Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Starting your day with a bounce...

Episode Date: March 16, 2025

We find out what happened to your nuts, Jess is on the handwriting trend and Duckos trainer made some comments that shocked him!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McRap is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Welcome to the podcast everybody. Happy Monday, happy St. Paddy's Day. Oh, it was St. Patrick's Day. The luck of the Irish. The luck of the Irish. We discovered not all the team's great at accents.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. It's one of those things where, oh, I thought it was just me. You know, bringing down the team when it comes to accents. You've got your theatre background, your acting background. You're pretty good at the chameleon of voices. But it would turn out Babs and I not doing well in that space and I'm proud of you for giving it

a go at least. Yeah, I was on the spot. It sounded South African, then it was a bit Jamaican in there. Yeah. Happy St. Patrick's Day, man. Is Irish one of those accentsican in there. Yeah. It's in Patrick's dear man. Is Irish one of those accents? Can't be cancelled. It's actually quite hard. We're embracing.

We're embracing. You can't be cancelled. You gave it a go, and even though it was awful. It's like if anyone overseas tries an Aussie accent, none of us are going to be offended. None of us. I'm not going to try and cancel someone on TikTok for doing an Aussie accent. No.

I mean, I sound dumb. I don't care. No. No. No. It's so funny. Oh, my God. Sorry, this is very niche. The White Lotus don't care. No. No. No. It's so funny. Oh, my God. Sorry, this is very niche.

The White Lotus, the mum. Yes. Piper, no. No, Piper. Oh, it's so good. Tsunami. Tsunami. Boo dayism.

What accent is that meant to be? She's like a southern. Oh, like redneck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Southern kind of woman. And like in America. And there's all these things about her online. Because like the accent's very funny.

And she's like pretty much on, I think it's like Lamazapan or some drug the entire time where she's like just out of it and then reaches all hell. Do you know if it's the actress's real voice or is she putting on an accent? She's putting on an accent. She is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's pretty funny. It's funny those accents that seem so almost like a character, but I'm like, that's what some people sound like. I know. It's like a caricature in itself. She's probably doing that really well. Yeah.

Yeah. It's very funny. I need to get binge. sound like. I know. It's like a caricature in itself. She's probably doing that really well. Yeah, yeah. It's very funny. I need to get binge. Shy Guy, please read. I keep going around the house and saying to Morgan, no, no. Yeah, no one gets my references in the house. Is the housemates not watching it with you? No.

Such a good show. My normal binge. Binge. We'll try and get you HBO Max. Yeah, yeah. That'd be good to get. Because that's what Harry Potter's going to be on the TV show. True.

Yes. Who got cast as Dumbledore? Oh, yeah. I did see that. Was it not Liz Goh? Yeah, John Liz Goh. And Snape's black. Did you see that?

No, I didn't. Do we know the actor? I'm pretty sure. I can't remember. I swear I remember seeing that. I saw that too. Snape. I saw a great Snape thing the other day.

It was a, you know, not a meme. Someone had just shared it and it's going viral. And it was for the past year I've had a pretty dry history professor, like, you know, that sounds like a high school or uni or whatever. But today he like ran to the front of the lecture theatre, was so excited, and he said, I've been waiting my entire teaching career to do this. Open your books to page 394.

And did it in like the best Snape voice and all that. I went, oh, that's a bit of fun. I think, did you find anything this year? I think it is. I wasn't looking, but I can. Papa Esidu. I don't know. Okay.

I don't know who that is. Do we know who that is? Papa Esidu. Okay. This guy, but I don't know who that is. No, I don't know. Okay. I don't know who that is. Do we know who that is? Papa Essity. Okay. This guy, but I don't know who that is. No, I don't know him either. When is that scheduled for release? Next year.

Oh, that's exciting. I'm pretty sure, yeah, next year. That's exciting. I can't wait for that. And what's the premise? Is it literally following the books? It's following the books, but the first season's year one. The second season's year two.

Wow, so there'll be a lot to it. There's going to be a lot to it. So it's like it actually is going to go into detail. Have you reread the books since being an adult? No, neither have I. The first, like, particularly three would be so childish. Yes. It'd be a bit of a tougher.

But I have been pondering going back into reading it. It's funny because my whole Harry Potter trivia memory association, it's the movies. I can't remember the books at all. We were 11 when they came out. My dad read me the first three. Wow. Even younger then, maybe.

But how much detail do we not remember? I know, so much. Morgan's read the whole series like 10 times. Wow. Like lives for it. I can't reread stuff. It's just not. Yeah, the only book I've reread is my favorite book of all time,

A Man Called Ove. But rereading a whole series feels like such a monumental task to undertake. So you reread? Yep. Harry Potter? No, Harry Potter, but the Throne of Glass and the Sarah J Maas books. I've read them like three times. You love it at Fairy Point, don't you?

They were only released recently. I know. The problem is they're written so well that you read something else and then you go, oh. Oh, that's what I'm facing right now. So I finished all Sarah J Maas and I finished like the Onyx Storm and all that. I was saying to Jess before off air, now I don't have a book to read. I'm trying to read an Australian like, oh, man. It's so hard.

And I'm like bored and I'm not enjoying it. Yeah. Where's the dragons? Yeah, yeah. I went through a phase of only wanting to read crime fiction. I wasn't really interested in true crime, but I read back to back to back and then read a book about a cannibal and went, I've gone too far. I'm in a too deep.

Because he's trying to go to bed at night and you're dreaming about it. I'm like, now I need romance. Give me the fluff. Give me the light. Because if you get too into the genre, it ruins you for everything else. See, I don't know what to read. I don't think I want to stop with this book and try and find something else. Yeah.

Reading's a tough one. It is. If you don't connect, it does feel like it's an intimate act. You're in your bedroom. It's nighttime. You go, I'm wasting my life on this. Yeah. Reading's a tough one. Yeah. If you don't connect, it does feel like it's an intimate act. You're in your bedroom. It's nighttime. You're putting so much brain power. I'm wasting my life on this. Yeah.

How long is two, like when do you get into a book to go, okay, I've had it. Like I'm done. Oh, I'll give it two chapters. Really? Yeah. Like a TV show, I'll give it 10 minutes. A book, I'll give it two chapters. Because I'm like, I'm doing the percent.

I'm on Kindle. So I'm on 12%. Right. That's long enough. I'm thinking about going to 15. I would usually go to like 30. Oh, wow. So you really give it some. I try, butle, so I'm on 12%. That's long enough. I'm thinking about going to 15%. I would usually go to like 30%. Oh, wow. So you really give it some.

I try, but then, yeah. Unless it's book club and it feels like you should because otherwise we're not going to be able to talk about it. Or someone I really trust says, you've got to get through the first bit. The first bit's a tough slog. Have you read Iron Pilgrim? No.

Apparently it is an unreal book. It's one of Morgan's favourite books. I'm right. See, Morgan is someone I trust because she's such a prolific reader. And I want to read it, but... I am. I am Pilgrim. Oh, sorry, I am?

Yes. Oh, hang on a minute. I have heard of this. Yes. It's pretty popular. Is it gigantic? It's big. It's big.

Someone has recommended that. Yeah, yeah, it's big. But I'm really used to all those Sarah J Maas books. They're like 1,200 pages and stuff. They're big. They're huge. My issue with I Am Pilgrim, I might be wrong. Again, a friend I trust, but she used the phrase heartbreaking.

I'm not reading fiction to have my heart broken. It intersects with two stories, I'm pretty sure. I obviously haven't read it. I'm pondering it. Are you looking at it now, Babs? Yeah, I am. Have you heard of a book called This Little Life? Oh, no.

Yes, I have. Bro. Is that the grey cover with the... Yes. People describe that as heartbreaking. Oh, yeah. Mate, that thing should come with 50 million trigger warnings. It's the most horrific story I've ever read in my life.

No, I'm not doing heartbreaking if that's the sort of category of story. No, thank you. I want light and fluffy. The world's hard enough. You want like the Finding Nemo books. I really do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know of one?

I was going to say, does that sound like- Picture books? No, that's one thing. I don't like, you know, some stories, even if it's just a proper novel, it'll have like a little diagram for something or a little drawing. I go, don't waste my time with your drawings. Yes. But no, light and fluffy.

Light and fluffy. Romance. Love me romance. Yeah. Love me romance. Well, you know, I'm very early into my reading journey. Yes. I've only read 19 books.

They've all been the Sarah J Maas slash the, like, what's the, who's the person who writes Onyx Storm? Rebecca Yaros. Well, you know what's funny? Rebecca Yaros, she's written one of the best romance books I've ever read. Wild. Not one bit of fantasy in it. It's like set in World War II.

I wonder if you'd like that, if you like her writing. I don't know, yeah. Or do you just like that story? I don't see the fantasy as about romance. It is like fantasy with sex. Yep. But like the romance, I don't, it's not like. This book has a bit of sex in it.

Oh, okay. But it's, you know. Well, Shy Guy, you might like it. I don't, it's not like. This book has a bit of sex in it. Oh, okay. But it's, you know. Well, Sean, you might like it. I don't read books. I've had quite a few people in this chat. I've got nothing to add. Yeah, yeah. Don't say you've got no time.

You don't like it. You're not that busy. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not. Yeah, exactly. But you just said I don't have the time. It's hard though because you're like me. I don't.

I've got 19, 14 books. Yeah. You're like me. You're dyslexic. So it's hard. It is hard to do it. It is. You've got to really. The words don't do anything. No, it's tough.

You've really got to sink into it. Yeah, I didn't even do an audiobook. That bores the crap out of me. I can't do audiobooks either. I can't. I only like audiobooks when they're self-help because I feel like they're trying to help me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The habit book and the one about the dopamine. You listen to The Secret regularly, don't you? Absolutely. Always. I like to know how to neg and peacock. Is that that? I think so. Is that yellow cover with the red?

It's like, The Secret. No, what am I? I'm thinking of that one, oh, The Pickup Artist book. What's that one called? I can't remember. Did you all read that? Yeah, no, yeah. Oh, Pickup.

How were you reading in school? Did you just pretend to read like I did? I don't think I really did read much in school. I don't remember. You know in English, you got books, right? You had to read them. We? I don't think I really did read much in school. I don't remember. You know in English you got books, right? We, I don't recall getting, we did get some, like what's the one everyone gets? To Kill a Mockingbird.

Had that. I got through them, I think. I didn't mind. I actually enjoyed To Kill a Mockingbird. You know what? Never read it. I haven't seen the movie. It's pretty good. Yeah, I actually enjoyed it. We had a few others. One for the Cuckoos now. That was a show. Wow, you were like It's pretty good. Yeah, I actually enjoyed it. We had a few others. One Flew Over the Cuckoos now. That was a show.

Wow, you were like, they went vintage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did probably the oldest book, which is Catcher in the Rye. Oh, I never did that. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah.

We did Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Oh, yeah. See, that's sad. That's very sad. It's like shit. The game. The game. Not the secret.

The game was written by a guy named Neil who became a mentee under this guy who proclaimed to be the world's best pick-up artist. And it's all about negging and peacocking. He ended up sleeping with thousands of women using these tactics. So not The Secret, The Game. We'll swap books. You should try The Game, Sharga.

Yeah. I can really see you peacocking. There was a few rice cookers at the lunch on Friday. They would have gone home with Sharga. Oh, they were desperate for a boogie at least. Oh, yeah. Got their hands all over you. Did you see someone DM saying, Sharga, I need to pay rice?

