Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Oh no, there was no filter on that one

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

Jess got awkward on a facetime call, whats Duckos wife Morgan signed him up for and the producers wrap up the week that was in the diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. com. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Hello.

Hi, everyone. That was something Shy Guy really wigged out about last Friday when you weren't here doing the podcast top, wasn't it? I just had deja vu. Like doing the intro? Yeah, Shigai was like, I don't know how to start this. So what did you do? Well, I just don't want to copy.

His head. Yeah, fair. Yeah, yeah. And then we spent 10 minutes talking about how he's headed blown up just by trying to say hello. Slam poetry. Yelling. We're waving my hands back. Wait, what?

We're doing gear. We're quite in the movie. Tony on Jump Street. Cynthia. Cynthia. Nice yourself. Oh, no, no. Can't be niche if two people are doing it, baby.

The other two people don't get it. There's no rules with the niche thing. So I've got we've worked out of that. That was cute. That was actually really, I can get it, but I don't. Tony on Jump Street is funny. That is funny as all hell. Is that the one, or is it 22 Jump Street?

I don't know, but one of my favorite quotes is you two are too busy. Think a pop in each other's assholes. We were not thinking of popping each other assholes. Is that that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a great movie. Rewatch that this week. I will.

You know what I watched? Cap of Far. Ah, Team America. We rewatched it the day of the wedding. So we'll see. Hang on. To get in the zone. The boys were all waiting.

What should we do? Like, should we watch this movie? like, should we watch Team America? Did you throw that out? And he goes, I love that movie. So we're in our suits, waiting. We watched like, we didn't finish it. We watched like an hour and a beer.

The groom as well. And we're like laughing. Oh my God. I forgot how inappropriate that film is. There is something there. What did you do? What did you do the morning of the wedding? Watch Team America.

Yeah, it was pretty funny. Yeah, we could turn it as a photo. And it has to be, I think, the men, because when you think about the women, more I started makeup at 4 a.m. So we got ready, got our suits on, got the photos. And then we're like, We had two hours before the limo can. I think if I found out, Angus watched Team America the morning of the wedding,

I'd be weirdly weird about it. Like, that is not getting you in the headspace. That is such a funny joke. It was so funny. I'm so row. Oh, man. Babs, you've got to watch it. You've got to watch it.

She would get through 10 minutes. I don't think you'll like it. But, like, well, it's very inappropriate. It's very cross. But also, it is the guys from South Park, and they're paying the fuck out of America and everything like that as well. So it is very funny. How do you feel about puppets?

It's all puppets, but it's so funny. It's so funny. That was the best acting I've ever seen. Alec Baldwin. Have you seen, have you seen Happy Time Murders with Melissa McCarthy? No. It's Muppets. That's the kind of comedy.

It's very crass, but it's meant to be this sort of like, obviously, juvenile platform with the puppets and the animation and whatever. Oh, it's so good. She won't see. sit through it. Put us down for next week, Shah guys. Yeah, I wrote in on Tuesday. What did you do before the wedding? What'd you do? What'd you do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, women, maybe, but I just feel

like stereotypically, we're getting makeup started at 4 a.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't know. Babs, have you seen sausage party? Yes. Do you like it? Yeah, I thought that was really funny. Maybe we got her then with Team America. You're just got to lean into the, you know. You've got to lean in and remove any PC filter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was a different time. It was a different time. This is Randon. Wow. Oh, we missed the 20-year anniversary. We should have celebrated last year. Oh, yeah, we should have. What?

Watch party. Oh, God. They said walk party. Oh, no. I don't know what you said. Anyway. Anyway, yeah. 20 and John's a great movie.

I love that. That's what you did before the ceremony. That's what we did before the ceremony. I don't even know how we going to this chat. Imagine if you were late, like you got so into the film and it's like, you're meant to be at the ceremony. What are you doing? Let's just finish it. We're at the ceremony, doka, doka, doka, doka.

Doka, mohamma jihad. That's it. That's them speaking to the terrorists. Yes. Oh my God. Kim Jong-un, his starring role. Oh, man, it's pretty funny.

I don't want to get in this limo and suck your dick. You won't. Now, suck my dick. And I'm having our first date night tonight in about two months. Maybe we don't go to the restaurant. We sit in the car and watch Team America and then 21 jump straight. I laughed so hard. I'm sorry, what platform?

Stand. It was on stand. We also watch Starsky and Hutch. Great big. And then I'm going to watch, because Morgan hates that shit. Like Morgan doesn't mind Starsky and Hutch, but she doesn't like, what's the other one? God damn it. Like silly comedies?

Where he plays simple Jack, the ensemble cast. Tropic Thunder. I want to watch that so bad again. The cast is Jack Black. Robert Danny Jr. plays the black guy. Is Ben Stiller in that as well? Yeah. It's Ben Stiller's movie.

Is that the one where Tom Cruise is at the end? and dancers, because that's trending on TikTok at the moment. He's the, like, the producer, the agent or whatever of the actors. Not just at the end, he's throughout. Is he threw out? He's throughout, yeah, yeah. And Matthew O'Connor, he's in it too, I'm pretty sure. That must have been an expensive film to make.

So funny, though. Was this all the things you watched around the wedding? We talked about all those, but we watched 21 and Team America. Oh, that's so good. So, so funny. Oh, my God, I can't wait to rewatch it. I haven't sat down with a group of dudes because they were his mates, too, not mine. And everyone's watching the movie, and they're all quoting lines ahead of

them coming. Yes. And I was like, I haven't done this in a long time. Oh my God, yes. And when you're all on that level,

it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of you's doing it. I can see how that can be annoying. Everyone was doing it. Everyone's doing it. Have you seen Happy Time murders? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you like that movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You told me to watch that movie. Yeah, very good. The scene with the silly string. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's funny.

I don't imagine Shagai would enjoy it. Not that one. Hang on, you enjoyed the Bonnie Blue doco. Maybe you would enjoy Happy Time movie. We've actually got audio of Shire Guy from watching the Bunny Blue Doco. Oh! Can you tell me where the bang bus is right now?

I can't. Don't act like you can't. I can't. Oh, it's just going through Sussex, actually, as we speak. Going through Sussex? Anyone might come down under one down. Down under? I mean, come.

And down. Imagine if you saw it in Rome and then all of a sudden out pops. It was out the bump! Just out of the van. That's the issue. The Pote Mobile, see-through. The bang bus is tinted at least. It's blue.

Bonnie Blue's in the Popebabil? Is that her for your name? No. I don't think so. Oh, that's a stage name. Yeah. Anyway, how do we always get back to Bonnie Blues? Every day this week.

Shy Guy will find a way. He'll weasel her in. We'll weasel her in. We should play that game. Just start at a random topic and see how fast he can get it to Bonnie Blue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, all right.

Pancakes. Pancakes. How yummy are panlete? Yum pancakes. I like pancakes. Pancakes are so good. You have to bring it. No, no, you just have to bring it.

The conversation. Okay, blueberry pancakes. There he is. It's a tenuous link, but it was a link. It was a link. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got the shit that you like.

There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to tang. Jess. Cone, co. I ain't got to explain. Ducco. You're pus, push, push, push. Got him going insane.

She's a guy. Alfa. What's you talking about? Yeah, what if you have squirty bomb? This is Jess and Ducco. You better believe it. Tay, Tene, look at that. It's Friday.

It's a Friday, Ducker, or is it Friday? Someone put her in our marketing team. Tate Day is upon us. With all the cuts, I am half the marketing team. Yeah, true. Yeah, so true. Yeah. It's Tate Day.

Aren't you CFO? Did you have to take that into your remiss? I'm CFO of the marketing team. That's right. Yeah. You might get sick of a tail of Swift if you know, her new album comes out at 2 o'clock today. And everyone's going to be talking about it.

And here on here, keep it loud. Do we need to address the big fat lie, we said? I think Shagai needs to come out. And I want to distance myself from Shagga. Yeah, don't take the heat. We just get passed on information by the captain of this big old ship. The lie captain. The lie captain.

Or the board lie captain. I believe your pants be on fire. Careful, you'll set off the fire alarm and have, get me in panic attack. Yeah, they be on fire. but also there's 17 emails I've got about it. I think one of them was wrong. Okay. That's okay.

What happened, Shaggart? So Taylor's new album comes out at 1pm on YouTube music exclusively. So if you want to get it early, go to YouTube music. You want to hear it first on hit. 2pm is where you go. But yesterday you told us. Yeah, you told us we'd have a song. It's the email said we will play the single from the album.

