Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Pound the alarm

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

We debut a new twist on Shy Guy Dips, Ducko puts his parents to work and Jess' dad fires up over a coffee order!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho rangers here at the cafe. Jess and Duggo. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall to power. Reliving the day yet. Podcast, fuck yeah. All righty.

On the show today, talked about craziest thing your boss made you do or craziest thing you had to do at work after some bloke made his team sign NDAs for the upcoming Christmas party. Yeah. We had like six people call, but only one go to air.

And shy guy said the others were not appropriate. Not appropriate. Yeah, not appropriate for broadcast at that time at about 820 when we were doing it. Yes. So you did ask, hey, could you text it through so we can relive them or at least revisit them in the podcast?

Has anyone done that? No, but I'll just tell you them. Okay, great. So God's knows one and I know one and the others, they weren't that good anyway. Okay, sure. Storytime with Babs and Shy Lord. Who didn't make it to air, Babs?

Don't name them. They were going to put their name. want it? Yeah. Well, the one I wanted to change that. Oh, mine didn't matter. So, can I say her name? Shannon said, I don't even think it. Yeah, yeah. Shannon called and said that she used to work, it must have been like a retail store or something. And some guy had gone into the change room and did some things to himself. And it went on. Enjoyed himself. Yes. Right. So I've always wondered people who do that sort

of stuff. So it's like, sorry, did you get the, like, was it a clothing situation? It was a fitting room situation. It was a fitting room. She said it was a change room. And apparently it was all over the Oh my God. Yeah, and her boss was like, you have to clean that up. That sounds like a kink thing, right? Yeah, she was like, why do I have to clean it up? Anyway, she's like, and then he handed me a bottle of handy andy. And a cloth, I hope.

And Andy and me cleaned it up together. Yeah, and I was like, oh, Shannon. That is a pretty funny product to then clean up. But also, like, if you were a boss, no matter who it was, then you'd be like, well, that's, that's you're doing that. Absolutely. I'm a manager. Whoever found it does it. Shagar, you used to work in retail.

Yeah. Did anyone do nonsense in the change rooms at your place? Not that I was aware. Yeah. And I definitely didn't clean anything. That's whack. Gross. Yeah.

For what, like 18 bucks an hour or something? Yeah. Back in the day, retail days. Yeah, that would have been so bad. Shy guy, what's your one? So mine was anonymous. I can't remember her name. But her boss made her do a line of cocaine and then suck his Willie.

Oh, gee, that's way worse. Sorry, were they in a relationship? I don't know. I didn't ask. I said, thanks for your story. Well, that's horrific. Full knowing that we won't be out. Holy hell.

Sorry, she called. She called, she was viby about it. I was like, man. Okay, so she's not, it wasn't like. Could have been making it up for Oprah tickets. I don't know. That's a hell of a story to make up for Oprah tickets. Well, you know, it sounds like.

This must have been like 20 years ago. I think it, well, this person did sound a bit old. Maybe mid to late 40s, so I'm going to guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that it was acceptable then. Just the implication made her. That's awful. I don't love that.

Yeah, that's why that. why we couldn't air it. Yeah. That one makes sense. That's a fair call. Yeah. The change room giz one. You know, that's where it was floating with.

Wow. You know, love that the rice cookers wanted to volunteer that information willingly. That's amazing. What people will call and willingly tell us is amazing. What were we expecting with Crazy Boss stories, I guess. That's a great point. You know what I mean? I was thinking like devil wears Prada, like the shit that they never half the way,

whatever the name was in. I mean, get the laundry and not go to the lawn. I guess we did use the word crazy. We didn't reverse engineer that enough ourselves, did we? No. I mean, earlier in the, we could have worded it up to be. Because isn't it funny? Even the bloke who is the genesis of his story, the Melbourne boss, like signing an NDA, it's

not crazy. Like it's odd. It's odd. It's a bit left of centre. True, actually. So maybe, I mean, I love that. That's what they call to tell us. Yeah, that's why.

Clean up someone else's jizzington. Spunk. Would you quit? Like, I don't think I'm doing that. I don't think I'd clean it. I don't think I could. And what's the punishment to not, like, as if HR's calling you and being like, you disobeyed a direct request from a manager.

Yeah, you know what he wanted me to do? Clean up, geez. That is not in my job description. That was advertised on Sikh when I started at Cottonon. You know what I'm saying? You've gone with Cotton On there. I have gone with Conno. I'm in, like, a Maya where there's like multiple shops in it.

And they're there in those changers. Yeah. I used to work at Maya, and they do have their own bathrooms in Maya, usually. Did you ever see how to do the deed or anything like that in changes? room to? No, not in. See, that feels a bit fetishy, doesn't it? Like, that public thing. Yeah, yeah. Not at Maya. So we, I went to...

Not at Maya. I had to do... David Jones, though. I had to do SponCon the other day, in a Maya. Oh, yeah. But wear the clothes they wanted me to try on. They were put in the men's department. So we're in the men's department, but the women just had a rack for this particular brand. So to try them on, we had to go to the change rooms.

It doesn't say specifically these are men's change rooms, but it's in the men's department. So we're in there and as we walk in A bloke behind us goes Oh can I come in as well And it's like yeah it's like we're not going in the same Changeer but he went I'm only trying on a shirt Like you felt the need to tell me

What do you think about the change rooms where it's just like a curtain That doesn't I prefer a door I prefer a door too Yeah I like a door a curtain to me It never fully shuts You've got the cracks on the sign And then people for some reason don't respect a closed curtain

As much as a closed door like they think Is it just shut? And so they kind of peek or you can't knock on a curtain You can't knock on. And then even when the ladies come around being like, hey, going for size, I don't know who they're talking to. So I'm usually quiet. I don't think they're talking to me.

Hey, sweetheart. You in here? Hey, yeah, put the hand through the curtain. Hello. Yeah, yeah. Is anyone in here? Just like open the curtain slowly. What's your protocol, if you are trying clothes on?

Let's say it is just a T-shirt or whatever. It's the wrong size, but there's no one like right there to say, hey, can I get a medium, please? Oh, yeah. Will you walk out fully, go get it yourself or try and go get the attention or put your clothes back on? Put my clothes back on. I do too. Put my clothes back on.

Go out and then almost like start again. So funny. I walked out the other day in a full like top and pan combo. I went these in a department store. Yeah. So no one's right there. So I literally had to walk around the hole. It did.

It does feel like. But I kind of think that's better. And shoeless because I didn't put my shoes back on. Yeah. I didn't want to fuck around. No. Putting my clothes back on. But it felt wrong.

Yeah. Like I'm working a sweat up in these clothes that I do not intend to buy now. Probably a smarter way to do it. Yeah, I just couldn't be bothered. I just got awkward. I just got put it back on. I go like, I do the same thing. It's a whole effort. You're going to, like, tie your shoelaces.

Yeah. And then I won't try on the size up. I'll just presume it's going to be fine. And then you get home, you go, actually, this shape now doesn't suit me. Yeah. Yeah. What, yeah. I hate the changers.

I don't like it when the shop attendants or whatever loiter and you can tell her just loitering and they're like, oh, that looks great. Yes. No. Hey man, there are some, they do that now. They don't put the mirror in the cubicles. Yeah. You have to walk out.

It's like, I don't want to engage with you, thank you. When I went to Connor? He was in Connor. No, white, yeah, Connor, Connor. They were only in person. It doesn't matter. Yeah. The change room didn't have a mirror in.

Forces you to come out and I had to look like a dick in front of the other. Checking yourself out. School kids getting ready for their formal. Use this grown man in Connor. I was like, I wish there was a thing in here. They're like, what school are you going to? Yeah. Then you make a bad choice because maybe it's

Impulse if you get awkward. Yeah, I'll just get it. And fix your lighting. Yeah. I'll fix your lighting. Yeah. Tough times. It's hard navigating change rooms.

Change rooms are on my 4U page because I saw a really cool change room at H&M in Dubai. Okay, well maybe you want to go there and check it out. What made a change room? It sounds so sad. It does sound sad. It is sad. I'll see if I can fight it. It's worthy of me.

I could see you going to Dubai just by yourself. It's like a thing. And then you select the scene of what you want. And then there's, like, screams all around it. So that's what you look like in a nightclub. That's cool. That's what your outfit will look like in the nightclub. Oh, so you can put yourself in the context.

Like the room is all screens. Yeah. You know, H&M, Dubai if you're in town. Very cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see you've got to Dubai on your own. I've been to Dubai. It's great.

Have you ever done an overseas trip solo? No. I could see you doing that. Me too, just a little cultural experience. And then just pulling out of his phone, taking a photo or someone going, I enjoyed that very much. Yeah, see, it's funny you say, I need friends. I can't imagine you being a great.

team player. Like, everyone goes, we're doing this and we're doing that. You'd be like, I want to do my own thing. No, I go with the flow. I can see him rolling with it. I can see him rolling with it. See, I don't think he likes much. So it would be like, I don't want to do that.

