Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | We still need to work each others gapes out...

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Shhh noone tell the boss we did a show before our offical launch next week!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mega Brecky McRap has arrived at Macas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Oh, I do declare what a lovely, lovely way to start the year. Wasn't it? To start the show. Truly. What a fun time.

That was really fun. That was great. Are you recording? Yeah. What are you recording? Nothing. Don't we have stuff to record? Yeah.

Podcast time. This could be it. This could, yeah, leave it there. Oh. Welcome to the podcast. The first one ever of Jess and Rowan. How did you feel today? It felt great.

I was running my fat little hands. We knew what they were doing and they did everything it was meant to do. Muscle memory. You called them fat that time. Thank you for flagging that child. And you pointed it out. Pricks. Pointed it out with his skinny fingers.

Okay, now you're jumping on. Well, if we're going to do it, let's go hard. I reckon that's our motto. If you're going to do it, go hard. Yeah, do it. I like it. With a lot of fun though. Absolutely.

And it was really nice to come back to radio if you're just joining in. I had three years off. Someone did say, do you mind if I read it? Is it a good one? No, no, it's actually quite, it's, hey, they weren't anyone, anyone's contribution is valid. That's true. Because you don't like it. It doesn't make it not valid.

To me? Yes, it does. Melissa. Oh yeah. I remember hearing the time Rowan left radio. Oh yeah, yeah. And it was heartbreaking and sad. But I'm glad that Rowan has had another chance at the best radio show ever.

Holy back, baby. That always makes a mark and makes him feel like a family member. Who's that? This is from Melissa. Fuck with you, Melissa. You can swear on the podcast. Oh, I say, I fuck with you, Melissa. That's the best.

Hell yeah. It's fantastic chemistry with Jess and Rowan. You're doing fantastic Roe, Ro. Hell yeah. Keep it up. Send me a DM, Melissa. That's so nice of you. Zach said, I miss Ducko, and I said, Zach, just get out of you.

We just need to wear Zach down. Some people's hearts are more open than others. I get it. You get it. I love it. We are heart open people. Not everyone is like us. Melissa, heart open person.

Hard open person. Zach, a little bit more closed off. He's all right. He'll wear him down. He's getting there. What's he going to do? Listen down the hall, please. Sorry.

So, the whole show? No, I will select bits and pieces of this. That's right. We won't put all of it in. Not all that needs to be heard. Like we say in the, like there was a break in the show. Do I listen to the podcast ever? Never.

Never. Only when you had the chance to audition. I mean, smart from you. At least you started listening then. I just thought I maybe have a bit of a listen to the voice. Yeah. But I had my own. But you also knew me, so it's not like you were learning anything.

Yeah. And if I ever want to know about that show, how's a show girl? 100%. And you'd be like, yeah. And you'd ask often. Didn't I ask often? And it's funny because I thought when you were asking that, you were in, you had implied knowledge, but you really were coming at it from a blank canvas.

Never. Is the boss there? He's just there. What up, Jace old? Do you want to come in? Now, this is the feedback I want. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

To be fair, Babs and Shigai guy, I think would be pretty honest. You should like once. Oh, yeah. Good morning, boss, Chase. Just quickly, you can just say a couple of little things. You don't have to say much. On the pod. We'd love your first.

No rules apply on the pod. We'd love your first impressions. I swore three times already. First show, very good. Yeah. Funny. Great. Good job.

Lots of learnings. Oh, okay. Lots of back out of comments today. Well, enjoy the show. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Chess and Rowling. Jess and Rowan.

In 2026, something new for breakfast. You know Jess. Truth is, I'll poop the pets. I trust that a fun. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, horny, happy. Yay! This is going to be good, it's going to be fine.

It's going to be all right. A little bit out of mind. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good.

Oh, we're back on. What do you mean back on? I'm sorry. I've been living a life of squander by myself for three years. And now I just assume it's all about me. We are here. Surprise. We tricked you all.

Yay. We've been saying chaos commences Jan 27. This is a soft launch. So if you happen to be listening, well done. What a treat for you, and I would love you straight away. 048-8-106-9.

It is our text line row row. If you are with us. This is history, baby. It is day one of a new era, a new dawn. Yeah. Shy guy, can you make a list of everyone who texts right now? What are you going to guarantee them?

What are you sending them? Just some extra love. Oh, that's nice. Just in the ether. You can be like a... Nothing physically in the post? You could be like, I was a 23rd er. And we'll go, oh, we know what you mean.

What is that? Oh, that's the date. You know what I'm saying? You get it. You get it. I love it. 04-8-8-1069. What's the text line, Rowan?

048-88-18-1969. Very nice. I don't care for 8-8. I don't care for 8-8. I've never heard that way. I thought you were doing that. the wrong number. So did I for a second.

8-8-8-18-1069. Thank you so much for being with us. It has been a hot minute since we have been on your radio stations. Aaron's the first one. Aaron. Good morning, Alan. Good morning to you, Aaron. I'm going to give a little bit more sauce to Aaron.

What did Aaron say? Hey, man, I'm here. What did he say? Hey, Jess. Hey, Rowan. Okay. Aaron gets no love. With a W.

That's like hey. No, but that's like Sean. There's 15 ways to spell it. There's 15 ways of something. Morning, Melanie. This is the best news made my day. Melanie. Good friend of the show, Melanie?

I'm not sure. Oh, okay. And Amanda, morning, Amanda. She says good luck. Amanda. Nice to meet you all. Oh, he doesn't need luck, Mandy. He doesn't need luck because he is in good company.

I need someone to send some coffees this way. Babs, I think that was directed at you. A couple of hashys. Some hash browns. You're the new coffee and hash brown slinger. How do you feel about this? Slinger this way. How do you feel?

That is so fine. Nice. She's got a good attitude, this girl. Great. Can't say the same for Mr. Guy. But I know you two have known each other for so long. In fact, longer than you and I have known each other. Yes, so shy guy and I, shy guy is actually one of the first people I met when I moved to Sydney from.

That's true, I know. Because you were homeless. One of the, dude. Did you put him up? Dude, dude, there are some things. Oh, sorry. There are some things. I was kind of homeless.

You were house searching. I got a page side by that. Between. We had a meeting at the start of the week. any no-go zones team? You did not mention your period of homelessness. This is what I'm saying. It's been so long.

I forgot that I remember I was sharing that house, that Brazilian dude who didn't speak English? And he snore and I had to kick his bed and he'd go, however you're saying Portuguese, like he just goes, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And then continue to snore. And I was like, why am I here? I need to leave.

I could have been a teacher in long-sister. How did you know he was saying, sorry, if you don't speak Portuguese? At one point. You barely speak English. No, no, it's a tone. It's a tone. Oh, excuse me.

Yeah, yeah. Miss Goosey, me scozy. It's not how you guys. Sure. You've gone Italian as well. Oh my God. And then we got rock. It was like 15 people living in the house.

We all got robbed. It was so bad, dude. Well, these are the kind of anecdotes. I know you got robbed. But can you imagine? I didn't, I didn't tell people that. And then, and then, can everyone just imagine, me getting robbed with a Brazilian in my room?

