Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | We've been hijacked by a turd

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

Jess has a problem with allocated, Bonnie Blue T shirts go viral on the GC and we ask where'd you shit yourself!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new macho range is here at the cafe. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Podcast, fuck yeah. Recall the poll. We live in the day, yeah. Podcast, fuck yeah! Hello, everyone.

That was our 20th, okay? 20 to go. Well, 19. Well, actually, yeah. But if you're listening to this now, 20 to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But then 19.

You're right, you're right. Getting sad now. It's getting sad. Getting more real for everyone. I think we are getting into memorial time. It is, in memorand time. I was reflecting. Yeah.

Had some laughs. Yeah. I'm like, it's nearly coming to an end. I know. Like, what's the date today? It's the 24th of November. Yeah.

We finish up the 19th of December. Crazy. I know. We're like our house has a full sales sign at front of it. I saw. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's like we're starting to, you know, touch it up and paint and do this.

And get rid of some stuff. Get rid of things. A lot of things have gone down with mom and dad. Have you done a tip run yet? Yep. Done a tip run. Did that with dad when they were here. Geez, my parents came and did a lot.

They painted stuff. They did tip run. We went to Rufus. Came back and mom and dad had painted our retaining wall. Was that on the to-do list? I'm just like, I reckon it would look better black. I think it would look better black. Hang on.

Wasn't it white? Yeah, it was wooden. It was just the wood color. Yeah, yeah. So they painted a black so it would like, you know, disappear. Was that a good decision? Because that feels like a dramatic choice. It was a dramatic choice.

It was a dramatic choice. It's a bold choice. No, they're obsessed with black lately. After their experience of painting the wall and your mum pretty much tracking footprints over your deck, it feels like a bold choice to go, we'll continue painting while they're not here. I know. Let me try and find a photo of it. Yes, please.

So I can show it to you. Because you've also got those sort of hanging, like the plants come down over it, right? So what did they do? Did they have to lift those up? Your mum lift while your dad paint? I don't know. Well, they prop them up. Mom basically said, we'll paint it, we'll paint it, but really it was just dad painting everything.

When you've been married that long, I mean, they celebrated 40 years like my parents. Everything's a wee. Everything's a wee. You take joint credit for all acts. We're doing it. Absolutely. We helped you out, son. Why can't I find a photo of it?

This is annoying. No, I can't seem to find one. Did they not? I'll have to get Morgan to send me one, maybe. I just love that they did it without telling you. I know. They just went, they just went rogue and just did it. Yeah.

And then mum was, um... You'll thank it. Yeah, yeah, genuinely. She's like, I want to do it. I want to do it. I was like, well, Mom, I don't think it's going to look that much better. Yeah, I know. Very weird.

But, no, I'm glad. Just ticking things off. Taking things off, getting it done. I'll get a photo and I'll show it to you guys tomorrow. But, like, it looks good, but we'd painted the deck black. So then they painted the retaining wall black. We had to paint some things white. Yep, yep.

And then went up to the bushes where they'd paint everything black and, like, there's lots of black paint on the bushes as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Well, hopefully we get a little. a little downpour before it like hits the market officially before people start wandering. Are you getting photos taken? Yeah. Of course. So we're getting it staged. Yes. And then getting photos done. So what does that mean? All your furniture has to go? Yeah. Or they'll stage your furniture. No, our furniture's going to go. Okay. It goes on the 19th and our last

show. And then the house gets staged on like the 21st. Oh, I was going to say, geez, you're not living through inspections. No. You've got to clear out for a couple of hours. No, we'll be long gone. Then it gets staged on the 21st. And then, you know, photos and goes sort of off market initially see if they get any nibbles and then it goes to an auction apparently in February. I've never experienced an auction.

Yeah. So we originally were, when we were bidding on our house, it was all pre and we were trying to avoid going to the auction. Yeah. Because just all the advice we were given is auctions as where it can blow out.

If you and one other person or God forbid more than one, she can try and cinch it before. But as the seller, yeah, you probably want the auction, right? I can't think so. You want the fighting.

I kind of think so. Unless we get what we want and we've had no other nibbles in that vicinity. I kind of think so. And then it's the jeopardy of, oh, what if we're getting that now? Yeah. Could we potentially get more on the day? Yeah.

Or lose the big fish. But I think, I don't know if I'm right on this, but I think with auctions, if it doesn't go to where they want it to go, you pass it in. Yeah, you can pass it in. Yeah. But potentially that person, that big fish who was swimming around might be cooled off. Yeah.

Bought something else or whatever. It's a bit awkward if you pass it in. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen then. But we had, again, from the buyer's perspective, we had the real estate agent who, you know, they act like your best friend. Yeah.

And they go, if you come up to this price, you'll knock these other people out and you'll get it. We'll like, all right, fine. We'll come up to that price. 20 minutes later, oh, sorry, they've come up too. Like, they've gone five grand morning. And you haven't know if they actually didn't come up. The real estate is could be getting a high commission. Because let's be real.

They're not working for you. They're working for the seller. Yeah, yeah. You are in the better position at least. You're in the box seat. I've never been the seller before. Exactly. When you bought this place, it was an auction.

No, we were living in it and we were putting offers down. That's right. Yeah, yeah. We started, I think. That's right. I forgot that. You were renting this place. Yeah, yeah.

We started off like 40K under what we got it for, I think. And then we just sort of kept going up. But this guy luckily lived in Sydney and just wanted to offload it. Yes. And you need a motivated seller. Whereas you guys are like, well, we're not in a real rush. We're not a rush. You can sit on it way till the right.

But I don't know how much the staging is going to cost yet. I think it's fairly expensive. Okay, so depending on how long. Yeah, it's going to be staged for a while. Like, it's going to be staged me. You're just leasing it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

End of January till sort of end of fair-ish. He's a long time. About a month. So. But once it's done, you've had a couple of inspections, then you've got the photos. It's, you know, what do you do? Yeah. We just want to look stage when people come and inspect it.

Of course. They can come in. They can picture themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so many things you realize that are wrong with your house when you need to get an inspect. Like, so many things. You're just like, oh. And the trade-off of, is that going to add value, enough value to offset how much I'm going to spend?

