Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Toe sucking is not for everyone!

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Jess' friends are regretting asking for help, Ducko's mum returned from India with questionable gifts and can we ask when were you lame?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi everyone, welcome to the podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Great show everyone. Really strong today. Well, well done. A lot of fun to be had on the show today.

Absolutely. I'm just having a little look through the text here. Anything to follow on from? Anything to update through the text here. Anything to follow on from? Anything to update on the text line? Anything to update? We did talk about collectibles. You and I were having a wonderful conversation about Pokemon. Oh, yeah.

Huge combo. Babs. All talking about what kind of Pokemon we are. You know, we talk about, you know, not yucking yums. Someone's very happy to yuck the Pokemon yum. You sound all the shit. That's right. Sorry. Sorry we're into vampire diaries. You sound old as shit. That's right. Sorry.

Sorry we're into vampire diaries. Sorry we're not cool. You started lost again recently. But we were talking about collectibles. Someone said, I have a lunchbox that's worth $7,000. What? It's got to be a tin lunchbox. It's got to be old school tin lunchbox.

Yeah. I found an old lunchbox. Must have been maybe op shopping, thrift shopping. Paid a buck. Turned out to be worth seven grand. Wow. I said, did you sell it? Person said, no, I still have it.

I went, oh, I'm going to need some more information. Yeah, why would you still have it? If it's worth seven grand, sell it. Because if it's worth seven grand today, what's it worth in 12 months, in 12 years? I'd be sitting on lunchbox money. It's only worth seven grand if someone's willing to pay. To pay. Yeah.

You never know if it's going to boost value. That's the only kind of thing that's guaranteed a value boost over time. This is the whole cryptocurrency debate. Isn't it? Might be worth a million today. Tomorrow, we're at ten bucks. Anyone in crypto on the team? It's having a moment.

I don't understand. I don't get it either. It's really starting to, what I've been told though, is it's starting to, you know, blow up a lot. I was sitting next to a gentleman at a birthday dinner recently and he's very much into crypto. Oh yeah. And just, he's speaking another language. I just couldn't comprehend. Was this at Mo's birthday dinner?

Exactly. I know the guy you're seeing next to. You know, I just, they're speaking another language. I'm going, I don't. I don't get it either. I don't get it. But I reckon they don't even get it. They just say shit. They just say buzzwords. They jumped on a bandwagon early and put probably a decent amount of

coin behind it. He's been around for a long time now. Maybe back in the day he paid $100 for one. I don't know if that's how you say it. Is it one Bitcoin? You buy a percentage usually because if you want to buy a whole Bitcoin that's $140,000 as of right now.

One Bitcoin is $140,000. Correct. But you can buy a percent of one. You can buy 0.1% of one Bitcoin. Let's say I have one Bitcoin. Can I give the bank my one Bitcoin and say that's my house deposit? No. You need to transfer it to get the money.

You need to cash it in. You need to get the money. Who gives me the $140,000? I don't know. There are banks that do accept it. As payments. But there's a lot of fees on top of the transaction and other stuff. I don't know who gives.

I don't know who cashes this. Who gives you the money? Like, I can have. Remember we talked about that guy in Wales who lost the hard drive. Yeah. And he said, I had $760 million worth of crypto. Yeah. Who gives him that so he can actually go to Woolworths and do a shop?

Exactly. He can actually go to the Lamborghini dealership and buy a car. I don't know. How is it tangible? His hard drive was to log into his account, basically. Yes. Like a set of car keys. Right.

That's what he lost. He needs that plugged in for it to work. But I want to buy a tangible thing. I want to buy a house. Yeah, you need to transfer it to work. But I want to buy a tangible thing. I want to buy a house. Yeah, you need to transfer it to cash. So it says there. One of the easiest ways to cash out your cryptocurrency or Bitcoin is to use a centralized exchange such as Coinbase.

Coinbase has an easy-to-use buy slash sell button, and you can choose which cryptocurrency you want to sell and the amount. Okay, so they will give me the equivalent amount of dollars. So there's Coinbase, Binance, Gemini, or Kraken. That's a fun one. All of these sound made up and scammy. Yeah, they turn Bitcoin into cash. Can you imagine going on to Kraken and being like,

I've got $140,000 worth of Bitcoin. Transfer, exchange, and then just nothing happening. It says there's $100 worth having in Bitcoin. It says while you can buy some stuff with $100, it's not really going to make you a fortune. It's highly unlikely. You need to sort of go a bit bigger. But I can't go into Glassons and be like, hey, I've got my Bitcoin.

Can I have that tube top? Hey, have you looked at my e-wallet? Yeah. I want those pleather pants. Give them to me. I've got the Bitcoin. No, I don't think so. I'll go, what?

Huh? What did you say? Get out of here. Stop it. I don't get to. The 16-year-old will go, what? What did you say? Get out of here. Stop it. I don't get to hear over the loud music in that shop. Hang on a minute. That is a nightclub in that shop.

I don't know if I know Glassons. This is going to be very specific. Charles Town Square. You know where Boost is? On the corner. Young chick fashion. It was intimidating to look at. It's very intimidating. Everything is midriff.

Is it like a glue vibe? Is it a what? Glue vibe? I don't know. I think cheaper. Okay. Would you say cheaper? It's like cheap, but I do like it, but it's just horrifying.

Yeah, because you're a cheap little. Yeah, because it's a lot of money. You want to get your midriff out. Oh, no, I didn't mean cheap as in money. I meant cheap as in like filthy. Dirty girl. Dirty bitch. She's a dirty girl. in money. I mean cheap as in like filthy. Dirty girl. Dirty bitch.

She's a dirty girl. Is it like Babs' Supre? Yes. Modern Supre. Perfect. Yes, kind of, yeah. Makes sense. A lot of string, a lot of mesh.

Did you guys go to, you would have, but did you guys go to school dances when you were growing up? Yes, and we had like, with a partner, and you had to do like actual dances, like the barn dance and stuff. I'm sorry, Miss. I didn't grow up on rural farms. You meant like a school disco. I meant like a shindig. Okay, when we went to school dances, right, there was a school in Brisbane called St Aidan's.

It's a girls' school. The Aidan's dance was the mecca because you'd go there and you'd count how many hookups you could get on the D floor. But wait, how did you get an invite to Aidan's school dance? You could just buy them. You could just go. Oh, was it a kiddie? It had to be another school.

Yeah, yeah, another private school. Oh, so you didn't have to be invited by a lady to join her? No, that was formals and stuff. But this was like, do you want to dance? Yeah. Two seconds. Want to hook up? And then you try and count it.

And yeah, it was disgusting. You had like, you know when air hostesses, hosties walk down the aisles and they click just to do that final count? That was you in your pocket being like, one, two, three. I never slayed at school dances because I think it was a height issue for me. I had some mates who didn't even need to move in the spot. They'd just get so many girls.

I'd be flat strapped. I'd be looking for the little one in the group. Where are you? You're like the lion looking for the weak one of the gazelle. A couple of weak cubs looking for each other. Yeah, I guess you want to. Yeah. And also.

Because you're slow and limp. You've got a problem like me. I'm a huge personality guy. They've got to get to know me, then they like me. Yeah, and out of school there. Can't hear shit. I'm trying to charm them. And LMFAO's playing.

It's basically classic. So you guys didn't have those? You've got a window of not weak. And then people go for number two. No. Yeah. On the dance floor? 100%.

100%. It was disgusting. Were you pushing undies to the side? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Classy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly.

Content. And this is grade nine. Year nine was like the earliest you could go, but you wouldn't go past year 11? No. Now that you're describing like a ticketed thing, no, I'm thinking of formals. We were invited by someone who attended that school. Do you want to be my partner to the formal? Right.

And I remember being sort of, not to make myself sound like a massive wanker, but I was a bit of like the ambassador for my group. So I would go up with one and then be like, your four friends have to take my four friends. And he'd be like, okay. So I really forced his boys to take our girls so we could go as a group. You don't want to go on your own.

How awkward. And none of them were boyfriend-girlfriend situations. It was very much, all right, maybe as a hooker. Maybe it was a bit, oh, yeah, we'll meet at the playground later. But it was very much like, please take us so we can have a good time too. But there was no kissies? No, definitely kissies. Okay.

Particularly, like, where you'd get the limo and you'd dress up and do all that jazz. But a bit more formal. I want to hear about Babs's. Me too. Country. Come on now, let's all get up and dance. So a gentleman caller would knock on your door, ask your dad's permission to take his little girl to the barn dance? So in primary school we had school dances like every year.

Primary school? Yeah, but it school dances, like, every year. Primary school? Yeah, but it started, like, in year three or four. Yeah, you're not allowed to dance. Like, it's daylight rule in primary school dances. And you sort of just dance in front of each other. No, no, no. We had to learn traditional dances. Please do some now with Jess.

Well, I don't remember. Oh, you would remember. The muscle memory will kick in. Like, the barn dances. I'm thinking, like, dance in front of each other. Barn dancing? Yeah. It was just, like, waltzing and stuff.

Yeah, you are. You get angry at us for saying you're from the country related to everyone out there. That's not country. That was just weird. It was a Catholic school. It's giving the rust belt of America. It barely is. The weirdest part was that we had a dance card and we had to select someone else.

And it went in so the girl had to select a boy to dance with and then write it on her card and then it was reciprocated. In Bridgerton, the dance cards. That is so old school. In Bridgerton, the literally dance cards are attached almost by an elastic around your wrist. That's what it was. It's a small bit of paper.

It's like someone owns you. They're going to dance with you. It's literally shotgun. It's like a deli counter. That's so funny. Adrian would write Adrian and then Liam would come, write Liam. Jeremy would come and write Jeremy.

So Babs would know, all right, I'm due for Jeremy now. Oh, so you have like multiples, not just one. Yeah, it was like multiple dances and your parents would come. It was so weird. How'd you go? Did you get a few big tickets? Well, it used to be a whole thing. It was like, I'm going to choose this boy because I really like him.

And then it was like, is he going to choose me? Like it was a whole thing. Did you have to both choose each other? Or if you had picked Leo and Leo hadn't picked you, do you dance or do you not? No, so it took in turns. So it was more like, oh, are they going to pick me or do I have to pick them? You know what I mean? But they had to do it.

Yeah. Even if you didn't pick each other. Yeah. I'd be so nervous about my handwriting on the thing. Like, oh God. I'd be nervous. I'd be like so jealous. I'd be looking, oh, she's got 15.

God, what a dance car. I've got two. That was a popularity thing. And so, like, how long would a dance last? Two minutes? They were long dances. Probably, like, two minutes to, like, traditional music. Wow.

When you say traditional, what did you... Like this? No, not Vaughn. Come on, now. You said Vaughn. Honky Tonk. Come on. It was, like, waltzing music.

Wow. Like, I'll get a bit of Vivaldi or Beethoven or something. Yeah. I remember this one guy. Mozart. He might have Mozart. Picked me. No, no.

