Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Pardon me for thinking you can put two and two together!

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Jess takes us through a wedding from hell, Ducko goes wine tasting and should you marry your cousin?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new Macrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today. Jess and Duggo. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi, friends, family, foes and everything in between. Oh, my God. Who's left? Who's left?

Friend family foes. Nonchalant people who don't know who we are. Yeah. Well, I guess they're everything in between. Exactly. Friends, family foes and fraud. I'm trying to give one of the F word. Friends, family foes, fuckwits.

Fellins. Yeah. Well, felons and fuck. Yeah, friends, family foes, felons, fuckwits. I wonder if anyone's streaming this from jail. Could be. Can you? We're big in the prison community.

We are. Huge in the prison. We are. Where's the prison in Newcastle? I looked at Babs because I just figured she'd know the other people. It's Cessnock. Yeah, Cessnock. Cessnock Jail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. Maitland used to have one. Yeah, I've been past that Maitland Jail. Now they do. Spelt with a G. Ghost tour is in there. Yeah, I'd love to do a ghost tour. Yeah.

Can we talk about that? Goal. Yeah, I hate that. Is it pronounced jail? I never have said it out loud. I think that's the correct way to pronounce it. It's like donut with a G H. Yeah.

It's like the proper way. Proper way. But it makes like frigginz. Similar. Gersie? You know how there's another way to say it with a G or spell it with a G? Guernsey, I think, is only what I hear in AFL a bit more. And it's a Gernsey.

Yeah, yeah. But it's not, that's a pretty old term. See, I think I have a grasp of English and then there's words like this and I go, but what's that? What is that? And why is it like that? Yeah. So Maitland Jail no longer functional. No, it's just laser tag and goes to us.

That would be fun, playing laser tag in jail. We should do that as like a work breakup function. We should do that. Hello, social committee. Not with anyone else, just our team. And we'll bring shorts along. Do you know what we should do? Stop off in more, perfect.

We don't need to get too fucking carried away. Don't it. Who is? I want razzles. We need to book in our team breakup for the year, actually. because tell you what my weekends are filling up. Might have to be a little Thursday or Friday. You know what we need to do?

Draw names for Secret Santa. If we're going to talk about Christmas break up. I was so excited about that yesterday when we had a little lunch. Yeah, what was, what did you reveal? And I said, you better write that down. I didn't reveal anything. You drilled me about my prescription toothpaste that I refused to buy. And you were like, well, tell me what it is because I get you for Secret Santa.

You know how you're like, what do you guys talk about? You can't fathom we could have a conversation. You know what we talk about? He's his refusal to buy the prescription toothpaste. So good. So good. So if I pull him. I will get him.

Please don't buy me two-faced. That is not a gift. We should actually do a ghost tour though in the jail. Because we get content out of that. Oh, we're doing ghost tour? We're doing a laser tag. Well, Lola tag's fun, but I don't think we're getting as much content. Whereas a ghost tour, we'll freak out.

We spend the night there. Can you do the thing? Have they got those machines where it's like the poltergeist? You know, like bib, there's a spirit. Yeah. In this cell, there's a spirit. I can imagine your dad has one of those. Whose dad?

Yours? Yeah, mine. Why would he have that? It just feels like it's in his wheelplay. Of the four dads, Damo would have the ghost thing. Yes. It wouldn't be Chris Allen. Nah, it wouldn't be Rob Farch.

Not would be Rob Farch. Could it be Mark? Yeah. Let's do a ghost tour. That sounds like the zombie up for me. Ah, Shagga, don't touch me there. That's not me, bro. This is the funny ghost.

Yeah, yeah, it is. Oh, uh. Remember Shagga, we got the sound effect. It's the first time you let it play to get to these. Oh, it's one of the great days. Did you just put that on? It sounds like me. I'm just distorted my voice.

Yeah. Like the payoff of these, it'll be years before they let it play this long, but when they do, it'll be epic. It's almost as good as one of the grabs you're going to see in the show. You have to get through the whole show to hear it.

Hopefully you stick with us. You know, I'd like to see the analytics of how long people stay for the whole thing or when they drop off. I can show you. Don't bury the lead. Sorry.

Give them a tease. I'll give them a tease. Yeah. That's a little. Anyway, should we sync calendars? When are we going to play Ghost Tours? Can you sync your calendar? You know what I mean, let's cross-reference our calendar.

We'll go out this week. It'll have you a week day, right? Do they do them during the week? Oh, yeah, we'll do the week. And hang on, do they do them during the day, or is it only a nighttime thing? I don't think it would have to be a night. I was going to say, I'm not going out there at night. That's a bit too scary.

Is it the Hunter Valley Ghost Tour? Oh, November. Maybe like, you know, 7th, 8th, November, 14th, 15th. Or something you know, in those weeks. Are we doing mid-week, sorry? Well, it's night time. I've got a promo update with Nick.

Have you not deleted those yet? Delete those. To be fair, he should. One job before you. Oh, the guy who walked off the job. He's not going to bloody. He's not going to delete it. I'm going to be an update.

Do we want the ghost in heritage or the Raymond Terrace? It says you're going to be the update. No, I have to climb them all. They're out of my calendar. Am I still attending? You are attending. Shy Guy and Jason said, no, me and Babs are a maidie. We're so secret of Babs.

Oh, you're on the fence. You guys should absolutely hang out more. You're so similar. Wait, what happened? No, oh, yeah. How do you have headphones on and able to not listen? Because I'm reading, because Malin Jail has been closed until further notice, because they've found fire and electrical safety issues.

Yeah, I think it's... Is there any other ghost shows weekend? I want to a ghostie with a team. So they only do them, like, sporadically throughout the year. So the next one is on the 10th of October. us, that's in two days. The next one is on Halloween, so the 31st. That's fun.

What dates Halloween for? Friday. It's always a Friday? Not always, which is when the 31st falls. I'm in flying to Melbourne. The only other one is the 15th of November. I'm also in Melbourne. Sorry.

Fuck, Jess. They're the only three days they've got. Got to start paying my dues to all the people. 31st of October. You guys go. Tell me about it. I'm sure you'll have so much fun. Babs, 31st of October.

Lock it in. What day is this? Friday. Oh, well, I'll probably be visiting. No, you're crying at home solo. No. I want to go to a Halloween party this year. I think it would be fun.

Well, okay, this guy. Who's party? I don't know. We'll go. Don't go to throw a party and she'll come. I don't want to throw a party because I got a child. She goes to bed early, so we couldn't make any noise. You know who needs to throw the party.

Shy guy. He lives at home. The guy who lives in a bachelor, baby. The guy who doesn't have any house me. I'm going to throw a party. He invites people. It's just me and Babs there. We're all standing around punch, just waiting.

But I love the idea he sunk thousands in the decorations. There's a big blow-up tarantula. You've got my big dicks everywhere. Big dicks everywhere. The theme, dicks. We can go to one of your friends' Halloween parties, Babs. Right, we'll come. Well, Babs doesn't even have a party.

She used to find a friend friends. Would you ever, would you, if your friends are having a party, he's like, hey, can I bring, like, some friends from work? Would you ever do that? No. I don't know. Would she ever ask her friend, can I bring friends from work? Do you hear the words?

And would they go, who? And you go, oh, just duck on show. I go, they're like, fuck. Okay, all right. Yeah, maybe. Never in a million years. I couldn't imagine going out and hanging out with 23, four-year-olds. I'd imagine they'd be both.

Four. I'd imagine they'd be both. Yeah. Would I get along with your friends? I think so. You're kind of like emotionally. Intelligent. At my level.

Yeah. What does that mean? What does that mean? Let's dig down. Like, as in like, you know, you act younger sometimes. Both like Olivia Dene. Oh, I was an insult, right. I don't know. I didn't actually know which way that was going to go.

I was a really nice thing bad she said to me. Because like the emotional maturity of women, you know, is different. I was like, what are you getting? I thought you meant like, you know, we're into the same things. Yeah, humour and music. I don't know, with emotional maturity. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I said it wrong.

Yeah, yeah. No, I got you. You know what I mean. I thought I picked up what you're on the same level. You're watching it. Oh, let's go to party, Babs. Let's, let's drink some fucking punch. I just get legless.

Everyone's like, who is that guy? Babbs just to hold your hair back over the toilet. I'm like, you guys are so young. What are you doing with all your spare time? Seize the day now because once you're a start of business. Don't have kids until you're ready. There's never a right time, but now is not the right time. When I was your age, I was just fucking and drinking.

And napping. Don't waste your lives. They need to hear this, Duggo. And they should hear it from you. And then Shiger should be there next to me like, yeah, do whatever. No plan. Is he ever next you in this scenario?

I really want to get drunk with everyone in this team just one time. Like, I know it's a tough ass because... It's never going to happen. Chaga doesn't drink.

But like, God, I reckon three drinks and you're fucked. So that's all we need to get you. Yeah, but... I'm willing to spike you. As a friend.

Have you ever been drunk? Drunk? Yeah, not... A long time ago, right? When you were probably too young to deal with it. Probably didn't like it. Yeah, I think I was camping.

Scard. Camping. Yeah. So, you know, come to a controlled environment. Come with a duck man. You're a bit drunk of him. We know control. Come to the beaches.

Yeah, it's got the beaches. Brother. Spongon. You do Sponcon. Yeah, I'll get you some free drinks. What if I buy all your drinks? I'll buy you toothpaste. You'll buy your drinks.

You're covered. You don't have to spend any money. Please don't buy me toothpaste. I'm going to do it if I pull you for Secret Santa. I'm going to do it too, just because you don't want. Me too. I'm going to get you dentics from Aldi. Oh my God.

That shit sucks. Yeah, it's so bad. I accidentally bought it and I went, fuck, that's the wrong one. It's not a cold day. You'd be like, I better use it. I'm going to live through these cheques you. Hey, because it's like the same ribbon and shit. It's the same red and white ribbon.

It's like power grain. It is. The knockoff neutral grain. They get you. So frustrating. But it's cheap. It is cheap. Maybe we asked a dentist if it's any good and they're like,

this is why you had a root canal at 20 fucking two because you skimmed on your toothpaste. Why can't help on poor? She did grow up on the farm. Yeah, she can't help that. They're just brushing their teeth with raw cows. Mama! This should do. Just my molasses?

I can't buy my washing powder and my soap in the same week. It's too expensive. But God, you guys churned good butter. Yeah, we do. Fuck me. Say it in that. And I cooked bread at home, too, in my oven. My gas oven that I lied with the match.

It's just raw dough on the air. Well, your dad's got the ghost thing. There's one over here on and come out. That's fine. I want to have some of my damper dad. And we're all southern, but I've lost my accent. No, I want to hear yours again. Yours is the best.