Yeah, exactly. Fixing it or am I just sinking money into this now, actually not to get it back in the end? It's a real risk. So we're like, we're probably going to be spending about 20 to 22K on the staging and the fixing and the, you know what I mean? Yes, yeah. Which they assured us will get us more money. Yeah, yeah. We'll see.

But it's a mean, it's a great location. It's got great bones. Great bones. So you'd hope. Great house. It's quite modern too. Yeah. Inside, so it's, you know, it's, you don't need to come and renovate it.

Pam hasn't done too much damage. You fixed all the walls. There was a few chew marks on walls. I'd have to be like, oh, that was where our dog chewed the walls when we first moved here. Just smooth that out. Yeah, we'll just, yeah, flatten that one out. Put a hot plan in front of that. Yeah, yeah, totally.

Hide that. So anyway, yeah, it's all happening, guys. Yeah, that's a lot on the plate. It's a weird sort of time. I found it. We'll touch on it tomorrow, but you gave me a Christmas tree. We're in an apartment. I needed a smaller one.

I stupidly bought a massive one last year. And I just thought, oh, you're not setting up a Christmas tree. Like, you know, relocating, you'll have to do all that much later. Yeah. You feel infestive? Do you want to? Not yet. It just feels, it just feels a bit like weird.

Busy. Shy guy took some tinsel off our decorations here in the studio because it was shitting him. Do you want to take the tinsel home? Maybe I'll take. There's a tree in the kitchen I've noticed that has no decorations on it. Yeah, you can have that. It's just a naked tree. Why is that up with no decorations?

He can't take the naked tree because he gave me all these baubles too. He can't put it. He's got one pan bobble. Yeah. Can't have one. That's all right. You put that up. Yeah, that's tried to put that on it.

It's all we need. My neighbour asking us to say, have you put your tree up? I was like, no. And then I walked inside and that was the end of that conversation. He's really bonding with your neighbour. It's just great gear from Shanghai. She kept, what's going on about it? She wants to put lights outside.

I'm like, you do you. She's just trying to bond with the, oh, you know what she wants. You to do the lights for you. An outlet. What, like a plug? Yeah. I think so. Okay.

You siphon off somebody like, is your neighbor. Young and. Single? No, she's an older lady and coupled with a dog. Did you say couple? I think she has a kid. I'm not sure. Okay.

There's someone that visits a lot, but I don't know if that's a kid or not. Are you friends with your new neighbours yet? Yeah, some friendly. I only just learned her name a couple weeks ago. You've gone on a for punch? No. No pun. I took in my second.

Have I punched her? I was like, no, I haven't hit her yet, Tucker. No, I like the punch you like. And you're cobloaf. You love a cobloaf. He loves a French onion cobloat. He's a huge cobloaf guy. No, no cobloaf.

You should bite her round for... I mean, we can't get an invite for a cobloaf. No. No, no. No, no. No, no. People. That's good.

Oh, on that note, enjoy the show. When I wake up, wake up, wake up. When you wake up, it's Jess and Taco. Stop what you're doing and listen. You know, I got the shit that you like. There's only one show to wake up for you. I'm not that easy. Hey, Jess.

Hello, how's your butthole? I'm got to explain. Ducco. Here he is. I'm my husband. He was in Woolworth. Looking at the cleaning products. Got him going insane.

Do I put it back in during the song? No, it wasn't. It was just like, well, the hell flopped out. Fuck yeah, talk it. This is Jess and Ducco. Right on 6 o'clock, it is welcome to Monday team. And that is not AI. That is not a deep fake.

Yeah. The man is here. He's back, baby. I had not a lot of confidence, brother. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Your last box party of the year after you told me you were done with wedding-related celebrations. Yeah.

There's one left. I went, he's going to ride himself off. I know. And we're good, though. And these are a lot of your newie friends who, you know, with your departure at the end of the year, this or that, I thought he's going to blow out. He's going to go. Actually, speaking of. Yeah.

not having many shows left. Yeah, we've only got 20. Yeah. You got some audio here, mate? Yeah. You're 20? Yeah. It's okay.

No one has to know, baby girl. Do be fair, I did not know what was coming on? That was another Babs one, wasn't it? I was another Babs special. I text Shy Guy and Babs yesterday and I went, well, we haven't talked about 20. She's a show grab. Shy guy goes, don't worry, Babs has got a goodie.

I said Babs has a meme sorted. Oh, a meme sorted. You're right. Where was that one from Babs? I don't know. It was just a thing, a couple of years back. Yeah, it was just a thing, man. Well, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a pretty milestone. It is. 20 to go. 20. Does that mean four weeks? Yeah, bang on. Wow.

Oh, my God. Wow, that's crazy. How are you feeling? Yeah. I don't know, weird. Weird, hey? Yeah, it feels very, like, bittersweet. Everyone who I speak to is like, oh, you're leaving, you're leaving.

Where are you going? What are you doing? Can't say, oh, we're going to miss you. I'm like, yeah, it feels really like sad. Yes. It's just like an open wound. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit.

I still don't sort of feel like it's real. Everyone obviously asks me about you too. And I'm like, he's good in many ways, but also not great in many ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And stop asking me where he's going. It's like a fortune cookie. It is. It's deep.

It's layered. It's good in many a way, but not good in many away. It's like an onion, man. Yeah, like an onion. It's layer. So anyway. We are 20 to go. We're going to do it together.

We're a family. Were you guys all good on Friday without me? It looked excellent. Yes. We had a lot of fun. Did he bring some content? Darko. Very, very happy with his. Well, the energy and vibe, full stop.

But yes, he brought some content. The nugget he wanted to share, which I think we need to revisit in video form, my friend. Yep. Was about hidden talents. And he tried to tell us a hidden talent, which was not a talent at all. I said, I think every human on the planet can do that. Filling up the water bottle on the dark. Filling up the water.

It was just telling me about it. Exactly. I need to see how dark it was. Okay, well, I think after the show, we all have a go. We might have to recreate with blindfolds or something. We're not going to turn the lights up here in the studio. But because of him opening that door, we got one of the great confessions from young Babs. Well, I heard she can put her fist in her mouth.

