Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Rings!

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

Jess copped a sick burn from her mother in law, Ducko thought he was famous at the footy and Producer Babs presents this weeks diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McRap is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Welcome to the podcast. The whole team's back. It actually was, that's a perfect segue because I came in at about 7.50, Ducco, and you were going to tell a little story and I wanted to commandeer and I went, no, no, I'll save it for the podcast. One, it's a bit yucky. And two, I want to give her a chance to just have a right of reply in a non live on air

moment. What did Babs do? So I went to the bathroom in that ad break and came in and I wanted to tell you this. Holy fuck. You should have heard the piss I just heard Babs doing in the bathroom I walked in Like a racehorse I've walked in and I could hear the funnel going

And I sat down And it was still going I didn't shit it was still going I flushed Washed my hands Not a break in this stream I'm fucking with you I'm washing my hands. Not a break in this stream. Unfucked. I'm washing my hands and I went, that must be a person.

You're going to do a number two and wash your hands. It must be that one. I washed my hands, dried them and went, that can't be a person. The toilet must be running. I've come around. I've come around, looked under the partitions because, you know, the doors don't go to the floor. There were shoes.

I went, that's a fucking person. That's a chick. The stream on this woman. No, okay. And I was, Babs, motherfucker, that's unbelievable. And then you're like, Babs, is that you? She stops for a minute and goes, what? I come around and she's not at her desk.

I went, holy shit, Babs must be so hydrated. That's incredible. Anyway, I've just looked at her shoes. And then Babs goes, I'm going home. I've just looked at her shoes. Yes, yes. Different shoes. It wasn't.

I was going to say. Who else? I don't know. Who had the stream? I don't know. Oh, I know who it was. There was only one other. What time was it again? I'll turn the mic on. I don't know. Who had the stream? I don't know. Oh, I know who it was. There was only one other. What time was it again?

I'll turn the mics off. Wait, wait, wait. But the shoes are kind of hipster. They were the big chunky Clarks. Is it new receptionists? Oh, it could be. Yeah, I think it's new receptionists. I've got to go look for the shoes.

Because I think you own these shoes and it was the chunky shoe with the jeans. And I know Babs is the only one who can pull that off. That's what I'm saying. At that time of the morning, I thought it's only Babs or down the hall and I know she doesn't wear those sort of shoes so I was just dumbfounded. Anyway, Babs, I thought it was you

and I was going to high-five you, sis. I went, holy shit. I was going to say. Impressive scream. That's a healthy flow. Yeah, no. No, she lasted longer than I was in there the whole time. And you can shit. Like, we know that. She lasted longer than I was in there the whole time. And you can shit.

Like, we know that. You know I can. You know I can. I thought you were going to say something because before you came in when I was in the toilet and I just waited till you left. Oh, okay. Was that the time you were in there? Yeah.

I know it's you because you go silent. What's going on with these toilets and our whole staff? Because, like, obviously you two have been sick and stuff. I don't think you had diarrhea and vomiting. No, no. I had no gut stuff. Did you show up? No.

No, because our promotions, I knew he was in the toilet shitting, and I was like winging it. Sorry for that. And he comes out, he goes, oh, I think I'm sick too. I've just been nonstop shitting. I was like, oh, great. And then our sales manager comes in like, I've been nonstop vomiting and pooing. I'm like, can you all stay home?

Is it the same thing that it's morphed on different people? I think so. I don't know. I'm so scared, though. I can't deal with spitty bombs. I know. Neither can I. Oh, when the. I'm so scared, though. I can't deal with Spittybomb. No, neither can I. Oh, when the floodgates open, Babs.

Do you reckon it's the same thing and it's just manifesting differently in each person? I don't think so. Or is it a bunch of different things? It's some form of viral infection. I did go to the doctor and he said that there was something going around. Angus and I had a debate because he goes, the loogie? And I was like, it's lurgy. Lurgy.

It's lurgy. What the fuck's a loogie? The loogie. Little loogie man. Yeah, loogie. He's like, it's Lurgy. What the fuck's a Lurgy? The Lurgy. Little Lurgy man. Yeah, Lurgy. He's like, you've got the Lurgy. If I don't get sick from this, listen, I'll watch. The worst part was the doctor wouldn't tell me what it was.

When you messaged me and said, I've seen the doc for the diagnosis. He's given me meds. I went, what was the diagnosis? And he didn't. He said, before I can do that, we need to go do some tests. And I was like, I'm sorry, I can't be bothered to go get chest x-rays and other shit. I'm not bothered. So he goes, I'll just give you the drugs.

I was like, thank you. How can you just give the drugs when you don't know what you're treating? That's how we have superbugs. And did you get antibiotics? Yeah, I got coding. He's on that coding. Can I have one of those? No, that's not antibiotics.

It's bacterial, isn't it? Yeah. What's antibiotics for? I don't think antibiotics will do anything for you. It doesn't get other stuff. Make sure you fucking finish the course though because when people don't finish the course

of antibiotics, that's how the bugs build resilience. You know where I reckon yours was from? At my baby shower, you had four Coca-Cola full sugars.

That is how you got sick because that's crazy for you. That's like me having 78 beers. That is... What's your point? I should have been bouncing off the walls, not curled up in a ball.

You were up till 4am. How many fucking beers did you have? A lot. A lot of drinks. And I had a lot. I even thought, jeez, I want to be flat. On Monday, I'm going to be so crook. And it turns out I was fine.

Yeah, well, I also drank on the weekend too, and I'm fine. We didn't drink enough. We didn't drink enough. We didn't drink enough. What are we learning here? Drink beers, don't eat Maccas. Get didn't drink enough. We didn't drink enough. What are we learning here? Drink beers, don't eat maccas. Get drunk. Get drunk.

I feel good now after my three-hour break. Hey, it was a fun show, though. Really fun. First team back. It was like first day back at school. Totally. It was nice to see you. It was good to see you.

I got excited. I saw everyone's cars in the garage. In the garage? Where are we? In a parking lot? Car park, yeah. Yeah, car park. That's what I wanted. Okay. Fuck you guys. I had a the garage. In the garage. Where are we? In a parking lot? Car park. Yeah, car park. That's what I wanted.

Okay. Fuck you guys. I'm having a big week. No, no. I don't. No, no. I'm having a four-hour sleep tonight. No, my issue is not on you.

My issue is why bring that up? Sorry. I know we had a go at you for your eyebrows, but that wasn't necessary. Yeah, either was my eyebrows. We're meant to be a team. Garage, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman. Yeah, it's like we live in a mansion. Also, remember, it's not eyebrows.

It's eyebrow, sweetie. What? Eyebrows? Enjoy the show. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to Friday. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do we have a Jess today?

Hello, good morning. Do we have a Babs today? Good morning. Do we have a Shy Guy? Morning. We did it. It's a royal flush. Good morning. Do we have a Babs today? Good morning. Do we have a Shy Guy? Morning. Yay! We did it. It's a royal flush.

Oh, we were all, I came in, saw everyone's cars. I nearly had a tear. Oh, my God. When I saw the Mazda, that pristine Mazda. He cleaned it while he was sick. On the car park next to me, I went, ah, the bitch is back. The bitch is back. Bitch is back. The bitch is back.

The bitch is back. The bitch is back. The bitch is back. We missed you for wordy-oakies today. Yeah, I heard it. Oh, you heard it? Yeah, I mean, we had some theories about you, but we did miss you. Did you hear our theories that you're throwing the games now? You're throwing in the white towel every game. Oh, no, I didn't.

That was not part of the podcast. Nice, Babs. It definitely was. Alright, I might have zoned out. Alright, in your Neurofen-enhanced drug coma, maybe you missed it. It's okay. Tell everyone why you couldn't come into work yesterday, what you did. With the pills.

Oh, I took the night medication in the morning. Oopsie. So I just fell back asleep. Oopsie. That's okay. Oopsie, he's out. You know what? He needed more rest.

He needed more rest, and it's wonderful to see you. How are you feeling? Solid. Yeah, okay. That's good. That's better than fine. I don't know if that... Well, I'll say that.

I think fine is his hundo. Fine is his max. So maybe we're just a notch off. Fine. However, what I have just witnessed out of the corner of my eye, Ducko. Yes. I've got some drugs. No.

We've got a new method of hydration. Yeah, I've got a new bottle. Look at this Stanley Cup knockoff. It is a knockoff. I couldn't afford a Stanley Cup. Who can? It's a Rebel Sport number. Oh, yeah.

It'll still knock you out of here. It's still $60. It's humongous. I've never seen you drink water. Can I see it? This is the first time. Wow. It's just a black water bottle.

I am. Good on you. Hydration is key to health. I've got some hydrolate in there. Oh, look at you guys. Good. I'm proud of you. Because we've got our big listener lunch today.

Will you be there? We do. I'm not sure yet. Oh, okay. Maybe what he's doing, Duncan. Oh, I see what you're doing. Just building the intrigue. I'm going to go, oh, I'm so sorry.

See how this three hours goes. Sure. But, you know, somebody listed us a message in. Is it real? I want to see it. I know. That was 60% of the entries was, I just want to know if the hype is true. The serpent man, is he coming?

Which I don't know what they're thinking this lunch is going to turn into. Well, last lunch he got bailed up to go back to someone's house. That is correct. Well, no, she got to go back to his house. She was very kind. She was like, I'll go back to yours. We can meet in your, everyone wants to be on their home base. Just go, shy guy.

Was that the one that came in the wedding dress? Yeah. I was just pushing it, too. It was a white dress. She was lovely. She was. Good morning, I know you're listening. Yeah, she's great.

Rice cooker. Well, let's see who we meet today. Yes. But, yes, let's just put an asterisk there. I don't want to be rolling in, because I'm very excited for our first lunch of 2025, Ducco. Oh, yes. I don't want to be rolling in thinking we're about to get swarmed with love.

Yeah, and then. And everyone's just flat. Because Mr. Guy is a no-show. What if we get him a mask and he just rolls in and he's like, no one touch me, but I'll be here. Like a gimp mask? Yeah, I was thinking you can buy it. Babs, do you have my gimp mask currently at a Shaga?

Have it. Yeah, fine. I already got it. Oh, he's got it. Well, can you just wear it? I wore it to the doctors yesterday. Wrong mask. It's all he had.

Got a lot of weird look. This is your PPE? He refused to pay the buck, you know, when they were selling the doctors yesterday. Wrong mask. It's all he had. Got a lot of weird looks. This is your PPE? He refused to pay the buck, you know, when they were selling the COVID masks at Perceptions. I refuse. I suppose in COVID times. I have a mask. You didn't specify what sort of mask. I guess in COVID times, a mask would have been fine.

