Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Sorry you feel that way

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

Jess talks about her first kiss, Ducko learns the art of a perineum massage and we play Year of the Song!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

McCafe's Almond Flavoured Iced Latte is here for a limited time. So, Macca's run? Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo Podcast. Hi everyone. Hey. Hey team. What did you think of today, Duckman?

Good, you know, as far as Tuesdays go. Yeah. It wasn't a bad show. Excellent. We love Not Bad. Yeah. Look, was it fantastic? Maybe not.

Would prefer Extraordinary. Yeah, yeah. Phenomenal. Sensational. But I'll take not bad. Take a little not bad. Take a lot not bad. When a cyclone is beating down our door, you'll take a not bad.

Alfred, cyclone, Alfred's coming in. Alfred. Are we back to the top of the alphabet? Must be. Is that how it works? Flaming galahs. I thought they went through A to Z. Yeah, A to Z, yep.

Yeah, so I don't remember what the last one was, but it must have been Zali. Or Zephyr. Yeah, can you do what the last cyclone was? Because, yeah, I'm pretty sure this one's called Alfred. And that's moving off the coast of Queensland and northern New South Wales. When you think Alfred is your first thought home and away, oh, see, I go straight to Batman. Oh, of course.

It's one of those names, I think it really conjures up an image for you. Well, to be fair, Michael Caine, Ray Ma, they're all sort of the same look. They are, yeah. Old white dude with not much hair on top. Can't you imagine a cyclone as Ray Ma rolling in? Like, oh, you're flaming galah. Of the two Alfreds,

you're right. Yeah, because Alfred's too nice. Yes, and he's very helpful. Yeah, yeah. Cyclone's not helpful. Cyclone's not helpful. Much more flaming galah. So it's set to hit, I saw this yesterday, it's set to hit like Brisbane and parts of like southern East Queensland, northern New South Wales, like Lismore is getting pumped. Oh, no.

Yes. Brunswick, Kingscliff. They've been through enough, Lismore. Yeah, all those areas set to get pumped. But I don't know if it's going to be massive like it says it is. Totally. Or if it's going to. Anything where wind is involved, that could blow anyway.

Yeah. It could blow north, could blow south. Hey, it could be kept out to sea. But are the meteorologists saying, nah, strap in? It appears that way. Nah, I could blow anyway. Yeah. Could blow north, could blow south. Hey, it could be kept out to sea. Yeah. But are the meteorologists saying, nah, strap in? It appears that way. It appears that way. Flights in Brisbane might be grounded on Friday.

Which is when you're expecting an influx of family. Yes, for the baby shower. Of course this is happening. We're having a baby shower and there's a cyclone. You just cannot. Honestly. You need to. Honestly.

What's the way to silently tell people you're having a party? What we need to do is just plan things that are only good in wet weather. And that way. Slip and slides. That way. Good for a pregnant lady. It'll be sunny. It'll be sunny.

And then we'll go, okay, well, at least it's sunny. Okay. We want to do a ski holiday, everyone. Yeah, yeah. Let's meet at our house at 11. Yeah. And then it'll be clear skies. Ah, gotcha, universe.

We're actually having a baby shower. Yeah, gotcha, you suckers. Yeah. What other things? We're going to do a wet weather baby shower. Everyone bring a raincoat. Love that. You wanted to have a hat party.

Yeah. You know, rain hat party, umbrella party. Umbrella party can be fun. What about those stupid little umbrella hats golfers wear? Oh, yeah. We could all wear those. Oh, like the, like the Peaky Blinders hat. No, no.

Like their little umbrellas. Or a visor. No, no. Like the actual umbrellas. You know the ones. No, no. Like the actual umbrellas. You know the ones that's just like a strap that goes around your head? I don't know if golfers wear that. Have I made that up? I think that's just a novelty hat.

Oh, just be a novelty hat. Yeah, we could all wear those. Maybe it was someone in the crowd in the Happy Gilmore movie. Yeah. I assumed it was golfers. We could all wear those. We could. That'd be fun.

Babs, what hat are you wearing to the hat party? A cowgirl hat. Oh, yeah. That's hot. Babs is coming as a cow to the party. Love that. We could. That'd be fun. Babs, what hat are you wearing to the hat party? A cowgirl hat. Oh, yeah. Babs is coming as a cow to the party. Love that. Wouldn't you be nice? Love that. Oh, that's right, with the blow-up gloves, latex gloves on her titties as hers. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm going as a cowgirl.

Oh, so no more cowgirls. I didn't want to have to go buy a costume and bring everything at home. You own a cowgirl outfit. Yeah. Well, I've got the cowgirl boots. I just wear a skirt. Have you seen a cowgirl hat's on my desk? Yeah, I need a black one, though. Well, you don't want a sexy, like, I've got a pink one or I've got a...

No, I want black so it matches my shoes, I think. Because everyone will notice that. You could be Pink Pony Club, though. Yeah, and there's also another. I've got, like, it's a black and brownie polka dot. Well, not polka dot, but... Almost like a... Yeah, like cattle print. Cattle print. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is, yeah. That seems very on brand. Might have to dot. Well, not polka dot. Almost like a. Like a. Yeah, like cattle print.

Cattle print. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is, yeah. That seems very on brand. Might have to borrow. Yeah, you can borrow it. And what hat will Shia go with? I might have to borrow it if Babs doesn't use it.

Okay. Right, what are you going as? I've always got a regular hat. Hat party. Hat party, obviously. Only you throw me in the hats. Yankee's hat is all I've got. Oh, come on.

We can get more adventurous than that. Yeah, come on. Yeah. We'll go find you one of these umbrella things I swear I've seen somewhere. Go. They exist. Yeah, I know what you're talking about now. Do you know what's at Spotlight actually?

Yeah. Because obviously Easter is around the corner. A lot of Easter hats. I'm assuming it's for parents who don't want to help their children make the hat. So you can just go buy and it's like a bunny or like a carrot in a field. You'll get shot with one of those. That would be fun. Baby chicks.

That could be cute. That could be cute. That could be cute. You're hatching. Then you could enter your local primary school's Easter hat parade. I won't be entering any local primary schools. I'll be on a watch. You're not allowed near primary schools. I'm allowed at the moment.

At the moment? But you shouldn't. But you know, if certain things come out, I won't be. Just shy guy on some swings. How good's a swing, though? See, this is why you shouldn't go. Maybe not within the grounds of a primers, but at a park. I've been doing a lot of playgrounds recently with the little one.

Swings are out. You know what's in? Oh, the big circle thing? Yes. I saw that the other day. How would you describe it? Like a big ring. Yeah, it's like a big ring.

But it's adjacent to the ground. More dangerous. Way more dangerous. It's hung on, I guess, a triangular set up. And? Like a big ring. Yeah, it's like a big ring. But it's adjacent to the ground. More dangerous. Way more dangerous. It's hung on, I guess, a triangular set up. And it's a big net, in essence. Three or four kids could sit on it. Yeah, but more dangerous. You need someone to push.

You get more speed, too. You need someone to push. You can't get momentum on those things on your own. There's no safety buckle. You can't really hold on because it's so far apart. I was at a playground the other day and saw the kid pushing it. And then the swimmer hit the kid. The kid went flying. He was pushing it. I was the swimmer back hit the kid. The kid went flying.

He was pushing it. I was like, this is not safe for anyone. I went to one and it was for, I'm going to say, 11, 12-year-olds. You know, they rented their risk-taking era. And they were fully getting, they were all standing around the rim of it. Yeah. And, like, really launching their bodies to try and get as much. I'm going to do a 360.

Go over it. Yeah. Where are your parents? It's like the girl in Recess who could swing over the swing set. Oh my god. Okay, can you play the niche thing? Oh, do you mean I thought you went to your school? No, no, like the show Recess.

The Disney show. Did I nail it? No. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too mean. What was her name? Recess the show. I thought you... You would actually love Recess. I genuinely thought you meant like at your school, at Recess,

you saw a kid do this. That show? Never. And it's always about them at Recess. Oh, my God. You've mentioned a freaking show. I don't even know. Swing.

Who the hell are these? I'll show you the swing girl. There was a girl who... Oh, yeah. And she was like always attempting to do... What's her name? She was always attempting to swing around the swing set. Is she the badass looking one?

No. In the beanie? Oh, no. What's her name? Not the nerdy girl. Not the big guy. Her name was Swinger. Swinger kid.

No way. And she'd wear, like, flying equipment. You would love Recess. I reckon I would. It was a great show. It's giving Hey Arnold. Yeah, a little bit. It's that era. Recess was a great show. It's giving Hey Arnold? Yeah, a little bit. It's that era. Recess

was a great show. Wow, never heard of it. I did like Recess, but I don't know that reference. Oh, the swinging girl. See, that's her on the swing, getting ready to take off. Was she not in the main crew? No, she's not in the main crew. Nah, she's not one of the main gals. Recess is one of the great shows. Check it out.

You will like it. Okay. And they always plan things at Recess. They have all the different cliques in the schoolyard. Any show that will then create another opportunity for a niche reference. I am all around. That's about as niche as I get, I reckon. That was amazing. I've seen the movie. Is it a recess film?

What? I haven't seen the TV show. I've seen the movie. Tomorrow, I'm crowbar and iCarly onto the show. You get ready. I love iCarly. I know iCarly. Spaghetti taco.

I didn't like iCarly, though. I liked it. Gib ready. I love iCarly. I know iCarly. Spaghetti tacos. I didn't like iCarly though. I liked it. Gibby. I love Gibby. He always had his shirt off. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. All right, recess boy.

Check it out though. Check it out today. I will. Sorry, on what? Disney Plus. It's a Disney show. It'll be on Disney Plus. We've lost our Disney login.

I was about to ask you for it. They've upped it, so you're not allowed to share anymore. So we used to share it with Morgan's family. They're cracking down. And now we can't do it. We've got more recess for the duck now. I know. Same thing happened at home.

I now pay for a second subscription for my mother. Oh, you're a good son. She doesn't know how to. Well, she needs to watch recess. I'm paying for Disney Plus twice. Can we? You work hard. Can we?

Yeah, come on, mate. You earn great money. Yeah, look after your mother. Dwayne The Rock Johnson buying his mum a house. You can pay for Disney Plus. We only earned $88 million last year. As a company. The Rock.

Oh. I was like, what are you doing? That was the article I sent yesterday. Top earning actors. Top earning actors, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hugh Jackman top five. Yeah.

From what? The Wolverine stuff? Must be Wolverine. Must be some of the musical theatre stuff he does as well. Oh, is it not just from Hollywood? Yeah, I think it's just like Kevin Hart was number three or four. Didn't do a book. Ryan Reynolds was number two, I think.

