Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | omg!

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

What did Jess' husband do that left her saying omg! We find out what your kid hid and Producer Shy Guy wraps up the week in his diary Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast time team. Here we go! Here we go! Ah yeah. Let's get ready to rumble. Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble. How did we feel today? Strong show. There was a good vibe early on. You could tell it was a Friday in the opener. You know what I mean?

We all had a bit of a pep in our step. We absolutely did. For me, it's been a tough week because Wednesday I thought was Friday, and I've just been chasing my tail ever since. Fair enough. Yeah. It's nice when you get to Friday and you go, oh, crap, it's Wednesday.

There's so much more of the week. Hang on a minute. Hang on. Yeah, best feeling. But when the reverse, ah, it's challenging. And we had a shorter week last week. We had a little cheeky Friday off. So, you know, having a full five day, I was tough.

That's tough. Your stamina. Listeners didn't know that. Well, we still gave more new content. A few people did. The keen listeners. Some eagle ears. It was all new content.

We just had to get away. I had to do a wedding thing. I've had an interesting week, hormonally, weird to say. Oh, yeah. Remember I told you earlier this week about that book I'm reading, The Dopamine Effect? Yes. All I can think about now in a moment where my mind's not going 100 miles an hour

is my dopamine levels. So when I'm feeling good, I'm like, ooh, I think my dopamine's spiking. Ooh, ooh. What's the head of dopamine? And then when I'm sort of feeling a bit blur, I go, oh, I've crashed my dopamine. So I'm really trying to be conscientious. Of the dope. But I'm getting too oh, I've crashed my dopamine. So I'm really trying to be conscientious. Of the dope. But I'm getting too inward.

I've got to forget about this. Are you feeling it now when you go to the gym and you do a session? You're like, bang, dopamine hit. Yes, because the big thing about dopamine is effort. You are rewarded with dopamine, the feel-good hormone, when you put in effort. I don't do anything effortful in my week except my two sessions. Your two gym sessions.

Well, one this week. I got hair on Tuesday, so I cancelled my gym session. Oh, jeez. So yesterday, doing my little back squat. Yeah. Dopamine. Oh, yeah. Oh, spot on.

What are we chucking on the back? Got up to 75. That's good. For three. Barbell, 75. Barbell on the back, 75. Nice. Thank you very much.

So we're working. I would like to hit a hunji at some point in my life. Really? Yeah, I think that feels like a nice round number. Have you ever squatted 100 before? Yeah, when I was in my ball days. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I think I do remember that.

Only for one, though, which I'm sort of like one rep max to me feels pointless. I go to the gym for functional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if I could do 100 for three, holy moly, get out of my way. What do you squat in these days, Babs? I don't really do back squats anymore, but when I used to do CrossFit, I could back squat 70 kilos. Okay.

CrossFit is heckin'. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't done it for a while, so. What's your, what do you, what do you get? You got big glutes.

My 1RM for a back squat is 140. Damn. That's a 1RM. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's. And that was some time ago.

Like, you can't do that all the time. Absolutely. You've got to be in the zone for that. And that's what the PT is always saying. He goes, what are your goals? I'm like, you know what my goals are. I want to be 85 and able to get up and down off the floor. I have no desire to 1RM anymore.

Exactly. I did lift a 150 once for 1RM and now I'm like, fuck that. I just want to stay in a good zone, feel strong, feel healthy. I'm not enough in the gym circle where that would be a bragging or a talking point. I just want to be functional. My knees started clicking, though. Yeah. And Kynan's going, oh, Jesus, hello.

Who brought the glow sticks? I went, shut up, man. Shut up, man. Oh, I'm breaking glow sticks. And then I couldn't talk about a dopamine crash. I went, oh, no, what I can hear is my knees clicking. Yeah. I feel like an old lady.

But they do say the best thing for longevity has been longevity. There's been a lot of health podcasts and stuff saying that putting your muscles and your bones particularly under load-bearing tension and stress is very good for longevity. Yes. So not so much running. No. Or endurance. Running's good for the head and heart, bad for the body.

Yes. Whereas weightlifting is actually when you get older and you want to grab something or hold something to lift or bend over, putting your bones under that load bearing pressure and stress. Very good. You should see my mom. You know, she does the boot camp with a PT. They do it over FaceTime.

I don't even know where he lives. You should see her. I watched her do a session once. She goes, you want to join me? I went, absolutely not. She's doing burpees. She got kettlebells. My dad found something on eBay that these old

school looking Arnold Schwarzenegger world gym stuff. You got a door, you got a gym. Yeah, dumbbells. I went, you're amazing at your age. And what she's doing and what she now can do with the grand baby, with the you know, she's out on the surf and she can handle. That's what I want. It's crazy.

That's what I want. It's even like, even when I go to my gym, there's still, when you're trying to lunch and stuff, people much older than me or whatever, on the Saturday though, when it's like a hard group session or whatever, sometimes I look around and I go, I'd be in the older bracket now in terms of early twenties, mid twenties. And then like, there'd be people late thirties, but like I'd be in the, on the weekend in a hard class. Isn't that interesting?

Yeah. Because I find where we live as well. Don't you think? I don Because I find where we live as well, don't you think? I don't know about where you grew up. I don't remember my group of friends in our 20s being gym obsessed. Oh, we were. But boys are. Whereas here, I look at groups of 20-year-olds, Babs,

maybe your friends are similar, and they are gym obsessed. They are not missing maybe six days a week. They might have a Sunday off. Those tights are just sucked right up the booty. Oh, that ruching in the crack to make your booty really scrunch. The scrunch. Do you wear those or scrunch pants? Well, I've got a pair, but they're invisible scrunch, so you can't see the scrunch.

So they don't accentuate. It doesn't accentuate. No, it does, but it's not visible, so you can't see. It's like an optical illusion. So it's like, yeah, you can't actually see the scratch, but it's still. Question, do you wear undies underneath that? Yes. Yeah.

I'm not gross. I know people don't. I don't know how you do that. My GP told me not to. Yeah. She's like. Well, I would just feel self-conscious. That's how you get swamp crotch.

If there's too much fabric, you're building heat and moisture, and that's where you get, you know, ladiescapies. You don't. Ladiescapies is great. But also you think about like people's bums and bodies being on all the gym equipment. Yeah. And I don't bring a towel to the gym. I just.

Well, I do just for that reason. Bumgy sweat. I think Ducko's been here today. I can feel him. I mean, I have to wear undies at the gym. One time when I didn't, when I was going through the whole fertility stuff. You'd have a ball pop out. Oh, it's just, it's too, it's too dangerous.

When you do bench press. Yeah. Oh yeah, so you're lying there on your back, your legs have got to be over either side. That is a clear view. The window in. Yeah, you don't want to look into that. The eyes are the window to the soul. There's not much to see for me, though. Or your shorts are a window to your scrote.

They're like looking down at my pants going, where is it? Whereas when Shaga does it, it's on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He gets the, you know when people get a C-section and they put that modesty curtain around so the lady can't see? That's what he needs when he bench presses. Even when he's wearing undies. Like Ming Ming, the panda, when she gave birth in Anchorman.

Jesus Christ. Sorry, Jess, that's just far too niche. Ming Ming, the panda in Anchorman. You know, they put the screen up. I do remember the birth of the panda. I couldn't tell you the name. And then Ron Burgundy gets to have one little spot and see Ming Ming the Panda in Anchorman. You know, they put the screen up. I do remember the birth of the panda. I couldn't tell you the name. And then Ron Burgundy gets to have one little spot and see Ming Ming. I don't wear undies at the gym because my gym shorts have underwear built in.

No, it's because you... Oh, they got the built in undie ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right. The mesh. No, no. Is it mesh? You can get like normal.

No, it's like proper. Some have them, yeah. Spear weed. But even them, I don't trust them. I've got a lot of trust in them. I double pack sometimes. Yeah, I can. No bum juice.

No bum juice, fine. Do you need to get some more undies? Hopefully next week when we have tradies, we can get some from tradie. Do you know what? I was about to say the same thing. Doing a load of washing the other day. My husband's, he's entered dad undie territory. The elastic's all gone.

Every second one has a hole in them. I went, babe, we need to do something about this. We need to touch something up. Yeah. Yeah, we can hit up in them. I went, babe, we need to do something about this. We need to touch something up. Yeah. Yeah, we can hit up Tradie. We're getting $500 spent on them next week, so we may as well. Get a couple of pairs for the boys of the team. I was going to say, I'm running out on you.

They do ladies' tradies. Yeah, they do ladies' tradies. I only put bamboo downstairs. Yeah, I've seen the ads where they do the rugby sevens players and stuff. Okay, well, I'm in. Yeah. Bamboo undies. I got rid of all my, honestly, I've changed the game. they do the rugby sevens players and stuff. Okay, well I'm in. Yeah. Bamboo undies. I got rid of all my,

honestly, I changed the game. You know Jess has sensitive skin. Can't you smell her? Well you can't because bamboo brings. Yeah, yeah. Because this studio is like 12 degrees.

Oh, they do do bamboo. There you go. Oh, fantastic. Okay, I'm in. We're in. We can do a little photo shoot. I love that. Yeah.

Yes. Babs would be really keen for that. Yeah, I'd love that. So much. Babs is so into it. I have really wanted to do a social experiment. Babs would be really keen for that. Yeah, I'd love that so much. Babs is so into it. I have really wanted to do a social experiment, and Babs, maybe you can volunteer as tribute. I want to do a social experiment of you come out of the bathroom at a shopping centre and your dress is tucked into your undies.

Hey, you've talked about this. And I want to see if the average person will tap you on the shoulder. Stop you. And I think Babs should be the one to do that. I reckon Babs should. Or toilet paper hanging out of your pants or something. And we'll put a bit of Vegemite on it.

Ew. I don't ever think I shit myself. Obviously, that's the idea. But then is someone going to help you? I don't go at

shopping centres. Yeah, I can see that. You don't go to shopping centres? No. Morgan doesn't even like winging at shopping centres.

I'm like, just hover and squat. And she's like, nah, it's gross. If we didn't have the urinal. Yeah, it'd be gross. Yeah, I probably

wouldn't either. Very happy to. It'll be interesting. Just put shit on the floor of your Yeah, it'd be gross. Yeah, I probably wouldn't either. Very happy to. It'll be interesting. Just watch shit on the floor of your living room if you need it. I go in the display ones. Oh, this isn't the bathroom. With the plastic shield. Yeah.

