Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Remember shuffling?

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Adam Elliott delivers his sports report, Ducko thinks his dog Pam is trying to sabotage his unborn child and we ask if you were PM what niche thing would you do first?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Gee, swings and roundabouts on today's show.

Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Covering obviously Alfred News. Yep. Biggest story in the country. And sport headlines with our friend Adam Elliott. It's good to have Adam back in. Very good. Yeah, chatting to news journos, chatting to Adam,

you know, then playing wordy-okey. And then playing wordy-okey and chatting to Babs. If that's not tampons and ladders, I don't know what is. Oh, I don't know what is. You know, that's, what a show. I had a real mum moment in the show, Ducko, which I just can't wait for you to have moments like these and we can go, ah, you get it, I get it. Pulled a dummy out of my pocket.

I went, what's this bulge? You know, as I'm sitting, it's creasing. The shit you'll pull out of your pockets, that'll be in your backpack. You go, oh, Jesus. Where'd this come from? Where'd this come from? I don't need this. I'm switching cars today, so I had to do a quick clean out.

Mate, dirty nappy. I don't know where that the hell came from. Just wheeze. That's that stench. But you go, Jesus, I've got to clean out stuff more often. Also, we need to actually settle down on the spider. Oh, let's circle back. You were fucking right.

Yeah, because Angus went out with his tough work and turned to you, Carla had a spider, and we go, there's no way in hell he found that. I did a whole break. Yeah, how good he was. To me, it was really putting some balance back in the universe because who do I shit can more on this show? No one. Angus cops it.

Shy guy, but yeah. Well, the shy guy does, but he's paid. Angus isn't paid. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I want it to come on and literally do. I know my partner loves me when he dedicates a portion of his evening in the dark, puts a head torch on to go hunt for a huntsman. With a tub of container.

And then he came and said, I took care of it. He said, got it, honey. Shy guy and I straight away went bullshit. And it's funny. Didn't you say you saw him throw something in the bush? No, no. He said, because I was inside. So I got on ice right away and went, bullshit. Didn't you say you saw him throw something in the bush? No, no, he said, because I was inside. He said, I took it. I took the Tupperware, but obviously he didn't need to bring the spider inside.

He got it, shook him out into the bush, didn't kill it. We need spiders for the ecosystem. I was literally the next day, Ducco, took my, we do. If we didn't have spiders, we'd be overrun with bugs. Okay, let's not dig down on that. Let's keep going with the story. Okay, Dev out. It's a podcast.

We have time. But I literally was changing Lucia's nappy in the boot of the car the next day. We'd gone to a park. She'd gotten all wet. Thought we need a change before we get driving on. In the fucking corner. Yeah. Under the little wells.

It was there. It was there. You sent us a photo. Big boy, man. And we were just laughing our heads off. So what did you say to Angus? I thought you might do this on air. I basically was like, come to Spears Point and help me.

What am I meant to do? Did you say, you liar? Oh, here's one. Was he saying, that must be another spider? He didn't. He just went, oh, it must be back. I don't know. Let's just crawl back in there from there.

No, no, no. I lie, I like, I like. You know what he said to me? He goes, I never told you I got it. You just heard it. And I was like, I'm so sure you walk back in. I think he's tried to say to me, I couldn't find it. And I've interpreted that as it's gone.

Would you rather it be an additional one? So that means that there was potentially two there before or the same one? I'm happy for it to be the the same one, because it feels like... It was funny, though, because it was just straight away me and Chuck are like, there's no way he found that. No, he did. I did. And then that happened.

Because, you know, Angus is a very capable man, and he usually executes, but obviously I misinterpreted, or he just straight up lied. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So in the moment... You should have done that and come back on air and gone, when did your partner lie? You know your partner doesn't love you, when? Yeah, yeah. yeah. Yeah, so in the moment. You should have done that and come back on air this week and gone, when did your partner lie? You know your partner doesn't love you, when?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I panic. Lucky I've got so much crap in my car, like old nappies and stuff. I have this trolley cover thing, so when you put the baby on the little seat part, she's not sitting on trolley. It's like a big mat thing, I guess you'd describe it. So I got that and used that to usher the spider into this little well in the pocket of the boot and covered it up with that.

Oh, good on you. Yeah, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get it out. They're so fast. What am I meant to do with the baby? I can't just have her on the side of the road. She's run off. So I'm holding her, pantsless.

I hadn't changed her yet. Trying to deal with this spider. I thought you meant you were pantless. Yeah, me too. That was my first. I was like, why are you pant. I hadn't changed her yet. Trying to deal with this spider. I thought you meant you were fabulous. Yeah, me too. That was my first. I was like, what were you pantsless? I was like, cool. I took my clothes off and fucking down there.

That's not allowed near parks. No, yeah. You can't do that. Shaga knows that all too well. But the whole drive home, the whole drive home, I'm looking in the rearview mirror and turning around because I thought, all I'm going to see is this huge huntsman come over the back seat and get on Lucia. I'm going to have to pull over, stop the car.

But now you're giving the car back. Exactly. Aha, see you later. Well, no, once I got home, I said, right, I'm coming out to watch you. Oh, he came out and did it again? He came out and did it again, and we watched him. Was the spider under the thing still? Yes, because he said, do you think it would still be there?

I went, I don't know. Spiders can get into the tiniest nooks and crannies. It may have escaped. So I'm not getting back in that car until we have proof of life. And it was still under there. It must have been shell-shocked or just thought, this is cozy now. So yeah, proof of, okay, it's on the ground. There's nothing worse than when you're like, a spider's on your wall or something and you

hit it with a thong and you sort of half kill it and you think it's dead and then it keeps scurrying and you're like, oh my God. Cockroaches, unkillable. So yes, they just get off their back and just wiggle away. Where did you go, you motherfucker? Yeah. But that was, it was very funny to receive that text. That was, yeah.

And I'm glad I got a good picture because also this is the era we live in. It was big. Had to take a pic or you wouldn't have believed me. So whilst I'm trying to protect the baby, I'm like, quickly take a picture. Yeah, quickly get the photo. Big, big. It was big. It was a big one.

Scary. Yeah, it was a big spider. Oh yeah, the worst. I had to, we had wasps, a wasp, like, hive or whatever in our backyard. And it was like there was heaps of them. They weren't doing anything to us, so I let them go for so long. But then they started to fly around more. I mean, wasps will go, won't they?

Yeah, and they're bad. And so I had to go get, like, the spray. And, like, I was just like, at first I pondered, do I get a lighter and torch them? Is that a thing? That's fun. It's a bit of fun. As they fly away on fire. Burn the family.

No, I then spray the entire nest and you just, there's something, you feel sad watching them die. There's an element. And I think that's what it is about spiders. They're big enough that they feel like animals in the sense that, you know, you wouldn't do that to a rabbit or a dog or whatever. It's like they're big enough. The tiny ones you just squish. Yeah, see you later.

But the big ones, particularly wasps, some of them are gigantic. They're huge and they don't have to take the nest away. I watched a video the other day. It was a wasp catcher man. Oh, wait, I watched that too. Are you talking about the tub? Yeah. Was it vinegar? I don't know. Oh, yes, I saw that as well. It's like this is a way to get rid of wasps.

Our algorithm. a duck line. You put vinegar in a Tupperware container. Was it vinegar? And then you put it underneath it and they all just get attracted to it. I don't think it has to be clear, but this happened to be a clear little bucket and he held it over. Yeah. And they were all attracted to it, but essentially flying to their deaths.

Yeah, died into it. And that way he was then able to remove it safely. But, you know. He needed a bucket of vinegar, though. I just spray the shit out of it and they all died eventually. Right. Did that not piss them off? It was effective enough. I was worried it was going to, but it was effective. Did that not piss them off? It was effective enough.

I was worried it was going to, but it was effective enough. Because that's the worry, isn't it? You just piss off the creature. And then one of them gets away and gets you. And calls for backup. Yeah, and they all come. Like the mafia. Calls its cousins.

We always get a wasp's nest at our house. Yeah, I've got a few. Yeah, it's ridiculous. I've had one rogue wasp in the house, but not a nest anywhere visible. I've been stung by a wasp in ages, but they hurt. Worse than a bee? Have you been stung by a bee? I've never been stung by a wasp in the house, but not a nest anywhere visible. I've been stung by a wasp in ages, but they hurt. Oh, worse than a bee? Have you been stung by a bee? I've never been stung by a wasp before.

Bees and wasps. I think wasps hurt more. I've been stung by bees before too. They seem like a bigger creature. Bees are a bit more like, ah, it's annoying, but wasps are like, yeah. Speaking of bees, I started watching Meghan Markle's show. You know, the one she's copying all this shit for on Netflix. It's like how Netflix just had to pay her out for her deal.

Legit. And the opening scene of episode one is her beekeeping. Oh, that's when you know you've got nothing to do. She's got a hive. That's when you know you're retired. And she's talking about using a bee voice. Oh, yeah. And having to speak in a low tone.

Is it a shit show? I really like that shit because it's slow and nothing happens. Like, it's just calming. So I actually, she's copping so much. She is. She sent me a meme from that. It was very funny. It was like her talking about her cooking and stuff.

And it's like when that one unemployed friend on a Tuesday at 9am. That's definitely the vibe it gives. Even I haven't got to this episode, but I'm seeing memes about apparently she opens a bag of food and just puts that food in a different bag and labels it. It's like, she didn't make that. Too much time on it. Yeah, she does. It's just, you know, that numb viewing when you can't decide. When you've got the hot dinner in front of you, you go, I'm just going to put this on.

It's like putting Friends on or Seinfeld or something that you've seen a hundred thousand times. We tried to watch a new show on Netflix called Ghosts. Is that with? Oh, it's no one I knew. There's that new Robert De Niro show on Netflix that I want to watch. Oh, that looks awesome. Yeah, I want to watch that.

Something city. Yeah, something city. Where is the ex-president? Yes, yes. No, see, that actually looks good. But I thought that's going to need thinking. Yeah, serious. I put this ghosts one on.

It's this couple who inherits this old mansion, but it's got ghosts in it. Oh, yeah. And she knocks her head and can start seeing the ghosts. I've never watched a worse show. Oh, man, there's some shit out there. So that's worse than Meghan Markle's thing. If you want a worse- Have you started season three, White Lotus?

No. I've fucking beaten. There's three episodes. That's good. I've got to work on it. Oh, do you watch it? I watched the next episode last night. Yeah.

Is it good? Yeah. Are you really enjoying it? Yeah. It's getting tense. It is getting really tense. It's getting that typical thing where it doesn't really feel like there's much going on. Do you miss Tanya?

