Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | thats my sperm

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

Producer Babs goes through things Millennials do that annoy her, Ducko hits us with a fact about your knees and we go through you povo meals!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new spicy Frank's red hot sauce range has arrived at Maccas. Jess and Douggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall to poll. Re-living the day, yeah. Podcast, fuck yeah. Welcome.

Hello. Yeah, Tuesday morning. What a day? Well, we're recording this on Tuesday. This could be any time of day or whatever date for you. I wonder how far back people would go. If you're shy guys, Mom, you're living two weeks in the past. Oh, that's true.

Yeah. Like, is anyone next year? Like, is it 2026 and someone's listening to this on the 28th of October, 2025? Oh, yeah, could be. I wonder how far back people would scroll. Because we touch on so many topical things. I feel like it would annoy me. It would be annoying.

Listening too far. It was all personal staff. No worries. It's a reverent. You know, some of our topical things today, though. I mean, the Chinese dating apps, that could go whenever. Yeah, happiness thing could go whenever. You know what I mean?

We never got to that. They're just things. They aren't just things. They just exist. They just exist. And these articles probably came out two years ago as well. We didn't cover Chris Martin dating, you know. Sophie Turner.

Of course, a queen's sons are from Game of Thrones. Which is what? 19 year age gap. Yeah. Is it actually confirmed or have they just been like rumored? Have they been packed holding hands? I don't know. We didn't cover it.

Confirmed? I don't think it's, I don't know. I just saw it all over Instagram yesterday. Wait a minute. What happened with him and Dakota Johnson? I thought they were. They separated. Will they engaged?

Or they were in marriage? I thought they're engaged. Holy moly. I actually miss that. But yeah, no, they separated. Oh, Chris. Oh, my God. Okay, Mari, Clara, saying that they're dating, so that's...

No, that works. Well, that's a source I will have to rely on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, Angus tried to show me a clip from a Jonas Brothers concert. He goes, look at Joe Jonas. I was like, what are you doing? He goes, he's got it going on. I was like, I thought Nick was the sexy one.

Can't tell him apart. Joe's the one in Jumangi? No, that's Nick. Oh, yeah, I thought Nick was too. He hasn't got a bit of the Nickelodeon. He's a bit clean cut, good boy. Joe Jonas, now he's divorced from Sophie Turner. Mate, he's wearing bloody tank tops on stage.

He's got this magnetic. Oh, he was one with Sophie Turner. He was the one with Sophie Turner. He's got this magnetic energy. I must say, very good life. And then there's the loser brother in the background on Qatar. Kevin. Kevin, what a deal.

I feel so bad for Kevin. He's like the bass player of the band. He is. I think he like, doesn't he like write the music and like keeps the band to float? but the other two just have the other two don't need it. They're like, oh, mate, fuck off Kevin. Kevin never did anything solo like the other two. He's such a big fat loser.

I don't think he can really sing that one. Oh, that's not his fault. It's like the other Hemsworth. Like everyone always has one that they just go, ah. But there's also a fourth Jonas brother. What? Yeah, did you not know that? Younger.

Younger, I think his name's Frankie. Frankie Jonas. Maybe. Brother. Check that. Does he, he doesn't sing? No, he's not. I don't think so.

He's not a minute. There must be, because it's Kevin Nick Joe in order of age. Frankie is the name. I thought it was... The bonus Jonas is what he's dubbed out. Oh, who's that guy? Look at that guy. He is a team of Jonas brother.

Bonus Jonas is hilarious. And also his name's not Frankie. It's Franklin. I mean, what I think he goes by Frankie. He goes by Frankie. I don't care what he goes by. Your mum called you Franklin. His TikTok is Frankie.

She hates you. He wanted to change his name. He changed it to Frankie from Franklin because he wanted to feel more adult courageous. And align with who he is today. Is Franklin a turtle? Yeah, Franklin is it, Franklin's tail with the glasses. Franklin.

To call your kid Franklin, you must not like them. You can't call, like, even Kevin, that's a very grown-up adult name. Nicholas, Joseph. He's not listening. I know he's not listening. Sorry, sorry. I was reading Kevin hadn't sung a live concert before the August, 2025 Boston show. So Kevin doesn't really sing.

Wait a minute. He hadn't sung live before 2025. Yeah, so he's just playing the guitar. What was your line? I missed it. Go again. So we were talking about names. It's like, you've got Kevin, which is a normal name.

You know, then you're Frank. And Babs goes. I said, oh, Nick's a shit one. And you didn't listen. You were too busy reading about Frank. I get it. I get it. But how do you call your kids Kevin, Nicholas Joseph, Frankl?

I know. That's just cruel. I know. Well, there you go. They're not. Oh, this is dumb. They're not. Yeah.

Here we go. Finish the thought. Nepo family. No, triplets. They're not triplets. No, no, no, no, I don't think so. They're all different ages, aren't they? Yeah.

That's not that dumb of a question. Yeah, you've said dumber. You've definitely said dumber. We've all said dumber on this show. When a truck drives past, you don't know what's empty. It's light or it's four. And how do you know what's empty? When the truck drives past, pants.

You know what are you talking like, I'm the blue trucks in Bob the Builder? You know who would have that thought, Frankl and the turtle. It's really complex. How you do you talk? Bye. But what was it new? You answered too fast for a turn. It's an accurate shy guy impression.

Sounds like the Ed guy from Monsters. Coming, mother. What? Meet her. Yeah, that's fucking Nick. I'm going to go get us a soda pop. Meet her now. Is that that that trackdoor show?

No, that's the new season of monsters on Netflix. You know the Jeffrey Dahmer? No. No, okay. Well, now I sound like a good dicket. I have I enjoyed this. But I was enjoying you just going on a quote. It's a serial killer.

Yes. Ed Guy, or whatever his name is. And that's how he talks in the show. Do you know who's playing that? That hot guy? Yeah, it's his name. Don't watch it. It's gross.

How is he? He's gorgeous. Charlie Hunman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, gets you going. I thought I liked Scott Eastwood. I think I like Charlie Hunman now. Who's your celebrity crush?

I don't really have one anymore. It was. I know was Emma Watson. Not anymore. That was a long time ago. Oh, man, modern day. Who's your Charlie Hunman? Sydney Sweeney.

Oh, you're like a Sydney Swiny. Tits and ass, man. Tits and ass. Pussy, pussy. I love her on Saturday Night Live. You just set back everyone. Why don't you like Sydney Sweet? Why can't I like her?

Oh, that's just typical. Oh, she's a trap. Okay, sorry, Sabrina Carpenter maybe. Who, um. Because you like somber. Who's your celebrity crush? Who's your celebrity crowd? Someone's a three-quartered gene.

Yeah, probably. And you know what? Yep, I do. Typical. Chagga, who's your celebrity crush? Emma Watson? It's still Emma Watson. So impersonating a war.

our... Oh, not Hermione. It's just so funny that you and we have the same. Yeah, I've always saw that. Baffles me. That's funny. And then me and the other guy who sat in that very chair. He's...

Exactly. Really? Yeah. Maybe it's the chair. It could be. I liked it in high school. Yeah, I was high school. I was big high school.

Yeah, but you're a Hermione fan because you grew up at the same sort of time. I don't really have anyone now like that I could think of that I'd really go. That's a good looking rooster. Yeah. It's because we're happily married. Well, that's so true. Does Charlie Hunman do it for you? Yeah, Charlie does.

Oh, fuck yeah. Timothy Shalamala. Really? Shalamala bing bong. No. Is that yours? Yeah, is that yours? I can see you finding him, huh?

No, I don't. You don't actually answer who yours is. Yeah, he's all right. Okay. Who's the Sally guy? Oh, yeah, like role model. Yeah, you're like a thin boy, don't you? A guy.

Because you know the song, When the White. With Sally. Yeah, you like a, yeah. A wispy pub beer. You'd be a Tom Holland. Do you like Tom Holland? Oh, no. Tom Holland's too clean cut.

Hang on. Tom and Timothy are the same in my eyes. See, Timothy's probably a bit more, not rugged's the wrong word, but he's, he's a bit more ratty. He's more ratty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Holland's too clean-cut. Yes, yes, yes. Timothy is ratty and we all know rat hot had its time.

Had it's time, yeah. I'm trying to find this guy. Yeah, great. I want to see, I've got an image in my head of what I think you'd like. It can't be that famous if it's taking this long to find a photo. It actually is. They don't have like full. I'm doing that thing where it's like, no, I need to find a good friend.

Yeah. Is that guy? Role model? Yeah, yeah, I could see. He has, like, tacks and wears, like, the singlets and stuff. Yeah, I could see that. Do you know who else I like? Terrence Howard.

Oh, Terrence Howard. That's random. Oh, my God. Crash. You see the movie crashed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is he from a big mama's house? He's the big mama.

He is, right? Is he in Big Mama's house? No, not, not, um. Oh, wait. No, you're thinking of the guy in Bad Boys. No, he's a big mom is here. He's a guy in Big Mother's house. Can you see?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Terran, look at the eyes. Terrence Howard. Did you get into Empire? No, I didn't actually. Oh, see, I liked Empire. Yeah, yeah. He plays, uh, Lester.

You like Steve Bishimi as well? I don't like Steve Bishimi as well. I don't like Steve Boucher. Is he in? Is he here? Is that him? Is it what? The New Telstra ad.

They got Steve Bouchini. Really? Yeah. You know the ones in the, they're in like the spaceship? There's played a lot during the NRL grandfather. They're in the spaceship and they're like, can we? Yeah, but they play that. They're trying to like get like into Earth or something.

Yeah, there was like a virus into Earth. Oh, is he the aliens. And then it's like blocked by Keltra. Yeah, that. I don't even know what that is. But it... I didn't think it was him. It is.

I did. I looked at that. Click the little, um, the little noise. I don't think I'll be on here because... The peoples of Australia will soon know the full genius of our evil power. That's not him, is it? It is. I haven't seen the full thing.

This is just. I think it is him. What? His voice. Yes, Steve Bisham is in the recent Telstraad. His eyes don't look as as wonky as they usually. He's got a fucking testicle head.

He does have the prosthetics on. He's all dressed up in makeup. He looks like something at a Star Trek. And he's basically going to start a shit. Because you know him on like Mr. Deeds? Look at the production value. It's huge. I've only seen the 20-second version on the TV.

This was not filmed in Australia. Okay, what was the one rule I said we had to remember when launching the greatest creation of an entire species. Don't target a mighty network. Oh my God. It's a long hat. I guess we forgot.

Surely they have shortened versions of this. I've only seen this one. I'm curious to see how it's it. Stop. Nobody cares. Blocking millions of cyber threats every day. Telstra. That's why I'm with Telstra guys.