It'll be interesting once the baby comes along, Ducker, using the You'll Be Like Me and Judge shopping centers, restaurants, any venue on their facilities. Their baby change table. I've got a friend who refuses to use anything at a shopping centre. She'd rather walk back to her car and do it in the boot of her car. Every time I go into a pub and if I'm using the disabled because I do a sneaky number two and you take down the baby change table, it's just covered in white powder. Let's be honest.

Talcum, obviously. Obviously, talcum powder. For the chafing of the baby. But like, I mean, those things, very emerging for the baby. Who is doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I mean, those things, very emoji for the baby. Who is doing what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. I mean, I get it.

It's a flat surface, but bloody hell, a child is going to be on it. I know. Ridiculous. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of the greats, having to change a pooey nappy at a pub. Oh, it's just. It's a rite of passage.

Yeah. It's a rite of passage. Might as well just do it back in the car and say. You may as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, hey, it's a big show. Really sit back and enjoy it. We learned as well, yeah, yeah, yeah. But hey, it's a big show. Really sit back and enjoy it.

We learned about Babs' incest line dancing. Why is it incest? What? It does give. It does give. It gives a bit of like, you're my cousin, I'm your cousin. Every second person is related to you by some degree. He's my third cousin's grandfather. You probably danced with him.

Do you go back to your hometown now and you're just lauded on the street? Lauded, yeah. People start bowing and shit. Throwing silver dollars at her. They're like, oh, she's here. She's back. Hoogie, hoogie. The prodigal daughter returns.

And then I walk around and start waving like the queen. Yeah, love that. Here she is. She boot scoots into town. That's me walking through Maitland Mall. Walking through the levee. Have you looked at the fountain at the levee lately? That little statue at the top? It's Babs. That's me walking through Maitland Mall. Walking through the levee. Have you looked at the fountain at the levee lately? That little statue at the top?

It's Babs. That's me. It's the Queen Babs. Anyway, enjoy the show. Jess and Tucker in the morning. Welcome to Friday Team. Oh, hello. Howdy, dude.

Oh, what a time. Here we go. We've got a pep in our step today. It's Friday, baby. It's Friday. I have woken up on the correct side of the bed. Yes. Have you also woken up?

I too have. The big question, has Shy Guy? Yes, I have. Oh, that's the most positive I've heard him. A little unconvincing, but we'll take the words coming out of his mouth. It's a big weekend. NRL's back, baby. Oh, that's right.

The Vegas. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. You're going to settle in and watch it on your television. Yeah, I'm excited for that. NRL 360's back. We're back, Jess. We're in full swing. AFL's back soon.

The world is healing. Back into the swing of things. It's also a happy birthday to my wife. It's her birthday today. Oh, that's right. You know, for some reason, I must have put it in or accepted it. Oh, yeah? The Apple calendar is amazing. It's come up for me, Morgan's birthday.

That's so handy. I'm like, I did not put that in this year. No. It must just be like, oh, you sent her a text three years ago. We'll log it as a regular thing. Can we normalise getting that into our calendars because no one's checking the Facebook thing anymore? 100%. 100%. 100%.

So difficult. When I get invited to an event on Facebook, I don't see it until after the event most of the time. Or unless one of my girlfriends texts being like, hey, the group chat's popping off. Oh, it's busting. Why do we even have a group chat on Facebook Messenger? 100%. What's the point? What's the point?

But you're right. Since we've moved away from that, I don't wish anyone a happy birthday. It's just too hard. You know what? Have you noticed we're moving away from the bulk Instagram stories as well? Yes. I'm not seeing as many people doing. That's not a thing anymore.

That wasn't really a thing last year, was it? I feel like it's fading. Yeah. I've had a couple. I mean, obviously, I still want you guys to always do it for me. Of course. I feel like you do it for maybe two people in your life. Yeah.

So you and Angus will be my two. I'm assuming Morgan and I will be your two. And Morgan, you and Babs are my three. Oh, very good. That's who I do it for. Very good. Sorry, Shaga. I won't do it.

Shaga won't do it. You can't do it for one and not for others. You've got to do it all on one goal. It's ridiculous, yeah. But I was going to say, Shaga wouldn't even notice if we had done it. I don't check Instagram. I could write him a love letter in the sky and he'd be like, what? It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. He wouldn't care. If it was above my house, I might see it. Head always in the phone. He's not looking up to the clouds. He did send us a nice photo yesterday. We play the game, what's Shy Guy doing?

That's right. Thinking about Shy Guy. We're thinking about Shy Guy. So Shy Guy has to tell us in that very moment what he's doing. Lounging on the outdoor setting, doing a bit of working. Yeah, yeah. Always working, baby. But you look like you're in a comfortable position.

I was very comfortable. Beautiful garden, manicured to the heart. I did the garden yesterday. Yeah, it looks good. Doesn't it feel good doing your garden and looking back at it and sitting in a month? And the smell of cut grass is so great. Oh, the best smell. The best smell.

Do you have some sort of chainsaw to do your hedges? Yes. Some sort of trimmer, hedge trimmer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've got all the tools. Do you do it shirt of chainsaw to do your hedges? Yes. Some sort of trimmer, hedge trimmer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've got all the tools. Do you do it shirtless with just the Bunnings hat on? No. Oh.

Not yesterday. Yeah. Okay. When my hedges grow, I'll need a hedge trimmer. But my grass is all starting to come together, which is fantastic. I love that. One of my plants, all of them are good. One's dead.

Oh, no. One is not coming back, so I need to take that out and find one that's old enough. It's the one you hit with the ball, isn't it? No, no, it's the one that Pam ruined. Oh, sorry, of course. She had a thing against this one particular was that the lily-pilly? No, the lollipop. The lollipop. Remember when you come over next week?

Pam did it. Yes, Pam did it. We all remember that. You should put like a tombstone valet the lollipop that Pam for some reason destroyed. It's just not coming back. It's not coming back. You know how I told you this time yesterday for Morgan's birthday

I was trying to buy her Beyonce's new album. That's right. But she's ill and sick at home, so you had to get some sort of ruse. I still made it. I just said, look, I'm going to get you something. I went. I went. Do you know how much this vinyl was?

No. $170. I thought vinyls were about $69. I went. Do you know how much this vinyl was? No. $170. I thought vinyls were about $69. They are. Because Beyonce did like a super dollar. I didn't get it. I was like, I'm not buying that. You know what I got instead?

They not like us. They not like us. You got Kendrick's new album instead. $70. They not like us. She likes Kendrick. She loves Kendrick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

$170 for Beyonce's Cowboy Country final. I was like, I'll pass. Was it the Grammy surcharge? It was like a double album, but it had like a booklet in it or something. Yeah, Babs, what's with that? Sometimes they are expensive like that. Mate, that must be one hell of a booklet. Problem was she just got like $200 shoes and she just got a necklace as well.

So I was like, we don't need to do this. I think you got her those things with the gear. I got her the shoes and then the necklace she'd got got a necklace as well. So I was like, we don't need to do this. As in you got her those things with the gear. I got her the shoes and then the necklace she'd got from a bunch of people. Sure, sure. But then this was just a little bonus that she's like, don't get me anything. Oh, okay. I'm not buying you anything. Well, I won't.

You've given me an out clause here. But hey, Kendrick's new album. Come on. So she gets to open that today. Yeah, it's sitting. I made a little card. I got her a mid-cat card saying six today. Just because that's why you're part.

I mean, way to keep the romance, the spark, the fun alive. Thank you. You've been together nearly two decades. You've got to do something. You've got to do something. You've got to do something. Why don't I tell you what I really did for her, though, coming up after seven. More.

For not a real gift-giving couple, you've gone above and beyond. I have this year. Oh, here we go, because it's her last birthday as a civilian. She's about to enter parenthood. And she's pregnant and sick and bloated and tired. And nothing else will ever be about just her. Exactly. Always with the kid involved.

Exactly. You've played that very well. Thank you so much. Did she make a big deal about your birthday last year? Because it was your last birthday before Daddy. No, I don't think she did much. Oh, no. Well, there you go.

You've missed your chance. That's it. Hey, you do have a big Friday show, though. It's going to be fantastic, team. We've got Alpha Bucks. Your chance of 10K went off yesterday. That's right. Lee, she is planning a wedding, she said. It's taken 10 years for my fella to propose, and now we can finally,

finally start planning a wedding. Good on her. Good on her. She was amazing. We've got Forgotten Friday bangers. We have Free Fuel Friday getting involved on the show at some stage. Oh, yeah. And that is, what else? We draw the call of fame. Oh, my God.

So there's a couple of chances today, actually, to have some fun. Yep. Walk away with fuel, with organic skincare, and, hey, with a laugh and a good feeling in your tummy. That's what we love. Well, you're going to get that next with No Dumb Thought Friday. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Bring it in, team. Bring it in. Come on in. Gather round. We're all dumb bums in our own way. Absolutely.

Sometimes little dumb thoughts sneak in. Yep. And we don't feel like we have a safe space with which to share them. Well, this is one. This is one. I think this might be the only one. I to share them. Well, this is one. This is one. We always appreciate. I think this might be the only one. I'd say so.

Nice and early, two on a Friday. We always appreciate your calls. Before the sun is up. Oh, yeah. 13 10 6. You can text in 04888106. If you have a dumb thought, something you've been sitting on for a while and going, geez, I just want to get that out.

I want to get that out. Yeah. Have you been having some dumb thoughts? I've been having a couple of dumb thoughts. Yeah, you want to share one? My dumb thoughts is with traffic lights. Oh, my God, because mine's with traffic. Holy crap.

Stop it. You go. The synergy. Well. Not that I'm knocking traffic lights. Like, traffic lights work fine. But how over the history of our humankind have traffic lights never really updated? Oh, my God.

You know? Yep. They look the same. They are the same. Surely we can have more flash things for traffic lights now. That's a great question. I was looking at it the other day going, red, orange, and green. Who decided that?

And then we just all ran with it. I was about to say, what came first? Was red known as the stop colour? But how could it have been? But then red's fast, you know? Oh, my God. Like Ferrari. Who decided, Chuck, I'm going to need some Googling.

