Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | No wonder people at me weirdly

Episode Date: November 10, 2025

We asked if you've been hacked? Ducko has a favour to ask the team and Jess has a run in with the youth!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new spicy Frank's red-hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi there, bab. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the poll. We live in the day yet. Podcast, fuck yeah. Here we go.

Party time. Just watching the TV. Oasis fever. Have they got more shows in Australia? Or are they done skiing? I don't know. They've done Sydney. I presume they're doing...

Oh, they've done Melbourne. They've done Melbourne already. They've done Melbourne already. Melbourne was the show member. Liam Gallagher tweeted about it because someone lit a flare. And he was not impressed. Melbourne and flares. Something about that.

What is it? Because they're all hooligans? Yeah. Football culture. Yeah. I don't know if they're going to Perth. Would they be trooping off to Adelaide? Let's check.

Are you Googling show guys? They've got no more upcoming shows. Just Sydney and Melbourne. Because I try to see where they would be flying out whether or not they'd be going to to Ricky Martin or not, which we talked about at the end of the podcast. You reckon the Gallagos might be at the VIP section of Ricky Martin? It doesn't say that they're there.

It also doesn't say that their flight is out. It also doesn't know what their flight is. Because you love to track a flight. They could be hanging out. You're a huge flight tracking guy. Well, I just want to see if they had some of us to be urgently, which they don't. Maybe they could be enjoying their time. So are they actually touring?

Or did they just do the UK and then pop over to Australia? Surely are they taking it around the globe? Well, the tour was called Live 25. So I can try out. They'd be doing Asia next. Yeah. Oh, if not New Zealand. Yeah, I don't know.

Did they say anything back? You were there. Yeah, I was there. They didn't say anything, no. Yeah, they did North America and Mexico, Seoul, Tokyo, then us. Oh, they've done Asia. They've just come from Asia.

And now they're off to South America. I wonder how much they're making from this tour. I wonder how much tickets were, you know. Good question. For the Oasis. They were really expensive. Yeah. They were really hard to get.

And people were paying like $350 for like no. Wow. Yeah. People love them. They do love them. They love them. Yeah, they do love them. It's, uh, yeah, what were you going to say?

Uh, 400 million pounds, about 800 million Australia. Is what they've earning from this tour. Estimated to make off this tour. And do they have any band to each other on the stage? Um, they came out with their hand, like, holding hands and like cheering, which is like a big thing. Of course, because they did hate each other. Yeah.

But they, it was funny because they stood on opposite sides of the stage and, um, Liam, who is the one that has the tambourine, and everything would, like, go off for Noel to sing his own songs, like, that he is predominantly featured on. Oh. So in the Oasis's back catalogue, are there songs where Noel is the only one singing? Yes. Oh, I don't know that. So Liam's like, that's not Liam. That's not, yeah.

Yeah. So, like, he would go off stage and then come back. It was really strange. And then, yeah, they were on opposite sides of the stage the whole time. I guess the whole thing about getting back together, you would think. think Liam would join in all those songs to really really show we're in cahoots again but no no maybe no'll was like now fuck you you weren't there to begin with because not is the main one isn't he um I would argue Noel's the one that plays guitar but Liam is the one that's like everyone

everyone knows yeah everyone knows because he's got like the attitude yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the hoodies yeah right did Noel write yes he writes the music and he's the one that plays guitar so Liam doesn't do that Liam just plays tambourine and sings and does drugs nice and then just like says really weird things. He does. He's the one who tweeted about the flag. And no one can understand. And he just goes, and here's Wonderwater.

He was the one who said, who is from Sydney? Yeah, he did. Everyone from Sydney was like, we're in Sydney. To be fair, he was really excluding those of us who had travelled. Yeah. We had from Newcastle did not cheer.

I was like, no, I'm not, actually. A bit random. Yeah, he was basically saying Sydney's way better in the shit hole they live. That's what he said. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was fun. I applaud you for being here, says Liam.

Yeah. Yeah, it looked fun. I was jealous. seeing the vibe of everyone there. And who is it? Someone put up a funny Instagram post being like, this is all dad's version of Taylor Swift. Yes.

Well, yeah, the people all around me was like middle age men. It's funny. Ricky is middle age moms. Yeah. Ricky is their version of Taylor Swift. Yeah. Oasis is for the dads. Yeah.

It's really just something for everyone. The dude next to me was like playing air drums the whole time. It was so funny. He was fully getting into it. How old do you reckon he was? Um, he was probably like 50. Fantastic.

Yeah. And then we were just like surrounded by like middle age women that you know, having a good go. Having a good time. Having a good go. Seeing people dance at concerts and stuff, if you actually look around, it's very funny. When it's not dance music.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, like the Shakira in front of us, she was shaking her hips. Yeah. You can't contain it sometimes. The good vibes of live music, it's got to get out somehow. Yeah, it's got to release. I don't know if it matches the music, but who cares?

Imagine Shagai at a concert or a festival. Like a rock concert. It'd be like a wooden board. Yeah. The only time I've seen Shai anyway, close to shaking his hips was the after party he allegedly said I'm going to leave.

Oh yeah. We thought, oh, he's going to go. Ended up staying out until 4 a.m. But he was on the periphery of the dance law. No, but you're on the periphery of the dance law. Just toe tapping, but no other movement from like the ankle up. Yeah, none.

So how you said I told a lot of conversation? There's a lot of people to catch up with. Yeah. Over the very late. It was the last one. So you did. Oh, my God. It was like you knew.

I was like, yeah. I'd make the most of this one. If I'd known, I'm going to do a break of dawn, guys. Maybe it'll be back, maybe. Oh, who knows, probably not. Doubtful. Very doubtful, yeah.

But yeah, I would like to see you dancing at a concert or something. It's a pretty uncow. Really? If we saw Yes, Boon, if we saw Yes Boone live, would you dance? I like the song. I don't like the guy, but. Who's your favorite artist? Artist?

Oh, that's a good question. Here we go. It'd be something lame. I don't really have a favorite arts. Drake? Like who? No, I do like Drake. I wouldn't see my face.

Comfort Bruno Mars I like a One Republic Ryan Tedder's good I've seen one Republic live Very good live Do you know what's a good song? Runaway You guys know that song?

I'll take your word for it. I said I'll take your word for He goes, I like one of Republic mean bads me and you're like Oh classic white guy Okay Fucking Taylor Swift Sabrina Carpins

Are Olivia Dean over here Sorry What's the other one you like Swiftie Dini Yeah it's not one As if that's not token Gen Z. Ryan Teta wrote Halo for Beyonce.

Ryan did a respect. Charlie Puth, he's great. Oh, you lost me shy. Charlie did that's some cool stuff on TicTon. Oh, you're no, babe. There's been a long day. You may as well... One of the most successful songs ever.

What's next? Five sauce? Yeah, God. Fuck, don't you come for five sauce. Youngblood is a banger. They can get in the bin. We've all got different tastes. Oh, shit.

I'm not everything going to be Bliss and ESSO, okay. I did it. He'll be a bit of bliss. top, baby. I had to record a takeover with five, so we were hosting for a week while Ash London was off six. Yeah, how long goes this? Ten. It was a couple years ago. Yeah, yeah. We had them come in and we're going to record

them for like two hours and record a bunch of stuff. They could not give it. It was so hard. Yeah, I bet. Because they're rock stars, man. Not at that stage. What were they saying? Yeah, I would have because they opened for One Direction in like 2012 because that's when I first saw them. So they were rock stars. Thank you, bad. And you know what? They behaved like it. They did not want to be there.

What did you have to get them to do? Like, hey, can you just say, Hey, there's five sauce. No, like do breaks. Like, do banter, do stuff. We gave him a week two hours a day, five days, six, eight hours or whatever it was. That's great. We ended up, it was pulling teeth. We just ended up playing the same stuff every night, but in different hours because they just gave us nothing.

They're also drunk and hung over them. How old are they? I don't know how old they are. Yeah. They'll be mid-20s now. Yeah. How many are there? Four.

I know five seconds of summer. I don't know much about five sauce. Were there? There was what? There was five. But did one leave? Did one leave? No, I'm pretty sure there's always been four, Del.

Cal and Michael and what's the other one? Ashton. You're thinking of, um, you're thinking of, um, you're thinking of one direction. No, there was the one of the wannabe Harry Styles one. No. Yeah, they're, yeah. No. No.

And everyone had the hots for the drummer and the lead singer. Yeah, but I'm the lead singer. That one. That's Ashton. Ashton went in. Ashton was good. Callin couldn't give a fuck. I liked Callum.

Who's the post player? The other one. Michael. Michael, he couldn't care either. Ashton went in. I liked Ashton. Yep. Because he wanted to be famous.

Yeah. And he got that you need to do. Oh my God. So how's this? In 2012, Louis from One Direction, tweeted the link to one of five sauces's songs, and that's what blew them up. Oh, that's fun.

Well, that's very kind. And then Louie went, damn, now they're big. Now they're big. And then One Direction broke up. Yeah. Because I remember being there. Five sauces are still together. Are they still together?

They are. They are. Are they still making music? Yeah, and they're doing their own solo stuff too. Oh, a couple of them are. Does it look at you know a lot about flyer sauce? I was a bit of a fan. You like it.

Yeah. Tables are turns out. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up for you. I'm not that easy to take. Yes.

Here we go. Allay, allay, allay. I'm got to explain. Ducko. Step into a. Uncle Ducco's sniff test Got him going insane Yeah, shy guy

Oh no, that's a Muppet It's my wrong franchise Yeah, probably I like toys, they're good This is Jess and Ducco Right on 6 o'clock Hey, welcome to a brand new week Ooh, crisp can

Crisp, nice and chilled I don't know if I've ever asked you This question, Ducco Oh, Coca-Cola, glass bottle Maca's spout Can. Firstly, I don't drink a lot of Coca-Cola. No, so if you're going to do it, it's a particular choice.

Glass bottles better than can always. Oh, see, disagree. Yeah, glass bottle always tastes nice. Any out of a glass bottle tastes better. Oh, I much prefer a can. I think it does change the experience. Yeah. I feel like the fear of someone smashing the glass bottle into my teeth

really impacts my enjoyment. Never. And that's why I'm saying, I'm due. I'm due for someone. Actually, we were doing Melbourne Cup, and I all had the mic up to my mouth. And that she, elbowed, elbow got excited shy of eye, and elbowed me in the face with the mic, and it hit my tooth.