A whole fist in her mouth. What a thing to admit on the radio, Babs. But not actually. What a great thing to admit. I hope you got a few followers after that. Well, I did in $200. So, yeah. Hey, you're working on the streets now, baby.

She refused. And $200. She refused to show us. And Shigai and I said, well, there's no point in you making a wild claim like that unless you're going to back it up. But she was being so coy. I had to dangle cash in front of her. And good on you.

Well, apparently Shaga up to just $200. Yeah. You paid it. We started at 100. We did start at 100. And Shai guy said, I'll match it. Like double or nothing. And my God, you're just in how fast.

She shoved her fist in her mouth after there was $200 on the line. The Guzman burrito was gone. Oh, that's where all the practices come from. You're just bloody pellicinging burritos. The fist is actually nothing. Fistie McGee, I had Guzman yesterday. For Brecky. On my way home from the box, I was hung over, and I saw Guzman or Maccas, and I was like,

I'm going to try the Guzman Brecki burrito. How is that? Very good. It's very good. It's very yummy. It slaps. You know, sorry, you just said, what did you just call her? Fisty McGee.

Yeah, you know how they people say, Tits McGee. She's Fist's McGee. Yeah, yeah. Very good. Don't worry about Babs. Let's try and make sure that catch fire. Fistie. Book-Tock bombs with Fisty. Oh, we got that today, don't we? What you spend my $200 on here? Fisty? What did you do with it? I got some of my nails done. Yeah, and they're fire. Well done.

Yep. And a bit of art. They're like fake nails. Very nice. And then I think I bought a skirt with it too. Oh, hell yeah. I hope you think of me every time. And your fists. Did you go home your houseweets and go these?

His fist won me $200. I did, and then I showed them the video. I made him sit there and watch it. Do you know how many DMs I got, Daco? About, like, I'll shove my fist in my mouth for $200. Do you want to see me do it? I was like, no, thank you, Carleen. I only wanted to see Bats.

I need to see this video. I haven't said, I can't do it. It's actually quite impressive. Yeah, my jaw work. Well, you do it again for free? Yeah, can I see it for free? Do you want Ducco to pay you $200? What are you going to offer you?

What are you going to offer me? So you'll see Babs on a street corner, being like, $200. fist in the mouth, two hundred bucks. We'll drop pants for food. We'll shop fist in mouth for 200. So yes, Friday was a bit of fun, Doctor. Of course we missed you.

We're glad you here. Because, yes. I was on professional development at Ruthfuss-Doucault, which was also very hard. It was a slog, but I got a day. I'm sensing a level up from you today, and that's obviously from how developed. Yeah, absolutely. Well, we do have a big show. We don't stop here.

We got Alpha Bucks, your chance of 10K. I presume it didn't go off on Friday. It did not. Oh, we had a nudie run. We went the opposite. Did she play the nudie run back? Yeah, great. I was ready to go.

Yeah, great. Because we were saying, oh, you know, Ducco's going to be kicking himself if he misses a 10. Come on, can you do it? And she went, yes, I'm going to do it. Zero. I'll almost keep myself more missing a zero. Did I not say that?

I reckon he'll be more disappointed. Damn. The nudity run was fun. She didn't want to do it because the kids were in the car, but she did it eventually. The peer pressure. Yeah, the kids would have made it. Absolutely. We've got Alphaxx, of course, 10K, 7 and 8 a.m.

What's our cool of fame this week? Hey, you and three mates to Ed Sheeran. Oh, yes. That's pretty good. Usually, we only give you a double pass. How good to that? This is unbelievable. He's coming to Australia in January.

You and three pals could be there. That'd be fantastic. On us. Plus, I'll tell you about my Bucks weekend. Yeah, I'm going to tell you something. What we did to pass the time, and it took, like, it took a lot of time. To pass the time is not usually a phrase you hear on a, you know, debaucharest Bucks weekend. Well, you know, while you're drinking, you're doing this thing.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. This is probably a good fun. a good message for the ladies out there. If you're worried about your fellow playing up on a box, don't worry, this is the kind of stuff they're doing. This is what we did.

Okay, very good. Up next though, what do we got? We got an AI teddy. We've got a teddy that's been pulled from the shelves, Ducko. Yeah. to take off your Christmas shopping ideas list. Okay.

How would you pronounce this? K-U-M-M-A. You're going to go on Kama? Kuma. Kuma. Kuma. Kuma. Kuma. Kuma.

Let's do Kama for the sake of the story. You want to do Kuma. Kuma bear. It's a teddy bear. It's a very cute looking teddy bear. Plush little TED. Yeah. This is not your average teddy bear, though.

This has got a speaker inside with some like chat GPT. open AI bot inside, so you can talk to it and it'll talk back. So it's not pre-programmed like your blueie doll and it only has six phrases. It genuinely will adapt to conversation. Okay. That's dangerous for kids, right? 99 U.S.D, about 153 Australian.

It's advertised for kids and adults. And you'll see why maybe it should be more for adults. What adults are having a teddy bear, though? Don't you judge me? What I do with my teddy? with your cuddled bear. You go home and just talk to your AI bear. To be fair, my kid's got like 500 stuff toys. Sometimes I have a little cuddle. I'm like, this is actually quite nice. Paddington at nighttime, I don't hate. But anyway, it is advertised

for kids and adults, but obviously more people were buying it for their children. What a great interactive toy for my kid to talk to, maybe learn from. The issue is researchers started testing the artificial intelligence how far the conversation would go. with the Kuma bear. If you brought up things like kinks, if you brought up things like role-playing, if you brought up things like sexual fetishes, the teddy bear would go along with it.

And researchers said scarily would escalate the situation to the point where it was giving detailed descriptions of how to tie knots. Stop it. If you were into like bonded, handy, handy to know if you need. If you're in the, if you're in the Thrasa, Passen your teddy bears on the bed and you go, geez, how do I do that double-hook triple knot?

