Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | That's a very different energy

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

If you were to rob The Louvre what song would you play, we play Whats the Threesome and the producers wrap up the week that was in the diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. There's no such... Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall to Paul. We're living the day yet. Podcast, fuck yeah!

We're back. We're on. Sorry, hit the wrong button. That's so fine. I was just reading more about the Louvre Heist. I can't get enough of it. One of the great stories of our modern era, I think. We do touch on it on the show today.

We get your heist getaway songs. That was a lot of fun. It's great fun. But this little tidbit I haven't heard yet, obviously we know the Louvre is home to some of the great works of art. Monelisa. What was stolen was jewels, but in the wing where the jewels were, that's the wing of the Mona Lisa.

Imagine if they'd made off with Lisa. No one can get Lisa. She is behind that much. And have you heard the rumours? It's not, that's not Lisa. It probably makes sense. I mean, now... That is a great mockery.

No, no mockery, forgery. Forgery, yeah. Which was commissioned to keep the real Mona. Safe. Mona Lisa is one of the most overrating pieces of art I've ever seen. I went to sore, I was like, that's it? I want to actually do some more research why Mona is so famous. It's because it's the smile that always looks like it's looking at you.

Like the eyes following you. But like, is that the first piece of art to have done that? Like, other art does that. Let me speak to Shagai's girlfriend and ask. Please do. Chat GPT. Because it's actually very little. It's tiny.

It's tiny. Lisa, so. And I know it's a lot of, it's a mystery, and I'm not questioning the great Da Vinci, but I just don't understand. It's famous for a mix of artistic, brilliance, mystery and historical drama. Okay.

Leonardo da Vinci's mastery. He used revolutionary techniques of his time, especially stufamento, which is a subtle blending of tones and colors that make her look lifelike. So basically... So she was the first to be like that? Understood.

It was like going from Nokia 3210 to iPhone camera and we went, holy shit. Now that's a hell of an analogy. Here's the one that I remember or I thought I knew. Her eyes and mouth seemed to change expressions depending on where you look. Copy that. The mysterious smile effect is intentional and psychologically fascinating. And so Da Vinci was the first one to do that with Mona. The mystery of her identity.

No one knows exactly who she is. Most think she's Lisa Garandini, a Florentine woman. But others claim she's Leonardo himself in disguise. Oh, I love that. that, he's drawn himself in drag. Yeah. Oh, number three, in 1911, an Italian handyman stole the painting from the Louvre. And the media

went wild. It was gone for two years. When it was recovered, the Mona Lisa became world famous overnight. Okay. So the Louvre's had robberies before, this fucking place. So it from the Louvre. Stole from the Louvre. Because you know what I love here? So Da Vinci, obviously, famous Italian. Did you say it was an Italian

workman? Yeah. So I love the idea and Italian's gone, what the fuck is my my country's best artist, what's he doing hanging in the Louve? I'm pinching her. I'm going to bring her back to the Motherland. And then maybe two years later, they went, I'll get her back.

I can't sell that. I wonder if, yeah, they were hunting for her for two years, and that's what propelled her into pop culture. It sounds like she's just grown because it was the revolutionary run of its kind. No one knew kind of what it was or what it meant, but they were entranced by it. And also it got stolen, so it got more famous.

You don't know what you got till it's gone. That's it. It made her much more desirable. Exactly right. Maybe she wasn't getting enough press and it was one of Da Vinci's ancestors being like, I know how we can get her back in the day, trending, I'm going to pinch her.

Oh, this literally was trending news back in the day, wasn't it? I actually would love, I don't need a doco. There's probably a million. I'd love a doco on this. This is unreal. I know. Imagine. I can't wait to see the next movie based on this Italian Hines.

Oh, there's got to be. Scorsese's probably working on it. Cameron might be working on it. I want to see Brad Pitt. I want to see George Clooney. I want to see Matt Damon all back in for an ocean. You know what I'd like to see. The Ocean's 11 boys.

pair up with the Oceans 8 car and the girls. And it's almost like, who can get to it first or, you know, that sort of thing. Ocean's 20. Ocean's 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they should merge the two movies. Yeah, yeah. I think they are making.

Because you know, Sandra Bullock. Oh, no, but in Oceans 8, Sandra Bullock is Danny Ocean, George Clooney's sister. He's dead. Oh. He's dead in Ocean's 8. They killed him, man. Yeah, they killed him. Yeah, they can go back in time.

But also, it's sort of got a question mark, is he actually. Yeah, because I heard they were making. another one with like the OG cast. Okay. But I don't know if that's true enough. So it's got to be then either set in the past because they've, the movie starts with Sandra Bullock visiting Danny Ocean's grave.

Yeah, yeah. I saw an interview with Bradford, but he's like, Oceans 11 was a great movie. He's like, Ocean's 12 and 13, we were taking the piss. And why wouldn't you? He's like, it's like the most fun cast. He said that the cameos, it got so ridiculous with the amount of cast that then

required screen time. Yep. That it became not a solid movie. Just became trying to give actors. Oh, just ticking boxes. That's how I felt about the expendables. I love the expendables, but it's very much just all these heavy hitters. You're like, get him on camera for two minutes.

Get him on camera for two minutes. Can't be doing that. No, it's the greatest story of the year. Wild, isn't it? Wild. And like, not everyone is talking about it, which is making me like, I'm like, are we, do you know what we're witnessing right now? It's unbelievable.

And I love the idea touching on the Mona Lisa's original thievery. In two years, will there be a development? And hopefully you and I are still doing. Exactly this. And we can go, do you remember? Remember this day? In 2025? Well, there's been a development.

Yeah. Wild. Crazy stuff. Crazy stuff. Anyway, it's made the Louvre relevant again. This could be an inside job. I reckon it could be. Now, that's a hell of a theory.

That's a hell of a theory. Again, to get the Mona Lisa trending back in the 15th century, they stole it. To get the Louvre trending in 2025, they've coordinated a heist. Struth. Jeez, that's not bad, is it? Hey, where are we stand on that shy guy? Do we want to go there more or less? Oh, absolutely.

Because you know what, but you know what my issue is? I want to go and try and steal something. I want to go to Louvre now and just see what they... I want to see the place where they broke in. Yeah. That becomes the next exhibit. Yeah. Truly, because I've been to the Louvre and I've been to France a few times.

I only went once. I was like, I'm never going to go back there. Yeah, now. Now I want to go back there. 100%. Yeah. Good times. Anyway.

Enjoy the show. Enjoy the show. you're doing and listen You know I got that shit that you like There's only one show to wake up here I'm not that easy to tang Jess Is it him?

Yeah, I don't know Have a look at this It's a notice I ain't gotta explain Ducco I never have the courage to say Harder Got him going insane

Yeah Shagai Do you do anything you want Bass Can we just have one week Where we don't talk about Doodles on this show Fuck yeah

Talk it This is Jess and Ducco Giddy up 6 o'clock hey Look at that beautiful feeling it's Friday team it's Friday the 24th of October and it is a pleasure and we're here to be here God it's nice it feels good baby it's like dipping into that bath again and it's the perfect temp no I'm still letting it fill up oh you're letting it fill up so you've just got

bare ass on porcelain yes and you're turning the tabs now do you have the double tab you got one hot one cold or you got the mixer I got the mixer yeah perfect level let's not muck around let's not muck around that's been one point of contention because you know we're doing the Renner when we've sort of got Art Deco Federation cottage. So something like a mixer, I'm trying to say to Angus, well, that would have been an art deco house. He goes, don't start me on wood.

What would and would have been an art deco house? You don't want to, trying to fill it to the bathtub, I'm getting it perfectly right. He goes, you don't even, I'm the bath guy. Yeah, yeah. Does he bath? Oh, because he bars. He bars more.

She used to, to be honest. But now that we've been in the apartment for three months, and she loves it. It loves the shower. Loves the shower. She sits down. No, she hasn't quite gotten to that, but she will squat down and play with all the shampoo and conditioner bottles. And so we're able to actually get out, dry ourselves off, and she can just have a little moment.

What we're still watching, you go, this actually feels better and safer than the bath. So we're at a good spot. So I don't, I don't know if we need, no. You go back. The showers are fun. We do need the bath for Bath Boy, Angus. But I don't know if Lutea, we'll go back into Bath. Whenever you need to find Angus, he's huge.

