Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Puss Puss Puss

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

Jess leveraged her 2 year old to catch her husband out in a lie, Ducko built a fence and we ask what went in your mouth!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. This is the Jess and Douggo. Hey, welcome to the podcast. We are just recording this after we had a reptile guy. And you'll hear it on the show tomorrow.

But we had to get blindfolded and touch the creepy crawlies. Try and identify the critter. The lizards and the snakes. You can imagine there's obviously a turtle involved. There's obviously a... Turtle great. Lizard. I hate snakes.

I just don't like them. I can do spiders. Do whatever. Nothing else really scares me. Snakes. And then you got very close to that snake I really like a reptile I like a lizard

I like a big lizard I did request a lace monitor but I think I have met Ranger Mick before and I made the same request and he said the same thing like you wouldn't survive an interaction with a lace monitor they are carnivores

and they'll go and they've got the hell of a claws so he brought in this little little guy with the lizard but yes he brought in a corn snake I mean who would have known that was a corn snake obviously me that thing would it like nearly slid up your vagina God, she went, and I did, I did ask straight away, male or female, he checked it, I don't know, underbelly, said female, I told you, I've been on, I've been on one with the ladies.

You're on heat. I am. That lady that, the charity lady, who I was flirting with, I walked into a BP to pay for my petrol and the literal, the female attendant went, I'm so sorry, you're gorgeous, I just had to say something. What was that? The BP in, I was driving out to go look at for tile samples. No, was that recently? That was recently, man. Literally, she was like, I'm so sorry, you just.

Your outfit, your hair, your skin. I'm just, look, I've got goosebumps. I went, sis, you're making my day. I'll take two twigs, thanks. I'm on heat for women. That's how she got you. I'll take two twigs, thanks. I got her, idiot.

Next person rolls in. You're gorgeous. Oh, I'll get two Mars balls. I'm not even Angus. I said I've given him goosebumps before. Yeah, you might need to be fishing for the other team. Maybe. Yeah.

It says if people are like, what does it say about your personality if you like snakes? This isn't going to be good. Open minded and curious. That is good. Independent thinker. I'm a bit of a sheep, but I can. Come under pressure. That's bullshit.

That's not correct. Respectful of boundaries. Snakes demand a certain respect for space and behavior. Liking them can reflect your understanding of personal boundaries. Ah, see, I think I'm the opposite. Yeah. Rebellious and non-conformist. I mean, I like to march on the beat of my own jump, but I wouldn't say I'm a rebellious. What was the first one?

The first one was a good one. I'll do like fun personality readings if you like snakes. Okay. A more fun one. Sees booty where others see fear. 100%. That's all my backtap means. Has a mysterious streak.

Absolutely. I am a closed book. No one knows anything about me. I'm completely mysterious. Carrey's quiet power. Oh, yeah. I'm really quiet about my power. I don't want this.

Nah, see, snakes, I don't mind. I love lizards. Oh, lizards, yeah. So it's different. Yes, yes. Lizards are a bit more ostentatious. Are you going to go to the reptile park? 100%.

I would really like to, I think we've talked about this before, forcing our children to be into what we're into. Lichia's only two. She needs to be into lizards. I hope I can get her around to this. I want to take Flo, but Flo is too young. She's not going to be. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I want to do? I really want to go see crocs up north. Like, when I saw the crocodile when I was in Hamilton Island, I had that white old crock that was in this poor, poor captive flight in space. I loved the crocs. What zoo was I at recently? Oh, yeah, Corrumban, the wildlife sanctuary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God, the size of the crock they've got there. And you have to look at him from very far away. Yeah, yeah, the big boy. Oh, my God. Crocs are incredible. He was very impressive, that crock. Yeah, yeah, they're incredible. Would you go to the Irwins?

They've got all the crocs. I would actually like to go. Australia Zoo. I'll go to Australia Zoo one day. Is that Brisbane? Yeah, I went in the hotel, like the Christmas holiday. Was one of the Irwin's there feeding? Yes.

Who? It was Robert doing the show. But it was a surprise because they weren't meant to be there. They all came out. Terry, Ben-Dy. If Bob was there doing the show, I'd fucking leave. What? It was not.

It was just like around the time. I want to see Bindy. Bob's busy doing the dancing with a star. So you probably got a couple of months where Bob won't be on. But the Reddard Park has got. Crocs. It's funny. Didn't Ranger Mick say something about alligators.

I didn't think you put those two near each other. Croc would dominate a gaiter. No, what I wanted to ask. That was a strong sense from the young man. Hunters and durries. Like, I'm pretty sure reptiles have a pretty keen sense of smells. One of their hunting things. He's Mick.

He's Mick. Winnie Reds is back. I also appreciated he did say to us off air, if you want to do this again sometime, just give me 24 hours heads up. I'll bring some critters home. He can bring it home. That shocked me. I thought he was saying if you guys ever got stuck at home like you found.

like a snake or a spider, give me a call. I live in, I live locally. Oh, I've also interpreted that. No, I took it as like, if you want a spider in tomorrow, hit me up, I'll bring one on. Well, I don't think we need to. Ducco's saying he's in spite. Would you like a go at spiders? You know what an old radio station I was working out, did this is years and years ago.

They did, I can't remember they called it. Say it's like tomb of death or whatever. You get locked in enclosed space and they like on, I'm a slub giving me out of here, and they put a bunch, one was snakes, one was spiders, and you basically had to last in there for five minutes, or a couple of minutes, I can remember. And if you last you got the cash. And it was people's fears. So you'd be lying in there.

I'd be lying in there, and you guys would release four snakes and they'd be crawling all around me. My issue is, I go, on the shows like I'm a celebrity. Yeah. Do you not just say, yeah, I'm deathly afraid of frogs.

And you're not really afraid of frogs. Yeah, you would. Do you know what I mean? That'd be my play for that show. Yeah, absolutely the same. I'd be like, I love snakes. Snakes don't bother me. Yeah, don't worry about snakes.

You know what it is? It's the possums. And the lily-pillies. You know what? For me? Deathly afraid of popcorn. Oh, get popcorn away from me. You hate popcorn and twix?

You hate twicks. I just hate it, Ducko. I'm scared of it. I'm petrified of twicks. And I'm like, she's eating all the twigs. That snake was truly up your vagina for a beer there. I did. I was like, uh-oh.

And you know what? Finishing up me period, maybe it could smell. Oh, that's probably what it was. I want to give her my snake babies. Thanks. Do you know that reference? Why are you laughing so hard? It was a bane on reference.

It's just funny. Oh, you're not laughing because of the Harry Potter team. It's funny. Anytime. We need to do a movie marathon Harry Potter so shy guy knows the references. There's not that much time in the night. We do.

We really do. Make it move. Make it move. Get it sleeping. Oh. I feel leapt out. No, are you sure. Okay, let's quote the body blue, doco.

He'll feel left in. It's just moaning. She's really small. It's so smart, guys. You'll hear that on the show today. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got the shit that you like.

There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to hang. Jess. I put something in my mouth the other day that had not been in there for a long time. I ain't got to explain. Don't eat your, don't eat your sister's poo. Stop pooing on the deck. Like when you buy a fan to Thailand.

You only get it in a bad? Not brought Corrid sausages Fuck yeah, talk it This is Jess and Taco Right on at 6 o'clock For a great day That is Tuesday

It's feeling good Always feels good Looking fresh and bushy tailed You know I've got a haircut today First haircut in six weeks It's getting a bit long I genuinely meant the bushiness Yeah yeah it's time

I can tell because your top Usually looks the same It's your size That give you away And my neck hair Yeah Look how much neck hair I've got

One of the reasons That pushed me getting extensions. It was your neck hair. My neck hair. You got some bad neck hair. The next swirls. The next swirl.

Yeah. And obviously, we don't see it when you look in the mirror, but if there's ever a photo or vision taken of the back of me. It's annoying. And my hair's up. Ugh. Yeah, they're everywhere. What's that about?

It's just really annoying. I usually clip on them, but I've got the sister's wedding this weekend. So I was always getting a cut. I just wanted to maximize the cut. So I'm doing it right before. Very smart. But you don't want to do it day before because the cut I think is not prime for until about three to six days.

Because it looks a little too sharp, I think, and it looks a bit too, you've done this. Yep. You know? Purpose built, whereas otherwise, oh, you just look tidy. You look fantastic. I follow your mum on social media. Obviously, she has great gear.

And I saw the girls were on yesterday. Your mum, with your sister, obviously, the bride and a bunch of the gang, nails. Tans of, well, tan prep has started. This thing is bigger than the royal wedding. This, it's infiltrated my fee. I want to be surprised if shy guy's got it in his fee. Yes, it would be trending in yours. Have you got the royal wedding?

in your feed? Not yet, but I will. Now that we've talked about it. I reckon I field four phone calls today for my mother about this wedding. You know, different things, too, various things. And then my sister, and I was like, mate. I saw your sister posted your mom with her dress in the bag, can't reveal the mother of the bride dress. I was like, Kate, show me. She was like, no, it's a surprise.

She thinks the mother of the bra dress is just as big. Oh, 100%. And she like, you know, I want to walk down the aisle too. I'll come in. She does the pre-walk-walk-in. Like, my oldest sister's wedding, she made me walk her in while the grooms were up there before the bride's. group. What have I always said about our moms? They'd either be best mates

because they are cut from the same cloth and that's expensive cloth or they'd be mortal enemies because they're the exact same person. My mum was the same. My mom was the same. Oh, it's great. It's just so funny. Anyway, yeah, so it's a big, it's a huge family weekend guys. It's wonderful.

Nothing more joyful than a wedding. Nothing more joyful than a wedding, that's true. I guess when you're working it like you are. Like I'm enjoying it from afar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will be busy. It's even knowing we have a really nice lunch The day before the wedding Or the bridal party

Everyone's gonna get it loose And it's like I have so many responsibilities On the wedding day Like I can't And the run sheet I'm pretty sure it has says Ducco rain it in

Because you've got to be on fire tomorrow Ducco to leave at this time Ducco to have one beer Three waters One beer three waters It's just anyway It's gonna be really nice It's gonna be good

It was slap I did my I practice my full MC stuff To my wife yesterday And daughter Daughter loved it Of course. God, she loved it, number one fan. The faces, the costume changes.