Tom picked his nose. Yeah, like this? Sort of, yeah. I wonder if I can find it on the internet. And what is sort of clothing you wear? All right, you just get that. You used to dress in nice clothing. But like a ball gown?

No, just like not glasses. Yeah, like puffy dresses. boys are in three-piece suits. No, but like a nice dress and sandals sort of vibe. And you're year four. Yeah, year four, year five, year six. This is the wildest thing I've ever heard in my life. Crazy. And this was out in Maitland, yeah?

Yeah. Where the fuck was that yesterday when we did They Don't Do That Anymore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where was that? Unless they are doing that anymore. Every time we say you're from the country, you can never get angry at us now.

That's not, it's not country. It's just weird. Do they still do it? It's pretty country. I don't know. It feels, is there a phone topic on this? Can you mention one of your cousins out there? Yeah, I probably can.

Someone has a school-aged child? Is there a phone topic on this on the show? Yeah, there probably is. Do we come in the radio show and go, do you still do school dances? And how do they look now? Are they still doing school dances? Because my dance is very different to yours, Jess. It's different to yours, Babs. That's a good, what do they look like? What they still doing school dances? Because my dance was very different to yours, Jess. It was different to yours, Babs.

That's a good one. What do they look like? What a school dance looks like. Yeah. Did you have any shot, Guy? Because you were in Sydney. Yeah, on the Central Coast. Oh, the Central Coast.

Like our school was next to the beach. But we did dances, but they were just like disco. What a random little detail that was. Yeah, I don't know why. I thought you went to school in Northern, like kind of like. I went to high school. Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah.

Oh, no. My Babs is doing this in year four. Yeah, yeah. I was still in primary school. Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah. My dad was doing this in year four. Yeah, yeah. My dad was still in primary school. Yeah. But any school dances across your tenure? Nothing like, just normal. Nothing.

Like formals? No partner writing names. It was just normal formal stuff. Yeah. That's unbelievable. Because she's not, she's 23. This is only a, what, just over a decade ago. Yeah.

It wasn't that long ago. I wonder if they still do it. Because we had a, there was a, it was called the Terry Center. And it was like. Was it named after a bloke named Terry? Sounds creepy. Yes, it wasn't that long ago. I wonder if they still do it. Because we had it, there was a center, it was called the Terry Center. And it was like- Was it named after a bloke named Terry? Sounds creepy. Yes, it was. I think it might have been a priest or something.

But, um- He ****. Jeez. It was just like this big hall and we used to all gather there. And there was a canteen and you could get a packet of chips and a soft drink for like $2. I remember it. At your dances. Yeah, after your dances.

So if you had a break in between boys, you'd go, I'm going to- Salty Vs in a can of Coke. Yeah, that's right. She's a light-t like $2. I remember it. At your dances? Yeah, after your dances. So if you had a break in between boys, you go, I'm going to salt TVs in a can of Coke. She's a light and tangy girl. If ever I've seen one. Oh, you are light and tangy. Okay, can you tell us, did you get many boys sign up to dance with you? I was pretty popular in primary school. Okay, what's up? I was school prefect, you know.

They had prefects in primary school? Yeah, they did. In year six. And then in high school, how'd you go? Did you get a few? You get on the D4? Yeah, they did in year six. And then in high school, how'd you go? Did you get a few? You get on the D4? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Spider web shooting as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ma, look away!

So no one else got hookups and sneaky fingers on the D4 in their school dances? No, it's just you. Damn, what's going on with my school? You're from Queensland. You guys, I was in Brisbane. It was all private schools in Brisbane. It was like the GPS circuit.

Yeah. That's funny. Anyway. That's great. What was St. Aidan the patron saint? Fingers. Jess and Ducko

in the morning. Good morning team. Welcome to Wednesday. Good bloody morning. Ducker, we might need to edit that little opener we've got there. Because it called me Jess, and I just don't think that name fits my new personality. I want to be known as Giuseppina, I want to be Fabrizia, I need a much more ethnic name. What's Giuseppina?

Giuseppina would be like Josephine, I guess, translated. I'm just trying to think of the most Italian names I can think of, ethnic name. What's Giuseppina? Giuseppina would be like Josephine, I guess, translated. Oh, you know what, Jess? I'm just trying to think of the most Italian names I can think of because I just feel my most ethnic self. Yes. With my new dude. With my new dude. I've got about three metres of hair sewn into my scalp and I am really feeling

it. I know you are feeling it. I walked into the studio and you didn't say anything, you just jumped up and flicked your hair around. I just wanted you to see me. I nearly flicked you in the face from across the room. I saw it. I walked into the studio and you didn't say anything. You just jumped up and flicked your hair around. I just wanted you to see me. I nearly flicked you in the face from across the room. I saw it. I saw it all. I actually had an idea for a video. I'd love you to be Lucy Liu to my Cameron Diaz

at a risk of starting the show off with a niche reference. Here we go. You know Charlie's Angels. You know Charlie's Angels. You know when Lucy goes, flip your goddamn hair. And then Cameron Diaz does it in slow-mo. I do. I do.

Yeah, yeah. I want you to be Lucy Liu and I'll be Cameron. Yeah. Anyway, that's for after the show. No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. Do it. No.

You can be Lucy Liu. I don't want to be Lucy. I want to be the Chad. Getting stuck in the chimney of his bucket. Yeah, yeah. The Chad is stuck. It does look great, though. You've got hair extensions.

Thank you, I've got hair extensions. It was all over social media yesterday. You were there for about six hours. That's not even an exaggeration. It actually was a six-hour process. I'm just really feeling myself. Are you feeling yourself today, my friend? I am.

I mean, I don't have hair extensions. But you got to play with puppies yesterday, speaking of what we see on social media. I did get to play with puppies yesterday. Oh, God. But then it's always hard because then you want to leave, because those are the RSPCA, then you what we see on social media. I did get to play with puppies yesterday. Oh, God. But then it's always hard because then you want to leave because those are the RSPCA.

Then you want to leave with the puppies. What did you just say off air before? You said, if I wasn't having a kid. Yeah, I would have bought one of those puppies. They're Australian Shepherd Cross Dash Hounds. They're the cutest little things I've ever seen. Not a combination I've ever heard of.

And I don't want to think about it too much, how that interaction happened between the mama and the papa. They said it was a surprise pregnancy and they're presuming Dash Hound is the other one, the Australian Shepherd was their dog, but you could tell they were little and stumpy. Do you know who the mum was? Like, was the mum the cattle dog, or was the mum the Dash Hound? I'm not sure.

I presume the mum was the cattle, or the Australian Shepherd. Oh, which means the Dash Hound has impregnated the cattle dog. Actually, I don't know. I'm not sure. I didn't ask who rooted who, Jeff. These are the questions I need you to be asking at the RSPCA. I was just looking at the cute little dog. And I'd never seen anything like it.

How's the logistics of this? So who had sex with who here? They were gorgeous. They were very cute. And I don't like Dash Hounds. I thought you were about to put in our chat, guys, meet the newest member of the family. I was so close, man. I to put in our chat, guys, meet the newest member of the family. I was so close, man.

I texted to Morgan. Too much doubt for meeting the newest member of the family. And Morgan's like, oh, if we weren't pregnant right now, we would get that. She said the same. She was very keen. Because Pam can get along with little dogs. Pam can dominate them.

Absolutely. She can still be the boss. Well, we said, though, do you reckon we would get her a boy or a girl? Ooh, well, you are having a daughter. Yeah. So just for numbers, do you want another Johnson in the house? Yeah, I would have have got a little boy. A little boy.

A little boy for Pam and her little brother too. Oh, a little Jim. A little Jim. Pam and Jim, yes. Pam and Jim. Pam and Jim, yeah, yeah. Oh, I think you should go back. I know, I really want it.

I want a puppy in the tent. Imagine if I did it and I got a puppy and then all of a sudden seven weeks, Tom, we have a kid. How would Morgan genuinely have reacted? Because you have been known to go to Woolworths and come home with a gamut of surprising things. She's like, we don't need this. I didn't tell you to get this. How do you genuinely think she would have reacted if you walked through the door with a puppy yesterday?

I think her love for it would have overcome it. I think she would have enjoyed it. Maybe silent treatment for 20 minutes. I'm mad at you. She would have been so infatuated with a puppy. You're so cute. Remember when I came home with a Labrador for my brother about 10 years ago? My mum didn't speak to me for three weeks.

Yeah. And then Ranger became her boy. You know, Ranger became her favourite. Yeah, and they always love it. And they love it. You should have got one for like Shy Guy or someone who lives by himself. A little companion. I can't have dogs.

Yeah, you can't. All rentals say that until you get one. Yeah. You say, FYI, I've got a dog. I know. I thought that was in the news recently. They can't do that anymore. I think you can if you get a doctor's note to say you need it for anxiety. Oh, mate, you could easily get that.

Dr. Alan Duckett over here. Bang, I'll sign you off. That's what your Wi-Fi thing says, isn't it? They were very cute. Yeah, they were so cute. Very sweet. Even Babs. Babs loves a small little fella in her life. I would love a little dog. Okay.

Well, if they're still there, I'll go back and get one. Babs wants new hair and a little dog. We're really influencing Babs this morning. Babs really wanted your hair. She really wanted that hair. So when other girls see long hair, do they get like, it's like, oh, I want that. I mean, as someone whose hair doesn't grow, yes.

I would love long hair. I'm going to keep that audio forever. Clear your schedule. Start saving your pennies, Babsy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use Jess 10. You can have a mane. I'll be saving for 10 years.

It does look nice, though. Thank you. I appreciate you. I couldn't believe how much longer it looked. I know. I couldn't believe the hairdresser saying, people come in for this treatment, I guess you'd call it, and get them cut. You know, they'll go, oh, actually, bring it up a bit.

What's the point of getting extensions to cut them all off? Yeah. You'd be sweaty, though, in summer. That's what my husband's concern was. I walked in, he went, sexy mama, because he knows I've been complaining about my hair not growing. He goes, my concern is, though, you already run very hot, so now you've got this extra blanket.

I went, I'll deal with it. Yeah, wear it up. I will deal with it. I can wear it up like Ariana, the big, luscious pony. Did you take it for a spin last night? I did. That was actually one of the things the hairdresser said. He goes, now, the one thing, maintenance,

make sure you're brushing every day, oiling every day, and just watch your bedroom activities because they can be pulled out. I was going to say, yeah, because it gives Angus another handle. Exactly. And I went, no worries. Hey, okay. Just be careful. I do more of the hair pulling than he.

Ooh. Not on myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got very short hair. He does. But it grows fast. It's just scalp point. It scratches.