That wasn't even when we said she'd won. She ended up winning. It was more just like, let's have it from Maddie's to want her to win. She played the crowd and elbowed him in the face. Imagine if it was a glass bottle of Coca-Cola. See, it happens. Wild elbows. Yeah.

Nearly took out my teeth. But I like glass. I do like the Maca Spout all. like whatever, that's always good. That syrup stuff's great. That would be my order of proceedings, I suppose. So today, I think we've got a nice icy cold can. Yeah.

Obviously, because I don't think you get the same satisfying. It's just a pop in the top. Just a pop, yeah, yeah. I think it's even twist nowadays. I don't think it's even a pop. It's not like a beer. You know, we've done a couple of times on the show that unconventionally sexy things. You didn't expect it to turn you on, but it does.

We didn't have a twist top the other day. I can't remember what the beverage was, but Angus went on the side of like... Cement block sort of thing. We were out and about. Might have been when we were in a little. And he just went, on the side.

Get you going. That's hot, man. That was just efficient. With a seatbelt, like the head of a seatbelt. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That is a skill. Yeah.

That is a skill. Anyway, how you doing for a new week? A new week, I'm good. You know, everything's ticking along in my world. Love that for you. Nice restful weekend. You know. A lot of family.

It was a lot. Sunshine. A lot of sunshine, not many friends or family. A lot of my own, like my daughter and my wife. That's family. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's family. That's sort of what I'm. Oh, I know when Chris and Kate are in time.

Don't you, worry. But no, we were good. We had a good weekend. Nothing to report. I went and saw you at a festival thing yesterday. That's right. Or Saturday, sorry. Saturday.

That was wonderful. Big day. Yes, how'd you go? Yeah, wonderful. Voice feels pretty good today. Oh, that's good. I was very proud of myself. I think I've been in media behind a mic for about 10 years.

I finally worked out. Let the microphone do the projecting. Well, you had a good PA system now, you see. I did have a good PA system. Sometimes that is all the difference. Sometimes Jessica gets a little shouty because Jessica can't hear herself. Yeah, yeah. Radio headphones make it down.

Yeah, yeah. So, no, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling strong. Good. Feeling fresh for a new big week. It's going to be a great week. It is. Shy Lord, you got your hat on today, which tells me you didn't do your

I haven't bought any new product. Which tells me you're either running late or yeah, you got no product. No, no, I was here first, actually. I was here a few minutes before Babs. Usually we roll in at the same time. Oh, good to put that one on the record. Yep. He wants it known.

Yeah, yeah, I'll see him for bans. I didn't say that. That's all right. We'll put the pieces together. I just haven't bought new products. I was going to say you've been rolling with the hat. Yeah, or no hat. But I got some rights.

Well, they're the two options. We can't really do anything else. Or a visor, I guess, is the other option. We had a team lunch on Friday. and we put a photo on the Justin Duffer Instagram and then I re-share that and I got some comments from Rice Cooker saying you knew to Hercock, bro.

Don't let the haters get you, man. No, that's why you do it. Take that hat off. Show us those locks. Here we go. Come on. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Yeah. It's getting a little Lego. It is getting a little Lego, man. You know, do you think it would look good on, Shagar? Maybe we send him to your barber. It's sort of what you get done long on top, short on the side.

Hey, he's listening to the show. Go see my boy. Go see Brandon. I think I want to make it long, though. Oh, okay. Hang on, as in full. I would have got to cut easily love it. Well, then you can't keep wearing a hat.

You just got to be in it. I need to do something with it with product and I'm just lacking product. When you say you want a pair products and you want to sponsor me. Oh, okay. To your 709, thank you. You want to sponsor me. Well, you do a post for them. Oh, he's a micro.

What is it? Micro influencer? What is it called when you've got? I think it's a micro influencer. People post for worse with less followers. The only thing micro about shy guy is the right to go. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Holy hell. Enough for me, Babs. The rumours are true. Oh, hey Babs, you had a big weekend. Sorry. No, no, but the cow is also had wasted. Was the crowd really excited when Wonderwall played? Yeah, they were very excited the whole time.

Bab scored last minute free tickets from the station. We didn't even know we had. I got family. From our allocation, that went to another station. That wasn't even out. I know it said our. ranting off the tickets. I can't fathom how there were any spades, to be honest.

But Babs, you know, obviously working so hot, not as hard as hard as shy a guy. Obviously, never. You got to enjoy it on Friday out of ten? I reckon it would have been like an eight or nine. Yeah. It looked like a good... Oh, what did you wear? Because you were nervous about what you wear.

You wanted to look like a lad. Well, not a lad, but I wore my sambas at a das, obviously. And then I wore like a jersey sort of top. Yeah, nice. Who starts with what shoes they were wearing? She started from the bottom. Sorry. Of course, now I know you were your sandwich.

What was on your body? You didn't mention, all I'm picturing now is a laddish overshirt, like a rugby shirt, no pants, and her sandments. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing. You're on a bucket hat. What underwear did you choose for Oasis? I don't remember. Just in case, you know, in case.

It's like when I went and saw Harry Stiles, Shade from top to top. Everything was clean to go. Just in case he called me out. Everything was ready to go. But was it a good live experience, Babs. It really was, it's fun. We're all about live experiences. Babs have an oasis.

The Ricky Martin winner, Shona. That's what's our Call of Fame last week. She's going tonight. Ricky's playing. Well, the good news doesn't stop there for this week. Exactly. The live experiences continue, Ducko. Short King, baby, Kendrick Lamar.

Kendrick Lamar plus accommodation. That's our Call of Fame this week. I'm going to that show at Kendrick. Are you? When is that? Is that in December? It's like a Wednesday night in December. Oh, gosh.

Okay. Well, it's going to be epic. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be great. When was the last time? He was in Australia. Oof. Long time. I don't know.

I remember. I've never seen him live. He was meant to come for splendor in the grass many moons ago. Oh, they got cancelled? Bailed. Uh-huh. Did he bail? No, no, maybe he was here.

But that must have been easily eight, nine years ago. So we're overdue for a bit of Kendrick. Kendrick and Tick, and he's a short king. He's a short king. He's the king of the short king. He's the king of the short kings. He's a guy. Do you think he'd ban anyone over six foot coming to his shows?

No one to all. that show. It's all sure it is. They're all put in the nosebleed. I'll wear my baggy jeans and my Sambas. No pants. No pants, obviously. I will ask you what underwear, so please pay attention when you put them on. I'll be bringing my jock strap for Kendrick. You know that much. You're not silly. I'm not an idiot. But we do have that. That's all week. Plus, we've got Alphax. Your chance of 10K happening at 7 and 8. Today we have booktop bops. I finally have a favour to ask of the team. Yeah, you've been sort of drip feeding us that there's a big ask coming. Yeah. The fact you're doing it on air makes me nervous.

Yeah, it should. Well, I mean, I'm nervous about what I've got to do, but you guys also need to say yes. So, anyway, up next. So we've got some new underwear taking the world by storm. We'll unpack it. Jess and ducco. It's about time. The designers, of course, at M&S have done something in the male underwear space.

Oh, my God, thank God. You've been overlooked for too long. For decades. Marks and Spencer, of course, the number one market leader in UK lingerie, thanks to their genius underwear solutions like ultra-comfortable fits. Sorry, are you sponsored by Eminus? Is this article? Is this article?

It really could be. This whole thing's an ad. Anyway, man's underwear hasn't had the same attention, okay? No. How much can you do for the gentleman down there? I wear the briefs. Shaga, you wear the like the little boy ones. No.

Also known as boy leg. Boy leg. I can see where there's a boy leg, red ones. It's a briefs, I think. Is that what they're called? Yeah, boxer briefs. Do you have, is their leg on the side? whatever they are.

Yeah, pretty, yeah, I wear those two. See, isn't it funny? How does you fit in that? Anyway. Hanks out. Yeah, yeah. Well, this could be... Isn't it funny?

That shape for women is called a boy leg. But do you not call it boy leg? No, we call it brief. Oh, see, I thought a brief was like an undie. Brief, the triangle one. Yeah. Boxer brief is what we wear. Really?

Yeah, see, I don't think you wear briefs, brother, because briefs are like... No, I don't wear those. Yeah, like jocks. Like a bodied smuggled. Yeah, I don't wear that. lying about this? No, I don't wear that at all. Yeah. See, I thought brief was undiesed. No, I don't wear that. Geez, have I got

oh, wow. Yeah. So what have I? This whole time, you're telling people you're in. God damn it. No wonder people look at me so weird. You've aged yourself. No wonder I've got no friends. No, box a brief. How are you secured a wife? See, I just wearing briefs. I don't know. She checked. She checked. She knows. She's like, he gets it wrong, but it's

fine. Boxer briefs is what I wear. Right, with the leg. Yeah, she know, yeah. The boy leg. The boy leg. I feel like only people like 45 plus wear the briefs. My dad loves a Rio. So I'm just coming out publicly and say to wear brief. I've lied and I'm embarrassed.

I've been embarrassed too. Oh, let. Just set the record straight now, though. Yeah, I don't. I wear boxer briefs. Shagha, you said 45 and up. I'd also argue maybe 11 down. Like, it's a little boy.

Yeah, I wouldn't. You wear your Spider-Ban ones when you're a kid. Yes. And then your testes kind of drop. And then you're like, oh, I need to wear some boxer briefs. However, going through your fertility journey, Duck. Yeah. Didn't you get advised, these guys strangle your balls?

Any undies. Any undies? You should wear boxes, no brief. Oh, those silky things that have no strangulation. Yeah. I did try and do it for a bit, and man, you just feel vulnerable. Yes. Like you feel, even for me, someone who doesn't show much, but I just felt vulnerable.

If you're doing that under a gene, you'd be going to jail. God, that'd be uncomfortable. You know what I mean? Yeah, it really was under jeans. You feel a bunchy and stuff. Yeah, so you wouldn't want denim rubbing up against you. I'm not up against a little member. I know.

Oh, God, jagged metal teeth. Gust a wind. Ugh, anyway. So anyway, so what? Sorry. So Ned's underwear has got a big hit now from an S. They've given, they've made us secret support boxer briefs for blokes who are after comfort support with the help of an internal pouch. They're giving us extra size.