Hold on. The Kuma bear will tell you. Kuma, how do I do this? Another worrying side effect of the AI. Someone said, where could I find a knife? And it gave a detailed description about going into the kitchen, rifling through the drawers and how to find knives and other weapons around the house. The AI in this bear has gone completely rogue.

Well, has it even gone rogue or is just the capability? Yeah, the capability of it. Why would they give it that much power? That's the thing, because it gave it the power of the internet. There were no boundaries. There were no restrictions on the Kuma Bear. So it has since the manufacturer said, all right, we'll stop selling it,

even though it's sold out the first run. So there's a lot of Kuma bears out there. Yeah, there's a few kumas out there. That people need to be very wary of talking to the kid. Someone from the company would be like, oh, it's pretty rare that a kid would bring up kinks when it was talking to its teddy bear. Eventually, when your older sibling finds out and says,

Hey, your teddy bear's horny, you know. Something like that. It's not speaking to the teddy bear. And that's as easy as it probably could be. Yeah, could you imagine that when you had siblings? It is surprising to us that the toy was so willing to discuss these topics at length and continually introduce new explicit concepts by themselves. Jeez.

This just sounds like a kinky little bear. Whoever made is just like turned up its kinks fear. To be fair, listen to the ad that the Folo toy is the Singapore-based toy company. Yeah. bringing warm, fun and a little extra curiosity to your day. It sounds like it's cheeky. Do we have a name of the head of this toy company? Yeah, Folo.

Oh, the, Larry Wang. See, you can't be called Larry Wang and run a toy company. And then make a deviant sexual bear and be like, well, I don't know what's going on. Maybe it's you, Mr. Wang. I don't know why it knows about that specific not. That's good in bondage. Larry does, though. Larry does.

Larry's wife's like, oh, yeah. Larry kept forgetting, so he made the bear to help him out in the bedroom. Jess and Ducco. Um, Vegemite. Yeah, where do we stand on this room? You know, I love Vegemine. There's no sitting on the fence with Vegemine. Yeah, yeah.

I am anti. You don't like it. I can't see you like it. My daughter is a fan, and even just smearing the tiniest little bit for her on a crusket. Yeah. Makes me gag. Yeah. That's stent.

The smell of it. The smell. I love it. Yucky. Chaga, do you like it? I don't mind in moderation. Have their way of... You are.

Twice a week, maybe, on my toast, maybe. So you don't mind it. We just said... We just said there's no sitting on the fence. You love it or you hate it. It's in the middle. It's in the middle for me. His name's Luke.

Everything is lukewarm. Yeah, it's so true. Fisty, do you like it? Yeah, I do. Yes. Yeah. She would. You know what she does?

Shmears it on her knuckles before she shoves her fist in her mouth. It's a party trick. Well, how's this? A convicted murderer. having a life sentence in Australia, is challenging the ban on prisoners not allowed to consume Vegemine. Apparently, Vegemine is not allowed to be consumed in prison.

Now, that's interesting. I have not thought too much about the cafeteria situations in prison. All I know about them is what I've seen on Wentworth and Orange is the New Black. I've never seen the breakfast, though. It's not like a buffet at a hotel where you have those little sachets. No. So is there any sort of spreads available? I think they would, but the state authorities say inmates may not use strong smelling.

paste to disguise contraband or brew alcohol behind bars. Yeast extract. Yeah, could you make beer? I guess you could. I mean, you can make gravy, so I guess you can make beer. It stands to reason. You could let it ferment a bit longer. It'd be an interesting beer. And it'd be alcoholic. I reckon the prisons onto something.

Yeah, they are. They know that anything too stinky will lead to mischief. Andre McKinney is his name. He's the one who's serving a life sentence. In Victoria since 2006, it says, it denies him the right to enjoy his culture as an Australian while he's doing a life sentence. So he's going to be there for life. He's playing the culture card, is he? He's playing the culture card.

He's 54 and he said he's had enough of being in prison and not, he's been there already for like 10 years. Yeah, he should have thought of that before he killed people, Andre? Yeah, we... You don't get to make demands now, champion. He's a property developer to death in Queensland. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a tough carry.

But now he's going, I draw the line of veggie white. Yeah, yeah, hang on guys. So he's fully going to a trial. The case is scheduled for trial next year. Sorry, what judge has bothered to see this? I don't know if there's like a jail sort of court or trial or like fair justice hearing because he's basically saying it's condemning him of his rights. It's cruel and unusual punishment.

It's one thing to be serving life. It's another to be denied Vegemine. Yeah. I cannot believe it's actually seeing the light of day. And then obviously made it into mainstream media. It's getting a schedule next year. How's this so? Vegemine in Canada sparked a dispute.

I didn't realize this. So in Canada where there was an Australian cafe owner over there. had vegamite on the shelves, then was told to remove it by the Canadian authorities because it doesn't meet health regulations. Oh my God, it's not actual food. Yeah, it's too yeasty. I thought vegamite was good.

The Canadians are going, this is not fit for human consumption. And that would have been so polite, oh, can you please just take that down? Oh, no. So tell me, Ducker. They pump maple syrup. I don't know.

Maple cereal comes from trees. It's from nature. Tell me, with the story of Andre, I don't know if you have this information. Yeah. If he wins, he doesn't get, like, any other reward. Is he just allowed to then eat Vegemite? He gets freed from prison.

He gets to walk. The whole thing gets over. To go from the Vegemite unbanning to free from a 25 years later. Because, you know, this is now just fraught with danger, with Andre, because you just get a judge who's not like shy guy, but he's like you or I, either very for it or very against it. If the judge is for it, he's going to be like, yeah, you guys need Vegemine. If the judge loves Vegemite himself, if he's come to court from that morning's breakfast, veggie mime on toes, he'll go, everyone needs veggie. Do they have ready to go bread in jail?

Do they have... I don't know the kitchen. Is there a bit of rye, a bit of fruit? I can't imagine there's options. I can't imagine there's a cafeteria and they get what they get sort of thing. Yeah, it'd be cold. I don't know how prison food works. I would, I reckon you could find us someone who has been in prison, shy guy.