Yeah. And he's a producer in a lot of stuff, isn't he? Yeah, that's where they get it. And The Rock's a producer as well. And it's like Jay-Z and Dre. They get all their money from, you know. Yeah, producing. Writing and producing.

Yeah, finding other people. Credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, well, there you go. Well, what I'm saying is the equivalent of The Rock worth $88 million buying his mama a house is you earning buying your mama Disney Plus. Yeah, yeah. We all can surely in our means.

It's only $8 a month. Surely we can get some free Disney Plus somewhere, should I go? I have asked. Okay. Have you asked Walt? Well, I followed up on your free binge subscription. This was an off-air chat. Oh, yeah.

The binge won't be around for much longer. Oh, what's happened to it? Binge is really good, though. Max is starting, which is HBO's thing. Oh, HBO Max. So that will take all of the content from binge. But our binge accounts will just turn to Max, yeah? Wow.

Because that's what the states have. They've got HBO Max. They don't have binge. But our binge is their HBO. But all the stuff that lives on binge lives there. We'll go to HBO Max. Max, yeah? Wow. Because that's what the States have. They've got HBO Max. They don't have Binge. But our Binge is their HBO. But all the stuff that lives on Binge lives there. We'll go to HBO Max. Yeah, yeah. They've also got more on HBO Max.

That's where the new Harry Potter show will be. I was about to say, HBO, Sex and the City. Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah. Entourage, all those. They'll just move from Binge onto that. True Blood. You love a vampire.

But there'll be an overlap. You love a bit of fucking raunchy. Oh, righto. You do, you do. A little teeth in neck action. A little teeth in neck shit, yeah. A fucking raunchy. Oh, righto. You do, you do. A little teeth in neck action. A little teeth in neck shit, yeah. A little raunchy stuff over there. You know, a little dragon peon.

You can't. Oh, I really do, but I'm quite happy to admit it. You just get all nervous. I get all hot and bothered. Yeah, you've got to say that. She's been online today, don't you reckon? You've had a different aura about you today. A bit of different energy.

What sort of energy? Look at her. Combative is the energy I would just like. I'm ready to fight. Like IDGAF. You know what I mean? What happened to you last night? Oh, see, I think it's giving.

I give many. And I'm not here to F around. Did something happen? Are we not? Because you two are laughing at each other like something's happened. Did Newcastle run out of matcha? Are you two teamsing each other right now? We're not in on this?

No, I'm back a few. No, no. No, I didn't go through this? No, I'm back a few. No. No, I didn't go through anything last night. I'm fine. Something. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hold on. What is happening? Hang on. We have 20 minutes on recess. Let's really bring it down to what matters. What has happened here? Nothing. I'm just going through it. With what?

Like. Personally. Huh? It's not serious. Okay. Can we help in any way what's happening I've just got tummy stuff

oh what you asked you probed that's all you get hey hey I thought she was I'm not discounting that

I thought she was going to say something like at home is happening no she's okay she's good the way you two looked at each other like don't tell them

and also my armpit's swollen this morning. Yeah, you're swollen glan in the armpit. I get that sometimes. I don't know why that comes and goes. Listen, we care about you. When you're off, we can tell. We can tell you and Chaka are a bit off today. Oh.

What was I doing wrong? That's just his usual stuff. It's just my usual stuff. We're here for you. You can share tummy issues. What is it? Okay. When did you last have. What is it? Okay. When did you last have fucking Guzman?

Huh? It's not that. Ice cream. Too much cheese. No, it's not. What is it? Oh, is it Shark Week? Oh, is that what it is?

We need to sound the alarm. Sound the alarm. Oh, because I'm finished. No, no, everyone knows that. Oh, it is. Oh, you're in sync. I'm slightly out of sync because I'm the alarm. Oh, because I'm feeling. No, no, everyone knows that. The Babs and I. Oh, it is. Oh, you're in sync. We're slightly out of sync because I'm wrapping up.

Oh, it's contagious. You poor mind. Oh, you're wrapping up. I'm wrapping up. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. Okay. You poor thing.

Oh, that sucks. So do you get like bad period pain? Yes, I do. I thought this was an IBS pain. No. Do you have endo? Yeah. I didn't know that.

Is that too loud? Yeah, yeah. What? Marty will say it doesn't exist. Well, it definitely does exist. Oh, you. No. Do you have endo? Yeah. I didn't know that. Is that too loud? Yeah, yeah. What? Marty will say it doesn't exist. Well, it definitely does exist. Oh, you've never told us you had endo? We know. Yeah, I did, yeah.

See, I thought we were laughing at IBS. Now I feel bad for laughing. Yeah, yeah. You didn't laugh at all? We thought it was IBS. Because normally with you it's IBS and guts. Oh, it could be a mix. I don't know.

It's hard to tell. Well, do you know? Would you like a fun fact, fellas? Hit me with one. Ducko, you were educating us on some menstrual stuff yesterday. Yes, I was. Luteal phase. The hormone that helps your uterus shed, which is obviously what is your period every month,

it also can increase bowel movements because the same hormone gets everything going. So it could be a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B, but it's all that hormone. So if you get endo and IBS, that's just an unlucky double whammy. Yeah. Like I said, I'm going through it. That's probably why I seem aggressive today. And rightfully so, sis.

You do you. Yeah, you do you. But feel free to keep us in the loop. Yeah, let us know. Ducco will bring you a box of lint or whatever you need. Oh, sick. Will you really? Well, it's not going to lint. I'm expecting more.

Kinder. I'll get you some kinder. Oh, cool. Because he'll have a kinder egg for himself. Not from the cupboard at work, though. We have kinder in the cupboard at work? Usually, yeah. Did you not know that? Not we himself. Not from the cupboard at work, though. We have Kinder in the cupboard at work? Usually, yeah. Did you know that? Not Buino's.

I'll be punching some of those. How good's a Buino? See, I don't like Buino. I like the Kinder surprise. The one with the present inside. Yeah, the eggs. What's your superior child? Okay, all right.

You don't have to shit cam me just because you said you're on your period. All right? I get it. What's your superior Kinder, Babs? The Buino. Whatever it is. The Buino. I think it's Bueno, but Buino is fun Iperian. All right? I get it. What's your superior kinder, Babs? The Buick, whatever it is. The Buino. I think it's Bueno, but Buino is funnier.

Buino? I don't mind Buino, but just... You can get the kinder sticks where you just break them. Yeah, what are they? They are... They're so nice. With a little kid on the front. I think they're for, like, lunchbox. Yeah, they're so good.

Yeah, yeah. They've really diversified kinder. Remember those eggs we got that time we got all that kinder? No. Disgusting. They were delicious. I hated those eggs. They were nice, a little sandwich. Oh, that was so nice.

I was eating them so much. I was so many. Me too. That was so good. Just one more. I should have brought them for you. I turfed mine. Oh, I would love those.

Yuck. Oh, that was so good. If they make a bueno egg, I'm all for that. But those. It's funny too because you got the Kinder gift pack and then you got me in on that. And it's funny because they emailed saying, Jess, we'd love to. I went, my co-host loves Kinder. And they went, it's for children.

I went, you didn't tell me that. I've got, she was only nine months at the time. I'm not giving her chocolate. No, yeah. But that was funny. I did enjoy it. I deserve it. You deserve it.

We all got some Kinder. We all enjoyed it. I like a Daryl Lee freckled egg. So if you can hustle that for me. I don't like freckles on things. I'll fucking hook hundreds and thousands to my veins. It's like the only confectionary I really like. Daryl Lee's good too.

I like the peanut brittle. I like peanut brittle. Daryl Lee's hit or miss for me. Okay. It can be a bit too swanky. Yeah. Like it's a bit too, I don't like that one. Like they're trying too hard.

I like just Cadbury and Kinder. Yeah, yeah. I do like a dark chocolate with orange peel. Yeah, Aldi chocolate is so good too. Aldi, yeah. Have you had the block and it's got bits of pretzel in it? No, I've had the block with the coconut though. Yeah, I've had that.

That is good. I'm obsessed with it. But I go through waves with that where I love it and I feel a bit sick from it. Here comes it goes. And waves. Right, well the pretzel one. We've been around the block this chat. We have.

We really have. Well, we're going to go stock up on some choc for Babs. Yeah, I'll get you something. You enjoy the podcast. I'll bring you something in tomorrow. Cool. You get something, I'll get something, Shy Guy gets something, and we'll see who can please her the most.

Well, it does make fucking competition, okay? All right? I'm going to be flat chat remembering, so, you know. I'll bring it. It's okay. Welcome to Tuesday Team. Good morning. Good morning.

What a pleasure. What a privilege to be here. Always great to be here. With Shy Guy, Babs and Trev. Trev? Trev. Oh, Trev. Trevor.

Good morning. Sorry, we're not on a nickname basis. Trevor. Trevor. Trevor is always with us. We haven't built that rapport. I wonder if Trevor listens to that every day and goes, there I am. There I am again.

Or has Trev forgotten? And he's like, oh, that bloke sounds sexy. He probably has. He probably has forgotten. It was just a throwaway phone call one time. Complaining. Complaining, exactly. Mate, calling people mate.

It's like to really jump ahead three hours. Oh, goodness. If you still play, or I don't think you do for 2025, but you used to play a woman saying bye. Bye. It's because she was really mad. I still play that. Oh, you still play that?

Every day. Every day. Bye. Yeah. Her, it's so quick. It was die. Die was also a bit unhappy with us, and she now also gets a run every single day.

Yeah, she gets the end of the show. Trevor gets the morning. Die gets up. Bye. See you later. So that's the way to really have a run every single day. Yeah, she gets the end of the show. Trevor gets the morning. Di gets the bye. See you later. So that's the way to really have a permanent spot on the Jess and Ducko program. And we've also always got... Here I am, blanket. Whenever you need it.

Just in case. Just in case. Whenever Shaka's getting naughty. How are we all feeling today? Feeling fantastic. A little hungry. Oh, are we still hungover? I'm hungry.

A little hungry. A little hungry. Yeah. With hungover? I'm hungry. A little hungry. A little hungry. Yeah. With this up and down weather we're having. Well, cyclone. There's a cyclone. Cyclone weather. Mainly for Queensland, Northern New South Wales team.

My husband put a text in. He went, you know what sort of weather this is? I went, talk to me, baby. He went, whole chook day. I went, for a Monday. Are you crazy? Like a Woolies rotisserie chook. No.

Jay Farch making from scratch. So that's what we had last night, but we ate at 5.30. So now I'm starving. Yeah. It's always tough eating early. That lean protein. Yeah. I need to do a garlic bread or something.

