Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Thats not a diss

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

Ducko lost something he fears he'll never get back, Jess overheard some smack talk and we ask, did you throw a divorce party?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new Macrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today. Jess and Douggo. This is the Jess and Douggo podcast. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. This is a very exciting day. This is massive moments.

Massive moments because we asked yesterday for a podcast opener. We created it if you were joining us on the pod. We created it live in the moment. Yeah. Now, he's not done exactly on my house because I wanted a full bed underneath it. Something goes for 18 seconds. Oh, he asked me that. I told him no bed.

Oh, right. That's why we still work shopping. Yeah. I can add the bed from tomorrow. I get to choose one to go. a wet or dry with the podcast. He likes a dry pot. Yeah, you're a dry back.

Whereas he's a few-w-wild wet. It's soaking. Anyway, here we go. He's done the power. Reliving the day, yeah. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the power. Re-living the day, yeah.

He's doubled it. I don't hate it. He's done the double. The more, the merry-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's done the double, which kind of makes you, Amiga. go twice, Jess, and then these two. It felt good, but I

almost, I think I have a note. I think these two need to round it out with a fuck yeah. I think there needs a combination. I think it needs a combination because that echoing fell a bit flat for me. Like that end, like reliving the day and we all go fuck yeah! Yeah, that's

I think how it needs. Like the big firework at the end. Yes, I like that. I like that. As opposed to the call and response. Okay. So what we need is a crisp clear fuckyer. We need to draw a crisp clear fuck yeah, okay. We record that. All right. On, on three. In high. You're high.

Fuck yeah. I can't do that. Here you can. One. One, two, three. Fuck yeah. Babs didn't do anything. I did.

No, you didn't. Yes, I did. All right. Let's do them individual just in case you can love them. Babs you go first. Five, six, seven, eight. Fuck you. That was high.

And that's the take. Very good. No one needs to go. You meant to be the most musical out of all of us. Wow. Jesus. That was very Elvin. I didn't mean to do that.

You were so hot. You can pop a capillary. Yeah. I was stressed. Okay. All right, Jess. Okay. Five, six, seven, eight.

Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. Bit, um, bit husky. Beat husky. Yeah. I think I'm losing, what was it in. Faw guy. Five, six, seven, eight.

Fuck yeah. Oh, that's quite nice. Totally. That's nice. Thank you. I'm going high. Do you need a counting? Yeah.

Five, six, seven, eight. Fuck yeah. Wow. Babs, was that, you? Oh, yeah, we're high. Do my balls just got back up. That was nice. Yeah.

Oh. That was beautiful That was great guys So doogie Work your magic Don't wait Do you want Duke Because he'll just listen to this

And then adapt I love you dogy morning So drop you guys echoing That relive in the day Replace with the collective Or just Babso Oh please don't To be honest

That was me just trying to make Babs On her own Oh we all I mean if that big group F yeah sounds good I think the big group one Feels like a nice comment And you come off the back

Here we go What a great show Yeah we're into it guys Because you know how great Dougie is He was worried that we were off time. I know. He always gets on that when we do song powery things.

It's just, it's a bit of podcast. It's okay. It's okay. And they're swear I noticed it says explicit. Yes. Just in case someone in Merichdor wants to play it. Don't know all our podcasts say explicit?

Yeah, because it's in the system. Like this is in Zeta. Just in case someone went rogue and fan. It goes, what's J&D podcast team? J&D sting long explicit? We better, we better play that live on the end. You know you would.

Without checking it. It doesn't work. Good luck if it works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, good like it works at all. But no, that feels good. I'll like that.

We'll have a revision 2.0 for tomorrow. That's a bit of fun. That is good. That's a bit of fun team. Again, you came in this morning saying, ah, damn, I didn't watch Team America, even though you admit to having time. I fell asleep.

You will like it, I think, shy guy. Dirk, do it. Yeah, you will enjoy it. Eric Bowie. Yeah, yeah. Watch it, too. Yeah, yeah. Watch it.

Give yourself a little viewing party. What are you up to, Ducco, you message him at midday. I'll message him at one. Okay. And you message him at two until we've got a, yes, I'm watching it. Yes, I'm doing it right now. Because what else are you doing?

Nothing. You know? But what were you doing yesterday? Nothing? I fell asleep. On the lounge or takes stuff to bed? Well, yeah, no, lounge. I was scrolling.

And then I just fell asleep. Bonnie Boodocco and a hand-in-paned nap, eh? Whanked himself to sleep. Oh, jeezed him wanked him. All right, thanks for clarifying, mate. No one reckons you did. You doubling down, makes me think you did now. You could have left it.

You should have left it. It's like, bad's in there with dirty Mike. She's like, I wasn't in the tent with Mike. We're talking about a fake fucking tent. No one thinks you're in there. Yeah, but I'm just defending myself. I can't let you just spin stories about me. Spin the stories.

Hey, the funny thing is to roll with it and go, yeah, Mike keeps farting, you know? And then we know she's definitely not in there with Mike. That's right. Oh, my God. He's serving up Mullagatani in the soup kitchen. Yeah. Obviously not because he's got Garud's oxygen. Yeah, see?

Now we're playing. Here we go. I was like, no, I'm not with Mike. Everyone's like, well, was she with Mike? I was talking about Babs last night. And one of the girls was like, oh, is her name Barbara. And I was like, yeah, may as well. It's fine.

I'm not going to get into it. I don't know who my name is anymore. Are you enjoying the name Babs? Because you came in as Billy and we gave you that and it sort of start. Bad ass Billy. Yeah. But I don't get just called Babs anymore in this office. Barbara, you do get Barb.

Yeah, Barbara. What about your friends? They call you... Close friends call me Bill. That's weird. You're not a bill to me. Really? No.

That whigs me out. I mean, they've known you for longer than me, but it just weeks me out. To be honest, that's my biggest issue with how Morgan spells your name. Your wife obviously has a greater claim to you than I do, but she refuses to put the K in Ducco, and it shits me to know where in. Well, say actually spell it. Do you say as how you actually spell it? Because my last name's to you, C-A-T. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's how all my friends spell it. But that to me is Jukho and she'll text a big like her. That's why we added the K in for billboard purposes. Because if people saw that, they'd say, Jess and Juko. Yeah. If they were really doing it properly because there's no K. If you just saw that, you'd go Juko. So we obviously added the K for ease of phonetics, but Morgan refuses to embrace this new era.

And she'll text me about, someone's saying, oh, Duko said, I'm like, who is Joko? All my day ones do that. Yeah. Similar to the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you know, if someone's known me for a long time. Yeah. Even I spell it with a K now.

I'm just used to seeing it like that. But then you wig me out, too, if ever were ordering a coffee and they say, what's your name? You go, Nick. It's just easier. It's just easier. It's so much easier. And you say, Ducco, they go, with a K or no K?

Yeah. This is a whole thing. Yeah. I'll say, do you say, do you say, ducco? And, like, sometimes they know you, sometimes they don't. And you feel like a wanker. And in 2025, you know, you know, names could be anything. Yeah, yeah.

The name could be fridge. It could be. It could be. Yeah, yeah. I'm winging out. I think my headphones are absolutely cooked. Oh, no. I'm having like an electrical static.

Oh, no. You can't hear that. That's just me. Oh, no. I think they're, oh, no. I've got a new chord from Nick Lawson. Oh, like a new actual. Every time.

Oh, that's, oh, no. So what can this whole thing? You can take that out and get a new cord. Listen to this every time I talk into here. Can you hear that weird like reverberation? Yeah. I don't like that. Oh, that's true.

Oh. Oh, we're throwing them out. So cord, can I get a new cord? Yeah, I don't want those pieces of shit. Unless it's in the ear, if it's in the ear, there's nothing you can do. Check this out. It could be the core. I think it's the core.

Oh, yes, cool. Yeah, he should have another cord. He gave me one. Yeah, we should. Yeah. Unless I got the last one. Oh, no. They don't make these anymore.

Yeah, we've heard. They don't make the AKGs like they used to. God, not having headphones on rigs me out. It's weird, hey, you can't do it. When you've done guests, like as a guest on someone's podcast. Yep. Do you wear headphones or not? Because I'm seeing a lot more people obviously

People are filming their podcast now And either YouTube, socials, whatever I'm seeing a lot of people just straight up Not even wear inner ears They're just not wearing headphones Call her daddy one of the biggest podcast ever Doesn't wear headphones The guest doesn't wear them

To make it more of a lack If I was in a pod If I wasn't like anchory and stuff But in the radio environment I feel like I need to It makes me feel more comfortable with them on I agree I want to be surround sound right It's like wearing a condom in sex

It's just safer You know be a full wrap you tool. Exactly right. Amen. Don't use a balloon. Yeah. You don't, yeah.

Lunar. That's called back to the fetish. You might have heard that in yesterday's podcast. Yeah. But yeah, oh, that feels weird. You couldn't do a radio show without them. Yeah. Now, my headphones.

You know, you're not going well in the Jess and Ducko team. You are going to a bit curse. We're talking about you dying today. I'm worried. Stay away from me, everyone. Goodness gracious. Imagine you'll be fucking grim. Because you'll hear in this show about it.

We're talking about my death and what the team would do. If I did die today, goodness. me. That's fucking whack. Because the news reports will be like, radio posts joke about death. And then everyone thinks I'm faking it. Maybe I'm faking it.

You know what I mean? Just to get it clips. Do you want a death that would get you on the news? Or do you want a peaceful death that no one really talks about? Nah, news me. Yeah, hit me up hard. If I'm going to go, go to explode or something. Yeah, yeah.

I don't. Yeah, well. I want to explode when I'm 99. Yeah. Long age, explosion. Yeah. What are you going to ask, Shaga? I don't know.

Is there a way to talk about... I feel like I had questions? Is there a way you know you want to go, Shiger? No. Yeah. No. He'd be, I want to go in to sleep. Shagga, say something cool, like stroke.

What the fuck? Oh, he wants, you know what he wants to do. Jerk himself to do. Ah, erotic, or exfixiation. The man died of dehydration. Yeah, he went on an absolute... Michael Hutchins died like that. Shoking himself in a cupboard while jerking off.

That's right. Yeah, really? With a belt. Yep. Is that on the record? Yeah. I mean, that's how he was body was found. Wow.

He was obviously doing the erotic asphyxiation. The elder's story that he died on the toot. I don't know. I've heard that too. I think that is true. He was so, like, backed up. I think then he had a... Cause of death.

Hang on, he didn't die from constipation, did he? I think, like, he literally has not shipped for that long. Are you saying the strain? Yeah, and then he just had like... Google that? All right, Google off. I thought that was true. How did Elvis die?

The official cause of death was heart attack. Yeah. Caused by a combination of drugs. However, what's the toilet thing? Did he die on the toilet? Elvis actually died a death that is quite common, albeit embarrassing one. Elvis was sitting on the toilet. Babs straining very hard to have a bowel movement.