Hang on a minute. So no longer do you have to stuff a piece of tip top white bread, which I feel it is a bit of a hack. Fold that one. Yes. Now it's in. built. Yeah. It's like a pump.

It's a bit of a rusty pump. Jeez, Babs, come down on the pump. Hold on. Babs, one more time. Just really getting it in there. She's underpaid for the job she has to do. Pump up your own days. You can go back in the tent now.

Off your pop. Her hand got tied. She's using the foot. She's off. See you, Babs. Good to have you. Saw Wonderwall once. Just keeps wearing jerseys and sambas.

Nothing else. No pants. Hey, you're in the tent. We have mics in the tent now. Yeah, we've upgraded. God, that tent's good. Thanks to our audio guy. And anyway, yeah, it gives them a subtle lift

enhancing a fit through clever, discreet design. How's this? Director of menswear, Mitch Hughes, who's also the driving force behind thigh guy summer. Shut up. Wait, is that a movement, like online, thigh guy? That sounds like someone trying to say shy guy with a list. Said they're helping men feel

They're most confident I want to order some of these shy guys Can you buy some Whoever gets Ducco for Secret Santa Oh yeah Thanks Babs BYU O Pump, brother Jess and Ducco

I'm pretty sure we are the show People come to For beauty Wellness Health All that sort of information Wouldn't you say Yeah

It's one of the big pillars Of our program What we do What we do I just found out I don't wear briefs I wear boxer briefs. You've been saying it for a long time, and I genuinely, I was like, I thought brief for underpants. Why is he admitting to that?

Because it feels very either little boy or geriatric old man. Just sent my wife a message being like, we've got to send a lot of people some cover-ups. We're just going to, we're going to reply back to a lot of her. I think we've got to put out a statement. We're going to put out a statement. I'm an idiot. You know, when radio shows usually put out a statement, it's because one of them stuffed up big time. Yeah, yeah.

This is mine. No, we need to course correct. Hi, I'm Duck. And I don't wear briefs. I lied to the people of the brief community. Oh, they're there once you're going to get offside. They thought they had a spokesperson. Oh, damn.

In fact, I hate them. You have had boy legs this whole time. Anyway, health, wellness. Yeah. We are the show for you, all right. We covered Scrotox a little while ago on the show where there was a little bit of a surge in gentlemen, seeing dermatologists and cosmetic clinicians to get a bit of Bowie downstairs. Smooth out the wrinkles.

Well, there's another set of. Wrinkles, we are now fighting. Neck wrinkles, ducker. That's it. My dermatologist. No, you're meant to go wrinkle. Rinkles. Dermatologists are saying tech neck, which is a phenomenon,

I think we're all very well aware of. You're looking down at your phone. Looking down at the phone. Everyone's always craning down, craning down. Apparently dermatologists are seeing a rise, particularly in young people coming to them saying, Can you give me something, injections, treatment, whatever it might be, because the sag on my neck has never been worse. And dermatologists are saying, that's because you're always looking down and essentially crinkling the neck skin.

Yeah, right. It's causing, we're not permanent damage. It's just your skin wrinkling up. Yeah. But people are now getting more and more conscientious and wanting to fix the neck wrinkles. Because it must just be held in that position for so many more hours at a day. Exactly. They are saying there are things you can do, bitter, Botox.

this injection, this sort of filler, or a bit of neck gym. You know, making sure you're rolling your neck very often, bringing the phone up to your eyes, not your face down to the phone. See people walk their phones up because they're so conscious of their neck. I feel like if you hold your phone at your eye or even a bit higher, not only is that craning your neck upwards, reversing the wrinkle effect, good arm workout. You hold that up long enough.

Get the shoulders going. Get the shoulders going. Get a bit of arms. We all know arms of the body part we're focusing on in 2026. It's not fire guy summer anymore. No, it's hot arm spring. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, so this is just another way we need to be conscientious.

Sagging neck skin caused by looking down at our phones. I would argue shorter people don't have this problem. See, I'm always looking up when I towards people anyway. You are reversing the affair. So just, you know. There you go. Look up to the heavens every so often. Look up to the heavens, guys.

And also cleanse, bring your moisturiser all the way down. So we're getting bush turkey necks. We are getting bush turkey necks, which shy guy really commented on when he watched the Golden Bachelor season. Oh, yeah. Those ladies just need to bring the retinol all the way down the neck and do some neck gym. You were giving them a couple gobble, gobble, go. Yeah.

I was like, is that a turkey or is that a contest? Why is bear dating a test? Finish it. I want to do it out for you to go down. I didn't want to have a fan. Oh, man. I don't worry with it. Yeah.

So at the event I was hosting on Saturday, there was a wing-eating competition. That's why I actually went. You told me it was at one, but it was later. It was 2.30. And then I missed it. But I had some of the wings. Did you? Not spicy.

Yummy, yummy in your tummy. Yes, yes. But yes, the challenge was for the Doom wing, so they're spicy. Amazing. The guy who won ended up doing, I think it was eight rounds of three, and no one was getting knocked out. So they had to actually then create the speed element as well. So if you were the last to eat it, because I just thought people will drop out.

Because it's hot. No one was dropping out. They were just real. So chilly, Philly had to go, right, I'm changing the rules. Last one to finish, just to get through it. Mate, people who love heat like that are just a different breed. But one woman, there's only two women competing, six blokes. One woman, ginger woman.

So she was already red. She was hot. At the end of it, her almost like the Homer Simpson beard, all around her lips, well into her cheeks, were red raw her body just reacted really physically and then I saw her 10 minutes later having a champagne I went what a queen what an absolute queen when you and me had a really spicy burger here once it just ruined the entire day we're drinking milk I was just on the toilet deal recovering from that mate I thought I was all right with spice that made me re-evaluate I'm not all right with spice I can do a bit of spice but I can't do like extra hot things

oh no way that is those eight people let alone but isn't it funny The winner's name was Bart. Kudos to you know, it was. Bart. How old was Bart? He looked young. I reckon he was maybe early 30s. Is that short for, that's going to be short for something.

Bartholomew? Bud. Edward. No. What is your name? Bartholome, I think. Yeah. I don't know what Bart is another nickname for.

Is Bart? Is someone calling a child nowadays, Bart? It just feels rogue. I don't know. It feels rogue to me. I mean, I'm not judging Bart, 13, 10, 60. Do we at? If you're a name.

If you're. If you're The Bart. You have a Bart in your life. Yeah, yeah, because it has to be short for... Surely. Surely. It's pretty quick. Just, you know, a nice, short, sharp name.

Bat. No muckering. Jess and ducco. Car politics. You pop Shannon Noel in the cassette. Oh, yeah. You're in the driver's seat. Hell yeah.

But there's a conundrum. Here's a conundrum. Because I've got my mum and my wife. Who gets front seat priority. This is doing the rounds online and forums. in Reddit, in Facebook groups, you'll like this. I've highlighted a name, and I just need to tell you which Facebook group this is because I thought it was so funny.

Recent Facebook groups including etiquette and manners and the dull men's club. Obviously. Obviously. Huge part of both those groups. Etiquette and manners are my favourite. You know what, though. I've tried to get into that group. Very secretive.

So how this has gotten out into the public, someone's breached the rules. We never want to do that. Conversations that happen in etiquette and management. Manor's Facebook group, stay inside editing. Heads will roll for this. I can't believe it's leaked. Yeah, yeah, it's out. There's a leak in the group.

Basically, people are saying there was a conundrum where one lady said, look, my husband was driving. We had her mother-in-law. I offered the seat to the mother-in-law, the front seat. She didn't take it. So then I took it the front seat, but I felt really bad. I then offered it to the father-in-law for another trip. And the father-in-law said, yeah, I'll take that.

So she sat in the back with the mum, and then she felt weird. And it was like, do you offer it? And this is from the wife's perspective. Wife's perspective, correct. So do you offer it, like, because if the guy, if it's, let's say it's my car, right? Drop. I'm driving. This happened the other week.

Mum and dad were both there. And then Morgan was going to sit in the front seat. Morgan offered the seat to mum. But then mum said, oh, no, I'll sit at the back because Flo was also in the back. And she's like, I'll make faces at the baby. Yes. And I think she put down the middle seat and just chucked her himself on the window. See, I want to eliminate anyone else in the car.

Yeah, okay. It is just wife and just wife. and just mum, because I think adding your father into it. Yeah, yeah, it's a different. It's like you've got a mate. Yeah, yeah. Being relegated to the back seat, it is a bit of a power dynamic. It is.

Don't you think? It's a real shift. So when it's just wife and just mum of husband driving, where is the power imbalance? You know where I'm going to say on this, stucco? You're going to see. Misso gets front seat. Well, so they're saying it's not just about the seat itself,

it's about what the seat represents. And that's what I'm saying. Sitting in the front seat means you, the co-pilot and second in command to the driver. So if it's your car, i.e. you and your partner. Yep. You've got to be, you, only you know how to turn the volume up like, you know,

in your own car. And whilst Angus might be driving, I might be in charge of navigation. I might be in charge of which is risky. Well, you don't know you left and right. That's used. Yeah, what are you doing as the co-pilot, actually? You guys did you have to be on me? I feel like that's

probably doing. Playing Ricky Martin and getting lost is what you're doing. Angus is listening going On what planet Have you ever directed me Somewhere that I didn't know how to get to me? As Angas hasn't pre-loaded the map The day before

You just fall asleep You just fall asleep in the car On any trip over 10 minutes Yeah but it's a power dynamic ducker My coat polish down again Even though it would be more comfortable For me to sit in the back It's a power dynamic man

It's a power dynamic man Has it happened? Yeah, you'll sit in the front Do you offer? Do you know what? It genuinely hasn't really happened If I'm in the, if it's say Morgan's, Morgan's driving for somewhere, everyone's, me and Morgan's mom,

I think I'll go to the back. But also, because, you know, front seats a bit easier to get in and out of. You know what I mean? I don't mind being the back. And it is one of those things. Do you actually want to be in the front? Because now you make great points. I don't want to be in charge of navigation.

Well, yeah, you got some roles to play. Do you know what? We have been in this situation. Angus, his mom and myself, we went down to Sydney for a concert. Yes. For John Mayer. Oh, that's right. Your body's a wonderland.