I'm hungry. Did you have veggies with it? Oh, I had some broccolini and some beautiful smashed potatoes. Oh, potatoes should do it. Not enough. Potatoes should do the job. I went to Woolworths yesterday. Cream and the potato oil. Oh, only like do it. Not enough. Potatoes should do the job. I went to Woolworths yesterday. Grim and the potato aisle.

Oh, only like tiny spuds available. Well, my family all live in Brisbane. They were saying that there's no water left. There's no toilet paper because of this cyclone. Shouldn't complain about me small spuds. They're dealing with real problems. Everyone's just like, I don't even know if Brisbane will be hit that bad. With the toilet paper thing, it's giving COVID.

It is. Exactly the same. If people are freaking out again, we'll have nothing to wipe our bums. Yeah, exactly the same. Oh, no. Yeah, you don't know what people are like when things go wrong. I can't wait for 20 years down the track where all the researchers and the psychologists start putting out the theories and the PhDs and everything they've done, being like, let's

look at that time in history with the toilet paper thing. Look at these freaks. It was only in Australia, look at that time in history with the toilet paper thing. Look at these freaks. It was only in Australia too. It wasn't overseas, the toilet paper thing. It's a really interesting. It's a really bizarre. And also, get bidets. Thing to dissect.

If you've got a pump water bottle, you've got toilet paper. Amen. You know? You've got a hand, you've got a toilet. Or a good friend. Like, if you've got a shy guy and you've got a pump water bottle. You're fine. Yeah.

You're fine. You need that good friend with the good grip to really give you a pump water bottle. Long phalanges. Would you pump some pump water bottle for us, Shoga? Just pump? Yeah. Sure. If you need that, I'll just pump.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're not white. You're saying you're not white. No, no. That's what the pump is doing. I'll stop from like a good 30 centimeters.

What if something happened and I needed to be taken care of and Angus needed to, I don't know, duck out for a bit of him time? Angus had a wedding. Pretty catastrophic. Yeah, pretty catastrophic. Could I call on you? Yeah. Wow.

There you go. Hold that. Hold on to that. It'd have to be very dire, but Shaico would be there. And it'd be like the fifth call on the list. Oh. Oh. All right, Ducko. Third. I'll go third. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Shaico would be there. He'd be there. And it'd be like the fifth call on the list. Oh. Oh. All right.

Ducko. Third. I'll go third. Babs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Ducko. Problem is you'll be the one with the long enough fingers for the pump. Me and Babs, we don't.

Yeah, we're not suited to that. Yeah. To squeeze the bottle. Yeah, squeeze that bottle. He's got little limbs. He's got to get right up in there. Yeah. You could actually be.

Why don't you angle yourself and then I like jumped on it. Oh, there you go. We'll really have to aim. Sorry. Jumped on. Like jumped on the bottle so it splashes out. So you'll have to get in position. I thought we were still talking about wiping.

So I'm like, what are you jumping on? Squirt in the bottle. So you have to jump on the bottle to then really squirt it to get the right angle. I don't know if you have the athletic prowess to pull that move off. Maybe I'll just hit you with the hose. Gurney it. You got a good gurney.

I don't hurt. You'll crack me open. Just split her right through. I'll be clean. Don't worry. I volunteer for gurney. I'll get my wife down before she comes home every night after work. Cardiac theatre nurse, my goodness.

She's covered in blood and guts. I get it. I get it. Actually, we were at an obstetrician appointment yesterday for the baby. And the obstetrician goes, I saw the thing you guys did where you brought coffee to the hospital. And you got into the... He was like so shocked at where we got into in the cardiac ward. We obviously got permission.

The authorized personnel section. Yeah, yeah. He was very shocked. Really? But it was just that kind of thing. But he knows what your wife does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were accompanied.

We got approval. Was he shocked by the fact we got a wheelbarrow in there? He said we were lucky, yeah, because usually there's patients rolling around there, like open heart surgery vibe. And we could have been a real disruptor, but we weren't. We just rolled in and chugged coffee at people. Well, we were told what time to go. We did what we were told to do.

All right, no one with their open guts will be rolling through at this window of time. Yeah. You can go. You can go. He loved it. Then Morgan was like, it was so embarrassing. He's like, I bet it was. I bet it was.

I bet it was. Oh, okay. We should have brought him a bag. Yeah. He just felt left out. Next time. He's been catching my baby. I better as well chuck him a coffee.

While you're there, once, you know, she's out all good. Hey, doc. Hey. Hey. Here you go. Bang. Lord's coffee for you. Lord's coffee for you.

Do the Lord's work. Hey, team. Big show, though. Hey, here you go. Bang. Lord's coffee for you. Lord's coffee for you. Do the Lord's work. Hey, team, big show, though. Massive show. Absolutely. I'm not talking about pump water bottles and cracking open. Mate, what a way to start a Tuesday. What else would you want to do? And you tell me Tuesday's not your favorite day.

This is the only day where this gets talked about. And then you're going to follow up with a bit of massage chat later. Yeah, yeah. It's all in the round. I learned all about the perineum massage yesterday. I'm going to unpack that and how that came about. I have opinions. Yeah, yeah. It's all in the realm. I learned all about the perineum massage yesterday. I'm going to unpack that and how that came about. I have opinions. Yeah.

I cannot wait to hear yours. Yeah. We've got Alpha Bucks, your chance at $10,000, $630,000 and $8,000. Their Call of Fame prize is great. $500 to spend at tradie undies. We are really staying downstairs today, aren't we? Yeah, we are. It's all linked.

Undies, perineum. Up next, though, what made producer Shy Guy send an email yesterday saying, Eep. Like a little minion. Eep. Is he going to do this story for us? I think so. I think that's a great idea.

What do you reckon, Shy Guy? Sure. And then we'll loop the rice cookers in when he went, Eep. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Right now, Shy Guy's going to run us through something. Yeah, I've got the most passive-aggressive phrases that you're probably using all the time,

but don't realise they are very passive-aggressive and you should stop. Yeah. You're acting like you're speaking to a rice cooker out there, when really needs to be a bit of self-reflection. We've got you to read this, because we feel like you say a few of these. I say all of these.

Eep! I said eep for just one of them. Okay. Number three. We'll get to that. Okay, all right. What does passive aggressive mean? It means to express negative emotions such as anger or hostility, as explained by the

Los Angeles Clinic. Who cares who explained it? Oh, mate. And this is why. This is why I don't do shoots, guys. This is why Drake's got cancelled. This is why I don't do shoots, guys. This is why Drake's got cancelled. This is why I don't do shoots. I'll show you how Drake's got cancelled.

If you're halfway through, just commit, Joel. Just commit, mate. Just say it with confidence. Who cares what Ryan Howe's from the Los Angeles Clinical Psychology. I do. Ryan's a great, he's a great doc. Well, then you should have ascertained you didn't care about Ryan before you got halfway through his sentence.

I should have pre-read the sentence is what I should have done. Anyway, it means to be. Who do you think you are, duck only? He can do it on the fly. Yeah, he's very good at it. He is. Anyway, first one, good for you. When you say good for your.

I'm going to need it in a sentence. Please, Shaga. I'll give you. While this statement can be used to express and see happiness for another person's success, it's often used passively, aggressively. So Babs comes in and goes, guys, I finally, I'm up to my 10th stamp at Guzmani Gomez. I get a free burrito. Yeah.

Good for you. Oh. Love ya. So it's like, good for you. Is it the way you say it though? Oh, good for you. That's awesome. That feels nice.

But if it's like, good for you, Jess. If it's the way Shy Guy says it. Yeah, so true. It's passive aggressive. Yeah, yeah. It could be taken as unfairness of the situation. Oh, like he's jealous of her free burrito. Oh, so true. It's passive aggressive. It could be taken as unfairness of the situation. Oh, like he's jealous of her free burrito. Oh, I see.

And that's coming out verbally. Oh, like good for you. Good for you. Oh, okay. I'm over here hungry. Yeah, okay. So good for you is on there. Yeah, the second one, I'm sorry you feel that way.

That's a great one. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry you feel that way is a good one. I hit someone with the I'm sorry you feel that way just this week. But you've got to sometimes because if they're offended by something, you're like, well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not I hit someone with the I'm sorry you feel that way just this week. You've got to sometimes because if they're offended by something, you're like, well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not how it is. That's not how I feel. Exactly.

And I'm not apologising for the situation because you have misconstrued or blown something up. Exactly. Now we're getting straight up aggressive. No, I'm backing that one in. I like I'm sorry you feel that way. I mean, I can see it would be annoying if you definitely were in the wrong and you've done something wrong.

I'm sorry you feel that way, Jenny. Sometimes it is appropriate. I didn't mean to hit reply all. Yeah, you pretty much nailed what the psychologist said about that one. Thank you. Third one is... What's the psychologist's name? Sorry.

Ryan Howes. Nice. From the Los Angeles Clinical Psychologist Center. Oh, from the LA Clinical Psychologist Center. I care about that so much. The LACP. Yeah, nice. See.

The next one is the one that I say all the time. It's fine. Eep! That's where he said it. Another common passive-aggressive move, claiming everything's fine when you're actually upset about something. Oh, that is just you, Tua T. How long would you say we've addressed that with Shaga?

From day dot, really. We've been eeping him since the moment we met him. Everything's fine. Shiger literally put that and went, eep. I said that in my email. He wrote eep, which made me feel sick. At least it's not passive aggressive, eep. That was not a passive aggressive, eep.

But it's fine. It's very passive. And you say it daily. I do say it because I might be upset about something, but I don't want you guys to be upset. That's why I say it. But isn't it funny? Cause this is meant to be a list about passive aggressive. It's fine to me is just defeatist.

It's not passive aggressive. It's just like, it's just, I've given up. It's fine. It's all good. And this is some feedback for you, Shaga.

It's like, I don't care enough to put more energy into this. So it's fine. Let's let it go through to the keeper. Whereas are you saying it like, it's fine, guys. I say, like, just leave it with me. Oh. So are you saying it is passive aggressive?

It could be in there. Are you using it passive aggressively? I don't think I am. I think Ryan Howes says you are. Yeah. Another one is whatever. Whatever. Yeah, it's the same as it's fine.

Yeah, it's pretty similar. Defeatist. Similar territory. It comes up when you want to explain your viewpoint. Whatever. Yeah, whatever. Bad punches or whatever. Oh, she loves whatever.

That's a very youth thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Yeah, yeah. Talk to the hand. That's accepted. That one's all right. If you say so, this statement is dismissive and implies that the person's opinion or perspective cannot be trusted.

See, I quite like, I reckon that's quite powerful. If you say so. Like you're trying to convince me of something. If you say so. If you say so. If you say so. Yeah, that's such a slap, isn't it? It's very demeaning.