Smiling, you know. The costume changes, she was getting a bit confused. Okay. Where's my daddy gone? What's daddy doing in a wig? You know, but it was good. Great. It's going to be a wonderful weekend.

For the whole Alan Duckett clan. It will be. And all of us watching on social. Yeah, yeah. I'll have to update you guys on, because the wedding's on Friday. That's right. Yeah. God, you better get that right.

I know. You know what, actually, if you think it's Thursday, at least that means you're going to be early. I'll be earlier. If you thought it was Saturday, you might miss the whole. I'll be, yeah, I'll be early. Yeah, so you're going to miss Friday show. I'm going to miss Friday show.

So I'm going to need to request a couple of voice memos, couple of contributions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want you to miss out on no dumb thought again. Now, I'll have to put something in there. Please do. I'll have to think of something. And also, if you could coach Shagga and how to do the alpha box rules?

He's got three days to learn. You can't. Under your tutelich. He's been circling the drain with Alphox for a while. There's nothing we can coach. It'll be fine. You do. No one said it won't be fine.

And how do we feel about the word fine? Hey, hit me with the rules. Go. 10 questions, 30 seconds. You're past. Don't say skip. That, in essence. Can't use the same answer twice?

That in essence. Don't say anything to do with skip because then it puts it in their heads. It does. And I appreciate why? Because I get so worked up over it, but I think that derails him. Because he's literally reading, goes off script for the skip line. And then it all falls flat and he starts saying 30 questions in 10 seconds. Yeah, because it's all jumbling around in front of me.

So I'll improvise here, then it just gets the left. Job, mate, it's a tough gig. It's a tough gig. At the end of the day, Shiro's a bit rattled today because he was up watching the Bonnie Blue documentary yesterday. That's right. He had thoughts. He had feelings. He's left multiple reviews. I had to have everyone in this room to come and say,

if you guys watched the Bonnie Blue docker, I had to turn it down. I did not expect it to be the show. I thought I was watching porn. Well, you kind of were. You were. It's on Amazon Prime. Stan. Oh, Stan.

Oh, so it's free. No, Stan. Stan. But as you know, you know, some of that. Amazon Prime ones, it's like, oh, you've got to rent or buy and it's 24-99. Oh, yeah, no, no, just on Stans. Stan, your subscription, everything's included. It was it good, mate? You learn a bit?

It's pretty interesting. She's a businesswoman. Yeah, you kept coming in saying she's savvy. He's on the Boney Blu band. He's on the bang bus, baby. I'm not, not on the Bonnie Blue, but she's very clever. It's interesting. Wow. All right. I mean, he did say the same thing after watching the Charlie Shane doco, so the man is easily swayed.

I hate, let's get in front of a cold leader and see how quickly he starts drinking the Kool-Land. Because you're obviously very easy to swat. What did What did you eat for dinner last night? Like, what was the night you had? You chucked on Bonnie Blue. Oh, that's right.

You're in front of the telly. I made a lasagna, so I had a lasagna. Oh. Yeah, but it was two sauce. It was very runny. So did you make the lasagna? Good on you. Did you make that in anticipation?

I'm going to need something carb heavy to get through the Bonnie Blue doctor. I don't know. I watched the Bonnie Boo. I had like 3pm. Oh, I'm afterno. That's why I had to turn it down because people walk past my street and there's kids in the house

behind me playing. I was like, they're on the trampoline. They're literally. They're literally on the trampoline jumping and I'm like, oh, if they look in. So I was like, hey God, it's just research for my radio show. My lasagna's in the oven. Everything's fine, lasagna's cooking. The robo-back's taking itself off. It couldn't watch this. It's redocked. It's re-docting, it's pleasuring itself. Yeah, it's interesting. Check it out if you have

Stan. I will now. I'll take your recommendation. There you go. 3 p.m. today, Doug. I will be telling my wife, like, hey, shah guy, said, for the show, Ducco. Shaka said, I've got to watch this doco for the show. Yeah. Well, yeah. I was going to tell her we've got an interview, but we don't.

And then Babs is like, yeah, my boyfriend's friends watched it and said she's so smart. She's really a great business woman. Nah, she is, though. You'll know what I'm talking about when you watch the dog. I'd rather watch my Wanner again, it's fine. I get it. I'm in. You got me.

You can't tell me twice. Really twisted your arm there, didn't he? Only murders in the building is taking a hike tonight. I shall be watching the Bonnie Blue dog. Merle, get in the bin. It's got to be a change, Morgan, but here we go. It's only 50 minutes, you say. It's a quickie.

I come in tomorrow. Gosh, she's smart. Guys, have you had a Bonnie Blue? She's an incredible business woman. I'm also on the bang bus. She's a shy guy. That's the bus she drives around in. Wait, actually.

It's called the Bonnie Blue Bang Bus, and she drives around. Is that where? Is that the scene of all these? Some of her stuff. Wow. I actually didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm already learning.

Who needs the doco? Hey, big show for the cookers today. Alpha bucks, your chance at 10K, 630 and 8. Oh, we've got Anna George coming in. Okay, you'll remember these guys. Ducco told us the story he heard about an 80-year-old getting married. Well, we found the 80-year-old and his bride to be. It's his former sister-in-law.

They're in studio. They are in studio. Former sister-in-law. He is getting with his brothers, past-away brothers. Late brothers, dead brothers. Val-Lay. Yeah, valet. Wife.

I guess ex-wife. Yes, but how it came to be, you will knock your socks off. It's fantastic. It's a scoop. No one else has them. They're a JD exclusive. Hell yeah. Did we get them to sign anything, Shagai?

You know how the big shows go, all right, Chris Jenner, you can't do any other interviews? Did we get Ann and George? Yeah, they signed a NDA? No, NDA means they can't talk. It's a confidentiality agreement. Yeah, exclusivity agreement. Very good. Right.

Up next, need to run you through my afternoon yesterday. Not watching Bonnie Blue. No, I wasn't on the bang bus for Shire. guy. I came across a strange thing on my walk. Oh! Just as exciting. Jess and ducco. Now, I had a little afternoon walk yesterday. I left Morgan at home,

me, a child, and the dog went for a walk. I love that. You took the young ladies, left the old lady to just have some peace and quiet. Good of you. She was sorting dinner out, just wanted some chill. Oh, okay. So she was more choice to be done. She was working, obviously. Just dividing conga. This isn't

free, mate. You know, come on. I'm running. I'm not running a service. You come home. She's watching the Bonnie Blue documentary. I thought you were getting the dinner ready. You went to start with me. I'll watch it again. No, you don't need to watch it again.

Don't act like you didn't watch it twice. The curry's in the slow cooker. It'll be ready for our dinner. It's curried sausages, obviously. It's all you eat now. You and babs. Every night. So I've taken Pam and Flo for a walk.

I got Flo strapped to my front. I got Pam. And we come to this park that we often go to, like near our house. And the park has a pathway running through the middle of it and then the rest is grass and then there's a park. You know my dog, Pam. She's precious. She doesn't want to walk on the grass if she doesn't have to.

Like, she'll obviously stick to the paths. Absolutely. Why would I get my Tootsons wet? Yeah. Or God forbid muddy. Exactly. Mm-hmm. Like, lying on the path, not passed out, not, I don't think drunk, not whatever, but she

was lying face down. Face down. Was your first thought, this woman is dead? No, no, because she had her hands underneath her. her chin and she was looking and her eyes were open and she was just staring, staring in our direction as we were walking. I'm picturing, you know, like, in like rom-coms when you're waiting, when you're on the phone and you're like, you hang up, you hang up and you're sort of like kicking

your legs back and forth, that kind of pose. Quite whimsical. Wimcical, but this, nothing looked too whimsical. I mean, she wasn't tiny. Okay, how old? I don't know. Like outrage? No, older.

Oh, maybe 40s. Like not old. Just in the middle of the path. And taking up. The path. You know what I mean? And so I got to the point and I was like, have you come up her bum way or face way? So she sort of seen me.

I've seen her. And then in that moment, she's seen me coming. And clearly I'm coming down the path. She's lying on. And I was like, what do I do? Do I stop and turn around? Do I go on the grass and go around? You'd have to pick your dog up to walk around.

Or do I just keep going on the path next to her and act like this is a normal interaction? Did she make any move to like roll out of your way? No. And she just, and she didn't say anything. I guess she doesn't want to get on the grass either. I know what she was doing. Like I said, she didn't seem to be sick or passed out or real or whatever. And like there were other people at the playground, the background and stuff.

She was just lying on the front, seemingly just enjoying her Monday afternoon. This is the most bizarre. But I really started overthinking it. Like, I was like. What's she doing? And so, because Pam is reactive. So I was like, and Pam, I could tell Pam was like, like, she was getting a bit like, what is this thing? What is this thing lying on the ground?

What? Get it out of my way. By the way, so I end up going down towards her. How close do you reckon you get? Oh, pretty close. Because by this stage, I was like, well, I'm kind of intrigued now. Like, I just want to see what happens. I get down towards her and I get close.

Me and Pam then, like, just for her off to the side, like, just like a normal thing, walking. And then she goes, can I pat your puppy? Like that? I mean, I might have chucked a bit of mayo on that. She's like a troll under the bridge. Can I bat your puppy? Well, mate, she was a bit of a troll. That's a huge bitch.

Can I pay your puppy? And I was like, ah, she's reactive. Now, this is, again... Why are you on the ground? What are you doing? Get off the pub. Why do I have... I want to go find her.

You've never seen her before. And then I walked up and I continued with my day. And I was like, Hang on, did you let her pat the puppy? No. Yes and Docco. Always get involved in the text line. You can get involved anytime you want.

But 04-8-8-18-106 lines when the best stuff comes in. Samantha just sent us a text. This is for the whole team. Morning, guys. I'm listening to the podcast. This just came in. So I'm a day behind. So this is actually from Friday's show.