That's why he gets his hair cut really short, so I can't grab onto it. Because he can't do it. But then after two weeks, it's long enough again that I can really go for it. It's like Johnny Bravo. I can get my whole hand in there. When he washes it, it gets all soft. Morgan loves it when I wash my hair, it's all soft. Because I wash it once every quarter. Sometimes I call him Jimmy Neutron. He doesn't love that.

It's not a great reference, but the high, soft hair. Johnny Bravo, Jimmy Neutron, and I pull his hair when I have sex with him. Morning, honey! Whoa, whoa. We're skirting around the issue. Good morning, babe. He, honey. Whoa, whoa. We're skirting around the issue, Duck. Good morning, babe. You just texted me good morning.

Hey, big show. Big show. Alphabucks, your chance. 10K, 6.38, nearly went off yesterday. Oh, Hannah, we've got nine. I know. Shy Guy dips at seven. We've got your mum on the show today, which will be exciting.

Exactly. I'm looking forward to hearing some stuff from her. I can't wait to play you her trying to describe songs in our playlist, Ducco. A couple of glasses of Chablis Deep. Oh, Chablis. She's loose. Oh, she is loose. She's loose-lipped.

She is. Up next. Yes. I wonder if she pulls your dad's hair. I wonder if it's hereditary. I wonder if that's why my dad's thinning on top. You can't be doing that to a gentleman in his 60s, you know. He gets him every time.

He still loves it. Doesn't have the same coarseness. Good morning to mum and dad as well. Up next, I saw this story on social media yesterday and I went, I cannot wait to share this with you with the rice cookers. I tried to ban you from going on Instagram for 24 hours just in case you saw the story. The similarities between me and Trump have just gotten bigger.

I'll share it with you next. I just told you the similarities between President Donald J. Trump and Jay Faccione have shockingly... Gone through the roof. ...gotten pretty big. Make Jess great again. I wasn't sure Trumpy and I had anything in common. No.

And to be honest, don't think I wanted anything in common. Yeah, well, yeah. Not a huge diet Pepsi drinker. Oh, you know what? I don't love those paper straws. You know how when he was one day in office, he went, I'm banning the paper straws. He tried to take a crusade against that. They don't work.

They don't work. I also agree with him on that. However, this shocked me to my core when I saw the video doing the rounds yesterday. Yeah. It's a video of Trump sucking toes. Now, that's the first thing I noticed. So that's why you and Trump are similar. And of all the things you didn't want to be associated with,

you'll happily take. I'm happy to have such a public-facing celebrity bringing this taboo subject into the light. Normalising toe sucking. Normalised toe sucking. We all have our kinks. Hey, we are a show that will never yuck anyone's yum. But toe sucking. Normalised toe sucking. We all have our kinks. Hey, we are a show. That will never yuck anyone's yum. No.

But toe sucking is not for everyone. No, it's not. And we've all made it clear in this team, no one does it bar one. No one's tried it. No one's tried it. I have begged you. Begged you. You gagged Vegemite on toast, yet you will suck a toe. Yeah, because my husband's toes aren't fermented vegetables

that smell to high heavens. They've just walked around all day. He's had a wrist. He's a very clean boy. I never clean my toes. That's why you won't suck mine because I don't shower. Do you ever clean your toes? I don't clean my toes.

Well, sometimes I'll go in between. Oh, I've never done that. I just like let them. No, I never clean them. Do you mean like in the shower? Yeah, I just stand there. Get with your suds, your pits and bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that sud drops down. It drips down. I think that's fine. But underneath the toe. I just sometimes, not so much with soap, but with the towel. Because when moisture is trapped in your toes, you know, you can get athletes foot or even your skin can start to crack. So I just try and be a bit conscientious in that regard.

Right. I have excellent toe health. But I got really excited when I saw this video. I went, someone's leaked Trump's sex tape and he's into toe sucking. Because it does look real. It's Trump sucking like his good mate Elon Musk's toes. So then we go to looking a bit deeper. Yeah. The recipient is Elon Musk.

And it looks like intense. It's so intense. Granted, they're both fully clothed and they're both in their suits. In the office is Elon Musk. And it looks like intense. It's so intense. Granted, they're both fully clothed and they're both in their suits. In the office? Not usually. And then you realise it looks like it's in the White House. Yeah. What's that called?

The Oval Office. Yeah. And then upon further investigation from all the media outlets, sad to say it's AI. Some of the AI stuff though. Oh, man, it's scary. This is the best deepfake I've ever seen. Yeah. But looking into what the action is,

that looks like Trump and that looks like Elon. He is going to town on Elon's toes. And reportedly this video was playing on a loop. It's only about a four second video, but it was on a repeated loop in the Federal Department of Housing and Urban Development Headquarters.

Apparently it was made by a staffer. There's a full investigation happening. Someone's hacked them. As a criticism of, you know, Trump constantly bowing down to Elon and Elon having his fingers all over the US government. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone's created this as like, Trump, you're a sub. You're sucking up to Elon.

You're a sub to Elon. Submissive, I get it. Apparently they couldn't work out how to actually get the video taken off the TV. Staff had to manually walk around turning off the television. Musk or neither Musk nor Trump has commented yet, unfortunately. Be honest, though. When you saw that video, like a recovering alcoholic who sees someone drink, did you go home, put it on the TVs and just get those toes out?

I was horny for it. I was like, Angus, come home. Send him the video. That'll get him going too. Honey, come home. I've got new hair. I've got new long hair. I've got toes ready to go.

While he's playing, oh no, he didn't invent iPhone. What did Elon do? Oh, he has to be driving a Tesla. A Tesla. Talking about his SpaceX rocket and I can be just wearing an orange one. No, Trump's the one doing all the work in that video. That's the most work I'd ever do. Anyway, guys, it was a deep fake.

It was AI. Don't get sucked in like me. But Jess had a hell of a Tuesday. Trump wasn't sucking dogs. Right now, though, I wanted to share this interesting thing because I didn't know they did this after it's gone viral, obviously online, mainly in Victoria, but we've soon discovered within this team that it happens here

in New South Wales as well. There was a man stunned when he received a reminder and an alert on his bin, essentially a note saying that he didn't recycle his stuff properly. He didn't take the lids properly off his plastic bottles to recycle. Okay. Well, one, that's already a great little PSA. Be doing that.

That's a good tip. But who left the note? The council. The council went through his bin. Exactly. How would the council know? Then he found out that there is a small device installed in the bin and it monitors the bin. It basically monitors the bin so it tracks it if it gets lost, stolen, or if the council accidentally puts it in one of their trucks.

Oh. But it can also monitor. They release it at the wrong point and it gets dumped in the truck. Dumped in the truck. Oh, no. It can also monitor the contents in your bin and see if you are incorrectly. So, if you've left your caps on. Yep.

See if you are incorrectly disposing of something you've left your caps on. Yep. See if you are incorrectly disposing of something or illegally disposing of something. Oh, so I murder shy guy. Yes. Wrap his body up in a carpet and put it in my bin. Good way to do it. They'll be... Oh, it's very subtle.

I've watched the surprise. Yeah, yeah. They'll be able to trace it eventually back to me. Yeah, they've got a chip in there. The chip is underneath, tucked under the lip of the bin, right? So, like, on the lip where you sort of can grab the bin. So they are. It's a green little chip.

It's almost like a stalker would put a tracker on your car. It's not obvious. It's not obvious. Just slip it on there in the dead of night. Exactly. And it's just stuck there. Mainly if you have newer bins, if you get a bin from the council sometime in the next couple of months or last couple of years, chances are you might have this. Oh my God.

And it can track your trash. It can track what you're doing. It could also help if your bin gets stolen. But I asked the team last night, everyone, look at your bins. Yes. are you might have this. Oh, my God. And it can track your trash. It can track what you're doing. It could also help if your bin gets stolen. But I asked the team last night, everyone, look at your bins. Yes, I didn't have one. I didn't have one. And to be honest, I didn't know that I sent my husband out to go look. Yeah, yeah.

It's his job. Bin job, yeah. Bin job. Yeah, obviously. But Shy Guy. Yep. Little track man. I have a little RFID tag, it's called.

Yes. RFID. It's like a size of 50 cent piece. And the bins have the plastic mold for it, so they insert it and it sticks in there. So it's almost like it was an intentional design so that they could do this. And sorry, your garbage bin? The red and the yellow

had it, not the green. I don't think the green would. I don't think we need to... Oh, well, if I was going to dispose of a body, though, I would put that in organic matter. I'd put it in the greenhouse, suckers. You know? But that's why, so then they put it on these bins and that's why the yellow and the red, they can see what you're doing and what you're up to. Bin wars are a thing.

Bins do get stolen. You know, neighbors do steal each other's bins. We just had, we've got a laneway near our house where all the neighbors put their bins. It's a bit of a communal area. Someone's walked past and smashed one of the bins. So the lid's broken. And my husband, not being able to stand idly by, ordered a new bin for our neighbour.

Technically, it was his. But now our neighbour's going to think, hang on a minute. But he's just ordered. Sorry, let's hold up. Let's unpack that a little bit. Yes, Oprah. He ordered your neighbour's new bin. Yes.

So he went on the council. Who? Why? Because he didn't like the bin lidless because now it's stinky. It ruined the aesthetic of the street. It ruined the bin area. Did he know the neighbor wasn't going to do it? Does he know who it is?

And he's like, okay, he's not going to do it. He just thought he's got a lot on his plate. Right. Even though Angus would have to be the busiest person on the planet, he thought, I can jump on my laptop quickly and get it done. And you know, I've told you this before, Angus is the bin taker-outerer. That's also such a shit job to have. Oh, it's, I don't know.

What a horrible job. We are the newest. It's got to be something, it's got to be an OCD thing with him. Like, the bins all have to be there. They've got to be lined up right. And it's got to be all the garbage bins together in a little pack. Because when one of our other neighbours gets to it first, he goes, garbage bin, recycling bin, garbage bin, recycling bin.

Like, let's make it easy for the Garbo. Just put all the garbage next to each other, all the recyclings next to each other. Oh, right. You know, it looks a bit, it looks more aesthetic, but it actually would be more practical. Does he change them to look like that? I haven't seen him do that, but sometimes he goes, I've just got to go out to the garage for a second. Is he that guy on the street who always knows what week it is for a bin? Like, I never know.

Babe, he's got it marked on his calendar. Oh, goodness. He said it once, little set and forget. When we moved into this area, he went, right, Monday night's bin night, and we're starting. I think he looked at the old codgers down the road who usually would be first. All right, so this week is a green. We're starting on green, which means alternating.

But, yeah, so he went on the council website and said, you know, number 27. Needs a new bin. Needs a new bin. And was able to just order it. So check theirs. If he got that recently, they might have the tag. So one of them might have the tag. Check underneath all the lids of the bins.

They might have the tag. Because I said go check our bin, not go check all the bins. So when he said we don't have it. Because if it's tracking the street, you never know. Maybe the neighbor does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a real thing. We all share.