Yeah, yeah. If you say so. I'm sorry you feel that way. If you say so, that's how it was. And you'll? It's very demeaning. Yeah, yeah. If you say so. I'm sorry you feel that way. If you say so, that's how it was. And you'll love this. Tack on a bit of a champion at the end. Oh, don't do that. Drunk buddy.

And the last one is you're just too sensitive. Telling someone they're too sensitive discounts another person's hurt feelings and subtly shifts the blame onto them for having an emotional reaction to something you did. Yeah, that feels like that. I'm sorry you feel that way. It does feel similar territory, doesn't it? That's almost getting straight up aggressive that way. Yeah, yeah.

You're too sensitive. You're sensitive about that. It's fine. Yeah. Yep. It's fine. Jess and Ducko. Now, guys, fashion, it's subjective.

We know that. They are the beholder. However, would you say the youth fashion these days is, it's gone straight back from 90s. I was going to say they're doing their own thing, but they are unknowingly doing something from 30 years ago. It's all cyclical. Denim jeans, denim three-quarter pants.

Yes, the low rise came back, Ducko. The low rise. As I was coming up, it was all about high rise. And now I'm seeing a lot of low rise. And you go, no, no, no. We got rid of low rise because you can't bend over in low rise, let alone they're very uncomfortable and you don't feel tucked in. And what is a low rise?

They really sit on the hip. Okay. Low rise like jeans or a pant. So the jeans that Morgan and I would like, you know, obviously baby bump would be up over belly button. Yeah, yeah. And you just feel nice and secure. All tucked in there. Nothing's coming out. Nothing's coming out. Gives you a over belly button. Yeah, yeah. And you just feel nice and secure. No, all tucked in there.

Nothing's coming out. Nothing's coming out. Gives you a little extra support. Yeah. Low rise is a la Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie from The Simple Life. Yes. You know, they're showing off that V. Well, super low rise jeans are back.

So that was just Fashion Week. Milan Fashion Week was on, obviously, in Italy. Diesel, didn't know Diesel was still kicking about, debuted its Fall and Winter 2025 collection. Hello. Which featured a super low-cut denim accessory, and they claim that the coming-up look will be revealing your plumber's crack. No, no, they were already low enough, Ducko, sitting on the hip.

What do you mean? They're now dipping even lower. So plumbers, they're just going, plumbers have always been in fashion. They were just waiting for it to come back to them. Absolutely. It's our time to shine, boys. Here we go. So models are dressed in a peekaboo jean.

I don't really know what that is. Peekaboo as in peekaboo. I'm sure the bat. Hello to the butt. Yeah, I presume so. Okay. Is that what that peekaboo jean is? I'm looking at the youngest in the team like she knows.

Babs doesn't know. What's a peekaboo jean? Is that just the cut, the style they're describing? It said paired with a backless top. But anyway. Okay. These impossibly low cuts are making fashion comebacks. Peekaboo jean. Is that just the cut, the style they're describing? It said paired with a backless top. But anyway. Okay. It is impossibly low cuts are making fashion comebacks. And apparently the low rider jean where you can see a little bit of bum crack for guys

and for girls is making a full comeback. Oh, Diesel, what do you think you're doing? So peekaboo jean, it's almost like there's a bit of a cutout situation or it is dipping very low. Yes. Oh, this is the kind of jean that will have your grandma going, I hope you paid less for those because there's not a lot of fabric. Where's the extra fabric?

Where's the extra fabric? Did you get a discount? Do you, Babs, see any of your friends, you know, like letting the crack out? No, but some of my friends wear low-rise jeans. How? What's the difference? Is low-rise you're not quite showing crack? Yeah, it's like just sitting on your hips.

Okay. So you can see like pretty much all belly. And you see the G-string, you see the whale tail poking out? Not necessarily, no. Okay. But if you bend down to pick up a $2 coin. Yeah, which I love to do. Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, that is all coming out. Here I go again. And even we had the Oscars, obviously, yesterday. Yeah. One of the heights of fashion on the red carpet. Zoe Kravitz had what I'm going to describe as a peekaboo dress. It swooped down low and she just had this mesh little window. I could see her whole bum crack.

How is that a thing? The bum crack is on a sexy part of the body. It is, it is. And they kind of all look the same. You've got cleavage. I am a sucker for some cleavage. Even a clavicle. I don't mind a shoulder blade.

The bum crack straight up ain't sexy. No, particularly when it's got hair around it. It's like trying to make your weenus sexy. You know the other side of your elbow? Yeah, yeah. Weenus can be sexy. Really close up in a photo. We literally were at a restaurant the other day and a guy bent over outside.

He was sitting on a chair and for the entire breakfast you could just see his butt crack. And I couldn't help but just being like, I want to put coins in it. Can't, yes. I just want to put coins in it. I always want to come along and swap my credit card. I do. Savings, please. Honestly, when that guy's crack, I would have lost it.

He would have swallowed it up. This is my question to people who just get out and about with their bum crack. Don't act like you can't feel it. Yeah, you can feel it. Don't act like you can't feel your pants. I'm going to get some crack out now. Don't tell me you can't feel it. Yeah, you can feel it. Don't act like you can't feel your pant. I'm going to get some crack out now. Don't tell me you can't feel that out. You can feel your pant halfway down your bum, but can't you feel a breeze?

Can't you feel like, hmm, that's a part of the body. I don't often feel breeze. My pants must be too low. It is one thing if you are bending over for something and it accidentally pops out. But to have it 24-7. 24-7. Anyway, apparently Katy Perry recently won this. Does the bum crack turn you on, Docco?

No. Seeing it on a lady, you know, does that make you go, yeah, that's hot? No. Not in these low-cut jeans. No, no. I don't think so. No. It doesn't really get me going.

And straight back at you when I see a hairy man bum. I don't need to see it. Okay. So there you go. If you do see people with bum cracks out, it's the new fashion. It's coming back. I'll get a pipeline to Milan. All right, guys, what are you doing?

Why are we doing this? What are we doing? We can't be doing this. We're better than this. A bit of extra fabric on our jeans, please. Yeah. We'll see. You watch Babs.

We'll come in next week. Yeah, 100%. Whale tail out. Okay. Low jeans. I'll pick up that pen. Babs, you stay upright. You stay upright.

I'll pick up that pen. Babs, you stay upright. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. I'll pick up that pen. Jess and Ducko in the morning. I'll pick up that pen, Babs. You stay upright. You stay upright. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass.

We'll come back, of course, if there is time. Stepping up today to play for $10,000, we have Harrison. Hello, Harrison. Hey, guys. How are we? Oh, we couldn't be better, Harrison. We have the opportunity to pretty much change your day, your week, definitely your month.

Oh, yeah, even your year. Even your year. I'll be there for you. $10,000. What do you want to do with the cash? I've got a Bucks party coming up in a couple months and I think I'd be putting some of that into the boys. Hell yeah, Harry.

Put it all into the Bucks, baby. Your Bucks party or are you organising it for a mate? It's already mostly planned. I think we'd just be doing some of the activities a bit bigger and better. Oh, this will make it bigger and better, of course. And all the boys find a Harry's one 10K on Jess and Ducko's Alphabucks. Hey, drinks are on him.

I was going to say sumo suits. They're not cheap. Oh, they're not cheap. Even a carton of seltzers these days knocking you back 80 or 90 bucks. Whenever it gets over beer, inevitably, it will happen. And this always makes me happy when the person has something already planned. It's not like we're crushing their hopes and dreams. This is great.

We are now escalating. Oh, yeah. Okay, Harry. See if you tease with 10K, Shaga. Beep. Harrison, the letter you're going to work with is F. F for Fosters. Okay.

Might be it's your beer of choice. Are you ready to rock? Yeah, ready to do it. Let's do it, Harrison. Come on. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter F, we need you to name something you'd get from a cafe. French toast.

A brand. Pass. An adjective. Pass. An animated TV show. Oh, gosh. Pass. An animated TV show. Oh, gosh. Pass. An animal.

Pass. An instrument. Fleet. A fabric. Felt. An occupation. No. Ah, we fell apart. No.

Ah, we fell apart. Came out of the gate strong with French toast. Yeah, and then three passes in a row. We got ourselves four. Four of the best. Four of the best. A brand could have been Ford, I suppose, yeah? Or Ford of the 21.

You know, I accidentally gave it to you. You could have said Foster's. Yeah, you could have. And I usually don't like doing that. So anyway, Harrison wasn't listening. An adjective could have been fearless or funny. An animated TV series family guy. An occupation could have been a farmer or a fashion designer.

Flight attendant, there's a few. Look, you didn't get the 10K. You don't go away empty-handed, though, Harrison. $100 to spend at Hello Skin. That is all yours. Awesome. Thank you, guys. Not quite the 10K for the Bucks party, but your skin will be glowing.

Boys are doing facials. Hey, facials at a Bucks party, underrated. You know what it's nice to do? Get the core group together the night before. Yeah, get the groups in. You know what I mean? And you can all have glowing skin and then the debauchery the next day. And Harrison didn't bring us $10,000, but he brought us face masks. He brought us face masks.

Exactly. Even better. Even better. There you go. Love it. Thank you, Harrison. Thanks for joining the show. Thanks brought us face masks. Exactly. Even better. Even better. There you go. Love it. Thank you, Harrison. Thanks for joining the show. Thanks for playing, mate.

Over, guys. See ya. Jess and Ducko. Really quickly, I wanted to touch on the Oscars yesterday, Ducko, obviously. Yes. Hollywood's Night of Nights. Yep. A lot of upsets.

Wow. A lot of the favourites who were tipped to win did not take home the big gongs. Timothy didn't win. Timothee did not win. Demi Moore didn't win. Dem to win did not take home the big gongs. Timothy didn't win. Timothee did not win. Demi Moore didn't win. Demi Moore did not win. Conclave did not win. And pardon my ignorance of what is hot in Hollywood, but Anora.

Yeah, it seems to be hot. A film I had not heard one ounce about. Neither. And you've got the pipeline to Paul Giamatti on The Rock. I know. You haven't even heard about Anora. And I was Googling what it was about. God, it looks fantastic. I watched the trailer after it won Best Actress, Best Director and Best

Film. Yeah. I think it might have won a couple of others. Anora basically swept the Oscars. It did, yeah. Something happened with Best Actor, Ducko. There was obviously some huge names. As you said, Timothée Chalamet for the Bob Dylan movie, Coleman Domingo, Ralph Fiennes, Sebastian Stan and Adrian Brody. This is how it went down. And the Oscar goes

to Adrian Brody. A 51-year-old. Yes, securing his second Oscar. He won for the pianist a few years ago. But what I wanted to drill down on, not that he now has a record, Ducko, for the longest speech in Oscars history.

Goes on, doesn't he? Clocking in at five minutes, 40 seconds. At the end of the night, everyone's like, shut up. I know. They even played the Oscars music. The wrap-up music. And he literally said to the room, please turn off that music. I'm nearly finished.

