Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | Wait... what?

Episode Date: September 15, 2025

Ducko recaps his weekend solo parenting, Jess rates the teams hugging styles and we ask what makes people hot?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the out. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. This is the Jess and Zucco podcast. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. What's up, gang.

What's up, gang, gang, gang. Great stuff. Great. Just a lot of good stuff. Just a lot of good stuff. Just a lot of fantastic stuff today, team. It's wonderful to see your penis balloon is still erect. Yeah.

celebrating your birthday late last week for a birthday weekend. It looks good, doesn't it? But he still looks good this morning. All the other balloons have been popped and ended up in the bin. Well, I do appreciate that. Shaghan Babs got that balloon with the stronger helium or whatever, what did you say? Premium helium. Yeah.

Cost an extra $5. What's the difference between premium helium and standard premium? I think $5. Clearly lasts longer. Yeah, because the other balloons I came to spend a bit wilted. And then it's that awkward thing. Nothing's more depressing than balloons days after your party. I'd also argue nothing.

scarier. Like if you walk into a dark room and there's a helium balloon balloon, half, floating at half height, so it's almost at your eye line. Terrifying. Very terrifying. That was like the prank and I did play it on my father where you call your dad and you say, Dad, how much should I have been charged for premium

air when I went for a service? Rob Farch going, what do you mean? Premium air is free and you should have done it yourself. I said, I paid $70 and he lost his marbles. You said, Dad, what do you mean? You never taught me car maintenance. He said, well, that's on me and I apologise. I'm clearly this is a joke

and it's gone too far. It's gone way too far. I'm so sorry. The ones that say they put vegetable oil in. Yes, or have the bottle of olive oil sitting on their engine as they're poking around.

Dad comes out. Look at me, you go. I love those. If my dad lived in the same state, would be doing that one as well. Absolutely. How are you feeling Babbs after your big Melbourne trip on the weekend?

I'm pretty tired. When did you get in? When did you get back? Like 7.38 o'clock last night. Oh, you're probably like, fuck my early alarm. Well, I quickly gobbled down some GYG and just went to sleep.

Have you seen the article shot I sent about GYG not doing well? I know that's why I thought I would buy some. Would you like to know why? Yeah. Because they thought. They thought. We know Jess's Zembrero fan. I'm not saying Zambraero in the news.

I think Zambrero liked one of my recent Instagram. Stop it. Either Zambrero or Mad Max. One of the two. But it wasn't good. Both of them? Fantastic. Do they follow you?

They didn't, but what did they like? What real was it? Was it one of your shopping center ones? Yeah. I think so, one of the Westfield ones. Okay. Yeah, they like that. All right.

Yeah. Hello. Last time we talked about Nando's in a, well, it wasn't even in a positive way. We were saying there's no Nando's anymore. We were sent to Nando's Voucher. What I'm hearing, Zambrero, cash up. I mean, cough up. We were sent Nando's voucher.

We don't have Nando's. No, so we're going to have to do a team trip to Sydney. They clearly didn't hear the break properly. I don't know where we live. We can't get invited to Shire Guy's house for a meal. God forbid we do a team trip to Sydney to go get some Nandos. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we should have given it to Babs.

There was Nandoes in Melbourne. And I did see it and I was like, should I eat some? And I was like, no, I can't do that. You know what? I'm just going to put the voucher they sent. It's in our DMs, but I'll find out. I'll put in our group chat. First person to go to Nando's.

Just use it. How much was it? $200. Oh, jeez. I'm off to Sydney. Go. Yeah, yeah. Didn't we get a porto money, too?

Yeah, I don't make that out. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I didn't get a porta. I didn't get a porto. I love a porto and I got... Yeah, we did get grilled. Grilled's great.

I've never gone to a poro and gone, I enjoyed that. Not once. Not once. That makes me sad. Yeah. It's the Pove. The Prego sauce. I know.

I've just never liked it. Yeah. The Bondo burgers are class. I'm not going to get a voucher now. I've given it goes. Say you want to try it. I don't. I never want to try it ever.

Yeah, it's dead. Do you know what I like when we're talking about food court places? You know, the V&M's... Oh, yeah, Rolls is good. I like Rolls. Well, Rolled, shy guy would like to try. Jess and Ducko on Instagram. I don't know if I'll hear us on the podcast.

Oh, does that not get flagged? See, I would never come out as bad as a supporter as I just did if it was public on this show. Oh, was that not on air? Was that on the pod last time? I think it was on the show. Yeah, I don't know if I like fully went... Oh, you fully. Oh, yeah.

I mean, just, yeah. You were holding back a bit. Maybe our sales team, who obviously listened to this podcast, could reach out to their rolled representatives. Well, I would love a bloody rice paper roll. I love rice paper rolls, but they never fill me up. No. It's absolutely. It's not even a starter.

It's just something to do while you're waiting for them to make your barn meat. It is, isn't it? And then you get two and you're like, what do I just eat? Now you're eating two versions of a roll in the one meal. That feels funny. Doesn't it? Anyway. Yeah.

What's everyone else's favorite food court food? Fabs and I stole someone else's bread today because we had no bread so we had the fine bread. Where did you find the bread? Freezer. We don't know who in the office it belongs to you, but it was like...

Are you sure it's just not left over team? No, no, no, it's because it was like bird... What's it called? Bird shit. No. It's not bird shit on it. It's a soy and linseed. Oh, yeah.

I like that. Yeah. I like... I like it's also very expensive. I said to show it, I can't not eat. I'm that hungry. Yeah, I had to go for it. Did you take four pieces?

Yeah. Did you take those tiny loaves? Of someone's. It was a little lot. You reckon it's just an office one? I think I know who it is. I think it was Matt Fraser. Yeah.

Oh, and he will let you know about it. Do you know what's so funny. So, before I realised the bulk cheese, sliced cheese was team cheese, I used to think it was Matt Fraser's and I would eat it really quickly if he caught me. And then I found out it was team cheese. And it was like, well, you know, now we buy double. Yeah. Because I minted the cheese rotation.

I know. I fluctuated the outliers. Well, Jess was there. Oh, man, I get blamed for things in this kitchen, like bananas and stuff. Let's talk about it. Yeah, someone from sales. So I, there was a bag, I grabbed one of my oats bags out of the cupboard. It actually had a hole in it.

I don't know if someone had ripped it when they had, because they come in pairs. Yep. When you rip them apart, sometimes it ripped into the other packet. Of course. And I grabbed it and I sort of like held it and oats fell on the floor and I quickly flipped it back up. And I was like, oh, shit. And I looked up and Jerry was there. And I was like, oh, and he's like, what do you do?

And I started like, there was no dust pants. So I started sort of like, I just kicked them a little bit underneath the, underneath the cleaners going to come. We have people that vacuum everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I kicked it underneath the, like, near the microwave. Anyway, memo came back. We came back for our free breakfast for whatever last Thursday.

This is last week. Yeah, last week. The oats didn't fill you up, so we went back for some croissons. Yeah, yeah, one of the, me and yesterday, and one of the chicks from sales, I won't say her name, but she was like, didn't even know it was me. Had not seen it, just goes, you made a mess this morning, duck her. But also, no, no, no, no, nothing. No, nothing.

I pushed down the oats and goes, you're not going to clean that? I'm like, when the fucking last time you cleaned up your own mess up? And I go, oh, I genuinely tried to look for a dustpan. So I went looking for a dustpan. It's when I went to ask you, Babs. And I went into the boys' talk to here, but the disabled one was locked and I couldn't find it. We actually, I don't, I don't even know if we have a dustpan. But how did we land on that she knew it was you?

I don't know. That's what I'm saying. I went straight for her. I'll tell you guys something when I worked in reception. Here we go. How much shit did they talk about us? You guys, like both breakfast teams would get blamed for everything. It happened to the kitchen.

And it was never actually you guys. It's always risy. who leaves these, like, coffee and stuff dirty? Honestly, besides this one incident where genuinely you did try. Yeah, I actually did try. Besides getting on your hands and knees during the songs and picking them up individually. But also, like, it was always the silliest stuff too. But my...

Like what? Like, there was a couple of coffee beans left out. And then I would be like, oh, I don't know. Like, you could be anyone. And then once I started working here, I was like, I get it. Everyone's in a rush. Do you know? No, but do you not...

It's not even... What upsets me, I genuinely get a fucking cloth out and wipe down after myself. But that doesn't get seen. doesn't matter because the person who comes after could ruin all that. But we get blamed. There was a bowl sitting between on the empty desk between Ducco and where we sit in the office. A bowl that clearly had like maybe one scrap of tofu and quinoa. Does that sound like anything either of us would eat?

No. And even our own team, Shortsy, went, oh, Ducco, I assumed it was you. We're going to clean that. Yeah, yeah. I was like, when have I ever been here for lunch? What? Why would we do that? Also, why would we trash our, the number of coffee cups that have been left on my desk?

Because I'm on a corner. I'm like, that's not me. My coffee cups are left to the studio. And like, it's so funny because everyone else is super messy. Super messy, right? I used to have to send out emails because people couldn't even put their own dishes in the dish. Babs, what's the thinking of us? Is it because that we're here for a shorter amount of time?

Yeah, I think so. And because everyone assumes that you guys are rushing. And so you're just like leaving shit out. No, they do it. They do know they do it because we work different hours and they all fucking hate it. Yeah. Do people assume we're divas and think it's beneath us or something? I don't know.

It was just because it's quite a negative thing to think about someone that They are so disrespectful. She didn't see that I'd eat in the earth. She didn't see it was me. She's like, you make a mess this point it down. But like I hadn't tried to sweep it under the thing. Like I hadn't tried to find something.

And I was like, we have a cleaner who's coming in today. Do clean this mess up. Like, I did try it. It wasn't me and it wasn't you that decimated the toilets that time, was it? Who cleaned it up? Yeah. But is funny.

I still have madmairs about that. Are people pointing the finger at us for that as well? The news team are here. Well, before us. Yeah, but no one thinks they've done anything. Their name's not on billboards, mate. You get a billboard and you get a board. Is that what it is, Ducco? It's the cross we have to bear.

You get a billboard? What are you watching over there? Oh, sorry, the Chiefs, end of the Chiefs game's on. You don't have to apologise to the podcast. You didn't do it during the show, that's fine. It's like the last two minutes of the game. What's the score? 2017 to Philadelphia.

