Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | This is not an O.C tribute show...

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

Is there a similarity between F1 driver Oscar Piastri and our very own Shy Guy? We find out if your relationship started with fast food and Morgans tasked Ducko in creating a push playlist and we need your help!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Surprise Friesies back at Macca's, with a one in three chance to win millions of prizes. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco Podcast. Welcome everybody to the podcast. My husband texts me, hey how's the morning been? I said, great freaking show. Did he not hear our perineum massage chat? I took the kid for a walk and bumped into someone, started talking about rostering, it was a whole thing. Trust me, the things he can do with his index finger and his thumb, my goodness, you're lucky. Good thumb say. You know what that's from?

Kneading dough. He's always been big at kneading dough. That's a euphemism. I'm good at mashing butter, but he is great at kneading dough. When are we doing Ancestry.com? Because I know you've got some Amish in you. Because you can't be that good at

churning butter without having something in your DNA. I know. I've got the swab test. I would like to do it. But I think it's an individual. I think it's a one-off and I want to do it. So we'll get you one. I think it's a hundred bucks.

I also want to do it with my dog as well. I really want to know what the heritage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know how much of what. That's the thing you can do, right? You don't have to spit in a jar or something. The problem with the bits is like Pam, is that it has like 50 different 50 different types it's like four percent this but you just take the predominant ones absolutely all the ones that you like to send you know or don't yeah that feels good yeah we

actually had so um pam came for a little drive with us on the weekend had to go to the pub i do trivia at because i left my laptop charger there morgan dropped me off i ran in got it i was so fast as she's going around the corner there wasworks. She was about to drive off and she kept going. And I was like, Morgan, wait, wait. I stop her. I run in and there's ladies there, there's roadworks ladies there. I'm like, oh, my God, that's such a cute dog. She's adorable.

That's the cutest dog I've ever seen. Just sticking her head out the window. And I run, I go, oh, yeah, that's Pam. And I get in the door and she goes, wait, wait, Pam, you're, that's. Famous Pam. And as we drive off, Pam goes. Was she like a stop slow person? She was like a stop slow.

And she growled at her. Yeah, but she's like, you're so cute. Pam's like. I'm like, sweetie, no. Pam will only take a compliment from like two people. You and Morgan. She's getting more people in her gang now. Yeah.

She likes you. She's got more friends. She growled at my kid the other day. She doesn't know Lucia. She likes you. You know, she's got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends.

She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She got more friends. She doesn't know Lucia.

She doesn't know Lucia. She doesn't know kids. She barks at kids. But doesn't Lucia smell like me? You know what I mean? Like, wouldn't there be an element of that? Speaking on Pam's behalf, I think she doesn't know to take them as a dog or a person. Yeah.

Because they're her size. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Are you a threat? Are you a combatant? Like, are you coming into my turf looking for my stuff? Belinda and Aidan sometimes bring their kids over, and she barks at one of them, not the other.

The older one or the younger one? The younger one. She barks at the younger one. She barks at the younger one. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The younger one does have more chaotic energy than the older one, so maybe she's just picking up on that.

But it's interesting. She just doesn't understand kids. Yeah. Doesn't bark at my sister's kids, though. She doesn't ever bark at them. It's weird. It is. And she sees them once a year.

Twice a year. No, probably once if that. Once if that. Yeah. So we need to get used to kids again. It's just such an interesting time. Now you're getting more and more stuff in the house, baby stuff. How has she been going?

Fine. Doesn't care. Totally fine with everything. Fantastic. Does not mind. She hasn't gone for... Have you got toys and stuff? Not really. Not stuffed toys. We do have a few stuffed toys. Okay. But she. I remember the first stuffed toy your mum sent down.

Pam was like, thank you, Grandma. That's for me. She still has Rabbit. But she does think the stuffed toys are hers. We just don't. We leave them out of reach. Yeah. For now. So that's going to be interesting. Oh, it is. And you know what? They adapt fast. Like up until Lucia coming around, all the stuffed toys in the house were Gianni's and he destroyed them. I'd buy llamas, crocodiles. I'd buy the ones from Pep Barn that are meant to be indestructible. And they get broken.

He could get through them. Yep. The kid comes around. I reckon he went for one avocado that was meant to be for Lucia. Yeah. Straight away. No, not for you. Mate, he doesn't touch stuffed toys at all now.

Oh, that's good. We pull his out and he goes. Oh, that's not me. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get any of them, which, not for you. Mate, he doesn't touch stuffed toys at all now. Oh, that's good. We pull his out and he goes. Oh, that's not me. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get any of them, which now I feel bad. I'm like, oh, it feels like I've ruined all toys for you. So now it's just got to be food for him, I guess. But it is interesting how quick they do adapt.

They'll adjust. They'll adjust, absolutely. Yes, I would like to do an ancestry for her and for me. What I'm curious about is, you know, the baby will be in your room probably between six and seven months before she outgrows the bassinet and maybe will move to her own room. Yeah. It'll be interesting because Pam sleeps with you guys, how quickly she goes,

I'm going with the kid. Yeah, I'm wondering. The kid becomes her favourite person. I'm wondering. We haven't got that with Gianna yet, but I'm waiting for him to go, I'm going to go sleep with her now. Well, he sleeps in the fridge. There's got to be close access.

There's always. If anyone drops cheese. Just waits. But yeah, I am wondering about it. One baby bell for Lucia. One baby bell for Gianni. One baby bell for me. Saw fucking baby bells and woos on her.

In the net? And I was like, oh, yeah. They're so gross. They're so gross. So the other day Lucia was cracking it and I was like, get her a snack. And Angus started preparing something. I went, bro, just peel the wax off the baby belly. He goes, I refuse.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. He's trying to make something. I was like, stupid. Well, she is going to be a Yakult baby, for sure. Probably. We were Yakult kids. Oh, I hate you.

Now the idea of it freaks me. What is it? It's gross. I could see Babs growing up on it. Is it like diluted milk? I did. Yeah, you'd like it. I used to love a Yakult.

It's like a probiotic, but what is it? Look at what's inside that thing, because it can't be good for you. Do you know what she does that I hate? I think I've told you about this, because then I caught Angus sucking on one. The yogurt pouches. Oh, yeah. I like the yogurt pouches. Oh, they're too young.

They're good, though. They are handy. Oh, no. You're not a big yogurt person, though. I'm not a yogurt person. You know, the only dairy I consume is cheese. And I'm not a milk person. You put a lot of it away. You should see my fridge, man.

Just cheese everywhere. I've got so many types of goat's cheese. What do you do with it all? Put it on toast. Put it on a Vita Wheat. Put it on a Crustkit. Real good. I didn't know goats made such good cheese.

I think they are the superior. If any cows are listening, goat is the superior. Milk for cheese. Don't you get our cow audience off. I'd even take a sheep milk over cow. Sheep milk? For cheese. Not just like in my cereal.

That's weird. I could see you doing that. Goat, sheep. I've had a yak cheesecake before. That was dense. That was dense. You know how your gut's after that. It was in Nepal. I don't know if that was like just...

There was a bit on there. There was a lot going on. Drop toilets, I'd imagine, too. You're not sitting down for that. I told you, I didn't come home from Nepal and India with any socks because I had to use them all. All your socks and undies were gone. Hey, you've got your cool fac brochure.

Yeah, it's just water, skim, milk powder, sugar, dextrose. Sugar? Dextrose. Sugar? Dextrose monohydrate? Yep. Is that bad for you? Is that like a preservative? I use that in the gym and add it to get gains. Gains?

So I put that in with creatine and protein. Hang on. So you should just be having a Yakult is what I'm hearing. Something called laxilobelius. It's like a bacteria, isn't it? Or is that the probiotic? So in between the sugar and the dextrose monohydrate. The unique live Lacticus sae bacillus.

That sounds like a mushroom. Parasassai. It sounds like a parasol. It just sounds like a sugary milk drink with a bit of bloody. You're cool. Light uses stevia. Oh, there you go. Bad for the brain.

Is it? Apparently so. No, she does have. Stevia, bad for the brain. Is it? Apparently so. No, she does have raw ingredients like sugar, if you're going to have it. Oh, my God. You can't have anything, though. You can't. It's all going to kill us. Everything's going to get you at some point.

I've been trying to cut back on bacon, which I have done a lot of, to be fair. I think about you. You know the only bacon I consume is in a Caesar salad. Yeah. And I think about you every time. I only have like a little bit of it. Yeah. What's wrong with bacon?

Bacon. All processed meat. All processed meat, they say, like a little bit of it. Yeah. What's wrong with bacon? Bacon. All processed meat. All processed meat, they say, is linked to lots of cancers and dementia. Because it's so processed. Yeah. The body kind of freaks out. I know. Which is shit, because bacon's delicious.

It is delicious. See, I eat my body weight in prosciutto every week. It's hard. I'm trying to have less bacon. If I go for a breakfast, not add the bacon with my eggs and toast and stuff. What do you sub it out with? Mushies or something? Nothing.

That's the problem. Nothing's hitting it. So you're paying full price but removing one of the ingredients. I usually do a smashed avo and I'll add eggs and bacon. So I'm like, that'll be $48. I'm like, geez, that's expensive. Sometimes you look at that and go, how did that happen? Oh, it's ridiculous.

I know. I got three bits of halloumi and now it's $10. I get really upset. I very rarely will do a big breakfast because I'm not an egg bacon. But sometimes it's like I want all the other sides. But you take off egg and bacon and add, oh, add a hash brown and some chorizo. But they just keep the same price and add those extras. I know I saved you on those two things I removed.

Take the money down. Take the money down. Just call it even. Breakfast is one of the great rorts. Absolutely. But it's my favorite meal to go out for. I was about to say, when people say it's their favorite meal to go out for. Oh, I love it.

It's so Australian. It is. I love going out. There's nothing better. If you go to the gym or something on a Saturday, wake up and you go out, you get a coffee and some brekkie out. I do love, as soon as you sit, can I start you with a coffee? Yes, you can.

I'll finish it by the time the food comes. And I'll get another one. Hit me with another. I'll start with a flat white or something. Okay. And then I'll go to a with another. I'll start with like a flat white or something. Okay. And then I'll go to a long black. I'll do a double cold brew. Oh, which is such a waste of fricking money because I've got a two litre in my fridge

at home. Yeah, at home. Stupid. What do you get, Baz? Have you gotten the coffee out? Just a cappuccino with soy. Will you go a double? Not for breakfast.

It's too expensive. Will you do a juice or something? No, I just have the one and then heaps of water, and I might go home and have another one. Okay. I don't know. Hey, you told us something you had not told us yet about your boyfriend living in a share house with the dudes. Yes, I definitely have.

How did that happen? No. Up until this point, he was living with his parents. It was the same time that I moved to my new house. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Because I was going to say, were you comfortable getting nude in his parents' house? That's no, too. Yeah, no. Yeah. No, no. Now, when you and Jethro are trying to rekindle and, you know, get in the throes of passions, I'm trying to say politely.

Show each other love with your bodies. Thank you. Thank you, Jess. Whose house is better, yours or his? Because you're both in chair houses. Oh, I don't know why you would expect me to answer that. No, but you're both in chair houses. I mean, like, structurally for the house, whose room is more tucked away?

Like, for example, my chair house living in Sydney, I live with four guys. I could hear my mate and his girlfriend, who's now his wife, mother of his children, but I could hear them having sex more often than not. Through the walls? Yep. Wow. And they weren't quiet. I'm like, well, I'm just lying in my bed like, fuck me.

You just beat them up. I was in my room like, well, if you can't beat them, join them. If you can't beat them, beat it. I was doing my room like, ah, well, if you can't beat him, join him. If you can't beat him, beat him. I was doing long distance. I was probably full on downstairs. He's had Morgan on speaker. Just, hey, honey, how hot's this? But sometimes they'd come out of that room

and I'd be in the living room and they'd be like, hang on. Oh, they're all flushed and sweaty. Do you think I can't hear? Oh, did you ever just like wait out the door with two glasses of water? Here you go, guys. You're the water boy.

