Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | There is something there that isn't normally there...

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

Jess realised she's been doing a trend that Gen Z's been onto forever and Ducko had to rope in his wife to help with an ingrown hair on his ass!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG! T's and C's apply. Jess and Ducko! This is the Jess and Ducko podcast. Welcome to the podcast. This is a very exciting day. We've come back from a long weekend to presents. Yeah, so who's got us presents? So someone DM'd the Jess and Ducko page and said, guys, I've made you something. Oh, okay. And I am always willing to accept.

Made gifts. Made gifts. Any gifts. They've come beautifully wrapped, so we actually have no idea what they are. We haven't opened them. No, no. Babs has walked in, and it looks like there's four, so is it one for each of us? It looks like it, yeah.

Does it have their names on them? Yeah, there's a really nice card, actually. Oh, wow. It's very long. Do you want to read it? Do you want me to read the whole thing? We'll paraphrase it if you need to. Okay. It says, Dear Jess, Ducko, Shagai, and Babs, I want to say a? Do you want me to read the whole thing? We'll paraphrase it if you need to. It says,

You should have said, I'm sending you these blank. Oh, don't run the surprise. No, that's fine. I love a spoiler. Good reading voice, though. Oh, that's nice of them. That is very nice. Hang on.

Have they made these? Yes. So I think her name's Yarny. Okay. Yeah. I think that's what that says. Laurel. Yeah.

Like, how do I make that joke? Because she read it out. Isn't it Yanny? Yanny. Laurel. No. Or is it Yanny? I don't know. I don't read it out Isn't it Yanny Yanny Laura No Or is it Yanny I don't know I don't remember that trend

Is it Yanny Is the dress blue Or is it gold It's a whole other thing That's nice of her though Yes Okay less reading More presents

Okay Sure I don't think They're for I think it's all just They're not labelled No Are they the same

They're the same They must be the same. Okay. Well, it depends. That says Yarny. I believe so. Thank you, Yarny. Great paper.

Beautiful paper. This is very good. Very nice. And how beautiful they were. A little bow. Everyone, open them nicely. We could reuse this paper. Well, she did make a comment about the paper for you, Jess.

Well, of course. I love citrus. It's got lemons on it. I love citrus. It's like Morgan said before. Morgan's like, oh, Jess said we can come over and pick any clothes we want for our unborn daughter. I was like, well, all our clothes will look like fucking fruits.

Or Gorman. I have a lot of Gorman. Actually, I would like to film that, Ducko. I want you to come over and we do a time lapse of you going through the three tons of clothes. And I reckon you'll leave with three things because they won't be your vibe. They'll be your vibe. But at least that might be three more things you didn't have.

That's true. But anyway, these are gorgeous. Yarny Lenhan, or Leanhan Artists. Yes. You can check her out on Instagram. Well, these are beautiful. Do you all get pink ones? Oh, my God.

You're a calendar person, aren't you? We just got our calendar for this year. I'm not a physical calendar person, but I think I've just become one. She's also said that the end of each month you can tear along the... The dates. Perforation. Is that the word? Yeah.

It smells. Oh. That's it. And sorry, and keep it. And keep it and use it as a print. Oh, well, we'll absolutely be keeping one in the studio. If you don't need yours for home, Ducco. I like July the most.

Oh. Well, this is gorgeous. What a very kind gift. What a nice studio. If you don't need yours for home, Ducko. Oh, well, this is gorgeous. What a very kind gift. What a nice gift. Thank you. It cuts off before the... Yep. Wow. Perforation.

Nice of her. Thank you, Yarny. Well, that's fantastic. You can always send gifts into the studio for us. Absolutely. Anytime you want. If your love language is gift giving, who are we to say, no, don't do that? Who are we to deny it?

Just don't send us food. We're not allowed. No, don't send us food. It probably would spoil it. We've been send us food. We're not allowed. No, don't send us food. It probably would spoil. We've been sent food before. There was an incident one year. We've been sent food. I've been sent food.

We got sent last year. We got sent some stuff. What was the incident? Did you get poisoned? No, no, not here. There was another station. Yeah. Oh, okay.

What was it? Can't talk about it. Was it flesh? Can't talk about it. God, there's been a lot of redacted. Old mates, old secret over there. Can't talk about something from two day, I think a lot of redacted. Old mates, old sea crew over there. Can't talk about something from two day a thing with its fucking three listeners. It wasn't.

It was B105. Oh. Can't talk about why the Tim Tams are staying in the fridge. Can't talk about. Yeah, I know. Should I go get some poison? It's not my fault. No, I'm just saying.

There's been a lot of like, can't talk about it today. A lot of hush hush. Yeah, a lot of hush hush. For a couple of people who are very open, we don't work well with hush hush. That's why they want us to be hush. Woolies are going to cancel us now. Imagine if one of us got assassinated because Woolies had it happen. The fact we do dips, you know what I mean?

Like, we need the connection to the grocery store. If that pipeline gets cut off. God, for me, we go to Coles. Aldi's one would be so hard. Could you imagine trying to guess Aldi's bojo brands? That's what we should do next. Shy Guy Dips Aldi Edition. I like the, you know, like, I think Have You Been Paying Attention plays it,

and it's like the weird-ass chocolate from Aldi. Is it the weird-ass chocolate or is it like a tennis player? Oh, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, they've got all the European names. Yeah, yeah. And they're a bit, you know. That's a bit of fun. Yeah, that's a bit of fun.

Or like IKEA furniture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because no one actually knows what the word is. That could be fun. That could be fun. That could be fun. We could do that. When are we playing our new games? Is it Monday was meant to be a new game?

It was Monday. Monday was meant to be a new game. We've got... Which one was that game? That's Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Which I can't wait to play. That'll be fun.

And then tomorrow we have dips. And then Thursday we have... Wordyoke. Oh, and when do we play... Say the same, say the same. Say the same. Could be on Wednesday. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Around dips. Oh, and when do we play Say the Same? Say the Same. Could be on Wednesday. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Around dips. Well, a different hour. As in either side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either side of dips. Yeah, we could play Say the Same tomorrow. Yeah, I think so.

Why not? I had another game that I wanted to test with you today, Ducco. A board game. I don't know if you call it a board game. There's a device you need. Okay. I forgot the freaking device. So, stand by.

This time tomorrow. And this is a test for radio? Maybe. I liked how we were beta testing the games in the pod. Hang on. When's Old Love's fucking blog? Thursday. Great fucking question. Old Love. Thursday. And she's already got her topic.

Because when did we beta test that? That feels like two freaking weeks ago. I thought we were going to do it on Monday for some reason. Because that story that you teased us about. Oh, we're keeping drinks. I know. Well, I wasn't even going to talk about that story. I know.

It's gone too far. I want to hear about you pooing in the woods. Oh, yeah. Will that be in the blog? I didn't poo in the woods. Oh, you didn't poo? No. Did you put a cork up there?

No. You poured it back. Someone had to eat all the cheese you brought. One of the great lines. Everyone just got wasted. What did you want to do? Eat my cheese? Did you get wasted with everyone?

Like, I had a few drinks, but I didn't get like... What do you do when you get wasted in a caravan park? Like, where does everyone then go? What's the next level? They were just like standing around like yelling and... Yeah. Singing and listening to Hoss 100. Yeah.

Okay. That's pretty much what it was. It's giving orgy by the bonfire. It does sound a bit... Don't you reckon? It sounds a bit like, ooh, it's Kevin's mind. Because what else? What are you doing in here, Sean?

There were some stunts. Like, people would get trying to do, like, three-man shoulder things. It was very intense. Someone fell and hit their head on a table. There was a lot going on. Yeah. And how are all the girls to you? Because I know you had, you know.

You had reservations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did not. Because you're anti-Targo. It's fine. You don't have to like everyone. I mean. I do you know. You had reservations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did not. Because you're anti-Targo. It's fine. You don't have to like everyone. I mean. I do like them.

Yeah, yeah. But how'd they go? You don't love them. Yeah, good. No, to be fair, they're not, it's like my partner's friend group. So it's always a little bit, you know. Yeah, it's different. It's removed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. No, it was everyone was so lovely. You're like, why make an effort? I don't know. That's not what. Were they nicer to you? Were they nicer to you?

They're always nice to me. Okay. You know what I'm getting the sense? That they're all friends. Yes. Do you know what I mean? They've all been friends for a long time. And I'm kind of new to the group.

You've come out from our rural way and you've rolled in. Sure. Did I play guitar? Is that what you just said? Just sit there with my band? No. Did you bring, please tell me, you brought your bass guitar and you went, this will win them over?

No. Bam, bam, bam. Kumbaya on the bass is a whole other level. No, I just brought my cheese. Wasn't Babs sassing us so hard in the text? Oh, yeah. Fuck me. That was some funny text, James.

I could feel the burn through the- That was some funny text. You were accusing me of shitting in the woods. Okay. And then you were telling me that I do stinky shit Because I'm from mainland Hang on, hang on, hang on In the elevator

You were trying to convince me on Friday That your poo don't stink I'm not an old man I don't shit Oh yeah, then you said Wait, didn't you say like I feel like I can't laugh at that or something? Yeah, yeah

Or was that something else? I don't know what I said That was a good conversation That was some funny chat. Some funny chat. Everyone's going to need to keep an eye on Babs. Babs is poo. I will go into the bathroom next time. You're going to have to get there.

I'm going to follow her in every time. Because it's going to come a day. Because I won't be able to. Play battle shits. I would love, I would love to. Look who we're talking about. Yeah, come on. St. Mary over here.

No, I just get anxious when I need to poo. Do you know one time I did a big one and I was like, Billy, is that you? And the person was like, nope. And I went, ah, shit. There's only so many people it could have been. No, but it was just like after 8.30, so it could have been a few more people.

Could have been a few more people in the office. Oh, trust me, I wouldn't have made that mistake. If I did, that's where I was going. Well, I'm glad it went well for you. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad it all went well. Yeah. Enjoy the show.

As she fondles the dildo that we have permanently in the studio. We do. It's like a soft. It's quite comfy. It's almost like a stress toy, isn't it? Squish ball penis. It is a bit. Yeah.