Travis Kelsey dropped a catch over the end zone, which led to them getting an interception and them getting the like points. How much does Taylor get blamed when he plays shit? People have already commented on this thing because live comments. Like, since he got engaged, bro's been trash. Taylor should divorce him. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah, yeah.

So, anyway, apologies. So they're going to lose. Well, there's three minutes ago and they're down by three. Oh, only three. Sorry, I didn't do a good math. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was a lot more. But anyway, I've been very invested in this chat against the world.

Absolutely. Anyway. The sales team. Well, we love our sales team. Before you joined the team, Babs, there's going to be a bit of honesty policy here. Yeah. Before you join the team, would you defend us? Or you couldn't because you didn't know.

I didn't really know you guys, but also... She piled on. No, I didn't not pile on. I did not pile on. I was actually really, I would be like, oh, I don't know, it might be them. I was always Switzerland because everyone would come and, like, blame everyone. Well, that sounds better than Palin on. Give us a hug.

I'm okay. You'll hear that in the show today. Babs doesn't like a good hug or two. Of all the, I thought shy guy would absolutely clock in is the shittest hug up. Babs, way shitter. Interesting. I can give good hugs, just not all the time. How much more do I have to get to know you before I get a good one?

We're too new in our friendship I don't know if you'll ever get one I don't think I just get scared when people hug me Do you reckon if I was on my deathbed You give me a better hug You have one hug to give for the rest of the year To one of us

But like a good one A good hug Not your usual And it's got to be You're choosing when you want Maybe that person's done something nice to you Or you're just feeling it And you use that

You get to use that hug whenever you want But it's got to be before the show ends On December 19 And it's got to be during show hours Okay So like you just have that hug At any time I don't know.

And Daco, shy guy and I will constantly be like, could today be the day? Who's going to get it? Who's going to come in? You actually want me to do that. The golden hug. Babs' golden hug. Babs' golden hug. And then we can get a sting made.

It's like the period of love. There's no way she's going to hug. Which we forgot about. Damn. I will forget about this. You're going to have to be the one who reminds us about this. Yeah, sorry. She's going to say, it's coming in.

It won't be shy guy. I can't imagine. She won't hug him. No. I reckon I'm too intense for her. I reckon it's you. I reckon you're in prime position. No, I reckon, I don't know.

I'm paying $1.10 for the first half. I reckon I've got, I reckon I've come on, I've scared her. She's like a little squirrel, and I'm like, the kid that's excited to see the squirrel and runs up the tree again. Accurate? Sure. No one hates a swollen bab. Babs is going to try and get a new job before December 19, just so she doesn't have to do it. She's also going to go home and realize what's going to happen if I don't do it.

I'm not going to do it? You're going to think about it all day, aren't you? Yeah, probably. I'd love to be the recipient of the government. Golden hug. No, Babs' golden hug. Do you get a prize? Do I get a prize?

Well, the prize is a wonderful hug. And then we had to go, why did you, let's pretend you hug with Jess. Why did you hug Jess in this moment? Like, what wasn't? You go, well, like, she came in today and then you tell us. And it's this big reveal. Obviously, it'll be 6'10. I reckon the best way to get a hug out of Babbs is to be sad.

Because she's empathetic. Nah, Babes are just standing there next to you weird. Oh, you're okay, baby. You're right. Actually, you're right. She freezes up. You're okay, baby. She can't handle sad.

thought maybe because she's empathetic and nice. Our boss is just outside. Do you want to go hug him? Oh, bring him in. And then review it. Bring him in, bring him in. He won't know because he can't hear. Babs, can you go get him? He's just there to the left.

Babs, can you go grab him? He's just to left. And then we'll put him on the mic. I'll just say, hey, boss. Yeah, yeah, don't say anything. Oh, take the headphones off like we'll pretend we're not recording anymore. She's so fucking obvious. Oh, here we go.

So guys, currently we are, the boss is coming in. I'm going to go straight in for one. Yeah, good. Good good. Why am I being summons with a lot of? Good morning. He is running away from her. He wants nothing to do with it.

He's just fucking worried about hanged you? We were just wondering how your beers are hugger because we're all bad huggers. Still not as bad as badfuss. Jess and ducco in the morning. Stop what you're doing and listen. The shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up with. I'm not that easy to hang.

Jess. You know what they're keeping from us, the history books. Giants. I ain't got to explain. What's he looking for that? It's me. Got him going insane. Yeah, I got.

I could eat peach for hours. Fast. As long as I get micro, I'm good. Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Yes, it is right on 6 o'clock. Welcome to Monday morning team. Fresh week.

That is carbonated. It was a good care. That is fizzy. Yeah, you'd been sitting there for a while. Yeah, but you haven't shaken it up and it's blown everywhere. Oh, geez, I've blown it everywhere. No, it's just perfect. Yeah.

Let me have that first sip. What's it taste like? You like Dr. Pepper, don't you? Yum, yum. I saw a comedian described Dr. Pepper as tasting like a sexy battery. And now I'm like, yes, that absolutely is what it tastes like. Is it cherry? Cherry, yeah.

Or's Dr. Pepper. Yeah. It's like cherry. I like that flavor. Yeah. You need a love it. I hate it. See, I like cherry the fruit.

can't get enough of them, particularly coming into summer now. Cherry-flavored, confectionery or drinks. No, cherry coke. Oh, I like cherry coke. No, I'm the fruit, not the flavour, you're the flavour, not the fruit. Yeah, yeah, that's funny, isn't it? It is, Shaga, where do you stand on cherry flavour or the fruit? I think I've had cherry Coke.

Okay. I'll have to go with the fruit. Have you had sexy battery Dr. Pepper? No, I don't think I have either. Dr. Pepper or Cherry Coke? I don't think so. Pretty sure that convenience are across the road. All right, off you go bad.

Yeah, they sell a lot of American stuff. We need to get, we need to pop. Oh, how's this? Pop Shire Guy's Cherry. Oh, there's our new segment. Every Monday morning, we're popping Chir Guys cherry. There are so many things to pop for him. I know.

Harry Potter. Yeah, Harry Potter is one. Oh! Chaghery-O. Relax. You fareded me out. I know it's a fresh week. I just crossed into Shagga's room.

Oh, he's got that cherry cake. That was you slowly closing the door. So we shut the door. Have a good one, Shire. Enjoy the Coke. Ah! All right. Enough.

Don't disturb you, Shai, though, Ducco. Just close it slowly. Knock next time, please. Sorry, that's not me. We've got an open door policy here in this office. Hey, also, that bamboo tool, baby on me on Friday took it home. And I said to my wife, I was like, this is way better. She goes, we've had that before.

But then we got the cheaper one. So now we've got 60 rolls left of the cheap one before we can go back to the bamboo. Oh, you had a kid. You tighten the belt And now you've had to go back to the scratchy bum Not fair Oh you know my husband told me off I think it was around that conversation

Because obviously we were talking about the bamboo Toot paper being nicer on your butthole And my Angus Angus had to pull me up going You guys need to brain it in the butthole chat He goes what were you talking about? Mudfish I went what's a mudfish He's becoming prudish in his old age

I was like do you mean mud button He's like ugh don't So he doesn't like bucking He doesn't like the but hole Yeah, and it certainly doesn't like the phrase mud button. I didn't mind mudfish. Mudfish. It's pretty good.

Combining chocolate starfish and mud button, obviously. Oh, yes, yes, yes. So I'm sure he's really appreciating this particular convo. Well, I appreciate the telepapers, sir. I'm so glad it's worked out well for you. Yeah. I've got plenty of the bamboo. Yeah, I'll just take it.

I'm having to look after your mudfish. Help me get through my solo parenting weekend, you know? Absolutely. Help me be daddy solo. I mean, you need to look for the little. joys when you're up against it, you know? Every time I go to the toilet, I'd smile. Look at this. Look at where we are.

Your kids out there screaming, but you're like, let me just have this moment. And Madam Melbourne's back. Oh, hi. Thanks for coming to work today. No worries. You got to the airport about three hours early on the Friday. How was that? I didn't. Actually got there an hour early. And was it boring?

No, I thought I got delayed. I just standing around, but it was fine. What did I say would happen? I said it will get delayed 100%. I had a coffee and just chewed out. It's nice. Put headphones in. It is nice to peruse the books in the news agency there.

Did you do that, Babs? Yep, I did. I went and got some gum and... Always the way. I paid $9 for gum. See, Daco, if she'd rolled in 15 minutes early, like you wanted her to, when was she going to buy the gum? That's true.

She's got to get gum time allowed. Gum time's allowed. Chew on the plane. Well, that's good. I'm glad you had a good weekend. Yeah. We're all back and firing. I've, you know, I had a...

I don't even know if Morgan was more tired after her weekend or if I was more tired after mine. Your wife abandoning you, obviously, to go to your sister's hands. But the first time, you're left on your own. Yeah. With both your babies. I appreciate my face time for my sister at 6.30 in the morning in the morning. She was so excited for her hands. She's like, what are your plans for your birthday?

I was like, shut up, man. Yeah, yeah, shut up. I'll keep my daughter alive because you've got my wife. What do you mean? And report, status report on flow. She's alive. She's thriving. We had great daddy daughter time.

We had fun. You just had Lewis Copoldy's new one. Survive on the whole weekend. No. No. Sorry, Jess. That's just far too niche. We played it. We play it.

Bad reference, though. Yeah. Not your best. We're talking about surviving. Yeah. Well, you play the theme for Survivor then. Yeah. Survivor.

I don't know how to work that in. Oh, what's my crow by Jonathan La Pahlia? Was Survivor? Destiny's Child had a Survivor? They did. You're telling me, Destiny's Child is more relevant than Lewis Capald. Hey, Shog I can play, I Will Survive. Oh.

Well done, Ducco. That's not niche at all. That's the perfect reference. You got it 100% Lewis Cawwitouin with a playlist today. Then you'll feel silly. Hey, big show though. A big week for the team. Of course, Albux is back.

10K's always here. Plus, you have a call of fame. This is great this week. 500 bucks to spend a Reflections Holiday Parks. You just got to get involved in the show. Any time you want, just jump on 13, 1060. Call up and say how good my reference was. Yeah.

Or don't. I'll put a star next to your name. You don't know how you use the phones. Don't pretend. Oh, get Babs to help. Why are those trophies next to their name? What's that band symbol mean? Up next, they were talking a surgeon, leaving surgery, but what for?

Find out next. Jess and Ducko. Yes and Ducko. Let's go to the hospital. Couldn't have told you this was the Grey's Anatomy theme. You know what it sounds like? A children's music box. It does.