That's why I roll. It's why he just rolls with whatever he says. I'll be like, I'll be like to go to the hanging gardens of Babylon. I'd be fine to go on a holiday and just not leave the hotel. Yes, it's got a good view. That's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. It's got a good view.

He's just, he's jerking off that much. Oh, yeah. He's the guy in the shanketry. It's furious what he's doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want that off the record. The stamina he has built up is just through the roof. It's all callous.

They've got a holiday to do that, but. Red. Nice to change the scenery. Oh, is that why it's so long? He's actually squeezed down. He's made it long over time. You know, when you roll out dough? Yeah.

He's needle it out. It's gotten that thin, but it's long. This is called best physics, man. Good point to show you guys' mum who's just catching up on the podcast. She's slowed down on the podcast. Because of this stuff. She started listening live. But she's changed her habits.

What the hell? Ask her why and see if she's ticking a box. Is it Q or TSL? Make sure she's on for the whole freaking thing. Because then that voids it. You've got to pretend to listen to other people or why it avoids you. All right.

We've gotten too into until we here. Enjoy the show. When you wake a wake up, wake up, it's Jess and Taco. Stop what you're doing. And listen. You know, I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up for you. I'm not that easy to take.

Yes. Anyway, oh, yeah, poor butthole. I ain't got to explain. Ducco. What did they look at me when I'm in the nude? And they go, oh, the room is archery here. Got him going insane. Yeah, that guy.

But all that he got C, C, C, C, C. Um, yeah, good show. Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. Yes, it is. Right on 6 o'clock. Hey, everyone. Welcome to the halfway mark.

Welcome to Wednesday. Yes, halfway for the week. Yes. But only 22 shows left in the history of Jess and Ducco. Which is very sad. Everyone's like Ducco, we've got to grab for the first break. It's called 22 shows left. I'm like, what's it going to be?

Is it going to be audio of like a memory? Are we doing 22 memories left? No. No, it was just a song that I could have found in songs. Yeah, but this is a surprise piece. I love it. Tomorrow's going to be. Oh, 21, 21.

What do we know? I don't know any song. Oh, I put that on our list. That might be better than... Also, we do like a countenet of like memories. We'll decide what we're doing. Jeez. We're going all out then.

That's top 10. 22 memories. That's a lot of memories. Okay, fair. How are you? I'm good after that. I'm, like, cut me better. It's really drilled in that there's 22.

22 shows left. Yeah, I know. And, well, Babs is outside, preparing our Dulce ice cream. That's right, because we were telling you, with the run to Christmas, five weeks left till Christmas. Yeah.

Technically six, but we're on air for five. We are changing shy guy dips to shy guy licks. Yep. Because we've got ice cream machines to give away. Yeah. So Babs, what have you got going on out there? She's walked off. Yeah, yeah, she can't hear it.

Tell us how loud that thing is. Go for it. It's pretty loud. So what do you do? You're making the ice cream right now. Oh, it stopped. Yeah, I am. The machines mixing it all up, making it like an ice cream consistency.

Is that what Shy Guy's going to lick at 7.30? No. No, this is what we're going to give away. Okay. You're going to give away your ice cream. No, just the machine. A very new one. So Shy Guy's licking an ice cream you'd know.

He'll lick it on air. You've got to work that. You get the machine. You and I Jess are tasting this concoction they're making. I like that. What flavor ice cream are you making? What are we got? This one's Strawberry Nesquick.

And then we've also got a chocolate nesquick. I used to punish strawberry Nesquick as a kid. No, I've never had a Nesquick. Oh, man, that was so good as a kid. Strawberry or chocolate. Oh, I used to have so many. What's the difference between Nesquick and Milo? Uh, is the same.

I think Nesquick's probably sweeter. Oh, okay. I would say. But it's the same. It's a powdered something. Yeah, yeah, it's the same. You meant to add to milk. All right.

Well, strawberry, okay. Bring it on. Strawberry to strawberry ice cream coming up for the team today. I can't. How's that? Oh, well, you've got the all clear from the guts. My power's good now. Bring on dairy three, seven a.m.

And I'm not gluten intolerant either. Ah, well. Put some bread in there, Babs, he can handle it. Give me all the things. I'm good. So we're giving one of those away, which is exciting. They're valued. How much they valued at?

They're pretty good. 300 plus, wasn't it, Shagoy? 4.50. Yeah. They're not cheap. They're a good machine. They're great for summer. Well, thank you to our friends at Tfell for hooking us up with that.

We'll have one of those a week to give away. Yep. Don't worry. You don't get this used one. This is for us. This is, yeah. You get an unopened. Babs have you noticed she's like really making it hers

so she can have dibs on it? A hundred percent. Now, can I just clarify, have we unplug the fish tank to plug that in out there? Because the fish look like they're not well. They're both working in harmony. Oh, well, that's a nice indictment. Yeah, that's really nice. The Dalchi will work in harmony with your fish tank at home.

Excellent. I'm looking for, I can't wait to hear, shog I got licking. Oh, mate. Did you practice your licks last night? I did. With who? Who were you licking last night? I was going to say myself

But that's not funny either That got weird You got those rooms removed Well that's good Thanks for being here Yeah yeah Okay good That's exciting

That's on the show today For a world first Absolutely shy guy Licks We've also got tickets to see Oprah Oh that's right She's coming down under And we're going to hook you up

With tickets to her show That's our call of fame You've got to get involved We've also got Alpa bucks On the show 10K It's 7 o'clock And 8 o'clock My parents are in town

I'm going to tell you about their arrival. I felt a change in the stratosphere. When we were in the same postcode, I felt, the Alan Ducketts are here. Oh, yeah, they're there. I came to your house yesterday, visited your wife to collect something, and I literally was like, Kate and Chrissy? And I said, no.

I wasn't even there. No, you weren't even there either. I was at the gym. For a part of me, I was like, where's do you going to come out and say hello? I went, I assume he's not here. Yeah, lunch. I was at the gym. Mom didn't tell him to the other.

I just came over. I was like, oh, why did you come on all to you? It does feel funny texting your wife. I don't know. Like, she's my friend without you, but I also'm like, where's that going? Is she, though? Hey, did she tell you what Pam did? Oh, yeah.

She said, Pam, gone in your car. I'm going to send you my bill. Yeah, got to send you my bill. She said Pam got it so excited, jumped in your car. I was walking around like, all right, where are you taking me? Open the boot to take back the bassinet. Pam, straight in. I went, sis.

I love that we've got this relationship. She's hot and cold with people. Yeah, yeah. So I loved that. That was a real tick for me. When you're in her gang, though, you're in her gang. That very much felt like that. She obviously just wanted to escape.

the house of the child. So she was like, take me wherever you want to go. She's like, I'll go in this tiny car. Let me in. I'll sit in the bassinet nicely, please. Please take me. I did. Morgan told me I was funny.

That was very sweet. Yeah. Then what she would have said her and got horribly wrong. Morgan panic. She was, isn't she you're in the back? No, no, you're fine, you're fine. It's all good. It's all good.

Hey, up next though, we've got to talk Gen Z and takeaway food. Again, another phenomenon of this generation. There's correlation between Gen Z and what they're doing with takeaway food. Mm-hmm. Jess and Ducko. Jeff and Ducco. Do you need to unpack the eating habits of people now that working from home is such a big thing, which I thought we were steering back from and getting people back into the office.

Yeah, I thought the rhetoric around, well, we're paying, you know, rent or a lease on an office space. Everyone get back in to justify having said office space. This large space. I thought that was what happening. But apparently people are still working from home. Apparently it's still a thing. And more and more people are getting, particularly in Gen Z, are getting takeaway delivery while they're working from home for lunch. Okay.

So even though your kitchen is. right there and that kind of lentils has been sitting in the pantry for three years. You bought the ingredients on a Sunday. I'm going to meal prep. Here we go. I am going to be so fit and healthy. You go Uber Eats is just too convenient. I want a burrito. That's not the voice of anyone in particular, I'm just saying. I love the bit of Guzman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never, I just

never punch. Like, I get Uber Eats at times, but not all the time. You know what I mean? Like, you've got to be hard pressed. Yeah, a little bit, I think. That's good. I think that relationship we take away is good. Yeah. I think growing up, I don't know if you were the same and your family, Friday night Chinese. Oh, yeah. Like that was the takeaway.

You looked forward to it. Front takeaway. Now it's so convenient. I think it's lost a bit of the sparkle. Yeah. You know, if you can get it on a Tuesday, I know. It's lost the magic. I'll order it direct through, if they have like their own delivery driver, though.

Yeah, because it's cheaper. I'm front of the middleman. There you go. You're not paying $6 extra. Yeah, that delivery. For your honey soy chicken or whatever. Thank you. My fitness pal, though, weirdly, has surveyed a generational divide in Australian eating habits.

So half Aussies, 53% are still cooking more often. and eating more balanced meals when working from home. However, Gen Z are ordering at a double rate of everyone else for lunches. So 1 and 3 Gen Z, 30% turned to delivery meals more frequently when they're working remotely. Lunches, dinners, even snacks. What do you mean snacks? I can get, what, like, a boost juice and a protein bowl. Well, you know, you can get things from like Woolies and Coles.