Anyway, back to that. I told them no. Yeah, no, so which house is better? Call out plays. There you go, guys. Fantastic. You're the water boy. Anyway, back to Babs. I told them no. Yeah, no. So which house is better? Structurally. Call out plays. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Position change.

High five. Three, 62. Anyway, Babs, which house is better to fuck? Structurally. Yeah. Structurally. God damn. Because also, he's a house of dudes who wouldn't care.

You're in a house of girls who might be a bit judgy. Yes. I don't know. I don't a house of girls who might be a bit judgy. Yes. I don't know. I don't really read too much into it, to be honest. Come on. Surely you know there's a house that's easier. Are you saying that what I'm hearing is anywhere is a good topic? Oh, I see.

You would take that out of that. Kitchen? Living room? Yeah, on the stove top. Oh, yeah. All the time. The laundry about the laundry. But is his room closer to the next room as yours?

You know what I mean? Both our bedrooms are at the front of the house. We've been talking about the laundry. But is his room closer to the next room as yours? You know what I mean? Both our bedrooms are at the front of the house. Okay, there you go. And on their own? Or is it sort of like off the living room? No. Well, our houses are both smaller. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Who pays more in rent? Yeah, whose is more expensive? Yeah. Jethro's. Oh, even though it's divided by four? Yes, because they've got a pool and everything. Oh, they've got a pool. They've got the whole-

What suburb is it in? Um. Oh, you don't want to say? No, I can say. Well, it's in- People might throw down the cheeks, bro. It's in, like, Hamilton South, almost Merriweather. Oh, okay.

Border. Could you walk there from yours? Oh, it'd be a long walk. It'd be a walk, okay. Is it close to my house? Yes. I'm surprised you haven't driven past my car because it's on the main road. You know what?

I fucking did the other day. Yeah, that's what it is. The last time we had that issue when you were like, I saw the red beetle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was another red beetle. Yeah, I was going to say because people that work here always say, oh, Billy, I saw your car yesterday. Hey, hey, when the red beetle's out the front.

Right. I don't know what's going on. Maybe that's where they're doing it. Yeah, I'm sleeping. Because none of the rooms are good enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should I go? What's your favourite house?

Room in the house to do it in. Don't say the bedroom, you vanilla boring boy. Well, that's it. Imagine if he said something really scary. He's like, yeah, he's like the room where I keep my reptiles. On the roof. Fuck yeah, on the roof. A little bit of danger.

How's your house situation? How are your neighbours And stuff going Everyone's great Last year That was the most excited I've ever seen So much fun I'm warning

Everyone's great You should see what Debbie's making for dessert That's the furthest He's deviated from Piastri I thought my neighbour Was dead for a couple months Oh that's right

Because you hadn't seen her In a long time Yeah We're going to do Is she dead or not Call me Yeah Who wants to go knock on her door?

Yeah, yeah. Turns out she's alive. Still don't know who she is. She's got a kid, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't seen the kid in a while.

Yeah, okay. What revelation did you just have, Babs? Sorry, I just remembered something. About this? About the dead woman? No, about my family band across the road. Okay, well, you go. Okay, let's stay on topic.

The space is yours. Sorry, sorry. Who has the talking stick? Shaga or Babs? No, Shaga. Sorry. Okay, well, then we'll come back to Babs. Back to fucking on the roof. space is yours. Who has the talking stick? Should I go or Babs? No, Shaga, sorry. Okay, then we'll come back to Babs. Back to fucking on the roof. Yeah, yeah.

So you're neighbours? Yeah, I thought they were dead. They're not. I don't know. The house is good. Oh, Babs, you threw him off. Sorry. I'm actually excited.

We barely get anything out of him. No, you go. Come on. That's okay. Come on. No, we do too. What's happening? You do what the fuck?

Come on. No, there's nothing to say. And the other neighbours on the other side. Nah, it's okay. Come on. Say it. What's happening? You do what the fuck? Come on. No, there's nothing to say. And the other neighbours on the other side? Yeah, she's fine. She's old. We don't give a fuck about her as much, do we? Nah, I like her. She's cool.

Okay. Yep. Now to Babs. What relation? This better be freaking good. You've got a talking stick now. Okay. The family better cross the road of moving.

Oh, baby bear. The one we're an enemy with, like we're in a fight with. Well, yeah. So after I talked about with, like we're in a fight with. Yeah, so after I talked about it, they went silent for a while and then I saw the movie cards out the front. So you talked about it on air. The next day,

the billboard goes up. They heard Babs' blog and they're like, we're out of here. Are these the people that broke your window? No. They're across the road.

Yeah, at the back. You've got beef with your neighbors. Yeah, you do. It's a weird street. Yeah. It's very. You've got beef with your neighbors. Yeah, you do. It's a weird street. You're one of your soccer friends lives next to me. Yes, I think so. I see you're getting her balls out. Not Cargate. I'm not sure who it is.

She saw her getting her balls out. She had a sack of balls. She had a sack of footballs. I go, are you either related to Babs or do you play football with Babs? It turns out she does. Shut up. How funny is that? Didn't you say one of your friends was bailing on the team because they hated everyone?

How's that situation unfolded? I can't recall what we say off air and on air. No, neither. Yeah, she's in Japan. I don't know. Okay, so she's bailed on the club. She's having some gyozas. She doesn't care about the girls.

They don't build the young ones. They've got no resilience. She looked at me funny. I'm quitting. I'm very, I can't wait for your first game because I'm going to come. How did you go with the- I'm going to be like a proud uncle. Yeah, we've got banners.

We're all going to write B-A-B-S on our chest. We just need someone to be the ass. This bitch is baptastic. B-A-B-S-A-T-A-S-T-I-C. Bitch is baptastic. Don't even try and tell me you're dyslexic. I blacked out. Did I just smell that right?

That was good. I was. How did you go with the Jets coach that you said was coming in? Oh, yeah, that was humbling, but it was good. What did they say to you? Oh, nothing. He was just like brutal about it. He was like, yep, that was funny to watch.

Okay, next drill. I was like, oh. That was funny. Way to build me up, folks. Yeah, I was just like, everyone was laughing drill. I was like, oh. That was funny. The way to build me up, folks. Yeah, I was just like, everyone was laughing. But I was like... I heard I was walking past that field where you train soccer. We'd sometimes take our dog for a walk there.

Morgan and I were there. And the Arvo, they were setting up for like little kid soccer. Oh, yeah. Are you sure that wasn't for the... They were probably more skillful. They honestly are really good. And so then this coach gets out. He must have been my age, maybe a little bit older. And he's talking to this little kid. And he is like, alright, we're going to do this drill. You understand.

Do you get it? Or don't you let me down? I was like, fuck, he's been like, they're intense. There's like a little kids team that plays before us. And they are really good. I'm like watching them. And I reckon they're like six years old. And I'm like, that's crazy.

It's very serious. And there was like three coaches there. But it made me go, I can't wait for that stage of my life to be like ruthless to kids as a coach. Can you see yourself being a coach, a little league coach? Like a rugby coach or something like that. Boys, come on. You're letting us down.

Would you ever coach your daughter's team? 100%. You would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, ladies. Come on, girls. Bring it in. You know, I coach rowing.

I coach boys rowing and girls rowing to the highest of school level that you can go to the first aid. Okay. I much prefer coaching girls. Yeah, in terms of their receptiveness to being coached. Girls listen and take on feedback better than boys. Not that boys aren't listening, but they just struggle to take it on as much, whereas girls are very receptive to it.

Oh, okay. And also, maybe growing up with two sisters and stuff, and I think it's probably a good step for being a girl dad, but I can get on to the same page. I'm very emotional, so I can access those with a girl pretty easily. Yes, and I think women would pick up on that. Correct. Because we're more intuitive and emotional.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feeling like a coach was on your level probably is a better thing. Not that I couldn't do it with the guys, but it was just like, yeah, I understood that. That's interesting you could see that within yourself. Yeah, yeah. Very perceptive emotionally. It's funny, I think about.

We sit up. It's funny, I just think about being a parent. Like, if we have a second and it's not a girl, I'm going to freak the hell out. Because I go, I feel like I've got this. Yeah. I'm good at this. What do you mean it's a boy and they need to be treated differently or parented a bit differently? It'd be weird.

Play the player, not the game situation? It would be weird. Yeah. Are you hoping for a boy next if you go around or you don't care? Look, as I think everyone would say, healthy, absolutely. But I like the idea of you get best of both worlds, but also the idea of now having a boy freaks me out and I would feel so fishy out of water.

Yeah. I feel confident with Lucia. She's in some not great ways showing a lot of similarities to me. Her stubbornness, she goes from zero to 100. But I connect with that because that's me. Poor Angus. So if a boy comes along, I won't know what to do. Yeah, it'd be funny.

I'm sure every parent has probably said that. You adapt and you would work it out. You'd work it out. But I think't know what to do. Yeah, it'd be funny. And I'm sure every parent has probably said that. You adapt and you would work it out. You work it out. But I think I'd like another girl. Sisters is fun. If no more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. One or none. Yeah, one and done, yeah. People keep asking. So it'll be interesting, yeah. Are you guys already thinking about that? Yeah, a little bit. It's like, let's get through the first one.

Let's just get through the first one and see what happens. We might not want any. I said to Morgan, I was like, there's no give back for this kid. We don't like it. We can't see what happens. We might not want any. I said to Morgan, I was like, there's no give back for this kid. Like, we don't like it. We can't trade it in. Nah. There's no return policy. I would throw away all the paperwork about the arduous journey to get here.

Because it's just going to, if you reflect on that, it'll just be part. We'll just have to see how much money we spend to get it. Do you ever tell the kid that? It's it until I say it's not. Until she has a name. Anyway, enjoy the show. Take it up, take it up. Turn it up.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. There's only one show to wake up with. Jess and Ducko. The only talk show I listen to. The rest are rubbish. Broadcasting live. Doing it in, doing it out. All I want is noise. Turn it up, turn it up. I was once hit in the face with super glue. Had to shave me glues.

Hoo-ha. I'm going to keep on dancing. Whip yourself. Stop adding ladies to this, okay? You're lucky I did that. What did you put as your You're lucky I did that. Producer Babs. What did you put as your career skills? I said creative.

Beach shows at Big Vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Darko. Lights, camera, action. Good morning. Right on six o'clock. Welcome to a new week, team. Good morning. Good morning.

Pleasure to be with you. Always a pleasure. How was your weekend? It was, it went too fast. Too fast. It was very quick. I find you and I had to work Friday night. We had a cheeky little event to go to.

To host it. I actually find doing something on a Friday night that, you know, it's a bit big, it's a bit out of the usual. Yeah. It makes my weekend feel longer because it's like I've ticked a big thing off. Early. Early. Yeah, you'd get it done and you could enjoy the rest of the

weekend. But did you have more on the to-do list? I don't even remember what I did Saturday. Thank God I went to the gym. Lots of baby stuff. Lots of baby stuff. I did see you and Morgan. You built the pram. Pram's up. Gave a little spin around the living room. Oh yeah. Take Pam for a mock walk today. Mock walk.

That's meant to... Are you going to wait down the pram with like a sack of flour? I feel like I should. I want to put something... Chuck, have you ever been that baby doll in that I asked for? Ah, no. From your collection? From your doll collection?

I left it in the car. You know the one that like blinks? Yeah, yeah. The eyes tilt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like it's kind of having a stroke. Yeah. I think that's the one he really likes.

He likes that doll. I probably wouldn't give you that. Oh, that's Isabel. I won't bring Isabel. Don't bring Isabel. Oh, no. Isabel's in the car. Oh, good.

Thank you. Oh, she's in the car. You can't leave kids in the car. And a bowl of water. She's all good. She's got that guinea pig feeder, you know, attached to the window. Just sucking on it. Yeah, yeah.

Just a drip at a time, Isabel. You should have a blue chair. I should. Last week when we were talking about how I can't vacuum my house because my daughter hates the sound of the vacuum, I got that many messages being like, just put a robo-vac on. I'm like, guys, I would just leave her at home. She's at home all the time.