Is this the Grey's Anatomy theme? I thought her chasing car Snow Patrol was the Grey's Anatomy theme. What Snow Patrol got to do with Grey's Anatomy? Have I made that up? It just was in the show. In a special moment, I guess. Oh, in a special moment. Oh, McSteamy.

Oh, were they two different people? Yeah, McDreamy. Yeah, I liked McSteamy, too. I like McSteamy. I thought they were the same thing. Are you both dreamy boys? How dare you say that? I don't know.

Oh, no, McSteamy. Eric Dane. Oh, my God. Anyway, we're not talking about Grey's Anatomy, but we are in the hospital realm. Oh, this is much nicer than maybe the beep. the codes going off in a real hospital. I'll let this one just play in the background. Sure.

Oh. This is Babbs sitting now with their friends. Like, yes, mixed team is on. Sliding off the chair. Like, they weren't alone. Don't worry. Oh, I know. They weren't alone.

I was successful for a reason. Sex sells, baby. I think it's still going, isn't it? It's like the longest running... It's on Disney Plus now. Is it like the longest running show or at least the longest running medical drama in history? One of those, that's funny.

Okay. Anyway, let's get to the story, shall we? A doctor has left a patient on the operating table under anaesthetic to go and have sex with his nurse. That's a hell of a headline, doggot? In another room. I'm going to need, well, the surgery was. It doesn't say, which is really annoying me, but I'll give you the details. So Dr Salin Azum, who's 44, and the unnamed nurse, I don't know he gets named, but the nurse is not named.

I love that. They're not paid enough to get named in scandals. It wasn't her fault. Where are we? Salim, is that middle. This is in Manchester. So he was a doctor from Pakistan. but he was in Manchester.

Sure. So this was at the Thameside Hospital in Greater Manchester. Greater Man, you know, I dated a Mancurean for a little bit. I'm pretty sure that's what they're called. Yeah, that the accent got you going. It really did. Now I look back at five. I said, whoa.

He was a turn. Was I on drugs? Yeah, it was you were in your pyramids again. He's like, yeah, mate, John's built a pyramids. Come on in. Let's have a go, isn't it? He had a great personality, though. Unbelievable.

Anyway, a nurse called him in a compromising position, right? Shocked at this. How's the situation? So he was an anithetist, right? So he's anathetising the patient. Halfway through doing that, he said he needed a comfort break and asked the nurse, who was scouting, just watching, if she could just look over the patient while he bailed,

went into the next theatre with another nurse who'd obviously been on a schedule and teed up with her. Absolutely. Betty knew she was coming in for a go. But we always know things in hospitals maybe don't run to the minute. You know, he's been delayed, but I've got a standing appointment with Betty. I've got to get in there. I've got to get in there.

I'm going to put some drugs in. this patient. You just watch that go into their body. I love the idea. It was like a trainee. Yeah, yeah. I reckon you're ready, sweetheart, sweetheart. You're full. I'll be in that room, they're having a comfort break. And the trainee's like, what's it? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Comfort break is another code for sex. So he basically went to, he went to that room.

Can't imagine that's in the hospital manual. You are entitled to two comfort breaks of ship. It was different in Pakistani hospital, as you see, it's just so confused. See, they have Smokko over in the Manchester hospital. He's like, oh, this is the quid one. You get comfort from a dab, I get comfort from doggy. It's the same thing. So anyway, he goes into the next theatre.

He's doing it. The nurse who's watching the patient's like, I don't know I'm doing. The trainee. The trainee goes into that and sees them and then walks right past them and just looks at them and goes straight to her supervisor. I'm going to need assistance. One, with the patient who is currently coming out of his anaesthetic. And two, to deal with this situation. Yes.

So it can't have been life-threatening. It's not like he'd be rushed into the ICU. But at the same time, even when I got my sinus surgery, not life-threatening, not serious. I would rather mind if it just wasn't going in the next. for him and having sex with someone. I ask you this question as a man, docker. Yeah. Would you rather your surgeon and ether test be relaxed or be pent up?

Well, how's this? Funny you say that. He finished, after the nurse walked in on them, finished his job, went back in. Wait, which job? He finished his comfort break. Okay. And then went back in and finished his actual job. The surgery went off without a hitch.

The patient was completely fine. No one was none the wiser. See, unless I'm like, you know, going to die on the table, maybe I do want my surgeons and anyone working on me to be in the best possible headspace. nice and loose. We know they're overworked. We know that the shifts go for way too long. We know they're stretched too thin.

Hey man, I want you operating at your finest. May as well. May as well. Comfort breaks. We need to bring him here. So when Chagart leaves the room again, it says, I've got a comfort break. We know what he's doing.

Who have you snuck into the building, Shagai God? Jess and Ducco. I'll have a huge news. I know you're going to let me carve out a conspiracy corner, but you've said you can have a fortnight. Yeah, yeah, that's a fortnight thing. Now, conspiracies, yeah, there might be evidence, quote, unquote, but it is very theoretical. This is no theory here, Daco.

I bring to you evidence that Godzilla is real. Gaglia. An iguana, obviously, relative to the big lizard. You know, I love me a lizard. It's no lace monitor, but I love me a lizard. When you see a water dragon, you're like, Don't get me started on the Cabodo. And people, there are lizard people out there.

Like, as in, like, I have a friend who, like, her favourite colours green and she loves reptiles. Oh, my God. Loves a lizard. Has she got a dedicated room in her house? Definitely single. Who needs a man? Poor woman. When you've got lizard friends.

Well, Godzilla didn't, you know? Thank you, Darko. So an iguana at a zoo, an exotic zoo, obviously specialising in exotic creatures. The zookeepers have gone in just to check on her. She's a female. I sadly don't have a name. Maybe they haven't named the exotic zoo creatures. You know, sometimes at like a normal zoo, the elephants and the lions have names.

I don't have a name for this iguana. But they've gone in to check on her. Let's call it. Let's give her a name. Oh, I love that. What's an iguanary? I don't want to say easy. That feels a little bit cliche.

Susan? But this is a lady. Susan? Oh, excuse me. Hey. Back in your body of misgender. No, that's okay. It's 2025, but I just wanted to call you out on that.

I suppose we could, shy guy, but no, bad suggestion. Next. Can I just pivot quickly from Susan? Let's go Suzanne. Oh, Suzanne. Because the female store, Suzanne, having a glow-up at the moment. So I feel like it's trending. Are they?

They really are. The young ones have discovered Suzanne. It's all over TikTok. Is it true, Babs? I thought Suzanne was an old store. I haven't heard that either. Yeah, man. Who did it?

Someone on one of the, you know, those like daily oils? One of those news ones were being like, Suzanne's had a glow up. The young ones have to discover. Governing it, calling it a hidden gem. Yeah. So let's call our iguana. Suzanne. Suzanne.

Okay. They go into check on Suzanne and they're going, wait a minute, where these eggs come from? There are eight eggs in Suzanne's enclosure. Upon further investigation, they're fertilised. They're rocking around. Like they're good to go. They are good to go.

These hatchlings will be born any minute now. On further investigation, there's no male fertilisation happening. That's usually what iguan is named. There's no Simon for Suzanne. There's no Simon for Suzanne. Suzanne has done this all on her. own. They're basically eight mini-clones.

She has reproduced asexually. And now the zookeepers are going, hey, man, when nature wants, nature will find a way. So obviously, Suzanne's been on her own long enough. She goes, I need to reproduce. What's the term they use for that? That is called parthenogenesis. Which is what Godzilla was. Thank you very much.

If the 1998 movie taught us anything, it's that Godzilla, who they thought was a bloke originally because he was stomping on all the cities. When they found the stadium full of eggs, they realized, oh, hang on, it's a woman and she's reproduced via Parthenogenesis. They're just mini clones. Remember we had a stingray. Was it a stingray we discussed a couple years ago? Maybe it was a year ago.

She was in the enclosure with the shark. And everyone thought, hang on, the shark has knocked up the stingray because there's no male stingray. Turns out the shark, the shark had to put out a press release. Whoa. I haven't touched. I did not touch that stingray. The stingray. She did the same thing.

Reproduced asexually. but these are not critters that usually do that. That's crazy. So, tell me that Godzilla doesn't exist. I'm on board. Godzilla, this is how Godzilla starts. So now, they're putting the babies on display with the mum. What?

So you can go visit them. Mini- Mum clones, they're calling them. Yeah, they're just completely look like the mum I appreciate. Exactly, exactly. There's no other genetic material. This isn't good for the male species of iguana. Like, I mean, they're just there. What a lesson for the ladies babbs.

I don't need a man to make me happy. I reproduce asexually. That's how that song goes, isn't it? Sorry, you guys, you guys are just, I just want to just sit in this for longer. This is bad news for you, fellas. Woo! Jess and ducco in the morning. Jess and ducco's 10K Alphabats on hit.

You have 30 seconds answer. Ten of great questions. We'll start on the same letter. I have to take your first answer. It cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. Of course, we come back to you if there is time. and we're playing for $10,000.

Our player today, we go to Justin. Good morning, Justin. Morning, Gucker and Jess, how are you? Oh, Justin. We're fantastic for a Monday. We'll be even better if you win $10,000 in 30 seconds time. Are you going to do it? I don't know.

I don't normally go very good. Okay. Hey, Lizzie's being honest. I'll give it a crack tonight. It's early and Justin has no confidence. Anything can happen. Anything can happen. Now, that's a nice attitude.

I didn't like the defeatism at the start, but I like the open-mindedness now. We're back. What do you want to spend 10 grand on, my friend? Towards a new car. Yeah, we're going to need a new car. Okay. Maybe you'd like to look at a dihatsu. Maybe you'd like to look at a dodge.

Because those cars start with D. Justin's like, no, I don't really want those cars. No, I've got my idea of Kia. Well, you're going to play with the letter D, Justin. D, okay. All right. Come on. Hence the Dodge and the Dihatsu recommendation.

Come on, Justo. Are you ready to go? Okay, yes, ready to go. Sure. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter D. We need you to name. An ice cream.

A verb? Doing. A music genre. A boy's name. Dennis. A DJ. A school subject Drama

A comedy film A soft drink A soft drink Time Ran out of chocolate Yeah I love the commitment to pass it after That's what

Yeah I'll finish when I'm done Yeah yeah I'm on down yeah I'm on a play We've got three mate A verb A verb is a doing word He said doing. Absolutely.