Is it? Yeah, so you... Hey, sorry, is that Coach Bill Yost in the house? Ain't there the tree? We got a ghost, huh? Come on now. It actually would work if your teeth fell out because I feel like it would fit with the southern accent

a bit more accurately. Yeah, and you got a spit bucket, you're all spitting it. Yeah, and the wacky tobacco underneath. Yeah. Tobacco. Yeah. On the Zinn. Yeah, on the Zinn.

My mates choose Zin. A lot of them now who are trying to quit smoking and not vapes, they chew the fucking tobacco patches. But it's bad for you, though. It's so bad for you. so bad for you. That's better than vaping. It's not.

No, no, is it in their mind? Choose your own board. Is it bad for your gums, though? Yeah, yeah, it can give you, like, mouth cancer or stuff. I had, I tried one of it, this was ages ago, like, just one of my mates one. Like, had, like, a one suck or bite or whatever, I nearly wanted to vomit. Spat it straight back out. How do you push through from that initial to then actually get hooked on it?

Smoking is truly something I have never had the urge to ever be addicted to. I've tried it, and I've never liked it. I've had alcohol, pushed through that. And when this is coffee, similarly, I'm with the first coffee ever had, the first white wine. Yeah. Now, it's just one of those things where I go, if you're going to, like, alcohol's bad for you, right? But it promotes a good time in a lot of ways. Smoking for me, I'm like, well, I didn't see that.

There's an element there where you go. It's a high risk, no reward. The smoking. And when you see them on a freezing night huddled together in the smoker's corner, which are few and far between now, it's all like, no smoking, no smoking, no smoke, no smoke. What joy are you getting at that? Yeah, I don't know. And vapes.

Have you tried some of the vapes, man? Donovan. Oh, God, they give, have you, have you tried some? Yeah. Yeah. When you're drunk? Yes. Yeah.

Jesus, mate, they knock you round. Really? Headspin galore. No, they do. It makes you feel weird. It makes you feel like super light. Is it a vape nicotine? Some of them do.

Does it have the same addictive property as? Yeah. Because it's flavor, like, I must have really weak throat or lungs because I always like cough no matter what it is. But geez, you suck that in and you're just like, you can head spins. People are doing that middle of the night and they wake up? Yeah, some people might. literally will roll over in the middle of the night

and have some and they don't get to sleep. That's bad. And it's like the first thing that they think of when they wake up. There's an addictive property to it. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's super addictive. Tell your friends they're wasting their lives.

Yeah, I'll never get this time back. I will. I'll let us know. Are you like a pick up a hobby? You have a couple of drinks. You're like, give me a suck. You're like, yeah. No, I only did it like once.

I don't find that stuff interesting. No, it's funny, isn't it? You know, when our age people will be like, I'm a social smoker. Yeah. So you have social vapors now. Yeah, totally. Like only on the drink. Like when you got a wedding, one person's got the vape.

And he's like, mate, can I have a suck of that? Yeah, they all share. It's like 50 sucks. And they're all punching it. You're like. Well, is vape the reason COVID's spent so much? Because everyone was sharing the vase. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's kind of gross if you think about it. It is like, you make it be like really sick and you're just like, yeah, give me a share a cigarette, really. Like you have one each. Whereas a vape, you know, they pass it around. Vap circles. And there's always the one guy, opposite to me. I go, I don't vape and they judge you.

Like, all right, man. Yeah, I know. I'm drinking. Look, I'm trying to... I'm cool in other ways, man. Yeah, man. You know what I mean? Watch, I could suck my own toes.

The grey hip mobility. When I get on the ground, I'm on my own toes. They all walk away. I'm like, no, I can still do it. Come back. Just give me five minutes. Watch me to work. Yeah, yeah.

Put on wop. Oh, now I've shit myself. Can you come back? Bring me some toilet paper. Me and my friends are going to do a ghost tour. You want to come. I'm hanging out, my 24-year-old pal-babs. I'm so cool.

Shot guy's going to bring a bottle of pistachios. He's so cool. Shot guy's driving because he doesn't drink But we're going to get, I'm going to spike he's drink As a friend You know, I can't get Turn in love Jess and Ducko in the morning

Stop what you're doing And listen You know I got the shit that you like There's only one show to wake up for you I'm not that easy to tang Jess You know I can't get Angus to roll play I didn't wish I got

I got I ain't got to explain Ducko No mom I don't want to race sperm Got him going insane yet She's either one I got a review with a mustache. Oh, no, there was no filter for that.

You're testing my patience today. Well, yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Right on 6 o'clock. Hey, welcome to Wednesday, gang, halfway. Oh, good morning. Halfway already there. How good is that?

Doesn't that feel lovely? That feels nice. We love a Monday public holiday. Woke up, feeling like a Tuesday and had that like, ugh. And then I was like, wait a minute, it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday, baby. And it's so, oh, what a world we live in. I didn't even know what the public holiday on Monday was for.

What is it for? I think Chagai said late. I thought it was the grand final long weekend. Ah, no, only Victoria. Bloody sneaked one of those in. I don't even know what that means. You're not meant to wear white after Labor Day. I have heard that in the American rom-coms and sitcom.

But Labor Day. I don't know what Labor Day is. Labor means to work. But we all took it off. It should be no Labor Day. Yeah, it's just to celebrate how hard we do work. That's why we have the break. Just to catch your breath.

If you do work one of those 24-hour job cycles, though, thank you for your contributions to the economy. Yeah, yeah. But God. Now it's a Wednesday already. It feels good. I mean, the four-day week is glorious. It is to celebrate the achievements of workers and fighting for fair working conditions. Well, that's it.

That's exactly what you said. We're fighting for a little guy. You know what I mean? That's what we do. So all the people who have fought to get us here get to have a little day off. Yeah, except those working double time. Except what those are. Well, someone's going to keep the country going, so we salute you.

If I need to go to the country. If I need to go to the ER, I'm going to need someone there. So to them we absolutely salute. Jeez, yeah. But otherwise, yeah, to now say it's Wednesday. It's great, isn't it? Glorious. I walked in on a site that I never thought I'd see.

What was that, docker? I walked in on, I come around the corner this morning to the kitchen to see Jess putting protein from a protein packet in a glass and talking to me about chocolate protein. Getting some advice? Is the world upside down? What is happening right now? So what? The only thing to equal.

lies now for you to pull I don't know, some some brie or maybe a forget at your back pocket and you have a little cheese board for breakfast. I'm sitting just protein like recommendations.

We're talking about depth of scoop because you're concerned I'm not scooping adequately. The bag of board was scooped. I don't want the protein shaker. You need it. I got such an ick with that mouthpiece. Why don't you just get it, shake it in there

then you can pour into a glass if you want? Why can't I just stir? I don't think it, like, look at the glass. I want to be the opposite of James Bond. I want to be stirred, not shaken. There's a bit of remnants. There's a bit of remnants left on that. So you're saying that's all good protein.

That's good protein, you're wasting. Yeah, that's gains you're wasting. Look, it's my first day having protein. I'm learning. I'm trying to help you. And you are. That's a great tip. I don't want to now finger that because...

You can get some nice little protein shakers. You've got some pink lids, etc. It's not issue with the colour. It's that all of them have that awful mouthpiece. I don't find the mouthpiece. I feel like, do you know what it reminds me of? I think this is adequate. This is a fair example.

Did Morgan in the delivery room have the gas at all? No, she didn't take the gas. I had two puffs on the gas. Did nothing for me, went straight to epigrear. It reminds me of that, that big, wide mouthpiece. It reminds me of that mouthpiece,

and it's not like a scuba tank. I don't want that. I like a wide lip. You like a one. This one, this is my bottle here. It's similar. Yeah, no. I don't like, I don't like, I don't like sucking the water.

See, I prefer a suck. Well. When you drink out of that, very gaping mouth. Yes. Do you wrap all your lips around it? Or are you sort of, are you a halfie? Ah. See, when I drink the protein shaker, I wrap all my lips around.

Oh, no, you've got to do the half, top lip covering half. Maybe that's my issue. So, so you're going like this. It's, and it feels awful. It's not angers. You see why it's... Oh, that would be horrible. You see why it's horrible.

I see why... Like, I only do that on his birthday. And not every day is May 29. Once a year I do that. That's why I... No, want to get PTSD from it. You get it. That's so weird.

You get it. I can't believe that's how you drink. I've got terrible technique. Oh, that's why all my drink... Like, that just all comes down. Yes. And now you don't... The delivery system.

Go to the half-flip. The delivery system is way too aggressive. You know, I think I know how to do that? Because when you drink a beer, in order to not make you go frothy and stuff like that, you've got to do the half-lip. Okay, see? Honestly, think I have had two sips of beer in my entire 34 years. Everything I've consumed is a straw or it's a soft liquid so I can just do it at my own pace. Whereas the protein shake a delivery method, similar to that shape water bottle, it's way too aggressive the way I wrap my mouth around this.

Yeah, no, so cover it half. God, you've taught me. It's not even 10 past six, and you have taught me so much already. I've learned a lot, too. I have learned. Every time I see one of those lids, I'm going to think about you putting like a pelican, like over it fully up. And then just this tidal wave of liquid entering me.

Yeah, it would be so aggressive. It's horrific. Yeah, I get that. Anyway, you know. Perhaps when you have your protein, do you drink it like... Her peach gummy I learned is her flavour of choice. Oh, when you have your peach gummy, do you deep throat like that, or do you just half cover?

Half cover. Yeah, okay. Where'd you learn how to drink? I don't know. I just came naturally, really. I'm going to text my mum. Jeez, you've let me down here. Wow, I got, that's...

What an idiot. That's so good. My whole life's a lie. I wish I saw you in a while doing it too. You never will. My husband keeps coming home with protein shakers, you know, promotional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If he goes to an event, everyone...

You never buy a protein shaker. You never buy a protein. We've got 15 in the cupboard. Yeah. We'll try tomorrow. Try that. It'll change your life. You can coach me live.

Oh, that's so funny. I was loving you like... What an idiot. Anyway, so that's the chapter I'm... I love it. I love it. It's good to see it. It fired me up, you know?

The first thing I ate yesterday, Ducco, was at 1130. I had a crumbed schnitzel wrap. Like, I just went, I've got to be doing better by my body. Maybe protein is an easy... A drink is an easy way to get some good stuff in. Get the nutrients in. During the show. Well, you know, I saw you went on a date with Shiger yesterday.

Hello, Shiger. Morning. It was to get that crumb schnitzel wrap. Yeah, yeah. I may have needed his help, but I had to lure him. Yeah. All on air, Shogga was like, no, not doing it again. I thought you were joking.

Do you know why he would have thought I was joking about hanging out with him? Did you think it was a legitimate offer? I just didn't think you'd ever go. Based off your reaction. I had to dangle, I'll feed you, I'll buy your bunch. Free food. And he ended up showing. I did tag him on social media.