When he lets the snakes out while high? Oh, yeah. No. That was crazy. Oh, that much going on. Do you miss Tanya? When he lets the snakes out while high? Oh, yeah, no. That was crazy. Oh, that was fucking wild. Do you miss Tanya? Jennifer Coolidge? No. Not really.

I thought that would be a big hole in the show. It's just such a good show. It just moves forward so well, and it's just so quirky, and the characters are so out there. I can't believe when they killed her off. But this one is certainly, I don't know if you'll like this season, because it's more anxiety-inducing. It is. That's why I didn't enjoy season one.

It was so anxiety inducing. I finished the episode, I feel like nervous for the characters. Yeah, so did I. I was getting a bit stressed. And to not then have a complete drop, it's week by week. Yeah, it's week by week. That would make me anxious. I know, I kind of like it.

I like it. Something to look forward to. And then we all watch it at the same time. We can discuss pop culture together. It's not just like a binge. And theories and stuff because I have theories. When I watch it after it's all dropped, will you remember episode three? We can come back and revisit

this conversation. You start now. You'll be able to watch three pretty quick. Yeah, I know. But you know me. If something leaves me on a cliffhanger, I need to Google what happens to calm myself down. If that information's not available, I'll just be highly strung. Yeah. Anyway, it's like having a wasp loose. It makes me anxious. It's like trying to

surprise Jess with presents. You can't surprise her. Don't do it. She doesn't like it. Exactly. Yeah, doesn't like it. So don't do it. So don't surprise me.

Just tell me what it is and then. But if you don't surprise her, you're a dick. Yeah. Or get me something. Yeah. But just don't surprise her. Yeah, we'll get you something. You're not a dick. I just want to be known.

I'm sorry. Dick was aggressive. It was aggressive. Dick is an aggressive term. You're not even here for my birthday this year. Someone scheduled their baby's birthday the same. So you're off the hook, brother. I got off on the Friday before.

And then your birthday's on the Tuesday. I better get a Twix. So, yeah. Still, don't forget about me just because a baby's coming. I'll still send a voice note for the radio. Hey, Jess, happy birthday. Life at this birth sweet. Because the guy taking over from you.

Ooh, there is someone coming. Oh, we haven't yet. Yeah. We haven't. We all get them on for a chat while I'm still here, I think. Well, I remember going coming. Oh, we haven't yet. We haven't. We all get them on for a chat while I'm still here, I think. Well, I remember going on mat leave and you got Ash London. We did a bit of a handover. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'll do that. I think we should. I actually know this bloke from way back when. But we've not really spoken since. So what's the camaraderie going to be like? He is going to be in for a rude awakening when day two of his shift is Jess's birthday. It is. You're going to really need to have prepared. Talk about a handover. We're going to be in for a rude awakening when day two of his shift is Jess's birthday. It is. You're going to really need to have prepared. Talk about a handover.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to leave him to get the team gift. Oh, that's fantastic. Because between Shy Guy and Babs, you have been with me the longest. Yeah. Even they haven't been around as long. Last year, I gave them the, guys, Jess's birthday, big day in the calendar year. And Babs nearly fucked up buying me a lime tree.

Turns out it grew into a lemon tree. It was risky. It was a lime tree. Turns out it grew into a lemon tree. Turns out it's fair. It was risky. It was a risky point. Fuck off. Hey, man, it looked like a lime for a long time. We all hate making mistakes in this team. That's something I've noticed about every one of us as individuals.

Yeah, we've got high standards. High standards for ourselves and each other. Yeah, you also cop shit if you do something wrong. By each other, but also no one's harsher on themselves than each other, like each one of us. Absolutely. So we're pissed off at ourselves, but annoyed. Absolutely. And I would rather it that way.

Because if we were just throwing shit to the wayside, not caring, no offense, shy, go give an it's fine attitude, where would we be? We'd be nowhere. So we're holding ourselves to account. Accountability. That's right. For birthdays, for births, whatever. Yeah. It's all the same.

For wordy oaky questions, for Friday bangers. Hey. Oh, I need a song. Tough one. Tough one. One sweet babs. Text me a song. Yeah, alright, I'll text you. And then go vote on the Instagram at Jess and Ducko. Very good. Vote for Babs. By the time you hear this, it'll be up. It's always in the same order every single week Ducko. Very good. Vote for Babs.

It's always in the same order every single week. Yeah, you've got to change that up. I'm sure I've got people who are going to catch up. Number one gets your vote. She's campaigning. Who wants to be number four? I'll take five bucks. No, it's me. I'm going to change it up.

Look at her. Everyone knows it's a killer song. They know who they want to sing. I reckon mine this week is going to give Babs a real good fucking run for her money. Yeah, I'm going to pick an emo song too. Yeah, yeah. What if I want to do that? You do that every week.

Yeah, that won't be new. Look at us all being friends. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Thursday team. Good morning. How are we all? Very good, thank you. How are you?

Good. Good, good, good, good. Good, good, good. We're tracking well. Multiple goods, excellent. Multiple goods, you know. The family group chat was popping off last night. They're obviously all in Brisbane and Queensland.

That's right, where you hail from originally. Yes. You've got them all up there. How is the sentiment? Well, it's funny because Far North Queensland used to cyclones, but not places like Brisbane and the Gold Coast. They're obviously all in Brisbane. I think Gold Coast would be affected worse, but lots of flooding and wind.

They're like tying their TVs down, taping the windows. So a lot of precautionary measures. I imagine the SES or emergency services are really telling people, these are the things you can be doing. Make sure you're doing them. Yeah, which is weird. That's never happened before since I've ever lived there. Totally.

So, yeah, they're all preparing for that. It looks like it's set to hit later today. We've got Kendall Gilding as well from Channel 9 on. She's at the Gold Coast. Talk to us about that. But I know a lot of our northern New South Wales listeners will be pretty heavily affected. Absolutely. We were hearing yesterday, you know, school closures and, you know, some emergency notifications around what to expect, that sort of thing as well in New South Wales.

So, wow, it's happening. It's happening. Alfred. Yes. Yeah, it looks pretty scary in the Gold Coast right now. So we'll keep you updated, obviously, in the news and throughout the show. But, I mean, we're getting little sprays of it where we are, but imagine the winds. Little random deluge, just so powerful and fast, but only for short amounts of time.

Could you imagine being in a high-rise apartment on the Gold Coast in a cyclone? Do you know what? My husband was saying he was watching some of the coverage because, you know, all the TV have sent their crews up there and that sort of thing. And there was vision of establishments open. Fair enough. You've got to run a business. But people just sitting on balconies and alfresco dining and watching these cyclonic winds. And he watched one TV crew filming what looked like a 16-year-old kid full steam a wetsuit with a surfboard. And then just the surfboard gets flung out of his hands.

The wind just takes it. You go, guys, what are you doing? Be like the Ellen Duckerts. Start taping down your TVs. Don't be doing this. People are still trying to walk their dogs in the rain and the wet. Yeah. Well, you know, it's that thing.

It's scary. Everyone's like, it's not going to come here. It's overreaction. And it's that classic thing. I can drive through it. Yes. I can keep going through it. Yes.

You should not. Yeah. You cannot. So, yes, please make the right sensible choices as best you can. Yeah, it'd be interesting to see. But, I mean, personally, I was like, you never get a cyclone in Brisbane, the Gold Coast. I know, it's unprecedented.

That won't happen. Unprecedented. Here we are. So we'll see what happens. I was seeing a lot of memes online as well yesterday. Obviously, he's called Alfred the Cyclone. Yes. And this week is the run-up to International Women's Day.

I was at, you know, an event yesterday for International Women's Day, albeit it's on Saturday. A couple of memes going around saying, of course, a man has ruined International Women's Day. I'm like, people are trying to find some funnies. I was like, I don't know about that. Alfred, he just got copped with his name. Poor Al.

It could have been Anna. It could have been, but it's not. How do they determine the actual name? I know they go through? It could have been, but it's not. Yeah. How do they determine the actual name? I know they go through the alphabet each time. Now, that's a great question. Is it just someone's turn at the meteorology office? Pulled out of a hat.

All right. Yeah. And it's like, you know, Barry, it's your turn. Well, I'd like to nominate my grandfather. Yeah, yeah. Name him after Alfie. Do you want to be named after it? Yeah. Is it an honour or is it, you know, he's actually pissed me off.

I'm going to name it after him. There's a predetermined list, A to Z, of what they're named and they just go in order. Oh, predetermined. And it's up to the country of origin to name it. Did this originate in Australia? Australia gets to name Alfred because it was closest to Australia. It's closest to Australia.

So we get to choose. We've chosen Alfred after Alfred from Home and Away, I believe. Whereas if it starts in Papua New Guinea, then they get to pick. Their bomb equivalent gets to pick it from their A to Z. Yeah, right. The Papua New Guinea bomb. But if it's, like, I don't want to say an iconic disaster, they don't name it.

They change the name. But how do they know if it's going to be iconic until after the fact? Well, they don't repeat it. So, like, I can't remember a bad one. Katrina. Yeah, so they won't use that name again for C. Oh, so Katrina don't repeat it. Oh. I can't remember a bad one. Katrina. Yeah, so they won't use that name again for C. Oh, so Katrina gets retired. Yes.

I think Katrina was K, but I understand the point you made. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're thinking of Katrina Roundtree. Like Cyclone Tracy back in the day. Well, that's exactly it. Maybe we never see Tracy. Tracy's done. She's had her run in.

Well, there you go. Okay, that's interesting. That is really interesting. But it's like a baby. You know how we often have that conversation of when you've pre-locked a name in. What if it comes out and you think that doesn't suit? It's a little devil child. So the bomb has already predetermined what if it doesn't suit.

But here we go. It's Alfred. Alf. Alf feels fun, though. Like, Alf doesn't feel like it's a threat. You know, Alf feels relaxed. But don't say that because then Alf might go. No, but Alfred. Oh, though. Like, Alf doesn't feel like it's a threat. You know, Alf feels relaxed. But don't say that because then Alf might go... No, but Alfred...

Oh, Alfred. Alfred feels threatening. I feel ya. Here's a fun fact from the Brisbane Times. Okay. It was meant to be called Cyclone Anthony. And that's what it was initially called, but due to the upcoming election,

they chose to rename it to Albert because they didn't... Alfred. Oh, my God, because Albanese. Because they didn't want going into an election. Anthony Albanese. They didn't want Cyclone. Anthony. Oh, my God. That would actually probably tarnish him somehow, too.

It's so human. Yeah, it is. It's so nature that we just have no control over. Humans are trying to get their fingerprints on it. Yeah, yeah. It was called Anthony for his first 48 hours. Anthony's rolling it. No, no, we count the PM.

