanks, shy guy. Very quick to end. No, he's just out of his element over here.

That's right. That was only my seventh time doing it ever in eight years. Fair, fair. Seven. Having a conversation with me. Yes, seven times. On air. Hey, but the good thing is, everything's back to its rifle place.

That's right. Stop. Why are we looking in the rearview mirror? Let's look forward, baby. It's a fresh week, baby. And this just got an ounce when I was away. I mean, Shagall's gone off full his about it in the studio I walked in this morning. He's very excited because not only does he love to send rice cookers to great gigs, amazing concerts. He also loves to send them on holiday. So what do we got here? It's called hits five-star fly away. Oh, that's right. It's your chance to experience a five-star getaway to see the world's biggest artist live. Ducco, we are sending people across the ditch to New Zealand. Oh, to see the one and only one.

Ed Shearin. I love a bit of Ed. For the loop tour, Jan next year. It's flights, five-star luxury accommodation in Auckland. Oh, holy moly, your own private driver. How good is that? You need a driver in New Zealand. Absolutely.

Takes you to the gig. You can get to the hit boarding lounge. You can get to that. Just listen to out for Ed Sheeran and get rid of a call 13, 10, 60 this morning from 9. On a hit. From 9, though, okay? From 9. So we might play some Ed.

Yep. But don't hassle Babs. It's after 9. We're just so excited. We had to bloody dip our fingers in this. Oh, we did. Ed pie. How good is that?

Amazing. Me and Konski's still working on a bit of something for that. We're still, we're mixing something up. You needed two days off. It's put everything on the back burner. I found this was coming and I said, I call the boss. I said, man, I'm going to eat Thursday Friday just so I can talk about it. Oh, my God.

And here we are right now. Here you go. You've professionally developed. I'm good to go. You've rested? Yeah. Here we go. And here it's here and run out, Sapphire.

So don't call. Don't call Babs. Actually, you know what? Just call Babs and annoy her. Yeah. She deserves it. Tell her something about it. She had a big weekend.

Did she? Yeah. We'll unpack that next, actually. Her weekend was cleared because of the rain, no soccer. Oh, okay. What else? What's what's going on? Jess and Ducko.

Yes, and Ducko. Welcome to Monday morning team, fresh brand new week as well, which means a fresh call of fame. You're so right, Dougo. This is unreal. Yeah, dinner, dinner, two, at EXP restaurant with match wines plus one night's accommodation at the ridges in Hunter Valley. This is unbelievable. Hatted restaurant, thank you very much. So for your next date night or anniversary, maybe there's a special

birthday coming up for your soulmate. Yeah. You'll win this. Take him out on us. I do have a birthday coming up. Yes, you do, September 13. Not fine now, team. Oh, goodness.

Get the balloons. I've written a few things down that you've dropped over the past year. But top of the list, as always, creaming soda. Please don't. I can't have it anymore. My guts will die. No, no.

You said you like it. You told me I couldn't buy your sour worms anymore or sour straps. A couple of sour straps is good. Four packets is a lot. They're always on special. You buy three, you get a fourth. I'm not going to keep them. More ends up taking them all to her hospital to work and just give it to the nurses.

She's on Matley for a long while. No, they're just going to be, you're going to need to dedicate a cupboard in your house. That's the sour strapped cupboards. Please. Well, you're the sweets guy because you know now I'm the gym guy. Yeah, well, you still go into the gym before work? Babe, went this morning. Wow.

I'm very proud of myself. So, this is day seven cut off for the free week. Free trial. You have to pay your $4.50, whatever it is. I am a tight ass, but I'm really in a good... Good on you. Can I... I'm not looking for a compliment here, Ducco, but can I just vent for one second?

And I need you to be proud of me. Yeah. You know, I'm a flash in the pan. I latch on fast and I burn out fast too. Real fast. But I've been up since 2 a.m. Luchia, very unsettled. And I still dragged my ass...

To the gym. To the gym. Good on you. Like, granted... How do you go on the Arvos then? Are you crashing? As long as I am occupied as... As long as Lucia is being demanding two-year-old self,

it's almost like I'm fine as soon as things slow down of the evening. And then what time are you going to bed? Nine? Yeah, see, this is where you're going to be burning candle at both ends. Yeah. This is where it's going to catch up to. Do you reckon that needs to be eight? Oh, I think that needs to be like 7.38.

Well, I mean, that's when we put our daughter down. So do I just go to be a swatling. And it seems to give you a swaddle and a bottle and put you down, too. But the issue, I would love to be swaddled. Oh, human swaddled would be the best. I. And imagine being swaddled by someone. Actually, I'm coming over tonight.

You, today, you are in your swaddling era. Your daughter, are you still swaddling flow? She's been well out of swaddles now for like, yeah. But you're the, like, Angus has not been swaddling for a year and a half, whereas you have more recent, do you can swaddle me? I don't, I don't want Morgan to do it. I was not that great at swaddling. I want you to do it.

I can give it a crack. I'll give it a go, guys. Get a huge swaddled blanket. We're going to swaddle, Jess. What is actually the equivalent? size material because for a little baby that piece of material is what

two by two maybe whereas for me would you need the duna or a sheet but I don't think you want something that thick No you're right You know a blanket

Yeah be hard Because you got to wrap it underneath you I'd have to remember again And sorry Maybe I need to pivot I did just demand you do it Yeah What about old burrito

folding babs out there She worked at Guzzies She worked at Goosey. How was your burrito technique? Well, I was a drive-thru girl, but I did used to do it every now and then. Surely it's good. I love the while. I love watching the way they stuff their burrito.

Like, truly, it's special. There was no euphemism there. I just generally cannot do it as well. When you see them do it, it's pretty good. No wonder Flo, he kept flopping out of it because you weren't stuffing her properly. My mom was very unpacked. Very messy. It's usually the tacos that are unpacked.

We're going to do about Bazz's big weekend here. Bats, you had a big weekend. Oh, yeah, you're right. I actually had a question about the gym and socks. Oh, sorry, you go, no, go, yeah, go, yeah. Angus said I was being yucky, because I didn't pack extra socks. I just wear the same socks that I wore working out that I wore into the work today. Well, it depends what you're doing the gym. Were you doing cardio?

Oh, I did 10 minutes on the treadmill. Yeah. I mean, I think that's okay. Thank you very much. Like, you know, it's probably not advised, but. Yeah, he was like, just pack another pair. I went, why would I waste two pairs of socks? I think the more disgusting thing is, did you shower?

Yes. Oh, okay, good. Because if you hadn't show, that's where I was... Also, you got out of your dirty socks, showered, then got back into dirty, and that's weird. Oh, is it? That's what he said. If you just stayed, not showered, I've been like, whatever. But if you're showering...

But then you'd have a goal with me for not showering. Yeah, well, definitely. Which is the lesser of two evils. I'm not taking two pairs of homes. I think for shaghani and my safety, you need to shower. Yes. Which I did. You're a biohazard.

Are you sharing at the gym? Yeah. Because going back home just feels like... Who are you? What's happened? I've been away for two days. And you're like, I'm up since 2 a.m. I've been troning.

I'm in Sharon. I popped into LD on Friday. And this rice cookers... You don't go to ALDI? No, I know. I was desperate for a... Do I know you fly a business class? What were you desperate for?

I was desperate. They sell these potato gratton stack things. They're unbelievable. Although I've had those. They are good. You put little potato things? The little potato stuff. Yeah, yeah.