And that's what gave him a heart attack. A manoeuvre that put an amount of pressure on his heart and aorta. So whilst the cause of death was heart attack, it was brought on by the preceding circumstances. Babs keep regular. Wow. Yeah, that's scary. Yeah, metamusal. Ease up on the prescription drugs because that's what they're blaming.

for Elvis. Prescription? He was not everything and anything, wasn't he? Oh, well, you're right. Yeah. How long, this is, people also ask, you know, how Google gives you a picture? How long did Elvis go without pooping before he died? Was it like a week?

No, no, no. Two weeks? A month. Way more. Because he was on that many drugs. And he probably wasn't eating much too, because he was on, you know, how long? Four months of stool sitting in his bowel. You can't.

So obviously when they've done the autopsy, they've gone. This is four months worth. Wow. I'm doing two, three, a day. Elvis. You're a, you're a unicorn. You're a poo unicorn. And you told me now the protein will make me fartier.

Yeah, hasn't? Which clearly means I was already in a base level of fartiness. Well, maybe your guts just don't get affected by all that. Maybe, maybe. Yeah, that's wild. They say after a week if you don't poo, that's severe constipation. So what's four months? Well, that's dead.

He's got to be just that cooked. In extreme cases like Elvis, it's chronic constipation. How sad, the king, what is he called? The king of rock and roll, that's the legacy. Four months of poop stuck in his small intestine. That's the better game for Google it, too. Like the common things that ask with Google. What's the most common thing that comes up when you type in Elvis?

Oh, okay. Yeah, everyone's going to find that, you know what I mean. Cause of death, biggest scandal. Or is everyone's fine different? Maybe we could twist what you're going to get when you Google it, the game we played once. That's what I just said. Yeah, that's what I meant. We can bring it back and that can be.

Do you want to do a do a do an. addition. Like, that's a... So, perhaps you've got your phone. Shai, I get your phone. Do you have the opener? Oh, wait. Sorry, how is it a competition, though?

As in who can type it in the phone? I guess. No, no, no. I guess it's like if I type in... Oh, sorry, you're guessing, so we're not doing... Guess the prompt. But you need to think of, like, a... You need to think of something.

Like, it needs to be a person, right? Yes. If I do... It could be in a... Okay, if I type in... If I type in... Tom. Who is the most common Tom that pops up first?

Cruz. Hanks. from MySpace. Oh, it is Cruz, Tom Cruise. And then the first thing will be net worth. Ooh. Or how many Mission Impossibles have there ever been? No.

That's up there. Life? No. Oh, that's a great one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. See, that's fun. That is fun.

And also you've got sort of like layers. And what's the next layer though? Yeah, yeah. Well, if it's hot. Tom Cruise, so we've got height. You know, have you seen there's an age? There's an interview thing where they get like a big cardboard thing and it's almost like a printout of the Google searches

and the celebrities go along and reveal each one and then also almost answer the questions that are most commonly searched for them. This is essentially that game. Okay, so then I go Tom Cruise Age. What do you think the most common thing is that comes up after that, like the next thing? Oh, so after people have looked up height, they've looked up age. They also want to know.

Actually, no, let's keep it on theme. I'll go Tom Cruise height. Okay. Oh, no, that's more boring. High difference between him and Katie Holmes? Yeah, no, it was heightened feet, heighten centimeters. But Tom Cruise's age, it's got ages in various movies. Or do you like then get off the theme and do something else?

Do you maybe, yeah, is it remove the height element? Yeah. And stay with Tom? Or we could just do another round. Yeah, like, and then, because it's got to be. Because I liked that. It was like, what was the Tom? And then what was the thing?

It's the lead in. It's got to be something, you know, common. Is there anything like that, that field where it says people also ask? So once you've done Tom Cruise, like, whatever, height, if that's the initial search, has Google batted up? Other things people want to know about him? Movies height, age, net worth girlfriend, teeth. Teeth. Oh, yeah, because his teeth are not symmetrical.

They're like, oh, that's right. They're off centre, aren't they? Oh, yeah. That's what it says. That's what it says here on Google. Yeah. You win this round, Bups. Thanks.

Yeah, yeah. The most, I mean, the most trending searches on Google right now. is wordal answer. Good Charlotte to a ticket. Who's cheating the wordal? Cole's chocolate donuts missing. Let's go into that one. Oh, hello.

You know, 21 hours ago, stop supplying beloved items vanished from Cole's shelves. I did see that last night. I chose not to put that. Yeah, that's interesting. The chocolate ones. Yeah, chocky donuts.

Like the icing is the chocolate melt one? I think so. Oh, I like those ones. Oh, no, they're missing. They're not there. I love donuts. They're not there. Let me write that down for them.

There's a list. You'll hear about that. and the show closed in about an hour and a half. I actually just like dessert. The problem with this game is you've got to find the things to actually... I know, you've got to find the original... And it's got to be easy enough that you can all get within the realm, right? And that everyone can play at home.

Everyone can play at home. But I do like the... If you type into Google, what was... What is the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what is the... No, you're not going to get any of these. And then are that funny.

Okay. Yeah. Minimum wage in Australia. Date today. Dark web. Population of Australia. What is the 6-7 meme? Oh, that's so true.

That's the other one that pops up. Yeah, see, it's a fun game, but it's hard to... Yeah, it's got to be the right prompts to start with. How do you prompt? I mean, if you have any ideas, you can always message us. That's right. 04-8-1-169 or slide into the DMs. We'd love to workshop a game with you.

Yeah, because there's definitely something there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, anyway. We could do it with the Tuesday game. Yes. Yeah. It's all resting on the laurels of the blog. Yeah, I mean, she's already working hard.

It's a lot of blog pressure, man. That is. Anyway, we can workshop that. That's right. Workshop that. I can't think of another way around it. Take us out with a, fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, he does, babes.

Fuck yeah. Oh, that was nice. Oh, sweet. Well, it's like end of a podcast, right? Oh, we're closing. Oh, no, do a fuck yeah, but you're tired. Fuck you. Oh, that's bad.

There we're good. Can you do a southern? Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, your coach, Bill Yost from Remember the Titans. Oh, wait. Just give yourself a line to lead in. Give yourself a line to lead in, you know what I mean?

Ain't it the truth. Yeah, there you go. I'm fucking love. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know I got the shit that you're like. There's only one show to wake up with you. I'm not that easy to tang.

Just this tidal wave of liquid entering me. I'm got to explain. Ducco. No one moves a box like the Duckman. That's going to be at my tombstone. I got him going insane. Shut up. Poor bitch has forgotten how to drink.

Fast. Cows and fish, Billy. I'd be like, oh, well, actually one of them's gone, you know? Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Good morning. What beautifully educated, nice-sounding people we are, you know? I'm sorry, I'm bloody turning my headphones up.

I meant to be turning them down. I saw you jump. You just were getting louder and I kept turning the dial the same way. I'm such a boomer. Nothing wigs you out more than when your headphones pop too loud. And I must say, someone's obviously touched this since yesterday. Yeah, my knobs were fiddled with. Well, your knobs fiddled with?

I think it got clean. Who's been recording a podcast in here, shy guy? No, I've been recording a podcast. Yeah, no, there was... This studio's been used for an announcer. Who? Name them. Alex.

I don't know who that is. Okay. I'm on here in W.A. Ah. Well, you tell him that we ain't there. Well, wouldn't she have been on Ducco side? Why are my knobs fiddled me? I can't explain your knobs, but yours...

Alex loves to touch your knob. If you're going to feel. fiddle with one knob, you're fiddling with them all. Is Alex a lady? Yeah, she works with us. Alex Brackett F in this instant. Do you know who was talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know she was doing the W.A. Did she in this building? Have I met her?

You probably crossed past with her. Oh, yeah, I think she sat out with us once a while ago. Oh. Yeah, that was Alex. Oh. One of offered to do some socials for us. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. That's Alex. I didn't know she did stuff in W. Yeah. She works for us in the W. She works for us in the W. I don't know how much

I'm supposed to tell us. I regret sending her Is that embargoed? Is that embargoed? Yeah, you'd be right. Alex, good to have you in the studio. But also, Alex, don't catch me nobs. Because you nearly, you blew my eardromes out and I don't know which direction to turn this thing.

Interesting that yours were affected. Maybe she had a guest on. Thank you. Maybe she did have a guest on. Maybe she got DeRulo. Mate, I don't know, the budgets are high. She could have had anyone pit bull. Who knows who was sitting here?

Teddy swims. He's in the country. Still hanging out with our mates. Teddy is in. Teddy is in the country. And you're right. This weekend, Mara, Little John was Khalifa.

Pitbull. Maybe Pitbull. Oh, God, I feel cool if Pitbull used my headphones. Yeah, Pitbull went on her show but not ours. Hey, man, stranger things have happened. Yeah, I know. I know. Can we have a guest at Friday's Live?

Absolutely not. Actually, sorry, Ducker. Let's just put the hot lamp onto Shy Guy here. Oh, we're putting a lava lamp on the Shy Man. We're putting a lava lamp onto Shy Guy as the executive producer of this program and as a representative of this network that is putting on Friday's Live this week. end? Why haven't we spoken to any of them? Yeah. Where's Pitbull?

Where is Pitbull? I understand Mariah doesn't acknowledge time. It'll be hard to get it. No, such thing it's time. Where's Pipel? I want Pipel. We haven't been offered. No, no, no, no. See the issue there, Ducko? Yeah. We haven't been offered. Where's the... But that's also above me. I want Bulldog shy guy to go chase pit bull.

Yeah. Okay. I hate that to me, babe. But I know what the answer will be. You've got three days. Can we just... Can we bring everyone to what we were discussing off air really briefly? No, this should be a break. Are you reckon?

I reckon we could talk about this. Okay, let's do it next. We'll do it next. Okay, okay. Because there was something shot guys said, that's actually kind of upset me. All right. If I'm being honest. No, no.

What do we always say? Yeah, yeah. Let's go into Ducko's therapy tent. Come on in. Do the zip up. Yeah, yeah. Next, next. We're jumping in my therapy tent.

So you've opened it? Yeah, that's open now. And next you're going to close it. Why is always just in here. We're with Dirty Mike. She's a fan of a soup kitchen. How are you, Babs? Good morning to you.

Morning. Oh, wow. Hold on. What's going on? Are you upset? We haven't got Pit Bull as well. Yeah, I'm really upset, actually. Yeah.

And who are you after? You after Wiz Khalifa. No, I like Tiny Temple. Oh, that's just. We could probably get Havana Brown. I ask for Pitbull. No disrespect to the big banana. We can also get a shepherd too, mate.

We don't want them. Oh, we can get a shepherd. I've got their phone number on my boat. Oh, he's up to be a bull. on to get Shepard, but when it comes to pit bull, nah, don't know if I'll waste me time. No, not about wasting time. I'll send an email to the head of music and we'll see where that name. Well, now was three days to go. Where was this attitude three weeks ago?