Who decided red would mean stop and green would mean go? Because you've really pigeonholed those colours now. And also even just the inclusion of amber. Yeah, all the amber just chucked in there. Orange slash yellow. That could have been purple. I think it's just a New South Wales thing with the red flashes. I'm trying to think.

Where sometimes there's flashes where it's like a crossing or something like that. Or is it green flashing? One of them flashes sometimes at a crossing. It's an orange one. It's the orange. Is that like, proceed with caution? I actually don't know what that means. Yellow means caution. But if it's flashing yellow, does it mean like... Still caution.

Yeah, just beware of pedestrians. So you can still go. It's almost like it could just be nothing, but we want to really be in your face. Because that only happens in... That doesn't happen in Queensland, I know that. Okay. That only happens in New South Wales.

I can't remember it happening in Victoria. But I don't have a great memory. Go and look at a traffic light when you drive past one today and just go, you haven't been updated in a while. What are the developments we could see? Exactly. I don't even know. I'm not sure.

I'm really not sure. But I just feel like they could be done better. Do you know what the only development I reckon there has been, and it is a development I love, it's not 100% working all the time. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes you're driving in the middle of the night. Yes. And you're stopped at a red,

and it feels like the traffic light's never going to change. Oh, the worst. And you go, I don't want to run the red just in case there is a camera here. But no one's here. No one's coming. Do I have to get out of the car and hit the bloody pedestrian crossing? Yeah. Sometimes it isn't a crossing situation.

Yeah. Someone told me once there are pads under the road, like sensor pads. Like white pads. White pads. So it knows, oh, hang on, in the less traffic-heavy part of this intersection, we've got the traffic pad, we've got the sensor pad to know, oh, someone's here, switch the lights over. And if you go too fast over them, sometimes there's a catcher.

So I'm reversing back and forth trying to trigger the thing. Just trying to do it. So that's probably a modern development. But other than that, do we want to read that out. The first traffic signals were put into Detroit in the early 1920s. They used red, yellow, and green, and that's what they stuck with today. So they just decided some bloke in Detroit, probably a bloke. Go was also once white, it says here.

Instead of green. See, I think green's better than white. I agree. But then what do they do in the Grand Prix? Is it the white flag? Or is it the black and white chequered flag? It's black and white, isn't it? It's the chequered flag.

We could have teed that up. We could have. What? The black and white. The black and white light. Oh, yeah. Well, in Japan, it used to be blue instead of green. There you go.

But that was changed a very long time ago. Back to green. Back to green. Okay. Not back to green. Too green. Have a look at the traffic light you see next and just go, when did you get a glow up? When did you get a glow up? So mine. Oh, sorry. Back to green. Okay. Not back to green, too green. Have a look at the traffic light you see next and just go, when did you get a glow up? When did you get a glow up?

So my... Oh, sorry. No, no, no. I just gonged you. I know I spoke over your gong. I also apologise. My traffic-related dumb thought is I don't often have this scenario, but I think about people who are travelling at normal

times, and I use normal times like the standard work day. Let's say between 8.30 and 5.30, 8.30 a.m. maybe, 5.30 p.m. maybe, pretty stock standard, whatever, for maybe office hours or things like that where I would say the roads are the busiest. Other people are probably starting their job every day the same time as you. Do you ever think that's the same girl next to me in the car on the same route to work? Maybe she takes a left just one earlier than you take your left or whatever. The same time, same routine. But you're taking the same route at the same time, but you never will meet them. But they might be in the car in front of you, next to you, behind you every single day. Is that recognizing they're my family stickers?

Yeah. Do you ever go, I've seen those my family stickers before. Yeah, I've seen that car before. I've seen this chick actually every day. Yeah. Or this same you every day. Or if you see someone even at the gym and then they leave from the gym at the same time you do every day, you're like, what do they do?

What do they do? Like, we actually have so many opportunities to cross paths with strangers who could be our best friend. Could be anyone who could be our best friend. Could be anyone. Could be our soulmate. Could be someone who could change our lives. Perfect match of a kidney donor. But we'll never know.

First thing you should ask them as well. Absolutely. What's your blood type? You look good. What's your blood type? Sitting in traffic next to them. I always think about that because sometimes I see the same woman walking her dog in the early hours of the morning and I go, we're pretty much on the same routine,

but you're a pedestrian, I'm a driver. Who are you? What's your route? What's your life story? Could we be best mates? Slash, could I give you a kidney one day? It's always interesting, isn't it? Yes.

Yeah, I do know what you mean. Crossing paths with strangers. Yeah, and we never take them in. We just put the blinkers on. We just move forward. Yeah, go about our business. Shaga, before we move on, did you have any dumb thoughts for us today?

Yeah, I like insect dumb thoughts. You do? You've stayed in the insect realm a while. That sounded like incest for a second there. I just wanted to clarify you said insect. Got to hit that T, babe. That's right. If a fly or any bug gets on a plane and goes somewhere,

do they start a new life or do they know to stay on the plane to get back home? They don't speak the language, so I imagine they'd be wanting to come home. Or do they just live on the plane? Do they live on the plane? Do they survive the plane trip? How'd this fly get in? Yeah, totally. You're halfway over the Pacific.

Or even in your car and you drive like a couple of kilometres away from where that fly got in. Yeah. Is that the new fly territory? Does it just abandon its family? But that's good because a whole new pool of fly to tap. Oh, I see. I was going to say fly pussy.

Oh, you said it. Yeah, oops. When you say I was going to say it, that was something. I mean. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabugs on hit. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We'll come back to you if there's time. This time yesterday, it went off. No pressure today, Christy. Good morning. Hello.

Christy, there's some good juju around 6.30 Alphabarts with Lee taking it home yesterday. Did you happen to catch that? I didn't catch it yesterday. No. That's alright. Blinkers are on. Zoned in. That's right. She's a horse with the blinders. Yep.

It's just Christy and her quiz today. And the finish line. And the finish line. What's motivating you today, Christy? What do you want to spend $10,000 on? In May, my husband and I are doing an Ironman race, and traditionally I beat him on the bike, but he's got a new bike. Oh, so Christy needs a new bike. So I need to up the game.

You need to up the bike game. You think he's going to get you? I need to up the bike game. Ironman, that is tough yakka. Yeah, amazing. Nice work. It's good fun. It's good fun. Couples who, it's good fun.

It just takes up a lot of time. Yeah, but that's the thing. Who got into Iron Man, Iron Woman's first, Christy? Was it you or was it hubby? Me. You, so it was like, Christy's hubby. I haven't seen you because you're out training. I'm going to pick this up as well.

Come for a 50K run with me. So we can hang out a little bit. All right, Christy, we want to get you this brand new bike so you can reign supreme, at least with hubby. We're going to Vowel Town for you, babe. The letter you're going to work with is O. Okay. If I knew cycling better, maybe I could work in an O reference,

but I'm sorry. O for Oakley. I know they love their sunnies. There you go. All right, Christy. Sorry? O for Oakley. Sorry, don't listen to me. I'll just be quiet. Yeah. Okay. You ready? Yep. Yep. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter O, we need you to name an appliance. Oven. A TV show. OC. Oven. A TV show. OC.

A shape. Octagon. A brand. Oakley. An animal. Orangutan. A piece of clothing. Um.

Park. A city. Oregon. A music group. A condiment. We got ourselves five. Five of the best. Five of the best.

Close. Very close. It was good. You had some great answers in there. I saw nine, but I get it's close. I had pretty close. You would have had six, but you said OC. It's the OC.

Could have been Orange is the New Black or One Tree Hill. Outlander. A piece of clothing. Overalls. You could have said Orange Pants. I would have taken it. A music group. One Direction or Oasis.

But look, you don't go empty handed. $100 to spend at People Hair Care. That is all yours. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Christy. It's no new bike, but at least your hair will be looking longer. Yeah, my hair will be looking good.

For your next race. Good luck for the race. Thank you. Thank you. Jess and Ducko. You know that your partner loves you when? When. Dot, dot, dot.

When they do a certain thing that maybe you would deem, only my partner would be doing that. You know what I mean? I remember you telling something not too long ago. You're like, only my partner would get down low and investigate a certain area. She popped a pimple in my gooch. That's right. That's right, yeah.

And I had a similar thing happen to me just the other night where I went, I know Angus loves me when. We are preparing dinner. we've settled the baby. It's now just Angus and me time and I'm there chopping a lettuce. And, you know, he has had a go at me a few times because I might be doing a precarious thing like handling a sharp, sharp knife. And I go, oh, my God. And he thinks I've chopped my hand off.

I'm sorry. He's completely changed tone and voice there. He thinks I've chopped my hand off. Oh'm sorry. He's completely changed tone and voice there. He thinks I've chopped my hand off. Oh, my God. It's because when I think of something. Oh, my God. It's because in the moment. Should we get a master barulant?

Oh, my God. Because even if we're talking about something. Just call me Tula. When? When? I've told you with my long hair now. I want you to call me Giula. When? I've told you with my long hair now, I want you to call me Giuseppina. He refuses. Even if we're having a conversation, he's at the stove back to me doing something with the sauce.

I'm chopping the lettuce behind him. We're talking about something mundane, but something popped into my head. So everything just flattens out. I go, oh, my God. I forgot to tell you. It's like when I go oi but he thought I'd chop my thumb off and he turned around

he got a fright he got into action man mode he goes oh my god back and you both just go oh my god and then the kid wakes up and she's

going oh my god can you shut up we cheer Margarita Harper who looks like she's from New South Wales Australia goes oh my god the whole family

oh my god your parents pop in hey oh, oh, my God, hey. From Melbourne, my dad goes, hey, I heard, oh, my God. I come in, I come in with the dog, hey, what's it going on? Because we don't lock the doors. It's an open-door policy. Everyone can come in whenever they want. Oh, my God.

I forgot to tell you. And this is what I said to him. Aragog's trying to get into my God. I forgot to tell you. And this is what I said to him. Aragog's trying to get into my car. I'll allow that. That's not niche at all. Play it. Well done, Ducco. That's not niche at all.

That's the perfect reference. Oh, I meant play the tune. I told him to play. Oh, well. Aragog. They're up for anyone who doesn't know. Sorry. Sorry.