So it's a couple days. Oh, okay. But I wanted to let you know, some butchers do put their curried sausages in a bag to sell. Thank you, Samantha. Butchers put their curried sausages in a bag because I said, no, they put them in a plastic container. I wanted to know how awful that pre-done curried sausages.

And then they slop it into a bag. You scoffed at me. He said, container like your hoity-toid-loat, hoity-toy-to-y. Babs, have you ever got your curried sossos in a bag? Can't say a half. Yeah, no, I don't know what butchers you're going to, Sam. What snobby butchers you two are going to, but the real...

The real people like Samantha, just your average Joe and Josephines are getting it in a bag. And we learned yesterday that things taste better in a bag, right, Shagga? They do. Everything tastes better in a bag. Showing is a huge bad guy. Massive bad guy. He's keeping bags in business. When Coles and Woolie said we're getting rid of plastic bags, he was the only one boycotted inside.

He was. I bought the fruit plastic. You know, the skinny one? I'm going to keep buying them. They haven't gone anywhere. No, they haven't. They're still there. Oh, funny.

Thank you for getting involved. What I mean? Text us anything at any time. Absolutely. We'll see it. It comes through. You know who's not texting a stucco? My mum and dad.

No, because they're in Pottie. Well, Francie, South of Fronet. They're in the South of Fronet. They were in the South of Fronet. They started in Pennsylvania. Harry. They're making their way down. My mum wants to go on bike rides. And your dad just wants to have sex. Like, they're on two different holidays. Different activities. My parents have come at this trip.

They're in the south of France. And I sent my dad a message prompting him to complete a task that I've set him ages ago. He said, sorry, busy. I accidentally set the fire alarm off, had to evacuate the whole hotel. I said, what do you mean? A series of photos came through of a, Hordes of people, a whole hotel that'd been evacuated. Look, like, at the middle of the night. Yeah. Tell me what happened. He went on to explain, actually, mum dobed him in.

Dad tried to light a scented candle in the room. You do not have open flames in hotel rooms, people. It set off the fire alarm evacuating the whole hotel. Always bring the fake candles. That's what I learnt. Ah, the tea lights with the battery. Yeah, absolutely. Similar, I tried to encourage you and your wife to do that in the birthing suite.

I like the ambiance. It's set, but we were told no open flame. No open flames. Same as the hotel room. I go back to my parents after we'd had that conversation. I said, we need more information. Ducco had questions that I did not have answers to. One, what was the fallout at the hotel?

Like, they would have known it just sparked from your room. Is there a fee? Is there a charge? Surely is a fiery fee. Are you kicked out? You don't get the French fire to service out there for nothing. They'll be pissed. They would be pissed.

Number two, where did you get the candle from? There were a lot of questions. Did Dad pack the candle in his toiletries bag next to his shaving cream and toothbrush. Yeah, yeah. Knowing it was happening. Knowing it was happening? Yeah.

Or did they buy one there? Yeah. Three, where did you get matches from? Yeah. Four, did you have to pay a fine? And five, you didn't ask this, but I was curious. Yeah. What scent did you choose?

I'd be interested in. I would have. He's a huge. I was thinking like a... Sandalwood? Oh, sandalwood. I was thinking like a petal. I was thinking like a musky.

Oh, you're only going to go on more flowery. Yeah, rose petal. My mom does like flowers. Yeah, I know what she likes. My mum replies, sorry, we can't fulfil this request to answer your questions. Is she Amazon? As we have had to sign an NDA with the hotel to hush up this embarrassing incident. I said, ma.

They're so embarrassed. I started going French. I said, Sivu play, mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Consider it my Christmas present. I begged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, don't you ever want to see us again?

If we break the NDA, we'll never be allowed to leave France. I said, put an accent on when you do a voice member. Can we call you? As if that's not on the local French radio. Like, that would be a local story that came out, you know. 100%. Once people find out. Madeline and Geppetti, you know, for breakfast.

Madeline and Geppetti on Vujubralafra FM. And they're like... On Baguette, FM. Have you heard of these Australians coming out and doing this to us? These horny Australians. They try to make love and they do the wrong way. What, scent candle, do you think he packed? He packed kangaroo

Kangaroo You don't know It was French pear One of those You know Culturally appropriate ones I'm surprised They're in a job

But they're now being My mum replied at 531 hour time It's now 630 They've gone They've gone I reckon they'll have to tell us I reckon they've cut com This will be the thing

That you're going to have to Just keep prying out of them Over years and years I know On their deathbed My dad will finally say Go do your dead dad telling us what candle he did to make love to his mother.

And seen. Jessica, come closer. It was pine lime. And I'll be like, what? What was pine lime, dad? What was that? I was trying to make love to your mother. In Leon, France.

Oh, that story. And then I'll call you straight away. Ducco! It's Pond Lime! You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer, cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time.

We are playing for $10,000. Our player today is Maddie. Good morning, Maddie. Morning. Maddie, what are we doing with 10 grand, babe? Oh, we want to go on a holiday, and I've got my daughter in the car, so the pressure's on. Okay. Is she judgmental at the best of times? A little bit.

Okay. Let's not fail in front of her, you know? How old is the daughter? She's nine. Oh, yes. Tough age. Yeah, it is. Well, the letter you're going to work with today, Maddie, is T410, which we need 10 out of 10 to get you and the family on a holiday, okay?

Yep. All right. Let's do it. You ready? Yep. Your time will stand after the first question. Starting with the letter T, we need you to name a sea animal. Turtle.

A verb. Pass. A beauty product. Pass. A board game? Tetris? A five-letter word. Tense?

A gemstone. Pass. A comedy film. Pass. An instrument? Trumpet? An international city. No.

Something square. That's all she wrote. That's all she wrote. And I can feel the judgment already. Don't you judge money. No, that's just shy guy. That's his default face. And sound, mad.

Don't worry about him. Yeah, it's all. It's the silence. That's definitely. Some tough ones in there. Look, a verb could have been talk. A beauty product, tweezers. Or to-a, maybe even tanning lotion.

A board game, you said Tetris. I think that's a board game. We could have said Twister or Troubles. Yep. A gemstone, Popaz, or the Turquoise. A comedy film. I mean, there's a few TED. Teledged Nights.

Oh, I love Teledgan Nights. And then an international city, by then I think we just, the horse had bolted. But Tokyo or Toronto is what we're after there. Look, Maddie, you don't get the money, but you do get the next best thing. $100 to spend at Crocs. Oh, perfect. I love Crocs. And Maddie, we'll send you a Jess and Ducko Giz bit.

Yes, we will. Yeah, perfect. You can wear us everywhere you go Love that. Take us on your adventures. Take us on your adventures, Maddie. I will. I won't be going far now, but I will. We'll come with you to Al-Dash in time. Take us to Al-Dy, Maddie.

We don't need much. I'll be in home. I would love to see Maddie's home. It's not much, but it's ours, Maddie. Thanks, Mads. Thank you. We do play again, 8 o'clock. $10,000 up next.

I feel like we just invited ourselves to Maddie's house. It's all right. You can just take the jizs-bed. No, I want to come. What is what she buys from Elby. Babs's blog is coming up next. Babsy comes in and just tells us something going on her life. I know.

Hot off the press of two compliments about her hair. Let's see what she has for us. Good after you guys. I'm acting class today. God, we've got a classic from the 90s. Okay, I've been really brushing up on my stuff. You are going into the kid territory today. You're playing kids.

And two of you are in love. Oh, it's going to be fun. I cannot. I'm still working at home. I'm going to cast us who. Okay. But, you know... Shy guy, there's still time to suck up.

You can lead role. I'm just trying to give him the least amount of words. Off the back of him playing Nicholas Cage last week. I mean, surely. Sure. You're getting the lead, guys. It's kind of becoming the baton, isn't it? Hey, it's Babs, and this is my blog.

Commence Operation Superstar for Ratsleigh. The Queen is in studio. Queen's Lay. Zucker, I think you should turn the music down. This one's a bit serious. Down or off completely. Just down. Okay.

Someone on this team has done something. Oh, here we go. Very incriminating and out of character. What? Ducko. You're safe. Oh, geez, talk about acting class. I think you've got just to kill the lady.

She's got me in. Okay. Jessica. Okay. You're safe, too. Great. What have I done now? Yes.

This is fantastic. What's he done? Not safe. What have I? What? We went to the cafe because we had no breakfast here. It was a bad day. It's a whole thing.

There's raisin toast today. Yeah, okay, I'm really excited. We can't afford it, mate. Carrie and Tommy got a bus. I went to bag. Whatever. They took all our raisin toast money. Babsy's hungry.

Yeah, I had to pay $15 for a burrito. What did I do? Okay. You'll have your right of reply. Yeah. Let her. We're on the way back from getting said burritos. And I'm talking as I.

usually do and Shagai is replying and then he just... That's called a conversation, guys. No, but just... Shut up. Just wait, just stop talking. And then he starts malfunctioning and he starts

like going like, well and like just making like non-consensile like no words. I see this girl walking past wearing skimpy active wear. Oh, I do you define it as that. I turn to Shagat and goes there's no way you just started

malfunctioning because you just saw a girl wearing active wear. And he went, oh, I didn't mean to. All I was just like all these warning bells went off in my head and all I saw was like blue, blue, blue, blue, because he was wearing blue active wear. As in, as in, I shouldn't be staring. Like, I'm staring. I need to not stare.

He got caught out staring. No, no, no, no. Hang on. One at a time. He went home and watched the Bonnie Blue Docko yesterday. I said, you're not a robot? Like, what? Well, hang on.

Blue, blue, blue, blue. That's not. happened. I did lose my train of thought as I was in conversation. Wow. She had a little purse. She, no. Oh my goodness. She knew what she was wearing. He told me what do you use that word because it's too dramatic. Bab what sort of

active were we talking? We're talking skimpy, cropped booty shorts? What was it? It was the ones that like have those lines that they suck in the butt. Yeah. I mean where else you meant to look? No, but part of me, Duccoe. Babs, I thought you were saying she was walking towards you. So how did he see her bum? No, she was

we were going left. She was walking past. Oh, so the angles, did you do the classic thing where you start to look behind before they come? We'll also walk him down the stairs. So you look behind before I get there to know that they'd walk in your vision? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not his first rodeo. We're going down the stairs. I was already focusing on not falling down the stairs.