Yeah, you can get from like 7-11 or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pack of Maltese and some popcorn, please. Oh, my God, but what, you're paying $25? Well, I mean, yeah, this is, yeah.

And they want everyone's wondering. I have no money. Yeah, how much are they earning? Genzi is want more money, but they're spending more money on the takeaway. You know the classic boomer argument about, oh, you're just spending it on avocado toast? I think you're spending it on takeaway. Exactly. Not to sound like a judgmental boomer.

But you're doing that. But if you're Uber eating snacks, I'll go for a walk and get some pressure. Get outside. Get outside, babbs. Millennials, 13% of millennials are doing it. And only 7% of boomers are ordering takeaway. Yeah. But that's, to be fair.

That's because I don't know how to get the menu long at. I asked my mum yesterday. They're driving. They're doing a long drive. Well, just share us your location so we can see where you are at all times. Why would you ask her that? She sends me, you know what she sent me back? No, she sent you.

A photo, a photo of the sign that said Newcastle like 400 kilometres away. And I was like, okay, I'll just work out. They're doing like 110 on the highway. She's had to snap it. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Chris slow down snaps that. Do a you turn. I've got to send the, our loving son.

And then sends me, she tried to send us a location, Morgan I tried to click on. It's like, it just didn't work. What are you guys doing? How are you on Mars? How have you sent this? I called them, right? I called them and I'm like, where are you?

Mom's like, oh, we're just, hold on, hold on, there's just a truck, like, they're on hands free. Hold on, there's just a truck coming. Oh, I'll call you back. I'm like, imagine there's plenty of trucks. You're on a highway. Hang on, so a truck was passing them and she didn't think the phone would. Hold on.

I just need to focus. Chris, focus on the road. Hang up. She's the passenger, just confirmed me. Then call me back five minutes later. Sorry, honey. We're about, I'm not sure how far we are. I'll send you a picture.

Yeah, I'll send you a picture. Anyway, 34% of Aussies admit to snacking more often when working remotely. That's 34% in total. So when you're at home, you're snacking or you're ordering snacks. Of course, those chisels are right there. When the cheesels are in the household. 14% of Gen Z report eating out at cafes or coffee shops more often during their work from home days as well. So they might go get breakfast at home

And they might order a go get a coffee out Yeah, I need to take a break, I may as well do that Yes, it must be spending a Motser weekly Isn't it funny? So they'll walk to go get one thing But then Uber eats a snack Oh, don't get this generation You make no sense, bad

You make no sense and you'll never own a house You'll never live the Australian dream Cyclists, what do you want to say about? Jess and Ducko The influencers They've got their finger on the pulse, man. They are the trend setters, hence why they are dubbed influencers. Oh, yeah.

Hot girl and hot boy influences are doing something with AI, and I don't know how to feel about it. Yep. Because I'm all about getting those clicks, getting those views, getting those likes, all right? You do what you've got to do. Yeah, yeah. You've started using edits. Man, I've got to play the player, man.

You know, that's it. No more Cap Cut, because Cup Cut apparently gets punished on Instagram. Very niche for it. For anyone out there thinking, why aren't my videos, doing well, are you using CapCard? Use edits. Anyway, what they're doing now, these influences, they're doing things like chat GPT

and shy guys mate GROC, putting a photo of them into that system and then giving it a prompt like, please add 101 Delmations to my photo. And then it's a picture of a woman walking down the streets of Paris looking like she's being followed by

101 Dalmatians. And not cartoon-esque, these look very real. Like, it very much looks like she's being followed by that amount of dogs. People aren't just doing it with dogs, though. We've got porn stars are top huge horses. We've got people walking through the city with a tiger following them. So there's just all sorts of animals. All sorts of animals.

Whatever your heart desires, people are just giving the prompt to add it to their photo and it looks hyper-realistic. And some people are saying, what's the, You know, what's the difference with Photoshop? Me editing out a blemish or me adding in a cow. Me topless running in a field with the tiger. What's it going to do? What's it going to do?

There was one I just sent you, Ducco, of that hot boy playing tennis, and it looks like a herd of elephants. I saw that. Some people are saying, what's the harm? I've added a golden retriever to my picture. Who cares? And other people are saying, yeah, but when you use that image on your dating profile and you don't have that golden retriever, that's catfishing, that's lying.

So, like, the golden tree run, yes, because, you know, people think the dog's real. But when there's elephants or tigers in there, surely people aren't going, geez, Dave's got a tiger. Dave's playing tennis in front of a tiger. Yeah, I want to hang out with Dave and his tiger. Other people are saying this is really dangerous because seeing the hot boy playing with the tiger is going to make people think, oh, if I see a guy in a tiger with a tiger. Yeah, I put a tiger in love to see it. Yeah, it's me and Flo and a tiger. And you know what?

It looks pretty good. It's very realistic. It's very, I'll just, that was one quick prompt in chat GPT. But this is the issue, Ducko. People are saying, you posting that? Yeah, I'm going to post it. People are now going to see that and go, oh, so tigers are friendly. Yeah.

If I see a tiger in the wild. I'm influencing people that Tigers are friendly. I can pose with it like Ducko did. I could maybe go and pat it. And let's be real, the era we're living in, people are a bit silly. They probably would go pat the tiger because they saw it on social media. Their favorite influencer was hanging out with tigers. Ducko hang out with tigers.

and his baby's in it, and that's all good. And it's all good. So it's quite a slippery slope of where we're going from just adding cute puppies to now engaging with very dangerous creatures. If you think that a dangerous creature is not dangerous, that's just on your education, that's on you. I would argue this is a, Ricky Javius does a bit about this. That's called Natural Selection Duckett.

If you are silly enough to believe that, to believe that, well, this is how we thin out the herd. You know what I'm saying? 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Did you add a target to one of mine? Yeah, Shaggo's adding. I'm working on it.

It's generating. I'll do one for you. It took a while to generate. What animal? I'm probably going to give you. I'm going to give you. Don't give me a tiger. I want something else.

I've done babs with a bunch of elephants. That makes sense. Yeah. She loves them. She does love an elephant. She loves a trunk. Yeah. You are a sucker for a trunk.

Am I? Yeah. Play a lot of. Yes. And Ben. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I reckon you and me should start. Why do you like trunks, you weirder? Jesus. You know your mic's on. I love when the internet tries to help. A bunch of women have got together to educate fellas. Oh, yeah. What you're wearing that maybe one person once said,

oh, you look good in that. And you're continuously wearing it. But the women actually going, no. As if. We don't like that. As if you're still rocking that. Okay. Ill-fitting ties tops the list.

Ties. Like... The length. Oh, like two. long or too short? Ah, well, okay, tell me, Ducco. Not that you're wearing a tie very often. It's not like we work in an office space, but if you're going to a formal event, perhaps.

What is the golden rule with a tie? Where should the tip land? Tip belt buckle. He's bang on. The tip should meet the belt. If it's shorter or, God forbid, longer, you look silly. I make mine just a little bit shorter just because I'm a shorter person. Does it give the illusion of length?

Yeah, sometimes it makes my body look a bit disproportionate. You know, if it's too long. Interesting. It should not be grazing the groin. Says one expert. Yeah, well, yeah. When a man's tie dangles like wet linguine, every woman in the room coringu.

No one wants wet linguine. No one wants wet linguine. Now, this second one, Daco, we've talked about this before. I'm going to have to look at Shagai here. Skinny jeans. We are removing skinny chains. But they look regular cut on me, though.

From our repertoire. That's why I'm aware. That's not too. They don't look like leggings. I was walking behind him the other day and I was like, this is a thin-legged man. So you're right, even a boot-cut jean is probably going to look skinny on you. That's fair.

It's a shame, though, because skinny jeans were all the rage for so long. Or even just like, they became skinny into just fitting jeans and now it's baggy. And to be fair, jeans aren't cheap. No. They're not just like, I'll just go pop out and buy a new pair of jeans. Like, you're looking at maybe 80, 90 bucks. And finding a brand and a type that. fit you.

And also understanding sizes. Yeah. Oh my God. They're all different. Every, like, different brand. Exactly. Like, I'm a pretty stock standard, 12 around the waist, but I go to look for jeans,

and it's like a 41. I'm like, what does that mean? It's like 28 to 45. I don't. And then the loose fit, like, there's loose, and then there's like you're going to be taken away in a parachute loose. And I can't keep up. I know now we are dipping into women's as well, but like,

I think high waist it is out. I can't wear low rice. I cannot. But you've got to get that whale tail out. Evidently. Let that low backtack come to. But do you know what happens when you get the whale towel out? What's that?

And I don't feel good. I don't want that. Doesn't stop Tammy Lynn. It won't stop you, you know? Tuck everything in. Now, what do you make of this? Tucko? Baggy Jim shorts.

Unless you're on your way to literally play a game of basketball, I don't want to see baggy gym shorts. I'm not sure what the alternative is, though. I mean, I reckon they're talking like basketball shorts. Like the three-quarter shorts. Oh, like an Adam Sandler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wear a short.