Yeah, she's always there. She's going to see it. She's got the guinea pig feet up. Yeah, what do you want me to do? Where do I put her? Hang her from the wall or something. Get her up. Put some headphones on her and just get it done.

But no, we got that set up. And then your husband gave me his old electric motor that he didn't want. That's right. He moved to petrol. Yeah, because I've already got petrol. He's done a switcheroo. Mine's an old big petrol and it's like pretty busted up now. It's like this thing has got to be 60 kilos. And your

block, you're on a slanted block. I've got to do so much carrying. I've got like one, two, three, I've got like five different levels to do. Someone's doing alright. Five levels of lawn. It sounds more than it is. It's quite annoying. And on two of those are council parts where you're like, do I have to mow this? Oh, of course, the very

front and then the back. But if I don't, I look like the homeless one. Absolutely. And your neighbour, you share like a tiny bit with your neighbour, right? Yeah, sliver, yeah. Do you just take care of theirs? I take care of theirs. And do they take care of you? No, because they're all rentals.

They don't care. Oh, so they get the gardeners in, I assume. Yeah. And they don't look after the shared turf? No, it's annoying. That would be one of the most un-Australian acts. I know. It's because they're just doing their jobs.

They're like, oh, this is the property I'm doing. I'm getting paid for this. Watching the boundary. Watching the boundary. And there it is. Who cares about the neighbour? If your lawn shares. And they're going, how do they hold a neighbour?

Come on, neighbour friendly. There you are, shirtless. You're doing their lawn. Yeah, I was shirtless yesterday. Can't return serve three weeks later. I know. So rude. I'm in my shirtless bandana era.

It's a whole thing. Morgan was paparazzi-ing you when you put it on her own Instagram. It was a hell of a look, son. She's got so many looks. People are saying Hulk Hogan, but you know who Hulk Hogan was? Oh, because he's got the handlebar.

And he wears the thing in his hand. What was with the... Was it the do-rag? The do-rag, yeah. I was meant to wear it on my top, but I was just being weird. I love it. Why not get weird on a Sunday

while you're doing your own laws? I love those Sundays, guys. You pay your mortgage there, your laws? Thank you. You dress however you want. Thank you. I did have this feeling when I was on the street, top was in a do-rag, being like, well, this is going to look odd.

That's like, you know my driveway, so where my front door is, sort of looks at my neighbour's front door, where it sort of paths down to the front doors. I'm a big walk around my own house nude. And I'm just like, Kev can see you. I went, it's my land. I will walk around there. If Kev will see my titties, he can.

You just like spraying him. You don't even shut the blinds. You don't even bother. No, it's my house. It's my property. It's my property. I do what I want on that. In my boundary, I will wear and be how I wish.

Yeah, I agree with you. Amen. You got it, you know what I mean? Our partners just trying to put shackles on us. How dare they? How dare they? We're peacocks. You've got to let us fly.

That's right. Shaga, do you walk around naked much? I could see you doing that around your own house. He'd trip over himself if he walked around naked. Goodness me. None of my windows face out the front or back. So that's why you chose this house. I've got a banana the size that mimicked Shaga today.

Really? It was a huge banana. I was like, geez, this must be what it's like to chose this house. I've got a banana the size that mimics Shy Guy today. Really? It was a huge banana. I was like, jeez, this must be what it's like to be Shy Guy. Are you eking that banana out over the week? You can't do that in one sitting. I know, I'll show you guys. Sure, there's no eking it. There's plenty for us all.

Okay, got it. Yes, to answer your question. Babs, we know you don't get naked around the house. We know that's not your thing. No, I don't. Is that because of your prudish nature or because you've got housemates? Because I've got housemates and my windows are always open, doors are open.

It's just not a good idea. Have you ever been at your boyfriend's house? Because he lives with mum and dad, right? No, he moved out. Oh, he moved. How did he move out? Is he in a boy's house? He's in a boy's house.

How's that going? Yeah, good. You get nude there? No. How many boys are in the house? There's four in total. Oh, that's boy's house. How's that going? Yeah, good. You get nude there? No. How many boys are in the house? There's four in total. Oh, that's a party house. It'd be dirty as all hell.

It's got a pool too. Oh, no one's cleaning that. That's getting green. You would never be able to find a mug or a fork in an all-boys house. Do they have any furniture? Yeah, they do. They have a lounge and a dining room table and stuff. They're doing all right.

The cheeks are doing okay. Oh, is it all the cheeks living together, the band? It is except one. Oh, who's the loser who didn't get included? The drummer, Bob. Oh! Hang on a minute. The cheeks is his band, by the way.

So in a house of four boys, one of the band isn't there, so it's another bloke in there. Yeah. Can he play an instrument, the other bloke? Because that would be awkward. No, he can't. Oh, imagine that. Imagine if he's like,

he's got time with the flute. He's like, do-do. No, he can't. Oh, imagine that. Imagine if he's like, he just comes home with the flute. He'd be like, do-do-do-do-do. We need a pan flute in our band. There's not enough pan flutes in commercial music. There is not. Tell the Cheeks to get this new bloke onto the pan flute. That'd be great.

Sure, yep. Very good. And for Bo, not to worry. Yeah, tell Bo. His job is safe. His job is safe. No one drums like the Bo man. That's right.

Hey, big show though. 10K Alphabucks at 6.30 and 8. We've got a call of fame this week. 500 bucks to spend online at TVSN. That's pretty good. You just get involved in the show. That's beauty stuff here. That's beauty stuff, baby. And then...

Box of Tarn, the beauty chef, and more. And then, don't forget my baby registry. You're listening after the crying baby, you hear that. Don't forget when today you have pulled out something unbelievable? $1,000 of bunnings. That is going to go so far. If you've got DIY, reno projects, even just to have in your back pocket, knowing, oh, crap, I need light bulbs.

You don't need to pay for those, baby. You've got $1,000 to spend on bunnies. Here I am taking a secondhand mower off your husband. I'm giving away $1,000 of bunnies. Hey, man, your wife was not happy with some of the items you put on the registry, so we took them all off. Just give it to the people. She's regretting now when she heard about the robo-vac and mop from last week.

But sorry. What can you do about it? It's all going to the rice cooker. And the $1,000 Woolies voucher. Sorry, nothing we can do about it. No, no. You made that call. You made a bad sleep in it.

So you listen out for that crying baby. Yes. Up next, I've got to kick off the show. You know we love to travel at the top of our shows, whether we go to Bulgaria, China. Well, there's a new travel trend. I need to get you and the rice cookers across. Okay.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I don't even know if this is what the youth are doing, but it's what the travel experts are saying the trend is going. Is it cruising? Oh, there you go. I love Babs sailing away. You know Babs loves a cruise.

With David Gray. God, I love David Gray. No one on the team knew that song except for me, which just shook me. Isn't it so funny just what takes up space in your brain? You go, did I make this song up? How does no one know? I first saw David Gray in the OC. That's where his songs came on.

Oh, very good. He wasn't on it. No, it was just the songs were. Very good. You're a big OC guy. Huge Marissa guy. When Marissa died. You were Devo.

When she shot Trey, lives rent free in my head forever. Well, you always go Seth and Summer. Like, you just always. Oh, yeah. I'm a huge Summer guy. Can I tell you a tidbit about the OC I learned? You're going to love this. I hope you don't know it.

Can I play David Gray in the background? You probably can, yes. Seth, what's that actor's name? Adrian Brody. Adam Brody. Adam Brody. Apparently the cast got so big for their boots. They were young when they were cast and the OC took off and exploded.

It was revolutionary as a show. It was. It exploded in popularity. All those actors were, I mean, Misha Barton was pretty known in Hollywood, but all those actors were relatively up and coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they got so big for their boots, Adam Brody in particular, that he'd keep rocking up to set high.

Really? Not having learned his lines. So can you confirm or deny, they wrote a sort of storyline in for Seth where he had a drug problem? Yeah, they did. Because the real Adam Brody was such a chuff head. Really? And he couldn't learn his lines, so they went, right,

we'll work it into the story, into the show. So now it's like he's just. To cover you up. They did do that. He went rogue for a while. Yeah, because they were. That's actually what was happening. They were all just rocking up being like, oh, whatever.

It's like, guys, you need to know your lines so we can actually keep producing this series. We can keep making this show. It got so ridiculous too. Exactly. Oh, wow. Because the actors just got so, they just fell off the tracks. And then they had to wrap it up and kill off Marissa and do all these things. And then when Marissa died, it never really recovered from that.

No, it didn't. It didn't. And now Adam Brody's back on the scene. He did that rom-com show that everyone fell in love with. Nobody wants this. But yeah, as a youth, naughty boy. There you go. Because he seems like such a normal, nice.

Seems like a bit of a straighty 180. Straighty 180. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Hollywood for these young ones. And Ryan, if anything, Ryan was a guy who was going to rock up on set drunk. And what became of him? What was that actor's name? What happened to that guy?

Benjamin? Yeah, well, that's a good get. Thank you. Benjamin Sump. I'm not going to get his last name. No, neither. I don't know what he did. He didn't go on to do much.

No. Anyway. He brought back in the choker necklace for a dude. Did he? Oh, yeah. Was it shells? Shell? I think it was choker.

Babs, you watch a bit of the OC. Was it shells or was it? I can't remember. Was it just a rope or something? I think it was just like a rope. I think he had a rope. But I used to, you know, rope and leather jacket. Did you walk away going, I want to be like Ryan?

I used to wear my chokers to school. Yeah, hell yeah. At your private Catholic boys school with your blazer. Oh, Jesus. Walking in puffing on a joint. Just rolling in hot and heavy. Don't care, man. I think that guy's been watching the OC.

I don't care, miss. I'm high ass. Play David Gray. This don't care, miss. I'm high ass. Play David Gray. This is me walking into school. I'm stoned, man. Y'all see that episode last night. I don't know why you feel American now. Let's go to Michigan right now.

I don't have the audio to get us to Michigan. I don't know. No, it's specific. It's very specific. If you start taking us to specific states with music, wow. That's just... I don't know if our system... That's another level

of button pushing, isn't it? You can just take us to America, I guess. America! We're here in Michigan. Go Gators! Because there's a crocodile. No, they have alligators. There's an alligator that's gotten out. Just said go, Gator.

I know. Sorry, I'm recovering. Yeah, a gator. You're still in the zone. I have Imogen here. I'm in Marissa's shooting tray of the OC. You found a rope necklace to get your best, what is it, Ryan on. Yeah, yeah.

We're doing a lot of niche OC references right now. Three people would be enjoying that. 0488881069, text us your favourite OC memory. No. Just because you guys didn't have any. Don't rain on my parade. Don't rain on my parade. I need someone else to piggyback on.

And you know who's cool? That show, Sandy Cohen, the dad. All he does is surf all day and lawyers people. Can I tell you? Are we still on the OC? that show? Sandy Cohen, the dad. All he does is surf all day. And lawyers, people. Can I tell you? Are we still on the OC? We are. Sandy Cohen. What's that actor's name?

Yeah. He's now in Grace and Frankie. Yes. He's really good. Yes. And hot. Is he? Yeah.

You reckon he's hot? Well, for like an older gentleman, he's still got all his hair. Yeah. He's got some sort of swagger and charisma, which I think everyone, that's why they had a hard-on for Sandy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just always surfing. He's so chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's got that, of swagger and charisma, which I think everyone, that's why they had a hard-on for Sandy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he just has- He's just always surfing.

He's so chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's got that, his wife's rich, so he's willing to have family money. Oh, okay. She was the breadwinner and he was just the boy toy. Anyway, can I get back onto the Shea Bogan police department? Not if you're going to keep calling them procto. Sorry, the alligators.

Sorry, sorry. Shall I go? It's having the worst show of his life. Has anyone texted us OC memories yet? I just messaged Babs on Teams. I said, this is not an OC

tribute show. Don't feed this. Babs is out there loving it. She is. She's doing, Babs told us she had an

interpretive dance to Imogen Heap on C. She did. I am sorry. She did. How have we just glossed past that?