The PM's office obviously made a few calls. I was about to say. He's called the bomb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doug's going, keep it, Anthony. The PR firm working with Alba was going, oh, absolutely not. That's like Corona with COVID. That's right.

The whole beer. Absolutely not. It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. There you go. That's fascinating. That is fascinating. It is so human for us to put a name and a It's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. There you go. That's fascinating. That is fascinating. It is so human for us to

put a name and a face to the natural disaster. So has Anthony gone back into the A rotation for next year? Anthony thought he was getting the call up. He goes, I've got to wait now. 25 more cyclones or natural disasters. Anthony's the real loser out of this.

Wow. Imagine being that cyclone, Anthony, waiting for you. You get the call up, then you get put back on the bench. So Elbow's going to win the election. We'll get to the letter P. He goes, now make it P. Make it Peter. Peter. Lance, that can stick in it.

Or it just comes D becomes Dutton. D becomes Dutton. It's just blatant. Well, anyway, we'll keep you updated throughout the show. Kendall, as I said, from Channel 9 joining us. But we do have a big show. Adam Elliott back on the show. For the first time. I'm hitting him with a Happy New Year, and I don't want to hear joining us. But we do have a big show. Adam Elliot back on the show. For the first time.

I'm hitting him with a Happy New Year and I don't want to hear nothing about it. I haven't seen him. Let's all let that sit. No one else say anything. We'll let Jess do that. I haven't. We haven't seen him. Yeah, but it's, we're nearly in.

What are we in? Oh, I talked to him yesterday. We are in March. Yeah. And you shouldn't. I didn't say Happy New Year. Yeah, that's because you're rude. Anyway, he is coming in.

When she says it, we'll just be quiet. Yeah, make sure you do it on air, not off. Okay. Well, that's weird. It's got to be on air. It's got to be on air. All right. But I'm excited to catch up with him.

Yeah, it'll be good to see him. And he has very exciting personal news. Yes. So I can't wait to celebrate with him. Yeah, that'll be fantastic. He'll be in a happy New Year mood. He will be in a very happy New Year mood. We've got Alphabox as well.

Your chance of 10K. We've got Wordy Oki on the show. Up next, though, call centres are using AI for hopefully some good. Okay. They're updating how they approach the call centres. All right. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Right now, we're ducking over to Teleperformance, which is the largest call centre operation in the world over in India. In India. So I imagine they've got many hats. Oh, plenty of hats. So you might book them in. Yeah, and they can do whatever. To be your representative in whatever industry or corporation.

Getting a call centre call is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. When you need customer service and you have to dial that 1-800-1300-131. You're locking in for a couple of hours. And you know it's going to be a long time on hold. Then they get through. Then there's that bit of a language barrier. They're not understanding your frustration. Maybe because, like you said, they do do so many different businesses.

They don't have a depth of knowledge. I swear to you, Darko, the last time I had to call, I could hear the woman go, basically, hang on a second and scroll through for the script. What is... Which script do I have to go off for this one? You know what I mean? They're not well-versed in everything they're doing. They're just reading off a piece of paper.

So Teleperformance, which is the largest call centre operation in the world, is now rolling out an artificial intelligence system that softens English-speaking Indian workers' accents in real time, which will hopefully make them more understandable to Westerners. Wow. So it's called Accent Translation. It's going to cost $104 million Australian dollars to roll out. They're hoping that this will, A, soften it, it will build customer relations, but also cancels out background noise,

things like crowing roosters, ambulance sirens and office chatter. I feel like I've heard three or four convos when I'm trying to hone in on my person. Because obviously, as you said, they're in a call centre. There's hundreds of people right near them. All doing the same thing. I'm hearing Greg's complaint call and the next person over, I'm trying to lock in on how to reset my TV. Roosters is a bit interesting one, though.

It feels very specific. It does, doesn't it? It feels like a very specific complaint. Does that mean that not all of them are in the big call centre? Like, they could be working from Johnny's farm? You know what I mean? Oh, my God. Well, WFH, COVID forced everyone to work from home.

Was that the same as call centres? It might be. You just set up your little home situation if you're on a farm or if you're in, you know, a bustling area with that sort of stuff going on. Shrika, can you tell me performance, how many employees they have? They have 270 core centres across 65 countries. Yes. Serving 76 other countries.

That's a lot. I don't have a total staff. Right. That'd be too many. I feel like they've bitten off more than they can chew. That's hundreds of thousands. That's so many. For sure.

So how's it going to work? You're now my AI expert. How does it work in real time? You know, AI that I know is chat GPT. I can ask it a prompt and it spits out my essay. In real time, is it literally almost hacking our phone call and then affecting the audio? It literally says that technology can neutralise the accent of the Indian speaker with zero latency. So they're not, it's not translating.

It's not like another voice coming in going, this is what they said. But do you think it'll sound more robotic then? That's what I'm getting at. It has to. It's like putting an audio veil on the person and then you have to get through that. Yes.

And it's meant to be softer. They say it's going to create a human element. It probably will take out a human element. I was about to say, it's meant to be soft. They say it's going to create a human element. It probably will take out a human element. I was about to say, it's already human to human. There's an accent and language barrier, but now you're adding a robot into them. Well, they said the highest complaints they get, apart from call wait times and stuff, is the accent barrier. Yes,

right. So particularly Australians saying, can't understand you. Yes. I'm hanging up on you. And God forbid you get someone, you know, real ochre from South Australia or whatever. They've got their own accent. Mate. Going on. Vodafone's out again.

What do you got for me? Mate, AI. I just saw as well they're going to have robots running marathons. So now we're just getting the AI of the robots. If my robot beats your robot on a marathon, is it like I beat you? And then your robot calls my robot and uses the accent translator thing to, I don't know. To talk. To dirty talk. To dirty talk.

Not dirty talk. Trash talk. Is that what you're calling them for? That's what your robot's doing. That's what your robot's doing. What are you thinking? Trash. Trash.

I want to make sure I understand you. Trash talk. It's a long day. You're home alone a lot. I understand. Jess and Ducko. I'm still. Oh, Cyril and Mary Jo.

Still into you. The device amongst the team, that tune. Yeah, yeah. One out of the four liked it. Yeah, guess. Guess who liked that tune. Yeah, yeah. One out of the four liked it. Yeah, guess. Guess who liked that little Butchered remix trance banger. Made me want to shuffle. Remember shuffling?

Yeah. No? Okay. Yeah, I do remember shuffling. I remember Eleanor Fayot. Yeah, go give us a shuffle. Nah, not well. Made me want to shuffle.

When was the last time you were in a club? Too long, Marco. Too long. Go in there and shuffle. When was the last time you were in a club? Too long, Marco. Too long. Go in there and shuffle. Get Cyril on. I'd love to take Cyril as my plus one. Go have that. Pam and King is and get some shuffle on.

We probably can't make that happen. Yeah, Cyril's very accessible. He's very available. April 15th, that's my birthday wish. I'll be on mat leave, unfortunately. You will be on mat leave. You'll come out of retirement, I'm sure.'s my birthday wish. I'll be on mat leave, unfortunately. You will be on mat leave. You'll come out of retirement, I'm sure. To see you shuffle.

I'll bring the baby. You are due the day of my birthday, but I'm sure Morgan will give you a leave pass. Come shuffle for my birthday. Why not? You've known me longer than you've known your baby. So true. So, literally, your loyalty is right. The baby won't know if I'm there or not for the birth.

She won't know. We could get anyone to hold Morgan, Ted. Shy guy, body double. Shy guy, you're going to have to step in for me in the birthing suite. So I can go shuffle with Cyril. We thought I might have. We didn't know that would be the reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. We don't have to tell Morgan. I'm still very on the idea of getting Shy guy in the birthing suite. It's just me, Shy guy, and Morgan. I don't know why. I think it would be so comical. You know how we're in the age of therapy dogs and support penguins and you go on a plane.

Who knows what zoo animal will be seated next to you because you can basically get away with anything if you say, I need it for support. Shy Guy is your therapy animal. He's my therapy animal. And in the birthing suite, I don't know where you need more support. So Morgan's holding my hand. I'm holding Shy Guy's hand.

And I have strung up fairy lights for you all. What are you doing, Babs? What are you contributing, Babs? She's shuffling in the corner to Cyril. Maybe we get Cyril to DJ. Pop my tires. Cyril can DJ while it's happening. That's fun.

You know, a lot of people talk about having a nice birth playlist. Yeah, we haven't made one yet. I was going to ask because you both are very into music, you know, record players and, you know, I know Morgan's a big Queen B fan, so that's great. We had some Kendrick on in there. Maybe some Kendrick. Is that the album you ended up getting her for her birthday? Yeah, the GNX album, the new one.

Yeah. You know, is there something that we can do, live version of these songs? Oh, that'd be good. Cyril in the corner. Cyril mixes Beyonce. Cyril mixes Beyonce to really keep the vibe high as Morgan pushes. While Shy Guy holds my hand. While Shy Guy holds your hand.

Everyone deserves a support person. If you end up in that Birthing Sweet Shy Guy, won't that be a pinch yourself moment? Definitely a pinch yourself moment. How did I end up here? How did I? When you got into radio school. We got one of those disco balls.

I go, what's happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What would you say to me? Would you just be giving me, that's fine. It's all fine. Don't overthink it, Morgan. It's all good. Darko, don't overthink it.

Morgan, listen to Darko. See, what a great. Sorry, of all the people in the room, listen to Darko. Not the obstetrician. I'm like, see, honey. See, honey, Shia said listen to me. Shut up, obstetrician. He knows. He read some of Shia said listen to me. Shut up, obstetrician. He knows.

He read some of the book that I gave him. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back to you, of course, if there's time. We're playing for $10,000. Our player today is Jay. Hello, Jay. Hello, how you going? Jay, we could not be better. We have the opportunity to give you $10,000 this morning. Are you ready?

Yes. That's good. People who say I think so. I'm nervous. Jay, I'm feeling confident. Let me give them a letter. I don't like that letter. Come on. Well, too bad. You're going to have to take it up with Babs. Post quiz. Yes. Jay, what's motivating

you today? What do you want to spend 10 grand on? I'd like to start a Christmas tree farm is what I'd like to do. The real pine Christmas tree. Are they pine? Yeah. Go chop down your own tree. You should do it, Mark. Kids are young and there's just not many places available. There isn't many, you're right.

Oh, my God. That's cool. Jay with the spirit of Christmas in March. I'm not mad about it. So you spend the whole year sort of growing it and then, bang, business is busy for about two months of that year. Yeah, so it's about a seven to ten year process to start from a seedling up to a full tree, but then you have crops that you rotate.