Yeah, because it was your show. I shared it on the story. I didn't see that one. Oh, yeah, I shared it. She was just like arms folded on the D4. In the corner, Babs is there fanning herself profusely. That was hot. It was hot.

It was a warm afternoon. It was very hot. How good were our fans? The fans were sick. The fans looked fantastic. The fans were great. I emptied my bag out when I got home. I like to just, okay, put everything away.

I came home with that many jizz bits. I think Nick from Promotions put about 50 jizz bits in my bag. Because I was giving that to people. They were like, can I get one? I'm going to give you two. I'm not sure if he did that for me. He must have. But I didn't know they were in my bag.

I didn't know they were placed in your bag. They were in my bag. Well, you're the lucky winner. Congratulations. Well, I put them back on Nick's desk. I went, one, don't like Crocs, and two, don't own Crocs. I don't need these. I don't need these.

So they're back in circulation, guys. They were a hot property. People were going, and then I pulled them out. What I did is I pulled them out to give to someone, and then someone else saw me do it. He goes, I want one. I didn't have one. I was like, here's a bottle opener. And they're like, like yeah it's a fucking

bottle opener one woman was wearing they weren't the enclosed crocs but almost like a croc slide she had the dogs out and I noticed

she had jizz bits on them and I went can I film me but I went and got down on my knees at her feet and she freaked the fuck out

she was like what are you doing I'm just trying to put a jizz bit on you she's like don't look at my toes I'm like I'm just trying to put a cheese pit on you. She's like, don't look at my toes. I'm like, I'm just trying to put a cheese pit on your shoes. I'm there with a camera up close on her toes. And you can tell Shy Guy and I not being croc wearers.

I was trying to pull. I thought it was a push through. We didn't know that. I was like, stop filming, Shy Guy. I can't pull the pin. You just shove it through. You just shove it through. And our jizz bits are a bit dogey. They're a bit hard to shove through. Or just shove it through. And our jizz bits, I think, are a little bit dogey.

They're a bit hard to shove through. Or are they just brand new? Maybe. Very stiff. Very rigid. They're like shotgun on the D4. That's our jizz bits. They are.

They just don't move. But no, it was nice to see the excitement for our merch. Yes, it was. One guy left with four fans. I'm like, you took one of mine. You had three in his back pocket and he was fanning himself with one. I was like, that guy's hot. Oh, if you're on eBay, we'll know who sells it.

How much would you pay for a Jess and Ducko fan? Oh, how much would I pay? Yeah, you'd pay a bit of money. Not a lot. You'd pay a bit of money. Come on, mate. You've got access to them here in the cupboard. Yeah, I reckon they'd go for top dollar.

Absolutely. Ten bucks, I think, is a fair price. That water bottle that Taylor Swift allegedly drank out of and Jess and Ducko fans. Oh, yeah. Same price. The fans were good. People were using them. Also, that made people say to me, the espresso martinis on Bailey's were fantastic.

Because everyone, when they first saw it, were like, I didn't actually have it. I'm not a huge Bailey's fan, so I didn't even have a little sip. They were good. They were good. They were smooth. Ask Babs. She even braved the guts.

They were good. But, yes, I was like, every time I took a sip, I was like, this is going to be good. You're feeling the gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. So this is going to be an issue later. It's creamy. It was. Yeah, weirdly it doesn't affect my guts that much, but no, they were good. There's no Neapolitan ice cream.

Oh, no. You can get away with your Baileys. Oh, PTSD from Neapolitan ice cream. I wouldn't tell you that much. Anyway, it's a great show for you guys. Great show. A lot of prizes to give away. Vibes were very high.

Well, you can't win if you leave the podcast, but. Nah. But this might inspire you to get involved tomorrow. I love that. You know, because there's more going on. Yeah. Coffee machine. Enjoy.

Babs, give them your Irish accent to get us out. Say enjoy the show in Irish. I don't even know how to start with this. Hang on. Can you give me one? Give her a lead in. You know, the trigger word. Oh, to be sure, to be sure.

Oh, enjoy the show. Not at all. Not at all. Happy Monday, and we do have a full team this week to start the week. It's so funny. Last night, Angus sat me down. We like to just look at the week ahead, how we're feeling, where do we need to help each other, what's going on. And I went, damn, we've got to do a full week this week.

I'm feeling good. You're saying I'm not doing two days? What's going on? And I went, damn, I've got to do a full week this week. I'm feeling good. You're saying I'm not doing two days? I'm going in for a Monday. Okay. Am I match fit for five days of work? Let's find out together. Here we go. It's good to have everyone in today.

It is great. I thought the wheels had come off or people were going to feel a bit loosey-goosey. Rolled in this morning, Ducko. Babs has hit us with a reverse park for the first time I've ever seen in the Beetle. I did notice that because I saw your three cars there before mine. I was like, why does it look different? Is that the front of the Beetle we're seeing? So a week in the chair, she's obviously feeling different.

Oh, yeah, she's coming for that car ambassador shit. I just felt like I could reverse park today. I'm not really sure why. I feel like you look taller. You go, girl. There's a lot going on. Did you do something yesterday that was refreshing? No, I just rocked up and I feel like you look taller. You go, girl. You know, there's a lot going on. Did you do something yesterday that was, like, refreshing or...? No, I just rocked up and I

was like, well, everyone reverse parks, so what are I? And then I was like, I'm going to try it. And it works, so... Wow. But it's funny because we've been doing that since last year, all of last year. You know what that reminds me of? I don't know, because I'm 23. I feel like I should be brave enough to eat a capsicum. Our little girl's growing up in front of our very eyes.

Good on you, Babs. Good on you. And she's wearing her picnic rug pants again today? She's feeling herself in her gingham. Gingham, I always forget the name. No, you know what's happened? The nails finally make sense. Her toxic, garbage, green nails.

It's St. Paddy's Day. Oh, happy St. Patrick's Day, Babs. The synergy. Oh. The synergy. Give us your best Irish, please. I used to be a Shireena. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. What was that? Go again, Babs. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I mean, I'm not going to judge anyone's accent doing because I am not great at it. So good on you for having a crack. That was spot on. Shy Guy, can we have your best Irish, please?

Wish everyone a happy St. Paddy's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I was alright. It's not bad. Your day was really good. I'm one year the commitment from you two. Yeah. Are you feeling good now?

Because you were a big... I feel better. Still a cough, but I feel much better than last week. But when we talk about new eras, we've got Reverse Park era from Babs. Stand-up paddleboard era from Shy Guy. Can we talk about your thirst trap photos you were posting on your story yesterday? When you sent the content email last night, you then responded, I then responded, and then I went, oh, wait a minute.

Are we going to have a sup update? Yeah, you went, how shit is supping? Supping is the worst. It's so boring. Stand-up paddleboarding. Stand-up paddleboarding. It's what all the cool people call it. I don't know the lingo.

It just, I can't. I still knew it. I rented it for the hour, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you enjoy it? Yes, it was all right. It's what all the cool people call it. I don't know the lingo. It just, I can't. I've been renting it for the hour, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you enjoy it? Yes, it was alright. It was good. We were on the beach just watching people do it.

We were like, let's go do that. Who snapped that hot pic of you entering the water? My cousin. I was with my cousin. I was on the beach with my family. I was going to say, who was the girl in the photo? I was like, it's just a soft launch. This could be a soft launch.

It's a shy guy launch. Definitely not. And he was just doing that really coy, you know, the head was bowed as he dragged the giant board. I'm like, oh, here he goes. As he's dripping, you know, beads of water dripping from his nips. Totally dry at that point. Yeah. You saw what you saw.

That's okay. Whatever you remember is fine for me. More skin from Shy Guy on social media. Jess is sending you fire emojis, like straight up. It was a beautiful day not to be in the sun. Not to sup, man. Not, yeah. It was good of you to get be in the sun. Not to sup, man. It was good of you to get out of the house.

We were proud of you. It was after the week of in the house. Yes. And then can we talk about Shy Guy's dance moves at the lunch we had on Friday? Lack thereof. Lack thereof, very much. Well, you know what it gave to me, Ducker? You had some behind-the-scenes footage. Our wonderful team from Newey Digital, who was capturing every angle, had some vision.

He was like a marionette puppet. The rice cookers, specifically, some of the ladies, were really just manhandling him. Trying to get him into it. I didn't appreciate you thought it was me at one point. They just let it go. And then I noticed you in front of us. Who is touching me?

Who is behind me? What is going on? To be fair, I was doing that to him not long before, like lifting his hands. So I was just like, oh, I was so rigid and so awkward. Just trying to get a bit of life. I don't dance. No.

Couldn't even get him to do the conga line. Oh, that didn't last very long. Couldn't get that. That's okay. And also, how did you go last? That was the hottest night on record, I think, for the year. Yeah, you know what's funny? My husband likes to have the air con on and he sets it on a time line

and then the fan takes over. Oh, yeah. I was the one asking for the fan last night. I went, it is stifling. It was like 28, 29 degrees at like 10 o'clock. But I've got that stupid affliction where I still need the doona. I still need the weight of something on me. Yeah, 100%.

So it's like pump that fan. Yeah. But I want to feel nice and cosy and tucked in. That's why you need the air con at 18 and high. And protect from the monsters. Yeah, protect from all the monsters. Actually, Babs, your house would have been very hot. It was, but we had the air con on until pretty late last night.

Oh, okay. And then I just switched over to a fan. There you go. There you go. We're all just, we're doing it. I'm glad we're all here. Because I tell you what, we have a huge week of shows. It's actually massive, namely because the next two to three weeks

I think we have the greatest prizes on the program that we've ever seen. I've opened up my wallet accidentally for the gift registry. That's right. You've had a little brain fart. Yeah, I bought too many things. And you are adding things to registry that are really not baby appropriate. You know, you don't need them. The baby

doesn't need them. Look, even if it is baby appropriate, my wife just said, no, I've got it sorted. You're an idiot. So now I'm going to gift it to the rice cookers. And today, you listen out need them. The baby doesn't need them. Look, even if it is baby appropriate, my wife just said, no, I've got it sorted. You're an idiot. So now I'm going to gift it to the rice cookers. And today, you listen, we're doing this every single day for the next couple of weeks. And their great prize today is $1,000 to spend at Woolworths. And all you need to do is get involved in the show

when you hear the instruction to call. You'll hear a little baby crying. And that could play at any moment. Yes. Could play now. Ah, it didn't. But it didn't. It didn't.

Could play during the ads, during the song. Yes. Somewhere during another talk conversation. At any stage. You hear the baby crying and you're cute to call your call, so you can win that. Plus, it doesn't end there. A thousand dollars at Woolies is really good,

but I've just sort of snuck a peek at Tomorrow. Like, Tomorrow's amazing. Oh, they're all really good. They're amazing. I'm really annoyed at my wife for doing this. We've also got Cofods as well, which is... Wait a minute. We're drawing this every day, too.

So we're giving away something off your registry. Confusing, I know. $1,000 worth of Woolworths today. Yes. But we've also got a Cofod to draw at the end of the program. It's a Newcastle Food Month package in April with a Crystal Brook Kingsley Hotel foodie sleepover and $500 cash. So we can get you here.