Yeah. In our show. Yeah, in breakfast it says. But then another email says it's a Taylor Swift song pushing to the album. Which is not necessarily a song. song from the album. So I can tell you right now, it's just an old Taylor Swift song we're playing. All yesterday afternoon, you and I popping in going, hey, hey.

Here we go. Yeah, we've got Alfa Bucks. Yes, we're giving away Teddy Swim's tickets, but we've got a first play of one of the tracks from the new album. Brand new Taylor. That makes us complicit in this life. I know. It was just in the podcast that we said that, but yeah.

No, no, we teased it. We teased it. It was just, you know, God, the people are going to be disappointed. Also, the label have said don't say Tatee all day. We didn't say that. We said fry tae. Frye Taye. Wait, is there a...

I can't say that. I can't say that. I can't. It just makes it so complicated. You can only call it what we've called it. Which is? Here we go. One of the great names that some of our team is going.

Well, I came up with is. You just hold your tongue. What did I come up with again? R&B fry tays. Oh, Jess. I worked over time. You need a raise. I haven't slept.

You see how bloodshot I am? Yeah, I can. You have many whiteboards. You were texting me last night. You were chain smoking like, what about R&B fry? D. That's right. I had to drop acid.

so I could broaden my mind. I'm very narrow-minded. So I got to broaden. You did. And good on you for doing that. Thank you so much. And thank you for finding the money in the budget. Oh, mate.

I haven't... God, the other people I had to get rid of. Goodness me. No, so that is exciting. That is exciting. It is, hey. Babs is excited. No one's more excited about Taylor Swift's album than bad.

She had a pump-up session. She said, I'm going to go by a mirror today so me and my houseman can listen to and look in the mirror in our new house. So she can look herself in the eye or she takes in the new lyrics. That's so nice. I'm not going to watch myself in the mirror why I'm listening to it. What else do you do in the mirror? Yeah, what, wait, wait.

I don't know. And then, back in your box. Just to continue with. Just close the leaf. You know, like, you know the jack in the box out springs up and we just close the lid slowly? She springs back in. I'm a real boy. No, you're not.

And then all weekend. Yeah. All weekend. Yes. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and then 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Sunday. Both days. That's all weekend, baby. Taylor Swift all day.

Whoa. Nothing else. Somber, he gone. Sabrina, see you. Hang on a minute. Sabrina features on the new album. She does have a song with Taylor. So there you go.

You'll get your Sabrina fix. Imagine if this album didn't slap. Like, imagine if no one really liked it. And Babbs, correct me if I'm wrong, being the Swifty, the resident Swifty. People are concerned because this is written while she was touring. She's loved up with Travis Kelsey. Yeah. Die-hard Swifty.

I've heard on various blogs and podcasts saying her best music, sorry to say, comes from heartbreak. It does. So if she's happy and in a good place, how will that be reflected in the tunes? Yeah, apparently this is going to be more of a party vibe, Babs. What say you? Well, maybe it'll be about, I think there's a couple songs

about struggling on tour, so they might be sad. Okay, dehydration and needing to pee. Yeah, sore ankles. Soar ankles. I saw a theory on why she's gone with the name of the life of a showgirl because Kanye had an album called The Life of Pablo. If you search the Life of at the moment, Kanye comes up as of today.

Oh, she's going to knock him out of the Google search. That's funny. That's the ultimate comeback, isn't it? Yes, because no one's talking about him very much anymore. This is the last, maybe one of the last. Yeah. Really digs the boot in. She ain't forgiven him for that. I'm going to let you finish.

Yeah, oh, no. Incident. Many moons a guy. She's just savvy, isn't? Isn't she? She is. She's one of the great... And I know how you feel about great business-minded women.

Well, you and shy guy. Mainly shy guy. Mainly the shy lord. Yeah. For him, it's like Bonnie Blue-Taleswit. Same rain. Same rain. They should do a TED talk.

I reckon Shy Guy sends me two texts a date. No, I don't. Have you watched the doco yet? Bro, watch the docker. Mate, have you seen where the bus is? Seven minutes 30, you're going to love it. always time stamping for you that's such a good friend

you are good like that and links and then it just sends me I'm like what are you doing what am I sending you? You just send me audio of that I'm Sam and Spudgeoning

Yeah yeah yeah Yes and Shaggy I'm just working out what I'm Yes and Nick too You just always say yes Hey big show for the Friday team though It's not just Slate Day day No no no it's just a ducko day

And Shagai and Babs day too We're drawing Teddy swims tickets For Call of Fame He's landed in the country The Swimman is He is here. He is here. So if you'd like to see him when he comes back a bit later.

Yeah. Yeah. Today's the last chance to get involved. It is. And haven't we had some contributions this week? Some fun ones. But up next. No dumb thought Friday.

You've come in hot. You've said, guys, I felt dumb and I need to share. I had this one on the toilet. And I went, ooh. My favorite place to have a great tool. Yeah, this is a good one. Okay, I can't wait. We'll do it after.

Look at this. It's like we planned it. It's 22, guys. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. If you have a little niggling thought

that you've not felt a safe space with which to share. We are that safe space. We are. 04-8-88-1069. You can remain anonymous or just get in touch on text. We'd call us. We'd love to hear from 13, 1060.

We want to dissect. Yes. And then put you in the running for the Call of Fame, two tickets to tennis games. Yeah, that'd be nice. It would be nice. So we always like your contributions. Make sure you either texting or call in. I've got one for you today.

This one had on a toilet. Back in one out. Fantastic. Are you, are you mid? Oh, I was wipe. I was wipe. And then I had this thought, because we spoke about blind people a few times on our dumb thoughts. Has come up.

We've got questions. How do blind people know when they are finished wiping? How? Because up until this point, Duccoe, we've. We talked about, oh, no, the alarm talk was deaf. Pick up dog poo. We actually had some good insight on to have people messaged in with that. And if you have the answer by all that.

That's right. The guide dogs are trained to poop right near the foot. Yeah, so then they can put their hand down the guide dog's foot and realize the poo's there. Exactly. I can't imagine that's a skill you're getting right the first time. You've got to work on that still. Like, if you're someone like Babs or me and you need like six, seven wives. At what point do you check the paper?

Are you like, I know I need five minimum, then I'll start. I'll check it each time. The rare day I get a ghosty, the rare day I get a ghosty, it's just like one of, like, I literally jump off the toilet and I'm like, this is going to be a day. I know you're not going to like this, because you've already been slightly unhappy at how regular I am. Yeah, yeah. I can do one while I can be done. Like, they are something like, it's an anomaly.

For what you eat, too, do you have cheese and pasta? For what I put in. It's ridiculous. This vessel. It's just. But six or seven is it. Yeah. But at what point are you going, oh, I'm satisfied.

Satisfied, I'm done. Like if I... Have you ever thought about moving to wipes? Like a little bit? No, because it would just be way more messy. No, a wipe, like a wet wipe. Yeah, wouldn't that immediately clean you up? No, just smudge it stuff everywhere.

Yeah, yeah, wet wipes would be the worst idea in the toilet. Huh? In the toilet? Yeah, they'll just smudge things. But, you know, if you were cleaning poo off your hands, you'd use water or something dead. Yeah, but like, I'm not cleaning it on. to my skin. Like, you're wiping, and it's going to, where's the, the, the, the, you need, you need grit.

You need grit, yeah, you need talk to get it. You know why I bring it up? Because I was at her mate's house the other day and I looked down at her spare toilet rolls because I'd finished, I wanted to replace for her. And she had the flushable wipes. Hey, sitting by the loo and I went, oh. So you can get flushable toilet wipes. Yes, and I thought were for people like you who need multiple wet wipes would cut down.

But you're saying you think you're smudgeon. I don't, how messy is it down there? Babs, what do you reckon? I don't know if I'd do a wet wife. I think it was good. Try it. I know we've missed your birthday. You can have to buy them yourself.

I didn't know you could get wet wipes in the toilet. Yeah, no, like adult, not like the baby. People are buying me when toilet paper. Yes. I just feel like it would just be messy. I feel like it would be, I don't know. But I guess it's, yeah. Well, maybe we try.

But the question remains about how do you know, how do you feel comfortable? Yeah. Is it a smell? How do they do it? How do they actually know? Does someone have to come a whole time and go? How did we land on the answer last time? Someone texting.

04AA-1-169. Yeah. I have no answer to you. And now I can't stop. I can't stop thinking about it. Because we're empathetic people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a plight to be in, not always feeling confident.

Surely they can't always have baguys. Yeah. You can't always just have a bidet. Do you need one of those smart toilets that does do the flush up? But even before then, you know, These thoughts haven't been around forever. You're absolutely right. I think we need to talk about this for age.