He did that last time, too. Did he? He comes on and he went, no, no, I'm not done. Except last time it was more cute because it was like, oh, my God, I might never get this again. I'm so sorry. Whereas this time it was like, no, no, no. Yes.

He seems like someone who takes his craft very, very seriously. Yes. But not serious enough, in my opinion, Ducko. So as Cillian Murphy, who obviously won the Oscar last year for Oppenheimer, announces Adrian Brodie, he gets up, you know, he's in the first two rows or whatever. He gets up to walks to the stage, takes the three steps up and then goes, oh, crap, I've still got gum in me mouth. Oh, no. Picks it out with his fingers. His partner, Georgina, they've been together for a few years.

She obviously knew I'm up here. Runs to the stage. He throws it at her. She catches it and shuffles back to sit down quietly. She caught the gum? She caught the gum that he threw at her. It's one of those things, having gum in your mouth, because I always, when I chew a bit of gum as well, because it's always in my car, then you get out and you're like, how

am I going to dispose of this? If you go into an appointment or a meeting, I've had to just shove it in between my gums and just leave it there for ages. I've had friends who are a big fan of just swallowing it. Do not swallow your gum. I don't know if it's an old wives tale that it stays in your guts for seven years. I think it is, but I still don't want to swallow that.

I don't know if your body is handling that just sitting in your stomach. So he decided in that moment, which says to me, maybe he didn't think he was going to win. Would you be chewing gum? Maybe it's a nervous thing. Maybe it is a nervous thing, but he piffs it at her. But it reminded me of my first kiss. I've never really felt that connected to Adrian Brody. I went, oh, I get it. Even from the highest of highs in Hollywood to just lowly old Jess Fartioni at about I think I was 14 having my first kiss. And it was very, very

handsome boy. I had a big crush on him. He'd taken me to the movies. Daniel. He's now an AFL All-Star. He's gone on to great heights. I don't think I was his first, but he was my first. And we're standing there after the movies. You know, dad's on his way to pick us up. We both lived in the same suburb. So our parents had talked and his parents had said to my parents, well, can you just pick them up?

We'll drive them. You pick them up. Awkward. Then do you sit in the back with him or do you sit in the front and he sits in the back? Yeah, no. My dad was like, Daniel, you can sit in the front. Awkward. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But we're standing there. It starts to rain. Dad, we know we're on the clock because I'm like, awkward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're standing there. It starts to rain. Dad, we know we're on the clock because Dad's on his way. And he goes, well, should we? I'm like, okay, I'm ready. I thought it's so romantic, the rain. He leans in. Outside the movies, 14.

Outside the movies. You know, the shopping centre movies. Mouthful of Maltesers. Well, he leans in and I'm getting ready, closing my eyes, preparing to pucker. And he goes, oh, hang on. Pulls his gum out and just piffs it into the bushes. I'm like, oh my God.

Way to stop down the real romance. Chucking your giddies. You've got to get rid of it. Otherwise he'd be passing it with his tongue to your tongue. I don't know what's worse. If he was just holding it quietly. If he'd kept it in his mouth. Yeah, what do you do there? He was minty fresh at least.

I think the only thing you can do there is swallow. Like, that's the only thing you can do. Otherwise, it's going to go. He can't hide it because your tongue's going to feel it. And we haven't been together as long as Adrian and Georgina. It's like he could have passed it to me. Hey, hold this for me, sweetheart. Hold on two seconds.

There's nothing sexy about getting gum out of your mouth either. It's a disgusting thing. Your little pincers and then just piffing it into some bushes. Also littering. Don't be doing that, Daniel. But also, was it kind of bad? Here we go. Here we go.

And was the kiss any good? No, I remember. You know, your first kiss is always tattooed on your brain. Lizardy. You don't know what you're doing in your first kiss. You have no idea what you're doing. At 14, he's poking his tongue in and out. I'm feeling someone else's tongue going, oh, what a...

Is that what this is? Jess and Ducko. 13 turns60. And telling us if anyone else has experienced what you revealed on the show yesterday, Ducko. It wasn't even meant to

be a reveal. It was just an inadvertent admission. You revealed something about me and I threatened you with a paddling. I said, come over. I'm going to put you over my lap, give you a spanking. Give you a wooden spoon. And the conversation then turned to how we were disciplined as children in the 90s, which we know different time. Very different. Different time for parenting. But you then went on to reveal this.

I once got hit with a wooden spoon by my friend's mum. I remember that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a thing. Yeah, well, at the time. Oh, not a thing now. Yeah, yeah, now, yeah. Did you tell your mum?

I must have just been an open wooden spoon spanking. Who wants to have a hit? You wore a shirt. My mum's probably like, yeah, give him one. Whack him. He'll be right. Because your siblings, your sister was breastfed by another person. She was.

You're getting disciplined by another person. Yeah, I know. It was just, yeah. Your parents are doing a lot of outsourcing. I need to remember it was a different time. Yeah, it was a different time. Because hearing you say that, can you imagine now? You're expecting a child, all right?

Cast your mind forward six, ten years. Yeah. Your kid comes home and goes, oh, my God, Jacqueline's mum smacked me. Yeah, she smacked me with a wooden spoon across the butt. What? Huh? Yeah, no, crazy. But it was even weird back then.

I didn't find it weird. I don't think my mum did. I'm still friends with that guy. We know the family. Yeah, it's not like your mum stormed over there and had it out with the mum going, wow, gee. How could you do this to my son? Like I said, I probably deserved it.

I can't remember what I did, but it was probably deserving. It's funny. We always remember the punishment. We never remember the crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it probably was deserving. Yeah. But I just thought, has that happened to anyone else?

Maybe you were the kid. You were the ducko in the equation. Maybe you were the parent. That'd be interesting if you were the parent. And you went, this kid's not getting it good enough at home. I'm going to give him one. I've got to make sure this behaviour, they understand it's unacceptable. How were you disciplined? Because I can't even fathom, you know I'm gutless. You know I've bloody founded the chicken club because I'm so anti-confrontation. I can't

even imagine saying to another child, don't do that. Stop it. It makes me so squeamish just to even think about it. But what was the straw that broke the camel's back that you thought? Yeah, just driven to breaking point. Driven to breaking point. Or maybe you were the camel and you broke that straw and you were disciplined by someone else's parents. Yeah, 131060, did that happen? Did that happen?

Have you ever been done by someone else's parent? Yes. Or is Ducko the only person in the country? Could be. Could be. To be smacked by a friend's parent. And if it did happen, what was the crime? Like, what were you up to?

Yes. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. Bit of an interesting one. We're asking, did you ever get punished and hit by someone else's parent when you were a kid? Yeah. You inadvertently just made that admission yesterday. and I thought, oh my God, has that

happened to anyone else? You clearly pushed your mate's parents. Yep, to breaking point. To breaking point. Yeah, yeah. And you got the wooden spoon. Yeah, but from a mate's- From a mate's mum.

You remember her name, remember your mate's name? Yeah, yeah. Because you stayed friendly. Yeah. That would be. It didn't even traumatize me. It wasn't even a weird moment, I don't think. You got buns of steel, man.

That wooden spoon, she didn't have the right technique. Took the spoon as an endearing thing, you know. Ah, got another one. Another notch on the belt. Yeah. Different time, obviously. Another notch on the spoon. Parenting in the 90s.

Yeah, yeah. Very different. Very different to now. But I wanted to know, was Ducko the only victim of disciplining from someone else's parents, or have you two been in a situation like this? It's interesting just having a quick look at the board, Ducko, all blokes calling. Yeah, we never learn. The ladies learn their lessons, it would appear.

Harry called through. Good morning, Harry. Good morning, how are you? Yeah, pretty good, legend. Were you ever disciplined by a mate's parents? No, it wasn't a mate's parents. It was more so my school teacher in U2. Oh, okay.

What year would this have been? Would have been 2005. Okay. Okay. So out of the 90s now, what happened? Yeah. I wrote my name on carpet in the middle class, and then she's come over and seen it,

and she's just bent me straight over her hands, kind of hit me. Hang on a minute. She literally gave you a smack on the bum. Yeah. That can't be a thing. I don't know. When did corporal punishment leave schools?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That can't be a thing. Sometimes when you go home and tell mum and dad that a teacher slapped you that day? Yeah, so that was a big thing I went through with the schools and that. Oh, it was actually a big thing? Yeah. Mum took it a lot further.

Yeah. There you go. As I think was right. That's why I've never heard of it. Another teacher. Justin on 131060. Justin, was yours by someone else's parent? Yeah, someone else's grandparent, yeah.

Oh, grandparent. What happened, Justin? Oh, mate, I'm going back a long time here, probably not that far out of the 90s, but my best friend that we sort of grew up together to, her grandma moved over from England, and she was a tough old cookie and I just thought it was pretty funny,

her accent and all that. But anyway, one day we got into her record collection that she'd bought over from England and look, I thought I'd be just like you guys and become a DJ, so I scratched all the crap out of her record. Oh, yep. We've got a Simon and Garfunkel.

Yeah, just scratch them. Yeah, yep. Well, I didn't know record players had a little switch to make them sound like chipmunks, so I was having a great time. Yep, yep. And she come down and absolutely lost it at me and my friend. Look, I didn't cop it as bad. I got shoved and got a bit of a slapping,

but my friend Susan decided to run away and retreat to her bedroom because she obviously knew her nan was a pretty tough old woman. I watched her nan come running down the hallway swinging a four-way adapter around her head like a helicopter. A four-way adapter? her head like a helicopter. A four-way adapter.

Oh, my God. She's barged in Susanna's bedroom door like a radio clown and just started swinging this thing around. I've never seen anything like it. Oh, my God. When you muck with Simon and Garfunkel, you don't be messing with me. He's really in the wrong here.

Jess and Daco. Year of the Song. Shy Guy's going to give us some songs. We're going to tell him the year that they were released and you can play along at home or in the car, at work, wherever you find yourself. 0-4-8-8-8-1-0-6-9. Yeah.

For no reason at all, he's chosen the theme of... Magic Song. Literally no reason. It just came to me yesterday when I was prepping. He just likes magic. Long one. He's got a little scoreboard. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with the little scoreboard?

It's tiny. He's got this huge whiteboard and he's got a scoreboard the size of like... That just tickled me. I only need that little space. You don't play. You don't need the rest of the board to write. You need to keep track.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Song one. This is Justin Timberlake. Love, Sex, Magic. Oh, I don't know. Is this from Mirror's era? Mirror's time? Lauren's time?