In front of the hot girl. Didn't want to embarrass yourself. So he went like, um, blue, oh, blue, blue. He just started like malfunctioning. I've never seen that on him. No, me either. That's why I turned around. I went, surely not you're just like every other man.

And we had, like, you're different. We've had... I thought we have, like, really fun times. Like, we'd go to the cafe and stuff, but now you're looking at women. That's like, you're like everyone else. And I was like... We've had...

We've had very gorgeous female rice cookers throwing themselves at you at various lunches. Yeah, yeah, we have. I've tried so hard. I gave me his room key. None of them have had an alarm bell ringing just a stranger on the street. We have to find her.

What did she look like? Like, are we blonde? I think she was a brunette. She was a brunette. That's all I remember. That in the blue. And, and, like, attractive. Well, I wasn't looking, you know.

I was very deep in conversation. You were just pitching about the ulcerial situation. What do you reckon, Shaga? Well, I didn't see that much of her front, so. Oh, where's the bum that got you? Are you a bum man? He's a bum guy. You're a scrunch bum man.

Just, just. Mate, I never thought, I didn't expect this from you either. Neither did I. I really just lost my train. He was, like, I don't want to go and high five. You're really out of you. I'm like, you know. A short circuit.

I mean, it's just a... Ducker, what was the last time? But she knew what she was wearing. I would end up one at a time. Oh, don't say that. I'm serious. Ducko, what was the last time a stranger made you short circuit on the street?

That's a very powerful... Oh, I mean, I've been married for a while. You know what? Don't answer that question. Not any time in the last 12 years that I can remember. That's what a powerful reaction is what I'm saying. He doesn't have powerful reactions to anything. That's what's shaking me up about that.

That's why I was so, like, I came and sat down and I was like, Boss, Jace, you've got to hear what just happened on the street. I think we were over hungry. But then he did go home, can I just reinstate? He watched the Bonnie Blue documentary yesterday afternoon. Could it have been more perfect. The chick was wearing blue. I know. Shy Lord, you naughty, naughty boy.

Wow, what a perv. Jess and Ducko. All thanks to Maccas, a Monopoly game is back at Maccas. 1 in 3 chance of winning over 49 million prizes every single time you play. We got the Aizuzu MUX, 52K rent mortgage top up, and over 200,000 gift cards from brands like, I don't know, Amazon, the iconic webjet DJs and BPs. Oh my God. Just some small brands. It'll be fantastic.

Oh my God. You need a My Macca's app, though. Get your code and place your order. And it ends October 14, full terms. Visit McDonald's.com.com. God, it's been a fun morning so far, but there's more fun to come. I'm still recovering from Babs's blog where we found out that shy guy had urges.

He had a malfunction in real time. God, I would have paid to witness that ducker. He saw a good-looking girl wearing booty, scrunchy, bunchy shorts. That's right. I think that's the technical turn. Yeah, thank you. And he went, oh, blue, blue, because she was wearing blue shorts. He was mid-sentence, and did you catch what they were talking about?

His droopy plan, well, something wasn't droopy after this girl walked past, but am I right or am I right? Oh, really? The plan was still. droopy. You weren't. Yeah, I know what you're doing. You had a day yesterday, you met Shy Guy. I did have a day.

You know, you always amaze me and surprise me. You're welcome. Yeah. And Bat, I didn't thank you for sure. But also, what I love most about that is that Babs' friendship with Shagai's taking a hit. I know. Well, she had pegged you as a certain kind of person, a certain kind of man. And I believe the fall out of this was, you're just like the rest of them.

Yeah. I've gone down a peg. Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed. Oh, she's disappointed in you, mate. No more burrito walks for you guys of an afternoon. Are you planning on now trying to catch this girl every day at the same time? Because we know her for a shame. Well, we can figure out what time it was, we could try again.

I know Babs won't say no to another burrito. You buy her the burrito. Obviously. Is she good looking enough to just have a swing here, to go back and find? I don't really look at her face, which is not terrible, but that's the truth of it. She was walking hard. Ships in the wind, you know. Sips in the night, whatever the phrase is.

It's in the wind. Whatever it's called. He looks up. He's like, oh, God. Boobies and bum in the wind. Anyway. Oh, that's funny. But I'm loving what you're saying, though, Daco.

Let's have more of an investigation. How dare you, Shagga. And then maybe we offer an invitation to her. She joins us for a breakfast burrito next time. I would love that. Blue scrunchy bunchy pants if you were out there. Shagga, I didn't see your face, but he'd like to. If you were aware.

We're wearing scrunchy bungee bum pants yesterday. Brunette. That's all we know about you. Shaga has a request. Can I pat your puppy? Jess and Ducco. Call of Fame Prize, draw this thing on Friday. It is fantastic.

Pass the NRL Grand Final plus accommodation at Ridges Dalling Square, refreshingly local. Ridge's Dulling Square. You know, your home away from home. You get involved in the show this week. Yep. Come Friday 9 a.m. Ring a ding ding.

It's Justin Ducko. You're off to the grand final. How good would that be? But we can't ring a ding-ding-ding, if you haven't first ring a ding-dung us. Yeah, you've got to ring a ding-dung us and we can ring a ding-ding-you. That's right. Yeah, you're going to get involved. It's a tit-for-tat.

It is. You scratch our back, we'll scratch yours. Obviously. But only one of you. Only one of you. 13-1060. Get involved. You never need an invitation.

No, any chance you get. Yeah. Maybe you're the blue-panted lady who wants to call in to say, Shagai, it's me. Shagai has to hold Babs' hand while they go to the kitchen to look for breakfast. Yeah, yeah. Scraps?

If you are the blue-panted lady I don't know if you know where the studios are But it was around our studios You're a lucky lady if you are You made him short circuit Which is not something we thought he was capable of I've wanted to cut into his arm To make sure there were no wires

Because we've all thought He's a robot He's a bot, yeah He's a CPU The right scrunch bunch bum pants In the right scrunch bunch bum which bum have made him absolutely proven to be a red-blooded man. At the risk of playing the niche sting for myself, Jess.

You know I'll support you, brother. You know who Shagai is? Talk to me. In Jumanji, when they go into the game. Wait, the Robin Williams one or the new one, sorry, with the Rock and Kevin Hart. They go into the game and there's a guy, welcome to Jumungi. And he says the same thing over and over again. He's on script.

Dr. Bravestone, welcome to Jumonti. I'll pay that. Well done, Duffo. That's not niche at all. That's the perfect reference. Done it again. Except he's not. Because he's scrunch, bunch, bum, lady.

Is that Reist Darby? Could be. Don't try to get the actor and shy away from you. I know we've got the acting class next. Stop trying to suck up to the director to get the lead role, okay? Yes, it is my acting class next. I've had some casting changes in the last couple of minutes. Okay.

Stick around because we're doing a scene from Little Rascal. Jess and Ducco Yes and Ducco Shy got full of your pants Bab stop crying I need energy Just stop eating on camera Rolling camera

Rolling lights Rolling audio Ducco's acting class And action Hello my fellow Fespians Hello Good morrow to you

Good morrow Feelers leader Oh hello Are you feeling a bit blue Today Shy Lord I'm fine. Could he channel that as motivation for this scene? Possibly, but here's what I'm...

Now, we know Shagai can't read at the best of times. So I've had to just shake things up a little bit here with Who Plays Who. Okay. So this is from Little Rascals, the 1994 classic, iconic movie where Alfalfa was born. Now, Babs, you put this into my head because Shaga had a bit of an alfalfa the other day. He did. With his hair do. And you said Alfalfa, and I thought, geez, Babs knows the 90s reference?

Yeah. Have you seen this movie? I have a long time ago, but I just remember specifically. scenes. It's a great movie. It's a very sweet. Very fun movie. I don't know what that kid went on to go do. I don't know what any of them went on to go do. It's a real moment in time. Your gal, whoopies in it.

Whoopies in everything. You look hard enough. Whoopies in the background. She's always there. Anyway. She went from this to ghost. She did. To the catalogue.

The none one. Oh yeah. It's just rack. Yeah, yeah. Another classic. So, right now, his house is going to work. This is the scene where Alfalfa and Dahl are on a picnic date. However, Spanky and Panky and

Porky, the other kids seeing them from afar and they're part of the the he-man-no-women club kind of thing. They're not happy about it. They're kids. They don't want cooties or girl germ. So the fact that alfalfa is seeing a girl is disgusting, Babs. That's your sort of motivation. Jess, you were going to play

Alfalfa today because I believe you have what it takes to be the lead, okay? I can read. Pretty much. Thank you for example. We'd give you enough. Even when I gave it to you 24 hours in advance, You still didn't nail it.

I didn't open the email. Yeah, I know you didn't. I was like, what am I doing? I'm not going to question your choices. Thank you. I embrace this. Do you want to stick up some hair? So you are trying to take Dala out.

Who's shy guy? Shagai, you are besotted with Alfalfa. You're Dalla. You're a little, what are they five? Yeah, five or six. You're five or six, your little girl. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. All right, you're besotted. This is outside the clubhouse. Okay. No girls allowed. Babs is spying watching. She's not happy. You to run a picnic.

All right. Alfalfa is. He's nervously adjusting his bowtie. Darla smile sweetly and action. Darla, I plan this picnic just for you. And you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Oh, alfalfa. That's so sweet.

Did you make all this yourself? That's going to that reading thing. Well, mostly, I mean, I had a little help from my heart. Dala, your eyes are like two sparkling stars in the sky. And your hair is like A cow lick that won't quit Cut to the right Spanky cratches behind bushes disgusted

Spying then whispers loudly Can you believe this? Spanky come with a strong accent Come on, go Our fath was breaking every rule And the he-man woman hated It's from the deep cell Spanke

He's a 40-year-old man from the cell He's running with the enemy Okay I'll play porkey Yeah, he's all mushy, gross That's a bag of day smoking for five years. These kids are on it. I'm back to you, thank you.