You can have cash to spend here. You have a night to stay. And then you enjoy one of the amazing things happening for Newcastle Food Month. So we've got that drawing at the show for the best caller. Plus we have the cuticle for the $1,000 voucher to spend at Woolworths for my baby registry. Remember when Micaiah last week,

and you would have heard it in the opener there, said the rest... MacGyver. MacGyver. MacG. Remember when Micaiah last week, and you would have heard it in the opener there, said the rest... MacGyver. MacGyver. Thank you. Yes, thank you, Taco. Said the rest are rubbish. Yeah.

You're the only talk show I listen to. This is why. This is why. This is why, because we like to reward you. And spend $10,000, $630,000. Oh, God, don't forget about Alphabucks. We've got everything going on, team. And Shy Guy might talk more about stand-up paddleboarding later.

Will you? I think it's done. Oh, we're done with that. Maybe Babs will give us another Irish accent if we're real lucky. Come on, Babs. Probably not. Come on, just one more while we get into the song. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Are we getting, like, Jamaican? Yeah, I don't know how I'm going to do it. We've gone Caribbean. You should do that all the time. I probably shouldn't. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Ducking over to Canada.

Always love to visit. Oh, Canada's lovely, isn't it? Toronto. Toronto. Montreal. Go Gators. Go Blue Jays. Blue Jays.

You know, I went to that one baseball match. Yeah, you like the Blue Jays? I love the Blue Jays. Yeah, but I'd like to go to an ice hockey match. Never been. Just want to see them fight. I would love. And smash up against the Perspex.

Yeah, really go at each other. But we're here in Canada for some really sad reasons. As we know, Trump is president of the United States of America right now and he's putting

all sorts of tariffs on various countries including, I saw, Australia's not going to be immune to that but anyway, let's not get into that. Yeah, he's burning

a lot of bridges. Yeah, he's basically just trying to cut America off from everyone and say, we're our own. That's right. He's really becoming North a lot of bridges. He's basically just trying to cut America off from everyone and say, we're our own. That's right. He's really becoming North Korea.

He is. He really is just cutting everything off and going, we'll do it ourselves. And let's remind everyone, he was voted in. He was voted in. He was voted in. What are the tariff shagas that he's got in Canada right now? There's a bunch of them. The biggest one is for aluminium and steel worth about $13 billion. So pardon

my ignorance, Darko. quickly get me up to speed. As in Canada wants American aluminium, but he's now what, taxing it more, charging more? 25% more. 25% more. Wow. I know in China and stuff, he's doing like 90% more. Things like wine imports and various things like that. So if you want anything from them, he's now going-

Or if you want Americans to buy your product, he's going to charge you an arm and a leg Oh, so a vice versa situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dull. But how's this? The Canadians have come out, which is what I think is genius, which is why we're here right now.

Because the Canadians own Chargo's favourite website. Is that a Canadian website? It's owned by a Canadian pairing company. Oh, of course you'd know. See, there it is. I did my research.

We've got stocks. That'd be good. I don't have stocks in actually. Pornhub. For those that didn't know, that's Sound Effect, Shogo's favourite website. So it's a Canadian parent company. So the Canadians have said, well how about we do this in the most Canadian thing ever. There's been a petition to ban

Pornhub in the United States of America which is a peaceful yet powerful response to the trade dispute because it is the biggest, most visited site in the US. Three million Americans view Pornhub every single month. Three million Americans will now not have access to Pornhub as the response to the tariffs. So the Canadians are like, you want to ban us from all our goods and aluminium? No porn for you. Tit for tat.

Well, no tit. No tit. But you're tat. Good luck with all the other websites, with all the bugs. Are there even... What are the... They own all of the websites, basically.

Oh, really? Here it is. Wow, they have a monopoly on all... All tit. Give us some of the names of the list. The red one. Red tube. The U one.

Yep. X tube. The U One. Yep. X Tube. So a fair few. And a bunch of studios, like Brazos, Reality King. I don't know. So where they film them as well. Wow, they've got a monopoly. Yeah, yeah.

I want you to know, Shago's got no notes in front of him. He is just rattling this from the vault. Absolutely. And the issue is he's trying to self-censor on the fly, but he knows it's information like the back of his hand. Yes, he's pretending. Or should I say the back of his hand? That it's hard to now go, I want to share.

I know. Because it's my hard... If he went on Hard Quiz, you know that show with Tom Gleeson? It would be... Hell yeah, hard. Hard. So... Play the sting, come on.

No, no, no. I allow that. Thank you, Dr.! That one you allow. Everyone knows Hard Quiz. It was a pun. It was a sting. Come on. No, no, no. I allow that. Thank you, Tucker. That one you allow. Everyone knows hard quiz. It was a pun. It was a pun. Thank you.

Thank you. It was good gear. I know. So anyway, the Canadians want to do it. They're signing petitions so they can get it banned. This isn't actually an official thing. It's just the public saying, let's do this to them. But I love it.

If they're going to raise the price of my aluminium, then they can't see no Canadian titties no more. Americans have come out and said, if Canada did that, I'd be moving. I'd be leaving the US. Hey, I did see a news article today, celebs fleeing America. I mean, celebs.

It was like Rosie O'Donnell. She's a huge Pornhub gal. Maybe this is what. Jess and Ducko. I was going to ask you to take us to South Korea, Ducko, but Rosé and Bruno Mars just did that, I guess. They are South Korean. Well, I feel like we're here.

It's wonderful. We learnt from Shy Guy that apatay is a drinking game that people play mainly in apartments. Apatay means apartment. It does. I learnt. I do have their South Korean anthem, though. Oh, well, you know what?

Let's keep us here. That's great. Not what you'd expect. Rosé did finish. This is wonderful. I don't know South Korean anthem, though. Oh, well, you know what? Let's keep us here. That's great. Not what you'd expect. Rose did finish. This is wonderful. I don't know what I expected, but it's not this. Are we in a church? Feels a bit.

It feels very hymn-like. Yeah, it feels very hymn-like, doesn't it? Tough one to sing. Not mad about it, because maybe you could do this new trend that has spawned out of South Korea. Maybe a church next Sunday. Yes. It's a trend called Pilsa. It is taking over social media.

As I said, origins have been linked back to South Korea. And I'm not even going to say young South Koreans. This person quoted in the article is 28 years old. There's another guy in here who's 25. He's actually a baseballer. Pilsa is the art of handwriting. Oh, goodness. Which you might be thinking in 2025, unless you're in school,

who's still picking up pen and paper? And when you do pick up a pen and write something, how bad are you at writing now? I'm horrible at writing. It's like I've forgotten how to do it. So, you know, I think I've shared with you, I've started journaling. Yeah. Are you still doing that?

Yes. I'm very proud of myself. Like one sentence a day? So it's funny. My first couple of entries were pages long. Like I really threw myself into it. Are your pages just what you had for dinner, what you had for lunch, how hungry you are? To start the process of journaling, my aim was about habit forming.

Because you know me, I pick up a trend and I'm happy to admit I give up after a week. So my first thing was like, throw yourself into it, Jess. Go for it. Get a nice journal, nice pen. It's meant to be really good for you. It's meant to be so good for the head noise, yeah? Yeah. So my first couple of days entries were pages long and they were deep.

Yeah. If they ever get found. Like your secret recipe to Cabanara. No. My feelings. Oh, sorry. My feelings. Right, right.

Actual deep. Hey, man, I've put my recipe for Cabanara on socials. That ain't no secret. So true. There's no cream. There's sorry. My feelings. Right, right. Actual deep. Hey, man, I've put my recipe for carbonara on socials. That ain't no secret. So true. There's no cream. There's no onion. Anyway. But because I'm now more focused on just trying to keep the habit, they have become shorter.

Yeah, of course. And shorter. Because you can't go that deep every day. And I'm in a bad routine of I'm doing it just before I'm switching the lamp off and going to sleep. So I'm not in the mood. Do you sign on with like, hey, Jess? No, I go straight in. I write the date because it's a nice way for me to go, yep, I've done it again today.

But I'm just straight in. Today, the day Lucia had a seizure, that's a one-liner and it was today was a bad day. And I just couldn't. And that's the end of that. I couldn't process anymore. Maybe I can do that this week, another time. Do you go back and read your past entries? If it's the one before, my eyes sort

of just skim it, and because they are very short. But you hit the nail on the head. I'm trying to form this habit. I'm trying to do something for the mental health, the head noise, this Pilsa trend that's spawned in South Korea. My hand kills. Oh, it's so hard to write. I have forgotten how

to hold a pen. Yeah. How did we write essays in year 12? I don't know. I do not know. I've completely lost the art of handwriting. And I just don't feel like it would have the same impact if I was to do it on the laptop. Type it. Or do it on your phone. You can do it on your notes.

Is this Pilsa, whatever it is. The South Korean Pilsa. South Korean thing. Is this journaling or is it just writing? It is literally just writing. So much so that there now are books that are for sale that will have maybe a quote or a passage or just a random string of words. And the idea is you handwrite what you're reading.

Oh, you copy. You just, you remember in, again, primary school, look, cover, write, check? Yeah. Remember that sort of, so you'd practice your literacy and your spelling and your handwriting. Now they're saying they're recommending that for adults. This is like colouring in the lines of colouring things.

Yes. It's the same thing. We've moved away from the meditative colouring books to handwriting as a practice of meditation to boost literacy in adulthood. And so we don't lose the art. Of writing. Of writing. Because I tell you what, at 33, the pain I feel.

Oh yeah, the cramping you get. The pennies tucked in where the thumb meets the hand. What the hell? When you went through school, Babs, did you guys even use pens? Yeah. You've got a pen licence still. Okay. Is that still a thing? Because it's still round. We do the credits for Harvey Norman, BYOD.

That's for bloody primary school. Everyone needs a laptop. And that and that specific laptop for year two. What do you mean? Yeah, ridiculous. We saw COVID kill cash. When is the pen going to die out? Because BIC is just trembling in their boots. Trembling.

But, I mean, South Korea is doing what they can with this Pilsa trend that is allegedly just getting more and more popular on social media. And more people are doing it. More people are doing it. I think journaling is probably catching on as well as a mental health practice. I've tried journaling three times in my life and it's always lasted a couple of weeks.

But I think I'm going too deep like you. Yes. I think I need to just let it all lie. We need to talk about carbonara. Yeah, yeah. And how good the... Angus made ripper lamb chops last night. That was in my diary entry.

I see. There it is. I knew it. One little hack for you. Yeah. Don't use pepper in your seasoning before you cook lamb chops. See, there it is. I knew it. One little hack for you. Yeah. Don't use pepper in your seasoning before you cook lamb chops. See, that was a food hack. Jess's diary would all be food hacks.

Yes, because the pepper burns. Oh, my God. He didn't put pepper. They were way better. Ah, there you go, guys. So that was my journal. Welcome to my journal. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on here. Alpha Bucks. Oh, yeah, a bit of a jazz up. Hello. New week, new us. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back if there's time.

We're playing for 10K. Our player today. We've been waiting a long time for this guy. Oh, my God. He has kept us on tenterhooks. Oh, my goodness. And today, Monday, 17th of March, St. Paddy's Day is gone. I'm going to put them out of their misery.

I'll call in. I'll call in. It's Sean. Hello, Sean. Hello. How are you all? We're excellent. Happy St. Paddy's Day to you, Sean.