Usually in the bath. When I can't rage him, it's the first place I check. You're in the bath? Oh, there he is. Look at him all tucked in there. That's right with his nice glass are red. He's four squares of fruit and nut. Living his bed.

Watching NRL 360. Watching Braith and Astra and Buzz Rothfield. Just to unwind. Oh, yeah. He's full erect. What are you watching the bath? You enjoy your bath every now and then. I will watch a lot of like NFL replays or sport replays or whatever like that.

Just something easy. Yeah, sometimes I'll read in there if I pop the kindling. That's what I try and say. and this would be a beautiful time. If you'd pick up a book, borrow the Kindle. He goes, no, no, me and brave are happy. Leave me a lot of. It's nice watching mindless things because you are also getting hotter.

You know what I mean? So I like to just sort of... But that's my issue. Anytime I go check in, do you need anything? All the boys around that 360 table are yelling at each other. It's battle stations, you know? How is that not getting you hot and bothered when you're in a hot bath? That's what he loves though.

It's the drama. It is the drama. You know? Some of us watch the summer I turned pretty. Exactly. Some of us watch NRL 360. Exactly. Soap opera for gentlemen, really?

It is. Yeah, that's what it is. Well, I'm, you know, I'm operating today probably below, you know, 50. Okay, what's happened? The daughter's teething. So it just means we've really come into that. We're awake a few times now. Oh, no.

And the issue is, this is now the foreseeable future. Yeah. Because human beings have more than a couple teeth. We remember Google it last night. It's like, what do you mean like eight days per tooth where they're going to be grizzly? What do you mean she's going to have 20 teeth? And it's the tradeoff of like, you're, you're, want four to come at once, and she is a nightmare.

Yeah, yeah. But at least it's over. Over for a bit. Basta. I'll pray for you. I know, yeah. Get my mum to say a rosary. Oh, man.

She's in town this weekend. So she can do a rosary holding your hands, if you wish. You'll see me and her just on our knees at Lucia's party on the weekend, just praying. She packed her bag last night. I don't know if you saw the image I shared on my Instagram story. Oh, I haven't checked. She sent me a text of her suitcase. She goes, I've had to bring checked luggage for all my cake supplies.

She's got the tins. She's got the cookbooks. She's got the buttercream frosting. So I'll make sure she's got room for that. Couldn't do the duck cake, though. God forbid. But I'll make sure she's got room for your rosary pears. Good.

Good. I need some praying. You do. You need a blessing. Shy Lord, how are you today, big fella? Good. Yeah. Good.

A little bit tired, but that's okay. Yeah, well, you got to last night. You got a kid teetting in your house as well. Yeah. No. What time did you get to? What time do you go to bed? Anywhere from 830 to 930, somewhere in that window.

Yeah. Are you, I'll watch something in bed to wind down? Yeah. Depending on how many episodes of Desperate Housewives he pumped through. So many. Big Terry Hatcher fan. Huge. Whoever that is, yep.

She's the main one. Oh, the brunette? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like her. You don't know. Oh, yeah, I do like her. I'm sitting here in my dreams.

Yeah, no. Yeah, I've watched her, but I'm usually asleep by the time it ends. Yeah, right. Wait, so what does that mean? Do you wake up and the laptop's still on your crotch? No, the TV, but it's a setting that turns itself off after an hour. Oh. It's really annoying that.

I'm still watching the TV. Like a little mess that's covered in the corner. It's like, we'll turn off in 10, 9, 8. And if I don't find the remote in time. Oh, it just goes. And I'm like, well, it's shutting itself down. Bye-bye. I'm out of here.

It's like curtains. Yeah. He's like bars. I'm like, I'm gone. I like that. Shy guy's living in the future. Yeah. Shagga's house shuts him down.

It's time for me to go to bed. Yeah, yeah. It's not the worst I'm waking up at like midnight. TV's on. Yeah. Well, he doesn't have a partner going, sweetheart. Your alarm's going to go off. He needs the TV to do it.

I love that for you. Babsy, happy Friday. Happy Friday. What are you watching at the moment to unwind? Sex in the city. Yeah, Babs is pumping her a bit of sex in the city. Yeah, who's Carrie dating? No one at the moment.

Who's Samantha sleeping? Yeah. She was just finished sleeping with Richard. Yeah, that really rich. You're in a really good period there. You are a good period. You know, you set yourself a good red wine, nice bit of chocky tonight. Richard's around for a while as well.

Yeah, oh yeah. for a while. Yeah, we like Richard. Hey, well, we got a big show, so I'm glad we're all sort of firing. Absolutely, absolutely. What did we say? In any good relationship, Ducco,

whatever you're lacking today, I've got your booed. Let's do it together. Do you got me and shy guys? I need you and Babs to... Absolutely. You know, I've been hitting the gym. I reckon I can do it.

Yeah, I reckon you can. Because next we've got no dumb thought Friday. We have Alpha Bucks. We've got the producer's diary, Friday, bangers, and your chance, your last chance to win the cool of fame which we draw today. Absolutely.

And hey, why not get involved right now? 131060, we're taking your dumb thoughts. Yep. We'll share first. It's a safe place. Let's get a little dumb. We love our dummies, that coolant. We do love our dummies because you know what?

They're always a head scratcher. They're always a head scratch. There's no such thing as a dumb thought. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. We created a safe space on this show. Step in. For dummies. Oh, for dummies.

Hey, we don't judge on. This is the one segment we're not going to judge you on. No way. No way. Because you and I, we have a lot of smart thoughts. Yep. We have a lot of intelligent conversation. Yep.

Not often, but we do. But we too, we too have dumb thoughts. Yes. So 13, 1060, if you'd like to put your name in the pool for the call of fame. Yeah. This is an opportunity. That's a be nice, wouldn't it? May I share one?

Yeah, please. Please kick us off. Oranges, man. Oh. What do we know about them? They're juicy. What came first? The colour orange.

Yeah. The fruit on. Who do you reckon got named after the other? Surely the fruit came first, right? Because... Oh, nature, God. Nature, God, producing... Humans.

And someone said, geez, that looks like an orange. You know, I'd imagine that's how it sort of went down. Yes. But when they were... Oh, now we're getting into the niggerty. Yeah. When they were coming up with names for stuff. Yeah.

Triggin it was just a bunch of people, they go, you know what I'm feeling? Yeah. Orange. And then they went, that's a weird word. Yeah, orange. Can you imagine the... Can you imagine the first time a word was ever said?

How weird it would have sounded. Oh, it'd be weird. And then how do things catch fire? I don't know how they catch fire. Surely the orange fruit had... And then the colour. Surely the fruit came full of colour, unless the colour scheme was designed. I'm not sure who designed the colour scheme.

And then they ran out of words for fruit. Who was the Lord of colour? They've done raspberry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They done canolone. They did pear. They went, I cannot possibly think of a new word. Let's just pull a colour.

Because if the colours came first, bananas would be called yellows. Did we just double dumb thought? Did we just dumb thought inception? I love when we do that. Yeah, yellow. That'd be called yellows, right? That'd have to be. They would.

Apples would be greens and reds. That's right. Oh, that'd be confusing. Yeah, but then you got your little reds are raspberries. It's a whole thing. What's a strawberry? Oh, gee. Strawberry is like, strawberry's like,

Little reds with little green dots. Yeah, really, this was, we're going back to Caveman Day here. Blueberries would be little blues. Yeah, little blues. Baby blues. You don't need berry. Yeah, you don't need berry in that. Shogh, have you Googling anything?

Yeah, okay, what have you got? Here we go. Color orange didn't get his name into the 1500s. Color orange. Yeah. Oranges must have been around before then. Yeah. So the fruit came first.

The fruit came. Yeah. Just as we thought. A color was named after a fruit. I suppose orange is all orange. It's not that bananas are all yellow, but... Until they go brown. Ah, that's true.

Orange, orange mainly stays orange. They pretty much do. Even when they get a bit funky. Yeah. They just sort of wilt and get weird. Never going to look at orange the same. Not either. I, it's flies are back.