Yeah, like most, you'd see most Australian men, I would say, in the gym, wear a fitted gym short. Like, like, LSKD and those brands are more sort of fitted. I'm thinking the alternative to the gym, like the baggy gym short would be like a legging. I don't want to see blokes in leggings either. I do see some dudes go in, like, boardies to the gym. Okay. But like, to me, it's just like.

Because are they hitting the surf straight away? Maybe, you know. Two birds, one spot. I roll in to my boys and go, sorry, I was just catch. I was just in the green room. Now I'm about to train. You're just tracking a bunch of sand in there. Yeah, yeah.

Nally. Um, I know you have, you flirted with this, Tucker. You flirted with it. Okay. Okay. You haven't gone to the dark side yet. Okay. Crocs. Oh, yeah, I don't have crox. For things men wear that secretly repulse women.

But girls love crocs too. No, no. So who's judging this? Yeah. This is the beauty about these lists. Everyone seems to love crocs nowadays. Exactly. I know you said it.

You tried on your wife's just quickly to duck out to do something and you went, they can't very comfy. Yeah. Cargo shorts and graphic teas. This one. One woman says this is the uniform of a man who has given up. Unless you're Jack Black, you can't get away with this. Cargo shorts. Remember the three-quarter cargo short, the camos?

With all the pockets. That's just a man who has a lot to carry. Yeah, even the elasticity, like down near the knee. Yes. And then finally, again, we must gaze at Shagai. There we go. Flashy jewellery. Oh, as F.

Chunky chains, man. This isn't chunky. Yeah, man. You got a bit of bling going on, buddy. You got that FACC. I'm not too change. Where do you stand on guys wearing rings? Because that's very in.

And I'm not talking wedding rings. No, you're talking about like jewelry, like genuinely, like almost costume jewelry. See, I like it. I like it. Which, again, would be the perfect takeaway of this ducco to each their own. See, I like a ring. My husband rarely wears his wedding ring and he tells me because he does, you know, some manual labour in his job, this and that.

Cool crap, you just don't want to wear it. That's it. But see, I like it. I love him to. I've bought him bracelets in the park. Yeah, so I don't think I could pull off a bracelet. He's never, he's never going on. You've got two watches on as it is.

Yeah, I'm double wielding. My tan lines. What do you want as a farewell present? Would you want some jewelry? Oh, that could be fun. I was thinking getting some sort of engraved, you know? J.D. Forever. Yes.

And then in brackets, shug-eye babes. Yes and daco. Right now, interesting move from Coles for security. So apparently theft and local theft has gone up. Petty criminals have gone up in supermarkets and retail. like a lot. Apparently, Bunnings has revealed they'd put $6 million a year

on tactical security. There's a 20% surge in retail incidents in the past year. Geez, I like the phrase tactical security. It sounds like there's like secret service or something. Well, 70% of retailers are reporting increasing customer theft. Oh, that's sad.

You know, backpacks. Desperate times, man. You do see young people with their backpacks rolling in all leaving together, really, you know, suss. I know, and I get such a busy body when you start seeing security guards

in their high viz. Yeah, hovering. Just kind of walking around, hovering around checkouts or entering the supermarket and start trailing someone. 100%. Oh God, there's about to be a throwdown. What's happening?

Here we go. They've stolen the coal gate. But coal's bringing in a few things, okay? So they're going to get weighted shelves in. So for certain things, basically if you take too much of an item, it'll now, it'll now sound an alarm. But that's not necessarily I'm stealing. I just need to restock on my Mutti.

You should see my shopping list. I genuinely have eight bottles Mutti Pasata. That's too much more tea. But I think you're the only one buying. You're the only one buying Wootie. Okay, so it'll allow it. This is more on baby formula and meat, apparently. So certain items.

Copy that. Like, we're going for baby formula. Sometimes I'm like, just get two or three. Well, yeah. You just need to sock up on this stuff. And if it's on special, exactly. It's like, oh my God, it's $10 off. I will get two.

We go through it. So now they're going to have weighted shelves that will sound an alarm if shoppers take too many of these high value items at once. Just Nikki Minaj pops out, pound the alarm. Rhy-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-G He loved that. Sorry, Jess, that's just... He lost it while he's eating his toast. That didn't even sting that hard if you tell me, I like, I enjoyed it.

But what... That was pretty funny. Will it literally be, like, the whole centre stance going? No, I think it's just that area and then, like, someone comes out and sees you. Oh, the 16-year-old will come out and... Excuse me, sir, you're taking too many babies for me. Excuse me, sir, put the nan back. Shoppers will also be reminded by operating CCTV cameras by

message that plays over audio reminders. Cosmetics will be locked behind display cabinets and other various important things will be locked behind display cabinets and only be able to unlock by staff who are watching CCTV if you want that. Wow. So if I want my, you know, white glow toothpaste, that is a little bit exier. Like 12 bucks. I've got to flag someone down.

Can you please, like Chemist Warehouse with the fancy fragrance. Exactly. Under lock and key. Exactly. I do this at Coles as well. So they're trolling this at a High Point Coles in Melbourne. But apparently it is going to be rolled. that in all coals nationally.

They're not targeting petty criminals. It's supermarket giant is instead going after organized crime gangs. Oh my God. The baby formula bandits. So when the Louvre heist people make their way down under and start trying to nab our baby formula.

Yeah, and they do that. The alarms are on it. Blame the Louvre heist people for anything now. When you see the high security in Coles and Woolies and bunnies. It's changed the way we do everything. You can't steal that bit of timber anymore. Damn you, Frenchies.

Jess and Ducko. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now, we are playing for 10K. Our player is Michael.

Hello, Michael. Dougher, how are you, mate? Happy International Men's Day. Oh, there you go. Is the 19th of November. That is. There you go. Michael, happy international men's day to you.

What are you doing, Michael? You got the boys out for lunch or? I'm stuck at work, Jess. He's working hard, you know? He's working hard. He wants to earn that 10 grand. What do you want to spend the money on? I'll probably go straight at Vegas and watch the nights win their first round game.

Wee, there he is. Michael, maybe you'd pop into one of the casinos and put it all on red. Because red is R. And that's the letter you're going to work with, champion. Perfect. Feel good? That's a solid letter. It's a great letter.

R is a great letter. Are you ready to rock and roll, Michael? I am. I'm ready as indeed. Let's go. All right. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name.

A sport. Rugby. An animal. Rabbit. A non-alcoholic drink. Red Bull. A beauty brand. Red Bull.

A reality TV show. Pass. A adverb. Pass. A fruit. Raspberry. A car. Country.

Romania. An NRL player. Ready to a bus check. A car part? Really near. A reality TV show. You're a good player, Michael. Hey, that was no mucking around.

And guess what? The only two you miss, a reality TV show and what we told you to study. An advert. I said. Adverb. Adverb is anything L.Y. Rapidly, roughly, rarely.

you could have had that. And then reality TV show, Real Housewives or Rupall's Drag Race, probably tougher ones there. Yeah, that is a bit tougher. But, mate, you got eight. You got eight out of ten. Everything else you answered, you got correct.

You were a great player. Mate, did you have a beauty brand written down or something, Michael? Because just stereotypically speaking, the fellas don't usually do too well with that question. Well, I actually, I can't believe I got it to the last one. On International Men's Day, Michael had Revlon covered. You know? I mean, it's one of the bigies.

Mine and Morgan's birthday last year, and I got zero, so I had to do a nudie run in the backyard. Ah, geez, there you go. Well, Michael, you bloody studied up. Yeah, mate. And you got yourself a... This is a redemption story. Mate, after redemption.

Yeah, good on you. Wow. And look, I'll tell you what, Michael. I'm going to give you 100 bucks a spend at pillow talk. How's that? Sensational. Perfect. Get a good sleep on us.

Absolutely. Maybe a new set of towels. Yeah. Nice towels there. Michael, thanks for joining the show. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Jeez, that was a player.

From a zero to an eight. You know, lessons, guys. Anyone can do it. say it again, though, noun, adjective, advert, and verb. I know. How many times can I say it? I know. It does stunt people up. Up next, though, we have Oprah tickets. What? Jess and Ducko.

I'm asking now, tell me you're a parent without actually saying, yeah, I've got three kids. Yeah. What was an incident where you caught yourself going, oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, is this what my life is now? This is who I am. You know, I popped down to Victoria over the weekend. Ducco caught up with some of my oldest girlfriends that we hit the wines, did a couple of wine. tours, beautiful area called Red Hill, great wineries.

Of the five of us, only myself and one of my girlfriends, G, have children. She's got two, and she's kind of in the thick of it, all right? She's got a four-year-old and, like, I think her youngest is like 18 months. So there's a lot going on in G's house, all right? Yeah. But we're doing these beautiful wine tours, and every so often I'd catch G blowing on her glass of wine. So we're doing tastings. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she'd bring the chardonnay to her lips and go, And at one point I had to go, gee, what the hell are you doing? Is this a method of wine snobbery? I'm not familiar with her. You meant to blow. Because it's already cold. I'm swirling it like a maniac.