I think doing technically king of the birds. That has to be right. I just had to get the bird. Yeah. An ice cream could have been drumstick, a music genre, disco, drum and bass, or the Chicago's favourite dubstep. Oh my God, you should see him get down a dirty, a little bit of dub. Oh, yeah.

A DJ could have been David Getter, a comedy film, Dumb and Dumber, a soft drink. We're out of time. Dr. Pepper, we chatted about it in the show this morning. What are the actual chances? I know. We have never brought up Dr. Pepper before. I know. Crazy.

And now it's on the Alpha Bucks quiz. Look, Justin, you don't get the car and you don't get the money, but you do get $100 worth of fuel. Oh, wonderful. Thank you very much. So you look after the car part, but... And just getting through and having a guy was good fun. I was already heard of it. Justin, chatting you's been the highlight of my week thus far, so thank you, good sir.

Thank you. Justin, thanks for picking up the phone and calling today. Awesome. No problem. Thank you for having. Appreciate that. See, I like it when they're polite when they lose. Absolutely.

All the people who hang up straight away. Firstly, listen to the learning. Yeah, always going to listen to the reins. How are you going to get better if you get through another time? Hey, got to run you through my chaotic afternoon yesterday. My God. God, you had a bit on this weekend, Al. Bronco is going to give me cardiac arrest.

Your two watches that track your heart rate have exploded. I'll do it next. Jess and Ducko. Jeez, it was a weekend of my household. I'll unpack how it was solo parenting with my wife on her hens for 48 hours. I'll do that a bit later. That can wait. That can wait.

There's bigger. fish to fry. Struth, the NRL game yesterday. The Broncos, my goodness. Shagall even watched it. Crocky. Shaggo came in today with a full full his just going.

I usually watch it just like as background. I couldn't look away. It was great. I'm going to call that. I've never seen a game like that. Set me up. What's going on? So it's finals.

Finals footy. I know that. Camber Raiders number one versus Broncos number four. Okay. Everyone knows I'm a Bronco supporter. But this game was still incredible, right? They're playing in Canberra on a Sunday. Canberra have selected to play on this day.

Sold out. Sold out in the shithole we call the nation's capital. Not much else going on. Not much else happening. I deserve it. They go down there and it is like an arm wrestle and then all of a sudden the Raiders stream ahead. Then Reese Walsh becomes full Rees Walsh and like leads with his head into a guy

and gets sent off like a alleged headbutt thing. And then we lose another player for a high shot. All of a sudden, then Rees Walsh is walking up the field giving the finger to the crowd while the course. crowds giving the finger to him. Like, just full Reese Walsh. Like, he's, he's, he's chaotic. It's, it's, it's not professional sport at this point.

He is so, it's entertainment. He's so hard to have on your team because he's so good and you, and you like him, but you're also like, he's so, I don't know how, like, don't I reckon he's got a bit of the curioses about him. Yeah. Pure talent. Pure talent. But it's, he's running his own race.

Oh my God. He doesn't seem to really care. It's just wild. Yeah. Anyway, the Broncos are down with it. Like, like, they're down by 18 points. There's 11 against 13. at one stage.

There's like... What point are you turning off? Oh, it was close. Like, there was like, I was... And people are messaging me like, you know, the boys are losing, whatever. All of a sudden, Reaswash comes back on. Scores a try, sets up too.

Like, it just... Oh, should you have a little sip of the toilet water? And I just put a pepany step. The toilet water in Canberra evidently goes all right. He comes off. Then all of a sudden, it's like, it gets down to the dying minutes. The boys are on. They're down two points.

They go for... They're still in this. They go for a field goal to try it. Miss it, full-time, so Raiders win. And then, hang on, we're going to watch it. The kicker, the guy who was, I'm trying to chase down, the kicker, jumped on, like, Reese Walsh's foot, the kicking foot. So it's a penalty every day of the week.

The Rambus, the Rambus, the Raiders have stuffed up. They've stuffed up. Because it was over time, the penalty, which is an old rule, I didn't know, then gets to be 10 metres in front of the posts. So they automatically get the kick, they get that. Goes to overtime. Because it's tied. The scores are tied now.

Overtimes, five minute halves each way. So there's 10 minutes of overtime. No team had scored. People are trying. Oh, and it's final footer, you can't have a draw. Someone has to win, right? It gets to like the 89th minute of overtime. The Raiders then score.

They do it, they then score. The game's over. I think it's done. The fans are going nuts. All of a sudden, hang on, hang on. They blow it again. We'll review again. It was a knock on in the air.

No, the game's not over. We're going to Golden Point. And it goes again to Golden Point. How long are we watching this game for now? It went for like 95 or 96 minutes. It meant to be an 80-minute game. Oh, they're usually snappy NRL games. And the problem was, Flo's bath time was due like 20 minutes.

minutes before this. And my wife's like... Oh, hang on. Your hungover wife has come back from her hands. Yes. Is she taking care of the kids? I said, oh, the game starts at four, honey. It'll be done by like six. I'll be here for witching hour.

Bath time, six with Dean, let's go. All of a sudden, she's like, well, we've got the bath time soon. I am checking out a bath time. You've been away on her hands? I need to watch this game. I'm playing the car here. I'm out. You're on deck.

She's already getting annoyed me for screaming because Floyd cried a few times when I was like getting into it. I'm standing up. They've got no shirt on at this stage. My heart rate's 130. and he, like, just jacked up. Just ridiculous. You just written a B for Broncos on your chest, just hoping someone comes around with the Roncos.

I had multis on with the boys. I had a lot invested in this. It was just an afternoon. I am a single man in this moment. I do not have a wife or child. I totally forgot who I was and where I was at. All the sudden, then, wristwash goes kick a field goal,

hits a cross bar, bounces out. They go to kick, miss. Anyway, the dying, the dying stages of... The score is still tied. Still tied. The dying stages, Ben Hunt steps up. To win the game, Ben Hunt, he's undergot one field goal.

career. He kicks it. It's long. It's over. We're going upstairs, but it looks like a field goal. The comeback in the Capitol is complete. It hit the post and bounced in. The comeback in the capital is complete. You can't write this stuff. Oh, mate. And then, so this is, this is audio of me. I posted this up trying to cheer, because Morgan is now done full bath time and put Flo into bed. And Flo's going trying to bed. And this is me, this is me trying to cheer with a child. in our house. I'll play that again. It can sound like I have smokers' cough.

This is me just trying to... You know what you sound like? A toy that's the mechanism's broken. Wheezy. The elation is clear. Yeah. And I come out, I'm so excited. Like, I am like...

I can picture you and you did post some vision. Your face is red. You're sweaty. Oh, my God. I come out. I'm like, Morgan. And she's like, I've just been parenting by myself. You're vibrating on an energy.

She said, she literally goes, go have a shower and calm down. Do you know what? Go to Jess's house. Just get out of the house. Just get out of the house. Literally, I went out of shower. Ben Hunt. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Right now I want to put Ducko's hearing and I guess interpretation of audio to the test. Yes.

Saw a clip on the tiki toky yesterday and I thought, wow, if my eyes were closed, I would not have guessed that that was making this sound. Okay. I'll give you some context. We're in a hospital. I'll give you some more context. This clip was shared by Seven News, Australia. Okay.

Here is the audio. I want you to tell me what the sound is and subsequently what is making the sound. Sounds like... Sounds like a piano or an accordion or something, but it also sounds like... Sounds like one of those, the people that go to the hospitals that, like, you know, put on the shows for the sick kids and stuff. You are flirting with it.

Like, you're like a clown, and he's, like, trying to, trying to, like, he's got like a sound effect going. It almost sounds like, you know... It sounds like Ronald McDonald has had a bad weekend, from being honest. My, I'm going to give you half a point. Okay. Because we are in the sick kids ward.

It sounds like, yeah, like the entertainers that come in and do great work, and they come and try and entertain, you know what I mean? So what that is, is a keyboard. So you said piano accordion, it is a keyboard, that a woman, a human woman, is holding upright. There is a small girl in the bed who's just undergone some sort of surgery. And she needs to be brought out of the anesthetic. But obviously, in the children's ward, they want to make sure that that quite, you know, scary moment where you're coming out, you're feeling

woozy, you're feeling horrible, is as comforting and maybe joyful as possible. It's not a clown, Bucco. Oh, yeah. It's a miniature pony playing the... A miniature pony. With his little snout. They've brought into the hospital. He's a therapy pony.

Oh, that's cute. Like a little Shetland pony. Like a little Shetland pony. He's got the gorgeous braids on his mane. He's wearing a little outfit. And his handler is holding the keyboard out. So this little girl waking up from anesthetic sees the pony playing her a little ditty. Poor thing probably freaks out.

She wakes up for her. She's like, is this real? Is this in my head? When I sent it to Shagai, I said, hey, get me this. How sweet is that I want to challenge Nucco to identify? And he went, what did you say, Shagga? If you were the kid waking up from anesthetic. I said, take it away.

Also, can you imagine, like, could you imagine if I was like, that's a Shetland pony playing piano to a sick child? Bang, see you later. Got the point. Yeah, to be fair, if you had gotten that right, I would have had a lot of questions for you. Jess and Ducko. Well, there's a new trend that's happening online.

Thanks to our good friends, Body and Souls, 2025 sex census. God, we have milked the sex census for all. How do we? There's just so many nuggets of intel. There's so much. About the human condition. They've said that 25% of Aussies using dating apps in the last 12 months have gained more clarity about what they're looking for.

It is loyalty, patience, responsibility, care, and an active lifestyle. Jeez, that actually is interesting. I've heard responsibility in these lists of things people are looking for in a partner. Enter the new thing people are doing, dog fishing. I've heard of catfishing, Baco. Dog fishing. Dog fishing. So basically what it means, it's in the name, people are now putting dogs, lots of dogs or any type of dog, their dog, maybe even a friend's dog, in their pictures of their dating profiles.

And people are now seeing, and they're associating those things that people want. Like responsibility, loyalty, patience with dogs. You put a golden retriever in your picture. Exactly. The intended recipient goes, I'm confusing the dog's attributes for the humans because the dog is loyal. And then, exactly. You get a common rescue breed like a greyhound or a rescue pup.

Oh, you're kind-hearted. You have good ethics. You have a misunderstood ball of energy like a staffie. You're active and dedicated and caring. You've got a big dog. You're cuddly and low maintenance. We're crossing all our wires here. Yes.