And then I had to go see shy guys. It's very intimate quarters. One side. We're not the same bed, but like we share, I had a single. He had a single. I was like, your brother's growing up. Didn't even know the guy. They were like, we have a room.

is down in Sydney. And that was 10 years ago. That was 10 years ago, dude. It'd be a $400 bed. Wow. At the moment. Better off getting locked up. Go to prison.

I least you get your own room. Actually, do they get their own room? They have Netflix and stuff in the room. It's great. It depends on what you're in for and why you're there. That's true. That's true. And that's fair enough.

I'm no expert in jail. If you were going to get arrested. I don't know jail, you know jail. Shy guy, knowing Rowan as well as you do, someone calls you and goes, oh no, he calls you from prison and goes, I've been arrested. What is your first thought of the bride? I think.

He committed. All of my knowledge from this realm comes from suits, which is also a recommendation I gave Rome in the day. Okay. You kicked into law. So what would Harvey do? I don't know. Who would he call?

He walked him with his hands in his pockets and threaten someone. No, no, I'm not asking what you do. I'm saying what a crime have you assumed before he tells you. This is a great question. I think that Brazilian guys had something done to it. That's what I'm thinking. You reckon he's easy. What are you done to the Brazilian room?

He's put a pillow over the Brazilian's head. Interesting. Me and the Brazilian used to talk over Google Translater, my Mac. It was crazy. Way back then. Oh, before the glasses and the earpieces. And then I would have such an awful night and I was to go hang out with Shy Guy. And he was even weirder back then.

Well, then you killed the Brazilian. That's going to be a terrible night. Thank God for Shy Guy. Lots of texts coming through. Oh, sweet. Linda, Lauren, Luke, Matt, morning. Good morning. Shannon, Simone.

Sweet. John O. Oh, well, that's wonderful. So these are 23rd. These are 20-thirds. I love it. Rowan, we were very conscientious not to put anything on social media, but I did do that at about 4.30 this morning.

So I hope across the morning we get some more love for you. Welcome. I should probably tell our colleagues too, actually. From me to you, from us to you, from the rice cookers to you, welcome. You know, I've been getting a lot of rice cooker messages, hey. It is so exciting to have you. It's a clan. Yes, I've had to defend you to a couple of people.

By the way, everyone, I have the, I have the, I have the, I have the, the login. The account. So I can see them. You can see the DMs team. I can see them. I'm not sure how big people think our team is. It's us.

It is me, Rowan, Shark, I and Babs. And I don't check them. If you ever get a reply and then you get another reply, it's because I feel like to back myself up. But no, we are so grateful to have your company. We are going to have a lot of fun. This is Jess and Rowan. People might be listening, Ro Roe,

and thinking, what is this? Am I hearing an extended commercial? Yeah. We obviously had some. Little promos, commercials running over the Chrissy break, had some videos on our social media. And people thought, hang on, have I missed the start of the show? They have not. No, we were telling people Jan 27.

Ah, but you're on the 23rd. When in fact, we've done a soft launch. It's like a new relationship. It is. You know, when all the celebrities put a photo of their new boyfriend, but it's just their pinky finger in frame? It's a soft launch. It's a soft launch. This is a pretty dramatic soft launch for Jess and Rowan.

This is a hard launch. Coming straight off of the big sticks. Yeah. But I feel good. It's wonderful to see you. It's nice to be here with you. I want to apologise to you on air already. Why?

Shaga, I feel like I fat shamed Rowan before he'd even stepped into the studio. Oh my God. She bought me a shirt we could wear together and it's too small for me. That's funny. I custom made us shirts. If you'd like to have a look at my boob here. You've really put it right there on the bosom. It's right over the bosom.

Does Babs have one? No, sorry. Maybe Babs can wear mine because it doesn't fit me. I didn't spawn commies. I did it What are you trying to say? What are you implying if it doesn't fit Babs, it'll be insulting. Based on something that was said last year, just between Rowan and I,

tried to make us... No, he threw it back at me. He goes, you bitch and threw it back in my face. I don't say that. I custom made a shirt with it says fist and roll. Because based on something Rowan said last year, The automated captions on Instagram thought he said fist and roll instead of Jess and Rowan. And I thought, how funny.

That's funny. I'll make us custom shirts fist and roll. I text your girlfriend, Lucy. Good friend of mine. I said, Lulu, I'm going to make a custom shirt for Rowan. What size would he wear? I didn't want to assume, brother. I appreciate it.

She told me, XL. No, a bit more. He put it on this morning, shy guy. And it... Was it like a skiffy? No, it did. It was very nippy. I just was like...

It was very nippily. I can't be in the studio with me nips like that. It's very cold in here. We like it. We like it cold. We like it cold. The high beam. So I just wanted to apologise.

Don't apologize. I don't think I gave you the warmest welcome. And I've tried to make a big deal about welcoming you. It's been so nice. It's not nice when someone guesses your size. Oh, do more. No, do more if you want to do some more warming. No, we can leave it there.

But I just wanted to get that on the record. That it was Lucy's fault It was Lucy's fault Yeah, I just wanted you to feel so Welcomes and happy and look custom Which I paid for Did not get Spongon. Put my own money towards it

No, I like the shirt I just would like if I was a bit trimmer Through the weird section Yes, I can say that You can't watch yourself Don't call him that either Call him what? He said you can't, never mind

This is Jess and Rowan And we have a text line now I've never had a text line This is a lot of fun for me. It's wonderful. 048-8-18-1-069. God, you sound so much better at that than me. 0488-18-196-9.

You have to say... To be fair, I've been reading it out for six years now. It is your first day. You have this tone. Thank you so much. I get complimented on my diction all the time. Oh, yeah. Diction, for sure.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you have some texts? What do I want? Ten years of drama, baby. And being yelled at for sounding like a bogan. Hit your tease, Jessica. Okay, I will, sir.

We do have a text. A lot coming through. Thank you so much for tuning in for the soft launch. Soft launch. Of Jess and Rowan. I like this one from Debbie. She's a rice cooker Rowan. What up, Deb?

Now, last year, Rowan, we used to do a thing on a Friday called the Friday banger. Oh, right, right, right. There's a little asterix on the Friday banger. Moving forward for 2026, I'll let you in on that. Okay. But usually we would all bat up a song and then use the text line to vote. Oh, I've got you.

What the rice cookers wanted to play. Yep. It is a Friday. Debbie is referencing the Friday banger. But she has said, no need to select a Friday banger for myself this morning. Jess and Rowan are own. Yeah, baby. Look out to my co-workers, writes Debbie.

I am coming in pumped. Totally nice. Glad you were back forever a rice cooker. Debbie! Good on you, Deb. Great to have you, Deb. Deb's a fun one. These are the kind of people who are in our corner, Rowan.

I hope you're feeling the love, baby. I'm feeling the love. What do you got for them? I've got a really funny one. We sound yesterday. A great one. Let me just read you the headline. Nude, Louisiana women attacked a cop after trying to be a mermaid.

Like I said, something I feel like you would be doing. Mate. I don't know attacking cops, but mermaids potentially. I have certainly entered my mermaid era. Oh, this is what you want to do? Yeah, okay. We need to work on that for sure. You're going to say mermaid.