But I think we need to find someone who I've heard. Yeah, we don't have the answer. We're going around the circles. I have one for you, that. Hit me. I've only recently started wearing bras again. With me on this journey, I gave them up. You didn't yesterday.

And I'm also not today. Yeah, so are you? The outfit has to require it. Shock, I was like, oh, the high beams were on today. I did catch myself in the very... I went, these fabrics thin. Anyway. The blue dress.

It's fine, nipples are in. Yeah. Nipples are in. So supportive, Babs. Why does Babs always wear a brother? Why do you? Because I have huge boobs, obviously. Obviously.

Well, this is what I wanted to get to. Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah. I got influenced. When I had a bra fitting, I've got two good ones. When I do wear them, I do wear them. Because I've now gone years without them, do you think my boobies feel supported for ones in their lives? Or is it like I've put them back in prison?

I think it's like you put them back in jail. Have they been free ladies for about six years? Yeah. And now they've gone back to prison. Because, you know, women often do say, taking that briar off at the end of the day. It's the best. It's like I'm free now.

Yeah, they've regressed. And I can breathe again, whereas my boobies have now gone back to prison. They would feel, they would feel like smothered and covered and forbidden. Is it better or worse that I'm one day on, one day off? I don't know. Because it's like a bit of respite. Oh, now you've got your jail. A bit of respite.

They just think they're being punished and they don't know what for. But today they're being rewarded. Yeah. See, because people tell me I'm encouraging SAG by not wearing a bra, because gravity's going to take them. The brat Holds it up a bit. Holds it up and fights gravity. Yeah, a little bit longer.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, so is that why you're getting bras in? You're like, oh, geez, I've got to... Well, no, I just was offered a free one, so I took it. Oh, SponCon. Right. So you only wear bras when it's SponCon. I'm not going to pay for a brach.

You know how expensive they are? Look, 80 bucks. God, we need some SponCon D-O-Shire guy. My God. I think we've got a bit going on. So you think Jail? I think Jail. Well, lucky there, they're free ladies.

Jeff and Ducko. You've got Oprah. You've got Richard Branson. You've got David Attenborough. Maybe you've got Jane Fonda. Inspiring people, Ducko. Like to add someone to the list. Yes.

Her name's Lisa. She's a TikToker. Yeah, what Lisa do? She's gone viral for being a guest at a wedding. Caused a bit of controversy when she shared what she did at this wedding. I could tell you, but let's let Lisa explain. I went to a friend's wedding recently and it was an absolutely beautiful day but it was a really long day.

The wedding took place at 12pm and there was photos, drinks, more photos with no food in sight I was starting to get hungry so me and my friend who I was with decided to order a pizza sneakily to the venue when it arrived I slipped outside to grab it and I shared it with a couple of other people at the table who were also starving. World got round and now the bride is furious with me and said if I'd just been patient food was arriving in the next 30 minutes

I just don't see how you can expect someone to be at your wedding for eight hours without feeding them anything. She's blown up online. Oh, geez, I bet. As you can imagine. She's going viral. She's hungry. She hadn't been fed.

There was no orangeini balls inside. She went... We're worth the dumplings. Well, I'm going to call Dominoes. Yeah, yeah. And get it delivered to the venue. Well, I've done this once at a wedding. I got Macas.

We got Macas once. Delivered to the reception? Yeah, so we... Amazing. We went from the... Add you to the list, Oprah. David Attenborough. Ducko.

The duck man. We went from the wedding, which is at a church. She don't often get these days to the reception. and there was like three hours in the middle and then the reception canapes didn't start until the first like, I don't know, 45 minutes to an hour.

Yes, when you have to change venues, that gap in between is still up. So then someone's like, should we just get Maccas? So we got Macca's Uber Eats to there. And we went out in the front all had cheeseburgers and fries. And then came back in. And it was great because then half an hour later, everyone's starving. Then the Arancini balls rolled out. A hundred percent.

And we've talked about Arrancini. Whilst I do love them as a canopae, they are the temperature of the sun. Hot. So whilst they might be out, you need to give them another 10 minutes to actually be edible. So did anyone see you, besides the Macca's crew, were bride and groom? I'm pretty sure I posted on social media. But they didn't seem to mind.

I don't know if they noticed or put two and two together. But if you're changing locations, if it's all the one location and I haven't fed you, that sucks. That sucks. And that's what this chick is saying. Like, we've been here since midday. All right, no one expects food before the ceremony. But once you get to cocktail hour, I'm assuming there's drinks. And she did say there's drinks, photos, drinks, photos.

Where's the food? People are just going to get blind. The canopays at a function or a wedding are just key, aren't they? Absolutely. And I know they're expensive. People blow out. I remember one of my friends saying, we're going to go minimal on the canopays because this place wants $7 per spring roll.

I went, well, sorry, but that's now something you need to factor into the budget. Totally. Because you're just going to have pissed off people. Annoy. Or worse, your guests are going to be so drunk before speeches, before the first dance, before the actual food comes out. People do just get really loose if there's no food. So I just love this.

The comments obviously are divided saying that's selfish. You've ruined the bride's day. That's obviously not part of her aesthetic. But everyone else going, don't have a wedding if you're not going to feed your guests. You need to feed them. You need to feed them. You probably spent all your money on the photo booth

and not on the $7 spring rolls. Oh, goodness me. Well, let's make the right choices people. Try only what we just had for my sisters went. There was dumplings that came out. Perfect. There was Arinchini. Because it was all there.

Yeah, yeah. So was it ceremony over? Food straight out. Food, yeah, food right there. Like, there was sushi-my vibe, like salmon kind of vibe. Beautiful. Which was, or Kingfish, maybe it was, which is very nice. Oh, geez, okay, that's where all their money went.

Yeah, yeah. Stunning. Yeah. I remember we went out for dinner just the other day, group of girls, and I didn't realize how spicy some of the choices were. I personally don't think the mushroom dumplings were spicy. But she's going, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Like, are you one of those people who thinks tomato sauce is spicy because these are not. And I could tell she was sort of looking like, can I order some more food, leaving hungry is the worst thing in the world. You can't do it. You can't do it. But I feel like if you're at a wedding at the one venue and the pizza rolls in and everyone sees it and they're like, why, they're getting pizza at I'm not?

Well, that's the thing. She's like, it was only meant to be me and my friend, but everyone then caught on. Everyone wants a piece of pizza. Everyone wants a piece of Dominoids. You better believe it. You better believe it. This would be fantastic for the weekend. Seconds answer. Ten questions all starting with the same letter. How to say your first answer?

Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass. We come back, of course. If there is time stepping up to play today, we have Stewart. Hello, Stu. Hello, guys. How are you? Good morning. We are fantastic for a Friday. Yep. Obviously, we're looking down... Isn't it? We're looking down the barrel of a long weekend.

Shue, what's on your agenda? I've got the smoker getting ready to go because of watching the grand final. Go Melbourne. Oh, no. Nah, I've wanted something to lose more, Stu. Oh, I love a smoking fan. Are you a Melbourne fan? No, no, through and through Melbourne fan.

Oh, okay. Well, that's fair enough, then. Not just jumped on the bad. You're not just hating on the Bronx. No, no bandwagon. Well, I wish you all the worst, good friends. Stuart, I don't know what you've got in your camp, but Ducco's got a witch.

Yeah, I got a witch. Helping the Bronco. So that meat, you're smoking, better be elite. I got witch and toilet water. What do you got? Yeah, well, I hope you wear that jersey and you bring all the bad boots. We do.

She's been playing along. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Is it blowing out this weekend? No, probably won't blow out this weekend. Go away on a holiday with the family up to Queensland. He's smart. Can you know, get his stocks up with the wife? I doubt I'm smart, but let's just use it on the sensible thing.

Yeah. We got a player here, Ducco. Yeah, I think so. Let's see how you go with the vows, Stuart. You're going to work with the letter O. Oh, beautiful. Oh, my God. My husband won 10 grand on Alpha Bucks and now he's taking the whole family to Queensland.

All right, you ready? Yep, I'm ready. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter O, we need you to name, a male actor. Owen Wilson. An appliance. Pass. An international city.

Iran. Oh, no, pass. An occupation. Orphodontas. A beauty brand. Oral B. An animal. Octopus.

A musical. Oh, pass. A shape. Octagon. A six-letter word. Oh, pass. A condiment. Pass.

An appliance. Oh, no. Iran hurt us. A run. Iran. That hurt me. Iran, no, pass. Oh, Rahn.