The pain for Steve Bushebysville. Oh my God, it is even in the caption. That's right. That has really wigged me out. There you go. There you go. Telscher's just got a free ad for two minutes. Yeah, you've been really good.

Apologies so you had to see it through that. And then you'll have to... We'll delete that out, Shogga. Nah. We might be... Can we get Steve Bouchemmy on the show? Yeah, I'd love to chat to Steve Bichemy. I would love to.

Yeah. I'll reach out to our new good friends at Telstra. Yeah. I'm Vodafone. Oh, well, that's why we can't do it. Who's in their ads? Hello, can you hear me? Who's in there ad?

Can you hear me? It's just a red slideshow, is it? Get Vodafone. Have you heard of Microsoft paint? Have you checked your inbox? There's probably an ad. Ducco, can you be in our ad?

We've heard you mention us. Not in positive. You'll be your only one who mentions us. Please. You're with your father in the... Last time you talked about it was because you're at the... Kendrit tickets. Yeah, that's right.

I'm going to that show because I got my tickets through... Hey, they still might not work. Who knows? When is that? December... Three or four or something like that. I think that's when I met Lady Gaga. What a big weekend for music.

Mine's got a Tuesday night. Oh, okay. No, mine's going to roll down there Tuesday and roll back Tuesday night. for the show when's that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Take the day if you need. That'll be fun.

Oh, okay. Give me 6'10 the day before, which you'll hear in this podcast, and I'll try and get a day off like someone who's team did. People need days, take days. That's not what you said to me two days ago. No, it's not. That's a lie. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got that shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up. I'm not that easy to hang. Yes. When you sign old ladies' boobes, you stretch the skin out to avoid the wrinkles. I ain't got to explain. Ducco.

Oh, sweetie. Oh, what do you smell your armpits, I want it? Got him going insane. Yeah. When you drive past a truck, you don't know if it's full or empty inside. Fast. People were definitely watching. Oh, yeah, talk it.

This is Jess and Taco. Right on 6 o'clock. Hey, welcome to Tuesday team. Good morning. Oh, here we are. Mate, we're days away from Halloween. Are we starting to feel spooky? Creepy. I'm seeing a lot more decorations out and about.

There is a few, actually. I've noticed a couple getting around. Creepy, creepy. The neighbourhood, lots of cobwebs and fake graves. Yes. The anticipation for me, not so much around Halloween, Ducko, but this weekend, I forgot. I'm seeing Ricky Martin. Oh, geez. Well, I've got to tell you, I've got to switch me my mind.

Switching my mindset. Will Ricky give you a trick or a treat? Oh, that's a good question. Well, me and my mum will be in the crowd. Let's find out. I live in the Vita Loew. car with Ricky. Did he sell out? Surely not. I bought

tickets that long ago. I didn't have to scramble. You were messaging all of us like, guys, you in line for Ricky? Everyone's like, no. Hey, Ducko, are you free? Can you get three laptops open just in case I don't get the tickets? You're in the green room for Ricky. And I was like, oh, I think you'll be alright. If it's just me and my mum, I won't be mad about it.

Yeah, yeah. It probably will just be you and your mum. That's who it'll be. No, people love him. Yeah. He's a big one. He's got his niche, you know. He's fan base. Yes. He's got a fan base.

He does. He does. Look, I was never in it, but I appreciate that there will be a lot of people, maybe your mum's age. That's what I think. I'll be surprised if I'm not the youngest by a mile. Do you like him from when you grew up? Absolutely, because mum just had him on all the time. You know, while she's doing the vacuuming, she had a bit of shebangs.

She had a bit of Liv and Lovita Loka. So I think it was just permeated as a part of my childhood. Birerica. Well, that'll be exciting. It will be. What are you excited? I'm excited for today this fine Tuesday. Geez, you know, I'm excited to be here with the tent with my pals, you know?

Yes, you're pumped up. With shy guy, with Babs, with you. Fantastic. Geez, we're all just here in it. Absolutely. We were dusty yesterday. We were a bit slow yesterday. We were.

It just did feel, it felt like a hangover. It did. It did. My parents chuffed off yesterday. I had a full night sleep. I'm ready and rare. You're good to go. We're good to go.

You got them out of the state and now you feel better. And now you're going to see your mum this weekend. Is that too close between drinks? It's got to be. To be honest, she, um, so we had, obviously, our last day together. I thought, oh, God, they're going to want to do stuff with the baby together. You know, we don't see each other that often. And she went, I've booked an appointment in to see your bra lady.

Can you drop me off for an hour and a half? I went, okay, no worries. Fantastic. Did your dad do you do it? She was obviously sick of us. Yeah, yeah. Dad and I took the little one to the park and swung on the swings. Both just sat there silently.

So I think my mom was sick of us, too. She's like, I need to get away from you people. Yeah. Oh, the good Italian family. You overfill the cup, dung, and then you need to have your time apart. Well, my parents are currently, they live in Brisbane. They had that big storm on Sunday night. They've still got no power.

Stop it, really. All the trees are down. They sent us photos last night. They were eating dinner with candles. Well, how romantic for them. Yeah, no. They were still eating with candles. Is it all good structurally?

Yeah, yeah, the house is fine. What did they cook without power? Actually, don't know. I don't know. They had the Barbie. They had the Barbie with the game. Oh, yeah, they did have that, they had the little webber. A couple of snags by the handside.

I didn't see a barbecue fall off someone's balcony. Yeah, yeah. I should have fire. Did everyone I see that? Yeah, yeah. Literally flew off the deck on the Queenslander through the Ballastray thing. Oh my God. Horrible.

I was going to say, we copse and win yesterday, but nothing that blew the Weber off the balcony. No, it was a big storm there on Sunday. Because all my family were texting the family group chat like, oh my God, are you okay? Oh, trees down, power's out. And I was like, I'm at a second birthday party. Yeah, yeah. Is everyone surviving? It's sunny here.

Yeah. So anyway, you know, they are. They can't tune in today because I've got no power. Okay. Mom sent me a text saying, Dad's phone has officially died. If you need anything, I'm down on 10%. Oh, of course, I can't charge.

I know. I don't have a generator or anything. Okay, fair enough. How annoying is losing power for multiple days? I think they just need to get in the caravan and get out of there. Well, that's what I said. Yeah. Get that caravan, you know, it's got to be a solar, just go up the coast.

Right, live off grid. You basically are. Yeah. So you may as well go have an adventure up. Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, thoughts and prayers to all our friends up north. I know. Spare a thought for my parents.

Bear a thought. You know, romantic candlelight dinners. How are you today, Mr. Shilard? Yeah, good. You're going well? You got a little pep in your step today. Do I? What is actually on your necklace?

What is that? Is that a shark tooth? No, it's just a regular chain. Chain, right. Just the one chain, not a two chains? Chain is probably the right word. I'm not that cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you done colour analysis? No, we talked about this off air, didn't we? We did. I definitely have them. I was going to say, how did you land on silver with your colour and not gold? Oh. He's a silver dream. I can see him being a silver guy.

Yeah. He doesn't suit gold. Do you think gold is a bit too ethnic? Bit too. For this pastey. I've never got a chain vibe. I've never experienced it. Yeah, I just looked it.

You went through the shark tooth for a little bit. Obviously. Like all good teenage boys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. But I was going to say, yours doesn't have any sentimental value. None. None.

It's just you and a chain, baby. No, I got a gift card for Michael Hill and I used it. That's simple as that. Who got you a gift card for my grandma? Grandma? That doesn't feel like someone who knows you. I can't remember. Yeah, the Michael Hill give cut.

How much is a gold chain? I think it's like a hundred and some... Jesus. Under 200 more than 100, somewhere in there. Maybe we should all get matching show chains. But I got on like a Black Friday thing. Oh, Black Friday's coming up. Isn't that in November?

There you go. So we used to have a little outfit for winter. We had matching trackies, a matching hoodie, thanks to our mates at LSKD. Do you reckon we moved to summer to matching jewellery? I don't think I could do it. Nah, I don't see you as a... I'm not a chain guy. You wear your wedding ring every day.

Yeah, I wear my ring, yeah. You're a little gold run. If I wore a chain, no. It's not my vibe, I don't think. I don't think so. And you would need gold, I think, just because how tanned you are and you're colouring. I don't think silver is your vibe. And you don't get lost on me.

And you don't mix medals. Like, your wedding ring is gold. I don't think you can have a silver chain. Parpets got to match the drapes, you know? True words, whatever spoken. I see. Okay. Babs, how do you feel about team chains?

Yeah. I mean, sure. I wear jewelry every day, so. Do you? And she is a silver girlie. You're silver. Yeah, I mean, it's the skin tone. Yeah.

What are you, gold? A gold. I mean, come on. Come on, hello. You've got my big gold cross. I'm where the rosary beads every day for protection. Obviously. Hey, we do have a big show.

As always, though. Course Alphabox. Now, new time. 7 a.m. We're playing at 7 a.m. all this week, seeing how that goes. And 8am. So, still get two cracks at $10,000.

Felt good yesterday. Let's see out the week. It did feel good. 04-A-W1069. You got any feedback. Yeah. Do you want to jump? Hey, we'll take your course.

We'll take your course. I've also got the Hunter Valley Gardens. Christmas light, spectacular. You're listening out for Mariah Carey. You get accommodation. You get tickets to that. You get spending money. She popped in just after a conversation we had around 8.15 yesterday.

What time will she pop up today? Could be now. Up next, so, Shagga. It's not often he does this, but he's taking the board and he said, I want to speak to you guys. He said, I need the top. I need the top. I need the top. Duck you go to the bottom.

Is it a request? Is it a favour? Is it feedback? Nah, I'll tell you next. Oh, Shagas got you next. Jess and Ducko Shy guy He's crowbarred a bit of time with the team

Yeah he said I want 10 minutes Yeah couldn't give us a... I don't need 10 It's okay We'll be out of here in 4 and a half I reckon Ooh okay Challenge accepted You're on the clock big guy

What are you got for us All right Last year I booked something in With my dad's side of the family And I've made an administrative error Oh here we go And I'm going to request That I have this Friday off the show

Okay Sorry I didn't realize Babbs had walked into the studio I just got wigged out for a second. We're doing on-air, on-air show requests to get off. I like this. So what is it, though? What are you doing? I, yeah, pitch it to us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We are a table and when one of the legs disappears, that's a wobbly table. Yes, yeah. But this table trusts that the rest of the table will be fine. Well, the rest of the table will decide that. That's right. I'm feeling a bit wobbly. So I'm going to cruise for a weekend.

Hang on, are you back? No. What is happening? Hang on, is shy guy just playing, you know, like when you need someone to step in for you? What's that called? You know what I'm saying? Is this actually a Babbs request? The shy guy's gone, I'll just do it. I'll take the bullets.