Has anyone in the network done interviews with them? Probably Carrie and Tommy. Our friend, Shawnee B, did a chat with Mariah when it was first announced, but that's the only one I know of. I haven't seen any others, no. No, neither. Yeah. So what I'm hearing is they're all probably waiting for an email. Geez, none of the producers want to talk to us.

We're coming all the way to Australia. What's happening? Eve is sitting there going No one wants to chat Not one person Not one person wants to talk about me Hit the stage Where's the bar

I'm going to ask The line up with who we'll talk to I'll take any of them Is it even up? Even up baby Even up Right No spice is cool

Tell me how to breathe with no air It's a good song You know I'm going to ask them Do you get nervous How do you remember the lyrics Do you get nervous When you perform

And then they're never Going to give us another interview again Let's aim for one And then we can worry about any more. What's your favorite song that you do? Oh, my God. What's your dream collab? Yeah.

There we go. See, this interview writes itself. See, send them this. Yeah. So they can prepare. Oh, I will send them this. Absolutely, I'll send them this. It's all started with Alex from WA using your chair.

And here we are. Fiddling with me knobs. Fiddling me knobs. Yeah, I've got to leave a little posted here. If you're going to touch me knobs, put them back. Put the knobs back where they were. Same to you, how were your knobs? Well, I'm actually fine.

All my levels were exactly the same. Oh, no, my headphones were a bit high. I did turn them down. I was going to say, so, okay. But my buttons, my knobs are here, you know, the duckman's knobs get fiddled with all the time. I'm so used to it. I just sort of, I spread leg and open up, you know what I mean?

Absolutely, you do. I'm like a dog wanting to be scratched. Belly up. Hey, big show for the team. We've got Alphibs, of course. You're a chance of $10,000. We've got Babs's blog on the show today. Hell yeah.

Hopefully she's okay by then. Yeah, we'll touch base of that. Well, maybe next, let's touch on. Let's unpack something. Let's unpack what we were talking about. out of fair. I'll bring you into my therapy therapy tent.

Well, the zip's open. The zip's open. You're going to close it. Not in with dirty mind. You are in there. Have you left there any soup for us? Ooh, French onion on the menu. Shy guy's not going to be happy.

I love French onion. Oh no, it's just Bazin Currie. That's not a dish, man. Hang on, hang on. Sorry, Ducko. I know you wanted to get to it. I've got 10 seconds left before the music cuts out. When have you ever worried about that?

Is it on the cutting? No, she can see it. I know. It's angled differently. Someone touched the screen. Yeah, good. Let's bring it down. Let's get serious.

Isn't he on the record as saying the one soup he had was a French onion in Thailand and it ruined him for soup forever? No, I thought it meant like French onion dip. Sorry. That's not a diss, man. We're in a soup kitchen.

We're in a soup kitchen. And you've jumped on the dip train. I was drafting my email to Kiri about getting people on. If you can't do two things at once, don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trueer words have never been spoken on this show. And also, Babs is in my tent with curryed sausages. Okay, there's no soup in here.

Have you ever seen? seen him get his backup more. That's not a diss. I like French onion. That's the face. That's not a dis, man. Nothing affects me. On Teflon. Anyway, let's unpack some things after. Right, dip boy.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko, you've opened the zipper. Yeah, hold on. Now I think you need to close the zipper. Okay, let me just close my We are in your... Hold on. The zip stuck. Let me just... There we go. Got it. Up and down a bit. Yeah, it's just...

We are in your therapy. tent. Yes, we are. Welcome to the therapy tent. It's a safe space. How long have you been in here, Babs? A couple days. You're living here now.

You're off your housemates that much. Free rent and curry sausage on tap. That's so true. It's a bit swampy in here, guys. But there's no microwave in here, so she's eating cold. It's cold. It never goes off, baby. That's a beauty of boiled sausage.

It's so true. It's not actual food. Hey, the reason we're here is because off air, we're in a joke. I don't remember. How did it actually come up? Oh, Shagai, I think Shago said, no, I said, what happens? I was being philosophical. I was joking. I just want to put the caveat there. I said, how did we get on to it?

I don't know, but I said, what would happen if I died? Like, what would you guys do? And then Shagai was genuinely like... You drop dead this afternoon. Something happened, tragic. Obviously sad, tragic. Obviously, we find out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This would be up there. There's fish death in the show and then my death. Like, we're talking even sort of keel. That's right. And then Shirego... We all have bereavement. leave up our sleeves. We do plenty of it.

And the Shagga was like, oh, geez, what would we do? And he started getting his little producer hat on. And then you, Jess, were like, well, we'd have to come on air tomorrow and tell the people and then take some time. We'd absolutely have to take some time. I would have to recalibrate. How am I ever going to laugh again? Because it would all feel like a betrayal to you. But what do we do for three?

Do we wait till 8 o'clock? Like, do we say bigger downsmen? Like, you can't drop it at 6. No, it's wasted. So Shagel's just. It's wasted. It is. Shaggo's like,

guys, hold Dugger dead content till 8.10. Jess, can you do what did you lose at 740? Do you do a normal show until that point? Dago, let's play it out. You have been off. I'm off.

What happens when you're off? Shy guy sits in your big seat and has to do. Alpah's rules suck. It has to do what we call. What we call, because you read it off the sheet for once in your life. Quiet, French, onion. Yeah, Dibby,

Dibby, you French onion boy. But usually he will then take over that role, what we call anchoring here. How you come off the song. Tell us the time. Someone's got to steer the ship. Someone's got to steer the ship.

So it'd be shy guy coming off going there. Big announcement. It's Jess and shy guy. Ducco's not here. Yeah, yeah. Find out where he is after it. Jess is just crying. You're going to hold it together while we do what's in your mouth or something.

I don't know. It would be the most grim two hours to get to the 8 a.m. announced. That's what I mean. I don't. We have to do it. Is it like when the queen died in the UK every 15 minutes? It's a loop.

Don't give him a big kid. It's like when the queen... There'll be a moment of mourning for the people. Well, you guys, I'd imagine you do OBs at all the various locations I've attended. But here's the real kicking, right? Because then I buzzed out to Bads and I said, what would you do? Babbs goes, well, I imagine we'd take some time off. And I said, how much?

Babs goes at least a couple of weeks. And shy guy by himself typing an email goes, a couple of weeks. The show can't stop. The show must go on. You would not care if I died. You'd be like, you have your moment and you'd be like, all right, well, I'm just going to keep doing my job. What are they always saying this industry, doggie?

Replaceable. We are so replaceable. There is a queue of people standing behind us. The sharks are circling. Waiting for us to collapse. The first person in line behind you, it's Mr. Guy over here, clearly. I don't want that. Wow.

At least Babs has given me a few weeks, and Jess was never doing laughing again. I don't think I could. You were just ready to work again and don't do the content create. Has Alex finished her W-A shift? Maybe she could sit in. Put her on.

Hey, if I die, guys, if I die, they'll be... And Babs and I would be really upset. I'll be very upset. I don't think Babs would enjoy the leaf, though. That's not true. Oh, you'd be upset? Yeah, but then the leaf would be good. Jess and Ducko.

Just quickly, Ducko. I learned something last night that I thought, what would really tickle you. Yes, yes. It is in the sign language world. Now, I appreciate that we're an audio medium. Yeah. But I think any way we can sort of connect with people who, let's be real,

speak other languages is a good thing. So I'm going to do my best to explain this sign. Okay. Obviously, using my words, you will be able to see me, though. I only know how to say shut up in sign language. That's it. How do you say shut up inside? Very good.

Shut the gate, then point out. How did you learn that? Where I learned that. Did you have an Osland friend or a deaf friend? We heard of COVID times and there was the sign person on the screen all the time. Yes, during the press conferences with the premiers. And you'd always see him. We'd watch press conferences.

Like, never has a press conference has been watched more in history. There was a point of viewing. It was a great viewing. And we got to know all our politicians so well. So funny, you say that. So last night I went to a bit of a political talk. Hannah Ferguson from Cheek Media was in town and I went with a group of girlfriends to hear her and she was incredible. But she made a similar point.

She was talking about COVID briefly and she went, When in history have you been able to name every state's premier? I can't anymore, but I could then. Yeah, they were characters in a sitcom. Why did I know Mark McGowan's name? W.A. Premier, I don't even know if he still is, but at the time, you could name everyone. Everyone. But yeah, so Hannah's up on stage, and she had a guest to start with, Punter Conrad, who's huge in the political space on social media.

So there were two Oslan interpreters up on stage with them, one to obviously translate for Hannah, one to translate for Conrad. And the conversation, as it is naturally going to, when you're having a political conversation, obviously focusing on Australia, it's going to turn to America. Daddy, you're my daddy. And Trump is going to get brought up. And you could hear as they were talking. China, China, China, China, China. China. China, China.

And having to say his name more and more. China. A few snickers were going around the room because people were realizing the sign, the Osland. sign for Trump. For Trump. They made this. Hannah had to actually stop down at one point and said, you know what, in like the Canberra show or whatever?

Yeah. One of the questions that was profite to her in the Q&A section was, can you ask your Oslan interpreters, what's their favorite sign to do? And they both agreed it is the sign for Trump because they had to come up with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, Trump is obviously already a word, but to denote the President Trump,

they had to come up with a new sign. And it's this. It's like a cupped hand. on the head, almost inferring comb over. Tupé. It's like this. It's like a... It's his hair.

It's the head. I thought it was like a clock opening and like no brains inside. Like, cuckoo! I guess you can interpret it like that. So it's hand on the, on the top of the head and it's almost like you lift it up with a cup shape. Yeah. So you can imagine he's floppy, tupe. Yeah, he's all tupeie.

Slapping in the wind. Yeah. There are actually so many things you could target. You could target his skin, like his skin color. But you, there are so many. And that's what. They've gone with that. That's so funny.

And everyone just erupted. I thought, I've got to share that. That is fantastic. Because it feels very, he's obviously been president or been around since 2016 when he had his first term. So I've just never seen that before. And my God, that was a great one. So there you go. If you ever see that, they're talking about Trump.

The hand on top of the head, they're talking about Trump. Choupé hair. I love it. Let's play Alphabox. 13, 10, 60. Give us a call as well right now if you want to play. You want to win $10,000. Let's do it.

We've fallen a bit. off the radar with good players. That's right. We gave away the 10 granta Sonia who wanted to go to the pyramids three weeks ago. Was that three weeks ago? Could have been longer. Could have even been longer. What we're saying, it's been too long. It's been too long. Give us a call. We'll get you on.

Next. Jess and Ducko in the morning. 30 seconds. 10 questions all started with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. If you answer to the question, say buzz. We come back your first time. You can say buzz?

As long as you don't say skip. He doesn't say skip. He's like, pass, you know. We go to Andrew today. Who are you doing? Who's that guy? I don't walk. That's it.