Okay. Come behind the scenes here. Jess goes, I've got really good audio. I don't want Daco to hear it because it'll give away what it is. And she's laughing listening to it. This is so good. You're going to love it. You'll love it because you are.

If there's one thing I can get away with, it's Harry Potter references. And this was the audio. Farewell, Aragog. It's where, what's his name? Hufflepuff? No. Aragog rolls in. Oh, my God.

What's that professor? What's that guy? What's the professor's name? Doesn't Hagrid have something to do with Aragog? Yeah, but what's the guy saying? Farewell, Aragog. I can't remember. The professor.

Oh, yeah. Crap, anyway, the old guy. Anyway. So I said, oh, my God. A big spider is what we're talking about. Aragog was trying to get in my car. My husband is also a Harry Potter fan. Aragog is a character in Harry Potter.

Good reference. He is a giant spider, and I don't just mean palm size. Yeah, he's big. I mean he is like this giant supernatural. Yeah. He'd be the size of a small truck. Yeah, he's big. I mean, he is like this giant supernatural. He'd be the size of a small truck. Yeah. And when I was pulling into work the other morning, as I went to get out of my car, a giant huntsman has walked up my windshield.

And my first thought was it's Aragog, this giant spider. When we say giant, what are we talking here? I'm talking, and I know huntsmans aren't deadly. I wouldn't mess with them. Still, yeah. But I'm talking probably palm size. They scurry so fast. This thing looked like it would eat a bird.

Yeah. I'm sure it was one of the huntsmen that are harmless, but God, they're just, I don't think I'm scared of spiders until you see one like that. Oh, yeah, and they scurry so fast. And they scurry. And obviously coming up glass, you go, there's no grip on that, bro. You're just traversing that. Yeah.

And he's scurried up and then gone in some sort of crevice in the Mitsubishi. And I'm like, I can't get back in this car now because I think he's inside the car. Yeah, he's in the aircon somewhere, yeah. So I, as I'm chopping, I forgot to tell Angus until this very moment, mid-chopping lettuce. Oh my God, Aragog was trying to get in my car. I can't go out there again till we sort it out. I need to find where he is to know he's gone. And he said,

it's the middle of the night, basically. We're meant to be winding down. We're about to sit on the couch. He goes, do you need me to go out there? Do you need me to hunt him down? Hunt Aragog. Hunt Aragog. And I went, yes, please, honey. So he abandoned the dinner prep, took a Tupperware container. How's he going to find him?

No idea, but he tried. He took his torch, put the head torch on. So open the car lid. Open the car, open the bonnet, put the head torch on to try and shine lights. Yeah, just looking around, banging some things. Banging some things. Came back in and when I got him, released him into the bushes. No, he didn't.

Well, even if he's now that I'm saying it out loud. Did you see it in the container? No. I saw him bring a container out, but the container brought back in was empty. Yeah, yeah. And then he put the container in the dishwasher. He told me. I don't reckon he found it.

He's opened that hood and just gone. He doesn't like it. Banged a few things around. Got him, buddy. Got him. He doesn't love spiders, but he loves me, shy guy. So willing to put his body on the line for this terrifying creature, Aragog. He battled Aragog for his lady.

So that's what I wanted to do. I know my partner loves me. He goes out in the middle of the night to hunt for big spiders. To hunt Aragog. Hunt Aragog so I can get in the car safely the next day. If Aragog comes back now though. If I see Aragog this, I haven't seen Aragog since. But if he comes back, you go, I thought you got, he goes on to different ones.

I'll say, oh my God, you lied. Oh my God. I'll come over. Oh my. Yeah, then maybe you can team up. Tag team hunting for Aragog. 13, 10, 60. I know my partner loves me wet.

Just call it, I guess. Just call it. Have some fun. I wanted people to contribute to finishing this question. I know my partner loves me wet. Yep. For me, the other night, Angus proved his love, devotion, his care for me when I exclaimed mid-chopping an iceberg

lettuce that Aragog had taken up residence in my Mitsubishi Outlander. Oh, yeah. Got in the car. Aragog is a giant spider from Harry Potter. Yeah. Good reference. And this big, big huntsman was climbing up my windshield that morning, and I was like, oh, what am I meant to do?

Yeah. And he went, oh, I've got you, honey. And he took a Tupperware out and a head torch and assured me he caught Aragog. Oh, well. Aragog. And released him into the bushes. Jargon and I are dubious on this. We think that he's just taken a Tupperware out, banged a few things around and gone,

Aragog's gone. In fact, I would do that. Someone has text through, you'll like this, Ducko. Having a pregnant wife at the moment. Unfortunately, we've got no name, but she said, I know my partner loves me when with my last baby I had severe morning sickness. Anyway, I got hemorrhoids and my amazing partner

would put the cream on for me. Oh, the hemorrhoid cream. God love him. If that's not love, I don't know what is. That is love. That is love. That is love. Shelby also said, my husband, I know my husband loves me. When I save my pimples for him to pop, it makes his day.

Yuck. People who love popping pimples are so bleh. Oh, you saved me a juicy one. Look at this one. Let me get into it. We've got a Rob on 131060. Good morning, Rob. Hey, guys.

How are we? Good. So good. Finish this sentence, babe. I know my partner loves me when? I've actually got a similar story to yours and Angus's, but roles reversed. Okay. Now, I'm sitting in the lounge room.

My wife turns around and says, Rob, get up. And I'm like, why? Just get up and get out of the room. And I'm like, okay. I'm severely arachnophobic. Oh, no. Did you have Aragog in your house? Oh, and she told me to get out of the room.

She gets up on my daughter's toys and goes to get her, and it jumps. And it fell down into my daughter's toys, so I wouldn't go back in the room. So she spent the next 20 minutes, half an hour pulling all the toys out, going through all the toys to try and find him. Ended up finding him in one of the little blocks and took the spider out for me. I love that. She got it for you. And I love that.

Didn't almost try to make him not aware. Just like, Rob, get up. Remove yourself. Mummy's got to take care of some business. She didn't react. She didn't go, oh, my God, Rob. She didn't give you the full gesture. The whole family wasn't. She's not Italian.

Ah, I see. Thank you, Rob. Thanks for backing me up there. Imagine Rob and Jess in a house together. Just going for it. Jess and Daco. Say the same, say the same. The aim of a game is to say the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jess and Ducko.

It's basically verbal snap. We don't know where each other is going to start. We're going to say a word at the same time. The idea is to take steps towards each other, meet in the middle and say the same. We haven't quite worked out the kinks. I think we keep trying to find a middle ground that may be sometimes easier to jump either side. Play along if you're listening along,

whether it be in the car at home or whatever. I always try and play with my partner or a friend or something like that. It's tougher than you think. It is. 0-4-8-8-8-1-0-6-9. We've had a few people saying, I said French onion when you said it as well. So that means you win, I guess. But the idea is that you and I, within five goes, can say the same.

I think what we should do is we should see Shaga and Babs have a version two. I want to see them try and do it because... You know what? We can sort of compete for compatibility glory. I like that. Because you would think on paper it'd be you and me. Yeah. But these two spend a lot of time...

So much. Off air. Toast. Coffees. You know? Yeah. Well, if you guys do it quick enough, two spend a lot of time. So much. Off air. Toast, coffees, you know. Yeah, well, if you guys do it quick enough, we'll fit in another game. Okay, let's go. So rude.

All right, Jase. Yeah, all right, boss. All right, dad. All right, dad. That actually sounds like Lisa Fargiani. Fast game's a good game. I'm like, Ma, stop rushing me. Our idea is to say the same. Yes.

Chaga, you're the guy with the timer. Oh, my bad. Three, two, one. Kayak. Kayak. Ooh, barn and kayak. What made you think of a barn? Lion dancing in the barn.

Oh, we were just in the barn. You're so right. A kayak. You've got kayaking on the mind. Yeah. This comes to the interesting. Kayak and barn. Kayak and barn.

See, now we're going to need to choose our own adventure. You're absolutely right because I don't even know. We're not even on land together or in the water together. Okay. Three, two, one. Beach. Water. Oh, babe, we're so close.

We're so close. Water and beach. Okay, water and beach. Water and beach. Here we go. Get ready, Shai. This could be a record. Here we go.

Three, two, one. Waves. Sand. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. I stayed on the beach and you stayed in the water. Oh, in the waves. Oh, sand.

Okay. Sand and waves. Sand and waves. Sand and waves. Sand. Sand is sand. And waves are waves. What now?

Three, two, one. Surfing. Oh, surfing is way better. Crap. Now we've got sun and surfing. We've got one to get it. Sun and surfing. Sun. Surfing. Ah, surfing is way better. Crap. We've got sun and surfing. We've got one to get it. Sun and surfing. Sun.

And surfing. And surfing. What about... Sun. Sun and surf. Surfing. Sun and surfing. Surfing.

Surfer? Sun and surfing. Okay. Three, two, one. Wind surfing. Dislocated shoulder. What? When I think surfing, I think the duck man dislocating his shoulder.

You're done. It was the ocean and the sand. It was the ocean and the sand that got us. All right, Babs, come in here. Babs is coming in. Let's see if you guys can do it. We've never played with you guys. I think about your shoulder more than you do.

I know, yeah, yeah. It was a traumatic time. Damn. All right, you guys, you know how the game works. First word, you guys just get to come up with anything. Ready? You've been a three, two, one. Yep.

You're a three, two, one. Three, two, one. Honey. Oh, they just tease each other. Oh, you message each other. You cheaters. You cheaters. I hate you both.

Get out of here. Jess and Ducko. Now, something came up for this show deep in our podcast. We always like to do an exclusive bit of content on the pod that lives on the listener app, of course. And Babs dropped a little memory of her primary school dance days. I can't remember how it came up. I think it was speaking about dancers and – because my dancers,

my primary school dancers, I grew up in Brisbane and Queensland, were very different to your guys. Absolutely. And everyone, I guess, experienced. You think everyone's doing it like this. Every school is doing it like this until you maybe get to adulthood and you go, remember how we used to do that? And someone looks at you funny.

