Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | We value silence

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

Jess has more conspiracies, we ask why weren't they the one and we play a round of Book Tok Bops!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the app. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com. This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to a Monday.

Whether you're listening to this on a Wednesday or a Sunday. Yep. It happened on a Monday in real time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So welcome. You'll hear a lot of... I want to see how many people actually listen to our show via a Zipodcast. You know?

How many of it? Is there anyone who... who refrains from listening live, they're in the car. They are commuting to work, but they go, no, no. I want the experience purely podcast. I just hear how on the pod. Maybe. I hate the music they play.

Well, I don't want to sit through the music or the ads. I only want talk. Yeah, I just want the show. I want the show in an hour. How do our numbers do? At the risk of this being completely deflating, do we rank all right? Yeah, compared to other shows, for sure. I love that compared to other shows.

Remember, there used to be a monitor that would go around network, Look, why? And you and I, we did all right in the national ranking. It had like a national... The person that does that. Oh, I got clicked. Was that their one role? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That probably can't justify a salary. It probably doesn't justify. It's always competitive, though. You'd see how many downloads you get that week and what you did. You know what I imagine? Because you and I sometimes outranked some of the bigies. Yeah. Some of the bigies complain.

Probably. You know what I mean. Yeah. If you got a big interview, that's why everyone was, that was when everyone was just trying to clickbait math's interviews to get the downloads up to a weekly email. Isn't it so funny how much of a priority we placed on that silly little made up table? So yes,

it'd be like, well, we'd better get a maths person because they're the ones that trend well. We don't want to talk to them. They're awful human beings. And all that table did was bat the shows up against each other and we are all one team guys. We are all one network. Oh, look at you, Mr. Company. No one cares that Brisbane talk to this person and Melbourne talk

to that person. Who cares? Have you seen Brisbane are in the shit at the moment? I actually want to message their producer. the courier mail. Is that like a bit of a tabloid up there? Is that like one of the proper ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's one of the proper papers.

On the courier mail's Instagram, they had a picture of our friends, Stababby and Matt, and it was like, ripped off. And it was something about how they've ripped off a segment one of the other teams had done. And all the comments are like, it's freaking radio. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone just recycles things. It's what you do. We're ripping off a show from a segment from Brisbane, aren't we, Triple-in Brisbane? No. Shy guy So what's the career male equivalent? The Sydney Morning Howard?

Yeah. Okay. Do we need to tell them that we're copying that? What is the segment? The segment is Hype feels dirty. Copycat scandal grips Brisbane breakfast radio. An embattled breakfast radio crew,

embattled, I'm pretty sure they're number one, are under fire after rolling out a new stunt that listeners say look suspiciously stolen from their rivals. I think it's Stav playing hide and seek. and you have to find him. Oh, I mean, that is directly stolen from Nova. Well, there you go.

Jason Lauren did the big hide-and-seek. Isn't that the future is? Which a two-day pioneered? No, no, no. Chase Lauren and Clint did. They camped out somewhere, did the show from there until you found them. That was the hide-and-seek. But this, to be honest, I didn't want to pay for a subscription.

Yeah, right. Put that behind a pay wall? Oh, no. Yes, but someone commented not, because Jason, Lauren, Melbourne. Someone is saying they copied 97.3. Oh, okay. Another Brisbane show. Kiss in Brisbane, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not sure they might have done a hide-and-seat. But, yeah, someone commented, all radio stations copy each other. What's the big deal? They've put their own flair on it. It's a different prize. Yeah. Who cares? The fugitive was B-105 back in the day, or hit back in a day, wasn't it?

Two-day, yeah, yeah. The futuret of was good times. We've never done something like that, have we? No, we never. It was a bit before our time. But it'd be like, they'd come on and be like, they'd give clues all day as to where they are. And across the day, you'd have to find. See, that's fun.

I'd love to do that. We're older in, you know, coals. Oh, sorry, it's not one of us. It's a random. It's a random. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a street teamer. Someone, people who, they don't know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would have a distorted voice and they come on and do like clues. I liked the one where maybe you and I camp out in a house. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they've done that. Is that that that one you were referring to? Yeah, yeah. That's hide and seek.

Yeah, hide and seek. They've done that one. Yeah, that'd be fun. We've never done Beat the Bomb. I love Beat the Bomb. It's so fun. See, that's the one, that'd have to be one of the most ripped off. Oh, secret sounds probably.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beat the bomb and be up there. Two things we've never done. No, we've done it. Oh, we've done secret sound stuff. Oh, have we? We've done like, celebrity voices. Yeah, well, that's completely different.

It was actually revolutionary radio game. We did celebrity voices. Remember that? Oh, we did. All the, all the celebs in a car. Yeah, cash cars and stars. No one had done that. Yeah, that was good time.

So creative. We gave away. A car or cash. Who's fucking team are you on, shy guy? I am on this team, but I've been a around and I know radio well. Yeah. What's going on?

Back us up. Come on. Let's come up with our own cool game. Babsie, did you even, because you're very new to this world. Did you even know that all of these have been around for generations and we weren't creative geniuses? Oh, I just assumed. Yeah. I don't know what Beat the Bomb is though.

Do you know of any games that we don't play? Like from other stations? I know about the Hide and Seek one and like the Secret Sound one and that, but I haven't heard of Beat the bomb is basically just an automated voice that starts rattling. off numbers and it gets bigger and bigger, cash amount. And you have to say stop before the bomb goes off, but it could have gone up thousands. I've heard of that before. $200.

You're going to play. $500. I'll be the bomb. $1,000. You didn't win anything. Oh, but I wanted $1,000. You didn't win it. Duffo would have paid you $1,000.

Another really good one is split or steal. Yep. Yeah, yeah. We, did we ever do that? We flirted with that. I think we invented it and then we did play for it. We flirted with it for sure. Do you know split or steal, Babs?

I don't think so. What's the premise again? There is $1,000 up for grabs. So it's like you get two randoms in, right? And they give their sob story. So it's like, I would use this money. If we were to split this, Babs, because if we both say split, we split $20,000, get 10K each.

Which is nice. If I say steal and you say split, I get it. If we both say steal and fuck each other, no one gets it. So we deliver, we talk to each other and I go, Hey, Babs, I'm going to split it. I'll split with you. And then Jess goes, three, two, one. We say it, and we see it from the same page.

So, Ducco, let's play. Ducco, convince Babs you're going to go split. What are you going to spend the money? I would spend the money on, uh, what do I need right now? And Babbs, you keep thinking about what you... Yeah. I would spend the money on an alpaca farm because alpacas are animals too, you know? And they don't get enough credit.

They bring a lot of joy to people. My daughter loves alpacres. My cousin's sisters, brother-in-law died, and last wish was an alpaca. So if I could only get an alpaca, that would be the best thing I could do. All I need is $20,000. No, 10,000. Because if we split it, we're good.

And Babs, what do you want to spend the money on? Well, I just really want to redo my whole wardrobe because my clothes are really old and smelly. How much would you need for that? I think I would be happy to split it. You'd be happy to split it? You'd be happy with 10. You don't feel like you're giving me split vibes. Are you going to split it?

Yeah, I'm going to split it. I feel like you to steal it. Three, two, one. Steal. You're an asshole. Babbs, you are the most naive person. Okay. It is your game.

That is one of those as well, though. I would rather you steal it than the company keep it. Because you know what I mean? If she had said steal, no one gets it. So it does feel like the better outcome. You play the next player. You play, you keep playing. Who docker keeps playing?

It makes a game last week. It'd be fun to. They'd be fun to play. They'd be fun to play it, but you need... New big cats. We would have to split it with, like, a packet of chips that I brought in, you know? We wouldn't have the money to split it. That would make me so angry.

Yeah, oh, I'd follow you up. Just playing for a packet of chips. I don't know what I'd actually do in the moment. Because people are coming on being like, my son's sick, right, right, people are still stealing. You're like, yeah, I'm stealing. Yeah. I'd probably split it, I reckon, if I was playing with a completely random, real money. Okay, what's the smallest amount you'd steal.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it was 50 bucks. I'd go for a steal. Oh, you're not doing life-saving surgery. Do you not? Five grand? Five grand. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. But if a 10 grand up, I'd be like, oh, let's split this. Because my issue is, yeah, they might be coming on with a sob story. They could be fucking life. Yeah, yeah, they could be. You know what I mean? Nine times out of ten they are. What?

Shoy guy. Don't ruin the bubble. We're breaking down the fourth war here. I did a contest many years ago where it was a similar premise where you had to just convince the other people you deserved the money. And the woman who ended up walking away with $10,000 had said she needed a vaginaplasty. because after four children, her vagina was that messed up

that she had prolapse, she had incontinence, and she was able to convince the group that that's what she needed it for. She was an unbelievable actress and then turned around and went, well, thanks for giving me the money. I'm taking my family to feed you. She did not spend it on a... So if you ever need to convince someone, Babs,

say you need to do vaginaloplasty. It's a good one, bad. It's a non-specific one. I haven't had kids, though. No, but you could just say I'll have a lot on the weekend or something. It doesn't matter. My boyfriend's huge and he's ruined. You just say the cheeks and we'll go, we get it.

We get it. We get it. She needs 20 grand. Split. Anyway. I would actually split if you said I need a vagina bar boy. It works. I think particularly on fellas because I go, well, I can't relate.

It must be very serious for you. That's true. No one's stealing money off a vagina plasm. Wouldn't do it. Wouldn't do it. Wouldn't do it to that. You're a good man. What have I said this?