Thank you, you too. I'm already in my green. Good job. Love that. Now, Sean, 10K on the line. What are's Day to you, Sean. Thank you, you too. I'm already in my green. Good job. Love that. Now, Sean, 10k on the line, what are you going to do with the money? I'm going to put a bit more stock into my saltwater aquarium, if not buy a second tank itself. Wow, okay. We have much to discuss. Sorry, I'm missing what you're saying. Saltwater aquarium. A bit more stock into the aquarium.

Amazing. What would that mean? What is putting more stock into your saltwater aquarium, Sean? A few more corals, maybe a few more fish. What's your pride and joy at the moment? Who's in there that you're like, you're my favourite, don't tell the others? Oh, yeah. Oddly enough, it's a little cleaner shrimp. A little shrimp?

A little queen shrimp, did you say? A little cleaner shrimp. He's got a bit of character. Cleaner shrimp, yes. He's got a bit of character, though. Cleaner shrimp, yes. He's got a bit of character. He does. Yeah, he's the shrimp that just could. Oh, I love that.

Oh, that's cool. Does he have a name? Like, do you name everything in your aquarium? No, unfortunately not. Okay. No one tells me that attached. Doesn't want to humanise them too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But let's get some more coral for those guys. Well, how perfect is this, Sean? You let us see. Oh, there you go. See for coral. Oh, that works. That works really well. See for cleaner shrimp. Well, how perfect is this, Sean? You let us see. Oh, there you go. C for coral. Oh, that works. That works really well. C for cleaner shrimp.

Cleaner shrimp, which I just learnt today. Yeah, say, oh, at risk of you playing the niche thing. Here we go. It's like the shrimp in Finding Nemo. You know, the one that he says. I don't remember shrimp from Finding Nemo. Remember in the dentist's tank. Oh, yes, I do remember that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pierre, and he comes out and he cleans. Now I've got to see if I. I think he's a cleaner shrimp. Okay, yes. I do remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pierre. And he comes out and he cleans his mouth on a few times. That's just far too niche. I think he's a cleaner shrimp. Okay, there you go. I thought that was just the personality they put on that character. Sean, is he a cleaner shrimp?

Sorry? No, don't worry about it. Let's push on. Let's just keep doing it. All the shrimping happy feet. Thank you, Babs. Sean, the letter C. Are you ready?

As I'll be, yep. Yep, very good. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C. Are you ready? As I'll be, yep. Yep, very good. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C. We need you to name something you wear on your head. A cat. An ocean animal. A cleaner shrimp.

An Aussie athlete. A type of cheese. Cheddar. A vegetable. Carrot. A movie. An Italian dish. Carbonara.

A type of tree. Cedar. A country. Chile. A fashion brand. An Aussie athlete. Ooh, we got through all the questions. We got ourselves seven.

Mate, seven of the best. Seven good ones. Seven good ones, too. He was cooking with gas. He was firing. And Hagrid's an ocean animal there, too. That was, again, we said. That just happened.

That just happened. Just happened. I'm not going to bring up cleaner shrimp. No one did. Not even the cleaner shrimp. An Aussie athlete could have been Cameron Sweet or Cathy Freeman. A movie clueless castaway. What else did you know?

A fashion brand could have been Calvin Klein. Everything else you got, you nailed. Look, you don't go away empty-handed, though, Sean, because we like you. $100 cash for you. C for cash, baby. That's all yours. I appreciate that. Hopefully that can at least get you one part of the coral.

Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Or a tiny toy broom for the, baby. That's all yours. I appreciate that. Hopefully that can at least get you one part of the coral. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. Or a tiny toy brood for the cleanest room. How much does coral set you back these days? From a small fragment, you're looking about $40, $50. For a full piece, you're looking $100 plus. And you're not going to Pet Barn for that. Where is one procuring coral for their fish tank?

Bit of sponsorship here, I guess. But all about fish at Warners Bay. All about fish at Warners Bay. There you go. Shout out to you. All about fish. We should pay them a visit. Do we get a team cleaner shrimp for the studio? We should do that.

We've wanted a studio pet. Are they easy to maintain, Sean? Sort of, yeah. That's a no. Sean's going to kill that thing. Yeah, never mind. Hey, Sean, thanks for playing, mate. Great to meet you. All right, you too. Thank you, Daco. Thank of, yeah. Oh, that's a no. Sean, I was going to kill that thing. Yeah, never mind. Hey, Sean, thanks for playing, mate. Great to meet you.

All right, you too. Thank you, Ducco. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you. We'll play again at 8 o'clock for $10,000. This is why we love Sean. Yeah. He always comes with something interesting and so damn polite.

So polite. Wow. Who else thanks us after they lose the alpha box? No one. No one. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60. What happened to your berries?

These nuts. What happened to them? And can I add supplementary?, 60. What happened to your berries? These nuts. What happened to them? And can I add supplementary? Yeah. What do you call your berries? Oh, you want to know names. I want to know names. Yeah, yeah.

You know? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if there's that many names for them. Oh, you reckon there's not as many as the... Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. The Johnson. Yeah.

Yeah, the Johnson obviously has a lot of names that go with it. It does. But the berries, you know, the meat and veg, the... What did someone say to me the other day? My yams? Oh, the yams. The crown jewels? The crown jewels.

What up with your crown jewels? I'm to the crown jewels. This is a wild case over in LA. A jury has hammered Starbucks with a $50 million verdict to be paid to a customer, Michael Garcia, after he suffered excruciating burns to his genitals, scalding hot tea, getting skin grafts and permanent damage to his berries. First question, who's ordering a tea? I just...

From Starbucks too? Paying $6 for a cup of tea from... I understand if you don't drink coffee. Yeah, it was a venti size too, the big one. Oh, that's a big one. It's a huge one. That's the 20-ouncer. That's a big one.

Oh my God, that is a lot of boil. That's half your kettle. So hot. Poured straight on the Johnson. It's not saying anything about cool down with a bit of milk. No, you'd never be able to drink that, too. That would take so long for it to cool down. A hundred percent.

And Starbucks, I assume, is on the move. You know what I mean? He's either in the car or he's walking. You can't drink a tea on the move. So it must have been a drive-through. So he's ordered it, and this is how they're winning the case. They say the employee failed to secure the cup properly in a takeout tray, leading to a horrific accident when they passed it over and it spilt on him.

So not that the lid's come off. The whole thing is tipped over. The whole thing's tipped over. So they've passed it to him. It wasn't secured in properly. He's grabbed it. It's tipped on. Landed on his groin.

It has burnt him everywhere. Oh, my. Skin graft down there kind of territory. Passed it to him. It wasn't secured in properly. He's grabbed it. It's tipped on. Landed on his groin. It has burnt him everywhere. Oh, my. Skin graft down there kind of territory. So they've taken skin from his thigh to put back over his. I mean, the berries aren't particularly attractive, but I'd know if you got thigh skin where you're meant to have your bush turkey neck. It's going to be.

You know? Would it be smoother? Probably would be, actually. We've heard about scotox. It would probably be very good looking. It would probably be nicer, wouldn't it? No, but it wouldn't look as standard. Correct. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. So whilst it might be smoother, that's not what berries are meant to look like. They're meant to look like shriveled raisins. But a $50 million verdict, the jury handed out. Now, Starbucks isn't backing down. They're saying that this is an absolute disgrace. They disagree with the jury's decision. $50 million.

I mean, what do you reckon your berries are worth? $50 million? Yeah. This begs the question. Oh, it begs50 million. I mean, what do you reckon your berries are worth? $50 million? Yeah. This begs the question. Oh, it begs the question. I'd say so. Yeah. The berries in the Shaft of Delight, $50 million probably.

The precedent. If you can't use them though, $50 million, you know. That's very fair. If we've gone beyond just aesthetic damage. So you take mine, they're not usable as is. So it's kind of like. So your lawyer wouldn't have as great a leg to stand on. I'd be a good person for this to happen.

You know what I mean? It's kind of like, well. That would be, you know, in the law and order where they come in with the evidence waving, being like, I've cracked the case open. His nuts don't even work. They don't work. Okay, you can have $10 million. Come on.

You're not getting $50 like Michael Garcia. But begs the question, on 13, 10,10, $60, what happened to your berries? What happened to your walnuts? Walnuts. What happened to your clappers? Oh, here we go. What happened to your cojones? Oh, cojones.

I like cojones. Yeah. Because, you know, we'd love to know. And also, if you have a name for them, everyone's been hitting them a few times. It's always painful. I had a mate who got his twisted. Twisted is very painful. That seems.

That looks awful. Oh, it seems to be horrifically painful. Oh, this is a conversation for three ball Paul. Three berry Perry. Do we know a three berry Perry? Would love to find a three berry Perry. We do have a rescue called three ball Paul. We do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's because he has a third berry. Three would just be annoying. Two's enough, I admit. You've already got so much dangling down there. Oh, there's a bit on there. So much crammed in, you little tidy whities. Having a third would just be so cumbersome.

Horrific. But 13, 10, 60, like Michael Garcia and his $50 million lawsuit, what happened to your berries? What happened to your berries? Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What happened to your plums?

These nuts. What happened to your clappers? What happened to the berries? What happened to your plums? These nuts. What happened to your clappers? What happened to the berries? What happened to your baubles? What happened to your targets? Well, targets is a good one. Targets is a tough one. Because there's a story happening out of Starbucks in LA.

A man is suing them and he won $50 million because he got a piping hot massive venti-sized tea. He said they didn't secure it properly when the employee failed in the cup tray. It spilled all over him. It gave him skin graft. It's burnt his berries, and it's damaged him for life. That 16-year-old working in the drive-thru of Starbucks, he's going to have to leave the food industry forever now. He didn't realise.

He didn't realise. He didn't know they didn't put it in properly. Oh, my God. When you're handing someone a cup of tea, you think you got it? Great. You don't think, oh, topple over. When does it come, the other person's responsibility? You know what I mean? Did he let go of the tray?

Great question. And was it actually the other person's clumsy? And how hard to prove in court, because as you said, it went all the way to the court that they've awarded this. How do you prove it wasn't secured in the little cardboard tray correctly? Exactly. How can you prove that? Are there cameras?

It was the jury that's given it to him, so Starbucks are fighting it. But anyway, he's had third-degree skin graft burns or unbearable pain, permanent damage to the berries. So it begs a question on 131060, what happened to your berries? What happened to your berries? Or what do you call them? Dana said, my partner calls his genitals Frankenbeans. That's fantastic.

And his eye of the storm is a balloon dot or a mud button. Regards. Thank you, Dana. Oh, the regards really storm is a balloon dot or a mud button. Regards. Thank you, Dana. Oh, the regards really classed it up, Dana. Balloon dot is fantastic. I don't mind mud button. Mud button. Josh.

That's tomorrow. Let's do that tomorrow. What's, yeah. What do you call your butthole? Josh, good morning. Josh. Good morning. Josh, hey.

Hey. How are you? Yeah, great, babe. We're talking about berries. How could we be any better? Yeah. First question, what do you refer to your boys downstairs? You say berries.

I don't have a name. I haven't seen them for years. They're sitting on the top of the mantelpiece. You're happily married, Josh? Yeah, happily married. Yeah, happily married. Yeah, yeah. Give me your wife's number.

I'll text her. What do you call Josh's? Those guys are just... Oh, that's great. I imagine they're in a nice little velvet purse and they're just on display. What a power move. We'll go with that. So Josh, what happened to your berries?