Right. Let's get... Come on. Integrity. Let's get closer and sabotage this picnic. Follow my lead. Back to the picnic. Alfalfa pulls out a flower from the basket to woo Darla.

Darla, this flower pales in comparison to your beauty. Oh, alfalfa, you're so funny. Why, you southern... Because I'm picking it up. It's contagious It's contagious Tell me how about Tell me more about how you feel

Is that reading anything again? No Go go go Well I I think about you all the time Darla Like when I'm eating oatmeal Or

Or tying my shoes You're going to sing it You are so beautiful To me Oh yuck Dahl's looking around She hears a noise What was that?

Oh, probably just a squirrel, or the wind. So Darla, want to share this sandwich? This is worse than I thought. We need a big plan to break this up. Alfalfa's a traitor. We need to remind him what the club's... There is a country Western happening at the same time as a picnic. Maybe we can scare Darla off.

Watch this. Smoke fills the air after spanky lights and matched, setting a light to their he-man-woman-hater's club. Alfalfa, what's the smoke? Something burning? Oh, no. The clubhouse. My whole life's in there.

Come on, Dala. Wait, alfalfa, what's going on? You're shocked now. Spanagia. Alfalfa, this is your fault. Your girlfriend calls this. My fault. I was just...

I mean, I wasn't doing anything. Girlfriend. Alfalfa, what's he talking about? Why are we all doing accents? My game's changing dialect. I know. From the south? I don't know. Darla, I can explain.

I, I, I, I got to save the club. Now, Dahlia, you are just, you are so angry now. You are so frustrated. Go. You've got some explaining to do alfalfa Switzerland. Dahlia, wait, I'm sorry. And seen. It was the same.

We really went around America, didn't we? We had someone from the southern and doing a country western. We had a pack-a-day smoker. Poor Darla Dala changed three quarters of the way through Dahl had ever got a part of that sand Hey well done guys Great words, thanks

I don't think we need to do it again Jess and Ducco I thought Angus was lying to my face The other day, Ducko And I tried to use my daughter Who will be two next month As the Witness Yeah, good

And it went as well as you could probably predict He took her out with one of his best mates. They've got a little girl who's three, so only a year older. They were having some daddy daughter play date time, but they're both, you know, eaters. So they went out for a nice brunch

at a relatively fancy place. Sent me a pick of the pancakes and the baby chinos. Yeah. Boys are having a great time. Beautiful Sunday morning, this was happening. Yeah. Anyway, they come home after a few hours, but because it had been so long,

I was like, geez, you weren't at the restaurant this whole time were you. I can't imagine the girl sat for that long. Yeah, they'd be up and about. Exactly. Angus goes, oh, no, we had our, We had our pancakes and we went for a little walk. But Lottie, his best mate's little girl, she spotted a cold rock.

She spotted the ice cream. Oh, yeah. Ice cream shop. So she got an ice cream and Angus tried to tell me. A pre-midday ice cream. A pre-midday ice cream. Hey, man, daddy daughter, there are no rules. Yeah, yeah, they do whatever.

But Angus goes, oh, so I had to distract Lucia until Lottie finished her ice cream because, you know. Lucia wasn't allowed the ice cream? Well, no. The issues with the sleeping were minimized. Any sugar, anything like that. But then one dad looks like the cool fun dad. The other dad looks like the boring dad. He's got a glint in his eye while he's telling me this, ducker.

Oh, I had to distract Lucia while Lottie finished her on a screen. Ah, I see. I said, you're lying straight to my face. Just admit it, you bought her an ice cream too. If Mitch bought Lottie, there's no way you didn't also get her an ice cream. Yeah, yeah. You'd be, like, you'd be loser dad forever. He's looking at me going, I swear.

I went, no, no. See this Cheshire grin you've got? I don't believe you. He goes, I swear, I swear. I said, Lucia, Lucia, come here, please. She waddles over. I said, Luci, did Daddy get you an ice cream today? She goes, yes.

And I nearly hit the roof. And he quick as a whip, ducker. He goes, Luci, did daddy let you drop acid at the table as well? She goes, yes. I'm like, okay. Maybe not as reliable a week. Witness. Okay.

Good for Agnes to come back with that. Fairly good. Or had he preempted this in her and said, Mommy's going to ask you about the ice cream, so Data's going to ask you about acid. Just say yes. Well, you're going to have the routine. Yeah.

Because you know what? I mean, she stands to benefit. This means more ice cream in the future. Yeah. So did you ever get to the bottom of it? No, because I, he said, call Mitch. I went, oh, yeah, like he's not going to back you up. Yeah, yeah.

He's not a reliable. You know, who I didn't ask, the three-year-old. Ah, she'd be better. Lottie might have been the one to actually reveal the truth. I mean, she's forgotten now days ago. Absolutely. I'll have to tempt her with ice cream to tell me the truth about the ice cream. So you still think he's lying about the ice cream? I just can't believe that he didn't get her an ice cream.

He is a sweet tooth himself. Yes. When we're in Italy, every night, they shared an ice cream. She would walk past, you know, the gelatoria is going, cone, cone, cone. So this isn't out there. Like an ice cream. I know. We can't bring up acid and cones.

This is your kid, mate. Jess and Ducko We are asking now on 131060 What went in your mouth? Maybe it accidentally got in there Or maybe like my friend Ducko You put it there And you immediately regretted it

Yeah yeah At me book club the other night An endless well of content This book club Isn't it? It's been going for like a long time I know When you get seven

Very different ladies in a room You just don't know Where the conversation's gonna go Real Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants Vibes your book club That's one book we haven't done And we should, surely for the vibes. But I've told you about my friend, Cooley.

She's the agenda overlord. So once she gets through all her sort of agenda items, then we can have free reign and talk about whatever we want. And I happen to mention how I've started drinking cupfuls of water with two tablespoons of chia seeds. Trying to get more omega-3 in. So you put, do the cheer seeds just, because they wouldn't dilute? That's the thing.

If you leave it too long, it goes gelatinous, like that chia seed pudding, which I do not care for, but I just need to get it in. So usually like a teaspoon, swill around and just scall it? Literally try and shot it, but it's a decent cup of water. Eating a piece of fish would be easier, but I just am a child and I can't bring myself to do it. So we're talking about chia seeds. Maybe a vitamin, perhaps. Yeah, maybe I should look at it.

No, but keep doing what you're doing. Yeah, I like it. Well, I'm having issues with the chia because I've got the wire behind my tea. Oh, yes. They're getting chia. They'll get in all nooks and cranny. Oh, yeah. And one of the other girls, let's call her.

Learni. Oh, yeah, Learnie. Liani goes, oh my God, don't even get me started on chia seeds. She's a vegetarian, so that's a big part of her diet to get, obviously, the supplementary vitamins. But she goes, I was at work, and I could feel the chia in the middle, the middle of the bottom road. That's always an annoying gap. She goes, clearly don't have floss when I'm at work. I said, what did you do, get your hair?

You know, I had a girlfriend used to use her hair as a floss. She goes, no, I got a post-it note and try. tried to dig it out with a post-it note. But what happened was the post-it note ripped. They're not exactly hard. She goes, then I have this tiny square, this tiny ripped piece of post-it note, fluoro yellow, stuck in my teeth.

Stuck in my mouth. Much worse than the chia seed ever was. Had to spend the rest of the day with this tiny little piece of fluoro poster. And everyone can see it's glowing. She goes, I had meetings. Or my colleagues are pointing it out. I went, that was the worst thing to put in my mouth. a bit of post-it note in lieu of floss.

Oh. We don't be doing that. It's a good lesson for everyone. Book club chats get, you know, they get anime, don't they? They get, I've never heard that story. I've never heard anyone doing that. No. And now I'm glad I'm equipped with that knowledge, post-it note,

not a good supplement for floss. Yeah. I've had, um, uh, cricket legs in my mouth because we were in... Just the legs. Just the legs. Because at Mona, sorry, and Tazzy, they had their dark mofo festival where it's like weird winter solace vibes. Yes.

Did that and they were serving crickets on a stick. So I bought one. I had a cricket on a stick. Multiple crickets on the... There was two, I think. Okay. And tell you what, not worth it. It tastes like trash.

The legs were so sticky in my mouth. They got stuck in the gaps in my teeth. Yes. Because like the body is sort of chewing and goes around. The legs just get stuck in there. And you know, they're all trying to make us eat bugs now because they're saying with the climate crisis, bugs is what we should turn our attention to. Yeah.

Because one high... Don't they say crickets are very high in protein. I meant to be not bad for you, but... Cricket legs in your mouth. Don't think I could do it again. You know what you need it to post it? No. Jane on 131060. Jane, what went in your mouth?

Good morning. So it wasn't me, but it was a colleague of mine and a doctor I worked with many years ago at a birth, ended up with a mouthful of amniotic fluid. Oh, my goodness. So Jane, it's exploded out, obviously, and they were just not prepared for that moment. Was this their first birth? It does splash. No, there's a big splash. You're like the Shamu splash zone when you're down there. But unless it's your first one, surely you know. Yeah, it's a splash. You forget, though, in that moment.

It was a little bit, a little bit complicated where it was a little pre-term baby. Oh, also there's mitigating factors here. This is the best name of my life. Oh, no. Okay, well, that's another good learning, Jane. If you're down the business end of a birth, you keep your mouth closed. Keep your mouth closed. Yeah, you don't want that.

We don't want post-it note, cricket leg, or amniotic fluid in your mouth. Amniotic fluid would be the worst thing to come in your mouth. Jane, were they able to describe it. describe the flavour? Oh, I don't remember that we actually asked in that I think we were too busy seeing if there was any mouthwash anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's very... That immediately does not care about the birth of child. Strangely minty. Yeah, you know what's not about you? You want some doctor? 13, 10, 60, what was in your mouth? What went in your mouth? Did you put it in your mouth?

Did you get there? How did it get there? That's maybe another question. Did someone put it in your mouth? Like this lady shot it into the doctor's mouth. Jess and Ducco Yes and Ducco My friend Liani

Revealed that in lieu of floss She tried to use a post-it note one time At the office Turns out that is not a good substitute It tore off in her teeth And she was left for the rest of the day With like a fluoro yellow Scrap of post-it note in her teeth

Which was much harder to explain away Than just a chia seed would have been in the first place So that's what went in her mouth But she put it there She put it down intentionally. So you almost can't feel sorry for it. You can't. Whereas the lady we just heard who, uh, doctor colleague had a mouth full of amniotic fluid during a birth.