Not only as he got a bunch of followers. I was in undated with people going, hang on a minute. Shy guy's real name is Luke. Oh, really? People very surprised. I don't know why people would get out about that. Someone said, no, no, no. He's a Sam or a Ryan.

He does look like a Sam. You look like a Ryan. Yeah, yeah, people were going, he doesn't look like a Luke. I see, I think you suit Luke, but you also suit Sam and Ryan. I think Sam and Ryan, yeah. People don't even know my name. Yeah, it's so true. Yeah.

When you have to tell a story from your parents' perspective, they obviously don't call you Ducco. So, mum and dad call you Knit. It feels weird now getting called that. I wig out. I wig out and I've obviously known you. Anyway. But anyway, how are you? I'm good.

Have you had your protein this morning? Had me Crewe. You've had your Crewe. You've had your Crewe. Brain is firing, baby. I've got to get onto that. Look at asshole punching supplements pre 6am. We're a supplement show.

We absolutely are. Gaze. Sobs, what are you on today? What a. Oh. You're the one who taught me about peach gummy. Oh. Yeah, but I don't have that.

About at 6 o'clock in the morning. Oh, okay. It's because she's lazy and trains in the afternoon. Yeah. Not all of us have games early. Hey, big show for the team. Yeah. Al-Fox, your chance at $10,000, of course.

Shagai Dip's Day today. Oh, my God. Hopefully you got a new cereal. What else we go? Oh, more chances at Louis Capoli tickets? Well, they'll be drawn at 9 a.m. Yeah. The pool is small.

It's a small. It's a co-fots. All you need to do is get involved in the show. Up next, though. Shargo's got a great article for us. Shaggo, what are you got? How long men last in the bedroom, according to a study? We're going to go through it age and time.

And I'm sure we'll get Ducko and Shy Guy's stats. Let's jump into Shy Guy's bedroom. Been desperate for an invitation. Yeah, we've all been waiting. We've only been to his house. We've only had glimpses in photograph form. We've just seen tissues, tissues, and a mirror shop. Bunched up tissues, left, right and centre.

I look forward to the first time we get to go to his house. your house. Oh my God. I don't think it'll ever happen. Eventually. We find out that he's actually had Babbs over for afternoon tea. That wouldn't surprise me. They make scoms together and then sit on his back patio.

And speak about nothing. But I was going to say debate whether it's jam or cream, cream or jam. Oh, yeah. Just argue. Just argue. I see Babs would be doing most of the baking. Sure. Well, she'd have access to an oven that you don't have a light with a lighter.

Babbs like, wow, look, this modern technology. Wow. Look at this oven. Oh, look at this dial. Where's the lighter? You don't have to light things by a candle? There's no open flame in this oven. What?

Anyway, a study has revealed. Morning Babs. Clap back if you want. Yeah, you can say something. It's fine. No, she hasn't ever no peach gummy protein. So her brain's not as sharp as ours. I'm surprised someone with IBS likes peach gummy just quietly.

It's protein water. It's got no dairy. Oh, it's water. Right. Copy that. With collagen. Oh, good to know. Anyway, study's been done to show the average time men last in the bedroom across all ages.

So I'm going to give you your age bracket and how long you should be or the average man lasts. Yes, and this is actually a good lesson. If you are outside of this, maybe we can be changing something up. Well, sex experts have said, do not attempt to measure up against others, you know? I take back what I just... They've come out and said everyone's different, every man's different, you know? If every man's different, though, how have they found similarities to put people in brackets.

Look, don't make them feel bad. Don't make the one or two men who feel, you know. You do, you. Yeah, exactly. For as long as you can. 18 to 24 year olds. So for this range, it is 16 minutes. That's got to be the highest.

That's got to be, no, they're saying that's the average. Sorry, as in across the ages. Yeah, yeah. 18 to 24, you to, I would assume. It's more a 24 year old. They are the longest lasting. I'd be curious to see how every other age bracket stacks up. Yeah, it says in your 20s,

excitement and novelty are high, which can lead to quicker climaxes. Oh, less experience, which means more excitement, less control. I'm fair enough. Surely the 18 and 19 year olds are like a minute. And then the 23 and 24 year olds are like must be 20 and it's averaging it out.

Is the 18 year olds bringing that down? Yeah. 25 to 34 year olds. Yes. This is where Shagai and I fall in. I'm on the cusp of this. Absolutely. 18 minutes and 29 seconds. 18. It goes up because there's better communication, you're usually making sex feel smoother and you know what you're doing.

Okay. And you know what, and I would, I'm going to put all men in this bracket in that category. If you are in a relationship, I would hope, better comms in terms of, oh, you're not nowhere near done. Well, let's work on you for a bit of four-play stuff going on. A bit of give and take, which means, well, you don't just finish. You don't just finish. Exactly.

A bit more of a relationship stance. 35 to 44-year-olds, this is where it starts to dip. 17 minutes. Okay, still longer than the 18 to 24-year-old average. Yeah, it says hormonal changes in early erectile dysfunction is starting to appear. Ah, rectiles. Yeah, yeah. So I'm on the cusp of that.

And you know, what a 16 and 18 minutes. Yeah, like, they feel long to me. Like I said, I'm a bit... Do you want to sit here for 18? Yeah, I'm a song guy. So, like, you know, okay, four songs. Yeah, and are they R&B songs, which are traditionally a bit longer? That's a hectic technique.

Yeah. And then a bit of Ed Sheeran. Oh, absolutely. Perfect goes for about four minutes. Yeah, yeah. That beefs out your time. Yeah, I pick songs I know the time on. Rufus Innerblooms eight minutes.

I'm like, if I can get through this, I'm a king. Do you do what I do? Sorry to bring up the gym again, but it's like, I just got to get to the chorus and then I can slow down. Or do you do that? You're like, all right, I'll thrust until I get to the verse and then I can sort of catch my breath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slow it down, change pace. Exactly.

45 to 54. See, now are we getting into. We're dipping. Well, yes. This is where it's that. Well, I haven't done that, but it says 14 minutes. This is going to be a drop down to erections becoming less predictable for men. Okay.

55 to 64, 11 minutes. Okay. However, your intimacy skill and connection often deepen. Taking time with warm-ups and focus. See, I love that. Everyone needs a warm. Don't hurt yourself. Which technically prolongs the session.

Yes. And I like that they haven't included maybe a Viagra. Yeah, haven't put that in there yet. You know, outlier. Because realistically, if I'm having a Viagra, I'm only lasting 11. I'll be asking for my money back. You know what we did?

Not me personally, but what happened at a Bucke's I was at once is the guy got spiked with Viagra. The groom? Yeah. While he was at the races. I mean, he's that, that. He's just walking around the whole day going,

I don't feel it. I don't feel everyone's like, right, right? Oh, but could you see it? I mean, I couldn't. I've never actually personally tried a Viagra. I've got mates who swear buy them. Yeah, all right.

Who say like, yeah, but then apparently it's like, apparently it's like a touch, like a gust of wind or a touch of fabric. We'll do enough for a young, yeah, yeah. So you better be ready to go because otherwise. Anything sets you off. Wasted. Yeah, yeah. I've never actually, I've never tried one.

I didn't know how a temperamental it was. Yeah. 65 year olds, they drop down to eight minutes. I mean, that's, you get. But to me, I feel like eight minutes. I'm like, well. At 65, that's fantastic. How old's my dad?

He'd be 65. He goes for longer than eight. He'll be 65 in a couple days. Oh, so he's still punching out on 11. I'll send him this intel. There's been a list that's come out of etiquette rules that you should do appropriately when hosting house guests. You think I need this?

I don't think you do. I would do all of these without even knowing it. Shy guy on the fence about Babs, I'm not sure if you ever host people. I'm intrigued by this because we've got my entire wife's family, like her cousins and her mum and dad and stuff coming to town today. Okay. It's been too long between seeing little floe.

flow, they all coming into town. Two weeks. So we've got... Are they staying with you? No, so her cousin's with us for the next three nights. Okay. And then it goes into the Airbnb. The parents get here in the weekend.

Her parents and cousins and stuff like that are on an Airbnb then for like... Okay. So a nice little buffer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's going to be... Couldn't have them in my house for that long. It's going to be a busy time for you. It is.

It's going to be... And like, you know, they're not going to respect my early alarm because they're like... No one does. Yeah, they're like, oh, you just talk on the radio. Yeah, doesn't shy guy write your scripts? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If you can call it work that you've got to get up for, I'm like, yeah, but I'm still getting up.

Exactly. That's all got to be firing. But this is the trade of all the content you're going to get from me in-laws. Oh, I'm going to get so much. Fantastic. It'll be me not speaking about it in depth for like a week, and then I'm just going to go on an absolute rip and tear. Tell them they can taxiduck their whole trip because it's going to be counted as work for you. So, Jackie Vernon Thompson, obviously a hyphenone name, means she's the founder from the Inside Out School of Etiquette.

Thank you for clarifying it was hyphenated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes one to no one. It does, you know? If you're getting a hyphenated name, not only is it hard to check into flights, but you're very intelligent. Putting that hyphen in the official documentation.

Virgin just don't think it exists, do they? No, no, your middle name will be Vernon. No, no, it's part of my surname. Trust me, it's not, uh, when people ask my name, because I'm Nick Allen Duckett. My actual full name is Nicholas Mark Allen Duckett. And then you've got to put Ducko in quotations. Nicholas Mark Ducko Allen Duckett.

But I don't tell me with that. Like, oh, sweeties told us his middle name. Like they get a bit like, oh. Like a five-year-old. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm five and three-quarters. I'm 34 and three-quarters.

Anyway, these are the things you should be doing. You should be always providing clean sheets and towels. Oh, wonderful. I think that's a gimmie. So the cousin that you're staying with, if you change your sheets? Change the sheets, wash the sheets. And put the nice folded towel on the corner of the bed. I don't give them the nice.

as Tao because that's mine, but I give them, you know, top top four. Absolutely. Not providing, sorry, not hovering. So make sure when you expect your guests to come, they're going to spend every waking minute with you. So I don't just hover and feel like you need to be around them all the time. I love that. My brother actually told me that.

My brother and sister-in-law came to a visit. Must have been when Lou Chega was first born. And I got a bit like, God, activities, activities. He went, bro, it's fine. Happy to sit here and watch TV. Like, we didn't come to do the activities. We came to hang out. I went, that's actually a lovely sentiment.

But you would hate it every second of it. Yeah, well, I've already booked 15 things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the same though. When I have people over, I feel like we've got to do things. Yeah, like if they come to visit. Yeah. Ignoring, ignoring allergies is one.