All my life, Babs, I've had a small pain. And I just want to get it bigger, you know? I'd go, Matt, steal. You wouldn't even help a guy out. You don't even get half to buy the pump. Jeez. I'll buy my own pump. How much is a pump?

Probably not much. I can't imagine. Ask our friend, George. He might sound like that. You're the sex shop guy. Yeah, you're the sex shop guy. You go more than anyone, mate. For the show.

Oh, yeah. What do you mean? When I drove past the other day, you were just there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm turning up Jess and Ducko in the morning

Stop what you're doing And listen You know I got that shit that you like There's only one show to wake up with I'm not that easy to tang Jess I put something in my mouth the other day That had not been in there for a long time

I ain't gotta explain It's daco Don't eat your sister's poo Stop pooing on the day Got him going insane Yeah shy guy Well like when you buy a fan to Thailand You know you get it in a bag

Bad Nah brats Corrid sausages Fuck, yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Taco. Right on 6 o'clock, welcome to a team. Welcome to a new week. Hello. Hello.

Good morning. How are you? So good. Yeah. Jam-packed weekends. It feels like it's been an age since we last saw one another. Yeah, it does. How are you for this?

Fresh week. Yeah, rip on the can of the fresh weeks. I'm good. I'm good. Busy weekend. Had a charity walk yesterday for Run DiPG. Absolutely. Had your second wife visiting from up north.

Yeah, or third wife. Yeah. She's been demoted to third. Yeah, she's about third now. Oh, because she got the local one who's usurped her in the rankings. And that's similar names. It's a whole... Oh, you know what we found out, actually?

Talk to me. So, uh, Sydney second wife. Yep. Is dating this guy. And then the only mutual friend they had was local second wife. Shut. And then so then we mess... What are the actual chances are that?

So then Morgan messaged the, our local wife and said... Our local wife. Yeah. Yeah. And said, hey, uh, you know, such and such is just going on a date with this guy and you're a friend, she goes, I'm going on a date with him next week.

No! Oh, it's more than mutual friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, and he has no idea this bloke. He has pinged the two, well, second and third wives of the same family. This is unbelievable. Here's a real kicker, though. He's South American.

And he's 38, like they're, I don't, one is not 30 yet, but one's 30. Okay, so a bit of an age. He's just a hair. Oh, is it too much to reveal his name? Is he got a quintessential South American name? I believe he does. Because the only South American name we know on this program. Yeah.

Tell me his name's Pablo. No, it's not. And this sounds like something Pablo would do. Yeah. Get his mitt in anyone and anything. He doesn't care about, what's that saying? Where is he's eaten? It's everywhere.

He doesn't care. But the funniest thing is, like, it didn't stop either of them. Like, oh, they knew and they kind of got competitive. I was about to say, you know what the. issue is now. First, we were competing for the love of Ducco and Morgan. Yeah. Now we're competing for an actual love that might end up becoming possibly permanent fixture in this relationship, in this friendship. I think this guy gets around. I think his name was Diego. Like, I genuinely think it was.

I know. I know. There's only three names. I know. That come from South America. Oh, my God. Fernando. That's the best example of a name you've ever given. That is. And great. That's actually bang. I know, crazy. That is crazy. We unlocked out over the weekend, but yes, it was a good weekend. She was in town.

There are 7.5-something billion people on the planet ducco. Yeah, I know. And these stories happen all the time. And the thing is, these two girls, I'm not saying they're names there, but they're both named very similar things. Yeah, they're one letter off each other. Well, you know what the issue is for him? He's going to get a mixed up. I know.

Like, if he tries an axe, like, oh, I'm a one-woman man. I'm not seeing anyone else. He's going to call one of them. He'll moan the wrong name. He absolutely will. Yeah, I know. It's a wild world out there, that single last. That's the actual chance.

I know, it was hilarious. It's just no one else, and he's from Sydney, and we don't live there, and then all of a sudden, the one mutual friend was this one. I know. How did you work out there was mutual? Did you see, like, she follows him on Instagram. Yeah, they follow each other on Instagram, and then she went on Instagram and goes, oh. That's my, that's my Diego. Your second wife also follows him.

We're like, oh, we'll message second wife. Anyway, hilarious. But it was a great weekend. She was in town. Fabulous. You know, life was lifing. Oh, I love that for you. Yeah.

My neighbours sort of ruined my weekend. I'll get to that later in the show. Different neighbours. Okay, because we're already off the neighbours who had parked over the driveway. Different issue, man. I've got issues. Oh, we get the council involved again. Don't tell me.

I was my own council. I was my own council. Okay. We've gone vigilante, have we? Oh, yeah. Because you did say the council acted pretty fast. Yeah, they did. Obviously, not fast enough.

My dog's old ducky fingers over here, baby. Yeah, anyway. Okay, look forward to hearing that. Shire Guy, how are you today? Good. Had a good weekend. Didn't do much, but it was good. See your mom?

I saw my mum on son Saturday. Shazard, did you tell Sharon we said hello? Always. Always assumed. How is she? She's good. She listens to the show every day. She likes it.

Isn't she far behind, though? She's catching up on the pod. She's the further ahead than I thought. Oh, got it. Oh, she's in the future? Yeah, yeah. Is she listening to ones? We haven't even done yet.

She was like, Monday show is great yesterday. She bade a test the show a day in advance. And then it gives me feedback. Oh, I love. Do you send her the run sheets? up for the guys. I don't said anyone that runs you. Yeah, you don't.

Where's the runcheek? I think your mum's my favourite person to hug. Just because she's a perfect huggerful size. She's not a hugger. Oh, well, she hugged me. See, that's what makes it special. Similarly, Ducko's not a hugger and that time we did that experiment. I got a DM from a rice cooker being like, oh, sucks to be you.

I got a hug from the duck man. I went, in the fear. That's what she told me. Yeah, I hug people I don't know like that because I'm like, hey, you know, I don't know when I hug. I got no hard and fast for all. hugging. I'm coming over there right now. I'm coming over there right now. Sometimes I put my hand out and I go for a handshake. Like, there's nothing worse when

you go for a handshake to a girl. And then she puts her arms up for a hug and you're like, uh, you like swim the arm into her. The worst is the handshake into the kiss, hello on the cheek, into the hug. No, no, no. You just got three for the price of one. That's too cheeky. That's too cheek. Hey, big show this week. Team, of course, Alphabucks is back. It went off last week. Can it happen this week? We do have a great call of fame. Tickets to the NRL grand final. Plus accommodation at the ridges in Darling Square. It's unbelievable.

That'd be fantastic. It's absolutely. Who's looking likely? Well, Panthers Broncos this weekend. Oh, is that a book a spot in the final? So it'd be one of those four. Hoolly dolly. And even if you don't go for any of them, imagine just being in the crowd.

Yeah. You just got to get involved this week. Up next, though. Shargo's debunking Fanta in a bag. You're going to try it. I've not stopped thinking about. It's going to be great. He doesn't look confident at all.

We'll unpack it. How this came about was the dumbest thing ever. Jess and Ducko. Would you say it's a fresh can of fanta? Potentially, Ducko. What, it's a bag of fanta? We love a bit of fanta on this show. On Friday, we were talking about curried sausage.

Yeah, that's where it started. The conversation took a turn, Duky. We've got some audio here. I don't know where this audio starts. Yeah, so we'll talk about curried sausages. And I asked, Ducco, when you get your curry sausages from a deli, do they slop it into a bag? Yeah, yeah. You said, no, it's in a container.

We're not animals. And then Shiger goes, oh, it's like, Fanta in a bag. What, it's a bag of phanta? And we're like, what are you talking about? What kind of example have you just offered us? He said in Thailand, yeah, that you can get soft drink in a bag. Yeah. So do you want me to play the audio here?

We've pretty much done. We've pretty much did it. Okay. You can play it anyway. Yeah. Do they slop into a bag? Or is it in a bottle? It's not in a bag.

You know, like if you were going to buy a string of sausage, is it just being a plastic bag. That's how I picture. Ladling it in and then just spinning it around. Like when you buy a phantra in Thailand. You know, you get it in a bag? When I buy a what? Like a fanta or a drink.

Do you? I've never been to Thailand. I have no idea what reference that is. You get a fanta in a bag. What are you talking about? You talk amongst yourself. How's my support there? You were straight away trying to support.

I could not abide by that. He then showed us this clip of like a, a 90s commercial in Thailand. We're like, that is old. So grainy. I don't know how we worked out with Fanta. And then tried to play the hangover audio as evidence. Yeah, yeah.

So Allen in the Hangover 2, they walk through Thailand. And to shout him up, they bought him a Fanner in a bag. So what I've got for you, Duck, I'll come around and bring it to you. A regular Fanta in a glass. Fantastic. It's warm. That's because it wasn't in the fridge. And then a Fanta in a bag.

You're going to tell me which one's better, okay? How did you go? I've done this bag. Look how pop that is. It's so Pog. You just made Babs do that. How did that is. You, that is okay.

How did you swap it in? Do you explain what he's done here? What do you mean you need to explain? It's Fanta in a bag. The Fanta in a bag normally would be like you'd walk around with this giant bag, but he's clearly worried about it, so he's put the bag in a cup. So we've got a bag of Feta in a cup. Do you know what it looks like if you were going to cut the tip of that,

like you were going to put icing on a, how come yours is flattened? Why is mine's a... I couldn't portion control very well, okay? It looks like you're going to snip it and do an icing piping on a a wedding cake. Now, this was meant to be shy. I wanted to do this in the podcast, and I was like, no, no, we're doing this on air.