I got kicked when I was in school and they twisted. Kicked by a friend? Yeah, actually by a friend. Yeah, stuffing around, you know how it is. And, yeah, the leg went a little too far and connected with the berries. And, yeah, it was all good until the next morning, and it was like 4 a.m. I woke up with extreme pain. And being a kid, that embarrassed.

You don't want to tell mom and that. And I was about ready to jump on the bus and got unbearable and went. Told mom. Mom took me to the hospital. And the doctors told me, lucky I did, because you've got a four-hour window before you're sterile. Oh, I was going to say, didn't have any long-term damage, but you got into it? That's a great lesson there. I never knew. I didn't know

until I had my daughter. It was about 15 years after, before I had my first daughter, that I actually was sterile because they turned around and said they weren't sure whether I was going to be able to have kids or not. Wow, that's huge. That's a great sure whether I was going to be able to have kids or not. Wow. That's huge. Well, that's a great lesson.

Whatever is going on, talk to someone about it. Show it to mum. Show it to Josh's mum. Doesn't matter how old you are. Hey, mum, look, look, look, my Johnson's are... Yeah, that works. Yeah. And now Josh's live on top of the mantelpiece, so it's a full circle.

It's a full... He doesn't need them anymore. She got the kids she wanted. We're done. We're done. Thank you, Josh. We'll go to Michelle. Michelle, you've got a nickname for, I'm presuming, your partner's berries.

Well, actually, not my partner's berries. It's now become a family joke. Oh, okay, your brother's berries? Wait, you call them rambutans. Rambutans? Do you know the fruit, the rambutans? I'm going to have to look up the rambutans. I don't know the rambutans. You have to. Oh look up the rambutan. I don't know the rambutan.

Oh, wow. That's fantastic. Oh, yes. I do know that fruit. I have seen it before. Is that an Indonesian? Where is that from? No, you can buy them in Australia.

Okay. They're spiking the outside. Native to Southeast Asia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rambutans. That's funny. That is funny. Because they're covered in like small hairs.

Because I used to work for a kitchen shop and we used to get plastic fruit into the kitchen shop. One day we had these rambutans come in and we were all killing ourselves laughing at how the rambutans look. And all of a sudden, fast forward a week, we're on the deck, and my friend's dad is sitting on the deck, and his shorts are short, and his ribs are hanging out. Oh, fantastic. Nothing's worse than seeing a friend's dad's berries. We love that age of men where they go,

just get the breeze on them. Just let it out. Nathan on 131060, what happened to your berries, mate? Hey, guys. How are you? Very good. Well, I actually nicknamed mine Sandbags. Sandbags is great.

It's too big. It sounds flat, the Sandbags. Yeah, there's a bit on. What happened to your Sandbags? There's a lot going on down there. And what happened to your sandbags? Yeah, I had the twist as well. Yes.

I was playing footy when I was a young fella and the knee went in the groin. The first time was all right. They got the untwist and that. And then I was playing tip with my wife at that time of the night. And, yeah, she tipped me. I could turn and they twisted again. Oh, re-twisted. A double twist.

Sorry, can we... Is tips a nickname? I'm presuming so. For the horizontal tango? I'm rolling with Nathan. Or were you just pushing each other over? I also picture them playing tiggy. Yeah, yeah.

Nathan tripping in cows? It was like murder in the dark. Oh, I love that. I love that. Love in the dark. Oh, no, they re-twisted. Oh, double twist. Oh, not the sandbags.

That's unlucky, Nathan. Careful. We just learnt four-hour window before you stare off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I hope you addressed it. Oh, that's unlucky. Wow. There you go.

$50 million. Let's award it to everyone. Jess and Ducko. And to you we say... Happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy Monday. Get your green nail polish out. Get it ready. Because it's Sane Patrick's Day. For this Monday. Get your green nail polish out. Get it ready.

Because it's St. Paddy's Day. Put a bit of green dye in your beer this afternoon. We had an Irish person in the studio. Happy St. Patrick's Day. We go above and beyond for, you know, national holidays and celebrations. Always. Shipped in an Irish person just for this morning. The budget's huge.

The budget is huge. Right now, Ducco, discovered something in my house that I initially clocked and went, I don't remember buying that because that feels like an impulsive, I'm going to say dumb purchase. And between my husband and I, that is definitely my domain. Yeah, that's what you do. But I've done very well in 2025. I told you I've been doing a no spend-ier.

Yes. Gave myself the handcuffs of not buying any new clothes or accessories or shoes. Still going strong? Going strong. Okay. Strong is not the right word, but I haven't broken. All right. So I am proud of myself, but I've wobbled.

I've wobbled. What's a wobble then? You're still buying stuff? No, like as in added to cart and then gone, don't do it. Oh, okay. Have some control and got out of it.

It's like an alcoholic grabbing the bottle out of the fridge but doesn't drink. And putting it back. Okay, that's right. Yeah, yeah. So the temptation's been there

and I've just got nine months to get through. Nice. I'm sure I'll make it. But no, my 16-month-old daughter is trying to learn how to jump.

She's just out of nowhere has been bending her knees and is seemingly trying to launch into the air. Don't know where she's got it from. We could have a high jumper on her hands. You never know. You never know. The fact we haven't encouraged this behavior and it's just spawned organically, she's going to be some sort of jumper.

But Angus went, oh, I know what we can get. Let me pull it out of the garage and pulled out a mini trampoline. Oh, like a little circular one? A little circular one. And my first thought, because why do we have this? You didn't know you owned it already. I genuinely was like, what dumb phase was I going through that I bought a mini trampoline? It does reek of you.

It's up there with juggling. It's up there with juggling. And you know, I'll put money where my mouth is for that. I bought the juggling and circus balls. What phase was I going through? I bought the freaking mini trampoline, like Fila brand. It's got the padding, all that. I did one class of tramp fit.

Are you familiar with tramp fit? Oh, man, yeah. God forbid anyone goes to a gym. Nah. Tramp fit. It'll get you fit. I went to like a rec center. That's how people do their knees.

Shut up. Babs, have you done tramp fit? Yeah, at a rec center. Oh, my God. And what happens in tramp fit, guys? Describe it, Babs. You like jump up and down while exercising. Wait, you're jumping up and down.

What do you mean? How can you jump up and down? No, no, that is the exercising. Are you holding weights? So everyone has their own mini tramp. So they say 18 to 20 lined up in rows. Almost like you're doing a step class or another fitness class. And these tramps are special because they've got handlebars.

So like a big pole coming up through. And you can hold on. I see. So you can hold for instability. And the idea is you bounce the hell out of this thing. That is an NCL waiting to happen. Or an ACL. Like that is just. I'm going to send you a video later. Please an NCL waiting to happen. Or an ACL. Like, that is just...

I'm going to send you a video later. Please do. The hectic nature. Yeah, yeah. Because they full put trance on and the high energy music. And the idea is get your knees up because the higher you're going, the more you're... Is that even burning many calories? I mean, I was puffed at the end.

I mean, you do Shibuya in your... It's Shabam. Shabam in your living room. Shibuya's the crossing in Tokyo. I knew I got it from somewhere. But yes, I love a gimmick. So I thought, I must have done Tramp Fit and then gone, I can do this at home. Maybe save myself some money, do my own Tramp classes with YouTube and never did.

And he went, no, no. I would pay to walk right into Jess's house and see her doing a tramp class on her own. Just in my living room. Bring it in. I can bring the tramp in. Bring in you and Babs. When I think of you and Babs, I think of real light on the feet. Like you two just tramping.

You two just going far. Hank has literally said to me before, why are you stomping down the house? You're going to wake the baby. I am not particularly soft-footed. But anyway, I went, I must have bought this and just obviously put it in the garage and never pulled it out again. What a waste, as per usual. And Angus looked at me kind of sheepishly and went, no, no, I bought that.

I went, what? Did you want to do tramp fitness? Why did you buy a mini trampoline well before Lucia was ever going to, you know, show this display of wanting to jump? He went, I read somewhere that starting your day with a bounce was good for your body. And I have never been more in love with him. Starting your day with a bounce is one of the lamest things I have ever heard.

I've never. Angus, how dare you? I've never. I thought my level of love for him peaked when he saved my daughter from the seizure. Nope. This is it. I'd found another depth of love. Starting your day with a bounce.

The fact he's read that somewhere and then actually put money and bought a trampoline. How many goes did he give it before he went? My exact question because we get up at 4.30, we're gone in the morning. I've never seen him start his day with a bounce. He's never shared that before. We've had this thing in the garage for two years. And he went, yeah, I did a couple of times, but it hurt my brain.

Was he shaking in his head? I think his brain was like, well, he's not tramp fit. So the act of jumping was wigging him out. He's also got a bad back. I don't imagine he'd be fantastic for it. I can't imagine. And, you know, it's not particularly springy. No, it's a little one.

So you're not actually getting a lot. You've got to put a bit of revs into that thing. You do. Can you please bring it in tomorrow? I'll bring it. And then this time tomorrow, you and Babs can give us your best tramp. Start your it's a little one. So you're not actually getting a lot. You've got to put a bit of revs into that thing. You do. Can you please bring it in tomorrow? I'll bring it. And then this time tomorrow, you and Babs can give us your best

training. Start your day with a bounce. In fact, we'll all start our day with a bounce tomorrow. Should we? That's how we'll...

I'll put it right at the door. Yeah, we'll bounce in. And to enter the studio, you have to bounce in. We'll bounce in. So he gets injured first. Jess and Daco.

There's been a new study, Jess, that has revealed men and women whose name are most attractive, like the letter they start with, and women's whose name are most attractive, like the letter they start with, the names of people they find most attractive. I do like all these psychological hacks. Yes.

On what we gravitate towards and what makes us go, yeah, you are hot. Yeah. Can't put my finger on it, but you are hot. So there's two letters for women and two letters for men. The sexiest letters. But they start with that. Their name's usually attractive. So they did this on a dating app, finding the one.

They surveyed 3,000 people. Good sample size. Pretty good. To basically find out the names of the three hottest people they'd ever known in real life, including people they'd ever dated, could be worked with. Maybe they didn't date them. They were friends with them. Oh.

They'd swiped or, you know. Yes. Or they'd seen them before. So for women, they found the men with the names beginning with D or T as the most attractive. So your Derricks and your Dales and your Darrens and then your Trents and your Toms. Let's reverse pass to the D though. Yeah. Duckos.

And your Duckos. Thank you so much. What is it about the D and the T? Yeah, thank you so much. What is it about the D? The D. And the T. Yeah, because you've got like. Because no offence to my Dales and my Darrens. They're not attractive.

Or Donald Trump or Daniel Radcliffe. Your Donalds. I mean, they're not doing it for. Because for me, more than letters, it's associations. Totally. Do you know what I mean? One of the hottest blokes I ever saw in real life. Yeah.

When I used to work in duty free at the airport. Oh, yeah, yeah. We were making eyes at each other for weeks. And he worked at the airport? He worked. He was maintenance. Oh, yeah. And I was selling liquor.

And we'd always just give each other the eyes. Eventually, he got up the courage to come over and introduce himself, Dwayne. And I'll tell you what, my boner died straight away. That's all the Dwaynes this morning. Good morning to Dwayne. But Dwayne isn't a monable name, is it? It's, yeah. It's no Diego.

Oh, yeah. See, Diego's a hottie. He's doing it for us. But there's so many D and T names. Not all of them are hot. Well, I know. This is just the survey done. But for women.

