Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Nope

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Ducko is off on paternity leave Producer Shy Guy in the hot seat! We wanna know what have you been banned from and ask the big question of the day... Is soup a meal?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Minecraft movie Happy Meal has arrived at Macca's with one of 12 toys to collect. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Welcome to the podcast, everyone. Obviously, you'd usually hear Ducco doing this little, How are you doing? Mm-hmm. But you got me today.

And obviously, Jess is here, Bad is here. Ducco's off doing other things. I'm furiously scrolling our DMs, Sharko. Oh, yeah. because we just got some wonderful feedback on you and I just wanted to make sure you're across it, but right now... Oh, that's very nice. Well, I got logged out of our Instagram. You know what that means? You haven't been on for a long time. So clearly it's like you've removed access. We need a fresh submission of the password. Well, I do leave all of that to you. Yeah, that's fair. I am very particular. We don't need to go into that.

Shut up. No, I've shared. I've shared. Yeah, this person said, I think Ducco needs to be worried about his job. Shy guy's killing it. Someone said, Ducco who? I mean, Ducco who? Ducco the new dad.

Well, maybe. Hey, that's what we should do. We don't know what stage of labor we're in. We could see on Instagram if he's been active or not. That's a good idea. That could give us an indication of what could be going on. That's a great point. You can't see if the Spotify playlist is currently on, can you?

No. Isn't there something about? No. Oh, sorry, Babs. I'm sorry, don't pay attention. That's okay. I'm not here. You can if you follow them on Spotify.

And if you're on a desktop, you can see. You can see what they're up to, right? But he's been active two hours ago. On Instagram. Yes. Two hours. So I also was induced. We were just having this chat off air.

I was induced the Wednesday night. The idea that the baby would come Thursday. I think they said it's about a 12-hour process. So got induced at 6 p.m. with the instruction, we'll come get you at 6am. Things happened a bit faster for me overnight. Water's broken, whatnot, but still the baby didn't come till about one o'clock. Lucy didn't come till one o'clock the next day. So I'm trying to think if she got induced Sunday night at 9.14, I think I was on a ball watching the Italian

job. Like I was still, things weren't happening, but everyone is different. Every woman is different. So who knows? Who knows? And I have learned so much about the process of, I guess, the last trimester. Yes. Because you've got plenty of friends. You've got a baby shower or a first birthday feels like every second weekend.

But I guess in this. I don't talk to them in depth and obviously they don't share. And obviously it's a bit of a Morgan and Ducco situation. A little bit more unique than most people. And that's obviously good to know and good to learn about too because you don't know about a lot of the processes and stuff.

So I think Babs can maybe attest to this as well. We've learned heaps. Well, particularly you, Babs, you wouldn't have many friends with children. Do you have any? I have... Well, my cousin has Babs, you wouldn't have many friends with children. Not yet. Do you have any? I have, oh, my cousin has two kids, but that's about it. Like, I know of people that I went to school with. You never asked about her birth plan? Not really.

I just kind of felt a bit strange. Like, we've grown up really close and I don't really need to know that. Do you know what I mean? Like, I just never thought to ask because it's nothing that I've really been interested in. But now all of a sudden I'm like, actually, that is quite interesting. Isn't that so funny? And not just pregnancy or parenting, looking, like being in the moment of a conversation and going, when did I start caring so much about these?

And it's not facetious or it's not just like, oh, you're pretending to care. Genuinely, I am so curious about birth stories. But you go, never was. No, I never was. It was kind of just like a thing. I was like, yeah, everyone, you know, people give birth all the time. But now I'm just like, actually, well, there's actually a lot that goes into it and lots going on. The joy I get from ironing would make my 16-year-old self sick. But the appreciation you have for different things, chores, hobbies, conversations, it's pretty wild.

Well, I mean, I am getting older now, I guess. And even that comment at 23. Yeah. Almost 24. When you're 33, you'll go, isn't it funny? I felt like things that were going on in my life, what I cared about. And then you go, what? Yeah.

Like I love doing washing now. Never did. It's great. How sick is it in the morning when you go, oh? Yeah. Like I love doing washing now. Never did. It's great. How sick is it in the morning when you go, oh, today will be a good day to get a load on. It's like the weather's good. Cause I could get it in before nightfall. Especially when I have to, and I have to fold it up and put it away because otherwise it

sends me like, I don't think it smells as nice if it stays in the line all night. Is there anything worse? Oh my God. So we don't have a closed line. We've got the closed horse so we can easily move it around. Yeah. If we leave it out overnight, even if it doesn't rain, it just gets damp again.

Yeah, it does, yeah. And Angus is pretty good. We call our garage the rat house because we want to sort of rat in there. He's pretty good at knowing, oh, we're going to put him in the rat house. I think it gets the stench of the rat house. Yeah. They're not fresh. God forbid there's towels on there.

Yeah. Anyway, a wonderful house. Yeah. They're not fresh. God forbid there's towels on there. Yeah. Anyway, a wonderful show. Yes. A wonderful first crack at the Cherry. We've never just been the three of us, have we? We haven't had the opportunity. Duggo's not had a sick day. Yeah, because last sick, no, we haven't.

Anyway, I think we passed. I think we passed with flying colours. Enjoy the show. We'll be back again tomorrow. Of course. And we be back again tomorrow. Of course. And we're actually taking submissions. If you've got a story or a question. Or just a news article you saw on Daily Mail.

Flick it through. I screenshot this one, guys. What do you reckon about this idea? Here we go. This one might be good for the socials and we can generate some content from there. Kiz, I've got a phone topic for you. Truest fact you know. So not necessarily, remember what we tried to do last week? What's a story no one believes because I told you my mum reckons she's never dropped her phone.

Yeah, bullshit. Thank you. Kiz, and that did not pop off. No one contributed for that. But maybe this is a bit easier because it's just a fact. Yep. Kiz has, like, did you know chainsaws were originally invented by doctors to aid in childbirth? Holy shit. Was that your tum-tum? Yeah. Did you know?

I heard that. I thought there was a chainsaw outside. Or a lawnmower. God, I wonder if the mic picked that up. I don't know if that was really... Scrub back about 15 seconds, guys. Just hit that 15 second button now. I tried to, like, push my stomach in to try and stop it.

Did you not have a chance to make a toast today? No, I had coffee. No, she ate coffee. She didn't get me any. That's noted. Yeah. Also, I didn't go to the bathroom all morning. Oh, yeah, you didn't.

Thank you. I had to refuel after being an athlete yesterday. Oh, we get it. You lost in soccer. Yeah, anyway, that was my stomach problem. You'll hear that in Babs' blog later. You will. We do that every day.

Yeah. Maybe we land with the blog every day. Yeah, anyway, that was my stomach troubling. You'll hear that in Babs' blog later. You will. We do that every day. Yeah. Maybe we land with the blog every day. Yeah, I think so. Same time or change it up? I'll let Babs decide how good she thinks she is. Well, if anyone has any ideas that I can talk about too. No, no, no. Anyway, circling back, what do we think?

Truest fact you know. I like it. Yep. I can't think of any right now, but I know that they're up there. I got one, but I know you're going to hit me with the niche sting because I learned it from Bee Movie. You know I'm watching Despicable Me at the moment. You really liked it. I started the second one last night.

Oh, you didn't finish it though, so you weren't engrossed. I fell asleep. That can't be a good review for Steve Carell and co. I do like it, but I feel weird watching a kid's movie as an adult. That's my whole everyday. And I know no one's going to walk in and then judge me for watching Despicable Me, but that's how I feel. Sometimes I feel like when I watch, because I've been

watching The Wild Thornbreeze too. Oh my god, how good's The Wild Thornbreeze? A laser! But when I hear someone walking past the house, walking the dog. Is your living room in your front? In the front of the house? No, but the front door in the hallway, I feel like the noise travels through my house. They'll be judging the person who lives here.

Like, that adult's watching the wild boar. How do they know a kid doesn't live there, though? I turn down the volume. Ah, here we go. 13, 10, 60. What are you ashamed of? That's like when you pull up to a stoplight and you're like really quiet. You turn down the radio.

I do that too. So you're like, no one can judge me stoplight and you're like really wide. You turn down the radio. I do that too. You turn down the music so you're like no one can judge you. No, so I like to sing along and I'm more often than not sure if I will have show tunes or Disney music. I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. Dude can write a freaking Disney song. Moana, are you joking? Encanto, great songs.

The surface pressure song from Encanto Anyway You know when you can feel eyes on you Yes that's why I turn it down I know this will not shock you I start putting on a bit of a show I don't look at them Because then they'll be embarrassed

But I go We've got 40 seconds here at this stoplight Put on a show for this bloke Jesus I keep my clothes on What are you doing? Yeah there's like You can only do so much seated. You'd be surprised how much I could do seated.

I'm body rolling, torso only. I'm doing the head roll. You're looking dead straight. Well, I can look dead straight or just off to the side, but I don't full turn 90 degrees to make eye contact, but I see them looking, so I'll put on a show. I do think- I'll have to pull up next to you at the lights

please do put on a show and then try and guess what I'm singing to oh yeah that's a fun game because it's not like it's that loud

no but I really like that what are you ashamed is it is that too heavy what are you ashamed of it's what are you embarrassed

what are you embarrassed by what are you embarrassed by what are you doing what are you doing that's embarrassed what are you doing that you don't want other people to know

you're doing? Yes. Watching Despicable Me. Singing at the stoplight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's fine. I'll write it down so we don't get.

Sorry. Circling back. Truest fact you know. Yeah. I like it. You want to put it out there? We can find some examples. All right.

Have a think. We can do that tomorrow. We've already got our phoners, guys. Why don't I just put it on the story? Yeah. And that way we can maybe just bounce around and read people's submissions. I feel like the beta test did not fly just then, but I love the, what are you embarrassed by?

What do you do that you're embarrassed by? Yeah. And if all that fails, Gaga tickets tomorrow at 7am. Unfortunately, if you listen to the podcast, you can't play this game. So you have to tune into the live show. That's right. But it's really easy. One second of a Gaga song.