With a vengeance. They're everywhere. I was at a... I was a celebrating yesterday afternoon. They're everywhere. And you see people on walks. Yeah. You see people on...

walks, like swatting everyone awake. They're just so, you feel like you've got like 20 flies around you and you're going to walk, but they're everywhere. And I know I can be a little stinky, but do you start going, do I? Yeah, is it me? Is it Pam? Are they attracted to me? Yeah.

My daughter pooed herself. Yeah. Well, I believe it's because we had a, you know, a warmer than usual winter. Less dead flies. There's more around. That's right. However, I was fantasising with, you know, killing these flies yesterday. And then I realized if you took a fly's wings off, well, it's no longer a fly.

Is it a walk? Oh, you don't roll your eyes, Babs. Come on. Babs, we just said this is a safe support. Every dumb thought Friday, she looks and rolls her eyes like, oh, I'm so much better than this. How dare you? How? What would you call a fly that no longer flies?

A fly without wings? That doesn't make sense because they've got no wings. We work in radio. There's a thing called word economy. Yeah. Wouldn't it be a walk? Because they're not going to fly? Those things are moving on the ground.

Do they walk or do they hop, though? Well, okay. we've entered the discussion. Thank you for joining in. Are they hops or are they walks? This is the way it works. This is what we do. Hang on a minute.

Hop. Yeah, well, do they go like one foot or do they jump? Have you never seen a fly like walk up or walk? To be fair, I've never seen a fly walk. Really? Do flies walk or hop? Now I want to know. They don't hop.

I feel like they do it. See, isn't this fun? It's not like they bounce up and down, up and down. It is a movement. They've got legs. They do sort of walk, I thought. I thought they walk. I can jump short.

But they're primarily walk. Yeah, they're walkers. They're walkers. So, I guess you'd have to call them a walk. But if they do hop every now and then, that's a grey area, which I'm sure we can explore. But isn't it funny, Ducco? Because similar to the orange and orange conversation, why they call flies? Other bugs fly.

Mosquitoes? How did the fly... Don't make the fly. Get the trademark. That's true. Why did they get the flying card? They got the patent. Why did they get the trademark?

Yes. I agree. Is it fly? with a tiny TM? Have we all just not seen the TM? Have you not seen the TM? Why do flies fly like that? Anyway, guys, just food for thought while you see your flies.

Shaggot Babs, everyone want to add anything? Do you want to quickly go to Ruth's? Oh, yeah, yeah. Ruth text in 048-8-1069. I don't mind this one, Ducko. Yeah. Why is it called a fire truck? When realistically, it should be called a water truck.

Because that's exactly what it is. It's not like it's bringing fire to the fire. Yeah, yeah, it's bringing fire to the fire. If it was bringing fire to the fire, That would not be good. I think you get in trouble for bringing fire to a fire. I feel like you're making it worse. The water truck doesn't sound as cool.

It doesn't. Fire truck sounds much cooler. All the kiddie songs about, you know, Neen or Neen or Goes the Fire Truck. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't quite slap the same with the water truck. Yeah. Jeez, that's, that's, I'm going to have to sit with that one, Ruth.

Chaghan, I think you want to add? Like a thought or anything on the back of that? Oh, either all, mate. Because I don't have anything for either. Okay. Babs? What about you? I'm glad.

Nothing, I'm just having the best time. Great attitude. I don't think this segment gets the respect it deserves from the producers. What have I told you about throwing to them? Stop asking them. It's harm and I look out there and I say, my flash don't have wings, like walks, and Babbs goes, oh my God, I hate him.

Actually, I do have one. No, you missed your opportunity. All right, fine. Not go. No, go, go. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. When you drive past a truck,

you don't know if it's full or empty inside. Like, did that truck just do a delivery? Is it now empty? Yeah, no, we peaked. Jess and Ducko. I want to educate you on something that I want purchased, and Christmas is around the corner, so maybe you guys need to buy this for me.

Okay, we're putting it on your secret Santa wish list. I'd say Babs could probably benefit from this as well. It's in the bathroom region. Love always heading to the toilet. A tiny camera put in your toilet to analyse the contents of your stool called Cola Health. I don't hate this. So it's 6.

It's $600, so you might all need to put in a few more pennies. Well, if everyone just agreed to my budgets, you could get that, Ducco. A thousand dollars each. I don't get it. You tight asses. You don't want to bring up the budget. Babs just gets her paycheck and just gives it to you. Thanks a lot, Jess.

That's what she should be doing. Essentially, yeah. Anyway, Babs, maybe we can work this out. Maybe we get you and me an ambassadorship. What I'm hearing, Ducko, is there's opportunities for SponCon. And we can. Wait, there's a will, there's a way. But talk to me.

The $600 Dakota clamps over the rim of the toilet bowl cleaner, right, pointing at an optical sensor at your excretions and secretions. So there's a, there's a, like a laser. Yeah. So you go. Trained at your butthole. How's this, though, right? It analyzes the images. It detects if there's any blood.

It reviews your gut health, your hydration status, what kind of the stool is like. It then will send it to an app. You go and check your app and log in. There's different subscriptions, but it'll tell you this. But to go into the toilet, to, for the sensor to know it's you. because obviously, you know, there's probably a few butts using that toilet. Oh, of course. You can add multiple butts to the sensor and you fingerprint ID it.

So when I go to the toilet, I put my thumb on it and it's like, ah, ducko's about to take stool. So then all your analysis goes under your profile. Exactly. Because you don't want to be mixing up you and me. Exactly. It'll just muddy the data. You're healthy. You're not healthy.

You're not healthy. Sorry, you said a fingerprint scanner. It doesn't scan your but hole. No, fingerprint scan up. Because I would have thought, yeah. It knows. Feel free to Google. Check me, shy guy.

But would your butt hole? be as unique as your fingerprint. Why do you need to fingerprint, Ducco? Well, obviously, so it knows who's who in the zoo. But I'm saying the laser, I can't look at your butt hole and know with you. Well, the laser, I believe the camera, that's the camera sound effect, is going and looking downwards. It says that they strictly are not looking up at you.

My apologies. I thought you said it was trained to the butt. So it's going to be, the camera uses discrete optics looking only at the results, not at your body parts, it says. Because, you know, for a guy, you could, one of those, hanging things. For a girl, you're looking, you know. You don't want any of that. Here I am.

What an absolute purpose I am. That's a different one. You all. That's different at. What's that, sorry? Babs wrote half a sentence. Sorry, I'm getting there. It says an butthole is unique.

That's why she didn't want to say it. But you wrote the last. The first thing Babbs buzzed through is can be used. Like, you've got to start the sentence. You've got to say anus. Grow up. It's an anatomical. Sorry, the anus is unique to each individual, so it can be used for identification purposes.

As unique as a fingerprint is, that's wild. I did not know that. So if you, God forbid, die in a fire and all that's left is your butthole, we will be able to like that? No, that would need to be on file. No, you're right. I need to get a print first. Could you imagine if, I believe, who was it that discovery? Was it Jay Edgar Hoover who founded the fingerprint?

I believe it was. That's a great trivia. The CIA in America. Sure, yeah. I only know it because Leonardo DiCaprio played him in a movie. Now, I believe, imagine if J. Edgar was like, didn't realize it was the thumbprint. He went, butthole. So for this whole time, you go to the police, if you ever get pulled him, it's like, all right, spread them and you just put your ennuss on something.

It's like, oh, God, yeah. You know, for Valentine's Day, there's always those, I was going to say gimmick. It's a real business. You can do a mold of your butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can do that, yeah, and make it in chocolate. And make it out of chocolate. Yeah, yeah. You know, as unique as a fingerprint.

So what we need, Ducko, is for you to do that mould. Yeah, I can do the mould. So we have the butt print on file, because shy guy, you make a great point. Would you eat my butt chocolate? With pleasure. Come on. Yes, and. Trey-upon-Ducco in the morning.

Jess and ducco's 10K alpha bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all started with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. not use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we'll come back if there is time.

Now, we are playing for $10,000 in our player today is Taylor. Hello, Taylor. Good morning, guys. How are you? We're fantastic, Taylor. May we call you Taitay. Tate. Absolutely.