Suit and tie time? Yeah, suit and tie. Stepping on the disco ball in the album cover. Yes. Oh, is that the same album? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I saw JT in concert once. He was Yes. Yeah. Oh, is that the same album? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I saw JT in concert once.

He was fantastic. Yeah, he's a good performer. Loves a drink and a drive, though. I'm joking. Obviously, I'm having a joke. You're not, though, because he... It's a good time. Live in the next day.

You're right. Didn't he even hit the cop with Don't You Know Who I Am? Yeah, yeah. I've got a world to it. Wouldn't you, though? If you were Justin Timberlake, I would. You've got to give it a You Know Who I Am? Yeah, I've got a will to it. Wouldn't you, though? If you were Justin Timberlake, I would. Yeah, yeah, come on. And we haven't heard from him since,

so he's really doing his community service quietly. I think he's doing all right. I've got no idea. This is a really tricky one for me, but I'm going to go. Ooh. 2011 for Ducko, 2010 for Jess, the correct answer, 2009. Oh. Just over. Just over.

Just over. Okay. Song two. Superstition. Stevie Wonder. Oh, goodness. Yeah! Superstition.

Holy moly. Superstition! This is a track. I don't think superstition is technically magic. But superstitious. Magic's a broad term now, guys. Hey, wait, we've got some more songs going on. Oh, I bet it's going to be a ten-year swing.

You have accused me of having the most bow in the camera. On a week where you have an easy Oscar one, he can make it easy for himself. He goes, magic songs. We did Grammys last. So, of course, we're going to poke holes. Stevie. We've got to be talking 70s, right?

Oh, this is old. If not 80s. It's definitely 80s or 70s. I don't think it's noughties. Oh, don't think so. It's not noughties. Or is it 2000s? No.

I don't know, man. I have no idea. This is just a hope and a prayer for me. What did you go? Oh, man, I was going to go. I've gone 79. Okay, I'll go 77. 77.

I'm going to go 79. Jess, the correct answer's 72. Oh, my goodness! Stevie. Jeez, no one was even near it. In the right era. God, he's stood the test of time. Song three, Little Mix.

Little Mix. Black Magic. Oh, see how it works. Now, I've seen Little Mix in concert. Have you? They thought it would be one of the most pop concerts I ever saw, Darko. Oh, really? They genuinely had their drink bottles just on stage.

And they were just drinking them? They were just like, while Jade might be talking, Perry would go just have a drink from a Mount Franklin. They would have been young then, wouldn't they? They were young. Yeah. You know, where was it? It was one of the arenas in Melbourne,

but certainly not the Jade or anything. Are they still big? Are they still kicking it, Little Mix? They've gone, I think they've gone solo. It always happens. All bands break up. They've gone solo. All teams become individuals at some stage, don't they, Shoga?

They do. Look at Fifth Harmony. Look at One Direction. I don't know when this song came out. I reckon I was just starting in radio. When did Little Mix become a thing? Well, they won X Factor. Yeah, British X Factor.

Doesn't help me. At all. This is the female version of One Direction. Simon Cowell put them to you. Oh, now that you said it that way. Oh, I got it now. I am hitting the nail on the head on this one. All right.

Ducko's in it. 2014. Jess in it. 2015 with the correct answer. 2015. A little mixed up. I know my mix. On my now overly sized scoreboard.

Oh, yeah, burrito. 24K magic. 24K, Matt, back at us. This one a few times. You would have. And it came out, everyone's like, do we say it 24K or 24K? It was a whole thing, man. That's right.

What did you go with? 24K, just to be cool. Also, because I'm dyslexic, and I just saw the K and went, let's just call it that. If he wanted me to call it Karen, he should have written Karen. Exactly. Exactly. Ah, jeez. Bruno, 24K Magic.

You know what his real name is? Peter Rodriguez. Is it? I think so. That's a good double check that. That's a good name to have. Why change it to Bruno? Peter Rodriguez.

Yeah. I don't know when this came out. Oh, that's got to be an extra half point, surely. No. When did this come out? That's got to be an extra half point, surely. No. When did this come out? That's the wrong game. This. I remember back announcing it.

I'm going to go with. I have no idea. I'm in. 2019 for Jess. 2017 was it for you? 17, yeah. It was 2016. Oh, just over. Damn, it was earlier than you? 17, yeah. It was 2016. Oh, just over.

Damn, it was earlier than you think. Okay, here we go. Road Traders, Voodoo Child. Yeah, see, this I'll allow. Oh, yeah. This is just, no. Voodoo magic. I'd say it's just as loose.

Is this noughties or is this early 00s? Babs likes this song. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. She's nodding again. Yep. Yep, I'm nodding. I do like this song. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. She's nodding again. Yep. Yep.

I'm nodding. I do like this song. Big fan of Nat Bass. Thank you, Babs. Crossing life to Babs. Babs, you like this song? Yep. Copy, I do.

Jeez, when did this come out? Is there a first? Rogue Traders? I don't know if I said that today. I don't know anything about the Rogue Traders. I think it was their first. I didn't know Rogue Traders was a band. You remember Nat Bass?

Oh, but you were a Home and Away kid. You weren't even a Neighbours kid. This was not their first album. When she had the baby with Dr. Carl on Neighbours. Unbelievable. So is this before or after her Neighbours stint? Nah, after Neighbours stint. Oh, that gives me a good clue.

Does it? Yep. I'm all over this. I'm going to nail it. Watch it go to a tiebreaker. Oh, jeez, I've gone early. I feel like I'm on... No, let me read.

I feel like I've gone too early. Jess has gone 2013. Okay, hold on. Ducco's going to go. Careful. I don't... I'm not 100%. You could be... Okay, Ducco's gone away. Jess, 2013 I don't. I'm not 100%. You could be.

Okay, Ducco's gone away. Jess, 2013. The correct answer is 05. Oh, goddammit. I wouldn't have got it anyway if it was closer. Jess wins again. Isn't that old? It's that old.

Wow. Jeez. Stop. Magic thing. Babs, where was the help out there? It's your favourite band. I was saying the right thing. 2013s, where was the help out there? It's your favourite band. I was saying the right thing. 2013, are you serious? Everyone, that's the year of the song.

Jess and Ducko. Had a mate come over yesterday, Ducko. Haven't caught up in a little while. Played Bananagram. No. That's all you do with your friends, isn't it? I wish. She wanted to come over.

You'll like this, though. Yeah. I just had an order of cheese delivered. Of course. Sorry. That's the, that's the next plausible option with you. Yeah. Cheese or pasta deliveries. She came in. I said, are you hungry? She went, not really. It was 1.30, you know, it's a bit after lunch. She was, she was fine. I went, I've just got some new cheeses in. Would you like to have some? She's like, no, please. No cheese. I'll just get them out. I'll just get them all out. And I always notice because we haven't caught up in a while. So I created a little cheese board.

I only put four out. I was pretty calm. Oh, that's good. Yeah, just four for the two of you at one o'clock. I had eight new ones. I thought I'll pick four. I'll put them out. So generous.

But I was asking her what's been going on. You know, my question that I like now, what's keeping you up at night? So she was sharing a lot. Did you ask her that? Straight up? Yeah, that's my new thing. That's a deep question to start the combo with. Can you at least give me a, you know, like a how are you?

No, we're close enough that I want to get to the guts. Okay. And she had to go pick up her kid. So it's not like we had a lot of time, you know, to savor the cheese, but she was chatting away. So all I was doing was eating the cheese. I went, I've really finished off that lab now. She's not got any of that.

Should I go and talk to her? Anyway. Sorry, yeah. One of the things Should I go and talk to her? Anyway. Sorry, yeah. One of the things she shared about what's keeping her up at night, I just wanted to get you across. This is some of the crap we're dealing with. Okay. Womankind, possibly mankind as well,

but I know you're not huge in the Pilates space. I've done Reformer a bit. Okay, maybe you will know what she was. Reformer Pilates is tough. It's so, and it's a different strength, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really like those videos. Some of the reformer studios around here will share, like,

a local footy club will come in to do something different and the boys are shaking. Shaking, yeah. And then there's the strong Pilates where you can do it with the bike and the ergo attached. That's really hard too. Combine some different things. But when I came in today and said, oh,

I want to quickly tell you about something going on in the Pilates world, Babs straight away, she knew what's up. What did you say, Babs? The grippy socks. It's about the grippy. Oh, they're my favorite part. You get given those grippy socks? So this is what's keeping my friend up at night.

Right. She goes, oh, I'm trying to get back into a bit of a routine. Join the local reformer studio in my area. What's with the freaking grippy socks? I went, now I haven't done Pilates in a while. When I was doing it, you could go barefoot, and I prefer to be barefoot because even a thing called a grippy sock makes me nervous. Right.

I don't have a lot of strength, so anything where I'm like trying to hold a position, I'm worried my foot's going to slip a little bit or my ankle will roll a little bit. Yeah. You're going to tumble off the Pilates bed. Being barefoot, at least I can really curl my toes, skin onto that rubbery fabric, whatever it is. But the grippy socks have a grip on the bottom.

So it just holds. It's just, that's what they're for. But I find, because I've got such small feet, I don't find any of the socks are really secure on there. So my foot almost moves in the sock and I don't have that stability. She went, yeah, they tried to make me buy socks at my new Pilates studio because they wanted the specific grippy sock that they sell. She goes, can't I go barefoot?

Like, it'll be. Is it a hygiene thing? That's what they tried to say to her. It's a hygiene thing. She goes, mate, I'm sweating from every pore of my body. I'm leaking. My back, my arm, my pits, my bum. I'm sweating.

What does it matter if my feet are touching this bed as well? Well, this is what we were getting to a couple of days ago or maybe a week ago now, when no one washes the bottom of their feet or washes their feet or toes. You know, they're still dirty. Maybe that's what the Pilates people have identified. At least put a covering on the tootsies. For your Pilates, you're still dirty. Maybe that's what the Pilates people have identified. At least put a covering

on the tootsies. For your Pilates, you're rolling in a Birkenstock or a thong or whatever it may be. And those things are dirty. They are dirty. When you can see your toe indents on your shoe preference, you can tell all the grime that has built up. Oh, maybe that's why.

Because she thought, don't try and tell me it's hygiene when I'm sweating all over this thing. And you have to wipe it down at the end of class anyway. Yeah, you've's why. Because she thought, don't try and tell me it's hygiene when I'm sweating all over this thing. And you have to wipe it down at the end of class anyway. Yeah, you've got to give it a wipe. She's got a real vendetta against the grippy socks. So have you tried the grippy socks? I think I have a pair.

But as I said, I felt really uncomfortable in them because I felt like my foot was moving. So I've used the grippy socks in a Pilates class before that they gave. But I reckon you've got good strength regardless, you know, for us who are like just trying our best to survive. You mere mortals. Well, Babs, how did you go on the grippy socks? Yeah, okay. It reminded me of being at Spring Loaded.