And similarly with the sentiment of dog fishing, as you said, I'm just going to use shy guys, dad's greyhound. Exactly. I don't actually own the greyhound or have anything to do with the maintenance of the greyhound. There you go. But you don't know as you're swiping across. You just think I'm a good person. Exactly.

You rescue those greyhands. You save them. How nice is that? I think you deserve a date. You deserve a date. And then people, it's making people look hotter. So maybe a bloke who's like a five has the picture of his greyhound in there. He's rescued that greyhound.

Oh, he's a shelter guy. He's an eight. Now I want to date him. Dog fishing. Where's that dog that you had in your proper picture? What? Oh, that thing died years ago. Oh, see, very easy to work around. Oh, I share custody with my ex.

Like, there's a whole gamut of excuses why you don't have that dog in your possession. You can get away with it. Because once you've hooked them in, you've hooked him in. Apparently dog owners are intentionally uploading photos with their dogs into attempt to ensure they come across as better potential partners. It's happening more and more it's common. Some people have come out and said, I don't want to be an adopted dog, mum or dad. Like, if they've got a dog and that's baggage. Oh, is that baggage?

Yeah, I don't want that anything in my life. You can't please everyone. No, you can't. It could work for someone. It might not work for others. Exactly. But the question, what makes them instantly hot? Maybe there are three, but with this thing, they're a 10.

They're a 10. For me, Ducco, hard to ascertain on some of the apps. But, you know, I think it might be hinge, possibly Bumble. You can leave, like, your own voice memo in answer to a prompt. So me swiping across can listen to your response. Maybe you can do a good impression or you're answering a question. Someone's doing their trump impression to you on the dating app. It's just getting you going.

Accents. Accents. For me, it's funny, we touched on it earlier in the program. I get face blindness when I'm confronted with an accent. And it doesn't even need to be one of the stereotypically hot accents. You're Italians, you're French. Just an accent. It makes me think you're exotic.

It makes me think maybe you're more interesting than you actually are. Yeah. It does. Accents are good. It does something to me waters. 100%. I love an accent. You can't help it.

You can't help it. For me, it'd be a deep barbell back squat. Instant 10. Hard to put in. Hard to put into the dating profiles. But if I see someone who's squatting deep and got a bit of weight in the back, my God. Oh, man. This is the issue.

One of my many issues with AI, Dachau, very easy to Photoshop an image of my back squat with my little cheeky 10 kilos. Make that look like 120 things. So I lure you in. And as a gym go with yourself, you might go, hey. Respect the game. Should we go to the gym together? Look at that form.

Yeah. Oh, sorry. I've pulled a hammy. I can't squat in front of you today. Sweet up, I'd love to go for a coffee. I also, I've said this before, but a wetsuit. A wetsuit and a surfboard. It's like, oh, you surf?

Oh, okay. So you're happy to not see them, even in the water. When they're going to wet suit and a surfboard, it's like, that's cool. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Shaga, you got anything? Well, I ask.

If they can drive and park, that's hard. That feels targeted. You should. You should. I did. I did one of the great shockers. Babs, don't look too close at your rear passenger door because I swear I've hit you this morning. That feels targeted.

Babbs is panicking out there. Oh, is Babbs don't look too close? I'll hit your car. It's one of the great. If they can park well, they can drive well. I'm more for that. At the risk of getting too bad answers, Bats, what's yours?

Probably if they play an instrument. Yeah. Oh, hot. Hey, doesn't your boyfriend play an instrument? Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Hold on.

Let me find my base. This is going to be what happens. Please do. That's all right. to pad, an instrument, that's a great one. I heard a great saxophonist recently. Yeah. He got me going.

What was his name? Jake. It was at a wedding I did. Why can't I find my thing? I'm not sure. I don't want to move it away from instruments, but I can't keep padding. I might have to detour though.

I can't find my bass. A couple that I was recently... Oh, which one will it be? You've got 25. Which one's going to be worth it, but. Here we go. Here we go. All right, Babs, what are you find a tractor?

Lead him in again. I find men that can play instruments attractive. Come on now. What about if you can play the stews? Oh, yeah. Do you like that? Probably not. Or the rainmaker.

What about the jug? Oh, the jug is a good instrument. Underrated. I agree. Not enough jug in pop music these days. Anyway, you get the gist. We should tweet, Sabrina. Put more jug in.

Put jugs in. 13, 10, 60. They might be a three, but then they have insert blank, makes them a 10. What makes them instantly hot? That's right. your partner lured you in with one of these

you realized I love them now but really I'm in you got me with that Jess and Ducco What makes someone

instantly hot dog fishing a new trend that's been identified people on the apps putting a dog purposefully in their picks whether it is

their dog or someone else's dog it shows what were the traits responsibility loyalty loyalty is what they're after care extraversion

active lifestyle and patience. And these are the top five qualities. Australian singles want to see. So how do we do that? Show them a picture of a dog. People are chucking dogs in their pictures on Tinder or wherever it may be. And they're going, oh, you know what?

He's not that attractive. But with that golden retriever, I like his loyalty. I did a marriage for a couple last weekend. And she shared the story when she's flicking on Tinder. You know, the first pick, oh, he's a good looking rooster. But the next pick across, he had a nice lawn. And she thought, I think that's his lawn. That's taking care of himself.

Because you know what she told me? A man with a nice lawn is a man who really cares. Well, that is, yeah. It's also like someone who exercise a bit, a man who cares or a person who cares. Nice lawn. But then also you can dip too far on the lawn stuff. Same. I was same with anything.

Well, you're right. It's a gym. Your dog. Is it too into the dog? I don't want them too into their dog. You know what I mean? That's true, actually. I want to be your priority at some point.

That's true. But different types of dog breeds are bringing up different types of care and passion. Staffy, they're active. Is it a golden retriever? Oh, they're so cuddly. Is it a rescue dog? Oh, jeez. They rescue people.

You could be a two. Rescue dog. You're an 11. Dragon blokes who have all their fishing photos and their tender pics who aren't going well. Like, we're going to change animals. This could be great for... Yeah, yeah. Well, just get a dog, I mean.

I wouldn't recommend iguana. I don't think iguana is a step up from a dog, shy guy. I see you having an iguana in your picture. My God. Hey, but here, who am I blanketing? For the right person, iguana is going to tick a box. I don't think I want to know that person. You'd be the kind of guy who'd have a tinderer in.

profile with an iguana and just no context. I see him doing the Britney Spears. He'd have a skimpy outfit on with a big carpet python wrapped around his arm. Oh, yeah, you'd be a python and a guy. That's a double on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see if I saw a fur of someone hollering a snake or something exotic animal, I'd be like, no. Yeah, you wouldn't like it.

You're the only snake for them. You're the only snake handler. Haley on 13, 1060. What makes someone instantly hot? A nice smile. Oh, I love that, Haley. Are we talking a nice smile? Or you specifically going, that's good oral hygiene.

That is a man who clearly brushes his teeth and flosses every nose. Both. Okay. No, that's good. She doesn't want to. Smile, both. Next question. Can I win the holiday park voucher?

She doesn't want to support someone through a root canal. Sorry, Babs, that rules you out. Page on 13, 1060. What makes someone instantly hot? Their height or their job? Okay, now, okay. Hang on a minute. Let's drill down on section number one.

So, story goes, back in the day, my husband's Tinder bio was six foot four chef. Yep. So you meet him because you're like, well, six foot four, tick, chef, double ticked. He can make some food? 100%. He rolls into the day. How tall was he actually? Six foot four.

Oh, he was telling the truth. I thought this was going to be a hike fishing story. I thought you were saying that smaller guys are better. You're saying that taller is better. Is that what I'm just trying to clarify what we're doing here? Look, personal preference, doco, but I do. It does still feel like a dig to you, do you, do you? I mean, I'm not going to put five, five, seven and a half on my Tinder profile pick.

That's it. Some of those apps, correct me if I'm wrong, page. I know what I'd put it. Those apps have, like, you have to fill that in in your bio, right? Well, to be fair, this is eight, nine years, two kids' mortgage and a marriage ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So be honest, be honest, Paige. If it had said five foot three.

Yeah. And something you don't deem as cool as a chef. Ducko's high. Are you swipe and write on that? Or would you... Well, look, his pictures were cute, too. But the chef part really did get me because I don't want to cook. Cute.

One of your favorite adjectives, Dougher. What if you saw, like, I don't know, I'm small, but I'm cuddly and I don't take up much room in the bed. Surely, that's a great attribute. But I feel like I could get a dog myself at that point. I was talking about me, not the dog page. God, damn it. What size dog pain? No, no, we're done with her.

She tells the dog. Give her the call of fame. Robbie, good friend of the show, Robbie, good morning. Good morning, my lovely. Babe. What do you go? What makes them instantly hot? What gets you hot under the collar?

Oh, someone playing acoustic guitar and then when they open their mouse up to talk to me, it's Sean Connery's voice coming out. That's an issue. I mean, how are we going to find that? How are we going to find that? I'm still looking, love. I'm still looking. I was going to say, Robbie, you know, valet, Sean died, yeah.

And where do you, you know? Where's my heart? Where do you sit on five foot sort of eight to seven people? Rob, where's your? Well, mate, I'm five foot too, so you're cheering. I'm being giant over you. Yeah, bloody eight. Jess and Ducko.

Oh, baby, let me grab a book from my show. Let me sit. All the lines for you, you know you've got to pick the melody So you could score a point o two Book top box Sweet Babs is in studio She's taken a book off her raunchy bookshelf And she's going to sing a passage from the book

In the melody of a pop song We just have to identify that song Yeah and she's coming off a big weekend in Melbourne, Barbara Yes, I am Yeah, how you feeling? All right Yeah It was a big musical weekend

Down to Support Your Booh friend, in amongst shopping and lunches. Lots of shopping and lots of food. How are your guts. Not good. Yeah. I've seen you going out of the tour a few times today. Oh, Rano.

She's going to race through this. Yeah, she's going to really going to go. Yeah. I ate a lot of foods. I just feel so full and gross. That's okay. It was a hell of a weekend. Yeah.

What book have you picked off your shelf today? This one's called Metal Slinger. Oh, metal slinger. Oh, it's another fantasy. I reckon you would like this one actually, Doug. It's going crazy on the talk at the moment. I'll be in. I'm in a new one.

Can we have a quick synopsis of metal slinger? Oh, God. It's very... Look at how big... There's fairies. I've not read this one yet. Yeah, I have. But it was a while ago.

Can I just read one? They all blend into one, all the fantasies. They do. Yeah. One boat. One bed. One jaw-dropping plot twist. Oh, yeah.