I also, I also asked for a blindfold, so we weren't, we weren't impacted. And Babs bring the straw and cup to our lips. Do you want me to put my hand over your eyes? You know, budget cuts are a thing, mate? We can't afford it. I know what he said? He goes, I can't get two. We can still do that.

You can cover your eyes and swap them around. Sure. You know what I mean? Can you turn around, Jess? Yeah. Just do some magical swap it, and then you hold the vessel up to Jeff. Oh, except you've got to need another straw. I don't have the straw in one.

No, no, no, no, you're just going to tell me if it tastes better out of a bag or out of a cup, like normal. Is it funny, Doug? Because you go, how much more could we have talked about this? Why wouldn't you just put a straw in the cup one as well? That's how you make them equal. One's got the back. Anyway, just does it taste better with the bag? They taste the exact same to me.

Exactly. But, I mean, it's... God, I don't care for Fanta. Yeah, Fanta is in the... Very early. I've still got the peppermint of my toothpaste in my mouth. Yeah, me too. Fanta and toothpaste doesn't know.

So they're identical. They are absolutely identical. And you tried to tell us that the bag was better for the environment, even though it feels like more freaking plastic. That's what the Thailand authorities said. Or the authorities that you contacted. Hey, I'm glad we did this on air. It was a good circle back from Friday.

Not only is this a waste of Fanta, it's a waste of a straw, and it's a waste of the bag. I already feel safe from that one tip of Fanta. That was rank. You couldn't have put it in the fridge. That was warm Fanta. I left in my car overnight. To start our fresh week, that's... He was stressing.

We did it at 6.10. He's like, I've got to get the audio. I know. Cape of Demon Hunters at two and a half minute. Babs disappeared during the two minutes song. He's got to get the audio that we've explained ourselves. Jess and Daco. Right now, where do you stand on?

I think you'd like this. Not so much positive affirmations, but like... Well, I suppose affirmations that you write down and see. There's one thing saying it to yourself, but having it written down somewhere. Like goals and affirmations, positive words. I'm all for it. Do you do that? Do you write them down places?

Do you know what's funny? I don't handwrite them, but I've got enough little trinkets around my home. I've been gifted a lot. You know, I've got some friends in the woo-woo space. Particularly around motherhood. My girlfriends bought me a tiny little easel. I'd only be 10 centimetres high. With little placards, you can change every day.

Oh, yes. Positive affirmations about, you know, live by it. Embracing the now and not sweating the small stuff. Live for this moment for this moment is your life. I think that was on my one yesterday. Have you got the same for Liesel? Obviously, yeah, I've got a little Liesel home too.

So, yes, I'm all for it. I'm all about surrounding yourself with positivity. So the FBI director, okay? Yeah, it's a very serious position. Very serious position. He's in Congress right now. Apparently, in this Congress-specific meeting, this was just last week.

Now, it's to tackle serious issues like political violence and the release of the Epstein Files, okay? Oh, gosh, yeah, so he's front-up. He's front-up, right? When all of a sudden, I don't know, classic cameraman, see something. He has a customised notepad with his name on it. Oh, I love that.

From the desk. From the desk. Of the FBI director. He kept looking down at it as he's in the middle of Congress, right? So pretend we're in a meeting and I keep looking down on my piece of paper. Like you've brought notes in or something. But the notes only have a couple of dot points. Okay.

And the dot points are my positive affirmations. The dot points say, this guy's Cash Patels his name. It says, keep fighting the good fight, Cash. Hold the line, brush off their attacks, rise above. Do we know, Ducco? Did he write those in the moment, though, or had he brought that pad in? It's his handwriting, but he brought the pad in. He sat down.

They've started Congress, and he's kept looking down, fight the good fight. It's not even like he's got a game plan there. I was about to say, it's one thing, you should have notes for a meeting like that. I'd want to know dates, times, people involved. And fair enough, if you can't remember that off the top of your head. Yeah. But four little dot points in your chicken scrawl. Good fight.

Hold the line. How dare you? Brush off their attacks. And also, like, is he dumb? You're the FBI director. You know there's going to be cameras around. There's going to be cameras trained on you and anything around you. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And he works with spies. I feel you should know better. There's a time where if you say that enough to yourself, you can sort of remember that. Do you know what? You're right. There wasn't that many. Yeah.

Hold the line. Just keep, all basically was saying is just keep going. Would it have been better if it was written on his hand. Or just kept peering at his palm. But then he, oh, no, then you get sweaty. Yeah. And possibly sludge. It would leak everywhere.

It looks very unprofessional. It looks more unprofessional, though. you're customized notepad where you're looking down. Say someone's gone back to him, like, release the Epstein files. And he's like, hold on, fight the good fight. I shut! I shut! We won't be doing that.

Anyway, it happens at the top level, you know? Absolutely. And I think that should make us all feel more confident bringing in our positive affirmations. Whatever you do for a job. Our Tuesday meetings. Let's bring out. Shagga, I want to see your affirmations in there. I love that.

I love that. I can't read his own freaking handwriting. He'll get confused. Jess and Ducko in the morning Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bugs on here to put the bugs 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first

answer you can not use the same answer twice and if you're unsure of the question just say pass of course we come back if there's time now we are playing for $10,000 our player today is Nicole Good morning Nicole. Good morning, how are you going? Oh Nick, we're fantastic for a fresh week we've got great momentum around Alpha Bucks. Did you hear Sonia win?

I did hear that. That's awesome. It was a good time. It was a great time. She's done good work for Alfa Bucks in general. Yep, she has. And I know you're going to do just as good work, Nicole. What are you going to spend $10,000 on?

So I'm renovating my bathroom and taking my son to Queensland's the plan. Oh, I love that. Bathroom and up north. Very good. Yes. Happy days. Happy days. I can't think of one bathroom item that starts with the letter C, Ducco.

A cushioning for your toilet seat. Oh, we always need that. We love cushioning. Nicole, you're going to work with C, okay? Okay, let's see how I go. Very good. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter C, we need you to name a dairy product.

Chocolate. Something in your handbag. A chain. A clothing brand. Oh. Pass. A four. A four-letter word.

Cote? A video game. Pass. A periodic element. Oh, God, pass. An insect? Caterpillar. A girl's name.

Caitlin. A school subject. Catculus. A rom-com. Oh, pass. A clothing brand. Right out of time. Got through all of them, though, which is always, you know,

it's always a feat of its own. That's something to be proud of. It's so much hard. Actually, you're doing it yourself, not just in the car, playing along. Yeah, with no pressure in the car. They're like, I'm so much smarter than that person playing. And then you do it. I've done that before.

It happens. Look, you got yourself six, which is, you know, it's overpass, 60%. That's okay. I've just finished a night shift, so I've done better than I thought. Oh, absolutely. You've done very well then. Some learnings. A clothing brand could have been Calvin Klein, a video game, Caller Duty or Crash Bandicoot

for the old school, a periodic element, carbon. Oh, that's the biggie. The bigie. And then a rom-com, crazy rich Asians or crazy stupid love. Look, you don't get the cashola, you're not going at Queensland, you're not getting new bar but you are getting $100 to spend at crocs. Oh, cool. That's awesome. They're very comfy.

So there you go. No cushioning for your toilet seat, but cushioning for your tutsons. Hey, my son needs some new crops anyway, so perfect. Oh, bang. And we'll give you a Jess and Ducker jiz bit to go with it. I love that. Thank you. Your generosity knows no bounds.

Love it. I'm just a man of the people. You enjoy that, Nicole. Thank you so much. Have a good morning. Oh, you too. We do play again. Eight o'clock.

Oh, God damn it. It's up next, isn't it? Can you pad for just 60 seconds? Yeah. 60. Okay. Up next, we've got Jess's conspiracy corner, which she has now run out of the room to get a prop for.

We are giving her this conspiracy time because it started as a joke, and now it's looking like a two weeks. Oh, God. She's got a tin hat on. I got my tip. She's got a foil hat on. I don't know what you were running out to get. Where did you build that?

This morning. But I want. I wanted to make... No wonder your daughter woke up. You're rattling around. I was asking me, how's Lutea is sleeping? I was like, thanks for asking you. It's not been great because I've been making 10.4-1.

That's next. Jess and Ducco. You know what they're keeping from us, the history books? Giants. Are we just doing anything now? Jess's conspiracy corner. Yeah, we've been giving her one spot of Fortnite to... We've just found out she likes conspiracy theories.

I can't believe it. It'd never come up in our friendship. No. Obviously, I am only now feeling safe to share this side of me with you, Ducco. You look safe for both of you and your tinfoil hats. Chalk has on him on, so he's going to get done by the aliens. That's fine. She's made us wear tinfoil hats.

I just saw myself, I'm going to put a video up on Jess and Ducco after this chat. I saw myself. I look like a complete moron. I don't think I've never looked dumber. You've never looked smarter because you're not going to get brainwashed by the aliens. Okay, what do we got? Okay, I wanted to bring you. After, is it affecting your hearing?

Yeah, absolutely. I can't hear it. I can't hear myself. I can't hear myself think. Yeah, yeah. It's very off-putting. So I wanted to bring you a conspiracy theory that not one, but two rice cookers sent me. After the giant expose we did a fortnight ago, I...

You have to say we. I'm calling it an expose. You didn't just say you did that. I have found my people. And two separate cooks. bookers sent me a conspiracy theory on Rubik's cubes, Ducko. Now, I did my own research because I'm not a sheep. Yes.