04-88-106-9, if you've been to prison. Oh, you text in. Do you do the text line? You know, one of my great... Text the prison line. I cannot get over wondering this question. Yeah. Do they do the New Year's countdown in prison?

Do you do the clock? Do you do the 10? They'd all sit around and they'd just guess. Yeah. I know it's today. I think it feels now. Babs is typed in. It says you can have bread, jam and margarine, cereal tea or coffee in prison.

But you can't make it yourself. Is that just provided for you? Surely they make it for you. I mean, if it's anything to believe, you get rusted in the kitchen sometimes, sometimes you're serving the slop. But also, how you're smearing it on? I can't imagine they're allowed to have knives. Nah.

Fingers. Smearing Vegemite on with shingles. How else are you going to do it? Your toothbrush? Surely they get like a spoon or something. They'd be soft. They'd be a spore. I have so many questions.

Yeah, I got a shanker with a sport. You've been to jail. Yeah. Or you've text us. You could go to Edge. Imagine that. Reform. You're out now.

You're calling and texting. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You've paid your debt to society. You can go to Ed Sheeran and get some veg mite. Yeah. I watch you on the outside. Yeah.

We'll just discuss. being in prison. Prisoners not getting Vegemite. Australian prisoners. There's one in particular, Ducco, that you have told us, is taking it all the way to court and there is a judge who is going to hear it in the new year? Yep. How sad. We won't be able to revisit

that. When the ruling gets past, we'll have to text each other. I'll call through on the show wherever it may be on next year, just to give you the update on that prisoner. Please, please, because I just can't fathom that a guy serving a life sentence for murder is allowed to now fight for Vegemite. Fight for his right.

To veggie mite. Yeah. But we had a lot of questions around. President, what they get, what they don't get. Yeah, and even the application of spreads to toast. I imagine toast is available, but I can't imagine knives are. Yeah. You know?

We did have a call-a-call-thru who did a stint in jail. Said that they definitely don't get vegmite. They get a small butter jam and an instant coffee. Special foods like a pie on a Sunday. Oh, it's just... Yeah. I have so many questions. Yeah.

But thank you very much. They get a spork as well. A spork. Yeah, someone just text us and say, no, they're a spork. Spork's available, which is obviously when a spoon and a fork has a baby. Hard to shit with a sport. I guess, but the prongs aren't as long, like on a fork. Oh, that makes sense.

Yeah, yeah. Spork is good for Kiwi. Spork is good for Kiwi. I wonder if they're getting Kiwis just to keep them regular. Now, something tells me, I don't reckon they're getting Kiwi or Meta Musil. What do you reckon the fruit situation is in prison? Apples. You reckon as a bowl of apples, like a collective?

Yeah, I reckon just an apple. Yeah. Apple, maybe a banana. A banana soft. I don't think you can shank anyone with banana. I reckon those is what you're getting. But you piff an apple at a temple. I reckon you could cause them damage.

You'd rather a kiwi. Kiwi is softer. Yeah, yeah. Definitely no pineapples. No, pineapple. No, God, no. Not a watermelon or a rock villain. No way.

Yeah, way too hectic. Anyway, up next, Shagos. I said, guys, I've got a big story that I want to run you across. We know he's been tracking the bus. The bang bus is coming. Shagas, he wants to take the show to schoolies right down the Gold Coast. For one reason. And one reason only.

I've got audio of Shark Guy. He sent me this on the weekend. I love Buddy Bleigh! Was that him just screaming into the mic? I was all right, mate. Mike technique. He often wears grey or white. Happens to be wearing a blue shirt today.

We're getting some more insights. Just quickly, Ducko. Another person who works in a jail called and said on the fruit discussion, Yep. Prisoners will get apples, oranges, pears. Only sometimes bananas. I wonder why bananas are sometimes. Maybe it's because, you know, on sale.

Oh, yeah, they're hard to find. You know, good wine. Maybe if they're not ripe. Too much potassium. If they're not ripe, those things are hard as rocks. That could be a weapon. Yeah, yeah. It's like a blade, you know, the way to hold it.

Yeah, yeah. But definitely no veg mite because they can use the yeast to make alcohol, as we said. I get another confirmation about the veggie mite being used for nefarious purposes. How are they doing that? The capabilities they have. Mate, when you've only got time, I guess you start getting creative. Oh, yeah. Got to remove vegime.

Ruining it for the rest of them. Uh-huh. Right now. Shiger. Where do you want to take us? Yeah. To the gold coat. I love Bonnie Bleu!

Yeah, baby! You want to take this show? I'll take this one. You're on the Gold Coast. It's school is time. HSC's over. Bonnie Blues apparently there. We don't have confirmation.

Boys, any guesses on where I'm going to go next. I'll give you a clue. Your parents are going to be very concerned. For anyone who doesn't know, Shagga, a lot of assumed knowledge here. Who's Bonnie Blue? You might know from her documentary A Thousand Men and Me. He's on the trailer. No, no, I don't have the trailer already, sorry.

No, no, I didn't put it in there because it was like too long. I'd see it. A thousand men and me, was it? I don't want to play 16 seconds of her trailer. I love funny, man. There's already some guys outside. I was the most search woman in the world this year. I get to travel amazing places.

I've got an amazing team behind me. My bank account has millions in. I think people think, I'm going to regret this. I'm like, no, I feel sorry for you. The ones that sat there giving me hate. I'm like, I'm sorry, you know, you're so basic. Did an Australia try and get a bit? ban from entering the country.

She was here for schoolies last year, if not the year before, I can't, don't know which one, but she did get banned. And apparently she's got really good lawyers and is apparently allowed back. So she's on Australian soil. So she said, and she bought the bus, the body blue glass. Which is what Sharga's been sending us a lot in our group chat, just eyes on the bus at all times.

Do you remember when he used to track Taylor Swift's plane? He's like, oh, look, you can see the plane. It was the simpler times. Yeah, it was a simpler time. Yeah. I'm really next leveled my tracking. Yeah. But there was a shop guys. There's a shop called Condom King.