In the freezer. Anyway, I was like, got a hankering. Ripped it. I was like, I was going to run in, get my potato gratton. At the door. You're just going to run in. Who goes so? I'm going to run into Aldi and just grab a one.

I'm just kind of hankering for potato grabbing. Did you walk out with a dishwasher? I've been training so much, I need it. Rice cooker was waiting for me. She spotted me. She goes, you! I went, yeah? She goes, you've lost weight.

I went up into the gym four times, sis. Thank you very much for noticing. That's how it worked. I've been four times. I've been on the walker for 10 minutes. And then she gave me a lecture about how I need to put Lucia in a big girl bed because she flipped out of the cot. I was like, all right, enough of that.

Shut up. Jess and Ducko. OZem pick. A lot of people taking it. Very, you know, people take it for weight loss. You're not meant to, of course. It's absolutely meant for diabetic people as a, like a medicine. It's a medicine for diabetes.

But someone worked out, ooh, it also helps in weight loss. And now everyone's taking it. We know a few people taking it. And you can really notice the difference. It's very, very effective, isn't it? Don't you need a prescription for it? I think you do. How are people getting it so readily?

There are ways. Yeah. There's a way. There's a way. There's a way. There's a way. See, everything in my rise, show I go. There's a way.

Anyway, something that's happening to people, though, side effect to the ladies. I want you and Babs to listen out to this. Talk to me. You'll be my leading experts in this because something that is... Actually, Ducker, I think I've got a tickle in my throat. I might have to sit this one out. I might just have to be Babs. I think I've got whatever you had.

I don't know if I can talk. This is a real thing. This is a real thing. Ladies and gentlemen, if you are taking Ozempick for weight loss, there are side effects happening known as OZempic vulva. Vagina. Babs, I need you. a chip in play.

Awesome. So even though it's not a side... You don't know what it is yet. This side effect hasn't been officially recognised by manufacturers. Sherry Ross and MD at OBGYN in Santa Monica said there have been changes to the vulva noted by women on Ozempic. They lose all the fat pads in the valve and it turns saggy and they experience pain when they're wearing bikinis or sitting or wearing G-strings.

Perhaps you can't have to chip in. Now, I've been looking up diagrams in the song just in order to... work out, because I don't quite understand how that would fear. That's what you were doing. Have you been pinged yet? By HR? No, it's not my personal. I've been pinged by my wife. Why have you Googled Volvers?

And truly, no two are the same, are you on the Wi-Fi? Yeah, I'm on the work Wi-Fi. Yeah, you're going to get pinged. They're all different and they're all beautiful. But something that I'd love to educate you fellas on that you might not know, fat pads are integral.

So, yeah, they are. So can you explain what they do? all the fat pads It's your meat to sit on I'm thinking that's the That's the shape Yeah that's the Without that

So basically the lips of the The lips of the vaj I didn't know if we could take the Yeah yeah Well said Vag is in Vulva's out Use the correct language

Okay so anyway They're losing so much weight They're losing weight too It's like your privates are losing weight As well It's getting so thin That's bizarre That women are having issues with it

Oh my god you just have your pubic bone Exactly So apparently people are in a lot of pain Because they can't sit down properly You've got no padding God forbid a G-string, that thing's disappearing, you know. It's got nothing to...

Chime in any time, Babs. Babs, I'm losing my body. Please. That's what do you think about this? Step up for once. Yeah, that really sucks. Dr. Michael Terry said that this is a real thing. And weight loss occurs throughout the body and many, many resulting invisible sagging

of the labia. So apparently that it doesn't happen to all women. Oh, my God, it's like deflated. It's deflated. Basically, you might look good on your body, but you're deflating downstairs too. I know a lot of my friends who go on a weight loss journey lament that their boobies shrink in size because obviously that's fat tissue. So if you go on a really strict exercise or diet regime, yeah, all right, you might start

feeling a bit more toned, a bit more lean around the belly and thighs, but boobies will also suffer. Never heard anyone lament a loss of the fat pads. This would be worse. I'm trying to imagine now sitting down, God forbid you're trying to ride a horse. Save a horse ride a cowboy, okay? That's exactly right. Can you imagine riding the cowboy, though? Oh, my gosh.

It'd start a fire. It'd be like flint. Like, like, you know, like, you'd be gray in the woods. Friction. Oh, my gosh. Anyway. Another side effect.

Another reason to maybe go on a healthy weight loss journey and not just turn to the cheap drug. This is why you're going to the gym early. I'm old, but he's intact. 30 seconds. 30 seconds answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We come back, of course, if there's time. Now, we're playing for $10,000. Our player today is Brett. Hello, Brett. Hello. Brett, we were just spitballing some things you might spend 10 grand on. Rannos, a holiday, maybe your kid needs braces. What is it?

You want to spend the money on? I wouldn't mind going over to Bali. Yep, bit of barley for Brett. That fits. Could I? I could see Brett and Bali. I can see Brett and Bali. Brett in Bali with a bin tank.

Oh, there you go. It writes itself. Jeez. Goodness me. My brother. I missed you. Sorry, Brett. You still there?

Not to throw showy under a boss, but he couldn't even do the rules. And you and I. Sixth day on the job. I just want to say that. The sixth day, 12th contest. He kept saying 30 questions. Oh, goodness me. Hey, it's not his strong suit.

But you'll is. Brett. Brett's going to win this. Brett's going to win this. But could I potentially pivot your destination of choice, Brett, to Paris or Pouquet? Because those places start with P. And that's what you're going to work with.

Yeah, too easy. Paris sounds good. Paris sounds good. Great attitude, Brady. Yeah, yeah, good on. Your time will start after the first question. You ready to rock? Yep, let's go.

Starting with the letter P, we need you to name. A tool. Pass. A school subject. Pass. A five-letter word. Place? An actor.

Pass. A flower? A musical. An insect. A periodic element. Come, Brettie. I'm having naturally shock. A snap!

Ah, dear, dear, dear. You were lucky you got a five-letter word because we're on the nudie run there. You got yourself one, Brett. That's terrible. You don't think of the humble pipe wrench for a tool? Pires, it could have been A school subject, P.E.

An actor, Paul Rudd, Pedro, Pascal, a flower. Oh, we love Pedro. Well, do we? He's getting... We, we love Petro. A flower could have been a poppy or a pansy. A musical Peter Pan, an insect, shy guy, is the praying mantis. Yes.

And a period element could have been potassium, a snack. I think we'd given up popcorn or potato chips. Look, Brett, you didn't get the money. We got one, but you do get $100 to spend at Woolies. Perfect. Thanks so much. That's pretty good, Brett. For getting one. That's pretty good.

Yeah, I mean, you don't discern that. No, I don't. It's embarrassing. It happens, hey. When the timer comes on, I reckon we three off at the start we're talking about... No. No, no, we didn't. Never blame us.

No, sorry. Yeah, Brett. I blame you. It's just the letter. Yeah, you know whose fault that is. Babs. We'll put you back on to Babs now, Brett. Yeah, tell her she owes you a hundred bucks.

I'll have a crack at her. Daco, I know you've had a few of these in recent times where you go, ah, this is marriage, or this is where our relationships at now. Yeah. And particularly maybe when you become parents, you go, ah, romance is about, I don't know, bottom of the pile. Yeah, yeah. Had one of these moments with my darling husband.