I've seen people do that. I'm going to swirl. She's like, oh my God, I know I keep doing it. I'm just so in the habit of blowing on my daughter's food. Oh, to cool it down. And any warm beverage. Just so before she gives it to her. Before she gives it to the kid.

It's become that much of a response. Yes. And I was like, Oh, hard relate. I get it. You know, sometimes, I don't know if you get this ducco, you might be at the shops on your own, but you start rocking the trolley back and forth.

Yeah, yeah. The sway. The sway. It's like, it's not a pram. Why am I rocking the eggs and the bread to sleep or something? But it's this autopilot thing you go on. So there's G just blowing on her wine tasting all day. And then the other three girls who do not have children.

I think she's absolutely psychotic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I looked at it and I went, ah, yeah, girl. You're a mum. Not only are you sleep deprived, you are just on autopilot. Completely in autopilot. Blowing on your chardonnay and your trio of pinos. Oh, no, that's so funny.

Yeah, I get with the sway. I do the sway a bit. Yeah. I'm also like, I'm super good at catching things now. The reflexes. The dad reflex comes out. Yes. I'm so even like, I can be on the phone doing something and flows in

and then she can fall and I can catch her while talking, not even, you know, then catch her thing, then she vomits and you feel it and you get it. Well, you know, I know when she's about to vomit. So you can see what she's about to. I can see her face. and you put that there, get the vomit, but just move on. Like protect the carpet and all. I can wash my hands.

100%. 100%. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. So 13, 1060, for Oprah tickets, you're picking up what I'm putting down. Yeah. Those autopilot moments.

Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent. Yeah, you might see them out and about doing it. It might be something you do in front of your family. Give us cool. We'll get you on next. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. Now 13, 1060.

Tell me your parents. without telling me you're a parent. That's right. One of my friends, Jay. She's got two young girls. She's up against it, man. Oh, yeah. We did a wine tour over the weekends,

caught up with the girlfriends, but I kept noticing G blowing on her glasses of wine. I went, I don't think they've served the Shiraz hot. This isn't warm. I know it's a different wine region that I'm like accustomed to, but this doesn't feel like a hot beverage. And seeing an adult blow on something that's hot anyway is weird. Like, unless there's a kid around,

Like, I don't often blow on my coffee to keep it cool. It's legit. So I just, at one point, I didn't want to embarrass it. And I was like, Dave, what's going on there? She was like, oh, my God. Not only is she sleep deprived, she's just so used to blowing on beverages and hot food for her little ones. Yeah. She was on autopilot.

Kept blowing on the wine. Well, remember we did do that, like, does blowing on your food actually work a couple years back? And apparently it actually does make it cooler. I mean, every time we serve the little one and immediately, because I like my food, the temperature of the sun. But every time she's like, too hot, too hot. And then you... Yeah, yeah. And he just gets to be on it.

I'm like, now mine's getting cold. I'm annoyed at this. We can't be having that. Just deal with it, sis. But yes, tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent. Alicia, good morning. Good morning. How are we?

Oh, great, babe. What was your blowing on the wine equivalent? Well, sort of following on from yours, Jess. I have a 15-year-old and my youngest is three. And I still rock. Yes. I'm still rocking when I stand. I can't stand still.

Wow. I just like, I just have that sway of when you have a baby in your arms. There's no, like, yeah, there's no arm movement. Just my legs. Just the sway. Yeah. It's terrible. And I like stop myself and then within a couple of seconds, I'm doing it again. Yes.

I just can't stop. It will activate. Alicia, people probably looking at you like, ah, she's obviously got children even if they're not with you. Or she just got off a boat. Yeah, yeah. And she's got them sea-sick right now. Yeah.

And it's funny because you would have had like a baby now. for years. Exactly. Let's go to Tash. Good morning, Tash. Good morning. How are going? Yeah, pretty good, babe.

Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent. Every single morning, I have a cold shower. I have twin daughters that are 13, and it's only getting worse, even when I wash my hair. Okay. So what you're saying is the teenagers have discovered the bathroom habits, and they're using up all your hot water. Yep, and at a young age, and they've got super thick hair, so they're in there for an hour. They're doing everything showers all the time. Yeah, and this generation of teenagers, Tash, it's not like our day where we were like,

here we go. Not into hair care and skin care. We didn't know fashion. We were all trolls. Yeah. This generation, they know everything because of TikTok. We were all just ugly and just by them. Yes, you've got to get a hot shower when I'm in Sydney.

Yes, you've got to get away from them just to have a hot shower. Nothing is worse than back in the day when you, the family hot water. You'd come in last after your sisters. Absolutely. Oh my God. And yeah, yeah, you were at a house full of three girls. I did. Yeah, yeah.

And we were on hot water out there, too, like on. the property on the property so yeah you would run out of hot water yeah megan good morning good morning uh wrap this up for us babe tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent look i've got a bag that would put mary poppins to shame oh you need an anti-husmean you've got itch i've got you covered you've got diary i've got you covered you've got you've got you you've got you've got everything you need a pad i've got you covered um mate i've got it all so what you call the bag. Does I have a cool name? Oh, look, she's just big.

It's just the everything. It's just big. It's just the everything bag. So you go around with that everything bag. You've got everything you need in there. I like that because any of you the kids aren't with you, all your friends know, Megan's the mom of the group. She's got us. She's got us covered. I want Megan around all the time. You've got me covered, Megan. I've got you sorted. I've got your back. There you go. You do need those. From an it to diarrhea to band-aids. Megan's got you.

Everything covered. Hey, down to business up next. Shy guy licky licks. Shy guy licks. He finally has got his way. He's been whinging. There's no cereals left. There's no cereals left. Well, up next, we're doing ice cream.

He's been out there. I've been watching him. He's been out there with Babs and she's been like trying to coach his licking. Oh, okay. He's like doing the tongue techniques and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. More vocal. Got quite a long tongue.

Because licking, it can be a relatively quiet activity. Yeah, it can be. But we're on radio. So he's going to make it really loud. He's got to make it loud. So shy guy licks to win yourself an ice cream making machine. We'll do it up next. Jess and Ducco

Discover Tiefel's new Dolchy ice cream maker Available now at Tifel.com.com.com. Tisda, taste. Shy guy, Lex. Oh, yes, if you want to win yourself an ice cream maker, how good would this be? For summer, Ducco, it's the festive season.

We're running up to Christmas and our friends at Tifal said, hey, here you go. You know what is a way to make yourselves a sweet tree with our Dolchy ice cream maker. And it's Dolcey. It's a beautiful machine. Now, Babbs is a Shiger.

Sorry, how do you say it, Babs? How do you say it, Babs? Dolchy. Dolchy! Ice cream maker. Absolutely. Mm-mm-mm. Now, we've been toying with Shai dips all year. We've done the last couple years,

but we've been talking with something new. And here it is. It's Shai Guy Licks. It's the same old game you know and love, however, a bit of a licky twist. Because even though we have been playing the same game with different items, Doco, for two years, shy guy hasn't got any better at describing things.

Horrific. So he's going to give you clues. If you can work out the ice cream that he has today. Now, we don't mean flavour. We mean literal ice cream. Like what is? One you could buy at the servo in a box. You win an ice cream machine.

Yep. From our friends at Tfowl and your pals, Jess and Ducko. Now, first clue. Yeah. It's got to be a lick. It's got to be a lick. This is going to be first lick. So, how are you feeling, mate?

You're nervous? It's not going to be very audible. Well, that's on what you've been. Practicing. lick for 24 hours. Here we go. Hold on. This is radio first.

A live lick on air. Here we go. Ready. Ready. Count me down. Three. Ten. Three.

Two. One. Okay. No, that was the most. Two slides and quick. Give us a slow. Lick the length of it. I don't want to lick.

Well, that should be a clue in itself. All right. Put all the pieces together. Go slow lick. Slow lick. Slow lick. I've got my nose All right

First caller We'll get a little bit more information But that's Do I put it back in during the song? Yeah I guess Yep Put it all together, Matt Yeah this is gonna be fun

Jess and Ducco Discover Tfow's new Dolchy ice cream maker Available now at Tfowl.com.com. Shy Guy Licks Perfect as the temperatures heating up, Ducko. I want to make my own ice cream.

So our mates at T-FEL have hooked us up with a bunch of ice cream makers for our run to Christmas each week. We're doing Shy Guy Licks. So I put it back in during the song. He's got an ice cream in front of him. Yep. If you can identify what that ice cream is,

you know, it's available at the shops. I love this ice cream. You do. I do love this ice cream. So does Babs. Oh, there you go. Babes said this will take it. her favourite one in that it's a leap.

It is elite. I gravitate towards that on a hot day. If I go to a servo and I'm getting an ice cream. All right. Yeah. So if you can identify what shy guy is licking, you will win the Tfell ice cream maker, the dolcchi. It's so good this thing.