I'm going to put this someone on. Hey, someone text. Mmm, what you say? Is that what they said? Someone text. It's such a track. Tanya said, I can hear electricity.

Is that from the O.C.? That's last week. So this is the song. And Babs reckons she didn't interpret it. Come in. It wasn't interpreted. How can you dance to this? I don't know.

It was contemporary. Did you't know. It was contemporary. Did you have a choreography? It was contemporary. Were you in front of your parents in the living room? Five, six, seven. Go. Go. Oh, my God.

So this was Babs. Anyway, this is the song. We listened to this entire thing off the air. Yes. Is that still the same song? Yeah. God, she goes through. She goes, man, it's a journey.

It's an emotional journey. It really is. Much like this game. Just give up. Excellent segway. That was one of the best segways we've had on the show. The three-foot alligator named Wally got stuck under a motel bed because his owner forgot about him.

Did he belong to the guy who ran the motel? No, he belonged to a guy who apparently had a license for exotic animals. And I don't know why he was staying at a motel. He was just a guest at the motel, brought Wally with him. So the owners rocked up to the motel with like emu, alligator and lizard and left with lizard and emu, but then left gator under the bed. Of the three creatures, gator is the one you should always have eyes on. Yeah, I would have thought so. Don't you think so? And then the cleaners went, holy hell, there's a three footator under the bed. Of the three creatures, Gator is the one you should always have eyes on. Yeah, I would have thought so. Don't you think so?

And then the cleaners went, holy hell, there's a three-foot alligator under the bed. And they called the police. The sheriff's department came, the Chabon police department. They rolled into the Pine Rivers Motel and they said, oh, that's just Wally. We know his owner. They call the owner.

And the owner says, I knew Wally was missing. I thought he just got out. So I thought that was it. You know when you're a parent and your kid won't come, so you go, I'm going to leave you here. That's what he did to Wally. He's like, get in the car, Wally. Would you say Wally was playing hide and seek?

Thank you. Have a good one. Shy Guy, how good was that chat? Mate, he wrapped that up in a neat little bow. You've got to pay that. Give me that. Give me that. Play that.

Yeah, 30 seconds. 10 questions all signed with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back to you if there is time. They're the rules. Today's play, it's the one and only.

We've got Jakey Boy. Hello, Jake. Hi, mate. How you going? Good. Jake. Jake. Jake.

Jake. Come on. Are you feeling good for a Monday, Jake? Ready to win 10 grand? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Let's get it done. Let's get it done. What are you up to on the weekend, Jake? Ready to win $10,000? Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Let's get it done.

Let's get it done. What do you have to do on the weekend, Jake? Ah, work. What do you do with yourself? I work in the mines. Okay. All right. So this will be good for you.

So it's been a big weekend. Yeah. But Jake is still up and early, up and at them, and ready to win $10,000. What do you want to spend the money on? Put it towards a nursery for our firstborn baby. When are you expecting? 9th of May. Oh, okay.

Very soon. Around the corner, Jake. Oh, God. Crib. Change table. Maybe some fun wallpaper. Jake, the letter you're going to work with today is the letter H. H for?

Happy. Happy. There he is. There you go. He's already in the zone. He's letter H. H for... Happy. Happy. There he is. There you go. He's already in the zone. He's in H zone. Yeah. Your time will start after the first question.

You ready to rock? Yep. All right. Starting with the letter H, we need you to name a source. HSV. A periodic element. Helium A male celebrity

You have no Something you read History A flower Pass A mode of transport Helicopter An animal

Horse A breakfast food Hotcakes An animated movie Pass A verb Hack Breakfast food. Hotcakes. An animated movie. Pass. A verb. Hat.

A flower. Jeez. God damn. You were a good player. Cool customer, wasn't he? Very good player. Got through all ten. We had eight with one question mark.

So the only question mark I had, I gave it. Some of you read history. Yeah, that is vague, isn't it? Because our examples here are physical things you would read. Like a handbook or, yeah. But I mean, you read history books. I mean, you can't not. Some of you do read it. I'm not happy to give it.

You got yourself eight there. Look, a flower could have been the hibiscus or the hydrangea. And then an animated movie, Happy Feet. Or How to Train Your Dragon. They were the only two you missed out on. Jake, you were excellent. Ah, thank you. Oh, mate, unlucky.

It's very close. You don't go away empty-handed. 100-year-old suspended. Skin control. That is all yours as well. Nah, little wife will like that. Absolutely. A little gift for you for a Monday, honey.

Nah, thank you. You guys have a good day. You too, Jakey. Great to chat, Absolutely. A little gift for you for a Monday, honey. Nah, thank you. You guys have a good day. You too, Jakey. Great to chat, mate. Always good to have you on. Good luck with the baby. It's always a good day when the Jake boy comes on. When Jake wakes up and decides,

today I will grace Jess and Ducco with my presence, we are grateful. Eternally so. Jess and Ducco. Yesterday, Chinese Grand Prix was on. It was a good time for us because we could watch it yesterday afternoon. Yes, my husband, we were doing some housework yesterday, but he just kept carrying his laptop around with his headphones on

because he just wanted to keep watching. Yeah, it was cool because Oscar Piastri, the Australian, we discussed him, of course, in the Melbourne Grand Prix. Remember in Melbourne, he was on track to come second or third. That's right, he spun out. Spun out in the rain and then ended up coming in the back. And it's his home city, which just felt like a bad omen. Yeah.

Like your home city rained on you and your wheels spun out. And we haven't had a winner in the F1 pretty much since the Ricciardo days for an Aussie. Now, I'm confused. Excuse to the F1 enthusiasts, maybe 13, 10, 60, if you know. I thought this was his very first Grand Prix win. Well, I feel like he's been on the scene for... He's done podiums.

He's had podiums. Yes, of course. But I thought it was his first F1 win. However, I feel like he's been on the scene for... He's done podiums. He's had podiums. Yes, of course. But I thought it was his first F1 win. However, reading up on it, it's starting to say... Where is this article from? Where have we gotten our source? Is this an ESPN? Is this a Fox News?

There's a few things. Hang on. Angus has just messaged me. He's won three. He's won three. Yeah, that's what it's really... Which is what this is saying, but we were like, what? I don't know why I was living under a rock.

I apologise to the F1 enthusiasts. Anyway, it's still very exciting for the Aussie. And it's exciting for us. He's young. McLaren, him and Lando Norris look good together. However, they're probably going to hate each other now because they're in the team. When you know that in F1, you're not really ever in a team with someone. No, I know.

It's like the Tour de France where you're meant to support the main rider, but you go, but I also am slogging and busting my ass. But this will be interesting because who's the main driver now? It's going to be good. Who are we supporting? However, I just wanted to, because Shago and I were texting yesterday, because I know Shago's a big rev head. He loves his F1.

Do you have a break from your lawn mowing? Yeah, I got him from the lawn mowing, and I texted Shago, I said, you watching the F1? I'm watching, let's hope Piastri wins. We're discussing it. And I said, I said the words, Piastri's a nerd. I love him. He's our nerd.

He's our nerd. Like an Australian. We're proud of our boy. But he's not the most charismatic human being. He's not like, Ricciardo was sellable. Absolutely. Ricciardo was marketable. And you look at the field now.

You've got the gorgeous Frenchman in Charles Leclerc. Yeah, yeah. You've got Lewis Hamilton. You've got Lewis Hamilton who's outspoken and just like a fan darling. Valkyrie Bottas has like a mullet and he lives in Australia and likes VB. You know I love Valtteri. You know I love him. There's some big personalities in the sport and Oscar is not one of them.

Is he young? Is he an Aussie? And Charles goes, no, I really like him. And then his post-race interview happened. This is him after winning the Grand Prix, right? You'd be ecstatic. You'd be so excited. You'd be covered in champagne. Yeah, and this is him after winning the Grand Prix, right? You'd be ecstatic. You'd be so excited. You'd be covered in champagne.

Yeah, and this is him. Is this the start of your title campaign? I hope so. No, it's been an incredible weekend from start to finish. The car's been pretty mega the whole time. I think today was a bit of a surprise with how different the tyres behaved. But, no, super, yeah, just proud of the whole weekend. This is, you know, what I feel like I deserved from last week.

So, no, extremely happy the team did a mega job. Extremely happy. He's just won. He's just won, yeah, yeah. He's just won. He's third Grand Prix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Young, new to the family.

Second race of the season. Extremely happy. Obviously, he's cool, calm and collected, which is probably what makes him an elite driver. And you know what? If he carried on, would we come on today being like, what a flop? No, but even after when they do the radio mic in the car,

they're like, well done, Oscar, you won. He's like, yep, wonderful weekend. Anyway, he tried to do a joke because, I'll play the audio and we'll discuss it. Yesterday, your joke being 116th Chinese. Anything to say to your home crowd? Thank you. It's not a joke, by the way.

I do have Chinese heritage somewhere. But no, thanks for the support. The crowd's been exceptional this week. There's a few too many Lewis Hamilton fans, but that's okay. We'll convert some of you next year. So thanks for coming out. I know he's trying to do geeky, but it's too dry. It's too dry?

Lewis Hamilton would be there like, are you actually throwing shade at me? I can't tell. And also, all the big wigs, don't go Lewis. Because there were so many Chinese supporters for Lewis and Ferrari. Of course, of course. And apparently he's got some Chinese heritage. That's why he's like, no, actually, I'll stop you, man.

It's not a joke. I do have it. It's like, I'm one 32nd Brazilian. I'll get it, Oscar. It's a great gag to lean into's like, no, actually, I'll stop you there, mate. It's not a joke. I do have it. It's like, I'm one 32nd Brazilian. I'll get it, Oscar. It's a great gag to lean into. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know who it reminds me of? Who does it remind you of?

You said a member of the team. I can't imagine it's me. It's not you. It's certainly not Babs. It's certainly not interpretive dancer Babs. Who's the person who doesn't get excited at anything we do? Even when you bat up a field that is so him, he will just leave you on read. Like, he is just.

He's just. He's mellow. He's cool. In fact, I have a list of shy guys. We've cut some audio. This is a shy guy when we've asked him really exciting things, whether, you know, he got a new water bottle. Yeah.

It's his birthday. What he's done on the weekend. This is how excited the shy guy gets. Um, yep. It's a pretty good bottle. It's a good day. I didn't, I didn't do anything. But I actually don't know what gets me excited.

Can you hear? When you hear Oscar, we were watching him yesterday. Were you like, my brother, like my kindred spirit? That's why I like him so much, because we're alike. Yes. We just don't care. You don't speak on behalf of Oscar. It's just, I will. It's about getting the job done. You get the job done, that's it. But don't speak on behalf of Oscar. It's just... I will.

It's about getting the job done. You get the job done, that's it. But don't be happy you got the job done. Oh, I'd never be happy. To the best degree you could have. Absolutely not. It's just, it's now done. It's fine.

It's fine. Don't overthink it. Don't ever overthink it. Can we try and get Oscar Piastri for an interview? Or is it going to be too met up? If we get Oscar for an interview, it's just Shy Guy and him chatting. We're just going to get him and Shy Guy chatting. I would love that. What would be the first question you ask Oscar Piazzeri

if we go for an interview? Reigning F1 champion. Superstar. Probably F1 related. Like, where was your first race? Yep. Yep, it's a pretty good bottle. I don't know. Maybe give me less than five seconds.

I just wanted to get the rice cookers across the realities that you and I are facing. You know, everyone thinks, oh, that radio life must be so glamorous. Nah, it's not. There are two people in our lives that are keeping us firmly feet on the ground, and I don't mean shy guy and babs. Two people in our own homes. Yeah. You and I had an event on Friday night.

I said, I'll come pick you up, duck man. So you jumped in the car. Yep. Beep, beep. And I said, first thing, and I usually like to compliment you, I like your app. I was like, you look great. What did you say to me your wife had let you out the door with? Because I was wearing jeans and a linen button-up.