You could do that. I mean, you know. The issue is, I don't know what covers the nasal. You know, that was that whole thing about people wearing the mask under their noses. Yeah, true. Which was like pointless. I know it has a gag around the mouth. I know that. Yes. Yeah wearing the mask under their noses. Yeah, true. Which was like pointless. I don't come to have a gag around the mouth.

I know that. Yes. Yeah, but I don't have the nose, baby. The nose, yeah. We've got to protect the nose as well. Yeah, okay. Anyway. But anyway, it remains to be seen.

It's okay. We've got him, though. Yes. And we're going to milk him for all his work. Yeah. I've offloaded it a lot to Babs already. Yeah. Oh, we were in the pre-show meeting, Darl.

We saw. Yeah, yeah. You're doing great, Babs. Babs has been doing good this week. If this is ever a week that she's asking for a pay rise, just capitalise. Alright. You said it.

Did you hear her trying to get a free car when she was on air for two minutes? Have you heard from Closters? No? It'll be coming, surely. I thought I would have heard from an eyebrow place too by now. Yeah, that's a miss from an eyebrow place, not to jump on Babs. I've got big brows. You've got big brows?

Yeah. Between that and your nails. Oh, goodness me. Maybe that's why they saw your brows. They went, no one can tackle that thing. Rhino. There's not enough wax in the world. Oh, come on.

We're all piling on and that's the step, is it? That's where I've gone too far. Yeah. Okay. I don't know what bad brows look like, to be fair. That. Babs, apparently. Babs' head.

I have thick eyebrows. Everyone always tells me that. You do have thick eyebrows. But you have two of them. I'm going home. No, I need you. Stay. Oh, she's just had a week, too.

Oh, she has. Poor Babs. How we have so much fun here. I'm going home. Love you, Babs. Hey, big show, though. It's Friday, baby. We've got Babs's diary.

That was Babs's diary. You can't leave. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. She's been diligently taking notes. I'd love to see how she covered Monday, Tuesday with those best of. She had two days to get diary stuff, so she's working overtime. We've got Alphamux for 10K. I've got a good feeling about today.

Oh, we draw our Dua Lipa tickets. Yes. What are you laughing at? We've only been on air for two days. We've got a prize. We've had wonderful contributions. They did worse, Lolly, and broke the phones. We did.

The phone lines were back. The phone lines went to meltdown. She's playing on Monday night in Melbourne. I know, it's crazy. This show is soon. Yeah, it's crazy. In Sydney. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, stay at the Ridges. You can thank us later. Yeah, tickets for Sydney, yeah. Anyway, it's all happening, team. It's going to be a fantastic show. The whole squad's back together again. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They always say there's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They always say there's no such thing as a dumb question, but here at JDHQ, sometimes you've got a little niggly thought. Oh, yeah. That you've got nowhere safe with which to share, to dissect, to discuss. And to be told, that's not so dumb. That's smart.

That's smart. Well. And you're allowed to think your thoughts. Exactly right. And 131060, if're allowed to think your thoughts. Exactly right. And 131060, if you want to get involved, we do have some free fuel. If you have a dumb thought you want to get on air and we like your thought. I love that. Nothing dumb about free fuel.

Oh, hell no. I've got one for you, Duckman. Fantastic. I've been looking forward to it. My daughter is showing a great love for birds. Oh, yeah. When she hears the chirp chirp, when she hears a flutter of a wing, oh, my God, she's got the opposite of tech neck.

You know how all the young kids are looking down into phones? Yeah, she's looking up. She's got the opposite because she's constantly looking to the sky. I have that because I'm short. Yep. An acting coach genuinely told me that once. Shut up. He's like, you collapse in the back of your neck because you're always looking up.

I was like, well. Your chin is constantly facing the sun. There was a lorikeet in the tree outside our house the other day. It lost her tiny mind. So I, if I need just a minute's peace, instead of putting cartoons on, I try and find documentaries. Or bird docos. Or bird things. And who better for an animal doco than one David Attenborough.

Yeah, D-Ats. So he's got one called Life in Colour. He's got a lot of bird. Oh, yeah. And we were watching this together. And, you know, they're in the deep in the middle of the rainforest and they find this tiny frog in the middle of nowhere and they happen to find it fighting another frog

and it's a mating display. How good's a mating display for birds? Oh, my God. a mating display for birds? Oh, my God. The mating displays for birds are amazing. The territory fights with frogs I got real hard for. When I'm sad, sometimes I'll put on mating displays on YouTube and just sit back. Look up the magnificent bird of paradise.

This thing is unbelievable. Write that down, Shark Eye. But anyway, I'm watching this doco and my thought was, do you think the cameraman for shows like this should be paid more than David Attenborough? Oh.

Because I'm sorry to sit in the rainforest and track these tiny creatures to actually capture the mating display of the magnificent bird of paradise or the poisonous tree frog, that little dart frog that's red. Of course.

You don't need to describe it. You know what I'm talking about. To find that in the middle of the rainforest and happen to have captured it. Wild scenes. Surely he must have been sitting there for weeks, just trained on one spot and then gone, holy crap. I've got him. They deserve a pay rise.

They deserve more than David. Because all Attenborough's doing is swanning in. No, he's not even swanning in. He's just doing a voiceover in a booth. He's doing voiceover more than often. As you can see, the Red Bull. Don't get me wrong. I love David.

I love David. He deserves his knighthood and he deserves all the accolades. And I know the day he dies is going to be a day of global mourning. Sadness. But don't you reckon those cameramen. Oh, yeah. But also, how do you get into that very niche? What do you do?

Well, I film the birds in the David Attenborough doco. So I wait for months. I leave my family. Can you imagine having a partner? It's one thing to be married to the weatherman on the Today Show and he's traveling and lives out of suitcase. God, he's a good guy. He's a good guy.

Yeah, yeah. But yes, I think they deserve to be the highest paid on those Today Show and he's travelling and lives out of a suitcase. God, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. Yeah, yeah. But yes, I think they deserve to be the highest paid on those programs. I agree. Yes. I agree. Now, we've got Sam calling. Oh, Sam. Oh, I'm 131060.

Hello, Sam. Hi, good morning, guys. Sam. Now, you've got a dumb thought for us, or no dumb thought. Well, mine's a bit dumber than yours. Okay. Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.

Do cars ever get tired? No, that's a good one. That's a good one. That is a good one. Do you mean on a long journey or when they've been parked on a hill for overnight? What are you thinking? Well, like I'm driving to work and I was tired and I was just thinking, well, my car does over 100km every day for me to go to work.

She must be exhausted. She must be exhausted. What are you cruising around in, Sam? I'm in a Kona. In a Kona. The poor Kona's losing its legs. I do think about that often as well. And then, Sam, when you fill your car up with petrol, do you go ethanol

or are you just giving it a bit of special stuff? Are you giving it more? Nah, she gets unleaded. Yeah, good. Okay. Do you think that when you're filling it up, it's like... Fuel is food. I mean, food is fuel. Like, do you ever think... I always think this is pretty dumb. When I'm filling my car up, my car's going nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Um...

The other thing I think is... Alright, we're losing Sam there. We're losing Sam. But I think Sam... I love that. I think Sam there. We're losing Sam. But I think Sam agrees. I love that. But are you treating it like it's food? Oh, yeah.

Because surely it's going. Oh, it's drinking. It's guzzling. Like it's having a nice schooner of twoies or something. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? It's holding its nose and just chucking it down. Yes.

Yeah, it's eating everything. Like a German stein. We've got one more. We've got one more. We've got Micaiah on 131060. Good morning, Micaiah. Oh, how you going? Yeah, we're really good.

You're becoming a bit of a staple for this, you dumb bum. What have you been thinking about this week? Oh, I've been thinking about heat. First, I just got to say, love you that you guys are all back. You're the only talk show I listen to. Oh, thank you so much. The rest are rubbish. Yeah, they are. Put it on the record. Wipe out on the billboard.

100%. I can't stand them. I'm like, oh, gee. When you guys were off on the holidays, I was like, dude, what am I listening to? I just had to sit there and scream music. Well, I apologize for our absence. Shy Guy. Say hi to Makaya. He's missing you. Hey, Shy Guy's back. Babs is back. Beautiful absence. Shy Guy. Say hi to Micaiah. He's missing you. Morning, Micaiah. Hey, Shy Guy's back.

Babs is back. Beautiful team. Beautiful team. Beautiful team. And you guys, you're the only ones that ever get my first name right. Well, except for Docco this morning. Oh, we nearly had him for life, Docco.

I do that. Hey, that's me, man. Don't be dyslexic, Micaiah. He's dyslexic. I can give you Micaiah, Micaiah. Anyway, I'm going to go. Do you have a nickname? Let's go with that. He's dyslexic, Micaiah. He's dyslexic. I can give you a Micaiah, Micaiah. Anyway, I'm going to go. Do you have a nickname? Let's go with that.

MacGyver. I get called MacGyver a lot. MacGyver, what have you got for us today? Okay. Your nose runs, but your feet smell. Wow. MacGyver. That is fantastic.

What joke book are you reading? None. It just pops in my head. It's like the only time you clean your skeleton is when you brush your teeth. I just think about these things. Oh, these are deep. Are these sort of 2 a.m., you wake up in a cold sweat and go, wait a minute. Holy hell, I've got to tell the guys.

Your nose runs, but your feet smell. I best call in. For my work, I start early. I'm up at like 3.30 in the morning. Oh, damn. And then I'm in the truck all day. I work for the council of Garbo. Oh, I can't even appreciate your service.

Are you tracking people's bins? We did that story a couple weeks ago how they've got the trackers on the bins now. Yeah, you do have some of them, trackers on the bins. And then, yeah. Have you ever discovered something in someone's bin, Makai, that you're like, oh, I've got to report this? Luckily, no. Oh, that's good.

That's good. That's good. Well, I know you're not rifling through the garbage. No, but we have a camera so when the garbage tips out, we can see everything in it when it's dumped into the hop. Cool. You'll have to take us for a spin in one of those one day. I've always wanted to ride in one.

I was just saying, my daughter loves birds, also loves the garbage truck coming down, those mechanical ones coming out. Oh, my God. All the kids do. They love it. They do. We can speak to your friend in MacGyver, but we won't. Yes. If you ever come down the street, I'm going to need a little toot toot. Oh, yeah,. All the kids do. They love it. They do. We can speak to you forever, MacGyver, but we won't.