And the Babbs comes in tomorrow and goes, I too am off on Friday. No, he comes on Friday, but she doesn't. So you've booked a cruise with your... Last year, dad's side of the family. Everyone's going. It's like, I don't know, 20 of us. What are you celebrating? Is it a...

Is it a Babbs kind of cruise? A swingers cruise? Yeah. No. It just goes out and then comes back. It's a weekender. That's what the swingers cruise is doing. It doesn't matter where you go.

It's just what happens on the ship. There's no laws out at it safe. I thought it was from Friday to Sunday and I thought I could go under the radar. Oh, you wouldn't have told us. You would never have told me. I would have come back on a Monday going, what are you doing, Shaka? Oh, we're on the cruise. No, you would have gone, nothing.

That's right. Hey, what are you doing this weekend? Not much. Let me see photos of you drinking from coconuts. I'm like, what? Yeah. On the other. Luke's Instagram account.

But then I was talking to my dad and he was like, you ready for the cruise and stuff? And I'm like, yep. And he's like, so we leave Thursday album and I'm like, oh. What are you celebrating? If this was booked in so long ago. Yeah, it was just an idea. You're a skiing family. That doesn't fit.

We are skiing family. It's just an idea. Yeah, all your activities should be kept to winter. Yeah. What is this? Cruises are an interesting one because remember Babs came on and she came off and said I probably won't hurry back on. Yeah.

Oh, that's right. Was it for your mum's birthday? You had a big family cruise. Yes. I don't think there's some, it's just like a catch-up on a boat. I don't think there's any milestones. No, you're going to see some interesting creatures on that thing going for a couple of days. Because really, what's the alternative, ducco?

They're all going on the Thursday. If we say, no, you've got to come the Friday. Does he have to get a little dingy and roll himself out to the cruise liner? Yeah, no, we can do that. I think that's... I, Captain, we've got Mr. Shy guy. Yeah. You know, like, you could get a chopper, fly you to the boat or just row.

Can we put that bill then? Can you take the kit and do the show from there for a. No, no. International. I don't know the cost of Wi-Fi. You know how expensive it is on a boat? What is it? It's like $90 a day.

Can't you be right. Concord? Yeah, work will cover it. Petty cash, surely, petty cash. It would be sweet. Do you still have the boss's credit card from when he had to pay for our photo shoot last week? Yeah, I'll save it to my Apple pay for future. Yeah, there's a work expense.

I just want to, okay, you can go on this and have you a Friday off on your family swingers' cruise. I just don't know if I can do my job without him. I want content from this. That's sweet. I want at least three bits of content next week. That's not. Over three separate days. Can I add, also, I want a voice memo. Send, because remember we asked Babs, when you're on the cruise, send us an update.

Yeah, we'll get one. So I want a voice memo from the cruise Friday morning. It's a Thursday, either. Yeah, we can do that. Also, you're disqualified from participating in bangers. Let's just get it out there. Oh, he's gone. I don't want any.

And wear pine apples and just see what happens. Oh, no, I don't know. See what you find. Just leave your cabin door open the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See who wanders. in. Have a few mugger readers for us, you know?

Sure. We really need to do a show, Cruise. I know. Because now Babs done a family one. Yeah. You and I are missing? Have you guys ever been on a cruise? Never been on a cruise. Maybe we should do a show from a cruise. Yeah, I think. Well, I mean, if Wi-Fi is that expensive. Oh, no, we'll take our own satellite for that.

Oh, of course we will. Not for little old me, though. Yes and Ducko. Taylor Swift. Bit of Opelite. Hit breakfast. Jess and Ducko 623. Shagai, actually, Jess. saying that that album's growing on him finally. He's enjoying a bit of Taylor.

Okay. He's bop it along. You like the opalite? Is that what gotcha? He's converted babes. He's liking it. Hmm. What was that reaction?

I don't know. What does that mean? I don't know either. I still think her best work is yet to come. Oh, what would be? Wow. I think that if she breaks up with Travis, that album will be killer. Oh, yeah.

That'll top everything. Yeah, that'll just I love that, we're watching this space, Taylor Swift. She hasn't done an hour. That's the next stage, the breakup stage. Pin this, you heard it hear from Shy Lords. Yeah. What?

Keep it locked. Right now, guys, do you want to duck over to China with me? With pleasure. Always fun to be here, particularly to be in Chongqing in China. Love that. Because every Friday and Saturday morning in Chongqing, hundreds of people pack into Hilltop Park. Just wanted to.

Why would you? Come on. Obviously named after Hilltop Hoods. Has just batted that up for you. The hoods are massive in China. You love the hoods. I love Ozzy Hip Hop, baby. They're in Bous and S-O.

Hell yeah. Bit draft. So here I am. Getting tickets to Ricky Martin. There you are playing the Hilltop Houds. We're just doing our bit for music. Ozzy hip-hop is my dirty, guilty pleasure. You love it.

Yeah. Anyway, they go to Hilltop Park every weekend because they have a real-life version of dating apps. Instead of people swiping and instead of it being online, retirees, like mums and dads who want their kids to find love and get married, rock up with dating profiles, and they do a thing called Zingquanjau,

which translates to Matchmaking Corner, of course. Hang on, so all the parents go to this park? Yes. With what printout and pitch of their children? Paper resumes of their children. Like a notice board. So paper resumes of dating profiles, they have things like gender, age, height,

job they want in a partner, weight, earnings, whether their parents have pensions. Oh my God. So it's almost like the family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you be married. But it doesn't have photo of the person.

Let's say I go and it's my son. Doesn't have photo of the son. Okay, just. It's got what he does, what I've done, how much money we've got, what he can, what his best qualities are, what his worst qualities are. So I'm basically a salesperson for my kid. Correct. And I'm pitching them out to find him wife.

Because there's obviously an aging population in China. 6.1 million couples registered for marriage, but there's a billion people. So it's down 21. Oh my God, that actually is a very stark contrast, isn't it? No one's having kids, it's aging, so there's all these incentives for them to have kids. There's an older woman apparently no one is a sister gal who goes each week with dozens of profiles for attendees to browse. Like, she is like... Oh, she's queen matchmaker.

Yeah, exactly. She doesn't just have like 100 grandkids. Exactly. She's just, all right. She's paid to go with these profiles and go, I got a, what are you got? Oh, you got a guy who's got no tattoos? I got someone who also has no tattoos. Let's put these together.

Oh, my God, are you a dog person or a cat person? I got two cat people. Exactly. You guys. And then what's the, is it the parents exchange numbers and then the children are meant to take it up? Kind of like arranged marriage. Wow. So one woman's profile included her monthly salary that she owns a house in a car. She has needs for her spouse to be under 29 years old and under 5 foot 8 and weigh 145 pounds with no bad habits.

This is a, no bad habits. That's a little blanket. If I wasn't taken, I met, I'm a match that to the box. I've got a few bad habits. Part from that, though. And I'm a bit old than 29. Apart from that. Apart from that, I think you're this woman's soul page.

I'm small. You want a short one? That's amazing. Yeah, it's pretty wild. I did read, and I think we covered it here on the show, that the dating apps are on the decline. People just aren't trusting them anymore. Everyone's just wham-bam, thank you, ma'am.

Is this the new era of dating app? Well, it could be. It's real life, but it's your parents get involved. It does say, though, marriage market success stories are largely unheard of, yet the event remained very heavily attended, usually just for an excuse for Atari's to hang out and gossip. I'll just go.

Oh, just bitch about their kids. Oh, look at them. They haven't found anyone for Tim yet. Oh. Jess and Ducko. A happiness expert is trending this week, Ducko. Oh, sorry, sorry. Hey, go.

We need a beat, I think, for sweet babes. We need to wake her up. Happiness and Habits expert. Her name is Gretchen Rubin. She's the author of seven. best-selling books on how to live your best life. What are they what books? Based on, based on habit.

Okay. Habit changes, habit formation, just leaning into happiness, okay? She says the key to happiness is vanquishing one enemy of humanity. Right. Procrastination. She says procrastination is the thing standing in all of our ways, okay? To living our best, most productive, most happy life. Right.

Do you think you suffer from procrastination? You're a go-getter. Like, you can energize a bunny. I can't see you just twiddling your thumbs. I don't procrastinate often. No, if I ever need to do something, I will get the task done. Exactly. Are you a to-do list person?

Yeah, I do do a bit of a to-do list because I get a bit overwhelmed with so many things. And what I'll do is I'll laterally do things that, like, I don't need to do it at that time. But then I'll start a task and stop and start another task. But I'll get them done. In the process of completing one task, you come across another task. And then you go, I'll just quickly do these. And they go, oh, that's more of a red flag. That's urgent.

I'll just chuck that one in there. I don't need to reorganise the time. Tupperware draw right now, but because I'm unstacking the dishwasher and I've opened the Tupperware drawer, I probably should go find all the lids for these things. 100%. I tried to become a list person because usually other habit people say the to-do list, write it down, start of your day or even the night before, write it down, it's clear, it's concise, prioritised those tasks.

But I just was finding it got to 6 o'clock, 7 o'clock, there'd be three things left to tick off, and then I just feel like a failure. So I've completely eliminated the to do-o-list. You always see yourself achievable. Like, go to toilet. Bang, I don't want to do that today. Mate, I've done that twice already. I feel good.

Ask colleague how day was. I feel like. No follow-ops. But what Gretchen Rubin is saying, the key to a vanquishing procrastination, if you are feeling overwhelmed, distracted or indecisive is assess every task in front of you. Can I do this in less than 60 seconds?

Yes, I can. Well, I'm going to do it right now. And you just go about your day that way. Right. She goes, by that stage, by midday, you'll have 100 tasks ticked off. And that feeling of achievement will set you up for happiness. So it is literally just setting up minimal tasks. Minimal tasks.

She goes, even if it is a big job, like maybe you're trying to write a book. Or move house or something. Or move house. That's obviously not going to take less than a minute. But what will take less than a minute, I don't know, unpacking a box and taping it up ready for you to go, you know, from flat pack into it structural. That'll take less than a minute. minute, that counts.

And then the next task... And then what about like, you know, I need to pack this, I need to pack this. Long term, I need to call that person. I need to cancel the energy bill. She's saying break it all down into one minute things. And that way you'll feel really productive. You're on the phone to origin?

Hey, I've been on hold for 25 minutes. I'm going to cancel. It's fine. I've got to tick this 25 times off my list because that'll make me feel happy and positive and productive. Okay. So look about, look at your day. It's going to look like a long day ahead in one minute increments.

Okay. Babs, you've got. that. Let's turn that frown upside down. Yeah, turn that tunnel vision into one minute increments. What are we going to do? What are we ticking off for you next? My blog.