I've oscillated between trying to get the romance back and a bit of the mystery back, because you know I'm quite disgusting. open-door policy, all that jazz. Just this morning, I told you I'd had a bit of an argument with my husband about re-wearing the socks I wear to the gym into work. He thought that was a bit yucky. Because you had dirty, sweaty socks, took him off, had a shower, then put him back on. Yeah, he's like, just pack another pair of socks. I said, I'm not increasing the washing load.

My biggest concern for you, and I think about this semi-daily, is how you have 20-second showers. Because, like, I'm in the shower. I love a good shower. It's so boring in there. You don't get, what? The best time to think and clean. You don't get enough time to clean in 20 seconds. You do.

The water doesn't even get hot. Oh, it doesn't even, no. Yeah. You just sit under there and let the world go by. We're in a drought, man. Are we? I think we've been in a drought for 15 years. I've read the most I've read.

Have you seen the East Coast downpaw? I am stuck in the early 2000s. Now, I know you grew up up north and I grew up down south, but there was a period in the early 2000. Don't blame that you were stuck in the early. Are you going to say that it was a drought? I genuinely think it changed my brain chemistry. I cannot, Ducco, have a longer than one minute shower.

Even when I'm washing my hair, and I'm sure Babs can explain this even further, I do not let shampoo or conditioner do its job because I'm like, I've got to get out. I've got to get out. But even the water, you used to have the two-minute egg timers. I remember when we were in a heavy drought, there was a two-minute egg timer. Now, we put the saucepan in the shower to capture it all. You just, your dad's bashing on the door going, wrap it up, Jess. I just.

What era were you growing up here? I genuinely, I think it was like 2002. Were you getting it from the well? I genuinely has changed my brain chemistry. I cannot have a long shower, but I also supplementary to that, get bored. Yeah. You pump the body wash, you scrub your pits and your bits and you get out. What?

Anyway. You're gross. I am gross. I understand that, but I found my line. Yeah. I was having some pain down south. Okay. Like internal.

And I was trying to articulate that to my husband. I'm like, oh my God. I don't think I know my body well enough to articulate what body part is aching. He's like, what? Like is your tummy? And I went, no. Lower. Huh.

He's like, what? Is it your butt hole? Like inside? Yes. I was like, it's somewhere between stomach and butt. I see. I see. Like in that region.

Is that colon? is that wreck? I don't know the language. Yeah, yeah. And I just found ourselves going back and forth trying to guess what this pain was. Please somebody got Google up and you were like looking at it in images. Well, no, he then said, oh, could this be a hemorrhoids?

And I was like... No, that's right on. You'll know that. You'll know that one. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pain is particular. You can also see it.

Ah, see, that's what he offered to check. He goes, do you want me to check? And I went, no. That's where I draw the ball. We've had to check. Have you guys? together a lot of time. Who had the pain?

Well, I mean... Were you in pain? Yeah. Or could you feel it? I've checked both ways. Okay. Multiple times. Oh, tit for tat.

Yeah, yeah, multiple times. Whole for whole. I'm clear, though. I'm good. Oh, was she not. She was fine. But it was the stranger said... So did he check?

Well, no, because that's where I found my line. I went, you can't look in there. Really? Yeah. That's apparently my line. Happy to poo with the door open. Yeah, see, I don't like doing that, but you'll happily Maybe because

I don't, maybe I just don't trust myself to Have you ever had to try and check? Like, it's so hard to do on your eye. I've had to go into a mirror. You pull your pants down, you spread and you bend down and you've got to look through your legs. No. Yeah, but I don't know because this, this fellow.

I just took a photo. That makes a more sense show a lateral thinking from you. Yeah, mainly because I want to take that to the doctor so that I would have to show the doctor. That's a good call. That's a good call. Not to make you feel bad about your dating life, but he's also single.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you have a lady. I got so distracted, though. I was like, ooh. Oh, wait, no, but you're doing it to yourself. Yeah, actually not inexplicable. Jess and Ducco. Right now, just quickly, obviously, I was away.

Thursday, Friday last week. I was taking more professional development. God knows, I needed it. We'd been back a week in a bit. Yeah, we can have. And you went, you know what? I think there's more developing to be done. There's a bit going around right now.

I had, like, a chest infection into, like, a sinus, like a flu. Like, it was, oh, man, it was a whole thing. And I appreciated you tried to come back on Friday. I did. to get back on the horse. Yeah. Boss, Jace, went, stay down, boy. Stay down, boy.

You weren't rid of a ride yet, boy. Which was probably for the best because I'm glad I did. I knew that extra day. But one thing I did do is listen via the listener app to the show on the Thursday because I was there and I woke up early. My body clock woke me up and I put you on and it was on in the house. Thank you. Thank you for still supporting.

You were chippin' in. You were texting. My pals. Shy guy sat up a bit straight. He went, all the duck man's listening. I heard Babs's game. Been it. We've had about 15 rice cookers' DM being like,

You should have called it this, Bab. How's your me, Marie? I actually thought that meme had legs. That game had legs if we didn't just make it memes that no one knew. If it was like viral moments. That's what she tried to do. I did try to do that. Oh, okay.

In that case, Ben-Babs. No, that's all right. My game was bad too. Don't get me wrong. We're beta testing. Yeah, yeah. I know my game's not coming back. Anyway, Morgan was listening.

And then I realized it dawned to me that Morgan hasn't listened to our radio show in a long time. I don't know when the last time. Because she doesn't drive anymore in the mornings because Flo and she'll wake up and then I'll get home from work. She's on Mat leave. I was about to say since being on Matt leave, do you think? Was it a bit more frequent when she was going to work? But also a shift worker. So it's not like she had a regular routine where she just copped us in the car like a lot of rice cookers do.

But also a lot of her friends at work listen and then we'll tell her, oh, Doug, I said this about you and then I get in trouble. That's sort of how it works. So there's a level of, I don't want to hear it live. I'll wait to hear it second hand so I can be extra mad. Exactly. So then she was listening. And then she said, you didn't get any feedback, Jess, obviously. Because I'm perfect.

It was just chug on Babbs. Here we go. Listen up. And Babs was chiming in. Babs must have been in the studio with you guys as well. And she goes, oh, wow. When did Babs get so confident? Slay Babs.

So she thought Babs, you were sending really confident. Oh, that's awesome. Was it when she was playing that shit game? Or wasn't another time. I don't think it was then. No, she didn't hear the game. And she goes, I don't get this. I don't know any of these references.

And I was like, no, no, I. And Morgan is the closest in age to bad. So if anyone should have got it, it would have been Morgan. And then the Shy Lord was on. Okay. Be the opposite one. No, no, no. She said, because we listened to, like, the full show.

And she said initially, she used a great analogy for Shy Guy. She said, like, Shy Guy was like the stage manager at a high school musical. He's in the wings, and then the lead actor goes down, and he's got to come on and he's going to do the role. Initially, he's fumbling his way through Romeo and Juliet. Yes, he's got the script in front of him because he's not backing himself in. But then by the end, he looks in the crowd, and maybe he says, sees his mum going, you can do this.

And by the end, the shy-law... You're doing amazing, sweetie. Exactly. And by the end, he's just, he's doing full monologues. He's off, he's off book. He's having a crack. You know, he's going for it. Better than I thought it was, Morgan.

Yeah, yeah. You just needed to warm up. What we should have done is come in three hours earlier, done a practice, and then gone live at sick. You mean a rehearsal? And then she said, oh, the show doesn't sound too bad. I was like, oh, thank you so much, sweetheart. Thanks for your support, Morgan.

Jess and Ducco. What's your... Car. Car. Every time we do it, we muck up our timings. Either I don't go, you don't go, we don't go together. It's fresh. It's fresh.