Sorry, don't ignore allergies. Food allergies. If they've got any food or diet, like Babs comes and stays, that thing would come with instructions. I just love the idea. Hey, I'm anaphylactic. I don't care. Eat a Ferreiro Rochere.

I don't give it. I don't give a damn. This is what's for dessert. You've given me. me a really itchy towel. My hay fever's just playing up. I don't care. My dermatitis is not going to like this. What was this woman's name? Julie, did you say? Jackie. Jackie, I mean, thank you for clarifying. Not welcoming guests into your home. It goes a long way to either greet them at the door or go and pick them up. Sorry, who's not doing that if someone comes to say? Just come on

in, mate. Do we just leave the key under the mat, go sort yourself out? Yeah, you can do it. Do you pick up from the airport, though? Do you say, I'll get your own way here and I'll be here for you? Ethnic, man. We've got to go pick them up. Yeah. We're going to do that. today as well. Oh, okay. And more it's like, oh, it's going to interrupt Flo's first nap. I say, you've got a great excuse with the baby. We do. And she's like, I don't want to do it, but like feel like she has to. Yeah, yeah, they've come all this way. Nothing I can

do. I'm at work. Working very hard, may I add. Not sharing of important house information, I hear the Wi-Fi password. Who is? Do you feel comfortable, though, if you went to Shy Guys for an evening, would you feel comfortable going, hey, shy guy, give me the Wi-Fi?

Or is it on him to go, hey, here's the Wi-Fi. You're going to stay overnight. I think I'd forget to offer. I think they'd have to ask. Oh, yeah, here you go. Mine is still a bunch of letters and numbers that I don't know, and it's on a fridge magnet. Totally, totally. Yeah, yeah.

We had some people babysitting for us and they went MIA. We were away and they were like, we could not get in touch with them, panic stations. We nearly sent the in-laws over to go bang on the door. And she goes, we couldn't connect to the Wi-Fi. You left us the wrong password. Oh, goodness. And they're like, phones had gone. down.

So without the internet, I went, that's a good note. They were blind. Let's make sure we leave the correct information. And then lastly, failing to communicate about plans and expectations for the visit. Discuss everyone's schedule and what they'd like to do in advance. How much they want to do. I like the word expectations. It's like, you're coming over.

Cool, well, you're on floors and bathroom. So that'll be your job whilst you're staying here. You'll be cleaning. You'll be cleaning. It's so much. Yeah. Anyway, I look forward to my next two weeks of house guests. You know what?

You should print that. Yeah, she would put it up. Laminate it. and put it on her bed. That's exactly what I should do. Just so you can set expectations. With my sherriton towels. Jess and ducco in the morning.

Jess and ducco's 10K Alphabobos on here. Alphabet. Yeah, baby. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. I can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. We come back if there's time.

We're playing for 10K. I play it today. Hang on. We got a birthday. We got a birthday, girl. Happy birthday, Cam. Thank you. Happy.

Come on, shy guy. Happy birthday. Sing a shy guy. Everyone knows. We don't have time for this. We'll decide how much time. Just give her a sexy. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Cam. Thank you so much. On the scale of sexiest happy birthdays, there was Marilyn Monroe singing to the president that time. And shy guy saying it to Cam. Yeah. Wow. Hope you're feeling good.

How old are you turned today? Oh, geez. You have to ask. I apologize. 51. 55. 55. You don't look at a day over 23.

Gorgeous. What are we doing with 10 grand, Cam? I assume we're going to have a massive 55th. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, no, it'd be awesome. It'd be a great birthday present. Also, I just live in a little unit at the moment, so I'm looking to get into a house,

so that would go towards a bond. Absolutely. All right. Well, Cam, we're going to the top of the alphabet for you today. You're playing with the letter A. A for alpha bucks. Awesome. And I don't want to make you nervous,

but shy guy just played and he went, ooh, getable. Hang on, he never says that. He never says that, Ducko. That's why I thought it was worth telling him. Oh, God, the pressure's on. Okay, you can do it. You've got the shy guy backing.

You're ready to rock? I am. Thank you. You're welcome. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter A, we need you to name something loud. A airport?

A band? A CDC. An appliance. Pass. An animated TV show. Oh, pass. An adjective. Acting?

An animal. A clock? A six-letter word. Ah, pass. A chocolate. cheese past. A cling. I did so bad.

Yeah, well, hey, you came out of the gates flying with the first two, but you ended up with four. That's better than zero. Better than zero, nearly half. An appliance could have been an air friar, and a minute TV intro. That's a type of one. American Dad or Avatar, the last airbender. Yeah, yep, yes. Oh, well.

A six-letter word, animal or absent, and a chocolate could have been Aero or Shago's favorite, the Armand Gold. Oh, love it. No, never mind. I gave it a go. Yeah, and that's all we can ask for, Cam. And you don't leave empty-handed for your birthday. What have you got for her, Ducco? Hey, Cam, for you.

Just for you. I've got $100 to spend at Minks Erotic Boutique. Oh, awesome. Thank you. You are very welcome. Trust me, that'll fit the apartment. Thank you. Wow, it depends if you upgrade.

Well, that's true. Actually, some don't. May I might be able to get that through the front door. You enjoy that, Cam. Thanks for play. All right. Thanks, bye. Happy birthday.

Happy birthday. Do play again, 8 o'clock. $10,000. Don't throw the contestants off, show. guy. I was really rude of you. I think you did buy. Saying it's easy. Aero's not easy. Anything with aero is never easy.

An avatar, the last airbender. I would have said avatar. Yeah, yeah. The last air band. All in all, okay. Next. Hey, Ducko. Yep.

I'm going to take you to, I'm going to take you into the celebrancy world, my friend. There's been some changes and some conversations happening around who we can and cannot marry. You'll be surprised if we can. This one came across my celebrancy desk, Ducko. I get inundated with emails. Updates to the marriage act. Hey, this is what's happening in the world. Hey, do you want to pay $4,000 and be advertising our magazine?

No, thank you. I'll be fine. I'm good, I've got Instagram. It's fine. Have you had a socials? Oh, my God. I'll send me the price list. I was like, no, I'll come to you if I need you.

Soon we'll start doing live reads for Jess. Hey, do you need a Jess Manning's. Wedding celebrant? That's... Yeah, yeah. Hi, I'm Ducco, and I endorse Jess. Send me your rate card. I'd love for you to be the face of my celebrants, you friend.

Hi, I'm Ducco, and I endorse Jess in a celebrant. Do you want to have a jackel? No, wait. Can you take us to the UK, firstly, Ducco? Because this... It's an international community of celebrants, and this one came through from the pipes of our British celebrant friends. Yeah, okay.

The National Health Service, the NHS, I guess, is their equivalent of our Medicare, right? It's meant to look after the country. They have come under fire. They've caused some controversy. They've blown up the internet because they released a report titled, Should the UK government be banning first cousin marriage? And it basically went on to say, no, they shouldn't because it's great. They've endorsed it.

They've endorsed it. They're saying it's good. It went on to describe. Babs his ears just pricked up. Well. Don't move to the UK just yet, Babs. You can be looked after a little closer to home, which I'll get to in a second. I don't want to marry my cousin.

Or magically the mic works, does it when you want to chip in? This report went on to describe the various potential benefits of marrying your first cousin, including a stronger extended family support system, an economic advantage. What's the economic advantage? Is it because you keep it in the family financially? Maybe, like the pre-nup doesn't apply if you're bad. But also, doesn't it mean you genetically, you have issues? Like, where the controversy came in is, was other people in the National Health Service went,

get this off the website. Because if we're encouraging this, yes, the genetic issues that will happen from cousins breeding with cousins. We need to be diversifying the gene pool or we're going to have issues. Now, why I want to bring it back closer to Australia? Yeah. Part of my course, and I've had to check this so many times, not because I've had inquiries, because I just can't quite believe it. Yes.

In Australia, we are covered by the Marriage Act 1961. You can marry your cousin here. Shut up. Is it legal? I thought it was illegal. It is legal. You can't marry a sibling. So sorry, you and Laura.

So marry a sibling's legal. Damn. But you and Janine? Well, that's my cousin. My cousin, Lucy. You and Lucy baby I just like It's legal

And I keep grappling with me What? Why is it legal? Isn't it? Doesn't it if you breed Isn't it actually bad for the kids? Yes, not necessarily But the smaller the gene pool

The way to I guess generally Avoid those genetic disorders Is to diversify the gene pool Right When you're getting smaller and smaller Because it's a first relative A first cousin, that sort of thing

That's where we start to have red flags Interesting. So yes, the idea of of love has trumped the idea of potential issues, and it's in the marriage act. You can legally marry your cousin here in Australia. Love is love. But the Jean-Paul is also the Jean-Paul. Maybe this is where the shy guy finds his mistress.

And how long are you single and lonely that you go, gee, she's starting to look pretty good? At what point? At what point? At what point? At what point do you start looking at your cousin going, yeah, you know what? She's a four, but I can see her as an eight. I'll give you, I'll give you ten bucks right now. Yeah.

globally, not just Australia, because in some cultures, it is very acceptable, and it's certainly legal. But what percentage in the world marry their first cousin? Like up until this point, what percentage of people have married? 11. I was going to say, 15. You are very close. 10. 10% of all marriages.

Someone knows too much. How does someone know the... How does someone know the percentages? You knew 10, but you threw 11. No, no, no. I thought it was low. It was going to remember how they're going to remember how they're. 10% of all marriages worldwide are between first or second cousins.

Interesting. Stats are difficult to accurately record because those marriages usually happen underground. Oh, yeah. And people don't advertise. It'd be a tough sell to the parents. Like, hey, so I'm going to marry. The parents and the aunt and uncle. Yeah, you want to marry cousin Sue, you know.

Yeah. We've got great news. We kicked it off. You know, there's no one else. Well, family Christmas is going to be wild. It'll be easy. We'll host next year. Yeah, you know who I am.

Now we're married. Oh, that would be weird. Anyway, so they've retracted at least from the end-hame chest. And what about auntsies and uncles and nieces and nephews? So I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure that is, fact-check me, please. It's been a year since I did my accreditation. I'm pretty sure niece to uncle.

Google this. Google off. Nephew to aunt. Yeah. I think that relationship also legal. Really? The one illegal. That feels problematic.

The one illegal is parent to child and sibling to sibling. Okay. Well, I'm glad this is now. in my history. It's not the worst thing you do. Did you say, can I? Did you phrase it as can I matter? Yeah.

In New South Wales, it's an offence. It's an offence. Which relationship? Well, I said have relations, but this has taken it as doing it. That's different. Marry. I have a different result. Here we go.

What do you got? I have yes in Australia, you can legally marry your aunt or uncle. What? Australia law permits marriage between you and a relative, such as an aunt, uncle or first cousins, but prohibits marriage to parents, It's grandparents, siblings, children. Yes. So you can marry your aunt, your uncle, and his and nephew.