And goes, what? What the hell were you guys doing? Like ours was actually grade nine. It was high school, but dancers were replaced. We'd go be a dark room, DJ playing. Everyone's wearing like fluoro stuff. Bit of blue light disco vibe. Exactly. But then it's a lot of tongue punching playing. Everyone's wearing like fluoro stuff. Bit of blue light disco vibe. Exactly.

But then it's a lot of tongue punching in the deep floor. A lot of kissing. You mentioned it's like, you know, conquest. It's like how many kisses can you get? How many kisses can I get? How much attention can I get? Everyone's tallying up totals. Yes, yes.

Never good if you're short. Never great. Oh, that's right. Your personality isn't shining through. I'm a personality guy, you know what I mean? I'm trying to have a chat with her, trying to impress them. When you've got a 45 second window. Yeah, Big Brothers is playing. To secure the, that's very school dance vibe, isn't shining through. I'm a personality guy, you know what I mean? I'm trying to have a chat with her, trying to impress them. When you've got a 45-second window. Yeah, and Big Brothers is playing.

To secure the, that's very school dance vibe, isn't it? Yeah, it was, yeah, yeah. I didn't even really have anything like that until I got to later high school year. Right. And it was formals. And you had to be invited. Or you had to invite someone to come along with you.

And I sort of wove the flag as an ambassador for my group. I'd lock one guy in and be like, now your four friends have to take my four friends. So everyone had to link up like that. Link up, yeah, yeah. And you get your hair and makeup and make your mom take you shopping. But your school dance-wise? Yeah, no, that was pretty much all that was on offer for us. So it was very, yeah, we hired limos and we made a full shebang out of it.

Babs came out of left field for something going on in primary school, which led us to wanting to ask, what are school dances looking like these days? Does anyone still look like this? Babs, what happened at your primary school? So it was a school dance once a year from when I was about, I reckon, 10 years old. And basically we did traditional like dances. I'm talking like waltzes, barn dances sort of thing. Full choreography.

Were you learning those steps throughout the school year? Yeah. So come the big night, everyone knew. Yeah, so we'd do kind of like a course over, I don't know, like a month. And every maybe once a week we would go as a group and practice our dances. Hilarious. With different partners. And then a couple of days before the actual dance, we'd have a dance card.

What's a dance card? So you'd get a dance card and it would go, a girl had to pick a boy for a certain dance and then a boy had to pick a girl. So for the line dance, Babs goes, you know who showed me he's really got some chops? Derek. Oh, Derek. So you would say, would you go to Derek and say, hey, Derek, I'm locking you in for the line dance portion.

And Derek's like, I want to dance with you, please. Pretty much. That was how it worked. Yeah. Wow. And it was kind of like a popularity thing. And then could you have your card filled out? So like Babs is booked out from 7 to 8.30.

Yeah, pretty much. That's what it was like. Sorry, was it just not to get all gender stereotypes, but did only ladies have the dance card or did everyone have a dance card? I can't remember. Because what happened if you were double booked? What if Babs has gone to Derek but then Derek's bloody pimped himself out to Hillary as well? I've booked in a double line dance.

I can't be in two places at once. I think they did have a dance card as well. I suppose they did too. And then could you do double dances like Jess said? Could you back-to-back book them? No, if you're booked out, you're booked out. So it was kind of like a race, really. You're kind of just hoping that the popular guy at school that you liked

would pick you for a dance. And was there a hierarchy of dancers? Because line dancing with Derek doesn't feel like it's too intimate. No. But I really want to secure Bevan for the waltz. Oh, Bev. Bev, he waltz as well. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, yeah, Derek, I'll throw your bone. I'll line dance with you. But Bev. Bev, come here. You and me when it gets slow. Oh, I see. And intimate.

Oh, is there a slower dance? There was, yeah. So there was actually longer dances that you would kind of go, okay, you know. Lock in someone. That one's, yeah. I'll lock in him for that one. Interesting. And then the one with the boys that you're like, ugh.

So this is a bit weird. It's odd. Yeah, it is odd. My primary school dances would be like, you'd stand in front of a girl and just dance with daylight in front of you and just move your arms around. But it was daylight. It was happening at 3.30. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were drinking solo and God, I was feeling the sugar. It was so odd. In the multi-purpose room. Okay, 13, 10, 60. Do you have school dancers like Babs or what do school dancers look like these days? We're not talking formals. We're talking dancers. Dancers.

What? Because this sounded like a whole other world to me. Yeah. It's very Bridgerton. It's very, yeah. It feels a bit old school. Fully Bridgerton. And it was like, who's holding the grey-led pencil?

Like, is there a communal grey-led so you could mark out your timings of which one you are doing? It does feel like you need to sharpen your pencils to do it. Yeah. Okay, and 131060, you're dancing like that. Are there still school dances like this? And are you line dancing? And are you line dancing? Is this triggering you?

You're like, okay, I know the move for this one. We've got three people up for grabs. Give us a call. We'll do it next. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We're asking, what does your school dance look like? That's right.

Randomly came up on the podcast the other day, you sharing that, you know, through high school, they were very much like, oh, I'm looking to smooch me crush. Yeah, that's what it is. There was a focus. Just kisses. For me, they were very formal. You had to be invited.

We didn't do casual situations. Yeah. There were limos and expense involved. Babs came out of left field, or so we thought, and said in primary school they would do a month run-up where they all learnt dances from ballroom style to barnyard line dancing. So come disco night, when the song played, they knew.

They knew what to do. They knew the steps. They knew the moves. But more than that, they had dance cards. That's the weirdest thing to me. Which I thought was something from Victorian England. Yeah, yeah. Bridgerton style, where you would mark in, all right, at 6.45,

when the foxtrot starts, I'm dancing with Bevan. Yep. Me and Bev are going for it. Me and Bev are going for it. I'm locking in. Babs, what were you good at? What was your dance that was your go-to? Nah.

She's not listening. Okay. Shy guy, Babs. You listening out there? Thanks, guys. What was Babs your go-to? No, she's not listening. Shy guy Babs, you listening out there? Thanks, guys. What was Babs' go-to dance? Oh, sorry. I like the progressive bar dance. Okay.

Oh, progressive, that's fine. That feels like you start with Bevan, but we end up with Jeremy. Oh, we go to Bec on 131060. Good morning, Bec. Good morning. Bec, what does your school dance look like? We were similar to Babs. We had a social and we spent our whole term for sport

learning these dances that we had to do. We had the waltz, the pride of Aaron, and the evening three-step that we had to learn. Oh. I love that. Put down the balls and the bats, kids. It's dance prep. Dance prep.

Yeah. That'd be fun in school. And. It's dance prep. Dance prep time. That'd be fun in school, though. And when you did dance prep, did you just do it with other girls in the build-up, or did you get to do it? No. No, we got given partners, and they were the same partners that we had on our social night that we had to dance with. And I'm tall, and my guy was really short. Oh, so I was going to say, was it a fluke, Bec?

So you couldn't try to run over to your crush and say, would you like to be my partner for training? And then the big day, it was whoever the teacher put you with. Yeah, that's right. And that's who we practiced with the whole term. Oh, that's tough. Yeah, I hope you get along at least. I hope you get someone good.

Didn't that height difference really get to you, Beck? Was it a tough one? Absolutely. He couldn't even reach my shoulders properly. Oh, my God. So where's he hanging onto? Your elbows? Yeah, hanging around, sort of around

the back, I guess, and that was it. But yeah, like, we learnt these dances, and have I ever used them since? No. No, absolutely not. The Pride of Erin, you're telling me the Pride of Erin doesn't come up every weekend when you go clubbing, Bec? No, definitely not. And the stupid thing is, I can still remember these dances. They take up

real estate in your brain, don't they? They'd be in your head forever. Oh. There you go, you're not alone, don't they? They'd be in your head forever. There you go. You're not alone, Babs. Now I want Babs to teach us the Pride of Erin, don't they? Yeah, oh yeah. Can you teach us the Pride of Erin, Babs? Yeah, we could do like a little dance social. Oh, just the four of us?

The next Jess and Duckle event, we're doing the Pride of Erin. Long lunch. Oh yeah, here we come. Jess and Duckle. You know it's my wife's birthday today. That's right. I've sent her a text. Yes, thank you.

Have you, Shari, sent her a text? I haven't got a number, but I have sent her a message on Instagram. Can you imagine Sharko and Morgan texting? It would be. DM me on Morgan. It'd be dry. It's not forced at all. It'd be dry.

You know what you should do? Can you please go onto Ducco's Instagram, take a screenshot of one of his pics, just zoom in on Morgan and post it to your story. Do that. Happy birthday to this queen. Or just send that to her. So anyway, it's her birthday, whatever. It's very exciting.

But there's... I love her. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She knows. Well, you know my partner name. I call her as Bork. That's right.

The Bork. Do you want to quickly go into the origins? There was a South African guy who was a golfer. He went viral for sending his wife a voice note when he was on a boys golf trip saying like, I miss you so much. And he was meant to call her Spring Bok. He's Bok Bok. But because of the accent, I miss you my book book, my book.

And it went viral a couple years ago as a joke I called Morgan the book book. And it's just turned into Bork. Bork. Now she's the Bork. The Bork feels. I have a tattoo representing it on my body. The Bork feels strong. Yep.

The Bork feels formidable. Yeah. All things Morgan is. The Fist of Fury. So anyway, now we call her Bork. It's a very deep cut in joke. Yeah. All things Morgan is. The fist of fury. So anyway, now we call it bork. It's a very deep cut in joke. Some of the friends know it. You know it.

You always call it to it. Some people have pookie. Some people have sweetheart. Bay. Some people have bub, which I hate. You've got bork. Bork. So there's a local pub near us and they do birthday shout outs.

Morgan, it's on a billboard outside their pub. It's pretty high. Main road. Lots of traffic. Not even birthday. I think I've seen happy anniversary. Yeah, they do any shout out. Any shout outs. Morgan, it's on a billboard outside their pub. It's pretty high. Main road, lots of traffic. Not even birthday. I think I've seen happy anniversary. Yeah, they do any shout out. You've got to call them and get onto it. Morgan tried for my birthday last year and just didn't get onto them and then emailed them. They didn't reply or whatever. And she told me about it and I was like, geez, that's a brilliant idea. That's so fun. We love a public display of affection. Yeah. So I went a step further and got onto them. Went in,

chatted to them, got a hold of them. And I said, hey, I need to get you to wish my wife happy birthday. Like, yeah, absolutely. What's her name? I was like, Bork. It's like when you'd go to the coffee shop and they say, what's your name for the order? And maybe you just have a bit of fun. You say Esmeralda.