So maybe if something illegal ends up in our area. You guys are doing like bin parties on your street. It's a full. Real communal stuff. I'm going to come dump my stuff in your bin. This is the closest we've come to like village living. Yeah. You know, it's really we're in each other's business.

Can I get a sort of me and you bin when I need? You tell him what's happening with your lid, baby. We'll gladly order you something. We'll sort that out for you. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. We've got to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass.

We'll come back, of course, if there's time. Stepping up today. Well, well, well. We've got Jodie. Hello, Jodie. About time. Morning, guys. Jodie.

You have kept us waiting and waiting. We've been yearning. Oh. Yearning for you, Jodie. And finally. Yep, here she is. I've been trying. Here she is. Oh, so it's Babs' fault then?

No, no, it is a pleasure to finally have you on. It is. Jodie, what's motivating you today? What do you want to spend $10,000 on? I need a new car. We've had a lot of new car requests, haven't we? Yeah, it's the season. What's wrong with your old one?

It's in the mechanics at the moment, and it's going to cost me a fortune to get out so I think I'm just going to trade up and get something new. Well, Jodie, we gave away the letter about 10 minutes ago. Did you catch it? I think I did, yeah. What? What did you hear?

Was it L? It was L. Nice work, Jodie. Maybe Jodie can have a look at a Lamborghini. Oh yeah, or a Lexus. A Lexus might be a bit more manageable. Yeah, a Lexus could be more in the range. Still though, you know. I drag raced a guy in a Ferrari at the Lions the other day, but that's a story for another time.

Jodie. Drag race. I've seen you drive. You struggle to get past 60 kilometres an hour. Oh, no, I bet you did. I absolutely had his dust, but it gave me my best Fast and the Furious moment. Jodie, are you ready to get $10,000?

As ready as I'm ever going to be. That's all we can ask, girl. Let's do it. I can feel she's ready. Yeah. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter L. We need you to name something sweet.

A phone app. Pass. A fruit. Pass. An animal. Leaven. A breakfast cereal. Pass.

Something in the office. Letters. A boy's name. Leon. A Disney movie. Lion King. An American state. Pass. A boy's name? Leon. A Disney movie? Lion King. An American state? Pass.

A fabric? Pass. A phone app? No. Ah, Jodie! Bugger. Damn it. Bugger indeed.

Hey, look, you got yourself potentially five there. Question mark around one. We'll get to it, though. A phone app. LinkedIn. Could have been listener as well if we get our podcast. A fruit. A fruit comes up on the show a lot.

Lemon. It could have been. Jodie, it's my whole personality. A breakfast cereal. Lucky Charms. We have Shy Guy Dips for brekkie cereals today after seven as well. Disney movie. You said Lion King.

That's in here. Is it The Lion King? It is. Okay. It is. I'm sorry, Jodie. It counts as a team. It could have been Lilo it the Lion King? It is. Oh. Okay. It is. I'm sorry, Jodie. It counts as a T. It could have been Lilo and Stitch, or Lady and the Tramp.

An American state, Louisiana. And the fabric could have been leather. Oh. You see a lot of that in Shy Guy's cupboard. You don't go away empty-handed though, Jodie. You get $100 to spend at People Hair Care. That is all yours. Beautiful. Thank you very much. Thank you, Jodie. Thank you for ending the drought

and giving us our dose of Jodie. Our Jodie dose. Thank you, Jodie. Thank you for ending the drought and giving us our dose of Jodie. Dose of Jodie. Our Jodie dose. Our Jodie dose. A shot of Jodes. Oh, I can go on with my day now. Me too. Have a good one, guys.

You too, Jodie. Bye-bye, Jodie. Okay. Jodie would like to go. All right. Farewell. Goodbye, Jodie. Never mind.

Until next time. Until we drink you next time, Jodie. A tall, cool glass of Jodie. We got the whole next. Oh, yeah. People go nuts for a Charizard. Charizard was my favourite Pokemon.

Yeah, I was a big fan of, you know me, Snorlax. You were Bulbasaur. Snorlax, yeah. Shy Guy was Bulbasaur. And Jigglypuff. Big fan of Jigglypuff. Huge Jigglypuff. All the big sleepy ones. Shy Guy likes ciderbasaur. And Jigglypuff. Yeah, yeah. Big fan of Jigglypuff. Huge Jigglypuff. All the big sleepy ones. Shy Guy likes cider. We know that.

And Squirtle. Don't forget about Squirtle. Yeah, yeah. Squirtle. Grow up. Anyway, we're talking about really expensive Pokemon. What Pokemon do you like, Babs? She's Yu-Gi-Oh.

Mewtwo. Oh, you-Oh. Mewtwo. Oh, you would be a Mewtwo. No, you're a Pikachu gal. Oh, lame. Use the mic at any time. Use the mic at any time. Is she nodding again? Like last time when she was just nodding at me?

I thought you were just not saying anything. Okay, your mic's not working. You're now locked in for Mewtwo. Anyway, someone has paid a ridiculous amount of money. Yes. Not even for a Pokemon. Car, Ducker. You're not going to believe the shape that Charizard has been created in. Anyway, someone has paid a ridiculous amount of money. Yes. Not even for a Pokemon card, Ducker.

You're not going to believe the shape that Charizard has been created in. Jess and Ducker. Tell us how much you've paid for something when it comes to a collectible, maybe memorabilia, maybe you're Indiana Jones' biggest fan and Harrison Ford had that hat up for auction. You thought, I'm remortgaging the house. I need it. I know movie memorabilia. People go nuts for it.

They do. You would pay a pretty penny for the Elder Wand if that were to become on sale. Oh, yeah. I'd go nuts for it. I'm sure you would get into it. I don't have any cool memorabilia. I'm not paid much for things like that.

I'm not a collector. You're not a collector. And I know it's a niche realm. I want to start getting into sports jerseys that are signed and whatnot. I go to auctions every now and then if I'm emceeing and there's some really cool jerseys. I'm like, I don't want to let that slip. I can see you, though, paying a pretty penny for a brilliantly signed, and it's all for a good cause actually, but it's behind glass. And you go, I'm going to take that out of the glass. I'm going to wear that. I'm going to run around the backyard and tackle some things.

A framed jersey is one of the great confusions for me. You're paying all that money. I appreciate you don't want to ruin it, but also it's just going to sit in your living room. It looks so good. All the signatures. That was the jersey where they won it on the final. I'd want to get that thing out and about.

Check this out. Check this out. Yeah. Then it loses its value. Probably would lose its value. And the idea is, I guess, then you resell in maybe a decade's time. Or it's your kid's inheritance. So $13,060, how much have you paid for a collectible or some sort of memorabilia?

Or what have you got? Or what have you got? I'm going to take what have you got. Maybe you won it in a charity auction or something like that. People are going absolutely bonkers on eBay, Daco. We love eBay. It's a great place to resell memorabilia and collectibles for a Pokemon. Now, we know people love their Charizard.

It's obviously the final form. The way you say it is so funny. I love hitting the eye with Charizard. What's the little guy when he's the little form? Charmeleon. Yes. Charmander. Charmander.

And then Charmeleon, then Charizard. That's right. So he's obviously the big boy. Babs is judging us so hard. I wish her mind was working because she's out there like golden eyes. I'm sorry we didn't go up in Vampire Diaries talking and you sound old as shit. I asked Babs what she's watching the other day. She goes, I'm re-watching Vampire Diaries.

Sorry we're not as cool as you. And some of us grew up on Pokemon. You know what Babs would rather do? Drop things on her toes. That's more fun. Absolutely right. Pokemon was a hell of a time. Some of us grew up on Pokemon. You know what Babs would rather do? Drop things on her toes. That's more fun. Touche. Absolutely right. Pokemon was a hell of a time.

It was a hell of a time. When you get a Game Boy and you have to pick between the red, the blue or the green Pokemon. What did you always like to start with? Always Charmander. Always Charmander. Yes. I think I was a Bulbasaur because I always liked the color green. Earth.

But I didn't like when he grew up into that big one. He was a bit scary. Yeah, Venusaur. Yeah. What's that? Your memory. I'm loving this for me. I was a huge Pokemon kid, if you can't tell.

My PT and I got into Fisticuffs the other day because I thought he had a Ninetales Pokemon Jizzbit. He went, no, it's not. And he tried to say it was from some other universe. I went, that is a freaking Pokemon. He's like, I bought it. I know what it is. Anyway.

Sorry. Enough about the Pokemon sidebars. eBay. People are going nuts for about the Pokemon sidebars. eBay. People are going nuts for a Charizard-shaped Cheeto. What, like an actual chip? Like the chip. They've pulled one out of the packet, and it looks like Charizard. Here, I've got it for you.

They've dubbed it Cheeto-zard. Oh, wow. It really does. That is a fluke of chemistry. That really does. That is a fluke of food science That really does. That is a fluke of food science. How much are people paying for that? So the current bid, the auction is going to end 1st of March.

Crap, you've only got a couple of days. Come on, Shago. That's Saturday. I'm not bidding on that. Come on, mate. The current top bid is $2,100. People are paying thousands of dollars. But for a Cheeto that-

For a Cheeto that- We talked about Pokemon cards a long ago. Remember, there's like a black market of people trying to steal them and sell them, and they're still worth big bucks somehow. Big bucks. And they're just cards, which whilst rare, anyone can get their hands on, this is a one in a billion. It's a Cheetosard.

So $2,100 is the current bid. It looks good. Apparently... Because the thing is, that can break so easily. So easily. Do you even... You can't put that behind glass. You must have to have it in some sort of museum style cube so you can see it from every angle. Anyway, I hate to get peckish one night.

Not even the highest selling Cheeto. Back in 2017, remember Harambe the gorilla? Yeah. That kid fell into the enclosure and they shot Harambe. Yeah, free Harambe. There was that whole thing about justice for Harambe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's always looking down on us. Someone pulled a Cheeto out that they shot Harambe. Yeah, free Harambe. And there was that whole thing about justice for Harambe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was always looking down on us.

Someone pulled a Cheeto out that looked like Harambe. Oh, my God. Sold on eBay for 100 grand. Stop it. Someone has too much money. We need to get Cheetos. Let's get a packet of Cheetos and we'll all rifle through and see if we can fuck things. Cheetos?

Aren't they balls? Yeah. What's the difference? Or are Cheetos the long, noodley ones? I thought twisties were, and then Cheetos were little balls as well. I agree. Unless it's in the UK. Cheetos come in a few different forms.

There's Cheeto Puffs, and then there's Cheeto Balls. Oh, so we need to get Puffs. I think Puffs are more likely to get one of these shapes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually a great idea. Let's buy a couple of packets, filter through them, and then go, well, this one looks like Harambe. This one looks like Cheetos.