I'm in. Oh, man. Let's go. It sounds like Titanic. It was a multiple beds on the Titanic's a biggest ship at the time. And there's no iceberg. There was no plot twist. There's not.

We have a book yet. Worst. Worst comparison. You leave them to Jets. You heard boat and brought up the Titanic. That's my only link. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, go for a box.

All right, first song. Here we go. Here we go. Messer looks at the captain, then at his friend. Oh, oh. I found myself. Oh, no. Come on.

No, in Fosh, she won't we loved. Yeah. Yeah. I love that song. Me too. God, that was getting... I had that early. I couldn't get it.

I was singing Coldplay. God, is Adam Levine in studio? Well done. Yeah, well, he just dropped in. He's gone now. Let's see who's going to pop in next. Are you ready? Ready, ready, ready, ready.

A flurry of murmurs. Zip around the circle. Oh, oh, oh, somba, somba. Undress. I don't want to get on dress. Unreal. Yeah. She's not so good at this.

Babs. This is, you've been seeing it well today, Babsy. Thank you. You want to go re-record your opener? Yeah. I think it might be time for that. Yeah, it could be. All right, next one.

Okay, here we go. I swing them right, and it blocks both. Oh, baby Justin Bieber. Whoa. Yeah, good game. How did you do it? Good get. Because Bieber just fall in.

And you can could or not. Your ability to get these quick in and out. Yeah, yeah. She needs to go to the bathroom. Come on. Fast game is good game. I don't. I don't.

telling everyone that. Well, you do. You do. Ready? Okay, okay, okay, we're ready. Messer's smile is soft when he says I told you I'd win, I push him, but it's a figure. Oh, no, no, he was a boy. Oh, my God, a boy, Avrilavinez. Good night. How do you do that?

You're not getting better at this. I am getting better. I speak Bavonese. You too. Congratulations. That is. I don't listen to the words at all of what you're saying. I think that's my issue. I'm not listening to the story.

I was trying to find the Titanic references that the Charga I was talking about. Spot on. Did you hear the Titanic about Shy Lord? Yeah, I heard it. Did you hear it? Jess and Ducko. I survived my first weekend of solo daddying. 48 hours.

My wife had my sister's hands up north, so it was a plane trip away. No of our families are here, so I was just run solo. I just happened to coincide with your 34th birthday, which, as we all know, it's a massive day. It is a miles. Everyone knows you celebrate your 34th. my sister, face-times me at 6.30 in the morning on Saturday morning after I've been up like a few times with the baby. And she was like, oh, happy birthday. I'm so excited for my hands. What are your plans today for your birthday? I was like, surviving because you have

my wife. Like, what do you mean to that? She's just given me access to the app. That holds her schedule. Thanks very much. I had the app. I had the app which tells you when to put them down, like when to put her to sleep. When she wakes up, when she last fed, just keeps me on track for the day. Absolutely. And tell you, well, thank God for that app. It just makes life so much easier. Our parents are listening going, we didn't have no app, we didn't have no app telling us what to do and how to do it. Absolutely.

But no, look, it was a, I have a newfound respect for single parents. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We already knew this was tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just the remittlessness of it. We are lucky to be doing it with someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's great. And don't remember the weekend was fine. Everything was absolutely perfect. And I had great daddy-daughter time with my little angel over my birthday week. I mean, she had no idea. You crack a few cans together, watch the footage. She had a bottle, I had a Budweiser. That's what we do.

Bottle at a bird with my little bird. Yeah. So no, it was nice, but it was funny. So I woke up my birthday morning to that face. I'm cool for my sister. And I had the worst sleep because it was the first time I'd slept alone with Flo without Morgan there. So I just kept waking up. Is she breathing?

Like, she okay. Like, obviously she was fine, but I just had that anxiety all night. Absolutely. Get up, see Flo. She's all happy in the morning. And I'm doing the classic nappy change. And she just does, hadn't done it for a while, but does the wee on me while I got the nappy off before I get a new nappy underneath,

and it goes all over the clothes. I thought your wife had prepped you for that. You've got to put the new one. I know. I was close to it. Like, I literally pulled it out. I was in that, not the transit. And she just let it go.

And we know what's happening. You're just malfunction. You're like, no, no. And they know. Oh, they know. Oh, there's nothing protecting. I'm going to go now. I'm going to go right now.

Went all over her suit. Had to change. Do whatever. We get outside. I'd been instructed to give her no nappy time, which flow hates. Basically, when you get the child not wearing anything, get their bits exposed. Let it breathe to get rid of nappy rash, Shaga, because she had a bit of napy rash.

And so I was like, yeah, Shogga gets it. Napierash Shogga is a thing I guess. I don't like just getting my child naked for it. I don't like just getting my child naked to no reason. It's on my deck. Anyway, we're doing no nappy time when she hates, and there was a period there, like, because Pam gets a bit jealous.

The dog gets a bit jealous and wants more attention when I'm giving all the attention of Flo, and there's no two parents there. Flow lets one rip, and I think accidentally followed through and just projectile poos. all over the deck. Oh, she's sharded.

She's on tummy time. Yeah, I think she sharded. She's on tummy time. And it just explodes out, goes all over the deck. And as it's done that, Pam's like, stopped coming to me and gone like, oh, and then trying to eat Flo's poo. Well, what's going on over here? This is a rare delicacy.

And I was like, no, sweetie, don't eat your sister's poo. Stop pooing on the deck. This is a dog who has chicken and rice that you hand prepare every day. She'd be like, what's going on over here? I want this. I was like, don't eat that. You'll go blind. Yeah, yeah, so I'm pulling her away, then the baby's crying, all that stuff.

But you know what I did get to do after that, guys, which made me grateful. I know. I used the gurney. I got the gurney, you gifted me for my birthday. I didn't even put that together. I was always going to say it two minutes ago, but not. Oh, I love that. Got the gurney and used that gurney.

See, Flo was just giving you an opportunity to use said gurney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we popped around for lunch later that afternoon, the deck was sparkling. See? There was no evidence of this massacre having occurred earlier that day. And that was Pugat Day, it was. Oh, well, that's. Well, that's one hell of a review for the gurney.

Jess and I said come and bring me lunch just to break up my day a little bit. Just to break up the day. But I said, give me access to the app. I want to make sure we're getting in the right window here. Yeah, oh, yeah. We ate our chicken and we chuffed off, leaving him alone with the children. And Flo was so... Happy birds.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. I had a bottle of red wine to myself at night. Yeah, it's quiet. 30 seconds to answer, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We'll come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. Our player today is Tamara. Good morning, Tamara. Oh, good morning, guys. I'm so excited. Oh, great energy, great attitude. Do you get called Tam, Tammy, Tim Tam?

Sometimes I get Mara, but... Oh, Tamara. I really focus on it. the T-A. Yeah, Mara. Mara. Mara. Oh, we love a nickname on this program.

Yeah. Mara, what do you want to spend 10 grand on? Well, I had a bit of a brainfire on the weekend and I reversed into my partner's boat trailer and they all may not have caused a little bit of damage to the trailer. Wait, did your car come off okay? It's the trailer that's bugged. Yeah, the tow bar hit the thingy medoubly dackery thing. Oh, yeah.

Mass and thingy, McDoodley, that sort of thing. We know boats, and that is 100% of part of the trailer. Damn. You get it. Okay. We get it. We get it. Well, let's get 10 grand awards that.

Surely it's not a 10 grand bill. Hopefully there's something left over for Tamara to try. Bigger cross. Just some Botox. Oh, okay. There you go. The letter you're going to work with today. Tamara is F for fine lines, which you can treat with your Botox.

And my partner's, named Scott, and he's the one No, no, Tamara, I said fine lines. Glad we had this. F for Fantastic. Yeah. Oh, F for Fred. F for Fred.

That's what I said sign lines. What sign lines getting treated with Botox? Okay, okay. We can do that. This is me trying to be creative with my words. I should just. Hey, lucky we nodded that out, though, although I should have been jumping in with S words.

I know right. I never know how far to let him go, you know. Anyway, Tamara, we've sorted it. We know the letter. Are you ready to rock? Okay, I am, yeah. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter F, we need you to name a baking ingredient.

Flower. A musical. Pass. An adjective. Vote. A video game. Fast from the period. A kitchen item.

Prime pen. A rom-com. Ball guy? A school subject. Pass. An occupation. A flight attendant A country

A five-letter word A five-letter word FART I'll allow it Yeah Very much after the buzzer We got seven Question mark

Could have been Could have been less Could have been more Let's go through them A musical could have been footloose Now an adjective What did you say for adjectives? Froze

Oh no that's a verb Did you say froze? No I said float. Oh, floats. Okay, yeah. Either way. A video game.

Now, Fast and Furious. I know obviously it's a France. We'll see if it's been made into a video game, not sure. A rom-com full guide. Now, would that be action or rom-com? I don't know where that comes under. I mean, there is a romance element, but I don't reckon Hollywood would have called. That's where my brain went.

Yeah. I don't know if Hollywood would call it a rom-com. No, nor do why. School subject could have been French, film studies, food tech. Shaga, what do you got for Fast-Furious? Fast and Fast-Furious is a game. It is. Oh, great.

PlayStation's a war. award that four guy is an action comedy so we can't award that. Oh, okay. Hey, still end up with seven then. Look, you don't go away with the cashola, but you do get $100 to spend at Platypus. Join the Kicks Club now at Platypus. That is all yours.

Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. Thank you, Tamara. You can tell your boyfriend, Scott. Look, it's not a new trailer, but let's go get some new shoes. It's just as good. Some sorry shoes. Yeah, sorry shoes.

Thanks, tomorrow. We do play again tomorrow at $6.308 for $10,000. Up next, I'll go. more chances to get involved in the show, in the call of fame. I feel like I have piled on my soulmate, the love of my life, the father of my child, a lot in recent weeks.

What? I don't reckon. Well, I want to make amends next. What are you doing? Because he did one of the great, great acts of love displayed that to me. We're going to ask, when did you feel like your partner really knew you? Do it after Olivia Dean.

It's Jess and Ducko. Happy Monday. When did you feel like your partner? Just really understood you. A really small moment that you went, oh, we are meant to be together. I feel like I've piled on my darling husband. Has he said something?

No, no. You said something. You were like, geez, we've had a go. Well, you've had a go. Did I? Yeah, I think it was last week. I can't remember what the story was because they're all blending into wine. It just made me reflect.