I did my own research. Yes. And I love the Rubik's Cube theory. The Rubik's Cube theory is, you know, when you see these speed cubing competitions and it's usually kids, the record is currently held by a seven-year-old Chinese kid. He did one in 3.05 seconds. Crazy. Solved it that fast.

The conspiracy theory is that soon will be able to solve Rubik's cubes in next. negative time and use them for time travel. Jesus. These are your people, Jeff. Thank God you've got your hat on. I'm so glad I've got this hat. That's blocking my hearing. We'll be able to use them for time travel.

But Rubik's Cube makers, Mattel, they're already doing that, bringing them back from the past, selling them for 100% profit. Okay. A couple of holes in that one. I'm not bringing you the Rubik's Cube conspiracy. Oh, sorry. Okay. So what are we doing?

Three quick. Yes. celebrity-based conspiracy theories. Number one, obviously Trump, I mean, he's always in the news, but I think you've heard this one. The conspiracy theory is that Melania, his wife, divorced him back in 2017, which was his first year of winning the presidency.

And that obviously would have been a very bad look. So since then, supporters of the conspiracy think that she's a body double, the woman who's been walking around next to him. That's why she wears all those low hats. You know, you can't really see her face. It's all mysterious. I absolutely believe that. I reckon Melania chuffed off ages ago.

Yeah, could have. The second celebrity conspiracy. Here we go. Avril Levine. Hated the spotlight so much after the success of her first album. That was the skater boy album. Yeah? She hated the spotlight.

She regretted it. Yeah. So she hired a body double named Melissa. Yeah. To basically do all her public work. Unfortunately, the real Averill died. But the record label went, we want to keep making money.

So we're going to keep this woman, Melissa, doing all of Averill stuff. In fact, Melissa is the one who recorded the subsequent album. She had more albums? I've got two songs for you to compare, Ducco. This is from Averill's first album, Complicated. Great song.

Real Averill. Yeah. Sorry, it's hard to hear my tin foil hat over my ears, but I'm getting the vibe. This is from the second album that supporters of the conspiracy think is Melissa. Oh, yes.

This is called My Happy Ending. You can hear it's slightly different. And if you look at... Can you? And if you look at pictures of then and now... Sorry, I'm just going to fade them back up. This is first Averill. And this is fake Averill.

Melissa. That's different, man. How do you explain, how do you explain Babs, Moles in different places? Oh. How do you explain moles in different places? So what's the, they're saying Averill died and fake Averill. She originally got this stunt double, body double to do public work because she hated the spotlight. But unfortunately during that time she passed away and the record label went,

we could probably just keep making money off of Averill's name because we've got this body double who can sing and looks exactly like her. But the mole. man, she's got different moles. I mean, people get moles over time, though. If they're, you know, new moles. Yeah, but some have disappeared. Maybe she had surgery. Remember?

There's no scars. Anyway, one more quick one. Yeah, what do you go? A US congressional. You tell me, I'm on the fence. I could go either way. We're on the fence, aren't we? A US congressional candidate.

I'm on the fence for about five minutes. Some old bloke. K.W. Miller. Yeah, yeah. He's got a theory about Beyonce. Oh, yes. I like this one. That she is not.

actually African-American. She's faking this for exposure. Her real name is Anne-Marie Lestrace, and she's Italian. You will say anything to bring her on your day. Mate, mate, mate. I would love Beyonce to be one of my kin. He went on to say she doesn't... She happens to me.

She looks so Italian, Beyonce. K.W. Miller, she can just see it oozing out of her. K.W. Miller went on to say, she doesn't even carry hot sauce in her bag as she claims. So people have sent you these, yeah? Like, these ones I did my own recent. The Rubik's cute people sent me. Okay.

There you go. What do you think? Do you reckon she could be Italian? No. Not at all. You don't deserve that tinful hat. Take that hat off. I'm happy.

Jess and Ducko. Right now, does anyone on the team to like some peaking duck? Oh my God. Can you put it in a pancake with some hoist in? Obviously. And you can have your bag of fanta with it too. Great.

We had that earlier, you know? The reason is we're ducking to China. Fantastic. I've always wanted to see the Great Wall. So it's good to be here with the team. Chaga always is coming straight away dressed up. I know. And I don't know whether it's, you know.

He flirts with the cultural appropriation. He just does. Babs dress me, so. Oh, okay. If he goes now, she has to go down with him. That's right. Absolutely. That works.

Right, right, Babs? Right, Babs? No. Oh, really? Oh, geez. You left you on that ledge. She has a life outside of you. It would appear you do not have a life outside of her.

She went clubbing on the weekend, Babsie. Oh, she debriefed me in the elevator. I know about it. Okay. Bragg about it, I think. What time are you out till? 2.30. Oh.

Is there any part of you, Babs, that ever goes, I'm going to invite Shah Guy. Maybe he'd like to come along. No. I'd say no, anyway. Oh, would you invite any of us, Babs? Like, hey, I'm just going to bring some friends and we rock up. I mean, I felt old in the club, so.

What are you saying? If we go along, she'll feel young again. Look at my old friends. It's Jess and Ducko. Sorry, can we get the ramp rolled out because they'll need extra support. It comes Grandma. Lipping around. It's too dark in here.

Do you guys have any nice red? Oh, you don't? Just, okay, a vodka sunrise, please. I don't mind vodka sunrise. How good are they? They're very good. Anyway, enough of that, because we're in China. For a reason which is cooked to do with their sewage system.

I know. You've been knee-deep in our sewage system here in a I have been, yeah, yeah, I've been to the, poking fatbergs. I don't, I have played with a real-life fatberg. That was a career highlight. That was one of those, how'd you end up here moments? But you know what, at the same time, it fit? Like, I was like, no, this suits me.

And we've only got a population of like 27 million. In China, the fatbergs you're getting with a population of a billion. Well, this is the issue, right? People are, like, I'm probably guilty of this, taking too much toilet paper for what you actually need, right? So because China is so popular, and there's some people who live there, using too much toilet paper. Absolutely.

The government's come up with a new way on public toilets to police the toilet paper. So what they do now is if you go to a public toilet in China and you back on out or do a way, whatever it may be, you want to use some toilet paper. You need to scan your phone on the QR code present next to the toilet. It will then make you watch a 20-second ad. So people pay for sponsorship and ads in the toilet. Oh, so not necessarily toilet-related or instructional. It's any ad.

It could be an ad for Google. It could be anything. And make you watch that ad And then after watching that ad It releases three bits of toilet paper You only get three And then after that You have to scan again

Watch another ad to get three more bits So it's not costing you money But it's costing you in time And we all know Being able to skip an ad Is one of the great joys Of being a human being And the unskippable ones are the worst

Could you imagine sitting there being like I've got to wait for this ad to finish Before I could wipe? I've done two this morning already, Duckow Two. Two poos. You've done two? Yeah, one at the gym It's 6.50. I don't know what. I don't know. I didn't even eat dinner last night. We had a late lunch.

I don't think I've ever had a two day. A double two day. Even two in like two hours. I did a two before, two before six a.m. Wild. Can you imagine if I was in this position? My whole existence is now watching ads. Jesus. Just taking me. It's like it goes in and comes straight out. And it's before I'd had my coffee. It's not like I'd had any die already. Yeah. God. Could you imagine being in China for you? All my life would be sitting there watching their ads. All right, I get it. Meta Musil's on special. Give me the freaking Lou paper.

And I'll tell you why, I need more than three squares. Genius marketing, though, to get your ads in the tour where you have to watch it, you can't skip it, and you'd be staring at it because you'd be waiting for your tool paper to come out. Yes. And my issue is, and I know they're pretty tech savvy over in China, but what happens when the Lou Roll runs out? And you're the guy who scans the QR code.

Yeah, and nothing's coming out. Hang on a minute, nothing's coming out. Oh, that'll definitely happen. Who's replenishing? You're like, I just sat through an ad for, you know, Colgate for no reason. Why don't I watch that? And I've still got a pooey bum. Give me the toilet paper.

That would be. So anyway... Because you know what scares me? Yeah, it starts in public toilet stuff. But how soon before it's in our homes. All of a sudden we're doing ads. You can get ads in your house. This is real black mirror stuff.

This is some nanny state stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. No. And I feel like with this... Not that anyone would be watching, but a QR code in a toilet just feels like this camera is. It's getting down that.

It's getting down that path, isn't it? You're right. You know what I mean? I thought we meant to be putting our phone. away on the Toot because we're sending too much time scrolling and it's affecting our bums. Yeah.

Now we have to get the phones out just to freaking get the toilet paper. I know. It's a lose, lose. It's a lose, lose. I don't know if we're visiting China any time soon. I'll certainly can't. I'll have to bring my own.

You all pump through the Chinese toilets. I've seen this ad already. Jess and Ducko. Rihanna, only girl. Hip Wittressed with Jess and Duckwoodie, 7.02. Welcome to Monday. I accidentally slipped in an extra song now, so you got to hear Rihanna.

Hey, man. You slipped in Red, No one's going to be mad at that. I went to go to ads, but Rihanna wanted to play. So I said, girl, I'm going to put you on. You've already had three emails from our boss. Yeah, yeah. And I would direct his issues to R-Re herself.

Yeah, yeah. You're going to tell R-Rei no. I want to give people an extra show. Now we're running a touch late. My problem, no problem. That's what I mean? It's my problem. No problems.

Booktop bops is coming up after seven. Do you want the tin fall back on? I do. He won't be a cookie show thus far. We've had Jess's conspiracies. We've had Fanta in a bag. It's a fanned her in a bag. And Babbs came in to all she got hit on because her hair was good.