Yeah. That got me beauty too. I think the tongue was working quicker than the mind. It was. That's normal. O-Sark. Car is what we could have had. Oslo as well.

An appliance could have been in an oven. A beauty brand, you said RLB, that's tooth care. Would you count that? I'd count that. I mean, it's not beauty, I guess. It's teeth. Beautiful. That's a question, Mark, Duck.

I'm happy to defer to you here. I mean, a smile is part of your beauty. I'm happy to say yes. I'm happy to give that. All right, Stuart, you've got it logged. I'm musical. That's a tough one. But Oliver was what we're looking for.

Six-letter word, orange and a condiment, olive oil or oyster sauce. Sauce, mate, you don't get the money. Good, I'm in for the Bronx, but you do get $100 of fuel thanks to O'Brien. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Thank you, too.

Enjoy the game. Enjoy the game. Enjoy the meat, too. I'll pop over to your place, hey? Yeah, go Melbourne. Yeah. Been a brisket? Yeah, me and you, bit of brisket, knocking back.

Nice. Yeah, just discuss a ram. Well, just plan your next trip to a one. Your boys trip to Iran. Nothing beats a jet two holiday. Jess and Ducko. You're right now with Duckie over to the UK. It's lovely to be here.

We're in Nantwich, in Chesh. Cheshire. Is that where the cat's from? It does. It must be. That's what I was thinking. It's the only thing I know Cheshire for. Same. We're here, though, for the quiet art of the World Worm Coaxing Championships. There's a worm in the bottom of my garden. And all he wants to do is what will they think of next? And this is exactly what you think it is.

It's literally people, grown adults, standing around a three by three metre plot of Earth, trying to coax worms out in a set period of time, so they have 30 minutes to do this. I've heard of snake charming ducko. I've not heard of worm coaxing. That's just shy guy going, ha-ha-ha-hame. This is what plays when girls want to pick up shagai. They just play this.

He just rolls out. A certain body part gets to them before he does. And my little worm pops in. They're like, no, mate. We can't tell. What is that thing? I've seen fingers bigger. I'm going to, at the risk of this, at risk of the sting.

Here we go, everyone. What's that? Worm Pokemon. Digby? Oh, Diglet. Diglet. That's you. Doug trio.

You're singlet. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too much. I did. It wasn't that. It was pretty good. It wasn't. Shut up. Anyway, how's this?

They've got 30 minutes to coax as many worms as possible from their designated three-by-three-meter plot. Digging and. And use of water, strictly forbidden. So what are they on, like, in a paddock, that is known to have worms? We know there are worms in there. Okay. And they all sit there and their competitors can shake, stomp, and strum their way to glory with various instruments, such as harmonicas. Do worms like harmonicas?

Apparently so. They like the vibrations. They like the twang. Oh, hang on, your little diglots coming out. Here I am again. Go back, mate. God damn it. It's good to see him, though.

Stop playing the harmonica. I know it's Friday, but not yet. What's going to get shy guy out? Oh, man. It's knowing your worm, isn't it? It's knowing. You've got to know your worm. You've got to know your worm.

You know what gets some worms out? I guess my worm going on. A lot of worms will be out this week. Whoa, wait on a minute. Is it finals, footie? At risk of the sting again. No, no. Here comes Ash Ketchum.

What? Is that his name, Aschaksh? Ash Kacham. Isn't that his name again? Sorry, Jess. Ash Ketchum is the character's name on Pokemon who catches the digby. He's the main guy. The diglets.

With Sailor Moon. A misty. I'm pretty sure it name's Misty. There's a misty in there. Anyway, enough. Sailor Moon is a different podcast. Oh, geez. Oh, geez, I don't know.

I loved Sailor. That's another thing that's on its own. Oh, geez. You've cross-pollinated the animations. Can we get back to the worm, please? Sorry. I've got so much more to tell you. Well, stop getting your diglet out and distracting me.

Oh, damn it. Here he comes again. No, mate. Gotta catch you a ball. This has been a dumpster fire. What else? Okay, so Gordon Farr, who is the co-founder in his 80s. Yep, you can believe that.

He said... The co-founder of the championship. Of the world champs. They're the again. as well, records have come to them. How's this? Sophie Smith, not Sophia Smith. Sophie Smith said a worm-charming world record with 567 worms achieved in the 30-minute time frame. People apparently, they said when it started and the final whistle blew, the entire field erupted

because she had so many worms in her patch. 567 words. I've not seen that many worms, a local name quoted. What was she using? Was she a harmonica? She was a harmonica. Some people put a pitchfork in there and a harmonica, so the pitchfork stays in there,

and the worms think it's raining because the vibrations. Okay. You've got to be careful stabbing the earth with a pitchfork. When you're trying to get the worms out, you could squish them or stab them. It must be raining. They'll pop out like, oh, no, I'm being captured. Wow. It's like a tuning fork.

You know how it vibrates. They're all attracted to it. 3,000 people a year shot for this. To watch or to compete. To compete. And then some to spectate. Apparently. How many freaking worms are in that earth?

It would be a chaotic 30 minutes. Ready, set, go. Just this for 30 minutes. Here, we're going to get the biggest one, you know. Ducco's running around with you. Here I come. Not this little one. Real crass.

Yeah, just remember what time it is. Thank you. How's this, though? There is rules. Rule number 13. Be kind to worms. And I think we could all take that into life. Well, you're stabbing pitchforks into the earth.

Be kind to work. and ducos. What's the threesome? Everybody loves all. Shy guy is going to give us three things. We're going to tell him what they all have in common. Hopefully, exactly how he's written it down. You're going to speak shy guy.

There is no room for movement. Yes, there isn't. Shy guy. Let's go. All right, first one, guys. Fodora, beret. Hats. Panama hats.

Didn't even need a third. Thank you. That was too basic. I feel like there should be more to that. Yeah, I thought that was. It was too easy. No, that's the beauty of shy guy needs. Yeah, sometimes super sims, sometimes way too convoluted.

Absolutely. Here's the next one. NFC, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi. You connect to them. Connectivity. Connectivity. Connectivity. Don't just say my word.

Connectivity. Connectivity. Connectivity. Phone connectivity. Phone connectivity. Software. It's a good one. Not the wording I'm looking for.

Is connectivity wrong? Bluetooth connectivity, phone. Wi-Fi, Bluetooth. an NFC. I don't know what an FC. What is NFC? Something to do with, I don't know. Is there something about music?

Connecting to speakers. No. Just calling. You're not wrong, but it's wireless technology. Oh, course, I was looking for. Morons. Stop saying connectivity. So it went from hats to wireless connectivity.

And now we're about to go to Ash, Mitzie and Brock. Pokemon characters, the humans. They're the... Pokemon catches? The main tree on Pokemon. The main character's Pokemon, the Pokemon catches. I'm just saying what Jess has said. They're the main trainers.

I'll give it. I'll award it. Thank you. Jesus Christ. I don't know if you can, mate. You said trainers? I didn't hear trainers set. Oh my God.

Love the reflection of what just happened on the program. Yeah, slid that one in. He pivoted. Woolly mammoth, a saber-tooth. Exceed animals. They're an ice age. And a giant sloth. An Ice Age. Characters.

Not what I was looking for. Jurassic. Extinct. Is extinct what you want? From the Ice Age. No. So they're nothing to do with the movie Ice Age. Nothing through with a movie Ice Age.

So Woolly Mammoth. A saber-toothed tiger. Oh, they have, they have, um, oh no, they don't. Furry extinct animals? They're at a giant what, sorry? A giant sloth. Four-legged, furry extinct creatures. They've got big teeth.

Have they got, um, have they got, um, have they got, um, have they got, um, have they got, They've got tusks. Nails. Not what I'm looking for. I don't know. They're all... Memels. Prehistory.

Oh, what... I was flirting with Jurassic. You were right there. I was right there. It's right. I didn't push over. Sometimes we get off the path and we think we're not near there, but really, you know?

And I have to award what I've written down. Oh, wait, we know that. The integrity of the game is key. And again, you could be right, but it's not what I'm looking for, you know? James Bond, Jason Bourne, Ethan Hunt. They're action, um, action characters. Fictional. Action, heroes.

James Bond. Vigilantees. Oh, no, they're spies. They're all spies. Oh, Babsy. Yay. Just thank God we got one. We're all one apiece.

Oh, it comes down to this, does it? It can. Do you want me to get my... I think it should. Do you want me to get my tie-breaker music? Yes. Yeah, go on. Hey, diglet.