I know. You just got to beat Renee. She might mess it up. She might. But enjoy the show. That's right. But it's really easy. One second of a Gaga song. I know, you just gotta beat Renee. Yes. She might mess it up. She might. But enjoy the show! Jess and Ducko in the morning. There's only one show to wake up with. Jess and Ducko! The only pop show I listen to. The rest are

rubbish. Broadcasting live. Turn it in, turn it out. All I want is noise. Turn it up, doing it now. All I want is a noise. Turn it up, turn it up. It's about to go off. Jess. I'd like to come back as the cheese grater because they don't have to work particularly hard.

Ducko. A gift. You're giving Daddy a gift. Producer Shy Guy. I can't scream. I genuinely can't scream. Producer Babs. Put my undies on backwards.

Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducko. Lights, camera, action. Howdy, howdy, let's get rowdy. We're getting rowdy indeed. Good morning, team. Morning, Jess. This feels weird for me. I'm on the other side of the desk.

You are. As we said last week, it feels weird. I'm looking at you from a completely different angle because you are in Young Ducko's seat. Do I look like a young ducko? You look like a young ducko. I'll take that. I know he's got a couple of years on you, but absolutely. You're bringing the same energy already, Shy Guy,

and I'm very proud of you. It's only 6.01, so. I know, but we've already had a couple of laughs. We have. The energy is feeling. We'll keep it going. We'll keep the momentum going. Yes!

Velocity, if you will. That's a deep cut Seinfeld reference for my Seinfeld friends out there. All energy is feeling. We'll keep the momentum going. Yes. Velocity, if you will. That's a deep cut Seinfeld reference for my Seinfeld friends out there. All two of them. And Ducko's not here to press that button. Don't do it, shy guy. You mean this one? No. Oh, hang on.

See, first thumble. Ori didn't put the button on. There we go. This one. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. Oh, look. It's like Ducko is here with us.

And, of course, he is in spirit. Yeah. But we are, I guess, just waiting now, just waiting for any news out of the delivery room. We could get a text any moment. We could get a text any moment, but we're not going to bug him. No. And I'm sure they're going to enjoy their little love bubble

and we'll be broad in the loop. I've already had a few people message me, guys, saying, can we talk to Ducko as soon as the baby's born? I'm like they're going to enjoy their little love bubble and we'll be broad in the loop. I've already had a few people message me, guys, saying, can we talk to Ducco as soon as the baby's born? I'm like, absolutely, when he's ready. It's all on his and Morgan's time. Absolutely, absolutely. So we are thinking of you guys, if they do have the listener app. They might have us on in the suite.

Well, they should have the push playlist on, hopefully. Wow. You're so right, Babs. Alternate, alternate. In the ads, they'll put the playlist on. Yes. We worked for a month on that playlist. Four hours.

Not to go to waste. Not to go to waste. Compiled by the rice cookers. Did you end up laminating that sheet of paper with the name? No. Oh. Sorry, I did not. So you're telling me it's going to get splattered?

It's going to get splattered, yeah. Okay, well, hopefully you can still make out. You can then frame it after. It'll have all the, you know. Good shy guy. Did I ever tell you I had a memento, besides the kid out of the delivery suite? A lady came and took my placenta

in an esky. She turned it into pills, but before she turned it into pills for me to eat, she stamped my placenta using like inks and stuff. So I have a... I should bring it into the studio. Oh. Might be nice.

What do you mean stamped it? So she basically got it. It's quite a large organ. And she got a piece of paper and pressed it onto the paper. Almost like, you know, as a kid, if you do that with leaves. Like when you trace a leaf? Exactly, shy guy. So you're getting an imprint of the actual placenta.

Imprint is probably the better word. Right. So I've got that. That was my memento. She's put it in like an esky with a blue lid. Exactly. Like the tradies have on the job site. We had to bring our own esky.

She was one of the first people we text. Hey, baby's born. Come get the placenta. Because she needs it fresh. On ice? That was Angus's job. I'm not sure if he packed it with ice. You'd hope so.

He'd have to go to Shell and buy one of those bags. It's one thing to have an esky. It's another to not have it actually chilled, is it? I've never thought about this. Neither have I. And there was a bit going on for me. So Angus was in charge of placenta in esky. And Anna came, got the esky, and then a couple of days later rocked back up with pills and this artwork.

So what does the pill do for you? What's the benefit? Allegedly. Allegedly, I don't know how much science or testing has been around it. Apparently it's really good for energy, for mood, because basically your body has created this thing and it's just going to go in

the bin. So the idea is like it's really high in, don't quote me man, iron, protein, some. And I had a really good postpartum journey. So, was it the pills? Maybe, yeah. Who's to say? But would it only affect if you took the pills?

If you gave the pills to Babs, would it have the same effect? Now that's a question. I mean, I wouldn't eat them, no offence. No, that's fair. That's a hard one. That's fair. It's a tough pill to swallow. If I said to you though, Babs, are you feeling really under the weather?

Maybe you're a bit hungover. Yeah. Not feeling fine up for a Monday. This pill will help you. Yeah. Would you give it a go? Yeah, not feeling fine up for a Monday, this pill will help you. Yeah. Would you give it a go? Yeah, I would.

It's all natural. I would, yeah. I made it. Made it myself. I made it myself. So anyway, good luck to Morgan and her placenta. Yes. And of course-

And get the Esky. Get the Esky. Pack it with ice. We do have a wonderful week of shows with you. Before we actually go on a little break ourselves, we're all going on paternity leave with Ducko. We've got Lady Gaga tickets, team. We've got a double pass to give away to the Mayhem Ball,

Acor Stadium, Friday, December 12. We're going to play a little game all this week. Stick around after seven. You'll find out how you can get involved. It's a carryover champ situation. I don't think we've ever done a carryover champ. Not with stakes this high. Couldn't agree more.

And it's funny. These tickets are huge. I think you saw me on Instagram last night, Shy Guy, trying to really ask for the Rice Cooker support this week, throwing out some of the topics we were going to talk about. Bullying. Soup. Like we're going both ends of the spectrum. But the Gaga tickets are the real draw card this week. But we're going to talk about, bullying, soup. Like, we're going both ends of the spectrum. But the Gaga tickets are the real drawcard this week.

But we're going to have a lot of fun. Stick with us. Oh, this is your part now, isn't it? Yeah. Go. Yeah, I didn't know when to come in, so I'll just come in now. Yep. We're going to do a bit of toe chatting.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. This feels weird doing it, but come along the journey with me, please, Rice Cookers. Commit, man. I did. It just feels weird. You haven't finished. I've never done this part of the job before.

But you haven't finished. Keep going. What do I have to say? You don't have to say Jess and Ducco. Oh, Jess and Ducco. Ducco's not here. You're on here. What's coming up?

It's 6, 10, and 20 seconds. What's coming up? Alpha Bucks is coming up. 20 minutes away. You know how that works, but we'll tell you the later when you play. I don't know. What else? Am I doing everything?

That feels good. You already need a little checklist. You do need a checklist. Because I don't know how to do this job. Pardon me. I thought you had been a panel op slash anchor. I've been a panel op, but never the anchor. So you've been the silent one pushing the buttons.

I've been the silent one pushing the buttons. Oh, well, there you go. I've never done the whole chaperone here at 131060. Hang on a minute. Did Ducko know that when you auditioned? Because I thought he was coming that. You beat me. Our boss definitely knew that.

Ducko might not. I thought you beat me in the auditions because you had the experience. No. None. Just purely based on the audition, you beat me. Yeah. Apparently so. Well, no.

Well done. Thanks. Hey, that was your first one. You've already got a DM from one of our absolute wonderful rice cookers. Thank you. She said I'm doing a great job. Thanks, Sophia. I'll reply later.

She replied to me, though. I filmed you as I walked in because you were sitting in Daco's chair. It sort of discombobulated me for a second. Yeah. Wanted to capture that moment. And she responded being like, fix your posture, shy guy. Chest out. Shoulders back.

Righto. Let's not. But I don't want to dilute her compliment of you. So let's move forward. Let's see how I am on Thursday. I posture up. I'll be like, that's Ed Sheeran, Azizem, bang, bang, alpha bucks. You'll be giving the meaning of Azizem in Persian.

Yeah. My love. That's right. Hey, see, there we go. He's done his research. Where's my tip? I don't know how this conversation is going to go for your confidence, though, Shaga. It could go either way.

Try me. This could give you a real boost or knock you down a peg or two. Friday, I posted a little cute picture to the Jess and Ducko Instagram. I also shared it on my personal because I'm proud of what we do. I can't speak for you two, uncollaborating with all the posts. I didn't uncollaborate. I just didn't accept. No, I uncollaborate. I just didn't accept. I uncollaborated.

Babs didn't accept. I'm very happy to share anything that goes on the Jess and Ducko socials on my personal. And I was inundated, shy guy. I was inundated. Really? The photo saying, happy last day before paternity leave, Ducko. A little group shot in the hallway.

Group shot in the hallway. Nice to get you guys in front of the camera for once. Unfortunately, I think there was maybe two messages back to Ducko, a couple of love hearts, a couple of all the bests. The rest of the replies were about your toes, young man. Oh, no. Your toes. You were wearing a hoodie and jeans, but down low,

just your faithful slides. Yeah, my favourite Adidas slides are the most comfortable shoes in the world. Absolutely. What a great plug. Unsponsored? No, I wish. Not sponsored. Babs, let's work on getting Shy Guy some credit for that.

But your dogs were out, young man. They were out. Your dogs were out. And may I just read you a couple of the responses? Yeah. I thought you were going to crop them out, by the way. Nah, man. And I've trained Tobin, who took the picture, didn't even need me to remind him.

Full body. What's the point of cutting out the shoe? I've chosen my shoe with the outfit. Don't cut off shoes. It's a lesson for everyone. So your dogs were in it. Carly has said, what are those? Those are toes.

Someone has said, Shay said, look at the length of his toes with the wide-eyed eye emoji. I do have finger toes. Lee has said, I'm blind. And it's funny you say that. Deb said, those are legit finger toes. A former colleague of yours, shy guy. Oh, which one? One Matt Baisley.

He said, I can't believe he still thinks this is okay in a workplace. The man is part ostrich. Now, I'm not familiar with ostrich toes. What are the numbers? Can you Google that? They're really long. Are they? Yeah.