Okay, reverse. Okay, so men found this most attractive women. Names starting with M and J. Shut up, J. Swear to God, yeah. Like every second chick is named Jess. Well, I guess, yeah, that's probably why, though. There's a lot of Jesses out there.

Power in numbers. Power in numbers. Hello, Marjorie. Yeah. Hello, I mean, Marilyn is a sexy name. Even Margo, I don't. Margo. I mean, again, Margo Robbie, one of the most beautiful women on the planet, but is the

name doing it for you? Yeah, I don't know. But anyway, look, we're both in it. We are both in it. Margot I mean again Margot Robbie one of the most beautiful women on the planet but is the name doing it for you yeah I don't know but anyway look we're both in it we are both in it so why am I poking holes in it let's not

you know sexy ass lettuce I didn't see S in there for shy guy that's upsetting yeah I thought really or even L for Luke just to peel back the curtain

yeah but shit daddy oh wait no S isn't in it no we've just covered S no we've just covered S. I appreciate you helping me, but no.

There's no link to D or T for you. Me and Babs are out of the race. Oh, sorry. The least sexy names began with K and G. K and G? For guys, and for girls, it was L or R. So, isn't it? Yeah.

Okay. Well, maybe, you know, you've got a small lady entering your life very soon, your daughter. Will you take any of this information into consideration? Will I take the sexiest names for my daughter? We've got to name her something starting with M because it's sexy. Honey, honey, sexy. I've got to name her Margo. No.

Jess and Ducko. Biddy biddy bang bang. Biddy bang bang. Biddy biddy bang bangdy Biddy Bang Bang. Shy Guy's going to give us a topic, and Ducko and I are going to try and outbid each other on who can name the most things within that topic. We did play this at our lunch with the rice cookers we had on Friday, and can I just say, lots of confusion. Lots of confusion, because I don't know about you Duggo, but any sort of auction or bidding

scenario, I thought the rules were pretty standard. If I lay one bid, the only way for you to get involved is to outbid. I've got to go up. Not underbid. Not underbid. So we had to clarify a lot. And not just yell out the things in the topic. That three is not more than five and you cannot lay claim to that.

And then weren't happy with Shy Guy's topics that he was giving. No one's ever happy with the topics. I know. Well, when Babs and I played with the rice cookers, they were pretty happy with the topics. I heard that went down very well. Pretty broad. To be fair to Shy Guy, one of the topics he did offer up at the lunch

was Simpsons characters. There's a few. We were only able to name about four, I believe, which was all the Simpsons family minus Maggie. You gave us the fun fact, 457. I love it. You gave us the fact while they were still playing the game. Just want to point out there's 457 characters.

To be fair, the game was over very fast. It was fast. But that's okay. It's now you v. me. Yes, let's go. We'd love to bring some rice cookers in. We'll look to doing that in the future. But for today, you and me, Ben.

1v1. First category, music genres. Oh, genres. Genres of music. I don't think there's that many. Well, the thing is, there is, but you wouldn't know them. You know how Spotify releases your yearly rap? You're so right.

You're into indie folk punk. You're so right. I had like grandma surf rock. Yeah, yeah. What is that? I feel insulted by that. Yeah. You are right, but in 20 seconds as well.

Five. Seven. Eight. Nine. Okay, I'll see you. No, no, do ten. No, you go nine. You go nine.

Good luck. Rock, pop, screamo, metallic thing. Afro jazz, Broadway, R&B, hip hop, rap, and show tunes. She said Grandmaster of Rock. You're the adjudicator. You said Broadway. I did. He said Broadway 2 is the same.

It's definitely the same thing. I don't think I can count it. So take the point, Ducker. Yeah. You need to name one I didn't name. Punk Rock. Damn it. It's always so weird.

I've never had that. That's never happened to me where you've not got it and I've had the one. Damn it. How fun is it sitting on the one? It's so fun. And don't you just like have your breath and your heart rate's not too high? I don't think you did a good job. I was like, no.

Damn. Yeah, that's a tough one. I nearly forgot R&B. That would have been embarrassing. R&B Fridays. Next category. Yes. Chips.

Like flavors? Yeah, clarify. Chip flavors. Ooh. Chip flavors. Chip flavors. Oh, he's the chip boy. Yeah.

I'm going to say eight. Oh, he's the chip boy. Yeah. I'm going to say eight. Oh, God. I guess ten, but hmm, yeah. All right, go. I was going to say 11. I'm a bit of a bread. I was like, ah! What did you say?

Ten. Ten. In 20 seconds, babe. Okay. Salt and vinegar, sea salt, balsamic salt and vinegar, a honey soy chicken, lemon and black pepper, light and tangy, cheddar, cheese, triple cheese. Oh, peaking duck.

What was that one I had from Red Rock Chili? Oh, damn. Was that nine? That was nine. What did I say? You didn't say. Oh, the. Was that nine? That was nine. What did I say? You didn't say. Oh, the red one. Sweet chili sour cream.

Yes. Yes. I was trying to think of all the red broke deli. You know what? We didn't eat the chicken. We could have said chicken. Oh, chicken flavor. My goodness.

Damn. Okay. So it comes down to this. Here we go. Can't write this stuff, Babs. In fact, it is. Should we? Let's hear it from Babs because it's St. Patty's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Thank you, Babs. Thank you. Just to remind us all write this stuff, Babs. In fact, it is. Let's hear it from Babs because it's St. Paddy's Day.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Thank you, Babs. Thank you. Just to remind us all. Thank you, Babs. Social media platforms. Oh. There's only so many.

How many are there? It's like four. I'll say five. Yeah. I mean, there's ones overseas, but I don't know what they're called. And social media. I mean. You want to do any more?

I don't know. The bid stands at five. I reckon I could do six. You're going to have to prove that. Okay. Okay. The issue is, could I do? Anyway, let's get to you first.

Okay. Six social media platforms in 20 seconds. Go. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Weibo. Oh, you're done. Weibo has got you. Weibo got you. Weibo, we spoke about that on the show.

We did. The Chinese platform. What were some other ones? We chat. Oh, yeah. Oh, sna The Chinese platform. What were some other ones? We did WeChat. Oh, yeah. Oh, Snappy Chatty. Oh, Snapchat. Snapchat.

Damn it. I didn't even say TikTok. Yeah, there's a few. But I said LinkedIn. Oh, we definitely should have done more. Jess and Daco. Friday, we had a beautiful long lunch all at Martha Drinking Dine. Thanks to the rice cookers who came out.

Also, thank you to Wedfest Events, Hunter's ultimate wedding and event style and hire specialists. It looks great. It was great. The people were great. The people were great. And I just wanted to stop down just for 60 seconds and give a shout out to one of the attendees, Ducko.

Yeah. Because, you know, we do this job and it's so nice to have FaceTime every now and then because otherwise it's just you and I looking at each other. Of course, Shy Guy and Babs, but it's really nice to actually have quality, quality time. Yes. And the love I was feeling just made me, I was buoyant. I was just flying high all weekend. Buoyant?

What am I trying to say? I was floating on air. I was buoyant. Yeah, buoyant, yeah. Just floating on air with the love I was feeling from every single person in the room, but specifically one. The care that this woman showed me. Now, you know, we had the amazing Croc playing some tunes. He got the dance floor going.

And I'm there busting a move, this and that. And I get a tap on the shoulder. And I won't say her name. She might not want me to share that. But she went, Jess, I'm so sorry. I might just bring the vibe down for a second. And I thought, oh, gosh, do you need to get on the mic? Has something happened?

Oh, my God. And you go into a bit of a panic mode. I went, okay, what's happened? We go off into a corner and she went, have you had your skin checked? She'd been watching me on the dance floor. Yeah, she'd been watching me on the dance floor. I was wearing a strapless number. And she herself had been a skin cancer survivor.

She actually, this was one of her first times out with a girlfriend, and they were celebrating, and she's in the clear now. But she really wanted to just, she went, I'm so sorry, I can tell you're having a great time, but I just, I had to say something because I know what I've been through, and I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't shared anything. She saw a mole on you that she thought was suspicious. She sort of was looking at my chest and she saw something

and she went, have you had one? I went, you're not going to believe it. Literally went just the other week. I am up to date. And she went, okay, sorry, go back to the dance floor. Sorry to have brought the mood down and all. I went, babe, the fact that you were comfortable enough to say that to me, but the care and love that you're showing, I thought that was amazing.

So just our community is just incredible. Incredible. Meanwhile, the duck man was copping. Ah, when are you going to get rid of that mustache? You're actually not as small as you say you are. The mustache is starting to get you. Stop licking it. Okay, we had different experiences of the love.

Yeah, come on. I was just like, oh, the support and the care this woman is showing, and you're just copping crap for the moment. Okay, we had different lunches. Light and shade. Light and shade. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on Hit.

Oh, yeah. Jazz and Luffy on Monday. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to pick first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back if there's time. It is that easy to win $10,000.

So today, we go to Lindsay. Hello, Lindsay. Hi, how are you? Lindsay, we couldn't be better. It's a Monday and we have the opportunity to change your year, your life. Oh, yeah. What do you want to spend $10,000 on? I think I'm going to hopefully put it towards a new car, but that could change when it actually becomes reality.

Yeah, you could get the money and just go stuff it. Let's go to the casino. We'll see what happens. Shopping spree. Yeah. Maybe a nice holiday. Oh, yeah. Yeah, maybe some new running shoes. Who knows We'll see what happens. Shopping spree. Yeah. Maybe a nice holiday. Oh, yeah. Maybe some new running shoes.

Who knows? They are expensive nowadays. I mean. They are. They are. Aim for the sky, Lindsay. Let's go. Hopefully a raffle.

Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. The letter you're going to work with, it's F. F for Fiji, which might be a nice destination once you win $10,000. The Nike Flyknit was with an F. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's a running destination once you win $10,000. Or the Nike Flyknit. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's a running shoe for you, Lindsay. I've heard I have to run a bit faster before I can run in those.

You do need to run quick. Yeah, they are. Yeah. Are they not a friend of the slow runner? No, they're like round on the bottom so it's sort of like, yeah, it's a tough carry. Well, we'll work up to that, Lindsay. We'll get there. Keep that in the back of your mind.

Maybe I'll pay for a coach and then we'll get the joggers. Okay. I like that. There we go. Are you taking this journey seriously? I'd love to see Lindsay. We will. Keep that in the back of your mind. Maybe I'll pay for a coach and then we'll get the job. Okay. I like that. There we go. Are you taking this journey seriously? I'd love to see it. We are. Are you ready to rip the band-aid off?

I am. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter F. We need you to name an animal. Frog. A mode of transport. Fairy.

A verb. A verb? Mm-hmm. A verb. A verb, what's a verb? Pass. Ferrari. Pass. Fudge. Pass. Pass.

A hobby. Pass. A dog breed. French bulldog. We're in. Yeah. Honorary. Honorary.

Well after the buzzer. Much easier to play when you're listening rather than on the phone. Yes. We've heard that a few times. Everyone says that. It is tough. Look, you got four. A verb.

A verb. It could have been fall, fail, flap. That's the doing word. It's the doing word. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I was going adjective. Yep. Adjective.

Tougher. Verb. Easier. A movie could have been, Jess quotes it all the time, Finding Nemo. I've quoted it this morning already. Yes. That's where we met the cleaner shrimp. Ah, so true.