So yeah, I've always thought it'd be cool. How much would it roughly cost to start up a Christmas tree farm? Probably more than 10K, but look, it's a big starting point, so that's cool. Okay. That's cool. If you win today, Jay, just to inject a bit of J and D, I want to be a part of this. I want to be some sort of investor. Can we have a little corner?

These are the ones sponsored by Justin Ducker. Maybe, you know, just a little something. I'll take your money, for sure. Well, you're about to. Yeah, you could be. With the letter A, Jay. Okay. That's the letter you're going to work with.

Yeah. Oh, God. A is good. A for Alfred. Yes. I'm trying to think of a Christmas thing, but Alfred's really top of mind. Antler. Antler. Yeah, yeah, God. A is good. A for Alfred. Yes. I'm trying to think of a Christmas thing, but Alfred's really top of mind. Antler. Antler.

Yeah, yeah, nice. Thank you. Jay, you ready? I'm ready. Okay, your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter A, we need you to name a clothing brand. Essex. A periodic element.

Gosh, pass. A Disney movie. Oh, gosh, pass. A Disney movie. Aladdin. Something you see at the snow. Avalanche. A condiment. Pass. A country.

Afghanistan. A car brand. Yep, there's plenty of them. Pass. A vegetable. Artichoke. An instrument. I could tell you were a player as well. I know, periodic element right off the bat.

That's just rude. Avalanche in the snow is one of the great games. Great answer. Look, you walked away with half. You got yourself five. I think you sort of thrown in the towel a little bit. You knew Tom was going to get the better of you. Periodic element, that's tough.

Could have been aluminium. A condiment, aioli. A car brand. You said there's plenty. Audi, Alfa Romeo, Aston Martin. And an instrument, the acoustic guitar or Shago's favourite, the accordion. You don't go by empty-handed, though, Jay. You do get $100 to spend online at Hello Skin.

That is all yours. Thank you, team. Appreciate it. Jay, keep that dream alive, babe, Jay, you do get $100 to spend online at Hello Skin. That is all yours. Thank you, team. Appreciate it. Jay, keep that dream alive, babe, and loop us in. Yeah, let's have a go. I want to see the journey. Seven to ten years, Jay's Christmas farm. Yeah, that's cool.

Jay's Jingle Bell Christmas farm. Jay just goes, no, no, now the dream's dead. Oh, yeah. You killed the dream. I'm just going to go to work now. But anyway, that's fine. Oh, no. We could have been spreading so much more Christmas cheer.

Christmas cheer in March. But instead. But instead, periodic element was on the quiz. Aluminium. Aluminium, Jay. Enjoy work, Jay. Thanks, Jay. Good to get you on.

We play again late, though. We get to go again. Jess and Ducco. Boom, boom, boom. Everybody say Adam. Elliot. For the first time this year. Boom, boom, boom. Everybody say Adam. Elliot. For the first time this year. Happy New Year, babe.

What are we saying? Happy New Year. Merry Christmas. Oh, I didn't mind it. She said, I want to say Happy New Year to Adam Elliot. We're like, you can't say it. It's too far gone. I haven't seen him in 2025 just on social media.

You've got to say it for the first time. And you even hit Merry Christmas back. You were raised well, Adam. Yeah, he went with it. How are you? Good to see you. You smell good, as always. Thank you very much. Nothing's changed. I got a new Motorino delivery yesterday, so I got the new shirt smell going. Yeah, you do. You look good.

I'm feeling good. I'm disappointed I'm not playing this weekend, so I hurt my calf over the Christmas break, so I've been on a different trajectory to the team and my return to play is next week. I was wondering why, because I was like, surely they didn't just leave you out. There's got to be something going on there.

I've got the first home game will be my first game. So we play the Dolphins back here next Thursday, so I'll be right to go for that game. Well, that's a great little home game. Beautiful. Yeah, great. Okay, so NRL season kicked off. Let's get a bit NRL, then we'll talk about you personally. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so NRL season kicked off. Let's get a bit of NRL, then we'll talk about you personally.

Yeah, yeah. Kicked off in Vegas over the weekend. You obviously weren't there, but how did you find it? Any stories you hear from the players that were there? Yeah, I had a few mates over there. Mil had plenty of mates over there as well, so we were getting plenty of feedback about the whole thing. From all reports, it's just like a massive, on a massive scale,

it's a round one game, but it seems like a grand final. You know the stat I heard? Out of that Allegiant Stadium, which is, they had the Super Bowl last year and stuff. It's the home to the Las Vegas Raiders. That was the most beer they have ever sold, ever, at any game at that stadium. At the 60 minute mark. No, that's the truth. And they sold out and they had to get more in.

Is that because that's the most... That's what? That's all we have. Yep, that's it. Rugby League. Thank you, Adam. And they had the British Rugby League supporters there too. Wigan was playing and all that stuff.

But, I mean, one of the great stats. I was about to say, is it the percentage of fans who were Aussie and they're like, well, this is what we do. I think so. Rugby League goes hand in hand with having a nice, cool beverage. Exactly. Wow. That's pretty cool.

Americans don't know what hit them. Yeah, I think they probably got a bit of a rude shock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's Vegas. It's like the capital of alcohol consumption. I know. They did it way. I've heard so many times from people that travel over to America that they just can't

do it like us. Yeah. So it's good that we actually got on the big stage and proved them. Yeah. Proved us wrong. Proved them wrong. Yeah, come on. This is how we do it. This is how't do it like us. So it's good that we actually got on the big stage and proved them. Proved us wrong. Come on, this is how we do it. This is how we do it. Now, Priest, just for the nights quickly, you guys feeling good?

Everyone's positive energy? The chakras are good? The auras are feeling great? Yes, I love that line of questioning, Duggo. Everything's in line. Everything's in line. Lost me a bit there in the chakras. I lost myself, mate. I don't want to say that.

Duggo went and watched. Duggo was invited by a friend last week to go watch the planets end up in alignment. It's something that only happens every 60 years. So he's really entered the space. It looked like a star. Couldn't see anything. It was horrible. But anyway. It was dark.

It was dark. Everything's good. Me and Tyson Gamble both got, so obviously I've got one more week until I can play. Tyson Gamble's got a little issue with his back that he'll be out for a little bit longer, but he's had a really good pre-season, so he'll be out back quickly from that. Otherwise, it seems as though the team's at full strength

and ready to go, so everyone got through the pre-season unscathed. And yeah, the boys are excited. It's that time of year. Yeah. They've been training too long. We need to start playing. And I think our trial game against the Roosters sort of gives us good signs going forward.

Yeah. But in saying that, the Tigers have had some new players brought into their squad, a lot of new energy. There's been a lot of hype around them. There has been a bit of hype around them, hasn't there? Yeah, it's definitely not a team you want to sleep on, I don't think. Yeah. I think they'll come out with plenty of energy and, yeah, a little bit of a point to prove. So it's a big game for the boys to go down to Sydney and get it done.

Yeah, nice. All right, Ducco, so get that voodoo that you were talking about now that you're into that. Yeah, do that. Thank you. Now, we're doing something with you a little bit differently this year. We'll get to your personal stuff at the very end. We're doing something a little bit differently. So you're giving us a sports rap.

We've obviously got the NRL staff and the Knights team and you individually. But then we're going to play this. And you've got three top stories for us to roll through at sports. Take us around the country, around the globe. Whatever tickles you during the week. Yeah, we're international here. Oh, hey. Mr. Worldwide.

Strap yourselves in. The first story, straight off the bat. We've got the AFL being postponed. So the Brisbane Lions, they're supposed to be hosting Geelong tonight. Season opening, yes. Up there at the Gabba. Season opener, obviously a massive ordeal for them. But our little mate Alfred, Freddie, Cyclone.

I won't give him a nickname yet because we don't know how damaging he's going to be. But yeah, not to be insensitive around that. They've moved the game, postponed it, so they'll be playing that later on in the season at a date still to be confirmed. So I think it's a good move from the AFL. And I like that they committed to it early. Yeah, so that's not like they've moved it to the SCG. It's completely not happening. It's just not happening this week.

And it will happen later on in the season. So they'll have to find a place for that, which I obviously know as part of a schedule, it's really hard to do. It'll be hard for them to find that spot, but I do like how they've committed to it early. Obviously, for the fans, the fans are so pumped. I know. Round one comes around, it's the season opener.

It's a big game for them, obviously, to have it and to gather. Yeah, yeah. It's such a great place to watch sports. Yeah, yeah. I think that's a good move from the AFL, keeping everyone safe. Yeah, they've got that one in the back pocket later on in the year. And you've got one more for us. I do.

This one's a little bit different. This is getting international. So I've been a part of a game that's been cancelled, but it sort of happened during the game. I reckon I was about 11 years old. A bad injury happened to someone on the other team. The game got called off. Oh, they said, all right, no more fun today.

This is too bad. We can't continue. These kids are young. They don't need it. It's Sunday. Everyone go home with your family. It's a little bit different. Before the kick-off in a game in Germany, a game of soccer, or futsball,

the teams were warming up. The referee was getting ready. He was about to blow the whistle to start and one of the player's sons, a toddler, creeped over, kept getting closer, kept getting closer, and he just latched on, bang. Bit the referee on the testicle. No.

No, no, no. Hang on, before the game's even started. Before the game started. I understand he's a toddler, but it's not like he was upset with a call that was made against his dad. It's not retaliation. Imagine Lenny doing that to one of the NRL refs.

I could imagine Lenny doing that, yeah. Do you think, as a player, you have your favourite refs and maybe not, whatever, but do you think some of the players are going, hey, son of the NRL refs. I could imagine Lenny doing that. Do you think, as a player, you have your favourite refs and maybe not, whatever, but do you think some of the players are going, hey, son, there's a ref there. Go and just give him one as hard as you can. I reckon there's got to be a little bit of that. I reckon he's jumped the gun, though.

Probably was, all right, if that ref isn't on our side, if he's given too many yellow or red cards, you go over and show him what's what. And the toddler's so amped up, I'm going now, Dan! I'm doing it! I reckon that's the guy. You know, refs, they all wear the same coloured shirt every game. He's probably been in a game

previously and he's like, I saw my mum getting into him on the field. Let's get him. He's public enemy number one. They called the game off. They couldn't get another ref in. He's latched onto the cherries. If you were in the allegiance of refs, would you go on to replace him? No.

No. Remove the toddler. There's always another toddler coming. They couldn't get someone to sub in. So, yeah, the Taxi FC2 is the team over there. They got the game cancelled. You got the game cancelled? I don't think that'll be getting played later on.