And I forgot to, I hadn't shaved my beard, and I hadn't trimmed my moustache, and my moustache was getting a little bit wiry. There was a bit on. Big grizzly. Big grizzly. And I said to Morgan, oh, geez, what do you think? Do you think it's okay? And Morgan said, oh, it doesn't look great, but I think you can get away with it.

That was what she said to me. You don't look great, but I think you can get away with it. As you were walking out the door to emcee an event, it's not like you were just a guest. You're going to have 400 sets of eyeballs on you. Yeah. Thanks, honey. And I went, brother, I'm feeling you. As I'd left the house that afternoon, shy guy, I came out of the bedroom, had gotten

ready. Angus was getting the baby sorted for dinner. And he looked me up and down and went, oh, that's a bit boring, that outfit. To be fair, you do wear a lot of loud colours. Yeah, it was all black. It was different from you. But, like, it didn't look boring. It looked nice.

Thank you, Darko. I haven't seen what you wore. I thought I looked quite classy. As I said, we were emceeing a corporate event, so I obviously wanted to be below the knee. Now, granted, it is a dress that I have earmarked for funerals. But Angus didn't know that. And to walk out. This is my funeral attire. It is a dress that I have earmarked for funerals. But Angus didn't know that. This is my funeral attire.

Babs, how would you feel? You come out. You're about to do a big event. You're emceeing. You're hosting. The love of your life goes. You look a bit boring. I would go, well, stuff you then.

Are you eating toast right now? Are you? Oh, God, stop. She didn't know I was going to talk to her. I wasn't trying to chew really hard. Oh, God, stop. You're in there. She did have I was going to I wasn't trying to chew really hard. Oh, God, stop. She did have a little I saw the panic in her eyes.

Yeah, you two just a couple of peas in a pot over there. To be fair, I often have food in my mouth. That probably was

the case when Angus gave me that. But if you knew it was funeral attire, isn't boring funeral slash corporate.

Wouldn't you say they go hand in hand? Death and corporate. It's the same thing. We didn't know. Wouldn't you say they go hand in hand? Death and corporate. It's the same thing. We didn't know. It's, you know, below the knee, high neck. I was there with my, like, grown-up Wari moustache and facial hair. But these are the two loves of our lives who are meant to uplift us,

make us feel as best as we can as we're about to go, you know, do a job with lots of people and for a brand that we both love. But I just thought, wow, that's what we're up against in our everyday lives. Nothing knocks your confidence more than when you're about to get on a mic and someone says something about your appearance. Absolutely. It's not fantastic. No, you look boring.

Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot. Jess and Ducco. Try Guys is going to bat up a topic. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang Biddy, bang, bang Biddy, bang, bang Biddy, bang, bang Shy Guy's going to bat up a topic. Ducco and I are going to bid on how many things within that topic we think we can rattle off in a 20-second time frame. Yeah, yeah.

We've been playing it safe up until now, brother. Oh, yeah. I think we let the shackles off today. I'll be unleashing it. Oh, I think we unleash. Release the kraken. Let's go hard. Okay.

Well, it depends on the topics. You're absolutely right. If we get in Hathaway movies, I'm doomed. We could only say three. Pardon us. Two of those were The Princess Diaries 1 and 2. Yeah. Princess Diaries?

What's that movie? Is it Princess Diaries? I think it's Princess Diaries. What have you got for us this week, Mr Guy? First category is items you'd find in a pencil case. Ooh. Because technically you can have anything in there. I know.

You don't know how I was in year 10. What was in my pencil case. And we only have 20 seconds on the timer. So how many do you reckon you can rattle off in 20? Nine. Ooh. Fourteen. Oh, my goodness.

He's gone hard. I said to unleash. You wanted to go big. I did. So now I feel like a little. You've Oh, my goodness. He's gone hard. I said to unleash. Yeah. You wanted to go big. I did. So now I feel like a little. You've got to go big. Nah, you're going to have to do it.

Oh, that's annoying. So to get the point, I then have to rattle off one thing you don't. Yeah. 14. Can you count on your hands, Shagga, so I can see how many I've got in this time? Sure. Okay. Here we go.

Rubber. Highlighter. Tampon. Pencil. Red pen. Blue pen here we go. Rubber, highlighter, tampon, pencil, red pen, blue pen, black pen, stapler, glue, a spare thing of glue, a hole punch, coins. How many did I get? Eleven. Jeez. That was very close.

Twelve if I count coins. It was after the buzzer. I thought you were going to just go green highlighter, yellow highlighter, orange. You should have done that. I call this the billow colour. Damn it. What I will say is protractor. Yay.

I haven't used a protractor in such a long time. I've not thought about a protractor until this very moment. Is a protractor what you do to do a perfect circle? I believe so. What's a protractor? Isn't that the circumference of it? Yeah. Let's not sound dumber than we are.

Whatever, I just remember in primary school, my mum had to buy me a protractor. Yeah, I remember protractors. But it's a valiant effort. It's a two-prong thing, isn't it? Yes, that's right. No, hang on. Isn't it the semi-circle thing? You can measure the right angle?

We're thinking of compass. We're thinking of compass. We're thinking of compass. Oh, okay. But both. Babs has used a protractor recently, obviously. Most recently. Most recently out of school. Do you still use protractors when you were at school?

Yeah, all the time. You could do angles and stuff. So when you weren't learning your line dance, you were doing protractors? I was using a protractor. Or you weren't doing the do-si-do. You were doing a protractor. Swing your partner around and around. All right, next one.

Yeah, what do you got? Australian celebrities. Ooh. That's hard because there's obviously so many, but where's my brain going to go when I have 20 seconds? And 20 seconds is not long. It's not long. I'm going to go 11.

Oh! 12. 13. Okay. I'll let you see it. I'm going to go 11th. Oh, 12th. 13th. Okay. I'll let you see it. Okay. Hugh Jackman, Margot Robbie, Kylie Minogue, Delta Goodrum, Guy Sebastian, Shannon Knoll.

Will you accept Cosima DeVita? Dico, Marsha Hines, Amy Shark. Is she Australian? Jess Mowboy. Yeah, Marsha. Jess Mowboy. Isaiah Fires. Isn't Marsha Hines, Amy Shark, Jess Malboy. Yeah, Marsha. Jess Malboy. Isaiah Fires. Isn't Marsha British?

Marsha Hines? No. Marsha Hines is Australian. She was a judge on Australian Idol. I don't think she's Australian. Shut up. That's bloke. She's American.

American. I'm trying to find a... Why did my brain go to Australian Idol? American-born Australian singer. Hang on. American-born Australian? And Dicko's British. I'm trying to find a Why did my brain go to Australian idols? American born Australian singer Hang on American born Australian? And Dicko's British

Anyway She was born in Massachusetts Boston But what's her passport? But also I didn't get I don't know I haven't got a passport on me

So you didn't say Nicky Webster Oh my I had all four strawberry kisses baby I know I know You're right Where your brain goes Yeah yeah yeah I went from Australian idols I had all four. Strawberry kisses, baby. I know. I know.

You're right. Where your brain goes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went from Australian idols to Eurovision contestants. It's been very strange. So weird. It's half of that time is up. God, you can't write about this. Tiebreaker.

Tiebreaker. Here we go, Shaga. Adam Sandler movie. Oh. Oh, goodness me. Better than Anne Hathaway. Well done. Jeez. But once again, I'm like blocking. Anne Hathaway. Well done. Jeez.

But once again, I'm, like, blocking. You know what I mean? Yep. Six. That's pretty low. Eight. I reckon I go nine. You're going to have to do nine.

Okay. Nine. Adam Sandler moves up. Count for going to have to do nine. Okay. Nine. Adam Sandler moves up. Count for it. Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Little Nicky, Grown Ups 1, Grown Ups 2. Damn it. Click. Oh, 51st date.

Yeah. Dodge the one, the throwing one. Longest yard. Oh, you were one off, the throwing one. Long as you are. Oh. Oh, you were one off. Oh. Damn this. It wasn't easy.

It wasn't easy. And you didn't say. Yeah. Jack and Jill. Uncut gems. What? There's, oh, damn. And what's that one?

Big Daddy. The one with Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It. Just Go With It. Oh, and the other one with Jennifer Aniston. Oh, Murder Mystery. Just Go With It. I wouldn't know. Murder Mystery. Murder Mystery, that's what I was thinking. I was close. Click, though. Well done. And Click is a great film.

With Sophie Monk, another Australian celebrity I did not say. Jess and Ducko. Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco homes. Ducko's Baby Registry. Ducko was left in Ducko's baby registry. Ducko was left in charge of his baby registry. And when we and his wife Morgan had a look, we all went, why you put that on there? Why you put that on there?

So we've taken it all off him. Yeah. With the intention of giving it to you, darling rice cookers. Which is annoying because now some things are really handy and it's too late. I've already given it away. That's right. When we saw the PlayStation, the flat screen TV, we went, no, no, no, no.

What have you done here? Yeah. A $1,000 Bunnings voucher you may have been able to put to good use, but we take one, we take it all. Yeah. So you had to listen out to that crying baby. Could have played anywhere. Any time throughout the show.

Played just after we finished that conversation earlier with Biddy Biddy Bang Bang. Plenty of great prizes happening as well this week. All thanks to Baxco Homes. Customise your dream family home with award-winning Baxco Homes. But yes, you had to listen for the crying baby, much like Chloe did. Hello, Chloe. Hello. Chloe, you've got $1,000 to spend at Bunnings.

Woo! Can you tell us a bit about your family? What will this money go towards? So my son is two on Friday and hubby would love to build him his first cubby house. Oh, cute. That's wonderful. He's going to DIY. Is your partner a builder?

Does he have this, you know, this in him? He's a man of many trades. Okay. All right. Well, I might need him to help build my future child's cubby house. That's a bit of fun. So I'll give you this thousand for hubby, Chloe, but he's going to return the favour and build my cubby house, okay's a bit of fun. So I'll give you this thousand for hubby Chloe, but he's going to return the favour and build my cubby house, okay?

Yeah, righto, we can do that. And I can see here you've told Babs you're expecting a second. Yeah. So a lot of memories to be made in the backyard with the kids together. For sure, yeah, very exciting. Well, you enjoy it, okay? You enjoy the $1,000 to spend at Bunnies. Thank you.

You're welcome. You're welcome. And congratulations to you, very exciting. Well, you enjoy it, okay? You enjoy the $1,000 to spend at Bunnies. That's all you... Ah, you're welcome. You're welcome. That's what I want. And congratulations to you, Doc Owen. All the best. Thank you so much. Looking forward to it. It's the best.

I can't explain it until you become a parent. It's the best feeling. It's exciting. We'll circle back in a couple of weeks, Chloe. You'll get it. You'll be like, I get what Chloe was talking about. Tomorrow, though, this is... I would have thought this was, you know, great for the list, but

we have a Ninja Creamy and a Ninja Slushie Maker. Hang on a minute. That's fantastic. Ice Cream Maker and Slushie Machine. Oh, God. They're hard to get. They are hard to get. I see on Facebook groups, people are like, is this in stock?

Oh, my God. So we have our hands on both of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tomorrow. I have the Ninja Blender. You know that. Yes. That thing is great.

I think I've got that, too. You guys got me that for my birthday. It's the one that you. You know that. Yes. I think it's great. I think I've got that too. You guys got me that for my birthday. It's the one that you flip it upside down. It's got the blade. I mean, that just sounds like a blender. Can do soups. What you describe that? Well, no, it's the one, you know, a blender would be like the jug, but the fruit, the

Ninja is where you... Oh, the jugs. Yeah, you put it... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know my appliances. Jess and Ducco. Are you dumb? Dumb.

This is a safe space with which to share something that's happened recently or from your past you can't shake. Mm-hmm. And we could reward you with an epic Hall of Fame prize come Friday. Me no dumb dumb, you dumb dumb. You bring me gum gum. Are you dumb? Are you dumb?