You don't want that. I mean, that's not their fault. No, it splashes up. It does. It does. It does. It does. It does.

Tracy on 131060, it was your stepdad's mouth. Yeah, it actually was. So years ago, um, we used to have two cattle dogs, a red and a blue cattle dog. And my, every day my stepdad would get home and he'd go out the back and play with the dogs and this one afternoon he's gone out the dogs were all excited and he been over to give him a bit of a belly rub and a scratch and um yeah one was a bit more excited that day than expected and project all the bit of a pee up into my stepdad's now um and yeah to make things worse my stepdad had a really weak stomach so not only was that bad enough

but then he was walking around the backyard just dry reach his body he's got he's got he's got Louis P in his mouth. That's real one. No one wants that. What do they teach us about, you know, at least male babies? Doodle down. Doodle down? Doodle down.

If you're going to get your dog all razzed up and excited, you better keep your mouth shut then. Thanks, Tracy. We go to Lou on 13, 1060. Lou, what went in your mouth? Well, when I was a kid, we had this beautiful big jackaranda tree in the front yard, and we are playing cricket underneath the tree. So I went to take a catch, and I'm looking up. I'm going to take the catch, and a bird crapped in my mouth.

So you're slack, George, looking for the, looking for the ball, and that bird's gone, oh, I've got a target right there. Yes, yes. And I bet you, whoever you were playing with has never let you forget that. Well, they probably have. It's my siblings, and, you know, you'd just be on from things like that. But you know what? It was strangely gritty.

The poo? The poo? Sorry, we didn't ask. The poo was strangely gritty in the mouth. Interesting. And it's interesting, it looks so running. It does look right. And Lou, can you recall a flavour? No, no, no, no.

Just remember the texture. Yes, the texture. And I ran to the garden hose and I'm like, ooh. Bigger question here, though, Lou, did you take the screamer? You take the catch? No, no, because the poo hit me before the ball. Yeah, no. When the poo hits you before the ball, you're in trouble.

Not even, how's this from my cricket knowledge? Not even Marnas Labersran could have made that catch after a poo in the mouth. Not even Marnas is coming back. back from that. I don't even think he's a fielder, but anyway. They all field. They all feel. Yes.

I should have backed myself in. Ash, good morning. Hi, good morning. How are you going? Yeah, good. Ash, we've heard amniotic fluid. We've heard dog wee, and now we've heard bird poo. What ended up in your mouth?

TMI, but a deceased person's body fluids. Oh, my goodness. That is. Are you a coroner or like a morgue worker? No. I am just a normal age care worker. Oh, of course. That was my next step.

Yep. Yeah. So just unfortunately one of our beautiful residents passed away and we had the family outside the room. So once someone passes away, you've got a really short time of frame before Rigamortus sets in. So sometimes the family, we like to dress and present them really nice and well and everything. Clean them up, clean their face because I don't know if you know, but when someone's passing away, all the muscles relax, their mouths open, the fluids and everything. Comes out. Yeah. So we cleaned him up nice. Got to the like. last part, we were buttoning up his really nice shirt that the family would like him in. And as I've grabbed, I've leaned over to grab and my partner gives a little bit of a push just so we could get the other arm in. Instead of it coming down where it normally exits at the bowels, I was the lucky one to cop it where it came up and out of his mouth and it all came into my mouth. Oh, my God.

No. What did you do then? The family's outside like crying away. You can't be right reaching. morning and everything and they must have heard all these noises coming from and thinking, what on earth is going on in the name? They're out there to see Grandpa and Grandpa's vomiting in your mouth. Grandpas vomited in my mouth.

Oh, that is. Yeah. All the purge fluids. We've said it. You don't know what they call it purge fluids. It's literally everything that's left in the stomach. Everything's left in the bow. So it wasn't just fluid. It was everything.

Was it, um, like we learned about the bird puppy. Gritty? Yeah, gritty. What was the texture? The texture was like mucusy. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't know. Did you keep doing that job? The smell I cannot actually get out of my brain. I'm used to a lot of stuff. I do it all day long every day, but that was just next level. Do you still do that job? Oh, yeah, I love it. Yeah.

Good on you. We've said it once. We've said it before. Not paid enough. You couldn't, yeah, yeah. To get old person vomit. And to then put on a straight face and greet the grieving. family, oh, my lord.

Well, Ashley, you know, Ash was really close to them, man. Well, she's, I hope she's in the wheel. I've tasted your granddad and, you know, not great. It was mucus. Mark on 13, 1060, Mark. I started this with poster. No, I love it. Mark, hello.

Yeah, fantastic. My mother doesn't sound so good, so bad anymore. After the last one, geez, I'm not eating food. Yeah, I know. We should have given that. Yeah, I was out helping, I was out squid fishing and this lady next to me got this massive big squid and I gave her hand to get it in. So as soon as I got down to the water, grabbed the squid, it just let go of the black ant all over my mouth, all in my mouth, all over my... I couldn't see a thing.

I'm trying to, try to, well, basically do things in the dark, pull the squid up onto the bank and onto the rocks and then try to find the water again. And that stuff's bad too. You don't want to get it in your eyes and in your mouth. I've actually been squid fishing. I don't know how I didn't, I think it's your eye, eye reflex, you know. Like, I didn't get any in my eyes, even though it was so fast. It was all in your mouth. You were just drinking it.

Is it on my mouth? Don't ask me what a page like it. I can't remember now. Yeah, yeah. I won't ask about the texture. I've been squid fishing and they do. Have you copped it in the mouth? No, no, I didn't cop in the mouth, but it came in the boat and it just squitted everywhere.

I hope that lady gave Mark the squid after all that. Like if it was a biggie, he's the one who's copped all the yuckies. If you caught an ink, you want to take it. You take this as payment. It's been great. Kiani, wrap us up here. It was in your brother's mouth. It was in my brother's mouth.

When my brother was freshly 18, I picked him up from the pub in my tiny little Ford Festiva and bought him home. But his best mate was with him and the position that my brother was lying on the back seat, his best mate thought it would be hilarious to teabag him. Sorry, in your Ford Festiva. In my Ford Festiva. Not the Festiva. I'll take a tea bag at home, but not in the Festiva. How did he maneuver that?

They're not you. That's tricky. That's it. My brother's like six foot three lying across the backseat of my tiny Ford Festiva. So his best mate had to drop his pants outside of the car, back his bum in the back door over the top of my brother who was lying there with his mouth open. And he bagged him. We've got it all on film. We've got Spados of it.

So, Keanu, when he comes to, because obviously he's passed out blind, the next morning, were you showing him the vision? What was his reaction? You know, it wasn't showing him the vision. It was sort of a, have you got a pub stuck between your teeth? Is that dental floss or is that a pub? So he started freaking out. Why have I got pubs in my mouth? What happened to me?

And then we showed him the photo, yeah. Oh, my God. The best friend must have been living the rest of his life in heightened anxiety because you want vengeance after that. Well, he tried to, my brother tried to organise something similar for his best mate. Was it also in the Ford Festiva? Yeah, soup kitchen in the Festiva. I don't think I could have fit all of them in the festival. K Alfa Bugs

On hit Alfa bugs 30 seconds 10 questions all starting with the same letter I have to take your first answer cannot use the same answer

twice and if you aren't true the question just say pass of course we come back if there is time we're playing for $10,000 our player today

we've got Caitlin hello Caitlin Hello how are you We got her We got her We got her The Caitlin Because we had a couple

of other Caitlin's We're like No you're not the Caitlin Today we've got The Caitlin The Caitlin One only. Babe, what are you going to spend $10,000 on when you win in about 30 seconds time?

Yep, vision therapy and new glasses. Vision therapy. Now, is that like the laser eye surgery or what's vision therapy? No, it's like you have to work out your eyes. So I have double vision. So it's kind of like my eyes are doing a wall sit all day long to make single vision. And so you just have to, I don't know, it's a lot of money. You have to get your eyes fit essentially.

Okay. Yeah. It's eye gym. Yeah. Yes. Okay. And that wouldn't be cheap. Is 10 grand going to cover it?

Well, I have quite significant problems. So we'll see how much therapy I need. Geez, I want to get into the eye gym game. Sounds like it's lucrative. Seriously? Go here. Just look that way, look this way. All right.

Class is done today. Up, down. $10,000 please. Your eyes are getting stronger. All righty. Well, Caitlin, one thing stands between you and some better vision. It's the letter P. P for problem eyes.

All right. Okay. You're ready to rock? I'm ready. I'm ready. There we go. It was right there. It was right there, Kailen.

Anyway, sorry, enough about. You ready? Let's go. Come on, your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter P, we need you to name, a girl's name. Penny. A flower. Peony.

A country. Peru. A soft. drink. Pepsi. An animated character. Pepper Lupu. A shape.

Pindergram. An adjective. Pass. A Harry Potter character. Pass. A party food. Pizza. An action film.

God. Good player. I thought we were on there. Real good player. First six were four. Flying. You ended up with seven. I did have one question over shape.

Pentegram. Technically, it is the star shape, but I don't know if that's technically... Yeah, is Pentagram an actual shape. It's just a thing. Pentagon. Yeah, I thought you were going to say pentagram. Yeah, I don't think it is. It might be... Look, I'm not after that with my shape. Like, is that just what that symbol is called.

Yeah, it's a geometric shape. There you go. Okay, Caitlin, there you go. What are you been worshipping in your spare time, Caitlin? Not eyes. So you did get seven. An adjective could have been powerful or patient, Harry Potter character. Tougher one, deep cut.

Percy Weasley or Peter Pedigrew. An action film, I think you would have got it. You just sort of ran out of time. But point break is up there, power ranges. There's a few. Look, Caitlin, you are very, very good. You don't get the cash. I'm sorry for your eyes, but you do get $100 suspended crocs.