Oh, hey, what am I doing? Look how excited shy guy is. Maple Leaf, Stars and Strives. Canada! Union Jackson. Things on a flag. Things on national flags. Oh, there she is.

Jess and Ducco. Just quickly. You know, obviously I had my sister's wedding last week. I'm ced at old groomsmen. I've now emceeded eight weddings, which is a couple, isn't it? And not like over your lifespan. That feels like in the last three years.

Like they have been... Since like 2021. It's like the first couple saw you and then went, well, we need him. And then that the ripple effect. And like, obviously they're all free, no payment. No. Because it's like friends. It's an awkward thing.

And the first couple, And knowing you, you're happy to half-assed, don't put too much effort in. Yeah, that's the problem. No, no. It's six months of work. So anyway, I said after this last one for my sister, I'm done. Like, no more I'm seeing weddings. I'm going to say no.

Like, it's not what I want to do, right? It's not what I want to do. Morgan knows about it. Morgan's like, you can't ever do this again. Like, she sees the toll it takes on me. So she's like, no more. And it takes you out of the day, I imagine, because you're constantly thinking this is the job till about 10 p.m.

Yeah, the cocktail hour is ruined. You can't enjoy the al d'oebs and the drinks because you're just like, I'm going to keep tidy. God forbid that orangeini ball is too hot and you burn your tongue. Yeah, yeah. How are you going to perform? I know. Don't get me wrong.

When I get the market, I get power hungry. It's I do have fun. Like, I do have fun in the moment. I just go loose. But still. You're leaning. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Morgan waits for, the wedding's been over now for a week.

Morgan waits to like a couple of days ago. So like, you know, nearly a week's gone by after the wedding. She says, hey, um, so we got some friends who were getting married in like, they were at my sister's wedding. And they pulled Morgan aside and said, they're like good friends with us. And they said, we really want Ducker to MC our wedding. Hang on, they pull Morgan aside. So where are you maybe in this time? Are you doing your thing?

I'm probably doing my thing. And then Morgan goes, oh, I don't know if he will. And they go, oh, no, no, we'll pay him. And Morgan's like, oh, I don't know that. No, no. How money talks. Yeah, yeah. She goes, what do you reckon?

Oh, just a basic. We don't want him to do a song. Any like that. Just a basic performance. We just will give him money. I know, no, yeah. I know. I know.

I love bells are ringing. We'll give him money. And this is my wife who has been like, you're never doing it again. I don't want you to do it again. I want you to do it. And also, I'm never sitting next to her at weddings

because I'm always up doing it. She's left on her own. Exactly. And then she comes up to me and she goes, Hey, so I'll use some fake names. Like Bob and Sue's great mate to want you to emcee their wedding. And I was like, oh, well, did you tell them no? And she goes, well, they're going to pay.

And I was like, well, it doesn't matter. She's like, yeah, but they don't want a song. They just want basic. She's like, yeah, everyone says, She goes, it's not this year, it's next year. You could probably, you could probably do that. And I was like, hang on a minute. Are you selling me?

I'm you selling. And she's like, well, anyway, we'll think about it. I was like, we'll think about it. What are we doing? Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's gone power hungry. That is a betrayal of the highest order.

She's a wife manager now. She's a wifeager. You've married a Christian. I have. I actually couldn't believe it. I was like, really, Morgan? Money talks. Did she get into the next?

It's an itty-gritty of the dollars. But I asked how much. And I was like, well, everyone's good a price. Okay, so no song and a couple of zeros. Well, maybe I've changed me tune. Jess and Ducko. I had an incident yesterday, Ducko, and I need your definitive call. Party foul or play on.

Okay. Get a text from a mate. Mail mate. I think that's important. Do I know this, friend? You do. He's the one you hugged in front of me, but you don't hug me. Oh, yeah, right.

That's our mate. God, he gives a good hug. He's a good hug. But he texts me. Yep. He's never done this before. Hey, are you free to FaceTime? I was like, I am.

What time a day? I just finished from the hairdresser, 1.30 p.m. Yeah. You're free to FaceTime. I said, yeah, sure. So I call him. I'm like, well, I feel like the ball's in my court. I'll just hit it.

Yes, I am free. Clearly, he is free if he's offering this suggestion. FaceTime's usually engagements, pregnancies, big news. So immediately I kind of go, well, that's important. Yeah. Best FaceTime him. As soon as it connects, he goes, oops, sorry, forgot I was shirtless. So he's immediately apologised.

He's in his living room. So he's peaked up and he's got no shoulder. He's like, hey, what's up? I actually think he used the word topless, which felt more intimate. Shirtless does feel maybe more masculine-coded. Topless feels like, oh, your boobies are out. Yeah, it does feel a bit like that. But you're a boy, your boobies mean nothing to me.

But then he made me feel weird that he was topless. And, you know, when I get awkward, sometimes I get worse. And I said, oh, wait, should I take mine off? Oh, no. He went, we'll stop. Hang on. Now it's getting weird. Yeah.

Anyway, we were able to push forward. Yeah. But I couldn't stop looking at his titties because they're staring at me. Did he not just put a shirt on? No. Why did he just put a shirt on? He simply put a shirt on. Even though he'd made a point of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's just doing the peck dance. He's like, so sorry about this. Oh, my God. He's been hitting the gym. He looks good. Yeah. But then I just said.

just said in conversation there was something to discuss to follow back on circle back and I said alright I'll keep you abreast of that and he went ooh a breast and tilted the phone down further to get a real look at his cleavage What was there a need for this FaceTime? Could it have been a phone call?

Like why was it a Facebook? He wanted to show me a video he was working on that's kind of about me so instead of sending me the video who wanted to play it in real time because he wasn't finished the edit. I see. But it just felt so weirdly intimate being on a face FaceTime with me, mate.

Topless. Yeah. I'm trying to think if I've ever FaceTime someone topless. I don't, I don't know if I... Like if you FaceTime to me and I was in a bikini. Yeah. Or getting ready and using my brother. If you were in a bikini on the beach, I'd allow it.

If you were in a bikini on your couch and you're like, hello. He was at his kitchen table. Yeah, so would that feel weird? Did he walk out of frame and he's got a jock strap on? He's like, oh, what's this doing here? You got nothing on. Yeah, yeah. What's happened with?

Yeah. Oh, oopsy. So if you're going to FaceTime, maybe just take stock. But also, he's the one who came to you to FaceTime. Like, he came to you to do it, and he's not wearing his shirt. I feel like... I reckon it was a weird flex. A very weird flex.

He knows he's been working out. He goes, I just want to quickly show off. What do you think? Look at me pears. Who's the weirdest person you can think of getting a FaceTime topless? I'll start. Shy guy. That's not fair.

Jess and Duckow in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer. Ten questions all started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer, you cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass, we come back if there's time. Now, we are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Matt.

Hello, Matt. How you going? Matt, we're fantastic. What would you like to do with 10,000 big ones? Put it towards a wedding. Fantastic, as in the proposals happened and now we've got to plan the big day. That's it. Starning.

Well, congratulations on the engage. Well done, Matt. $10,000 would go a long way for a wedding. We know that. Yeah. You fired up for this long weekend? Sure, mate. Yeah, oh yeah.

Who you're following? No one. Okay, I'm just going to enjoy the long weekend. Just going to enjoy a long weekend. My team's out. Who's your team? A night to think. Oh, yeah, of course.

Very good. Well, I was hoping you might have just adopted the storm purely because your letter is S. Oh, is it S? It's S, Matt. I mean, it's a solid list. letter. You happy with that? Yep, let's go. Let's go. He's fired up, Matt's not here to muck around.

No, he's not. He wants 10 grand to book a wedding. Straight down to business. Absolutely. Your time will start after the first question, Matt. Let's rock. Starting with the letter S, we need you to name. A drink. Soda. A technology brand. Ten song.

A six-letter word. Pass. A ball sport. Soccer. An athlete. A dog breed Shih Tzu An adjective

Singing A board game A condiment A beauty brand A beauty brand That wasn't a bad player Mike author were all 10 Yeah came out with 7 too

S for 7 Oh look at that Six letter word could have been Silver or Spirit Matt An athlete could have been Steve Smith or Shane Worn, and then a beauty brand, Sephora. One of the bigies. Smashbox, not heard of them.

They do a great highlight. As if Matt didn't know Smashbox. Matt, unfortunately. That's a tough carry for Matt. Smashbox has cost you 10 grand. Oh, Mattie. Look, mate, you don't get the money, unfortunately, but you do get $100 of fuel thanks to the legends at O'Brien.

Awesome. Hey, thanks, Matt. Hopefully it didn't disappoint you too much, mate. You know? It's all good. We've got a long weekend of sunshine. Come on. Let's get out there and it.