How quickly do you reckon Jess goes? This one looks like Snorlax. Jess will go, this one looks like meambe. This one looks like Cheetos art. How quickly do you reckon Jess goes? This one looks like Snorlax. Jess will go, this one looks like me, don't you think? I'll put it on eBay. Someone would pay. Look at its hair. My husband makes an anonymous account just to make me feel good. Oh, honey, it sold for $100.

Yeah. Do you feel good? Do you feel good? Yes, I do. Anyway. $13,060. $100,000. $2,100.

This is for Cheetos in the shape of stuff. How much have you paid for a collectible? Yes. For memorabilia? What have you got? How much did you pay? And what's your favourite Pokemon? You must call and get your own name.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. $13,1060. How much did you pay for something? Specifically Pokemon? Yeah, Pokemon, collectibles, maybe sports memorabilia. There's an eBay bidding war happening for a Charizard-shaped Cheeto. Charizard.

It's not edible. It just looks like Charizard, the Pokemon. And if Babs rolls her eyes one more time... Three times she's just done it in that chat, in that sentence. It's an absolutely unbelievable likeness, this Cheeto. But yeah, $2,100 is the current bid. We're looking at what other people

have paid for collectibles, for memorabilia. Someone paid for a Harambe, that gorilla that got shot in its enclosure a couple of years ago. A valet Harambe. $100,000 for a Cheeto shaped like Harambe. So it's always chips or Cheetos that are shaped like something. Totally.

It's like when you see the people who have like a triple yolk or a triple yolk in the eggs and then they share it online. They go, I'm going to have a good day today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we asked for how much you've paid. Have you got some sports memorabilia or a collectible item? Belle's called through with something to do with Pokemon. Yes, the Pokemon conversation continues.

Hi, Belle. Hi, guys. How are you? Yeah, good. I can't believe Babs put you through because she's really anti-Pokemon. But what's going on in your world? Well, my son started a little business back in January. He's always loved Pokemon, Digimon and all that sort of stuff.

So he's called The Vault of Cards on Instagram. And the other day he sold a card. It's like a booster and for $1,300. $1,300 for a card? For one card, yep. How old is he? He's 28. Wow.

So has he been collecting these cards in the hope that he gets a pretty good one and then he can on-sell it? Yes. So he buys a pack and he's got to go through the pack and whatever is the biggest seller he puts up on his vault of cards on Instagram. And people want them. And then they go through and buy it. Wow.

So you've got to look through the pack. I'm looking now, the vault of the cards on Instagram. Our website is now stocked up with pictures. He doesn't get one. How much does a pack cost him? Like what's the initial cost for him? I'm not quite sure on that. A lot, but not too much.

Not $1,300? He's making a good profit margin. He's making a good profit. And then he drives into Brisbane on a Friday night and they all have card games and stuff. So it's pretty big with all the nerds and stuff. Your words, Belle. Pretty good all the nerds. Your babs words, Belle? Yeah, pretty good with all the nerds.

Your babs just come through there. Belle's son's showing. She's like, God, you're a loser. Anyway, I'll take the money. I got $1,300. Not bad. Not bad, son. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk.

Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box. So you should be. It's an elite company you're in. It is Shy Guy Dips, the cereal edition, doing this all for 2025. This is, jeez, it's a good time to be alive. Absolutely.

Australia's only and favourite cereal game. Every time I go to the cereal aisle now in my grocery store, I just get excited. I don't even need to go down the cereal aisle half the time, but I do it. I just peruse. I go, look at all these choices. See what's there.

See what's there. Sean has paranoid people tracking him in his grocery stores now. That's right. He went to the shops the other day incognito. Oh, yeah. Groucho Marx glasses with the big fake nose. I thought he was robbing them. The guy's 6'4", the size of a string bean.

That didn't raise any eyebrows. It's all right. He's all okay. The 16-year-old security guard's too busy worried about thievery. Thievery, yeah. Let him just do his thing. Slender man. We've got a box of cereals.

You've got to guess what it is. Today's exciting because not only do you win a sandbox of cereal and you go into a leak company, we're going to give you a jizz bit as well. Whoa! I think we're going to throw a jizz bit in there. Someone tried to tug on my heartstrings the other day, sent me a photo of their little maybe four-year-old girl in her bear Crocs. Hey Jess, Madeline needs a jizz bit.

Very appreciative that they use the correct terminology for her Crocs. I went, don't you be sending me your cute kid trying to wrangle a jizz bit from me. I went, don't do that. No jizz bit for Madeline. No, that's not. That's not. You can't be usurping the people who are playing our games. Yeah.

Getting jizz bits fair and square. But that is the opportunity that stands in front of you today. Shy Guy, the first clue please. It is a one-worded cereal. No. That narrows it down. One-worded cereal, $13.1060. First cab off the rank gets another clue as well on top of that.

Of course, of course. $13.1060. Yep. What's in Shy Guy's box? Give us a call. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Welcome to Shy Guy Dips

I reckon producers shy guys having a glass of milk Glass of milk and a little biscuit aren't you My milk, my milk, my milk Shy Guy Dips I'm so excited I want Shy Guy's box It's the only opportunity you have today to walk away

with a free box of cereal a Jess and Ducko fridge magnet that'll cover the entire fridge door, and, for the first time ever, a bespoke Jess and Duggo cheese bit for your crocs. Yeah, this is exciting. Let alone the glory of knowing you are an elite pool of people who can decipher shy guy's clues. He's not good at clue-giving. Many skills. Clues is not one of them.

Certainly not describing things. He has told us so far it is a one-worded cereal. We've got a Natale on 131060. Good morning, Natale. Good morning. How are you going? Babe, we are so good. You get a supplementary clue.

Right. All right, your next clue is there's two colours. On the box or of the cereal? Within the cereal. Oh, that's another clue. Oh, I'm just kidding. Is it Cheerios? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. How, Natalia, did you get Cheerios from that? I don't know. Aren't they slightly different colours? It is Cheerios. Oh, my God. It is Cheerios. That's a one in game. That's a first. We've never had that. Not thisio. Oh, my God. It is cheerio. That's a one in game.

That's a first. We've never had that. Not this year. Holy hell. And then, Tali, did you come in with a preloaded answer? Yeah, I had Nutri-Grain, but as I said it, then I'm driving and I'm thinking, really, is it Nutri-Grain or is it Nutri-Grain? Like, is that two words?

So true. And she has given it away. Wow, wow. One of our biggest gripes with this game is we give a great clue like that, we, Shy Guy does, and people stay locked on their tracks. Yeah, they can't help. Even though it completely goes against the new information. Natalie, that is a masterclass.

Now, Natalie, I don't think we've had you on our show before. I'm not sure if you're the first time caller. Was it the jizz bits that got you across the line? I was just about to say, the other day when you were talking about this, because I've come out of retirement and helping a friend going to work, so I'm listening in the mornings again, and my husband has worn Crocs before Crocs were a thing. Our kids hated them and didn't want to go out with him.

He actually steals a young fella's jizz bits when we go camping and they hide them from each other. He's like 60 and he's 15. So I can't wait to give him this jizz bit. Oh, that's great. She's done it. It's going to go to a great home. For the hubby.

Yeah. An early adopter of the croc. That's hilarious. He must have had the whole world against him when he first put these things on his feet. Oh, that's funny. And he had going out crocs and staying at home crocs. And I'd be like, mate, crocs aren't a going out thing. Wow. I agree. It's formal crocs. Natalia. Oh, that's funny. If you had going out Crocs and staying at home Crocs, then I'd be like, mate, Crocs aren't a going out thing to sleep at home.

Yeah, I agree. It's formal Crocs. Natalia. Oh, that's awesome. And, you know, she's out of retirement, so now back into the morning routine with Jay and Dee. You're going to get rice cooker, Jess and Darko juice bit. That is all yours.

Natalia. You've won a box of Cheerios. You've won a fridge bag. Oh, yeah, do you even like Cheerios? Well, I have grandchildren, so when they come over, I'll just leave them in the cupboard for them. Got everything covered here. Trust me, they'll never go off.

I had so many great clues too. Oh, sorry. He's upset you got it first go. She's polite. She's vibrant. She might win the freaking Hall of Fame as well. Will you, Jess, will you please tell Natalia what we do now? Natalia.

Yeah. Oh, my God. You've obviously heard the game before. So what we need from you, and I know she's going to be a one-take wonder because she's just proven herself to be. Natale. Yeah. Oh, my God. You've obviously heard the game before. So what we need from you, and I know she's going to be a one-take wonder. I think so. Because she's just proven herself to be. Yeah. Natale, we need the most passionate exclamation from you.

Hi, my name's Natale, and I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's box. Go. Okay. Hi, I'm Natale, and I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's box. We just need the my name. Hi, I'm Natale, and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's Box. We just need the my name. Yeah, no.

It's got to be word for word. She can't fluke it twice in a row. It's all right. Hi, my name's Natale, and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's Box. Go! Hi, my name's Natale, and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's Box. Yeah! She's missed for everyone!

Jess and Ducko. At a risk of doubling down on the theory some of my friends are scared of me, I needed to get your opinion on a situation I found myself in. Do you want to come to Banana Grahams for 35 minutes on Tuesday? Oh, we'll be doing it for longer than 35 if you're coming around. At least an hour, 35. I wanted to get a couple of games in. Yeah, we'll be doing it for longer than 35 if you're coming around. At least an hour 35. I wanted to get a couple of games in. Yeah, of course.

So nice having my mum here because she loves games as much as I do and is happy to sit quietly with a glass of white wine and just play bananas. And she's probably the only person on the planet who's not scared of you. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Anyway.

Some very dear friends of ours are having a baby shower this weekend, Ducco. Yes. And I hope you and Morgan have felt this from me also. Mm-hmm. Love to help my friends. Absolutely. I've just texted your wife, actually,

and this is not the first time I have offering my services. To help, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she very kindly, at least Morgan, went, no, we're all good. Like, you've got both mothers coming down. Yep. She's obviously got other friends. And I'm like, I want to help. You want to do something, yeah.

I don't know. One of my love languages, I think, is trying to hustle stuff. It's kind of like gift giving, I suppose. I guess. Having a nice table decoration or a game or something I can facilitate. Can I go pick up the food? Whatever it might be. Yes.

I want to help. So I've offered the same thing to some friends having their baby shower this weekend. And they very happily took me up on the offer of putting together a cheese board. Oh, that's a, that's a, if anyone can do that, you can. Thank you very much. I feel like I've established myself over the past two years at least. I would trust you with that. I put together a good spread.

So I said, is there anything I can do in regards to food? What sort of food are you having? They went, look, it's only going to be a couple of hours in the Arvo. We were thinking charcuterie would be enough for our guests. I went, sis, come on. I nominate, I volunteer as tribute. Having said that, I think as the words left my friend's mouth taking me up on that offer, I have now started rattling off, right, how many people? What are we doing? What are we doing?