Did they split the points? Sure they split the points. Yeah, boy around. Take one each, please. Now, mate, brilliantly done. Before we let you go. Yeah, that was fantastic. Yeah, we let you go, exciting stuff's happened with you and Millie, your beautiful wife now. Millie Elliott in the off-season.

She obviously wasn't playing for the Jillaroos, who absolutely pumped the UK, like 80 to England, 80 to what, 4? 90 to 4 or something. It's not ridiculous like that. And I was wondering why she wasn't playing myself. Imagine if Millie was playing. It would have been 200 to 4. Yeah, it would have been. Imagine if Millie was playing. It would have been 200 to four.

Yeah, it would have been. But obviously there were questions raised. Oh, my God, what's going on in the Elliot household? What has happened? And very exciting news revealed on social media, but from the horse's mouth. Adam, what's going on in your world? Yeah, it's very exciting.

Millie's pregnant. Yay! Something that we've been, you know, wanting for a long time, but obviously with her being an athlete, there's certain things that we've had wanting for a long time But obviously with her being an athlete There's certain things that we've had to put to the side and sacrifice And that's one of them Mills, she's someone that I think was born to be a mum She absolutely loves it

And she's such a great step mum to Lenny So I think it's really special and so exciting that she gets her time now So she has to obviously pick and choose Like this is the window I want to do it in because she's got to sacrifice her body. Yeah, it's one of those things with us, we don't really plan much at all. We don't have the chance to. She's just, everything she does, she picks up on the go and she's a go-getter like that.

But I suppose this is the one thing we have planned. And touch wood, it worked out really well. Yeah, well, congratulations. You guys are going to make a specimen of a job. My goodness. That's going to make a specimen of a job. My goodness. That's going to be an Adonis. It's going to be an athlete. There'll be some arguments in the house if he comes out

and doesn't want to pick up a football. We'll see how we go. Do you know what you're having? No, we don't. I just said hey. I was like, did you just do that? I keep calling her a little princess. I keep doing all this.

Keep changing. We're going to wait and find out. We're going to wait and find out. We're going to wait and be surprised. Oh, as in you're going to find out at the moment of birth? At the birth. That's crazy. I know, nuts. Do you know the due date or roughly?

September, mid-September. Mid-September. Final season. On April, May, June, July. We're about five months apart. Okay. They'll be best friends. Exactly, yeah.

How exciting. Oh, no, it's so wonderful. You are going to make amazing parents. Yeah, congrats. Even if your kid is into gaming. I mean, it will be. What a beautiful household to be coming into. So congratulations from all of us.

That's so, so exciting. Thank you so much. Is Millie well? She's feeling well? No, she is, yep. She's actually on her way to the Basin gym right now to go get a session done. Oh, the Basin.

Good morning, Paulie. Give the Basin a bit of a plug there. Yeah, good on her. Tough yacker. She's past the first trimester now, so I think she's starting to feel a bit better and looking forward to getting into some training and definitely looking forward to a bit more time around Newcastle this year too.

Yeah. And a lot less travel. And we're looking forward to having you around with us every week. Absolutely. Good to have you in, mate. Thanks for coming in. Jess and Zucko. April 15.

Yes. Great date to have a kid. Your birthday. My birthday is... My child's mate. Thanks for coming in. Jess and Zucko. April 15. Yes. Great date to have a kid. Your birthday. My birthday is. My child's birthday. Oh, my God. Has Morgan finished work? Today's her last day.

Shut up. Today's her very last day. Remind me. I need to get her something for that. Yeah, you should. Nice dinner. Yeah. At least a Twix.

You know how I feel about Twix. It's the ultimate gift. I'll give her a Twix. She's like, why do you give me a Twix? Jess said, you know. I would love a Twix. Can I have a Twix? I'll get you a Twix. She's like, why do you give me a Twix? Jess said, you know. I would love a Twix. Okay, I'll get you a Twix. No, that's a really, it's quite a momentous thing.

It is. And she's, because she's a nurse at the joint, she's pretty much got a year off. Wow. So it's fantastic. You know, it's great they do that. It's good. Is she going to hang up her scrubs and not look at them for 12 months? Oh, she's, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's pretty excited, which is, yeah, I understand. She's very tired right now. But our fur baby, Pam, I've told you she's been changing a bit. I've told you guys that. She's been more protective of Morgan. But now she's started doing things where I think she's blatantly sabotaging it. Like, she's five years old, and she's acting like she's a two-year-old dog again.

Oh, my gosh, she's regressed a little bit. Energy levels-wise. So, like, I can take her for a seven-kilre run, which would normally zonk her for the day. I'll take her for a seven kilometre run and then she'll be up and about, ready to go again, wants to do something, will not let us out of her sight. Boy, I'm ready to go, daddy. Play with me, daddy. And then she's very much latching on to me because she can tell Morgan's compromised.

Yeah. She's got another thing going on here. Yes. But it's inside her. He doesn't another thing going on here. Yes. But it's inside her. He doesn't have anything going on. I'm going to suck up to daddy. But she's acting like Pam, you know, she's a sad girl, but she's acting more depressed than usual.

She's anxious. Yep. She's got multitude of health issues. Yeah. So many. She's on so many pills. So many pills. Her coat is so soft.

Okay. Yeah, so many. She's on so many pills. So many pills. Her coat is so soft. Okay, so the amount of audible sighs we're getting in my house right now are ridiculous. From Morgan and Pam. I love the memes about the dog giving you a sigh, like it's just worked an eight-hour shift in the mines. Yes, paying rent. Pam is just audibly sighed, and then Morgan will audibly sigh, and they'll both sigh together. And I think Pam's picking up on Morgan's mood. Yes, they are very empathetic creatures.

Yes. And then she's getting into that like, oh, woe is me. And like, then I've got two people on the couch. I've got two things on the couch just acting like... And you can't give the dog a bowl of ice cream. No. All the comfort things that Morgan has been requesting.

You know what I did? The Viennetta. You can't give Pam a slice of that. You know what? After I gave Morgan my Neapolitan ice cream, you know what I did to Pam the other day? She was hot. So I got ice cubes. I rubbed them on her belly.

You did not. I did. Because I read that. That's good. Did she present to you? Yeah, she cocks her leg. She cocks her leg. The few times I've been over and you give her a little pat, she goes, no, I want it here.

Yeah, she presents. She does it. She presents. So I just rubbed the ice cube on her belly. Yeah, she presents. She does it. She presents. So I just rub the ice cube on her belly. Oh, my God. See, you're feeding this vicious cycle. I know. I'm working overtime here.

You understand when the baby comes. There's no time. Skin baby? Sorry, my apologies. When skin baby arrives, there is no time for ice cube rubbing on your little poochie. My sweet angel. Because the baby, not I want you to rub ice cubes on your kid, but I'm saying there will be other things compromising your time and ability.

I think you're setting the bar too high for Pam. She's going to get used to this treatment and then get pushed to the wayside. Next week we're setting the pram up and we're taking her for a walk with the pram. Good, good. Like a practice, a demo walk. Maybe get a baby doll and we'll do that. Love that. Have you set anything else up around the house?

Not yet. We're doing it after this weekend. All right. I love that. When Morgan goes on mat leave, we're going to set a bunch. Morgan told me next week's going to be the busiest week yet. When your baby arrives in your bedroom, you're going to have the bassinet with a screaming child. You've got the dog in the bed. Is anything in that regard going to change? Because that's now four entities in the one bedroom. And you know, if Morgan's doing midnight feeds, the baby comes in the bed. You know, it's all there.

Yeah, it's all there. That's a busy bed. Yeah. Maybe me and Pam will sleep in the other bed. Okay. We'll just split up. No, you need to do, you know, like the couples in the 60s. They wanted to be in the same room, but they just have single beds.

You and Pam in one single and Morgan and the baby in the other single. But at least you're in the same room. Jess and Ducko. These words are my own. Word up. The words right out of my mouth. Word-yokey. Sweet Babs is in studio.

She is going to give us a word, any word. Ducko, Shaga and myself have to sing a song that has that word as a part of its lyrics. Yes, we do. I got some more stats for you. Oh, here we go. Shaga hasn't won since the 23rd of January. Oh, okay.

It doesn't feel that long ago. It doesn't actually. I don't know what that stat like is. To be fair, I didn't think he'd won this year. Yeah, okay, that's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. I enjoy that Babs and Stats. And that's the end of the stats. Babs and Stats is just trash talk. Yeah, it is. I love it. Yeah, yeah, it's good. The sky is the stats.

You know what I'd like to see? You know when the WWE wrestlers or the MMA fighters at their weigh-ins and they get up in each other's grills and they're shouting at each other without actually touching? I want to see Babs and Shia go head to head. Shia would just laugh at me and look down. Yeah, yeah. At the weigh-in. At the weigh-in.

All right, let's riff and tear. All right, first word is head. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Head, head. Get out. Heads will roll. Ah, heads will roll. Off with your head.

Off, off with your head. All right, good job. Dance till you dance. You saved that then. You said heads at the start. Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you. Point to Ducco. Next word is ends.

Ends. Ends. It all ends with us. Ends, ends, ends. Split ends. Only ends. Ends. Make ends meet.

Make tomorrow. Ends. What is it? Ends. Ends of Make ends meet. What is it? Ends. Ends of time. These. The S on the end. The S is really tough.

You could have had Green Day, Wake Me Up When September Ends. Yeah. What else? That's it. I just have to postpone their concert because of the cyclone. That's right. In the country at the moment. Yeah.

All right. Next the country at the moment. Yeah, yeah. All right. Next word is never. We are never, ever, ever getting back together. Wee-hee! Nice work. Another place to go. Hello, Swifty. Yeah, here I am.

Eric. Come on. All right. So Jess and Shagai need to get a point to get back in the game. Yes. All right. Next word is smile. Smile like you mean it.

Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun. How easy is that? The killers. The killers. Brandon Flair. Nice work. Thank you.

Point to Jess. All right. Next word is soon. Soon. Come on home soon. No. Soon. These are tough words this week, Babs. No, I won't be Soon, soon These are tough words this week, Babs

It's okay Soon Soon, if I keep singing it Soon I got nothing, you guys nothing Better be home soon I kept thinking home and soon Better be home soon You guys had Better Be Home Soon. I kept thinking home and soon. Home, yeah, yeah.

That's a great song too. Better be home soon. All right, Jess, if you don't get this, out of the game. Ducko wins. All right. All right. Ready? Next word is bites.