We've heard the lick. You can also make cocktails in the dolchie. Oh my God, it's got a margarita setting. It's unbelievable. Bab sort of made us a strawberry nest quick cocktail because she forgot to put the cream in it. I think she knows she walked in. She goes, oh, I forgot another in cream. We'll make better ones.

So you've only had in months. Check out the website. It'll help you. Joe called through. Joey. Very quickly. Good morning, Joe. Hi, how you going?

We couldn't be better, babe. We're licking. You heard shy guy lick the ice cream, but you get a bit more information as first called. That would be great. Your next clue, Joe, is the packet these ice cream coming is clear. Oh. Now, I...

Like the rapper. I think it is when they're in a whole box like that, But when you individually buy it, say, at a server station, I don't know if it is clear. Oh, so in the multi-pack? Yeah, in the multi-pack, clear. Yeah. But at a servo, not clear. I don't think it is.

But I might be wrong, but I don't think it is. Joe, put it all together. Easy, Joe, what do you got? Tell us what the ice cream is. Ooh. You know what? You're not out of the realm. Good, good guess.

Yeah, with all you got just then, that's a pretty good guess. Thank you, Joe. No ice cream maker for you. Let's go to Mel. Hi, Mel. Hi, good morning. Good morning. We've heard the lick.

We've heard that the packaging varies, but whether it's bulk or individual, what have you got for Mel? There's two colours on the outside, one colour on the inside. The colour on the inside actually looks like a mash of the two colours on the outside. Oh my God. It's a great clear idea.

Put it all together, Mel. This is the game we've been playing for two years, everyone. He's beautiful minding it. Is it a cyclone? Oh, my God! How did you? You made fun of it, but Mel mailed it. How did you get that?

We get them all the time. And are they in, oh, you get them in the boxes that, is that what you do? Yes, we do for home. That is, I thought we're here for. You just won it. Mel, congratulations. You don't win cyclones because we don't know how to transport frozen goods, but you do win a T-Fel-Dolci ice cream maker.

Oh my gosh, we've got four. children and they're going to be amazed by that. Thank you so much. I can't believe what was the second clue shy guy gave, but just reword that against. That's what, Mel, there's a total of three colors. Two colors on the outside, one color on the inside, but the one color on the inside looks like a mashup of the two colors on the outside. That's a riddle. I felt like I did algebra then. Oh my God. Mel, you were the very first winner of Shy Guy Licks. Thank you so much. You are fantastic. Oh my God. Well, do we get, I think we've still got to get the line, don't we?

Oh, yeah, of course. Don't you reckon? So, instead of box, I deciphered shy guys lick. I feel a bit. I'm so excited. I got shy guys lick. I understood. Yeah, I, I, I decided.

Hi, my name's Mel and I'm so excited. I won his ice cream maker. I'm like Shy Guy's box. Hi, my name's Mel, and I'm so excited I won Shy guys ice cream maker. Oh, Mel. Don't make your own lines here. No, she's fleshing it out with her. Yeah, you've got the maker, but you need to do that.

We can't get, we can't. We can't. We can't. That doesn't feel right. I don't think people would love that. What about, they're not going to get this. I got shy guy's lick. Because that's what he is here. Yeah, I suppose.

Yeah. And then, shy guy at the end, does an audible lick. Love it. Love it. All right. Get ready, shy guy. Okay. Hi, my name's Mel, and I'm so excited. I just.

one shy guys lick. All right, Mel, rolling, and action. Hi, my name's Mel, and I'm so excited. I just won shy guys lick. Yeah. It's so audible. Jess and Ducko. Bit of Ray for your Wednesday morning.

Here breakfast. Jess and Ducko. It's 7.53. Got some feedback for Ray. Oh, yeah. I was humming that the other day, and Angus goes, she'd want to back that one up pretty quickly while it's hot on Ray. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, all right, I'll tweet her. Make sure, Ray, you've got a second single coming pretty fast. We need nothing. Found my husband is the follow-up. Oh, there is. Here is. I feel my husband. He was in Woolworths.

Looking at the cleaning products. Here is. Bro. You've got to write this. Quick, TM. Write that. Have you been writing what I'm saying? Are you writing what I'm saying?

I'm just spitting gold here. That was. Yeah, yeah. You're like disassociated just there. You were hovering above your own. His name is Gary. Hi, I'm Gary. I found my husband.

He is. Hey, we love finding a husband in the cleaning aisle. Hell yeah, you do. That's fantastic. And he looks at you. Ooh, he's gone for the pine line. He's on the pine line. He goes, hi, are you Ray?

And she goes, are you my husband? He goes, yes. Yeah, and that's it. I'm a celebrant. I need a celebrate. One that I can afford. Not Jessica. Don't waste my time then.

Not even Ray can afford it. No. Anyway, that'll be the follow-up song. Absolutely. It should be. Hey, uh, the parents. parents are back in town. They did.

They drove down. God love them. Made the journey again. They were here a couple of weeks ago because they wanted to come to a Melbourne Cup event and now they're here because we've actually, this is the one we'd planned for a while. They're looking after Flo on Thursday night

when Morgan and I are off in Sydney for a very important business trip. Absolutely. That requires you to take the day off on Friday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to see my favourite band or anything. I booked this in months ago. I didn't know the landscape of my life.

We've only got... I don't know how it would look. We've only got 20-something shows left And Ducco's taking a day off. Oops. Yeah. Oh, is Ducco sad to leave? It doesn't feel like it.

No, I booked this in months ago, I promise. Anyway, it's also our first, both of our first nights away from Flo together. Now she's off the boob. She's off their boobie here. Here we go. But mum and dad, I mean, classic, they know for them to drive to where we are. It's about eight-hour drive. With stops, eight and a half, maybe a longer.

It took them, you know, thereabouts nine. They'd just done it recently. They left late, so they were arriving late. and as they get in because they came late as they get in your mom gets out of the car and she

they get in like oh we've made they come down and say hi we brought Pam out to them so Pam doesn't bark flows asleep because it's like 730 at night and we're waiting

and they come by where are your bags oh oh we didn't even get the bags out of the car mum's like oh it's just we just wanted to greet everyone's such a long day I'll just go get my bags

so we go out and we get their bags out mom comes out with six coat hangers of her ironed clothes like dresses and various things.

I can't crumples. She's here for nights and she's not going anywhere. Like, she's minding the child. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, mum, what dinners and lunches are you going to and all these ironed clothes? When they came last time, weren't they landing? Yeah, it was a very short trip. But didn't she say to you like, what lunch have you booked in?

What dinner? How fancy? Where are we doing? Even though we had the Melbourne Cup event. No, no, we've got a young child. We'll stay home for most of it. Oh, no. We only visit every so often.

Let's make the most of it. She's like, this is one of our last time's going to be here. We're excited. And she's like, now we're seeing Jess, what are we doing, yada. Well, she knows I'm a fancy lady. So she's like, I best bring my best attire. And it's iron, because obviously doesn't trust my iron or ironing board. Do you even own an iron or ironing board?

I do. So we get in. I don't know where it is, but I know how it works. So we get in. I really crush their dreams. Because they get in and they're expecting, you know, it's like 30 degrees. Maybe we'll go to a beach. Maybe we'll do this.

And, you know, spending time with our granddaughter. I'm like, yes. So we need to paint two lattices and a wall. because we're selling our house at the moment. So now we're just giving it a little bit of a glow up just so, you know, you can get better money back on it. And I'm like, so I've gone to Bunnings today and I've garnered all the walls.

I need you, you guys are painting three walls with me tomorrow. Oh, I thought you were going to say, so I'll be at work till 10. Make sure it's done by the time I get up. Make sure you do that. Your mom's like, I had a fresh manicure of this trip. I am not chipping a nail for you, loving son. You know what she's like, we've got to go to the beach.

And she goes, oh, I forgot my togs, like my swimmers. And I was like, Mum, I'm 34. I've never seen you swim in the ocean. Don't pretend for two minutes. So what I'm hearing is, shopping trip. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, of course you can say pass. We come back if there's time. We are playing for 10,000. Our player today is Alicia. Good morning, Alicia. Good morning, guys.

How are you? Oh, Alicia. Wonderful for a Wednesday. I mean, we just gave away a dolchy ice cream maker in Shiger Licks. So, I mean, let's give away $10,000 to you. What do you say? That would be awesome. Pretty good.

What do you want to spend the money on? I'm at uni, so I'd probably put it towards study. Which is very boring. No, not boring at all. What are you studying? Paramedic. Oh. Does that mean like to become a paramedic?

Paramedic? Yeah, that's right. Rock on. Nice. Yep. Doing God's work. I'm trying to think of something medical, starting with B, Ducko. But.

Got you. Someone might have an injury to there, but I know who I'm calling Alicia. Alicia's there. Are you ready to rock, girlfriend? Yes. Okay. Brain would have probably also. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with letter B, we need to name. A school subject. Biology. An Adam Sandler movie. Billy Madison. A fashion brand. Pass. A periodic element.

Boron. An adjective. Pass. A non-alcoholic drink. A band? An app. Bumble. A country.

Algeria? An occupation. Can't get a band, but can get Bumble. Hey, got BOR. Got boron. That's it. That's it. A band, I blink, 182.