Oh, cool. I like that. Positive. And a jizz bit, a Jessandako jizz bit. Yeah, look, my girl's excited because she's wearing her crocs and socks. Oh, there you go. You can add our little jisbit to the crox.

Love that for you. Thank you, Kailin. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. Have a good day. You too. It's been so polite than they lose these days. It's been fantastic.

Some wonderful manners. Yes, or great manners. If anything, that's what you're winning at. Yeah. Manners. You're not getting 10 grand for that, but we appreciate it. Speaking of winning a life, Up next.

Anna George are in here. I told you the crazy story when I was in getting me sued of Rundles and they said, hey, we've got an old, like an 80-year-old wedding. George, he's marrying this guy, this girl, sorry, who was married to his brother. His brother's passed away and now they're together. The wedding is in October. You were talking about this. We didn't know names, we knew vague details.

The granddaughter called and said, that's my nan. That's Nan. We're going to the wedding. We said, well, we're going to need Nan's number. Yeah. Because we want her in. We want George in. They're here.

They're here. Coming in next. We're going to chat to him. We've got some presents for him as well. Yes, and Ducko. I told you a tale of a story I heard when I went to Rundle's tailoring. And they said, Ducko, here's a story for you. We had an older gentleman by the name of Georgian. Well, I didn't give me the name at the time, but they said he was an old gentleman in getting a suit. And he said he was getting married.

And then he revealed that he was actually getting married to someone who dated his brother. That's right. Who was married to the brother. And then they were getting married. And then had no further answer. or questions because it was only a second-hand story. I spoke about it on the air. We did a phone topic about getting with the siblings and yada yada.

And we have been inundated with messages. We then got the granddaughter call up from this story, Ashley, and say, hey, that's my grandma. That's right. Ashley rang and said, guys, that's my darling grandma, Anne. And my soon-to-be, you know, new grandpa, George. Yes. And we thought, well, Ashley, this is the most wonderful tale of love, not knowing any

boundaries. There's no age limit. And these guys are about to. celebrate a wedding next month, but we thought we had to meet them in person and invite them into the studio. Anne, George, good morning. Hello. Good morning, dear.

Thank you so much for coming on, guys. This is so cool. So cool. Now, Anne, did Ashley get in touch with you saying, Nan, they're talking about you on the radio? She actually said, she said, Nan, this is at 737 or something in the morning. Yeah. Your wedding is trending on 106.9.

You've gone viral, Anne. I said, is this good? It's a nice to trend. I hope Ashley told you it is very good. She said, this is good, man. Yes. She called in and said it was good. So can you give us a bit of a backstory then, Anne, before we enter George, who you were married to and then how you guys sort of met, I suppose.

I was married to George's brother, Bert. Okay. We were married for 56 years. Wow. And I had four children. And George was in our lives on and off during that time. Yeah. and spend a fair bit of time with us as a family, you know, sort of.

And then he went off and got engaged a couple of times and, you know, sort of tried to do his own thing. But then when Bert was on his deathbed, he said to George, will you look after Anne for me? He said it to you. Oh, I've just got goosebumps. He said that to me. Right. George, do you remember that moment having that obviously very sad and tumultuous time with your brother and being told or being asked, please look after my wife? Yep.

Wow. He just called me over to the... Anne had to go to the little girl's room. Yeah. And he beckoned me over. He couldn't talk very loud. Yeah. And he beckoned me over and he said,

well, you do me a favor? And I said, anything at all? He said, well, you see, make sure Anne's okay. Now, what's that like as a request? Like, was that somewhere where you go, obviously you want to do anything for him, but were there any attractions there before then,

or is anything like that? Or was it just like... Not really. Like Anne was my brother's wife. Yeah. And you were single at the time, George. Yeah, yeah. I've never been married.

Yes, you've never been married. So for your brother to do that. And when he said, look after, Anne, did you take that to mean, right, I'll check in on her and I'll make sure we stay in each other's lives? Or did you think, no, no, that means I want to be there with her and companionship and friendship? I just assumed to make sure that she was all right. It's needed any help. I'd give her help. Did, Anne, did George tell you this?

And you go, are you lying? Did she actually say that? So did it take you by surprise as well? It did, particularly when he proposed on Valentine's Day. Oh, you're romantic. You're romantic. So you get down on one knee. Yeah.

And in that moment, what were you thinking? What were you feeling? I'm thinking I've got to sit on this for a little while. So you didn't say yes right away? Not quite right away, but I, you know, I thought, yeah, why not? Why not indeed? Why not? I mean, what's not to love?

Oh, my God, absolutely. And his big problem was how to get me up off my knee when I finished. Hear the creaking coming up. You know what, George, I didn't want to say. As soon as I said got down on one knee, I always wanted to follow up with, how did that go for you? But what a legend was straight back up? Very creaky.

Now, at the risk of being rude myself, you don't have to answer, but can I ask how old you both are? I'm 85. 85? I'm 77. Okay. So what's it like at 85 and 77 getting married? Like having a wedding?

Fabulous. Yeah? It is. It seems to be the big ticketed show. It's the one that everybody wants to get. To be honest. Absolutely. When we had Ashley on the phone, we said, how do we score an invite?

Yeah. She went, well, you have to meet, you know, Nat and George. I can't just invite randums to the wedding. No. No, but even prior to the proposal, George, what was the courting or the dating? Were you going to the movies or going out to dinner? Or did you just go straight for the ring? He was like, well, I'm going to fucking around.

Can I borrow that ring? I'm going to re-give it to you. Yeah, yeah, is that how it was? Yeah, I'd just sort of something like, just sort of, you know, just happened, that's all. Amazing. And I've told her children, her grown-up children, that if ever they call me dad, I'll kick him. So they're going to call me Funcle George. Funkle.

Ah, the uncle. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. How was it telling the family that, you know, George had eventually got off the one day and we're going to have the rest of our lives together? They've loved him all their life. He's been their uncle. He's been their face. neighbor uncle, I think, all their life, you know, sort of so it was no problem.

And one of them said, like, we didn't see that coming. And I thought, you saw them all than me. Right, okay. So they thought there was something maybe in the wings happening. Yeah, probably, yeah. So yes, getting back to the wedding, it's next month. How has the planning? George, obviously, you got suited up at Rundles, who are good mates of ours, and dress.

I don't want to reveal anything, but how's that process being? I'm actually wearing a pants suit. Oh, you could pull that off. Not everyone can, but you can. Absolutely. Yeah. Now, one thing that upset me when I spoke to your granddaughter was the hens party. What was going on with the Bachelorette celebrations?

I didn't hear about any strippers. I didn't hear about a big boozy night. How are we celebrating your last night as a single lady? We've had a few nights out. We had a trip away to Tamworth, two hats off the country up there. Oh, yes. And we've had lovely celebrations, yes. Oh, okay, so lots of little ones in the leader.

Party? Any? No. No, no. I'd probably kill me. Yeah, fair enough. All the other grooms are gone, too. They're not with us. This is a man who knows what he's about. He knows what the relationship's about. Well, that's so wonderful. That's so cool. So the planning has been a really lovely process. How big is the wedding going to be? 110 people. It started off at about six people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very intimate. And now, let's invite. Well, I mean, there's two radio hosts trying to angle. We're trying to come.

Do you, do you, you're welcome. Oh, God, thank you. Do you have, do you have groomsmen and, uh, bridesmaids and the whole Kitting Hiboodle? Yes, we do. Yeah. Yeah, my daughter, Bernadette's a maid of honour. Yep.

Ashley and her daughter Emily are the bridesmaids. Oh, so you've got great granddaughter in the bridal party as well. Amazing. I've got a great grandson in the bridal party. He was in there with George getting the suit. Oh. Getting his suit done, the little fella. Fantastic.

And my son Christopher and my son David. Oh, that's a family affair. There'll be speeches and everything like that. It's a full, full on wedding. Oh, we're not going to have too much speeches. Speeches. It's, you know, sort of a 10-minute ceremony and then party. That's right.

Let's get straight to the party. What you must remember, we're old. This wedding starts at 2. It ends at 6pm. Now, can I ask as well? Because I'm obviously fascinated. You guys have some more mileage on me in terms of life. Does this sort of thing, at your age, I'd imagine, where friends are passing away or partners, yada yada, does it give you a new lease on life? Does it give you like a second wind?

It sort of does. Yeah. Yeah. Like, my family's not known for as longevity. Right. And I'm 85. Yeah. So.

That's a hell of an innings, George. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, I feel like a newborn baby. Yeah. Yeah. No hair, no teeth. I just wet yourself. What about you, yeah?

And getting married in a couple of years. A little weeks. What about you, Anne? Yes, it has. It's given me a new lease on life. You know, sort of we're going to travel and do a few things. You know, mostly in Australia now. Yeah.

You know, we're going down to Handorf for October Fest and then we're going on the Great Ocean Road. Fantastic. Well, speaking of travel, Jess. That's right. We weren't sure what honeymoon might look like for you guys or even really what you were interested in because I didn't have the privilege of knowing you until today. But we just thought what would, what something we might.

of like, you know. Something close enough that's achievable as well. Yeah, in those throes of you've just been married, that honeymoon bliss where you want to block out the noise and just enjoy each other. We would love to gift you two nights at one of our favourite places in the Hunter Valley

with the most exceptional meal at EXP restaurant. It's a two-hatted, unbelievable. Most exciting dining experience, it's fantastic. Truly, Frank Faulkner is a lot. That puts a smile. Yeah, there he is. He's going to look after you, George. He's the most exceptional chef in his whole team.

So a couple of nights. nights away to enjoy each other's company, a beautiful meal. And then there's maybe something a little bit more... Bit sexy. Bit cheeky. You know, our friends at Mink's Adult Boutique got in touch and said, well, we need to sort them out for the night of the wedding or whatever that may be. If you've had enough rest, a $150 gift pack from Mink's Adult Boutique as well.

A couple little toys. You can explore your leisure. A couple of feathers, maybe some handcuffs, whatever you guys are into. You explore at your leisure. Put a smile on my dog. Don't lose the key, okay, George? Yeah. Chase around the block.