I mean, what is happening? The world is top. She said two dudes came into her on the weekend when she was out at a nightclub until two ever said her's good hair. I know you said we're already late. But can we just unpack for a second? Okay. Are they boys who are so switched on to the female experience that they know? I don't know.

Don't compliment obviously on her boobies on her bum, which are stereotypically male things that they like. Well, you're not going to say, you have nice boobies. But that's the thing I think a stupid. boy might think, oh, yeah, I'll compliment you're on a boobies. Oh, you reckon, yeah. Do you reckon these boys have gone, what's important for women? Hair. It's a weird.

It's a rogue thing for some guys to say. Like, I would, you know, it's an odd thing to do. It's made her night. Yeah. She's talking about it 48 hours on. I mean, like, yeah, usually I'd, I was like, go away, but thank you. Yeah. And you were glowing up that.

It was in front of your boyfriend as well, which is even better. Oh, I know. Still got it. That's, that's a great indictment. But also, like, they were clearly lying. Hey, yeah. They must be rice cookers And they know you have a problem with the hair

No, it's because her hair Freakened slap that night Since you've been on that serum You've been flying You guys suck Jess and Ducko Right now Ducko I don't think any story

One has moved faster Than this one I'm about to share with you But also I think perfectly Perfectly captures That whole baby brain New parent brain

that a lot of people can relate to, I imagine. The fog. The fog that you live in when you've got two little or one little dictator living under your roof. A woman named Emma, she's a mum, she lives in Adelaide, went viral late last week. And again, look how quick this turnaround is. She took to her Instagram. I actually saw it because her cousin-in-law is quite a famous, like, Instagram comedian. So I've seen it on.

Here's, I went on to her page. People are sharing it. Right. The ripple effect of the internet. internet is amazing, but she took to Instagram to talk about this moment she had at her local salvos. Instead of me recounting it, here is Emma, this mum from Adelaide, talking about what happened when she tried to just do a good thing and drop off some donations at her local

salvos. Hey guys, this is an absolute long shot, but it's Adelaide and everyone knows everyone. If you or somebody you know on Brighton Road salvos yesterday morning and you scored an absolute bargain of a pram, um, yeah, that's. That's actually my brand that I accidentally left there. And then they thought was stock, so they sold it for 12 bucks. I know it's unlikely, but all things are possible. If someone's going, I got this awesome pram from the Salvos, yeah, it's mine.

Sorry. You can't really hear the South Australian accent, can you? You can. It's so funny. It's like dialect. You would put in Europe sort of context. We've absolutely got it here. But she goes on to say she's been interviewed now by the Today Show, Kids Spot, a bunch of online blogs.

She had two kids with her. So she pulls out the travel pram that usually just lives in her boot, trying to wrangle the one-year-old into the pram. But out of Salvos, they've got the whole toy section. So they both, you know, beeline for it. She's dumped the donation. She's just trying to get them back out of the shop, gets them in the car and goes,

let's just get out of here. Completely forgetting that her $700 travel pram is sitting there. She gets home, goes, oh, my God. My pram. My pram. Salvos have just already, yeah, put a ticket on that. Within exactly hours, put a sold sticker on it, or put a sale, for sale, for $12.

Bargain? The workers are like, we're so sorry, we just saw it here unlabeled. We thought, oh, it's for sale, but there's just no price on it. Who comes up with the price, though? Who looks like that and goes, eh, it looks like you can be $12? I know. I'm surely I think you'd go for $30. And that's the thing, I'm not expecting Salvo's workers to know it was $700.

Perhaps are expensive. Anything baby's expensive. Here's the thing, every time we take stuff to Salvos, they do great work. Because we want to start listening that. Every time we take stuff to sell this, whether it be books or clothes, like, no, we don't want it. No, we are too full. No, just don't.

No more. Well, clearly with maybe baby items or something that looked as brand schmick as her pram, they went, well, this is fantastic. Yeah, yeah, I'll take that. Absolutely probably could have gone for a couple of hundred. But Emma took to her Instagram because she went, it's Adelaide. Yeah. If you got my pram for $12, she basically was saying, can I have a back?

I'll reimburse you. I'll reimburse you. Oh, you're 12. So how's this? brands start coming to Emma going, I'll give you the, I'll give you a new pram. Like whoever snapped it up, clearly needed it. Bugaboo

commented on her post being like, don't worry, Emma, we'll give you a new one until she gets the DM. Hi Emma, I think it was me. I did buy a pram yesterday at the Brighton Road Salvos. I actually got it for $10. It wasn't even 12. Even though it was stickered for 12.

She must have paid cash. Emma has turned around and gone, well, don't worry, you can keep my pram I've been gifted a new brand. And a whole bunch of brands, including from the memo, including Bugaboo, solid starts. I think that's like food or formula. They're now gifting Emma stuff and the mum who bought it so she's not out of pocket without anything. I might pop down to our local salvos today and take my pram and just leave it there.

Mate, give it a go. You'll go viral. As long as the Today Show picks it up, you'll be fine. Jess and Ducko. For you, you know you've got to pick the melody So you could score a point or two Book top box We babies in studio

Yay! Standing a little taller, looking a little fresher this weekend Offer a big weekend of compliments Yeah, she got hit on in a bar twice By people saying she had good hair In front of her boyfriend These fellas were so compelled to compliment Hit on our babs The cup lines have changed since my days

What was your go-to, mine, Ducko? Wasn't her about it? What was it? Yeah, what was the old go-to line? A song of a star falling from heaven. Oh, God, good. Heaven must be missing an angel. Well, we've got our very own. Babs.

She's pulled a book off her bookshelf. They're usually very raunchy. She's going to sing a passage from said book in the melody of a song. We have to identify it. Ducco. Unbeaten in this game. Pretty good at this game, weirdly. Very good.

Shug-guy. Jess is getting better, too. Only when you do freaking Abba. And they feel cheaper. It's all right. Okay, here we go. First song. All right.

Where is your family? No response. Not that I'd really expect a one. He lowers his head to take what I'm doing. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just need it a little bit more. Damn. Good, yeah, shy, Lord.

He's back. Here he goes. He's fired up today. He's had fanor and a bag. The big boy's ready to go. When you start, the guy doesn't drink coffee. So he's realized, Fanta to start my day. bag.

Yeah. All right. Second song. Don't. No, we wouldn't recommend. All right, second song. Yep. Alone as well I looked at him.

And know that I'm assuming that is not by choice. And for that I apologize. He paused as I spoke lifting that massive head. She keeps trying to reach out. I know she cares for me. They all do. But I told them to On a naked

Da-da-na-na-na What is that? Emergencies, but they're all known Because they are The hands are best and the best They are What is that? Instead, they send messages

in cry Nah-na-na-na-na-na-na-ha-da-da-da-da. God damn it, this is killing me. You play this every day. Oh, uh... Is it a brainer. No. You have a bad. Golden Hunt tricks.

No. What do we play every day? I don't know. I'm trying to think what else we play every day. So, guys, you got anything? Olivia and Dean, nice to each other. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. Did you? Just go through them. I just went to the lawn. I'm on the man I need train. Damn it. Oh, man.

You guys got, you kind of got it. We were flirting with Jess. We got the thread of it. They were healing me. That's a newie. Yeah. Oh. Okay.

Very good. Next one. Here we go. He looked from me to my. Oh. Oh. Oh, welcome to the Black Parade. Oh, that was quick.

Damn it. Okay. Jess, I know you like that song. I do. So I put it in there. Not a fan for me. Oh. That's one of the great scream-o pump.

Yeah, yeah. Slow build. Yeah. All right, bad. All right. Last one. That was, did you give Shagai a point? If Shai guy...

No, Ducco got that one. No, Shagga got that one. I got one. Sorry. You got the previous one. Sorry. I'm on one. He's on two.

I am on Zah guy. He is. But this next one's going to get this one. But this next one's worth three. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Here we go. Ready?

Yeah. He looked from me to... Complicated. Oh, oh. Oh, God. I'm going to say it. Oh, my guy. I just came in the little.

The Shy Lord has taken out. Is it a job? Is it Apple? Or is it Melissa Vanella? This one's Avril. Jess and Duckow. Jess and Ducko. It's going to be a good time because our Cool of Fame Prize this week.

You get involved. Any chance. during the show, you can win tickets to the NRL grand final plus accommodation at Ridges Darling Square in Sydney. Oh my God, that's unbelievable. You give us your two cents? Yep. You could be off.

Give us your two, Bob. You're right. Off to see the grand final. It'd be so good. Oh my God. The atmosphere. You've been to a grand final. You nearly had a heart attack.

Broke my heart there. It was the best night of my life until four minutes ago when Nathan Cleary made it the worst night of my life. This is coming from someone who's not particularly into sport. Would it be better to go if your team wasn't playing? Would the pressure? It would be less stressful. Yes, would it make it a more enjoyable experience?

Going and watching your team play, if they were to win, greatest night of your life. It feels like the stakes are too high. It's a very high state, yeah. It's an anxiety-fueled evening, and the game kicks off, annoys me the NRL. They do their games at night. Like, the grandfinal should be the afternoon,

because it kicks off at 8pm. Because you're right, if you win, or even if you lose, you need some time to commiserate or celebrate, but you're getting out of there, what, 11? And I'd have early settlers at about midday, so by the time the game's on, it's been eight hours on the source. Lucky we're giving you accommodation.

Did I see the game? game, hopefully. Now I don't know if I'm remembering. Was I there? Was I even there? Might have been a hallucination. Yeah. But yeah, lucky accommodations included.