Yep. That is horrific. How wild is that? But you can't have intercourse with them, but you can marry them. No, no, no. He just looked up the wrong thing. No, no, no, you can do whatever. What?

You cannot marry a sibling, a child or a parent or a grandparent. No. But you can do an aunt or an uncle. How is that? How is that legal? How crazy is that? Loopholes. Oh.

The Marriage Act, 1961. Like, has no one re-readed it. Come on. They don't let that one go through to the keeper. Come on. Do you know what? Let me take it to my groups, to my community groups, and I'll say, hey. Hey, whoa, what are you doing?

You know what I'd love? Yeah. If anyone has had to deal with this, I'll go to my circles. Has anyone, has anyone had an inquiry? Hey, we'd like to book you for the 14th? Yeah. I'm marrying me auntie. I'm marrying my nephew.

Yeah, yeah. I'll put it out to the, I'll put it out to my world. No, no, no. Hey, if you want a text in, 048-1-0669. If you know of anyone who's married a cousin or an uncle. Being the celebrant And how did you navigate that? Because it's legal.

I don't think you can say no. You'd have to be like, oh, sorry, I'm not available that day. That'd be a weird wedding though, right? It'd be very odd. It'd be small. The one family isn't quite. Yes and Docco. We went to get to Shark Guy dips.

We went shopping. Yeah, yeah. We went shopping because we needed to restock the cereal. Yesterday, when I saw on your socials that Shark I was with you, I was like, how did this happen? Because he was adamant yesterday on air. that he was not going to hang out with you. He's clinging to this fallacy that I thought you were joking.

When I offered for him to join me, yeah, I needed his help. But I also offered lunch. He went, I thought you were joking. I don't joke about lunch. And if I need help, I need help. Yeah, yeah. So yes, I had to do. Free lunch got him there, did it?

Free lunch did get him there. Yeah. We enjoyed a schnitz together. I'd love to just be a fly on the wall in your conversations. What are we discussing yesterday? Well, we were discussing where we should go, what the best vantage angle would be to look at my new billboard in the shopping center. So obviously we had to look at what,

should we go straight ahead or should we go on level three? You didn't even know where it was. I didn't know. We had to find it. That was a fun adventure. That was a fun adventure. And then when you saw it, was it amazing? Careful now.

It was a billboard. It's good to be on one. Didn't I look cute? Sure. The doorway is right where your breasts are. Don't say. It is, right where it is. Boops felt wrong.

Did you even bring it up yesterday? We're a TV show. No, he didn't. That's the first time I'm hearing about him noticing my busies. What he said? Oh, it's a good billboard. It's fine. He's like, no, you know what he said?

Oh, there you are. Thanks, man. Now, let's go to lunch. Yeah, yeah. Find me my shins on. We should put you in front of that with a sign that says I'm the girl on this behind the billboard with an arrow and just film it and see if anyone noticed. So will you come? That's fun.

That's fun. You'll come film, man. You'll come fill that. This is becoming a regular Tuesday thing, is it? Yes. In anticipation of the dips. Is it? I'll say that very.

Very. Very quickly. Yes. We're going out every Tuesday. I think you should. Every Tuesday I think you should. I can't wait to be on our adventure, obviously holding hands and skipping. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then see you and Babs out there on and I supping. We just, you know, we're going supping this afternoon, actually. Because when I think ducko and Babs. Yeah, yeah. We just sup together. I think sup. We don't speak. We just sup.

No, see, that's why she'd like it. She could just be like, let's enjoy the peace and serenity. Yeah, yeah. You can, you know, it's a bit of a workout, your arms. Yeah, it's good. Ticks both boxes for you. It does. It's a bit of fun.

So anyway, we got shot at our dips. There was a point to why we go into this. I can't remember. So we went and bought a new cereal. Oh, you did that yesterday? It's fresh, man. It's fresh. Oh, you're in the inner workings of the dips now.

I am. I feel like I'm on the dips outer. Oh, you want to come next week? No. No, but then it's weird because Babs isn't invited. It's two or four. We can't do three. That's okay.

I don't need to come. Oh, you're busy supping. You got a supping. Did you want to suck with me or were you going to? Yeah, maybe Well, that's a no See, you've got to drag and buy the year, Ducko That's how I can...

It's the only way can make it from Shy Guy Jess and Ducko I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. Sigh Guy Dips I'm so excited I want Shy Guy's funk. Yep, because you join a lustrous company

It is the favourite, everyone's favourite time of the week It is Shy Guy Dips. Shy Guy's got many skills. Yeah. company at lunch. One of the... Oh, that's up there, is it? It's up there.

Good on you, Shilard. You know why? Because he's an enabler. Should we get chips? He's a yes man. Yeah, yeah. He won't say no. Do you want your own source?

Yeah, absolutely. I know you want your own source. I was like, great. Should we rob a bank? Yeah, whatever you want to do, Jess. I reckon, I reckon. Put this Richard Nixon mask on. He'd take it.

Follow me. But one of the skills is not describing things. Horrible at that. So he's going to try. He's best. Give you a series of clues. If you can work out the series of

cereal he holds in his hot little hands today. Not only do you win an unopened box, you win a whole bunch of JD merch. Swagger merch, fridge magnet, giz bit, all the stuff. You go in that pool to play for something very exciting towards the end of the year. Yes, you do. So 13, 10, 60, we need first cab off the rank, because first clue is... Two words. Doesn't get much better than that, does it? It's a dozy. It's a good one. Two words.

131060. Remember, you call in, you get that clue plus another clue. And you never know what I'm going to accidentally slip up. Because I was there at the moment of purchase. Oh, goodness me. Maybe I'll tell you where we were. That could be another clue. Jess and ducco. Jess and ducco.

I reckon producer shy guys having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My muck, my muck. Shy guy dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy guy's box. How good this. Box brothers.

You feeling peckish this Wednesday morning? Well, let's send a box of cereal your way. You just have to tell us the one shy guy has in his hot little hands. this morning. We go to Haley. He's called in nice and early. Good morning, Haley.

Good morning. How are you guys? Haley. I mean, we're dipping, baby. It's our favourite time of the week. How can be bad. We have heard this cereal today. It's two words.

Two words. You get us. No, Haley, pump the brakes. Don't come out of the gates with wheatbecks. You get a supplementary clue. And you know what? Because I'm in such a good mood. It's not weak mix.

It's not weepics. Shy guy. Give her another clue, please. Haley, there is a lightning bolt on the box. Oh, big lightning bolt. Haley, going to need you to pivot here. What do you think, Haley? Two words, lightning bolt.

Oh, God, I don't know. Oh, geez. Remember off the beaten path as well when we purchased these ones. That's right. Yeah. 13, 1060, if you think you do know, remember, you get more clues as well. People frantically going to their pantries looking for lightning bolts.

Haley, we'd love to lock something in. Please don't say we picks again. Oh, um. Special K That's two words It is two words Could have a lightning bolt But it is not correct

A K could look like a lightning bolt I like the way It was a good pivot from Haley It really was Aaron Good morning Good morning Aaron

We've heard it's two words There's a lightning bolt It's not Wheatbex or special K You get another clue though my friend There's a brand name version of these Aaron that have three holes in them.

This one only has two. Such a huge clue. That is magic. You're just feeling happy today? Are you just looking at the time, man? Time. Aaron? I like to lock in neutral brain.

Oh, you're just, Aaron, you're flirting with it. So what Aaron's done is name the brand name. The three-holds. Kellogg. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. You've named what this thing is ripping off. You know when you say poor man's cousin.

This is the rich man in that relationship. There's Milo, then there's Activite. That's right. You know what I mean? That's right. Okay. There's Saltana brand. Last week we had Brian and Saltanas.

Yep. This is the area we're playing. Jamie on 131060. You've had a few big clues now. Shaga, give Jamie another one. The box is predominantly brown, Jamie. Okay, geez. It's a two-hold neutral grain.

Jamie, what is it? My young fella thought it might have been lucky chance, but I don't think it is anymore. It's not lucky charms. Did you want to have another? No, is that the guess? That's the guess. Sorry, to be fair, technically, that's his young fella's guess. Yeah.

But Jamie didn't feel like he had another one in his back pocket. He didn't feel like he. I felt we were going to be uming and a Ring for a while. That's right. We've gone further away. Let's see what Zander's got. Good morning, Zander. Hello.

We've heard it's a two-hold version of Nutra grain. Another clue for Zander. Good source of protein and iron. Oh, iron is the big one takeaway there. Is it PowerGroon? Yes! Zanda, are you an Aldi shopper? No, but I've stopped there in the past.

Okay, well, there you go. That is Eldie's answer. Have you had Power Green? No, I can't say I have. I wonder how it tastes. Shagga's going to give it a taste test on there. A box is going to be on its way to you. You've got a thick big box coming your way, Zander.

Well done. Thank you. And a bunch of other stuff as well. What we need from you, Zanda, to add to our collection. Collection. Hi, my name's Xander And I'm so excited I just won shy guy's box

Box imperative All words must be spoken Okay, rolling And take it away Zanda Hi, my name's Zander And I'm so happy I've just won shy guys That was 99% of the way

I love the enthusiasm though I love that you're happy Yeah can you just correct him Jess I need you to be excited Zander Hi my name's Zanda And I'm so excited I just want shy guys box Take to Zenda and action

Hi my name is Xander I'm so excited I've just won shy guys box Oh yes On the weekend Did something fun, never done it before We have some friends who are getting married at the end of the year And they basically are trying to choose between What wines to have at their wedding

Oh my love this So they have to supply the alcohol They're supplying at their own wedding Yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I think they're getting like the yeah They're getting the wine Sure sure

So they went to a bunch of different wineries, and they got, like, a bottle from each, and they invited a bunch of people over and made, like, a sheet on Canber of, like, what the wine is. And if you like it, love it, hate it, whatever, maybe. There's like four options. Do you want to drink this at the wedding? Well, give it five stars. It was fun because we had that, plus, you know, a bit of Mayfield worst chicken. So we were full of chicken.

This is a hell of a night. It was a day. It was a day time. Obviously, because we've all got families. We were allowed. That's even better. We can go home and sleep in our own beds. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was a fun day. They brought flow along. She was behaving or drinking wines, whatever. However, they got no closer to what wine they should have at their wedding. Because by the end of it, you know what wine tastes things like anyway? And there's no smelly air to come and be like, the oaky turns of this one, farewell. And I imagine the pores were a little more generous than you might have gotten at a cellar door where it is half a sip to obviously mitigate you getting blind. And if you didn't like your wine, you just pour it in the glass of the person who did.