We've also had, oh, no, my brother's best mate, Lama, he got in touch, shy guy. Oh, yeah, good to hear. We're going to need to find some money in the budget to fly my brother up, circling back to Ostrich Toes. Yeah, sorry, they have two big long toes. That's it. Just two.

Okay. It's all toe. It's not foot. Thanks, Basil. Lama got in touch. Now, he has said, I can't believe we found someone who might be able to give your brother a run for his money. I've not seen my brother's toes in a decade.

Yes. Apparently, he's got quite the toe on him. Lama is dobbing him in. That's what he wants to see. He also said, I'll think of other things to expose him. So he wants to just bully my brother now. Sure. But someone, this was my favorite comment.

Okay. Montana. Montaigne, maybe. A rice cooker. A rice cooker has said, why are you shy guys? Big toe longer than my life expectancy. And can I just say? There's no better compliment than that, I think.

That is phenomenal gear, Montaigne. I love that. And how long did Montaigne take to come up with that? I want to know. Was that straight off the cuff? So I shared that Friday morning. Ooh, she's come back 24 hours. Her DM was Saturday morning.

But she could have seen it in the morning. She could have. She could have. She could have, exactly. All right, Montaigne, thank you for the compliment. Yes, yes. How do you feel? Everyone now- Exposed.

Exposed. Yeah, yeah. They're just feet, guys. They're just feet. I could make a lot of money off them maybe after this feedback. I know. I know Ducko a couple of years ago tried to get some foot peaks going and unfortunately was unable to sell.

Maybe this week while he's away. Maybe that's our arc for the week. You know, a boss loves an arc. He does love an arc. Let's get a foot sponsorship and everything. Are you getting any attention now over the weekend? Nah. Nah?

Nah. Okay. Well, I didn't share it on my personal email because I didn't want the attention. Oh, fair enough. Well, it's Luke underscore Sheffley. No, there's no underscore actually. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco.

No Ducco today, but Babs and Jess obviously here with myself. It feels weird if I just said Shy Guy then. That feels weird. Do I say it's my Shy Guy here for a minute? I think so, because whilst you have contributed, obviously, the past year and a half we've been together, people might still be associating name to voice. I mean, it was well into your year here.

People going, who's that bloke? I'm like, that's Shy Guy. Not producer snooze. Not producer snooze. We'll just talk about my toes actually just as quickly. That's right. I was in Undated over the weekend, Shy Guy, when your dogs were out on the Jess and Ducko Instagram page.

My favorite comment from Montaigne, why is Shy Guy's big toe longer than my life expectancy? Yeah, a lot of response from the rice cookers. And because you tagged me in the story, how many followers do you think I got from that? I asked you how much attention you got. You went, oh, not much. Yeah, but I was a little bit nervous because our first break together,

so I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing. You've got to self-promote. First break will be fine. This is the second. Milestones. I don't know. 10? More.

14? More. 22? 23. I don't know. 10? More. 14? More. 22? 23. I've got 23 followers. Off your toes. From my toes. And gender breakdown?

Not that we see or care about gender in 2025, but I'm just curious. Mostly men. Mostly gentlemen? Yes. Yes. Well, the number of... A good mix. A couple of businesses.

That's odd. Like nail salons? Yeah. What sort of businesses? Hunter Living. Hey, homewares. They've got to be homewares. Yeah, and I think another radio station called Joy followed me.

I don't know what Joy is, but they followed me. I think Joy is the Jesus station. Is it? Oh, that's good for us. Anyway. We do a lot of hymns on this show. We do love a hymn here. Anyway, you know who else loves a hymn?

Hey, it's Babs, and this is my book. Men's Operation Superstar Brats. She only loves one hymn, and his name's Jethro. Thank you very much. Hi, Babs. Hi. Do you want Jethro to say I love you? Yes.

Oh, that's nice. How long have you been together? Almost three years. Oh, that's a long time. You're loving each other. You should be saying that by now. Oh, that's nice. How long have you been together? Almost three years. Oh, that's a long time. You're loving each other. You should be saying that by now. Yeah, you should be. I would think so.

How are you? I'm good. I played my first soccer game yesterday. And I have to apologise. Ducca and I made a big song and dance. We would be there for your first game. It's okay. Didn't realise it was aligning with the birth of his child

and I was busy. So I'm so sorry. Fair enough. Honestly, you didn't realise it was aligning with the birth of his child and I was busy. So I'm so sorry. Fair enough. Honestly, you didn't need to come. No, we had the body paint ready. I was going to be the first B. Ducker was going to be the A. I was going to be the second B.

Just run around. Shy Guy was ready with his S and we absolutely left him hanging. I was in Dubbo on the weekend. Oh. Well, that's okay. How did you go? Oh, it was something. I have never felt so unfit in my life.

Yes. How long is a soccer match? Well, for us, it was 80 minutes, but they... It's a long time. It's a long time. Is that two halves? Well, because it was a trial game, they did quarters, but that was enough. I have never felt so gross yesterday.

Are you looking at the goalkeeper going, can we switch positions? I just wanted to sit on the bench. Yes. I was like, get me off. I was wheezing. I'll be vibe so gross yesterday. Are you looking at the goalkeeper going, can we switch positions? I just wanted to sit on the bench. Yes. I was like, get me off. I was wheezing. I'll be vibe captain. Yes. I was wheezing.

I just couldn't. I was just standing on the field like the whole time. How far in do you reckon you were gassed into the minutes? Like five minutes. And then I was just standing there. I was like, what am I doing? Adult sports not for me. Look, the fact you put yourself out there to join,

it's all women, isn't it, this league? It is, yeah, yeah. The fact you joined an all-women soccer league, you know, mid-20s, good on you because that is, it's daunting to start anything in adulthood. It was so scary. I was so nervous going into it and I didn't think I was going to be and then the whole game I was just running around. I was like, what am I doing?

The inner monologue can be your worst enemy. It's so embarrassing and I kept doing like air swings and not kicking the ball. Oh, that's the worst. And Geoffrey came and watched and he was just like laughing the whole time. How many air swings are we talking? Oh, a couple. But I also at one point was running too fast and my legs kept going

and I thought like I'd fall on some lady but I just kept going and landed on the ground. What do you mean? You tripped over nothing. Yes. Like I was running too fast. After air swinging. Like, yeah, I was running too fast and my legs just kept going.

Sorry, Babs, haven't you been training for three months? Yes, I have. Did they teach you to only... But it just felt like as soon as I got on the field, all that training just went like out of the way. Did you not work on you kick when the ball's there? Was that not part of the training? I was chasing and it just, it was just a whole thing. And also I got severely sunburned yesterday too.

Did you not have SPF on? Well, I had it on my arms, but not my face. Oh, you've got to protect the face. Yeah, so yesterday I was like lounge down. You are looking rosy actually. All my eyelids were swollen last night. Okay. I reckon you're done.

Yeah, I know. You've had it go. It's too much for me. So what do we think? Are we training this week? Oh no, it's Easter this weekend. So have you're done. Yeah, I know. You've had a go. It's just too much for me. So what do we think? Are we training this week? Oh, no, it's Easter this weekend. So have you got a bye? So our first official game, because that was just a trial,

just to kind of see how everyone went, which wasn't good, but that's okay, is in like three weeks' time. What was the chat like, half-time or at the end of the game from the coach? Everyone was really nice, but I just, it felt, it was like, yeah. That sounds like a lie. The coach was yelling at you afterwards. No, but even the coach can determine lost cause. What's the point of yelling?

Yeah, I would rather them just say that was awful. Like, don't do that again, because then I would learn. Absolutely. Hey Babs, wait for the ball to be in your vicinity before you kick. I mean, they were kind of helping while I was on the field. They were like, you know, move this way. I was like, I've got no idea, guys. Well, I'm glad we missed that match.

Shy Guy, we wait for three weeks. Are you aggressive on the field, Babs? By the end, I was trying to throw some shoulders, like some elbows in. Because her legs were not working. Your legs were just throwing to no one. So what were your shoulders doing? If I can't kick the ball perfectly, at least I can run at people and just be like, I'm here. You know what? I love that. Find your strength, at least I can run at people and just be like, I'm here. You know what?

I love that. Find your strength. Yeah. Find how you can serve your team. It's obviously not kicking or scoring. No, it's not. It's not doing anything skillful. That's for sure.

So chat and elbows. Yeah, chat and elbows. We regroup. We regroup. But you know what is a game you could win at? Alpha Bucks. And we're playing that next. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. that. Alpha Bucks. Am I playing that next? Alpha Bucks. First one I'm doing. Everything today is going to be a bit of a milestone for me, just so all the rice cookers know. Don't buck it up. Did you say buck? I said buck. I hope you did. Did you put us in delay? I hope so.

We'll find out later. Let's not test it. You know I swear like a sailor. Don't stuff it up, shy guy. Hit me with the rules, baby. All right. Ten seconds. Nope.

Nope. Ten questions, 30 seconds. You get all ten right, we'll give you ten grand. If not, we'll give you some from Minks, our adult boutique. We'll tell you more about that later. Jamie's here though. Jamie. Morning. Hi. Jamie. Jamie. I'm right, we'll give you 10 grand. If not, we'll give you some from Minks, our adult boutique. We'll tell you more about that later. Jamie's here though.

Jamie, morning. Hi. Jamie. Jamie, are you just joining the show at, you know, 6.38? Or have you been with us from 6am this morning? I was about 6.15 when I had to get up and run my husband's work. Oh, okay. So have you heard a little bit of the show so far?

How do you think we're doing, ducko-less? Fine. Fine. Hey, fine's a great word for me to work. Oh, okay. So have you heard a little bit of the show so far? How do you think we're doing, ducko-less? Fine. Fine. Hey, fine's a great word for me to use, so that's an A-plus in my book. Jamie, we often, me especially, are a reprimand shy guy because everything's fine, and I'm like, we shouldn't be striving for fine, but if Jamie's saying the show's fine, I'm going to take that as a massive compliment. That's a big deal. And let's get your 10 grand, babe.

What do you want to spend the money on? Our car got crashed into the other day, so we're hoping to fix that. Yes, fair enough. That is so annoying for you. It's one of those times where you go, everything happens for a reason. I don't think so. That is just pure annoyance. The letter you're going to work with today, babe, it's P.