Do you remember going to Spring Loaded? The trampoline place? I've never. I didn't know. Is that a trampoline place, like a trampoline park? Yeah. There's 15 years between us. There's so many names of what they could be.

We didn't grow up with trampoline parks, Babs. We grew up with the death trap trampolines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get your feet caught in the springs. You bounce in the backyard. You get your legs go through it. Not these PC ones that the kids have nowadays with the net around. The side net to it.

No, I could bounce my sister off. Do you want to play Scramble Egg again? Scramble Egg. Scramble Egg. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions,

all starting with the same letter. We have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice, and if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there's time. We're playing for $10,000. Our contestant today is Monique. Hello, Monique. Just say pass. We'll come back if there's time. We're playing for $10,000. Our contestant today is Monique. Hello, Monique.

Hi. Mon, how you doing for this Tuesday morning? Ready to win some cash? I'm really nervous. Don't be nervous. Just relax. We're all friends here, Monique. Good.

Where are you right now? Have you locked yourself in a bathroom? What are you doing? I have tiles. I'm at home. You're at home. You're at tiles. Okay.

Yeah, I'm not in the bathroom. I'm in the lounge room. Okay. All right. You're at tiles and lounge room. How dare you accuse her? No, I just said the echo-iness, but the tiles make it work. It's the lounge room.

Yeah, yeah. Monique, what would you like to spend $10,000 on? Maybe some carpet so it stops like a movie. I want to do home renovation. Yeah, that works. That's funny. Now I can't not picture Monique on the toilet. Yeah, on the bathroom.

All righty, Monique. Let's not muck around. We've got to get you that carpet done. The letter you're going to work in today is D. D for delightful. Okay. Okay. Just take a breath, Monique.

Breathe. Not too heavily into the phone. Monique, are we on speaker? Yeah. No, I have headphones on. Oh, that's what... Are these what AirPods sound like? No, they're like PlayStation ones, like game ones.

Do you want me to take them off? Yeah, maybe, Joss. I think so. I don't want to miss an answer, and I'm worried it's a bit muffled. I feel like you could be quite erratic in this game, so we don't want to miss anything. Is that better? That's much better, Monique.

Oh, see, we would never even have gone to the bathroom tiles. No, yeah. I feel so bad I know now. Much better, Monique. See, we would never even have gone to the bathroom tiles. No, yeah. It turns out tiles are fine. I'm so glad I know now. No one's probably given Monique that feedback. All those work calls. No wonder I can't close that deal. Everyone thinks I'm calling them from the bathroom.

Alrighty. Monique, you're ready to rock. The letter is D and your time will start after the first question. Okay. Starting with the letter D, time will start after the first question. Okay. Starting with the letter D, we need you to name a country. Denmark. A celebrity.

Pass. A dog breed. Pass. A school subject. Drama. A girl's name. Delilah. An instrument.

Drum. A TV show. A day-to-day life. An animal? Drum. A TV show? A day in our lives. An animal? A Dalmatian dog. An ice cream? A blanket. A fabric? Denim. A celebrity?

David Beckham. A dog breed? You came back strong. She did. I would love to know what you're going to say for dog breed. I know, after you said Dalmatian dog, because you went dog breed pass and then type of animal, Dalmatian dog. Yeah. I know. I realised after it, so I was, like, saving it to get back around a bit.

Oh, in your head. Look for animals. Tell me when you missed. You could have said dash hound. Oh. That would have got you $10,000. You got nine out of ten. Like, you had a great crack.

Well done. You're a great player, Anthony. No carpet for you. No carpet. I'm begging you headphones. Yeah, no new headphones. No, you don't get cash either. You get a hundred dollars to spend on Hello Skin.

How's your skin going? You get Hello Skin. Have you got the headphones back on? I can't hear you. We're just jumping in and out. Please don't tell me you call off those headphones for work regularly, Monique. No, I do use them for important calls. Okay.

I would stop. Hey, it was a bit of fun chatting to you, Monique. Enjoy that prize. Sorry you didn't get the 10, but you did get 9. That's an awesome effort. That's okay. Thank you. to you, Monique. Enjoy that prize. Sorry you didn't get the 10, but you did get 9. That's an awesome effort. Thank you, Monique. What a game. She was delightful.

You're getting 9 out of 10. I think that's getting shadowed by the fact that she was sitting on the toilet. I can't focus on anything other than that. Up next, Oscars yesterday. Kieran Culkin picked up supporting actor, but it's something he said in his awards speech to his wife that we want to drill down on. Absolutely.

We're talking ridiculous bets with your partner. It's quite funny. We'll do it after. Oh, this track. Yes. D for Dirty Cash. Pause Adventures of Stevie V. Great attitude, Ducco.

Dirty Cash, money talk. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 6, 11. What ridiculous bet did you make with your partner? Do you and your partner make bets, and then what was it, and did you have to keep it? Kieran Culkin, he's gone on a rip and tear this awards season. Golden Globe, BAFTA, SAG, Critics' Choice, and yesterday, the Oscar for his supporting role in the movie A Real Pain. It's so bad because I cannot take him away from just being McCauley's little brother.

The guy who peed his pants in Home Alone. That's right. Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi. But he really has come into his own right. No one's heard from McCauley for like a decade. He's more famous than McCauley now. Kieran Culkin, he's absolutely killing it. Yep.

He also won for Succession a couple of years back. But when he picked up his Oscar and he did his speech thanking his partner, well, he did it in a different way. About a year ago, I was on a stage like this, and I very stupidly publicly said that I want a third kid from her because she said if I won the award, she would give me the kid. It turns out she said that because she didn't think I was going to win. I guess I owe you a third kid.

And I turned to her and I said, really, I want four. And she turned to me, I swear to God this happened, it was just over a year ago. She said, I will give you four when you win an Oscar. She shook it and I have not brought it up once until just now. You remember that, honey? You do? I love the idea that he just sat on that. Yeah.

He went, ye of little faith. Yeah. I know my performance in this movie was killer. Yeah, yeah. I'm a good chance. I'm going to win this. I'm going to win this. That's his motivation and he got the Oscar. Now she's like, yeah, I'm going to win this. I'm going to win this. That's his motivation. And he got the Oscar.

Now she's like, yeah, I've got to give him a fourth kid. The cameraman, shoot, I hope they've got extra money because pants straight to her. And she hands him the head going, yep, that did happen. I did save us. It's so good. I love when you make bets with your partner and you've got to keep them. For us, for Morgan and I, she said to me, if you come up with something really good for our friend's wedding, the one that we just had a couple of weeks ago, I'll be involved

with you for your emceeing. If you're emceeing, I'll do it with you. This is a woman who we've only had on the radio show once. And that was just to announce the pregnancy. You've been in radio for over 10 years. She's never contributed to any of your shows. Huge move from her. She told me before the wedding, never spoken on a microphone.

So like you never made a speech properly. So then I said, I just shook her hand on it, wrote the song, put a part of her in a parody song. She's like, I've got to do it. Because that's a tough one from her. She really left it in her power saying, if you come up with something good, that's subjective. She could have gone, nah, that's not.

You know what I mean? Even though it obviously was. She committed and she did it. She committed. She went, all gone, nah, that's not. Yeah, yeah, that's not good. You know what I mean? Even though it obviously was. She committed and she did it. She committed. She went, all right, you put the effort in. I guess I'm going to have to execute. Yeah. And it turned out amazing.

Yeah. Highlight of your friend's wedding. Yeah. I saw the bride commenting on Morgan's contribution. How good it was. And the song, how good it was. All came from a bet, though. I love that.

Yeah. See, I am such a bailer of bets that I. You just changed the goalposts. I changed the goalposts very... Unless you get it in writing, I wouldn't make a bet with me because I will. Nah, nah. No witness. You didn't get it in your writing.

We didn't shake hands. Someone just knows better than to bet with me. So you guys don't do any bets? We don't do that. Our biggest thing is odds evens. Yes. You know, who has to go do the pooey nappy change? Yeah, totally.

It's not anything high stakes. Yeah, yeah. Like that. 13, 10, 60. It's not anything high stakes like that. 13, 10, 60, how high stakes was it? Did you make a bet with your partner? What was the bet? It could have been a bet for a proposal. Yes.

It could have been a baby bet. Yes. You know, where we're going to live, where we're going to move, what sort of dog we're going to get. Yes. These are life decisions. Names. Names.

Who gets the right to name a kid? She's actually, because Morgan, now that I think of it, we're naming a middle name for our upcoming daughter. She has selected. I'm not going to say too much about why or how, but she said basically because she had full reign of this, I get full reign of middle name for the next kid if we have another kid. Okay.

So she's getting, I'm like, you know, I'm going to make it a joke middle name. Absolutely. It's going to be Tyrannosaurus Rex. You're giving me full reign of this and I'm going to do it deliberately. Did you get it in writing? Have you shook hands? We have shaken hands. Very good.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. We're talking ridiculous bets you made with your partner. Yeah. Are you the kind of couple that will settle a debate or make a decision based on a little friendly bet? Yeah.

Like one of the arguably most famous men in the world right now, Kieran Culkin. Yep. A.K.A. Macaulay's little brother, aka best supporting actor, picking up the Oscar yesterday. For a real pain. He basically got up there, thanked his wife, but said after another award that he won a couple of years ago, she said, I'll give you a third child. He wanted one, that was the bet. And he said, he really wants four. She said, if you win an Oscar thinking he never would, I'll give you a fourth. And I really like the line. He looks her in the eye and goes, ye of little faith, here I am. Here we go.

I liked also he phrased it as, give me the kids. Yeah, I know. I want to, give me another one. You can clearly tell he was very overwhelmed and very emotional. But Kieran's getting a fourth kid. He's getting a fourth kid. He won the Oscar. Partner Beds, what was it?

Did you have to follow through? We go to Owen on 131060. Good morning, Owen. Morning, crew. How are we? Good. Owen, are you and your partner like to make a little bet with each other? Yeah, we were playing chess together about 16 years ago now.

Okay. She'd never played. I'd been playing since I was 10. Okay. She said, teach me how to play. If I win, you have to propose.

What she didn't know is I had a ring in my pocket. I'd been planning something a bit more structured, but I lost. I made a stupid move, default. Oh, well, okay.

And, yeah, so I got down the knee. So did you like throw the game so it just worked with that narrative? Or did you genuinely lose to him? Oh no, it was a genuine loss. We don't do the

gimmies. I don't know about you Jess, but Owen in the chess world is not just letting out that easy. Even if he's got the ring in his pocket. He's a grandmaster. He's like the competitiveness will come out. To E5, he ain't doing anything like, the competitiveness will come out. 9 to E5. He ain't doing anything else. The grandmaster will come out. Wow. I love the

idea you had a plan and then thought, wow, she's actually just batted up a perfect one here. She's got no idea I've got the ring in my pocket. Oh, how lovely. Just perfect timing. Perfect timing. That is great timing. That's cute. We go to Ellie on 131060. Good morning, Ellie. Hi, how are you?