Live our life. All right. Carpe that, damn. Leave us with something, Maddie. Come on. Leave us for something good. Sorry, he's dropped out. Oh, yeah.

Okay, sorry. Hold on. No, we'll go again. Maddie, the sun is shining. It's a long weekend. What do you got for us? Nothing. I think we dropped out again.

Just let him go. I want to start a podcast with Matt. The chemistry's electric. It's called Phil the Silence. I think the connection's a bit wonky. Matt and Ducko. I'd tune in. I'll support your brother.

It'd be a lot of dead air. Jess and Ducko. We have got a call of fame, Ducko. Swallow that mouth. Sorry. Oh, God, that felt sweet. You always do that to me. I've never been able to do it to you.

I don't know if I get caught eating out there. But I was just eating me oats. I put more oats in there than normal today and they're a bit dry. I was about to say, what's happened? Which you know I love. What happened to that kilo bottle I got? I took it home. I took it home.

Yeah, because... That was meant to be your desk, honey, so you'd never be in this situation. I was worried about ants. I don't know. Well, it took it home. So now... At the risk of us getting off track. Here we go.

Can ants get this high up? Yeah, I think so. I'm living in an apartment at the moment and there's no bugs. Huh, that's interesting. And I'm like, is it because we're on like the fourth story, there's no ants. This is almost a dumb thought, isn't it? Just because you brought up, and we're on the seventh here, I've never seen a critter. Are we Googling? Can we please?

I've Googled it. Can we ever, oh, okay. I understand they have the ability to walk and climb, but I've just never seen. I mean, can now get in a lift and ponder on up? It could just scale the building. It could do that too. An ash? The climate, mate, the wind and the terrain.

They're just little. They can also go up the internally, the plumbing, the electrical. So what's it say on the Google? Yes, ants can scale apartment buildings, climb services and go vertical. See, I'm hard. We've had ants here before, haven't we? Have we? Have we?

We've certainly had ants. I swear we have. I've not, I don't recall. Babs, you've cleaned toilets and stuff here. Have we had ants? I'm sure we have. See, no one's positive. See, I'm hardly wiping down the bench now because I go, there's no ants. It's fine.

And I mean, at my house, not in the office. Oh, don't, mate. Oh, God, yeah, don't. We never covered that. We had office gate again. I genuinely meant at my house. Yeah, shy guy got in trouble. And all staff email went around because shy guy did not clean up his yogurt.

Butter. butter and then someone else came on top of that email thread and said it said it but was it you or was it them it was definitely me well they take why would you argue that shy guy you've just gotten a free pass I get out of jail free that was so funny but why didn't you clean the butter because we were on air it was like it was a big as blob of butter on the beach biggest blob babbs cleaned it later so I owned someone else's clean up sorry what English so he has a bit weird because I think I cleaned up that butter Because Shagga put it on the table

Maybe it was that other person's blob who owned up. It was an email and they sent... Maybe someone else put it on there, yeah. Then they sent instructions and they sent a video on how to clean it. I mean, don't we all have jobs, guys? I was about to send an email just distancing myself from Shagga because I don't want, you know, I don't want to associate with that. Absolutely.

These two represent us every time we step out of the studio. That includes in the kitchen. How hecticly are you smearing butter on your toes? That is flying all over the bench. But a four slices. because they do bansisies as well. Workplace kitchens though. Like there's just a sign

and they're saying dishwasher's full needs unloading and I saw it. I was like, well I shan't be doing that. That's not part of my KPI, is it? I always enjoy the very passive-aggressive your mother doesn't work here so she's not going to clean up after you. It's like I went into the toilet before

and someone left skitties in the bowl and there was a sign that said be courteous to your co-workers and clean. I was like, well I haven't read that. You know who's department. That's a bab's job. Never again. There's skitties and there's more on that now too.

Skitties on skitties. Skittles. Did you add to the skitties or did you try and pee off the skitties? I tried to pee off. Yeah, it's a target. Obviously, you're a target. Wow. But yeah, the dynamics in this place with the kitchen and the dirty.

Remember I spilled oats the other week and I got told off? Goodness. Someone brought in a leaf blow. I'd be like clean up after your oats. What are you doing? But again, no ants. I still haven't seen an ant. You're right.

All right. So bring your big honey in. Back to, should we do 13, 1060? How high are you? Have you got ants? Not mad about that. How far up do you go? It's your last chance to win the call of fame.

Yeah, if you want to see Teddy Swims, tell us about ants. I'm in my fourth-story apartment, no ants. We're on a seventh-story studio, no ants. I do not think an ant. I'm going to open it up critters. Yeah. Can get these. You'll allow other critters?

No, you're right. I've seen a bug on the glass the other day. Yeah, but that was a flying bug, bro. Yeah. Oh, my God. Are we excluding cats? How high are you? How high are?

And do you have ants? Do you have ants? Yeah. Can they get it? Someone's going, thank God. Anyway, I'll play a song and we'll come back with. We'll just see how it goes. Jess and ducco.

Jess and ducco. You, very rare from you, had a mouthful of oats. Yeah, I never normally eat on air. You just express that we are out of honey, which lubricates each mouthful for you, and thus you had to keep chewing. So I do the oats dry. I don't add milk and I don't add yogurt.

All you're treating yourself to is a squeeze of honey, which we don't have. But it made me question you, hang on a minute. a month ago for your birthday, I bought you the biggest thing a honey. You said, took it home, didn't want to bring ants to the office. You didn't want to attract ants. Didn't want to attract ants. And I actually did mean ants as in like the people in the office.

But then we got to do a conversation. They're vultures. Yeah, so true. And then we talked about how, you know. I said, I've never seen an ant higher. Yeah. Do they like heights? I'm in a fourth-story apartment at the moment while we renovate.

This studio is on the seventh floor of the building. I've never seen ants this. Hi, I reckon you'd be safe, bringing in your honey. I'm going to go so far as leave it open. And as someone who's small, you know, it'd be high up for ants. Like, it's high up for me. So, do they like heights? I said a mate of mine message me, Rattles.

And Rattles said, but ants like trees. That's high. Do they? I don't know. Is Rattles hanging out in trees? Yeah. What's the pedigree of Rattles? Rattles.

I thought I know we knew everyone in your life. Rattles is a nickname for him. That I've given him that he's going to love that I've just said it. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I've never seen an ant a tree. And I'd argue it's different. It's part of nature, whereas a structure, like an apartment building or this studio building,

that's going to discombobulate an ant. We go to Josh on 1310. Thank you, team. The producers of timing in. They do live in trees. They do live in trees. They have an ant hill. Hello, have you seen a bug's life?

Christ, where you get your information from, idiots. Can you just talk? Stop typing. They nest in trees. Babbs is having a type conversation with us. But they don't. Ant hills are in the ground. Well, Google says they do.

Oh, does a CHAPT? He doesn't know everything. Hey, Josh. Joshy. Yeah, great back. What's your story involving ants? Well, it's my sister's rural property. It's not very high.

It's a single story. And she woke in the middle of the night to this scratching around. She went to the kitchen and there was an echidna rumbling around in the dishwasher. That turns out it was eating the ants in the dishwasher. It came through the dog door and ends up eating all the ants in a dishwasher. They were in the dishwasher. What? Yeah.

So hang on, obviously the... Scratching around on the stainless steel inside, making a ruck. And she said, what is that? So it was in a kidnap. Josh, so obviously, the dishwasher door, she's left open, right? And a kidnap can't open a dishwasher. No, that's right. Okay, so it's...

She's left it open a jar or... Yeah, it's scurried itself in because it can smell. Why are ants in the dishwasher? I have heard this in summertime. They seek out water. That's why you might find them in your bathroom, in your shower, because they're literally seeking out water. What did she do, Josh?

What was her next step? Well, I think she got, like, some kitchen utensils just to try and, you know... Got the tongs. Get out of here. Yeah, like, you know, like the cowboys, will hit, hit, hit, and they try and master the cows. Yeah, thank you, Josh. That's a good story. Oh, bloody, Akitna.

Now, we go to Nadine. Nadine, you live in a two-story house. I do? All right, what do you got? Okay, you ready? Yeah. First of all need to understand, how do you guys not know about ants? Like, you live in Australia.

How do you not know about... about ants, anything about them? I know plenty about ants. Did you not hear my whole stuff about the mounds and the hills? What have you got extra? Yeah. They don't live in mounds. They live underground.