Angus did relegate me to the back because he knew I'd fall asleep. Yes, yeah, that's smart from him. He goes, I'm driving at midnight, two and a half hours home. Yeah, you do. And I think he had to say to me, I know you're not going to make it, whereas mum will chat.

Yeah, I've been in long car trips with you. Yes, there weren't even that long. And you do, yeah, and you do fall asleep. Oh my God, he did relegate me, and I don't think I could argue because I wasn't going to keep up the conversation. As passenger, you've got to be in cahoots with the driver. You really do.

So if you're going to nod off. Yeah. Oh. Jess, have we ever talked about the car trip jar? We were driving, like, I think it was two hours. Jess Rock gets in the car with a bottle, a bowl of pasta. It was risotto. I have heard this story.

Yeah, yeah. Sits in the back seat, eats the risotto, puts it on the floor and then just. Yeah. And she's out. Go on the way. And then woke up when we were there and was like, oh, yeah. This wasn't the funeral. No, this was going to Sydney years ago.

This was like four years ago. We did go to one and you felt like to sleep straight away. We were filming. We were filming an ad commercial. That's right. And then on the way back, I'm thinking. That's not my fault. You picked up the other bloke first.

It's not like I could then go, hey, get out of the front sea. I was relegated. Pardon me, I needed a snack. On the way back, I'm thinking she's eaten and slept so much. Surely she won't sleep again. Go on. Instantly. Out.

See you later. I get like the opposite of motion sickness. I get motion. Tiredness. Tiredness. It's drowsiness. And you're such a smooth driver, Ducco. Hence the ambassadorship.

So pardon me, I was lulled to sleep like a baby. Yeah, you do. Why am I trying to argue for the front seat? The back seat's way better. You love the backseat. Everyone's the text line saying you've got to offer it to the mother-in-law. You got the mum should, okay. The real power, don't know it for me, though, if it's me and Morgan's dad, let's say,

and Morgan's driving, like, we both go to the front seat. Yes, and then it's on the driver to then denote. Yeah, Ducco, you're in the back. Yeah, yeah. Has she had to pick between... You got shorter legs, you jump to the back. I'm like, oh, he's got you there. Oh, he's got you there.

Come and you feel like the back back. Yes, and Ducco. Quickly, Ducco, I just wanted to share with you something that's really made me feel good. Okay. It's really made me feel good. It's not about big noting or boasting, but it made me feel powerful. Yeah. It made me feel impactful.

Okay. You know, I've been carrying on about a particular dish from a particular pub. Yep. So much so, I dragged you three out to have this particular dish on Friday. We had a lovely, I guess, early Christmas celebration, just a nice feed as a family. I happened to be at that pub during the week doing some promotion. They were a part of the festival that I was emceeing on the weekend. And I'd been doing a lot of social media.

You may have seen it on my personal account. Just saying, get down, get down. This is one of the vendors. This is one of the restaurants. This is one of the offers. And when I was doing promotion for that particular pub, in this particular video, I mentioned the chicken dish, the chicken and chips. On Saturday, halfway through the event, one of my girlfriends who works at this pub

pulls me aside. She goes, Jess, you're not going to believe it. There is a table of about six women inside, all right? They're having some drinks. They're having some lunch. They've pulled over a guy who happened to be walking past in uniform because they needed to share some feedback. The guy they happened to grab was the owner of the pub. He's just walking around, but no one knows.

He's the only he's just wearing the merch. They just happened to grab him. And they said, we've just got some feedback. The only reason we came to your pub is because this girl, Jess, you know, was carrying on about the chicken dish so much. Their words. There was something in her eyes conveyed in this video that told us, we got to come and have this chicken.

And he went, and how was the chicken? They said, best chicken of our life. lives. Oh, wow. And I just love that it was the intensity in my eyes, their words verbatim, that dragged them out on a hot Saturday to have chicken and chips. I thought, the passion doesn't even need to come out of my mouth. It's just conveyed in my eyes.

Just the eye look. What do you reckon that was like, it was like you were making like sleep with me eyes, but about chicken? Maybe. Yeah, yeah. Come to bed with me eyes. Yeah, yeah. But about chicken and chicken.

Yeah. You have been talking about this chicken a fair bit to anyone who listen. Anyone who listen. It's working, man. It's getting bums in seats. was supporting the local hospital economy. Okay. But I just loved the intensity in her look.

The intensity in her look, got them there for the chicken. Got them there for the chicken. Yeah, that's one of your proud of moments. It really is. Of all my life achievements. The chicken. That'd be up there. Yeah, yeah, totally.

My kid being successful and smart and kind, that'll be one thing. Yeah, but nah. Getting people to taste his chicken. You wouldn't be able to be as honest with your kid being. You'd be like, my kid is so kind in a video. They'd be like, oh, she's lying. Everyone thinks their kid's great. Can't lie in the eyes.

But look at the chicken. Taste the chicken. Well, good on you. Yeah, I know. So anyway, it's good chicken. You know how you say to me? You know how you say to me when I say I love sport, right? And I'm passionate about sport.

And you go, God, I wish I love something that much. I think, this is it. This is your sporting team. This is my food. It's so right. Because I don't have this much passion about food like you do. I felt like something has been missing when I see how elated you get. And even in the lows, you are so in at your heart.

It's like when your chicken's too dry that time, you know? See? This is your sport. That was another chicken. I want it on the record. Not this chicken. You're so right. Who needs sport when you've got chicken?

Chicken. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabat's on here. Up for bugs. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice.

If you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back, of course, if there is time. Stepping up today, we have Laura. Hello, Laura. Hi, good morning. Laura, that's the energy we want for a Monday. What has brought you to the show? Why do you want our $10,000?

Oh, I listen every day, and I think that it would just make Christmas so incredible for my family. I've got two kids, a four-year-old and a seven-month-old, so you're great. Absolutely. Great presents. That's a busy household come Christmas. Isn't it? So we need $10,000 to really stuff the stockings of the little ones. Laura, the letter you're going to work with is D.

Okay. D for do it, Laura. Do it go all the way. Okay, thank you. All right. You ready? Absolutely. Come on, Laura.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D, we need you to name. An ice cream. A drumstick A noun Door A music genre A music genre

Pass Something in the kitchen A A DJ A DJ Raffie A school subject Drama A comedy film

A soft drink A music A musical No, I did say Raffey. No, not DJ Raffy. Yes, DJ Raffy. Who is DJ Raffy? He's a kid's DJ.

That's so good. She's not wrong. You did say it with conviction, so, okay, we've got to give it that. We're going to pay that. DJ Raffy. Move it, rave party for kids. Oh, there you go. Someone's got young kids and watching a bit of DJ Raffy.

Waka Waka Remixed with Gangnam Style. Oh, we love that. Look, Lori, you got yourself. Uh, you sell four. A music genre could have been Dubstep or drum and bass, something in the kitchen, a dishwasher,

uh, a comedy film, dumb and dumber or death at a funeral or soft drink, Dr. Pepper or diet, anything. And then a musical could have been, uh, Dream Girls.

Okay. Laura. That's okay. You were delightful. Yeah. You were delightful. Yeah. Don't go away empty hand.

No, you don't. You get $100 of fuel. Thanks to the legends at O'Brien. That is all yours. Oh, thank you so much. Have a great Monday. Thank you, Laura. Enjoy DJ Raffy.

Tell him he said hi as he pumps you up. Bye. See you, Laura. Do play again inside the hour for $10,000 8 o'clock. Hey, our call of fame this week. Yeah, yeah. You thought it was good with Ricky Martin. Well, we're just getting better and better.

Yep. We got Kendrick Lamar tickets. Come on. They're not like us. They're not like us. That's all the words I know. I knew much more Ricky. You're going to have to do the Kendrick.

Yeah, hell yeah. Teases and sells. We got Kendrick Plus accommodation. That's right. At the Ridges-Narling Square, you've got to get involved in the show. You've got an opportunity next. Yeah, we're talking being hacked. That's right.

You're in good company. Yep. The Louve got hacked. I didn't know. So you don't have to feel as bad. But are you getting hacked. Jess and Duckow. 13, 1060.

Have you been hacked? Computer says no. Well, in this instance, the computer said yes and let in the hackers. Maybe it was your fault. Maybe they were too good for you. I guess it's a lesson, if anything. Yep. We want you to share to educate.

That's why these stories, I think, are so public about the Louvre Heist, Ducco. The Louvre Heist is, it's just the gift that keeps on giving. We are in Paris, obviously. If you have missed this story, I don't know how you could have. It has captured the attention of the globe. A couple of weeks ago, four people broke into the Louvre. They used a crane on the back of a truck. They smashed a window, got in, stole upwards of 160.

million dollars worth of jewels four people have been charged the jewels have not been recovered no they're gone but now there's obviously an intense investigation how did this happen ducco oh what's that our cameras weren't facing the right way yeah what's that our password was louvre an audit into the louvre's security it was 9.30 a.m. on a Sunday yeah how did this happen in broad daylight what's that nothing was insured An audit carried by France's national cyber security agency Indeed showed that the video surveillance system The password was Louvre, capital L

Oh, that's gonna get him No special characters Chuck Sneaky, 1, 2, 3 in the end of that I had to make a password, I swear it was something as inane as like Maybe the gym I signed up for, like for the app 14 characters Oh, it's ridiculous

Ducco, it wanted 14 characters, uppercase, lowercase, numbers, special characters. And when I tried to use a name, not my own, I'll put it out there. It said, password weak. Because obviously it assumed, I had someone close to you. How dare you judge the strength of my password? You get really disappointed when it hits you with a weak password. You're like, oh, what? 14 characters?

That's a sentence. How am I meant to remember that? How am I meant to type that in every time? That's why iPhone has saved password. word now, and you just hope, because I just hope that it remembers everything. Louve with a capital L. To be fair, if you are not a native French speaker,

you know, there's a U, there's a fee, there's an R in there. Me and Charg got no chance to spell them out. Babe, no, nope. You should be spelling it. Who knows, which would never be able to hack. But these guys potentially were French. We don't have details on who was arrested. They know how to spell Louvre.

Yes. Just a capital L. We also don't know if they hacked the system. Well, this has just come out in the audit of the security measures in place. or should we say, not in place? Right. People are saying, you may as well have just made it password.