Yes. If you ever come down the street, I'm going to need a little toot-toot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's me, MacGyver. He's got your nose run for your feet smell. Jess and Daco. Right now, I want to bring your attention to something which I think you will get kicks out of. It is the Vienna Vegetable Orchestra.

Okay. Yeah. Vienna is one of my, like, top three destinations on my bucket list. Oh, I went there. I was so bored. So, so bored. I mean, I did go. You know those six foot... I went when I was, like, 23 or something like that. So, I mean, I couldn't appreciate it.

It feels like a cultural city to me. So, maybe 23 is not the age. Yeah, yeah. Didn't want to see museums. More so, you remember I've told you about Lucas, my six foot four hunky Austrian friend who is an identical twin. And I just want to go to Vienna. Just to see museums. More so, you remember, I've told you about Lucas, my six foot four, hunky Austrian friend who is an identical twin. And I just want to go to Vienna. Just to see him.

Just to see, well, to see, are they all like this? Are they all just gorgeous, hunky? It's funny your husband hasn't rushed to book that trip. Yeah. We're going to Europe this year. Can we pop over to Vienna? He went, nah, no time. Oh, geez.

The planes don't fly there. No, they do. I don't think they do. I want to see if they all look like Lucas. You get there, no time. Oh, jeez, the planes don't fly there. No, they do. I don't think they do. I want to see if they all look like Lucas. You get there, they do. You're like, well, confirmed. Well, Ducco, I'm moving to Vienna. Would you like to do the show from Vienna?

We're doing it from Vienna. I'm there. I've always loved Vienna. It's always been a great place. No, there's a touring vegetable orchestra, and it is just that. It's a touring orchestra using instruments entirely made of fresh vegetables. And they've just broken a world record. Oh, because I'm such a child.

I thought this was going to be like a little carrot playing a guitar. Like a move, like a cartoon. You two over there just having coughing fits every Tuesday. Did you think it was like VeggieTales or something? That's why I drilled down on the Vienna part more than the vegetable. I went, oh, it's like a new ratatouille. No, it's like human beings cutting vegetables and making vegetables in instruments that day so they don't go off.

What? Because the vegetables always break on stage or they get a bit stale. Oh, they wilt, of course. So they wilt. So they've got to have them fresh veggies. So pre-show, they make these veggie instruments. So the drums are made out of pumpkin. It's an 11-piece orchestra, right?

Yes, I'm going to need details. It started in 1998. It has 344 concerts already. They've got instruments such as a carrot recorder. They drill a hole in it. A cucumber phone, a radish bass flute, which is what Babs would play. Absolutely.

A percussive piece of eggplant and a leek violin. Percussive piece of, so that must be the drums. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eggplant. I don't know how they're named. Eggplant. And then a leek violin. I love leek.

Yeah, yeah. That might be my favourite. They like string it down so it's really thin. Oh, of course, because if you shred it almost, it would become like violin strings. I've got some audio of the orchestra. It sort of comes as abstract sounds and things. There's your eggplant. Yeah.

That's the violin. That's got a bit of bass to it. Oh, my God. Yeah, some of it sounds pretty cool. Have they put an echo on that? Or is that genuinely what the vegetables sound like? This is them in their concert in their auditorium. All the vegetables are mic'd up.

And people go and say, okay. Here comes Shaga. There I am. There's Shaga at the end. What the hell were you playing there? I don't know. It sounded like a stuff of Pink Song. It did actually.

I don't know the song you're talking about. Never Gonna Stop Dancing. Yeah, yeah. Dun, dun, dun. Oh, my God. This is big news in the veggie orchestra world. They have just won the Guinness World Record for, get this, the most concerts by a vegetable orchestra.

Who was in the lead before? I think they beat their own record. I was about to say, how much competition is in this space? Not many. Are other people playing instruments made out of any sort of food? Well, I don't know. But they've done 344 concerts. So the vegetables, as I said, they're served fresh.

That is amazing. This is how intimate it is. After they're done, because the veggies go bad, they make it into a big soup as soon as the show's done. And eat it. With the audience. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Hang on a minute. What's this guy playing? He looks like he's playing some sort of bagpipe situation. Yeah, there's a few things you can do right now. Out of carrot and... Yeah, they get it pretty creative. They all come from different walks of life. There's some of them are musicians.

There's a cauliflower involved here. Some of them are just creatives. That might be a celeriac. It'd be a tough carry telling your parents that you're going to leave home to join the Vegetable Orchestra. At 16, I want to drop out of school. Academia is not where I see myself. It's a cucumber phone, Mom!

A cucumber phone! Wow! Yeah, anyway. I mean, there's something for everyone. Let's hope for us after radio. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice, and if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. It's Friday, baby. Let's make it rain. We go to Luke. Hello, Luke. Good morning, guys. How are we today? We're good. We're all here.

Feeling good. We've got a full house. We have a full house. Sweet, shy guy back from the depths. Fantastic. Load me up. Yep. Load him up.

We're ready to give you that $10,000 if you're ready to take it off our hands. Lukey, what do you want to spend the money on? Yeah, I think I might just update my toolkit. All right. That's fine. Yeah, what are you getting? What are you putting in that thing? What are you, a DeWalt?

Yeah, I'm a carpenter builder, so, yeah, I don't know, probably a drop in laser level. Yeah, the laser level's good. Always think about those. Laser level is good. Drop in. Sounds like more of a Milwaukee guy. Yeah, you're a bit of a Milwaukee guy. A DeLonghi, perhaps? No, that's coffee. Yeah, no, a Milwaukee guy. Yeah, you could be a Milwaukee guy. A DeLonghi, perhaps?

Nah, that's coffee. Yeah, no, Milwaukee goes well. Yeah, yeah. I mean, different, different. I was doing the heavy lifting for the tools, alright? I didn't need to do anything, my bad. You do that. I'm trying to get on my total tools to get alright. I've been to mine a ten twice.

Good on you. It's a laser level, Ducker. Let's not go there, we don't have time. It's a laser level, Ducker. Let's not go there. We don't have time. It's a laser, but it levels. He's not wrong. Luke, we have got a solid letter for you, brother. We're going to the top of the alphabet.

You're going to work with the letter A. A for Alphabucks. I actually don't. I like this. Me too. Let's go. You got a good feeling about Luke? Yeah.

Your time will start after the first question, mate, starting with the letter A. We need you to name. A fruit. An apple. A Marvel character. Pass. An occupation.

A nemesis. A car part. Alternator. An instrument. An instrument. A brand. An adverb. Something you spray. A shoe brand.

Some good answers in there. Some good answers. Some good answers indeed. We've got ourselves five. Five of the best, Luke. Five of the best. A Marvel character. Let's go through them.

No one thinks of Ant-Man. Everyone always forgets Ant-Man. Oh, poor Ant-Man. See, when everyone likes Ant-Man, we just forget him. That's right. An instrument could have been the acoustic guitar or the accordion. An adverb could have been anything with L-O-Y. Abruptly, accidentally. And what else?

A shoe brand could have been Adidas or you said that, so Asics was the other one. Asics. Asics. The netballer's choice. Hey, Luke, we're not going to get you tools, but you don't go away empty-handed. $100 to spend worth of fuel. That's all yours. Fantastic, guys.

Happy Friday, everyone. Happy Friday. Thanks for joining the show, Luke. What a delight. Fantastic. Hooray, guys. Ho Friday everyone. Happy Friday. Thanks for joining the show Luke. What a delight. Fantastic. Hooray guys. Hooray. We do play again at 8 o'clock. So if you want some new tools. Who do we know that says

Hooray? Who does say that? People go Hooray. They go Hooray. But they think they're right. Who was that? It's not me. But I remember it's someone I've been with you Hooray. But they think they're right. Who was that? That's not you. That's not you. It's not me. No, no, no. But I remember,

it's someone I've been with you in that conversation. Anyway, that person's listening. Stupid. It's Uru. The full team back today for the first time this week,

Gabby Friday. We'll be off for the next two days and then we'll see you again on Monday. Don't jinx it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't jinx it. I mean, I'm in here with,

I'm calling you and Shaga, because you and Shaga have had the lurgy, you're like Wheezy. Which is really hard, because you know what brings on Wheezy? Giggling. Yeah, I know. Laughing. Every time something funny happens, you two are over there going. Remember that time I had bronchitis and I broke the cough button on my mic

because I was holding it down so much? We're getting into that territory again. I apologise. I want to put you both in a box over there. I don't want to get anything. Oh, we've got to bring back that COVID screen. Yes, the Perspex screen. The Perspex screen.

Nah, nah, we persist. Stop being so funny. Sorry, I can't help it. How about you just bring it down a notch? I'm going to rip and tear today. Yes. Angus and I were watching a comedian last night you just bring it down a notch? I'm going to rip and tear today. Yes. Angus and I were watching a comedian last night, just like a Netflix special, and I swear to God, I had an asthma attack.

He's like, we've got to stop watching this. I went, put on the crown. Put something serious on. I've already taken three days off this week. I can't not show up tomorrow as well. We've got our lunch. Yeah, we do. Anyway, on this program a couple of months ago, Ducko,

we asked the question, are you dumb on 131060, one of the great phone topics of all time, I'm going to say. It actually led us to meeting Rhys, who gave us our nickname, the Rice Cookers. A lot came from that conversation. It would stand to reason that there's still a lot of dumb stuff going on on the internet, and there are a lot of dumb bums out there. We do the bloody segment, No Dumb Thought Friday.

People on TikTok are eating packing peanuts. You know, like the things that come in your packages to soften transit. So maybe you've got something breakable. Like the foam, or not foam, what is that material? I don't actually know what they're made out of. Shy Guy, can you give me a quick Google? What are packing peanuts made out of? It's like those foam things to soften transit for any sort of breakable items.

Fun to jump in a pool of them, you know what I mean? It might be fun to do that. Styrofoam. It is styrofoam. Corn or wheat starch is also the main ingredient. Or there's the styrofoam ones, or there's also a plant-based one. Oh, okay. Which is more better.

People are taking to the ticky-tocky. Online shoppers saying, these are a great bedtime snack. Shut up. They're not eating them. They're eating them. These nuts. They're saying they're biodegradable. No.

So they're basically like having a little chip. No. Having a little chip before bedtime. No. People are flo chip before bedtime. No. People are flocking to the comments, Duffo. Oh, my God. Biodegradable does not mean edible. You may as well just drink bleach.