What's your name? We haven't given her a name. Oh, my God, we haven't. Billy. It can't be Shy Guy. He's way too small. Stop squeezing the balls. Is that how you treat boys?

You've got to be gentle with them. Yeah, what should we call it? Should we call it Jethro? guys. It's way too small. Stop squeezing the balls. Is that how you treat boys? You've got to be gentle with them. Yeah, what should we call it? Should we call it Jethro? No. That's mean. Why is that mean? It's a boy's name and it's a very good name. Could be Jethro.

Could be Jethro. Could we call it like Roger or something? Roger the Todger. Oh, yeah. I mean, Jolly Roger. Jolly Roger the Todger. Yeah, okay. We'll call it Roger.

Yeah, Roger. We'll give you that, Babs. Good one. Good pivot. Good, niceger. Yeah, okay. You can call it Roger. Yeah, Roger. We'll give you that, Babs. Good one. Good pivot. Good, nice work. Enjoy the show. Welcome to Hey Tuesday, Short Week. Let's go, baby.

Hey, kitty up. Short Week. Yes. I am very glad to see you. Thank you. In one piece. Me too. I'm glad to be here in one piece. Me too. I'm glad to be here in one piece.

The last Bucks party. We'll get into if you are fully intact, but your last Bucks party blew you out so bad. Yes. You couldn't work for a little while. Yeah, lost the voice. Yes. Voice is fine, this Bucks party, but I still did end up in some form of medical emergency room. Not emergency, but a medical room.

When I saw your Instagram story yesterday, I went, oh, no. What's he done? And I thought it could be shelter. It could be voice. Yeah. It could be balls. Who knows? After a Bucks party.

I know. It was an unlikely. And I was actually injured when I was, like, the most sober trying to help people. I was trying to play Father Hen. Oh, yeah. Because you were the organizer. You're the best man. You're kind of running the show. And if no one takes point on those things, as you know, yeah, absolutely. Because you were the app, you were the organizer, you're the best man. You're kind of running the show.

And if no one takes point on those things, as you know, someone has to. Absolutely. And this was 22 guys. I was the only one who was in control. That's a lot of guys. It was pretty funny by the end of it, though, because I'd got enough food for dinner for one night, breakfast for one day, then went to a pub for lunch. And then the last night was like, good luck, there's some chips.

You're all old enough. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it. By the end of it, they were coming to me on the second night at the end of it. They were like, Ducko, there's some chips. You're all old enough. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it. By the end of it, they were coming to me on the second night at the end of it. They were like, Docco, there's no toilet paper. Docco, do we have any food? I was like, we're at our limits. We're at our capacity.

There's no toilet paper. I didn't think about that. Hey, 20 guys. Isn't it funny? Because when you're at an accommodation, that's the accommodation. They had heaps. They had heaps. But 20 bugs. Wow, yeah. You're really heaps. They had heaps. But 20 bucks.

Wow, yeah. You're really ripping in. Going through toilet paper. Absolutely you are. But got through it all. Survived. Here I am. Here you are.

And I know Tuesdays aren't your favourite day. And we are working on that for 2025. We are. We're trying. But technically it's Monday. Yeah. So we feel excited. We feel good.

And fresh. It's a short week, you know. Absolutely. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. It was a short week, you know. Absolutely. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. It was a very long weekend in our house. Our one-year-old was ill. Yep.

I gave her something dodgy to eat and didn't we suffer the consequences? Didn't we have different weekends? Didn't we have different? It literally got to, it must have been Sunday evening and I went, I want to go back to work. Like I just, it was a lot. Food poisoning vibe. It was definitely food poisoning vibe.

The issue is we ate the same thing all weekend, Lutea and I, so I'm not sure what. She's in her phase of, like, eating dirt and stuff, so maybe she picked up a bug in the garden. Happens. Oh, she picked up a dead cockroach and didn't go to put it in her mouth, but she was looking at it and I smacked it out of her hand. Could be that.

So who knows what she's eaten when I wasn't watching her for one second. I'm not an expert, but licking cockroaches, it'll get you. It's going to get you. It'll catch up eventually. You're going to do 12 gigantic-ish, yeah, if you eat a cockroach, absolutely. We don't advise it. So you got through a few nappies then. Oh my God, so many.

Her poor butt. Her poor little butt. It'd be so raw. So raw. Yeah. Baby powder? Do you know what's funny? We don't own baby powder.

That's what they used it for back in the day, right? I think so. Yeah, chafey. You know? Oh, my God. Maybe I needed to. I didn't want to loop my mum in because, you know, she lives interstate. I thought if I tell her the baby's sick, she's just going to panic.

Yeah. Maybe I should have. She could have given me some wisdom of yesteryear. Oh, yeah. Like baby powder. I don't know. I presume. Yeah. Hey, come to meanny. Yeah. Maybe I should have. She could have given me some wisdom of yesteryear. Oh, yeah. Like baby powder. I don't know. I presume.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, come to me for all tips. Absolutely. Look at you. I've got you. I've got you. Your dad and at your box and your dad and with the children.

Yeah. Real children. Real children. I would say 20 grown men being a dad was just as hard. Just as hard. I couldn't agree more. It was just as tough. Let's check in after the birth of the child.

Remember that weekend, which was harder. Yeah. Shigo, how are you? Speaking of butts, how's your butt? Yeah, how are you going? My butt's fine. Great. You having a good weekend?

Spotlight was good? Spotlight was great. Did you ever find something for your bathroom decor? No, still in the market. Still in the market. Still looking. Yeah. Came out and spotlight weren't good enough.

Still in the market. We'll find something eventually. Okay. Very good. I'll know when I know. And Babs, how was your camping in the woods? Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah.

Did you, the toilet situation was okay? Because I know that's what you were worried about on Friday. You were nervous. I mean, they had toilets, but they weren't very nice. Right. Nah, it's a campsite, I guess. It's a bit yucky. Yeah.

You've had to watch what you eat all weekend then. Yeah. You didn't roll in there with a Guzman burrito. No, I didn't. Okay. Okay. Okay, good. Well, good to have you here, team. Absolutely. You didn't roll in there with a Guzman burrito. No, I didn't. Okay. Okay. Okay, good.

Well, good to have you here, team. Absolutely. Hey, nice short week. The team is back, baby. And it's a big week because Call of Fame, or is it a co-fod? It's a co-fod. It's a bloody co-fod. We've got four of these things to give away. We're giving you a HP laptop from Harvey Norman Computers for the best quality of the day.

One more time? A HP laptop from Harvey Norman. You mean I get involved at some point in the show? Yep. Maybe tell you a little tale. Yep. You might give me a laptop at 9am. Bang.

There's the kids back to school present. Oh, done. Yeah. Or even just that could be a home laptop. Absolutely. We're not going to judge what you do with that laptop. Do whatever you want with a laptop. Absolutely.

That's coming. We've got 10k alpha bucks, 6.30 and 8, of course. Today's game, Year of the Song. Oh, of course. Yeah. That's happening. Let's rip in. Oh, of course. Yeah, that's happening. Let's rip in. I'll tell you about my box, but up next, we need to go overseas to Canada.

There's a man who got a body part stuck in the freezing cold. Oh, you can't be licking the inside of your freezer. You know what I mean? Or licking a pole, like Dumb and Dumber. Yeah, don't do it. This is worse. Worse? Yeah.

Okay. The downstairs nether regions. Oh, what's he whipping that out for when it's freezing? That can't be good for anyone. After a pub fight, too. It's very unlucky. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

And we're ducking over to Canada. Home of the back. Home of the back. Home of the Biebs. Home of the syrup. Yes. Maple syrup. And the Blue Jays.

Go Blue Jays. The one baseball game in my life. We're here in Canada, though, for not a good reason. There's a man in a bar. Obviously, it's winter in Canada right now. Very cold. Yes, that gets like minus 40. Yes.

Territory. Frozen territory. Yes. This man basically was in a bar argument, which then spilled out onto the street. And somehow he was so intoxicated, I'm not sure what the belt situation was, but his pants have fallen down. Okay. Why don't you have that information?

You bring me a story without belt information. I need to know why the belt wasn't working. If you only look this story up on one site, we should have done a much deeper dive. Can you please get an update on the man's belt, or what happened to the belt? Why it wasn't working? It could have been an elasticated pant. Maybe, because he was in this fight, and the pants fell down. Can you please get an update on the man's belt or what happened to the belt? Why wasn't it working? It could have been an elasticated pant.

Maybe. Because he was in this fight and the pants fell down. Okay. I presume he's not wearing undies as well because everything's come down. Okay. He's fallen to the sidewalk, maybe in a fall, maybe in a bit of a pass out. Yes. And his member.

The pork thorn. Has gotten stuck to the sidewalk. Oh my God. Because it's that cold. It's that cold. So like when we were kids, we would lick the inside to the sidewalk. Oh, my God. Because it's that cold. It's that cold. So like when we were kids, we would lick the inside of the freezer. Yes. And if you just were a bit too slow, science, that'll get you.

Science will get you. You would freeze to the side of the door. That has happened to his Johnson. Yeah. Do you remember last week we met Scotty, a very passionate rice cooker, who was talking about the worst pain he'd ever felt was the gas barbecue blowing up and burning his Johnson. Yeah, that's right. I would think freezing.

This left burns too. Yes. And so apparently then the fight had to stop and everyone was like, the man was screaming and he's like, I can't get up. I love the idea, the code of ethics between drunk bar fighters. Drunk gentlemen. Okay. Hang on.

Now a line has been crossed. I hated you, but now my friend, I feel sorry for you. You were looking at my woman the wrong way, but now we're all in this together. And apparently the police had to come and scrape it off. The word scrape is used. You know, like in the American movies where the kids would come around to plow people's front yards so they could get from front door to garage or whatever. I'm picturing they'd come with that big shovel.

Yeah, yes, a bit of hot boiling water and a scrape, which either way, none of that's good. Like the scary man in Home Alone, you know, where he comes with that shovel. Oh, yeah, the neighbour. The neighbour. The neighbour. Like that.