P for Peugeot or Porsche, if you will. You ready to rock? Sure. Okay, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P, I need you to name. A colour. Purple. A technology brand. Pass. An animal. Pass. A music artist. Pass. Pink. Plumber. Pictionary. Pen. Painting.

Pinky. Phantom of the Opera. Pass. Pig. Pinky. A movie. Phantom of the Opera. A technology brand. Pass. An animal. Pig. A technology brand. Oh!

How'd she go, Shaga? Were you marking? Yeah, I'm marking. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Jesus! Were you technology brand away? We came back to all of them. We were, yeah, technology brand away because we got pig on a second go. Oh, my God.

So you could have said Panasonic, Philips, Pioneer. You see the stereos. You see the TVs. Jamie, Jamie. I was thinking phones. Oh, fair enough. You were exceptional. Thank you.

I'm so sorry. You don't walk away with the 10 grand, but what does she walk away with, Shy Guy? She walks away with 100 bucks to spend at Minx Adult Boutique. Minx.com.au. That's Minx with three X's. That's hot, Jamie. That's very hot. Thank you very much. You're welcome, darling. Thanks for joining the show. Have fun. We will. We are having fun.

We are having fun. Does our boss like it? We'll find out after nine. He hasn't texted me. Has he texted you? No. Has he texted that? I don't want him to. I think he knows not to. Okay. Because it'll throw me off. Let's get through the first one. Jess and Ducko. It's a bit of a naughty at 6.40 for you. I am very lucky to have such a great relationship with my neighbour, so much so that he tells me some things.

And he said, this is a great one for the radio. Now, what do we often say? Whenever someone prefaces a story, this is great for the radio, you're like, okay, we'll see about that. Nine times out of ten, it's garbage. And you go, thank you. That'll never make it to air. So when my neighbour did say that, let's call him Lance,

I went, all right, hit me. But I thought it was pretty good gear. Okay, let's hear it. He was sharing that, look, he was going to be away for the weekend, so his sister was going to be house-sitting. So thanks for the heads up. Obviously someone that I don't know going in and out of your house, I won't have to call the cops.

It'll be your sister. No one's breaking in. It's your sister. Exactly. But he went, funny, ask her about my puppetry of the penis. No, God. No, God, please, no. Ask her about the puppetry of the penis.

And he kind of buried the lead there, which I've just done for you, but that's how he told me. Okay. When his daughter was born, going back two decades ago, I think the daughter might be around your age, Babs, 23, 24. They live interstate, the brother and the sister. But she had said, you know, I want to see some vision of my niece, you know. And back in the day, camcorder.

So the videotape. The JVC. The JVC. He put the JVC, bubble wrapped it and popped it in the post to literally send a video because you can't just send the iPhone message, flick a WhatsApp video. He had to genuinely get the VHS and put it in the post. He thought, all right, I'll hear from her in a couple of days once it gets to her and she's had a chance to watch it.

He calls him. She calls him, you know, a couple of days later, screaming at him on the phone. You sick mother, what is wrong with you? How could you? And she's, and he's thinking, excuse me, I've just sent you a beautiful video of the young baby and there might have been a bit of the birth suite, but he was really conscious. There was nothing untoward in the birth suite.

Like he had that handheld. Yeah. Why would you send that to me? And he's going, what? What's your problem? She went on to say, I don't need to see you practicing your puppetry of the penis. No, God! What?

No, God, please, no! The tape he'd taken to the hospital and then had continued filming was an old tape, shall I go? Yeah. A tape that he had been practicing his own puppetry of the penis on a handheld, like, camera stand where he'd just been practising the moves. I've got them here, the wind surfer and the monkey's tongue. Familiar.

But obviously when push came to shove and his partner went into labour, he went, quick, grab the camera. That was the tape still in the camera, and he thought he'd recorded over all that monkey business. Unfortunately, not completely, and that's the tape he'd recorded over all that monkey business. Unfortunately, not completely. And that's the tape he'd sent to his sister. So she's watched the whole thing. And then it's just gone that fuzz.

There's Lance in his bedroom practicing the wind surf. Oh, God. No thanks. Jess and Ducko. No Ducko today or for the rest of this week. He's got other things on that are taking a bit of priority over us. Of Ducko's plate, we are usually the steak, you know?

We're a big part of that plate. This week, we're not even on that dinner plate, baby. No, and that's okay. And that is absolutely okay. We're sending so much love to he and Morgan as, you know, we await any news. All in due time, of course. Thank you for being with us. You can always get involved in the show, 131060.

We would love to have your contributions now more than ever. And, of course, the text line is there, 0488881069. Already getting some DMs, Shy Guy, about, hey, Jess, potential topic for you later in the week. We should do a segment of, like, you bring us the topic. Yes. Like a topic roulette or in the week. We should do a segment of like, you bring us the topic. Yes. Like a topic roulette or something. Yes.

People are bringing me some stories they want to dissect. People are bringing me just some generic topical content. They go, hey, put this out to the right. We'll take an article. I'll put you on the payroll. We'll take a news.com. Asterix, I won't, but you'll get credit and I will thank you wholeheartedly. So yes, thank you for being with us.

Huge week, though, Shai. I nearly called you ducko there. Well, that might happen. Huge week, though. We're not taking our foot off the gas just because we're running to Easter. Of course, Good Friday this Friday. We've got Lady Gaga tickets. Yeah, big deal.

Gaga is one of the biggest artists in the world. Couldn't agree more. Which I think, quintessential, that's highlighted by the fact she headlined Gaga is one of the biggest artists in the world. Couldn't agree more. Which I think, quintessential, that's highlighted by the fact she headlined the biggest festival in the world, Coachella. This is a bit of a live. This is Abracadabra, the big hit at the moment. What are the socials saying, Babs? What's the feedback after weekend one?

There obviously is another weekend for Coachella. She'll headline that too. All reports? Pretty good. I mean, everyone's raving about Lady Gaga's set. I've heard some really good things about it. The production. I mean, not just her vocals, but the production and the dancing

and the set. Yeah, everyone. There was a really cool, she did a few mashups too with songs, like Abracadabra going into Judas and everyone's like, whoa. Like, yeah. So all good. But Charlie XCX also had a few people. Your girl.

Yeah. Show up on a set, which was cool. Yep. She had Lorde, Billie Eilish and Troye Sivan all join her. She got a lot of friends. Did Lorde do any new music? Cause she's been teasing new music. No, she's just been teasing it.

She sang her song with her, what is it, Girl So Confusing. Okay. Yeah. So maybe Weekend 2 because they come back for Weekend 2, right? I think that's how it works. It's the same. It's just you choose which weekend. Yeah.

I'm assuming it's the same, but yeah. Maybe she'll bring all new friends. Well, that's the thing. Well, 125,000 people were at Coachella. Damn. Seen some celebrity like spotting like Justin Bieber was there with his wife and a couple

influencers and everything. All my feed all weekend has been all the influencers all the Aussie influencers over there and they're wearing these designer outfits

that look so uncomfortable. I'm like are you there to dance or are you there to take pics? It never looks practical. No. Not at all.

Some of the influencers I'm seeing the gigantic platform heels. I know. You're in the desert. If you the influence I'm seeing, the gigantic platform heels. I know. You're in the desert. If you can dance like that, go for it. It's 35 degrees over there at the moment. Damn.

I know. I must say those pics in front of that Ferris wheel, though. It would be fun. Very cool. But I would not pay $25 for a vodka Red Bull. And I was seeing up to 12-hour wait times. People are saying the camping situation, it's giving fire festival. Yeah.

But let's focus on the positives. And certainly Gaga seems to be the absolute takeaway. She's pretty much all I've been hearing about. Stick with us after the ads, how you can win Gaga tickets after this. Jess and Ducko. Hi, it's Lady Gaga. You've waited long enough, little monsters. Lady Gaga presents the Mayhem Ball, a core stadium Friday, December 12th. Tickets and info at livenation.com.au. Lady Gaga! It was nice of Gaga to do that voiceover for us, wasn't it?

I know. She was busy rehearsing and then executing that amazing set at Coachella. And we're like, Gaga, we need you to sing Justin Docko's one second song going for us. Oh, I think I can fit that in. She was like, I'm happy to, guys. In the week leading up to Easter, you know, everyone's busy. Everyone has got their priorities in order, of course. It's family time,

school holidays, it's heckers. So she went, I'll get their attention. I'm sure she factored all those New South Wales things into account. Absolutely. I am going to get their attention, because you sure she factored all those New South Wales things into account. Absolutely. I am going to get their attention because you've got to double pass, Jess. Shy guy babs. We've got to make sure people are sitting up a bit straighter. If you would like a double pass to Gaga, you need to get involved this week.

We are looking for a carryover champ because come Friday, if you are the last one standing, you walk away with those tickets. Thursday. We're not here Friday. You can come if you want, but I standing, you walk away with those tickets. Thursday. We're not here Friday. You can come if you want, but I'm not going to be here. I'm good. I'll be working out what red meat not to eat. Oh, yeah.

I hope my mum's listening. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. Carry over champ, you need to identify the Gaga song. We're only going to give you one second with which to do it, though. Not a millisecond over. Not a millisecond over. Not a millisecond over. Shy guy.

He's a rules guy. He's Mr. One. Yeah. One second. Let's go to Karen. Good morning, Karen. Hi, how are you? Couldn't be better, babe.

Keen to see Gaga do her thing live. Oh, absolutely. Saw her 11 years ago. She was fantastic. Oh, my God. Well, the last time she was in Australia. Oh, that must have been exceptional. All right.

To be there again, Karen, the first step is identifying the song today, which means you'll come back tomorrow. Here is one second. Give me the name of this Gaga song. Alejandro. Oh! I love Alejandro. Oh. I love Alejandro.

I'm sorry. It is not. I should do a dong kind of thing, but I didn't have one ready. That's on me. My bad. That's okay. Hey, Ryan. Let's go to Ryan.

Hi, Ryan. Good morning. How are you? Couldn't be better, Ryan. Did you hear Karen's guess just then? Want to make sure we don't double up. Yes, I did. All right. So it's not Alejandro, but you get the one second again.