Thank you very much. Tate. Hell yeah. What do you want to spend 10 grand on today, babe? I would love to take my kids on a holiday, pay off some bills, and stock up for Christmas, I reckon. Oh, yeah. Just live your life.

Live your life. Or maybe you'd like to consider Fiji as your destination of choice, Taylor. Maybe France. Because those places start with F, and that's what you're going to work with today. Okay. All right, are you ready to rock? Yep. All right, your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter F, we need you to name a drink. Fanta. A verb. Fantastic. An instrument. Fiddle? A flower. Pass.

An Italian food? Italian food. Feducini? A sitcom? A friend? An international city. Friends? Something in the bedroom.

Pass. You could have said anything. I would have taken Fred. You could have said a friend. My uncle Fred was in a bedroom once or twice. He was there. Hey, look, you don't get the money, tailor. I think we know that.

You did get yourself four. I had down. F for four. F for four. Something in the bedroom could have been a fan, Fred, furniture, whatever it may be, a flower, the French, a panty. An international city, you went with France.

That's a country. We were looking at probably somewhere like Florence, Frankfurt. Two great places. Two great places. I would never have thought of that. And then a verb could have been full or fix or even a flick, but you don't get the money,

but you do get $100 to spend at Birkenstock. That is all yours. Amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, Taylor. You can use that for Chrissy. Yep. Yeah, for sure.

New shoes. There you go. New shoes. They are good shoes, too. They're very comfy. Good stuff, Taylor. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you so much.

Bye. Play again late o'clock for $10,000. Up next though. Hey, it's producer's diary time. It's been a hell of a week, Doc. Let's see what these two little monkeys have written down and want to revisit. How would you describe it this week, show, guy? Pretty good.

Sorry, I'll turn your mic on. There you go. Pretty good. It's all right. He was texting. He wasn't even paying attention. You're texting? No, my dad sent me a text message of what he suspects is a spam email.

Anyway, it's a whole thing. This is our morning, guys. Sorry, let's drill down on what's the email say. When these big sticks are on, doesn't matter if daddy texts. I can see in the screen talk. He's listening to us. I can see it. Oh, good morning, Mark.

Anyway, Dad, they are spam. Just ignore them. Don't click the links, Mark. The prince in Venezuela is not real. He might be in trouble. Jess and Ducco. 13, 1060 on the phones right now. We're going to have a little fun.

And the Friday bangers should have put you in a musical. Yes. Mind frame. Yep. That's why we put this here. So we've been speaking as it's broke this week and all the week. The remarkable story of the Louvre being robbed at 9.30 a.m. On a normal day.

The thieves, the cat burglars, getting away with what's estimated to be $160 million worth of priceless jewels. A lot of experts saying you can't put actually a value because they are historical pieces from France's history. So how do you actually value that? And are they breaking it down?

Are they selling it whole to rich people to put it in their secret lair? Yes. Where is it going? Where is it going? The more days that passed, the less chance we're catching these people. It's unbelievable. The story. It's crazy. Also, the Louvre didn't have insurance on their stuff because I thought the security. development yesterday, the CCTV was pointed the wrong way.

Oh, classic. Which I haven't seen, did like, did they get a broom and push it out the way? Or was it just set? Did they just know that? I mean, this is a great, this is an inside job. There's 100 investigators from around the world trying to work on this and capture these. How many robbers were there? I think there was only four and they got away on mopeds.

On Vespers, yeah. Which is the most French, European thing I've ever heard. So what we wanted to do, and you can get involved on 13, 1060, because this is trending online. People are now going, geez, what would your heist song be? Yeah, it was their vision because there was eyewitnesses. People were at the Louvre and around that they had like AirPods in. Yes. So people going, well, they listen to music?

What were they pumping out? What was their song that was like, hell yeah, we've just done it. Here we go, boys. Let's put this one on. This is us going. Absolutely. So we thought, if you've just robbed the Louvre, your adrenaline is running, okay, you've come out. You've got Napoleon's crown in your back.

You've got Napoleon. What is your track you're going to play? We've all got ours. You can jump in on 13, 1060. You'll get the idea. For me, if I want to start it, mine, I'm going a song, that's sort of trendy again right now. So you've just pinched some pearl necklaces? I think some pearl necklaces pinched.

You're walking out. I'm walking out. I'm looking at you guys nodding. Babs is winking back, shy guys smiling. You got the key your moped out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is Madonna's like a prayer, but the Wolverine edition from Deadpool. Imagine this.

Cruising down. This is an epic. We've got Napoleon's jewels in my, I'm putting it in my little moped seat when my helmet goes. We've got away with it. Someone called Holywood. Here we go. We're high-fiving while driving? I'm picturing it in slow motion.

Oh, yeah. Could you imagine that? The build-up is amazing. So this would be mine, and this would get me going. Ducco, for me, very arrogant. But as soon as I've taken that many crown jewels, I'm immediately thinking about the payday on the black market, you know, the people who will buy it for their private collections.

Yeah. So obviously, I'm going to be a very rich girl. Ah, this is a good one, too. It's a classic. It's a classic. Paul and Oates. Imagine just cruise around there. I can see us nodding to this.

And it'll just be us like, you know, doing the two steps. Finger guns? Yeah, I like that. As the cop has arrived, being like, fop bang, get on our moments. Shylaw, where do you stand? I'm going to Billy Eilish badge guy. Because you're such a naughty boy for robbing the loo. That's right.

Walking out with a beat behind me. I'd be slightly anxious, but I'd be... You'll miss you walk a bit faster. Guys, come on, we gotta go. We'd all be on different vibes. If we're all listening to our own tune. That's very true. You're in slow motion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing a little of disco. Yeah, yeah, it is. Barbes, finish us off. You've just broken through. You've got up a crane. You've gotten out with 160 million in your bag. I'm going with bittersweet symphony.

Tracks. Sun shining down on me. Yeah. I see her taking off her Richard Nixon mask and spinning in the courtyard of the move. Chess bumping us? Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. Geez, we'd all be on different vibes, wouldn't me?

We really, but that's what makes a dream cat burglar team work. You know, we've all got a different strengths, different skills, bringing different motivations. 13, 1060. Join our heist crew. What's your, yeah, we want you in the heist crew. You got your own AirPods, though? What's the song you're playing?

Don't sink your AirPods to my phone, because that'll Just be annoying. No, not everyone will want haul and oats, and I appreciate that. Jess and Ducko. Get involved, your chance to win that call of fame. Of course, we draw it at 9 o'clock this morning. Yeah, we're talking about the Louvre heist, which is just a story that has captured the entire world, to be honest.

No one was hurt except maybe France's ego and the security guards. Just a good old-fashioned heist, man. Good old-fashioned heist. 9.30 a.m. last Sunday morning. Broad daylight. four cat burglars got their way in through an open window on like a cherry picker and absconded with 160 million dollars worth crazy story they've got away there's 100 investigators the Louvre didn't have insurance the cameras weren't

facing that way like this is a well thought out well put together thing totally but they were fully eyewitnesses watching these people men or women we don't know at this point and there was a report that they had AirPods in or like headphones so now there's a trend online of what were they listening to? Did they sync up their playlist? Or did they all have some music going that they all went, we've made it this far as we make our way to the scooters,

press play on your heist exit song. So we did ours. Doug goes gone from the Wolverine movie. No, Deadpool Wolverine. My apologies. Madonna's like a prayer, the choir version. It's very uplifting. It just gets me going, man. It makes you want to go to church.

So mine was this. Yours was a bit of Fritchfield. Which is a good fun. You know, quite a little bob. It does just feel like a movie scene, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. He did go round the room. Yeah, Shaga was giving us anxiety.

A bit of Billy. Because he's a naughty boy. He's just robbed the Louvre. And then Babs was keeping it classic. The verb pipe, man. But Amy's called through, Ducko. Yeah. Amy, you've just robbed the Louvre with us.

You've got your AirPods in. What song are you hitting play on? Absolutely hitting play on. on We Are the Champions. Yep. This will do. We're getting away, guys. Just like the Mighty Ducks in the movie.

Nobody expected it. Nobody saw it coming. Yeah. It's the full underdogs. It's the full underdog story. I love it, Amy. That's on our playlist. You're in the cruise.