What are we thinking? What sort of array do you want? Are we doing something pretty? Heck, is this the only food? And as we're rattling off these very legitimate questions, I could see her eyes sort of glazing over like, how much is this going to cost me? Because, you know, I don't do anything by halves.

No, no, no, no. And particularly for people I love. It'll be a deluxe bougie cheese board. You may as well have just got full catering. Yeah, I think that's where we're landing because I am very happy to – that'll be my contribution. I might not get a gift. Yeah, but you pay for that.

So this will be my contribution. And cheese boards, they're very expensive. Well, they can be, you know. Yeah, for sure. Do we do some from the deli? Do we do a bit from Aldi? Do we do it from Woolies? Like, we can work around it, but I can't do anything by heart.

So I'm sort of like for that many people and no other canapes or they're not doing a big lunch, we're going to need to go above and beyond not having enough food, cardinal sin. And if this is the only thing. So I have peppered my friend over the past week, question after question, plan after plan, and she's like, yeah, I can feel the tone in the text messages going, how do I take this job offer and maybe give it to someone a little more? You should just come and be a guest now.

You should just be relaxed. So where do you land? Are you paying for it? So I think anything above and beyond, I need to take a step back and go, right, well, that's my contribution. We don't need, you know, they're having a little boy. That is public knowledge. So any sort of little...

You're going to get little Cheerios for peens. You know, I want to make little things for the table and anything bespoke where I'm going to now reject shops. You know what you should do? Get the Cheerios for the peen and get the cheese cubes for the balls. And so you can have like little, you can put little peens everywhere. I love that. Well, I was thinking of rolling the prosciutto to make that the length.

Oh, I see. Yes. And then getting the little boccaccinis. Because you've said the most Aussie things. See my value versus your value. I'm going through my own fridge and I'm like, okay, we could use the ghost cheese. And he's going, right. Now we've got no food left.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. So I just want to put it out there. When I do offer my friends services, just be wary. It might go above and beyond what you expect as, you know, standard. What have Morgan and I said to you every time we offer your help? Well, Morgan hasn't replied this time, so we'll see what she says this time.

My mum's listening now. She just sent me that message. Oh, well, perfect. Oops. Are we still going to continue? Yeah, we'll press on. Okay, cool. I was going to say, I don't have anything to pivot to.

Yeah, we can. I hadn't been listening lately because I've been jet lagged. Oh, no, they're back into rhythm. Blood has been in the water. We can talk about Trump's toe-sucking again if you want to get her off the scent. Okay, so they ducked over to India. They had an interesting trip, but they had a good trip. It's an adventurous place. It is. Very much out of the comfort zone. Yeah. But they came back and their mum got us gifts. She still comes back and was really nice getting us

presents. That's nice. But what she got me and Morgan and what she got my sisters, very different things. What did you and Morgan get? A little elephant statue. And we got a rug for the baby. I presume it's like a rug that the baby, I don't know what mum said it was for. I guess like, you know. Like a rug for the floor? Yeah, like lying on a play mat vibe. It can go over the play mat.

You can wash it, whatever. Oh, that's nice. I can't remember what animal it had on it. Maybe it was jellyfish. You would have hated it. I think it was jellyfish. Anyway, it was cute. Sorry, what's jellyfish got to do with India? I don't know.

I thought you were going to say, there's an elephant on the rug. That feels very Indian to me. Maybe even a monkey. Oh, that would have been nice. A jellyfish? It was cute, though. Are you going for an aquatic theme in your baby shower? Because I've got you something and it's not aquatic. Not at all. It was nice, though. I'm like, oh, this is cool. Thank you. Did you not know you like meerkats?

Meerkat would have been great. Then we went to my sister's place where mum got them their presents, right? My sister has four kids. And then mum got, for some reason, both my sisters, like, the laciest, sexiest G-string you can find. Like, see-through at the front, like, lace at the back, couple of straps going on, like pink. Some people come back with souvenirs from their travels. Fridge magnet, Yeah. Little ornament. My Grammy went to India and all I got was this t-shirt.

Yes. Now your mum's coming home with lingerie. Yeah, so here's Morgan and Ducker. You have a baby, Matt. Abby and Laura, you two get sexy knickers. I appreciate that your older sister, four children. Yeah. Maybe your mum's a bit worried about a lack of romance.

Spice up. They're in the humdrum monotony of every day. It's chaos. I know what's going to help my baby girl. Sexy G-banger. Sexy G-banger. When I think India, I also think G-banger. Yeah, I know. Weird, right?

But then mum did it like she gave my little sister it to us on the Friday night in front of us. So like we saw it and then her boyfriend was there and he's like, oh, okay. Like that classic awkward moment. And then when we went to my older sister's house with her kids, she gave it to her and then Abby held it out. Does your mum do that thing of like, open it? I want to see your reaction. I want to see it. Because all the kids got presents too.

And after they got their presents, then Abby holds hers out. You could tell my older sister was very like, didn't know how to be. Like she's a pretty, she's pretty buttoned up, my sister. My older sister. I wonder what your mum was thinking. Ah, we're trying to loosen her up. Yeah, maybe. With some sexier underwear. But then one of their youngest kids, because you can see the aunties and Prue.

She's like second youngest. I don't know Prue's age. Have you noticed I haven't asked? Yeah, good. Thank you. Mum texted in. She's in grade like two or three. Sure.

Prue says, Grammy, why'd you get those aunties? You'll be able to see mummy's vagina. In front of everyone. All of us. What response? What response did Grammy give? He was just smiling and laughing. And we're like, yeah, Grammy, why did you get those?

You can see mummy's vagina. Prue knows what's up. She does. She gets it. They're not comfortable. And then Prue's looking at her knickers like my knickers you can't see anything. I've got a full brief on Grammy. You can cover everything. These ones

are, they're pointless. You can see right through the gap. Undies are meant to cover you up, Grammy. What were you thinking? What were you, why did you do this? Hold on. Oh no, Prue's six. Jess and Ducko. Alphabucks, your chance at $10,000 coming up next.

Shag, I do want to give them the letter. Oh, my God, great idea. Let's do it again. Letter is C. C. Oh, that feels good. C for courageous. Oh, courage.

Which I guess is a trait of a hero, wouldn't you say, Ducco? I would say that, yeah. And one member of this team is such a thing, and I just wanted to take 60 seconds and acknowledge the heroism that this person doesn't even realise they've bestowed upon my family, specifically my husband. He was in a pickle yesterday, Ducco. He was halfway through boiling some pasta,

having rigatoni bolognese for dinner. Well, that's mixing it up for a bit, yeah, mixing it up. Pasta for lunch and dinner. We'd had fettatoni bolognese for dinner. You're mixing it up for a bit. Yeah, mixing it up. Pasta for lunch and dinner. We'd had fettuccine bolognese the night before, so we're having rigatoni bolognese. My goodness. Last night. But halfway through boiling, you know, the pasta's going, the sauce is simmering, it's

all happening, the baby's being hectic. He gets a frantic phone call. Now, you know we're part owners of a wedding venue. Unfortunately, there's been an administrative error. People are waiting to check out the venue. It wasn't in anyone's calendars. So people are calling. What time was this?

This would have been maybe 6.45. Hilarious you say that because I was walking past that venue. Shut up. I was hosting trivia, which is near your wedding venue. Oh, my God, it is down the road. And I saw people waiting outside, like a big group of people. And I was like, what are they all doing there? And they were all sitting on the stamps wedding venue. Oh, my God, it is down the road. And I saw people waiting outside, like a big group of people, and I was like, I wonder what they're all doing there. And they were all sitting on the stamps and waiting.

Bro, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he gets this frantic call. Just unfortunately, just human error. I should let him in. All right, guys, come on in. Here we go. I should have known. You do the trivia on the Tuesday.

You were there. Yeah. I guess you don't have keys, but you could have stalled them. I was also hosting trivia. I'm sure you would have let those 120 people stew and help out your buds, Jess and Angus. Of course. So he's frantically like, crap, oh my God, you know, this is prospective bride and groom. We're going to book the venue.

Sorry, rigatonies now. Your problem, Jess. I've got to go save these people. I'm going to have to get my best schmooze on to calm this situation down. He's going to be annoyed when he rocks up. He's going to be late. This isn't a great look for the venue. No, no.

They're not there. The day they said they were going to be, they let us in, walk us through. He rolls in and Angus can turn on the charm when he needs to. Now, he throws me sort of in the mix. I think he just mentioned me and they knew me and they knew the show. But what really simmered things down was, oh, my cousin works on your show. And there's only one person

who's related to everyone we know. Babs! It's Babs! I won't say their name. They might be embarrassed. Angus came over and went, you got me out of a jam. Actually, you didn't. Babs did. I went, oh, sweet Babs. Babs, you did it.

Awesome. She's the lady. Do you know who we're talking about? No. You've got that many cousins. You've got that many cousins. They're probably on the farm with you. They're probably living in the barn.

Well, that's the thing. They travel the ways to get there. Oh, that's so funny. Want to have their wedding in town. And just when Angus said that, he went, oh, thank God. Already I thought the goodwill of a rice cooker. They'll be a fan. It'll be smooth.

They won't hold anything against the venue, against Angus for stuffing this up a little bit. And then the connection to Babs, I went, sweet. It's part of the reason we've got Babs on the team. Absolutely. She's related to so many people. Two degrees of separation between everyone and sweet Babs. Everyone likes us by association. So thank you.

No. The goodwill is all No, that's okay. You're welcome, Angus. You don't even think you know your cousins who are about to get married? No, I actually have no idea who you're talking about. That's so funny. So funny. So thank you, Babs.

No, you're welcome. Your connection and your good, positive aura has really got us out of a jam. I think they're going to book. So well done. Well done, everyone. Well done, guys. Take it up, take it up. Turn it up. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Out for the bunch. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on it.

30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're untrue to the question, just say pass. We come back if there is time. About 10 minutes ago, we gave away the letter. Naughty, naughty of us.

But we go to Lisa. Lisa, did you hear the letter? I sure did. Would you have said it's cheeky of us, Ducko? I would. Cheeky. Cheeky starting with the letter what, Lisa? C. C.

All right. Have you been furiously studying for the past 10 minutes? A little bit. Okay. All right. C is a good letter studying for the past 10 minutes? A little bit. Okay. All right. C's a good letter, though. C's pretty solid. What do you want to spend the money on today?

My parents are taking my daughter to Hong Kong, and I really want to go with them. Ooh. Okay. Well, let's pay for a trip so Lisa can join the Hong Kong adventure. Kind of honky-dangers. Oh, yeah. Is that what they call it over there?

Yeah, I'm honky. He's got his finger on the pulse. Oh, you know me. I've always been big on Hong Kong. We've got a few listeners in Hong Kong adventure. Got our honky-dangers. Oh, yeah. Is that what they call it over there? Yeah, old honkies. He's got his finger on the pulse. Oh, you know me. I've always been big with Hong Kong. We've got a few listeners in Hong Kong. Absolutely, we do. Good morning to you. And once Lisa and her family goes over there, I'm sure she'll podcast the show.