Oh my God, don't sound so excited about it. Hold on. Dad, you just want to tease that again. What's up next, Babs? My blog. All right, Borat. Jess and Ducko. Hey, it's Babs, and this is my blog.

Commence Operation Superstar Brat. I don't know if she's slaying as much today as she has Batlin. Yeah. She's up against it this morning. Tunnel vision today. Tunnel vision? No, my eyes are sore. That's what I meant by that.

I'm fine. Okay. We'll take your word for it. Well, you brought in notes to read, so you're going to be all right to get through those? Yeah, it should be okay. If not, I'll pass it to Shagga. You can say, go back.

Okay. We're all tilted today. Shagga's going on a swingers cruise on Friday. I know. Oh, he's your proxy. Thursday afternoon, actually, but anyway. I'm so sorry. He's already logged the leave, Tucker.

What have you got for us today, sweet babes? So, a list has come out of the top things millennials do that give people the ick. Here we go. You're having a go, a duck on one eye. Yes. Here we go. Here we go.

All right. So number one, ominous punctuation, which is no surprise. So this is the, you know, like the periods of doom and you're getting a shore or thanks very, you know, with a full stop. Yes, with a full stop or like, Gen Z doesn't like punctuation. Yeah, right. So that's no surprise. Exclamation. I do a lot of exclamation marks.

Yeah. Does that soften it for you? I think you like the energy from an exclamation. Yes. I think exclamation marks are good. Okay, there you go. Over emphasis on appearances. So they're saying that you guys, rather than listening to your favourite artist

or going to a music festival, you think that you need to focus on making a good Instagram post more. Than enjoying the moment. Yes. So it's all about like aesthetics and posting on Instagram. Wouldn't that be anyone? I was going to say, Chen Z on their tiki-tocky. Yeah, yeah. Just because I hire a content creator for my...

Yeah, for kids' birthday. Yeah, what? I'm sorry, what? But that, but that to me is so I can enjoy the moment and not be worrying about my parents having a picture with the kid so I can be in the moment. We should all hide content creators for everything we do. That way we can all enjoy the moment. Exactly, we're not worried about it.

Would you say it's less admin though, worrying about a photo to get for Instagram rather making a real or like a video for TikTok? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Good one, Doc. Let's labor intensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You stop, like, countering me.

No, no, yeah. The next one is passive-aggressive-aggressive lingo. So, like, work lingo especially, like, replying to emails with her, my last email. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just circling back to this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently it stresses out a lot of people. Rounding out.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gentle nudge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. B, C-sing someone in, like. Yeah, always you can say it's like the boss. Yeah, absolutely. Start's getting a little icky. Yeah, yeah.

I'm getting competitive about generations. So, preparing us to Gen Z and. saying that we haven't, you know, you can't be struggling because when I was younger, this happened. It's always a generation just above yours that it's like, no, no, we've got it harder than you. Shut up. You take your turn. I think we did a list like this for the boomers. And now Gen Z is far back at us.

Yeah, and it's fun. The next one, this one you'll relate to, Jess. Lack of boundary. What are you talking about? What do you need? I'm going to need more information. Asking too many personal questions. Gen Z don't.

I'm going to fly that. Don't ask Babs how she is. And you're supposed to be on at all times, apparently. So, I don't know. Millennials are expecting us to be on at all times. Instead of, you know, like going home and disconnecting, they're like, you need to be. Oh, absolutely.

Apparently. You can reply to an email whenever or. Yeah. We don't respect the menti B. No, what I mean? We push through. We work outside 9-to-5. You know what I mean?

We grind. We're always grinding. Whereas Gen Z need their downtime. They got it hard. Yeah, yeah. They got it hard. Yeah. Belts sarcastic.

Not at all. I'm not going to ask any follow-up questions because I'm pushing boundaries. I knew this would take a turn. Obviously. Overwhelming communication. So sending a lot of emojis and memes that aren't funny. Oh, man. Memes have had their time, haven't they?

They've really had their time to sign, but no more. No, not funny. I don't think Jess has ever sent a meme. No, Jess isn't a meme or an emoji. Ducco sends me a lot of, like, videos and memes. Do you ever give him a thumbs up or a double tap? So, that's, yeah, I only send you appropriate memes I think you'll laugh at on Instagram and they're reals. I know, is that, is that a meme, is it?

I don't get memes from you. No, I'm a little bit jealous. I think they're like meamy. I don't, I wouldn't say I send Babs a lot. I mean, I just, I said a couple that I think she'll laugh at, which are like really dark humour. Between my questions and your memes, we have really got Babs off side. Yeah, is that a meme, though, or is it like sending you a reel, that's a funny clip? You clant that as a meme. I would count that.

Yeah, I notice you don't reply often. So I should stop, you don't want that anymore? I just thought it was a way of bonding, you know? I'm just joking. I'm just reading a list. Okay, all right. It's not, you know, just me. I don't reckon she found this list.

I think she wrote this list. This is written. This is why I'm tired. I sat up all night. And this. Calating, yeah. And another thing you do. And then lastly, here we go.

She's still going. Assuming we don't get references. Oh, I mean. You're an enigma though. Yeah, you've been an older soul. Like, you knew the breakfast club or something. thing. I wouldn't say that is stock standard for your generation, but is that your

point that I shouldn't assume you haven't seen movies from the 80s or 90s. Actually, there is another one too. And the millennial pause. Before you film or before you do a video. Yes. So when you're about to, I don't know if you do this Jess, but when you hold your phone up and you go

and then you wait for the video to say one second, like it started rolling. Isn't it funny? Because one of my millennial friends who is a bit of a creator on TikTok, she made fun of Gen Z the other day because all you guys do is you're filming and the camera's right in your face

and then you put it down and her point was put it down if you're not ready to start. Get the framing right. Get the framing right. So that makes it feel a bit more fun. You're just kind of like, you know Oh there's motion. Yeah. You know what? I hate those videos that you see online and it's like they go up to famous

people and it's like, what do you do with yourself? It's like oh hey I'm in a band and they're like it's so candid. They just happen to me. Of course. But it's so fake. I know. That's the How did you make your first million? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you do? Come on a run with me today.

Yeah, I like those ones. These lists do nothing but expose the divide. I know, don't they just. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I'm going to start seeing my memes to shy guys. He'll appreciate them. Chess and Ducko in the morning. Jets and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bugs on here, Topper Bugs.

You better believe it. seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter, have to take your first answer, can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, say pass, we come back, of course, if there is time. We are playing for 10K. This is the new time of 7am, and we still do it at 8 a.m. every day. Our second player ever at 7, sort of, is Bell. Hello, Bell. Hello, Bell. Good morning to you. How do you feel? I mean, we're making history, Alpha Box at 7. Yeah, I'm a bit nervous. I play in the car every morning, and usually go reasonably well, but I don't know how

I'll go under pressure. No pressure, babe. Just a couple of friends. Hearing the timer is the hardest thing. It sums people a lot, Belle. You've got to put yourself as though you are just in the car. You are just listening, but make sure you say the answers out loud. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? We're planning to do some Renaos next year, so that'll really help.

Absolutely, it will. You can speak from experience with Renos. Aren't you having a good time? Very good time. Are you enjoying it? Everything's maintained the course, doesn't. No, no kivots, no curfball. Bell, maybe with your kitchen renovation,

you'd like to look at a zip tap. Because that starts with the letter Z, and that's what you're going to work with. Oh, geez. Now, Zed's all right. There's only so many words, you know. People freak out of the back end. Yeah, you're right.

Minimal, minimal options. Well, you're ready to rock? Yep. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter Z, we need you to name. A number. Zero. A horror movie.

Pass. A country. Zambia. A fashion brand. Zara. A verb. Zoom. A periodic element.

Pass. A five-letter word. Pass. A male celebrity. Oh my God. Pass. A girl's name. Zora?

A KFC item. You know what? We came out so strong. I thought we've got ourselves a player. We only ended up with five... It's a pass, Mark. It's a past, Mark. Look, it's better than nothing.

Actually, got verb. So few people get verb. That's true. You nailed the verb. Let's go through them. A horror movie could have been Zon Beavis. Not sure if that's a horror movie.

I think Babs made that one up. Yeah, yeah. Comedy horror. Zombie land. Appearity element, one of the big ones. Zink, five-letter word. Zebra. Male celebrity, Zech, Efron.

Of course. A girl's name could have been Zara or Zoe and then a KFC item, I'm sure you would have got the Zingerberger. You just ran out of time. You don't get the money for the renaos, I'm sorry, Bell, but you do get $100 at Hair House, okay? That's all yours. You can renovate your hair. Great.

Yay. Congratulations. Thanks for joining the show. Thank you. Thank you. We do play again, of course, 8am for $10,000. More chances. Up next, though.

There's just one more thing I need to unpack on my in-laws up there left. Just one. I got one more. All grievance. Let's open the therapy tent. Yeah, I'll jump in my therapy tent. Because it's a safe space. Jess and Ducko.

Geez, a chilly change today, Jessica. A chilly change in Ducco, you're wearing jeans. I was almost going to wear a jumper today. I was enjoying seeing your knees the past couple of weeks and days. And my knees miss you. But, you know, I had to cover them up. They're good knees, brother. Thank you so much.

You should be proud of your knees. They don't specifically complimented your knees in the past. I never get compliments on the knees, but I never get insults. Which tells me that they're solid. They're good knees. Remember we talked a little. while ago, women wanted men to know collectively. Don't just say we're

beautiful, gorgeous, hot. We want specifics. Does the same apply to boys? Would you rather hear specific body parts are hot? It's so funny you say that. I had a mate once whose rule of thumb when he was dating was don't date a girl who's got bad knees. Because he thinks if she's got knees that look a bit, you know, unattractive that she's going to be...

She's going to be unattractive when she's older. Like the knees of the window into the future. And we're like, what? I've heard the eyes of the window to the soul. I've not. I've Not hurt. Knees are the wind. He's like, nah, mate, she's hot, but she's got bad knees. Don't trust them. So not, not functionally bad knees.

No, like, is it like... Just aesthetically bad knees. Yeah, you can just see the kneecap looks bad. If my knees are good or not... I haven't seen your knee. Can you come under the desk? What do you think? I'm weirdly self-conscious.

I think they're okay knees. They're good knees. They look good to me. I don't want okay knees. I want hot knees. I'll get me, mate Huey on the phone. Can you? Can you?

Can we FaceTime, Huey? Yeah, yeah. Huey, he swears by it. He's married now. See, I felt looking at your mum was your window into the future. My mum kept herself pretty tight. Hasn't she?

I haven't seen her knees in a bit though. Yeah, well, she hides them. She's a modest lady. Yeah, yeah. She's covering the knees. She's covering the knees. Your dad still hasn't seen them, which is why they're married.