Bites. Another one bites the dust. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Jess is back in the game. Shaga, you are out. Yes, for the win. For the win. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Nice. This is back in the game. Shaga, you are out. Yes, for the win. For the win. Are you ready?

No. Come on. Come on. For the win. All right. Next word is fast. Oh, fast car. Tracy Chapman, fast car.

You've got it. You've got to sing it. Fast car. Can I? Fast. Is it wrong if I steal it off you? But he said it. You've got to sing it. Fast car. Can I? Is it wrong if I steal it off you? But he said it. He's done it all. I know, but.

Tracy Chapman. What is it? I can't even think of the words now. Fast car. Fast. I've got a fast car. I'm in a pickup truck and I've got a fast car. That feels dirty.

Go again. Go again. Go again. Okay, feels dirty. Go again, go again, go again. Okay, clean sweep. Go again, go again. Ready? Last word is DJ. DJ got us falling in love. That's really out of tune. I know it is, but DJ got us falling in love.

Okay, you've had heart for the past two. I'll give it to you. Well done. That's our wins. Who's that by? He's at Usher. Usher, yeah. I was going with that Robbie Williams DJ,

but I couldn't get a threat either. Rock DJ. That was very out of tune. Even I couldn't hear my own tune. DJ got us falling in love again. DJ got us falling in love. I can't even get the song because our system sucks. No, well done, son.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Welcome to Thursday. Now, we know, of course, we've been touching on it most of the show you've seen ever on the news, but Cyclone Alfred, this thing is getting pretty out of control, obviously. Far north in New South Wales now, Byron looking for impact,

but mainly on the Gold Coast as well. Maroochator all the way down to, yeah, Koolangatta. This thing seems to be getting pretty bad. Absolutely. So we are crossing live now to Today Show reporter, Kendall Gilding, who is on the Gold Coast. Kendall, what is the situation as it stands right now? Jess and Ducko, good morning.

Look, we've been travelling from the northern end of the Gold Coast heading south to Burley. Honestly, the cyclone is still 300km off the coast, but already we're seeing so much scarping at the beaches. The surf, we're seeing maximum wave heights of 8m. So the Gold Coast is getting pumped this morning. And at the moment, the latest tracking map of the cyclone is showingfred slowing down so his arrival could even be friday night into saturday he's taking his time to get here which just kind of means more and more damage to beaches in between now and then ironically a little patch

of blue sky has just popped out we've seen a rainbow now. So at the moment, we're contending with kind of heavy rain that just comes and goes. But it is that swell here if you're on the coast that everyone's keeping an eye out for. Also, the Gold Coast is really prone to flooding. So 6,000 properties here are on the lookout for that high tide and the rain that is expected to come over the next couple of days. So with Alfred slowing down, that doesn't mean he is going to have less impact. It actually means it's going to make it worse. Well, potentially with any tropical low or cyclone like this, the longer they hang out over the water, it's almost like fuel for them. So if it mixes with heat, that moisture just means they can actually intensify. The Bureau of Meteorology's latest tracking map actually has him downgrading to a cat

one when he crosses the coast but honestly it's just way too early to tell he could he could actually you know intensify and be beyond a two which has been forecast for some time now so i think they're just being conservative it's really hard to see exactly what's going to happen there but as you know with a with a cyclone it's the bottom side of it that's the most intense, where the strongest winds are, the heaviest rain, and it's tracking to go over Brisbane. So yes, Gold Coast, kind of anything south of here, even to say Byron, they're the spots that are potentially going to be worst hit based on that current model. Absolutely. We were seeing one of your colleagues in northern New South Wales talking about school closures, talking about even evacuation warnings.

What is the latest standpoint for locals in the most affected areas or at least forecast affected areas? Almost all southeast Queensland schools are completely shut. They just want people at home today and tomorrow. And really that's not just about kids not going to school. It's about keeping people off roads. So today's priority is just stay home, prepare your house. A lot of sandbagging stations are now shut.

You've been able to get sandbags for days, but it's kind of past the point of that level of preparation. They just hope that you're at home doing what you can to just keep off the roads. A lot of hospitals are only now doing really necessary surgery. So all elective surgeries have been cancelled. The Gold Coast Airport shut yesterday afternoon at 4 o'clock. Brisbane's actually still open. So there's selected flights getting in and out of there, but it's up to each individual airline as to whether they take passengers or not.

They get to make that call on what they do. No doubt they'll probably pull up stumps on that pretty soon because I don't know about you, but I don't want to be taking off in 70K winds. No, I'd rather not. I'd rather not. Now, Kendall, I know you're from Brisbane. I grew up in Brisbane. My family's all there.

I was just trying to explain to the guys off air before how weird this is for, say, residents in Brisbane because, you know, far north Queensland is used to damage and cyclones and stuff, but places like Brisbane, the Gold Coast, not used to this at all. It must feel really eerie. Ducko, I'm from Cairns originally, so, like, I've been through so many cyclones I couldn't count them. Right, yep. And it is weird because in Brisbane everyone just doesn't know

what to expect. Like, there's just no history for most people of, like, oh, yeah, we know what it feels like. We get really intense summer storms here and they rip through and they come with winds as powerful as this cyclone could have. So to an extent, people have felt the punch of something like this. It's just that a cyclone can be really prolonged. So it can start to have an effect 30 hours before it crosses the coast and then still linger for hours afterwards.

So I think that's just the unknown for a lot of people. They'll kind of go, some people might be sitting there going, oh, this wasn't much. And other people might be like, oh my goodness, when is it going to end? My house is creaking and rattling and things. I mean, I live in a hundred year old Queenslander, so I'm a little nervous, I'll be honest. Fair enough, as most be honest. Fair enough. I bet. As most people would be, absolutely. Yeah, well, Kendall.

Daco, I saw your dad taping his windows yesterday. Yeah, he was. He was taping his windows. He taped up his windows. I thought, good on him. Extra preparation. I know. That's why I found it quite funny.

He was taping all the windows, wondering if it was over the top or if he needed to do it. No, I don't think anything's over the top at this point, is it? Yes. No. Well, Kendall, you're doing a great job. Thanks so much for joining us. Appreciate having you on. Pleasure, team.

Yeah, good luck with it all. Thank you. Jess and Ducco. I had to apologise to my father yesterday. I sent him a text saying, Dad, I don't think I appreciated you. I don't know if I respected your skill set growing up because I had a real moment with some amazing women yesterday. I was emceeing an International Women's Day luncheon in Lake Macquarie and the keynote speakers that we were having a bit of a Q&A back and forth

were the youngest ever contestants slash winners of the block, Maddie and Charlotte, from last year. So, quick back story. They entered the comp a little bit later. There was the block, Maddie and Charlotte from last year. So quick, quick backstory. They entered the comp a little bit later. There was some drama, a couple bailed out, they get brought in, but they go on to win the whole damn thing, taking home $1.65 million. So youngest ever contestants ever. And so they're up there talking about women in business, women in male dominated fields

and sort of got into their history because they're young. They're only 23 and 25 now, but they got into the property market at 19 and 21. They've always loved the block. They've always loved reno-ing. They've always thought this could be in our future together. But I thought, what happened in your youth that gave you this appreciation for saving, for money, financial literacy?

Where did that come from? And Maddie went on to explain that her dad, their dad is a mortgage broker and their surname's Harry. And he set up the Harry Bank. And it was basically an Excel spreadsheet. And as early as five years old was teaching the girls, so that $20 you got from Grandpa for Christmas, let's put it in the Harry Bank. Oh, yes. And we can have a look at the interest that you make.

And interest is basically free money you get when you are good at saving. And that $50 you earned from babysitting when you were 14. Oh, he's teaching them. Let's put it in the Harry Bank. And all these very simple things for children to understand has set these girls up for an appreciation for money, for savings. They were able to do these extraordinary things, and they gave their dad a lot of credit. And I just looked at them and went, my dad is also in finance. He's a financial advisor.

And oh, my God, I couldn't tell you one thing about tax, about money, about saving, about interest. Did he teach you those things? He tried, Ducker. I know he tried with my brother and I, but I went, I certainly didn't have money to save. It goes over your head sometimes. It really does.

I mean, what's the difference between your dad sitting you down and drilling it in and you appreciating it, and poor Rob Farsh just absolutely getting pushed to the wayside. Yeah. And now I have to call my dad every quarter going, what's my super? And how does this work? And how does that work? Like a freaking child.

Those things would be so handy to know from a young age, but not just knowing, handy to take on board. Like, I think if I got taught that too, I don't know if I would have taken on board. Do you have to be porous? Yeah. You have to be willing, because the girls obviously were willing. Yeah, to take it on. Look at the success that they've gone on to have, that they credit, you know, mum and dad too. Yeah. You have to be willing, because the girls obviously were willing. Yeah, to take it on. Look at the success that they've gone on to have, that they credit, you know, mum and

dad too. Yeah. But yeah, I was like, my dad, I think my dad tried. He tried. And I just wasn't. Dad, I don't get it. I want to do it. I've got to go on the block and win and create this empire with my sibling.

I don't think you and I are wired that way. Something just tells me deep in our DNA. Yeah. As much as they tried, it was never going to happen. It was not going to work, no. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer.

10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, you can say pass and we'll come back. If there is time, we're playing for $10,000. And our player today is Tammy. Hello, Tammy. Hello.

How are you going? Excellent. Tammy, we've got $10,000 to give you. The question is, are you going to take it off us? I'd love to take it off you. Okay. What do you want to spend the money on? So I've been really influenced by

social media and I want to make the kids a really awesome cubby house with, you know, the deck on the side and, yep. Like a full cubby. Full cubby, little rock climbing wall to get up, slide to get down. Tammy, you could play in the cubby as well. rock climbing wall to get up, slide to get down. Tammy, you could play in the cubby as well.

All families in there. Put a flat screen in there, some air con. That's nice. Why not? We're all in. Oh, I love that. The joys of social media, Tammy. Like, I'm going to need that.

First things first, let's win Alpha Bucks. The letter you're going to work with today is W. W for winner. Okay. Okay. All righty. That's pretty good. It's pretty good. That is today is W. W for winner. Okay. Okay. Alrighty. That's pretty good. It's pretty good.

W is a good letter. I think so. It might feel all back into the alphabet, but there's a few good words. And all you need is 10 of them. Tammy, are you ready to rock? Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter W, we need you to name a brand. Wait.

Pass. A phone app. WhatsApp. A superhero. Wonder Woman. A celebrity. Whitney Houston. Something in the shed.

Wilbur. A lolly. Pass. An appliance. Pass. A kid's movie. Pass. An appliance. Pass. A kid's movie. Pass. An accessory.

What? An adjective. Walking. I don't know. Oh, no. It's a verb. Look, I know. We don't get the cubby.