Who turns out to be a great guy, actually. He does turn out. But if he was coming shoveling a Johnson off the sidewalk, yeah, I would be a bit nervous too. It feels like there is a way to defrost the situation, pun intended, without using a scraper. Like, could you not get a handheld air dryer? Heat, maybe.

Some sort of heat. Even just a swift. It sounds like this guy didn't deserve much, though. I think they're just like, can someone just get Derek's Johnson off the sidewalk? Who's got the shovel in their trunk? Question, pretty hard question for you to answer. Sure, because I don't have a Johnson.

Yeah, but if this was you and you were Derek, who would you want there to scrape it off? Oh, what a question. You know what I mean? Like, if anyone could scrape you off, who would you? If I could have one phone call. Yeah, one phone call. Oh. And you can't say a husband, because that would ruin the situation.

No, I was going to say, it feels like a parent's job. You know, because they. Like, Dad, it's happened again. Yeah, they would have been there through all the times. Yeah, they've seen everything. They've the times. Yeah, they've seen everything. They've seen everything. Yeah, I think a parent. They're to thank for creating it. Or Shy Guy. Or Shy Guy.

Yeah, that's what he's kind of... That's what the producer role entails. Absolutely. He's out there frantically still trying to find your belt information. Yeah, yeah. Any updates on the belt, by the way, guys? There's no update. They didn't say. TMZ courted a circumcision of sorts.

That's all I can say. That is going to be... That's a rough time. That's a rough time. I thought my weekend was rough after the Bucs, but that's a bad Monday. That's a bad Monday. Jess and Ducko. Ducko, this story tickled me pink. It was in the Sydney Morning Herald, all right?

It's a story out of Newcastle, so already my eyes went, oh, what's this about? It's about a couple of cats saving lives. Puss? So Alfie is the cat who walked in through his cat flap with his broken leg, with a leg broken and a bone sticking out. Alfie's family are like, what the hell's happened to you? Elfie's human family or cat family?

He's going to a human family. He's gone to the human family. You're absolutely right. Elfie is a cat, but he walked into his human family. Limped in. Limped in. You're absolutely right. He must have, look what the cat dragged in.

Elfie's broken body and his broken leg. Did he come in through the back door flap? Great question. Like you didn't have belt information, I don't have architecture of Alfie's family's house. I was trying to give you a back door pun as you wanted. Oh, damn it. And here I am getting way too bogged down in architecture. I'll let you run with it.

You can tell I'm doing a reno on the house. I'm really focused on structure. So he's dragged himself in. The leg is broken. They rush him to the hospital, obviously. Very sadly, the vet goes, I can't save the leg. We're going to need to amputate. Now, I didn't realise this.

I thought I was across local news. We have a cat blood shortage here in the region. Do we? He needed a blood transfusion because he'd lost so much blood. And the vet people are saying he's not going to survive this amputation. And where do you get cat blood donors? Well, this is the thing. Apparently, you could go to Sydney, but they were saying, I don't know if he's going to

make the drive. Oh, you can't make the drive down. Because I don't believe there are cat ambulances where you can rush them down where they're hooked to a blood bag. You know what I mean? It would literally have to be you drive him. Is this a space we haven't explored financially? Cat transfusions. Maybe. Cat blood banks. Who is the blood bank? Who are the blood people?

Red Cross. What is the cat equivalent? I'm not sure. And can you cross-pollinate animals? I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know either. Quickly, shy guy. That would be sad though if it was your home cat or home animal. Because wouldn't you? I know we'll cross to dog territory, but if Pam needed a blood transfusion, I know you and Morgan both would be like, take it from me. Take my nectar.

Are we a match? Do they have a blood type? Again, questions I don't. Each species has its own blood group system, which involves different types. So you probably can't. Can't muddle a dog with a cat. Pam couldn't have donated. My turtle can't have, you know, my cats.

You can't put turtle blood in your cat. That's annoying. Or your chicken blood in your dog. You can't do it. If I had a turtle, I'm sure they would have volunteered, but couldn't do it. It's like our humans have different types. Well, absolutely.

It's the same thing. It's the same. Did you know a chicken has 28 blood types? Really? They can't be good. Horses have eight. Cats have four. Dogs have about nine. Humans? They can't be good. Horses have eight. Cats have four. Dogs have about nine.

Humans only have like six or seven. Yeah. Chickens are much more diverse. Chickens are diverse. Well, I'm glad we got to this territory because, yeah, a human, a turtle, the pet dog couldn't have saved the situation. Right. Another cat could have, though.

Not enough details on this, but another cat called Safi happens to be staying with the family. I'm getting the cousins have gone on holiday. Can you look after Safi? Now, it doesn't go into was a text message sent? Do they try and WhatsApp them while they're at Tomorrowland in Belgium? We don't know. But Safi the cat gets put under the knife to have a blood transfusion direct to Alfie saves Alfie's

life. Because a blood transfusion for a cat, they're only so little. I know, right? But cat to cat blood transfusion, Safi was a match. Safi's been able- Had the right blood type. Had the right blood type. Safi's been able to save her cousin.

We've had no comment from Safi's parents because in that moment, like, okay. Would you just do it? Would you just take the cat? Hit me with a, let me hit you with a hypothetical. Okay. You're babysitting my dog Gianni for the weekend. Angus and I are having a romantic, sexy weekend. No recepo.

Okay. Pam gets into strife. Yeah. The only person who could probably save the situation is Gianni. Yeah. Do you just take him in, go use this dog? I probably would. You probably would.

Because he's so large, he's got enough going on. But I think I probably would. All jokes aside, I mean, I would send you a text. You would send You probably would. Because he's so large, he's got enough going on. But I think I probably would. All jokes aside, I mean, I would send you a text. You would send me a text, but if you didn't answer. Quick one. I'll cover it on. Do you have pet insurance? If not, it's fine.

I'll get it. I'll cover it. But I need to save Pam's life. This is exactly what's happened. The cat has saved the other cat's life. And according to the owners, Alfie's owners, they're saying the cat who saved the life, Safi, she's walking around like she knows she's a hero. She's proud.

She's a little hero. She's a miracle match. Wow. It's an unbelievable story. Then how's the poor cat going to go with three legs? There's nothing sadder than seeing a three-legged animal. I know. Apparently cats, very adaptable.

I'm sure it could work. And Alfie's already embraced his new life. He's embraced it. Yeah. So if Alfie's family's listening, oh Safi the hero, shout out to you. One for educating us. That cat transfusion. That is, I mean, it makes sense.

I just never thought about it. Never would have thought of it. And then we're in a cat blood shortage. But now I guess it's a question, if you're ever getting someone to look after your pet, maybe just have a conversation. Get the dog pod type. Do we get it on their collars? You know how human beings have certain things in their wallets? Yeah, it's like a medical alert bracelet. Medical alert bracelet. I love that. On just have a conversation. Get the dog pod type. Do we get it on their collars? You know how human beings have certain things in their wallets?

Yes, like a medical alert bracelet. Medical alert bracelet. I love that. On their dog collars. Yep. A negative. Okay, great. I just know just in case.

Just in case. You'll be able to step up and save the day. That is wild. There you go. Should we play Alpha Bucks? I think we should for $10,000. Maybe you'd like to spoil the pet in your life. Yes.

We're not going to judge what you spend the money on. It would be that expensive. I'd imagine the surgery to get a blood transfusion for animals. Oh, absolutely. Not cheap. Oh, a GoFundMe has been launched to help the family. Yeah, yeah. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting with the same letter Have to take your first answer Can't use the same answer twice And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass We'll come back to you, of course, if there is time They are the rules of engagement We're playing for 10k

Today's player is Tegan Hello, Tegan Hello, how are you? Tegan, we're fantastic For a Tuesday of a short week, of course. What do you want to do with $10,000? I've got, I guess, lots of bills and then if anything's left over, a holiday for the kids and the partner.

We love that. Would you like to go overseas or keep it domestic? Keep it domestic. We like camping and travelling local. All right. Can you change that response to you would like to go overseas? Because your letter's O and it works better. Okay.

Great. We're going O, O-town. We haven't had O in a while. I've not seen O in ages. How do you feel, Tegan? Ready? Yes. Sure.

Come on. She's firing after a big weekend. No time like the present. Yes. Your time will start after the first question. Here we go. Starting with the letter O, we need you to name a cooking ingredient. Oranges.

A tree. Oak. A tree. Oak. A fast food chain. Pass. A zoo animal. Orangutan. A brand. Pass.

A shape. Oval. A movie. Over the hedge. A musical instrument. Orchestra. Orchestra. Orchestra. Oh, I can't accept orchestra at the end there.

It's not an instrument, it's a group. And the movie Over the Hedge. Haven't heard of it. Bro, it's a cartoon. It's fantastic. It's a cartoon kids movie. Of course, you've heard of it then, Jess. Over the Hedge, it's like the little critters in the woods.

Okay. Trying to get into their house for some snacks. I've got to go over the hedge. Sounds good. Well, then you got yourself five. You got half, Tegan. A fast food chain could have been a Porto. A brand could have been Oakley.

And then, yeah, you've got the movie. A musical instrument could have been the oboe or the organ. I like the oboe. It's like a big old clarinet. You went over the edge. That's all right. How's your own knowledge today? Hey, you don't go away empty-handed, though.

Tegan, I'm going to suspend it. Urban Jungle Beauty, that's all yours. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you, Tegan. Have a wonderful day. You too. Thanks.

Jess and Jaco. 13, 10, 60. You stepped on what? You stepped on what? You stepped on what? What'd you step on? Obviously, I had the Bucks weekend just gone. I was best man. I'd planned this thing.

We're at a big Airbnb in Kingscliff. It looked extraordinary. It was fantastic. It was on my account. I'd organized it all. I was best man. I just took lead on everything, okay? Is there a bridal party?

Yep. There was five other grooms who had no idea what was going on. They just used us as everyone else there. I was like dad to 20 boys. Yes. It was, you know, we're all in our 30s. Yep. And it's still, they don't lose their role of just being idiots.