You obviously need to give me some aerial. My two-year-old, Rowan. Oh, sweetly. You've met Lucia. Sweet Lucia. Massive mermaid fan. Really? Loves mermaid dollies.

Loves to be a mermaid in the pool. Her swim teacher. Let's swim like a mermaid, luge. Oh, I think it's going. Ten minutes to bed, little mermaid. It's the book on repeat in my house. So talk to me about being a mermaid. Listen, this lady...

Look, I don't want to get arrested for him. No, no, no. Totally. Oh, sing it, Ariel. Wish I could be... Part of that. Can I tell you something that my husband will be really angry. Disney songs could be a little bit more hooky, if I'm honest.

How dare you? That is one of the OG. Can I tell you a secret? Yeah, yeah, please. Just quickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before I get into it. It's Gusy's favorite Disney song. Yeah, I knew it.

Makes sense. What a loser. He is a bit of a mermaid, though, that guy. All right, this lady. He loves a power ballad, Gusy. This lady got naked and was swimming in a pond. Pretending with aspirations to be a man. mermaid. So is she one of those people who feels like her identity is a mermaid?

Well, yes. She'd been... So she's like, I'm just living my truth officer. So allegedly, allegedly, allegedly, she's been trespassing in this pond, right? Who owns the pond? These people that own pond. Is it a privately owned pond? Yeah, it's a privately owned pond. I didn't know you could privately own a pond. No, it's like saying that's my river. You can. You just get a bunch of water and put it in a hole. And then you've got a pond. Totally. That's a puddle to me, but I can. Well, we should get clear what's a puddle what's a pond? Where does a puddle become a pond?

Should I go write that down? Is it depth or is it width? Or is it if there's a mermaid or not? I think it's, it could be mermaid related. So basically the homeowners who actually owned the puddle said pond. Yeah, yeah. They've called 911, alleging the trespassing. Well, they've seen a naked lady.

Just availing herself, nude, swimming around, probably legs together. I was going to say, if she was kicking like a swimmer, not allowed. No, no, no. That's a nude woman. She was doing a knee thing, for sure. Yeah, yeah. They tried to get it out of the water.

Farch, they tried to get out of the water. She screamed at them. Yeah, I said, can you get out? Then the cops came, and they said, can you please get out, madam? And then I guess she tried, she just spoke, she might just spoke English. But maybe she tried some mermaid language.

What does mermaid language? Whoa, whoa. That's whale, but, sorry. It's part whale. That's part whale. Why? Do you look at me and do that? Because you'd know,

were you trying to get permission? No. I just was like, you'll know. I would have avoided that. You'll know. Anyway, if a puddle supports life, it becomes a pond. That's a great one. So if I have a deep puddle in my backyard.

And if there's a tadpole in it, it's now a pond. That's right. It's how it works. Well, wouldn't you say tadpoles, bit mermaid-y, don't they just have like the one flipper? Yeah, no, one little tail thing. They become a frog, I know that, but at tadpole stage. Fluoride in the water.

I think there's just, what's fluoride in the water? We're not fair. That's offensive that one. So they eventually get the C-Nymph out of the water. Who, the cops? The cops get her out. So they had to get wet. I would be pissed off.

She's screaming at him. She's mad. They hit her with an electric jolt, bro. They tazered the mermaid. They tazered the new wet lady. You can't do that in water. No, they must have got her out of the water. They'd have to kill her.

She was still good. Yeah, well, how's a mermaid with electricity? Yeah, now good. I can't imagine. I'm sorry, what am I looking up? Can the mermaid survive? A tasing. She kicked and punched the deputy.

and the statement notes that she was finally. Oh, please stop you there. Kicked the deputy. Mermaids wouldn't kick, babe. They've got the fin. They'd be slapping. This is Jess and Rowan. Make your holiday next level with Royal Caribbean.

From weekend getaways to South Pacific family adventures. Book now at Royal Caribbean.com.com. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge. On deck with Jess and Rowan. Welcome to the Caribbean. We are strong. Starting this new show, this new year, with a bloody bang. Not only alpha bucks around the corner for $10,000.

Yeah, yeah. Rohan. We're doing something big. As of Tuesday, Monday's a public holiday. Uh-huh. We want to send you and your mates, you and your family on a bloody cruise. Now, Jess, you did say with a bang. Would you say we would start the year with a...

Did you catch me before to say we've got a hot and horny giveaway coming up? Oh my God, I assumed you meant sexy. Well, it's pretty sexy. It is pretty sexy. I don't have how people get down on these things. You'll get to know Babs, obviously, as we spend more time together, Rowan. Right, right, right. She is Mistress of the High Seas.

She is Sultan of the Seven Seas. Really? She loves a cruise, her and her family. A big cruisers. Hence why she said, look, this is what the people will want. Cruises are hot. Hot, baby. Cruises are a wonderful family, babe.

or you and some friends. So our mates at Royal Caribbean went, all right, we'll give you one to give away. Thanks, God. So as of Tuesday, you listen out for that sexy horn. Sorry to me to do the horn again? Every time I say horn, I'd love to hear the horn.

It sounds like my house around 8.30 after all the bad food I've eaten. Oh, bumhorn. A little bumhorn. When you hear Rowan's bumhorn, you call 131060. A little bum trumpet. Oh, bum trump. I've never been on a cruise. I've never been privileged enough.

That sound. I'd love to hear it in real time. What do you mean? We do. I hear it all the time where I live. No, but I want to be on the boat. Oh, sorry, nothing too local. My apologies.

I want to be on the ship. No, don't you do. Not all of us are on that blocky radio salary row. I'm not on it. I guess I am. As of Tuesday, when you hear that horn. Oh, sorry. I said, every time I say it,

you're going to call us. on 131060. Please, yeah, please, go. You are going to decipher a series of clues. Stop me from getting any of this wrong shy guy. You're nailing it. You're going to decipher a series of clues of an activity. We will describe to you. On the boat.

Have we actually described? Have we been through that yet? Or we make it up as we go. That's below our page. Shigoths do all the activity? Let's go, dude. I actually had to thoughts about it. Yeah, yeah.

He's going to do all the ways. Wait, do you give them me the activity to do? You'll read them out. Oh, then they will do the activities. Jesus Christ. we've had a couple of meetings. Have you not been in any of those? Sorry, I've been here all week working.

Well, how come I know about the tactic then? Because you've had more practice in this, obviously. We are going to describe an activity that you might enjoy on a Royal Caribbean cruise. Or one that maybe shy guy has had a little to. Oh, really? If you can decipher that series of clues, you go on the ship list. You go on the standby list and then you could win that amazing Royal Caribbean cruise. How good is that?

Seven to nine nights. Yeah, wait, hang on. Why is it seven to nine nights? Because you've got two options. Option one. That's a fair question. That's a fair question. Go to you, me and you Caledonia.

We don't often pick people the choice. Obviously, you're picking the nine-nighter. What did you just do? Say it again. The cruise you choose? Oh, that's what I'm saying. See what I'm saying? See nothing's set in stone.