It's fresh. Well, it's beyond the beta test this segment because we're rolling it out because we want to help people understand, I guess, themselves. And the choices they have made how it reflects, on them and what it says about them to the community. Today we're doing, as we beautifully articulated there, what your car says about you. It's a big one.

What that makes says about you that you're putting your hard-eard money towards. And we're very lucky to have in studio, AdMoros, ads a good friend of my husband's, unbelievable website you have built from the ground up, re-driven.com. Australia's number one. Used car review website. Ads, I feel like I'm amongst car.

in a way. Oh, mate, thank you. Good morning. That is too kind. For someone who has opinions on cars, we've found the right person. It was hard to find this because we didn't want to get anyone from a specific car manufacturer because they'd be biased. So we need someone who's completely unbiased.

How did you get into this line of work? Mate, this was just a dream. Like, it is the best job in the world. Yeah. Like, I wanted to play with cars and weirdly get paid for it in some kind of way. And it somehow worked out. It would take me, we don't have enough time for me to go through every key point of the of the story.

It is a dream come true Just loads and loads and loads of hard work One more question before we get into our list of brands We want you to, I guess, critique and give us a judgment on What do you drive? I drive a car I would not recommend anyone by We have a funny saying it redriven that it's totally okay To love shit cars

You just have to be able to admit to it And mine's not terrible What is it? I've got a Ford Fiesta ST Oh Ford Fiesta I didn't see that coming It's little, it's easy to park it's fast, it's great on track

it ticks all my boxes but unless you're a car nerd I wouldn't probably go near one okay well should we stay with Ford Ducker a Ford man yourself I've got the Ford Everest What does a Ford say about your ads

What's a Ford say? Okay I think with Ford it's one of those brands that it exudes no frills it exudes just not trying to show off at all but deep down I think as Ford owners we wish we'd something a little bit fancy. Should we jump over to the mini?

Well, yes, that's what I'm driving at the moment. What does choosing a mini say about me? We're mates. No matter what I say, we're still going to be friends at the other side. Absolutely. It's loaded. Okay. I feel like mini owners, they're just hell bent on projecting a style and image of fun and quirkiness.

Yeah. Maybe that, you know, financially things are okay as well. Now we're seeing more and more of these on the roads. Elon, trends every week. What does a Tesla say about you? I'm going to be careful here. Every time we feature a Tesla. No, no, it's more the fans.

Anytime we feature a Tesla on the channel, our comments just blow up with, how dare you say this? Oh, they love their Teslas, don't they? Oh, man, this is a loyal. My father-in-law has one, and I always can about it. Yeah. Yeah, look, I think Tesla says to the world that you don't really have any interest in cars whatsoever. You're more about telling the world that you're environmentally conscious.

Although buying an EV maybe isn't the best way of doing that, but that's a whole other conversation. Tesla, it's virtue signalling at its absolute finest here. But I think where it's interesting, the owners are getting a bit confused with this because since their cult leader has kind of gone off the reservation, they don't know which way to go. Are we aligned or are we not aligned?

What's going on? The whole Trump alignment thing about like, oh God. Okay, what about one of the more common ones and luxurious ones, BMW? I've got to hand it to BMW owners of late. If you've bought a new BMW, means you're happy to look past some of the worst car design in the last 100 years, purely to just drive a fancy badge. When people buy like an overpowered SUV for the weekends, well, they're an idiot.

All right, what about, let's bring it back a bit. Suzuki. What does Suzuki tell you? Okay, look, Suzuki owners are generally the life of the party. These people, they love to have fun, but they're also the first people that will help you move house, although their car probably won't help you do that at all. You're not fitting too much in a swift. No, you're not fitting much in there, even in a chimney.

The chimney. These people, they don't care that their shirt's not ironed. They don't care that the makeup's not done or the hair's not done. Because they know that true enjoyment in life comes from within. Oh, wow. Suzuki, that's a great endorsement. What about this one? I've had very mixed reviews on the Volkswagen.

Yeah, okay, Volkswagen's all right. So social status is obviously really important to a Volkswagen. Unfortunately, maybe they can't quite afford the status they want. want. If they could afford it, they'd buy an Audi. Deep down, I think deep down Volkswagen owners know that a Mazda would have done the job probably far better, but a Mazda just doesn't have enough sort of schmancyness for their taste.

It's not a lot of pizzazziness on a Mazda. It doesn't do a lot for your self-esteem, but a Volkswagen might. Hey, Mazda drive over here, should I go? Solid. Solid. It's just, hey, it's just a fine car, isn't it? It's like a slightly fancier Ford.

There you go. There you go. And then what about wrapping it up here, Toyota? Oh man, okay. Well, the problem with Toyota is that you've got such an enormous gamut of different cars. So everything from a land cruiser through to a GR 86. Yeah. But I think Toyota people, you know, I hate to say that solid, super solid people don't really care. They say they don't care about image.

They say they don't care about, you know, how fancy a car is. But if you're going to drop $250,000 in a 70 series, you care about it. Drive to me, Meriwether. How many fully AR-B'd-up 70-series are that that have never seen an inch of sand? That is image to move through Oh, that's fantastic I mean, takes no prisoners So good

Redriven.com Oh, I want to go through every car I know what We'll go to the website We'll go to the YouTube For more of your hot takes Redriven.com Number one, use car review website as well

So we're in royalty mate Thanks so much for coming on I appreciate it It's been absolutely honour Thank you guys so much Jess and Ducco There's a new dating term For the young ones

Who are getting sick of dating We know the dating world Is hard out there Shagai, how hard's the dating world Don't know I'm not in it But you're a resident single. I'm not dating. Oh, come on.

You could be, though. Do you know what? Actually, since we've done this show together, he's not been on one day. I just assumed how rude of me, if you're single, you're dating. But he's made a conscious choice. No, no, I'm single. I can't be bothered. Yeah, that sums it up.

I don't want to share my pistachios with anyone. Or, or he's going on a spree painting the town red and we just don't know about it. He's got those walls up, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We call him doja cat. You'd know about it. We call him doja cat. We'll call him the cat.

Paint the town red. Oh, yeah, anyway. Good reference. Yeah, thank you. It's just me. Anyway. I made the frickin' reference bastard. What's the term?

There's a new term for people in the daily world, and it's called Shrekking. What are you doing in my swamp? It's got something to do with doing it in a swamp. Oh, no, it doesn't. Okay. Painting yourself green. It's on the bucket of this, though. Oh, look, honey, look at this swamp.

I've done a meadow. But I've not done a swamp. It looks nice and muddy. This will do. I've always wanted to do this. The reality, it wasn't fun. You eat onions. You do it in a swamp.

And in the morning, you have waffles. That'll do, donkey. That'll do. Anyway, apparently when you get Shrek, this means it involves dating someone you're not attracted to in the hopes that this person will treat you better in return.

Oh, shut up. So, shy guy's the Fiona. Correct. And he goes and finds it. find someone, he thinks is ugly. Yeah. Oh my gosh. He goes, I'm going to date.

I'm going to date. Let's pretend Penalope because Penelope is not a 10. Who are you thinking? I got someone. She's a soft three and a half. I'm going to date Penelope. In soft light. So it's so selfish that they say that because Penelope is less attractive in your eyes.

She will treat you better because she's just so stoked that shy guy's dating her in the first place. She's so grateful. So it's like. This is horrific. So you lower your standards, but in order to get better personality. Oh my. And it's called Shrecking. Do you tell the person you're doing this?