It's just like herding cats. Oh, my God. I've been involved with one box party in my time. You get it. You get it. I actually do get it. I was the only lady there, but I was best man. Facilitating the food cooking, cleaning things up as you go. But like having the food.

Having the food. And making sure people are eating. I know. And like not just drinking. And then like I had enough food for dinner one night, breakfast the next day, then lunch. And I said there was nothing for that last night. And then people asking for more food, but running out of toilet paper. Like it's just.

Oh, my God. And are you, as you said, the account is under last night. And people asking for more food, but running out of toilet paper. Oh, my God. And as you said, the account is under your name. It's under my name, yeah, yeah. We all know how Airbnb works. It's like Uber, you get a rating. You're the only one who's going to cop that rating. Oh, yeah. And no one cares. No one else cares.

Everyone's just spilling things, breaking chairs, doing whatever they want. Luckily, Airbnb Review is fine. Had a great clean up, but I'll still be cleaning as we go. Now, you know on the last day, I planned a DJ. I planned a DJ to rock up, and I had a waitress, right? So I had a DJ and a waitress. Say no more. But they were going to

rock up and be there before the God, because I'd taken all the boys to a lunch. Oh, you wanted to surprise them. And they come home to afternoon DJ, sunset by the pool, waitress, had a few games planned. One day you keep being asked to be best man. Everyone's like, I'm actually closer with Jeremy, but Ducco puts on a way better show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I sat up to this one. I was like, I'm done. I'm doing no more. We might run out of toilet paper, but God, he puts a bit of effort in. The DJ was driving from Queensland, forgot about daylight savings, was an hour late. So it was just a topless waitress with a bunch of boys and no DJ. You know how you cup the base of your phone to try and amplify the noise? You're just walking around with sandstorm trying to echo it around.

I was like, where are you? He's like, oh, daylight savings. I was like, well, the waitress didn't forget about that. And guess what? Women, man, women. Guess what the waitress did? What? She rocked up with her dog.

Oh, wait, okay, sorry. I don't know why she did that. And guess what? Women, man. Women. Guess what the waitress did? What? She rocked up with her dog. Oh, wait. Okay, sorry. I don't know why she did that. She rocked up with a- What sort of dog? Like a Frenchie. Not in like a handbag or something? No, no.

It was like a bigger one. Okay, sure. Are they Frenchies? What's the dog in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood that Brad Pitt has? It was that dog. It's like a pug. Yeah, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Had issues breathing. Big, thick, strong boy. How is it appropriate to have brought that? It's essentially to your workplace. She said to me. I understand it's a box. She's like, I'm so sorry. I brought King with me.

And I was like, look, Dan. I was like, oh, we have a dog in the house. Okay, that adds another dimension to this. And I was like, why did you bring your dog to work? And she's like, oh, well, because I couldn't. I didn't have time to go home. And I just figured you wouldn't mind. Has she come from job to job?

Oh, massive. I don't know. She took King to her other job. Yeah, and so anyway, then all the boys are playing with King, then the DJ rocks up and we're dancing with King, then one of the boys lifts the dog up and tries to lie on King, King and scratches himself with the dog

scratched him. Sure. King doesn't want to be over six foot. King doesn't want to be touched. And King was struggling to breathe as it was. So he is then cut. And I was like, I didn't want blood on the furniture. Absolutely. And I was like, do we have any Band-Aids or anything? I'm looking around for first aid.

And my mate goes, in my ute, there's a Band-Aid first aid kit. Our tradies always have a first aid kit. Exactly. Go to his ute. We're standing there. I literally stepped maybe two meters away from his ute. And I've stepped clean on a nail, like in a piece of wood. Oh, no.

Straight through my heel. You shouldn't have even been there. I shouldn't have been there. It wasn't even for me. I was helping because the waitress's dog had scratched someone, and I'm the one who's going to get it. And I'm like, how has this happened? I love that you went with your friend.

He could have just gone himself. He could have gone, but I was like, I'll go with you and, you know, get it done yourself. And then all of a sudden now my foot is just bleeding. You know how you're worried about blood on the furniture? We've got a bigger issue now. Yeah, yeah. And we looked down at this nail.

Rusty as all hell. Because you're in the middle of nowhere. I have not had tetanus shot in over a decade. This nail is rusty. Are we going to the hospital? What time is it now? 9 p.m. Are we going to the hospital for a tetanus shot at 9 p.m.?

No, like, it hurt. But it wasn't like going to hospital. It was like, I just, we put a bandaid on it and wiped it. And he's like, man, I've got nothing to wipe with. So, you know, I did my, you know, I always have nose saline spray. I was just spraying that on the cut. I was spraying my nose thing on the cut. Dual purpose.

Dual purpose. I was trying my hardest. Got back at my mates like, do you bring the bandaid? I was like, stuff you, man. Stuff you and your little itty bitty scratch from the dog. So then yesterday Morgan's calling me. I have a hole in my foot. Morgan's calling me like, you need a tetanus shot.

I thought, okay, we've got 48 hours to get a tetanus shot. She's like, you can't go on Monday because we've got a baby scan this morning at 11 or something and you've got work. She's like, you need a tetanus shot before you get back here. I was like trying to find a hospital yesterday with dad to give me a tetanus shot. Lucky daddy was around. Oh, daddy was around. He took me into the waiting room.

When you posted on your Instagram story, my husband came to me and went, what's happened to Chris, your dad? And I was like, no, no. Taco's found himself into some strife. So begs the question on 131060, what'd you step on? What'd you step on? Because now I'm limp and I've got a mean limp and I've got a hole in my heel. Oh, I know.

We just tried to go make a coffee and you've never moved slower. I know. Like, you're usually a pretty speedy young man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I also got my whooping cough while I was there. Oh, hello, two birds, one stone. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

What'd you step on? You stepped on what? Had a Bucks party on the weekend. I organised it. Played Fava. You're a party dad. Someone brought a dog that wasn't meant to bring a dog to the house. Quickly, you didn't step on the dog? I didn't step on the dog. The dog scratched my friend who was trying to hold it up like Simba. And then I had to get a band-aid out of the car for my friend.

I went to my friend's car to get a band-aid and I stepped on a rusty nail and it went through my heel. I had to get my tetanus shot. I ended up in the medical centre thing yesterday to get a tetanus shot. Also double of my whooping cough shot as well. I mean, that's a bonus. Why not? That is a bonus. Yeah.

But it begs the question, what did you step on? It was a rusty nail too. What are the circumstances? And you shouldn't have even been there, but because you were being party dad and supervising the drunk guy who had the first aid kit in the car, you thought, I'll walk with you. And like one bit of, on plank of wood with one rusty nail poking up in the entire property and I step on it in the dark.

I know. Just, now I'm limping. Now you're limping. We go to Ben. Morning, Benny. Good morning, guys. How you doing? Yeah, we're so good, Ben.

You stepped on what? You wouldn't believe it. It was a brown snake. Oh, that's no good, Ben. Oh, no. How'd you miss a brown snake? Well, I was walking down the steps from home, and I'm behind the pot plant.

The tail was sticking out. So I've stepped on the tail, and it spun around and hit me on the side of the leg. Lucky I had the jeans on. And one of its teeth got caught in the side of my jeans. Lucky it didn't pierce my leg. So I was, like, hanging there, and I'm like, oh, my God, I didn't know what to do. So I yelled out to my son to go and get a pillow so I could rip the case off it, like the old good man Steve Irwin used to do, put it in a pillowcase, you know.

Oh, yeah, that's quick thinking. Wildlife warrior, yeah. Oh, yeah, it was crazy at the time. So then I was grabbing it behind its head like Steve used to do, you know, and then I was like, you free me the pillow because it wasn't coming near it. And then I was just grabbing it and throwing it straight into the pillowcase and just tied it up. So I was like.

That is quick thinking. How much of Steve's show did you watch that you went, yes, I know what to do in this moment. While a brown snake is latched to my jeans, in this moment I know exactly what to do. Go get a pillow, son. I would have just shook my leg and kicked it against something and just freaked out. You've already pissed the snake off because you've stepped on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're going to give him a ride as well. As soon as it stepped on me, its tail was all flicking around and stuff like that. I was like, oh, my son's coming out because the bedroom's right next to our front door. He's just rolling. I'm just like, God, it's Steve Irwin style. bedroom's right next to our front door. He's just rolling. I'm just like, God, it's Steve Irwin style.

I wrestled it to the ground. Good on you, Steve. Good on you, Steve slash Ben. Thank you so much. That is freaking wild. Chloe, good morning. Good morning, guys. How are we?

Good, Chloe. We're fantastic. You stepped on what? So about two years ago now, I was at the beach with my kids, and we were walking along the bar beach between the bars at Merriweather, and I kept telling her to wash out the blue bottles because they come out. I stood on a blue bottle. Oh, no.

Oh, no. One of the ones with the bodies where you pop them? Yeah. Well, I didn't feel it pop. I didn't have that reaction. So as I stepped on it, it scared me and I've fallen over, landed into the surf. And as I've landed, ironically, out of the 50,000 people

that were at the beach that day, I had a school of them. Oh, no. In the waves. Ended up from my neck to my ankle wrapped in about, I think they counted 15. Wrapped my ankle to my feet, like to my neck and had to get rushed to the hospital. Chloe, I've had

the misfortune of just having one brush against my foot and I thought I was going to die. They sting. It attacks the lymph nodes and the nervous system. You've had them all over your body. Yeah, so it's funny. I've never been stung by one before and and I went to the hospital,

and probably two days later when I'd recovered and the swelling had gone down, it ironically looked like my children kept telling me I looked like being whipped with a bike chain. Ah, yeah. So the marks it left from my neck and my ankles. Wild. How many people told you to wee on it when you got out of the water? Oh, the amount of people that were telling me that they were going to come, like three lifeguards come over and were like, we'll just wee on you.

And I was like, if you wee on me, I will die. Just a quick golden chair and you're fine. Isn't that amazing? It is. We definitely debunked that. Chloe, thank you for sharing. It doesn't break it down. This is great.