What is wrong? Someone saying just because you can does not mean you should. Oh, man. That is so dumb. Let alone people saying they are packing peanuts. Oh, my God. How many people do you think have touched them? Oh, true. I, my God. How many people do you think have touched them? Oh, true.

I licked again. Sorry. I keep licking my moustache. Jess sprays me like a dog. I got an email from HR. Not HR. From our tech going, hey, hey. I know he's doing it a lot, but be careful how much water you're spraying on the path.

What's a bit of water amongst friends? So now we'll just scare you. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. How many people have touched those in transit? I know COVID. And what's that doing inside your stomach? That's a great question. Pretty sure there's warnings about not swallowing gum.

Yes. Can you imagine what a styrofoam packing peanut is doing to your guts? See, Babs, this is why we have issues with your generation. It's your generation. This is what they're doing. It's not me eating packing peanuts. Yeah, but it's your people. I can see Babs getting a little packing peanuts. Yeah, but it's your people.

I can see, Babs, you're getting a little bit hungry. Yeah. You know what? We just, you know, Shy Guy's just done a cheeky Macca's order for us because everyone's feeling a little bit, you know, 25% capacity. No, no, no, no. Let's go through who's ordered the freaking Macca's in this room. I was going to say, there's only two of us getting it, and it's not me or Ducko.

There's two of us who've been here all week, and we didn't. Oh, they do two shows together, and now they all week and we didn't. Oh, they do two shorts together and now they're just. We didn't order the backers. You're getting a copy. The two wheezes over there got themselves 17 hash browns. Ducko goes, I can't just have one. I'd have to have two. So you best get me none.

All right, Mr. Fitness. Well, I'll see. I'll put in a full week, eh? You put in a full week and then we'll see who's laughing. Buddy's going to packing peanuts. I want to talk about your mother-in-law, particularly when she's hit you with a bit of a burn. Maybe she sassed you, a bit of a power play.

No one can savage you like a mother-in-law can. It is such a special yet fragile relationship. They hold this weird power. They do because you can't. Don't you reckon? They can be more honest with you than you can with them. 100%. And I think for me, I don't know about you,

I'm in a constant state of wanting to impress her. Totally. And I'm in a constant state of wanting her to think I am fantastic. Yep. And as gross as this sentence state of wanting her to think I am fantastic. Yep. And as gross as this sentence might be, worthy of her boy. You know what I mean? I want her to leave my house going. It's just a power dynamic.

Yes. That's a good chick. That's a good egg. I want her to call my mum being like, you did well because that chick is 10 out of 10. You know, it's a weird. Hopefully she hasn't been listening this morning then. I know my in-laws do listen. They do.

I'm flirting with danger here even telling you this story. But it was such a perfect chef's kiss mother-in-law savaging that I know. Did she mean it? You be the judge, Ducco. Right. Was it a power play? So last week I had shared with you I was very nervous and getting very anxious because I had my first celebrant gig for two people who I didn't know before they booked me.

So it was my first stranger booking. We've developed a nice relationship over the process. But Friday was their wedding and I had really worked myself up into a tease. You got there two hours early. I got there two hours early. I didn't have the luxury of being best mates with these people like I have been for my other gigs previously in the celebrant world. And I was getting very worked up and my mother-in-law was going to be with the baby that afternoon. So she arrived and, you know, she helped me do my dress up and I was sharing with her, oh God, I'm getting, I'm getting very anxious, but I'm going to get on the road now.

You know, it was a bit dodgy weather, so I thought, give myself plenty of time, settle in, I'll be okay, read my script, got my paperwork. The issue is my mother-in-law was actually at my last wedding that I conducted that I was a ceremony for because it was Angus's best mate and they're family friends, they go way back. So Georgia was actually at this ceremony. And at that ceremony. It was aus's best mate and they're family friends. They go way back. So Georgia was actually at this ceremony. And at that ceremony.

It was a hiccup. There was a hiccup, Ducko. And I haven't shared this on air because I thought, do I want anyone else to book me? If people hear how I stuffed up, they will never book me. It was your first one and you made a mistake. You'll never do it again. I'll never do it again. So what happened at these best mates weddings was I forgot the rings.

I forgot the ring exchange. My husband was in the frickin' bridal party. We had talked about who was holding the rings and how it would work. So you forgot to do the part where you can now encircle this ring around your finger. Yep. Yep. So they didn't actually put the rings on in the ceremony. Nope.

And so they kissed with no rings. So technically, not married. Hey, man. Hey, sign the freaking papers. Shut your mouth. And I was so, I was flying high because I thought I had nailed this because I know them so well. I'd injected so much personality.

They had 14 people in the bridal party. I'd done a little bit on each of them. I sung for a little bit, got some good laughs. I was feeling great until my husband walked up to me at the end of that ceremony and went, um, the rings? And all the blood drained from

my body. I nearly left because I was so worked up. I remember you messaging me that night and I see you on the Monday after. You very kindly checked in and went, hey, how'd you go? And you're like, I forgot the rings. I've ruined the day. I was just mortified. And Angus had to say, stop making it about yourself.

Calm down. And I went, I can't. Full celebrant. I felt so, I just felt so bad. I just felt so bad. And we rectified it afterwards. Yeah. We did the ring exchange.

But it was just, it was mortifying. It was mortifying. So your mother-in-law was there. She was there. She was there. She saw that. Yeah. So when she arrives last week to look after the baby, as I've got my first stranger ceremony and I've shared,

I'm already anxious. She's helped me do my dress up, said I looked lovely. We'd run through what the baby schedule was for the rest of the afternoon. I went, right, I'm going to hit the road, Georgia. Wish me luck. And she went, good luck. Just don't forget the rings.

Oh, yeah. As I was closing the door. I had said how freaking nervous I was because I didn't have the luxury of the friendship buffer for this wonderful couple. Reminding you of the mistake you made. As I'm leaving the freaking house reminds me of that. What I'm going to call was a terrible mistake. Yeah, yeah.

And just unforgivable. And how nervous did that make you when you were driving there? The whole drive out to the Hunter Valley was that 55 minutes. Just in my head I'm chanting the rings. The rings. I knew it was in my ceremony because I have post-it notes now all over my house. Rings. Rings.

Rings. I have an alarm go off every week on my phone. Ring. Ring. Just in case I'm writing a ceremony and it happens to slip my mind. Rings. Rings. I just send you texts every now and then.

Ring. Rings. You're in my ring circle. Rings. Everyone remind me about the ring freaking exchange. Yeah. So that's what she said as I was leaving the house. That's a deep burn because that is a deep cut.

She knows how much it affects you. She knows it's going to get you as she's minding your daughter. Because that was a relatively intimate wedding. Like it was less than a hundred people. So only a hundred now, half a million people know because I've just said it. But at that wedding, I probably could have got away with it. Everyone was very forgiving. Yeah.

And a lot of people said, I didn't even notice. Like, I got swept up in the story and I was like, people would. Thank you for lying to me or for being so kind. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, she really chose that moment. Oh, they get you. In my fragile state.

In-law burns. To shout that out. In-law burns. 13, 10, 60. Mother-in-law, father-in-law, what'd they say to you? What'd they say? And yeah, do you think it was a, was it just an innocent little thing? Yeah.

Or have they tried to power play it? I'll just establish dominance here. I own you. I own you. Do we leave the tickets up for grabs? We'll do it next. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

Mother-in-law or father-in-law, just in-law burns. In-law burns because it's a special dynamic. It's a special relationship you have with your in-laws. And if you're anything like me, you are constantly looking for their approval. You constantly want them thinking, yeah, that chick's 10 out of 10. So the fragility of them being able to just crush you with a seemingly innocuous comment, it's really quite strong. I had my first

wedding as a celebrant for people I did not know prior to them booking me. Up until this point, I've done either just the legals only or been the celebrant for friends. Georgia, my mother-in-law, was at my last wedding for friends where I forgot the ring exchange. And as I was leaving last Friday for this next wedding, having shared I was already anxious and really wanted to do a good job, she said as I was leaving, don't forget the rings this time. And I know she meant it to be supportive. I know she was trying to help. But also, it was a bit of a backhand. I've just told you how freaking

rattled I am. Yeah, yeah. I don't need to hear that as I'm leaving the house. And when we got to the ring exchange part in the ceremony, I almost wanted to be like, guys, I remembered! I'm doing the rings! Everyone's like, what? I really stopped down. I milked that ring exchange. You guys enjoying the rings? Yeah. Put on that finger. Go. Everyone slow and watch

this. How's this though, Ducko? Just quick sidebar. The groom, unfortunately, had an injury on his finger many years ago. So he's got knobbly knuckles. The bride couldn't get the ring over his finger and they sort of started giggling. They were having a moment and I go, Connor, finish yourself off. What? And everyone started laughing and I was like, nah, just proceed.

Connor's like, yeah, okay. Standard. Finish yourself off. Maybe I'm not cut out for this job. Too used to breakfast radio. I am. Dropping singers up there. What is happening with her?

She made a big deal about the rings and she told the groom to finish himself off. Cue the quartet. Quickly. What are we doing? Emily. Emily on 131060. Hello. I'm happy Friday.

Hi. Happy Friday. We're talking in-law burns. What have you got for us? Okay, this wasn't a one-off comment. This was like a whole behind-the-scenes operation. We were about to start a family, and my mother-in-law wasn't happy with the structural integrity of our pool fence. So she copied the late Macquarie Council letterhead and wrote a letter to us saying that we needed to fix the pool fence or we would be fine.

And it was a big operation behind the scenes and we fell for it. Oh my. And she was being fully legit. It wasn't a joke. It was like, I'm doing this so they make it. For your own good, they take it seriously. Yeah. And she got found out because I went in my mum's inbox and I found their fully legit. It wasn't a joke. It was like, I'm doing this so they make... For your own good, they take it seriously. Yeah, and she got found out because I went in my mum's inbox and I found their scheming

in the joke mail. Oh, your mum was in on it too? Yeah. Oh, that is... Two mothers together. I love the idea of the mum and the mother-in-law chatting, you know, they get together at a family event. Have you mentioned the pool fancy? I have. Have you mentioned? Yeah, I have. Have you mentioned?

Yeah, I have. They're not listening to us. Righto. This is what we're going to do. Baby boomers don't delete their arm. You caught it. Oh, Emily. That's amazing.

So what did you do with the fence in the end? Did you get the big fence? Did they want it? Yeah, well, we fell for it. So we fixed the fence and then I found the correspondence between the two of them. Emily, was there actually something wrong with the fence, or were they just looking at it with their mother eyes going, nah, it can be better?