Shy Guy. Here it is. Poker Face. I'm sorry, Ryan. It is not Poker Face. Excellent guesses, guys. These are all absolute bangers. And we might have these songs later in the week.

Maybe. 13, 10, 60. We're not going to leave here until someone, because we need a champion for tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Renee, hello. Hello. Renee, just quickly,

how do you think the show's going so far without Ducko? Yeah, it's going good. It's going good, all right. We've heard Alejandro. Incorrect. Poker face. Incorrect. Here's the one second again.

What do we think, Renee? I think it's Judas. You think it's Judas? Yeah. That's correct. How good is this song, Renee? Oh, dang it. Is this your favourite gargle or you just knew it from those opening bars?

It is definitely, I like knew it from the opening bars, but top three for sure. Top three. All right, Renee, now I've just got to do a little quick bit of admin. Are you available to join us same time tomorrow because you're now the person to be, but you obviously need to come back and get it correct again tomorrow. Are you up for the task?

I am. Yes, Queen, all right. See you tomorrow, same time. Send you back to Babs, Renee. But again, to everyone else, if Renee stumbles, you can swoop in. It's up for grabs. So join us same time tomorrow, double pass to Gaga. Yeah.

Hey, Jess, I'm going to tell you about a little argument me and my dad had on the weekend, okay? Oh, no. Everything's fine. Okay, good. Yeah. I'll tell you about it next. Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. No Ducko this week. He's on paternity leave, which is exciting. Turn my mic on. You've got it on. You've got your own on button. Hey, hey.

You can do it. Ducko always turns my mic on. Yeah've got it on. You've got your own on button. Hey, hey. You can do it. Duggo always turns my mic on. Yeah, but you know what? I'm trying to do something that he does and put his on first while he does the back announcing stuff and then turn yours on, which I'm trying to take from him, but I'm forgetting to turn yours on. So I just need to turn them all on at the same time maybe. I think so.

Okay. Don't worry. I won't talk over you while you're doing your mankiness. Oh, please talk over me. Please. I was going to say some gear about Duggo's not here making me a busy woman, but my mic wasn't on. So no one will ever hear my great joke. I'm a busy woman over here doing your maintenance. Oh, please talk over me. Please. I was going to say some gear about, Doug is not here making me a busy woman, but my mic wasn't on, so no one will ever hear my great joke.

What's coming up, Shy Guy? We've just put Renee in as our carryover champ for the Gaga tickets. That'll be back tomorrow. And of course, Alpha Bucks plays in just over half an hour's time. $10,000. I know the big man will be very, very filthy if we give away $10,000

and he's not here. I know, wouldn't it be great though? I mean, it would be very stressful for me because I've barely worked out the rules if you heard the 6.30 game. But in the run-up to Easter and school holidays, of course, we know $10,000 would come in very, very handy. So join us at 8 for that. Yes.

Jess, my dad was, we went to Dubbo on the weekend to meet my sister. How was that? What'd you go to the zoo? No, we didn't go to the jail. No. I also learned that jail was spelt differently. Yeah. With a G instead of a J. I always think that's alright. No, me and...

I think she was supporting you. I read it as like goal. Yeah. But is that pronounced? Oh, we all sound so dumb. I was going to say, me and Duc you. I read it as like goal. Yeah. But is that pronounced? Oh, we all sound so dumb. I was going to say, me and Ducco had the exact same conversation a couple months ago. Yeah. Because he didn't understand that either. Just privately? Did you go for matcha without us?

Yeah, we were like, how did you go to jail? So I got you and I going for ramen today or something back? Yeah, I'm happy to. There's some pamphlets in the Airbnb and I was like, what's a goal? This looks like a jail. But it's G-A-O-L? Yeah. Jail.

Just what's wrong with the J? That's like, so really quick pivot. It's like Guernsey and Jersey. Yes. I think it's all Jersey. Why? Or it might be Guernsey. Who decides?

Let's stick with jail. That doesn't matter. I was in Dublin with my dad, and we had a little argument about what next weekend and this weekend means. One of the great debates, Shaka. Is it a generational issue? Well, that's what I think. Give me the context.

Were you saying, let's do something next weekend? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my dad thought that next weekend meant that, to me, was this weekend. So if I tell you, what are you doing on Saturday, Jess? Just saying. What am I doing on Saturday? Yeah, as in like five days. I think it's the Saturday about to happen.

So would you say this weekend or next weekend? I would say this weekend. Thank you. That's what I would say. That is the correct thing you should say. Because what's the point of having this and next? Yes. If they essentially mean the same thing.

So if you told me what you were doing on Saturday as in two weeks from now, that's next weekend. And I appreciate, was he trying to hit you with, but this Saturday coming is the next Saturday. Yes, he was. And I was like, no, no, no, but next Saturday is next Saturday, Dad. What's the point of saying next Saturday if you're referring to five days away? Next Saturday is the 25th.

Yes. This Saturday is the 25th. Yes. This Saturday is the 18th. I get really pedantic because I've been caught out too many times as well. Even so much that I'll be somewhere and text my friend and go, where are you? And they say, hang on now, our plans were for next Saturday. You know, it's a real discombobulating thing. Babs, where do you sit?

You're a bit younger. What does this and next mean to you? As in the 18th. If you're doing something on the 18th, is that this weekend or next weekend? Is the 18th this weekend? It is. Yes, then I would say this weekend. This weekend.

Next weekend is the following weekend. Thank you, Babs. Yeah. Exactly. And you know what I end up doing? And I use more words than is probably necessary. If I mean next weekend. So not this Saturday.

And then you have to hit them with a date to avoid any confusion. So where did you land? Did he accept your much more logical reasoning? No, I don't think we actually met in the middle anyway. It was more just like, that's your way, this is my way. And then I brought that to the radio because that's what we're doing. How do you move forward though, Shaga? Are we just going to have to use dates from now on?

No more this and next. I'll just know when he says next weekend, it really means this weekend. because that's what we're doing. How do you move forward though, Shaga? Are we just going to have to use dates from now on? No more this and next. I'll just know when he says next weekend, it really means this weekend. So I'll just have to do a lot of, I don't know, mine. Translation. You're translating in my mind. Yeah, you need Duolingo for your dad. And when I don't arrive to lunch, I'll go,

well, you said next weekend. Jess and Ducko. Ducko, not here. It's me, unfortunately, for you. It's here. We're fine. We're doing well. We are doing well.

And yes, Alphabuck's around the corner. Thanks. But before we get to that, Shaga, I want to ask the rice cookers if they've ever been banned from something or maybe they themselves have imposed a ban on someone or something in their life. I love this story. A gentleman by the name of David Trevor Wilkinson. He is a professional musician, Shy Guy. He actually plays one of my favourite. Is this my favourite maybe?

Yeah, I'm going to say it's my favourite instrument. The saxophone. The sax. Saxophone. Oh, that's the grab we should have got when we had our meeting this morning. Don't worry about Mr Saxo Beach. Oh, damn it. Babs, where were you on the Simpsons grabs?

No. David Trevor Wilkinson, professional saxophone player, slapped with a ban from his own city council. Now, I live in a beautiful area, but many a complaining neighbour. Oh, the group chat of the Facebook group, you know, the community Facebook group, pops know, the community Facebook group, pops off with people saying, oh, I've put in a complaint to council for this. I've put in a complaint to council for that.

Even in my very complainy area, I've never heard of one like this. Professional musician slapped with a ban for playing his own instrument inside his own home. So apparently he would practice and play in his home and not like at 11pm midnight, just during the day, suitable hours. He gets a letter in the post, I guess a cease and desist you'd call it, saying he is only allowed to play for an hour and a half every day, Monday to Friday.

There is to be no saxophone during the weekends. An hour and a half every day, Monday to Friday. There is to be no saxophone during the weekends. An hour and a half feels generous. It feels generous, but also he's a professional musician. Like, it's not like he's some kid wailing on the drums trying to learn. And as I say, you know, outside of hours, Babs, your neighbour's doing family band in the depths of the night. Like, that's something I can see might be complaint territory. He actually took it to court.

He took it to his local magistrate's court. And amazingly, the justice system on his side, they overturned the ban. They won. How's this though? Because the city was celebrating City of Culture Year. And so the magistrate's gone, guys, from the council's perspective, you want people to be out and about celebrating culture and expressing themselves.

You can't be slapping a ban on a professional muso. Yeah. I mean, anyone. Anyone. Exactly. Even if it is the kid just learning. There's someone in my area, I think they're learning the trumpet. And I say learning with respect.

It just doesn't sound like they've got a whole song. But I love a brass instrument. Yeah, if you can play it well. Well, you can't just magically wake up one day and play the trumpet or sax well. You've got to do your due process, have a teacher, have your lessons. So that's why we wanted to know, have you been banned from something? Have you had a letter in the post? Have you had a conversation with your family?

What is it? Yeah, Jess has called in on 131060. Jess, what were you banned from? Hey guys, how are you? Oh, so good, Jess. Thanks for joining the show, first and foremost. I had to get in on this one. I haven't been banned myself, but I banned my just six-year-old son from calling me bro and bra. Six years old? He's already started with that, Jess. Only just six and that's how I get called. So he's only allowed to call me mum and that's it,

but he's been calling me bro and bra. Jess, I love that. Can you give me a role play? I'm you in the kitchen and your six-year-old son is hungry for dinner. Oh, brah, where's my dinner? I'm starving. Is he picking that up from school or a show? Where's he got bro from?

Oh, I have no idea. It's only just started since he started school this term and I'm just like, who are you? Fair enough. And as someone, I'll put my hand up. I'm a big fan of calling mates bro or call dog bro. I call Babs bro all the time. Bro and bra. But hearing it from your kid, my parents used to hate it when I would call them their first

name. And I imagine bro or bra, that's a whole other level, Jess. Lucia just started hitting you with the bros. Mad odds. We can't let her say the full word. So 13, 10, 16. Thanks for that, Jess. That was awesome.

What have you been banned from? Have you been banned from anything? Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. No Ducko this week. You've got me, unfortunately, for you. But Jess is here and Baz is here too.

Can I make you feel good? Georgia just DM'd. Yeah, what did Georgia say? Ducko better be nervous because Shy Guy's killing it. That sounds like a made-up message, but I'll take it. I'll screenshot that, babe. Okay. I said, I'm going to tell him.