The shy guys in the hand, you know. It's kind of fun. That's very good. Thank you. Christopher Walken. Meet Angela. Angela. Meet Christopher Walker.

Hi, Christopher. Angela, you know, you've got to win the money today. for the Alva Bucks game. Yeah. Edge, that's not very, that's good. I'm just with Starstruck. Christopher Walken in studio, just for you, Angela. How does that make you feel?

Couldn't get chepard. Oh, very starstruck, yeah, I see. Very good, Angel. Let's lean into it. What brings you to, actually, Christopher, could you ask Angela what she wants to spend the money? Money, Angela, we don't do with it. I don't know what you're saying.

I'll translate, what's motivating you today? What's the first thing you're buying with 10 grand? I'm going to get some Botox. Oh, get it, Queen. Yes. Yes, here we go. You do you, see, I mean, for 10 grand,

that's going to sort you out for a while, I don't know. I'm going to look 10 years younger. How much is a bit of to talks? That's a great question. Andrew, have you had it before, or would this be your first time? I have, yeah. So my whole face and my lips, that was about 1,000. Oh, okay, there you go.

So 10 goes. I thought it would be more. I don't know why. Yeah. Yeah, you know, Ange probably doesn't need much. She just wants a little, little... No, no, no, I'm very... Exactly.

Well, how's this? Angela, great synergy. The letter you're going to work with, it's not B for Botox, but it's T for Tighten Up. Yeah, you go. Oh, okay. That's a solid letter. Are you happy with that?

Yeah. Yes, yeah. All right, well, let's rock and roll. Let's go, Angela. Oh, Doug, Doug, I'm back. I'm back, sorry, yeah. Give Miss Christopher Walker. God, he's amazing.

I saw him strutting down the Hoy. He's out there floating with Babs. He's intense, man. I don't know if Babbs can handle his intensity. Angela, let's lock in. You're ready? Yep. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter T, we need you to name, an electronics brand. Oh, tech. A band. Pass. A verb. Tent. A condiment. Tartesot.

A director. A past. A sitcom. Pass? A flower. A puff. A girl's name. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, Chris was back. No money, not bontas for you. We got one. Maybe Christopher threw her. Yes. I mean, star power. Yeah. It didn't start well with electronics being tech.

I know. It could have been Tashiba. It could have been Tesla. Yeah. Yeah. A band. Yeah. Oh, well.

A band is, you don't think of train or third eye blind, but a band is there. They needed to. A verb you said tent. I know we'll do. Man, I guess you could like to tent something. We were just in my therapy tent. But I don't know. Do you tent when you get a steamy?

It tents your pants. You pitch a tent. Yeah, maybe. I mean, you're really reaching, Jess. I am. I'm trying to get you. I would have taken more than right. I'm talking to talk or teach.

I'm really bad at those, those English things. Yeah. All that stuff. Director, it could have been Tim Burton or Taco Batiti. A sitcom could have been in the office, a flower, tulip. Oh, look, you know. Hey, hey, shire guy's giving us the nod. Tent can be a verb.

Oh, Tim can be a verb. He's got to, baby. Oh, hold your head up on like. Oh, well, there you go. I don't know it was my stiffy No, I've learnt something too today Yeah, yeah, we're all out Hey look, you don't get the money Angela

You don't get a day with Christopher Walken But you do get a hundred dollars to spend at Crocs Oh, okay, great Yeah And you know what? What's that? We didn't do this for the people yesterday Should we give her a jiz bit?

I may as well Angela, we're going to say to a Jess and ducco jiz bit You can poke through the whole of your crocs Oh, thank you, that's so cute You can look down and think of us whenever you walk Oh, definitely will. And Christopher Walker.

That's right. Who needs Botox? You can have a jezbo. Exactly right. I'll be looking down at my feet and no one will be able to see my face. What's up? Thanks Angela. Have a great day.

All right. Bye. We play again a late. Jess and Ducco. Hey, it's Babs and this is my blog. Ments Operation superstar Brat Slay. The Slate Queen herself is in studio. Hi, Babs.

She's here. What's going on? Not much. We can't find her fish today. There's a bit of a... No, I found it. Oh, I found it. Yeah, I found it.

It was hiding under a rock. That would have been an interesting twist. The killer, the hunter, becomes the hunted. Yeah. But she's okay. Yeah, she's fine. Okay. She's not...

She's full. She's full. She's good. She's going to poop me out one day. I think that's already happened. Oh, you're a wrecked. Yeah. Now, do you guys still have landlines at home?

No. Like a home phone. No. Not since moving out of home. No, yeah. Any of the properties I've been in haven't had a landline. I can remember my home. I can remember my home phone.

I can remember my home phone number, but I don't have one. Any of your parents still currently have one? No. Yes, my parents still do have the landline. That's hilarious. I mean, very Rob Farsh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty sure if we called.

I mean, he'd answer, but he's got the voicemail. Hello, you've called the Farchione household. Yeah. We should call him. Well, they're actually making a resurgence, but not in the way that you would think. So this one, Gen Z and Millennials have come together, actually. Okay. So they've found something to bond over.

So obviously people are becoming incredible. increasingly glued to their phones. So someone in New York has created a solution for it. And what it is, is that you actually hang up your phone and attach it to the wall and that's where it stays. Hang on to my iPhone. How do I attach it to the wall? You create like a case or something that sticks to the wall and that's where it sits.

And when you use it? I hope it would charge it. Oh, kind of like how we've mounted the Dyson. Goodness me. Yeah, that's what I'm picturing it. And it is a charger and a holder at the same time. And that's where it lives forever. So whenever you need to answer the phone, you get it off the dock, answer it there, put it back.

So it's not in your pocket all the time. So you can't use it for like social media, et cetera. Yeah, basically. If you're watching TV, you're not scrolling. Yeah, so it's just a way to separate you from your phone. I wonder if this person was watching his robo vac dock back home and he went, you know, it would be good if I could do that with my phone. Yeah.

Just have somewhere it lived permanently. That's interesting. Yeah, because they actually did a study and they found that people obviously are doing better when they're not constantly on the phone, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this has been a solution that both millennials and Gen Z have come up with. I don't mind this. The problem is you'd do it, it'd be like starting a new fitness fad or something.

Like, you'd do it for a few days, and then you'd eventually just do it less and less, and then you wouldn't do it at all, and then you'd stare at that dock on your wall. Because what am I meant to do on the toilet? Yeah, well, you know what I'm going to go back to buying the paper and taking that in with me. So there'd be these little gateway moments where you go, I won't leave it on the dock, I will bring it with me. Isn't it funny?

Like, I will never leave my phone behind. but I can leave other things behind. But your phone is just, like, so attached to you. Don't you just feel, I try and do your unplugged walks, Bab. I try and I leave the phone. Yeah. I'd get two steps away from that thing out of my house. I go, there's going to be an emergency.

And I justified in my brain if there's going to be an emergency, I'll be uncontactable, and or I won't be able to call for help. Yeah. You can justify it anyway. Well, you can still take your phone. Just put it on do not to step. That's what I do. How do you do that?

Is there a button for that? Interesting. Someone's DM'd me. So we, what a bit of, BonCon comes through. I don't want to miss that. So will you be doing that at home now? Probably not.

I just thought it was really interesting. And now, like, the parents are opting to give their kids different phones or putting a landline in their house so that they can stop giving kids' iPhones really young. Yeah. My parents are almost inadvertently doing this. On top of having an actual landline, they have those charging ports where you just sort of magnetize that to them.

So they constantly sit on the kitchen bench. So that's just where they permanently leave. So I don't walk around the house with them. I just can't fathom having your phone like three rooms away from you all the time. I know. I don't know. That's bad, but I can't. I know.

It is weird, isn't it? Yeah. Do you have your phones on loud? Because mine rings via my watch. So I always just hear my watch vibrate. Vibrate. Yeah, yeah. So I don't ever actually have my phone ringing.

No, exactly. No, the number of phone calls I miss. Yeah. Even Angus, important phone calls. And it's funny because I talk about, what if there's an emergency and I miss it? Well, why is my phone constantly on silent? It's silent, yeah. It doesn't make sense, actually.

But nothing's more embarrassing when your phone ringing loudly in public. I don't know why. It's so bizarre. So I don't know about yours. My iPhones connected to my laptop, yeah? So if my laptop's open, it will ring. Everything rings. Even though my phone's not making the sound.

And I've got the obviously, whatever the standard ringtone is set up. The phone rang yesterday. The sound plays through my laptop. My daughter, two years old, looked at me. She calls her grandmother, Gigi. That's important for the story. Looked to me and went Gigi. Oh.

Because obviously she hears her grandma's ringtone. I think it's that. Boomers would have it on loud. I went, oh, my gosh, he thinks I'm a grandma, because the loud ringtone is gone on. It could also be the fashion as well. It's the gorman. Could be a combination of the two. Yes and Ducco.

It's getting worse, Ducco. Oh, no. The robot takeover. You and AI. We know, you know. We know they're coming for our jobs. Yeah. We know that.

Did you see that article? Showing it sent last night. It's a headline that they're predicting that work weeks will go down to three days based off AI. and how many jobs it's going to take. So am I like job sharing with a robot? So I do the three days and it does the two. Yeah, maybe, possibly. Or you just don't have a job, but then I don't know how they're going to earn money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we know. Let's go with job sharing, though. I like that. Your friends. I'd rather that than be completely ousted by the robot. But we're seeing it. I can't think of an industry that wouldn't be feeling the effects and maybe feeling

daunted. I think you're on either side of the camp. Do you reckon? You're either embracing it or you're scared. I'm still very firmly scared, and I've got my walls up. What do you make of this, though? Because this is something, this is a practice that I know you're very passionate about. You enjoy it where you can find the time.

Massage. A place in America, it's called the Lottie, New York Palace. Oh, yeah. USA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Lottie, New York. Housing the world's first AI-powered spa service. It's a fully automated robotic massage system that starts.

There's no human involved. You walk into this room. It's just you and this robot chair. You lie in there and an iPad. You lie in there, it does a full body scan. Which feels very futuristic, doesn't it? To see where you're tight. Yes.

Oh, that's cool. So then you can target where the pressure is best needed and actually dedicate how much time you want. I'm going to leave all that. You want to, you want an ending from a robot? That feels weird. There'll be a happy ending partner. There'll be parlours for that.

All the pressure seems to be located south of the equator, mate. These are, oh, I can control the firmness. Oh, there are you beauty? Simply choose your pressure, target areas, and how's this session length? Anywhere from a quick, cheeky 15-minuteer. Yes. All the way up to a two-hour deep dive. The only thing I feel.

The chafing for two-year. Two hours with a robot. The only thing I feel would be good about this is whenever I do get a massage, I never have the courage to say harder. Or just,

can you go a bit further on there? Even when they ask. Yeah, yeah. How's that pressure? I was just good! Yeah. You know? I have been,

I think it was the last time I was in Bali, one of those lovely spars that you pay an absolute pittance, I shouldn't complain. Yeah. But I ticked on me my form firm.