The clothing item could have been a fedora or a face mask, I guess. It's not really clothing. Oh, it's giving COVID times. Yeah, yeah. A hobby could have been fishing, and then the dog breed you got was after the buzzer. Look, Lindsay, you don't get the cash, but you do get $100 cash. How's that? Awesome.

I'll take it. Thank you. That's not bad. May as well. Just a few zeros less. Enjoy your day, Lindsay. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. it. Thank you. That's not bad. Might as well. Just a few zeros less. Enjoy your day, Lindsay. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

Bye. Jess and Ducco. When was it just not your day is what we're asking. Of course, the Aussie Grand Prix was on yesterday. Oscar Piastri as well. Heartbreak. He was probably going to be the first Aussie to place in that thing in a long time. He was looking good, baby.

And we were just discussing off air, in my opinion, the greatest racing name that we've seen in a while. Piastri. Piastri. He just sounds fast, but he also feels like and seems like such a down-to-earth, nice, young Aussie boy. Seems so nice, hey? And Melbourne is his hometown. I know.

He was feeling good. Has there ever been a Melbourne, an Australian Grand Prix winner from Australia or even places? I'm actually not sure. They were saying this out yesterday. I was watching you in no sound. He had like eight laps to go when he spun out. And I literally said to my friend beforehand,

oh, he's definitely getting a place. He can't lose it from here. And it was just classic Melbourne, wasn't it? Because the Friday, Saturday down in Melbourne, I was watching all the influences and my husband's big F1. So he's watching the footage. Looked like a superb day. Weather and conditions were stunning. Husband's big F1, so he's watching the footage. Looked like a superb day. Yeah, hot.

Weather and conditions were stunning. Come actual race day on Sunday, torrential. And there was hail, too. There was a bit of hail and a torrential rain. Classic Melbourne Four Seasons in one day. Vintage. So, anyway, Oscar Piastri, heartbreak. That is tough.

He'll be back. He's a great driver. But that's not who we're focusing on because there was a rookie who didn't even get to race. Isaac Hadja. He's in Red Bull's feeder team racing bull, the car. Now, they do a formation lap before they actually race. They all get in formation of the start grid, and they all go around the track slower. Is it just sort of a get a feel, warm up? Warm the engine up, warm the tires up, get it all sort of ready and going.

In the formation lap, Isaac has spun out because it is that wet. He has spun out, crashed his car. It's not drivable, so it's delayed the race time by about half an hour, 40 minutes. He's not allowed to race in his first ever F1. As in because his car was totaled? His car was totaled before the race even begun. We have audio.

This is his headset when they crossed to the headset. This is his headset when he found out he'd just done it, he's come to, and the car's crashed. And here is Hajar. No! No! No! I destroyed the car! No!

Well, you heard it from him first. I've destroyed the car and not sounding happy, and you can just see the emotion. Oh. That breaks my heart. Is he really young? Sounds young, yeah. He sounds so young. I mean, 13, 10, 60, when was it just not your day?

It doesn't get much worse than crashing out in a formation lap. The guy I was watching, as I said, just sort of ducking in and out of Angus watching it, Lewis Hamilton's dad gave a hug to. Yeah, as he was walking off. And it was like his hero's dad was the one to consult. I'm like, where's his parents? I understand he's like French. Maybe his parents weren't there.

I don't know where they were. But like someone else's dad had to give him a hug. Nice of Lewis's dad. Very nice. But that is absolute. Like it doesn't get much more unlucky than that. That is not your day, Dale. That's a horrible day.

That's a horrible day. Your first ever F1, you get the call up into it, and you crash in the lap before the race begins. Oh, and I know no one's probably thinking he's going to bloody win it, but at least we'll finish it. Or get into the race and start it. And how nervous we'd be now for the next race coming up. Oh, absolutely.

God forbid there's a pitter-patter of rain. It's going to be a repeat of Melbourne. But it's an unlucky day. It's an unlucky day. And sometimes, Jess, we have these. Sometimes. We're only human. That's all it is.

And sometimes, you know, maybe he'd, you know, stepped on a crack, walked under a ladder. You know, sometimes karma, superstition. Who knows? When it rains, it pours. When it rains, it pours. In Melbourne, especially. Absolutely. So 13, 10, 60, when was it just not your day?

Not your day. A bit of unluck. Jess and Daco. Jess and Daco. When was it just not your day? That's right. We are talking about the Melbourne Grand Prix happened over the weekend. By all accounts, an incredible turnout.

Yeah, yeah. Vibes very high. But wet. It was wet on race day. Beautiful Friday, Saturday, and in classic Melbourne fashion, it went, all right, you've had two days of sun, now I'm going to storm. Yeah, rain. Very, very wet for the drivers who are going upwards of 300km an hour.

Like rookie Isaac Hadjou, who races for Racing Bull, Red Bull's sort of feeder club, and he had a spin out. The problem was it was before the race began in the formation lap. It was his first ever Grand Prix. Just found out he'd never raced in the rain before or practiced in the rain. Yeah. He spun out. Surely in your training, you slick up a road.

Oh, yeah. You practice in the rain. It does feel like an oversight. It does feel like an oversight. Particularly when you look at, okay, what country, city am I racing in? Melbourne. Could be wet. Let's look up what's going on in Melbourne.

Even when you get your Ls. You've got to do night driving. You've got to do rain driving. Maybe he didn't fill out that logbook. He lied about the logbook. He didn't do the F1 logbook. This is why you can't lie about your logbook, guys. You've got to actually put in the work.

This is the audio when someone doesn't do their logbook. And here is Haja. No! No! No! I destroyed the car! You'll do that. He destroyed the car.

Congrats to Lando, though. Yeah, Lando Norris. Another great racing name, Lando. Lando. But we want to know, when was it just not your day? We've got a great Call of Fame prize up for grabs every single morning. Oh, yeah. Let's go to Annie.

Good morning. Morning. You had an incident at work, Del. Yeah. I used to work in a bistro. I'm sorry, Annie. We've now had an incident with your phone line. Your phone is bad.

I'm going to put you back on a pad so we'll come back to you just because it's breaking up. We'll see if we can solve that. We'll come back to you. We go to Mia instead on 131060. Hello, Mia. Hey, how are you going? Excellent, Mia. When was it just not your day?

You've done an Isaac Hadjar. I was out at the river on the weekend and we were just in the boat fishing, going back to camp. And the boys just being the boys, driving the boat, talking, having a few beers. And next minute, a stick came actually up the back of my head and took hair out of my scalp. Sorry, a stick? Wait, what do you mean?

A stick came flying at you? As in like they drove under a tree or? Like a branch that was like sticking out of the river. Oh my God. Are you okay? Yeah, it was a very instant headache. Yeah, I bet it was. Just a smack.

Lucky it didn't like, you know, with the wind going, if it wrapped around, could have bloody ripped a whole chunk of your hair out. I looked up and then there was just this hair hanging off this stick and I was like, oh, my goodness. Oh. And then all I wanted to do was go to the pub, but my card got suspended. Okay, this is not your day. It was.

So your card had been suspended so you couldn't even drive home. The falcon has noticed scam activities. Let's just lock the car. The falcon's done. Mia's hair's left on the stick halfway up the river. Can't even drown her sorrows in a nice vodka soda. Oh, Mia. Mia.

That sucks. That's unlucky, so I thought it was more. Annie on 131060, we're coming back to you. Sound better now. Good morning. Yes, yes. Can you hear me okay better now. Good morning. Yes, yes. Can you hear me okay? Yes.

Yep, for now. What happened at work? So, yeah, working in a bistro, very busy night, chucking schnitzels in the deep fryer. I chucked it in. The oil splashed up on my face. All over your face. All over my face.

So that hurt so much I spun around in a circle and fell on the ground on my knees. And then my boss came over and grabbed me off the floor and said, are you okay? And I said, yeah. And he said, you've got to run water over that. So we ran over to the sink and he tucked my head under there and flipped it on and it was boiling hot water. In the face!

Annie! Oh, no. Jesus. How bad was the burning on the face? Oh, no. How bad was the burning on the face? Well, it probably was because I kept trying to pull away, and he's like, no, hold it. Hold it under the water, right under there. Oh, my God.

Did he not realize it was boiling? Oh, no. Oh, Annie, that's horrible. That is not your day at all. Matt, you told us earlier on the show, Ducko, about a bloke who was sued Starbucks because they spilt a tea on his berries, $50 million. What's Annie getting? That's her face.

Yeah, that's her face. The boss is going to court. My God. Christy, good morning. Hi, guys. When was it just not your day? Well, about 12 months ago. We have two cars, a family car and then a runaround car.

That morning I was coming home, ran up the back of someone, wasn't much damage to the car, still could drive it. Got home, went to go out again. My son had left his back door open a little bit. So as I reversed, it just hit our other car and completely bent right into the passenger side door. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

So then I went to use the other car because that one was not drivable. And as I reversed out, I ran into a boat in our own driveway. Sorry, did you say your goat? Boat. Oh, boat. Goat would have been funnier. I was going to say a goat's probably going to take your bumper off. A rogue goat.

Oh, then you ran into the boat. Christy. All right. Someone's getting their license revoked. No more behind the wheel time for Christy. Oh, that is just one of those days. Can you imagine calling your partner being like, so I already totaled one and I've now totaled the other.

The first one wasn't my fault, okay? Elise, wrap us up here on 13, 10, 60. When was it just not your day? So after waiting 10 years to get engaged, my partner popped the question in Fiji just before we returned home. And, you know, probably about half hour after becoming engaged, I caught a belly bug. So I had gastro for the next two days.

Beautiful. What a great omen to, like, kick off your engaged life. Yeah, yuck. That is not your day. Does that mean you were ill on the plane home, Elise? It was terrible, especially one of our kids was sick as well. Ah, nothing like them making the kids sick. That's not what you want.

That's not what you want. The whole family's got spitty bum. It is not ideal. See, let's send this to Isaac in the F1. Yeah, yeah, see? A lot of us have experienced. We've all copped it. We've all copped it.

Jess and Ducko. Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco homes. Ducko's Baby Registry. Yeah, I'm good at a few things, Jess, but obviously buying baby things, not so good at just yet. No, your wife said, hey, let's put a baby registry together, compile some things. Now, maybe she wasn't explicit enough.

A baby registry is to help you guys with baby-related stuff. She's probably thinking swaddles. She might be thinking a year's worth of nappies. She might be thinking breast pumps and nipple shields. Yeah, I know. I've got plenty of nipple shields, but I had those. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, there they are. And, you know, you had your baby shower with friends and family.

Yep. You guys were feeling well-equipped. So when Morgan went through the list and we all had a look, we're like, what's this stuff you've put on? You know what? How about we take it off you guys and give it to the people who deserve it the most, our wonderful rice cookers, our wonderful listeners.

The best. That's all thanks to Baxco Homes as well. Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco Homes. And the first thing on the item that we had a look at, we went, let's start strong. Yep. $1,000 to spend at Woolworths. How good is that? Now, it's not to say you and Morgan couldn't have used that, but very generous.

If we were going to take, you know, the PlayStation off the list. Yeah, well, that's still on there. It all stands to reason we take everything else off the list. Exactly. So we kept it on. Yeah. $1,310.60 when you was at cue to call. We're doing that all week as well, listening for the crying baby in your cue.

You heard the crying baby just then. But someone who was very quick on the phone lines was Kimberly. Hello, Kimberly. Hello. Hello. How are you going? Kimberly, not as good as you, babe. You've got $1,000 to spend at Woolworths.