The Hong Kong dollar weaker than the Australian right now. Is it really? Jump on that. Does that mean Lisa could get more for her money? Yeah, more bang for her buck. More $10,000. Hell yeah. Come on.

All right, Lisa. The letter is C. You know that. Are you ready? Yes, let's go. Okay. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name something you have for breakfast. Cereal.

A spice. Human. A body part. Puss. A body part. Pass. A zoo animal. Oh, my God. Pass. Something you use to draw.

Colouring in pencil. An actress. Oh, pass. A vegetable. Cucumber. A three-letter word. Cue. A video game.

Pod. A dessert. Q. A video game. Cod. A dessert. A body part. Oh, man. We got through all ten. We got ourselves six. You know, I think we were warming up at the end there. It took a while to get the steam train moving,

and then the steam train started to get some momentum. Body part could have been chin, cheek, calf. there's plenty croc a chimp a cheetah an actress a chalice their honor our own kate blanchett and a dessert could have been cake cupcake cheesecake cream brulee there's a few there man ah well look we don't we don't go away do you have to have to also spend at people hair care that is all yours lisa all right thank you thank you for joining the show, Lisa. Appreciate you. Thanks, guys.

Bye. Play again tomorrow at 6.30 and 8. And we might even give the letter away again somewhere. Maybe. Yeah, it could be a podcast thing. Hey, that's a nice idea. Or we could do it during the show tomorrow morning if you're listening nice and early.

Ooh, I like that. Yeah, I like that. Join us from 6. Yeah. Jess and Zucko. 13, 10, 16. Oh, baby, it's lame. When did you realise you were lame? Or when did you realise you'd become an adult? Join us from six. Yeah. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 16. Oh, baby, it's lame.

When did you realise you were lame, or when did you realise you'd become an adult? Obviously, Morgan is 32 weeks pregnant. She is six days away from mat leave. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting weird. How exciting. Yeah, it's starting to heat up now. Is she working every day?

Working every day. The belly's starting to get to that point where it's really starting to get elongated and popping out. Yes, and dropping. She's feeling it low. Yeah, yeah. Peeing every two minutes. Yeah, boobies are dropping. Everything's dropping.

It's dropping. Ready for this baby to drop. Gravity's taking control. Yes. And she's uncomfortable and doing a great job. But one thing we did read a while ago is that sometimes really loud noises and sound can be bad for the baby in the stomach. I have not heard that before. So supposedly 105 decibels is probably the max you should go.

Some people go as far as not going to the movies and stuff with surround sound. We're not like no and all that. Wow. I think that's probably a bit much, but each to their own. However, we realized- Don't try and act like you're cool. We'd gone to a DJ set over New Year's. Yeah, you did New Year's.

I saw Morgan on a table. Yeah, yeah, and it was loud. Having a great time. And I found out after I panicked and doomsday Googled and Morgan obviously... So we found 105 is the appropriate decibels, right? And then on the weekend at the wedding, my Apple Watch has a decibel noise reader. Now the Apple Watch, not your whoop. Not my whoop, no.

You kept your Apple Watch on. I kept my Apple Watch on. And that can a decibel noise reader. Now, the Apple Watch, not your whoop. Not my whoop, no. You kept your Apple Watch on. I kept my Apple Watch on. And that can do decibel readings. And we're in this little room, which is like the dance floor room, and it was loud in there. And Morgan and me are dancing away, and I was like, Jesus, it's feeling loud. So I get my decibels up.

And you're stone-cold sober because you'd emceed, been best man. You're not drunk enough to not be conscientious of your surroundings. Exactly. Oh, and Morgan, of course, is stone-cold sober. She's completely sober. She's man. You're not drunk enough to not be conscientious of your surroundings. Exactly. Oh, and Morgan, of course, is stone cold sober. She's complete sober. It's pregnant. You know.

And so then I check the decibels and it's like 98. And then it's like every now and then 106. And Morgan sees me looking down. She like waddles over. And we both looked down at my watch and we looked at each other like, we need to find a quieter patch. And so we'd move to the back of the room. Is there a pillar we can stand behind?

Where's the physics of the room? Morgan's covering her belly with her arms. Like, that'll make a difference. Like, that'll murmur it. Give me your jacket. You were wearing velvet. That's a good noise. Block it out.

Block everything out. And then we'd be like, okay, we'll only be in here for a couple of minutes and we'll go outside and we'll come back. And then she'd stay at the back of the room and I'd come up and monitor them and I'd go to the front. So there's just me on the D floor at my best friend's wedding, walking to the front next to the speaker going, it's 110 down here.

Don't come. This is a no-go zone. You're like the old codgers going up to complain. It's too loud. Look at my decibel. Turn it down. I've never felt more responsible and lame. Even my parents are like, what are you doing?

And it's, you know, we're reading the decibels on my Apple Watch so the baby doesn't have hearing issues in the future. He's becoming a daddy. The things you do for the safety of your child even before they're here. I know. That is amazing. It's commendable, but boy, it's lame. It's lame.

It's so lame. It's a feature I never really use on the Apple Watch, but I've been pumping it lately. This is a dumb, this is, you're obviously the expert now in unborn children hearing. Yes. Is it permeating the uterus? Like it's going through the sound waves?

I have no idea. Or is it going through Morgan's eardrums? No, I think it's permeating. I think it's the sound waves through the belly, through the uterus. And it's like 105 is meant to be the max they can withstand. And also, I think it's amount of time you're up there too. Oh, exposure, of course. Yeah, yeah.

Because then you also hear playing music to the baby in the womb is good. It can actually act as a soothing mechanism once they're out because they're familiar with that particular song. This baby's been to two concerts, one boiler room, one festival, a country. We were doing it at the country festival as well, but that wasn't as loud. Of course, outdoor. Outdoor, a bit further. That was like, oh, we're sitting at 93.

We're sitting pretty. Pretty pretty. Didn't go too close to the mosque bit, though. And now at a wedding. And so, yeah, I just, it was one of those really, we looked at each other at the wedding. If you and I were in the same room, you'd probably have to check the decibel readings because we can carry on.

We can get loud. But no, it was a real eye-opening, like, man, we're becoming adults. This is lame. And with that comes some responsibility and some lameness. Exactly. All for the betterment of the kid, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's wonderful. It was very funny. The king of casual chaos is dead. I know. There ain't no casual chaos here. Decibel readings. 13, 10, 60. When did you realize you were over the hill?

You were lame. You were a parent. You were a grown up. You were a grown up. Make me feel better. Or do you read decibels? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. We're discussing being a loser. Or do you read decibels? Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco.

We're discussing being loser. We're going lame. The other way to describe it is responsible grown-up behavior. Yes. From you, though, it feels like a fall from grace. It does. It's just very out of character for me. But also, is your new character unlocked?

Well, yeah, I'm going to be such a softie. For the baby, we read some stuff. Do you reckon you'll be helicopter-y? I don't think so. That's not in my nature. It's not in your nature, but I wouldn't have thought checking decibels was either. Well, it wasn't until we took her to a boiler room

and then I realised that that can have bad implications on your child's hearing. Yeah, yeah, I didn't even think of that. No. Now, the boiler room I must admit was weeks and weeks ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one was a bit more, you know, we're 31 weeks when this happened, 32 now, so we were checking.

You've done the 3D scan. She's like a full person. Yeah. She's got like a little nose and face now. Wild. And little ears. Little ears. They can hear things.

So we're checking my decibel reader on my Apple Watch to basically monitor the sound volume to make sure it wasn't preceding 105 or Morgan wasn't near it. Can we turn down Bob Sinclair, please, DJ? That's enough of him, please. So we asked them 13, 10, 60, when did you realize you were lame? Are you reading decibels for your kid? What are you up to? We go to Jazz.

Jazz, it sounds like you did the same thing as me. Yeah, I did, 100%. So we were at the Tim McGraw concert in 2019. I was seven months pregnant, and it was almost like he'd just started and my husband looked at me and was like, this is too loud. We need to leave. So I was like, what? He was like, it's too loud.

The baby's going to be deaf. We have to go. So you were in a big stadium jazz and it was still too loud. The audio was too good. It was enclosed roof and it was so loud. So we went and sat out like where you buy drinks from. Oh, the concession stand. Yeah, and he was like, oh, this is kind of better.

And then he was like, no, it's too loud. We have to go. So we ended up leaving. Wow. It was like maybe 40 minutes to go because he was just like, the baby's going to come out deaf. We can't take you, Jazz. You've got to go.

It is a worrying thing, is it? I didn't realize it, Jazz, initially. But at an open-air venue, it's a bit better, but when it's enclosed. Yes. It was so loud. Like, you could feel it in your chest. It was so loud.

You should have tweeted, Tim. Tim, can you turn it down, please? Oh, I should have. That was a good idea. But he's five now and definitely not deaf. Okay, good. He's loud. He's good.

It's because you left. Everything's fine. You did well. Also, great feature on the Apple Watch. I never knew I needed. Truly. I wonder if a parent put that feature in. Yeah.

Yeah. Jenny, good morning. Hi, how are you going? Yeah, wonderful, Jenny. Have you had a moment where you've gone, God, I'm lame? Yeah, when I moved into my current rental and I had a Hills Hoist. Oh, yes. Oh, fantastic.

You got excited about the Hills Hoist. Oh, my goodness, yeah. My last year rentals had those stupid little ones on the side of the house that could hold nothing. Yes. And I even got an Instagram post about my Hills Hoist. She's gone old school. Did you have a fun caption with it?

Like, what did you go? I think I did have a caption, feel grown up. Oh, that is lame when you don't. Just to bring it back, she plays Goon of Fortune on the week. Just puts her goon bag attached with a peg. Make me feel younger again. Absolutely. Hills hoist, though.

What an invention. Very Australian. Well done, Jenny. Thank you. Catherine on 131060. When did you realize you were lame or getting old, Catherine? Hi, guys. How are you going?

Wonderful, Kath. Wonderful. Okay. So I've got many, you know, oh, God, I'm lame, such an adult moment. But ones that stick out are when I go to Kmart and I get all excited about buying matching towels. Oh, I love that. We're getting a bath sheet, the shower towel, and then the hand towel matching. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And just color as well, just color coding as well. And just getting rid of all the mismatched towels. And also, sorry? Oh, no, you go, you go. Yeah. Also, when I get my kids to school on time, that's a winning moment for me.

She's just fist pumping the air as she leaves the drop-off, being like, I am killing it. There is something special when you get new towels, though, and then you get out of the shower and you look at the new towel and you go, I'm about to wipe my body with this. Oh, absolutely. This is going to be fantastic. This is fresh and I deserve it.

Oh, yeah. This fluffy boy is all over me. Is that getting you going, Catherine? Jess and Zucko. We did this a couple of months ago. That's right. Maybe even last year was last year. It might have been last year.