Wow. I mean, he's been a bad boy. If you're a naughty boy, You're going to get your dirty lawn. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that's why his focus was on rectifying the situation, but something happened over the weekend, Ducko, and he's back in the good books.

It's going to be hard to get himself out of the good books after this unbelievable display. Yeah, yeah. We had a cheeky hankering for some grilled over the weekend. Just wanted a little burger. Yeah, nice. And we try and do the thing I was out and about, but it's getting up to lunchtime.

So he went, I'll order it on the app. You swing by on your way home, pick it up. Oh, yeah, nice. It'll be under Angus. Grills one of those stores when you're getting takeaway. You don't want to hang in there for too much longer. Because people dine in there and you're awkwardly just sitting there. Exactly.

So this system, we've worked out pretty good. I tell him when I'm 15 minutes away, he puts the order through. By the time I roll in, I go, order for Angus. Oh, yeah, sorry. Did you guys get 25 nuggets? Orator for Angus? Did you guys get... This is enough for a small tribe.

So, he knows my order. We never have to go through it. I'm simply grilled with cheese, whatever. You can take care of it, honey. Yeah. I'll pick it up in 15. Yeah. I roll into the store and there's an A-frame, you know, like the little billboards, the sandwich thing.

And it has the advertisement for double crunch chicken tenders. There's a picture of this thing. I went, jeet, that looks fantastic. Took a photo of it. Before I've made my way to the counter, took a photo of it, sent it to Angus saying, geez, let's get these next time. He obviously doesn't reply. I see.

It's two steps until I get to the counter. I don't look at my phone again. Yeah. I get to the counter. I say order for Angus. Now, what's never happened before is they run through what's in the bag. For some reason, this bloke starts running. Yeah, they do that to me.

They do the grill. I think it's because Uber eats drivers go there heaps and they can be mismatch. Fair enough. I've never actually had that. For some reason, this bloke, the young guy working, starts running through what's in the two bags. I'm like, why I've got two bags? He goes, you've got the simply grill with cheese. Yep, check.

You've got the summer sunset. That's what Angus likes. You got the sweet potato fries. You got the chapolipo. You've... Lits them all off go. You've got the double crunched chicken tenders. Oh, yeah, he saw him and went, she'll like those.

I went, wait a minute. He's already bloody put all the water. Of course it's about food. Of course it's about food. Taco. Nom, nom, nom, no, no. I had sent him that picture. That is good.

He'd already done it. We hadn't discussed... We get the same thing every time. Yeah. Hence why I can rattle it off. And he's added it to the list. He added it to the list. Did it taste sweeter?

Yes. Now I can't accurately tell you if these things amazing, or I was just imbibing them with the good positivity of my husband clearly knowing me very, very well. It's kudos to him, man. He's gone, yep, I am set. Ducker, you know what's important

to me. Food. Thank you. Food and giving food. Being looked after when it comes to my appetite. Yes. The man, this is what our vows come down to, Shagai. The man clearly knows him. Yeah. It's together eight years. This is how you keep the romance alive. It would be special when you see it and go, geez, next time. And then he's already done it.

You'd be like, oh, yeah, that's nice. Absolutely. You know, like maybe you spend a bit of money in a store and they go next time you have a $10 voucher. I don't want it next time. I want it now. My bloody wife just takes my grill burger and eats it. Oh, it's really good.

I get her dry one. Thanks, honey. We'll do that tomorrow. When did you feel like you? She's like, how many nuggets he had? You've had too many. I've had the same men as you. No, this last one's mine.

See, I couldn't. I couldn't. That's divorced. If Angus question my nugget can suck. I tell you what? I ate most of those chicken tenders on the way home. He didn't even get any of them for you. It was literally, it was to keep her quiet, just to keep her eating.

He was just like, oh, peace and quiet. It was an eye for the car. It was a car snack. Yeah, it was a car snack. It can't eat the burger in the car, can I? No, that's messy. So I just wanted to do, 13, 1060, those little moments, I'd love to hear from someone who's been together for, you know, 40 plus.

Yeah. Maybe it's a bit humdrum, you're feeling like you're going through the motions, and they do something that makes you say, you really, really know me. Just quickly, mine, I spoke with that story a couple of weeks ago in New Zealand where I had a complete brain mouth function and couldn't find a toilet and then ends up peeing in some person's backyard and the cafe that they owned and they yelled and I felt really, really bad and I ran back to the car and I was so embarrassed and Morgan wanted a coffee and I got in the car. I was like, we're going to leave. We're going to leave right now. No coffee for you, please. She didn't get her coffee.

And she's like, why would you do that? And I just looked at her and she's like, okay. I know you. She's like, you've had a daco moment. I'll just, whatever. Okay. I understand you, sweetheart. And for that moment, I was like, no one else would take this properly.

Like, no one else would love me after that. And she did. She did. Because she understands you. She loves you. She gets it. And even after, over a decade together. Yeah.

She gets you. So 13, 1060, those little things that make you go, wow. Yeah. They really, really get me. Jess and ducco. When did you feel like your partner really understood you? Yeah. I had this wonderful moment where I saw something I wanted to eat.

next time, walking into grilled, seeing a new product thinking, oh my God, I wish we'd ordered it this time because my husband had done the order on the app. Now that I say it out loud, why didn't I just add it to the order? I could have just waited at another. No, you don't want to do that. No, you're right. I didn't want to do that.

Once the food's there, you know, all right. I'm picking up and trying to get back to a hungry child and hungry husband. Turns out he'd already added it to the order. And maybe that feels like a really sad indictment of my relationship, but I've never felt more understood by the man who I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with. There's brownie points up to wazoo, Ducco. Yeah, he gets you.

He gets me. He's going to be dining out on that for a long time. Absolutely. How many weeks, would you say that gets him in the good books? Oh, my God. So that was just on the weekend. Oh, it's a good month for me. Oh, month?

I reckon it's a good month. I'm very easily pleased. Yeah. My wife just messaged him one of the rare occasions. We'll go to Sherlene first. Oh, okay. Shirlene? Sherlene.

Sherlene? Charlene? We all had a crapp. We all had a crapp. Good morning to you. What happened when you felt like your partner really understood you? Well, during Cyclone Alfred, my birthday was on the Sunday and we knew we would be flooded in. So I had had this whole thing planned of wanting to go for seafood lunch for my birthday to celebrate.

And we were flooded in, couldn't get out. So on the Saturday night, my partner is like, don't worry, we've been flooded in already for two days. So he prepared this, like, on the Thursday. So Saturday night, he was like, don't worry, I'll cook you dinner. So he cooked me dinner, and it was a full bowl of muscles in a white wine sauce. And then for breakfast on the Sunday, which was the day of my birthday, he cooked me garlic prawns and scrambled eggs and toast. Right, you're getting your seafood buffet, Charlene.

Then for dinner, he did a wagging steak with calamari with a servant sauce. What has he done wrong? I was like so shocked because I'm like, we've been flooded in for three days. So he totally prepared this on the Friday or the Thursday before. That's when you know. That's when you know your partner knows you. Preempting it. Just got the fade out there.

Preempting the cyclone, Ducko. I'm not sure what happened to that. I wish, that's something we're all my fader. Preempted the cyclone. I know. I know. That's huge. My wife. Should I go back and see what she has?

the next day for dinner. She got the seafood buffet of her dreams. Hey, mate. No one was more invested in that than me. That's a woman after my own heart. Food. Key to Charlene's heart. Actually, last night,

speaking of knowing you, not knowing, Morgan literally said to me, she goes, we're having dinner. She goes, would you like a juice? With dinner? With dinner. What are you eating?

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I'm sorry, what kind of juice are you having? She goes like, I just poured some apple juice. She poured a glass of apple. juice with dinner. Firstly, apple juice is for children. What?

That's what I said. I was like, do you know me? Grownuffs should not be drinking apple juice. Yes, and secondly? No meal is apple juice the right accompaniment for? This is what I wanted to run through with you. I was wig down. She's like, you always have juice with dinner.

And I was like, what? I mean, I've personally never seen you do it, but her family grew up having juice with dinner. No, that's like the families who would have a glass of milk with their dinner. They were that family too. Hold on Babs. What is that? One of my housemates has juice with her dinner sometimes too.

Is it an apple juice? I can't fathom that. Yeah, it's like an apple or sometimes orange juice. No, orange juice is definitely an AM drink. Yeah, it's so bad for the teeth as well. I was like, do you even know me? How could think of anything worse than having a juice for dinner? He's darling Angus, you know, ordering the double-crunched chicken tenders without me having to ask.

And here's your wife offering you apple juice over nighttime. And then a milk. What I'm hearing is it's not therapy. 13-1060 as well. Do you have a juice with dinner? Like, because we all... Let's keep it going. We all think that that's weird, right?

Let's get Charlene back on. I want to know if she had an apple juice with their seafood buffet. Jess and Ducko. We were just doing, on 13, 10, 60, when you feel like your partner really understood you after your partner got you some food. Yeah. Didn't even have to ask for it. He'd added it to the order already.

But it turns out, Ducko, that was the wrong question. Yeah. It's the wrong question to ask. Yep. Maybe a lot of people not feeling like their partners do know them. Not a lot of love out there, you know? The right question. Yes.

Centered around June. Juice, because my wife asked me one of the strangest questions for dinner last lunch. She goes, would you like a glass of juice with your dinner? And I was like, I'm sorry, do you know me? Where did you get that? Let me know we had that juice. What a way to keep the spice and romance alive? You guys have been together over a decade and she can still, well, I was going to say surprise and delight.

You are not delighted because who has juice with dinner? I wigged out then. I was like, that couldn't think of anything worse than having juice for dinner. Who over the age of nine likes apple juice? Yeah, for dinner as well. I get for Brecky. Her family was a juice on the table at all times for dinner. Do you remember the first time you went over for a meal for dinner and juice was offered to you?

Juice and milk. Oh my God. Yeah. And I've never been that kind of family. I'd rather go thirsty. Yeah. So then we asked, do you have juice for dinner? Josie's called in 131060.

Josie, what say you? Wait, what? Do you have juice? Maybe she was calling for my question. Oh, okay. No, I love juice. I'm so with Morgan. I love apple juice.

And you have it for dinner? And I have it for dinner, I have it, like, I don't know why you guys aren't having juice for dinner. What's wrong with you people? Josie, apple juice as an accompaniment for a meal, isn't it completely taking you out of the meal you're eating? Like, if you're having an amigal ring and then you have a sip of apple juice. Yeah, it would taste weird. Even like orange juice is the best. I love it.