Are you dumb? Part two. Part two. We did this part one. I can't remember why we did part one. I think it was just something that happened to one of us. Maybe possibly. But there's been an actual study done,

and the study has shown that human beings are getting dumber. What are we blaming, Ducko? The tech? Feels like we can blame the iPhone. COVID and the tech. Oh, COVID is where? An analysis. Yeah, an analysis.

Sorry, there I am. Looked at Europe's Organization for Economic. Hello. Hello, I'm dumb. Economic Cooperation and Development, also known as the OECD. Oh, of course. Which looks at skills mainly in 15-year-olds worldwide. The assessment came back showing declines in attention spans, mainly, problem-solving skills and numeracy.

And they are all fundamental skills. Yep. We need those to function, to progress, to be successful. It wasn't just the youth, though. The adults were declining as well. More 18-year-olds are having a hard time concentrating, thinking of learning and grasping new concepts. The data coincides with the rise in popularity of smartphones

and social media. TikTok, man. It'll be the death of us. And AI chat GPT. So when we're asking chat GPT to do something for us now. Write our essays. Exactly. Write our bloody speeches.

Do whatever we want. It's leaving our minds so unprepared and not actually going through anything, not learning that it's deteriorating our cognitive facilities. It's terrifying. That's really bad, isn't it? As someone who was expecting a child, I've got a one-year-old. You just look at the way the world's going. Yeah.

It's terrifying. Yeah, it's horrific. Because we'd be dumb. We'd be dumb. So begs the question on 13th and 16th, are you dumb? Now, don't come and tell me that you've got problems with problem solving and, you know, that sort of thing. We need to know.

Like, work out who you're calling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me set the scene for you. Okay. I had an incident just this weekend, Ducker. You know we are a big open-door policy. I love to have a fresh breeze at all times. But Saturday, it might have been Saturday night,

I'm not even exaggerating, 25 flies in the house and just the constant buzz. And I went, right, and I'm not adept at the tea towel. My husband, that's his job and he's working. He can get these things mid-air. It's unbelievable. What I like to do is trap them because I can use a bigger vessel with which to trap them and then I release them.

It also feels more humane. But what I was... They'll just come back inside. Well, then I would close the door. I knew that part. But what I was struggling with is I chose a Tupperware container. I would get it up against the window, but then having to slide the lid of the Tupperware underneath to then capture the fly within the Tupperware.

Probably in there. I'm having to lift the Tupperware so far off the windowsill. The flies were just escaping. It's just leaving again. I was doing it. I swear to you, for 45 minutes. Next one, I'll get it. I couldn't get one single freaking fly before my brain went, hey sis, how about

you get a piece of paper? Yeah, come on. And we can slide in as opposed to having to lift the whole freaking thing off. But you keep thinking you can grasp it. I kept thinking these flies are stupid. I'll be able to get it. Just get into the corner of my container. You're outsmarted by flies.

I was outsmarted by flies. I went to university. Yeah. I'm a home. You know, all these things that you think, oh, I've got my head screwed on. Yeah. And in that moment, you think, if I'm living in the Truman Show and someone is watching this, very embarrassing for me.

Very stupid. Are you dumb? Dumb, dumb, you dumb, dumb. Sorry to talk over the Easter Island head. Yeah, very dumb. Talk to me. So it's bin day in our house. It was last night, right?

Taking the bins out. Now, every time we have, like, our car's parked over the driveway, right? So then we have to take it up the grass and then over sort of a gutter to get it off the... Sure. Every time I've done that, it has not worked out well because the lip of the gutter catches and the bin usually falls. Oh, no. I'm double wielding with the bins.

If you're full, see you later, rubbish. So I get two bins. I run. I give myself a run up. I run up the grass. You're like, I'm cold. I'm going to do this as fast as possible. Morgan has witnessed me doing this now for some weeks and it hasn't worked.

And she's like, how about you take it one at a time and have two hands on it? I was like, nah, watch this. I got it. I got it. Stuff you, Morgan. The issue is I've got to get more speed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I did.

Green bin fell everywhere. Boxes all over the road. And as you say, something you do every week. I'm not getting smarter. It's like when I pour pasta out to drain the pasta, I do it with such ferocity that the boiling water splashes me up in the face every time. How about I learn?

Slow down. When I get my steamed veggies out of the microwave in my glass Tupperware. Every time. Every time. Every time. I do it. Why don't I do it? We don't learn. Social media has ruined us. You know who's dumb?

Jogger. Mr. Guy. What do you got for us? Well, this happened to me recently. I had to change my password to something, but when I changed it, it said you've already used this password. Oh, yeah.

So I couldn't use it, and then I realized it was the same password that I tried to change it to That's the dumbest story I've ever heard Hey, that's what you wanted No, I always have that I just make my password the same 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4

And it's annoying when they go You cannot use a password you've already entered But you denied my I can remember until I had to redo it I haven't used this yet, but I did You'd already used it I'm nervous to ask back I was like, oh, I haven't used this yet, but I did. You'd already used it. Me no dum-dum, you dum-dum. You bring me gum-gum.

I'm nervous to ask Babs. Because last time we asked her. I'm not dumb. We have it on the record. I don't have dumb thoughts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If anyone's going to have been ruined by technology, it's the youngest of the team.

So true. Because she grew up with TikTok in her hand. Brain smash potatoes. What have you got for us, Babs? The other day I was driving and Jethro, my boyfriend, was in the passenger seat and he told me to turn right so I confidently turned left and then got lost in the suburb I live in. Yes!

You might be the dumbest of us all. Yes! How good. Perfect, guys. That's what we look for. 13, 10, 60. When I go drive with you, though, Jess, and I know you don't know your left and rights,

I have to be like, I point, I go left. Duggo has driven enough times. Can you do the L? Yeah, yeah. Duggo, yeah, I don't. Sometimes. Oh, you're left this way, Jess. This way, yeah.

Maybe I'm dyslexic too. I don't know where my L goes. I know my left and rights. 13, 10, 60. How dumb are you? Give us a call, you know. Are you as dumb as Babs? Jess and Duggo? Jess and Ducko.

Jess and Ducko. Me no dumb dumb, you dumb dumb. You bring me gum gum. Are you dumb? Are you dumb? Part two. Yeah. Last year when we did this, gosh, it might have been about 12 months ago.

Yeah, it could have been. We had some of the greatest contributions. One so much that it became our collective noun. So let's see. Well, you can't rise without a rise cook, can you? Rhys, good morning to you. Let's see what comes out of today's edition, Ducker. Yeah, there's been a bunch of new studies done,

mainly on teenagers and kids, and it's just showing the decline in their attention spans, problem solvings, all that sort of stuff. Also, COVID played a part in it, but AI is the big one. AI is making our brains essentially rot because we're getting it to do things for us and we're not challenging ourselves and we can't concentrate on anything anymore.

It's not great. It's not good. But at least we can feel like we're in it together. Yep. You know, Jess has texted through, 0488881069, Ducko. She said, when I was younger, I wanted to crush a chocolate bar. She doesn't go into why. She just wanted to smash up a chocolate bar.

Yeah. So my mum said, put it in a bag, obviously meaning the chocolate bar, but she just wanted to put the hammer in a bag and waited for something to happen. Thanks, Jessica. Put the hammer in a bag. Debbie's called in on 131060, Deb. Are you done?

I think I am after this story. Okay. It was technology got me i was using my telephone my mobile and i was talking to my girlfriend and we're all engrossed in planning a night out and all the rest of it and i said oh hang on a minute i'll just check my diary and see if i'm free and i proceeded to look all through the house for my phone because i used my electronic diary on my phone and i was very cross because I couldn't find my phone and then I had it in my hand.

Yes, talking to your girlfriend. Oh, no. Oh, Debbie. Welcome to the Dumb Club. They're going to be the end of it. They will be. Thank you, Debbie. You are in our Dumb Club.

Chris, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, good. Now, this is dangerous territory, Chris. Are you telling me your partner's done? Well, here we go. Yeah, I'm just hopefully she's not listening.

There's a cleaning product on the market that you get, and it's in kind of like a wine-casty box. In a what, sorry? Like a wine-cast box. Oh, wine. Yes, understood. Yep. She proceeded to spend about half an hour trying to open the thing

and then spilled it everywhere because she'd cut the top of it open to try and pour into the bottle. And when I got home, I showed her that it had a spout down the bottom that you could pour it out of, and she lost it. She's looking at the wrong end. Oh, no. And you've just come home with one quick fix. Yes.

Oh, that's funny. That really calmed the situation down. Chris just sweeping and being able to do it straight away. Kiana on 131060, are you dumb? Yes, I think I am. What have you done? So I was on the phone to mum one day and asked her, how do I tell if my eggs are off?

And she said, just place them in a glass of water and if they float, they're off. So I did that. And then I said, right, how do I get it out? And she said, just place them in a glass of water and if they float, they're off. So I did that. And then I said, right, how do I get it out? And she said, what do you mean? I said, well, it's in the glass of water, but I'd wrapped it in the glass of water. Cool. So just get a spoon and scoop it out of the glass. Grab that one out of there.

Be more specific, Mum. And Rod on 131060. Rod, are you dumb? I am, Mum. And Rod on 131060. Rod, are you dumb? I am, guys. How are you this morning? Great. We are fantastic. How dumb are you?

What have you done? Well, it took me 37 years for anybody to actually pull me up straight on this or for me to actually work it out. But I was making lunch for school kids one morning and I contacted the other half and said, where's the fresh bread for sandwich lunches for the kids? And she's gone into the cupboard and I said, no, that's the toast bread, not the sandwich bread.

Who was many years ago used to have bread and used to have toast bread and sandwich bread, but I didn't realise that the only difference was the thickness of the cup. Yes, it's been 37 years, Rod. of toast bread and sandwich bread, but I didn't realise that the only difference was the thickness of the cup. Yes! It's been 37 years, Rod. Yeah, 37 years.

I was always buying two loaves of bread. Wow. So when you would go to the shops, would you always buy two loaves of bread? One was for toast, one was for sandwich. 100%. Two loaves of bread. I even told my kids, no, no, no, no, no, that's the one you use for the toast guys for breakfast. That's so funny.

You crazy kids using sandwich bread for toast. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on Hit. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure, just say pass.

We come back if there's time. No cheating or help in the background that we can hear. But hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. I know why this person's got through. Wow. Well, well, well. I'm sure she just charmed sweet Babs when she called through.

Because Babs' real name is Billy, and on 131060, we've got Billy. Hello, Billy. Hi, how are you? I didn't even know that. Oh, did you not know Babs' real name? Why didn't I? I don't know. No, I mean, why would you?

Why would you? We never really refer to her as Billy, unless you were here for the genesis of the nickname Badass Billy, B-A-B, Babs. That's where it came from. That's where it came from. Yeah. Oh, that's pretty cool. There you go.

She's a badass, man. Absolutely. Billie, are you a badass as well? I hope so. After answering all these questions right, maybe I'll call myself Babs. Do you normally go okay in the car? Because lots of people tell us they do, then they hear the timer and they crumble. Oh, look, yeah,

I do. I do go okay, but yeah, it's a bit more nerve-wracking when you're actually doing it. Yeah. Alright, well, take your zone, take your headspace, as though it is just you in the car, playing along as any other day. We're just voices coming through your radio.

What do you want to spend 10 grand on? I would love to take my 75-year-old dad overseas. He's never, ever been. And he's been such an amazing father. So I would just love that. Oh, well, that's very sweet. This is a great omen for today, Billy. The letter you are going to work with,

what stands between you and taking dad overseas, maybe to Brazil, maybe to Belgium, maybe to Bhutan. You're going to work with the letter B. B for Billy. There better be a country. All right. Are you ready to rock? Ready to rock and roll.

Okay, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Okay. Starting with the letter B, we need you to name. An occupation. Paris. A fashion brand. Valencia.

A country. Brazil. A type of cheese. Pass. Something that stings you. B. A country. Brazil. A type of cheese. Pass. Something that stings you. B. A verb. Brave.

A music artist. A three-letter word. B. Something you wear. C. A phone app. Phone app out of time there. I had us down for seven in my books. Looking all good to you over there, Jess?