Wasn't that a mistake? She was trying to break me. Too firm. I swear she was trying to dislocate my neck. Yeah. And I still said nothing. I feel fantastic. Coming out, limping.

Robotic arms will glide across your body, targeting those areas that you've denoted as tight. And even tell you in real time. You know, one of the things for me in a human massage is, I love it on the, let's say, the shoulders. Yep. Just stay on the shoulders. Just stay there for a little while.

Hopper. But then they move. I could take or leave a calf. Yeah. Oh, I like a good calf right down. Yeah. See, everyone likes different things. But I guess as a masseuse, you're just doing the stock standard. Five minutes here, eight minutes here, 12 minutes here.

Whereas on the robot, you can go, stay here, stay here, stay here, you know. She's, I'd overdo it too, wouldn't they? Well, yeah, melting away your knots in real time. It also, like, what if they malfunction and they glitch and they just get harder and harder all of a sudden? If you've hit firm, and then it's almost like that button has just stayed pressed down, the robot goes, I'll give you firm. Yeah, yeah. There's also light heat involved. You can have some sort of heat sensation.

Well, that would be nice. Projected through the robot arms. But then you don't want to get burnt. No, you don't. We banned salariums for a reason. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it.

But another industry, I would have thought mass up, the tactile industries where it's human on human. I didn't, they might be safe from AI. There'd be no conversation with it. There's no like, you know. That's one of things. When you get your sports ones, they want to chat about. I've seen the latest episode of... Yeah, yeah.

The Big Bang Theory, that's not something you're... No one has ever asked that to anyone, ever. Well, when they were dropping weeklies, maybe that was. See what Sheldon's up to you this week? I can't think of one... What's one show that's doing week-to-week drops? I mean... Yeah, see, what a world we're living in.

Something right now would be. Yeah, yeah, the... The summer I turned pretty did. Oh, there's what he's massaged there for. And see, everyone was in... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And me and the robot are going to chat about the summer I turn pretty. in absolute depth.

I wonder if that is one of the buttons. Chat. Minimal, medium. I don't think everyone's chatting to you. I think it's just rubbing you, you know? I think it is just rubbing you. Perhaps need someone to talk about the summer I turned pretty weird. It's just the kind of place that'll be owned by Shy Guy.

Still run it. Minimal human contact. Yeah, nothing. It's a dark day when you leave something behind that you love and care for so close like I did. Because you've got a question, how much could you have loved or cared for it? That's true. Not to make you feel worse, Ducky. That's true.

But you look at me in the eye going, I loved and cared for this thing. I had attachment. Well, did you? Yeah. Oh, jeez, maybe you're right. Maybe I had. No, I had so much attachment that I got caught up in it. You guys and I went to the movies.

Oh, you took it for granted that it was attached to you. What are the four pillars of the duck man? Shy guy? Hit me. Come on. What does he stand for? Yep, going, bang. Yep.

Yep. Just give me. Just come on. Come on. Come on. Yeah. I don't know anymore. a Yeti water bottle is up there

with one of my pillars. You know that. Hydration, my brother. Hydration. Yeah, yeah. Eating right. It's all in the same realm. He really umbrellaed it. He made you two pillars.

Yeah, yeah. You eat out your pillars. You know what? I'll take my two pillars. Fitness and Yeti water bottles. You guys know I love my good Yetty. I'm a huge Yetty guy. Was it a gift this Yetty?

My sister got me for Christmas and I insulted her. I was like, why did you get me a water bowl for Christmas? I hate you. You tied ass and then you looked up how much they are. And then I realized it was a great present. They're very expensive and they're awesome. My indestructible Yeti lasted a couple years and then, you know, it... You found it if anyone's going to find a way to destruct the indestructible.

I've got to stop throwing it off things. Just look at this. It doesn't break. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Anyway. I could catch it. I've been complaining about not having one because it broke a couple of weeks ago that my wife

went to the shops and she surprised me and came home with a Yeti water bottle. And I'll tell you what, four years of marriage, coming out with the Yeti water bottle, that's about, that got me going. For joint accounts, it's hard to surprise each other. She went, I'm going to find some time. He's hopefully not going to check the bank statement. He won't. Just going to come home with this thing and it's going to make his day.

And it did. And I was telling you guys about it. I was showing you the dimensions. I was excited. You were teaching me how to drink from it. I was teaching just how to drink, which I still can't get over to this very day. Anyway, you know, I went to the movies on the weekend. Hey, you saw the new Leo.

I saw the new Leo movie. I was so wrapped up with Leo, my other pillar that I love. And then I left my Yeti water bottle in the cinema. And so you know what I did? I tried to call event cinemas, and they don't have a number that you can call the specific cinema. It'd be a 1-800 number, right? To make a complain to all. Exactly.

Something very broad. Couldn't get through. And I only realized the next day that I'd lost it. I got home and I didn't realize until I would try and find my water bowl the next morning. I thought it must be in the dishwasher. I could go for a drink. What? And then I realized. You're drinking under that dispenser of your fridge going, you know, I'd make this easy?

I'm my water bottle. Where is this thing? And then I realized that I'm going to go back and get it. But if you find a Yeti, a good Yeti in a cinema, and you work there, you're taking that thing home. You're washing that and you're taking a home. Yeah, that's a question. Are you using a bottle you found? I would.

I would just wash it a couple times. It's funny. You know, I'm a grot? Yeah. I don't think I'm using a bottle I've found. There might still be home. I haven't gone in to check it yet. We're going today.

So you never was able to speak to someone. No. You can call the centaur or anything? I reckon it'd be in a lost and found, bro. Who's going to take a drink bottle? Here's the other thing, though. Does it have the straw element or the mouth? It's got the mouth, yeah.

The thing you don't know how to drink out of it. Yeah, that's the one. Here's the other thing, though, if I get it back, do you want it now? Like, I'm now going to have to really deep clean that. I'm surprised you actually, again, I know hydration is one of your pillars. I'm surprised you took a water bottle into the cinema. Yeah, I always do. Okay.

Because I like to say hydraise. Because you're thirsty. That's one of the pillars of me. And you're not going to pay $12 for movie water. It's a great time to drink water. It's dark. It's two hour movies. You are so caught up. I'll not have a frozen Coke.

My guts will not handle that. I'll lose that battle. Now you're forced to because you don't have your water bottle. Yeah, that's true. You know what I did get in there, though? Side note. Got a brownie in there because I was in gold class. Obviously, I'm not an animal.

No. And it was the worst thing to get. It was so hard to eat. So not only have you not enjoyed your brownie. Ridiciously hard. You've left. Don't you cover your eyes babes like I'm talking dribble? This is a serious chat.

No, you should just heard yourself. I was in gold class and then I ordered a brownie. Well, Morgan's like, you want a Maltese's, but she didn't. So he made us get a brownie. And it was a trash brownie. It was trash. Ducker, you're so caught up in how good Leo's performance was. It was a great movie.

And riled up from the dryness of your brownie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've left your water. I left my Yeti behind. They're huge. Like, where it was on the floor? It was just on the seat. How did you do this?

I don't know. But also, I blame my wife for not double-checking my surroundings when I left. Absolutely. She knows. It's Morgan's fault. I agree. You're like a toddler. Exactly.

What's he taken off? She was too busy worried about my handbag. She was worried because Flo was at home with her. mom, and she kept checking updates through the movie. I was like, stop ruining the movie with updates of our child. Let's watch this movie. We're here. You know, I was ruined this movie. My dry brownie am I lost water bottle?

Am I in a prison? Anyway. What year is this? Kylie. On 13, you get me, Kylie. You feel it, right? Yep. Thanks, Kylie. She can relate. Firstly, let's get Kylie's pillars.

Kylie, what I'm talking about. Kylie, what did you leave behind? My children. Ah, I knew we'd get one. That's up there with you. You got Yeti and children. I didn't know we'd get one straight away. Kylie, give us the circumstances.

What had distracted you? Was it a crap brownie? No. No, no excuse. I just forgot I had a child in the car and we got a service station in Sydney and left her. In the car? No. At the service station.

What do you mean? So you've both got out of the car. Yeah, she got out the car to go. at the service station and I just got in the car and put her friends to go on and pay for petrol. Oh no, no, no.

So what happened? Like, how did she get in touch with you or how did you realize? She didn't. I realized a couple of minutes later. Oh, if you, bugle, bugle, I forgot my child, so I had to come back around

because that's not the worst. I've left another child at home asleep while I went shopping. You went shopping. All right, night, bye, I'm out of there. Where did you realize? You realized when you were at the shops that you left them at home asleep?

No, when I've got to be mothers and she asked where he was. An hour or so later, I went to me with you. An hour later on. Well, I went, yeah, stop shopping. Kylie, how do you make it up? Like, did the kids hold this against you for the rest of their lives? Oh, I don't live it down to this day. Fair enough.

I thought my Yetty was going to be angry at me, but imagine leaving the kids behind. Well, she reconnected with the kids because I were just at her house. So true. At least you got yours back. You are still, you get it. You get it. It can be from water bottles. The kids, 13, 1060.

That's a spectrum we're working with you. What did you leave behind? I'd love to hear like... What are your pillars? And what did you leave behind? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. No man left behind.

Well, don't say no man left behind because you left the man behind that you're allegedly really, really connected to. My new gift from my wife, my brand new Yeti Waterball, those things are like $70. They're not cheap. They're a very good product. They're great. That you have attached to your hip because hydration is one of the Duckman's Pillars.

How are you feeling, what, 48 hours on? Oh, it's horrible. What are you drinking out of? Another little thin, um... Ew, what's that? Oh, promo bottle. Yeah, yeah, and it's not as good and it leaks a bit. Oh.

I get dribble down my shirt every time. God. Anyway, I left it behind in the movie cinema and now I've got to go back to get it, couldn't call them and it's just one of those really frustrating, annoying things to leave. Absolutely. Laura's called through. She's got your back.

Laura, good morning. Hello, how are you? Yeah, good, babe. Can you connect with Ducko? He's left the Yeti water bottle behind, but you were the Yeti water bottle in this scenario. So pretty much I won the Ticket Tech Wall and I got Luke Combs tickets.

I got a really great seating ones. And I went down there with my family and the show ended everything all good and well. I said, I've got to go to the loo. I went to the toilet. I come back out. my aunties are missing. For an hour and a half, they're not answering their phones.

I finally get through to them, and they're in some random nightclub in Parramatta. They were like, let's keep this party going. We want to hit a club. We've lost our child. Let's go. Mind you, I'm the 21-year-old, and they're in their mid-40s. Laura, were they just like, she's taking too long to pee? We're leaving without her.