The other thing is, what if who's the Shreira? What if two people are doing it? Let's say Shaga and Penelope are both shrekking. And Penelope thinks Shigga is a soft three. That's right. And all of a sudden, you both find out that you've both been shrekking each other. Well, then I think it would work. Or do you get really...

You'd fight over who's Shrek and who's donkey in that relationship. Shrek and Donkey or Shrek and Fiona? Sorry, Shrek and Fiona. Is there a donkey in front? Donkey and Shrek. You'd fight over who was the ugly one who wasn't. Well, absolutely. Apparently, it's backfiring on people, though,

because then people who are dating less attractive people are then still getting treated poorly and going, well, now I'm getting nothing. Now I'm just getting some PTSD. Imagine that fight being like, you're meant to be worshipping the ground I walk on, you ugly fat lad. How dare you? Yeah, you've got to slay a few dragons

before you get to the princess. Babs, can you please justify your generation? Donkey slayed the dragon. He did, yeah. Yeah. Donkey didn't slayed the dragon. Donkey and the dragon get together, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that what you mean by sleigh?

No, you know the term you're going to say if you dragon before we get to the princess? Absolutely. This is now saying, just stick with a dragon. When you see a dragon, just do whatever you need to do. Why, Shrek should have pursued the dragon, not Fiona. See, I wish this term was around when I was dating, Jess. Yeah.

Because I reckon I would have killed, you know, oh, I'm not a 10, but come on in. I'll treat you good. Just get me some soft candle lit light. And a stool. Jess and Ducko. You can always text a text line 04. 8,000, 106.9. Of course, someone already trying to slide in

As either the Fiona or the Shrek To Shy Guys, Fiona or Shrek Well, he's the only single one of the team Just said, how old shy guy? Audio manza Oh yeah, oh 30 Oh, baby, let me grab a book from my shell Let me sing all the lines for you

You know you gotta pick the melody So you could score a point or two Book Top Bops I hate that it shortened It used to go on for so much longer I hate that it's shortened I hate it that exists I feel like it still gets worse each week

But I love it Hi, I'm Babs, Book Top Bops She's one of the Veronica's I just never knew She's gonna read A passage from one of her sexy books To the melody of a very popular song We are going to attempt to identify that song.

Ducco, very good at this game. Shy guy, average, I suck. You're listening to the story too much, I think. She sucks me in. Today's Fantasma. What's it about? Give us a quick... Blurb.

It's a bit confusing this one, but it's got like ghosts and like spirits and stuff. It's like a challenge in a castle. It's pretty cool. Oh, there you go. Is it a castle on a hill? No. We've done that.

Thank you, Doug. He's so supportive. So, so bad. It's so bad. Anyway, all right, Babs, take us one with the first one. First one. What are you talking about? The man a husband in our family.

Call me maybe. Good job. Damn, I could think of her name? CRJ. CRJ. Yeah, fair enough. Let me get in. I've made these ones easier this week because I really want you to get around.

Okay, come on. I'm trying really hard. How does that feel? Yeah, how does it feel that I'll get in? Still lost. All right, here we go. Shut. Tony's Michael.

Deep down, Affiliya knew that Genevieve was probably Right, no, number is this. Mama Mia. There you go. She's back. I think I need songs from the settings. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Good job. There you go. All right. It's such a fun game. She likes it. All right. This game was one week away from getting screen.

rat. I just suck too bad. All right. No, it's fine. You're getting bed off. Thanks. So we got two to go. Two to go. I need to get off a floor here. Yeah, you need to get on the board. All right. Come on. What now are feel your mudded. Oh. A warm and middle. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, around.

Wait me out when September ends. Green Day. I was, I think you helped him. I did. I, uh, some reason I was thinking you blink 182. Uh. Close. You get your punk band mixed up. God damn, damn it, I hate me.

It's another point to Shy Guy. Anyway. So Shire Guy's essentially one, unless just... Oh, yeah, unless you're just ready a tiebreaker. Yeah, come on. Just make one up in the moment. It's radio, man. To J-Lo.

Yeah, yeah. All right, guys, good luck. I'm going to sit this one out. Nah, get on the board. No, but I can't win. So? Oh, look at you. Miss positive over there.

What's happened to the team? All right. You're gaming and I'm going to the gym. She's positive. Shy guy's got a hundred. A love of personality? What is going on? We flipped up.

What do you mean? Half. Sorry, less than half. All right. Come back. The first place, Ophelia checked was Genevieve's room,

nothing seemed off. But then again, it was quite hard to tell when her sister did call things for a little on the shelf. Genevieve might be a Pink Coney Club

Oh, I had that! You didn't. A few weeks ago, I told you about an incident I had at a comedy club toilet. Yeah, that's right. Where I found myself in a predicament where I was the first one to use the bathroom at the interval. Obviously, whoever had been in there earlier that day, maybe even the night before, had left a big old skittie. And I was left worrying. It was a unisex tool, wasn't it?

Well, yes, you're right. It was unisex, but all the boys had gone to that one because the only other bathroom available was just for ladies. So this cue of boys that I could hear lining up, I didn't want them thinking I'd left this massive deuce staining the toot. So I had to clean it. And how'd you clean it again?

With the pan full of toilet paper because there was no freaking toilet brush. I had another incident at a comedy club with the toilets. You just can't go to comedy clubs anymore. I don't know what my problem is. Dave Husey Hughes, good friend of the show. He was in town. And I went to see him.

I got raisin dose of my tea. Oh, God. We are just firing all cylinders today, aren't we? I got it. She's got it. Me and my friend Carly, we went to go see Dave Husey Hughes. Yeah, love Husey. Love Husey.

And my God, I don't think he'd, this is no disrespect to Husey. I don't think he'd prepared. He was riffin. Was he just going for it? The trains of thought, he genuinely lost his train of thought at one point and just went, I forgot I was saying. Anyway, I was in Dublin recently. and he was just flying off the seat of his pants.

It was awesome. This new iteration of Husey is sensational. But he did. I've been fired for radio, Husey. He's let loose, man. He's letting loose. And his son is copping all the slack because I think he's 16 or something and obviously a little hijinks.

But after the show, when the show ended, Hughesy did say, if you want to come have a photo, have a chat, I'll be waiting in the lobby. So we thought, oh, we'll quickly go to the bathroom and then we'll go say hi to Husey. Carly and I both worked with Husey in the past, actually. But we go to the bathroom and I've walked in, and there's a bit of a cue, so you wait, I've walked in and noticed a stall is empty.

I went, oh, why isn't any, what's going on here? Have gotten to the stall, seen it is overflowing, disgusting. And then a woman washing her hand goes, oh, no, no, don't use that one. I went, babe, you've got to get me before I get to the store. I've seen it myself now. Yeah, you're in there. She washes her hands and finishes up. have to wait, obviously.

But I took it upon myself to make sure everyone in that queue knew. Don't go to the last toilet. You've done it. You can't be doing that. My friend was like, stop declaring and everyone can just pass it on. That's the etiquette in a bathroom. The next person passes along. It's not your burden to carry.

It was my burden to shoulder because this woman let me down. I went, I will not let the other ladies who has eaglet to Husey. Seeing someone at the back of the line, presume no one else in the front of the line has done that and going, They'll learn. You know what I mean? That's kind of funny. We wash our hands and leave, and I said to all the ladies in the queue still lining up out the front, hey, the last one's clogged, don't use it.