Verb. Yeah, verb. I didn't give verb. So it would have been eight with verb. So what did you say for verb? You said brave. Brave? That's an adjective. Yeah, brave. It could would have been eight with verb. So what did you say for verb? You said brave. Brave? That's an adjective.

Yeah, brave. It could have been babble or brighten. That would have got you eight out of ten, though. You still got through all the questions. Type of cheese. Could have been brie. We missed out on that one. Oh, one of the big ones.

A huge one. Probably the biggest of the cheeses. Oh, cheddar might have something to say about that. Oh, actually, so true. A phone app could have been Bumble or the Bomb. You got Bomb. Oh, would have loved you if have been Bumble or The Bomb. You got Bomb? Would have loved you if I said The Bureau. The Bureau.

Look, Billy, you played well. You don't go away empty-handed. 100-year-old suspended. Skin control. That's all yours. Thank you so much.

Thank you. And can I say, I don't think anyone has ever gone classical for music artists, but Billy with Beethoven. What a great response. I'm so cultured.

You're so cultured. That's why we love you on this show. You are a badass, Billy. You can walk away with your hair out. This is nice culture, Billy. This is culture, yeah. With her Beethoven and her Balenciaga. Have a great Monday.

Thanks for calling in. All right, kids. Thank you. Thanks, Billy. Tell your dad we said hello. Yeah, tell him. Jess and Ducko. Has fast food, I'll take any of the chains, played a role in your romance,

played a role in your love story. On Saturday I had the privilege of attending a wedding to do a video guest book. I do some work for a company called Wedding Chats, and I was booked to go do the guests and interview the family members, the friends, the loved ones of a couple out in the Hunter Valley. But part of my role is to go and enjoy the ceremony, just to get a good sense of the couple and not come in as a complete stranger. You get a sense of the love story that's brought us here.

The couple had been together a decade already, all right, and the celebrant was sharing how they met, of course, how they first connected. And she was saying that the bride, now you remember 10 years ago, no such thing as Uber Eats, no such thing as Deliveroo, Menulog, anything like that. Yeah, old school. One Sunday morning, she is spectacularly hungover, okay?

She's really nursing quite a bit of pain. Yeah. And the bride's sitting there thinking, God, I could smash some dirty bird. Oh, yeah. I want KFC. It's okay to eat KFC. That's her hangover meal of choice.

We've all got our poison. It's going to be the most popular hangover meal of choice. People froth KFC. And now this day and age, if you wake up on a Sunday morning and you want some dirty bird, okay, yeah, you could ask your wife to go get it for you or you could just Uber Eats it. You don't have to disturb anyone. But 10 years ago, it didn't have that luxury. She's single at the time.

So she thinks- I'll meet my man in KFC. You know what I'll do? Swipe on the apps. No way. I'm pretty sure they said they were on plenty of fish. So not even Tinder or your Bumble. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think Tinder's been around that long, but plenty of fish was their app of choice. And she went in with a mission. I'm going to swipe until I find a bloke who looks like he'd go get me some KFC. So apparently she spent Sunday morning. A guy with a fish and hive is, he's getting me KFC. Well, our groom, gorgeous young guy, bearded, you know, he just looked like a knockabout larrikin. He'd like a bit of Dirty Bird.

True blue Aussie, looked like he looked like a bit of a dirty bird. True blue Aussie, looked like he'd like a bit of dirty bird. And she found him, swiped, started a bit of chit-chat, and went, hey, you want to come over? One condition, can you please bring me a Zinger burger meal and a large Coke? I think 95% of males would go, yep, all right. You mean all I need to do is get a Zingerberger and I'm in? That's easy.

You know what he did? He bloody brought that KFC over, moved in three months later, 10 years down the line, they're getting married. Did someone say KFC? I don't care. And I just love that KFC now is the start. It's their love story. It's the genesis of their love story. The Zinger Burger created them.

Now every time they go to KFC, they're going to think of it. Absolutely. I really hope. I didn't stay for the wedding, obviously. I did my thing in the cocktail hour. But I hope they had their 10pm or late night snack and Zinger Burgers were brought through. Maybe some popcorn chicken, whatever it might have been.

That's got to have been the easiest thing for a guy ever. You're telling me I'm going to get some KFC and I'm in. And I'm in. And I'm in. And that's the thing. Obviously, in the ceremony, they didn't go into what happened the rest of that day. But she got her KFC. Hey, it worked out. And they actually connected.

Maybe he was a gentleman. He got her a large. You know what? I'm sure he seemed like an absolute beautiful soul. So I'm sure he just brought the KFC. They had a nice chat and realized, I think we might be soulmates. Yeah, absolutely. So I just wanted to know, anyone else have got KFC, Red Roost,

our friends at Macca's? Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I'd love to hear an Aporto story. I don't like Aporto. Are you joking? It is the worst. Frego sauce is the best sauce on the market. Hang on, hang on.

Aporto's the poor man's Nando's. Give me a Bondi wrapper. You take Nando's any day of the week over a porto. I do like Nando's. Yeah, yeah. Nando's isn't as available as a porto. It's not. It's really not thriving. You're right, but the Bondi wrapper. There's a time and place for the Bondi wrapper. Every time I get a porto,

I'm disappointed. Oh, no. Every single time. Well, it's not going to be a part of your love story. No, it won't be. But hey, and also people who we know have plenty of drive-thru births, you know. You're absolute. Where you met the love of your life, your kid, because you're pushed out. Oh, in the Maccas drive-thru. However you've interpreted the question.

Guzman as well. We know Babs has plenty of Guzman love stories. Oh my God. That's how she and Jethro stay connected. Is that right, Babs? By just driving through and. Yeah, we just ate Guzman all the time. Yeah.

They do the thing, you know, in the old school diners where you'd have a milkshake and two straws? They just wrap their arms around each other with a burrito. Lady in the trance style. You have mine, I have yours. 13, 10, 60. Fast food playing a role in your love story. What have you got for us? We're talking fast food and love stories.

That's right. The opposite, I guess, of that Selena song. Don't call me when you break up. I need you to call me when you've realised I'm the love of your life. Over a Big Mac. Over a Big Mac. Yours, your love story wasn't fast food as such, but it was party pies. Bro.

Yeah. You're so right. Herbert Adams holds a very special place in my heart. The most obscure party pie reference anyone will ever hear. Hey, man, if you know Herbert Adams, you know they are the superior party pie on the market. But pie is my after big night meal of choice. I love a pie. Everyone always likes a kebab, but pie is great.

And that's how Angus got him. He said, I've got bloody pies in my freezer. You can hear Angus laughing in the background of that. But yes. But yeah, you're absolutely right. Fast food technically did play a role. And he had the good ketchup. It was unbelievable.

Yeah. In the glass bottle. But I did a video guest book for a couple over the weekend. At their wedding, 10 years they've been together, and the story was that our bride was spectacularly hung over on a Sunday morning, granted this before Uber Eats existed, and she started swiping of plenty of fish, looking for a guy. She thought, he'll bring me some KFC.

I am desperate for some Dirty Bird. Surely she'd have to look at the guy because they ended up marrying and have to be attracted as well. It can't just be like, eh, he's average, but he'll get me KFC. I like his personality. Because you're inviting them to come over. So there had to have been a level of attraction. You're absolutely right. Yeah, yeah.

And how kind to put that into the story. She obviously thought he was hot and would bring her Dirty Bird. Yeah, totally, yeah. Ten years later, they were getting married, starting a family. It's just such a beautiful, I just love that little tidbit, KFC playing a role in their romance. We go to Steve from 131060. Steve, has fast food played a role in your love story?

Hey, guys. Yeah, sure. I've been normally married for 30 years, and my wife now and girlfriend at the time came from Dubbo and she came over to Newcastle Uni and we hit it off. And I went back to Dubbo to basically propose to her and we asked the father's permission. And yeah, and she picked out the ring with me and all that sort of gear and she knew everything about it. So I thought, how can I sort of surprise her without her knowing what's going on? So we went and got some KFC. We sat down near the river at Dubbo and I popped the ring over to her while we were

eating our KFC at the river. And you got your popcorn chicken. Did you hide it in the popcorn chicken stick? Yeah popcorn chicken. Did you hide in the popcorn chicken? Yeah, did you pierce it into a popcorn chicken? Yeah, she said yes, and we've had three wonderful children. There you go. Do you remember the meal you ordered from KFC? Because surely that's your meal now.

It's your lover's meal. Oh, gee, I don't know. It was probably a chicken schnitzel burger. Who knows? I don't know. It was a long time ago. The danger is getting food involved with the ring. Like the way I eat, I would just eat the ring.

You'd swallow it. And then we'd wait for you to poo it out like a dog when they take something. Angus would be following you around. Come on, Jess. Come on. Oh, not this one. See, Angus waited until after he'd proposed to get the cheese board out because he knew I would have just inhaled that diamond.

Gassy too. Kirstie on 131060. Did fast food play a role in your love story? It absolutely has. I hope you don't. Yes, Kirstie. Which fast food? McDonald's.

Oh, McEvie's, the OG. Tell us what happened. Yeah. When I was young, I used to always eat Happy Meals. And my husband, now my husband, but my boyfriend used to always, he used to be a DJ for

Mobile Discos. Oh, yeah. Every night when he would come home, he'd bring me a Happy Meal. Oh, God love him. Because he'd wake me up and he'd always be, yeah, too noisy. And he, this night, he comes back, he comes in and gives me my Happy Meal and I'm sitting there eating. The toy that was in the Happy Meal was a ring.

Oh, he's done it as well. People are using fast food to propose. That's cool. So the toy was a ring. Yeah, absolutely. And then we decided that he needed to take me out for a very romantic special dinner to celebrate. And he took me to a car park outside a Holden dealership.

This guy knows romance. And ordered pizza. And ordered pizza. Oh, there we go. Yes. Domino's playing a role. Thank you, Kirstie. I like the idea.

Kirstie pulled out the ring and went, where's the toy? I don't want the ring. I want the toy. I'll stand by it. They're still hard to build. Kate, on 131060, Kate, has fast food played a role in your love story? Absolutely. So it was 2001.

I had a job at a florist. I was 15, but my best friend came to school and said, this new guy has started at the local pizza shop and I think he's your husband. And at 15, you don't think that sounds ridiculous. But anyway, I went and applied for a job. I got a job and he is literally my husband and we've been together ever since 2001.

Wait, Kate, you literally went and applied for a job at the pizza shop because your mate said there's a bloke who works there you're probably going to end up with? Yes, absolutely. What? And why did she think he'd be the right guy for you? Like, what was it that she saw in him? To be honest, I don't know what she saw in him,

but she's one of those people that is always right about things. Everyone goes to her for advice. So she just said to me, I met your husband. You need to come and apply for a job. And I didn't want to work in food, which is why I was at the florist. But when your bestie tells you this is what you're doing, you do it. So I had two jobs and, yeah, I married him. That's a bloody pivot to go from a florist to then working at a pizza shop

just because your friend said you're going to get along. A lot of trust in that friend. With the new guy working there. Wow. Well, there you go. It's a pretty pivot to go from a florist to then working at a pizza shop just because your friend said, you're going to get along. A lot of trust in that friend. With the new guy working there. Wow. Okay. Well, there you go. Fast food in a lot of people's love stories. I love it.

Because now every time Kate and her husband has a pizza, you know, they just transport it back to those early days. I had a missed opportunity not putting the ring in a Kinder Surprise when I proposed to Morgan. But then how do I get the chocolate over that thing again? Yeah. You know what you had to do? Like lick the chocolate down to melt it

to then fuse it together again. Could have been a bit weird. Enjoy. Jess and Ducco. T-minus three weeks. Oh yeah, true. A small baby. Today, in three weeks essentially. Oh my god. It is just so

exciting. It's wonderful news. We are on the countdown. The go bag is sitting by the front door? Yeah, everything's set. Or is it sitting in the car? It's sitting in a room, in a bedroom. In a room, okay. Everything's set, pram's set up, everything's good to go. How can we move that to the front door, babe?