You're in the heist, okay? I don't know what you specialised in the heist, but you are. Obviously demolition. She was giving demolition energy. We go to Beck on 13, 1060. Good morning, Beck. Good morning. Guys, how are you going?

Hey, Beck, we couldn't be better. We've just robbed the Lou. We've got $160 million worth of lute. What song are you hit and play on? Well, it's not exactly a song, but a theme song. The Benny Hewles, same song. We're off. They got in, they got out, and Benny Hill is nice and quick.

Comedy of errors. This is what I feel like plays when the cops do start chasing us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all like a video game. It's just a bit of fun, guys. We lose about an intersection. Oh, there's the Uctriomph! Look at us go.

Love it. Okay. Becky, you are in our ice crew. Well done. Absolutely. Jade, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. How are you guys? Good, babe. We've just robbed the Louvre. We're escaping on our mopeds. What's in your AirPods? In my air pods is pump it by the Black Ride Peat. You can't say, zooming down the freeway. You've got it going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ay.

She's singing along under her helmet, because obviously he saved you first. We need Jade in our high school. I think she's going to be a good time. I think she's coordinated the getaway. Absolutely. We love that, Jay. We're putting that one in. We go to Jody. Good morning, Jody.

Hi, how are you guys? Jody, we are top of the world. I mean, we just robbed the Louvre, and it looks like we've gotten away with it. What's in the air pods? Well, look, I think as we're right... Oh, no, Jody, we lost you. We lost you.

Go again. There we go. Yep, go. Okay. As we ride away on the moped's obviously being chased and not getting caught, I think we should be synchronizing to the time of my life. Nope. I didn't have that one in there, Jay, hold on.

Do you mean the one from Dirty Dancing, Jody? Dirty dancing, yeah. Oh, I love it. On our moped's riding away, yeah. Because while we're riding high, Jodes, I mean, it's a hell of a time for us being along. There we, there we go. Perfect. There we go.

Not the one I had. Here we go. You got the dance remit. That's for when we're back at the club house. Yeah, hell yeah. And we're having a party. Yeah. I love it.

Thank you, Jody. That's a great nomination. You can join our crew. And finally, we have one more spot going in the crew. Okay. What's the job left? I guess we need the Mark Wahlberg of our Italian job. James, you're going to be our leader.

We've robbed the Louvre. It's gone perfectly. What is the song on your playlist? I'm going to go with Hooked On a Feeling. This is perfect. What was this in? Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes.

This is great. You know what feeling I'm hooked on, James? What's that? We're $160 million rich a baby. Oh, that's it. Hey, James, could you pass me Napoleon's crown? I want to wear Marie Antoinette's Tiara. Looks good on you, James.

That's it. I love it. Oh, the crew is looking good. What a crew. The playlist is sorted. Jess and Ducko. One, two, three, three, three. Jess and Duckos. What's the threesome?

It's a good point, Ducco. maybe we need to channel physically the Slim Reaper Shy Guy to better get in his head to understand the answers he's looking for he's going to give us three things they all have something in common we have to tell him exactly what he thinks

they have in common harder than it sounds exactly we've tried for two years to speak shy guy in ease tough language it is a tough language so let's see how we go today all right your first one oh straight off straight out Uranus Neptune

Pluto more Planets far away Small as planets Colons Planets with no Planets with no rings Which is Neptune have rings? Say no atmosphere

Oh really? I don't know Not the right answer Planets with no atmosphere? No Planets With no moons No

Planets Pluto got sucked into Uranus It's orbit for a bit Cold planets They're all coal, right? They're all planets that were discovered last Oh

Oh Well they're the furbus It makes sense, doesn't it? I thought Pluto got called a dwarf moon for a bit. Or star. Has it got a rebranded back as a planet? Well, they are or also dwarf planets. But not what I was looking for.

GDP, CPI, unemployment rate. Economic terms. Thank you. I appreciate the click. Yeah, mate. Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. My dad would be proud of me.

I got shares in the Broncos. Yeah, you do. You're the number one shareholder. Obviously. Eleven, Mike Dustin. Oh, they have characters from strange things. They are. Is that a double point or is that a Bab's point?

I mean, you can do what you want, Quizmaster. I'll give it to Bab. Thanks. Among us, Minecraft, Roblox. They are popular video games. Kids games. On your phone. Games on your phone?

Games that were shows. Games are Minecraft. Computer games. You were so close to the beginning. Kids games. Kids games that have turned into. movies. Video games.

They're not movies. Something about kids? No. Okay. So Minecraft. Popular video games in 2020. No. Minecraft.

You'll share one thing you can do on these games. County that's got their own currency? They do, but not what I'm looking for. Buildings. Build things. Build cities, empires, houses. Put a bullet in a shotgun. They're all online games.

But we bonged out until, so no points. Okay. Okay. DCEU, the MCU, and the Spideyverse. They're all... Marvel universes. Yeah. Oh no, DCU. Universes with superheroes.

Yes. Superheroes. Cinematic universes. I'll give that to you. There it is. Best one. Happier than ever. When I fall asleep. The Billy, Irish songs. Don't smile at me.

No, I didn't even know that. No, I didn't. Well, albums, sorry. Not songs. Oh, albums. Oh, I awarded it. Okay. A snow leopard, a lynx and a cheater.

Animals, cats, big cats. Body cats. Spot cats. Fast. Fast. Wild cat. I'll give that to. Thank you.

Good to be here. Point on the board for ducco. So Jess with two, Bouser 2, Ducco with wine. Ah, here we go. Come on. Sandstone, limestone,

granite. Oh, stones, types of stone, types of frock. Building materials? So that means next point wins. Oh, guys. Now we've got a game.

Definitely no slouching. Now we can have some fun. Yeah. Gary, Patrick, Sandy. They're from SpongeBob. They are SpongeBob. Oh, mate. Is that an in joke between you two?

No. No. No. No. Mom. That's just what came out. Are you ready, kids? Bab says Patrick Energy.

Why, because I live under a rock. Jess and Ducko. To my fellas. Oh, yeah. BDE smile is trending at the moment. I think we're all well aware what BDE is. You either have it or you don't, right? It's no great area for this, Daco.

It's like Riz. I think you either have it. charisma or you don't. Can you learn it? There's probably a question mark over that. Can you develop it over time? Maybe. But B, D, E, yeah.

You either have it or you don't. And it doesn't necessarily mean what it's meaning literally. No, well, that's the E, man. Yeah. It's just that energy. It's got nothing to do necessarily with your anatomy. Yeah. It's about that energy you put out.

But social media users are now saying there is a way to determine what's going on with a gentleman, anatomical. and energy-wise. Okay, everything. Based on the smile. All right. Here is one TikTok user explaining that sort of vibe you can get from a fellow smile. A lot of men who are hung will use this smile because they know what they're actually non-verbally saying to you.

So it's basically saying is what's going on in the eyes, what's going on in the smile and energy that's being portrayed. Okay. Smising. Well, very good Tyra Banks reference there. Duffo, what I thought for the two fellas at least in the room. Yes, I definitely knew that. Huge fan of America's stock model back in the day. What I thought, I've seen you smile plenty of times, Doug.

But we just did a photo shoot this week. But what I'd like, shy guy, a little bit harder pressed to get a smile from it. Yeah, it's tough. And I know putting you on the spot, it's not. You're going to ask me a smile. I'm going to ask you both right now. Give me your best smile. Okay.

We're just out and about. Yeah. Give me a nice, nice smile. Okay. You want me to go first? I would love you to go first. It's hard now to smile. And I know the energy, the vibe.

Like, okay, what's the situation? What is this? Are we, am I happy? Like, is this like a, you know. Happy, smile, sad smile. Like, is it, or is this, am I trying to smile? Where, we're just out and about and you're just feeling yourself. You feel good, look good.

Yeah, nice. I like, you do what I do. Nothing's falling awkward. It's so uncomfortable. You do what I do. The only way to fake a. smile is to fake a laugh. Okay.

Now, see, that was a very different energy. Oh, sorry. Okay. I'm going to look down. So obviously, everyone playing at home, a lot of tea, a lot of joy. I do have, yeah, and I get very, I've open-mouthy. You do open-mouth smile. I'm sorry, based on this research.