Absolutely. So however it goes, you've got somewhere to rest your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Teddy Swims is doing the pre-show entertainment. That's right. Mr. Swims, yeah, it'd be good. We love a bit of Teddy. I wonder if you change his name for the final.

Yeah. Here we go. Teddy throws the ball. Oh, my God. Teddy scores. Oh, God. Oh, damn. Teddy throws the ball.

Some great teamwork from you, Ducco. I should have just paused and you could have gotten in there. Teddy scores. I'll tweet him. I reckon that's better. I should rebrand just for the game. Remember Snoop Doggy Dogg's doing the AFL grand final. That's this Saturday.

What should we change his name to? Instead of Snoop Dogg, it should be... Here we go. Now we've got another good one, guys. Hold on, here we go. Kick a goal dog. That's important in AFL. My brother's played his whole life.

I know the code. Anyway, actually, speaking of my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a hell of a text from my parents last night, Ducko. They're overseas right now. They're living their best in your motherland. Yeah, yeah, in the France. They're not going to Italy this trip.

They're only in France. What my dad did. Yeah, yeah. That caused an evacuation. Oh, brilliant. Remember that time I flood a hotel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad's taking it to a whole new level.

Jess and Ducko. Where the systems don't seem to be firing on all silver. is on my parents' European vacation. We crossed to them in Lyon. Because your mum was wearing a red beret last time. She called me from Dijon. And she was wearing a red beret. I went, Ma, where'd you get that?

She goes, I picked it up here. I think that's cultural appropriation. She goes, no, they love it. Lean in. I get complimented everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Sure you don't. Your high school French translating that for you?

Yeah. They're having a great time. Yeah. Doing a lot of cultural experiences. Good. But they're in the, I think it's a south of France, Leon. and they're having a great time. They're not huge on social media,

and they've actually been a bit quiet on the family group chat, and they'll do a big dump every couple of days, but otherwise we don't hear from them. I text my parents yesterday afternoon. I've been doing that, I think I told you about it, the Storyworth book where they get sent an email once a week with a prompt, a question, and because after a year I want to compile all the questions

and have a really nice keepsake. My dad is falling far behind. So I text my parents. I said, carve out some freaking time on this holiday. There's a lot of downtime, I imagine, fill in your bloody questionnaire, would you? Yeah, do it. My dad sends me a text back. Probably won't have time because I accidentally set the alarm off in the hotel.

We all had to evacuate. Oh, no. He set the fire alarm off. He set the fire alarm off. Now, when you're in a building, apartment hotel, one goes off. It all goes off because you can't be having a fire on level four and not evacuate. everyone. Did he light a bunch of candles for the central evening he planned with your mother again? Am I close? Is that actually what happened? What happened?

Do you know what he did? Shut up. I... Shut up. No way. Did they say what happened? I text back. What do you mean? He sent a bunch of pictures of the crowds of people. Looks like the depth of the night. Oh, there's nothing worse. Milling around the front of the hotel. I said, Dad, tell me what happened. My mum writes back. Here we go. You have hit the day. on the head, my friend. They were having a bit of a extirpade.

Dad got, well, dad tried to get all romantic lit a scented candle in our hotel room. He bloody set off the fire alarm we've all had to evacuate. Oh no, no, no, that's so good. I said this is unbelievable.

He was just trying to get down a jiggy with it. My mum said, no, I'm so embarrassed. Oh, that's so funny. No, this whole trip has been a bit too easy. for you guys, because they do all-inclusive. They have a travel agent plan every inch of their day. I said, you needed to be challenged. That's how you get soft without challenge.

They keep going on. No, we're so embarrassed. My dad, trying to be funny. We'll be releasing statements in due course. I went, Dad, do you need a PR crisis manager? I have the Fanchionni's brought the name into disrepute. And it costs money, doesn't it? My mom said, we need the bail money.

We can't afford no crisis PR. Yeah. We need the bail money because now we're in trouble. Can we drill down on, though? They're in French. You're probably in her beret, in lingerie. Your dad's set the candles. In the barret and nothing else.

Yeah, your dad set the candles up. He's got the oil. Where did they get a scented candle? One question, did they pack it? Or two, did they buy it there? I think he's packed it. He's gone, I think this month is the time. When we're in France, I'm going to get some.

I'm going to pack it. A scented candle. Oh, that's funny. There's no way you're lighting that and having that night without having sexy time. Your parents were trying to have a sexy time, and they evacuated an entire hotel. An entire hotel. Let me show you the picture of everyone milling it. Look, it's night time.

People are in rows. What happened? Who did this? And you know, you can ping it to the room because obviously it's localised where it's stemmed from before it's. He didn't tell me if the sprinklers, you know, some hotels have automatic sprinklers. Yeah, the sprinkler system comes on. Because if they've deemed, oh, fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A freaking, I thought people knew. He'd be so embarrassed. He's mortified. He actually said, this is to go nowhere. I went, I can't. We have to tell everyone. There's no way I can't tell everyone. The good people need to know.

That is unbelievable. I said, make sure you write this in the questionnaire. I'm going to send you a new prompt. What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened on holiday? And your dad's probably just, like, Googled, like, how to spice it up. And he's like, oh, light some candles. Your mum's like, what are you doing? It's all about ambiance.

He's tried. And this is how he's rewarded in the south of France. I wanted to, I thought we could throw it out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want to do? Did you cause the evacuation? Yeah. Or what happened when your parents tried to get jigggy with?

13, 10, 60. We've got. Did you try it? the way. Yeah, yeah. Did you try and do something and do you try and be romantic and something went wrong?

Yeah, did you try to, I like that. Yeah. What went wrong when you tried to get all romantic? You tried something. My dad, we've discussed this. I think he'd be the lazier of the two of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And for once.

He's, you know, pulled his finger out and tried to do something from my mum. He's on the candles on the chocolate sauce and bang. Whole thing's been evacuated. Evacuated. In France, too. They don't take that stuff lightly. They'd be so annoyed.

Oh, look, they're staying at the regional place. antique France. Just a little hotel, I assume, Batif. Look at these two, like, consoling each other. They're so distressed. People think it's like a real issue. There's an attack going on. No, just Dad's trying to...

Oh, Dad. Just trying to pleasure mother. And, like, what did he do? Did he blow the candle out before he ran away? Or is the candle still burning? Why, he's running out in a bath tower and nothing else underneath? Like, ah! My dad doesn't run.

He's had to put his new balance on. He waddled out. So he doesn't drink. He waddled out. Anyway, great, dear. His baguette still out. Hey, 13.1060. Oh, that's where he needs my mum's berate.

For his modesty. What are you two up to? But I like that. Let's see. Let's see. Let's try. Be honest. Come on it.

Or you can text the, uh, the text line. That's nice. If you're a bit embarrassed, like my dad's mortified. 04-8-1069. What happened? What went wrong? Yeah. When you tried to get romantic.

Key on there. Jess and Duccoe. Jess's parents in France tried to get jiggie with it. Your dad, Role. Well, I mean, there's a question mark over that. Well, my. My mom just said dad was trying to be romantic. Oh, yeah.

One night in Leone. In the south of France, he's lit a scented candle. Just one, too. Just one. And I picture one of those tiny ones. Beggs the question, had he packed it? Yeah, I want to know that. Or did they buy it from a souvenir shop?

Do he just buy it to sneak it in? Where do you get matches? Yeah, yeah. You don't have matches in a hotel room. I don't believe. He'd have to bought a lighter from somewhere. He's going old school. And my dad doesn't smoke, doesn't drink.

I don't know if he'd know how to use. He clearly doesn't use a candle because he's done it in a hotel room and set off the fireies to come and evacuate the entire place. The entire place and the photo he sent of the hordes of people milling about looks like the depths of the night. It does, doesn't it? I guess you're not light the scented candle for jiggy time. No. You know, 10-8. Well, maybe you are.

Who's to say? What happens in France stays in France? Yeah. Until you tell your daughter who's on the radio and she tells everyone. Yeah. So we wanted to do what went wrong when you tried to get jiggy. Yeah, get down. What went wrong when you were just trying to be a bit romantic?

Someone texted stucco. The start of a session, but naked, and a huge photo frame fell off my wall above the bed and smashed me straight in the nose, had to be rushed to hospital, have stitches put in it, and glued back together. No. Goes without saying instant mood killer.

Yeah. I do worry about things that hang over beds. Same, you know? Same. My husband is a big fan of the. sticky 3M hooks. I'm like, no, not above the bed. That is my biggest fear.

You'll be sleeping. Yeah. And something will come down on you. All of a sudden, your yak painting is coming on you. My $14 came out. Yeah, yeah. I knew I shouldn't have got that one. Has sent me to the emergency room and rendered the session, you know, incomplete.

Can we either, A, get an update from your dad via voice note to play on there tomorrow? Or B, get him, call him to get him on the show. I love that. Maybe it's an update. Yeah, bonjour. Here's what happened. Did he buy the candle? Did he bring it?

We've got too many questions. Did he pay for the fire as to come? Do you want to hear from dad or do you want to hear from mum? I want to hear from the horse's mouth. You want to hear from dad. I want to hear from Mr. Romance himself. Yeah, Mr. Baguette himself, you know? And what was he wearing?

Miss your baguette. Oh, I love that. I want to hear all the good things. All the juicy details. He was riding around the hotel room on a bike with the baguette in the basket, trying to light a candle. There's so much going on. It was a lot of.

Yes and ducco's 10K alpha bucks on hit. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're on true of the question, just say pass. We come back if there's time. They're the rules of engagement. We are playing for $10,000.