This is the beauty of radio. He's fluid. He's doing that. Who's still what the cruise? You're doing a $9.9.9. What it's on our dollar. So stick around for that. Hell yeah. A hot and horny giveaway to launch our new show.

It starts next week. This is Jess and Rowan. L'Aupper bucks on hit. Yes, it is back. The famed game that is $10,000, 7 and 8 o'clock. $10,000 people. And yes, I appreciate we were telling you for weeks. Jess and Rowan, new for breakfast.

27. Well, we are soft launching today, Jan 23. Thank you for all the love that's coming through via the text line. Yeah. Jesus. Hell yeah. Now you're okay. By the text line and on DM. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. A lot on DM. But for the first voice on our radio show, Rowan. Let's meet Jordan. Yeah, Jordan. Hello. Welcome back, guys. Thank you. Well, I'm coming back, George. But this is Rowan's first. Hi, Jordan. Nice to meet you. At least in this room, George, he's been in radio for a hundred. years.

But Jordan, me, Rowan, how are you enjoying the program so far, George? I'm loving it. We're moving house today. So you guys are helping us with some motivation. Good luck. Keeping the vibes high, the music. We love to hear it. Well, thank you for being with us on the soft launch.

Yeah. What are you going to spend $10,000 on? Definitely some house renovations would be so good. A new kitchen maybe. Oh, okay. I picked out a tap yesterday, Jordan, for my own kitchen renovation. In the whole $10,000? Bro.

Bro. Totally. What's with fixtures, guys? Too expensive. I want a matching pot filler. No, no, no, I'll give you that. Pot filler's very important. Thank you.

Yeah, very important. But yeah, there goes my Alpha Bucks money. So, Jordan, it's important. We get it. We are in your corner. The letter. The first letter for Alpha B26. B.

B for Brel, which does a great kitchen appliance. All right, George. Jordan. All right, let's go. Are you ready to rock? Yes, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter B, actually, Rowan, how are you good?

You got your button and your timer. You're ready to rock. I was talking to, yeah, I just said, is this all good? Shaghani. Yeah, just do that. You got the night. Oh, sorry, bro. I haven't been here for a while.

You're ready for the timer? We'll see. Time will start after the first question. Yes, got you, got you. Starting with letter B, Jordan. We need you to name an occupation. A barista. Something small.

A bead. A maid. actor. A type of cheese. A puff. A shoe brand. Path. A body part.

Bones? A DJ. A non-alcoholic drink. A path. A pantry item? A path.

Oh no. Matt, you were out the gate strong. I thought we were on here. It is hard when it rolls. Like it is hard when it starts to go. We were sitting here before just pumping it. Jordan, unfortunately, you don't walk away with the 10 grand.

You got four. Do you want to educate Rowan? Do you want to go through the pastures? Or do you want me too? No, you go. I can do it. Type of cheese, you could have said, Bree or Blue, my favourite.

Shoe brand, we were looking for Birkenstock. Yeah. A DJ, Mr. Benny Benassie. A non-alcoholic drink, you could have said black tea, berry smoothie. Black tea. And a pantry item. I could have accepted a lot there,

bread bun. Marley Brown sugar. So unfortunately, no kitchen sink for you from us. You'll have to pay for that yourself, okay? That's on you now, Jordan. No, that's good. Thank you guys so much. Thank you.

But you do get the privilege of more vibes. Yeah, more vibes for us, Jordan, if that's okay, with you move. I will take that. Oh, great. Thank you so much. Thank you, Jordan. All right, we will do it again at 8 o'clock and talking about my thoughts about coming to work, guys. Oh, my God.

You'll do that next. This is Jess and Rowan. Your husband is coming. New for breakfast in 226, Jess and Rowan. Hello, that is Ray. Where is my husband? Do I have turned Nan in the middle of that? My husband is coming.

I have heard that. My husband is coming. I used to think it was like a cartoon or something. I don't have any live nans. So unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to do that. I got one live nan and she keeps going, one more. The way with her birthday, I go, hey, birthday, then. Or she goes, she goes, Merry Christmas.

And she goes, oh, it's good. One more. One more. I go, Nan, just stick around, bad. My Nana Borg used to always hit me with you don't love me. I was like, Nan, you can just say I love you and I'll say I love you back. You don't have to do this weird, like push and pull. Like I don't love you.

I know I get your dressing gown every birthday, but... It's the generation. I don't know what else an 86-year-old lady needs. It's all toxic. I'm wearing her rings today, Nana Borg. Oh, good-day Nog. Aren't they beautiful? They're so woggy.

Wait, both of them? No, not the green. I was going to say that green one's dope. And definitely... Nah, the stack. The stack is Nana Borgs. Borgs would be stacking. Amen.

Maltese, babe. We don't do things by half. Yeah, don't do things by heart. Come on now. Don't get half pregnant. But we are new for 2026. There are still things to learn about each other wrong. Quickly, what's your nan's name?

Margaret. Live nanny's Margaret. Did she go by Maggie? Not. No, I think it's always Margaret. But I think that comes from dad always going, bloody Margaret. I think that's what it is. Is that?

So he's talking about his mother-in-law. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Copy that. So Margaret. I want to know, Nana Margaret. I love nanny. She's divine. Because you've not been.

radio for about three years, but you've been in the industry for 207? Yeah, I started when I was 16, like community college kind of, like, I'm sorry, community radio at college kind of thing. So I've been doing it for age. I did it as a way to like basically try and, because you used to get university points at the college I went to for being on radio. And I was like, I'm useless at everything else. Maybe I can talk my way into some good points.

I have a tongue and some vocal cords. Maybe I can just have a little chitty chat. Let me use my tongue appropriately, right? That's right. You know what I'm saying? And then I went to Sydney to learn and do more radio. met shy guy. Is that, was that at the radio school?

That was at TAFE. We went to TAFE. Yes. We had to do a pre-course to get into the radio. Pre-course. We couldn't get into the radio school, could you? It's a pre-course. The school put that on.

We had to do the TAFE first. Yeah, and the head of the afters was like, I didn't know you lived in Tasmania. I came all the way to, went all the way to Sydney. To follow your dreams. She was like, you didn't have to do that. And I was like, thanks, Fiona. That's unbelievable. And then, so yeah, then we went to after together.

And like, shy guys was like one of the first people I met when I moved from Launceston to Sydney. Oh my God. Like outside of the six people who live in Tasmania, you're like, here's another human being. It was a real raging leaver when I left. They all came out from Hobart. Then the one person lives in the monstesson was me. And then we met at Kiss in Melbourne.

That's right. This is circa 2015, 2016. We were both little behind the scenes bunnies. Yeah, just work horses. I was a promotions coordinator. Yeah. And you were a content assistant, which is still to this day, one of the great, what the hell does that mean?

I've done that job. I see what that means. No one knows what that means. Someone guessed. We did share that on Instagram when people were asking questions about us. People were asking, okay, what does content assistant actually mean? Someone guessed, did he write captions for social media? I don't think Instagram was a thing back then.

We wasn't really a thing. And I don't remember. Oh, it was because we took, remember that we had that like Canadian club. Oh my God. You're sorry. That's where I pulled the freaking photo from. I wasn't doing a lot before then. And I did some really dumb.