It's making me feel good for a Tuesday. Jamie, good morning to you. Good morning. How are you? Good. You stepped on. What? This is great. It's making me feel good for a Tuesday. Jamie, good morning to you. Good morning. How are you? Good. You stepped on. What?

Well, I stepped in my best friend's amniotic fluid. Okay. Jamie, Jamie. So the water's broken or was she halfway through? When does the fluid come out? The water's broke. Yep. She'd gone to dye her hair, come out.

My waters have broken, puddle all over the floor. And then panic mode set in, rushing around and I've slipped in it. Oh. Oh no. That is, that is comical. That is very funny. Oh my God. What are the chances of that? You're meant to, you need to be helping there.

And then the pregnant one's going, okay, I guess I'm now helping you. Jamie's slipping over. Your sister's for life in that moment. Oh, 100%. Five years later, we still have a good giggle about it. Like, oh, it could only happen to us. Wow. Was it slippery?

Like, what's the consistency of it? Or was it? On a scale of one to banana peel in Mario Party. Yeah, I'm picturing like a full slide. Yeah, where's the amniotic fluid rank? Probably Princess Peach with a banana peel, 100%. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What's that New York Ford rank? Probably Princess Peach with a banana peel. Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. Have you fought someone over something? Yeah, 13, 10, 60. We're going to fight over two men, grown men in Costco in the States, going to a fight over Pokemon cards, headlock, elbow in the face, got kicked out, didn't get the Pokemon card.

It was a whole thing. We can only assume their Costco memberships have now been revoked. Oh, you would lose that membership. And that's for sure. You can't be bringing Costco into disrepute like that. It's like those stores you go in where there's been shoplifters and the local IJ will put up the camera photo of all the people who've robbed.

Yes. They'll be up there. Not welcome here. Brianna has got in touch. 0488881069. Might be Brianna. I apologise. She said one of the mums on her kids' netball team has been banned from games

because she used to always fight with the ref. Oh, they're bad for it, aren't they? But she added the ref is also a kid. Like, she wouldn't be much older than the kids playing. You can't be fighting. You can't be fighting another kid that's the ref. In saying that, though, when they yell contact in that game, it just gets me. She goes stepping.

She always called the kids stepping. Well, if the kid's stepping, the kid's stepping. Kids' sport brings out the worst in people. I just gets me. She goes stepping. She always called the kid stepping. If the kid's stepping, the kid's stepping. Kid sport brings out the worst in people. I can see that. I can't wait to see you as a sideline dad when your kid starts playing sports. Yeah, I'll be up there. We go to Danny though. He's called through on 131060. Now, Danny,

you've got some Pokemon card facts about maybe why they were fighting. Yes, God, I'm a pathetic human being, but I know these things. Okay. All right, Danny, what's going on? So essentially, the adults are actually buying them for themselves.

They're not buying it for the kids. And what they're doing, they're going in, taking a whole tray. If you see people, they take a whole tray, and then they sell them online for maybe double or triple the price. Now, the thing is, is that the cards in that set aren't particularly valuable.

But if it's sealed, it's kind of like a stock. That's how people are viewing them. What do you mean? Like the card itself, but because it's in mint condition? Not necessarily the card. It's because you don't actually know what's in those boxes. You've got no idea. So, for example, I bought a box a few years ago for $200 called Evolving Skies.

Of course. And that's now worth $2,000. What? Why is it worth so much more? Well, because there's a few reasons. One, there is one particular card which everybody wants, and that is worth maybe over $10,000 if you can get it. Are we still talking about Pokemon?

Yes, we are. Which Pokemon is worth $10,000? Well, there's a link to another part. It's called Umbreon. Umbreon. It's an Eevee. It's an Eevee thing. You are speaking another language, Danny.

I was waiting for Mewtwo. You say it's in America. It's in Australia as well. There's a current set now, which is where there's an Umbion in one of those sets and that's currently worth three and a half thousand dollars so if you go to kmart you will not get any of these boxes because people go in they take them and they buy them and they sell them off for stupid prices and the thing is you don't even know what's in the box you've got no

idea to gamble like what's in my box i have no idea danny if you if you got the impression i don't know how you had the inside track that the last box that came out did have an ombryon in it, would you throw elbows? Would you punch on? Yeah, would you go, yeah. Look, I have a five-year-old daughter and a soon-to-be-born son. This is their inheritance. I will take on all incomers.

I will fight them to the death. I will do it Dexter style. You'll never find them again. Wow. He's doing it for the kids. But now that your daddy's saying it's worth so much, I kind of get it. But you don't even know what's in there. You don't know what's in there, though.

It's the luck of the draw. Yeah, that's the thing. And that's what's a bit of a scam. But I sold all my stuff to raise money for a house, and I sold everything for about $7,000. Shut up. I'm no expert, but you'll need a few more than $7,000 for that house, though, Danny. A few more ombryons. Just a little bit. I might have

to sell a few, kid, or even this unborn one on the black market. Danny! Oh, I love it. We're going to have to keep your number on file. Next time Pokemon News comes up, can I just ask Danny one very weird personal question? What's your favourite

Pokemon? Oh, God. Look, I'm 38 and I run a podcast. It's a bright shoe. I'm just a five-year-old child now. Leave me alone. Okay. Very simple premise. Shy Guy gives us some songs.

We're going to tell him the year they were released and we'd love you to play along on the text line 0488881069. Shy Guys told us the theme. Yes, snakes. Snake theme. It's Year of the Snake. 2025 marks the Year of the Snake on the Chinese zodiac calendar.

Yeah, you're a huge Chinese New Year's guy as well. We always know that. Famously, you celebrate it. And you're a huge snake guy. Yeah. It's really all come together for Shy Guys today. This is Snake Hips and Tanafe All My Friends. Oh, my goodness.

You could throw a blanket over a decade for this song. What has Snake Hips done since? And also, snakes don't have hips. No, they don't. They really don't. They don't have a torso. What's it called again, this song? All My Friends.

Of course. Jeez, man. We've played it a lot. Don't we play it a lot? I remember playing it, but I don't. The question is, when?

What year did it come out? What was the other artist in the song? Tinashe. Of course. Was she on a, was she in a band? Like a girl band?

Was she solo? I'll Google while you figure out what year that was. Might be thinking Camila Cabello. I'm in. I'm not super confident. I've got no idea. I've gone 2014. Jess, 2016. I'm in. I'm not super confident. I've got no idea. I've gone 2014.

Duckers in 2014. Jess, 2016. With the correct answer, 2016. Oh, she's hit the nail on the head to start the game. That was just to throw you off, Duckers. Massive Tinashe fan over here. You love Tinashe and Snake Hips. Sun Tews.

Obviously, music video. The film clip. Was there a snake in this, was there? Yeah, she has the giant yellow python. What was this one called again? I'm a slave. I'm a slave, Brittany. And I think it's for you, number four, letter U.

Geez, I'm not big on Brittany knowledge. I don't know. This might be Toxic Era. Oh, yeah. Maybe. Is that the one they filmed on the plane? Correct. Okay.

I think she may have had the snake come out during a concert when she was touring. It was during the Music Video Awards, the MTV VMAs. Yes, the snake came out. Oh, yeah, it was alive. How long ago was that, though? Give me a quick what sort of snake. Was it a boa constrictor? It was a yellow one.

It was yellow. All right. I mean, I'm really taking a crack here. I don't know at all. No, neither do I. Ooh, you've gone way early. I have gone very early. Jess, 2004.

Ducko was? 2011. 2011. The correct answer is 2001. early. I have gone very early. Jess, 2004. Ducko was? 2011. 2011. The correct answer is 2001. Oh. I was well off. Brittany's tough. This is Cobra Starship.

Oh, here we go. He's got the tops of snakes. Starship. Do girls go bad? They do sometimes, you know. I remember when this song... Yeah, you push us. You push us, Ducko.

You push an angel, you push a good girl, and she'll become a devil. It was an albino python, by the way. Thank you. I would have said Babs used to be a good girl. I reckon we turned her bad. This show will turn you bad. Sorry, this song, Good Girls Gone Bad, yes. Cobbler Starship.

I don't reckon it's as early as we think. Once again, it's one of those trashy songs that could just be any era from 08 to 2019. You know what I mean? Agreed. And I don't feel like it's a dance floor banger, so I don't think I would have heard it at the clubs. Or maybe you just went to the right clubs. Maybe. No, because you were too busy being a good girl.

You hadn't gone bad yet. I've heard this at the club with plenty of bad girls. You know what I mean? They don't play this at the good girl clubs. With their low-rise jeans. Oh, yeah. The whale tails were out. And piercings.

Oh, hell yeah. I'm going to say, jeez, I need one here. I really need one. Oh, crap. I've got... Jess is in. What do you go? I went 17.

Oh, that's exactly what I did. Shut up. I'm going to go... I'll go 16. Okay. All right. You're both wrong? I went 17. Oh, that's exactly what I did. Shut up. I'll go 16. Okay. Alright. You're both wrong. It's 2009. Wow! My apologies. That definitely was earlier than I... Well off. No points. One to Jess.

A lot of these people... Nicki Minaj, Anaconda. I love this song. It's a great song. This is a good song. Geez, once again. I mean, to work. What was Nicki in it? I'm not even going to say it. It's 7.46. Jeez, once again. I mean, to work. What was Nicky in? I'm not even going to say it.

It's 7.46. Yeah, I don't think you can. Be careful. Tread sideways. How much of this song have you put in the system, Shaga? Whatever's in the system. God. I took it from the system.

Now, I... I don't know. I wrote a parody song to this, though, when I worked on community radio. I would love to get my hands on that. Yeah. Have you got it? It might be on SoundCloud. What was it called?

We rewrote the lyrics about our co-hosts at the time. Oh, jeez. That would have been funny. Who were Tom and Murphy. So you can imagine it was really kooky. That one killed it. So that wouldn't be. You won a radio award for that, did you?

Community radio. That wouldn't get noticed. People in the old places. So that, okay. So you wrote that one. I'm sorry. I need to pick up on your clues you put in there. Yeah.