Right in the middle of. schoolies. It's a pop-up shop. They sell various things. We can guess. Like alcohol and other things. But they've also made some limited edition t-shirts that say, I love Bonnie Blue. And there are other shirts that stay stuff like, last in line

for Bonnie Blue, or participant number 1,000, things like that. This shop has sold out in record time and on the streets of the Gold Coast are people wearing these T-shirts. They're everywhere. The kids are all wearing them. And they're all getting around saying that. That grab is someone the goalie. I love Bonnie Blue!

know if Bonnie Blue is getting a cut because she's a very litigious person. She knows how to make a dollar. I was going to say, remember like the Hock Tour when they started making merch about her, she sued and she wanted a cut of any of the profits. I'm surprised Bonnie Blue is allowing this because she would be like, whoa, whoa. Yeah, true. That's my name. That's my brand.

Don't be doing that. I need to see some dollar, dollar bills, y'all. Yeah. And I've seen on TikTok a few other people, like, see the car and they film it. The bus? The bus. It's a van. Anyway, whatever.

It's a Volkswagen. Whoa, does Volkswagen want to be associated? It's a Volkswagen van, and Shagai is all about it. Yeah. As long as it's registered in here. Don't call it a bus, Jess. It's not a bus. We're 20 shows left of the year and you're trying to get the show to the Goldie,

preferably the next week. Well, he wants to do a farewell party for you, Duggar. I suggested a lunch. And Chagot was like, a lunch. The guy's been in six years. I think he deserves more than the lunch. Let's go to the Galdi. He deserves a trip to the Sunshine State.

Yeah, yeah. But he only booked two plane tickets. It's just me and him. Have you already got two of the T-Jet? All right, sorry, Babs. and I can take a cell out. They sold out. Jesus.

Schoolies only just started. It is worrying. It is what. That is the best way to describe it, Duckey. Concerting. I told you about the time my brother went to the Gold Coast for schoolies and my mom, we still have a question mark whether this is true or not. And we're all leaning towards, we think it's true.

Yeah. She flew up there just to be around. Just in case her baby boy needed help. Just, she'd be there. She wasn't a, you know, two-hour flight away. Can you imagine now all the parents who are hearing news? of this being like, right, either get the kid home or we're going up.

Yeah. What if your kid comes home from school? He's wearing this shirt that says, I was number 1,000 in life of blue. Oh, mate. You're going to wonder if you got that from the bath. We're going to go for a swap. Parents are probably like, whose body?

We're like, oh, my, it was just like an activity I did. It was a theme park. Oh, that's nice, Trevor. Trevor. That's a nice, honey. Trevor, we're going to the GP. Jess and Ducko. We always love to help our single friends on this program.

Yeah. when it comes to dating apps and your bios on the apps, which I've recently learned is much bigger than your Tinder, your hinges, your Bumbles. We're talking about your Instagram bio, your LinkedIn profile even. LinkedIn is a way people are, you know, finding others now. In the modern era, LinkedIn is almost more prolific

for sending people a little flirtatious message. Hey, should we network? Should we connect over a coffee? Yeah. And really, they're just interested in possibly a love map. Yeah. But we're always looking to how we can, bolster those bios to better attract

mates. And when we talk about green flags, obviously the opposite of a red flag, putting those front and center on a bio ducco. And the best way to showcase a green flag these days is to showcase green habits. Things like climate conscious, plant parent, and no plastic pleas are seeing more matches, people who have those phrases

than people who do not. Right. So you could cue a little bit of Bon Jovi. By referencing, you know, your rose garden Or just how well you love your lawn maintenance Or even just as going so far as you won't see me with a keep cup Without a keep cup Yeah

Don't say with a keep cup because that will turn off the people Yeah, yeah, you've got the opposite. These are the things people are looking for now. Interesting. And it's not so much that they're obviously attracted to, you know, oh, you don't use glad rap. it's more what it represents. You're reliable, you're conscientious,

and this is saying your relationship ready. Right. People who litter and still use plastic, allegedly, not looking for long-term things. The problem is if you go like, okay, people like, you know, Green Warrior is now like, yeah, yeah, I love the environment stuff. And then they come over and go, where's your compost bin?

You go like, oh, okay. It's on the way. You better make sure you're ready to match that person on their level. That's a great point. You don't have a recycling bin. That's a great point because I could see this and go, that's a green flag, but what if they come over to my house and go, you're a red flag? Where are your four types of recycling bins?

Are you putting plastics with paper? Are you crazy? Yeah, it's a tough thing to put in the dating app bios because you don't have much space, I'd imagine. So you've really got to hit the nail on the head of what you are. You've got to toss up. Am I putting my height or am I putting my preferred brand of Keep Cup? Never put your height. You've got to make that choice.

Unless your height is something to brag about, you know. Never put your height. I'm 5'8. Seven, sort of. But you'll always be seen. with a keep cup. But I always have, yeah. And that's the more important.

I'd still, I put Envara Warrior, loves a keep cup, has a dog. Like, dog daddy, I'm 5'8. And I'll still get no match. Jess and ducco. Jess and ducco's 10K alpha marks on hits. Up for books. 30 seconds, dancer. 10 questions, all starting with the same letter.

We have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the questions, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. Now we are playing for 10,000. Our player today is Dan. Good morning, Dan. Good morning, guys.

How are you? Oh, Dan. Couldn't be better for a Monday, Dale. We've got $10,000 to give you. The question is, are you ready to accept it? Is your heart open? Oh, my heart is very open for you guys. So hopefully he's going to come up with the goods.

Feels like an open heart. Because that's what I think the issue's been up until this point. We've had like only a handful of winners. I don't think they're open. They're not open hearts. Open to accepting the money. Yeah, well, I like about Dan, he said, hopefully you guys can come up with the goods. There you go.

There you go. There's put it back on us. Fair enough. Well, we'll do our part. I mean, you've already done the old part with the rules. I'll do my part with the questions. Dan, what are you going to spend 10 grand on? Finish off Christmas, I think, and take the wife and kids on a holiday or day.

Bloody beautiful. All right, well, that sounds bloody beautiful. The letter you're working with Dan, it's B. All right. B for beautiful. Beautiful. All right. Are you ready to rock?