I hadn't even had a baby yet, and they were still worried. They were just worried about a future baby. That's brilliant, Emily. That's great. Thank you. Working together as well. Yes. Delete your scent items, guys.

Kylie, your mother-in-law did something. Hi, how are you going, guys? Love the show. Thank you, Kylie. We love you. Thank you. So a few years back now, God rest my mother-in-law's soul, we went over to announce the pregnancy of our first child.

And normally, you know, the congratulations might be in order, but the first words that came out of her mouth was, now's the time to lose some weight. Oh, God. And I wasn't really that big either. Oh, yeah. And my husband went, he was mortified, and I just sat there. No apology.

It was horrible. Can you even come back from that? Like, how do you move forward with that? Yeah, look, it was hard. Yeah, it was super hard. But she was a lot older, like our family dynamic. She was older than my grandmother. Oh, okay.

Right, so she was there. She was a bit seen off. She was just than my grandmother. Oh, okay. Right, so she was, yeah. She was a bit seen off. She was just popping things off. I've got many more stories, but that was the one that sat with me for 20 years. That's fair enough. Oh, I bet. And then you're eating dinner that night. She's looking at how much you're eating.

Christmas gets the diet cookbook and set of scales. Mother-in-laws, man. They get you. They get you. Jess and Ducko. Say-in-laws, man. They get you. They get you. Basically verbal snap. We don't know what we're going to lay out with each other, but we need to work step by step to eventually say the same, get on each other's wavelengths.

As a team. As a team. But we could start at opposite ends say the same. Get on each other's wavelengths. As a team. As a team. But we could start at opposite ends of the globe. Yep. So let's find out. Let's find out where we start. How we go because depending how fast we get through this, Shy Guy and Babs will have a go.

Yes, which is always fun. You can play along as well and see whose thought process you're on track with. Like could you have ended it round two? Yeah. Matching up with the duck man. Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one. L it? Round two. Yeah. Matching up with the duck man. Yeah. Okay. Three, two, one.

Lick. Ooh, fog. Foggy morning. I've gone lick. And you've gone lick because you have constantly been punished the past 24 hours. I keep licking my moustache. For licking the moustache. I have the dog training water bottle over here.

Yeah, you do. You've got to be good. Someone messaged me going, what's with the moustache? I was like, it's elite. That's what's with the moustache. I saw you having some back and forth. I'm not going to say fights with someone on the text line. Someone said, get rid of the mo.

You said, no. They said, okay. You've added a week to growth time. Okay, so you said fog. I said lick. And you said lick. That is feeling very far apart. Fog.

Fog. And lick. Three, two, far apart. Fog. Fog. And lick. Three, two, one. Weather. Lollipop. I stayed with you and you came to me. Yeah, we jump to each other. This is a problem.

We never know where we're going to jump. Weather and lollipop. Weather and lollipop. Weather and lollipop. I mean, it's hard to go somewhere with either of these things. I know. I'm not feeling any common ground. No, I can't find anything that I think you'd say that I'd say.

Yeah, weather and lollipop. Oh, yeah. Nah, I got it. Nah, we've got it. Three, two, one. Tongue. Chupa-chup. Damn it.

We're close, though. I said tongue. Tongue and chup-chup. Chupa-chup. I can't say chup-chup. You can because that's how it is actually intended by the corporation. I know you're right, but I don't care. You know what I mean?

We love being multicultural. Spanish. Turkey. Amen. Chupa-chup. And what did you say? Tongue. Chupa-chup.

Yeah. Chupa-chup. Ah. Hmm. Oh, have I? Hmm. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Oh. Yep. Ah. Okay. Chupa-chup. Yeah. Chupa Chup. Ah. Hmm. Oh, have I? Hmm. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Oh. Yep. Ah. Okay. Chupa Chup. Yes. And tongue.

Stop saying Chupa Chup. It's really annoying. It's really awkward. Yeah, it's so annoying. It's what it's called. I don't care. What called? Three, two, one.

Chupa Chup and tongue. Sugar. And taste bud. Oh, no. Now we've got one to get. We've got one sugar and taste bud. Sugar and taste bud. No, don't do this. She's out of her chair. Oh, no. Now we've got one to get. We've got one sugar and taste bud. Sugar and taste bud. No, don't do this.

She's out of her chair. Oh, goodness. I'm getting nervous now. Put it together, babe. We don't have to jump. Put it together. Sugar and taste bud. Sugar and taste bud.

Come to the middle. Three, two, one. Stick. What did you say? Stick. Stick. Stick. I panicked.

I panicked. I panicked. She got stick from. She kept clapping in my face. I was putting that. She was like, put it together. The wheezes are gone. I've lost it, mate. Genuinely, they are coughing up flam.

I want to get out of this studio. Taste. I want to go home. And sweet. I panicked. I mean, taste and whatever we say. It's been a big week. We're currently in the sickness den.

We just need our squeakers replaced. There he goes. There's Shy Guy. Shy Guy said he watched all the Toy Stories yesterday. That is a big... And I watched all the Shreks. Yeah. It's been a good time.

I also watched all the Aladdins. Goodness me. I mean all the Aladdins. Help me, Babs. I watched the Aladdin and then Return of Jafar and then I watched the live-action one. Is the live-action one bad? Is that the one with the Will Smith as the genie?

It's okay. Sorry, watch Return of Jafar. It's the sequel to Aladdin. It sucks. No one cares about Jafar. I thought I knew Disney. I've never heard. Return of Jafar?

Return of back to the, I don't know. You must have been sick to watch Return of Jafar. It came up in the suggestion on Disney+. It's like, you've watched Aladdin, now watch Return of Jafar. I was like, righto, I've got nothing else to do. Loser. Oh, mate. I agree, guys.

You quoted pixels in text messages yesterday. Shut up. She did. No leg to stand. She got up in a minute. She was in your chair when you were away. She started quoting niche references of movies. It's contagious.

I'm like, what is going on? Can we stop doing this? We should. Oh, I don't know how to panel, but you should sit here for a bit and see what comes out of you. I'll just start saying things. Just quickly, we're going to get to our box. Yes, we do. Last night I did sideline commentary for the footy.

I did say that for the rivals, you buzz. I hate them. For the Knights Dolphins. No, how was it? It was good. It all went well. But there's always a funny... Up the Knights.

Up the Knights. They did well. Also, it's the Broncos year. But anyway, there's always a funny... Up the Knights. Up the Knights. They did well. Also, it's the Broncos year. But anyway, there's always a funny thing at the end. I finish the game. I've got to get player interviews. Spoke to our boy, Adam Elliott. A few players chatting to them.

Finish all that. It's going well. As we're putting the kid away, I walk up and there's all these kids along the side of the barrier of the stands. And they're all waiting to get players' autographs, right? Cute. Yeah. Except the problem is I heard kids going, Duggar!

Duggar! And I was like, oh man. Oh, they're here for me. I know. I was so touched. Like, I was like, this is so nice. And I turned over and like, they're looking right at me and they're waving. And I just give them the biggest frigging wave.

You did like that half salute. Yeah, I'm like, wow, all these footy players here, and they want to see the duck man. And then all of a sudden they looked like really confused. And I hear another kid to my right go, Asako. There's a player called Jermaine Asako on the Dolphins. And they wanted to say he's behind me. And I'm like, oh, oh, my God. Oh, that is so cool. Asako on the Dolphins. And they wanted to say he's behind me. And I'm like, oh, oh, my God.

Oh, that is so cool. Asako! I was like, ah. Let me get him for you, guys. Who am I waving? Mom? Dad? My soul left my body.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10 morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of that question, just say pass.

We come back if there's time. We're looking for a 10. Haven't had one in a couple of weeks now. That's right. Lee was our last winner, planning the wedding of her dreams. Not too far ago. Not too far. Not too far, but we'd love to do another. Oh, wouldn't we just? Oh, and what a Friday vibe. You know, heading into the weekend.

And look who we've got. Oh, thank God. She's finally called. She's here, guys. Stop everything. It's Abby. Hello, Abby. Hello. How are you? Abby, we've been waiting for you. Have you been thinking are you? Abby, we've been waiting for you. Have you been thinking about us as much as we've been thinking about you? Since 6 a.m. Monday to Friday.

Oh, Abby. Geez, we're with you forever. She does something to me, Abby. Something to my insides. My sister's called Abby. Are you an EY or an IE? IE. IE, okay.

Is it short for Abigail or is it straight up Abby? No, just straight up Abby. Straight up Abby. Do you get called Abby the Yabby? Yeah. Or Crabby Abby. I used to actually get that in primary school. Oh, well.

Abby the Yabby, I'd say. We are the show for primary school. Yeah, we are. Human. Human. Crabby Abby. Anyway, Abby, it's good to have you on. We're glad you listen.

We're glad you're part of the team. What do you want to spend $10,000 Anyway, Abby, it's good to have you on. We're glad you listen. We're glad you're part of the team. What do you want to spend $10,000 on, Abby? So I did say that I wanted to buy my dad and I a State of Origin ticket. Oh, yeah. And then I also said that I wanted to use the rest of the money for a Contiki tour. Oh, my goodness. That is a great way to spend the money. Hell, yeah.

Go Contiki and Origin. So are you thinking Europe, Contiki, Abbey, the States? What are you thinking? Over in the States. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, maybe a destination in your American Contiki will be Houston. Houston.

Houston, Texas, because that starts with H. Yeah. And that's what you're going to work with today. Perfect. Okay. You like that? That's a good letter. Okay. You're ready to you're going to work with today. Perfect. Okay. You like that? It's a good letter. Okay.

You're ready to rock? I think we've said all we can say. There's really nothing left to do except start the timer. Play the game. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter H, Abby, we need you to name something with four legs. Pass. An athletics activity.

Turtle jumping. A McDonald's menu item. Something that grows. Pass. A music group. Pass. A movie. A source. Something you'd find on a farm.

Pass. An accessory Handkerchief A city Oh, you had it, you had it But it was after the buzzer So you had yourself five Five and a half

Five and a half with that one Something with four legs, a bit abstract Could have been a horse or a hippo Something that grows hair A music group One of my favourites, Hilltop Hoods Something you'd legs, a bit abstract, could have been a horse or a hippo. Something that grows hair, a music group. One of my favourites, Hilltop Hoods. Something you'd find on a farm. Hey! And a city, you said it, Houston.