Yeah, it's pretty basic. With a capital P, one, two, three. That's why we want to know. Maybe you can put your hand up and went, I made it too easy for it. Yeah, yeah. Or you just got a lesson for the history books. I go hacked.

One of my girlfriends has gone through something at the moment. Got hacked via her D-pop account. Oh, what? You know how you resell clothes? It's an app slash website. It's called D-pop. Yeah. got in through the Deepop account,

able to change her passwords, but that was obviously linked to her PayPal. PayPal is the strangest form of currency. I just find PayPal so weird. Because that's all linked in that allegedly secure site. They got in through that. We're able to get into everything else. My PayPal got hacked, but there was nothing there.

But I only had to pay for one thing this one time a while back. And I kept getting notifications saying, yeah, PayPal was hacked, etc. Well, there you go. And then you don't know if those emails are scam trying to hack you. Yeah. Hey, you've been compromised, Ducco. this link, never click a link. What? I've won money?

Yeah. Maybe you fell for that. Did you get hack scammed? Yes. Did you, so is your friend who got hacked? She's got like the AFP on her case. So you identity hack? Yes, because they're now getting, they've got emails. They got into insurance. Jeez. They were trying to claim insurance.

What? I don't really know how that works. You don't get paid out that money, do you? It's like you claim it via the service. Yeah. Anyway, it's a nightmare. They were getting a couple of massages. Like what? She's got remedial? Great. I'll use this.

Oh, geez, my back's been sore. Thanks so much. Can I get needling on her account? Yes, I can. They maxed out her insurance on remedial. She's done now. Her four trips. She wants cheap dental.

Sorry. Gone. See you later. Because of these hackers. Yeah. But we want to know. Have you been hacked? 1310 60. You've been hacked.

Doesn't just have to be online, you know? Scammed or take. Where else could have been hacked? Have you been hacked in real life? Well, a real life hack. Well, they had those things that were where you could walk past. Ask someone. The credit cards give us?

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I always wrap my cards in foil. Pickpocketers, you know what I mean? You got to wear your backpack on your front. Always will be a backpacking in your undies. You're just asking for people to get anything. Come on.

Someone pickpocker me. Have a go. 15, 1060, though. Why is that guy walking around Budapest with no pants, with a sign pointing? Yeah, yeah, with a wallet in his pants with cash hanging out. Jess and Ducko. Yes and Ducko. 131060 though right now we are discussing if you've been hacked

I think we want to learn let us learn from your mistakes maybe Yep Like the Louvre I'm certainly learning something Ducko here I am whinging About the apps That make me put a 14 character password in Change it every 30 day

Special characters upper lowercase Don't use names judgment Your password is weak Shut up However if you go the other end of the spectrum, and you're the Louvre, and you make your password for your security system L.

It's the first thing I would have checked. Probably going to get hacked. And it did. The audit of the security system, and where it failed, they haven't come out saying that these four allegedly dudes who smashed a window, got in and made off with $150 million worth of jewels. They're not saying that they did hack the system, but they're now looking for any cracks in the area.

amour, shinks in the armour. And that was one thing discovered. Password was Louvre. Silly. Capital L, it'll get you. So I think they've changed it. I reckon they've got a Louvre exclamation. Yeah, yeah.

One, two, three. Don't, maybe don't try that. Don't hack the Louvre. They've been through enough. They're so overwhelmed. Rodney, have you been hacked? I have. I got a text message sent to me from PayPal with saying that me four-way pay,

didn't go through so I went in and clicked on it and when I did everything just went blank shut down oh no I couldn't access my any of me files my computer everything was like instantly just dead it was that fast Rodney it was pretty quick like I mean literally I got onto the banks and pretty much had to stop everything and PayPal and then all of a sudden whatever they did they crushed the modem and, yeah, I didn't have anything. I had to actually go and get a whole brand new modem, which I end up paying, I think, close to $300 for one of those ones that basically scramble your IP address.

Oh, make it incognito. Jeez. Oh, Rodney. It happens fast, too. It does. And that's a scary thing. Like, Rodney may have just made a payment on PayPal. So then you get a notice like that, you think, oh, something's gone wrong.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? All of a sudden, everything's gone. Yes. Thank you for the education, Rodney. We go from Rodney. to Robbie, Robbie, have you been hacked? I wasn't hacked.

A good friend of mine was hacked, and then I ended up getting scammed and lost $2,000. Robbie, what? Did you get messages from this alleged friend? Yes, I've got a message from this alleged friend saying, I know you're going through a hard time. I've just had a win for, I've ended up with $30,000 or something.

I also had to do was pay out $4,000. So I'm raising two grandchildren. and I desperately wanted to get my son a car and my daughter a car so stupid me. Oh no. Fell for it, borrowed money to pay the $2,000 and it was supposed to be $4,000 and then I couldn't raise the other $2,000 and then I put two or sort of put two and two together because I said something about my daughter and they sort of sent a message back saying, Oh, how is she going at school and she was 28?

Oh, they clearly didn't know you, didn't know the family. You caught him out. That's good, you caught him out. It was too late. Yes, you want to do that early. But we can't trust anyone. We go from Rodney to Robbie to Rob. Rob on 13, 1060.

Great cohesion here. Boy cohesion. Have you been hacked? Hey, guys, yeah, I have. My ATO online account got hacked. Yeah, ATO. Rob, I would have thought that would be one of the secure. websites yeah well the password was a five five um five character password with a um a capital letter

and a full stop and um someone from south um africa actually got into the account and um they said that i owed them seven thousand dollars and i had to prove that i was at work at the time it was lodged oh now every time i do my tax every year i've got to ring up and they open my account for 48 hours so I can do my account, my tax, and then they closed the account again. Crazy. Oh, my God. So when you say how specific your password was there, Rob, are you saying

this bloke or whoever literally guessed your password? And that's how they got in? I don't know. I've got no idea. And the ATO couldn't tell me. All they told me was basically they lodged a claim. The ATO paid the claim. The actual person

went in there and changed all the banking details. Oh, my gosh, so they got the money? Did you get your money at all from the claim? No. No, because he wasn't the one who needed it. No, well, it was a claim to say that someone, that I lived in South Africa. Yeah, yeah.

So the government's gone, all right. Here you go, Rob, you need this. There is something to say about the 14 character past words. The government got hacked on Rob, you know what I mean? Via Rob. Rob. He's Rob the hacker. He's the...

Jeez. He's going to say, you know, the weak link, but he's not because he was the innocent party here. It's all very... Now the Rickmore will come tax time for Rob. Very different ways people got hacked too. I know. From friends to the government. Can't trust anyone.

Keep your passwords tight, guys. No more password, one, two, three. No shy guy 69. Oh, damn. It's got to change all these passwords now, Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Oh, baby, let me grab a book from my shell. Let me sing all the lines for you.

You know you gotta pick the melody. So you could score a point or two. Book Top Box. Did you get told to change that? Yeah, no, it's on the list. Yeah, it's on the list. Because it explains the rules, so we don't need to explain the rules.

Fine, we'll see it out. Book Topps. Everyone knows how to play this. You'll get it even if you don't. That's right. What book have you pulled off your shelf today, Bad? This one's called Glow of the Ever Flame. Of course.

Book 2 of the Kindred Kirst Sangha. Hang on, have we done book one? I think so. Oh, okay. It's like, don't you be jumping to book two. I'm going to get confused. We'll get very confused. We're getting through all.

You'll still be confused. You know, she's not brought in a Kindle. You know, it's all just hard books. I think I need to because I'm running out of books. And that would be so much easier. Yeah. You know, you can do a different passage from the same book. Yeah.

That's also true. I don't remember what book you do. Okay, great. She's been the same books. They're all the same. I know, but someone out there might know. Oh, yeah. And she's doing it for that person.

She's not for you guys. Thurrah. Yeah. Thurra. He does with your first one today. Bats. Surrey flew. Back to the palace at break next speed.

I curled into her. One fur unfocused on stealing my trembling lips and my hairless instincts. Oh, it's what about me, Shannon Knott. It is. Oh, good, yeah. I did not have that in there. Well, done. It was a real point.

That was Mark Holden-style. Circus 2003. Man, that's not what I was. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was. To be fair, I kind of jumped to the end, but, you know, just keeping you on your toes. All right, good job. Okay. We would by father answer it on my behalf.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, time of your life, Green Day. It's something unpredictable, but in the end of the eyes. Good ridden. Yeah. Good ridden. Yes. I was like, what's good. Is that the name?

That's a name. Well, it's good ridden's in brackets. Time of your life. Yeah, you're talking either. You don't come up, mate. Yeah, yeah. Good riddons. Apologies.

Does he say good riddens in the song? I don't think he does. Oh, there you go. No, I don't think so. That's why they started calling a good ridden and they went, jeez, we've got to change the title. No one's really latched on to this cool thing we tried to do. So we're going to point to doco and a point to shy guy. Here we go.

I beamed it settled. You're my newest. Advisor, he granted. Oh. A reluctant agreement, his eyes wondered. Over my shoulder And I glanced Back to sea

Surrey Watching him with curiosity I know it's cool I know who sings of it Sam Smith stay with me It's Sam Smith but it's not stay with me I don't know far out what's other Sam Smith Keeps in, keep doing

Ray popped her wings in a show of... Oh, yeah, it sounds like stay with me. Not the only one. I'm not the only one. Yes. Nice. Jeez, I would have called this stay with me. I don't know. I'm not the only one.

They have one, sorry, in my opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is the best one. This is a half-breaker. Yeah, that's... Jeez. Oh, yeah, sorry. Point to Shagai. If Shagai gets the next one, he wins.

Thank you. Thank you. Tybreaker. And if I get it, it's very cool. He's here for fun. You never know. You never know. Jay-like.

Ricky. All right, let's go. Imagine. It's not. Okay. I don't know I. Oh, Katie Perry. I'm cold.

Oh. That was very tired. You're a quiz master. What do you do? We'll go to the tie break. Oh, we got that time break. You can't write this stuff, guys. You can't write this stuff.

You're ready? You know what gave it away. She's talking about Katie Perry in the pre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was doing topical things, you know? Yeah, yeah. All right. Off air.