Maybe there was a bit. They didn't care. Raddy didn't care about socials back there. They're like, oh, it'll pass. And also it was a beautiful time where there was. There's a lot of budget to go around. So you could have someone doing a job like content assistant. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one knew the meaning of. It was like a development role. Whereas now, Babs has about 15 hats on because she has to do all those jobs. So many hats. You're basically a content assistant of this show. Yeah. Hell yeah. I'll give you another hat if you're not careful.

Sorry, I don't know why. What are you going to give her to do? She does everything. I was going to say, you've been with her for an hour and 18 minutes. You can't now get her off side. Babs and I went, I and Shrigo, went to J-Car yesterday. What does Jeff? A trip.

Oh, we went to... Something for your car? I needed cords for this studio. No. No. No one wanted to rewire the entire studio. Let's be honest. Oh, Jaycar does that.

He said, I don't want this on the left. I want that on the right. And our engineers went, all right, well, you can go by the cable then. And he went to... And he went to... And he went to J. Yeah, and then, like, J-car has, like, lots of things. By the way, not spore.

I'm not going to say a name anymore. But they have, they have, like, lots of fun little, like, party lights. I've never been to J-Car before. No, me either. So party lights. For the studio? plug for it last year, so we'll work on that. I was a bit concerned, shy guy, because

I did text Rowan yesterday regarding something or other, and he said, hey, I've got the boss's credit card. Do you need anything? Still got it. I've actually still got it. I realized I had it at home last night. I had to text you for it because I needed it.

Oh, sorry, bro. So did the party lights get on the boss's credit card? Yeah. Babs wanted to buy a bubble machine. Oh, Babs. Yeah, babe. It was so cool. I just shut that one.

It was fun. Cool. Way to be sensible, shy guy. Wait, do you see what else we bought, though. Something better than a bubble machine? I think better. I think better. We won't tell you what it is yet, though. It is very exciting to have you.

Three years you've been just twiddling your thumbs as a DJ. Who would have thought? You're not on the radio again. Who would have thought? Not me. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, we just got a funny text, if you don't mind. 048-18-106.9.

It is so nice to see so much love coming through. Someone has just text. Please leave your name because it doesn't come up. other life. Good note, good note. This person has said, Morning Jess, shy guy and Babs. Welcome back and morning not ducco.

Thank you. Okay. His name's Rowan. 743. Write that down. It was the first ducko ever. Hour and 43 minutes. You know, every time I go to talk, I go, don't say Jess and Ducco.

Don't say Jess and Ducco. Well, you actually, if I may say, been a fan of the program for a little while. So you've heard Jess and Ducco. I mean, I like Shai guy. Thank you. Not a bit of fan, bro. Come on, man. Come on, man.

I'm pretty funny. A bit of gift. A bit of fun. You've tuned in. I'm back. Be honest. Yeah, yeah. Go on.

Be honest. This will be really good. Did you only start listening to the show when you had a sniff that you had a chance to audition? Or were you listening prior? How dare you even ask that? Because the most we've talked about the show is when you had a sniff of auditioning. Oh, tuned in today. It's great that.

Never said too much about the program otherwise. No, I didn't really. I really didn't. You're such an asshole. I'd never listen to. to the podcast, never until I was like, until Jace called about maybe the job. Fifteen years we've been friends. We've...

Oh, I've listened to the show, bro. But like, when I moved to where we do the show, sorry, cut me too local. When I moved, I would like listen if I was up, but I wasn't up. Oh, pay that. I guess we have just established that you've been DJing in the depths of the night at the clubs. Depths of the hell and the clubs. So how has it been? Like, I know it's been a day.

But shifting your body. brain into returning to actual work. No offence to the DJs out there, but that can be pretty haphazard, right? You don't know when the money's coming. You don't know when your shift's going to be. Yeah, three years was all, it was all chasing invoices, sending invoices. Hey, you haven't paid me. Can we not argue over $50? A lot of painful stuff like that. Totally. Well, that's the, the gig economy, right? Totally. The gig economy, exactly. And I went from basically being the loudmouth runaround of the office, like the personality hire fully. But I was on air, so it made sense. in the middle of the day.

So he would come in at, like, A, leave at the end of the day, like everyone else. But I would run around just finding stuff to do by talking to people. Then I went from that to basically, like, a studio in my house, writing dance music. So it's just like listening to like a kick drum, bong, dong, dong, dong. And really getting used to. It's you yourself and your headphones. Totally. And the doof, dof, doff beat.

And the deep thoughts, man. I just never like, and even when my partner Lucy would be at home with a day off, I'd be like, can you leave the house and trying to work? So it went from like, because it just. So you wanted to be in the cave to get stuff done, but that is very isolating. Well, what happened was my life kind of changed from being around everyone to around no one. So all my friends were just out DJing at night. So I'd only see people who were out DJing. And then I realized when I came into work and started working, people would walk behind me.

You know, that's normal. People like sharing the same, like, I have to wait for the coffee machine. Normal. Yes. Hey, can I get into the church? It's like you have to learn how to become a functioning member of society again. A couple of the lovely girls in the office, Sarah and her Shelley, both asked me to help them film a TikTok. And my initial thought was, bug her off and leave me alone.

Yes. Just because I was like, why are you asking me to do things? I'm working. I'm an island unto myself. Never thought like that before. I was just like, I used to be like, oh, I didn't want to do TikTok. Like, just because I was bought. I didn't want to have to work.

Now, I've kind of conditioned myself to be the little caveman, just working away by himself. So did you do the TikTok for Sarah and, yeah, of course. Grudgingly. And I feel it really well, too. I want to have a good reputation around the office. It's not this you guys a snob. No, I was really nice. But internally.

Yes, what conflict? I just was like, I'm working. Even though like codes and compliance we have to do legally that I wanted nothing to do with. Which I think you've broken three already this morning. So that obviously sunk in. Welcome to the brand, baby. Welcome to the brand. Hot and horny, baby.

But it's a weird one that coming back to work. Yes. Particularly in an industry, if I can reveal something that you did share on your social media. A job that you thought would be forever. You love radio. You love this industry. But you were kind of booted unceremoniously. And so had to really reconcile with, well, there goes my dream job.

Yeah. I now have to find a new passion. And then boss, Jace, gives you a little ring and ding ding late last year and goes, hey, Ducko's pulled the pin. You want to come and audition? And I was like... That must have been such a wig out. It was a week.

I was a bit like, well, let me ever think about it. Do I actually want to do this and get booted out again? Did it feel like an ex coming back to you going, please, I've changed. I've changed. Every gig that I played, like DJ had was hard. Because I was like, do I want to be here or do I want to be there? Yes. It was literally like an old ex.

Your heart is still in that relationship, but you got hurt so bad. I never had the old X thing because they just left me and they really moved on. But this one had come back. No, X has ever come back to row road. No, I'd be like, hey, you want to? No, good to know. But this X came back lovingly. Well, look, it's me on the other side of the desk.