No, you guys deserve it. That is all yours. It's such an incredible story, and people have been so attached to it as well. So we're very happy for you guys, and thanks so much for coming on and being open. It's been nice to talk to you. It's marvelous.

Jess and Ducko. Get out there and live it. It's right, out. Come on. You've got to live your own. You hurt the duck, man. Someone was starting their day, being like, oh, today's going to be a couch day.

I'm twiddling my thumbs. And then they just heard that speech, and they went, right! Kick the door in. Gone on, ready to take this Tuesday, by the fuck. There'd be someone out there who just did exactly that. Absolutely. Good on you. Today's not a day to flounder.

Yeah, yeah. They're going to go into work and give their boss the finger. Why not? Remember that story? The woman who called her boss a D-head got away with her. So it's free reign now. Free rain, baby. Yes, it's going on in your street.

This is a street of high jinx. Living next to rentals, man, nightman. Nightmare. We've already called the council on one of them. We've got weird things happening in the garage of Kath and Kim every couple. They invite me to look at their hedges. Take of that what you will. Hedges.

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, you should bring your baby over. I was like, my child is not going anywhere near your house. But I will come over for another cup of tea and a biscuit. You keep that roller door up, Kath. And they were like, bring your wife. I'm like, she doesn't want any part of this. It's just you and me.

She doesn't know where I am. I wander off and come into your greenhouse. You're like a cat. You just wander off. And Morgan just clinks your dinner and goes, come back, ducko. Come back. How do you get a cat? She's like, where have you been?

Yeah, you go pus, push, push, push, push. And they come. No, that's how you get. Oh, that's why. No, she goes to me, push, push, pooh, it's on. And then I come back, she goes, joking. That's right. Here's your whiskers.

Lucky, she's got that bell around you. I can never get lost in my street. Anyway, we, on Friday, right, we hear these like sores and stuff going off outside. I'm like, what is that? It's very loud. Obviously, the child's trying to sleep. Pam's barking, what's going on. Open the door to see our neighbours on the other side, not the girls of the car parking space.

Other side of the house. They have this, like, big tree that covers the front of their house and the side of our house where the street is. So basically, we have renovated our front lawn and put a massive fence up there to get privacy so no one can see in. And also their tree covers the corner of their house and their house. Thus, no one can see through, right? Okay, so you sort of liked that. Yeah, it added an extra element of privacy. It was obviously putting a lot of stuff in there, on their roof and in their gutter

and the tree was apparently a nuisance. We come out, they are chopping the whole tree down, the entire tree. Sorry, and when you say they, just the people who rant, like, were they workers? There was a worker. It was a worker. Okay, okay. And I come out and I go, what's going on with this tree? He goes, oh, mate, you know, I've just been called by the real estate agent,

because they're rentals. They want it down. They said it's annoying and there's so many leaves and yada yada. And I'm like, but it's going to open up my house. And he's like,

yeah, it's going to give a lot of street coverage. Like you're going to be able to see everything. I'm like, can you not do that? Can you cut their half down? But leave my half. Not my half.

And so it opened it up so much to the point now when you're in our front yard, you look up and there's this big fence we built and does nothing because to the right, you can just see everything. You're from across the road to the street. You can see into our law. You can see in.

You could see everything. That tree was actually doing a lot of work for you. But what, on their land, they got the say? They got the say. It's their tree. It's annoying because they're just rentals. You're like, oh, they don't even, like, they're not even permanently there. I know.

So one of those things, I remember renting many, many moons ago, and we did get a letter from the real estate via the landlord who'd done a drive-by saying, the garden is your domain. You must be cleaning up the garden or will punish you. Yes. So was it something like that. They're going, we're sick of cleaning up the freaking garden for a house we don't even own. They've obviously complained about it. problem.

Chopped down the tree. So then we're like, oh, whatever, let's just let it right out, see how it goes. It was so bad that day. Pam was barking. The next day we wake up and we're sitting on our deck having a morning coffee, you know, right before I tinker off for the day and wander down the street. And go on your catty adventures. Yeah, yeah.

And all of a sudden, we see people walking past. And it's just like... Oh, it's that? Oh, no. So you know what I did? I went to my new house, baby. Why did you buy a new tree? I went to Bunnings with no plan in in my...

I did get a sausage, though. So good. Oh, I didn't know. Cats liked a little sausage sizz. Here's one for you. Got the sausage before I went into bunnies. Oh, no, that's heinous. No, no.

And then I spilled the mustard all down my shirt. That's criminal. What an idiot. I was like walking around the aisles. And then I dropped my sausage on the floor in Isle 20. Onion spilling everywhere. We'll just dig down on this for a hot second. I know they, what, you could finish it in four bites.

But if you need to pick something up, your sausage hands. Well, then what I did, I wasn't even looking. I was just aimlessly wandering, eating, being like, I've got something to do here today. Morgan's at home. I'm like, where are you coming back? I'll be back when I want to be back. I'll be back when I want to, anyway.

So you just thought their solution will present itself when I see it? I got some of those, like, fake hedges that are like, that you can sort of stretch them out and you can taunt them out. Yes. And they can either go really wide, but then it's more see-through, or you keep them bunched up, right? Sure, like an accordion. Yes, exactly like that. I got those. I got some wooden stakes and I got some, like, industrial-grade zip ties.

And I put steaks into my thing. I hammered steaks into the ground. You've made a makeshift screen. Yeah, yeah, I zip-tied the gun. And look, I mean, you've got to understand. Like, it's not perfect, but look at the coverage. Well, that's hell of a coverage. Does it feel weird for you, though, spending all that money on your landscaping with real plants?

And now you've got fake plants? It's very annoying. Because your little lollipops or what they, your lily peels are going to take ages. That's the thing. Those things will grow above and they'll give us full coverage. It's going to take a couple of years. So, you know, anyway, I thought, I mean, me as a handyman, it's not bad. Is there an element where you're like these.

These young ones on the side have tried to cut down the tree. 24 hours later, old mate next door, put up a screen. They'd be like, oh, we just wanted to see inside his house. He's blocked us out again. You look like the funny, oh, I want the privacy. You look at it from their side. All you can see is 55 Zicktides. Just about done here, team.

If you missed any of the program, namely meeting Anne and George, couple in their 80s, who were getting married next month. Mm-hmm. Anne used to be married to George's brother. He sadly passed away a number of years ago. On his deathbed, Beck and his brother over and said, Look after my Anne. Look after.

So you got down one knee proposed. Well, they're a different kind of look after, but they look after. And now that they're getting married, the whole family's pumped about it. What started, George told us, as six people's going to be an intimate wedding, has now blown out to 110.

Fantastic. 112, because you and I have wrangled invites. Yeah, but I've got something on that date. I remember the date. It's clashes with something. You're going to need to clear that. Yeah, because they need an MC. I know.

You being MC to the stars. I'm going to do it for them. I'll do a parody song or something. Whip it out. Get that pit bull. Pit bull outfit out, I reckon. Oregon Ann would be a big pit bull fan. I'd love to see you do a bit of pit bull for them.

This one's for Burt. What are we bringing up to? I don't know, do we? Well, you have to go how they meet. I'll do some gear. Workshop that. Here we are again. I'm obviously celebrating.

Same family, different day. If you missed it, it's on the pod. There's also a video. Jess and Ducko on Instagram. You can meet Anne and George. Highlight of my day. Oh, mate, it was fantastic. Fantastic.

It was so good. A massive thanks to your tailor. Yeah. Who originally shared that story with you. More than just a tailoring. It's a gossip centre. Move over. Sorry hairdressers.

You think you're the gossip central. It would appear it's the tailor. Yeah, yeah. The boys love a gossip session as much as we do. I'm just still trying to think of my opening lines. I haven't got one yet. Something about being in your 80s, something about being creaky. But I like the idea of being back here again.

You know what I mean? Anne's back for the second time. That's right. 56 years. She was married to birth. I'm about like, the family's so good, you might as well have two. What are they feeding these boys? It's all good.

It's all good. What's like when George goes? This is stuff. Hey, I'll workshop it. Work shop it. This is not a great. I'm not going too well. No, but you've got your one-track pony.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got your sister's wedding. That's what we're focusing on. Yes, that's happening on Friday. That's coming up. So I appreciate. That's where all your energy is going. You are a busy boy.

You are a busy boy. I'll run you through a bit about that way tomorrow. She's done something my sister, which I have, it's a shade I've never seen on her. Yeah, you've been giving me a little, a little insight. Yeah. It's wild. I've never really heard this level being achieved. Yeah, no, neither have I.

Any bribe. This level of Zilla being unlocked. Yeah, so we're talking Zillot. Bride Zillow tomorrow. Is your mom listening? She's going to have a bellist. I think so, yeah. Yeah, I know.

Mom, don't listen tomorrow. She's probably getting her tan tomorrow. Yeah, she'll be busy. It's a big day for my mom, too. Oh, my goodness. The whole fair, it's the royal wedding. Make sure you tell you, can you message your mom? Make sure she exfoliates today.

Yeah. You want a good amount of time. Yeah. Between exfoliating and applying tan. You know what's funny. I will. I can tell my mum is nervous about me emceeing because... What do you're going to go road?

Yeah, yeah. Because I, because I, will go rogue and because she's like, you know, their family, you know, respectable and a big name. And I'm like, Mama, ma, ma, ma. You want me?

You want me? You get me. Don't put a muzzle on it. I'm going to go rogue. I'm going to do what I want to do, you know? Your mum's going to be side of stage with the big cane and try and hoinking you off stage. I know.

There's a few things I say, which are pretty risky at the start. And I said to Morgan, him, geez, imagine if there's tanks. Why, they are pretty risky. You've done it in front of Morgan. Yeah, Moor thinks it's great. She thinks it's great. It is funny.

It is funny, but like, it depends how seriously his family take themselves. Wow. I hope they lick it up by the time you're still. Hope they enjoy it. Anyway. Everyone, we're going to start with a shot of fireball. Now I'm going to go into my opening. Are you guys all drunk?

Great. Let's do this. There you go. We're out of here. Tomorrow's Wednesday. We'll be back then. We'll see you then. Bye-bye.

Bye. Can I pat your puppy? Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com.