God, you're good. Top of your stuff off air. Good job. Always is wonderful. That's not right. I like Tarrant. He seems to be the only descended in Luminos, who doesn't care above the crown. I gave him a thoughtful look.

I imagine that has something to do with. It does. We both. Had child That were not I can't I'm not We swore out

Loyalty to each other When we were boys And we never looked back No I'm not I'm not getting anything Religious But it's not a religious song

That's a great clue Keep going Church Get off What Is it take me the church It's a She's golden

Oh, that makes it. We look back. It's a tough soul to see. Yeah, I know that. Didn't really think about that in advance. I was like a little shout to the lawn. You've been dropping little breadcrumbs? Yeah.

I need to carve out some on-air time. Funny you say bread. Oh. And we all know when one member of the team carves out on-air time to ask, request. Yep. It's never good.

Well, you know, it just means... For the remaining people. Shagga set the tone by coming on and asking if he could have a day off. I almost think it was Bams. Wasn't Bams the first one to ask for the day off of the cruise? Maybe. That was a week. Yeah, I think it was...

Shot got it on the Monday. For the Friday. That's right. But I hold team family meeting. You got a cruise you want to go on? Not quite. If it's... No, that segway's just not going to work.

I'm not going to say if it's a cruise of the butt because I'm going to... And you wonder why you get the DMs you get. Well, now you're going to know. It'll make a lot of sense when I say. So this Friday, I need to have the day off. I cannot attend work. But not because I'm going anywhere

or doing anything fun because this Friday, I have to get a colonoscopy. I said what, what in the butt. I said what what. I'm also known as a cruise of the bus. So now you get a, get my segue, which was actually pretty good. Thank you. You're

welcome. Sure. Wait, sorry. Sorry. Who did this the other day? You. It was you. I need to take the day off because I'm moving and 7 a.m. was the only freaking time. That was true. That was the big issue. You have to take the more. What times are colonoscopy? So this is what I thought, right? Because I thought, I do it on Friday afternoon. I can just come in in the morning. Beautiful. Have a laugh with your pals and then go get your butt scopes.

However, my week is shaped up like this. who's had a colonoscopy will understand. I haven't, educate me. So first and foremost, can I just say everything's fine. It's not, I'm getting it for any issues. I'm getting it for a routine checkup. Is that usually why you would get a colonoscopy? Well, because there is a red flag.

If you had like, you know, stomach issues, gut things, whatever. Obviously everyone knows my IBS and pabs and yada yada. We joke about it. Family have history of bowel stuff. But I emceed an event recently where a tragic accident with a, well, tragic thing, where the partner, the husband passed away at 38 from bowel cancer. And I was like, I was like, you know what? I'm just going to get it checked because.

My granddad. Like the universe is telling me something? Yeah, she just said, just get checked. You know, I'm 34, but I was like, I may as well. Like, just get it checked. Just peace of mind. So I thought, I'll get in, but I'm not going to get in for months. This could be next year, whatever.

Oh, it's a backlog. Colonoscopies. A bit of buildup, mate. Call it a clog of collos. Anyway, I ended up getting in, and I got in this Friday, and I was thinking, okay. Like, I'll get in. You got to get in them. I'm asked for no anesthetic.

You're like women in labour like, man. I just want to know what it feels like. I regret it. I'm going all natural. No, so basically I thought I can do this, you know, and then my mum and my sister who've had them before and anyone who's had one will be like laughing at me. This is how the week pans out.

Tomorrow I'm not allowed anything, any seeds or nuts or something like that. Wednesday, white diet only. So I'm talking like rice, rice, white bread, chicken and fish. Like to white things, nothing colorful. So nothing colorful at all. You've got to get everything out. Because that impacts your bowels. It impacts the bowels, I suppose, and the colors in there.

Thursday, no food at all. And then at 3pm and then again at 6 p.m. You take this juice or you take this drink they give you, which just flushes you out. And essentially, for what everyone's told me, you're on the toilet the minute you get that all night, pretty much Thursday night. Like...

What I'm hearing is could do the show from a toilet. Shy Guy, how quick can we get a plumber in here to put a toilet on his side of the desk? Um, I can reach out. Oh, you know, or I could just do it from the colonoscopy couch at home, you know? But then I spoke... Because what time is your appointment? This is the problem, right?

Because then I said, can I, can I just come in after nine or like after 10? I've just got something. And they were like, uh, a no, it's an all day thing. So they call you, they call you the night before and they say, hey, you're coming tomorrow. Yours is at 11 or whatever for this day surgery, whatever. Sure. We've got an opening.

To see your opening. To see your opening. But like... I had no idea this was what's involved. You didn't know it was a few-day lead-up. I thought this was 24 hours. No, it's like a three-day lead-up of what you have to do to prepare. And you're going to do it thoroughly because if there's anything left in you, it's cancelled,

and null and bore, you go do it again. And they can't get a proper reading. They can't get a proper reading. And apparently, the feeling you get when you haven't eaten all day and then you're just clearing everything out, you've got nothing in you, is just horrific. Apparently, the Thursday night is just like a leaking trap. Yeah, and you feel like trash. And then Friday, when you get it, everyone's like you'll have no energy and no stamina to want to even do a radio show.

Because, like, the people at the colonoscopy place were like, are you joking? Because I was like, can I just jump on it? Yeah, that's true. You know, the average joke, though, fair enough, they're going, you've got nothing in the tank. You've got tank to spare. Yeah, that's true. And I also sadistically just want to see. You just want to feel my pain.

I don't want to feel anything. Thank you. But I want to see. Would you guys want a live stream? Yeah, can we go live? We get clicks. Probably. I then thought about, can I do it live from home?

But I'll do it life from my colonoscopy couch or something. Yeah. It's just every time I'm running sort of back and forth to the toilet. But it's not exactly a mobile kit. It's not a mobile kit. And also, you might hear me going, you might hear me like, it's just into, oh, no, and they're just running off. Apparently, it's a gross feeling. Is it?

Everyone, everyone has messaged me saying that who's had it is just like, you know, it's the grossest. Like, take it seriously. Wait till I'll do it on air tomorrow. Wait until I tell you the... What's the first thing? No nuts and seeds. No nuts and seeds. Which would make up a huge part of your diet being a bird.

You know me. That's great. Duck. What's it? Was that good? I really like that one. Thanks, Shike. Yeah.

Bing. My guy. Anyway, so that, what do you mean? What's the next phase? Well, the Wednesday, wait until I read you what I've got to act, the diet they've suggested for me on the Wednesday. Like, it is ridiculous. Okay. So Wednesday's going to be a horrible day.

Thursday's going to be even worse. You're going to see me on Thursday. I'll be hungry again. I'm going to be fading. So what I'm hearing, this is a great week for everyone in your life around you. Yeah. Oh, that's what you've taken out of this. Yeah, sorry.

Did you want sympathy? I'm turning up. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

Of course, we come back to you if there is time. We are playing for 10K. Everybody knows that, including Ashley. Good morning, Ashley. Good morning. Good morning. Ash, happy Monday to you. What do you want to spend 10 grand on?

We've probably saved it up for a caravan. Fantastic. We're thinking a whole trip around Australia. Oh, yeah, or just little like holidays on the weekend. We're sticking a 10 up. Oh, okay. They're campers. Yeah, campers.

Let's get fancy with a caravan. Yeah. What kind of caravan we're looking at? Oh, or any with funks. We've got three kids, so we have to have to accommodate for them now. Fair enough. Well, Ashley, the future. of your camping adventures looks pretty good.

And your lady's letter is F. F for future. Okay? All right. Your time will start after the first question. You're ready? Mm-hmm. Starting with the letter F, we need you to name.

A baking ingredient. Flower. A musical. Path. An adjective. Fast. A drink. Santa.

A kitchen item. Freak. A rom-com. Path. A school subject. A project? An occupation. A country.

A friend. Something in the bathroom. Flowers? A musical. Comes up more often than not musical, and it does seem to stump people. No one gets musical. Let this be a lesson.

Hey. Footloose, fame. That's a tough one. Look, you did get yourself serious. Yeah, yeah. Could have been footloose. A rom-com failure to launch or father of the bride. A school subject, French, film, an occupation, a finance manager or firefighter.

Look. Firefighter. Firey. You don't get the cash. They're the ones you missed out on Ash, but you do get $100 of fuel thanks to O'Brien. Oh, wonderful. You know what, Ash, no one gets musical, but no one gets adjective either. But you did.

You did. You did get that. Well done to you. You nailed that. Thank you. You're welcome. You can hold your. head up high.

All right. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Ah, geez. Hey, good news is more chances tomorrow, 7.8M, and right now, more chances at that call fame. That's right. Tickets to Kendrick Lamar.

You'll remember him from the Super Bowl halftime performance and a couple of albums. He's been the most nominated Grammy artist this year, I believe. Fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll also throw an accommodation. Yep. Just got to get involved in the phones.

We're asking 13, 1060. Have you been bomb it on? Will you accept yourself on yourself? Oh, nah. You want another person involved. Yeah, yeah. I got a doozy of a story from what my daughter did on the weekend. Jess and Ducco.

131060. Have you been vomited on? Specifically vomited on by someone else. Pretty horrific stuff. Oh, no, no, we don't need to. Okay, you play the ones? Yeah. I got a couple of, badgers out there vomiting.

That sent both of you. That's a sound effect. Both of you. That is the worst one we play. Yeah. It's so visceral. It's very visceral, isn't it? Hey, you won't believe what happened.

Now, my dude, obviously, nearly seven months old. She's a vomitor. Unfortunately. You're either a spewer or a pooer. Yeah, yeah, true. She doesn't poo that bad. She's had a couple. She vomits.

She's like projectile now. It's like they open their mouth and it goes so far. And you're like, how'd that happen? How'd that force come out of that little body? I know. You don't even reaching. They just, and it just flies. So she's...

Can I just flag we've gone from colonoscopy? I know. I know. And just all on me, too. We've gone from... You've done both ends in the space of 20 minutes. How did that happen? Shall I got balanced.

Shy guy balanced, man. We're going to be talking about getting a colonoscopy and eating Friday to my daughter vomiting on someone. You're meant to look at the show as a hole. God damn it. Don't say hole. From one hole to another. Darko, seven month off. We're here now, babe.