So nice. And you're doing a killer job. I'm so proud of you. It's scary doing this, hey? It was a little bit, it's actually more scary. that I didn't know how well it would go. Because when I used to do it all the time, I would barely even think about being on air,

and things would just happen. It would be like everyone's job. But then now I was like, I think I know. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing, but it's always, I don't really get nervous, but I more so get a little bit uncertain of how things are going to go.

It's a bit of imposter syndrome, almost. Potentially, but I know I'm good at it, so I'm good to do it. There he is. You know what I'm saying, baby? This is Jess and Rowan. Alfa Buck's up. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit.

Yes. Ten questions, 30 seconds, one letter, $10,000. Simple as that, baby. It's actually really easy, so I'm surprised I haven't gone off yet. Okay, we've played once at seven. And I'll get a lot of trouble if it goes off somehow. It'll be the new guy's fault. Nikki is the second voice that we have had on our new show.

Nikki, good morning. Good morning, team. How are we? Couldn't be better. Are you enjoying? Let's be real Rowan. Nick, look, it's different, but I'm vibing. it. It's not that bad. Everybody needs to chill out and just accept him. He's brilliant.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Nikki. Nikki. Nikki. I've never had a more backhanded compliment in my life. Nikki. I love, hey, we always want honesty from the cookers. Everyone needs to chill out and accept him. Who are you talking about, Nikki? Are there forums or group chats that we don't know about where people are popping off about the new guy? Look, no, I just feel like everyone put a duff or a bit on a pedestal and sort of back up and come on and, you know, try to replace that. It's a bit of a hard task because everyone put him on a pedestal. Thank you. So, no, I'm vibing it.

Ro, you're doing well. Thanks, yeah, Nikki. I love that from you. Thank you. How have I been so far? Quick little temperature check. Been all right? Oh, look, brilliant as always, darling.

God, love you, Nikki. I swear Nikki and I am not paying her. I will, though, if she gets 10 out of 10, I'll give you $10,000. Nikki, what do you want to spend the cash on? Look, we've got four kids. As I said to Babs earlier, Christmas robbed our bank account like something chronic. So we've actually been toying with the idea of get a caravan.

Nice. Getting one big enough for four kids is a bit of a stretch. Of course. All right. So let's get $10,000 into a maybe high interest savings account. Yep. Bulk it up a little bit. And then get your caravan with enough storage to cart the whole family around, okay?

Yes, please. All right. You're going to work with a vowel today, Nikki. You have got the letter E. E for exciting, which will be when you get $10,000. Are you ready? Yes.

Rowan, are you ready? All right. Shy guy. Yep. Come on, Rowan. Give me some good luck. Hey, it's not me, mate. You're doing the questions.

She's like, just asking for luck. I'm just asking for luck. There you go. There you go, babe. Nikki, your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter E. We need you to name. A country.

England? A clothing brand. Ooh. Pass. An animated character. Elmo? Something in the bathroom. Uh, nut puff.

Something round. Egg. An ice cream flavour. Egg flavor. A currency. Euro. An adverb. Extra.

A type of bird. Eagle. A female actor. Some great answers in there, Nikki. Let me do a quick count. One, two, three, four, five, six. Is extra an adverb? That is the one question.

Mark I had, Nikki. I don't know. That was just something that came to mind. No, Fitt, usually the blanket rule for adverb, anything L-Y, so easily or eagerly. It's an adjective. Oh, it's an adjective. Google says it's multiple. I'm awful with all of those.

It says the now-and-a-and-a-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-all-old-creat. It says the now. It can be multiple things. Six is what you're walking away with Nikki. I am going to pay eggplant ice cream because I feel like it's something Heston Blumen-Bole would make. One of those kooky chefs would create. I'm like organic freak that we have a little. You can't. Spray the smell around as you're eating it.

I'm going to pay that 100%. I'm not going to pay Elmo. I'm sorry. He is a puppet. Wait, for what? The animated character. You're not getting that one, Nikki. He originates. Maybe. It's not the difference between $10,000.

It's not, but I always like learning. Okay. And the next person... You're really hard in this and I appreciate it. I've been playing this game for 10 years, bro. I've been around the bush. Nikki, you have been delightful. I've enjoyed your company so much. Thanks for joining the show, babe.

Thank you so much, guys. Have a good day. You too. How was that? I know, everyone just needs to chill out. Yeah, I really like it. But it did make me concerned there are chats happening without us. Like some people have DM'd us, which at least they're saying it to our face.

There'd have to be lots of chats happening without us. Speaking of which, you've got to. Give us a song launch day one. New for breakfast, 26. Jess and Rowan. Absolutely. With Ptoe. This is Jess and Rowan.

I had an experience in a tube. Sweet. An MRI tube. Oh, so you flying somewhere? Where did you go there? No. Just the big magnetic metal tube, the terrifying MRI experience. They are scary, bro.

Now, I had a couple of instances over the break where I got these, which have since been diagnosed, Rowan, thunder clap headache. You ever heard of a thunder clap headache? It doesn't sound like it's a nice thing. No. I was in traffic and a cop car put her long. lights on behind me. Yeah. I thought I was getting pulled over.

I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, but you know that classic thing when a cop car is behind you, you immediately go, am I breaking the law somehow? Yeah, yeah. I knew I was doing the speed limit. I wasn't touching my phone. Seap belt was on, but she's put the lights on. And I had this immediate wave of terror that resulted in this crazy headache. As we all do.

All she did was do a U-turn. But I just thought that was a really weird. Wait, did you just say we all do? Do you get that stress headache as well? No, no. I meant with this, the sirens and what I'm done. Yeah, fair. But I got this proper, like, migraine pain.

And because I'm a hypochondriac, I was like, booking in for the GP. That is not normal. I need a professional to diagnose me. Fair. That's right. And that's where I learnt the phrase thunder clap headache. It is a thing. Does it feel like a big clap?

Truly. It is genuinely like zero to 100. Pain behind the eyeballs. Almost lost vision. Like, it was crazy. So I just wanted some reassurance. But she wanted to go the extra mile on my GP and said, look, I'm pretty sure it's this. Happens to a lot of people.

But I want to send you for an MRI just to make sure we're not talking aneurism or bleed or anything. And I'm like, well, seeing the word aneurism, even followed by the words to rule out on a piece of paper is terrifying. Bleed, yep. So you go in and you book the appointment. And I know Shiger, you've had one recently. They're scary, man. They're not fun. They're not fun.

It's very, it's daunting. And you don't do them every day for a reason. No. But, Rowan, have you ever actually experienced an MRI? Yeah, I had a couple MRIs on, like, my ankle and stuff. Ah, you can do it on different body parts. So for your head, you are basically put in a cage. Your head is put in a cage to make sure you stay as still as possible.

So you're like to stop. Oh, that makes sense. Because any movement is going to blur the image for then the doctor to look at, right? Yeah, you can't. So you're lying flat on your back, head is in a cage. Right. And the lovely technician girl says to me, we've got headphones here. Would you like to listen to some music or a podcast?