That's going to make him feel a hundred bucks. He's already tall, but he's going to make him grow a bit taller. I'll put that on my LinkedIn. Please do. Endorsed by Georgia. Yeah. So thanks for being with us, Georgia, and thanks, everyone, for being with us and getting involved.

We are doing on 131060. Have you been banned from something? Or maybe you've banned someone from doing something? Someone in the UK was banned by their local council for playing the saxophone. He was a professional musician though, shy guy. David Trevor Wilkinson can play sax and he obviously got enough complaints from his neighbours that the council dropped him a letter saying,

we'll give you a window but that's it it, and certainly no sacks on weekends. Yes, he was just at home in his window going, Sacks in my phone, sacks in my phone. Probably doing it a little bit better than that. But Lauren, good morning, Lauren. Morning. Hi, Lozzie. I like this.

You've banned yourself? Yeah, so when I was younger, back when I was a wee chap, I suspended my own licence what like as in your driver's license yeah how bad were you on the road i was pretty bad i mean i still have my days but i i got a few tickets so i got three tickets one day and then the next day i got another ticket so i just thought maybe this isn't for me. So I then made my family and my friends drive me everywhere. Hang on, Lauren. So was this sort of like, I know I'm inching towards maxing out my demerits. I'm going to get it taken off me.

I'm going to call it before the government does. Before the government does it for me. Pretty much. I only suspended it for three months. I thought that was enough. Like, I'd learned my lesson. And when you say you suspended it, did you genuinely lodge it with someone or you just mean you didn't try?

Put the license in the drawer and threw the car keys away. It's almost like, you know, where people turn themselves in to the cops. Yeah, yeah. I put the license in the drawer. I took it out of my wallet and I just told all my friends and family that I lost it completely. Of taking yourself off the road. For three months.

Yeah, yeah. And then they were all like, oh, you must be getting your license back soon. And I'm like, yeah, any day now. Yeah. And I didn't. What a self-aware queen. And you'd rather have your friends think that you actually had a cop take your license off you. That's right.

Wow. What a self-aware person. That's amazing, Lauren. Thank you for dobbing yourself in. And I guess, by extension, keeping everyone else on the road safe. Yeah. Thanks for that, Lauren. Sarah. Morning, Lauren. Sarah.

Morning, Sarah. Morning. Where'd you get banned from? My husband has banned me completely from touching plants. I love them, but I'm not allowed to care for them at all because I kill them almost immediately. Are you like, this is why my dog got really fat, Sarah. It's too much love. You're watering, you're over-watering, they, Sarah. It's too much love. You're watering.

You're over-watering. They're drowning. I don't know. I'm getting so. It's just like bad vibes to the point where, like, I had just had sneaking plans into the house, and I just arrived with them. And he'd be like, oh, my God, like,

now he's caring for all these thousands of indoor plans and outdoor plans. I mean, at least they're plans and not pets, you know. Could be worse. Someone coming home with 35 dogs is a real issue, but I love the ban. You love too much, Sarah. We've got to rein it in. Yeah. Mel, what did you get banned from, Mel?

Did someone ban you? Well, it was my mum. She kind of banned both myself and my sisters and the game Monopoly. Oh, big contended Monopoly. The ultimate family feud. Absolutely. What did your house look like when Monopoly was brought out? Without fail, every single time, it ended with houses being thrown across the room

or money being thrown at someone and then someone storming off after uplifting the board. So we were all super competitive and mum was just sick of finding houses when she was vacuuming or money through the board. So we were all super competitive and mum was just sick of finding houses when she was vacuuming or money through the house. But it must be hereditary because now my daughter Sophie and her older brother Will, they do the exact same thing. Sophie and Will.

So I do not involve myself in Family Games Night. Wait, so you haven't banned Sophie and Will, but you can see it happening? Oh, I saw it happen and I just walked away. So it must be hereditary. We're all super competitive. And yeah, so no more Monopoly anymore. No more Monopoly.

Lucky you guys aren't playing. Oh, no, Monopoly does have those little pieces, doesn't it? Yeah, the thimble and the top hat. The iron is a sharp. I mean, they're stainless steel. They've got some weight to them if you buy the proper set. Thank you, Mel. Let's wrap up. mean, they're stainless steel. They've got some weight to them if you buy the proper set. Thank you, Mel. Let's wrap up.

Oh, shy guy, this is interesting. I didn't think we'd have an anonymous for this particular topic, but we've got one. Hello, anonymous. Hello, how are you? Pretty good. This is very intriguing. You're dobbing on someone who's been banned, anonymous.

I am. What's the situation? So I know someone who got permanently banned from a bunch of dating apps because his ex-girlfriend was mad that he broke up with her. Wait, so how did that result in – so did he get banned or did the ex-girlfriend get banned? So when they kind of went back into the dating world and they were both on dating apps, she happened to swipe one day onto his account and thought, oh, I wasn't too happy that he broke up with me.

So I'm actually going to start reporting from his account for multiple things. Until he pretty much got banned from multiple dating websites. So he actually didn't do anything wrong, but the ex has gone, I'm getting you off here. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. Seems a bit harsh. I know. I mean.

And if you're both, like, she's on the apps too. You know what I mean? They're both on there. But he couldn't ban her because she was banning him first. Anonymous. Yes. I mean, how do you meet people in this day and age? No one's actually meeting in real life. So if you're off the apps, there goes your shot at love. Thank you. I mean, how do you meet people in this day and age? No one's actually meeting in real life.

So if you're off the apps, there goes your shot at love. Thanks. Well, that's it. He got very lucky and he met someone. In real life? Yeah, a bit old school. So, I mean, it's kind of a really wacky love story, if you will. Anonymous, was this you?

You're not the ex-girlfriend. Are you the new partner, Anonymous? I may be the new partner. Oh, wow! Alright. 10 questions, 30 seconds this time. Yes. Shago wanted to play 30 questions, 30 seconds this time. Yes. Unlike last time.

Shago wanted to play 30 questions in 10 seconds last time. It'd be a way harder game of Alphabucks, I'll tell you that much. I don't think I could ask them that fast. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. Anyway, Fiona, morning. Morning, Fiona. Good morning. How are you?

Wonderful, Fiona. That was half the rules, babe. What if Fiona's first time joining? You didn't say the thing about saying pass. We've got to take your first. Oh, yeah. All right. Fiona, don't ever say skip.

Say pass. Thank you. We must take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of a question, say pass and we'll come back to it if there's time at the end of the game, okay? Okay. No worries.

Thank you. Thank you for joining the show with us today, Fiona. I can see here you've told Babs someone's birthday today. It is, yes. Happy birthday. How old did you turn? 37. 37.

What a great age. I turn 34 tomorrow, babe. We're a day apart. Oh, happy birthday. If everything goes to plan, Ducca and Morgan's baby born today or tomorrow. So it's either birthday twin with me or Fee. Nice. $10,000 up for grabs though, babe.

What do you want to spend the money on? Well, I've got to be in NICU at the moment. So we said once she comes out that we'd like to kind of do a family holiday. Oh, baby. Go do something with the toddler as well. Oh, that would be amazing. Sending all the love and strength to you and your family. Thank you.

Let's get you where your priorities should be with your family. Let's waste no more time. The letter you're going to work with today is W. Okay. W for winner. That's all right. Okay? Okay.

Hopefully. Hopefully. Let's do this. Your time will start after the first question. Okay. Starting with the letter W, we need you to name an animal. Wombat. A condiment.

Worcestershire sauce. A phone app. Oh, pass. A music group. Pass. A fabric. Wool. A fabric. Wool. A breakfast food.

Weet-Bix. A car part. Windshield. A supernatural creature. Werewolf. A girl's name. Winnie. Winnie on the buzzer. Winnie on the buzzer.

Winnie on the buzzer, yeah. Sorry. Don't you dare apologise, Fee. You did so well. Six of the best. Six of the best. Nice. I'm still all right.

You passed on a phone up. You could have done WhatsApp or Westpac, the bank app. I know. I literally was with Westpac as well. Oh, it's always the way. Music group, Wolf Mother Wham, Weezer. Westlife. Jess's favourite, I was getting to it.

Westlife. And we did have time for a movie, which could have been Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or West Side Story or Wizard of Oz. That's actually a very fast 30 seconds. Like, it goes so quick. It does. Faster than in the car. It certainly does, particularly when you've got a lot on your plate, Fiona.

I know. But you don't go away empty-handed. No, you do not. You get $100 to spend at Minks Adult Boutique. Minks with three X's dot com dot au. That's for you, Fiona. I'd say think of us, but don't. Don't.

Fiona, thank you so much, and all the best. Thank you. Thanks, babe. Happy birthday, by the way. Happy best. Thank you. Thanks, babe. Happy birthday, by the way. Happy birthday. Quick, Shy Guy, a quick song. Happy birthday. I don't have the grabs.

I'm not doing it live. Sorry, Fiona. That's all you get. Hey, up next, another chance to get involved in the show. You will not be asked a simpler, but I'm going to say more divisive question. This might break the phone. Shy Guy and I might come to fisticuffs here. Yeah.

Do you want to say what it is? Is soup a meal? We'll do it after Lola Young. Jess and Ducko. Lola Young, Messy Bad. Can you correct me? Lola Young at Coachella? Yeah, she did perform at Coachella.

And how'd she go? Oh, all right. I think she was really nervous. Apparently she was, like, vomiting off stage heaps, I heard. Like between songs? Yeah. Oof. Jesus.

Because she was so nervous. Nervous or tummy bug, because that is... It's messy. It is messy. I literally did all of that for that joke. Thank you very much. Oh, you knew about the vomiting. Yeah, about the stomach pre-show.

Oh, well, great little one to you guys. Yep, we're planning that at 8 o'clock. Let's talk about it. Should I just take this week off as well? No, we need you. Please stay. Please stay. Please stay, Jess.

Well, we've just had another bit of feedback on young Shy Guy, who is, of course, sitting in the hot seat because Ducko is on paternity leave, nailing the posts. Thank you. Which means as Shy Guy talks into a song like Messy there with a bit of an intro, we can talk over that till she sings, Nailing It. Good, good.