We've got ourselves five. Did you pay Wee Pigs? Well, that's what I wanted to discuss. I was panicking about whether I go back to that because I heard Weet-Bix. Weet-Bix, is Weet-Bix a brand? I think it's Kellogg's. The brand is Kellogg's. Oh, no, Sanitarium.

Yeah, so Weet-Bix is actually the, like. This is the same as Melania's. I don't know. I was happy to pay it, but I wanted to discuss with the team. It's like the brand. I more meant she said the whole thing and then said pass. Yeah, she said pass, but we had to take the first answer. You said Weet-Bix and pass, so technically we had to take Weet-Bix.

Is it a brand or is that just a type of? It's trademarked, so. It could be a brand. Okay. I want to pay it. And there's multiple versions of Weet-Bix. There's the multigrain, there's the regular, there's the high fiber. All right.

Weet-Bix is a brand. You got yourself six. There's the multigrain, there's the regular, there's the high fiber. All right. We Fixies are brands. You got yourself six. A lolly could have been a warhead, an appliance could have been a washing machine, a kid's movie could have been Wreck-It Ralph or Wally, an adjective is wacky or wiggly. There's a few there, Tammy. Don't go by empty-headed. $100 to spend at Hello Skin.

That's yours. Oh, perfect. Thank you so much. Kids aren't getting a cubby house, but mummy's getting a little facial. That's what we love. That's what we love. Thanks, Tammy. Now we do play again tomorrow at 6.30 and 8.

It'd be great to go into the weekend with $10,000. Jess and Ducco. 13.10.60. If you were PM, what would your first act be? That's right. There's an election around the corner. There's a thread going online. We thought it was a bit of fun.

That's right. You know, Dutton and Alba were talking about some pretty heavy topics. They're duking it out. They're talking about the economy. They're talking about some big ideas. But we want to know some specific things that if you had the power to introduce them, what would they be? Some Aussies have weighed in online. Big one, I think. This is a great one. Free sauce on pies. I mean, free sauce needs to be mandatory. Oh, I vote for that person. Yep. 100%. Paying 50 cents for that stupid little Master Foods

snappable squeezy. That barely comes out right anyway and you struggle to do it and you squirt it on yourself. Could I add supplementary to that? Yes. Mandatory. People eating dry pies freak me out. It's mandatory to sauce your pie. It's illegal to eat a pie dry and it's illegal to not give you sauce with the pie.

Yes. There we go. It's meant to be a partnership. You know what I to not give you sauce with the pie. There we go. It's meant to be a partnership. You know what I have noticed a lot of sushi places I go to now? They chuck in lots of soy sauce for free. They used to charge you for the soy sauce. So if the sushi joints are doing it, why aren't our sauce and pies and sausage rolls? This one's a good one, I think. National coffee cup sizes.

You've got small, medium and large. Oh my God. Regular wigs me out. What is regular? Yeah, I don't know. You've got to throw down someplace. They've got to throw down. They've got a small.

They've got a medium. They've got a grande. I'd also like, again, supplementary. All takeaway shops have your containers on the bench so I can see what a small, medium, and large looks like. Exactly. Because sometimes I think a medium will do when you go, that's for a family of six.

Your medium is humongous. How many shots of coffee in that? No wonder we have an obesity problem. This is a good one. Now, this is, yeah, ban oversized utes. So, you know your rams that get around? Like, they're huge boys. They take up a lane and a half.

I don't know how people park those. How can a bus fit in the lane but some of these utes cannot? Massive. How did they get into the country? Imagine driving through a shopping centre and trying to park in there. Great question. Public holidays to only fall on a Monday or Friday to make it long weekends always. I think that's fantastic.

I do like it but I don't mind a cheeky Wednesday off because it feels like it breaks up the week. That's good. My one, my cover would be a four day work week. Can we finally get it in law? Because right now it's business to business and managers and executives are just making that call. I think it needs to be mandatory

also. I like that. Mine? Yes. I've gone into the kitchen, shock horror. I think mandatory, every kitchen, Australian home comes with a pot filler. Are you familiar with the pot filler? No, can you please explain this? So it's a hot water tap sticking out of your splashback.

So when you need to fill up your pasta pot, you've got to tap right there. Instead of taking your pot to the sink or boiling your kettle, like I have to do, like a caveman, you've got out of the splashback just a tap. Tap right there. Boiling water. Sizzling into it. I think that should be mandatory. It's niche, but I like it.

My brother's in construction. I'm like, mandatory in construction. Make it happen. I would also like, can I nominate? Would you vote for me? Yeah, sure. Thank you. Batten, free sauce.

I'd like frequent flyer points to be made a thing from a young age, and you can accrue them really quick. Okay. And it can happen everywhere, everything you buy. Oh, right. Everything can have a frequent flyer attached. Not just some is flybys and some is velocity. Yeah, everyone who says, I've got all these points,

where did they come from? That's right. How did you get all these points? Every time you ask me about upgrades, I'll say, Angus, use these points, and you've called BS a lot. Yeah, points. It's not real. I go and do my shopping at Woolies.

I scan my card. I book my flights. No points. All I'm getting is discounts off my avocados. How am I getting a flight? Sharkov, you're a PM. What are you doing? Yeah, so when I watch TV on the apps, the ads are so much louder than the TV show I'm watching.

So I would put in, make the ads lower volume or at least the same volume as what I'm watching, please. Again, can I add supplementary? Gun fights in movies. I understand it's the gun, but it feels like they've just turned up your volume. Can everything just be equalized? But have you noticed some apps are louder than others? Like I can have my TV on 22 and it's good on Netflix, but then on Apple TV it's really soft or whatever it may be. Standardized volume.

Standardized volume. That's what we want. Not inflation. Frequent flyers. We've got standardised volume and pot fillers. Babs, this will be interesting. What are you doing? Putting all GYGs in Australia in my name.

In your name? Babs is GYG. Yeah, like I own them all. I just want to own them. Okay, you're not getting that. You're just taking things now. It's meant to be for the betterment of the people. What's this going to do for the people of the country? I don't know.

It'll make me happy, though. Not your guts. Not your guts. 13, 10, 60. Your PM. Your PM. You're in the office. Maybe you've got selfish motivations like sweet babs.

Maybe you're trying to look out for the people like the rest of us. 13, 10, 60. We've got those undies up for grabs. All undies should be made out of bamboo. Oh, that's a good one. That's my platform. We'll get you on, then. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Today we are all prime minister of our beautiful country we live in. That's right. Or at least aiming to get elected. Yep. What are the platforms with which we would go to the Australian people with? And we want to clarify. Just remember what show you're on. Okay?

Just remember that. Ducko came with standardised flybys, or at least frequent flyer points. And we all can get a head start on those. That everyone can really understand. Not this multitude of this credit card gets you this, this flybys gets you this. Universal. We all want upgrades.

Yes. I had pot fillers coming as standard in all new Aussie builds. You don't have to pay extra. No. That is just the Australian way. Yeah. So you can fill up your pasta pot easier. Just because we all need to do it.

You boil stuff. Yeah. Everyone does. Graham messaged in on the text line over at 888-106-97. What's Graham said? Bring back Holden. Hey, that's a big act as PM. If you can resurrect an iconic Australian brand,

let's bring back Ansett while we're at it. Why not? Let's see what happens. Let's go to Liana. Good morning to you. Morning, guys. Liana, you're running for PM. What is the platform with which you are going to get the votes

from the Aussie people? I reckon all car park spaces need to be bigger and all have the lights to tell you if there is space available or not. 100%. And I'd like the technology upgraded so when there's the tiny little Fiat, it doesn't say green just because it hasn't marked it. Or like a motorbike in one. Motorbike in one.

Liana, I love that. And bigger spaces would be handy, Liana. Yes. You're voted in. You're in. Yep, I vote for Liana. We go to Jessie on 131060. Jessie, you're the PM or you're going for PM.

What are you doing? Four-day school weeks. Okay. Okay. We like the four-day work week and the four-day school week. Oh, true. I'm keen for that. You're keen for both, the work and the school week or just the school week?

Let's just start with the school week. I'm already keen to wake up tomorrow and not have to do it again. So I thought perfect time to call and get my voice out there. Okay. Are you a teacher? No. No, I'm just a mother of three crazy boys. Now, see, this is an interesting question for you, Jessie,

because I would have thought school gets you some respite, but you want the kids home for an extra day. Well, my youngest one, Monday, was already counting down how many days until the weekend. And when I thought about it, I thought, well, it's a bit unfair, five days of school, running around and whatnot, and then two days of, yeah, just chilling at home or doing whatever. So he's counting down the days on Monday. She's going to get the youth vote. I see what you're doing there, Jessie. I mean, I know under-18s don't vote, but she's going to get the youth vote.

I love her. We've got a Nick on 131060. Nick, you're the PM. What's your first act? Good morning, guys. My first act would be bringing back plastic straws and cutlery. Oh, okay. Now, we're big advocates for the environment here, Nick.

I understand the bamboo and the straw suck. Paper straws do suck. The paper straw does suck. They're horrible. But are you just sick of the straws disintegrating in your mouth? Yeah, I think I get three sips into me Macca's drink and I'm pretty much pulling the lid off and drinking straight from the cup. Can we go as standard?

Again, like I was trying to say, pot fillers as standard. Can steel straws be as standard? Yeah. I'm worried about the turtles. Yeah, absolutely. Steel straws would be good. But I know Nick would have an audience voting for him. Absolutely.

Particularly the paper, the cutlery. The paper cutlery. Oh, Particularly the paper, the cutlery. The paper cutlery. Oh, jeez. The cardboard cutlery. Being worried your fork's going to give you a splinter. You know, like the wooden ones. Even feeling that texture on my mouth makes me cringe. It's like the tongue compressors.

You remember the GPs? I don't even know if they use them anymore when they try and go in. That's what they feel like. It does. Exactly the same. We've got a Chrissy on 131060. Chrissy. Jeez, you'd make a good PM, but what are you doing?

Hey, how you going? Excellent. Hear me out. So remember the Bart Simpson's movie or the Simpsons movie, whenever it came out, and Mr. Burns put a big dome over the city? That's right. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Well, Burns didn't do it. Let's get real. The Environmental Protection Agency did, but let's not get caught up in semantics. Okay. Okay. Okay. So over the city, over everything, it's sunlight, sunshine during the day, beautiful, beautiful weather. Over nighttime, open it up, let the rain pour in.

Only rains at nighttime. Oh, so now we're messing with my nature, but I see Chrissy's like, let's have our days and have all the elements at night. We're never going to get our weddings cancelled, sporting games, whatever it may be. You would have liked that, Daco, because your wedding was cancelled because of terrible weather. Yeah.