That's how your last 40 years keep a little bit of mystery in the marriage. Lights off always. Hence why he was trying to use candles in France. Candle light in France. Yeah, yeah. Got the hotel evacuated. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which just quickly, he came, we obviously came home that afternoon. He goes, geez, shy guy was giving me the fifth degree on questioning me about what the scent of the candle was and what the whole incident was. He goes, geez, he was asking me a lot of questions. He was talking to us about it as if we didn't know the story. I said, no, no, Rob. We heard it. Yeah, we know the story about you. Like, the first thing I asked him, Rob. I said, you set off any more fire alarms trying to make love to your sweet wife? And he's like, good morning. You're still rolling with that French pear scent, dad? Anyway. He didn't give me anymore. He didn't give me anymore. He didn't give

anything. I tried him and your mum. He's kept the cars close to the chest, haven't they? I tried both of them. They gave me nothing. If you could crack anyone, you could crack my mum. She wouldn't give you... She didn't give up the goodies. I was thinking the same thing. Hey, Lace. Come over here, I've got a wee-spar.

Let me see your knees. Have this wee-spar. Pop on down on this little seat and let's chat for ants. What really went down in that o'clock? She didn't actually go to the bra specials here. today. Oh, see, I dropped her off at Linders. Yeah, yeah. But really, she hopped in an Uber and went to Duck her.

I picked her up. We got a Zingerberger and had a chat. She likes a Zinger. I know she does, man. You don't need to tell me what she likes. And I'll just say you're safe. The knees look good. Anyway, I was going to tell you something else.

We'll do that next. We'll do it later. We'll want to do it next. You know who I haven't heard. Who? Mariah. Oh, geez. You told me at 6, listen out for Mariah.

when I hear her call 131060, I could win family pass to the Hunter Valley Gardens plus accommodation plus spending money. I'm not lying any time throughout the show. I'm a mister. Is that Mariah now? No, it's nice and bads again. Don't call.

People call every time. It's so good. That is such a compliment to you. Hang on. Sorry. Sorry. That's not Mariah either. That was Duck O'Carry.

I couldn't see you in Bangkok recently. I've got to see Mariah and Brayor and Bangkok. She's come back from Bangkok. It's happening soon. So you say. So I say. But you know, it's also happening soon? Keep luck.

You know what's also happening soon? In fact, this Thursday night, I'm on a panel for science, baby. Yes. Now, you mentioned this a little while ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got a tap on the shoulder. Hey, we've got some great doctors, researchers in the IVF space. Yep.

You know who we're missing? A bit of pizzazz. A bit of razzle dazzle. You know what science is boring. Let's get ducco in here. I picture you. Oh, you know. I'm not going to like this reference.

Here we go. Richard Gere in Chicago. You're the razzle-dazzle, man. Sorry, Jess. I want you in a sequined vest. Because, yes, the topic can be dry. It can be sobering. Yes, yes, yes.

It can be daunting. So, but you've got the duck man there. I'll be there. This is put on by the HMRI. They're doing for it. It's a fertility forum, mainly on male infertility and stuff like that. I spoke about a little while ago. I've shared it on my stories.

You can see it on theirs. I've just reshed in my story. Because you got a register. Got a registered a go. It's free, but there's only so many. many amount of seat sort of thing. There's going to be lots of great people. My fertility doctor is going to be there.

People from the HMR, obviously, there. They're discussing, you know, male fertility and infertility and what causes and effects, what you can do if you have sort of certain issues in that space. And then you hear from people like myself who've firsthand been through something like that. Obviously, a topic close to my heart, something that Morgan and I, you know, very publicly everyone knows that have gone through. But I think it's just a great initiative put on by them.

And look, if I'd had this knowledge as power. were in this space. So if you'd had this sort of information, there's no stigma attached. Don't be ashamed about it. Just get the knowledge, get the answers. You can come along to this night. I'll be on a panel with some very smart people.

So come along, set the next, or you can check out the links in my bio, or you can just see it on HMRI. But yeah, it's this Thursday. We've had a few, like, few meetings with all the smart people involved. What are you getting around a conference table?

Zoom. A bit of Zoom. Yeah. So you're saying professor, professor, doctor, doctor. Yeah, yeah. I made my background like I was on a beach somewhere, though. You know, you can do that and Zoom. I'm like, hey, well, I was just doing gear.

Like, they're trying to talk serious. I'm popping in. I'm on a beach, guys. Your ADD, not exactly serving you. Clorophyll, more like Borofil. They're like, why did we get him on? The razzle dazzle. The razzle.

But again, Ducco, beyond the information, would you say, feeling like you're not alone? 100%. And knowing you've got a community of people who have either walked this past or are currently on your. your path, and feeling like there's a team around you. Totally. Invaluble.

Invalial, exactly. And strength in numbers, it really, you know, speaking firsthand, you know, knowing that other people, so many people reached out to me going through it all, knowing that there were so many people collectively going through this space. Fertility is such a unique, individualized journey. No two stories or situations are the same, you know. So just knowing that you have other people that have sort of walked that path with you is just, it's invaluable.

Absolutely. So yes, the link to register. We'll share it on the Jess and Ducko story as well. It is free. Yeah, totally. You just do need to make sure there's enough seats for all the bums. Well, that's it. I want you to be there.

Like I said, you know, like, if I can come on air and speak about it, you can go sit in a forum. No, there's no stigma. It's not embarrassing. Just, you're hearing from really smart people. There's no crowd work. There's not going to go. And hey, buddy, what's your story? I'm not emceeing this one.

I'm just a passenger. That is unheard of. It's great, isn't it? Whoever's emceeing, you better straighten up. Carol Duncan's emceeing. So, you know. Good friend of the show. Yeah, yeah.

She's amazing. She'll be such a beautiful conduit between the conversation. Yes. Amazing. I'm excited. So anyway, look, you could come and watch a men of science panel burn and fail. You never know. Do I wear a lab coat? What do I wear? It's on Thursday night. We should get you a lab coat. No, I want the sequen.

Cethoscope. Can we have that? Sequent lab coat coat. I want to be like Dr. Nick Coatesworth from maths, you know what I mean? Like, I'm a doctor, but I'm not. I'm a cool doctor. I'll have a stethoscope. Do you mean John Aiken? Oh, sorry, John Aiken. He's Coatesworth. You get your COVID doctors. Oh, that guy.

I was with you the whole time. on the Today Show. He's the hot doctor who was doing all the press conferences. Yeah, sorry, that's where I'm getting worked up. You're thinking of spiky hair maps. Oh, geez, I'm not off to a good start, am I? I'm going to, I'll leave the doctor stuff for them. Nah, keep trying.

I'll just figure out of what I know, and that's my sperm. I bet. Jesse, we've got the text line. 04-8-8-1069. Text in any time. We want to beef out this list that's going around, Ducko. Things that were supposed to be the next big thing. Yep.

But they totally fly. They just dissolved into the history books. People have gotten online. To this day, I still don't understand what NFTs even are or how they work. And I don't really care to find out. The non-fungible tokens or whatever they were. I feel like everyone was talking about NFTs. Justin Bieber bought that monkey or something.

Thank you. I was like, there was a monkey one, someone made popular. It was millions of dollars. Isn't it a cryptocurrency? Some form of cryptocurrency and your NFT is just your own. I don't know Because like in terms of crypto I think Bitcoin is still going on

Don't ask me how it works I don't know But people still talk about Bitcoin Bitcoin is walk among us Yes Bitcoin is walk among us Do you mean in this room Is he a Bitcoin?

No Not smart enough for that I don't Bitcoin either No I see I thought that was all Part and parcel But I'm like why did Why are we still talking about Bitcoin But no one talked about NFTs

Yeah I don't really understand They didn't catch on did they Someone else has nominated 3D TVs I feel like I saw them marketed Everywhere Yeah that was around

When Avatar came out There you go, but I don't actually know a single person who owns one. And they didn't work. Were they really expensive? Yeah, they were. And did you have to have the goggles? I think you need little goggles for it, but they didn't work. Like you were going to IMAX.

Yeah. I don't want to wear the red and blue glasses every time I watch TV. Also, it's like curved TVs. Ah. Curved TVs were all the rage for a while. Someone said they're kind of crappy for anyone not sitting dead center to the screen. Great marketing. Yeah, yeah.

But not actually a great product, so they just died in the bum. Yeah, they died. Someone has said Coca-Cola clear. I don't remember Coca-Cola clear. Is that a thing? I don't know. Coke light? Coke light.

Oh, this one was good. Do you remember we all watch Back to the Future and we're like, the future's going to have hoverboards? Yeah. Someone has said hoverboards that don't catch fire. They became such a safety hazard. I don't think you're allowed to really have them. They don't really.

They're certainly not using them every day on the street. There were those hoverboards that you can get with the handle and you see people doing the tours. Yes. All the ones that people just like the two wheels. and they just lean forward? They are terrifying. The one, even, I see a guy scooting around in the airport every now and then,

and it's just one wheel. I'm like, what year are you living in? Yeah, I've seen those. Where's the rest of your bike? Yeah. Someone has said, remember those kneeling chairs. They were meant to be really ergonomic and they sort of had almost like you're a cool dad and you'd swung the chair around.

And that's the way you wanted to talk to the kids. It was a kneeling chair for that. It was meant to be better for your posture. They definitely died. What about Blu-ray DVDs? Blu-ray DVDs went to be all the rage, and then DVDs sort of didn't last too long. Mike, we had quite the DVD collection. Dad started acquiring some Blu-rays and then Blu-ray play out.

Oh, the Blu-ray players. You have to buy them specifically. Exactly. But then the play session came out and would play Blu-Rays. Yes. This is a very Jess Farcioni-specific one. Here we go. Ricky Martin.

How do you? Westlife. Hey, West Life are celebrating the like 25th anniversary tour, all right? It's just you going. I'm considering flying to Ireland. They're not coming down under. No, Twinings has stopped selling... We're on brand.

Twinings has stopped selling the tea I liked in the big box. I can only get it in the little box. So I'm assuming it means no one else is buying it. It didn't make it. They've stopped manufacturing it in the biggie. I've got to buy the little e. I think it's died. It's not meant to be the next big thing.

It's not the next big thing. You might like vanilla camamol. Oh, yeah. Can't get it in a biggie. You have said that, actually. I do like honey vanilla camamol. Why aren't they making it in the big one? It's not the next big thing.

thing. Shaga, you got any things that had been cancelled? Remember that map? Be Real? Yeah, yeah. Well, you take a photo at the same time. Like, every day it would go like, it could be a different time. That's right. It gives you an alert.

And what, it's almost, it was a social media. It shares it to all your followers. You had a photo of what you were doing. And then you had, like, a few minutes after to see what everyone else was doing. And then it's over the day. Okay, Babs, what do you got? No, I was just going to say I loved that up. Were you sad when no one kept using it?