Yeah. No, this is Bork. This is actually what I want on the board. And I didn't like, I didn't say it was a joke. I was like, just Bork, B-O-R-K. Hey man, 2025. You can't say it. I've heard weirder names on birth certificates. And I didn't say it was a joke. I was like, just Bork, B-O-R-K. Hey, man, 2025. You can't say it. I've heard weirder names on birth certificates.

100%. But anyway, her birthday's today. So I thought it'd be up today. Last night, we were driving from the grocery store back home, and I look up, and there it is. Happy birthday. Oh, they've gone early. Yeah, happy birthday, Bork.

Plus, there was like three other names on there. Obviously, they shared a few days. And I go, look, look. And Morgan's like, Bork? Who's Bork? Whose birthday's Bork? Does someone else have the name Bork? I was like, it's look. And Morgan's like, Bork? Who's Bork? Whose birthday is Bork? Does someone else have the name Bork? I was like, it's you.

It's you. I was laughing my head off. And she goes, did you do that? We busted a U-turn, went back around the block, came back just to see it. Did she love it? Oh, she lost it. She was laughing so much.

She was also annoyed that I got it and she didn't. She was pretty annoyed about that. It's like you were just able to execute her idea. Exactly. It's like, aha, now I get the credit now. Yeah, yeah. I took a photo of it, so I'm answering the story, but I'm going to get one of her today standing in front of me

with like a thumbs up. And I need a cone party hat. Yes, please. Because she's going to be so embarrassed. That's fair. So her name's up in lights. Happy birthday, Bork. The Bork's birthday is up in lights.

What a day. What a day. That's the way you show someone you love. Yeah. a day. That's the way you show someone you love. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10k Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to

answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice and if you're untrue, the questions just say pass. Of course, we come back to you if there's time. It's everyone's favourite cash game. And today the player is Kira. Good morning, Kira.

Good morning. How are you? Kira, we're fantastic for a Friday. We gave away $10,000 yesterday and we would love to do it again. Oh, yeah. The question is, are you ready? I am ready. I've done my breathing exercises so I can calm down.

Okay. Of course, she's clenched and I'm clenched. Nice work. Because you know, Kira, it went off yesterday calm down. Okay. Well, she's clenched and I'm clenched. Nice work. Because you know, Kira, it went off yesterday at 6.30. Did you hear that? I didn't hear it, but I heard you celebrating. Yes. Well, worth celebrating.

Oh, absolutely. What would you like to spend $10,000 on? I'd like to build my kittens a catio. What's a catio? Is it a patio for a cat? Yeah. Yes, an outdoor area for a cat, yeah. Hilarious. What's on a catio? Part it a patio for a cat? Yeah. Yes, an outdoor area for a cat, yeah. Hilarious.

What's on a catio? Pardon my ignorance, Kira. Catios set you back $10,000. Could. It could. In this client? Yeah, that's it. Hey, what's your cat's name?

Oh, I've got two. I've got a ragdoll named Karma and a tabby named Loki. Loki and Karma. Okay, I like Loki. Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Chameleon. All right, we're going to build it for Karma and a tabby named Loki. Loki and Karma. Okay, I like Loki. Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Karma, Chameleon. All right, we're going to build it for Karma and Loki. Karma is a cat purring in my lap because it loves me. Taylor Swift.

Oh, is that a lyric from the song? In Karma, and you've named it Karma. My goodness, that is a deep cut Taylor Swift reference. I wish I was as big of a fan. You're a Swifty. Did you see Swifty when she was here last year? I didn't, no. Okay, so I'm almost a Swifty.

No, I mean, it was hard to get tickets. It was hard, yeah. I did watch her live on Instagram, so that counts. Yeah, sure, why not? With Karma, with Karma the cat. It's just patting her. Oh, yeah, he was there. He was there.

Let's do it for the cats. Yeah, that's it. All right. Well, the letter you're going to work with today, Kira, is one off the letter K. It's J. Oh. I wish one of your cats had a J name.

I'm sorry. Yeah. Jellybean or something. Yeah. You ready to go with the letter J? Definitely. J. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter J, we need you to name a lolly. Jolly Roger. An animal. Joey. A band. Pass. A body part. Jaw.

A job. Jackhammer operator. A horror film. Jaws. A car brand. Jackaroo. An adjective. Jumping. A female film. Jaws. A car brand. Jackaroo. An adjective. Jumping.

A female celebrity. Car. A type of tree. Jacaranda. A band. Yes. That was a bit on in that. There was a few question marks I had down.

Oh, yeah, don't worry, me too. You got about six or seven. A band could have been Jonas Brothers. A job, I mean, Jack Hammer, I suppose we can allow it. Maybe we can look up on Seek. We'd have to look it up. A journalist or a judge would have been another one there. A car brand.

What did you say for car brand? Oh, I said Jackaroo, but that's a Holden. Yeah, okay. She knows. Kira knows what's up. You also, adjective, I think you said jumping. We were looking for juicy or jealous. Female celebrity, Jennifer Anderson.

So, look, it looked like you got seven, but I think you got kind of like five. I was so confident, too. You were? You said it with such confidence. The vibes were high. The vibes were certainly high, Kira. You don't go away with your hand, Kira. I don't want to suspend it. People, hair care, that is all yours. Oh, cool. The vibes were certainly high, Kira. You don't go away with your hand of Kira. I don't want to suspend it. People, hair care, that is all yours.

Oh, cool. Thank you. Thank you, Kira. Thanks for getting involved in the show. No worries. Thank you for a great morning. Oh, always a pleasure. What a light young lady.

Kira's so lovely. Sounds like confidence. Here is the vibe. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy that hair care, doll. Jess and Ducco. My daughter is 16 months. She's 15.

Anyway, she's over one, and it is a fun age, Ducko. We're walking. We're babbling. We're curious. We're inquisitive. We're excitable. The little pump down the corridor as she's running around, it's a really great age.

She is running. She's on foot. Yeah, yeah. With this autonomy has presented a few issues for the family, like picking up items around the house and just plonking them anywhere. She doesn't know the difference between her toys and mummy and daddy's equipment or appliances. I was conscious of using that.

I told you about that incident the other day. She gets anything. And the thing is, kids will just think anything is theirs. The whole house is theirs. 100%. The world is their playground. And from the living room to the kitchen to the bedrooms, whatever, if I can pick it up, I'm going to investigate it, try and play with it,

put it down wherever I see fit. For a couple of days now, Angus and I have not been able to watch TV. The TV remote has gone walkabout. Oh, that's the worst thing to go. Now, we are trying to limit screen time in the house. We're trying to do that thing. Try not to have the phones, the iPads, the TV around Lucia. But still, once she goes to bed, it is nice to sit there.

Have the TV on. And just have the TV on, you know, volume three. You have to read subtitles. Subtitles, yeah. But it is nice to have that option. Obviously, yeah. But for the past couple of days, TV know, volume three, you have to read subtitles. Subtitles, yeah. But it is nice to have that option. Obviously, yeah. But for the past couple of days, TV remote walkabouts. Just gone.

Couldn't find it. Angus has taken all the couch cushions off. Obviously, first port-a-call has slipped in naturally. It's not there. All right. Now we start going, if I'm 15, 16 months old, where have I put the remote? Where do I put this? So we go through toy chests.

Yeah. We go through, we got a car seat the other day. The big box is still there. Is it in there? Is it in the little fort she created? Her cupboard or where? Is it in the dog's area? Oh yeah, the dog bowl. Because she loves the dog bed. She loves the dog bowl. Is it around there? In the backyard. She wanders out there. Yep. Is it in the garage? Because sometimes if Angus leaves the garage, she wanders in. We did find something the other day in the washing baskets. We're like, all right, now we go check the washing baskets. It's not in there. And we went, all right, we don't watch TV in this house anymore.

And that's all. Oh, that's so annoying because TV remotes, and then you've got to go get a new one. I've got one of those universe. How do you even get a new TV remote that's compatible with your TV? They're called like one remote. It's like a universal remote. But they're really not user-friendly. Like they're super annoying.

The button's a place wrong. This might be a dumb question. If you and I have the same model of TV, we both go to Harvey Norman, we both get the LG 65-inch. Yeah. Can the TV remote work for us? Could your remote come over to my house and turn it on? I think it might be able to because this universal remote does.

Because that would be handy. Could you come over and just put TV on? I actually could because I have the same TV as you guys. Yeah, oh, okay. But you can go and get a universal remote. How annoying, right? It's just annoying. And on both our to-do lists, that is so low on the agenda.

It's just so annoying. Yeah. Till Angus the other day, the other evening, goes, nappy bin's getting a bit full. Best take this out. Lucky he did this. He pulled it out, tied it up, and then plonked it on the floor, thinking I'll just quickly do some other things before I go outside.

Plonks it on the floor, and hears kind of a plasticky, metallic-y clunk. Nothing in the nappies should sound plasticky, metallic-y. Unless she's just pooing out whole things now, like just a full carrot or whatever that is. She does put a lot in her mouth that should have gone in there. He goes, what was that sound? Had to go through the nappy?

She put the frickin' remote in the little nappy bin hole. Because obviously, loves a lid, loves a drawer, loves a door. So she's seeing us open and close. She's open. We didn't see her do it. It must have been there for like 48 hours, man. You should have seen how Angus had to sterilize this thing before. What do you do?

Because you can't break the buttons. I don't think he's going to touch it. No, you're like, what are you doing? You can't dunk it in dead oil. He's getting gloves on, wipes. It's not like it touched anything, but just being immersed in that disgustingness. That's so funny. That's where she put it.

For like 48, 72 hours. So now I've got to add toys, toy areas, toy boxes, her drawers, the dog stuff, washing baskets, and nappy bin for when stuff, God forbid she gets hold of my keys. Oh, and they go in there? Oh, they go in there. That'd be the worst. I'd love to have found that too. Imagine if you just threw that out.