So I was at a nice cafe on the weekend, a cafe that you recommended to me actually. How was it? It was good. It was very colourful, lots of nice things, lots of kid things. Yeah, yeah. I've got flow on my, like, holding flow, right? And she is loving all the, you know, the things. Lots to look at.

Lots to look at. And she'd probably had her bottle maybe, I don't know, 20 minutes before. So it wasn't too bad, at the cafe. Yeah. Morgan's in front of us and this lady comes up behind and obviously sees flow and she's made eyes and she's doing the, oh, like, you know, look at you. Just a random lady going about her business. I reckon she's 30 centimetre from me too.

Like, there was a bit of daylight covering us. Yep. And Flo, out of nowhere. Just, and the thing is... She didn't like the faces this woman was making it. It was so fast. I felt this warmth, like, splattered the ground and it hit my calf. And I was like, what was that?

Did someone spill their coffee? And she's like, oh, oh, I look around. This lady's got vomit from Flo on her shoulder, down her arm, and it's on the floor. Like, it was a big projectile. For all the formula come back up. And she just looked at me, and I was like, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. And she's like, it's okay.

I had a chuck her too. Like, my daughter used to vomit. Oh, she could relax. And then Morgan comes up and it's like, oh, and just starts, like, patting her down. Oh, no, I'm so sorry. Like, wiping it. Just bare hands. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God, that's putting it on my shirt. Don't go take off the tish. I'm trying to, like, I'm holding flow. She's got vomit on her mouth down my shoulder. I'm like, oh, no. It went so far. Normally it can sort of dribble. This just shot out on her.

This is like you'd pressed her belly and squeezed it out. You're lucky it was a parent. Yeah, I know. Imagine if it was. was someone who couldn't empathize. Someone younger, and they were just in a queue, and it just happened to them. To be fair, I've got a kid. If that happened to me, I think I'd freak out too.

It's gross. Luckily, she was the most empathetic lady, so I felt so bad. And I was like, do you want to dry clean that, dude? What do you do? It's just formula. She'll come out, mate. It will stink. Trust me, you're going to smell yourself out.

Can I buy you a cupcake? How can I make amends? Oh, so. And then we had to, like, clean off her, and then off. the floor, and then I fly, I was just one, and everyone's looking. Do you know she knew it was you? No, I don't think so. I don't think so.

She might be listening now being like, oh my God. It was, I felt so bad. It was disgusting. It's a baby. Yeah, Flo, it's giving me a bad rep. But we got to Billy on 13, 1060. Billy, you've been vomited on. Yes, I have.

By a friend of mine, so he wasn't feeling too good. I had to get him in the back of my car to take him home. And I've been holding his head up straight to try and his head was going down. As I lifted his head up straight, he's just thrown up all over me and the back seat in my car. Oh, Billy. Now, you've said, you know, he wasn't feeling well, not on the source.

Yeah, he'd had a few games. I'd have to take him home, so I was kind of picking up and, yeah, he wasn't in a good shape. Who cleans the vomit then? Do you make him do it? I couldn't. He wasn't in the right state, so it was all on me and the back foot of the car. It's one of those things I would be waiting for him to sober up. You're cleaning my car, but the longer you leave that.

The longer it imbibes, part of your car seat fabric. I hope you chipped in a couple of buccaroos to get it details. Sartman. You get it. Or buy Billy a cupcake. You get it. 13, 1060. You've been bobbing it on.

Was it a rogue baby or rogue friend? Imagine this wins you the Kendrick Lamar tickets. It could. Make us, you vomit right now. You could get babes for sure. Yeah, let's see if we can do it. We'll get you on after a bit of somber. It is 12 to 12.

Hit breakfast. Jess and Ducko. You've been vomiting. Don't do it. Don't. Move your fingers away. Don't. You've played it enough.

I've played it enough. Your daughter. Don't you. Bab, it's bad. It's even better than you. Babs just out there nearly vomiting. It's so good. Babs, I tried to get him to stop.

Your daughter. My daughter. Nauty Flores. Nauty Flo. She vomited. We're in a cafe and some lady was making nice eyes and faces at her while we're in a queue. And Flo just projectile on her shoulder. It went on her all over the floor and everywhere.

And it was so embarrassing. The lady was lovely, luckily. She had a vomitor as a kid when they were younger, but it just doesn't help the fact that what do you do? What do you do? You get some napkins and you go home. You go home? You change that T-shirt.

Yeah, yeah, you leave. God, it was a hot on the weekend as well. So that would have just been stinking. Oh, it just smells. Formula and breast melt. Yeah. I'll get you a cappuccino, sweetheart. Yeah.

Cat, good morning. Hey, how you doing? Yeah, good babe. Have you been, have you been vomiting on? Absolutely. Absolutely. My stepson, when he was three, we drove down to Sydney, and as soon as we hit the Sydney smog, he goes, I don't feel very well. And as I've turned around past him a bag, he projected a dog vomited into my mouth. Oh, no, not in the mouth.

In the mouth. That is immediate grounding. That's detention. That is out of the will. What, did you then, I would have vomited back from the vomit. I'd be like, this is disgusting. Yeah, no, look, I just, I took it, I got some paper towel and like the face. Oh, my God.

Having kids, hey? Okay, let's leave cat there, thank you. Fiona. Oh, I don't know if I'm going to make it through this. Fiona. Hello. On 13-1060. You've been vomiting on.

Hi. Well, my daughter was the vomiter. Yep. What happened? When she was about five, she didn't feel well, walks out and I don't feel sick. I don't feel well, vomit's on the floor. The dog comes over, I was like, oh, this looks good, starts licking up for vomit.

And then she vomited again on top of the dog. On the dog. The dog's like, this is heaven. The dog's getting asked for that. I'm now going to lick it off myself. Well, so the dog was having a grand all time, and I didn't quite know whether to clean up my daughter or the dog or the floor. Or just let the dog clean it all.

Oh, yuck. It's just, at least the dog is cleaning. it. They'll probably get sick from it, but... Lee. Hello. Hi. You've been vomiting on. Lee. Hello.

Hello. Lee. Hello. Yes. Hello. Hello. Please don't let me ask again. You've been vomiting on. We're talking vomits, Lee.

What are you got? Well, um, I think I've already had my story. I can. We haven't spoken to you, Lee. Did you speak to Babs and Shy guys? Wait, what have they done? Oh, you're not coming on here, Shagga. What are you doing?

Lee. Is Lee the woman? Is Lee the woman Florence spewed on? Lee gave me a story off air. If Lee could just repair her story, that would be great. What's happened? I don't know. And the phones I went, Lee.

Hello? Sorry, yes. Go forth. Okay, Shagga. You know what? It doesn't matter. That's just whatever. This is why Babbs does the phones and you don't.

What was that all about? So Lee told her story to Shy Guy, assuming that's me done. Lee thought she was already on. So now we've asked Lee and she goes, I've already told my story, not really. Lee thought she already did it. She must have thought I was ducco, I don't know. The day it happens. Ah, well, Lee, good, good.

I'm sure it was great. Shannon on 13, 1060. I got excited when she said, my story was the vomitor. She deserves Kendrick Lamarcy kids. Shannon, we got to get out of here quick. What happened to you, babe? Oh, when my daughter was 16, she was begging to go to a party with her friends to drink. So I knew she was going to do it anyway, so I was just like, yeah, right to go.

An hour later, her friend called me to go and pick her up when she was very drunk, apparently. Oh, God, an hour later. They were playing beer pong with straight Jack Daniels. And so, you know, we carried her into the car, and I was like, you know, if you need a few, let me know we were driving. And she just looked at me, and she was like, mum, started crying, vomited. all over me, all over my car. So I pulled over and dragged her out of the car and then she's like crying because she vomited.

Then we get home and I'm dragging her out of the car because she's still vomiting. And I was trying to close the door, but her leg was stuck in the door. It couldn't tell me because she was vomited, still vomiting. Like, on me. Slamming the door. Yeah. And then I had to take her inside and shower her, like, still covered in vomit. And it was, yeah.

It's just, you know, being apparent once again. One of the glory. Doug, I just did my radio code, so I feel like I have to say this, please drink responsibly. Just off the back of that one. Maddie on 131060, wrap us up here, Maddie. Please, for the love of God. Two years ago, I was at Movie World on the Green Lantern, and a random kid in front of me threw up. I swear it was in like slow motion because it went up and back straight into my face, all over my shirt.

And it was at the start of the ride, too. So I went through the whole ride. with spew all over me. Oh, Maddie. I got off the ride just like, has anyone got bottles of water? I just drenched myself. Oh, yuck.

Did the kids say anything at least? Did you get an explanation or? I was too busy gagging myself for trying not to throw up myself. You can imagine, yes, as you said, Matt, obviously the velocity, the gravity is going to change and almost keep it in the air, like something out of the cartoon.

I've done that at Octoberfest. Have you? I vomited from the roller coaster on Octoberfest. Why is there a rollercoaster adult club? That feels like a dangerous car. Jess and Ducko. How should I have handled this situation, Doco? I look forward to this.

So on the weekend, I was meant to catch up with a girlfriend, but she texts me. She's going through some treatment for something. And she's like, look, I'm not up for it. I said, fair enough, sis, no worries. And then I had this urge. I was like, drop her like a little care package or something. I went to go out for coffee. And I said, hey, I was going to leave something on your doorstep.

Didn't have time to make anything. Just went to the shops and got a few little goodies. I said, what's your address, though? Because I didn't know. She's moved recently. She said, yeah, I'm 4 of 52, whatever street. It's some new apartments, units. I said, no worries, great.

A little bit of a drive, no worries. I accidentally put in my GPS four of five of the same street. Not 4 of 52, 4 of 5. But I didn't realize that, obviously. Yeah. I get there. It's units, exactly what she said. So I go, leave the bag on the door, go back in my car, and text.

Hey, I've left it on your doorstep when you're up for it. But there is tofu in the bag. Oh, yeah. Vegan. If you want to just... My thoughts are with her. If you can, if you can get it in the fridge, probably timely. You don't want that tofu to go bad?

No one wants bad tofu, let alone bad tofu. It's funny because I'd message her saying, what treats do you like? Oh, you like tofu in the same breath? She went, it's not a treat. Like, I eat it because what else can I eat? I went, oh, I don't know. Cherry ripe's not vegan. Can't get your cherry rite.