You listen to like a calming thing, wouldn't you? Just like a soft, like a, like I needed to stay still. That probably would have been smart, Rowan. But I am very, very new to a certain fandom. And it's still rocks in my body hard. Oh, that's just what this is. So I asked, I asked specifically, before you play anything, I asked specifically, can I have some Lady Gaga?

because Lady Gaga will make me feel good. I'll be transported. Keep my eyes closed. It'll be like I'm back at the concert. So I'm lying there and it feels like it goes forever in a day, doesn't it? It's weird. It's so loud. It's probably all up, 10 minutes.

But it felt like I was in there for hours. So I'm there, Rowan. I've got the headphones on my eyes. I'm squeezed shut. Those scary noises are happening. Trying to take myself out of this scary situation in my mind. And this happens through the. headphones where they're playing Lady Gaga via Spotify.

Nasal sprays can feel like this. Say goodbye to spray struggles with brand new. A freaking ad for nasal spray interrupts McGar. Are you telling me these people have MRI machines are too cheap to pay for premium Spotify? Exactly. What is wrong with these people? I couldn't believe it. So then the issue is it plays the ad and then the voice comes on

upgrade to Spotify premium to go ad free. Gaga comes back on and then the voice comes over and the technician goes, Hey Jess, I'm so sorry, we're just going to need a little bit more time. The doctor needs to come check your images. Hang tight. Okay. So I'm listening to more Gaga and I get another ad. Oh my goodness.

And another referral to upgrade to Spotify premium and the rage behind my eyes. Nearly brought on another one of these freaking headaches. Thunderclaps. Pay for premium in this scary tube. It's 14. Like, here's my problem. I don't reckon it was the surgery's place. I reckon it was, oh, let me get you. It was the nurse's iPhone.

Pay your nurses more. Oh, do you reckon that's not a clinic? An MRI machine range is from $100,000 to $400,000 to $3 million. Totally. Jesus, that's a big jump. I don't know what the difference is. I hope I'm in the $3 million because I've since had the all clear. But if it was, you think it would have Spotify built in.

You would think. I don't want to hear about nasal spray. It's pathetic. Whilst I am freaking out about an MRI. So to anyone who is in charge of those sort of decisions. This wasn't like getting your head checked or something. I'm doing it, bro. Oh, yeah, that's true.

Anyway, don't ruin people trying to have a bit of serenity, whether it's Gaga or calming music, in an MRI tube with a bloody nasal spray ad. Yeah, pay for Spotify. This is Jess and Rowan. New for breakfast in 2026. This is Jess and Rowan. Good morning.

Maclemore. No, I was just vibing. My mouth was a gape. No, no, no. It was a gape. No, no, no. It was a let me speak gape. Was it?

See, we're still going to work each other's gaites out. This is the soft launch of the Justin Rowan program. Totally. We teased everyone that we'd be back Jan 27 when, hello. If I look at the calendar, it's Jan 23. We lied. We lied. And we're here now.

But we won't lie, usually. We're an honest program. We are actually on it. On the 27th. We will be. I loved how when I got the schedule back, it was like, we got Monday off. I said, great. This is my kind of job.

But can I just let in and let everyone in on something? Because are you a humble king or will you shout your achievements from the rooftop? Shout them, mate. Well, I might shout them like in front of friends and everything. Yeah, I don't think you're a brag. I'm not going to go on my social media and brag to everyone. No, so let me brag about you. Bragg away.

Team. Rowan has been in radio for like two decades, but has been out of the building for nearly three. There are a lot of buttons on his side of the desk. Don't be thinking just because I've been in the room longer, I then switched to the tech. No way. My seat was waiting for me. Rowan has upwards of 40 buttons and six computer screens in front of him.

Has come in every day this week to just familiarize himself. And you know what I did do? I just walked in and went, we need to make this opposite. That needs to go there. That looks the same. This will be good. How does that turn on again? I'm not even going to practice.

And I just walked out. It's so good, Shagai, because I think I was getting a little bit of an air of diva about me, and Rowan's gone in and just taking that crown completely. It's wonderful. Remember I said to you? I said, hey, I'm at Office Works with the Boss's car. I'll just say I wanted it. And it's so bad, Shaguer, because I generally couldn't think of one thing to spend on the boss's card. I would have got anything.

What are you? I would have got anything. I've got one blue pen. That's all I need. You're simple. So is this what we do? We could have spent a lot of money yesterday. But what?

Like, seriously what? From Office Works? We could have found so much stuff. you. Babb's wanted a weather station. Yeah, Babs... That's a fact. Yeah, but she is a closet meteorologist. Did you not... You don't know this about her.

Oh, I didn't know that. Love the weather. Love the weather. Okay, man. Take a break to a lap. If she could... I love the weather. She was looking at a $500 dollar weather station. I said Bab's not now. Why do we not do like weather reports with Babs or something?

Because we go right across the state, Rome. We can't have 15 minutes dedicated to weather every morning. No, do you want that? O4-88-106. Also, I can just tell you when I get to work every day if you want. No, no. Hang on. I'm already here. I know the weather.

We have a huge window. But it also doesn't matter for us, Ron, because we're getting up in the ass crack of dawn that you're dressed. It's too late to now decide what you're wearing. It's bads tells you at 6 a.m. There's something in this. We're going to flesh out the weather thing. Weather or not.

I know it's like. Weather or not. Nice. Didn't even know he did it. Grammar joke. Oh my God. It can be like whether or not. We call it weather or not.

We're called weather or not. And if Babbs is lying about the weather. You don't have a bet on that? I don't hate that. You don't hate it? It's so stupid. It's fantastic. Because I like Babbs being in the firing line for something.

You have to dress up. And she's so sarcastic most of the time. I don't reckon you've able to pick if she was lying or not. Whether or not. Tell us a statement right now, Babs, and we'll decide if you're telling the truth or not. Go. It's meant to rain this afternoon. No more than that.

Not weather related. Do something else. About your life, about yourself. Hmm. Lie. She's going to lie. I bought myself Blondstones in the holidays.

Boring. It's boring. Hey, hey. I asked for something else. I reckon it's a lie. You already own Blundstone. That's true. Oh, well done, shy guy.

No, like, that's true. I already own. You got it wrong. You got it right, Jess. Man, we can play this off air. This might not be a good game. I don't know. We wasted a lot of time.

We are doing a weather game with you next week. No one literally went and started typing something, so he obviously hated it. I didn't hear anything you were talking about. I was just typing in weather and everything, nothing is activated. The good news is the news team will give you your weather next. Ah, yeah, great. Nice, shy guy. We're not doing this swag.

We'll do it from Tuesday. This is Jess and Rowan. I'm Rowan. You're Rowan. I'm Rowland with a H. Good morning to you, Rowan. 04-8-18-1069. If you would like to shoot us a quick text, we would appreciate it.

Evey, good friend of the show. show has said, good morning. What a surprise. I've just come off night shift. Oh, nice. You guys told me Jan 27. Well, hello, soft launch, Jan 23. We hope you've enjoyed it so far. Make sure you're following us as well on Instagram, Jess and Rowan. R-O-H-A-N. R-H-A-N. Now, how do you feel about your coolness with you and your husband? Listen, as a unit or, like, what am I bringing to the table? Like, what's your husband, Angus's cool level and your cool level? Talk to us about where you're at with your cool levels.