So good. Ridiculous bets with your partner. So this was years ago. Had a ridiculous bet over who could get the most soccer goals on a field to buy dinner. I lost. I actually had dinner in hospital because I slipped over in mud and snapped the ligaments in one foot and twisted the other. Hey, your partner's going, hey, hey, you lost the bet though.

You're buying the royalty. Yeah, you're still getting the dinner. Jess and Ducko. Jarguy, it's time for some learning, mate. I've waited three and a half hours. Babs, you listening? Babs, you listening? School's in session.

I'm scared. So I'd be scared. It's all the human body and it's all beautiful. It's all natural. Natural. So we were in an obstetrician appointment yesterday. You're going to meet the midwife first. Brooks, our midwife, lovely lady.

Our obstetrician's fantastic. Do a great job. Morgan's in there asking a lot, because she goes, do you have any questions? And usually I'm just there blank faced like, oh, I think we're pretty common. And then Morgan's like, I've got a few questions. Pulls out her phone, has a list of five questions. And I'm like, just nodding along. I, too, want to know the answers.

I just didn't know. We didn't know that. You don't know what you don't know. You don't know what you don't know. That's it. I'm learning a lot of five questions. And I'm like, just nodding along. I too want to know the answers. I just didn't know. We didn't know that. You don't know what you don't know. You don't know what you don't know. That's it. I'm learning a lot in this process. I gave you a book. You read the book?

Yeah. Morgan reads it like every day. I've read parts. She just goes, read this part, read this part. I'm taking a day as it comes, baby. How's me? Learn about my mucus membrane. Okay.

I'll read that passage. Okay. Oh, lovely. This is nice. Anyway, then Morgan sort of hesitates. And I was like, what do you want to ask here? And she got awkward and a bit nervous. And she goes, do you think perineum massages are good?

And then the midwife went, okay, perineum massages. Now, there's no science behind the perineum massage helping and being good. But if you want to do it, it's up to you. It's unique, though. And they were like, both. And I go, stop. I'm sorry. Catch me up to speed.

Yeah, I was like, I'm sorry. I sound like a real idiot. What's a perineum massage? Like, this feels like something I can do. I know what one word of that combination is. Massage. It's still the same when attached to the word perineum. And then the midwife goes, okay, Ducco,

perineum is the area between the anus and the vulva. And I go, oh, the lady gooch. And she goes, yes, Ducco, the lady gooch. Now, at what point, Ducco, did Brooke, the midwife, turn to you and go, for this particular exercise, you are the one who needs to know about it. So she didn't, right? So she said that.

Oh, hang on. So she said, so for the perineum massage, it is that little section in between that tears, right? So you don't, you do this massage, shy guy, so you can, Babs, so you can loosen it up so it has less chance of tearing. However, her argument was, it's not really for everyone. I think it's going to tear. It might be some other issues.

And even, I'm sure Brooke told you this, there's a certain point where they say, don't start doing it because it can actually induce labour. But again, that might be a loose, tenuous research study or maybe even anecdotal where they go, any mucking around down there, you've got to be very conscientious. Well, she said some ladies will do 20 minutes every night before bed. And I'm like, so you did it?

I was wondering. And that's why I say it's not a self-service massage. Right. So Angus did it. You need assistance. So did Angus do it for you? Yeah, brother. Because then I said, well, this is.

We got a leaflet. Oh, can I have that? You didn't get a leaflet. I'll read that leaflet. I'll read that. I know we have different OBs. No, because she basically just. Because you've got to know what you're doing.

They were alluding to the fact that like it's not. Oh, were they basically saying done? It doesn't really do anything. That's what they were sort of saying. But each to their own. Each to their own. They weren't knocking it. And then Morgan's like, I wasn't sure.

And I was like, well, I feel like this is something I can assist with here. Because they say, you know. You should be. Because now with Morgan's belly, the idea is that, as you say, preparing the area. Very difficult for a lady to do that to herself. Yeah, because you can't even see down. The angles. Because there's angles.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's movement. Oh, there's two thumbs. There's techniques. There's techniques, babe. I just thought it was like a little ticky. Brother, I'm going to. No.

You need this leave for that. Yeah, I do. Dude, it's actually quite painful. Oh, really? Because you're preparing an area. So you've got to give it a bit of like a stretch and squeeze. She told me about the stretch and sweep yesterday too, by the way, and that is horrific.

I won't go into that in detail on air at this time. You don't need to. That could be a podcast chat. No, the perineal. I, I, one example. Yeah. One anecdotal. You didn't tear?

Little bit. Oh. Without the perineal, who knows how much worse it could have been. And was Angus good with the massage? Maybe I'll ask him for some tips. Oh, you should. He was very good. But you know what he's like.

Hey, brother, what's your perineal tips? Have you still got that leaflet lying around? Maybe he can do, I was going to say a demo. Nope. Don't say that. Don't say that. We'll do it on like a, no, yeah, you can't. There's no nice way to do that.

Maybe we need a guava. We get the fruit out. There's technique, brother. Okay. Like in health class in year nine, maybe there was apparatus for you to be better educated. Maybe we need apparatus. This feels like whoever wrote the rules of pregnancy and preparing,

someone's like, we need something for the dudes. Let's write this in there to make them feel useful. Maybe, because Angus took his craft very seriously. Oh, I bet he did. I would. I you know what? I did need two stitches. He was devastated. He went, I took it really personally.

I didn't do it well enough. All that perineal massaging. I went, no, no, that's on me. That's not on you, honey. Okay. It is very intimate. Because we left it, Biff, we probably won't do it, but I was just gobsmacked and shocked because I'd learned a lot yesterday as well as I said stretch and sweep and there was

a few things going on and I was like, oh my goodness. Mate, we really lent into anything we can do. Well, do it. Do it. We did and we did it. We made sure, clarify please, when it's appropriate and when it's safe. Well, can I borrow that leaflet? I imagine Angus has it in his top drawer.

I'm sure he's got, he's a filer. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sure he's got it. But he's also, it's locked in his memory. I'm sure. It's all there. Hey, it's your baby shower this weekend. We'll carve out some time. Yeah, we'll do. You see me memory. It's all there. Hey, it's your baby shower this weekend. We'll carve out some dogs.

You see me and Agus on the side? Hey, Morgan. Come over here. This is the double finger trick. Oh, what a time to be alive. You are being inundated. Rice Cooker's giving you information about their own experiences with massage. Are you finding more pro or anti?

The people who are messaging me are more pro perineum massage. That's definitely for sure. Has anyone sent the leaflet? No one's sent me techniques yet. I'm waiting for Angus' text. We'll get you in a one-on-one. It's his mum's birthday today, so he's just on the phone to her, but I'm sure he will.

I'll get to you next. If she's got any, I'm sure the perineal massage was around then in the 90s. Absolutely. I don't think I talked about this precisely with my mum when I was pregnant, but all the things I was saying, you know, the teas and the massages and the crystals, my mum's looking at me like, what? What are you doing? What are you talking about?

How different the times were. Of course, 30 years of medical advancements. She didn't know what I was talking about, perineal massage. I'd love to get your mum's hot take on perineal massage. I haven't actually told her about it. She'll have some opinions. Yeah, she would definitely. Maybe I'll ask her.

Please do. Where do you stay on perineal massage? Yeah, yeah. They're a complete freak out right now because there's a cyclone coming. They live in Brisbane and they're panicking.out right now because there's a cyclone coming. They live in Brisbane and they're panicking. Trying to get down this weekend

for the baby shower. Well, yeah, there's talk their flights might be grounded on Friday. And you don't feel surprised for this information, Ducker.

Anytime we do anything remotely celebratory for our lives or milestones, it rains. Wedding was just a cyclone. This baby shower

cycle, we want to have it at home, might need to move it. It's going to be wet. If her parents just a cyclone. This baby shower cycle, we want to have it at home, might need to move it. Yep. It's going to be wet. If her parents and my parents cannot come, we're like, well, that was all our support coming down and we might move it. Absolutely.

And the baby shower is such a nice thing to do with family. Yeah, that was kind of the whole idea for doing it, really. I kept hassling Morgan being like, can I help? Can I help? She kept saying, my mum wants to do it. Her mum was like taking, yeah, anyway. So watch this space. Because I know you were super keen on having a baby shower in the first place. Morgan's last week at work this week.

So before she goes on mat leave, I'm like, are you sure you want a baby shower on the Saturday? Here we are. Oh, no, it'll be wonderful. It'll be a great time. Wonderful. Great time. So much to look forward to.

So much to look forward to. So much life on the horizon, show guys. It'll be good no matter what. Thanks, mate. Hey, look, there's a glass half full. Wow, we started the show off with Shy Guy being very passive-aggressive, trying to educate us. I told you the most passive-aggressive phrase.

Don't ruin my stories. Because what I'm trying to say is look how well he's come around at the end of the show. You've come full circle. So positive. And you've learned a bit today, too, about the massages and all that stuff. Yeah, I've Googled some leaflets. Do you want me to flick them to you? Yeah, can you actually?

Print them. Print them. Put me through the techniques. You print them. I don't print. Perineal is spelled P-E-R. I was actually looking it up as you were saying that. Oh, really?

Can you spell it? Yeah. P-E-R-I-N-E-A-L. Yeah, check it out. Not for the faint-hearted. No. It's been a great show. If you missed any of it, grab it on Listener. Absolutely. Thank you to everyone who contributed and more chances at those tradie undies

tomorrow. 500 bucks. It's our call of fame just for getting involved in the show. Shut guys. No dips tomorrow. We're dipping. We're dipping. It's Wednesday. People very, very keen for the next serial. Well, last week we got it on the first we go, so. You're absolutely right. Not Crispix.

Yeah. Cheerios. Cheerios. Cheerios. It was. Which to me, Cheerios are Frankfurt. It's like the little red sausages. Oh, that's right.

That's what you call the most disgusting red skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You boil them. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what will it be tomorrow? Are we still attaching a jizz bit? I don't think so.

Two shy guy dips? A jizz bit and a fridge magnet. Okay. Yeah. That's hot property. Yeah. That is hot bloody property. A jizz bit and a fridgie.

How good's that? And a box of cereal. And a box of cereal. What a win. What a Wednesday. What a Wednesday. If you missed any show, grab the podcast on Listener. We're out of here.

We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. I think the only thing you can do there is swallow. Like, that's the only thing you can do. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run.