No TV remote. Well, that's the thing. If he didn't plonk it down, he probably just would have chucked it in the bin. See you later. See you later. Are you sure? Are you sure Angus didn't just put it in there one night and blame it on the baby? It could happen. Maybe.

You never know. You're watching too much TV, you couch potato. Brayden's called in on 131060. Brayden, where'd your kid put the thing? Oh, it's my car keys. Good morning, guys. Good morning, car keys. That's annoying to lose, Brayden.

Well, it is, especially when I still haven't found them. Oh, no. Okay. Have you checked the nappy bin, Brayden? Have you got a little one still in nappies? I've had to get a lift to work. Oh, no. And you like to put things in the mop bucket too,

and I checked there and they're not there either. Yeah, see, this also will help as well. So mop bucket is a good one to add to your list. Anything shiny or buckety or things. Of places to check in the future. How long has it been, how long have the keys been missing for, Brayden? Oh, it's about three weeks now. Oh, I can't tell.

We need a new car. We're having to fork out. I think they're gone. Yeah, yeah, we'll tell you what. Let's give you $100 to spend on free fuel when you get your keys. Thanks, guys. Enjoy it. Oh, thanks, Brayden you $100 to spend on free fuel when you get your keys. Thanks, guys. Enjoy it. Oh, thanks, bro.

Give it to the person constantly driving you to work. Yeah. 131060, where'd you kid put the thing? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Where'd you kid put the thing? That's right. My husband and I have been tearing the house apart looking for the TV remote.

My daughter is at that age of anything is her plaything. Yep. And that means it can end up anywhere. Because she's only a year and like six months or whatever. Yeah. And putting things, like she's put the TV remote in the poo. In the nappy bin. Nappy bin.

Creative. And the only reason, very creative. Yeah. I love the idea. It's like this lid's fun. That can go in there. Shut the lid. Crazy.

You know, I don't have eyeballs on her 24-7. It probably did happen on my watch, or lack thereof. Yeah. You were cooking pasta. Probably. Probably for her. Obviously. But yeah, so for about 72 hours, just under like three days or whatever,

Angus and I have been watching stuff on his laptop or whatever. That's so annoying. And the only reason he found it, thank God, is because when he undid the nappy, he like pulled out the bag, he dropped it on the floor and heard that sort of squink, that hit, and thought, nappies are soft. They do not make noise when they hit

the ground. And he had to rifle through it, pull out our... He's like, at least one of Jess's nappies. Why is it so loud? Why is it so dense? My digestion is fast. It's just a full thing of spag bol. Why would that be metallic-y? I don't know.

You're eating the TV remote again. Mel. I do eat fast. I sometimes consume the spoon with it. Sorry, Mel. Good morning. Hi, Mel. Where did your kid put the thing, Mel?

My 16-month-old put our TV remote in the toilet. And then on the same day, went to my parents' house and put their remote in the toilet. Oh, Casey, that's something to be aware of. If nappy bin is the fun lid and then something you can just drop in, toilet might be next. Oh, Christ, Mel. I've got a six-year-old too, so I don't know if it was flushed. If it wasn't flushed, I'd... Is it remote ruined now?

Like there's no way it works? Yeah, absolutely. And so we have the same TV as well. And you can use the same remote, you know, for the same TV. But I couldn't even give my parents our TV remote because... It's gone. It's all down the toilet. Oh, that's funny, Mel.

Enjoy your free fuel from us for Free Fuel Friday. That's all yours. Thank're all down the toilet. That's funny, Mel. Enjoy your free fuel from us for Free Fuel Friday. That's all yours. Thank you. Let's go to Natalie. Hi, Nat. Yeah. Natty! Where'd your kid put the fang? We were waiting on the delivery for soil

and we left the money on the table and we couldn't find the money anywhere. So the delivery come and here we are looking frantically for this money. I think he was about two at the time. He'd put it in the tower, like your computer tower, inside the computer tower. Because we're like, where's the money? Where's the money? And he pointed and it was inside the computer tower.

Oh, pardon my tech ignorance. What's a computer tower? Like, you know, your normal computer that's on your desktop. Oh. Yeah, so in that box. Like the modem in the box in the disk slot. Like he put the money in the CD-ROM slot. My goodness.

Oh, wow. Wow. How did you ever find that? Oh, the next time you went to use the computer or something? No, no, he pointed to it and told us where it was. Yeah, because you'd never be opening that. When you're watching a DVD, you're putting a CD in it. Totally, totally.

My husband quickly pulled it out and pulled it apart, and yeah. Yes. There you go. Oh, that's funny. Well, you get your free fuel. Yep, enjoy the free fuel now. Brianna on 131060, where'd you kid put the thing? Is that me? That fuel now. Brianna on 131060, where'd you kid put the thing? Is that me?

That's you, Brianna. This was about six years ago. It was my daughter's birthday party, and we had a jumping castle. And after the party, like, I had to go out, and I was like, where are my car keys? I could not find them anywhere. I had to pay for new car keys and everything. And then about two weeks later, the jumping castle place called me.

We had somehow gotten them in like, you know, the pump thing that keeps the jumping castle Yeah. Like the air, yeah. That's in there. That is hilarious. How the hell did he shove it in there? It's usually around the back of the jumping castle. Absolutely.

And it's obviously blowing out the air to fill the castle. Oh, how annoying for you. He's gone on a little side quest mid-party and gone around to the jumping castle and put it in. This is not the party theme I wanted, Mark. I'm going to get you back or hide your car keys. Free for you, Brianna. We'll wrap it up here with Holly. Good morning, Holly.

Good morning, guys. How are you? Excellent. Holly, where'd your kid put the thing? Well, my daughter had like a charm, like a little star charm. It was either necklace or bracelet. Anyway, we lost it. We didn't know where it went.

And then about two years after that, she went in for surgery to have her teeth out. The anesthetist come out with a jar and said, have you been missing a charm? And I'm like, oh, really? And it was, and it was fully intact. Wait, where was it? It was up her nose. They had to pull it out to anaesthetise her, and it was in full form.

How gross. Wow. For two years? Yeah, and they said it was blocking her airways. I bet it was. And I kept on going to the doctor saying, my daughter's got a really stinky breath. And they said, no, no, it's just because she's not brushing her teeth.

And I'm like, no, she's brushing her teeth. Yes. But it was this thing that was, like, sort of in an airway. Yes. Yeah, blocking, making it all manky. Where'd they put the thing? Up the bloody nose. Up the nose.

Well, that's next week. And then when I asked her how long ago she'd put that in there, she said years. Wow. That lives in me. Yeah. And she didn't know how to do the Bushman's Blow. I can keep a secret.

And did you use it after that, Holly? When you got it back? No. Oh, you never used it? No, we left it in the jar because it stunk. Oh, yeah. It's been part of her body for two years. Holly, free fuel coming your way, babe.

Oh, thanks, Jess. You're very welcome. I mean, I also contributed to the fuel. Yeah, yeah, it was duckers. Oh, sorry, duckers. Half from the duck, man. You know what? A third from the duck, man.

A third from me and a third from Shy Guy and Babs. Yeah, yeah, we all chipped in. They're a duo. Yeah, we all chipped in. Matilda, she's now 15. She's in the car. Oh, hi, Matilda. Oh, Matilda. Oh, you're 15 now. What's the last thing you stuck up your nose? Yeah, we all chipped in. Matilda's, she's now 15. She's in the car. Oh, hi, Matilda. Oh, Matilda.

Oh, you're 15 now. What's the last thing you stuck up your nose? Yeah, Matilda. No more charms, I hope. No more charms. Last one. Last one. Good girl.

She's learned. She's like, oh, I meant toss. Jess and Ducco. Right now, though, we need to take a look back at the week that was with Shago's Diary. Well, what a week it's been with Jess and Ducko. You're always guaranteed to learn something new on this show. We came across a list of banned baby names, and there was one that stood out over the rest. Shooter, Calibur.

I don't hate Calibur. I don't hate Calibur either. Yeah, Calibur's kind of artsy. In recent years, we've moved away from guns and gone to dagger, cutter, blade, and even arson. Dagger's to the point. I don't mind dagger. You don't mind dagger? Dags will call her for sure.

Dagsy. Dagsy. Dagsy. Isn't a dag what they call the poop that sticks to a sheep's wool? I made that up. What? A dag. We need to Google that.

I might have made that up. A dag. What is it called that. I might have made that up. A dag. What is it called? That's so funny if it is. Clumps of dried dung stick to the wool of a sheep. Mate, I grew up on a farm. Oh, it's dangleberries. It's like how we get dangleberries.

Exactly. Oh, theirs would be way worse, actually, if you think about it. And they're called dags. Yeah, they're white. They've got nothing on them. Just call me Old MacDonald because I know my farm. See, you nailed it. And you nailed it and then you just went too much.

Old MacDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O. And on his farm he had some... Dangleberries. E-I-E-I-O. I'm not going to lie. I was a little bit tired on Monday morning. And Jess and Ducko were quick to unpack why.

Someone's coming off a Bucks party. Oh, yeah. Very quiet this morning. Yeah, new haircut. New haircut. A lot of sins. How many titties did you see over the weekend? How many boogies did you see?

Come on. None. It wasn't that kind of Bucks. Oh, no nipples for Shy Guy. What did you do? What did you do? I went paintballing on Saturday. That was fun.

Did you have a few apple ciders? Yeah, I had some cocktails and stuff. Stop it. Hello. Stop it. I got getting around with a porn star martini. You and two porn stars is anyone's. This round on me, fella.

All right, boys. Let's put it all on black. All right, we've lost it. We've lost everything. All right, show me your tits. Let's go. Ducco had a very interesting run-in with a naked man on the beach while walking Pam. You could just see huge butt crack.

And, like, I'm talking you could see through the crack. I could see scrote. Sorry, was he just walking? No, he was lying down, face down, but with his legs sort of cocked on that, like, kind of, like, knee-up position. So he's sunning. So he's sunning.

And I could see crack. I could see beneath. I've heard of the benefits of gentlemen doing that. Was he really getting a... He was passed out, too. He was really out. My first reaction, I wanted to get a photo to send to you guys, and I was like, well, I can't be taking a photo of a naked dude on the beach

because that's problematic. And anyway, I looked on, and Pam then sees this guy. Uh-oh. And she's off lead, and she's like... He was asleep. He then wakes up, gets the front of his life, and then turns around and sees Pam there. The thing is, he was asleep. He then wakes up, gets the fright of his life and then turns around and sees Pam there. The thing is, he was very nonchalant.