I've got a massive BDA? No, the opposite. Shark guy, you give me a little. Here we go. It sucks, man. It's really hard. It's really hard. You're going to have to, okay, close.

So you're also actually hard. Turn around, turn around, like, turn around face away. That's nice. And then I'm going to count down. And then you're going to smile. No, no, it's be good. It'd be really good. Okay, here we go.

Three, two, one. Based on that, shy guy. Based on that, no. Okay, fair enough. I was getting it from you, mate. Thank you. I got to do it really slow next time. Sure, we both smiles together.

Yeah. I think so. What this data. And when we call it. Dada, it's a couple of people commenting on Ticot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are saying it's got nothing to do with teeth. It's got nothing to do with...

Oh, so you can't show teeth. It's all about that smugness coming through in your energy, through more of a smirk. So you being genuinely happy, unfortunately, shoot yourself in the foot to give yourself that B, D, D, E, energy or vibe. Shy guy similarly, you kind of laughed in that moment. You ruined the illusion. Yeah, damn.

Your normal smile, which is much more of a smirk, wouldn't you say, Ducko? It's a grimace from the slim man. Yep. That actually is doing wonders for you in terms of your reputation. I get because it's not revealing too much. Exactly. I don't need to show too much because I've got a lot. You've nailed it.

Hugh Jackman and the new Superman actor, David Coren Sweat, apparently these are the top two actors we should be looking to. I would have thought for that sort of, that smug, smug, I wouldn't call Hugh Smug. No, I would have said Hugh's teeth. A lot of people pulling up pictures of him being like, you can see that sort of. of grimace, and that apparently is doing wonders for his reputation. It's just one guy who made a TikTok, who's obviously slept with a guy who's got a massive thing. He's a journal. And he wants grimmised at him.

Yeah, 100%. That's what it is. Yeah, definitely. Ticket up, Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hits. You have 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer.

It cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're on true of the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back if there's time. We are playing for $10,000. Our player's day for this beautiful Friday morning. Sean, hello, Sean. Good day. How you going, mate?

Seanie, beautiful, dulcet tones coming out of you, my friend. Happy Friday. Happy Friday to you. What are we doing with 10 grand? How are we supercharging our weekend? It would be more a long-term thing. I want to put it towards going to Thailand to get me teeth. fixed.

Okay. What are we getting done, Sean? Just the all-on-four implants. Yeah, nice. Yeah. I'd literally listen to a podcast yesterday with a cosmetic dentist talking about porcel and veneers. What a beautiful podcast I listened to on a Thursday.

What an insight into your world. The Vainish podcast is doing very well on that one. I was on this one too. Yeah, yeah, me too. I was on the veneer one as well. I was also on hair plugs in Turkey, but that's another, that's a special time. Beck Judd and Jess Roberts, they're doing a great podcast. Thank you.

You should listen to it. John, it was very interesting. That's in your wheelhouse. Talking to a cosmetic dentist. Let's get your 10 grand to not only get you to Thailand, but to get you some new pegs. The letter you're going to work with is the letter A for Alfa Bucks. That's a good letter.

Thank you do-doge. Let's give it to crack. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter A, we need you to name. An Occupation. An ascitist. A horror movie.

Amityville Horror. An international city. Amsterdam. An adverb. Oh, geez. Asked. An animal. Advert.

A musical. Pass. Something you spray. Air freshener. A sport. Oh, geez. Sean out of the gate. I'm some great answer.

is there. You got yourself half, five. Oh, Shawnee. I've no doubt, with a bit more time, you'd have got every single one. An adverb, did you say asked or did you say past? I couldn't. No, I said, asked. Yeah, we look at anything, L.Y. Angrily, awkwardly. That's the adverb trick. A musical, Aladdin or the big one, Annie. And then a sport is tough. You don't often think of, say, archery or abseiling. Could have said AFL, probably. Oh, yeah, that's true. Maybe.

Yeah, you could have said. That's all right, Sean. Oh, well. Damn, we can't get you some new pegs, but what can we give him? Well, we can give $100 to spend at Birkenstock. That sounds pretty good to me. How do you like that, Sean? You can get the dogs out, not the pegs, though.

No worries, thanks very much. Thank you for joining the show, Sean. And, yeah, listen to that episode of Vanish. Go ahead and download that podcast. After you download it, and then jump on that one. It's dense listening, but God, you'll enjoy it. You'll get something out of it. He was a very charismatic dentist.

Okay, I'll get you a lot of it. Hey, up next. Oh, yeah. You got a comment yesterday. You're at a wedding. Yeah, I just needed to bring you in the loop on some of the commentary I get when I'm wearing another hat. You know, usually I'm wearing my radio hat. Yeah.

But sometimes I wear my celebrant hat. Bigger hat, yeah. It's a different hat. Different hat. I just received a comment yesterday. I'd like to unpack with you. Jess and Ducko. A comment was made to me, Ducco, that left me scratching me head.

I thought I need to unpack this with me, pal. Come with me. I know that you have expressed in the past. in the past some concern about marriage celebrants, you know, maybe making ceremonies about themselves and that is not their job. Yes. That's a bad

celebrant. Good celebrants, obviously telling the love story, capturing the essence of the couple, setting the tone for the rest of the day. At least that's my ethos. I've only been a marriage celebrant for a hot second, but that's what I try and do for my couples. And that's never been called into question

until yesterday. Hadn't even started my ceremony. I was out for a beautiful couple, and I was really privileged. They are rice cookers. They're part of this family. So when they reached out, you know, 18 months ago, I was like, oh, my God, I'd love to, love to be involved. Thank you very much.

So I roll in two hours early, because I'm still new. I still get a little bit pedantic about tech issues. It's like you going to an airport four hours, really. It's funny. I rolled in and the venue manager saw me and she went, oh, my God, what, have I got the timing wrong? Isn't it 4 p.m? and I went, yeah.

She's like, it's 1.45. I was like, I'm nervous. I just want to make sure everything's all gravy. Sets P-Up hits on. You're all right? Well, I've done everything I can do. I was trying to sell you on my speaker system. I'm like, it's really easy.

Why do you need two and a half hours? Because I'm nervous. Yes. I just want to make sure it's all good. Okay. But there's videographers and photographers and all that jazz. And the videographer comes over to me and he wants to put an input or an output into my speaker system to capture his own audio.

I'm like, no worries. And he looks me up and down. And he goes, oh, I was going to. going to put a lapel mic on you as well. Now, I've never actually had a videographer do that. Oh, yeah. To, again, capture the audio, make sure all the vows are nice and crisp. Obviously, my story is captured.

And he's looking at me. And he was a, I don't want to share, he was a sub six footer, like yourself. Well, I sure can you mean. So he's staring directly at my areas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, oh, I was going to put a lapel mic on you, but, um, hmm, I've never actually had a celebrant showing so much chest. such a low-cut dress

maybe I won't do the lapel mark and I'm like is this am I what am I what am I wear is this stuff? You're in that red dress I need to re-look at it and it's so funny because about an hour ago do just happen to be on my Instagram story and you complimented the outfit I was wearing

this guy has basically said why you got your boobies out if you're the silver. It's got the split in it it's not the little dip but nothing they're not hanging out I don't have that much to hang out. So was he saying... He's basically saying, I can't put a lapel mic on you because it's too...

It's too booby. Maybe it'll attract too many eyes there if he's putting it right in the middle. He's saying the day is meant to be about this couple. I'm not going to put a bike. I'm not going to put a mic on. It's not about your boobs. It's about the couple. Exactly.

And it just made me think of it. This is what Darko's talking about when he's worried about celebrants making it about themselves. This videographer has essentially gone. Tuck yourself. You will clean yourself up before you tell their love story. I was like, has anyone got a shawl for me? I apologise. What's he used to putting, like, mics on...

I'm like, at celebrants out there wearing turtlenecks? Like, what would you like me to wear, my friends? Well, I mean, like, okay, let's not come. Yours isn't exactly buttoned up. Let's not go that far. You know, it's not... I wouldn't call it super booby, but I wouldn't say it's not. I'm not wearing a bloody clubbing outfit.