No, no. Oh, Bumble. Hey, Alicia. Don't worry about it. We got ourselves five. You got half. Some tough ones in there. A fashion brand Blenciaga.

An adjective bright. Hey, man, you said boring earlier. You could have said boring. Yeah, could for an adjective. Non-alcoholic drink, banana smoothie or a black tea or a berry juice. It could have been creative there, I guess, a ban, Blinquin 82. Everything else you answered, you got correct. I know country, you said, I think you were going for Bulgaria.

I think you combined Algeria and Bulgaria. But you know what? I got you. I gave it. I know you, man. We love our paramedics. Yeah, yeah. I got you, man.

Look, you don't get the money, but you do get $100 to spend at pillow talk. Oh, awesome. Thank you so much. You can get stuff for your bed. Oh, there you go. Yes. It all works. It all works.

The synergy, man. Hey? Thanks, Leisha. Thanks for playing. That's okay. Thank you guys. Have a great day, Alicia. We do play again. Tomorrow, 7 and 8 o'clock for $10,000 and up next. More chances at their Oprah tickets.

That's right. Plus accommodation. It's our call of fame. You just got to get involved in the show. We're asking, craziest thing your boss made you do. Oh, Waki boss. That's out. Wacky boss.

Jess and Ducco. 13, 1060, craziest thing, your boss made you do. Where you just... It had you saying... Huh? What? Oh, I'm so close to going. You need links and girth.

If that has ever been your response to some of your boss as I asked, I would also love to hear that story. Yeah, yeah. Marcus Willis is his name. Basically, he lets the office do sort of whatever they want. He doesn't mind if people work from Bali, work remotely. He sits down with all his employees at the start and says, what's your goal?

For example, one said, I want to buy a Jeep, like an $80,000 Jeep. And he said, all right, these are the things you need to do for me, and I'll buy you a Jeep. Shut up. If you hit your KPIs, and these are them, I will buy you that Jeep. So he gives people, you want a PlayStation. Talk about a performance review. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's playing the player, not the game.

He said the Christmas party, though, everyone had to sign NDA. So the whole... Jesus Christ, what goes on on that Christmas party? The whole business has signed non-disclosure agreements because he wants the Christmas party to stay within the team.

It's so funny talking about NDAs. If you're not familiar, it stands for non-disclosure agreement. It basically is saying you cannot talk about this. Ever. Once you sign it, you can't be...

Even like friends and family, right? Like, it cannot lead the cone of silence. So even talking about an NDA, the fact there is one in play feels a bit naughty. It feels naughty. It feels like that Christmas party

would be loose. And it also feels like What illegal stuff's going on. What? We don't want to get cancelled. Or criminally charged. If you don't sign the NDA, you can't join the Christmas party. He's also got a budget for cosmetics.

And it says if you retain all your clients this year, I'll give you money for cosmetics. They have random giveaways. Like you could win a jet ski or a helicopter ride, bottles of wine. How well is this creative agency doing? He must be from some sort of money to get this. Absolutely. But basically, employees are now taking a table. TikTok and posting like younger ones and stuff saying how good this is because they're getting

their Botox paid for plus they're signing NDAs to go to a Christmas party. A hella Christmas party. And if they hit their KPI's, they get a Jeep. No shade to the people organising ours, but we're doing a lunch. There's no NDA required. No, if anything, we get that email saying, this is how you need to behave. That's the cheekiest thing we get, the memo from the boss being like, just refresh yourselves with the terms of behaviour.

Just a reminder, guys. Codes of conduct at the Christmas party. Yeah, God, we used to be a fun. loose office. Wow. It's not much anymore. Have you noticed the alcohol fruit

doesn't have alcohol in anymore? Do we need to pivot and start working at the kill, boring, dead creative agency? Yeah, I think so. I think we might have to. Because these are, this is the way you bond with your colleagues.

Yeah. That you could never talk about because you all signed an NDA. But he said now people, because he's like, you don't need to work nine until five. You don't need to do this. But if you hit these goals, I give you these things. Now people are working bigger hours.

People are wanting to do it. The office culture and vibe is so much more fun. What have I always said? Yeah. You work harder for people you like. You've always said that. Look, that's what my back tag. It does.

Actually, now you mention it, it does mean that. But you still work hard. You don't like shy guy. Oh, joking. Having a laugh. On what planet is he my boss? I haven't seen you guys high-five in a week. It was only because he was outside when I made my great Nicky Minaj reference.

That wasn't high-fifable. It wasn't. It was good, though. Okay, I'll take it. See, he keeps me, treat him mean, keep him keen. You got to do. He knows I've doled out too many high-fives. She's getting a little comfortable.

I rocked up at his house. other day. He did not care for that. No pop-in. But we are asking, what's the craziest thing your boss has made you do or you had to do for work? Should we go to Amanda here? Amanda, yes. Good morning to you. Hey, how I is? Mate, couldn't be better. We're talking about loose unit bosses.

What's the craziest thing you've had to do for work? So, I used to work at a seafood restaurant many years ago in Newcastle, and my job was to go out and scale like 20 fish in near the harbour. And I accidentally dropped one and I went to. back inside and told him, and he said I had to go in and get the fish. From where, where'd you drop it back in the water? Like in the water. I was on like a jetty, yeah. So Amanda, sorry, did you jump in the water and collect the fish?

No, of course not, but I definitely went back in and said I got it. Oh, yes, don't count it. It's not like there's only 19 here. Surely he was joking there, and he's like, let's see if she does it. I don't know. I don't think he was. Yes. Amanda, sorry. What year is this? You had to go. go outside and scale the fish yourself. Doesn't that happen in the kitchen?

It was about 20 years ago, it was. No, but we used to always scale them out on the harbour. We did. That's bloody fresh fish, isn't it? Nothing like I sometimes go to the harbour just to smell the scaly fish. Absolutely. There's Amanda. And then hang on a minute, she's my waitress.

There she is. Hang on a minute. She served me the oysters. Jump back in the ocean. Collect the fish you dropped. You get the idea. It can be loose. Can be weird.

It can be illegal. We'll change your name. Obviously. Things you're. boss made you do, or craziest things you've had to do in at work forward. Love it. Jess and Ducco. We were doing craziest thing your boss made you do.

I do appreciate everyone who did call in. A lot of them we can't air. Shy guys come in going, um, everyone's gone, not even MA 15 plus. Ah, 18 plus. I mean, look at the time. We're trying to have a bit of fun here and people. We are, we normally push the envelope as much as we can push it, but I don't think we can push it for some of these stories.

I'd like to continue doing this job, Ducco. Well, I mean, yeah, I can get them to text in their story and we'll read it in the podcast. Yeah, let's do that, actually. Yeah, okay, Babs, get their stories. We'll read them out in the podcast for the follow-up if you are eager to hear that. Oh, hang on a minute. Is this one, we've got a thumbs up, Babs. This one is not our 18 plus.

This one is not inappropriate. Okay, Jake, you're the man. What do you got? Hey, mate, yeah, back probably 10 years ago, I was a glacier in the city. and we were opening windows just to change the rubber like you didn't have to take the windows out or anything like that

and we're on the 16th floor the window we opened the window the window fell out of the window and hung on by a little bit of rubber over Martin Place Oh my God and so my boss

and another worker had to hold me out of the window by my legs while I dragged the window back up through the hole Oh my God Jake, that's, I mean, I understand you were trying to save everyone underneath you. But was that putting you in quite a bit of peril? Yeah, well, definitely. Yeah, hanging out by your legs, you're not having the harness on.

No, no harness, man. We didn't, the window wasn't supposed to fall. I want to know why you got picked to do that, though. Or was it just in the moment? You were just the one who just reflexes. Look, I was definitely the smallest at the time. Oh, at the time. So now he's got gains.

It wouldn't be him. He'd be a base. I mean, holy up. Geez, a lot of strength in that. Oh, my. Yeah, yeah. Could you have imagine, and that obviously never came out publicly, like no one ever knew about it? Oh, no, definitely not.

Wow, could you imagine if that fell and landed in Martin Place at Sydney? Forget about it. Oh, Jake, that is pretty crazy, but I also don't see the alternative. Yeah. What are you doing? You can't let the window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy, man.

That's crazy. Thank you, Jake. The other ones, we will, so what, we'll get on our podcast. We'll circle back. Yeah, because I'm chago came in, lusted. Well, you know, it's just a bit much for 824 in the month. And this is a bloke who's seen some stuff. They did it at like 640.

Yeah. A bit of a naughty at 6.40. Yeah, okay. So we'll talk about it on the podcast. All right. Up next door, you need to tell me about your dad. Bro. There was a saga that unfolded.

And it's literally taken three days to condense this down to make it bite-sized enough to actually share with you because of how far the lengths my father went to just to get me a coffee. He's a good man. He goes up and be. Oh, okay. We've got audio. We'll unpack it next.

Jess and Ducko. Ducco. What do you got for me? Dads, I just want to give you a shout out. Oh, no. Good dads. They'll go above and beyond for their kids. My dad, he's elite.