So anyway, she goes, all right, I'll go get the tofu to put in the fridge. Yeah. Text me two minutes later, hey, there's no, there's no bag here. I was like, what do you mean? Four of five? She went to four of fifty two. Oh, crap. I've put it at the wrong house.

Yeah. I've driven off at this point, though, so I circle back around. Pull up at four or five. There's this boy. Like, oh, he could be between 13 and 16, I don't know. Yeah. The bum fluff mustache, you know, esh-looking vibe. I was like, oh, oh, he's going through the back.

He's ruffling through it. He's obviously gotten home. He's like, maybe come out the front door. How does someone know I love tofu? And I was like, oh, no. Hey, excuse me, excuse me, young man. What did you say? Park on the street.

He's rifling through it. Maybe he's thinking. Did you leave a car? No, because I was texting it. Yeah, yeah. So I park the car. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to, like, walk up the driveway.

Yeah. And I got to him and I was like, hey, sorry. Did you want, did you? You went up when? You look like you've got Riz. You know what gives me the ick? Leaving things in the wrong place. Which is exactly what I've done.

That's on me, little homie. Genuinely. And he's just got that like, stink of teenage boy and just that attitude of like, I'm too cool for anything. I'm like, hey, sorry, excuse me. And he looks at me like, what? Doesn't say anything.

Doesn't acknowledge my existence. I'm like, oh, sorry, I got addresses wrong. I've just left these bags for, you know me. Start word vomiting. I'm like, it's actually for a friend of mine. I got the address wrong. It's a care package. She's not feeling well.

Anyway, can I just grab the bags off you? Yeah. And he was like, what? I was like, okay, I have left these bags. I'm so sorry, I've put them at the wrong house. He's like, what, what, Uber? I'm like, no, well, yeah, kind of. Sort of.

I'm not an Uber driver. My friend was sick, and she's a vegan, and she likes tofu, but she doesn't really, but she does, but I got it for her, and. And I was, can I just get the, can I take the bags? And he's like, what do you mean? And just this, this, this, this vaught, it probably was only a 90-second interaction, but he just wasn't letting me go, wasn't letting go with the bag. He's going through them.

Eventually, I went, can I please take the bags? I've just made a mistake. I've dropped them at the wrong house. He was like, oh, yeah, no worries. And had a bit of a suss energy, but I just thought that's all teenage boys. I've got the bags back to the car and realized, I bought her some biscuit. I don't know. I thought they looked vegan or special.

The biscuits were no longer in the bag. And because I was pretty worked up, I didn't notice, was they behind his back and he pulled them out already. I don't know, but these kids stolen me biscuits. That's funny. What were they? I love that they were digestives. Oh, to be honest, I went through the whole biscuit aisle, scanning things going, what's vegan? What's this? What's that? There's not a lot of options.

So he's looked through the ban on. Tofu, no. Buckees. No. Whatever broth thing I bought it? No. Biscuits, he's taken. I'll take that. But I got into, again, word of on with my friend being like I did buy you a sweet treat, but some punk kid down the end of your road. This is a dirty punk? How dare he?

It was just such an uncomfortable exchange with a fellow human being. So good. He stole my biscuits. And all I hope is that he didn't realize they were vegan and he bit into it and he hated it. Oh, it just tastes like cardboard. Because vegan trades are disgusting. Oh, that's funny. I just didn't.

Oh, God, I wish I was there. You should have just told him you're an Uber driver and you didn't want to affect your rating. But I love it how he couldn't understand that you were giving a gift to a friend. He was like, are you an Uber? Yeah. He's like, what do you mean drop off? Yeah. I'm like, just give me the freaking cold bag, right?

If you went, I went, I went, six, seven. He would probably said, six, seven, then passed you would have walked off. Much quicker interaction. Yes and Ducko. Monday morning team, great show. If you missed any of it, grab it on the listener or wherever you get your podcasts. Just had my last sip of solo. That's worked out beautifully.

Just enjoyed that. You did. You saved that. I saved that. A hard-earned thirst needs a solo. That's all the tackling. To quench a hard-earned thirst. Is something about quenching a hard-earned thirst?

Yeah, something like that. It dipped into beer, wasn't it? Hard-earned thirst. It's a cold-hard Vic. Yeah, Victoria Bitter. Yeah, that's a V-V-Bener. Yeah, slogan is, go hard, go solo. Of course it is.

I think I was quoting VB. Oh, you're quoting VB. You're not drinking VB or solo. Yeah, you've been drinking VB all morning. You know, explains everything. I'm, um, um, um, hard core. Oh, yeah. Hard earned thirst is V-B.

Yeah, hard earned thirst. You didn't been doing VB yet. I skipped my bloody can, slogans all mixed up. How good's that? Wow, it was the last time you had a VB, ducco? I mean, I don't mind a good brown egg, a little VB. Is that what they're called? Yeah, but little bottles.

A little brown eggs. Yeah, yeah, I go through a few. My par loved a VB. He's at Maltese as they come, but he loved a VB. Yeah, they have a good taste to him, the VBs. And his favourite stubby cooler. Yeah, good on him. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Lai, I hope you're enjoying a VB up in heaven, par board. He would be. And a frickly pear. Oh, I loved a prickly pair and a VB. Good, what a man. It's, it ain't much in life, you know. It's called balance, man.

It's just balance. It's all it is. Get your fruit intake? Absolutely. And quench that Thursday. Yeah, it's practically healthy. Sickly. Cancels each other out.

It really does. Hey, it's been a great show. Have it, Ducco, those vomiting stories? I think I could have taken it. Well, we're still waiting for Lee's story. She's still on the phone somewhere. The poor thing didn't know how radio works. Had Lee never called the show before?

She's called in and got shy guy. I presume shy guy's me. And thought she was on air. She said, what's your story? And she told him. And she went, okay, I'm going to put you on air. And then we come on. We go, hello, Lee.

She goes, I've told my story. Dougo, it just makes me sad that her possibly first experience with us was that. Was that? I know. We've probably lost time about it. I talked around. That would never happen with bads on the phones. Never happened, you know?

What happened there, Shugger? Let's let's let through some lemons. Let's not, you know. He knows who they are. He's gone rogue today. Old mild guys. Don't use lemon as an insult. That lemon's a great insult.

Like, oh, he's, what that person was. I've got said worse, but we're on air. Absolutely. We'll do that in the podcast. I don't know. I reckon lemon hits high life. Someone calls you a lemon. You're like, I'm a dead.

I'm a complete nut of failure. Yeah, but it's like how we've co-opped a dog. Dog is being bad when dogs are good. Why is lemon bad? And I know I'm in a niche category. Lemon is my favourite. You're wearing a lemon dress? You're literally wearing lemon.

But dog, that's the perfect example. It's weird. I don't understand. No one confuses snake. Everyone gets that. But dog, sorry, how can you be man's best friend and be used as an insult? Yeah, I know. And dog is like the most.

Is it because lemons are sour? So it's like they're like. Yeah, see, I wouldn't say that's necessarily dud. No, I agree. Do you know what I'm saying? What is like a dud thing? What is a dud thing? You know what I mean?

You're like a, a. I don't love a pear. Yeah. A powdery apple? Yeah. Oh, you're a non-ripe banana. Just harder to say. What about overripe, which are in our fruit bowl this morning?

You noted the four brown, disgusting bananas. Yeah, haven't they been clean, Babs? It doesn't feel, oh, you're a banana. That's a bad. You're a banana. That's an insult. But then I'd think, you're saying I have a big. Oh.

You've taken into the Johnson. Lemon just hits. I don't know what it is. Lemon was, it slapped coming from you. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what are the, you'd substitute it with. Anyone you're thinking of in particular? Yeah, anyone from today?

No. No, today we're great because we've got Kendrick Lamar tickets. We're not Kendrick tickets. All that, more of that, sorry, all this week as well as the accommodation. I want from you last week when we had Ricky Martin. I had a little, I had a little ready to go live sing-along. I want some Kendrick from me tomorrow. It's quite hard to rap.

They're not like us. He's pretty quick on the old rapid fire raping. Yeah, it's hard to say some of his lyrics as well. That's true. We are live. Yeah, I'd probably, if I'm getting to my flow being baby Kendrick, which is what they call me, that's my street name. Are you baby Kendrick?

Yeah, baby Ken. Baby Kay, you know, I'd forget that I'm rapping. Forget that I'm getting loose. Oh, yeah, okay, then we'd have to dump. It's a whole thing. Yeah, yeah. Don't we just keep singing Ricky Martin? Hey, if you are going to a show tonight, have fun.

Oh, enjoy it. Ricky's in town. Yeah, Ricky's in town. Overshadowed a tiny bit by oasis, but not much. My heaps. Not heaps. I wonder if the Gallagas are friends with Ricky. Oh, if you know your...

They don't strike me as they'd. someone they'd be mates with you know you're in town all the way in Australia, very far from their home nations, Puerto Rico and obviously the UK, do you go, Ricky's at the bloody hotel down the road, should we go have a mimosa? The Gallagas are a bit twisted, man. They've had years of abusing

drugs and alcohol. I reckon they want to hang out with Ricky. Did you see it? Too high energy. I saw a clip online. It was like, he was basically, Noel was like, is anyone here from Sydney? I swear it was in Sydney. And he did that. Everyone's like, yeah, and he's like, beautiful, better than we're from. Don't destroy.

it and then sings the song, everyone's like, it was like, he forgot where he was. He was like, anyone here from Sydney? To be fair, I didn't want to tell you this because I knew you'd make fun. But the first thing Ricky Martin said was, Hey, Sydney, I mean Melbourne. I didn't want to tell you.

Was everyone like, ooh, that gets a crad upside. Particularly Melbourneites. Ricky, yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think he finished Sydney. He sort of was like Sydney, Melbourne. Oh, Ricky. And then he shook his bonbon.

And then all the ladies It doesn't matter where you say we are What matters is what you've got between your legs And how you use it How you use it Well, John has always said that Anyway, out of here, back tomorrow It's Tuesday which means

The blog We got a blog into it. Yeah, yep That's all I go on that. Great chat. Alfa box as well, your chance at 10K 7 and 8 You're 11, mate. Don't worry, mate.

Don't get into it. We're going to tell us how you can go for your run. There you go. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. If it's a cruise of the butt. Jess and Ducko!

That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Macas.