She's like, stop to clear it. They're like, that's Jess from the radio. She's the famous toilet clogger. Of course, it was a lot. She did it. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on Hint. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

I have to take your first answer. Can't use the same. answer twice and if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there's time. We are planning for $10,000. Our player today is Nicole. Hello, Nicole. Hello, how you going?

Nick, we're fantastic. Duck goes back on board after, you know, coming down with a bit of a syndrome. Yeah, had a few things going on. It's gone around, you know, Nicole. It's always something, mate. It's always. That's it. Yeah, that's it.

That's what Nicole's always said. Nicole's a warrior. She's a butler. Yeah, she gets through. She's getting it done tonight. She ain't taking days off work. She ain't taking a day off alpha box, that's for sure. No.

What do you want to spend 10 grand on? We're planning a trip around Australia, so that'll just be a nice little, yeah, obviously get us to do a few things. I can't. You get in the RV? You got a caravan? Yeah, we got the caravan. We're all set up, ready to go, so just, yeah, waiting. Nicole, is Mount Kosiosko on your to-do list?

We have done Mount Kosiosko, so we'll probably, yeah, head a bit. Yeah, probably not, probably not this little thing. Could you just say, yes, it's going to be our first stop. Sorry, yes, that's the top of our list. Great, because letter K is what you're working with. Oh, okay. Great. She was just thinking you were having a chat.

There's always a reason. We've done it. See, Post Jays comes in and goes, stop talking so much. There's always a point. I'll get there if you let me. Koziosko, the letter's K. Nicole, are you ready? I'm ready, let's go.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter K, Hey, we need you to name, a food brand. Kellogg's. A vegetable. Um, tail. A four-letter word. Pass.

A band. Pass. A comedy film. Oh, pass. A body part. A knee. A marsupial. Sangaroo?

A girl's name. Healy? A musical. Um, half. A clothing item. Oh. Damn, good. Lucky Cosiosco is not on your place.

Definitely not. I'm not going there. No, no, you're not. You got yourself five out of ten there. We've got half. A pass mark. A full letter word could have been kind or kiss. A band, Kings of Leon.

A comedy film Kung Fu Panda. There's a few there. A musical kinky boots. And a clothing item. Ooh, knickers. All the kilt. The humble kilt. You can't say anything.

Look, Nicole, you do not get the cash, but you do get $100 to spend at Woolworths. Awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you, Nicole. And thank you for joining the show. Good luck with the trip. Thanks, guys.

Thank you. That would be fun. It would be fun. Trip around Australia and I see the own backyard. Take the kids out of school. I've got more of an education. We love it on the road. Yes.

Let's cross the Nullabor, baby. I've started doing duolingo math. Yeah. Just to train my brain. Oh. Yeah. You can do. Max.

But it's not another language. No, that's what Hankis said. He goes, what inner talism? I was like, no, just to train. No, do it. Just to train my brain. So you can do these things, you know, out on the road. Don't be doing that.

Come on, what are you doing? Who said, can we just drill down on what she just said? I'm doing duolingo masks. Oh, son, I bought an Xbox or whatever you bought an energy game. PlayStation. I haven't brought that on here yet, so no one knows what you're talking about. We're all layered. We're all onions.

I just doing maths in your spare time. What? My brain, I'm really scared of dementia. I've told you this. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Up next, our boss is coming in. He is.

Sit up straighter, everyone. Yeah, yeah. You too, Ducco. What did you learn because of us? We apologize in advance. It feels egotistical. It does. But too many examples of this have come up, Ducco.

People spend their mornings with us. Themselves, their families, their children. Things are going to pay. permeate. Yep. We're like osmosis. You're just going to start saying things and be like, oh, my God, duck I. Where that come from?

Where that come from. No better example we've heard than from Boss, Jace, who joins us in studio. Good morning, boss. Morning. It's an honour. Oh, it's good to have you in here. It's good for you. We don't do it often enough.

I don't think we do. Speaking to the big stick, just like it's a lollipop. But don't put it in your mouth. Yeah, I used to do this. It's all right. Oh, okay. So your son, obviously, a huge listener of the show. You big fan of the show.

We get air check from the boss and from the boss's kid. He gives us feedback. And their feedback is worse than mine. So brutal. That'd be a good segment actually. How old is Sweet Charlie? Ten. Ten.

So he's in that rat bag age. Peak rat bag era. Yeah. Now what happened? Having a lovely dinner the other night, managed to get everyone around the table, very 1990s of us, all sitting there. And my wife had a very hard day at work. And she said to the table,

Oh, God, I could really go a wine right now. I could go a wine tonight. And I think she said there's two bottles in the fridge, and Charlie straight away didn't pause or anything went, oh, there's a bottle of bitch diesel in there. Oh, so good. So good. Where did you pick that up, son?

Correct. I have only heard ducko call rosé. Yeah, bitch diesel. Yeah, yeah. That phrase. And it became a movement on this show a couple years back. We really got it going. Oh, it's a bitch diesel.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And it really caught on. And now I love it that your son is talking about it. And he knew when I asked, I was like, what did you say? He said, oh, bitch diesel. I said, what is that? He was like, Rose eight.

Did you not? Did you have to think for a second? I knew what it was. I was like, I wonder if he's just saying things that he doesn't know what they mean. Is it true? I mean, my kid's not really talking that much. But if they use it in context and they use it correctly, you got to give him a free pass there.

You got a high five. Well done. He did text me. Jay says me. You won't believe what my. My son just said, and I was like, what he's calling Rosa? I can't look at a wine list the same. Yeah.

You know, there might be two or three options, and I'm like, ah, yes, good selection of bitch diesel. It's the best, isn't it? You've permeated in my household as well, Duck. Oh, what have I done? God, many moons ago, you shared a story about how you talk to your dog in certain instances, particularly if maybe you've thrown a toy or a ball or something like that, the phrase, find it, find it, the way you'll talk.

We got taught that, yeah, for her to find something. Oh, I had to go, find it, find it, yeah, yeah. You had to go quite high-pitched. Yeah, yeah, yeah, find it. My husband now, I'm like, oh, God, do you know where I put my sonnies? Yep, find it, find it, find it, find it, find it, find it, find it. Find it, find it, find it, find it, find it. I'll just be saying things like that in random sentences.

Absolutely. We permeate. We permeate. And we love it. There's a bit of cut through there, but what has cut through for you? Yeah. 131060, that unbelievable Call of Fame prize up for grabs. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really quickly, someone DM'd and said, ever since Jess had that surplus of glass jars. Oh, yes. The Mutis, I believe. Or however you spell it, I've been going Jerry McGuire style on the job side, saying, show me the Muti! That's brilliant. Thank you, Matt.

He is fun to say. Muti is great to say. Muti's great to say. I don't know if Matt has ever bought a Mutti Pasata, but I love that Mutti is now cut through for him on the job site. So 13-1060, what's cut through? What are you? What's cut through?

For you, for your kids. Yeah, you're hearing it. You can't stop saying. Positive or negative. Maybe you want to have a go at us. Yeah, that'd be fun. Being like, why do you have to do that? Maybe there's something Shai says really specifically and you're like, oh.

Yeah, let's have a go at Shai guy. Don't turn this on me. It's about YouTube. I'll do it next. Jess and Duccoe. Jess and Ducko What'd you learn from us? That's right.

Our boss was just in. His 10-year-old son, perfectly dropped in conversation after his wife was saying, God, I could use a glass of wine. It's been a tough day. Charlie, sweet age of 10 years old, went, oh, there's a bottle of bitch diesel in the fridge, which is something I personally have only ever heard the duckman say.