Yeah, you love Rob. I got him a mug one year, world's best dad, and it rings true today, as it did in year three, when I bought it from the Father's Day stall. He's got bunyips. He's got a torn meniscus, but man. God, he's straight. The guy's just out there hustling, doing the best for his family.

He's audible groans when he gets up and gets down now. Just, I can hear them from here. His sneezes have been blowing the windows out of my childhood home for the past two decades. I'm surprised his sphincter doesn't pop out when he sneezes. You know, just instantly. But anyway. The concern you have for my father's anus is unreal. Well, he had concern for mine recently.

He did. So I've got concern for his, you know. Rob, if you're listening. Just a couple of dads looking out for one another. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you know I was in Victoria. over the week, and I was visiting some girlfriends, but that wasn't happening until Saturday, Arvo.

So we wake up in the morning. Now, my parents have a beautiful coffee machine. But when there's a guest, even if it's their own kid, let's make a trip to the local cafe. Yeah, or not. Get a coffee. So my dad says, hey, I'm going to go get mom and I coffee. What can I get you?

Now, Ducco, what ensued was, it was pretty much a two-hour journey by the time my dad got home. And I went, where the hell have you been? I've started recording him. telling me the saga that ensued from him leaving the house. Now, some context for you. I like a cold brew. Yeah, you do.

Okay. Now, cold brew is a specific way you make a cold coffee. Because it's not an ice long blacker cover, is it? Correct. And it's also not a ice latte. Exactly. It has been pre-prepared. So that's context you need to know if you don't know the difference between those two things.

I had told my dad that because where they live, it's suburban Melbourne. And it's not happening, all right? They're just little locally owned family-run cafes that I knew my dad would go to. And I thought, chances might be slim. Maybe they don't have coal brew. So I'd worded my dad up. Here you go. Do not accept an ice long black.

They might try and say, oh, we can't do that, but we'll do this. Don't bring me that. Yeah. Coal brew or bust. Cold brew or nothing. So he wanted to get you something. But he's come home and he started regaling me with this tale of, of, it was a About 25 minutes of audio daco.

It has taken me and shy guy. It's taken you guys a week to get this cut down. Bloody days and days. The email threads going back and forth. The team's meetings about this have just been through the roof. Part of what I cut out was him going to one cafe and getting rejected and having to say, no, I don't want a nice long black. So we find Rob at the second cafe.

And this is the bulk of the saga that ensued, just trying to buy his daughter, a little coffee. There's Café Regina, order my two standard lattes, and I looked at the young lady. An almond, but that's our standard, the almond. Cold brew. What's that? And I said, oh, now I've got to explain with a cold brewies. I've got no idea. She goes, that's a nice, a nice long black.

Oh, I hope you shot it out. No, no, that's, I'm pretty sure. That's not what my daughter asked me for. My daughter's come down from the Newcastle. She's asked me for this. Maybe it's different there. I think it is different there, right? No one about that.

But Lady Gaga's coming. My daughter's coming back. Lady Gaga, go, now the guy that's making the coffees, the husband. There's 20 people waiting for their coffees. When's Lady Gaga coming? And then we're all sort of pretending we're dancing, right? Why are you tips? So looking at me, he goes, I looked it up.

I googled it. It's a long, cold, black coffee with ice in it. And I go, look, it's okay, but I'm not taking it. And then I left. Without the cold brew. So after all that, daco, I didn't even get my freaking coffee. My lady and gaga's are coming. So you know how you tell me, you flag, sometimes I get passion.

I get more ethnic. He got more ethnic. He got more Italian than that. And the thing is, like, and Lady Gaga, my daughter from her, Newcastle. Cafe Regina. All of a sudden he couldn't speak English. They're all Italians as well. I'm like, so you're trying to explain.

It's different in our Newcastle. And Lady Gaga, then we all dance. I'm legit. Oh my God. This is what Ducco means when he says, I get really ethnic. When we get worked up, he's dancing at the local cafe explaining, I'm down for my winery weekend with my friends, but she is coming back for Gaga in a couple of weeks.

Maybe we'll try again. I'll go brew at a couple of weeks. See you, Frankie. It's like, it's just a nice to walk away. No, no, it's not on a lot. I'm going to slip on each other across the. Long story short, you've got a knock off it. I got a neck off it.

Enjoy a hit breakfast. Jess and Ducker with you at 855. Just about done here, Tame. That was quite festive. Oh, was it? That almost sounded like a carol. Christmas carol. When will we start playing Christmas songs, you reckon?

On the radio. That's a good question. Because the shops are playing a man. Yeah, I don't know. I think I was in Big W yesterday and there was a, that was a, Holy jolly Christmas. They're getting pumped out. I don't know.

I don't know when we start playing those. When will Mariah slip into our playlist? Shall I go? I don't know. Come on, mate. When do we normally do it? Don't you have your finger on the pulse? Usually in December.

Oh, okay. Good couple of weeks. Very good. Yeah, I suppose you don't want to go too early on that. Well, December 1's the day you're meant to put up your tree technically. That is true. That is true. But, you know, it's been a hell of a year.

We're not lean into the festive fun now. Yeah, we're on the downward ramp out of here to the end of the year, you know. 22 shows left to go, Ducco, but at 855, I think we can chalk this one up as done and dusted. You're taking Friday off, which means 21 of the J-D program. I've got a performance day on Friday, you know, I'm just always honing my skills in. You always are. This training was locked in months ago. It was, it was, so it'll be the trio.

Yeah. It's going to be you through without me. It'll be a taste of the future. Oh, my God. How are we going to play What's the threesome without you? My God, it won't be as fun because, you know, there's only two of you

paying out show, I'm not three. It's much better when there's a pile on. I know, we need a pile on. But if you missed a minute, our podcast does live on the listener up and actually, are we following up on something in the podcast today? If they've texted three, we'll have something,

but if not we'll have something else in the podcast. We wanted to have some contributions on air that were unfortunately deemed a little too risk at. Yeah. So we'll touch on those in the podcast, so make sure you get it after the show today. On Listener, I'll Riving at your podcast, check that out. One of the great shows.

Tomorrow, Thursday, we're back with more Alphabucks, more chances of those Oprah tickets. Absolutely. What else we got on Thursdays? Is it a year of the song? It's a wordy-okey day. Proud of Pov. That's good. A couple of phones we'll talk about in the meeting.

Yeah, okay. And you've got something to tell us. I do, yeah, about it. What I'm doing on the weekend. I haven't told you this yet, and I can't wait to tell you because I can't wait to see all your reactions. That's my favorite kind of story. You can be like, oh. Oh, it's a groaning one.

Is it another colonel? No, but it's like, no, but not in the realm. But, yeah, imagine that. Guys, I'm going again. I'm going again, round two. The first one was so much fun. Buy one, get one free. Yeah, why not?

I'm bringing a friend. Bads is coming too. She needs to. I know, you do need one, Babs. I don't know what to. Yeah, it's not about wants, it's about need. It's all right. I'll help you with your prep.

She's just in the corner. Like, you got it, Bab. I'll be your motivator. Yeah, so she was testing. out the Dalchi ice cream maker, which we're obviously giving away over the next couple of weeks. I didn't get a taste of that strawberry ice cream, did you? I think she polished it off all her sake.

Yeah, where did that go? Well, I kind of stuffed it up. She's been talking about this thing for... He's been so excited and she's like, I'm the expert. I know everything about it. Do you want to read the recipe? Do you want to Google the recipe? No, no, no, no.

Do you know what she revealed? She goes, oh, I've left out two of the ingredients. Even though it says that in the recipe book on the TIFL website, she went by TikTok. Oh, that's where you're on. Tutorials and she mucked up. Okay, I already hate it. myself.

And you got the name wrong yesterday too, but you sent with such conviction. Geez, you actually know nothing about this ice cream machine. Who hurried chaffed to the ice cream machine? And you wonder how your fish got eaten, Jess. Oh, trust me. I don't wonder. I know how it happened. I'm trying my best.

Sometimes your best isn't good enough. But with Ducko leaving us, I'm really going to need you to lift, man. I'm going to need you to step up. There's going to be four blogs a week. Hey, actually on Friday when you're not, not here. I'm going to need a couple of blogs. I don't do anything. Well, you better have a big Wednesday.

You think we do? I'm going to go. I've got to paint a fence and go to the tip. Oh, yeah, your parents are in town. You better put them to work. I'm going to take it. I was like, Dad, I'm going to show you the tip. Dad's like, oh, okay. I'll drive, though. Big wheels. Thank you. Thank you, big wheels. Well, you have fun doing that. Yeah. You have fun doing.

I've got swimming lessons, baby. Oh, Marcus Wings Day. Let's go. What are you doing, Shaw, Guy? Nothing bitter. Yeah, okay. You've got to get through a whole box of cyclones. Yeah, you do. A very busy day, looking at the cyclones. Hey, we're out of here.

We'll see you tomorrow morning. Bye-bye. Bye. Do I put it back in during the song? Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new Machu Range is here at McCaffee.