So all of a sudden, like people, I was liking all the wines. And knowing you, yeah. You're like, oh, I am a friend to all wines. I enjoy that. I enjoy that. I enjoy that. So by the end of it, like, I got to the point I did not remember what wine I was up to. So you weren't filling out your little piece of paper.

I lost track. And then I'm drawing like my own circle square in the middle of like good and great where I'm like, yeah, it wasn't great, but it wasn't good. It was okay. I don't want to give it all the stars, but it deserves a couple. So we all get on it. It's a good afternoon. But I barely remember finishing the tasting. By the end of it, they're like no closer to what wine they want to select.

for their wedding. The purpose of this, not only if they probably spent a bit of money, because obviously they had to acquire all the product, was to actually make some decisions. Like, all right, well, what do your plans this weekend? Are we going round two? That's what I said. Should we do more?

Like, why not? Because they literally paid for food and they paid for wine and they got us all plastered that everyone left. And they're like, well, now we don't know what to do. And the wine that they did really like, because he told us after, this is the one I really like. I think a few people didn't. Oh, no.

So it's gone against the grain of what he was leading towards. So this is the issue. you when you go to the wedding later in the year or whenever next year and it's like hang on a minute I didn't pick this wine come over here we're going to have an argument about this Morgan I can't make the wedding it's over New Year's and we've got family stuff happening up north

Oh hang on a minute so you were still involved in this process well that's kind Get your two cents We're good friends with them you know what I mean but it was also like I was going rogue so I'm not going to be there I think you don't care This one What's the most expensive

Jess and Ducco I wanted to run you through something I know you've been married now, 2021, we got married the same year. Yeah. And a couple of things maybe didn't go to plan for your wedding. They come up every so often. Just the comedy of errors that you and Morgan were dealt.

Yeah. Not only COVID times had forced you to cancel and delay three times. Three times. And then the day was cyclonic winds. Yeah, it was meant to be married on a beach. It was hectic rain. My dad got trapped in a lift. That's right.

Had a medical episode firefighters had to come attend to him. It was just a couple of issues. maybe meant not the ideal day you guys had planned. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to run you through a wedding that I was very lucky to be a celebrant for over the weekend, because you're in good company. Better stories come from challenging wedding days. So this amazing couple, where do we even start? Let's go with, it gets to about 9 a.m.

And what do you know about brides makeup and what time it starts usually on wedding days? Usually the least ranked or the last ranked bridesmaid has to go at 6 a.m. and take a bullet. And they start very early. So it gets to about 9.30, 10. Makeup artist hasn't shown. Oh, no. Panic.

Bride checks the emails. She'd booked her for the wrong day. Oh, dear. First issue where she sees that. So I'm not due to arrive till about one year. And I'm getting texts and screenshots in like the celebrant chat group being like, there's been a call out for your wedding out at the venue. Make-up artist, we need a makeup artist.

I'm going, I wish I could bloody put on some foundation, but I'd love to help. I don't, I can't get out there. So that's issue number one. Another one of the issues, one of the vendors went to the wrong venue. So again, they're meant to be there at a certain time. The run sheet says they're arriving. Where are you?

I'm here. Where are you? You're at the wrong place. Third thing, the groom was doing an entry. Oh, yeah. On dirt bikes. Great. He's a big rider.

His little boy is a big rider. the groomsmen are all writers. That's fun. But one of the groomsmen, not a writer, he was going to be in charge of his music. His phone is connected to the Bluetooth speaker. But the issue is, the way to summon the groom was going to be a phone call. When your phone's connected to the Bluetooth speaker, you can't call because the call's going to come through the Bluetooth speaker. So he's trying to text being like, go now, go now.

Please, right in now. They need a flare game. They come way too early. We had to send them back because no one was ready. That's when they've seen them sort of come and they're, no, pretend. I know the whole thing was meant to be a big surprise, but... They're here, the boys on dirt bikes. Everyone, I'm going, look forward.

Also, I mean you say someone fell. Eyes forward, eyes forward. It's about 36 degrees. Everyone's in full sun. The grandpa has a go at me before we've even started saying, why'd you make us sit down so soon? I went, it's not my fault. I'm running to the run sheet. You're running on time.

But things don't always go exactly to the minute. He's in a full tucks. He's getting upset. Of course a grandparent. It's always a grandparent who go rogue at weddings. I pissed off the granddad. Oh, God. And it's so funny because the granddad's brother's going,

shut up, mate. It's fine. It's not her fault, but he needed to take out his anger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then this is probably the kicker for me, and you tell me where you think it ranks, if it happened to you.

We get through it. It's wonderful. I'm packing up my gear to leave. Photographer taps me on the shoulder and goes, can you stay? I said, no. I've got the kid waiting for me. I'm done.

What's the problem? The MC hasn't shown up. Oh, my God. It wasn't a friend or family member. It was a professional vendor. Really? Hasn't shown up. We can't get onto him.

Can you stay? And I went, what I'm going to say? No. I can leave them high and dry. Obviously, you bill them for that. Extra. Well, the invoice will be coming. But I was like, oh, right, no.

And I'm getting a bit. What, that's so unprofessional. How could the MC not show up? So then we find out had a heart attack on the way to the venue. Oh, my God. How about is that? So it wasn't far. out. Like, he got on to the bride the next day and obviously was very apologetic.

I had a heart attack. Heart attack on the way to the venue. What? Do you ask for a doctor's note in that case? Can I just see medical certificate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just see recent history? That can't have been another.

That's a good call from you, Shiloh. He's not getting paid. I'd imagine there was a deposit. Because after the makeup artist issue, the bride then starts, berating herself, freaking out. And I'm like, babe, I'm here. Did you? I'm a good feeling. Did you emce in the end?

No, I'm ced in the end. The whole wedding? No, I did the first. first part, and then tag team the lead singer of the band. She took over. So what did you say? When you were opening Life AMC, did you try me? Would you like, this is unprecedented?

The other guy, Gary didn't show up. I oscillated between, do I tell everyone what's happened? Because these people have now dealt with me in the scorching hot sun. They're probably so happy to see the back of me. Here I am again. Popping up at the reception. To be honest, we coordinated with the band. We went, let's go straight into the bridal party entrance.

I got their names and all that jazz. A little blurb about them and read. Or was it just very straight. Well, this is the issue. Like the Pride had written a whole roast thing to pass on to the MC. It was meant to be a big. And I went, oh, I don't have any of that information. I'm just going to have to go, all right, here comes shy guy and babbs.

Here comes Duckle Morgan. Wow. Yeah, yeah. But it was just, again, I want to say a comedy of errors, but there was a heart attack involved. So not so funny for him. Yeah, yeah, that's wild. My initial thought, when you were telling me all this pre-heart attack, I was thinking, well, maybe after she paid your fee, she just had no money left for any other vendors.

Vendos who didn't show up, there was just none book. Jess and Ducco. Hey, welcome to Wednesday morning. 7.57. We're close, mate. We're flirting with it. Hey, yeah, $10,000. We're tickling it. Oh, my, tickle, tickle, tickle. That feels good. That feels good. Are you ticklish? I actually...

Nah. No, I'm not really... Are you shy a guy? No. Give him a tickle, Jess. Give a little tickle matter. We pleasure. Oh, babes, watch this. This is going to be fun. Remind me to tell you about the hug. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle. So yesterday when we had our date, Duccoe, as soon as he arrived, because he was helping me out, I went straight in for a hug, it was as awkward as all hell. No, it wasn't. It was rigid. Yes, it was. It was rigid, but as we were leaving,

the words were about to leave my lips, you've hugged me once, or at least I've hugged you once this date. You don't need to do it again. Before I got that first word out, he opened his arms. He opened his big wings. And I got in. And I'm a great height. I nestle in right under the pit there.

It was very much. It was so nice. What a day show. It was the first time I haven't initiated. It was very nice. Actually romantic, to quote the great T-Swift. Okay, slow down. Slow down.

Yeah, you've lost him now. Anyway. Before we get to our bucks, had a real sign of age last night. Oh, no, creaky. Something that we got frustrated about. Morgan and I, we were watching a show on Disney Plus. There's only murders in the building, right?

And it's just like one of those easy sort of half an hour shows to watch. So you put on, it's like, don't feel like anything else put that on. We get on and we share a Disney Plus with her family. So there's like... When you say share, you mean Ward's paying for it? Yeah, I mean, her family pays for it and we latch on. So you've got like her parents profile, her profile, her brother, her sister. Now they've also, I think, given the password perhaps to maybe one of her sister's friends, whatever.

But we come on and the show's not popping up. And we're like, wow, where's the show? I'm going to go type it in, put it in. And there it is. And we're like, oh, someone has watched. Oh, no. Someone has gone ahead and watched the episodes. And they have not, like, they've gone on our profile and watched their episodes.

I was going to say they've dipped into your profile. So they've whigged out your algorithm. There's five eps out or six eps. They finished it. And now we've got to go find where we are again. And I was like, I got my phone. I was like, oh, to stuff, stuff. I'm texting your parents.

Who has, who's jumping on our profile? Because were you. even at the end or the start of a new episode or in the middle of one? We're at the start of new end. Oh, you're at the start. But to remember which one. So exactly, right? So we're blowing up and I'm like, oh, this, I'm pulling my phone out texting.

And then we're going through the description of each episode. And then we realize, oh, no, we're up to date. Oh, with you guys. It's just hasn't, a new episode hasn't dropped. Is there anything more? And we're like, oh, instantly we're both like, geez, that got that escalated quickly, didn't it? Is there anything more? I'm going to change a password.

Sorry, boomers. But is there anything more? but is there anything more boomer than flying off the handle before you've got all the information and then going... As I was drinking my sleepy tea, I was like, I hate... I just wanted to unwind. Jess and Ducco in the morning.

Jess and Ducco's 10K Alfa Bucks on your end. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions. We'll start with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. of course we come back if there is time.

Now we are playing for $10,000 our player today, Emma. Good morning, Emma. Good morning. How are you? Oh, couldn't be better. Emma. I was going to roll off the tongue. Better Emma. What brings you to the show today, Emma?

What do you want to spend 10 grand on? I would love to put it towards a deposit for a house for my daughter and I. And some Christmas presents. Love that. What's the top of the daughter's Christmas wish list? Ooh. Oh, look, she's seven. So she's well into the lunch.

Labibos and she just got her ears pierced, so she wants some diamond earrings. I don't know if we'll go diamond. I get us some big studs. Oh, I love that. What are the boo-boos? Oh, you haven't seen the Labibos. There's these funny. Oh, Dachho, they're horrific. They're these awful little scary-looking dollies. Would you say like covered in fur? Emma, is that fair? Like, they're all covered in the fur and people put them on key chains. Oh, yeah. They look like a little, um...

A little gremlin. Gremlin. Attached to, you know where you put that? They look evil. On your expensive handbag? Like a decoration. Is this the craze, is it? Am I missing something?