My goodness. Anyway, it was a really low... What would suggest for that you only... clubbing out for look like these days. It's probably a turtleneck. Jeans in a nice top. You get it, brother. Yeah, I get it.

How dare he? But anyway, a taller guy probably wouldn't have made that comment. Whoa! No, sir! Jess and Duckow. A horror night last night in the family household. Oh, no. In the old Alan Duckett household.

Up against her. Yeah, well, for starters, Flo is teething now, so we've got that to deal with. So she is, you know. How dare she go through this one of the start? Oh, goodness me. Yeah, I just thought teeth just appeared and we're all good, you know? That's right. How many times is this going to happen?

Oh, my God. Just the crying. You got the Bongella. Got the Bongella. That seems to help, you know what I mean? I was recommended to freeze spring onions. Yeah. And then you give them to chew on.

I mean... That feels problematic. I don't want to do that. Bongella's good. Just numbs them. She's your own research. Yeah, yeah. So, look, we're up against it.

We were... Morgan was really feeling like having salmon for dinner, which is not a common thing to crave, but I think she wanted something fresh. She wanted salmon, roast potatoes and veggies. And I said, Wow. Yeah, I said, okay, let's go. Let's do it.

Salmon in a bag? No, no, no. She, like, got the salmon airfriar, actually. We've been airfrying the salmon as of late. That's another hint all there for the story. You know, I like to know. How you're cooking things, how you're enjoying it? Yeah, great.

You're lucky I'm not asking about seasonings or sauces. I'm withholding. So, she's, what happened at lunch is I basically made chicken for lunch and I put all raw chicken on a wooden chopping board. Chopped it up, okay? Done my chicken. we didn't have time or I didn't have time to wash the chopping board so I've put the chopping board in the sink

you know how chicken bits stay on a wooden chop wood Yeah the gross little white bits or whatever I never want to use the dish cloth or like the the dish bloody thing for that Because I feel like it gets on the head of my dish It makes a lot of sense doesn't it Yeah I don't want to get it on that It's going to get the raw chicken on it So I get the raw chicken on it

So I get the knife that I use and I scrape the chicken parts off And then I'll clean it later right I left it like that I scrape some of the chicken off Probably did a half kind of job. We had a bunch of things going on. You've got to let this stuff soak, Ducker. You've got to let it soak.

You got to let it soak. Comes to dinner time. I'm bathing flow. Morgan starts chopping up all our potatoes and veggies. And this, my chicken chopping board was next to the sink with a bunch of utensils out. Clearly, it had been used. Okay. She's chopped at all.

As we're getting that on, I'm trying to get Flo to bed. She's crying. We're watching the baby monitor. Who's going back here? Who's on this? Whatever. I then look over. I said, hey, did you use that chopping board?

for all of our dinner. She went, yeah. So she's pulled it out of the sink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on, I'm going to use this. No, she didn't tell me that. She's just done that. Okay.

And I said, um, I use that for my chicken at lunch. And she goes, well, it looked clean to me. I was like, I scraped some of the chicken particles off, but I didn't clean it. And hang on, yeah, that's what I want to get down to. It's not in the drying rack. No. It's still in the sink. It's still, it's leaning next to the sink.

Oh, okay. So she's thinking, this is where he gets, so she goes. Who's at fault here? Exactly. She goes, you put it next to the sink. And I was like, yeah, but it wasn't clean. It was next to the dirty pan, etc. Wouldn't you just grab another chopping board if you know you're doing our dinner on it?

If it's in proximity to other dirty things, you've got to assume it's dirty. Right? That's what I thought. I mean, normally, look, we're both tired. We're running on fumes with the current situation of the household. I get that. I get it. But then she goes, it'll be fine.

Don't worry about it. And she's the biggest germophobe because she's a nurse. And I go, hang on. You know, you get annoyed me if the benches aren't clean, but you're saying it's fine that our dinner's been chopped on raw chicken chopping board? Yeah, isn't it funny? Because it's one thing with the kid concern. It's like, no, sterilise that thing three times. So I go, you didn't do it well enough. But for you, yeah, yeah, you'll be fine. But then I was like, what's a bit of salmonella amongst grown-ups? Exactly. Then I started freaking out. I was like, we can't afford to

get sick. I don't get sick. And she goes, it'd be fine. So I start continuing. And then she goes, do you think it'll be fine? Hang on. You're the medical one. I'm happy to defer to you. Yeah, yeah. But only if you're staunch. And I was like, I don't know if it'll be fine. Then we're looking at the chopping board, trying to inspect if there's chicken particles on it. We freaked ourselves out so much over the preceding five minutes that we had to abandon dinner. Did you chuck it all out? We had to abandon all the vegetables.

We probably would have been fine. I don't know how hard and fast that rule is. No, neither do I. And even you're cooking, then you're cooking the thing. It's not like you're then eating raw potatoes. That's true. But also, my mom's rule, any doubt, throw it out. That's where I was going with it, right?

So we ended up having a cup of rice that you heat up in the microwave with salmon in a plate. And it was the most, it was like our daughter's crying. and we're eating rice with salmon in a plate. It was just like this. And you'll see that and she's like, well, if you just clean the chopping board, I was like, if you just use the right one. Okay, what we need are his and hers chopping boards. Jess and Ducko.

It's time to take a look back at the week that was. It's been a hell of a week. It's been a hell of a week. A great week. Lucky these two both have their collective diaries and they come together to create this wonderful piece. Well, what are we can spin with Jess and Ducko? Jess is pulling out all the stops for Lucia's birthday this weekend. She's turning two and Jess is sparing no expense.

Did you just say you've hired a content creator for your child's second birthday? And what is a content creator? She goes around on her iPhone. Yeah, it's content. So she's going to make a real, I presume? Yeah. So I added her first birthday. This can't be a shock to you.

First birthday to me is more milestone than second. To me, I wouldn't do it, but I understand why people go big for the first birthdays. I get it. Second is like, yeah, right? No. I'm with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bab's chaggot.

How many times do I have to explain this to you, people? I grew up in a celebration family, and now I want to have a celebration family. Every birthday is special. Poor hang. Get hit by a bus tomorrow. He's part of my celebration. At least the content cradle will be there to capture it. Celebrity, good time.

Come on. In the podcast, we do some content that you don't hear in the show. You got thinking, if the four of us were all in a nativity play, who'd play who? It says that we need a baby Jesus. Yeah, okay. Copy, I've got that. That's my child. He's mother, Mary.

Yeah, that's Morgan. That's got me, I guess. And now, Father, Glastricht. We also need sheep and angel and, uh... Oh, I want to be the angel. You can be the angel. Yeah, I'm going to... It's a Gabriel.

Shy guy. You are all three wise men. So it's you in the middle as frankincense. Your left hand is mer and your right hand is gold. Okay. And then... And bab's... Sheep.

Sorry, James Hunt Wise Man is obviously going to be the song playing. So everyone can come and I go, all right, so this is what happened. We'll sit there and be like waiting, waiting. Guys, people walking past. Places! Action! Ah, my donkey is doing, oh my God. My wife is pregnant. I think the donkey has to double as the midwife because I don't know who's delivering his baby.

Hey, what's Mur doing? Surely Mur can get his hands dirty. Mert isn't a person. Who invited Mur? F*** off Mur. You know how I'm really self-aware, Shagai? Yeah. Yeah, well, I had a little injury at our team photo shoot earlier in the week.

And it's not like the guys haven't stopped talking about it or anything. One of us had an issue, had a photo injury. Oh, there was, there was first aid required. It was blood. I was cleaning a team member's blood. There was. Off the ground. You and me, Jess, was scrubbing blood.

Where did the leak come from? Who leaked? That's the question. Oh, that's the question. Who leaked? Where did you leak? Where's your leak? And also, cleaning somebody else's blood is a disgusting thing to do.

I really want to get to that, Ducco. How did you and I snap into parent mode? You know, Shah got didn't clean the blood, but he was, he was attending to the, ah, it was Babs, let's be real. Yeah, we've eliminated all the laws. We've been able to say you were on the ground on a hands and he's scrubbing blood off the floor. I'm so proud of us. I was just really worried for the studio because I didn't want blood stain.