Our player today is Norel. Hello, Norel. Hello, how are you both? Norel. Good. It's a fresh week. Mm-hmm. And we would love to give you.

$10,000 last week. Sonia took $10,000 off our hand. She's gone to the pyramids. What do you want to do with the money? Well, I'd like to have a boob lift. Oh. I'd like to have what? Boob lift.

A boob lift. Yes. Yes, Norel. We've had a couple of ladies want to spend the money on this. We have failed to ever have our mark on someone's fresh rack. Yeah, we have. I'd love it to be in Norels. And Jess and Ducker need to be the show, Nolan.

Hello. Jess on the left, Ducker on the right. Or the other way, because you are a lefty. Yeah, I'll be lefty. Norel. You know what your letter is? No, I don't. Yes.

Guess what your letter is? Oh, geez, you can't write this. Beep for booblets. Be for boobies. Oh, my God. Yes, it is. This is serendipitous. The synergy, Norelle.

Oh, come on. All right. Wow, come on. Are you got me perked up. Amen. And soon to be similar to Norel's boobies. Yeah. Norell, I'm not loving your phone.

It just feels very crackly. Your speaker? I am. Hang on second. It's imperative. If we miss something, that's a boob job that might go wanting. Is that better?

There we go. There we go. Here we go. Now we're rolling. Let's go, Norel. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter B, you need you to name. A fruit.

Banana. A phone app. A verb A type of cheese A type of cheese Burling An animal Bird

A shoe brand A Birkenstock An Australian Prime Minister Um A barton A country A country Um

No boobies Oh, no boobies Anything to do with beblitz Oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah Things you get lifted Boo Boob! My beetle!

Things Ducco likes the honk! Oh, that's true Let's make that a question You see what people say I don't know Write that down the next B quiz Oh look We don't get it unfortunately to Rell

You got four We did get through eight though Some of you passed on a phone app Could have been Bumble or Binge, build or break an Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke is who we're after there creative Barton

I mean we'd have to take first name video game sorry country could have been Brazil didn't get there look you don't go away empty-handed though Norelle you don't get $100 to spend with crocs Oh fantastic

Thank you And we're going to give you a Jess and Ducko Giz bit Noreal Yes Yeah we're going to give you that You can put that on your crock Fantastic. Thank you so very much. Your boobos are looking down at your crocs. Like, well, how come they got an upgrade?

Where's mine? Exactly. Oh, well. Good luck, Norel. Good luck not tripping over your boobies or whatever issue you were going to address. Do play again tomorrow, 630 and 8. I'm really disappointed. I know, that'd have been a good one.

They're a really good one to you, right? I really want to pay for someone's boob time. I know. It will happen. One day, it will happen. One day. Up next, though, caught up with one of our friends on the weekend who is single and she was telling us about the dating life. Oh, God, I always love to hear stories from the other side.

She had two separate dates that went well, but there were two reasons why those dates didn't work out. Okay. I've got to unpack you through. And we'll ask, why weren't they the one? It is so stupid. And we got those in our railground final tickets up for grabs. Yes, we do. We'll unpack it after Olivia Dean.

It's Jess and Ducko. Give us cool right now. Why weren't they the one? Now, this is a bit of fun. I don't want serious excuses. You don't want to find, you don't tell us about his criminal history. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smaller.

It's always like, um, like the ick vibes. Oh, I love tiny icks. Yeah, little icks. I love tiny icks. Why they had the, why weren't they the one? So we caught up with our friend Anna on the weekend. She was in town. She's, uh, she's my resident.

Well, I've got two resident single friends. They've got similar names. But it's all, I always love talking to them about the dating scene because you haven't been in it. Varland. Over a decade. I'm in it since before, like, Morgan and I'm in it since before. Like, Morgan I started dating before the apps were around.

Oh, my God, 100%. So I have no idea. But she said that she's been on a lot of dates. Like she's living in Sydney, living her best life, going on a lot of dates, right? One of these dates she went on, she said it was going really well. The guy was really attractive. They were getting along really well. She's at that stage now, right, mind you where she's not looking for someone for a fling.

She's looking for someone for her person. All right. She's looking for a commitment. And so she's getting really picky. And she goes, everything was going really well. And then he told me that. his mum likes to have a rum and coke every night on the couch while watching TV. And I went, no husband of mine's mum will drink rum and coke.

Hang on a minute. It's not even... He's drinking the rum and coke. His mum. Does he live with the mum? I don't think so. So what's it got to do with anything? Maybe they were getting drinks at the bar and it came up in conversation.

And he said, oh, mum likes a rum and coke every night. And she just went, no, that'll be enough for me. And from that, pulled the ejector cord on the date and was not interested. I didn't realize we were judging people based on their parents' habits as well. I think she's just getting so picky. Another date she went on and said it was going really well. This guy was in finance, right? They're going really well.

Six foot four. Exactly. Finance. Loves the song. Yep. I think that's how it goes. Shut up, that guy. It's not like five foot three.

It's definitely not six foot. Anyway, she's with this guy. They're at a pub. He orders a parmi. Parmi already comes with sauce and cheese, okay? Yes, of course. That's my old's made. Otherwise, it's a shittsle.

He then gets gravy on top of the parmi. And she's like, that's weird. And then he blew up apparently about having to pay the dollar for the gravy. And she's like, nah, I don't think I can be with someone who puts gravy on their parvy. To be fair, I too would I get the ick if I win it. Bad behavior. You know, I'm a sauce fiend. But you have now got conflicting sauce.

That one? That's a bit busy, isn't it? Valid. Okay, you'll allow that one. That one. I'm allowing that one. That is no husband of mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's embarrassing. She has to sit next to this guy. Watch him dribble and gravy. But potentially the rest of her life. Yeah. But the mum and the rum. Having a rum and coke. It's one thing like to judge them if their parents are downright evil people.

Yeah, yeah. But even then, that doesn't mean that person is evil themselves. Just the way she pulled the ejector court on the date just made it so funny. Like, no, no, as soon as I found out that his mom has a rum and coke every night, I was just like, this can't. You're not the one for me. That is incredible. Tiny ick.

Tiny ick. And this is the danger. Like, she is looking for a commitment. Usually standards start lowering. But hers are actually. Getting higher and high. I know. We're like, beggars can't be choosers here.

Like, the perfect person does not exist. We must accept our, our lovers for their flaws as much of their. You and me are pretty, you know, we're pretty perfect. Angus and Morgan hit the freaking jackpull. Obviously. I mean, I don't put gravy on my palmer. I am perfect. 13, 1060.

Why weren't they the worst? one. Why weren't they the one? Tiny icks. You get the vibe. Tiny icks. What are they doing? threw you off it. We'll get you in a support group with your mate, Anna, so you can all just bitch about these people. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Why weren't they the one? Why weren't they the one? And we don't, we don't want serious things. No. Our single friend Anna, she was in town on the weekend and she told us she was on a really nice date. It was humming along. This guys could look and everything was going well. She's planning the wedding in her head. And then all of a sudden, he did. tells her. I'm not sure why, but it came up that his

mum has a rum and coat with dinner every night. And for some reason, she was like, no future mother-in-law of mine will be doing that. It's not even like the concern about the drinking culture and the family. Because we don't think he lives with her. No. What does that matter? I think she just thinks like, rum and coat, no. It was

and she couldn't even see. We were going, are you joking? She couldn't even see that it was like ridiculous. She's got the perfect man written out in her head. And if you deviate from that slightly, you You've given her the ick. You've given her the ick.

We wanted to know on 13, 1060. Yeah. Or 04-8-8-1069. So I go, Josie's text through. Yes. She said, I want a date with a guy. Beautiful meal, but we got to dessert and he called it a sweet treat and said it in the voice like that viral TikTok guy. Just get a sweet treat.

A sweet treat. She goes, he did not get a second date. I went, calling something a sweet treat is an ick. Yeah. What do you mean? If you'd be in that picky these days, you know. But it shows he's up with pop culture. That guy, that Aussie guy, he's viral the sweet treat guy.

a sweet trait. She has a sweet trait. I wouldn't know the TikTok trend, so I think that's ridiculous. He does it like in a German voice? Maybe she just got really... He's like, Daddy wants a sweet treat. We don't do accents. Sorry, I'm going to... You're done here. I thought accents were a turn-on. For Josie, turn off.

Depends which one, you know? Ah, German. Maybe that's what got it. Which I got us trying to rip out his Indian accent. It's not a turn-on. Greg on 13-1060. Why weren't they the one, Greg? Happy Monday, Greg. Happy Monday, Greg. We're talking about those tiny...

Have you experienced one? Yes, I have. After a couple of dates, we end up going away with some friends or now, then when we got to where we were going, she brought our underwear and she irons her. Did you get to? No. She irons her underwear. So was that your first time away with her?

So that's feeling very intimate to go, I'm going to show this new fella how good I am with my laundry and my ironing. Well, I'd go Commander a lot of the time Oh, Greg, there you go There's another issue So she didn't offer to iron your undies Well, he had nothing to iron Well, I hope we'd take the wikums out of it That's like that

He's under a pile of undies Yes and Ducko Why weren't they the one My friend, our friend, Anna, resident single friends Basically called it with a guy on a date In Sydney, first date They were going really well. He was attractive.

They were getting along. She was vibing. Then he said his mum enjoys a rum and coke every night. She just went, no way. No mother-in-law of mine. She'll be doing that. Usually we talk about, I've got a couple of single friends who go straight. Date one.