I was really sad. I used to love Be Real. Yes. And remember even COVID house party. The app, did you guys ever use housepines? Basically, it was just FaceTime. It was literally FaceTime, but some app creator went, I can monetize this. Yeah, in COVID times.

And it literally did not survive. It didn't survive at all, did it, no. No one's, I don't know, anyone's party at 12 o'clock. It was like, everyone should home drunk. Is anyone still doing words with friends? That had a moment. That did have a moment. I feel like Wordle has stood the test of time.

Wordle's still going. But words with friends. Well, I mean, I don't know anyone that word. My wife still plays Wordle. So does her mom. And they talk about a day. I'm like, just this stuff. Oh, my God.

Oh my God, yeah. See, but it's survived. Yeah. Whereas, yeah, your house parties, your words with friends, your Brees. There you go. A lot of those apps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know.

Here for a reason, here for a season, here for a lifetime. Here for a short period of time. Not everything's here. Disappears. I want to try Coca-Cola, Clear. Yeah, have you looked it up? Yeah, Babs has some info on it. Here we go.

Came out in 2018 in Japan, and it has a lemony twist. Oh, okay. Remember Coke lemon? Is that a thing? Oh, yeah, I remember vanilla Coke. And then vanilla Coke, cherry, cherry, There was even Coca-Cola with lime. Yeah.

It's Coca-Cola clear. Was it not brown? No, it was clear. It looked like lemonade. Like lemonade. Yeah. Well, we've got Sprite for that. Yeah.

Yeah, don't, that is actually just, you've just said Sprite, really. I think you've just done Sprite. Poor Sprite. Just marching to the beat of their own drum. I know. Coca-Cola tries to cut out. They've obviously squashed Coca-Cola clear. Oh, they got it done.

See you later. I love that. Jess and Ducko. Party foul or play on? Here we go. Can I use something against my husband? Some new. Intel information to get my way.

We have a very, very strong relationship, except in one area, Angus and I. He is not really a physical touch man. Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's an acts of service, blah, blah. Yeah. What great, you cook me dinner. What I want from him.

Just today you were trying to get him. He woke up, and the first message you sent was, find my Ricky Martin tickets. I can't find them. I ordered them months ago. He literally said he goes, no, good morning. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You literally told us off here that you have a list of reminders when to text him things throughout the day. Three things have gone off. But God forbid he gives you a hug. I want massages.

Yeah, I get it. You want a toe sack. I want tickles. Not even. Not even. Just if we're... I mean, you always come to me and get no, we don't get hugs. And I don't hug. None of you hug. Three of you, this is funny at Lucia's second birthday, I hugged shy guy goodbye, and he walked off and someone was like, does he like you? And I went, he's not a hugger. None of you guys are.

But Angus, I can't get him to tickle my arm. I can't get him to massage my neck. Like, genuinely, just if we're sitting there, not funny business. You know, I've been hitting the gym a bit of tension. And the other night I said, can you just rub my neck? I'm just feeling so tense. and he literally gets like a knuckle and goes for 30, not even 30 seconds. And I get so worked up about it really upsets me.

My parents are here over the weekend. And again, the neck. And we're all just sitting around chatting. And I was like, Dad, can you massage my neck, please? I kid you not, Daco, 40 minutes my dad sat there. Because we're all just sitting around having Pringles, chatting. He massaged my neck. Okay, didn't need the Pringle part.

That was not needed in the story. You reckon Farchantia needs to sit around for 40 minutes without food. Just some family sitting around with Pringles? What flavour Pringle? Well, one tube was so on cream and onion and one tube was salt vinegar. Of course. How could I presume that was one? Forty minutes.

Because I wasn't looking at my phone. But then by the time I checked the clock, I went, oh my God, he's been nearly going for three quarters of an hour. He's been going at it. And my neck. Standing up and you're sitting down. I was sitting on the floor. He was on the couch.

Yeah. So we were just chatting away. And he's just there. There, and he's not... Was he using any lotion? Was that just... Nah. Try, man.

Yeah. It was amazing, and my neck feels 10 times better. I bet. And what I want to ask you is, next time I ask Angus, hey, can you rub me, can you tickle me? And he obviously is going to say either no or half ass it. Can I say, my dad would do it? This is just like when you said to him, Ducker does it when I know.

Ducker would know and you pit him against me. You ask him a question. Ducker would know. That's right when he couldn't name my four favorite movies. I said, Ducko wouldn't know it? Now it's like my dad will do it. Yeah, can I play my dad? You can, but like your dad's, he's always going to be doing that sort of stuff, right?

Like, that's sort of part of the job description. Oh, you reckon? Morgan gives me very good massages because she's good at that. I'm not as good at it. Yeah, strong hand. I'm not as good at it. I don't like doing it to her, but I'll get the massage gun. We've got a Thera gun.

Oh, pump that into the traps. I take that. We've got one of those. Oh, use that. Why don't I take that? He just can't. He's come home from a big day at work. You've messaged him asking where Ricky Martin tickets are.

If we have any olive oil and what credit card to use. We're out of garlic yesterday. I sent him to the shops. I was like, I can't not have garlic. So what you're saying is I could, but it probably wouldn't be the best outcome. If Morgan said to me, my dad gives me good mouth, such as you don't. I'd be like, we'll marry your dad then. You know what I mean?

It's not problematic. Tush. So it's not going to get me what I want. I wonder if I could say Ducko gave me a message today. That's problematic. Now. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on Hint.

30 seconds to answer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We'll come back, of course. If there is time, we are playing for 10. thousand dollars our player today is we've got jenn good morning jane good morning hello jenn what brings

you to the show today why do you want ten thousand dollars look i've got a couple of e-bikes that i need to buy for christmas so that'll definitely help i was talking to someone about this the other day who's one they're quite expensive i like five thousand dollars yeah i know i definitely won't be getting um those expensive ones but a couple will still set me back okay is that the fat boys yeah yeah something like that yeah Yeah, all right. Well, geez, that's one hell of a Christmas list. Jen, that's... I give me an easy letter.

Well, how do you feel about the letter D? D for Ducco. That's a good one. Oh, okay, let's do it. All right. There's a good letter. I'm not looking around for Jen. Yeah, she wants in. She does. She wants a fat boy.

A couple of them. A couple of big boys. A couple of big boys. Your time will start after the first question. You're ready to rock, Jen. Let's do it. Starting with letter D. We need you to name.

Something in the bedroom. Door. A squirrel. A school subject. A school, um. Dance. A horror film. Pass.

An occupation. An adjective. Dry. A flower. Daisy. A soft drink. Dr. Pepper. A musical.

Fencing with all. An actress. Oh, came home, came home strong. He picked up the pasted cheese. Took some time with things like horror film, but ended up with seven. Seven of the best, Jen. It is good. Horror film's tough on, I mean, Dracula, there's lots of iterations about it.

I said to Shire, I was like, what's a little horror film? He goes, it's Halloween. Halloween thing, you know? Think about that now. Halloween coming up, you know, theme points. Thanks so much, guys. No, no, we're not done, Jen. We're not done for times.

Jen's in a rush, clearly got to get to work. An actress could have been Drew Barry, more, or Demi Moore. Everything else you answered, you got correct, Jen, but you do get $100 to spend at Hair House. That is all yours. Awesome. Thank you so much. Thanks, Jen. Thanks for joining the show.

Have a good day. You too, babe. Do play again tomorrow, 7 and 8 a.m for $10,000. Hell yeah. Up next, more chances to get involved in the show. The number is 13, 1060. We need you to call it. We're talking POVO feeds, mate.

Povo Feeds, mate. Yeah, POV feeds. Let's have some fun Let's have some fun Jess and daco Sabrina carpenter He is here Oh you do that three second pause again

Hit breakfast Jess and ducker Sorry I've got My top through my mouth I've got nothing Tease because your thing's coming up I can tease it for you Hey we didn't get to ducko

bitching about his in-laws Yeah that's coming up We're going to research back Yeah that's coming up I'm looking forward to that Sorry we'd have no oats at work So I'd have we're eating I'm having weeping

A sludge. I'm wheat bicks with banana and cillium husk. Cillium husk, great for the guts, but that stuff is like, dry. I'm basically just eating dry. Oh, I went through two weeks of trying to put that on stuff. Oh, my God. Just mix it in your food.

You can't taste it. You can't taste it. You can. How is that good for your guts? It sets like rock. Must be, yeah, I don't know. Wow. You're trying to get a bit more regular.

No, I'm super regular. I'm just trying to, you know, keep the gut health on top of it. That's right. I just heard it's good for you, man. The gut microbiome. It is very good for you. Spoke about Babs to Babbs about it today. I said,

mate, get some celium husk. Yeah, yeah. You want to give her the dregs of yours? Are you finished? You're going to come go off some of my celium husk if you want. You want a tablespoon? I've got to pack it. Yeah.

Look, I got a packet right here. Also, this is what me and Ducko talked about for 10 minutes when I saw him this morning. You don't necessarily start conversation, so I just go straight to Sinus and your boughs. I wasn't saying it was a bad thing. She hates you sending her memes and funny reels. She only wants to talk about Sinus and Gart. I just looked at the last two memes I've sent Babs.

She hasn't even replied to them. Now, now I've sent three unanswered. Now, you know what she's done? You know what she's done? She's open it gone, oh my God. And then unread you, you know, to make it look like she hasn't opened it at all. So what you've done to me? As opposed to reply.

No. You show me how to do that bad? Sure. Lots of pollen around Bab's bad hay fever season for us. You know, I get tagged from people now regularly in just hay fever things. And I'm sure you appreciate it. I love it. You love feeling like you're in a community.

I like Babs. Yeah. Anyway, what do you want to talk about? I want to talk about your pov-o-feet. Pov-o! Pov-a-feet's 13-10-6. Everyone's got one. Family tradition, staples, corned beef.

You know, that's a big one. It's giving girl dinner as well, isn't it? It's the stuff we throw together just to put something in the gob. No, Cillium huskier. No, no. That's too much thought going into it. Too nice. Yeah, we're talking the real POS feet.

And all I need. All I crave is a good. Pove! A bit of live mixing, guys. Budget cuts, guys. Didn't quite win it. Tried my hardest team. Do you know what?

It fits. It's pov-o man. It's pop, man. 131060, what's your pov fee? Everyone's got one. There's a list doing the intent, which is always a bit of fun. Buttered toast with cinnamon and sugar. Oh, that's fancy.

It's a big one. That feels like you've just half-assed French toast. It's like I don't want to do the dippy-dippy in a frying pan. No, no, no. I'll just do it in a toaster. Rice and beans, always a good one. Oh, my God, I love beans. Got a can of beans, got some microwave rice.