The only person who didn't take responsibility was she who leaked. Yeah, and Babs was just like going, oh, what happened? I didn't even. Well, I didn't know what to do I'm shocked. Yeah, yeah. She was in shock. You were just glad it was from your, from your toe.

Yeah, yeah. It's always nice to connect with your colleagues. I never thought Docco and I would make a regular thing of discussing our sinuses, though. So, yes, a warm day, wasn't it hot. Warm and windy. Warm and windy bad for the sinuses. How'd yours go, Babs, actually, just quietly? Mine were not well in the eye.

either one mine. Yeah, good time. Good chat. I love when you guys bond over your sinus clubs. Sometimes I'll just send Babs the text. Your sinus is cooked right now. She goes, yep. I go, me too.

And that's it. You guys don't need to have lunches out. That's your bonding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's solidarity in your other sinus issues with someone else. Like, it's solidarity. I am not alone. And then you add a, geez, there's more pollen around this year.

Have a good one. And then she doesn't reply. It leaves you on red. Yeah, and then she turns to her partner and goes, geez, I don't keep messaging me about my son. sinuses. I don't know anyone else with signers problems, like, as bad as mine. Shire goes, one of your parents

does, your dad? Dad. Yeah, your dad does. Oh, there you go. Mark, Ducko and Babs. They're looking for a fourth. DM me, Mark. When Ducko's out and about, he's always happy to meet a rice cooker and sign an autograph. Or a boob. And this lady comes up to me and she goes, excuse me, and I'm thinking, oh, here we go. Where do you want me to sign? Big fan, as she opens her blouse.

Here we go, yeah. Which titty? Oh, that would have been bad? Always the left, because you're left hand. worse benefit. You have got to lean across to English. Less much. Well, they know that. When you sign old ladies' boobies,

you stretch the skin out to avoid the wrinkles. Or do you have to let it go natural because otherwise it'll crinkle? Well, natural, because the sag is already there, it's sort of at my height anyway. So I don't need to, you know. 827, grow up. So anyway.

You start talking. Sure, I go, grow up. So anyway, as I, she comes up to me and says, excuse me, I'm thinking, okay, here we go. And she's like, I just want to say, I love your shirt. You look really good in that shirt. And I was like, I looked at Morgan.

I was like, I think she's heading on. I think this is what I'd like to be hit on. I'm just letting everyone out at the table. And I was like, you are, you give boy toy energy. Like you would be an absolute catnip for the kinkins. I see that. Yeah, they'd make their little play thing. Yeah.

See you next week, rice cookers. Here. In Jess and ducco. Call a minute. You get involved in the show. We like to thank you, not with our words, but with presents. Yep. It's called The Call of Fame.

And this week, $500 to spend with reflections, holidays, 40, gorgeous parks right across the state. Oh, yeah, it's fantastic. Perfect for the next family adventure. Maybe a trip with your mates. Great contributions this week, Darko. Always good. But we go back to some great ones today with your Louvre High. songs. Yes, honourable mentions, thank you.

We've got a big gang now, which might be hard to get as many mopeds. I feel like we're going to get caught. I might have to shed a few of those. That's right. We've all seen Babs trying to, you know, do parkour. I don't know if she's getting away from the coppers. Have you seen Shagga's trying to do a forwards roll? It isn't great. It is not great.

But he'll have Billy Elish pumping in the air pods. He'll be having a good time. He's a bad guy. So thank you to all those contributions. But earlier in the week, Ducker, you were telling us about your father-in-law. Yeah, he changed every setting in my car from seat. from seat moving back, seat moving down, made my radio on AM, but then he moved my steering wheel hot.

For a 10-minute commute, he was just dropping someone around the corner. I said it was the most disrespectful act someone can do, and we asked for your disrespectful acts. Yeah, now I don't know where you're stacking up your father-in-law's. Disrespectful act after we heard Jenny's, but this is what she told us. So, technically, ex-mother-in-law, I was, you know, just new mom, having a baby. she and I was at

Tamworth Hospital so little hospital and she was a midwife she decided that she wanted to come in and see what was happening without asking and I had my feet up in the stirrup oh so she was like like you're in labour yes I was in labour

she was like I'm just going to come in and see what's going on left the door open and the cleaners that were walking half decided to stop and have a look as well. If you're going to come and poke your head in down, at least close, check this one out. Or at least come and help. They're just come and sticky beak. You're a midwife.

Jenny, congratulations. That nosy mother-in-law has won you the call of fame. Oh, that's awesome. My kids will be so excited. You can tell her, hey, just because you came and perved on me while I was giving birth. Yeah, you're not invited. Yeah, we've got a reflection. But thanks for the story.

Yeah. It's definitely not invited. Thanks, we're getting involved in the show, Jenny. We appreciate you. Oh, thank you so much, guys. We're the best. Hey, yeah, we are back Monday. You're the best, Jenny.

Yeah. We're back Monday. Another great call of fame. Well, this is the thing, Ducko. I've got my two-year-old birthday party on Sunday, so you might be flying solo. The content creator arrives early. We have Luchise and Rose A two tastes. Are you supplying food?

Yeah. Angus wants to do... That's a dumb question. Are you supplying party bags? Now, ah, contentious. I wasn't going to. Oh, no, we need a party bag. You want a party bag?

Yeah, sort of. Angus was very happy when I took that off the shopping list. Oh, no, no. Shy guy, are you coming, shy? You're coming. Is Babes going? Babes is coming? As I live and breathe.

My dad. So my parents. That's keeping me company. I'll be there with Flo, mate, and Morgan. Flo will be enjoying the animals and going down the slide, I imagine. Yeah, it's had a... Oh, my God. Breathe the invite.

Bloody hell. Duccoe. Well, it was last minute invite. Not last minute, but you did give it to a screen. You've talked about on air without talking to about it. Well, I didn't know if you'd be comfortable. Yeah. But you're coming.

Ducker. My parents are on Roos. Yeah, great. They are in to stay, but my mum is in charge of the cake. My dad texts me as $7.50 this morning. They don't fly till three. Jess, don't come with your Mini Cooper. We are coming with three to four pieces of luggage each.

Bring the Santa Fe. So Angus and I are going to have to swap cards. Actually, that's good. Even the Santa Fe might not be big enough. I need towing capacity. I need food space because my mum is bringing all the equipment to make the cake and has even sent me the link to the good guys because we've got to go shopping for the mixer she wants.

Oh, jeez, you're fine. She's like, I won't bring my mixer, we'll just go buy you a mixer. And what am I going to do with a mixer? Mom. She goes, make a cake. Will you keep that now then? So you'll have it? So if you ever want to make a cake, I'll have a mixer.

I will never make a cake in Oregon. I don't think that's not going to suit me. So anyway, the Facioni's are in bare. They're in bare. This is their inbound song. For the big party this weekend. Yeah. Hey, uh, as we...

I have a question. Oh, there you go. Do we expect us to buy a gift? Your presence is present enough. Oh, my boss. They buy a gift. Well, you mean bad? Hey, Morgan and I getting something today.

I would have thought there would have been a group. Are you going to put her on gift? Well, because initially they weren't invited. You know that. So, yeah. So then I was like, do I include them? Or do you not like that? Because I'm sort of like, you know, pretending they're there, but they're not.

We can go in on something. I'd like to see. Jess, Morgan and I were going to get something today. Do you want them to chip in? Yeah, well, it means it's bigger, right? Well, that's exactly it, you know? It's up to you.

I was actually going to get that photo of Lucia holding the pin in the studio yesterday framed and just say, with love. And then on the back is a headshot of you. Yours faithfully, the duck man. However, you want to contribute to the park? Otherwise, that's a big yes, mate. If you're not present, you don't get to walk over the party bag.

No bonbonniery for you. Hey, we're back next week. We have a great co-phone. That's sorry, that's what we're getting to. I might not be here. You've got Mariah, though. And when you do hear Mariah contribute alongside Ducko, you can win a great, great prize.

Hunter Valley Garner's Christmas Light Spectacular Experience Plus Accommodation plus spending money. Wow. Way to get into the festive spirit, the week of Halloween. We're out of here. We'll see you Monday. Bye-bye.

When you drive past a truck, you don't know if it's full or empty inside. Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The Boo Bucket's Happy Meal is back this Halloween at Maccas.