Get it up there. Get it up there. Okay. If her water breaks spontaneous, which I know is not the plan, but hey, maybe it won't go to plan. Anything can happen. You need straight out the door. I mean, yeah, I've been getting that perineum sorted all weekend.

So, you know. I've been getting it ready. It's important. Yeah, I know. I've been preparing, you know. Angus got you that leaflet? Yeah, oh yeah. No, Angus sent me a video.

Angus sent me a video just of what the hand movements do. When he drops off the lawnmower. Yeah, yeah. He dropped off the leaflet. He said, brother, come with me. You know, I went to his shed. We were at your house the other day. He took me to his shed. Yeah, Morgan and I were having a cup of tea. He just starts getting two index fingers up. And he's like, yeah. Did you drop off the leaf? Yes, I said, brother, come with me. You know, I went to his shed. We were at your house the other day. He took me to his shed.

Yeah, Morgan and I were having a cup of tea. He just starts getting two index fingers up. And he's like, this is how you do it. And I was like, all right. I wondered why he rolled the garage down. Like, what are they doing in there? You can't wear no pants on? Well, you've got to have a demo.

You need to know what it feels like. Are you sure you're going to try this on me? My perineum doesn't feel as, oh, okay. Oh. It's not pleasant, is it? It's not pleasant. This is a great Ryobi. What'd you say?

It was battery. Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. Enough chatting about me and your husband. Perineum. So, as you know, yes, a couple of weeks away. So Morgan has decided she wants a push playlist. Okay. Music is important to you and Morgan

because I think you go either way wanting this or not wanting it in the birthing suite. I was like, no thank you. Oh, you didn't want it at all? I didn't want it because my issue is my issue was because I'm such a superstitious and I read too many signs and meaning

into everything and nothing. The moment she was coming out, I would be too focused on the song and if it wasn't like the best song in the world, I would have been like, quick, change the song. I just thought I'd be in my own head too much. Well, this is funny you say this. This is exactly what I want to talk about. Okay.

Because Morgan wants this. We both love music. And I said we should get our obstetrician and midwife, who we're seeing today, we should get their songs as well, their favourite songs. They've been in that situation so many times. They know great music. And it would be fun.

I just find it, I think it would be really funny that Morgan's mid-labour and then the obstetrician's favourite song comes on. And he's like, oh, this is my track. But also, would he be then encouraging, now, Morgan, let's get it out before it ends. And for whatever reason, Morgan has taken my stupid idea and gone, I love that. Let's ask them for their favorite songs. We're going to get my song as well.

Then I said, can I extend this to the team? Oh, my God. And get one song for Babs, Jess, and Shiger. Like, you all give me a song. And then if that song comes on while Baby comes out. We get to name the kid. Well, I can't give you that many rights, but I'll give you a fridge magnet and a jizz pen. And we get to move forward knowing it was our song

that brought your daughter into the world. Could you imagine if Shy Guys gives us a song and that plays and then forever, I'm like, Shy Guys was in my head when my child was born. Will you have a list maybe laminated to the wall so you can see? I want to extend this thing. Oh, my God. So I want to do you three.

I want to do, obviously, me, the opposite Trish, and the midwife, and I want to get three rice cookers. Oh, my God. Hang on a minute. That's only like 30 minutes. How long? Will you just have it on repeat? Maybe we need more.

Well, I guess Morgan can end it. Actually, no, we could probably get like 10 rice cookers. Why not? We could take maybe submissions on text and phone or whatever. Morgan obviously will bat up some songs. I think so. Because she should have multiple in the pool and we all get one. Boring if it's one of hers.

And then there's a shuffle or do we set the arrangement? I think it's shuffle. It's got to be shuffle. I think it's got to be shuffle. That's fair. Because the chances that the daughter comes out song one probably slim. Probably not happening, yeah. So I asked Morgan, like, what are you looking for?

And she said, look, her playlist that she was thinking was going to be more chilled. However, she thinks the fun of this will be you guys choose what you like and it doesn't matter. As soon as you say that to me, a song to get you through labor, I'm thinking empowerment. I'm thinking you can do this, girlfriend. You know I love Disney. I guess this is the vibe, a big, strong, powerful ballad as opposed to something more chill. Well, yeah, so it's up to you guys.

But you've got to play the player. We've got to do this for Morgan. But she wants your songs for you because then we know. Imagine Morgan's giving birth. I'm still so wee. I certainly shan't be. You're the support person. I'm the support person. Know your role. I'm still so wee. I certainly shan't be. You're the support person. I'm the support person.

Know your role. Good job. Thank you so much. But imagine if Morgan's pushing baby out and then that comes on. So these are some of the most common songs I Google. Because there's so many. There's so many. Best playlist for labor.

The classic one. Pushy. Yeah. Yeah, push it. Salt and pepper. This is what comes on when it's cliché. It's a bit like, then there's. Yeah, old school Bieber. and pepper. This is what comes on when you... It's a bit like... Cliché. Then there's... Yeah, old school Bieber.

A bit old school Bieber. I mean, any song with baby in it. Someone has suggested a bit of Rammstein. Okay, I don't know what he's saying, but this is feeling empowering. Do a huss to me. You wear that Viking hat too. Oh, yes, John. Do a huss to me. You wear that Viking hat too. Oh, yes, John.

I now wear Crookins. Well, I've got, so I'm thinking of two. These are the two I'm choosing between. So the first one I'm choosing between.

Because you know what they say, when your obstetrician sees the baby's head, she's crowning. She's crowning. Let me see Simba. This feels, and then,

and then the obstetrician might say, Ducko, come over here, catch her, or pull her out, and you'll lift her. Yeah, lift her up. To the heavens. I'll look down, I'll go, holy hell. And I'll lift her up. You'll be Rafiki.

Yes, I'll be Rafiki. Anyway, I'm thinking that song. Oh, that's a strong nomination. Just because it's very topical. We both love this song. They not like us. They not like us. Very deep. No, you both love this song. They not like us. They not like us. Very deep.

You cannot. Why not? You can, Drake. Hey, Drake, you cannot. Imagine this coming out. Imagine Baby coming out dancing. Just ducko two-stepping around the delivery room. So they're the two that I'm choosing between,

but I think I'm going to go Circle of Life because I'm quite enjoying it. I think it's funny. That feels better. Yeah, it feels fun. It just feels like a bit of fun. So I think I'm going to choose Circle of Life. But tomorrow, I need you three to all bring me a song. Now, remember, it doesn't need to be chill.

A song that you like. Yeah, no, I think Morgan needs to be empowered. In that moment, she needs to feel the collective energy of the sisterhood. The generations of women who have come before her and around her. So you're going for the empowerment? That's how I'm going to take into this. I've already got some big names swirling around. Shaga, how are you going to attack this challenge?

Are you sure you've got an idea? I think I already know what I'm going to go with. Okay. Babs is going to sit on it for 24 hours. Babs is going to go. I have an idea too. Yeah, see Babs takes this stuff seriously. And Babs is very passionate about her music as well.

Okay. So tomorrow. It'll be Smash Mouth. Wrong. Tomorrow you show me yours. All Wrong. Tomorrow you show me yours. All right. And you show me yours. And then we'll get the Rice Cookers on.

Oh, I love that. So maybe we only need 10 songs from the Rice Cookers. I reckon. We can do that. We can do a couple call in and tell us and a couple on the text line. Sure, text line, DM. Yeah, great. Okay.

We're going to get Morgan through this delivery together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The push playlist. Maybe you had a song the moment your kid came out and that will forever be, that this delivery together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The push playlist. Maybe you had a song the moment your kid came out, and that will forever be, that's the song. Maybe Morgan can have that in her mix. Okay. Well, strap in tomorrow, guys.

This is a big responsibility, guys. It's huge. I can't believe she's giving this the green light. She's obviously gotten, like, the pregnancy delirium stage. Yeah, I think so. She's like, yeah, whatever. Jess and Ducko. Happy Monday, team.

Just about done here. If you missed any of the show, make sure you grab it on Listener or wherever you get your podcasts. We were just talking about a huge honour that your wife, Morgan, has bestowed on us and the Rice Cookers, allowing us to submit a song for her push playlist in about three weeks' time when she's set to push out your firstborn child. Already getting some suggestions.

He'll be texting on the text line. 0488881069. You can slide into the DMs. Some whack texts coming through. I didn't think about this too much, but oh, goodness. Wow, Morgan's giving us free reign. Yeah, she has. So we've got 24 hours to come back to you with our suggestions.

You, Sharga and Babs, that's correct. Do I add Boss Jason there as well? Oh, you know he'll come up with some pop. Weird pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll do some sort of laboosh 90s dance. However, you know, Labor could go. It could go for a while. I heard a woman on a podcast the other day, 60 hours, Ducco.

60 hours. Geez. We need a few songs on this thing. Otherwise, you're just going to have to hit repeat. And that could get tedious. So tomorrow, you guys. And then we're going to get some Bryce Cook suggestions. We're going to do some online so we can take some and play it.

Then we'll get some people to call in. Slide in. And we'll probably need 10 or whatever cookers, but if it's your song and you're one of the rice cookers, you're going to get a fridge magnet and a jizz bit. We'll have a laminated sheet of paper so Ducko can see at the moment the kid comes out, your first port-a-call will not be cutting the umbilical cord.

No. It will be checking the log. 100%. Hang on a minute. Hang on a minute. Sweet child of mine. Yep. That was Bethany's. Bethany. I best give her a call. You've won a jizz bit. And I'm sure you'll FaceTime her in that moment. Absolutely. I'll be more

thinking about this than the actual baby coming out. You batted out Kendrick Lamar, which we're going to have to beat. Not like us. I think I'm going to keep the circle of life. However, you're a kid, man. You do what you want. Exactly. I mean, exactly.

When my kid finds out that we even did this, you mean you got random people you don't know to put songs in a playlist for me to come out? Yeah, I did. Welcome to the world, sweetheart. We've got, you know, it's not in pen just yet, but you might have naming rights. So get involved.

I'll give you a middle name. How's that? We'll hyphenate. Very generous. Confirmation name. How's that? We'll hyphenate. Very generous. Confirmation name. You can pick the saint. And tomorrow we are back, of course, with my baby gift registry. All thanks to legends at Baxco Homes.

Customise your dream family home with the award-winning Baxco Homes. Absolutely. You're listening out for a crying baby. Tomorrow, Ninja Creamy and Ninja Slushy Maker. Today, Chloe walked away with $1,000 at Bunnings. It's unbelievable. Incredible. Incredible.

Unbelievable. So a lot to enjoy. A lot to enjoy. Now, Chloe walked away with a thousand bucks at Bunnings. It's unbelievable. Incredible. Incredible. Unbelievable. So, a lot to enjoy. A lot to enjoy. Now, you guys need to go and pick your songs. You need to get ready for tomorrow. I know. I've got to start going through Billboard Top 100. Oh, yeah.

I can't wait to see what you guys come up with. We should ask. John guys rapped with his. I can tell he's already excited. That's pretty cool. We should put it out there to the cookers as well. Like, did they have a song playing? Yeah.

You know, at the moment. And do they regret it? Yeah. Or do you remember it even? Or do you remember it? Yeah, I like that. In that moment, I'd be surprised if Morgan actually is conscientious of the song playing. Yeah, it'd be mainly me.

Unless you've got the epidural, obviously, and you're a bit more outside the pain. That's the plan. But, you know, these things, you never know what's going to happen. Exactly. I can see Morgan, between you and me and everyone else listening, I can see her being the kind of person, because she's like once again epidural. I can see her

being like, in the moment, I'm not going to get one and then regretting it halfway through. And then, you know, it's too late. It gets you halfway out. That's all the cards. If I was a betting man, I'd put money on that. But hey, we are out of here. Enjoy the rest of your Monday. We'll be back bigger and better tomorrow.

Bye-bye. Bye. I love the sog, baby. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Hot honey has dropped at Macca's for a limited time only. Embrace the drip.