You're very late. Oh, am I very late to this? Babs is out there thinking this is so funny. Bats, when would he have ever heard of a Laboo Boo Boo? I've sent articles. But it is a craze. And the rip-offs are called Lafoufus. Oh, God.

Okay, well, Emma. Can we get Jess and Duck on the Bubo's? Okay, well, now that's thinking. If I win 10 grand, I'll buy you both a Labibu. Give me all the boo-a. I want to put a labubo on my, wherever you put them. On the nappy bag. On the nappy bag.

All right, Emma, let's get your daughter a new laboo. Yeah, biboo. God, I wish I could tell you your letter was L for Labubu. Where one later, it's M. M for money. Money you have to spend on Labubu's. Okay? Gosh, okay.

All right, your time. We'll start after the first question. You're ready? Yep. Starting with the letter M, or we need you to name, a fruit. Uh, mango. A six-letter word. Mustn't.

A musical. Uh, uh, pass. An international city. Uh, Moscow. An adjective. Um, pass. A type of cheese. Pass.

A periodic element. Um, mercury. A phone app. Uh, pass. A colour. Uh, mo. A. Beauty brand.

Oh, geez, out of time. We did get four ten. We've got ourselves about four. No. Oh, God. Nolabubu for you. It's so much harder when you're actually on the phone. Nice.

It really is. Let's go through a musical. It could have been Mamma Mia. Oh, of course. A six-letter word. Would you say mustn't? M-U-S-N? No, that's not right.

Yeah, I think Marvel or Magnet. I was going to say, I thought you were saying like mustn't, like must-not. But I don't know if we can take. Those would have a fairfired. I don't know. That's a grey area. I had a question mark. But anyway, an adjective could have been mysterious, a top of cheese, mozzarella,

a phone app could have been Messenger, and then a beauty brand, Mabeline, or Shago's favourite, Mac. He loves Mac. He's a Mac boy. The staying power of that lipstick. He can't find anything better. Oh, yeah. Hey, look, you don't get the money, Emma, but you do get a Wonderboom play.

You can bring the party anywhere with Ultimate Ears Wonderboom Play. Oh, wow. I don't even know what that is, but great. A little mini speaker, Emma, you stuff that in you. Stocking. Yeah, you're learning about the big of speakers. I'm learning Labibos. It's been an educational segment.

Hasn't it just. Thanks for playing, Emma. Have a good day. Thank you. Have a good day. Thanks, Emma. We do play again tomorrow, $10,000, $6.30 and 8, as we do every single day. We got that co-for, a double pass to see Mr. Lewis Capaldi.

We are going to send someone at 9 a.m. today with those tickets. You just have to get involved in the show, and you have a chance next. Are you a choker? Have you ever joked? And who saved you? Who saved you? Because you're not going to believe. A baby.

A little kid. A child at a playground. That's right. Yeah, it makes me wonder what I do in that situation. National treasure this bloke. He is. Jess and Ducko. 13, 1060.

Have you choked before? Have you saved a choker? Or have you saved a life? Have you saved a life? Have you stepped in? You know what I need? Hold on. Jesus is working.

Enrique. The fray. The fray. No one knows Enrique. No one knows Enrique. What's the fray? The fray. How to save a life.

Enrique would be the superior choice. Absolutely. So. Where did I go wrong to love? Come on. Come on. It'll get there. Trust me to be worth it.

We're asking 131060. No. We're asking 131060. Now get on Rieke. How to... Sorry, we'd have time. I would have loved to. You're all the phrase song.

I love that song. It's a great song. We should play that in several of you, Dean. I agree. No, we should play on Riquet. Anyway, the reason we're talking choking. And saving and lives is because... And the fray.

And the fray is Nick, the Honey Badger Cummins, former rugby union player plus Bachelor. No one knows him as a rugby union player. That's how he... That's how he's Brennan Butter, the Honey Badger. They know him as The Bachelor. The Bachelor... Is he Brutton season?

Yes, but he's the Bachelor, Ducko. That didn't choose a winner. Yeah, that's right. The two ladies were left standing there. Yeah. They were both rejected. That's right. Never before in Bachelor history has the Bachelor not...

It's a rock star, isn't it? Amen. Sorry, I don't like either of you. Brittany Hockley has gone to do amazing things. I can't remember the other chick, but still, he made waves. He made waves. So he's also made waves. He's got three kids now. I didn't realize he was a big family man.

He was in Melbourne at a playground when there was a lady distress because her child was choking on a lolly. She couldn't get it out. She didn't know what to do. Cue Nick Cummins. Here's the interview of him on the Today Show this morning talking about the situation, but then I'll tell you what he actually did. Kids all having fun and see Bronwyn setting up a birthday party

and just doing her thing and I was just pushing the kids on the swing and then I just saw Bronwyn running over and there was a bit of commotion and a bit going on and yeah it's just turned up Johnny on the spot mate anyone would have done it but yeah it's just a pretty serious and we got it done

he's a national treasure he is he loves it yeah yeah saving saving a life but he said Johnny on the spot and yeah Anyone would have done it. This is what he did. He comes. He smacks her on the back.

Doing the back blows. He realizes he's not coming out. So he grabs her by the ankles, like lifts her upside down and then starts hitting her on the back and dislodges it. Do we know how old the kid was? I do not have that information on my hand. I mean, that is unbelievable. So you use gravity for him, like to his benefit and then continuing the back blows. Continuing to hit.

Three years old, she was. Jeez. And that must have been so frightening for everyone involved. Can you imagine? the mum having to run around being like, I can't do it, can someone else help me? And he's able to get it done, then realizing, oh, that's guys kind of famous. So apparently the dad went back to the house to grab an Eski, because they were at the park for a while.

So the daughter's dad left, just left the mum's like, I'll give them this lolly, this hard-board lolly thing. It's birthday party, we've got treats around. She sucks on that, chokes. The dad's not there. The mum freaks out. No one knows what to do. That's when he comes in and does it.

Unbelievable. I always think, now, because I've done a CPR course, but I always think if my child was genuinely choking at her age now, what would, like, you would melt. You're about to start solids, aren't you? You just, like, I always like, geez, you panic. Absolutely. And you just hope. Because you have to hit them hard. And even the CPR, it's hard. It is hard. Absolutely. I remember being so distressed. We did the same first aid course. I think I want to have been seven months pregnant. And I just, it was too, it was so overwhelming.

Yeah. But all I try and remember is, I know what to do. Yes. It's in there. And I'm sure it would in the moment that knowledge comes out and you kick into You're kicking to gear. But yes, it begs the question, have you been in this situation? We'd love to hear from you. Or have you been the honey badger? We'd love to celebrate you. You know, I told you, like a couple of months ago when my daughter had a

febrile seizure in the car, it was her second one. I was driving. Oh, my God. Absolute panic. Panic. What do you do? Run through the red light, rip it over. And the only thing you can do is get them onto a soft surface.

But I remember screaming. Can somebody help? me. And this woman, God lover Fiona, I think about her pretty much weekly, runs over and kicks into gear and ministering first aid, calming me down. You need someone there who's not attached to the victim or whatever, right? I think that's what it is. And you just need that presence of mind to help you get through those moments. And it's such a human moment where someone can step in like that point, like Honey Badger was able to do for this mom like Fiona did for me. I wouldn't think to like, I think the back blows, but I wouldn't think to flip upside down.

I didn't get that in my first age. No, I didn't know that. I didn't know that's a thing that you could. It makes sense with gravity, but. Totally. And if one thing's not working, trying that, helping that. Yeah, yeah. Calm.

Cool heads, what you need in that situation. Incredible. So, we would like to know, have you saved a stranger? Have you had to step in? Yeah, have you had to do it? God, have you been on the receiving end? Yeah. Were you choking?

Have you saved a choker? Have you saved a stranger? Choking on a tortilla once more, God. That's because you don't. It's because you don't chew, mate. No. Angus was like, eat the guacamole. Like you were chips.

It's just like a pelican. Just gone. Where'd that go? You're not wrong. We learned today you can't drink from an open water bottle. I'm an enigma, ducco. Don't try and work me out. 13, 10, 60s.

Jess and ducco. Have you saved the life? Have you been saved? The ultimate act of nice. Isn't it? Saving a life. Remember that time I saved that larger boy in the ocean who was not doing well? Do you remember I've told that story?

Absolutely. Remember the time I saved you after your mum called me? Well. He's dislocated his shoulder. Can you go get his towel off the soft beach? I said, I can do that cake. I can try. I am in the middle of making me lunch.

But for your boy? Can I eat my rap, then get him? Rap. Yeah, sorry. Or what planet would I have been eating a rap? Yeah, I know. This is a candy pasta. But yes, it's the ultimate act and we're talking about it to celebrate the heroes who walk amongst us.

Yeah. The latest, Nick the Honey Badger Cummins, who I must say, I don't know, about you, Ducco, haven't heard from him a lot. No. Like, he was sort of the face of tradey underwear for a bit after the Bachelor fiasco. He was on the Bachelor, Tradie Underwear is a rugby player. Obviously, he's a superstar in sport, but... I don't know what he does now.

He's got a partner in three kids. When the hell did that happen? Geez, you blink and you miss it. I know. You blink and you pop out three kids. He saved a life at a Melbourne playground. So there was a kid choking and the mum was upset. He basically comes, back blows, doesn't work.

Flips her upside down from her ankles and then back blows and it works. The dad, it was there, but had gone to get something from the esky or get an Esky crossed the road where they lived. I imagine that you come back and the pandemonium. Like surely they called an ambulance or something, make sure the kid's all right, look her over. It's like, what's just happened? And also, sorry, are you Nick of the Honey Badger Cummings? Yeah, yeah.

Why are you with my child? It's a wild story. Crazy. But we want to celebrate you. Anonymous, hello. Hi, how are you? Excellent. You have been the Honey Badger in this instance.

You've been the hero. Yes. What happened? Look, the Humble. She's humble already. Yep. What happened? So I was taking my eldest stepson who was 16 at the time and my youngest stepson who probably

would have been about five to the shops and we drove past a sporting field and there was Oh no, anonymous, you've cut out. Oh, you there? Sorry. You drove past the sporting field? Yep. And I basically the one of the girls was on the ground having a seizure. and I put her into the recovery position

because the two friends that were with her were freaking out so I put her into the recovery position I put something in between her teeth so that she couldn't swallow her tongue and was kind of screaming out for someone to call an ambulance and to come help and then another person pulled up on the side of the road and he happened to be an ambulance officer

and he helped me and for about five or ten minutes or about ten, 15 minutes we waited for the ambulance and the ambulance came and she was okay. And then I got back in the car and my elder stepson, he's like, you just save someone's life. Oh, what an act for them to have seen like this amazing, you know, stepmom just kicked into action when she was needed.