Where do you see yourself in five years? Do you want to get married? How many children do you want? Because they don't want to waste time. Whereas your friend is going the opposite, being like, I'm weeding them all out until I get my perfect person. Well, that's like a thousand dot points to make up the person. and no mother-in-law of mine shall be having a rum and coke

or was the issue the rum and coke or was the issue every night? I think it was the rum nightly but also... If it was a glass of chardonnay, would that have been okay? I think so. Yeah, I think that would have been fine.

It was the rum. These wokes hearing this going, oh crap, I shouldn't have just told her it was a fancy white wine or something. Yeah, good morning to that guy if he's listening. You're not getting a second date, bro. But Steph is called in on 131060.

Why weren't they the one, Steph? Gidea, good-day, oh, I've got a dozie for you. Yep. Okay, so, um, you know, at first date, everything's funky dory, go to go see a movie. I look over at him and he's picking out his whiteheads and eating them. No, no, no, no, no, he's not eating them. Eating them. Like, why bother getting snacks?

Oh, my God, he's, you know, some people put their Maltese's in the popcorn? He's just shaking off his. Were they on his face? Yeah. I've never heard of that. I've never heard of him. I think he'd a mirror for that, don't you? Otherwise, you just scratch it and getting it under your fingers.

What does it taste like, though? I do not want to know. You still got this person's number? We've got follow-up questions. Yeah, I want to know what it tastes like. Did you kiss them all after that, Seth? Or was that the end of that? Oh, no, I got up and walked out.

Hell no. Oh, I didn't even see the end of the movie. Didn't even get a blackhead yourself. There you go. Steph, that's not even a tiny year. No, that's huge. That's justified. It's very justified.

Jess and Duckow. Ducco. Interesting study crossed my desk. over the weekend. I lie to you. It didn't cross my desk. My husband sent it to me. He goes, I think you, he literally said, I think you and Ducko would get a kick out of this new research. I said, you know us. We love a study. We do love a good study. We love some new research. Unfortunately, I can't credit who has done this research. Right. But the results speak for themselves. A study has found that women speak on average, roughly 20,000 words a day

compared to men, speak about 7,000. Wow. That's a difference, quick maths, of over 13,000 words. Good for you. They go on to say, researchers link the gap to brain structure and communication styles with women generally being more expressive and more social. The findings highlight how language plays a role in emotional bonding

and the distinct ways men and women communicate in daily life. Okay. Now, I think you and I are probably outliers. We buck the trend a little bit here. I think you buck the trend, definitely, for your gender. Yeah. And I reckon I would be well over 20,000 anyway. We do 20,000 in the first half hour of this show.

We do 20,000 off air. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before the show starts. Let me start the show. But what got me was not so much the research. But the comments. Yeah, here you go. Usually we don't read comments on social media because they're toxic cesspool. But I just wanted to see, how is the community reacting to this new information?

First comment from Dean, he wrote, well, no shit. Obviously. Dakota. I said, well, that's because we as women have got to repeat ourselves so freaking much. My husband never listens. That comment was repeated about 50 times in 50 different ways in the comment section. Tyler, who's a bloke, I checked at his profile, said, I have a wife and two daughters. I'd say less, but I don't think it's possible. Yeah, he wouldn't get a word in. No. Heather has given maybe an example of why this happens and why these stats are the numbers they are. She goes, well, in my workplace, I send emails like, hello, hope this finds you

well. I was just wondering if you had time to look over the report. It's due at the end of the day and I would love it to be updated by then, whereas men will just send, I need the report by EOD. They're a bit more blunt. To the point. Efficient. No, hope this finds you well. No, circle back. Not even a hello from some of the men. Simon has said, oh yeah, they speak 13,000 more words than us and yet they still can't tell us. what they feel like for dinner. What do you want? A couple more.

Ray has said, I showed this study to my wife and she talked about it not being true for 30 minutes. I couldn't get a word in each wife. She kept going. It's funny, in my family, we've got two sisters. Yes. I reckon I speak more than both of them. Combined. Yep, absolutely.

Well, there you go. Between your mum and your dad, because your dad being a journalist having to deal. No, mom speaks way more than dad. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, dad's like in there with mom. Mom, that's where I get it. Yeah. Steve has said, yeah, it might be 13,000 on average,

unless you've pissed them off. And then all you'll get is, fine. And then Jacob rounded out the comments by contributing, nothing beats a jet two holiday. So I'm not sure if he was on the wrong comment chain. He was on the wrong comment chain. Yeah, well, I suppose this would be true in your household. It absolutely would.

Double time. And obviously, I'm raising a daughter. Oh, yeah. Her language isn't quite there yet. But when she does get there, Angus will be hard pressed to ever be able to answer a question without being interrupted. What happens in a household of only girls babes? Oh.

It's not good. Yeah. But like are you like the boy equivalent in your family, like the quieter? I think I probably talk the least, yes. Okay. So in the natural order of things, even though all ladies, it goes what? Your dad at the bottom and then you? I would think so, yeah.

And then maybe my other sister, my mom and then my 16-year-old sister. Oh, she goes nuts. They got a lot to say. They do have a lot to say. The teenagers. New Serena Carpenter album. What? You know, I want to see Shagai's household.

Him and his sister, I'd imagine they're both the same people. That's right. It'd be a silent household. All of you, I can't imagine who would be the most chatty, Shagai. If you say it's you, we need to investigate. No, we're all on the same level. Okay. I would, none of us are jaddy.

No, it'd be an awful dinner. We value silence. Yeah. I like that. We value silence. Were you a dinner on, sorry, a TV on during dinner? just so there was some ambiance? No, not every night.

Oh, just valuing the silence. We value silence. It's so good. We value science. Jess and Ducco. Monday morning, just about done here, team. Wonderful show. Great show today.

I feel like we've been around the world. Yeah. There were tin hats involved in one element of that show. Yeah, you can see some videos on the Jess and Ducco socials of Jess's ridiculous conspiracy corner. I look like nothing in that hat. You just a sheet. Okay, you're just a sheep.

How about you do some research and think? Yeah, yeah. Stop drinking the Kool-Aid. Oh, but I'd love to. There's people listening in these walls, you know? The walls of ears. The walls of ears. Pardon of me for just trying to bring a bit of truth to this show.

Question, the status quo. You can listen to that. I went to pack the foil away. Yeah. And shy guy said, keep it here. There might be a need for another tin hat. Oh, yeah, but more. Will there be another?

Is that segment done now? Whoa. The rice cookers will decide. I was inundated. Two different people sent me conspiracy theories to investigate last time. Let's see how many come this time. It's your world now. Your TikTok will have conspiracies.

Yeah, it's going to be... I'll get all this stuff from. Yeah, we'll do a fortnightly. From the people. Definitely full-nightly. You looked great in the din-hats. It looked like such an idiot, hey. It's like, I'm so...

I don't know why you had it over one eye. It's just so they didn't fit my head right, okay? Was that Bill for Loucheer's head? It's just so they don't read your... Brain, the aliens. You can see it, though. I'm safe. You can see out of it.

Some of the great radio moments, you want me doing a show with Alpoil over our ears, so we can't actually hear anything. Listen, we peaked at Fanta in a bag. We did. If you would like to see Shy Guy putting Fanta in a bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And us tasting it, make sure you're following on Jess and Ducko.

Instagram. That happened. It's all there. Yeah, anything you missed out on as well, grab on Listener, I'll Rivergate podcasts. Great show. Back tomorrow as well for a big Tuesday. Absolutely.

More chances at the NRL ticket. It's tomorrow year of the song, isn't it? Year of the song, tomorrow? No, that's Thursdays. It's moved to Thursdays, that one. Oh, the blog. Got Babs' blog. Babs will be in with a blogger.

She's commandeered Thursday. Oh, it's my acting class. It is your acting class. Yes. And we've got special guests. Yes. The Grand parents. Oh, yes.

Oh, my God, oh my God. This is great. The best. I'm so excited. Tell him more about it. For everyone to meet Anne. And George. How much do we want to reveal?

No, remember I brought that story. I actually caught up last week. Yeah, yeah, you go. Remember I brought that story up saying I went to Rundles Taylor and to get my suit, right? And then there you go, I got a story for you. There was an older guy in here in his 80s. And basically, he was having a wedding. And we said, geez, you know, it's an older wedding.

What's happened? How's this worked out? He is getting married to his dead brother's wife. Well, then wife now ex, I suppose. Like former sister-in-law. We talked about it. You know, you had minimal details because it was a second-hand story. Yeah.

The granddaughter of the grandma getting married called. We've got some more information. Yep. We've taken it all the way. We're inviting grandma. Yep. And I guess Grandpa to be. They're coming in.

They're coming in. We want to give them a little thumb and something. Yeah, a little honeymoon, a little sexy stuff. We're working things behind the scenes. So excited for you all to meet. They're actually coming in. Like, it's going to be fantastic. It's the best story ever.

Yes, that's happening tomorrow on the show. We're wrangling for an invite to the world. wedding. We'll see if we can schmooze them enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's tomorrow. That's tomorrow. Are you still going to be there celebrating? Well, we'll see. Can they afford me? I don't know. Oh, full price. No discount? No discount. Mommy's got Renae bills to pay.

How is living in the apartment going? Oh, that's fine. We've had a good show, Ducco. Let's not get bog down. If you missed it, grab the podcast, we're out of here. We're back on tomorrow. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. I've done two this morning already, Duccoe. Two, two, two. Two. Two. Pus. You've done two.

It's six feet. I know. Jess and Ducco. That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Monopoly at Maccas is back. Play only in the out. Ends October 14. For full terms, visit McDonald's.com.com.