Couldn't have it outdoors like you originally intended. And now our baby showers, but our family can't fly in because of a cyclone. That's right. Do we dome it up? We dome it up, baby. A la PM Chrissy. Jess and Daco.

I'm a wuss, I'm a chicken. Confrontation makes me sick. And I'm a pansy, I'm a wimp. Awkward conflict makes me limp. So if this applies to you, we ask you to send through a message to join our chicken club today. You can always text the show, 0488881069. We get a lot of nominations on the text line.

Mums dobbing in their children, people dobbing in partners. Slide into the DMs if you wish. Jess and Ducko on socials, but unprecedented times. Yes. Ducko has pointed the chickeny finger back at himself. Yeah, I have a personal nomination. So it's happened all the way last Friday. I've had to wait till now to tell you guys. Thursday's a chicken day. I have a personal nomination. So it's happened all the way last Friday. I've had to wait till now to tell you guys.

Thursday's a chicken day. Thursday's a chicken day. So last Friday I went out to dinner for my wife's birthday or a nice restaurant and they do the classic. They get you a big wheel of cheese and they spread the pasta in there. That's right. Cacio e pepe. Cacio e pepe.

So the big wheel of pan regiono. Yes. And they kind of carve a well. Beautiful. A little bit of theatre at the table. Problem is, you guys know I hate truffle. I think it tastes like feet. Yes.

It's gross. I don't like the smell. It makes me gag. And in this era, everything's got truffle. Everything's got free truffle. Because everyone, I think, thinks, oh, this is bougie. Yeah. So truffle, oil, a shaving of truffle, essence of truffle.

You can't avoid that. I can't do it. And I've tried to do truffle. It's not like you with ham and eggs. Like, I've tried to do truffle, and I just can't do it, okay? Don't point no chicken finger at me. You point it at yourself. So then they come.

We said, hey, we want to get the cacio e pepe, but it is flavored truffle. They have the truffle paste on the top, and they mix it in. Can we not have the truffle paste so then Morgan can have that on the side, and we can do it separate? We can all get it. You can have truffle-less. They said, absolutely, you can do that. Another way it comes to our table.

And he goes, here it is, your ketchup, Pepe, with the truffle all over the top. And she goes, and now I'm just going to mix all this beautiful truffle in. And as she got the tongs and started mixing it, I was like, hmm. And I literally felt the words get swallowed. Couldn't do it. I was like, I was about to. And then Morgan looks at me.

Everyone looks at me like, oh, is he going to say anything? Are we going to say anything? And I just went, it didn't. Couldn't do it. I was like, I was about to. And then Morgan looks at me. Everyone looks at me like, oh, is he going to say anything? Are we going to say anything? And I just went, didn't say anything. Watch them mix the entire pasta with truffle. You're thinking, I'm leaving here hungry. I'm not going to eat that. Waiters, I find it's a big one. People get chickeny.

Oh, yeah. Because. Even a bit arsed. Do you think it's the power imbalance? They're standing and you're sitting. Possibly. So looking up at someone, it's hard to have. I'm going to tell you off or tell you anything.

Maybe. But this one was like the whole pass was ruined then if I said, no, I don't want the truffle in it. And I didn't want to be difficult. Oh, you're not sending anything back. No, it was Morgan's birthday. So I just didn't say anything. We just looked at each other.

I was just sinking in my chair going, don't complain, don't complain. I'll take an extra arancini. It's all right. But here's the thing. And this is the conundrum I wanted to get to. Because then I was like, I'll just have some because I'm here, I'm hungry. I had some, and I didn't hate it. Hang on a minute.

In fact, it wasn't overpowering truffly, and if I wasn't a chicken, I would never have tried it. Thus, I would never know that I actually enjoyed the cacio e pepe truffella. Beautiful, beautiful pronunciation. Thank you. Now, Zarko, we've done this for six weeks or whatever. Yeah. Every nomination has ended in despair because of the chickeniness.

Yes. You know, people are paying extra. Too much. They're wasting time or they're just copying something. Now, we'll stress. You're the first one who's had like a positive. That's what I wanted to talk about. So I will stress, I do still not like truffle and overpowering truffle sucks.

You're not now Mr. Truffle. No, this is just enough. And now if we go back to that restaurant, which Morgan loves, I can get that with her and we can share this moment together. So being a chicken actually helped me. I don't think you can be in chicken club. Hang on. I was a chicken.

Because all of us. You're kicking me out of the club. No, you can be in chicken club. Hang on. I was a chicken. Because all of us... You're kicking me out of the club. No, you're never in. You hear what I'm saying, though? All of us in chicken club with our matching jackets and jizz bits on our crocs... Yeah, chicken jizz bits. ...are wimps and we have no positive outcome. So we're all wallowing in our despair.

Yeah. You roll in going, I actually had a really decent meal because of my chickeniness. I think you've got to start a club of your own. Positive outcomes. Positive outcomes, chicken club. Positive outcomes. Like, Mitru got in touch and said, I've got a voucher for a discount cookie. Drove 20 minutes out of my way to get the discount, and the cookie was still $10.

Oh, that's horrible. That is not positive, even though he may have enjoyed the cookie, it was $10. It's not a positive. That's not a positive. You've got the only positive chicken outcome I've ever heard of. And it felt gross being a chicken. I was like, oh. You don't feel good.

You feel jealous. How do you stand up straight with no spine? That's a question we ask ourselves at Chicken Club. Every day. This is a conundrum. I don't know. Text the text line. 0-4-8-1069.

Does Taco get into chicken club? Even though he was a chicken. I was a chicken. But he got a great positive outcome and enjoyed a delicious meal. I like, whereas if that was someone like you, Hay, who didn't like the flavor, you just wouldn't have tried it. No, you know what I would have done? I would have wrapped it up in napkins, put it in my pocket,

tried to knock it onto the floor. Oh, pretend you are. You know, doing all these things. F pocket, tried to knock it onto the floor. Oh, pretend you are. You know, doing all these things. Faked an injury to get out of the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. I pulled the handmaid. Like, what? Why can't you eat your pasta?

No, I've got to leave. Sorry. Jess and Ducko. If you're just joining us, thanks for your time. It's lovely to have you, even for a short little while. For a short little period. We're about done here. Here for a good time, not a long time.

Yes. Hopefully you're staying safe no matter where you are as well for your cyclone rolling in. We caught up with Kendall Gilding from the Today Show on the show. You can listen to that on Listener or wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, she was sharing that she even saw your parents taping down windows. And they're in Brisbane CBD and it's kind of uncharted waters. I'm sorry to use a terrible analogy there. Waters for Brisbaneites not really used to these tropical storms.

Not used to it at all. I lived there for the majority of my life. Never had anything like this. Floods, yes. You know, rain and wind, but not a cyclone. So that'll be interesting to see how much of Brisbane, the Gold Coast, like it really does hit. Yeah.

And we're hearing obviously northern New South Wales affected as well. School closures, some warnings there about being safe and making smart choices, not trying to go out on the roads, keeping things clear. Yeah. It only takes like a couple of inches of water to float a car. We know that from previous years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just float it and forget it.

My mum and my sisters moved back in with my parents for the cyclone a couple of days. Oh, wow. But mum, because obviously mum will cook up some great food. Okay, let's bunker in together. They're going to lose the power. Mum's got all this meat. So her biggest worry yesterday was like, oh, jeez, what am I going to do with all the meat? I've got to cook the meat.

What if we lose power? It goes off. Yes. You know? We can have cold cooked meat, but what can I do with raw? So she's just cooking lots of food. She had lots of batteries for her torches and she was sending us all the things she had. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really preparing. Oh, yeah. They're really getting into it. Dad's there taping the windows. Yeah, good. Prepare. Make smart choices.

My sister was watching Desperate Housewives, I think, just chilling out. Okay, she's not as worried about the power going out. She's like, I can... I'll handle this. It happens when you go back to mum and dad's house, doesn't it? Yeah, I'll take care of it. All the responsibility falls back on them. Yeah, yeah.

Well, yeah, keep us updated with your family. Yes. Well, Kendall was saying from the news that it looks like it's coming in slower, so it might not be until Friday night now. Right. That it comes in, so we'll see. Okay, so it's picking up steam over the ocean. Right. Then it comes in, so we'll see. Okay. See what happens. So it's picking up steam over the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then might hit Friday. But yes, we will keep you updated across the day, of course. But we are back tomorrow. It's Friday. No dumb thoughts for the Friday morning. Make sure you're getting involved because it'll be your last chance to win those tradie undies. Yes.

$500 for some new underwear. Shy Guy and Babs' diary. Oh, my God. Going out for matcha today. Oh, yeah, diary day. Maybe a little almond croissant. You guys going to have your date? Never had matcha.

Stop ruining my illusion of what you guys do in your spare time. Mocha, froca, frappuccino. Absolutely. They go to a petrol station and splash each other with the diesel. Who's Zoolander? Shy Guy. Shy Guy, Zoolander, yeah, yeah. Babs' mugatu. No, no, Babs' whatardy. Zoolander. Yeah, yeah. Babs is Mugatu.

No, no. Babs is... What's... Oh, Hansel. So hot right now. Hansel's so hot right now. Give us your so hot right now. You're so hot right now.

That works. Good playing. You're playing really good. But you guys... I'd ask Shardy to play Blue Steel, but it's silent. Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, yeah. It's fine.

I also don't know the reference. It'd be... Oh, you've got to watch Zoolander. You don't know Zoolander? I haven't seen it. Come on. We're basically the same age. Do I play the youth card? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not playing the card. I just haven't seen it. I haven't seen Titanic either. Oh, my God. Derelict. Derelict. Yeah, yeah. I'm a mer-man, Dad.

Mer-man. Zoolander 1's great. Zoolander 2, eh, take a look. Yeah, could have not. Could have not. And you've got to watch the Titanic just because. No. You know?

I know what happens. It sinks. Do you know about Jack and Rose making love in the car? Yeah, Billy Zane dressing up as a lady to get on one of the Lifeboats. Yeah. One of the great pop culture references. Yeah. Does not thrill me.

Oh, goodness. What do you do when you leave here? What do you do? You don't have two hours to watch Titanic. Yeah, what are you doing in your spare time? What do you do? You don't have two hours to watch Titanic. No. What do you do in your spare time? Too busy making March up with Babs. Always. Always.

Hey, we're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. Made me want to shuffle. Remember shuffling? No? Okay.

Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's Fiery News Spicy Chicken McRab is even more reason for a Macca's Run.