Yeah. That's amazing. Good on you. That's, yeah, it's wild. We got a Drew on 13, 1060. It says you were saved by your teacher. Yes, that's correct. We were having a Halloween party in our classroom.

class when I was in year four, and all the kids were just eating a bunch of candy, and I started choking, and my teacher ran over and gave me the heimlich, and I spit the candy across my desk and hit the girl in front of me in the face, and my life was safe. Wow. Do you remember what the particular candy was? Like, was it a chewy thing, or just, like, rock hard? It was. It's a candy that's really popular in the U.S. during Halloween called Candycorn.

Candy corn. Yes, I bet you you can't look at candy corn the same since. No, I can't, can't touch candy corn, can't smell candy corn without thinking of Miss Peters who saved my life. Shout out to Miss Peters. And the homelick maneuver too, you know. Yes. Wow. I imagine teachers all have to be very up to date with that stuff.

You'd have to be. Do you know what the amazing? You would never nowadays, Ducko, 2025, you're not having Halloween parties with shared candy. Oh, all the allergies and all the issues. So that's a whole other time. Jess and Ducko. My husband ruined the first date night. we have been on since before we went away on professional development.

So, what, we went to Italy in July, and we've just not found the time, just us too. You know what I mean? But last Friday, Ducko, we got, who do we get in? Someone to babysit, purely. You got your friend Kate. That's right. That's right. Thank you.

Thank you, Kate. Because I know, because you told me about it a few times. You're excited for this date night. I was so excited. And this is the thing. You know me? I'm a celebrator. birthdays, anniversaries.

First time we kissed. First time you looked at each other. The anniversary of me moving in with him. I will go out for dinner. But we haven't been able to do that. And yes, I blame the kid. So the Friday date night, we weren't celebrating anything. It was purely just to have some time, us too, and have a beautiful meal.

And he booked it and organized Kate to babysit. It was exceptional. We roll in, we're looking at the menu, and it was a French place. You have been before. I got some recommendations. from you, and you know me, I do go quite, I get quite excited, and we ordered half the menu. Now, I've never had... What did she say?

What did she say to my show again yesterday? Oh, I'm so sick of rolling out of restaurants feeling full. Yeah, I need to remember to order less. My issue is, with even that in mind, because I mean, I blame Angus here. Yeah. Because he freaking knows everyone. We get... I'm not complaining that we get looked after, but they start bringing crap over with an order.

Oh, God. Is that on the bill, though? Sure, you're checking that? Yeah, 100%. I'm checking that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time it was on the bill, and I had to be like, I didn't ask for a round of limoncello.

Take that off, thank you. Rude. But we order, oh, it's our first time. We're excited. We want to try a few things. And they say, oh, the menu's all for sharing. So we go ham and we order a lot. Yeah.

But then the chef, obviously, seeing us, sends over one scollop. Now, I think he knew that I don't eat seafood. The scullops at this place are good, too. I don't know. if Angus did whisper it to someone because he knows, don't order seafood around me, but they brought one over, and Angus ate it, and I sort of went, go you good thing, I'm proud of you.

Like, he's not a huge seafood either as well, but he got the little fork and he went down the gullet, and I sort of went hot, man, you're so adventurous, I love this for you. But then, the chef sends over, parfei. You know, like liver patte. Oh, yuck.

Very quintessentially French. Yeah. Now, it's a decent. It doesn't loggar this thing. And I go... Log of liver patte doesn't do it for me. I'm like, I didn't order that. I feel no obligation to eat that.

I hate wasting food, but I didn't order that. Angus feels this obligation. He goes, well, I've sent it over. So he eats three quarters of this thing. And I'm like, okay, that whole adventurous side, I gave you a thumbs up for the scallop. It's waning with the liver pattees. No, thank you.

Yeah. And then we tip over the edge, ducco. Do you know what sweetbreads are? Yeah, it's bread that's sweet. No, it is an absolute misnomer. It's called sweetbreads because the word pancreas on a menu probably wouldn't sell that well. So it's not sweet law? It's not like sugar bread or anything.

No, they've literally made up a name for this thing. It looks like you've got, it looks like you dissected a brain. It's got this weird pinkish color. It's got this weird marbling texture. And he sends it over and goes, Thought you might like to try the sweet breads. Have a look at this. Sounds nice.

It's a culinary name. Yeah, it sounds fantastic. See that? See that the raw? It looks like the raw. That's what comes out, man. It looks like raw chicken. That's exactly what it looks like.

It looks like brain to me. That doesn't look edible. Oh my God. And again... That's what it looked like. It looks like literally uncooked chicken. That's what it looks like. And I know what sweet breads are

because obviously got my finger on the pulse, watch enough cooking shows. And again, and again, Angus goes, well, they've sent it over. I better eat it. And I genuinely want, well, you'll sleep on the couch. Way to ruin. I thought, you know, first date night we've had in a while.

Who's to say where the evening would have gone? But I got so grossed out. No, no, no, no. I know where the evening would have gone. No, that's where it would have gone. Too much food. You're too full. You pass out on the couch.

Don't act like anything else would have happened. You would have been gassy and you would have been full and you would have passed out. No, no. Well, now we'll never know. will be dug her because this stupid boy ate the sweetbreads like a zombie because it looked like flesh man

he looked too I was like I'm sorry let's take everyone behind the scenes You do this every time I asked for a grab You didn't tell me when to play it I was like look we get two grabs I thought you'd get it like when we're talking about body parts

How would I get that this is the grab that I've never heard It wasn't laboured It just says Angus ate 1 and 2 solos What are we talking about? about Angus eating something. I thought you're going to say, like, Angus ate something. It's going to be like a sound effect of him eating, not... No, because it gave...

What is he even that audio? It was giving zombie. Like, he's eating a bloody... I'm sorry, I was meant to put together that Angus eating, the grabber never heard or seen. That was a zombie-related reference. Pardon me, for thinking you could have got that. Anyway, he ate pancreas. It's disgusting.

It wasn't even brain. Have it looked like brain. It made sense in my head. Yes. Jess and Ducco. Short week. Feels good to be here. We've got Lewis Capoli tickets on the show every day this week.

That's right. It's a co-fod. Call the Fame of the Day. You just need to have contributed on the phones. Thank you to everyone who got involved from 6am. Yep. Look, there was an unbelievable story of a woman who pulled over, ripped the car over with her two stepkids in the back to save a girl who'd collapsed.

She wanted to be anonymous, which means we can't call her back. Can't call anonymous. Because she's anonymous. Yeah, she's a non. So we had the wonderful contribution. A shout out to Miss Peters. Peter's. Who saved a kid's life.

Drew called up. He is here today because he was able to shout out Ms. Peters. He got heimicked. Got Heimlich by his fourth grade teacher. So Drew, you, hey, if you want to reach out to Ms. Peters, take her to Lewis Capaldi. Because Drew sounded American. Yes, and he did say it happened in the States. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But still. Who's to say she hasn't come over to? She's probably listening to us on the listener out, which is what anyone can do. as well, if you missed any of the show. If she can get here by December, Drew could take her to the Lewis Capaldi show. Wouldn't that be nice?

I think it'll be lovely. They could go together. They could go together. Hey, I won these tickets because I told our story. Yeah. Come with me to watch a little bit of the survival. There's only one person I could see taking a former teacher to a concert. That's you.

I don't know why. Mr. Petuner and I told you were trying to catch up next time I'm in Melbourne. Yeah. I could just see that. Oh, Miss Papalado, my English teacher. Pappellas will get a run. Paps. very formative. Did you have a teacher in school that you don't always think about that

you can credit with. They were a big staple of my life. They set me up for good stuff. Yeah, yeah. A couple. Miss Cameron was good. You want to take Miss Cameron to Lewis Capaldi? If you had the opportunity. Probably not. How many people are above Miss? I still call her Miss. Hey, Miss, you want to come to Lewis Coppola? How many people are above Miss Cameron in your list of people you would take? They'll be my wife. Some friends. I'd possibly put Shagai up there.

This was like six people. She's not out of the running. Shagad would be above her, but she'd be just above Babs. So, you know, that's where it's sort of sits. And do you know what the issue is? Shagai would say no. Your wife has to look after your baby. This camera's looking good for this.

Shagga and I go to Friday's Live next week. Yeah. Fantastic. What are you going to wear? Jeans on a nice top? Oh, jeans are a nice top. Yeah, always. You wear bold cats?

Yeah, I think so. Bald. I hate people who do this. You said bold, like the font. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like, B-O. Bald caps. Like, for Pitbull, Mr. Worldwide's going to be out on. We've got more tickets next week, I believe, for Friday's Life.

Very good. Someone read the memos. I didn't know that. I've had a few emails come through. I've had a few emails come through the last couple days. Oh, how many Pipple songs will we play then? Oh, geez. Well, I wore a bold cap at my sister's wedding recently when I did the Pitfall parody.

Yes, you did. I put that on. Did you bring it home? Did it make it back in your suitcase? I don't know. I can't imagine you taking that off after your intro. Yeah. And then what, putting it in your pocket?

Like, where did it end up? I don't know. Did you rip it off and throw it into the crowd? Yeah, chicks in the front row rassing for it. Take it, take it. They were throwing panties at you. Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy.

Take me. It's my wife out of there. Where did my sister's wedding. It was my brother-in-law's grandma. Like, stuff it. Bev, get over here. Beth. Let's go to the Port-a-lose, Beth.

Give me everything tonight. Bev. They were nice porteroos too, thank Christ. Spacious ones. Excellent. Because you know, Bev, she needs room to move. And she's... Keep going about your brother-in-law's grandma.

We can use the disabled portal to because she's got that sticker. No, I stopped myself, but I said it anyway. So you get the good parking And you can use the disabled toilet That's what they say it pays to date all the ladies You get the good parking I mean you might break a hip But you get all the perks

Parking at Westfield is easy now I'm just got to navigate her Zima frame I'm so good at putting it down and up now In the cup Click of a button Smooth You keep that thing well greased Bit of WD40

Oh yeah The ground fight on those things now The technology is amazing We're wheels. You look after, Bev. God, you're good to Bev. Oh, no. She's lucky to have you.

She's not awake yet. She's still asleep. Oh, she's going on her for a second nap. She's on the same schedule as your kid. Oh, getting to 9 a.m. Time to be a second nap. I've got the prayer parking for my child and I've got the disabled parking for Beth.

And they both like the apple puree. The little pots. Anyway, enough about my brother-in-law's grandma. Let's get out of here. Louis Capaldi tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye.

Hello, what are we talking about? Angus eating something. Pardon me for thinking you can put two and two together. Jess and daco. That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new MacCrispia has arrived at Macas. Try it today.