Bitta bing, bittaboo. You want to talk about gut microbiome? Yeah. Beans very good. Beans are magic. Mac and cheese, can't do that. I cannot have mac and cheese anymore. Oh, my God, I tried to make mac and cheese the other day.

I bought four different cheeses to put in me mac and cheese. Oh, but doesn't it just come with, you mean the powdered mac and cheese? Oh, no, I bought. Oh, see, that's not part. Oh, you're going, you're going, you're going, bougie. It's a bougie mac. I don't think Jess can participate in this at all. I know.

Let me try again. Give me another one. We're going to try to be, we're going to try to do this. I'm trying to be late. Spam eggs and rice. What spam? Oh, like, uh, uh, uh, okay. I was like, I'm right this.

Just pasta with butter. See, if you're going to do it, you can make a simple tomato sauce. You don't have to just have it with butter. Can I teach you a simple to, whatever? Kevin sandwiches. I used to love a luncheon sausage sandwich. No, it's not. Who knows what that is?

Who knows what it is? Two minute noodles, but you add a bit of broccoli. Bougy. Oh, okay. Can I chip in here? Here we go. I had a weird craving for two-minute noodles the other day. I went and bought, I think you've got to buy them in like tens.

Yeah, yeah. The chicken, oh my God. I made it. Immediately threw up. Oh, did you? Like, vomited. Genuinely, Ducker. I finished it.

I enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah. They're always nice. Immediately threw it up. How weird is that? I mean, the flavoring in the two-minute noodles is just. It's all preserved. It's all flavored, it's chemistry, whatever it might be.

But it affected me so much. So I tried to do a, like, fun little povo meal. Yeah. And you vomited. My body genuinely rejected it. Babs, what do your housemaids do? My housemate makes two-minute noodles, but she puts tuna on top. Oh.

I don't know how to feel about that. So it's kind of like, yeah, gourmet. Yeah, it's kind of like a gross tuna. That's gourmet. That's as gourmet as the povo feeds get. Fair. I, um, my povotee is obviously tuna with a cup of rice. Yep.

Yeah, but you'll have a spoonful of veggie mite. Oh, yeah. Like, that's pretty much. That gets me going. Beans and weanies. That's shy guys. He wanted me to read that out. Loves a bean and weenie.

That's how you get that tall. What I used to do when I was younger, guts couldn't handle it now. A packet of Doritos, pull it out, get a five brothers pasta sauce, pull that on and a lot of cheese. As in is that your nachos? Put it in the microwave, nachos.

Oh my God. Yeah, that's what I used to do. Why wouldn't you buy salsa? Why would you buy the five brothers, pasta sauce sauce? I think it's just all we had in the cupboard. Popo. It's exactly right. Grot Pov.

Yeah. He's 12. He can't get himself to the shops. SpaghettiOs or anything you get like canned spaghetti. That's obviously very pov-o. Tuna Nutta Casseroles, beans and weanies. I've said that. Tomato sandwiches with salt, pepper and mayo.

Ooh. Now you're talking my language. I don't hate the sound of that. Just tomato with mayo. Like sliced tomato. I like tomato and I like mayo. There you go. You like salt and pepper.

Could I put it on a focata instead of white bread? No, no. You're just dipping. All right. 13, 1060. I can't. play. Can you play and make Jess disgusted with your potho feeds? That's what I really want to do. You've got to do what you've got to do. And some of these, as you said, have such a nostalgia attached

to them. But you're like, even though I'm 35, this is what I feel like. What did you have for lunch yesterday? Oh my God, what did I have for lunch? Oh, I, no. I made a Tuscan bean pasta in a spinach cherry tomato. Shut up. Okay. Catalini beans. 131060. A beautiful Bucatini with just lashing the pepperino. Make Jess to I'm disgusted with your pop feeds. What are you got? We're doing it. Jess and ducco.

What is your? Feed. I can't play. Jess can't play. She doesn't understand. Because I just don't understand why you need to have pasta with butter when you can do a very simple tomato. It's not that much more.

I'm not saying. The whole team pissing themselves outside. I'm not saying. You're missing the point of pop. I'm not saying make a polonaise. I understand. But like. She went on for five minutes.

Shaga left the room. She'll tell me about her lunch she made yesterday. What I do is I make the cheese, I have to turn the music up. I'm trying to give you a great part of me, I don't know your pasta dishes, and you just turn the music up on me. I must admit.

I know you don't like Guy Sebastian that much. I must admit, on the text I know for 2008-1-609. Julie got in touch. I said corn beef because, you know, usually back in the day, the family makes that, you go, you boil it, what is it? It goes a long way. Julie said, bro, do you know how expensive corn beef is now?

And I must admit, I haven't bought it in years. So I do not know the price of corned beef. Julie, thank you for educating us, and I love the use of bro. Jane, good morning. Good morning. Jane, what's your pov-o feed? We call it boarding school nachos. So it consists very similar to the other one.

So a plate of nachos, a tin of baked beans on top, cheese on top, whack it in the microwave because that boarding school that was all we had to cook with. That would be nice to. Oh, so, Jane, it's the sauce of the beans that is actually as your sauce. Yeah, but then sour cream on top. you pull it out. Oh, but you're tipping in boozy there, Jane. I was going to say you class it up.

You're starting to get too classy. But, geez, that's cheap. It's cost effective. That is cost effective because you've got beans. I now cook it for my kids at school. It's a treat. Oh, yeah, that's a good little treat. See, if you market anything correctly, the kids will think it's a treat.

Absolutely, well. Chris, good morning. Hey, how's it going? Yeah, pretty good, babe. We're talking Pav O'Feeds. What do you got? Yeah, ours was corn beef, pasta, and tomato sauce. Like ketchup.

Yeah. So you'd have like a just normal pasta with corned beef mixed through it. That's like the bolognese bits. And then tomato sauce on top. Yeah, like a bolognaise, yeah. Oh, that is pavre. That is fantastic. How did that taste?

It's good, especially when you're a stoner. Do you mean because it fits the spot or it hits the spot or because it's easy to prepare? It's both. Both. Yeah, yeah. So he's never had it sober. I guess there's not a lot. Oh, you've got to cook the pasta.

That means you're going to use the stove. Jeez, what an invention, too. And him and his mates, when Chrissie's maids were sitting around the TV and they invented that. Do you reckon they've ever had it un-high? No, I don't think so. Is that the opposite of high? Just sober. I really should leave McKenzie high.

Hello. Ken's, what's your pop-o feed? Mashed potato sandwiches. Oh, they are good. Mashed potato on toast yet. Last family is huge on that. Mashed potato. Yeah.

Oh, frozen. It's like the next day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Frozen mash like the packet frozen match. Oh, hang on a minute. It's about to say, McKenzie, have you ever seen, I've seen Debs packet mash.

It's like you add water and that fluffs it up. So is there an equivalent in the freezer aisle? Yes, yes, yes. Okay. It comes in like, they look like potato gems, but it's just frozen match. Oh, wow. And once you add heat to it, I never have that. Oh, that's nice.

Seed using camping, but at home on a Tuesday night when you're having that on the... That is, that's nice in Pov, McCampsey. I love that. That's always going to be in the freezer. Yeah. Don't know what to cook? Oh, there's the frozen mash. Rob, on 13, 10, 60, and Pobbo feeds.

Rob, what do you got? I've been doing this one my entire life, and it's a winner and my wife cannot understand it. Cream corn on taste. Creamed corn, Rob. And then I made it even fancier as I became an adult. I put plastic cheese underneath the cream corn. and the powdered powdered parmesan stuff.

Oh, my God. If you're buying cheese from the aisle section, you're buying it wrong. Rob. Oh, you mean the sliced cheese? No,

no, he's saying the powdered parmesan. You know, like on an aisle you can get the one that's like, it's not dairy because how is it on a shelf

and not refrigerated? I love Rob's line as I became an adult. He had a bit more spending money. Oh, that's gross, but brilliant, Rob, that's nice and pop. Oh, can you imagine

the first time his wife saw him prepare that, being like, what? How did you convert it? Rob, does she like it now? Absolutely not. No.

And we go to Tracy on 131060. Pover feeds, Trace. I got Ghetto Sketty. What's Ghetto Sketti? Ghetto Skettie is literally like a knockoff bolognese. It's your mince in the fry pan, tin spaghetti, and then just your frozen, mixed vegetables, your peas, carrot corn and some curry powder. Curry batter in there, too. I don't even like that you use the word Bolognese in that description because that is such a far cry for Bologna.

How good's Ghetto Skettie? You have success. Ghetto Sketti is the bomb. Ghetto Sketti, baby. What night is it tonight, Mum? Ghetto Skettie. The bloody tin spaghetti. The curry powder is the best for me.

Yeah, what's with the curry powder? It's actually so good. It's like a curry mince, but with the spaghetti, tin spaghetti gives it that sauce. rich tomato sauce, bolognese. Stop some bolognese. Trace has done it. She's angry. Who's ever said macas spicy isn't real spicy?

Frank's red hot and macas have gotten together to spice up the Mick Wings, the McChryspier and already mixed spicy burgers with exclusive red hot sauce. Hurry though only available at Maccas after 10.30 a.m. for a limited time participating Macca's restaurants. Get in while it's special. I don't know where I'm going today You got Wings Day I need a five piece McWing's and some

Dipy Dippy Dippy Franks red hot sauce Thank you Is it swimming lesson day? No Never is really In fact she doesn't actually do swim lessons Just just goes to Maccas and claims it It's all a ruse

It's never happened Hey man For as long as I have to get in the pool I'm getting a treat Yeah oh yeah She's actually going to upgrade now that she's two Oh so you don't need to get anymore No so does that bring the McWing journey to an end?

You haven't bought the calories. I think of the big wings to you while you watch. Oh my God. Genius. How warm are those pools? I know they're heated, but still. Too warm. Yeah.

To be honest. Yeah. Very, very warm. It's like a bath. Yeah. Have you had a code rainbow yet with some kid vomits in there? No, thankfully. We've not even had the polywuffle.

I've not had a... Haven't had a loose puppy. There's probably been a lot of wee-wee. Yeah. But no, I haven't even had a loose puppy. I don't take the first one lesson I did with Float. Morgan didn't tell me, like, you know, she's like, yeah, just bring your boardies and whatever, rock up with

no shirts. I'm there with no shirt and boardies on and like, oh, so you need to wear a shirt. Isn't that so funny? You say that. So when we got the, you know, orientation letter, it said wear t-shirts, men, women, mum dad, whoever's in the pool, wear a t-shirt. I rolled in a t-shirt. Like, I'd been pushed into the pool. No one else was. No, so I felt like a big fat loser. So it was only guy in the class. And I was like, well, if I don't wear a shirt now, it's weird. So I've got to wear it. So I have to just wear my, like, normal t-shirt I was wearing. There you go. Yeah. So then did you drive home, topless? Yeah, I did.