You just didn't have time. I hate accidentally giving away answers. That was unintentional. You know I'm a rule on that. Normally I do that. Well, it doesn't matter. I want it on the record, just because I love Abby. You do love Abby. I wasn't trying to help her. It wasn't favouritism. Well, it doesn't matter. But anyway. On the record, just because I love Abby. You do love Abby.

I wasn't trying to help her. It wasn't favouritism. No, not at all. Look, Abby, you don't go away with the money. But you do get $100 worth of fuel. That is all yours. No worries. Thank you so much.

Thank you, Abby. You could drive to the State of Origin once you get your self-tickets. We do play again next week at 6.30. That's when we play at 6.30. That's right. You've got the weekend to study up. Yeah, we study up. Come on.

All right. Jess and Daco. And we have Dua Lipa tickets to give away. Christ, I was so close. Yeah. Superstar Dua. Oh, God, she's good. She's going to be in Sydney on the 26th of March.

We've got a beautiful... Favourite Dua song? I-D-G-A-F. Oh, yes. Has to be levitating for me. Oh! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What a track!

What a track! Don't get you. Hey, that's good. You've segued me in perfectly. Look at us. I'm a professional. Even though I'm at like 65% capacity, I am a true professional. I want everyone to do this in the entire team.

Babs, Shy Guy. Individually or together? Together. When I can us in just for the first part of this. All right, ready? All right. Hang on, wait. 13, 10.

Sorry, he's just got to cough, guys. Sorry. Get that lurk out. If I survive this reckoning, my goodness, study me. You should be. All right. Just the first part. Ready?

13, 10, 60. Oh my God. Just the first part. Ready? 13, 10, 60. Oh, my God. I was asleep and. Finish that sentence. That's right. Oh, my God. I was asleep and you're not going to believe what happened. Slow down.

Oh, I don't got Barbie. Anyway. Mixed, obviously. I'm not an animal with the Holy Trinity. Donna. Donna. Hey, guess where we're going? Memphis, baby.

We're going to Memphis. Are they talking Memphis? Absolutely. We're in Memphis because there's a man. Is this a forgotten banger? No. I don't know if it's forgotten. It's a banger for sure.

It is a banger. You don't like the song? Who is it? It's not Kurt again. Who's that? It's Lone Star, baby. Of course it is. Ofanger for sure. It is a banger. You don't like the song? Who is it? It's not Kurt again. Who's that? It's Lone Star, baby. Of course it is. Of course it is.

Come on. Come on now. Anyway, let me get to this. So we're in Memphis because there is a man named Gerald Kirkwood. Kirkwood. He has a pet pit bull who's one years old. The pit bull's called Oreo. I love that.

That's a great name. I love a biscuit-based name for a pet. Yes. Well, Oreo was sleeping on Dad's bed while he was asleep with a lady friend who was just there for a, you know, it sounds to be a bit like a fling or a one-nightie thing. Okay, okay. When all of a sudden, Oreo, supposedly the dog, is responsible for shooting the man while he was lying in bed asleep.

He shot Gerald while he was asleep. So Gerald claims he was relaxing at 4am. I think he means sleeping. When his one-year-old dog excitedly jumped onto the bed and he accidentally stepped on the gun. And shot him. He got his claw caught in the trigger and apparently he shot him. They don't have opposable thumbs, dogs.

I know. How has he pulled the trigger? And can I have another question? Yeah. Because you're now obviously the conduit to this idiot and his dog. Yeah. What's the gun doing on the bed at this time? Exactly.

It feels weird. When you're relaxing at 4am, that might be the most American thing I've ever heard in my life. Unless it's some weird kink thing they've got going on. Or is it like he's just showing off his gun. Look at my shotgun. I'm sitting down on the bed now. Oh, okay. Come on now. You know, some people need to sleep with a stuffed bear.

Some people have a little huggy. Shark has the huggy. Shark has his huggy. Some people like to sleep with their shotgun. And if Oreo is going to jump onto the bed, that's the risk you run. Hi, daddy! Oh, God, Oreo shot dad. Is he alive? He's fine. It just grazed his leg. That's the

other funny thing as well. It's grazed his leg. He's in a non-critical condition. The police have deemed it accidental. He assures everyone Oreo's a friendly dog. There's a photo of Oreo. Oreo, sweet. Sorry, pity you said. But yeah, yeah.

Is it people? Sorry, people, yeah. Is he people? Yeah, yeah. There he is right there. Wow. But I don't know if Oreo has actually shot him or if he's done it to himself. Yes. I mean, it's hard. Not that I or if he's done it to himself. Yes.

I mean, it's hard. Not that I know guns that well, but a shotgun's giant. They're huge. Huge. Unless it was pointing up at him and, jeez, that would have got the fry for his life. Absolutely. Or is he showing it off to his lady friend and then all of a sudden he's like, oh, and he accidentally shot himself in the leg. He's taken the safety off.

But. And blamed Oreo because no one's getting mad. It's like my dog ate it. At the little doggie. You can't, like, well, so the question is on 131060. Oh, my God. I was asleep and. Can I tell you a story about my Nana Borg?

Have I ever told you about Nana Borg? No. My mum's mum. I thought your brother was Borg. Yeah, that's where the nickname came from. My mum's maiden name, so Nana Borg. Oh, Borg, you're right. Because I think my brother feels more Maltese to me than Italian,

so I nicknamed him Borg. Borg is an ugly name, just quietly. Listen, that's the third most common name in Malta. I love Borg. Sorry about Malta audience. All the Maltese offside. Well, one person's just tuned out. Vella, Mikulov and Borg.

I've just been banned from Malta. Beautiful place. I'm never going. It's a freaking beautiful place. The food, disgusting. But the actual place, Gozo, unbelievable place. Oh, beautiful area. Nana Borg. The cattle beautiful area. Nanaborg.

The cattle. She was a tough woman. She was a tough woman, all right? But this story will stand the test of time. Valet Nanaborg. My mum told me that one time. Nanaborg had gone to bed and a couple of hours later has come screaming out of the bedroom. Parborg at the time going, oh my God.

Oh my God. Try guys, roll them oh, my God. Oh, my God. Try guys, roll them. Oh, my God. I'm coming. Not the board. You've been asleep peacefully. What's going on in the bedroom? Yeah.

She had been dozing. Yes. Having a lovely sleep where she feels a pitter-patter on her face. What's that? What's that? And then it got enough that it woke her up. She's like, what is this? What is this pitter-patter I'm feeling on my face? Is the ceiling leaking?

Has turned her bedside lamp on. A spider had given birth, had done the sack in the corner of their room. You know, the egg sack. Yeah, they give birth to so many babies. It's a sack. The egg sack of spiders. All right, David Attenborough. The spiders had hatched.

So all her ceiling was covered in baby spiders and they were dropping down from the ceiling. Oh, disgusting. Pitter patter, pitter patter as they dropped. On her face. On her face. No. And it woke her up as she's come screaming out.

In the face. Trying to wipe away these baby spiders. Paborg's gone in the ceiling covered. And Paborg hates spiders. Whoborg's gone in the ceiling covered. And Parborg hates spiders. Who wants that many spiders in their bedroom? I can take one or two, but not a plethora of spiders. A spider sack. A full sack of spider.

Hatching. Yeah, no way. And then dropping down on sweet Nana Borg's face. Oh, goodness. How do you ever close your eyes again in the dark? I don't think you could. Yeah, could I? Also, how'd they miss the sack in the corner?

Look up into your corners, guys. Molta, man. Molta, man. They're just chilling out. I think this was once I'd come to Australia, but that's beside the point. It stands to reason she went, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was asleep.

And? And spiders dropped down on my face. Spider sack on the face. Spider sack on the face. So, 13, 10, 60. What do you got for us? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I was asleep and... Finish the sentence. Yes. Do a for us? Oh my god. I was asleep and finish the sentence. Yes, do a leap at tickets for grabs. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. We are walking in Memphis. Well, Gerald isn't. Well, Gerald, no, he's limping for a while.

He's limping in Memphis. Because Gerald Kirkwood got shot by his own shotgun from his dog, Oreo, while he was asleep. He had the shotgun on the bed at the time. We do not know why. But Oreo at 4am went, I want a hug with daddy. Jumped up on the bed and has somehow, with his opposable dog thumbs, pulled the freaking trigger of the shotgun. Dogs are crazy like that.

You know what I mean? Gerald is limping into IGA to buy some band-aids because it's crazy. That local Memphis IGA they've got going on. He's stumbling in there. And he had a lady friend in the bed who left before the cops got there. She was obviously like, if your dog's going to shoot you in the middle of the night, I'm out of here. See you.

See you, Gerald. Do you go out and buy your dog way better dog food? Because clearly he's not happy with you. Or is it now, I can't trust you ever again. I don't think you can ever have a lady friend over again. I just think from now on it's just Gerald and Oreo and the shotgun. Maybe that's what Oreo was trying to do, scare the lady off. Probably.

I don't want anyone coming in between me and Daddy. It begs the question though on 131060, oh my God, I was asleep and. Let's go to 11-year-old Tate. Good morning. Good morning. Can you give us your best, oh my God, my God. I was asleep and. Let's go to 11-year-old Tate. Good morning. Good morning. Can you give us your best, oh, my God, Tate? Oh, my God. That was very good.

Now, finish that sentence. You were asleep and. I was driving my uncle on the way back from Wellington, back to Newcastle, and they put earplugs, noise-canclling ones for workers, they put it in my nose and inside my ears. Up your nose? To block you out?

Did you wake up choking? No. Why did they do that to you, Tate? I don't know. Nah, they got him good, though. Because they're mean. They're mean. Good prank, though.

Yeah, it's pretty funny. You know, it's like hazing your young apprentice. Yeah, got him good. Got him good they're mean. They're mean. Good prank, though. Yeah, it's pretty funny. You know, it's like hazing the young apprentice. Yeah, got him good. Got him good. Thank you, Tate. We go to Krista on 131060. Krista, give us the sentence.

Oh, my God, guys. Oh, my God. Krista, what happened? Oh, my God. When I was a lot younger, I went to bed with my boyfriend at the time and just spooning, you know, going to sleep all innocent. Woke up in the middle of the night and he had peed on my back, peed in his sleep thinking I was a urinal. Yep.

Was he drunk? Was he drunk? No, I don't think he was. I've done that a lot of times. I have been known to sometimes when I'm very intoxicated, get up in the corner of the room and wee in the corner of the room. So you've sort of passed out, gone to sleep and then gone, God, I'm busted?