Did they genuinely forget you had been there from the beginning? The cherry on top is that they took The car keys The hotel keys And everything with them So I'm stranded In the middle of Sydney By myself

Oh my god I love that the aunties are texting During Luke Holmes going Hey when can we digital? Yeah Alright she's gonna I'm gonna keep feeding her dreams So she has to pee at some point

When she goes to the toilet Let's pull a runner The cherry on top is I had to go to Parramatta to get the car keys. You had to go to them. And then I had to Uber it all the way back to get the car.

You already sound like a good time. Yeah, they really do. They really love you. My mum just sent me a text saying to the time. Oh, good morning, Kate. She left my younger sister, Laura, behind. So she took Laura to my older sister's swimming lesson. Yes, all right.

To pick up my older sister and leaves with older sister, but leaves the younger sister Laura behind. I know I had one daughter with me and I've still got one daughter with. She went to the shopping centre, came home, went to our house. How old were you at this point? She's obviously little. Little, yeah.

An hour and a half later, she gets home. Apparently, I was like, where's Laura? You had to flag. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's another one. Oh, geez. Where's she at? How does she ever live that down?

I know. Does Laura remember that, do you know? I mean, Laura's sort of that, like, youngest forgotten kind of child. It's sort of, it fits. After child. I'm lucky. Jess and Duckow. My husband comes home the other night, Ducko, after having.

been at an event he was running at one of the venues that he operates. And he goes, oh, your name came up a few times tonight. And I'm like, tell me something I don't know. Like, no worries. He often will have people say, oh, your, you're Angus, you're Jess's husband. Oh, no, be honest, your ducco. It's one or two. Your ducco, aren't he?

He's one for one. He's confused as ducco, or he's recognized, obviously, from my social media. People put two and two together and want to have a chat. But I said, oh, yeah, meet a couple of rice cookers, did you? You know, make sure you're always nice. He went, oh, well, these two incidents were a little bit different. So one person comes up to him and says, hey, you know, you and I have more in common than you know. And he went, oh, yeah, what's that?

He went, ah, well, we've both married Italian women. Oh, yeah, Jess's family is Italian heritage. And this bloke goes, yeah, that's my wife. She's from the south of Italy. You can tell by her big, googly eyes. And Angus goes, if you say so, or Jess's family is a bit further north, a bit more central of Italy.

The north don't have googly eyes. That's just the south thing. A bit more central. And this bloke goes, ah, yeah, that'd explain her squinchy eyes. Squinchy. He used the word squinchy. Squinch.

It's funny because I have described my own eyes as squinchy. Oh, when you struggle and you smile, looks like your eyes are closed. Thank you. I often get told. I'll open your eyes. I went, if you'll zoom in, you'll note my eyes are open in that picture. I'm going as wide as I can.

In all our promo shots, they edit my eyes to look more open. I'm like, they are open. Yeah, yeah. I know if my eyes are closed, but I went, all right, well. Squinchy eyes up north. Squinchy eyes. Squinty eyes. Yeah, and that's what he wanted to talk to Angus about my squinchy eyes

and what region the family was from. That's interesting. I wonder if that is actually a thing. I also wanted to dig down. I was like big googly eye. I don't know if that's a compliment to his own miso. Probably not. Look at my goldfish wife over there.

Hey, honey, show him your eyes. She turns over. Her eyes are massive. What a freak. Anyway, I love her. Never accused of having her eyes closed in photos. But then the MC for the event did come over and wanted to talk about the mic and the sound system

and wanted to make sure it was all gravy. This was a lady. And she said to Angus, oh, you know, I tend to be quite loud. And before Angus could get a word in, she goes, but I don't need to tell you about loud women, do I? I'm not even there. He would have gone, no, you do not. And I said to Angus, I went, what did you say back to that?

He went, well, I just took her over to the PA system and changed the subject back to the tech. I went, good boy. He knows how to play that. Well, that's what he said, he told me. Yes and Ducko. Let's duck over to Germany. Wonderful to be here. Always fun to take the team with Germany.

I love seeing Shy Guy and some Leiterhosen. Oh, well, he rides that bike around. Just working through a pork knuckle. Oh, yeah. No one punishes a pork knuckle like Shagull. That's right. Can you actually imagine him trying to eat a pork knuckle? He wouldn't know how to do it.

He'd be looking at it with his fork and knife going, what's the meat part and what's the knuckle part? It's fine. It's fine. And you're not a big eater, shy guy. I'm a slow eater. You don't put away much food. Yeah, we just and I had lunch the two times.

They really had to keep up. Oh, let's not get into that. His techniques He doesn't have to use a knife and fork It was handheld food It was a schnitzel wrap and chips I ate the schnitzel wrap first So I'd eat in basically three quarters of the chips

By the time he got to the chips I go after I go during I go both back and forth Yeah You gotta have both And I went I'm not slowing down for you And he went I know I'm slow

And you're funny eyes You would have been talking way more than he was And eating So what were you doing in that whole time You weren't eating He masticates really long and slow. Master cakes.

Yeah, it's a fancy word for you. You know that. But yes. So the pork knuckle, we're going to be here for days. We've had like events with our rice cooks and stuff. If I've sat near shy guy or next to him watching me, it is a slow experience. It's a slow experience. And then he just leaves a lot of food on that plate.

And the issue is, unlike my mum, who is a very slow eater, but she's savoring and enjoying and immersing herself. He doesn't even do that. So I just don't know what's taking him so long. You can be the guy who'd eat the same meal every day. Yeah, not mine. Yeah, yeah. Pork knuckle.

No. I can't imagine you're enjoying a pork knuckle or a bratwood. I've seen them on plates, but I don't feel like I want to eat that. Oh, you're more of a bratwurst guy. I don't know what that is. You've got to have a big, thick sausage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a pretzel.

You got to have something German, man. Yeah, you got to have something German. Oh, I'll do a pretzel. I'll have a beer. You can have a pretzel and a beer. The reason we're in Germany team in the family realm, how's this? A research group at the Max Plan Institute of Demographic Research, also known as the MP-I-D-R. Sounds like a hell of a play.

Headed by our friend, Diego. Beres Guttenes, a publisher. Not the most German name I've ever heard. Diego's obviously there on a gap year. He's doing exchange. They sent Hans to Brazil and Diego's come to Germany. And Deagle's got all the... Hans is so annoyed Diego's got this.

Because he's... Diego's given a paper. Oh, he's taking all the credit. Exactly. Yes. It's a paper, projections of human kinship for all countries in the future. So basically, they've got the world population prospects from 2022, and they've given us an overview of what families will look

like in terms of family size for the future. We know the birth rates falling everywhere. Birth rates are falling due to fertility stuff, but also people are having kids a lot later and having less kids. Bro, did you see Carrie and Tommy talk to a 93-year-old who's trying to have a kid with his young wife? Really? Ninety-three.

Talk about the age of having kids getting home. If he has any swimmers, that still work, so help me God. I didn't catch if she was pregnant or they're trying. Wow. He'll be dead before a child comes. That's what Carrie basically said. He's like, no, I won't be. Okay.

They'll go on this one. Okay. Whatever you say, Grabs. Sure, John. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, family networks are getting small. So I think back when our parents were having kids, four and three, a lot of families with four and three,

now I know a lot of my friends are two or one. Yes. Or Babs' generation, none. Yeah, possibly. Talking about the climate crisis, worried about the economic crisis. Like, people are going, you know what? Married to chat GPT. Can't have a baby with chat GPT.

Like, as much as it's trying to overtake humanity. Many of your friends want, kids babbs, have you had that discussion? Yeah, most of them do, but just not this early, like, wait a bit. Yeah, early 20. It's like, I think my sister had her first child at 24. Can you imagine?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's, like, some people have it at 21, 20, like... It is, and some people want to be young parents or, you know, the universe has a plan for you. I would not be emotionally equipped to have a child in my early 20s. I'm disgustle for like a kid now, and I'm 34. So, for example, a 65-year-old woman, let's say,

living in 1965, could be expected to have 41 living relatives. A 65... That's a busy Christmas. That's a busy Christmas. A 65-year-old woman living in 2095 is expected to have 23 relatives. Wow. So they're just going to shrink.

It's really hard. Easy to cater for Christmas. A lot easier. Less Christmas presents. But cost of living, you know, inflation. Fair enough. Yes. The state of the world. You're going to have fewer siblings and fewer cousins, but you're more likely to meet

your great grandparents because people are living for longer. Okay. So you're going to meet your older grandparents and get to know them better because you'll be older and remember them. See, I love that. But you're just going to have less and less cousins and brothers and sisters to hang out with. There you go. You've got to make sure those friendships are tight because we're not actually having

siblings or cousins. If you're a child at age, if you have a child at age 40, you won't become a grandparent until you're 80. Wow. Yeah. Whereas sometimes I get introduced to people and I go, oh, you know, mother-daughter, like, no, I'm the grandma. Because obviously the different time, different birth

and age when you were having kids. Yeah. It's an interesting one. So there you go. Christmas is going to look different in the future. Christmas is going to look a lot different. You have 30 seconds. You have 30 seconds. You cannot use the same answer twice.

If you're unsure of the questions, say pass. Of course, we come back if there's time. Now, we are playing for $10,000. The stakes could not be higher. Capp. Good morning, how are you? Kath, we're fantastic, but I mean, we can relax here. We don't have $10,000 hanging over our heads.

That's you, babe. How are you feeling this morning? A little bit stressed. Yeah. Hey, that's good, you know? That means you care. Yes. Absolutely.

What's motivating you, Kath? What do you want to spend the money on? Christmas shopping for the grandkids. Oh, I love that. How many do you need to shop for? Seven. Oh, damn. We're just doing an article about how families are getting small.

Not Katz family. Not in Kath's family. Seven grandkids. Be honest, Kath. I'm sure none of them are listening. Do you have a favourite? Do they get a little bit of a bread of Prezzi from you? No, no, no.

Don't have favourite. Don't lie to us, Kath. Quick maths. What's $10,000 divided by seven? That doesn't feel, you know, it's going to be a nice round number for Cass. Someone's going to get a better prezie. Yeah, someone will. Get yourself something nice as well, Kath.

That's good. Great idea, guys. All righty. Well, Kath, did you get a quick maths? I don't know how to do that. What do you mean? Sorry, 10,000 divided by seven. You don't know how to do that on a calculator?

No, I can, but not on Google. It wouldn't work when I tried it. I didn't have my way on me. Hang on, standby. I'll do it. 1,428. That's a hell of a Christmas present. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you, Ducco. Thank you. Cass, the letter you're going to work with today. She's relatively solid. It's N. N for noodles. Okay. All right?

Locking it in? Yes. Go, Kath. Your time will start after the first question, doing it for the grandkids. Starting with the letter N, we need you to name a country. Norway. A periodic element. Path.

An adjective. Path. A horror film. Path. An Australian athlete. Oh, my gosh. Path. A fruit?