She's barking at this naked guy. He looks at her, sees me. I'm like, eh, come here, sweetie. No. And then he just rolls back around eventually, goes back to sleep. I don't think I've seen a crack this long. Like, this thing must have been 45 centimetres long. Every crack is beautiful.

Well, this wasn't beautiful. More often than not, we work out that producer Babs is well known amongst the Rice Cooker community. We never expected she'd be able to get Jess's husband, Angus, out of a jam just by association. Last night, about halfway through boiling, you know, the pasta's going, the sauce is simmering, it's all happening, the baby's being hectic, He gets a frantic phone call.

Now, you know, we're part owners of a wedding venue. Unfortunately, there's been an administrative error. People are waiting to check out the venue. Wasn't in anyone's calendars. Crap! Oh, my God. You know, this is prospective bride and groom. We're going to book the venue.

Sorry, rigatonies. Now, your problem, Jess. I've got to go. He rolls in, and Angus can turn on the charm when he needs to. Now, he throws me sort of in the mix. I think he just mentioned me and they knew me and they knew the show. But what really simmered things down was, oh, my cousin works on your show. And there's only one person who's related to everyone we know.

Exactly. Babs. It's Babs. I won't say their name. They might be embarrassed. Angus came over and went, geez, you got me out of a jam. Actually, you didn't. Babs did.

I went, oh, sweet Babs. Babs, you did. A deep fake video of Donald Trump sucking Elon Musk's toes went viral and it got us thinking, who is it on the show that likes to suck toes? And of all the things you didn't want to be associated with, you'll happily take... I'm happy to have such a public-facing celebrity

bringing this taboo subject into the light. Normalising toe sucking. Normalised toe sucking. We all have our kinks. Hey, we are a show. That will never yuck anyone's yum. No. But toe sucking is not for everyone.

No, it's not. And we've all made it clear in this team, no one does it bar one. No one's tried it. Yeah. No one's tried it. I have begged you. Begged you. You gagged me.

You have a Vegemite on toast, yet you will suck a toe. Yeah, because my husband's toes aren't fermented vegetables that smell to high heavens. They've just walked around all day. He's had a race. But I got really excited when I saw this video. I went, someone's leaked Trump's sex tape and he's into toe sucking. See you next week, Rice Cookers. Jess and Ducko. Billie Eilish in the country right now performing.

She was just doing sold-out shows in Sydney. Did you see? Obviously, we've talked about people lining up, putting tents up at like 6am to try and get front row on the mosh. I know. And then her not coming out till 9.30pm. That is a massive. On a school night too.

Massive wait. Yes. So apparently now punters, or Billie Eilish, I should say, are putting out, if they don't want to sit there and wait with the chairs and the picnic rugs, they're putting it on an air tasker offering to pay $200 for people to wait in line for, how's this, 10 to 12 hours. Oh my God. So I'll pay you to go sit in your own camping chair.

Maybe I'll provide the camping chair. In my spot. And then at 9pm, I'll come and tag team you out. But then people on the air tasker are saying $ 200 is not enough to sit there for 12 hours. No, that's not enough per hour. Some are offering $65. I'm like, well, it's because they're kids. Exactly.

They don't have money to throw around. They've broken the piggy bank and that's what's in there. That would be a lot of money to them. Absolutely. Heaps of money. But to sit there, the boredom. Oh, what would you do? I understand you're just sitting on your bum for the whole day.

Still. That's, I could do something better with that time. Oh, what would you do? I understand you're just sitting on your bum for the whole day. Still. I could do something better with that time. Hey, it's time for this. We always have unbelievable prizes to give away, whether they are a co-fod daily or just one across the week. It's our little way of thanking you for getting involved in the show, taking time out of your morning to contribute. We can't do what we do.

We can't have as much fun without you doing that. No, and this week's a doozy. $500 spent online at Misa Organic Skincare, Kraft and Radiant Healthy Skin. Visit misasecrets.com.au for 15% off. Phenomenal contributions. Always good. Always good.

But one person stood out to us yesterday. We haven't stopped thinking about them all night. Well into today. We asked, what's the worst way you met your partner? Do you not have a particularly cute meet cute story? Yeah. After that couple in the UK, they're celebrating 39 years married. They've gone viral. In the toilet

roll aisle where they worked in like their Tesco. That's right. And Sharon has now got a tattoo covering like the length of her leg. Yeah. Of a toilet roll. Golden toilet roll. Yeah. Hideous. To each their own. Yep. So we wanted to know, what's your not particularly cute meet cute story?

RJ gave us this. We met on the slaughter floor of an abattoir. Okay, you're both employees chopping up what, cows? What were you? I was working in the awful room at the time and he was the knocker, so he was the one that used to shoot the cows. Oh, jeez.

And I met him during a breakdown when people were just wandering around and chatting. Hey, cow! Is that bad timing? Do you remember? I just got it. Do you remember his pick-up line, Arjo? Do you remember the first thing you said to one another?

I can only assume covered in... I was married at the time. Oh, I can't admit it. He was just another employee. Loving the abattoir floor. And Arjo, have we ever considered matching tattoos to commemorate where we met? Like a cow getting its head cut off. No.

No, I don't have any tattoos. The husband would have the cow and Arjo would have the big cleaver. Oh, you get the cleaver and then he has the cow. That could work, Arjo. We were known as the couple not to mess with because he shot them and I was cutting them up. Not one for the vegans, that one. No, sir. Not one for the vegans, that one. No, sir. Not at all. You can see why we haven't

stopped thinking about it. Yeah. You can see why. So, RJ. You win, RJ. Don't mess with RJ and her partner. Do not mess with RJ and her partner. Yeah. I learned a lot in that. I did learn a lot in that. Didn't you? About RJ, about abattoirs, about the cow floor.

Yep. Yep. The slaughter floor of an abattoir. He shot him, I cut him. Okay. Yep. Love can blossom in the strangest of places. He's the type of person to be able to do that job.

It's like those, you know, freaky creatures that thrive at the bottom of the ocean. You know, there's a place for everyone. I don't imagine where Shy Guy lives. That's where his soulmate is. You'd be down there, Shy Guy. No. Yeah, come on. With those anglerfish and the meg and stuff.

Yeah, rare sightings. They're all just mulling around, doing nothing. Just waiting for the guy. Yeah, yeah. If that's what you need, then sure. We should get him a scuba suit. He's got a big weekend this weekend. Hey, what's he doing?

He's going for a fly and he's made small plane. He's a pilot. Is this guy registered? Yeah, yeah. Or is he doing lessons or something? No. You're good? It's all legit.

Safe? Yeah, yeah. Do you go to the airport for this? Where are you? Yeah, I can't remember what airport. It's not a big one. It's just a little one. What?

Because you only see little crashes with small planes. So just be safe. Bro. Thanks. There's a lot of small planes. So just be safe. Bro. Thanks. There's a lot of small plane crashes. That's exciting. Yeah. Is he going to do loop-de-loops?

I don't know. No, I think we're just going to go down the coastline. It's not like a Red Bull Joy Flight, you know, trying to get G-Force. No, I think we're just going to go from, like, top down to, I don't know, Cronulla, maybe? Do you have, um, are you just sitting behind him as, like, a two-person? It's a four, I think. I'm free. There's another friend going.

Jess is free. I'm not free. I'm actually quite busy, but it's Morgan's birthday. What about a little joyride for Morgie Morg's birthday? Can I send my wife along? Send Morg along? Sure. Morgan, do you want to go flying with Shardock?

Shardock, one of his mates? Yeah. Well. I think she's busy that day. I think she's busy. Well, that's fun. Well, if we don't see you on Monday, we know the plane. Yeah, you'll see me on the news.

Stop it. Stop putting this in. I haven't told my mum yet this either. She's going to have the same reaction. Oh, no. This is guys listening. She probably won't let me. But anyway.

You're going to be all right. Well, enjoy that. Good luck with it. Have you had to sign a waiver? That's when you know it's risky. No. I think we've hired the plane. Okay.

I think. He doesn't own the plane. No, you hired them. Oh, jeez. Hopefully it's think. He doesn't own the plane. No, you hired them. Oh, jeez, hopefully it's good. So he just needs a license, like a jet ski. Yeah. Just get your jet ski for the weekend. Just hit it like, landing gear check, and you're like, yep, check.

I hope so. Do you get to flick a button? Yeah. He can do it. Yeah, he should touch the buttons. You don't touch the buttons. I wonder if it has like an aux cord or something. Yeah, play some beats up there.

That's great. Bluetooth? What would you play? Appetite. Be Appetite. You'd be up in the air. Appetite, Appetite. Kissy face.

There's Crittin' Hour. Appetite, Appetite. Send to your phone. Hey, we're out of here. Next week, though, $500 to spend with Tradie Underwear for the Call of Fame. That's right, $500 on undies. Oh, that'd be great. That's nice.

We've got, what else have we got? We've got Alphax. Your chance of $10,000 up for grabs. $630 and $000 went off this week. We'll be here. I'll be there. I'll be here. You'll be here.

He'll be here. Hopefully he's here. Babs. Babs, you coming next week? Yeah, I'll be here. Not going on a cruise or something? Not ducking off? No, I'll be here.

You know those autumn specials for cruises? The Ruby Princess. Babs goes down. I'll get another room with no window again. I'm living in the galley this trip. All right, Jack and Rose, that's enough. Crossing live from the port side. We still need to do a show of cruise.

I think we should. No, we don't. Just for the sake of it. Oh, no, I want to go on a nude one. Yeah, well, it's confronting. You can go on a nude cruise with us, though. I can't do, I want to go on a nude one. Yeah, well, that's confronting. You can go on nougars with us, though. I can't do it. Shaga will just show us a lot.

You know, I think we've reached the peak of our camaraderie. The only way is to take it up a net level. You know? Imagine me sitting next to Shaga, though, naked. You wouldn't even see me. That's your complex you've got to deal with. All right, we're out of here. We're back Monday.

We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. I was going to say flat post here. Oh, you said it. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.