Yeah, obviously. And they come out to find food. So generally if they find food straight away, they're not going to climb floor stories. But they can climb to the top of the tallest trees. Ants are amazing. They're my best friends. And when they break into my house, I feed them.

You feed them. You've got pat ants. No, Nadine. You don't be feeding the ants. Pretend you've got ants, right? There's ants called scouter ants, right? So when you see a scouter ant,

you know that the rest are going to come. So what they do is they come. They find food and they'll run back and tell everybody else. And the next thing you know, you've got ants everywhere. Nadine's identifying the different types of ants. Yes, she is. She's like, oh, scouts, which means the herd is not far behind. They are.

Here's the rest of them. Hang on, Nadine's... Then you follow them back and you put the food, like I use biscuits, you crumble biscuits, It's outside where you found the entry point, and then you spray inside the house, and they won't come back in. Okay, so you're happy to feed them a little bit, but then you're spraying and keep them outside.

But again, Nadine, you're two-story house, climbing trees. That's not answering the question about a seven-story building. Yeah, seven-story building. But the answer is they don't need to. They're going to find food before they get to seven-stories. Ah, so Nadine, okay, well, she's kind of backing us up. They're not going to come all this way up. That's what I was sort of saying.

Go on, Nadine. I didn't know we'd find such passionate ants. Yesterday it was camels. Today, it's ants. We have become national geographic. I've never heard someone so passionate about ants. I love it. Haley, you're on the sixth floor.

Yes, I am. Right now, Haley? Not right this second. I'm at work right this second, but this morning I was, and we've had ants in our coming three-eye window. There you go, Haley. So obviously, you've got enough going on that the ants have gone. We will make our way up to the sixth floor.

Wow. Yeah, we couldn't believe it either. I was like, what that? Thank you, Hayley. You get them up this high? Yes, you do. Did you get out of this often? Because Haley, clearly, you've been on, maybe on the 6th floor for a while, never experienced it.

This is the first time. No, we've had it twice. This is our second time now. And you know what? Both days? Monumental days. Surprise. Let's get Haley and Nadine on to fight it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got to Lee. Here, Lee, this is amazing. You love it level eight. Yeah, level eight. and no bugs, no flies, no mosquitoes, nothing. No ants? I don't even have screens on my balcony doors.

We can just have them open. Yes. More likely to get a bird fly in than we would get a bug. There you go. Thank you, Lee. So, ants will go to level six. That seems to be the peak we have found. They won't come any higher.

And I wonder, like, if we think about trees in nature, maybe they're six stories high just naturally. So that's the peak we've found. They're not getting any higher than six stories. No, so here on level seven, Ducco, I think your honey is safe. Long story shortly, I can bring my honey into work. Yes, absolutely. Thank you, Lee.

I've never been proud to be part of this show. Shy Guy Babs, how do you guys feel out there? Because they're shaking their heads at us. Babs is mad because you disputed her fact about them living in trees. She's holding on to that, is she? Getting a D-Nod. She said they live in the thing in the underground. The dean's the ant expert.

Nadine also called Shy Guy Babs, so I don't know. Jess and Ducko. We have a diary right now. Chalk us sent an email last night. He just said, been thinking about it a lot, and I want to rebrand it from Shy Guy's diary to the producer's diary. That's right. Shy Guy and Babs, that's a few, too many words.

What's Bab's got on him? Now that's a hell of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you do yesterday? What's the conversation? What she did yesterday was put Snapchat filters on me. That was funny as, actually. That was good.

The CD-Born one. Yeah, I did have a good loll at that. Fat guy was very funny. Yeah, fat guy, shog, I was funny ass. You can see the one I got a review with a moustache. Oh, no, there was no filter for that one. Oh! Apply water to burn!

Yeah. Have you been... Did you think about that? That did not just come out there. You've pre-plained that. You've played that. He looked like he read that. That was planned here.

He's the worst improviser. You can't think on your feet. No, no, no, no, I did. You took a photo of her yesterday. You saw she had a moustache. And so you're like, I'm going to hold this over. I'm going to put this in my back. Poor Babsie.

What do you say back to that? Okay, fair enough. I haven't been waxed for a while. There was just a conversation yesterday. Wow. Well, is this the only time we see the producers diary ducker because the wedge that has now been inched into this relationship. He's brought that with her before.

He wouldn't have dropped that live and dangerous on it. No, no, that was live and dangerous. Oh, no. Wow. I mean, her hair, her eyebrows and now her upper lip. I didn't talk about those things. No, but we always do. You're in those chairs. You're there. You're complicit. Wow. So that is, that makes this very interesting.

It does, does. They've collaborated. Yeah, so they're a team. On reflecting on the week that was. See, well, this is the producer's diary, but next week it could just be shy guys. Could just be bad. Who's to say? Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko.

After years of asking for it, I've finally. only took Jess out on a lunch date after the show. It wasn't too long into our day that Jess started role-playing how she'd be my wingwoman, but I'm not sure we're on the same page with her approach. We played the scenario out as though she's walked past. I've grabbed her, said, excuse me, can I talk to you for a second? I just want to introduce you to my friend. I bring her over.

Wait, you do a role-play right now? We're doing role-play while we're eating our sandwiches, yeah? You know, I can't get Angus to roll-play. I didn't we shall go. So we're playing it out as though I've brought her over. I think the conversation, the roleplay will now become, how we'll all mingle, what a great wingman I'll be. Before I can get another word out, Shaigo goes,

right, so you'd bring her over and then off, didn't you? No, that's not exactly. He wouldn't want me. It would be like bringing your mum to a date. So I dragged this girl over and then I have to walk off. Is that not the strangest scenario in the world? I think just you two eating a sandwich during role play is one of the funniest things I can picture.

Yeah, we're doing role play. Yeah, yeah. I... What do you think we were going to talk about? I don't know, but this is, yeah, this is up there. This sounds like a fun time, doesn't it, Babs? But the sandwich was killer. It's great sandwich.

Gen Z have created a new thing when texting called the punctuation cushion. At the end of a sentence, instead of putting a mean full stop, you now put a space and then a full stop. That's dumb. You stand on people who say, ha, space, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's psycho, right? You know in Greece when he goes like, ha, ha. Neathe, do it. Did you just quote Grease?

Get out. What? It's just happened. It's just far too niche. Hang on a minute. I don't. I don't. Grease, the Revolta lightning.

Does John Revolta do that? Yeah, he's standing at the jukebox and he goes like, ha. You have just brought us a Gen Z punctuation story. You're 24 years old. And in the same conversation quoted Greece. You deserve to be crushed under the boot. Sandy, don't make me laugh.

Ha, ha, ha. Ducko celebrated the wedding of his little sister, Laura, last weekend. Now, while he was an exceptional MC, he did reveal to us that he's yet to give her a wedding present. This one for you, though, I did forget to get my sister a wedding gift. Okay, well, you're not in... You know, I produced a song. I spent $300 making that parody song and then did a parody song with an MC.

You know, I always look for chances to support you, but again, as the gift giver... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, your sister, I'll not support you in this case. Thank you, mate. That's a thousand bucks cash in an envelope. You've got to put that in the... What, $1,000? I was thinking, like, 200.

I'm sorry, my sister a lot. He's ethnic. She's ethnic. So, it's just... But isn't your brother-in-law, isn't he got ethnic in him? Yeah, but I don't. Yeah, but you're now...

I'm Aussie. But now, in-law, ethnic by association. Yeah, yeah. You've got to come to their level. I know, I actually sent to him. I was like, oh, we forgot to give you a card. We left it in Flows bag.

So sorry, we'll just send you money. They go, oh, you can take a photo of the card. And I was like, oh, no, Morgan. We've got to go buy a card, write in a card, take a photo sent to him, and then transfer the money. Done it now, haven't I? Just bought a new fashion trend to the team. It's pretty simple, and it didn't take long for me to realise it's basically what I wear to work every day. Back in your heyday, when you were going out for dinner and then to the club, would you all message each other, hey, what are you wearing?

Hell yeah. Jeans in a nice top. Jeans in a nice top. Exactly. And Shagga sends me a voice memo. Fellas, jeans that a nice top are back. jeans and a nice top is what everyone would wear jeans and a nice top. But obviously as we got into like, I don't know, late 2000s,

that all went out the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas the bald as Bianch is saying it's back and we can be wearing our casual denim with some sort of sparkly number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what is acceptable to go out for dinner, to go out on a date, to go out with your gals. I like fabs, what say you?

It's a thing. It is. Yes. That's what me and my friends say to each other. We say, what are you wearing? We said jeans in a nice top. Oh my God. Look at what she's wearing today.