Oh, my God. Thank you. That is amazing for my family and me. Tell us a little bit about your family. So I have six kids under 14. Oh, wow. That is busy. That is busy.

So your oldest is 14. How old is your youngest? He's four. Four to 14. Jeez, okay. And what are we talking? If you normally go to Woolies or Coles grocery shopping, how much does it normally cost? 14. Jeez, okay. And what are we talking? If you normally go to Woolies or Coles grocery shopping,

how much does it normally cost? About $400 a week. Jeez. $400 a week. You must be an absolute master at meal prepping, at thinking about, all right, what can I stretch to feed six people, six kids, you know, let alone yourself and partner maybe, you know. That must have the mental load on you. It must be gigantic.

I know, yeah, you've got a meal plan and, yeah, it's stressful, but, yeah, it's good. Well, hopefully we can take a little bit of stress off your plans. It's at least two and a half weeks of shopping done. You've got that $1,000 spent at Woolies. It is all yours. Congratulations. Wow, I'm speechless.

Thank you so much. Kimberley, before we let you go, obviously you're a master in the parenting space. What's your number one piece of advice for the duck man, you know, expecting a baby in less than a month? Do you have any words of wisdom? Get some sleep in now. Before she can't rest. What's at that point now, Kimberley, where my wife, she's very strong.

She's trying to sleep a lot bigger. She's uncomfortable. Last night, like, he was just rolling and huffing, and I'm like, I couldn't sleep with that. It sounds like Morgan is already preparing, Ducko, for the sleepless nights that the baby will now provide. Get some sleep now. Well, thanks, Kim.

Enjoy the grocery voucher. Everyone's like, join us. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. All the joy and the love outweighs the challenges. Oh, yeah. But no, thanks for joining the show, Kimberley. How exciting. We've got some more. Yeah, tomorrow. What's tomorrow? Great prizes. Can we announce it today?

Yeah, we'll tell you at the end of the show. Stick with it. He's teasing. He's teasing because we didn't have it in front of us. Up next, though, I need to tell you about something that my – you always bring your PT gear, Jess. That's right. That's right. Well, my coach, he said something to me, which I need to run by the team.

We're going into Ducko's gym. You're usually very private about yours. Yeah, very private. Well, this is just one thing he said to me about the gym right now. Okay. One thing I've noticed about a patch of life I'm in, which I need to run by the team. Okay.

Jess and Ducko. I'm trying to do as much as I'm in, which I need to run by the team. Okay. Jess and Daco. I'm trying to do as much as I can, but not just, like, drinking or whatever. Like, I'm trying to play as many 18-hole rounds of competition as golf I can, just because I know I want to have time. At the gym, I'm now trying to lift more weight and do more. Okay. And, like, I'm getting stronger in the gym. Because you know you're not going to get full night's sleep,

which means that your body's going to suffer, even just the mental fortitude to go, I will find time for the gym. Yeah, probably will disappear. Oh, no, I'll find it. Okay. I work out. But my coach, too, he said to me, he goes, you know why you're lifting more weight right now?

He's like, you know why you're getting stronger? I said, why? He goes, dad's strength. What's dad's strength? Oh, dad's strength. It's like, you know how dads all have good calves? And it's like, you become a dad, you have a good calf. Like, dads just, they get that dad strength.

You might have that beer gut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But those calves are popping. And you can still do it. You can lift heavy boxes and you have that good dad strength. He said, you've got dad strength. And I said, I'm not a dad yet. He goes, no, but you are in the absolute sweet spot of your life where you are about to have a child.

Child is not here yet. You're expecting, but you've still got the energy of someone without a kid and you've got the dad strength brewing away. And I said, so what you're saying is right now at 33 years of age, I'm in the absolute peak of my life. He said, this is it. And you're on the clock. Exactly. As we just established. I know. One month is going to tick by very fast and then forget about it. Forget about it. It's gone. It's all out the window.

I know. I know. So I'm like, he said that. I go, that is the best thing. That's actually quite depressing. It really is. This is the best thing I've ever heard. The joy that's coming though.

The joy. I'm living in this month though, Jess. I'm a four weeks of absolute death stream. You're playing 18 rounds of competition golf. You're going to lunches. You're having last, last, last, last, last, last, last hurrahs. Yeah. Because once that kid comes, you're going to have to enact that dad strength.

But the ability to continue honing the dad strength is going to change. That bundle of joy might come out at maybe three kilo. That's going to be nothing to you. Oh, we hold nothing easy. And slowly you'll build because as she gets bigger, you then, because you know me, I'm not a particularly strong person, but your ability to just do what you need to do for your child. But forget about bench press and whatever you're doing now

or deadlift and whatever you're doing now. It's just going to be whatever the kid is. I just found it really cool. I was like, he's right. I'm in the perfect sweet spot. Life is all downhill from this moment on. But the love, the love. The love will outweigh any of that.

The love, the love. Jess and Daco. How good is this? A call of fame every single day. Just for getting involved in the show, you could walk away with an unbelievable Newcastle Food Month experience. It includes a foodie sleepover at the beautiful Crystal Brook Kingsley Hotel.

Yep. And $500 cash, so you can really take advantage of one of the amazing events or plate dates that is happening across the month of April. Had some doozies, of course, on today. The rice cookers were cooking for a Monday. I think it's because the whole team was back, you know. Feels good. It felt good. Felt good to have us all here. It feels powerful. Oh, very today. The Rice Cookers were cooking for a Monday. I think it's because the whole team was back, you know. Feels good. It felt good.

Felt good to have us all here. It feels powerful. Oh, very powerful. Don't you think? And on 131060, at 6.40 this morning, we asked, what happened to your berries? That's right. That's right. It's an important conversation to have.

Important conversation. It was a man who had third-degree burns and skin grafts down there in his berries after a Starbucks employee accidentally spilled the coffee. They sued them. They won $50 million, which begs the question from us, what happens to your berries? And Josh gave us this. What do you refer to your boys downstairs?

I don't have a name. I haven't seen them for years. They're sitting on the top of the mantelpiece. So, Josh, what happened to your berries? I got kicked when I was in school, and they twisted. Kicked by a friend? Yeah, actually by a friend. Yeah, stuffing around, you know how it is.

And they, yeah, the leg went a little too far and connected with the berries and yeah, it was all good until the next morning and it was like 4am, I woke up with extreme pain and I was that, being a kid, that embarrassed. You don't want to tell mom and that.

And I was about ready to jump on the bus and got unbearable and went. Told mom. Mom took me to the hospital. And the doctors told me, lucky I did, because you've got a four-hour window before you're sterile. Oh, I was going to say, didn't have any long-term damage, but you got into it. Okay. That's a great lesson there.

I never knew. As we said, great lesson. Always tell mum. Always tell mum. Because you just don't know about the long-serving effects. It's better to have mum check it for embarrassment

rather than issues. Twisted scallops. Oh, twisted scallops. It'd be the worst. But Josh, you've won it, mate. You. You. That's awesome.

Thanks, Josh. Tell your wife to get that little bag of balls on the mantelpiece. Yeah, come on to Newcastle. I'll bag them in the suitcase. Pack them in the suitcase. Get them down. Pull the dust off. Yep, get some usage out of them.

Yep. Surely. She'll be happy with you, mate. It's going to be fantastic. It's a great prize. Legend. Thanks for getting involved in the show, Joshy. No worries.

We've got more of those. Yeah, every day we've got that. It's a crazy week because we're doing that every single day. You can win that prize. Plus, as we've mentioned a few times today, my baby gift registry. New prize every day. That's right. You put a bunch of random stuff and Morgan went, we don't need this.

What are we giving away tomorrow? What are we pulling off his registry? Shy Guy. Yes, please. Wait, wait. I'll get a drum roll. Let's really build this up. Shy Guy. Yes, please. Wait, wait, I'll get a drum roll. Let's really build this up. Shy Guy.

Tomorrow. We are giving away a Breville Barista Express manual coffee machine. Wow! Worth? About 700 bucks. Damn! So you're telling me I tune in from 6am, I listen out for the crying baby, call 131060, I could walk away with the Breville Barista manual coffee machine worth $700.

That's awesome. From 6am team today, it went off at about 8.30, that's not to say it will happen at that time tomorrow. No, it could be any time. Could be any time. Could be in the middle of a song, yeah. I love chucking in a little song. You never know, be listening.

You could be enjoying a little bit of Liar by Jelly Roll. Hang on a minute, was that a crying baby? I best be calling. It little salt. You never know. Be listening. You could be enjoying a little bit of Liar by Jelly Roll. Hang on a minute. Was that a crying baby? I best be calling. It can come at you any time. If you like a bloody macchiato and you want to make it at home, you get involved in the show. Do it.

Now, team, how are we all feeling? First Monday back. I'm exhausted. I was going to say, how's that fatigue? Because you had that soft tissue injury. We're easing you back into it. That's right. Full match.

I'm exhausted. I just said to you, hey, I'm going to have to take off pretty soon after the show. That's just to have a lie down. I don't actually have anything on. You're just tired. I just need to put my feet up. I can hear the cough coming on more, so we need to get you in. I know.

I haven't maintained hydration well enough today. Yeah, you and the shy boy. I'll work on that. I've done all right. How's your giant bottle going? I've done okay today. You're less than half. We're in this part of the...

It's weird seeing Shark Eye drink water. Like, it just is. I always have had a water bottle here. Yeah, but we've never seen you have a sip from it. I do drink from it. It's like you nibble toast. That's all I see. Yeah.

Nibble a quarter of some toast. He was doing some Vegemite toast today. I had Vegemite today. It's different. Hey, how do we go... Salt, I don't know. How do we... Really?

How do we go at the lunch with the salmon? Did you eat the salmon? I had the salmon. It was good. It was a really nice salmon. No, because I was eating Shagai and Babs for a bit there, and Babs was like, oh, I don't eat salmon. Oh. Do you not eat seafood? I had the salmon. It was good. It was a really nice salmon. No, because I was eating shotgun babs for a bit there and babs was like, oh, I don't eat salmon.

Oh. Do you not eat seafood in general? No, I hate seafood. Yeah, me too. How good was the lamb shoulder? Oh, damn. With a little pomegranate. The food was delicious.

The food was very yummy. But yeah, geez, delicious stuff. If you missed that video, we have a wonderful recap. Thanks to our friends at Newey Digital. They are incredible at what they do.

Check it out, Jess and Ducko on socials. And I'm already planning the next one. Yeah, we can't wait. We'll do a big one too. We'll see how we go with that. Let's see how we go. Maybe we do a bit of they are wetting the baby's head for the duck man once you return from paternity leave. Last, last, last, last, last

hurrah. Well, it's almost like first hurrah. Oh, I like that. As a daddy. First hurrah. First hurrah. It's not a first hurrah party. I reckon we reset. Yeah. Now we start the new hurrah. It's a great idea. New hurrah. I'm in. I remember when we had the kid and Angus was talking about wet the baby's head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I lost my mind. I went, you reckon you're going out drinking when we've got a newborn? Forget about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for my mate, Ducko. Ah! We get the brother.

What's a few beers amongst friends? Let's do it. Yes. All right, we'll play that one. Morgan, it was Shy Guy's idea. Sure. We're out of here. We're back tomorrow.

As we said, baby registry after grabs. We've got Alpha Marks. We've got that co-fod again. So enjoy it. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.