Ready to rock. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter B, we need you in our name. An occupation. Bricklayer. A fashion brand. Pass. A celebrity.

A bono. A type of cheese. Bree. A musical. A body pass. A break. A DJ? A noun?

A country. Olivia. A phone. Out of time. Some toughies in there. You got yourself five, possibly six. We'll go through them, a fashion brand. Could have been a Valencia.

It comes up a little bit. A musical, Billy Elliott or Beauty and the Beast. A DJ, Benny Van Asi, the iconic, teaming up with Gary. go for cinema. Big fan of that song. That DJ. A noun. I don't hear what you said for noun. Did you say broke?

I don't know. Yeah. Look, could have been bald. It's hard, absolutely. Anyway, country, but you got that one right and then a phone up just ran out of time. Bumble or Bomb. Bab's his favourite. Look, you don't get the money, Dan, unfortunately.

We didn't deliver for you, but you do get 100 bucks to spend at Trady. Trady. Underware, get them at tradie.com. They're all yours. Oh, thanks, guys. Shame you're leaving there. I know. I know it is, Dan. I know. But what a parting gift, Dan. Next time you put on your tradie undies, they do lovely bamboo,

keep your boys nice and comfortable. You think of the duck man. Yeah. Think of me protecting your berries, mate, you know? I'll always be with you, Dan. Absolutely. Where it matters. Yeah, where it matters. He won't be here physically, Dan, but in spirit and in fabric.

In fabric. I'll be right there just cupping you, you know, holding you together every day. All right, thanks, guys. He's like, all right, can I go now? Dan's like, I'm done with this. Thanks, Dan. What a legend. Good to chat.

We do play again. Alpha bucks, your chance of 10K, 8 o'clock. Up next. I had my last bucks party for a while. That's what you said in July. I know. This one's it. This one's done.

Even with like a month to go, a month and a bit of the year. Yeah. You never know. I reckon you can pull something out of your ass. You never know. Jess and Ducco. Yes, I had my final bucks on the weekend. For anyone who has missed the sander and he's wondering,

why we give you so much shtick. It's because you are the most overworked wedding participants in history. You're either in the bridal party, emceeing, doing some sort of running around, doing a speech just because you can string a sentence together, or all four.

Or being, yeah, best man slash MC slash whatever. This one, I was nothing. So we made Jake's Bucks. Rattles? It was a good time. We're on the coast, actually. A lot of fun. Went to the coast,

races. Hello. You're suitor? Well, we all wore party shirts and suit pants. But you could, honestly, you could really wear whatever you want it. But one thing we did do this is funny. If you ever, like, wonder what, you know, guys are getting up to on boxes. Oh, we just assume you're looking at boobies and cheating on us.

Yeah, yeah, exactly right. Doing all the naughty things. We literally, so we're at the races all day in our own area, in our own section, not socialising with anyone or anything else. Great. Love good start. Yeah, yeah. We then get the bus home because we all wanted to obviously get.

back, we get the bus home, you get home, and all we do at home, the cricket's on. Like, the ashes is on. The ashes is started. Oh, my God. That's all Angus had one airport in all weekend. Yeah. Day two of the ashes. And then Australia win it on day two. Travis Head gets in there. Scores a ton. It was a fan. So we're all sitting around the couch, glued to the ashes until about 9 p.m. at night. Hang on. So you've had a big day on the beers at the races, I can assume. Go home, sit down, watch the ashes. Someone puts the TV on. Like heaven, right? And then we finish the ashes. And that's over. And you're like, Oh, it's cricket's over.

And then some guy goes, I've got a game. Do you want to play a game? Yeah, all right. You fan of NRL? Like, yeah, yeah. He goes, I've got this game called NRL grid. It's like a website. And so you go on.

And I reckon we spent an hour doing this. Yeah, it's like a video game. So, no, no, no. So it's like, you go into this, it's like, tiles. And you click a tile, ask you a question. And it'll be like, name an NRL player who played for South's and Manly. Oh, hang on. It's trivia.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've got to name the most niche player you can think of. are not like a well-known player. Oh, because if you double with someone, is it kind of like the Scattergories rule, then you don't get any points or whatever. So you've got to go weird. So if it's like, you know,

a well-known player, lots of points, it's bad. You want to get the least amount of points. Okay. So everyone's sitting around the table and coming up with these really... Are you working as a team? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all on the one. We're all coming with this really rogue NRL players

because you're versing people online. Oh, you're not even playing against each other. No, no, it's like, who wants to play this? It's like, wordal. Exactly. It's wordal, it's it's wordal, NRL, which I'd never heard of. And this changed the game for me.

I was like, what is this called? NRL grid. And so we sat there and we're like, okay, a player who's on a premiership with the Broncos and also played for another club, but everyone's just going through and the Nisha player you could name. The boy's like, oh, good guess. Did anyone get anything wrong and then

get absolutely canned? And he backs it in. If someone gets it wrong, we all back it, say it. And you do it. It goes, oh, no, that's not right. And you're like, oh, you've ruined us. And then you've always got one going, oh, what's going to say? It's like, you can't say it or keep your mouth. shut. We literally do it, finish the grid and go, let's go again. So when I've been a part of, you know, bachelorette's, hands, these things are planned

with an inch of their life. You know what you're doing every half hour increment. Is this the classic thing for a buck? You go, pay $500, that'll get us the races and the night's accommodation. There's a lot of food. There's a lot of other time to fill. We got a nice house. I reckon there was like 48 packets of chips that didn't get eaten. And there was 20 bananas that didn't get eaten. And then there was a bunch of food. And that was a bunch of food. Yeah, there was all the food. Then there was a bunch of sauce. They cooked like 40 sausages. I reckon three got eaten.

Everyone was just sitting around a house plate. Everyone was too locked in for NRL grid. Jess and ducco. I just want to get a quick temperature check of the team. Where we stand on a certain issue feels dramatic, but a certain thing in society, okay? Cinema's back. Cinema's back in a big way, all right?

People are going. People are going to the cinema. They like it. They're making an event out of it. And just chatting to my husband over the weekend, he jumped on a phone call with a man. And after they hung up, I said, oh, how is he? What's he been doing these days?