Morgan's like, Ducko, no, no. I'm in the corner of the room just leaning on her. I did it in her parents' house once. Yeah, in their living room. It's not good. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Krista.

Krista. So what did you do when you woke up? Because he's your boyfriend and you've got wee on your back. Oh, look. Yeah, I try not to make it too big of a deal because I'm sure he was quite embarrassed. That deserves to be made a big deal of. Just big wet patch on the back. Well, he's an ex for a reason.

That's right. That's right. That story's not getting brought up at the wedding. We never get to wedding stage. Never get to wedding, yeah. Luke, good morning to you. How you going? Yeah, pretty good.

Give us your best. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I morning to you. How you going? Yeah, pretty good. Give us your best. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Hoppy V. What happened to your best mate when he was asleep? Well, he tends to like to talk in his sleep, so after a night out, me and his sister got his credit card details out of him so she could get her formal hair done and dressed. He knows his credit card details well enough to just rattle them off in his sleep?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He was, yeah, it's not the only thing he used to give out when he was asleep. Some intimate information? Nah, just other details. Just, yeah, he was very vulnerable when he was asleep. Any question you ask him, he'd tell you the truth. Jeez.

Sleep talking. And with a best mate like Luke, you're going to get taken advantage of. Luke's got you alright. You wake up, you've been fleeced by Luke. We go to Evie to finish us off here. Evie, give us your best. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.

When I was a lot younger, my mum and dad were out at a party or something and I was at home with my brothers. My brother put me to sleep and then I woke up. I think I wanted a drink or something and I woke up and I looked up at the ceiling and there was a bat just hanging in the corner of the bedroom. Oh, that's horrifying. Oh, my God.

Do you sleep with your windows open or something? How did it get in? I don't know how it got in, but, yeah it just, I looked up and it was just there. So my brother had to get the broom and frigging shoo it out. You get bitten by those things. That's rabies. Absolutely. Yeah, that's how COVID began.

You know what I mean? 100%. Oh, Evie's going, this is my origin story. I am Batman. Truly. Actually, if I was young Evie and I saw a Batman, I'd be like, Rachel, take me. Jeez, that Dua Lipa ticket. They're not far away.

They are not far away. No. 20 minutes. We draw those. I don't think we have another opportunity for you to get involved now, so stick around. If you've been on the air at all with us this week, everyone from Alpha Bucks to what was your least favourite lolly, you just stick around. What's your

least favourite? I wasn't here when you and Barth were discussing. I don't like teeth or bananas. Teeth are gross. Spearmint stuff's pretty average too. To be honest, I'm not a fan of lollies in general. You don't really like lollies. No. You're not a lolly person.

Not a lolly person. And I got myself a nice Kinder last night, a little Kinder surprise. The egg. Yeah. You such a baby. I like it. Molly was like, do you want the Kinder egg? I was like, it's been a good week.

What toy did you get? I don't know. I struggle to build them. They can be complicated. God forbid it's a puzzle. Oh, maybe it's a puzzle. Just give me the tiny tractor and let me go about my day. I've written that many emails to Kinder.

Your puzzles are too hard. I'm 33 years of age and I cannot do it. I'm glad you treated yourself. Oh, no one didn't join in our McDonald's party this morning. You've had your treat for the week. I've had my one treat for the week. One thing to eat. And we have our big lunch today, our listener team lunch with the rice cookers.

That's right. We're going to the Belmont 16s. We're going to Martha. Martha. It's going to be bloody beautiful as the sun breaks through this fog we're experiencing this morning. It's going to be a heat wave this weekend. Oh, really? Yeah, she's going to be warm. Okay. Yeah, she's going to be bloody beautiful as the sun breaks through this fog we're experiencing this morning. It's going to be a heat wave this weekend. Oh, really?

Yeah, she's going to be warm. Okay. Yeah, she's going to be very warm for most parts. Well, nice day to have a limoncello spritz and an espresso martini. Espresso martini on Bailey's. I picked a hell of a day for that. That's the drink. You're going to be bouncing off the walls.

Shago, Will, are you coming, Shago? I don't know yet. Oh. Come on, mate. Look, he got this chai drink from Macca's and he's only made his way halfway through. I don't think he's feeling great. I reckon put in, just come on. Just come.

Can you imagine Shy Guy on one espresso martini? Oh, I'd love to see. Can we get you on one? It might kill all the things that's going on in you right now. No, I can't. Do you know what to do that? Just a shot of Sambuca. Oh, Sambuca.

Just kill everything in you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patron? That doesn't in you right now. No, I can't. Do you know where to do that? Just a shot of Sambuca. Oh, Sambuca. Just kill everything in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Patron? That doesn't belong. Come on. No. I reckon you're coming to the lunch today. Babs really wants me to.

I bet she does, because otherwise she'll have no one to talk to. God forbid she speak to anyone else. That's so true. You know what I did say? I was thinking about it after your baby shower. These two, they're just so cute. They just tuck themselves in a corner. They do at my baby shower. Same two, they're just so cute. They just tuck themselves in a corner.

They do. At my baby shower. Same at your Lucia's first birthday. Yeah. They just in a corner. They found the corner in the backyard. And it's funny because Angus and I were debating because I said, oh, you know, good on them because I saw them chatting to some of your friends.

I'm sure your friends made their way over because they didn't move the whole time. They encroached in their bubble. But I was like, why didn't they take a seat? Like, you know, get comfortable. And Angus went, no, standing leaves them open. Standing would have left them open to people engaging with them, whereas sitting probably felt more closed off. So good on you guys for keeping the body language open, Angus noted.

Was it that or was it because people were sitting at the table so they didn't know where to sit at those tables? They didn't want to sit next to randoms. But there was enough tables that they could have maybe parked at their own. But no, they chose, granted, they had one foot so near the door. Oh, they were at the door. You guys didn't leave the door. I was like, come in, get some drinks.

It was very sweet to see them together, supporting each other. I was trying to get Babs drinks. I'm like, it's free alcohol, Babs, go for it. She's like, I've had one wine. I was like, yes. Yeah, but she was going on that soccer. She went on that pub crawl. Pub crawl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. With her crew. Oh, and she, you haven't heard Babs' Uber story she told me when we did our show together. I'm sorry I haven't gone back on the pod. Oh, she got a bad review in an Uber, drunken bad review. Dressed as a cowgirl as well. Yeah, but my friend was also dressed as Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Yeah, painted red. So she was the one that got the one star. And then she said, do you like Jess and Darko? Do you know Babs? That's Babs while Babs is in the back seat. And what did the Uber driver say? He said, I don't know. I just listen to the radio.

Great. And they got a one star review. And they got a one star review. And probably got red paint all over this guy's car. That's called Jess and Ducko guerrilla marketing. It's what we do. Bam, we'll get you up. Bam, we'll get you up.

Jess and Ducko. Normally we have Shy Guy's diary. He's been away. The show's been pretty much away. So, we'll get you. Jess and Daco. Normally we have Shy Guy's diary. He's been away. The show's been pretty much away. So Babs got full control. Absolutely. She realised, hang on a minute, Friday's fast approaching. We're going to need to take a look back at the week that was,

albeit two of those shows were best ofs. I was down for one of those extra days. Lucky. Lucky she had that little diary. And we get to see the week from her perspective Power hungry, is this how I'd describe it? It's gone to her head, that is for sure At 6.01 she said, I'm going home

I've done enough this week Because she couldn't handle the heat I heard her bitching about other people in the office I was like, you've gone full breakfast talent That's not true I'm a sweet angel in this office, thank you She was ripping and tearing on the sales team. Ripping and tearing.

Oh, and the mics went off. Oh, goodness me. There's something about this chair. It does something. It does something to your head. We're good people. Here's our diary. Well, what an extremely short week it's been with Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Shy Guy have been sick and away, meaning I had to really step up this week. I don't think it went to my head at all. It was a burn around the ding-a-ding. Honey, he's rich. There's only one show to wake up with. Babs. Babs is tired, so it's becoming an issue.

Ducko. How hard is it to say, you're right, take my butt plug out? This is Babs and Ducko. Great camera action. Good morning. We didn't get sick from the baby shower, so we're still going to be here doing something, Babs. Yeah, we're here.

You get to step up today. I know, I'm scared. I feel like I've lied on my resume too many times. Somehow I'm here. And here you are. Yeah, I'm here. You went from receptionist in the office to now doing this show with me. Yeah, I'm sitting in Jess's chair.

Yeah, this is a big moment for you. Yeah, it's a bit moist. The moment's moist or Jess's chair? Jess's chair. Yeah, swamp crotch. We're getting text in on the text line. 0488881069. Someone said,

Shy Guy's faking it. I love that. Is Shy Guy actually sick? But I love this one. Tony said, Morning, guys. Is it like a sporting team in there at the moment? If Babs does a really good job,

does Jess come back to the bench and become producer Jess? The answer is, I am open to a car ambassadorship, so yes. Yes! Good morning, Wade. Good morning, Ducko and Babs. Ah, there you go. That's cool.

You want that, Babs? She's getting used to the hot seat, Wade. Even Ducko had more responsibility than usual, and he crumbled. Jess came back and was quick to let him know that too. A sauce. Aioli. An apple. An animal. Alpaca. So the letter was A. The letter was A. Yeah. And I asked her, when I looked down at the sheet and saw animal, I asked her for an apple.

You did. Now, I just want to ask you a question. I thought dyslexia was jumbling the letters. It is. But you've just made up new letters. I've just had an absolute doozy. I don't know. It's like swapping letters from above and before.

Oh, you're pulling letters from anywhere on the page. I can't remember what was below it bad. What was the question below? Something you page. I can't remember what was below it, Bab. What was the question? Something you wear. Can't justify that. I need to know where the P's were on the piece of paper. Whoops. Anyway, it was nice to have Jess back, though. Even if it took her a hot minute to get back into it. Right

now, we need to talk ghost poos. We must. We must. So Julia Barton, who's a physical therapist at Stanford, calls them unicorn poops or no wipers. No wipers is good. I like those. NWs.

Yeah, NWs is very good. Someone else calls them, what's this? Dr. Ira Leeds in Yale calls them the Nirvana poops. I thought someone called them the Dr. Ira Leeds. I'm like, what does that mean? Why would you do that? Sorry, the Doctor Who. Yeah.

She's from Yale. I never watch Doctor Who. Does he disappear? Nirvana poops. Oh, sorry. Nirvana. Yeah, I appreciate it. Where am I getting Doctor Who. Yeah. I was never a... She's from Yale. I never watched Doctor Who. Does he disappear? Nirvana poops. Oh, sorry. Nirvana. Yeah, I'm... Where am I getting Doctor Who?