Jeans is a nice top. No, you said nice top. And what are you wearing? This isn't about me, mate. It's not a millennial lady. Earlier in the year, we covered the world's first ever sperm race, where you guessed it, sees two guys race their jizz through a specially designed track

in front of a crowd of millions of people. Demination! Well, it's been given a big funding boost. I wonder who the sponsor will be. $75 million. I'm pouring this into these seed races. 75 million. Who's the major sponsor?

It doesn't say, but I'm presuming just rich investors. Okay, so it's not like brand name. No, no, no. You'd get a stadium. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's not Apple. No one wants to be the brand name associated with the sperm race. Spirm race by Nike. Just do it.

Spurn race by Bingley. Beanley. Lino. No, Mom, I don't want to raise sperm. Oh, they're not advertising with us anymore. That just came out. Keep going. I know.

Sorry. See you next week, Rice Cookers. Yes and Docco. Call on a fake promise Every week We dangle a juicy, juicy carrot encouraging you to get involved in the show In the program.

In the program on 131060 Any Chance You Can this week It was an absolute ripper A double pass to see Mr Teddy Swims Now he is obviously headlining the NRL this Sunday He touched down this morning He's here, Swims is here And he's going to be in Australia for two weeks.

We're not sending you to the grand final to see, and we're going to send you to his show. Yep. And give you accommodation. It's pretty good. You just had to get involved, and we had wonderful contributions. Oh, yeah.

Stella. But there's one person who really schooled us yesterday, Duck, and we haven't... We're not even sure if she likes us. She just educated us on camels. We asked... That's a girthy camel. God, it sounds almost giraffe.

It does, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to encounter one of those in a dark alley. Well, ask Sonia about it, but first, let's play the audio. That's right. Yesterday we asked on the show, you went out for X but came home with Y. You set out for one thing, but oh my God, the universe had other plans. Sonia told us this. Well, we actually went to a heavy horse day, like to watch the Clydesdales and how they long rain them.

Oh, yeah. This was when we were living in Mudgy. And we came home with a camel. So you're only meant to be a spectator But obviously this camel spoke to you and went Look how many hump is that a three humpus? She's coming home Mom, we've got to get it

Well, it was actually a hands-on thing And there was a guy there with a mule And the guy that had the mule We went to have a look Our kids were little And he had a camel for sale So we bought it But then we had to find the camel a friend

So about a year later We bought another camel and I had a baby camel that I raised and then we had another two camels, so he had four camels. And then we went on. The conversation went on with Sonia for a little while. It did. The education about the humps, the number of humps.

I learnt the word dromedary. Yep. Oh, yeah. I learned that two hump I wouldn't get with a one humper. No, no. And there is no such thing as a triple humper. No. No.

Thank you for joining with the show. Thank you for educating us for being passionate about camels. It's one you're the call of fame, babe. Thank you. Oh, my gosh. Sonia, you at work? Yes, I am. Yeah, you got to be quiet.

Oh, fair enough. When you called us yesterday, did you have a camel in the background of that audio? No, I didn't. No, I was actually in the car. I think we were hoping. There was a sound there that we were like, oh, my God, wash you with the camels. Is this an accurate camel sound, Sonia? Sorry.

Was that an accurate camel sound that I played, like that one that I played out? It was pretty good, yeah. Quite grunty. Quite grunty. And I didn't have that actually. Sonia, do you still have that original camel and the offspring on your property? Not the original. We don't have the property anymore.

Okay, fair enough. We've moved on for a lot. But we rehomed the camels and two of the camels had a baby last year. So, yeah, we keep in touch. So your family, the dynasty, lives on. Yeah. I love it. Witnessing a camel berth would be up there.

I'd want to like to tick that off in my lifetime. Can you imagine those legs coming out first? Oh, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Oh, yeah, be cute. Anyway, Sonia, get back to work, hey. I know. You enjoy seeing Teddy soon.

Everyone's listening. Oh, are they listening? I hope they're congratulating. Yeah, you've got to be a pound over the week. They are. Good, good, good. You deserve the accolade. You deserve everything.

Thank you, Sonia. Thanks for joining us. Thank you so much. Adios. Adios. I could have asked so many more questions about her camels. So many. The tribe.

She didn't Sonia yesterday. Wasn't she different to Sonia today? It just shows that word. It works, Sonia's different to home, Sonia. As, it's a bit of a severance, isn't it? It was. It feels like it should be. Yeah, it was.

We got party, Sonia yesterday. Yeah, we did. And now we got business, Sonia. We got cutthroat, Sonia. Yeah, yeah. We got the front of the mullet. Yeah, yeah. She's all business today.

All business. She's off to see Teddy Swims. Hey, hell of a week, team. You guys have all been great this week. Straight back at you, brother. Enjoy your finals football this weekend. I personally read the game, watching my team, probably win the premiership. Love that.

attitude. If you missed it, go back on the podcast yesterday. We paid for, yes, we pay, people think radio doesn't have any money. We do. This is why. We paid someone in Turkey. For a witch, oh yeah, what was my little theme? The mystical nunah. Hold on, I've got it down here. I took a photo of it so I can say it pre-game. The witch has cast a spell to remove Ducko's bad juju so when he walks into that stadium, he doesn't infect the Broncos. I carry joy not fear. I carry hope not burden. I am here to cheer. to control. So what Ducko's going to do, if you are heading to the stadium, look out for the duck man.

You're going to get as many Broncos as you can before you step foot in to do a group chant. See how that goes. I would love. What are we saying? No. I paid for a witch. Yeah, yeah. What?

Who are you? What's a duck? It's a big quiet. It might just be ducko and his friend. Good luck. Yeah, thank you so. Because if you lose, you are to blame. Yeah, I know.

And that is a heavy burden to carry. It's a tough burden to carry. I don't know if I'm fully to blame, but, you know. I'll be, no, no, it'll be on your shoulders. I don't lose, lose for me. Well, it could be a win. If they win, I'm fine. If they lose, it's going to be tough.

I probably won't show up to work on Tuesday. That's the issue of the big stick. Like, we've put it out there now that it's your burden to fare. I know. Like, Ezra Mam can do what he can. But can he offset your bad luck? I don't know, hopefully. Fingers crossed.

Benny Hunt redemption story. Yes. And the rest. I wonder if Reese is drinking toilet water as we speak. Obviously. I know I was. I have been all morning. In solidarity. So whoever you are celebrating the long weekend. Hey, if you're working, thanks for keeping the economy afloat.

We love that. We love you. Whatever you're doing. We'll see you Tuesday. We've got a co-fodd. Yeah, we do. Teets to see Lewis Capaldi. Every day you get involved, you can see Lewis. We're a show of the stars. We are a show of the stars. I love it. Shogar, anything you want to leave the audience with before we head off into this long weekend.

Two o'clock today on hit. Oh, Taylor's new album. Track to Track. Track to track. And then all day tomorrow. Close to 5 am. Sorry, what is the track. Top to bottom, baby. You mean back to back?

Back to back. Track to track, baby. Or killer, no filler, you know. Was that in the memo? This is show I did with some solo jock here. I've got some of that. I've found some of that the other day. I'd love to hear that.

Oh, we're playing that next week. You tried to know you ever tried to go on air. Yeah. I always thought you just, you liked it behind. A BTS guy. I was forced. And not the Korean pop band. So you were back announcing Taylor Swift.

I did like one weekend. And then you're like, this isn't for me. I'd love to see how we integrate a YouTube. YouTube interview into it, you know. That's like me showing up to an accounting firm. I'm here to work. I sit down. This isn't for me.

Another feather in my cap. Thank you very much. Diversification. Don't put me in a box. I'll find some audio over the weekend. Your LinkedIn profile, it's just essay long. Roller skating, what a guy. You would put roller skating on your website.

You would put that on a skill. You can't say I'm not good at it. I used to have special skills on my resume. It was downhill skiing. Why does Judy three need to know I ski? I thought it made me look culture. Travel. Rich.

She skis. She's well. And downhill, too, very fast. She's quick. Watch me on moguls. That's funny. Anyway, good luck. Thank you.

I'll forget it's on. So you tell me what the score is. You're usually how I see updates on your Instagram stories. See my Instagram stories. I'm not going to do the early crow like I did two years ago where I said it's one we hadn't won it. Wait till the end. Save your heart Oh, I fear for you

I know, I fear for me too I'm gonna, yeah, anyway All right, we're out of here We'll see Tuesday Bye bye Bye You can see the one I got a review

With a moustache Oh no There was no filter for that one Oh! Apply water to burn Jess and Ducco That was the Jess and Ducco

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