So it was when I worked on community radio, but the issue is, was the song new when we parried it? The other issue is, I don't know what year you worked on community radio. That's my main issue. I've got to go right now. Why don't you know my resume? Back to fun. Okay.

I'm going to go with... Jess is in. I appreciate you've cut the verses out. Oh, my God, we've done it again. Shut up, Waveland. I mean... I mean, you changed last time. I'll change.

Oh, no, but I had the memory. You... Oh, jeez, okay. You know what? I'll go higher, 16. All right, 2016 for Ducko, 2014 for Jess with the correct answer. Oh, come on! Come on!

Last song. That is so annoying. I mean, Jess won anyway. I had it. That would have been a draw and this would have been a tiebreaker. That happened with Birdie Oki last week. This is DJ Snake and Bieber. Let me love you. What year do you think it came out in? Uh... I have no idea. Let Me Love You. What year do you think it came out in?

I have no idea. No community radio connection. I remember back announcing this song. I think it was like... I just keep humming along to it while I try and think of the year. Is it COVID time? Could be. I'm not going to really help you on this one because you just really screwed me on the last one.

So, you know, otherwise this would be a tiebreaker. Hey, hey, have you written the parody song? Yeah. We still have no proof of that. Babs is on the case. Yeah, look at my... We're not going home today until we find a bad one. Look at my SoundCloud.

I think it's on there. I'm going to say... Trying to SoundCloud? Yeah, I think we bought SoundCloud. We'll partner with them or something. Oh, there you go. Okay. All right.

Darko, 2017. Jess, something. Oh, there you go. Okay. All right. Ducko 2017. Jess 2020. The correct answer is 2016. Oh, just over. I mean, damn. Well, there you go. None of those songs were about snakes. No, but good, you know.

Relating to. But a lot of artists. Great theme there. That's pretty much it. I've run out after. Do we do every year about Chinese New Year? We've got the rat, the ox, the tiger, the rabbit, the dragon. We could do songs about ox.

Songs would be tough, yeah. Jess and Daco. I just feel really cool and I want to brag. There we go, guys. Get ready, everyone. Here she comes. I have inadvertently stumbled upon a trend I didn't even realise was the craze with the young ones. I just started doing it.

It's another one of my 2025 goals. We're not going to bring up. We know juggling was a failure. We did that last Friday. So rude. We spent a couple of weeks on that. I was just telling you how the pretty amazing Jono was congratulating me on my effort. But another one of my, which I haven't told you about because it's a quiet little thing

that I'm doing just to try and be a better person and better for the environment. But here we go. Last year, my husband didn't sit me down, but we had a bit of a conversation about spending and about the state of our finances. And we want to do some work to the house. And he went, I think we should talk about money and spending. Yeah. And he just highlighted a few things. We know with you famously, any birthday or any time there's a reason to spend money,

you will spend way too much money or put way too much money into it. And Christmas really highlights. I love gift giving and I love shopping for my friends, but more often than not, I go, you know who'd like that? Me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you buy yourself one too. And I need to be reined in.

So it was a great conversation. But you know me also, Ducko. Don't do things by halves. Yeah. So I went, right. I'm not buying anything new in 2025. Oh, that will not last. That absolutely will not last.

It's day 28. I've not, besides food. You need food to live. You need food. Are we talking like fashion, items? Fashion? Yeah. Beauty?

Which I regret because I've run out of moisturizer now and I don't know what to do. Anyway, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's not run out yet. Nothing new for myself in 2025. That was my goal. And I'd written it down, you know, to keep myself on that task. I'm going to put it in my notes, refer back to it.

Come on. You can do this. A little mantra or something like that? Did you give yourself a little quote? Don't do it. Okay. You don't need it. You don't to it. Come on. You can do this. A little mantra or something like that? Did you give yourself a little quote? Don't do it. Okay. You don't need it. You don't need it.

But then I'm bloody doing some reading. I stumble upon a Vogue or an Elle magazine. Of course. This is a craze with the young ones. No buy or no spend challenges have taken over social media, reached fever pitch in 2025. Because obviously we're a bit more concerned about the environment now more than ever. And the young ones are really concerned about their carbon footprint.

They're concerned about everything. Fast fashion is one of the worst contributors to the detriment of the environment. So you're allowed to hire clothes. Hire is okay. Because you're not buying. Exactly. I see. The average Australian lady, can you guess how many new items of clothing the average Australian lady buys per year?

Are we including like underpants? No, let's go fashion items only. The number of new items a woman will buy in this country per year. 30? 56. Oh, wow. That's more than one a week. Great way to look at it.

You're right, though, because even thinking with my wife, who doesn't go that hand with the buying, but it's like, if there's a hen's coming up or a wedding, it's, I can't wear that dress because I wore it to that event. So it needs to be a new one. Do you know, I used to look at my Instagram, how sick is this? I used to look at my Instagram account. I've got beautiful dresses. I go, that dress I posted like four posts ago because an event was.

So you can't wear it again. I can't wear it again. Because you'll get a photo and you can't live there. How gross is that mentality? It's wild. It's awful. So I've gone all the way, but the young ones are doing it too and I feel really like.

Was Babs in on this trend as well? Oh, I'm not sure. Babs, are you doing a no-buy trend potentially? By accidents because I can't afford any more clothes. Yeah, that's because of the salary difference between you and Babs. Oh, well, let's not bring that up. The young ones are doing the trend because the young ones are probably all working casually. Chess is out there being like, anyway, I'm in a trend.

I'm one of you. What I wanted to bring up. I'm so relatable. I'm not playing business. I'm playing premium economy. Shut up about that. What I wanted to bring up, though, because I'm now going to the gym so much. I busted a hole in my gym shorts because of me chub rub,

and now I need new gym shorts. I'm going, but I can't buy them. Can't buy them. Lucky you get that free gym anyway. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back to you, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. Today's player is Taylor. Good morning, Taylor. Good morning.

Taylor, how are you feeling after the long weekend? I'm feeling good. Feeling good. Okay, good. Not too dusty. Taylor, how are you feeling after the long weekend? I'm feeling good. Feeling good. Okay, good. Not too dusty. Yes, very good. What would you like to spend $10,000 on? Towards a new car, definitely.

Okay. Yeah, because you just need one. The other one's breaking down. My other one's been breaking down. I've only just got it fixed, but yeah, it would help me. All right. Yes, it would. $10,000 would go a long way.

The letter you're going to work with today, Taylor, we had a vowel at 6.30 and we've got another one. You're going to work with I. Okay. I for I believe in you, Taylor. I'm nervous now. There you go. You're in the zone.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I see what she's doing. Very good. What are other I words? Your time will start after the first question, Tay. You ready? Yep. Yep. Okay ready? Yep, yep.

Okay. Okay, come on. Starting with the letter I, we need you to name a medication. Pass. A flower. Pass. A piece of technology. Internet modem.

A nursery rhyme. Pass. A body rhyme. Pass. A body part. Pass. An Australian animal. Oh, my God. I don't know. Pass.

A brand. I do. A girl's name. Isabel. A drink. Oh, I see. An animated... Well, we did get some respectability back at the end there

because we were looking for only a one there. We got ourselves four in the end. That's so much harder than what I thought. I mean, the vowels are tough. I can be hard. A medication. Ibuprofen. Oh, yep.

You think of it as Nurofen, but it's Ibuprofen. A flower could have been Iris. A nursery rhyme, Itsy Bitsy Spider. I'm a little teapot, Shogo's favourite. A body part was the... He does a great spout. Isn't he a good spout? You know why?

Because his limbs are so long. That spout. Every morning, Ducko, look at my spout. I know, buddy, you're killing it. You see his spout before you see him. Oh, yeah, I do. That's where he enters rooms. Spout first.

Body part could have been index finger or intestine. And Australian animal, the humble ibis, Taylor. Oh, the bean chicken. The bean chook. The bean chicken. Everything else you got correct, but you don't go away and be handed here. We would never let you go away, nude. We give you $100 to spend at Urban Jungle Beauty.

That's all yours. Awesome. Thank you, guys. Thank you, Taylor. Good luck with the new car. Thank you. Thank you. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. Nobody would do this. Thank you, Taylor. Good luck with the new car. Thank you. Thank you. Jess and Ducko.

13, 10, 60, nobody would do this but my partner. Yeah. And finish that sentence. What do they do? It's the nitty-gritty things. They see you in every different, you know, way, shape and form. You don't trust anyone. No.

Like you do your partner. Even I would say medical professionals sometimes. Yep. You just happen to have both in one. You've got a two-in-one. I've got a two-in-one partner, which can be really bad for sympathy things. Yes. Having a nurse wife.

I ate a hole in foot from a rusty nail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No sympathy. When I was at the box and I got the hole in foot, I had to, like, call her and she had to, like, text me instructions on how to clean and what to do. Anyway. Do you have my Medicare card? Yeah.

She's got a new one. So I noticed some, like, there was a pain in my, there's no polite way to say this area, in the gorge. Yeah. There was just, I noticed there was something going on. Is that the medical term? Like, anatomical. You know that painting Leonardo da Vinci did of the human body?

Yeah. Did he write? I mean, I imagine so. Perineum. Oh, the perineum. That's correct. It's like stitch. It feels like it's where you're sewn together. Oh, the perineum. That's correct. It's like stitch. It feels like it's where you're sewn together.

Like if we were a doll. It's the seam. It is the seam. It's like a Build-A-Bear. That's where the heart would go. And for the gentleman between the, yeah, the boot into the other stuff. It's the perineum, right? Yes. You've got to map.

Yeah. And I'd had an ingrown hair in there. I don't know how it happened. What are you going to say? What are you going to say? I was going to say you've got to exfoliate. That's how you avoid ingrown hairs. You're a hairy boy.

What? Babs also says it's known as a taint. No, I wrote that. I did not write that. That's how it's called, the taint. I wrote that one. Taint is way funnier. Taint how it's called, the taint. I wrote that one. Taint is way funnier. Taint?