We had a lot of fun with it. So when Mum visited over the weekend, I sat her down. We played Bananagrams for a good amount of time. I went, all right. Loosened her up. Enough funny buggers. Yeah, plied her with a nice white wine we'd pinched from lunch earlier that day. Didn't finish the bottle.

I went, I'm going to save this. Lick her up nice and good. Obviously, drink responsibly before you record anyone. Nah, don't. But I got her to have a listen to some of our favourite songs on the playlist at the moment, Ducko. And one little wild card. And in her own words, describe for you what's happening in the song. She's on your side. She's doing her best. I also had the lyrics in front of her so she's very particular and reading the words. She's doing her best. I also had the lyrics in front of her, so she's very particular

and, you know, reading the words, she really took it all in. Yep. But it's interesting to see if you can get in my mum's head. So she's not singing the song, she's describing. She's not singing, she's describing the lyrics, what's happening, the story. Look, she gives her personal take on a lot of the songs, so let's see if that helps you

or hinders you. Okay. But here is song one. What song is my mum trying to describe? I must say a very catchy song. I really, really like it. So this starts off with emojis, something progressed from a smiley face. So I'll leave that to your imagination and putting out the invite to collaborate in a very, very friendly way. Emojis, collaboration, friendliness. And catchy.

She said catchy. She's catchy. I'm trying to think because at first I thought apatay, you know. You should lock that in. That is absolutely the point. How the hell did you get that? Well, when she said catchy, I was like, oh, it's going to be Apatay. But then she said emojis, and I was like.

So, as I said, I had the lyrics up. The first line Rosé sings is kissy face, kissy face. So she read kissy face. She's like, I know that's an emoji. Ducko knows emoji. That threw me. That threw me. The catchy part.

Apatay is catchy. Catchy. And yes, reading into, we'll get together, collaborate. Yeah, okay. So there's Arpate. Well done. He's on the board. Okay, we're on early.

Here is song two. They're extremely compatible, making each other very, very happy. In a room in a house where usually you slumber, but there's not a lot of sleeping happening. Let's just say it's not the room where you would cook up a spaghetti bolognese. So it's not the kitchen. It's not the kitchen. It's not the kitchen, Lisa.

That is the fourth time spaghetti bolognese has been brought up today from a Farchione. What song is my mum trying to describe there, Ducco? So it's a sexy song. Oh, Bed Cam. Yeah. Yes. Yes, Sabrina Carpenter. Yes.

Well done. You're in her head. I'm in. You're in her head. You're both eating a wee spa. You're in her head. Oh, yeah. Here's song three. This is about a vivacious, thrill-seeking young person performing at a venue.

And she's acknowledging in this song that her mama won't be that thrilled. But, as I said, she's living her dream. And good on her. Her mum won't be thrilled. Oh, Pink Pony Club. Pink Pony Club, because she's going to a strip club. Yes! I don't think my mum knows Pink Pony Club

is a strip club, but obviously Chapel Roan's lyrics about my mum just having fun. Yes. Well done. He's three from three. Wow. Now, Duck, I'll give you a clue here.

Is this a wild card? This is the wild card. I don't even think you needed that clue. My mum, I think, does very well explaining this. This is all gobbledygook to me. No idea what he's going on about. So he makes reference to, I think, another rapper.

And I don't like the way he references female dogs in this. And what the hell is... Not like us? It's absolutely... Kendrick, super old joke. Now, we don't play this. No, we don't.

For obvious reasons, but I thought... We've got the super clean in it. The topical nature of Kendrick. That's good. I had to throw in, she had not heard it. This is all gobbledygook to me. I had it up on Spotify, and she went, I can't make it out. So we got the lyrics.

She knows Drake. She's up with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she didn't like it. She's a huge Drake fan, not a Kendrick fan. She wasn't happy with all the blasphemy. All the blasphemy. He doesn't want you to take the Lord's name in vain, Kendrick.

What about the A minor? She's a God-fearing woman. Of course. She was clutching her pearls. She didn't like it. Her and Babs were shook. Well, you are four from four. Can you make it a clean sweep?

Are we going back to the playlist now? This is back to the playlist. Your final song interpreting Lisa Faccione. This is really easy. All I have to say for this one is you just can't bloody win. You're either too hot, too cold, too perfect, and there's just no pleasing this dumbass. Oh.

She's not happy. You just can't bloody win. Yeah, can't. Now, is she talking about the song, not the artist? Too hot, too cold. You're too hot or you're too cold. You're too perfect, you're too imperfect. There's no pleasing this dumbass.

Oh, and it's a current song we're playing? It is a current song. You have back announced it many a time, but maybe you haven't taken the lyrics in. No, it's hard. They all sort of wash over. Yeah, for five from five, Ducco, can you interpret? I know.

Because I was thinking you put a country song in there. No, I didn't do country. There's no country in there. No, no. I'm leaning towards Gracie Abrams. You're in the territory. Okay. You're in the realm.

It's not Gracie. Who else? Oh, man. So it's not Sabrina. We found Sabrina. You're in the realm. You are flirting with it. It's not Taylor. No, you're flirting. It can't be abracadabra. We haven? Oh, man. So it's not Sabrina. We found Sabrina. You're in the realm. You are flirting with it. It's not Taylor.

No, you're flirting. It can't be abracadabra. We haven't played it today. Oh, damn. It's right there. Who's someone else we play all the time? Who's another artist we play all the time? She's not particularly tidy.

As in like attractive? No. I'm sorry. She's not particularly tidy. She's not particularly hygienic. She's not particularly tidy. She's not particularly hygienic. She's not particularly... Clean? Yep.

She's not... Clean? Yep. She, in fact, is... Yes. Dirty. Messy. Oh, Lola Young!

Lola Young! I'm too messy. I'm too messy and then I'm too clean. You told me to get a job and then you asked where I'd be. It's the hot and cold, the push and pull. I haven't listened to the lyrics of this enough. Yes, it's very, you wanted this and I did it, but then you're upset. So now I'm like this, but then you're not happy with that.

It's funny when she breaks it down analytically. Yes, and because she has the lyrics in front of her, she's really diced. We just hear the start and the end of these songs all the time. That's so funny. But you did very well, my friend. I speak to Lisa Faccione. She was very nervous to do that, hence the lubrication. Yeah, she did a great job.

But I think she nailed that. So can you text her? Because she was very nervous about doing it. She's like, why can't your father do it? I'm like, he can do it next time. Going out to Lisa Faccione. doing it, please do. She's like, why can't your father do it? I'm like, he can do it next time. Jess and Ducko. Going out to Lisa Faccione, it's Lola Young and Messy, hit Breakfast, Jess and Ducko.

That's the only song I couldn't get. That's right. I was close. She was very particular about that one, and she's just texted me. Yep. Saying, finally, I can start working now, been very distracted. She was nervous about her big radio moment. Absolutely. We were messaging, I said, well done, you did a great now. I've been very distracted. She was nervous about her big radio moment. Absolutely, she was. We were messaging.

I said, well done. You did a great job. I think she was annoyed I couldn't get the last one. She said, come on. Well, we need to work better next time, Ma, but she doesn't want to do it. She said, why can't your father do it next time? She's done it twice now.

I don't know if I can understand Rob. I could try. Rob will have a completely different interpretation. Yeah, he will. Completely different. Yeah, he would be very different. I'd love to see try. Rob will have a completely different interpretation. Yeah, he will. Completely different. Yeah, he would be very different. I'd love to see Grandma Meryl have a go.

Oh, Meryl. I want you to play Not Like Us, Kendrick, for Grandma Meryl. What is that? Sorry. I could try one of my parents, I guess. I would love. I reckon Kate and I would get on each other's wavelength. Like that. Well, they're in town next weekend, I believe.

Oh! We could try it then. Perfect. Yep. Perfect. My mum wants to be off the hook, so. She's done. Yeah. For, so we could try it then. Perfect. Yep. Perfect. My mum wants to be off the hook, so. She's done. For a little bit anyway.

Yeah, for a little bit. If we lived in the same town as our parents, goodness me, we'd abuse them. We'd have to get them on the payroll. Oh, we'd do so much. They would be honorary street team members. Yeah, they would be. I'd be sending my dad out to Bunnings. He'd be in the Black Thunders, the hip squad, the patrol.

Insert whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, your dad would be doing live crosses for us? Always. The patrol? Insert whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, your dad would be doing live crosses for us? Always. Oh, my. He'd be reading our news probably in our show. I love that.

Yeah, current affair style. Yes, he would. Oh, yeah. Oh, thanks. Hey, look, don't forget as well, we're out of here, but you can get the show, podcast, on Listener, wherever you get your podcasts. We're back tomorrow.

You get involved, more chances to win a call of fame. $500 is spent at MISA, which is organic skincare crafted for radiant, healthy skin. Visit misasecrets.com.au for 15% off. When I think skin, they're the two adjectives I do want to hear. Radiant and healthy. You get involved in the show, you could win that. Bit of a hell of a show so far.

Shaga Dips went off in the first call, which is unprecedented. She is now one of two. I think you guys did biscuits last year. Yeah, when you were away. I was away. I was tuning in from home. That's right. Where was I?

You were sick. I must have been sick. God damn it. You had the lurgy. I had the lurgy. Didn't want to contagion anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wrote LeSnack.

It was LeSnack. She got LeSnack in the first go. She was the only person all year. And now we have another one, Natale. Did you notice Shy Guy's mood change the minute that went off? He's been flat since. I've not heard him say a word since. No, he's upset. He had so many

clues he worked on. You were prepped. The most work you do all week is... It's okay, mate. We've always got next week. It's because Babs has got her blog and she's been nailing it. That's his dip to this segment.

He just feels like it didn't launch today. Natalia was motivated by getting her husband a bespoke limited edition Jess and Ducko jizz bit for his Crocs. Second one we've awarded. Second one we've awarded. Yeah, very good. Very good. Hey, we're back tomorrow, though.

It is Thursday, which is Wordyoke. That's right, Babs' blog. Babs' blog. Yes. We'll all be here. Absolutely. Oh, shy guy might need a mental health day. Imagine if he's not in tomorrow, and we know why.

Hey, man, if you're feeling down, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. The boss brings him in today. The boss brings him in for an air check today. Oh, that's right. Sit him down. Come on, sit. Play back some audio.

Let's listen to this, mate. We were all there. No, I mean, today it's just going to be you. It's just for you, though. Oh, that's right. Sit him down. Come on, sit. Play back some audio. Let's listen to this, mate. We were all there. No, I mean, today it's just going to be you. It's just for you, though. Oh, that's happened. Oh. Hey, we're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow.

Bye-bye. Bye. Grammy, why'd you get those undies? You'll be able to see Mummy's vagina. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's fiery new spicy chicken McGrath is even more reason for a Macca's run.