I don't know. You got Doctor Ira Leeds from Yale Medicine. I don't know. Ah, you've been away for a few days. We'll get you back to match fitness. It's like you're coming back from an injury. It's a soft tissue. We're just trying to ease you into it.

Did I just black out? What am I saying? I'm going to stop. Continue. But did you see how I supported you? I was like, yeah, yeah, whatever she said. Anyway. You're a good friend.

Well, what a humbling week. Don't worry, guys. The team will be back next week, and there is no chance you'll see me in Jess's chair ever again after this. Tell you what, Babs was trying to gun for a car ambassador shit yesterday. She was in your chair for two seconds, and she was trying to get free wheels. Which badge was she after? She seems like a Nissan girl to yesterday. She was in your chair for two seconds and she was trying to get free wheels. Which badge was she after? She seems like a Nissan girl to me.

She didn't care. Honestly, I'm not picky. Anything's good. She just said, I'll take a car. If anyone's listening. Does this seat get you a car ambassador? Yeah, it gets a car. She would have a teeth whitening kit sent in straight away after the show.

And those scrunch bum leggings, which she's wearing to death. Also, my brows look a bit crap at the moment. All right, relax, baby. It takes years to get this stuff. She's wearing to death. Also, my brows look a bit crap at the moment. All right, relax, babe. There's something. Cash for comment. We're not allowed. It takes years to get this stuff. You know what someone said, Nick, in our promotion scene. We came out yesterday.

And he was like, well done, guys. He goes, oh, my God. I was listening. I was like, it sounds like a dad and daughter show. Okay, there's like four years between. It's definitely ten years. Yeah, but you're an old soul. And he's young at heart.

So, I mean, surely you'll be. Anything else, I'm load-bearing and old. Yes, you are. What else? And your eyebrows suck. Your words, not mine. And you'll never have a car from us. See you next week, Rice Cookers.

Jess and Ducko. Pop Dipper's Bardua Looper. She's going to be in Sydney on the 26th, I believe. Oh, yeah. And you can see her live in concert, plus have a place to rest your head for the evening. We're going to send you down to Sydney and then what, make you drive home? No, no, no. You're saying the newly opened Ridges Australia Square. This thing is incredible.

It's refreshingly local hospitality, but it's right in the heart of Sydney. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. So if you want it to be there, you just need to get involved in the show. We do thank you for bearing with us. I was off Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You know, the opportunities to get involved were a bit smaller this week. But we still had amazing contributions

and we thank every single one of you for taking the time to get involved. Always. We couldn't go past someone from this very morning though, Ducko. I shared with you how my mother-in-law look, we can say inadvertently or accidentally or unintentionally savaged me, but she savaged me nonetheless.

She got you. She got me good, so I wanted to know. Burn. Burn. We wanted to know what experience have you had with your mother-in-law or father-in-law savaging you? Yeah. And Emily got in touch and said her mum and mother-in-law teamed up. Oh, that's a doozy.

With an absolute ripper. Okay, this wasn't a one-off comment. This was like a whole behind-the-scenes operation. We were about to start a family, and my mother-in-law wasn't happy with the structural integrity of our pool fence, so she copied the late Macquarie Council letterhead and wrote a letter to us saying that we needed to fix the pool fence or we would be fined. No! And it was a big operation fix the pool fence or we would be fine.

No. And it was a big operation behind the scenes and we fell for it. Oh, my. And she was being fully legit. It wasn't a joke. It was like, I'm doing this so they make it. For your own good, they take it seriously. Yeah, and she got found out because I went in my mum's inbox

and I found their scheming. Emily, was there actually something wrong with the fence or were they just looking at it with their mother eyes going, nah, it can be better? I hadn't even had a baby yet. And they were still worried. They were just worried about future babies. We love it.

We love a mum and a mother-in-law teaming up to get stuff done. And it's won Emily the call of fame. Yeah, you're off to do a leaper, babe. Oh, what a good one. We were only listening to her last night. What's your favourite song? Do you like a bit of IDGAF? No, I'm levitating.

She's a levitating gal, Emily. We'll enjoy levitating and enjoy them all because you're off there. Are you going to take Hubby? Who are you taking? I'll probably take Hubby because he's a fan as well. Oh, fantastic. I was going to say, because she can't take hubby because he's a fan as well. Oh, fans. We love it. Because, you know, she can't take her mum or the mother-in-law.

Don't take them. The mums would be upset. Yeah, absolutely. You enjoy M Tagus in your pics, okay? Okay, thank you so much. Thanks, Gorge. Next week, we have something very, very exciting. I'm going to say these are the best prizes collectively

because it's like a co-pod. We're doing it every single day. Couldn't agree more. But you don't even need to tell us a story. When our promotions manager, Nick, was rattling off the prizes involved with this, my jaw was on the floor. Me too. I couldn't believe it.

Could not believe it. Can we launch it now? I think we should. Okay, next week we have... Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco homes. Ducko's Baby Registry. So tell me. I'm St. Nick, just gifting.

Tell me what's happened to you, Ducko, because you were left in charge of one thing, organising just one thing for your baby, and you fumbled the ball. Well, Morgan said, get some good things for the baby registry. And I said, sure, I'm going to buy, like, a PlayStation. I'm going to buy some things that I want, a massive TV, all sorts of cool things. I want this, I want that, make my life PlayStation. I'm going to buy some things that I want, a massive TV, all sorts of cool things.

I want that. Make my life easier. Morgan's like, that's not swaddles. That is not bottles. I didn't see one jar of Suda cream on your baby registry. I was like, didn't we get everything we needed from Jess? She's like, no, we got lots of clothes and maybe a travel pram and a little bath, but not everything else. I gave you that thermometer to go with the bath at night.

Yeah, good. You've got that. That's good. So I realized I mucked up. So I'm going to share my gift registry with you, the rice cookers. Next week, every single day, you are listening out for the baby sound effect throughout the show.

It could happen any time. It could happen from 6am. Yep. Any time. Any time. You hear that, you call in. We're going to pick one thing that Ducko put on this list that is so non-baby related. It's ridiculous.

I don't know what you were thinking. I'm crazy like that. But now the rice cookers get to enjoy because Monday, what I'm pulling off your baby registry, which, look, it could be argued you and Morgan would have got some legs out of this, but it's not baby related enough to be on a registry. Yeah. It's a Woolworths voucher worth $1,000.

Did you say $1,000? $1,000. God, I had Shy Guy's credit card and I was going nuts when I bought some things. You were just blindly adding to cart, adding to cart, adding to cart, but it's not yours to keep. Not mine. We're going to give it to the rice cookers, the first one to call through when they hear that, as you said,

that little invitation. Call now. But we have staycations. We have flat screen TVs. There is a PlayStation in there. Put a freaking robo back on this thing. Yeah, there's a top of line. I think the robo back with legs.

That's got nothing to do with a baby. I know. And you put it on a registry. So it only stands to reason we take it off you. You're welcome, Rice Cookers. You are welcome. We actually should be very happy he had this sort of brain fart moment. Oops.

All the staycations. How many baby moons did you think you were going to need? A few. A few, obviously. That's my last, last, last, last hurrah. No, no. Morgan said the baby shower, you're done. She said to me,

so I'm taking the three staycations off your baby registry and we're giving it to the rice cookers. We have a lunch show with our rice cookers. We do. Morgan said, what time are you going to be home? I said, I don't know, worry about it. Don't worry, Morgan. I'm driving. I'll get him home in a reasonable hour.

She said, no, you need to be able to drive because, you know, we're on watch now. She's packed the go bag. We're ready to go. Holy crap. Is it sitting by the front door? Yeah, it is. And she's like, do you want to pack into the go bag?

I was like, yeah. Who's in charge of snacks? You or her? I presume her. I'm not, because I don't, you know, I don't know what she'd want. My snacks she won't want. I'll be like, here's some nuts and an apple. Yeah.

No one wants scroggin' when they're just pushed out of kids. Honey, you want some scroggin'? And you get the non-chocolate bits one too. God, I'm not a psycho. You know? Would you like some beef jerky, honey? I'll just have it then. More for me.

Angus and I took an esky in because I had lasagnas. My father-in-law had made wonton noodle soup. You moved into that hospital room. You had wallpaper. All the patient fr-law had made wonton noodle soup. You moved into that hospital room. You had wallpaper. All the patient fridges in the tea rooms were full, so we had to commandeer the nurse fridges in the staff room. They would have loved you.

It was a whole thing, but that's very exciting. It's exciting. So anyway, that's happening next week. $1,000 up for grabs on the show to spend at Woolies. That's going to be unreal. Let alone, we actually have a co-fod next week, every day, as well. Do we? As well, brother. What's. Let alone we actually have a co-fod next week every day as well. Do we? As well, brother.

What's the co-fod? The co-fod is a Newcastle Food Month experience every single day. And accommodation. With accommodation at the beautiful Crystal Brook Kingsley here in Newey. Can't we good to our rice cookers? I don't know how we're fitting it all in. It's like we're trying to buy them back after we were off for three days this week. And I think it's going to work.

I think it could work, yeah. I think it's going to work. People forget. Hey work, yeah. I think it's going to work. People forget. Hey, great week this week, everyone. Babs, good week from you. Oh, Babs, absolutely. She's getting a pay rise. Thanks.

We'll skim it off Shy Guys because he's done no work this week. I know. So you may as well siphon it. You coming to lunch today, mate? I don't know yet. Oh, jeez. That's it. I need a rest first.

Stop asking me that. He was in such a good mood at 6.05 and he's up and again. Don't squirt me. Hey, we're out of here. Enjoy your a nice... Stop asking me that. He was in such a good mood at 6.05 and he's up and again. Don't squirt me. Hey, we're out of here. Enjoy your weekends. Be safe, be good, be kind. Bye-bye. Bye.

So our guy's just done a cheeky Macca's order for us because everyone's feeling a little bit, you know, 25% capacity. No, no, no, no. Let's go through who's ordered the freaking Macca's in this room. I was going to say, there's only two of us getting it

and it's not me or Ducko. There's two of us who've been here all week, and we didn't. Oh, they do two shows together, and now they're just, we didn't order the Maccas. You're getting a coffee. The two Wheezy's over there got themselves 17 hasprouts. Ducco goes, all right, Mr. Fitness. Put in a full week, eh?

Then we'll see who's laughing. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Maccas firing you spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.