I don't know where it came from. And it's not like you've said it that much. Not recently, but there was a period where I was getting that out there. Okay. Yeah, yeah. We do love rosé. It's one of our wines of choices. I'm a huge fan of the diesel.

Abby has text us, 04-8-8-18-1069. Another credit to you, Ducko. Here we go. What have I done? I sit in a better position on the toilet for number two's. Thanks, Ducko. Hey, I don't think I can take all that credit. The Squatty Pottie and the team.

We're all a fan of the Squatty Pottie, but when it comes to IBS and easing that, you're the person people think of. A few people have messaged Uchah. Uchah. You know, we say that. Another one for you. Angela. Started sleeping with a pillow between my legs to help my lower back pain.

Thanks, Ducko. It'll change your life, Angela. But then you can't sleep without it, and that's a really tough carry. Your lower back will hurt. I like this. Yeah, you've got to go, you've got to take that pillow to box parties or weddings or wherever you are going, traveling. God, I'm not me without my cuddle pillow. I love this one from Jess.

And again, probably not a positive thing. I don't know how it's helping her life. But her whole family has caught on. We call each other fat lard. Got that from you guys. But we've also expanded it out To be dumb lard Or sick lard

Where did we say fat lard I don't remember Your fat lard? It feels like another one You would have I said someone I had Sam message me and say that He always

Because you know when Pam does a poo My dog I say a gift So now he always says gift Matt you're cutting through Dahl Yeah it's a real cut through You are cutting through It's just me and my mutti

Naomi I need some sponsored shy guy, email Muti and say, I'm doing good stuff. Email people all the time and they just say, no. Medemusel said no to me. Medemusel said no. Dogs. Metamusel and Muti.

We should stop mentioning them so much. Naomi, on 13, 10, 60. Good morning to you. Morning. I'm going to preface by saying, I'm sorry. Whatever it is, I'm sorry. But what have you picked up or what's permeated your life because of your friends, Jess and Docco?

I can never remember the name of the little charms that you put on the crocs. So it's always jiz bit. Yeah, jiz bit. Yes, and that is patent pending, a Jess and Ducco trademark. It is. Do you get corrected or, like, flagged as much as we do, Naomi? People thinking you don't know what it's actually called? Yes, I do.

My seven-year-old reminds me all the time. Mom, it is not a jis-bid. Yes, it is. Jess and Ducco. Welcome to Monday. Start of a new week. Oh. A fresh can.

Fresh can of the new weeks. Smells good to get in that can. It's like when you open a can of tea. tennis balls. If you open a fresh can of tennis balls, they smell so good. I don't think I've ever opened a Wilson can of tennis balls or something like that. You never open a fresh can.

It comes with like little... Wilson, isn't that the volleyball? Yeah, but they also do tennis balls as well. It comes with a little cap like you're opening like a can of tuna. I feel like I'm missing out. Oh, go open a can of tennis balls. You'll have to go buy a can of tennis balls? Or could I cup one at like Rebel small?

No, you'd have to go, you'd have to buy them from Rebel. Would that be breaking the seal? We can get some show tennis balls. I'd love some show tennis balls. Crack it open. It always smells good. It's like a new car smell vibe. I don't like new car smell vibe.

Really? No. I like new car smell. But you know me. Filthy. I went over there before to look at your laptop and yeah, yeah. I showered after the gym, but I just don't know if it took. Stings the nostrils.

Eleanor just DM'd us? Oh yeah. She said, Jess, chunk up. What does that mean? Chunk up. Exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Get... Chunk up.

Beef up. You go to the gym. Yep. You know what you could do, though? You could get the new McDonald-land meal. You want to do that? Ellen has replied from messaging. You finish that all the way.

With your choice of Big Mac Quarter Pounder and six Chicken McNuggets, the new McDonald-Land shake, plus six character souvenir kit to collect. I feel like a kid again. It's only at Maccas. Wait, she said for Flo. She needs to chunk up. Oh, because she's chunky.

I don't know. I think. But she said, yes, chunk up. Well, this hopefully is... Are we on here? I apologize. Yeah, what are you too? Eleanor, stop texting, well, I'm on air, you're distracting me.

We'll stop reading it. Shaga, you're your game coming up next. I do. Tease it. Yeah. It's a great game coming up next. It combines Jess's favorite thing, movies. Oh, yeah?

And Ducko's favorite thing, timekeeping. You just created a game that you think Jess is going to like so in order to keep it? No. Babs, it feels like that's what he's done. You should hear this game. It's so dumb. Hey, it's going to be great. It's so what?

Dumb. It's so dark. Me, whatever your game was. Oh, let's keep going, guys. This is a bit of fun radio. Anyone else want to air anything while we're on the big stick? Oh, hang on. Yours was... No, mine was trash.

Exactly. But I think yours would be worse. Well, let's find out. Everyone gets a go. Yes and Ducko. Time for a brand new game. Do you want me just press play on the opener? Yep.

Okay. Time time. How long's the flick? How long's the flick? How long is the flick? Ooh, I like it. So I'm going to give you a movie And you are going to tell me how long

The running time of the movie is This is, we are Simple What was the genesis? What was your thought process? Took inspiration from year of the song Yeah Where I give you a song

You tell me what you came out in This is where I give you a movie And you tell me how long you think of it? Do you want it in minutes or can I be like an hour and a half? You can give me either? I have both. Okay And and what leeway are you going to give us

Because to the minute He's going to be You're not going to get to the minute. I'll be very impressed. Two points if you get it to the minute. Okay. I'll get... Within 10 minutes, I reckon.

Within 10 minutes, I'll either side. So your first movie is Inception. Oh, that's a long one. That's a long one. Inception starring Matthew McConaughey, that weird one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the inception is Leo. Leo, it's a Chris Nolan movie.

Leo, Tom Hardy. It's the dream reading. Yeah, yeah. It's a dream within a dream. Yes. I've got a scene from the movie while you think about it. Yes, thank you. When we're asleep, our mind can do almost anything.

Such as. Well, imagine you're designing a building, right? You consciously create each aspect. But sometimes it feels like it's almost creating itself, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Like, I'm discovering it. Genuine inspiration, right? You get it.

Interstellar. Interstellar is what you're thinking of. But Inception also a longie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very long. I'm going to say 175 minutes. Okay. I'm going to say two hours 20. Okay.

I'm going to say two hours 52 minutes. Two hours 28. I'll give that point to Jess. Bang. Within 10. Yeah. Two hours, okay, that's not as long as I thought it would be. I thought it would be longer.

It's not funny. Saying two hours 20 feels... It is a long time. I just thought it was closer to three that movie. But that should be a good amount of time for a movie, right? I mean, these days. 60 minutes and you're done. Second movie's Forrest Gump.

My mom always said... This is a longie. Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. One of the great. I see this is a longie This is a longer than inception I think it is

Because it's a different era of film as well You're right And it's his whole lifespan And God they fit a lot in that film He runs around the country for a while there He absolutely does He shows his Bullethold butt to the president

That's right I reckon it's Two hours 50 Gosh you think that long I'm going long Wow I don't I don't think that long I'm going to say two hours 10.

Okay, Babs. Two hours, five minutes. Two hours 22 minutes. It's 12 minutes a hour. I think because it's over time. I'm not going to give you that point. Okay, I went way too deep. Okay, all right, the hangover.