Oh, my God. Nectarine A technology brand Oh my gosh Pass A phone app Netflix Oh

That was so bad That was in You know Just on the buzz There to get yourself Of free No All that's so bad

You need to do it I'm going to black out my $1,000428 each of the green kids Hey out of the gate's wrong With country But then we fell apart Periodic element

Could have been nitrogen adjective could have been nice or nasty. A horror film could have been Nightmare on Elm Street or Nosfratu and Ozzy Athlete. One of the classics. One of the greats. Nosferatu, yeah, yeah. The real horror buffs love Nosferatu.

Okay. Thank you for the education. That was so bad, guys. Yeah, it wasn't great. No, no, no. We had a 1 at 630 cast. Yeah, true. He's actually way better.

It's too better. Could have had Nathan Cleoer and Nick Curios, tech brand, Nokia. Oh, phone app you got. Look, Kathy, you don't get the money. Get ready to do. Do you do some more maths, shy go? You do get 100 all suspended crox.

What's 100 divided by seven? Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, you like a crook? Yes, yes. Good. We'll give you a Jess and Ducko jiz bit as well. Oh, my God, guys. For each of the great kids.

How are you going to, yeah. You guys are the best. Thank you. No, you're the best, Cass. That's $14 each roughly for your rank kids. Oh, thanks for that. That's about a toe for a crore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ocks aren't too exy, I don't think. No, it's 100. It's not getting your seven pairs. No, no, no, maybe one and a half. Well, pick the favourite, Kath. Pick the favourite. Thanks for playing, Kath. Thanks, guys.

Thank you, bye. Have a good one. When do we start saying Merry Christmas to people? Not yet. After Halloween. Surely after Halloween. She talked about Christmas presents. Yeah, well, she did.

It's on the mind of people, now. I don't know if we're going to talk to Kath again. I don't think so. Till Chrissy. We're on that down ramp to the year, aren't we? Yeah, it's feeling festive. We just spoke to Kath on Althabucks, but yesterday we met Michael on Alphabucks. That's right.

And he revealed what he revealed what he. he wanted to spend the money on and I'd like to do a little bit, a bit extra digging. A bit of digging. A bit of digging and see if anyone else in the rice cooker community has done something that Michael wanted to do. Jess and Duckow. 131060. The question we are asking, and I do appreciate, it's going to knock a lot of people out of contention, divorce parties.

Yeah. What do we know about them? Do you have any experience with them? Because yesterday at 6.30 a.m., we play alpha. bucks for $10,000. Stock standard question, what do you want to do with the money? When we met Michael, this is what he said. What is motivating you today, mate?

What do you want to spend $10,000 on? Well, I've got my divorce coming up, so I'm going to have a good holiday and go and party. Hell yeah. Divorce party. Divorce parties aren't common enough. So it gets settled soon. Yeah, first of December. Okay.

You know, I've heard of the 12 days of Christmas. I've not heard of the 12 days of Michael's divorce. Can I ask Michael, how long has this drawn out? We've been married 10 years on the 1st of December. They're doing on the anniversary. They're not friends. I asked him without friends anymore. He said absolutely not.

Because I appreciate your question was more the divorce proceeding. Like how has it been drawn out, whereas he basically inferred the whole marriage and in the drawl now. On our 10th anniversary, we got a divorce. We're signing it, signing on the dotted line. Yeah. But he said he wanted to spend the money on a divorce party. Yeah. The only other story I've ever heard of a divorce party was.

years ago at one of our luncheons, a woman saying she had just been to one where the bride made a whole thing, there was cake, there was balloons, there was a great feast. But the real kicker was she pulled out her wedding dress and all her girlfriends graffeed it, trashed it, and then they put it in a barrel and burnt it. It feels very witchy. It felt very coven. Yeah, yeah. And we're all, like cleansing the bad energy.

Yeah, yeah. But I've not heard of anyone talk about a divorce party since then. And when Michael said that's what he wanted to spend the money on, I went, hang on, have they caught a bit attraction? It wouldn't surprise me if they're more common now. Because we know the divorce rate in this country, I'm pretty sure it's very dire. It's like one in two, isn't it? Yeah, it's like 50% chance of...

50% chance that your marriage will disintegrate. So it makes sense. If you've done all this celebration, getting together engagements, obviously weddings, breaking budgets, it stands to reason, Well, hang on. Have a party to end it? Let's have a blowout to end it all. Have you ever had a divorce party with your partner there and you both went,

you're amicable, but you didn't want it to. You invite all your friends and you had a party for the divorce. It's the anti-wedding. Yeah. Oh my God. That feels so new age. It does, doesn't it? Very modern.

Very modern. Yeah. So we wanted to do 13, 10, 60. Have you done one? Yeah. What did it look like? Or were you an attendee, mate? Did you go to a divorce party?

Did you get the Canva invite, you know, or the face, book event. Hi, Helen, come to my divorce party. After 18 years, Michelle's going to hit Bumble again. So before she hits the town as a single lady, let's rid her of the bad energy. Theme, where something that pops. Okay. Yes.

Do I bring a divorce party? Do I bring my husband? Where a big F you? Yeah, oh, yeah. Do you bring partners to divorce parties? Is it just same sex only? Do you bring a new partner? Oh, goodness me.

I know we just started dating. Do you want to come to Michelle's divorce party with me? 13, 1060. Have you done one? Have you been to one? Jess and Ducko Jess and Ducko 131060

We're talking divorce parties That's right We met Michael in Alfa Bucks yesterday And when we asked What do you want to spend 10 grand on? He said well

I'm about to finalise my divorce I want to have a party Yeah We'll have a good time And when Ducko asked a few extra questions I think we're realising The ex-wife will not be invited It's not a joint party

Of the dissolution of the marriage But they're doing it on their 10 year wedding anniversary Which is quite nice I do like that So you can say how long were you married 10 years on the night It's so he doesn't forget the date they got divorced.

It's the only day he can remember. That's good. Unfortunately, he only got one or two. Yeah, he did he get one right. So we can't fund. I would love to have funded his divorce party. I think of all the balloons and the branding. I could put a jiz bit in all the party bags.

What balloons does one get a divorce party? Great question. Well, let's ask Haley because her best friend, Haley, am I right? She's had a divorce party. She did. She did. It was a couple of months ago.

she was probably married for about, I think it was about eight years. And she rented out a penthouse in Sydney and it had like a pool as well. And she got pay or strippers. She had the firework that come out of the ground. Pardon? Like a reverse hens. Yes. Yeah, pretty much she said it.

I felt like I was on Wolf or Wall Street. She had the money guns doing it to the strippers. She got a cake that was black. It was the best thing I've ever done, I think, if I ever get divorced. Did you get swept up in it? Did you get swept up in it while you were there, Haley? I had to get all my money out and I was like flicking it to the stripper. I was like, ooh.

Haley, can I ask for a bachelorette party, you know, it stands to reason that everyone who attends puts in money. So for something like this, was she saying, hey, I'd like you to come to a divorce party, but you all need to fork out $400 each? Or was she taking care of everything? She took care of it. She got her money in from the divorce and she's like, here's my party. Come in. Here's my party.

Come in. Enjoy it. Here we go. Strippers for everyone. That's funny. Thank you. I guess you still have, I guess you still have penis straws? You would have to.

Yeah. We go to George now on 131060. Have you had a divorce party yourself, George? No, I actually, I went to a good friend of mine and celebrated the divorce. that was really, really good. And now we've ended up actually together and we've got a baby on the way. Hang on a minute, George.

So, okay, how did that? So you've been obviously friends with this person for a long time. They get divorced. They're having a big blowout. Did you just start making eyes at this party? Or was it like, well, now you're single. Yeah, it's just a gradual. Just ended up happening.

Very unexpected. but, yeah, having a baby, June next Monday. June next Monday. This is a successful divorce party. What a story. It's like, how did you guys connect? Well, at their divorce party. Yeah, yeah.

I realized she was back on the market. And here we go. Wow. Look it on you, George. There you go. Who knows what can happen at divorce parties? They sound loose. Laura, your friend had one.

Oh, yes, good morning. Good morning. So my friend Lee got divorced, and back. in August we did a huge divorce party for her, but we did it a little bit of a big style. We actually went out to Survivors or Us at Carter first and had to say yes to the ghastly dress, and we picked out Bridesmaid's dresses and a wedding dress for her to wear, and then we ended up doing a long lunch and then hitting King Street, bed by 10, and she got it all over while we celebrated.

It was absolutely amazing. Yeah, so ghastly, ghastly, bridesmaid's dresses, she looked beautiful in her wedding dress, that absolutely got trashed on the night anyway because we were having such a great time but, you know, it was amazing. It is good to wear the wedding dress again on the night because you only get to wear that thing once. You may as well wear it for the closing ceremony too.

That can often be one of the top five expenses. Yeah. So to think, I'll get it out and now cut it up and ruin it. Yeah. What a neat little bow again. Could you imagine? How are really 18-year-olds at King Street, Laura, when you were there? Oh, they were absolutely viving it.

They loved it. So a big shout out for the worry, half-fizzy girls. We take a party anywhere. I'm trying a divorce party, we know who to call, Laura and the gals. Oh, this is good. Ash, good morning. Hi, hey. Yeah, what's going on in your life at the moment regarding divorce parties?

I'm actually just planning my own. Here we go. Okay, so is your divorce finalised or that's to come? It's that's to come. That's to come, but you're planning the party. You're going to sign on the dotted line and you're heading out that night? Yes. What's the plan?

So I'm going to be wearing my wedding dress And I've had all my friends Line up paper guns and everything And they're all going to colour the dress And then it's going to be burned on a bonfire Wow, it's going to Coveny again Now is it just, is it just girls going Or are their partners invited?

Is this just like a hens vibe? No, it's just everyone and anyone that wants to join in. Okay. What I'm hearing is Jess and Ducson Ducco can come and shoot paintball that Ash should be a wedding dress. I'll dance by a fire of your wedding dress. That's amazing. And Ash, did you have this idea

just because you went, I need to sort of find some positivity and fun. Or what will be, of course, a very sad and emotional day? Or have you been to one before and you went, I want one of those? No, I've never been one. I just kind of had the idea. Our relationship ended on our 16th anniversary. So, yeah, it was just kind of one more hurrah.

One more? Like a sweet 16th? Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I feel like I know the answer, but I've got to ask it. Your partner not attending this? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't have answered possible.

Yeah, absolutely not. Thank you, Ash. Have a wonderful party. We got one more here. We got Beth on 13, 1060. Divorce parties, Beth. What do we got? Hi, you guys.

Oh, my God. I had the best divorce party. What did it look like? Let's give Ash some ideas for the one she's planning. Yes, well, I would definitely recommend having a naked waiter. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like strippers are high up on the list.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Having a bonfire, getting rid of those photos that maybe your ex-spouse is in, but keep the ones that you look good in, because that's very important. Yeah, we'll do some crafting and scrapbooking, cutting me out. Yeah, okay. Okay, Beth, fantastic. Beth sounds like she's a divorce party organizer.