And that's a hard one because that's an 18-seconder. Well, well done to you. You're crushing it. Well done to us. Well done to us. We are crushing it. You're so kind. Hey, we want to crush it together, though.

13, 10, 60. We need to get your opinion. I'm not sure. It's just a short week, Shaga. We do our Friday off being Good Friday. I'm not sure if we'll do anything as controversial as what we're about to do. Have we started too soon? Should we have warmed up to this this week?

Are you saying we should have saved this for Thursday? Maybe when the rice cookers are sort of on board with us and maybe are willing to get just punched in the face with hot, heavy questions and topics. Yep. This is a big one. Is soup a meal? 13, 10, 60? And by extension, what's a superior soup?

Oh, God. Well, I hate soup. You know that. You know I hate soup. I hate all forms of it. Our boss said, Ducko and I sometimes agree too much. So we looked for differences between you and I. We are yin and yang right now.

And when we think of the yin and yang on our preferences, soup, it's number one. I've only had soup ones in my life. That was in Singapore. That's right, wasn't it? Of ramen. Like it was the wrong. I don't know. It was an entree.

No, it wasn't a French onion, I think you said. It was a French onion. It was an entree. It wasn't even like a Southeast Asian soup. It wasn't even part of the meal. It was just what they gave everyone. What's before entree? An amuse-bouche.

It was almost like a canapé or an appetizer. It was an appetizer. And I still hated it. In Italian, we'd call that a primi. Yeah, well. First course. Primi no. You were ill a little while ago and I offered to bring you my homemade chicken soup.

I use secret ingredient of charcoal chicken. You denied it. You said, no, thank you. You were ill a little while ago and I offered to bring you my homemade chicken soup. I use secret ingredient of charcoal chicken. You denied it. You said, no, thank you. Wouldn't have eaten it. I wouldn't have pretend to eat it either. Just take your little Tupperware container away. Is super meal. You know, my favorite website is delicious.com.au.

It's the website I visit most frequently, maybe just after the Instagram app. Matt Preston is a pretty consistent contributor, of course, former MasterChef judge, food critic. He has some thoughts because as we're obviously dipping into autumn, winter is around the corner. He writes, soup season is here. And Matt Preston has thoughts. He wants you to know that buying just those store-bought packet, either out of a can, the cup of soup, they are not a meal. And we don't need to be settling for that.

He says you can make a hearty, wholesome, healthy soup that could actually last you a couple of nights because you could freeze it, you could carry it over, they keep well. It's just about putting a little bit of thought into your weekly grocery shop, and we could be whipping that out on a chilly afternoon to have for dinner that night. He said, don't be fooled into thinking that soup is unsubstantial or inconsequential. Take it from me, you add a bit of cooked pasta, you add a bit of bean, we can even make a nice hearty minestrone that'll keep the whole family happy.

I'm with Matt Preston. Soup is 100% a meal. No. And mulligatawny is the best soup. That's my opinion. I don't even know. I couldn't even spell that word. Yeah.

I don't know how. I think I spell it different every time I go to ride it. No. Soup is not a meal. We put this out to the rice cookers at Jess and Duck on Instagram. 72% it was a meal. I'm part of the 28% that said it wasn't. No.

Soup's not a meal. You were supposed to buy me a meal. You're Kenny Banya, again, for my Seinfeld friends. Okay, you know what? We haven't had to do one. No, no, no. No, no. We haven't had to do one.

People like it. No, sorry. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. That took two hours and 17 minutes to play that for the week. It's like the most popular sitcom of the 90s, I Hate Friends. People know that reference. People know Kenny Banya.

If I don't know it and I'm on the buttons, I'm hitting you with the sting. We're divided here. Babs, at least lean us one way or the other with the team. Is soup a meal? No. Oh, no. Thank you, Babs. It's just syrup and liquid.

Thank you. Soup, babe. You're making soup wrong if you're adding maple syrup or if it's that sort of sticky consistency. No, but it's like a drink. It's not a meal. One of the messages in that 28% there, Shy Guy, someone said, I need to chew my food, not drink my food.

Otherwise it's not a meal. Do you eat it with a spoon? Is that a dumb question? I'm genuinely asking. I don't eat it, so I don't know. And do you have it in a cup or a bowl? Oh my God. Yes, you consume soup with a spoon.

You can bring the dregs. It's one of the great joys. You can have the chunks and the liquid. Are you telling me you'd fork a chunk? What are you going to do with the liquid though? It would be like coated over the chicken piece or the carrot or whatever. You aren't going to still left me with broth.

You're not allowed to have an opinion. You don't even know that you need a spoon. I'm here too today. That might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Do you use a spoon? We've got all week together. What do you think? You'd use a straw? Or just bring vessel to mouth? I have not had enough soup in my life.

If someone gave me a bowl of soup and a straw, I would participate. Please, if anyone, if any restaurateur sees Shy Guy out, just bring him souping. Like, oh, we made an extra. Here you go. You look chilly. With a straw. And bring him a soup. But one of those wide ones are boost juice, not the skinny one.

And don't make a cardboard. That's not helping. Can you imagine a cardboard straw trying to take on a nice hot minestrone? No. Forget about it. Forget about it. 13, 10, 60 is super meal. And if you are in my camp, what's a superior?

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. It's day one of being Duckoless as he awaits the birth of his first child. And Shy Guy and I we've come to blows. Because he's only had one soup in his life. It wasn't a great French onion, which I think is up there. It wasn't even a meal, it was the appetiser. It's in my top five. I didn't even order it. They just gave it, they just bought it out. I don't think it's any secret how good of a cook my mum is. I've told you

many times. Would you have a soup from her? Like, if the chef was the right person, would you try again? She flew in and cooked a soup. I would have to eat it. You would? She's in town, baby. Come over this afternoon. We've got to make bulk food for Ducko and Morgan because, you know,

that's how we show love. So you can come have a sip of their soup. I don't know. It's a big deal. Matt Preston has weighed in on delicious.com. He said, for anyone who thinks soup isn't a meal, you're just doing it wrong. You don't need to rely on store-bought containers or cuppers soup or the ones out of the box or can. You can make a good, hearty, wholesome, healthy soup that will sustain you and the whole family.

I'm a big soup fan. But let's find out if Owen is. Hello, Owen. Morning, crew. How are you if Owen is. Hello, Owen. Morning, crew. How are you? Oh, so good, Owen. Just quickly, Owen, what do you think of the show so far? Oh, loving it.

I mean, we all missed Duggar, of course, and best of luck to him, but yeah. We're doing all right. Thank you, Owen. We'll take that. I love that. The question is, though, are you Team Shy Guy or Team Jess when it comes to Soup being a meal? Sorry, Shy Guy, Soup is definitely a meal? Sorry, shy guy. Soup is definitely a meal.

Yes, Owen. Yes. Tell me your favourite soup, Owen. I'm going to have to go with the pumpkin. Pumpkin? With a nice bit of sourdough on the side. And see, that's the thing. You can bulk it out, a nice crouton, a nice bread roll with a dippy dippy.

Yep. And if you look up the definition of meal, it's any sort of food, so it doesn't have to be solid. Thank you. You can drink a meal. Well, in that case, Tic Tacs are a meal too. I don't think so. Sophie.

Morning, Sophie. Mate, I used to eat the whole little. Yeah, I know. They don't last very long. The orange ones. How good are the orange ones? Yeah, anyway. Sophie, hello.

Hi. Sophie, how old are you, babe? I'm 12 years old. 12. Right, we've got a junior rice cooker here. Your vote counts for extra. Is soup a meal? I'm with Char, guys.

It's not a meal. Yes, Sophie. Sophie. So, you know, your parents, you know, it's a chilly winter's night. You put a bowl, they put a bowl of soup in front of you. Are you going, where's the main meal? Yeah. Yeah.

Sophie's going, I'm not touching that. I'm not touching that. Bring me something real. Okay. Mum hides the vegetables in it and we still find them. Yeah, you're not dumb, Sophie. Nah, Sophie can sniff out a bit of spinach. Get that away from me.

Thank you, Sophie. Thank you for that contribution, which means Caitlin gets to decide it. Hi, Caitlin. Hey, how are you going? Good. Look, I'm nervous because if you come on here and say your team's shy guy and soup isn't a meal, I feel like I've lost the leg to stand on. Let me add some drama to this conversation so I can do extra today.

Caitlin, what say you? Soup is a meal. Is a meal! Yay! Damn it. Are you just being nice to me and supporting me without my food? No. No, I am such a soup fan.

Like, how can you not have a really nice chunky veg, like, during winter with sourdough and butter? Like, if you just think liquid is soup, you've got problems. You've got problems, shy guy. Well, I don't know what I was going to say about that. Be nice to the rice cookers. You win, Caitlin. You win.

Jess and Ducko. No Ducko this week. He's on paternity leave. Anything could be happening right now for the Duckman. Absolutely. We are sending Morgan all the love and strength, of course, from the Rice Cooker Collective. I wonder what song they're up to in the Push playlist.

Very exciting. Don't forget, if your song is playing at the moment she enters the world, you get naming rights. Asterix, that's me saying it. And a jizz bit and a couple other fridge magnets and stuff like that. A couple? We don't have a couple to spare. We've got some stuff.

You get one. Yeah, but then you get a bottle opener and stuff like that. I don't think we put Gaga on the playlist, but you could win tickets. See what I did there? That was amazing. You've really settled in, Tal. I'm trying. We've already done

today's round of the One Second Song Game, which we're playing for the Gaga tickets. Tomorrow, 7am, if you want to play, you've got to steal them off Renee. Thank you so much. That's a Renee. Oh, thank you so much. That's a double thumbs up. Thank you so much. You didn't even have that written down.

No. You've got that strength over Ducko. He's terrible at remembering names, and you remembered Renee's from an hour and a half ago. I'm the worst at names and faces. I'm surprised I pulled that one out, I'll tell you that much. But she is our carryover champ, so you have to knock Renee. No, how does it work?

Renee gets first go. First choice. If she messes up, it's anyone. It's up for grabs, it's anyone. It's up for grabs. It's anyone. So we'll play that tomorrow at 7. I love that.