I think he's doing a lot of the heavy lifting row. Okay, do you think so? I have never in my life felt cool. Never? I've been doing a bit of reflecting with a friend. We're working on a project together. So a bit of reflecting of my primary school days into high school, even as young as year three or four. I knew I wasn't cool.

And that has carried with me. I think I do cool things. My job is insanely cool. This is cool. We go on cool holidays and sometimes I have a cool outfit. But they feel all external at my core. Wow. This has got really deep.

I didn't know if I go to this way. You should go to talk someone about this. We can help you. But lucky. Yeah. A cool, sexy, well put together man like Angus married me. So as a unit, I think cool. See, this is the thing.

What about you and your part? I'm he's cool, I'm Lucy. But Lucy... He's such a big fat loser. So you're just saying you're cool, makes you a loser. See, fat joke again.

What a surprise. What a surprise. What a surprise? What's my shirt doesn't fit. Call me a big fat loser. Listen. Listen. Fatty's can't be cool.

There is a thing. Fatty's can't be cool. So I'm not cool. Should I test the dump button? Just call or something. Yes. No, obviously. Don't do that.

What even is cool? What are we doing here? Listen. There was a little road event. R-H-O-D-E. You know, Haley Bieber's, like, brand, road. The skincare road.

Yeah, it's skincare, yeah, yeah. Sure. She turned up to one of her own events in this awesome little hot red dress. Well, she's a supermodel. Of course, she looked amazing. Supermodel, right? Yeah. he's just a beaver bro.

Like he can do these things. That's cool. That's cool. What's cool? He looks like a mess. Like he looks like he's at a fight with a lawnmower. Do you know what I mean? He looks like a fever.

It's like 50 grand where it's people. Yeah. Oh, see, but now you're calling it. It's like Valencia. They sell shirts with holes and looks of burn and looks like it's been pulled through Puzzle of Mards. It still costs $4,000. This is the issue with today's society.

If I can get all AM radio on you. Just because it's $4,000 and says Belenciaga does not make it cool. Yes, does. I think it does. I think it does. You know what I'm saying? Babs. A hundred, look, listen, a $50 wallet isn't as cool as an $800.

Oh, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The number of compliments I get on one piece of clothing in particular. Where is it from? Kmart. That makes it cool. Not spending a week's wage on an item is cool. And getting compliments for something that actually is affordable. That's cool.

Do I sound cool? No, he sounds so lame. I'm good. Lame! Can we just write it down. We need a lame alarm. No, see, this is you. You are like me.

You? You are like me. We are try-hards. Lucy is the cooler one in your relationship because she is effortless. She doesn't care about other people's opinion. You and I, people pleases, not cool. I don't speak to yourself. I don't care.

You freaking care. I care, bro. You freaking care. They're just saying there should be like a compatible level. of cool. Well, that means Angus has to divorce me and Lucy has to dump your ass. No.

I... Sit up to a bro in the morning talking? No, I disagree. She does find food and homes for the homeless. Maybe she's a bit cooler. She's so cool and she's a good person. So is this saying... So am I not a good person? What are you saying there?

What's the last time you gave to charity? This is Jess and Rowan. It's so funny, mate. I just... I just got a little fart. I was sorry. Pro. I was I going to say.

Come on, man. Oh, sorry. That was Jess. My own little bump. Oh, bro. Stings in here. I just, after you have a baby,

you never announce it. Just because it's made me laugh. Just after you have a baby shock, I just lose all function. No, I get it. It's not the first time you fight it on in the studio. No, but it's just like. It didn't come out of your bum, mate.

Oh, man. It's all connected. Oh, something's connected to you. something and then when one's weak, you cough. I just haven't had that happen. It's like a two. Right.

When I cough, I fart every time. I do you haven't had a baby. That's your excuse. We learnt, we learnt recently, men can do kegles. So maybe you need to do like,

bum kegles. I wanted to read you a, DM we got a good friend of the show, Peter. Luda. Earlier this hour, we asked our alpha box player, Nikki, you know, what she thought of you. We wanted some honest feedback. She's honest. She basically said, can everyone just give him a break?

He's doing all right. It's our first show. And it just made us think, geez, what are people saying behind our back that Nikki has heard? She felt the need to come on and be like, hey, everyone, calm down. Let's give him a go. Well, Peter heard that. And she wanted to circle back and go, look, I've got a confession. I've been talking smack behind Rowan's back.

I may have called him T-Mood. ducko, but after listening to today's show, can say he is doing a great job. Thanks, Peter. We've converted Peter and Nikki, I think. So there's two wins. Great. I don't know how to respond to that. Thanks.

Yeah, thanks. You're going up. You're up against it, man. You just need to prove yourself. And that will happen over time. One lady on the Instagram said, I look from behind like I was Danny McBride. And I liked that. Oh, I didn't mind that at all.

We did a cheeky little tease a picture of you when it was just from the back. Yeah. I reckon she's nailed that, Danny McBride. He's funny as too. I like that guy. He is funny. And hang it, that guy. Anyway, how have you felt?

Good, great. As we approach 9 a. Need another coffee. Do you need to go have a lie down? You said you actually had booked in a coffee date with my husband. All right. That'll be rejuvenating. He'll ask you a million questions.

That's all right. Are you taking the child? Will I see her? Probably not. She's done to her daycare, darling. Oh, smart. I've got errands to run. Smart.

He's going to actually take myself out for a celebratory lunch. It has been a lot of fun. It has been great. Thank you for having me. More, more, more, more and more. I'm not going anywhere. Amen. He signed the contract, baby.

So as of next week, Monday is obviously a public holiday. We have a huge giveaway to kick off the new year. Please tell us more. We are giving you a seven to nine night cruise, you and three others. That could be family. That could be friends. Hey, that could be a good little bachelorette thing. Totally.

You and your bridesmaids, maybe. But what you need to do is join us Tuesday morning from 6 a.m. When you hear... The horn. Our hot and horny ship horn. Hot and horny ship horn. You give us a call. We're going to describe to you an activity that could be happening on a Royal Caribbean cruise.

You guess that activity. You go on the ship list, our standby list. Great name. And after the end of that time, you could walk away. With the ship. Well, you don't get the ship. You can be on the ship. It's a hell of a giveaway.

That's a hell of a giveaway. Oh, I've got all the taxes and petrol. I can't afford it. They've ruined me. They bankrupted me. I have heard mooring fees are very expensive to park your boat somewhere. Who did you hear that from? A guy who owned a boat.

A boat guy. You know boat people. And then cleaning the barnacles off the boat. These are the expenses you don't think about when you get given a boat. You won't have to because we're paying the bill for you. Totally. Not for the boat, for the trip. We'll play for the trip.

Well, it's all part of affair. But that will happen as of Tuesday. We want to thank you so very much. We know we were cheeky. We said we were starting Jan 27. So if you happened to catch us today, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope we gave you a little chuckle on your way to work or the gym or school or wherever you are off for your beautiful Friday ahead of a long weekend.

And we are back on Tuesday for 27. See you all then, guys. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. The Al Maco is back at MacKers. Try the new range today.