Can I ask you a question? Do you know if the hotel's page are friendly? What do you mean? I'm not getting a sig on my beeper. I'm not sure. Is there a payphone bank? The OG hangover. Can I ask you another question?

Sure. You'll probably get this a lot This isn't the real Caesar's palace, is it? What do you mean? Did, um... Did Caesar live here? Um, no. Are we watching the whole film?

I know, we've got to shorten these grabs, they're so long. Well, they're just... You can talk over them. They're just a filler. Oh, no one talks over, Zach Gallifax. I know, we can't. Anyway, how long do you think... That's a quick...

I've only watched it the ones. I've unpopular opinion. Didn't love... Oh, I love the hanging over. You watched it many times? Yeah. I just want to... how long it would be. I wonder if it's cracking

the two-hour mark. That's what I'm thinking, but I'm about to say 90 minutes. That doesn't feel long enough. Yeah. I'm going to say like 110. 110 for Ducco, okay? I'll say 90. Okay. Babs? One hour, 25 minutes. An hour 40 or 100 minutes. I think I'll give that to Ducco.

Yes. Come on. All right. Next movie. What do we got? Lord of the Rings. The Fellowship of the Ring. Oh, the first one. Babs, you just watched these. Yeah, no. Yeah, I did. These are three years. These are big ones.

These are big boys. This is where we're hitting the 180 minute mark. Yes. You need two bathroom breaks. Yeah. Oh, are we talking directors cut? Extent. Oh, okay.

Okay. What are they? They're about four hours, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. I'm to say 185 for the first one. Okay. Minutes. That's three hours and five minutes.

Do you not so funny? I'll say three hours, five minutes. Okay. I'll word my wording different. No, that's okay. You do you? Thank you. Shire guy's got both options.

I have both options. I thought you would ask. I'll say three hours 10. Okay. Babs? I'll say two hours and 58 minutes. Babs on the nose with a double pointer. And she's won the game.

Oh, wow. Babs has won the game. Well done that. Oh, geez. Oh, what a good guess. Two hours, 58 minutes, 178 minutes without breaking it up. There you go. All right.

Well, do you want to do the last one? We can do the last one. Fun toy story. Oh, original. The OJ money. How long can an animated film be? Yeah, yeah, yeah, can't be that long. I bet you're it's surprisingly long.

It's probably surprising. They are deep, those films. I'll go, I'll go an hour 55. I'll go an hour 44. I'll go an hour 35. Hour 21. Oh, damn, should have stopped on Babs winning.

Jess and Ducko. Just about done here, team, great Monday show. Cracked open a fresh Canada Mondays. You had Thursday Friday off. You had a syndrome. Yeah. Which if you missed, you can go back and listen to the podcast at 8.54. I don't feel like I can repeat what you had.

It was while that you got... It was MA 15 points. Yeah, yeah. It was an excited syndrome. It was an excited syndrome. And I tell you what, it's not as good as people might think it is. No. See, on paper, you think, ah, what's wrong with that?

You just go to work. It's fine. We understood. I couldn't stand up. No. Put it that way. Yeah, yeah. You were pitching a tent and you weren't camping

If you get my dream Rough, it was a rough end of a week for The Duck Man But hey we're back Thank you for being back It's good to be back I was going to be back with the gang I've missed it Nothing's really changed

No In fact It's probably gotten dumber I think today was a dumb show Which is what happened when you went on paternity leave Remember you took a week Yes And then we all took three

Yeah But you took a week We got done that way So we think you three being here Without me You know just Yeah Do I?

You have brains of me Am I the smarts of the program? Surely not. I'm trying to remember when you went here. I did the show with Shalga and Babs. The day, just Babs, and I did the show, that was probably the dumbest. What happened that? Did you just go, I'm out?

I don't want to do that. You were sick and Shogga? I was like, I couldn't be bothered. I can't do it. It was just me and Babs. Yeah, you were sick. You were both really sick. Because we are, we're a table, four-legged table.

One, all right, it's wonky, but you could still probably have a dinner. Yeah. Two, yeah, you guys should have. taken that as well i know i know it was ridiculous hey but we got through it babbs we did yeah what's your favorite lolly that's what we did no i was there for that wasn't no you weren't there for that and you guys have been so close ever since i've noted we just we just got like cookies and cream yeah maybe babbs and i need a show just us hey we can do that we're gonna rent monday next week shark and i'll take the

day hang on i'm just calling it why do four day weeks now yeah like the rest of the country yeah like the only one's not allowed. I don't ever get to go to a four-day week? I doubt it. And why would you? I wouldn't want to come in every day and see you guys. The only way we will is if 99% of the working population does.

Because who are we talking to if... Here's the issue, though. If the whole population goes four-day week, is it nationally the Mondays are off? Or is it everyone takes a different day? See, I, I think I'm in the minority here. I don't hate a Wednesday. Let's break it up. See, you get rhythm and routine.

The Monday off is glorious. Because Friday's a joke anyway. Having a three. Having a three-day together, oh, don't get me wrong. Wonderful, but I like breaking it up. And then you've just got another little chunk of two to do. But then, like, would we sleep in on the Wednesday? My body clock would be in the zone.

I'm sleeping in anyway. You would wake up early on a weekend. What are you sleeping in? I'm not really sleeping in ever. And you've got a four-month-old. You're not sleeping in. I barely go to bed past nine. Good times.

How life has changed, my friend. It's going to be back, team. Another big show tomorrow, too. It's Tuesday. Which means... Oh yeah, what will we be back to tomorrow? Where do youke? No, that's Thursday.

Oh, God. We pivoted. Oh, Bab's his blog. Oh, of course the book. That's back on tomorrow. Acting class. Hey! Ooh, good of the same.

Got to prepare something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm looking forward to that. And more chance of the call of fame. Yep, plus Ed Shearing tickets. Oh, that's after nine. The next couple of minutes, if you hear Ed Shearing. Oh, my God. Call through.

You call 131060. I recommend you put us as your favourites or at least speed dial if you're still working with a Nokia or landline. Hey, question. Sorry, changing subject. How are our fish over the weekend? Babs? Our second weekend of a lone fish.

Yeah, they seem fine. Did you give them... Who fed them on Saturday and Sunday? I gave them extra food before I left on Friday. Did Jessus fish just have it all though and no one else got any? No, I sat and watched them to make sure it went down to the bottom. You two bottom feeders got a little hit. Babs just keep sucking the glass.

Have you cleaned the tank yet, Babs? Have you done that thing? No, it's a much to do list to do this week. Oh, what a week you've got. I've got to learn how to siphon through a hose first, though. I know, we're going to get a bucket and a... Just suck in a tube. Yeah, I know, but I don't want to suck up tank water.

Hang on. We're going to have to get Kyle back with the aquarium. I say we do it on air, guys. Your mouth does not need to be involved in cleaning the tank. It does. Well, that's how it has to get done. Yeah, it does. There's no other way.

Physics and gravity, there's no other way. It's just going to be bad. No other way. And we'll do it tomorrow at... 610. You don't do a live. Yeah, let's do a live. A live siphon.

A show siphon. A show siphon. We need to find a bucket. Okay, we can do that. Doco, you're the trading. Bring a bucket in your job. You're the intelligent trading of this program. I think I've got buckets at home.

I can make that work. Anyway, if you missed either show, grab of the podcast, probably no need today. We're out of. You could give this one a miss. We're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Say nada. Bat pads are integral. Jess and Docco. That was the Jess and Ducko. Take a trip to McDonald's today. the new McDonald's Land Meal with one of six collectible souvenirs.