Taint. American slang for it is taint. Hopefully I'm not saying any rude, but I had a pimple in me taint. I wonder if American radio shows laugh that we call it gooch. Gooch is also a great word. You had an ingrown hair. My wife loves popping pimples. She's one of those people.

She's a doctor pimple popper. Yeah, I think it's the grossest, weirdest thing. She loves doing it. Couldn't agree more. It's just awful. So anyway, I've told her that I've got this. I was like, I think I've got ingrown hair. Could you feel it?

I could feel it. With your finger or just the sensation? Both, Jess. With both, okay? First I felt the sensation. Then I got my finger and went, okay, there's an issue there. There is something there that doesn't normally live there. And I'm a hairy boy.

You are. Yeah. We're working on Ancestry.com. You've got Greek in you. 100%. Just down there, though. So then what I had to do, what I had to do is I had to go, Morgan, can you look at this?

And she's like, oh, yeah. I take off my pants and everything. Yeah, describe the can you look at this? And she's like, oh yeah. I take off my pants and everything. And I had to pop my leg on the kitchen bench. So my legs up like this. I got one leg up on the bench and one leg down. And so it's just open and she's underneath me. What? With an iPhone torch? Or does she have a medical one? I don't think it was a torch. She was like, oh yeah, you've got a pimple. Oh, it's ingrown. She is 29, 28 weeks pregnant.

Was she in like a deep squat? She was squatting down and she got the double thumb out and she just proceeded to go to town on me. Oh, God, you've got to be careful. That could get infected. Well, that's what she was worried about too. Did she wash her hands? Did she wash her hands?

I washed the area. So eventually it hurt so much. It hurt. You know when the people get pimples out? You know, absolutely. I thought pimple in the crevice of the nose was painful, but I've never had an ingrown hair. I also just think there's something about having my wife down there doing that

that just made me feel so vulnerable. I know. I picture you, because I am picturing you, still with a top on and also runners and socks for some reason, but just no pants. How did you know? Don't tell me runners and socks. You're like a little boy who's gone to the bathroom to remove all the pants, but everything

else is on. Connie, can you get this? And the thing is, didn't even wig her out. She was fine with it. She popped it. She got it out. She's married to that gooch. That's her domain. That's part of the vows.

Yes, it is. So I thought on 13, 10, 16, because when I had that moment and had my leg in the air and she was popping it, I thought no one else would do this. And I know. I'm not coming to your house and asking you to do that. I've asked you to put tan on my back and you wigged out so there's no way. There's not a chance.

And I'm sure if the tables were turned you would have done the exact same thing for her. She doesn't let me pop her pimples. Oh. She says my techniques are good. I'm like, okay. But down there, it's not like she could reach down there. So true.

Particularly now with the belly. So true. Does she like us talking about her like this? I don't know if she knows. And if you work with her, don't you tell her. Yeah, you shut up. You know who you are. Oh, no one would do that but your partner.

Yeah, no one but your partner. So 13, 10, 60. Finish that sentence. We have the laptops available. We do. If you can, you know, if you've got a taint story, great. If not, we'll take whatever. Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. Right now, 13, 10, 60. You're asking, nobody would do this except my partner. Yeah, your wife. She's amazing. Yeah, I got a two for one. You are so lucky. I got a two and one. You're asking, nobody would do this except my partner. Yeah, your wife. She's amazing. Yeah, I got a two for one. You are so lucky. I got a two in one.

You know what I mean? That's right. Not just shampoo and conditioner in your house. Oh, yeah. I got a nurse wife. The old two in one. And everyone who dates a medical professional, I've said this plenty of times on the show, and I think nurses will admit this.

They lack in empathy and sympathy for their partners because they go to work and they see such hectic things. They see the worst of the worst. And your wife especially. All right. She's not in ER, but she's in cardiac theatre. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got hearts on the table.

Yeah. But you coming in with a little ingrown hair. Yeah. On me taint. I had a Gucci ingrown hair and she was fine with it. Got down there, got underneath, popped it, enjoyed it. I don't know if I've had an ingrown hair. Really?

I feel like that's something you would know, right? Yeah. It's annoying. They hurt. Absolutely. The worst thing is you've got to pull the hair out. Yes, because that can get infected, right? Yeah, yeah.

Like the ingrown toenail. And nothing hurts more than your partner doing it to you. Popping a pimple, getting a hair like... And you were saying she was going in with thumbs, not tweezers or a sharp needle. It was a double thumb attack. That would have really hurt. Yeah, when you had a double thumb in your taint, you come to me and talk. Because that, well, I think I'll come to Morgan and be like, you're the expert now.

She doesn't know how it feels. I'm not going to waste Angus's time. No, but in terms of executing a resolution. Yeah, that's true. She knew how to get rid of it. She knew how to get rid of it. Begs the question, though, nobody would do this except my partner. That's right. Kayla, very quick on the phone. Kayla, good morning. Hi, good morning. This conjured up something for you.

Kayla, can you finish the sentence? No, nobody would do that but my partner. So he gets really bad pimples on his back and I have to pop them for him. But when I pop them, I've got to give him the puff so he can smell it. Oh my goodness. Wait, so he got to give him the pus so he can smell it. Oh my goodness. Wait, so he likes to smell it? Yes. I've got... So you pop it, you get the pus on your finger, then you go, here you go, honey, and he just...

Yes, it makes me sick. This is... I don't know if this is a dumb question. Why? That is weird. Because he likes the smell or is he sniffing for infection or something? I don't know, but he's got to smell it. I don't know.

Imagine him smelling my taint pus. Yuck. That's the line, isn't it? Did you keep it? Did you keep it? Obviously. Morgan, put that in the jar. Kayla.

Oh, that is disgusting and unique. That must be real love there. Yeah, you've got to love someone. You've got to be together a long time before you work up the courage to go, can I smell that? Yeah. And not think they're going to run for the hills. Exactly.

Emma on 1310 CCT. Thank you, Ella. Emma, nobody would do this except my partner. What have you got for us? So I'll give you a little bit of background first. My partner's fine when his friends are hurt like if it's guy but not a girl or kids okay so um i get hydrogenitis superteva which is like um where you get a pimple sort of thing but you can't just pop it you got to go to the hospital and have it surgically

drunk we're talking like cyst territory? Yeah, yeah. It's like a cyst. And so when I come home, I've got to get him to change my dressings. And he's happy to do it, but he will spend the whole time, like, gagging and trying not to be sick and pass out because it's a girl. Yeah, right. I see what you're saying. Oh, God.

He can't handle the female cyst juice. No, not at all. Any cyst juice is, you know. Any cyst juice is pretty intense. But if it came out of a man, I wonder if you could tell the difference. If we blindfolded him and you came in with your situation. My taint juice. Yeah.

And Emma was next to you. Could you pick? No, this one's the lady. Yeah. There's probably a few giveaways. It's so amusing for me. I'll bet. I'll bet. Oh, that is. God, we've learned some stuff. It's so amusing for me. I'll bet. I'll bet.

Oh, that is. God, we've learned some stuff. Oh, geez, we have. We've learned there's some great partners. We have. I love how there's been a fair few people calling, all seeming to be pimples. I mean, Brenda called, she dropped out,

but she said her partner had to check if she had a nugget up her bum. Do you mean a chicken nugget? No, like poop. I was like, Brenda should know if there was a chicken nugget? No, like poop. Oh. I was like, Brenda should know if there was a chicken nugget up there. Now I have so many questions for Brenda and she's not here. Get her back. And she's not here.

Her partner had to check if she had the, she probably hung up last minute because she was scared to sat in and Babs had just come on here and said it anyway. So, you know, I'm trying to think what that would feel like. I don't understand. It's like it's an incomplete number two. She's like, is there still some in me? What is? Jess and Daco.

Now, we were hoping to have that breaking Arnott's Woolworths news. We gave it to you last week that they were in the fridge aisle next to the eggs. That's right, which just opened so many more questions for us because why Tim Tams, only Choccy Bicky, who were going to be sold refrigerated? We temperature checked the rice cookers, and so many people do prefer their choc in the fridge. But we were like, where has this motivation come from? Should I be trying to get Arnott's to comment?

Yeah, they didn't come on. Arnott said they loved what we did. They wouldn't come on. They wouldn't come on. Trying to get Woolies, Woolies wouldn't come on. Because we want to know, was it just a personal preference of someone high up? I love the idea that the new CEO has gone, Tim Tams should have been meant to be cold.

It's the most objective thing ever. So they rearranged the whole supermarket. But then they had still some Tim Tams in the normal aisle. So we thought, oh, they're trialling it. They're going to do the long weekend. It's meant to end on the 28th. They'll see which sold more and then make the move permanently. Yeah.

So Shy Guy all weekend has tried to get someone to come on our show just to literally tell us they're staying cold or they're going back to the aisle. They're going back, yeah. But no one's coming on. No reply. Yeah. We know we've got some great rice cookers in our community who work at Woolies. They're on the front line.

So we sent a few messages out. Shago, Babs, making a few phone calls. Boots on the ground. Boots on the ground. Oh. Maybe we'll stop saying her name, but we just had someone waiting, waiting in the wings. Check out. Check out. Who was going to come on the show. Yeah, yeah, just had someone waiting, waiting in the wings. Check out, check out. Who was going to come on the show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shy Guy, can you explain what's just happened? She's been told not to talk to us on the radio. Were you silent or were you silenced? The plot thickens with this. By who? Yeah, why is this happening? Has Arnott intercepted the call?

She's been told not to talk. Have we unearthed something more? Like, were they just sneakily doing this and seeing that all of a sudden they were... We're one email away from a cease and desist, I think. Hey, man, they put it there. We're just discussing it. We're just discussing it. And all we wanted to know was, is the move going to be permanent?

13, 10, 16, if any of the rice cookers out there have any more word or no. Who isn't afraid? Maybe you're afraid of your friend. Yeah, yeah. Up against Woolies and Alex. Because I appreciate our anonymous person. Yeah. I think she's been silenced.

She's been silenced for sure. A la me and Michael. She got muzzled. She got muzzled. She just got muzzled. What is the big controversy? Why does it matter so much? Why does it matter?