Was it a white shirt? It was a white shirt. It was a white shirt competition. It was a good white shirt, too. They do say that because the children know it's extra things to grab on to. So I was like, I understand it. I thought it was like a, you know, I don't know. Oh, like a sexy thing.

Yeah, like not showing much skin or something. Yeah, maybe partly. Oh, well, my irritation. I know whenever I do that today's show and I go to water parks with kids, which surprisingly is a lot, I have to wear a rashy. Yes, fair. What do they say about your duck budgies, though? They're fine with those. I mean, I just sort of do that.

You know, you got to. But you're Quodzilla. Yeah, that's it. We'll get the quads out anytime. Hey, up next. So finally, you was going to do this earlier, but we got sidetracked. Yeah, yeah. You and me, mum.

One last bitch about my in-laws, you know. That's right. Just the one last nugget you're holding on to. Yeah, yeah. They were here for a couple of weeks. We're going to step into the therapy tent. Yep. Oh, yes.

Stunk it up. Well, we'll see, she's still in there. Yeah, she's got 15 people in there. What are you doing? These suit kitchens are getting out of control. Take it to the cruise. They're my friends. You met Gary.

yesterday. Anyway. They're all practicing their Mariah whistle moat. If you've missed any of the show, our podcast lives

on the listener app. So make sure you download that. Should I go? What time will it be up? By 10.30, I reckon today. Jeez,

you reckon 1030? Yeah, well, fluctuates because it depends on what else is going on the listener app at the same time. Oh, I see. We get clogged in the back feed.

Yeah, we'll be on the breakfast shows. The queue. Yeah. So the in-laws left. Obviously, they left a week ago now?

Yeah, yeah, I think they heard last week. But they were here for two weeks. Yeah. It was a while, okay? And they brought their two dogs with them. They've got two kelpies. And so they bring the kelpies. Most of the time where they go,

it means the kelpies sort of stay at our place, so we have three dogs and the child, and it's just chaotic. Because they weren't staying with you. They had an Airbnb, but most Airbnb's, you can't bring pets. No dogs.

So it's like, hey, Duck and Morgan. We'll leave the dogs at your place and we'll just leave and you can sort of feed them and have the child. How nice, Pam can, you know, visit with her cousins. Pam absolutely hates it. Pam is Queen of the Castle, and she's like, I don't need you peasants.

She's territorial. This is my space. They get along, don't get me wrong. Like, no, no attacks or anything, but Pam just doesn't. She gets very fatied from them. You know, we all get a bit tired in the household. But since they've left, I don't get this. Dog wee turns your grass a bit yellow.

I don't get it with Pam's weed that much. There's a few little spots, but Pam's pretty good at spreading the load. You know, she sort of goes around everywhere. She shares it. She shares it around. And she's good, you know, go for a walk, do it on the walk. She does do that. attained someone else's front lawn. She's been taught well.

Yes, she has been taught well. The kelpies, I don't know if it's a kelpie thing, but they do like more sporadic little ones regularly, and they do it everywhere, but they have made my lawn stained yellow. Like there are yellow dots everywhere. Oh my God. After the saga you went through with the landscaping renovation, you did a big thing with your backyard to make it more livable, future-proofing. You've had dramas with the lollipop trees, not taken, all that jazz.

And now you're telling me you've got cousin kelpies. who have now tainted your lawn. I know. Remember, yeah. And so, like, there's a little yellow specs everywhere. A few mates have said, go to Bunnings and get, get this thing that you can spray on it or whatever and it helps it. If you go, arts and craft shop.

Oh, paint it. Spray paint it. Spray paint it green. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a huge lawn guy. I'm getting a bit better at it. I've got my mower or all that sort of gear. Hang on a minute. This is the guy that practices golf swing in the front yard and pulls divvits out of his own.

I don't do that anymore. I'm not allowed. And my lawns too nice. A ton more whiny just then. I don't do that anymore. I don't do it anymore. Okay. So you've given up that, but now the kelpies have come and just made it worse.

So yellow. And like, I didn't think that would ever bother me. Maybe I'm at that age now where it is. And that's a sign of growth or development or just aging. Your 30s. But I just, I was like, how dare they come to our house, leave their dogs here? And now our lawn is just yellow. Now, what's the recourse here?

Because you had spent, like, the couple of days leading up to their visit, making sure the lawn and the backyard was pristine because you thought we're going to be spending time on the deck. We did. We do a lot of barbecuing. I want to make it look nice. And your mother-in-law, the first thing she pointed at was...

The hedges were... Gee, they're going. Better cut those. And now they come and their dogs have... What I'm hearing is, send them an invoice. Send them an invoice for landscaping. Yeah, that's not bad. You know, like, if you were to do that at an Airbnb,

you wouldn't get your bond back. That's true. So what reparations does the duck man get because the in-laws dogs? I'll send before and after photo. Yes. And so your dogs did this. Absolutely.

You've ruined my lawn. Where's my retribution? Where's my retribution? Where does Morgan stand on? Are they her mum and dad? Well, I actually went, geez, I don't know why our lawn's so yellow. Morgan went, I think it's the dogs. Mom and Dad's lawn gets like this.

This is what happens to them. And I was like, oh my God, you're right. And I was blowing up about it. She didn't seem to care that much. She wasn't happy to send no parents a bill. She was like, oh, look, Flo's having solids. I was like, Morgan, I have time. I don't have time for my child eating.

I've got, look at this lawn. And I just stand out there and stare at it. Not even doing anything. Because you know what the issue is, if you do send the invoice, they're going to be like, oh, hang on a minute, Pam whee's on that lawn as well. Exactly. What's to say she didn't contribute.

Yeah. It all comes back. The acidity in the pee is what's doing it. The pen is not acidity. Can we Google? Some dog breeds worse than others with pee. Oh, our lawn back at the house before we were renovating. It was bad.

It was bad. Yeah, Babs are you Googling? Oh, Babs doesn't even start at Shiger. So you should probably win this. Very acidic. I don't know what I'm Googling. What dogs have the most acidic weed? Every time you talk about this, don't you get in undated people going, buy those rocks.

Yeah, the rocks don't work. They don't work. And you know what Pam does? Pam doesn't drink the water when she sees the rock in it. Oh, she's like, well, I'm just going to be dehydrated. Time's up, shy guy. Which dog breed has the most acidic wee-wee. It's more about the size of the dog.

Oh, okay. But that kelpies would be smaller than Pam. Yeah, they are. She rules the roots. So bigger dogs worse? I mean, Gianni. Do the timer again. Okay, we got an answer.

Oh, here we go. Oh, okay. Oh, exactly. Minitia schnauzer, yorkshire, terrier and Dalmatian. Ah. Good or bad for it. A bit more acidic. Sorry.

Good answer. I don't think that there's a point. Okay, it doesn't say anything about Kelsey. Are you comfortable sending an invoice? I'm pretty, yeah. No, I'm trying to Google it too, but I'm coming. I'm finding dogs with acid reflux. It's not on my ass.

One thing at a time. Jess and Ducko. Tuesday morning, just about done here. team you missed any of the show. Grab it on, listener, or wherever you get your podcasts. We've had a complaint. Oh. So we moved Alpha Box from 6.30 a.m. Yes.

To 7. We play twice the morning. We're the only show with $20,000 a day. Yep. Someone message. What did they say? How could you take it off me at 6.30? It's the only way I get through the early morning.

Oh. Put it back. I mean, that's the only complaint we've had. It's the only complaint? I do like to take complaints, though. We read everything. We see everything. We consider your feelings.

Yeah. However, it's only day two. Yeah. So we're just testing the waters. It seems to be going quite well at seven. We're getting new people in the fold. People who have always missed it. The people who tune in from 640, 645, perhaps just before.

Look, we love our early audience. And then maybe have to start work before A. They never get a chance to play. We need to share the love. We are all about sharing the love to this person. They could, um, podcast it. Yeah, you can get to the podcast. And then hit play.

I understand. But how are they meant to win the $10,000 from me? Well, are they annoyed because they call? I think they're just like listening. Yeah, I think it's the listening aspect. Oh, no, I think they were. Wow, well, let's go back. We need more information.

You know, yeah. They like to play it. Yeah, like to play it. Yeah, like why people do the Wurdle. Yeah. Send them a fridge magnet. We don't have any gizabeths. That's our hush money, fridge magnets.

Yeah. Where is she? Because we do, we have moved it to seven and eight o'clock. She's not happy. The six o'clock hour, we do. love our early audience and they are always fun and we do have the most fun. I can't start the day properly without it. Yeah, well, maybe she gets in the car at like 630. Yes, that's a yeah. Yes, so you're right. It's not necessarily about the winning. Well, sorry, but to anyone

who maybe has missed it, it is at 7 a.m. We can play a new game at 630 or something else. It might be for 10K. It's a sore out. It used to be an app for Apple Bucks. I don't think there is any more, you know, budget cuts, etc. Well, there's a lot of fun to be had so much fun in and around alpha bucks you know what i'm saying that's not what just we're about we're also about hunter valley gardens tickets we've got those here out from mariah every day you score those hunter valley gardens christmas life spectacular tickets plus spending money and accommodation at harrigans there in the valley so fantastic giveaways who knows what time the whistle note will go tomorrow could it be now we've given ours away today babbs you can't be that way

we can't be that but yes more fun to be had tomorrow yeah Absolutely. It's Wednesday. Oh my God, it's Dippy Dippy Shy Guy Day. Shag Guy Dips Day. Hey, are we due for a restock buck? Yeah, we got one more week. Ooh, this is your last week of cereal, perhaps. And then we go to Shire Guy Licks.

Oh, that's right. Yeah, okay. Change it up as we run to Christmas. Yeah, like that. Yep. What else we got tomorrow on the show, Shogga? You know, what else we... Let me bring up the tab that has tomorrow.

Oh, geez, I thought you were... I thought you were sending an email then. Well, you're all going to tell us about voice messages. Yeah, I'm going to do that. You've got an opinion. I'm going to ask the team about... You know everyone's sending audio messages now? Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on board with that, but I've got a question to ask about that. Oh, etiquette. Etiquette. And Jess's friends don't want to hang out with her, so we're going to hear about that. Oh, no. Yeah, we could do that. Or I'm currently in the middle of an investigation.

Yeah. And I can tell you about that tomorrow. I kind of want to hear about your friends all we're doing with you. We'll stick with that one. We're out of here. We're out of here. We're out of here. We're out of here.

We're out of here. If you could crack anyone, you could. could crack my mom. Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The Boo Bucket's Happy Meal is back this Halloween at Mackers.