But up next, one of our favourite Monday games, Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Now, usually it's Shy Guy giving us a topic and Ducko and I going head to head, trying to outbid each other how many things within that topic we can name. Well, without the Duck Man here and Shy Guy up against it doing a lot on that side of the desk, you're going to play Rice Cookers 13, 10, 60. But what we thought could be fun, and we've not briefed Babs on this. Babs doesn't know what we're doing here. One person's going to play and choose whether they want to verse me

or verse Babs. Shaga, what does shaking her head mean? Does that mean she's really excited for it? She's got a mic. I don't know if she's going to use it. I would love to play. Good girl. 13, 10, 60.

If you want to play Biddy Biddy Bang Bang, got some prizes up for grabs, you can take on me or take on Babs. Jess and Ducko. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Usually Ducko and I would go head-to-head in this game,

but of course he's on paternity leave, so we thought we'd put it out to the rice cookers to take his spot. Shy Guy's up against it. He's running five computer screens, upwards of 40 buttons. He's busy. So we thought, well, we need a challenger, but Babs has sort of been operating at about, would you say, 60% capacity today,

Shy Guy. I wanted her to lift in the dying hours of the show. I have not been operating at C-Suicide. I've been doing all the admin. Babs has been doing a lot of my job. The admin never gets noticed, Babs, let me tell you. What we thought, though, maybe the rice cookers want to challenge

Babs to Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Now, we usually play this in the 7 o'clock hours. This is the first time it's been in the 8 o'clock hour. You're telling me people might never remember. They might have never heard of Biddy Biddy Bang Bang before. Well, Hayley called up. Hayley, good morning to you. Good morning. And can I say thank you very much for picking up the phone.

I do so appreciate you getting involved in the show. Thank you. I put it out there. Would you like to take on me or, unbeknownst to Babs, I threw her into the challenger pool, or you can take on Babs. Who would you like to fight in Bidi Bidi Bang Bang? I said you, Jess, but now I'm thinking that our admins should stick together and I should go with Babs.

Oh, do you want to pivot? Oh, can I? Is it too late? No, it's not too late. Run in, Babs. Come on. She left the studio, Hayley, thinking, nah, Hayley's locked in me. Mate, live radio, babe.

You can never get too comfortable. She is reluctantly ambling in, Hayley. We're on the clock here, sis. Can you pick up the pace? Don't wait until the door to close. It'll close on its own, Babs. Turn her mic on. There we go.

My legs are sore. All right. So, Hayley, the way this is going to work, Shy Guy is going to give you a topic. You are going to have to bid for how many things within that topic you think you can name in a 20-second period, okay? Okay. If Babs outbids you and says something ridiculous like 11,

you can go, you do it, Babs. The way you win the point, Hayley, is then just naming one thing she didn't get to if she fails to name 11. Do you understand? Yeah. All right, let's flesh it out. What's the first topic? And I think Hayley should bid first.

First topic for you, Hayley, for the first bid. Articles of clothing. Oh. How many articles of clothing do you think you can name? Let's go lucky 11 then. 11. That is a big number. Babs.

Oh, maybe 12. Okay. Babs at the counter. Hayley, do you want to do more than 12? Oh, let Babs have it. All right. So, Hayley, make sure you're paying attention because to steal it off her, I'm already thinking she's going to fail.

I'm on team Hayley. So listen up because all we'll need is one thing she doesn't name if she does not make it. Babs, we need 12 items of clothing. Go! T-shirt, pants, undies, jockstrap, socks, bra. Yep. Knickers?

You've said. Nah. No, it's a different type. Sure. A few more. Jumper, jacket. I'll accept jacket, but that still was only nine. Hayley, to win the point, I need one item of clothing

and don't say another word for undies. Oh, I can't say boxes, okay? What about pantyhose? Stocking. Stocking! Stocking. We'll take that. No, I thought you said dress.

It's really hard. It is very hard. Well, Hayley, you've swooped in there. Have you written that down, shy guy? Like one point. One to Hayley. Yeah, I've done that part. Thank you.

A valiant effort, Babs. Thank you. Knickers, undies, joshua. They're all different. Next topic, guys. Types of flowers. All right, Babs, maybe first reply from you. Five.

Hayley? Let's go reply from you. Five. Hayley? Let's go six. Okay. Seven. Okay. I feel like I should keep going, but I don't know if I know that many. Do you want Babs to play again, Hayley? Yeah, let's go.

So what was it? Seven. Seven was the bid. All right, so Hayley's smart. She's like, I only need to do one. Yeah, no. Seven flowers, sweet Babs. Go So Hayley's smart. She's like, I only need to do one. Yeah, no. Seven flowers, sweet babs. Go for it, babs.

Sunflower, rose, hibiscus, hydrangea, daisy, dandelion. Oh. Um, um, um, um, um, um, the, bleh. Oh, no. Go, babs. Um, um, um, um, I don't know. One time. I think that was only five.

Hayley, we need one for the point. Jacaranda. I reckon that's a tree. Can you give me another flower? Um, uh. Say tulip. Lily! Lily! A tulip!

That's hard. That's hard. That was hard. It's the pressure. It's the non-existent ticking clock that you think, oh, my God, we're running out of time. Absolutely. Well, I mean, even if we did a third one, it wouldn't matter. Hayley's done it.

Hayley, you've won. You've won. Thanks, Babs. Good choice on taking on Babs because I would have crushed you, Hayley. What are you trying to say, Hayley? Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to add in. I know.

She wanted to play another, you know, admin sister. Babe, thank you so much for getting involved in the show today. We're going to send you out a bespoke Jess and Ducko fridge magnet bottle opener to jizz bit, okay? Thank you. Thank you very much. Well done, Babs. Thank you.

I had a crack. Thanks, Babs. Jess and Ducko. As Jess just questioned, are Well done, Babs. Thank you. I had a crack. Thanks, Babs. Jess and Ducco. As Jess just questioned, are we done? I couldn't believe it. This has flown, shy guy. It's been a quick show. I'll be honest with you.

Yeah. I thought it would be a lot harder. Thank you. No, it's absolutely a compliment. I thought, you know, we would take a second to find our groove, to quote the great times of COVID. This is a new normal for us, granted, for a short amount of

time, as Ducko is on paternity leave, but I thought it's going to take us a minute to warm up. Yeah, I think the first 15 minutes for me were a little bit tricky, but three hours later. And I'd say maybe on your button side of things, because right out of the gates, Dale, your energy, your gusto,

your contributions, your bants. The bants are good. Top notch. I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I know this is not normal for you. I know it's not particularly comfortable for you. You are a producer through and through,

and that's because you like to be behind the scenes. Yeah, I'm usually the one being like, hey, hook this, do that, play this there. You're the ideas, man. But now I'm usually the one being like, hey, hook this, do that, play this there. You're the ideas, man. But now I'm doing that and talking about doing that. It's a very different skill set, so I'm so proud of you, and I thank you for not leaving me out here feeling like a flailing fish. Thanks.

You know? I play the fish sound effect, but I can't. That's okay. Done very well on the buttons. Done all right. Ducko would be so happy with you hitting me with the niche sting twice today. It only took, what, 23 minutes, I think? It did take very long.

I'm going to have to put it out to the rice cookers on the poll. Seinfeld references are not niche. It is one of the biggest, if not the biggest sitcom of all time. Wow, but not everyone's seen it. That doesn't mean it's niche, though. It means you don't know it. Yeah, but I'm on the buttons. We need another button.

I don't know that quote, Jess. Shall I go? Babs, can you work on that? Yeah, sure. If I put it to the poll today and straight up ask the rice cookers, is quoting Seinfeld niche? If they say no, you're not allowed to niche me. For Seinfeld.

For Seinfeld. Oh, I know I'll give you the depths of some random rush hour two. Count it down. I love rush hour two. You know, I went to quote the depths of some random rush hour two. Count it down. And then you could. I love rush hour two. You know, I went to quote Shanghai Noon the other day, and I thought even I know I'll get hit with the sting. Arguably one of Jackie Chan's best films, Shanghai Noon. I'd agree with that.

Hey, tomorrow at 7 a.m., Gaga tickets. We're playing an old favourite, the one-second song game. That's right. Renee today was able to pick Judas out of one second. So she's going to join us tomorrow as the carryover champ. She gets first crack at the next second. If she stumbles, you can swoop in. Yeah, it's all yours.

The last person standing on Thursday, obviously it's a short week, Friday's a public holiday, will win a double pass to see Gaga at Acor Stadium this December. Yeah. The Mayhem Ball. They're the first tickets in town. First tickets in town, except Courtney, who won them when we announced. Yeah, but that doesn't count.

Who I think you met, Babs. Yeah, I did. I was at the shops the other day and randomly met her. She just DM'd us and said it's so funny hearing her voice on the ad now. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we made a promo out of you, Courtney. So thank you, Courtney. We made a promo out of you.

Guys, Babs to you. Thank you. I made a joke about you only operating at 60%. It's all right. It's been upwards of 90%. Yeah, I'm trying. You're trying very well and I appreciate you. Yeah, I'm doing the back, you know, the back stuff.

Exactly. The back stuff? Right. What does that mean? Okay. I meant, oh, God, I'm having brain bleeds. Ooh, Babs, Is it you back there? We'll just let you sit in that one.

And you know what else is tomorrow? What? Jess's birthday. Ah. We should plan some stuff. You should be so proud of me. I didn't even bring it up once today. I was waiting.

That's why I thought I would bring it up now. I know there's a lot on our plate this week, but I'm really glad you remembered because I would have been sad. Babs and I had a moment on text last night and we were like, it's not Monday, is it? Have we messed up? I had this fear that we were going to walk in and then you would just be crying in the corner.

No, no, no. I would have absolutely waited until now and gone. So thanks so much for the happy birthday message, guys. It's over now. I would have really just put that down to a lot going on. It is tomorrow, but we'll have some fun tomorrow. Thank you so much for being with us today. Again, sending so much love and strength and good vibes to

Daku and Morgan, and we will keep you updated when they choose to keep us updated. And if you want to hear this again, get our podcast on the Listener app. We'll do a little bit, something extra in there. Yes, we will. Maybe some more back stuff from Babs. Back end stuff, I meant.

Back end with Babs on the podcast. Get on the listener app. See you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. If someone gave me a bowl or soup and a straw, I would participate. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast.

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