It's all breakfast stuff for me, Josie. I don't mind a good juice for Brecky, but past midday, I don't know if I can do it. Yeah. I'm 30 and I love juice. Okay. Hey, that's all we need. You're in her camp. There you go.

Scanzer, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Yeah, great, babe. We're talking about having juice at dinner time. Are you putting it on the table when you're having your spaghetti bolognese? 100%. My wife takes it a step further in that she loves ribina.

And she now refers to it as her low. We are in our mid-30s and don't drink. And this 37 or 35 row is so excited when she cracks up the ribina. There you go. This is a different level, man. Merlo. I used to love her ribbo. People think she's... Oh, that's all that means. There's some juice in the system. Ribbon is a different level. Like, I mean, it's one thing having an apple juice, if someone whips out of ribbina, that is such a strong taste.

You've got to dilute your ribena, so you're getting the dilution, correct? Yeah, Merlo. Wow. There you go. There's juice lovers out there. There is, people having juice. It's just not an accompaniment. Nah, not for me. It's too powerful.

Jess and ducco. A way to talk about and show love for your friends. is with a hug, with an embrace, and there's been some new research on how friends hug each other. Yes, there's, of course, romantic hugs and how long they last and the intimacy of them. But there's some data done in Germany, actually, Ducco. Can you take us to Germany? Which stereotypically, the Germans seem like a harsh nation. But they've done the research into hugging.

They're an important non-verbal social behaviour that plays a crucial role in both romantic and friend relationships. Great. But what it says about you as a person and how your hug talks a lot about your relationships with said friends. During a bit of pit bull there, I just went around the room. You hugged everyone. Because I consider you three friends. Well, colleagues, I mean, Babbs sees us colleagues.

We all know that. Well, yeah, yeah. This is where the star... This is where the star... We're friends here. This is where the star contrast of how I see them and maybe how they see me as the researcher in this experiment. But here's one.

You know I'm not a hugger. We've made a deal out of this. I know. I try to get a personalised handshake going. I think we've done it once outside. Shaga's definitely not a hugger and Babs hates being touched. She's not a hugger. So three of us are not huggers. No. And you are a hugger.

I am quite honestly of the five love languages. I see myself in all of them. The physical touch is up there. You just hit in every box. And I am working with three people who do not want to touch me. We don't wear. We're not huggers. And who don't like I've ever hugged Babs. I don't think I've ever hugged.

Can I give you a hot tib. I don't have ever hug shy guy. Don't waste your time. Oh. I started with a shy guy cuddle. Oh, yeah. Because he's tall. You should be good hugging. Well, cuddling a hugger a bit different, aren't they?

Oh. Pardon me for using the words interchangeably. You're absolutely correct. He's cuddled me, and that is nice. Hey, I hugged shy guy. I hugged shy guy. And you immediately felt the pelvis tilt backwards. Oh, yes.

Which I appreciate as friends. You do not want that. That's like cooties. Any friction. Yeah. I didn't even realize. I was about to... You do the lean away.

I'll do that sometimes. You put the arms in, you lean away. Our chests were barely touching. He was at a full angle away from me, and I was about to reprimand him. What a flaccid hugger you are. But then I followed it up quickly with a hug from baths. Not only did she try and push me away,

it lasted less than a second. It could not have been less friendly. There was no touching other than her hands. on my back, which according to this research out of Germany, would suggest I'm not even in the friend zone, let alone have any romance between us. I don't like hugs. Do you hug your boyfriend? Yeah, all the time.

Ducco was the only one. This is going to sound weird, chest to chest. I felt your chest on my chest, which is what should happen in a hug. Oh, yeah. But for a bare... Hugs are an intimate thing when you really think about, am I. For a bare minimum of time, I don't think that was longer than three seconds, which would again suggest hardly in the friend zone with you.

The ducko? But there is a fine line with hugs where you hold on for a fraction too long and it becomes weird. There's like, we're friends, where friends, are you hitting on me?

I have told you the deepest... You know what I mean? Like, it just goes, it goes to that little... I've told you the deepest darkest secrets of my life. You know so much about me and I can't even get a longer

than three second hug. Not even in the friend zone. I learned last week you like conspiracy theories. I don't know that about you. So, you know... We're still surprising each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we would suggest length of time

and how much of your body is coming in. into contact with your friends. Chest on chest. Chest on chest. We don't want pelvis. Shy guy was right in that regard. The chest on chest and a three second minimum embrace.

Three second feels long. Are we Mississippi in those three seconds? Because that's a while. Absolutely we are. This is coming out of Germany. The Germans know how to hug. Foot distance, knee distance, pelvis distance and chest distance are all main contributors to the efficacy of a hug.

And all three of you, I'm going to say, failed. We all do the lean out. Yeah, but you also are coming at me going, get me a hug. Yeah. Let's try it. Sorry, I have a chicken tender in my mouth. Now, I'd love to see this experiment. Go on.

Go on me. To make me. Come on. She doesn't want to make. Now she's making it weird now. Come on. No, just embrace. Look how weak,

oh, between two weak huggers. Let's see. Oh, he's gripping. He's very tall. Yeah, she's so soft. That was weird. That was weird, weak and classic. And she got like a Lego.

Like a Lego figurine with her hands? Like they're all together. The tap is also reprimanded a duck. Oh, don't do the tap. The tap. The tap. I saw the tap. No, that was quite hot.

I thought the tab was a good thing. I thought it was good. Tap's like, how are you, buddy? Tap suggests you want it to be over with. The Germans are saying don't tap. I was hitting you like a... Yeah, that's driving flow. Jess and Duck.

Great. Just keep watching. Hit breakfast, Jess and Duck with you, 852. Oh, geez. You see Kid Loroy and Tate McCrow having that awkward exchange of the VMAs. Oh, my God. Because she had just done one of the all-time great performances. Yeah.

Yeah. But once she was obviously sat back in her chair, she looks over. There's the kid. He's looking at her and he's smiling. Smiling, trying to get her attention. I'm assuming to give her a hey thumbs up. That was wicked. She looked away awkwardly.

Now, it is cut up. People are questioning, ah, has this been stitched together for the internet or did that really happen? Yeah. Like that because, God, it was awks. It was awkward. I think it could be cut up. It could be cut up.

I mean, the Emmys are today. Oh, the Emmys are today. There might be more awkward moments from award shows. Well, taking the kid going to be in there. I don't think. They won't be there. I don't think they're nominated for me. Are you just bringing up the Emmys?

Is that your award show of choice? You like the Emmys. Amis is TV, yeah? It's Emmys is television. Yeah. Yeah, I like... I won't watch it. What's the one that's both TV and movies?

Gold and Globes. They just try and do it all. Yeah, yeah. The Globes will be... Geez, that'd be the start of next year or later this year. Okay, Emmys is just TV. Emmys, yeah. Who's up for all the Emmys show?

I did see Kate Blanchett. Our girl, she's up for something. I don't know what TV. She's done, but I saw she's reping the Aussies. Good on her. Yeah, yeah. Also, don't forget, it's five-star fly away. After 9 o'clock, when you hear Mr. World White,

Mr. 3 or 5, Pitball, you call him, because you could be seeing him in Vegas. Five-star luxury at the Venation, $1,000 spending money, which you can or not spend on a ball cap to, obviously, as an homage to the great man. He does that when they go to his shows. They wear the ball cats.

Absolutely. I saw a great meme the other day, and it's like, Pipple gets into music, assuming all these fans are going to be hot girls, throwing themselves at him. No, it's all hot girls with ball caps on. Just loving. Just loving it.

Loving it's music. It literally is. Girls ball caps, a white button up, a jacket and then a black tie. That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of that slouchy suit look. Yeah, yeah. But after nine, you're right, you hear Pipple. You call Babs, 13, 1060.

Her or one of her helpers. Get involved. We'll put you in the boarding lounge. That's exciting. Very exciting. And tomorrow as well, more chances at the call of fame. The call fame today, though. I'm so used to a co-fod.

I know, we've had a couple of weeks of co-fod, but now it's just the bigie. So we draw that on Friday. 500 bucks to spend it at reflections. Rightly so, I mean, it's a massive one. It is massive. And even though they've got parks right around the state, they're sort of like, no, no, one person gets to win this. So they've got to be the cream of the crop.

Some good calls today. Excellent. Thank you for your contributions around. Is juice acceptable for dinner? I might do another poll. Yeah. Or put it on Instagram, Jess and Ducko. And maybe you will accept your wife's offer of a glass of apple juice with your dinner tonight.

Couldn't think any worse. I actually could not think of any worse. It just doesn't accompany anything. No, having juice for dinner. Like, it was lasagna, too. Oh, wine should... Your beverage should complement your meal. I agree.

Not take away from it. I agree. Sasha, I want to say, it was like, I got the divorce papers out. It was that bad. Apple juice is another one of those things. We touched on cherries. Wild. We touched on cherries at the start of the show.

And now apples at the end. But I like cherry as a fruit, not cherry-flavored drinks. Apple as a fruit, sure. Not apple-flavored drinks. I'm on apple juice. There's a time-in-place, though. Oh, that's time-and-plice. I often go for, like...

I wondered if the same principle applied with the cherries. I often go for, like, a ginger... juice or like a, oh, good for your immunity. Like ginger and revive vibe, you know what I mean? Yeah, immune boost up. But you're not having that with a meal? No, no, no. See, I like a green juice, but that is a time of day and it's on its own.

Maybe a bacon egg roll in the brecky, but yeah, time of day, not dinner. See, now you blur in the lines. This is why your wife offered it to you. I've seen you have a juice with food. You juice boy? So why not a lasagna? Yeah, I don't know. It was such a weird meal I have with, too.

Anyway, watch this space. Hey, we're out of here. We're back tomorrow. It's Tuesday, which means... Bav's blog. Oh, the blog. Thank God. And we do have an early game

who writes... Oh, yeah, we do. We can't say the name just yet, but it's going to be fun for our early listeners. You get involved. You win that call of fame, though. And if you win the call of fame of your contribution to that topic,

I guarantee you'll be dining on on that story for a long time. Forever. Mm-hmm. We're out of here. You missed any show. Grab it on listener or wherever you get your podcast. Tune in and we will.

See you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Joshy's called in 13, 1060. Josie, what say you? Um, wait, what? Jess and Ducko! That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Take a trip to McDonald's Land today and try the new McDonald's meal with one of six collectible souvenirs.