Yes. She's a party planner. I'm here for it. Yeah. There would be a business in that. Thank you so much. Because it's just like a hens. It sounds just like a bucks or a hens to me.

It just reversed. To be honest, I go, I was waiting for Michael. ex-wife to call. I thought Ash, I was like, are you the ex-part? You know, she should have a party too. Why not? Everyone has a party. That's amazing.

It gives you a bit of hope. If it does fall belly up, there's a party in it for you. Jess and Jucko. Happy six-month birthday. Oh, yes. Are we celebrating halves? Yes, we are. When you're a miracle baby,

where's the candles, where's the cupcakes? Yeah, we've got everything sorted. Big day in our house life for the six-month-old. We've got one balloon still. the studio from your 34th birthday celebration, yes, mid-September. Premium helium. That's a month. This thing's been up there.

Do you want to take that home for Flo today? Say it's from the Jess and Ducko team. It's a little, actually. It's a little, actually. It's massive. She sits in here, and no one asks questions when they come in. It's a massive penis balloon with biceps. Yeah, yeah.

But yes, it is Flo. She's six months now. But she's been doing this for a couple of weeks. We noticed it. Whenever she wants attention, because obviously they're at that age where she's sitting now, She's rolling. She's doing this thing where she, like, sort of thrusts. I think she's trying to learn how to crawl.

Like, she's sort of like thrust. So she's sitting up and just sort of gyrating. She's doing that. She's like, I mean, I love this age, okay, because they're realizing, I'm in control of my body. Yeah, she's starting to learn. And what can I do with it? Yeah, we gave her fruit yesterday. I can thrust and gyrate and wiggle.

Yep. She loved orange. Gave her fruit. Yeah, yeah, good. She enjoyed the orange a lot. Very good. What a flavor sensation for a girl who's only had breast or formula. I know.

And a lamb chop, she enjoyed that. But something she seems to be doing now, because you're going to give them full, obviously, attention, and they always need to be entertained. And they, you know, the highs are high and the lows are low, as you know. One thing she does, if we leave her, like, in a bouncer or something looking at us and we're doing something in the kitchen or preparing something, she just starts coughing.

And then you look at her, then she smiles. Hang on. So she's obviously not choking on the orange. No, no, no. She's not showing... She's not ill. It's in it. And we've looked it up.

Some babies do it. It's their way to get your attention because they learn that coughing gets a reaction. And again, in control of my body, now, what can I do with it? It's like a new trick. She can't call out a dad. Yeah, yeah. She's got, that is the equivalent of getting your eyes on it. See, the coughing or blowing bubbles when she just drools all over herself.

And so she'll just... Not as vocal, the... Not as vocal. So she'll just give us the... I think I'm getting the black lung, Bob. It's not very well ventilated down there. She's a murmur, man. She's a merman.

I just love the idea. It's so cute. I didn't know attention seeking was hereditary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By she, the apple doesn't fall far. You know everyone says that now. You must be so proud. Everyone's like, oh, she's definitely your daughter then, Ducco, isn't she?

Try to get attention from coughing. But when I see the reactions she gets from doing it, I'm like, I'm going to try that. You guys, you're learning something from her. Yeah, go in public. Everyone looks at you like, hi, how you going? Yeah, Ramay, if it was 20, 21. 2020, 2020, 2021, the coughing got you all the attention. Oh, yeah, we didn't like the coughing there.

Whereas nowadays, you just want maybe get a bit of side eye. And she really coughs loud too. Like, she puts her back into it just to get your attention. Because it's that positive reinforcement. She's getting the exact desire that it met. She wants mummy and daddy's eyes on her. Well, now I've got it. I'm going to cough until you look at me.

I'll wait until she starts quoting the rest of that. I've got the black lung. That'll be her first words. I've got the black lung park. You've got a show with a blue shirt. She's going to be dramatic. Like, she's definitely like, we put it. I put her in the mirror.

She was licking herself in the mirror the other day. I was like, oh, yeah. I mean, I guess I would too. I'm so cute. Jess and Ducco. Welcome to Tuesday morning, team. One of the headlines of Friday's live in the past, Ducco. Perfect segue.

Yep. To looking to this weekend, NG Stadium, Wiz Khalifa, Little John, Tiny Temper, Jordan Sparks. Eve, Pipple and Mariah Carey are taking over. Yeah. I wonder when they're all coming down under. Like, when do they start tricklelling? And we all see each other pre-show, like a little dinner night before.

Oh, do they do the chant or the prayer? Oh, yeah. I'm sure Mariah is leading them in a prayer. Totally. Having said that, she's on it at about 10. Jordan's on about 3. So when are they doing the prayer? I don't know.

I have to be sort of a lunchtime prayer, I guess. It might be lunchtime prayer. Yeah, pre-Jordan Spark show. And then Mariah goes, I'll see it 10. I'm going to have a nap. You guys warm up the crowd for me. Yeah, yeah. But we do have tickets every day.

Oh, your last tickets in town, really. Exactly. The place is sold out. And today, thank you for all the contributions. They were spectacular. Yep. We're going to give them to Haley, who got in touch and told us about her best friend throwing a divorce party. That was so good.

Haley was going, I'm happily married, but maybe I want a divorce party. There's penthouses, strippers, there was a cake. She went it was a hell of a thing. And the bride, well, the ex-wife, I should say, funded the whole thing herself. So the girls could just enjoy. The girls could just have fun, you know. Unlike a hens where friendships fall apart because, oh, what do you mean?

It's $900 to celebrate with you for a weekend. Divorce party. Free. The chick got her payout and went, I'll take the girls away. And there was one where a couple met. We had a little mate call in. Oh my God, George went to his mates' divorce party,

and they went, I've actually been in love with you forever. Yeah, you're divorced now, free game? Let's go. Having a baby next Monday. Don't you tend to use George. You know, that's what he said. That was his pickup line. And he got it on a shirt.

Now the baby is next Sunday. How's that? And they're going to call the baby. No, they're going to name the baby after the first hubby. Oh, that's nice. What a neat little package. I love that. A perfect bow.

Perfect bow. Anyway, it's been a great show. If you've missed any of it, grab it on a listener or wherever you get your podcasts. Absolutely. If you'd like to find out our plan, or if Ducko was to drop dead. That's funny. Listen to that early. We do discuss that early in the show.

You'll hear that. We had a full team breakdown of all that. And I think it really, you know, it highlighted everyone, you know. The dynamics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The relationship particularly. Some cared more than others. Some care. Some will be more affected.

Yeah, yeah. Some, yeah. One person in particular, not that affected. Doesn't care too much. We'll give you ten bucks if you can guess who. Anyway, that's in the podcast. Check that out. It was a bit of fun.

You have a good show today, Shiger? I did. Yeah, had some fun. You were messaging the boss a little bit, little taxi pals. Yes. We learnt about Shiger. I can't multitask. No, we know that for a while.

You can't listen and email. No, I can't do that. You do it a lot too, but you can't do it. Also learned loves French onion dip, hates French onion soup. Rogue. He's an enigma-is-guer-guer-guer-g. Yeah, yeah. No, don't buy that for me for Christmas, please.

It's on your. I'm worried to make a toothpaste from last week. Man, I still get sour straps from what I said it six years ago. Hey, hey, I asked your wife. She flagged it. I'll put you the sour strapped Oreos instead. And they're still seeing in my cupboard. I still need to buy the creaming soda, even though you tell me not.

That's on my list. You're still into burger rings or not? Because that's on my list for you as well. I like a burger ring. Is I burgering you're happy with? Oh, yeah. Yep. You can amend the list.

I'd like this. What's on Baz's list? Armand croissants. Uh, skin care. And what was the other thing on my list for that? Oh, and sunflowers. How many people do you have with present lists in your phone? Because it's not just us three.

No, no. It's obviously my husband, anything he mentions. My parents, my brother, my sister-in-law. Oh, she can go. You can get rid of your sister-in-law, you know that. And my two best mates, Melanage. Okay, so it's more of a tight-knit group that I thought. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I thought there might be a few more people. I used to have someone who no longer works with us, so I deleted hits. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Really narrowed it down. I wonder who that was. I wonder what. Oh, no, it's actually something.

The only thing on his list was Calvin Klein Undies, and I got rid of pets. Expensive, Pears? No, I never had a list here. Yeah, that's me. Anyway. Yeah, that's my list. That's your list. I like it.

But you're right. I should update them because I lock it in for you. For me, it's like, I want you to know. I know that I listened six years ago. But you're right, your flavors and tastes have changed, so the list now become redundant. Yeah, it does. That's what happens.

It needs to be a living, breathing organism. My brother sends me a new list for himself every six months. I went, bro. Yeah, yeah, that's enough. You can't change your list from birthday to Christmas. I've locked you in. That's how quickly we change. Is he still playing golf your brother?

Yes. Is he playing much? Yeah. Or is he... He's playing a little beer. Yeah, yeah. Well, now he's going. But he's starting his own business now, construction, so he's very busy.

Oh, geez. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want fancy golf balls, which I did not. realize we're a thing. Golf balls are expensive, but, I mean, you should never get them. $80 for golf balls. You never get them too fancy because you are going to lose them. That is what is going to happen.

But you need a good one, so it does do good things. Okay, see, that's the thing. Every ball's different. He wants fancy ones, but I know he's at the start of his golfing journey. What's he after, distance, speed, loft? What does he want? He wants to be... Well, you know what they say.

And what does that mean, Jess? I don't know. He's a short game special. He likes to chip, get some back speed on those things. You've got his number, ducker. Okay, interesting. So maybe for his Christmas presents. I'll come to you.

Yeah, I get the split Z divide balls. And then for your Christmas present, I'll go to him. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, well, we're out of bed. What is, hang on. What is, how many balls is $80 by? Three. The hell is that?

Uh, well, yeah. Does that feel good or bad? Have I been ripped off? That's very expensive. Three balls for $80? That's the link he sent me. What ball? Can I know the brand of ball? I'll send you the link.

I want to, was it a, um, pro v1, perhaps. I don't want to start this again. I could hear the mouse quickly. Oh, because if my button... No, yeah, I'll tell you off there. Do you want that for Christmas? Do you want a new, whatever? I mean, I know we had to pad.

Yes, get a whole new body. Oh, no, we can't. They don't make a desk anymore. So, no shower was three days. No, sour strapped for daco, but ProVee golf pools. Yeah, yeah. ProV1. No, I'm not a big fan of ProV1.

They're good, but they're not for me. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm a Strixin guy. You know what I've got a sponsorship. Oh, Strixen. Yeah, so I don't need to pay for yours. Yeah, no.

Anyway, I'll send you my list. You're not going to believe how long it is. Please do it. All right. We're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. I never have the courage to say harder.

Jess and daco. That was the Jess and ducco podcast. The new MacCrispia has arrived at Maccas. Try it today.