It was a simple little story that had a lot of backlash. Maybe you keep the momentum going with the secrecy. I see. Maybe that's their game that they're playing. Oh, they want the press. They want conspiracies. I mean, our text line was blowing up. It's Choccy Bickies in a... I know. No, no, I know you. I know. It's Choccy Bickies. We've covered worse. We've covered

way worse. We've covered much worse. This talks about Darko's gooch. My taint. My taint was just getting a good run for 20 minutes. But God forbid we speak about the Tim Tams and Woolies. Why can't people explain this? And not to pivot too hard to the left, Ducko. Yeah. But we had another rice cooker DM us on Jess and Ducko at her local Coles.

Yes. Eggs now being sold in the Zoopa Doopa aisle. Sorry? How does that even work? No, no, no. Zoopa Doopas need to be frozen. Well, when they're... Oh, they not come frozen?

No, they come liquefied. Do they not? I never knew that. Of course they don't. So she sent a photo. I haven't bought Zoopa Doopas in a while. That's very fair. You're not 11.

Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. Anonymous has called in. Okay, 131060. Good morning, Anonymous. Good morning. Anonymous, it says here, you work at Woolies. Maybe. Maybe. Okay. All morning, Anonymous. Good morning. Anonymous, it says here, you work at Woolies. Maybe. Alright, alright. Let's keep it

vague. Let's keep it vague. You may or may not work at Woolies. Do you have information pertaining to the Tim Tam in the fridge saga? Yes. It's just temporary. Okay. Have you heard this from your boss? Uh, it's just temporary. Okay. Okay.

Have you heard this from your boss? Uh, yes. Yes. Uh, it's just, but there's no eggs. So putting something else in the fridge. Oh, because there's an egg shortage, they're filling it with Tim Tams as like a look over here, look away. Oh my God. Anonymous offers.

Ah. So instead of putting the, uh, sorry, you know, due to the crisis. There my god. Anonymous offers. So instead of putting the sorry due to the crisis. There's like five empty shelves here. And I'm sure you would have to deal with a lot of complaints about the egg thing, Anonymous. Has this been a bit of a shiny toy distraction?

Oh, more. They were on a special last week so I'll put them in there kind of thing. And have you found, now that we have a source, a pipeline, have you found more people are purchasing them because they're refrigerated? I could not comment. Oh, okay. That's a soft yes I'm hearing.

Which would lend me to think it's not going to be temporary. What products? Like how far could we push this? What else could we chuck in that section? Maybe Zoopa Doopas come frozen. Oh, that could be good. Okay, yeah, yeah. I was thinking more like put them in with the chips.

How come I can buy Frosty Fruit ready to go, but I can't buy Zoopa Doopa ready to go? We've just unlocked something here. And also, very good distraction because it got me. 100%. It made me want to buy the Tim Tams. It got the whole country. No one's talking about the eggs right now because we're all so consumed on why Tim Tams are suddenly in the fridge.

I am hung up that TV snacks have been left in the aisle. TV snacks are just gross. What's a TV snack? Exactly. Exactly. I don't know. Anonymous, are you still there? Does anyone buy TV snacks?

I guess so. Me! I buy TV snacks? I guess so. Me! I buy TV snacks. Jess and Ducko. Usually you hear that once a week. On a Friday, we collate all the rice cookers who have gotten in touch and we go, yeah, you were the best. You were good.

This week, Harvey Norman went, let's do it every day. Yep. Let's do it every single day. Let's give Jess and Ducko a co-fod. Yes. So people calling about taint stories or stepping on stories, you know, they could potentially win a prize. Pokemon cards.

Pokemon card fights. We have got a laptop a day just in time for school to go back. We know Beatway OD is a big thing, but we want to make it very clear. Yep. You do with that laptop what you will. It's up to you. Maybe mummy needs a new laptop. Oh, yeah.

The kid can deal with the one from last year. Absolutely. Thank you to everyone who got involved today. Some great stories, wonderful contributions. But in the early hours of the morning, Duckucco, you told us about your issue. My Bucks party issue. Stepped on a rusty nail on the last night there. Didn't have a tetanus shot.

Had to go, you know, I was actually trying to help someone who got scratched by a dog. You were being party dad? I was being party dad. And party dad was punished. And then had to get a tetanus shot because I had like 48 hours to get that because I hadn't had one in over a decade. But look at you looking at the silver lining. You said it came with the hooping cough.

Bang. Ticked that one off. Which new parents need. It was like when I was sitting in the waiting room after a Bucks party decade. But look at you looking at the silver lining. You said it came with the hooping cough. Bang. Ticked that one off. Which new parents need. It was like when I was sitting in the waiting room after a box party, I thought, are you about to be a dad? I was like, why are you asking? I'm responsible. I'm good.

Do you know how I got this needle in my foot? I was helping someone. I was helping a good guy. But it begged the question, what have you stepped on? What did you step on? Jamie gave us this. Well, I stepped in my best friend's amniotic fluid. Okay.

Jamie, Jamie. So the water's broken or was she halfway through? When does the fluid come out? The water's broke. Yep. She'd gone to, she was dyeing her hair, gone to dye her hair, come out. My waters have broken, puddle all over the floor, and then panic mode set in, rushing around, and I've slipped in it.

Oh, no. That is comical. That is very funny. Oh, my God. You need to be helping there, and then the pregnant one's going, okay, I guess I'm now helping you. Jamie's slipping over. Your sister's for life in that moment.

Oh, 100%. Five years later, we still have a good giggle about it. It could only happen to us. We love it. And it's scored Jamie a laptop. Congratulations. Oh, my God. Good story, sis.

We wanted to thank you. Jamie's now at work not being able to talk about the fluid anymore. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. She's like, I told that story at 6.45 for a reason. She's in a meeting room, scheduled a meeting for this time. No, I'm just at work.

Very good. Is there a child in your life that you want to give the laptop to, Jamie, or is this now yours? It's definitely mine because I don't trust my three-year-old. Fair enough. Fair call. Three-year-old doesn't deserve a laptop. I mean, the way these kids are with tech, though.

Oh, yeah, sure. I'll know. Probably could work it. Well, well done, Jamie. You enjoy that one. I mean, the way these kids are with tech, though. Oh, yeah, sure. I'll know. Probably could work it. Well, well done, Jamie. You enjoy that one. Thank you, guys. That's, oh, made my whole week. Great.

You made ours. Only Tuesday. You did make ours. Thank you very much, Jamie. Have a great day. You guys, too. Thank you. We do have it again every single day this week.

We draw it at this time every day, too. So you get involved. You tell us a good tale at any time. It could be you winning it. Do we do tomorrow? What were you doing when the waters broke? I mean, I love she was dyeing her hair. I know some women get very like, I've got to make sure all my appointments are booked in. Yeah, before I do it.

Before Labor Day. So I'm, you know, looking my freshest. Yeah. And feeling my best. We could do that. Because also, you're not going to the hair salon with a one day old. So you've got to do it all before. What were you doing right before the waters broke?

Yeah, yeah. How long do you actually, when your water breaks, how long do you actually have? That's a great question. I think it varies woman to woman. Because it's not actually. Because I had an induction, so I'm not the right person. Yeah, okay.

Because I know there is a bit of a window where it's like, okay, dangerous now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that water's obviously playing a role. Yeah, it's doing something. In keeping the kids safe. How much water comes out? I'm not sure.

So I did it, my water broke and we were lying down. So I never actually looked at the bed. You didn't see the puddle. I didn't see a puddle. Damn it. I don't know if it's like the movies where it's waterfall territory. Yeah, it's not that hectic. Like, is it a water bottle?

Like a two litre just... And just come straight out. Are you Googling that, Shy Guy? How much water comes out when water's sprayed? Mate, what else are you doing? You're typing something. I found your SoundCloud. Shut up. You found a parody song she did. I found your SoundCloud. Shut up.

You found a parody song she did? I found a number of things. Is it good? I haven't heard any of it yet. We've taken a real sharp turn. Rice Cooks have no idea what we're talking about. Jess mentioned in Year of the Song about an hour and a half ago that she did a parody song to Nicki Minaj, Anaconda.

Very good. It might be on my SoundCloud. In community radio. Community radio days. And it might be on my sound. In community radio. Community radio days. And it was trash. Of course it was trash. You heard me sing now. I wasn't any better eight years ago.

And parody songs used to be a thing on radio a fair bit. They were. And you know me. That's not my jam as it is. No, not at all. It's very out of your comfort zone. Babs is skipping back the conversation. 6 to 800 millimetres of water comes out when you break,

which is, you know, about three cups worth. That's a fair bit. That's a fair amount, yeah. That is a fair bit. Three cups worth. I'm going to go home today. I'm going to get my cup measured. I'm going to go below Morgan.

I'm going to stand in front of her and I'm going to pour it out and go, bang, your waters have just broken. Yeah. And when you have a caesarean, where, like, the water doesn't break, does it? You're asking me. You're asking me and Shy Guy. I'm asking the area. Yeah, I'm asking the team.

I'm asking Babs to Google. God, the body's amazing. It's incredible, isn't it? The body's just incredible. It is just incredible. Anyway, so tomorrow we'll hear your parody song. Sure. And then do you want to do Where Were You When the Waters Broke?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, your water broke where? Your water broke where? What were you doing as do Where Were You When the Water Broke? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Your Water Broke Where? Your Water Broke Where? What were you doing as your water broke or just before your water broke? Yeah. They break it. They break it when you get a C-section. Good, thank you, Babs.

At least someone's Googling out there. She's been quick on the quick fingers, Babs. Yeah, she's been good out there. Oh, you know why? Tight party. This is going to sleep. Hey, we're out of here. We're back tomorrow.

More co-fods. Another co- back tomorrow. More co-fods. Another co-fod. Another co-fod. Could be you. Could tell us where your water broke. That's right. Yeah. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Brenda called. She dropped out, but she said her partner had to check if she had a nugget up her bum. You mean a chicken nugget? Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's.

OMG. T's and C's apply.