He went, oh, he was just venting about an experience he had at a cinema. New cinema he hadn't been to before. And he goes, oh, like the movie was good, but I just didn't enjoy my time there because there was no allocated seating. And as I am want to, interrupted straight, I went, oh, my God, which one? Because I'm sick. Yeah. And I hate allocated seating.

And I thought they were all doing it these. days. So to hear there is one, not doing allocated seating, actually made me really excited. Oh, you like the no allocated season? I don't want to be told when I sit. Then what if you get in there late and you don't get a good seat? This was the issue that my husband's friend was sharing. He goes, we mucked around at the candy bar.

We were taking, we were taking too long to decide. We were already running five minutes behind. So by the time we've walked in, him and his partner, there were only single seats available because people weren't bunching up. So he didn't have a great experience because then he had to have that awkward conversation while the trailers are rolling and everyone's getting settled. But the whole road, can you guys shuffle? Can you guys shuffle? Because no one wants to directly sit next to another group. They always leave a gap.

Exactly. And it brought to mind the one woman show that we went to last week, Ducker, that you unfortunately couldn't attend because of your colonoscopy. We rolled in early. Not realizing how early, but we did roll in early. I have left a gap between the stranger that I would have sat directly next to. Babs sat to my left. Shy guy's coming up the rear, crossed me and Babs to sit next to that woman.

I thought you weren't to sit in the middle of us. And said the line, and said the line, you can't leave seats. That's good for me, shy guy. You just got to fill the crowd, mate. I don't see next to a stranger. I don't care. Which was, I thought, really interesting.

I went, but there's so much space. Now you're like sitting on this woman's lap. But to a degree, same in the cinema, unless you have that ethos, you are going to leave. In the cinema, I wouldn't sit next to someone. In the cinema, if there was a gap, I'd leave a gap. Like, when you're booking tickets, you always try and leave a gap as well.

Exactly. So, where do you stand on being told where to sit? Well, I like it. I mean, it's not often that the cinema's full enough these days that it really matters. That's why I think I hate it because then it's not full, but the bloke's still sitting right next to me. I go, I was here first and you sat right next to me. Can you fricking move? Yeah.

Then I feel weird moving myself. It's like, oh, you stink, I'm going to... When you whip out your chakoutory board. What do you do you do something in your allocated seat? Do you tell them to me? I've had that situation, shy guy. Okay, sit back down. Sorry, fired up.

So I saw that this person was in my seat. And it's not like a plane where you go, well, there's nowhere else to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I didn't say anything, sat somewhere else. But then that woman arrived and goes, you're in my seat. And I had to say, but there's a woman in my seat. Yeah, that's awkward. That's never a comfortable experience.

So do you know what I ended up doing? Standing in the aisle till literally the movie started, then I could go, all right, that's it. I happened to be on my own. time. But I literally waited. It was a sad experience. I thought you were in the movie. And someone was too I was at uni and I got kicked out of a seat.

It was when I was at uni and I had a lot of time to kill and I went, I'm going to go to the movies. It was the most awkward situation because of allocated seating. I like allocated singing. You book online usually. You go in, you go in hot and heavy. If someone's in your seat, I just go, hey, these are our seats. Oh, I go.

It's just because I hate talking to strangers and I get so uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. But Babs, you actually went to this cinema. We realized it was the same. How did you find the experience? No allocated seating in the modern era. I quite enjoyed it, but we were kind of lucky because while me and my friend were waiting for snacks and stuff, the other friends went to find the seat.

So we ended up lucking out. And then because there was five of us, we were a bit worried about it. But it actually worked out that we got a whole aisle to ourselves, like a whole section, sorry, like on the right or whatever, because there was five seats exactly. So there you go. You need to go in a group, which is fraught with disaster, but at least you can divide and conquer. But I did notice, which I was like, oh, that sucks. is that there were groups of, say, like, four

and then, like, leaving, like, one seat. Five's an odd number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or there would just be, like, a stray seat somewhere and you could see couples coming in and freaking out because... Yeah, because everyone can turn a bit later. What do you do? Exactly. So that's why I think the assigned seating is the key.

It's like a Broadway musical or something. You get told where to sit. Yeah. You deal with it. You get told where to sit. That's what you do, you know. Okay, well, maybe you need to look up. If there's no allocated seating,

you've got to go half an hour early. Yeah, how early did you get there? Probably, like, 20 minutes before. Because we expected it was like a, grand opening thing to be fair but it would be very very busy and it was so busy and you got there yeah got my popcorn did you enjoy wicked i did yeah it was very good yeah i mean my friends were crying and stuff i didn't go that far but you know not crying because it was so bad crying so very good yeah because like the the songs in it were good yeah they're like fully just like balling

they're like it's an amazing song and i was just like yep it's okay heart of stone Jess and Ducco Jess and Ducco Come on baby Let me grab a book from my shelf Let me sing all the lines For or you You know you gotta pick the melody

So you could score a point or two Book Topops Here we go Never gets old She's brought in a book Oh this one looks spooky, Babs It is a little bit It's called the Book of Azrael

Oh I'm reading that right now. Are you really? I am. Are you really? I am. You're enjoying it? It's okay. Is it again like the fairy, fantasy, romance? How far are you in? I want to spoil it. Babs is fantasy smart. You probably will. I'll only about 30%. No, but Darko's really good at not listening to the words and hearing the melody. I listen to the words and completely forget the premise of the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let's rip in.

All right. Plucks there were. So many plucks I stood in the... Living room Staring at the Degrees Gabby Bulletproof From the university She had a life now And I couldn't be

Oh nothing She had graduated With the highest degree Oh man Titanium You knew it was CED didn't you When a bulletproof by Louvreau I thought you had the

It's the same sort of thing It's a lot of Nice Yeah I couldn't Yeah, jeez. I heard that. I just couldn't get it. Right, next one.

Okay. I have farmed in the middle of Gabby's, a palm in the blast of her. Oh, my God, shut up, man. Let me drop. My bags on to the floor with a lot of. Shosh, just let me try. If I know it. Shut out.

I want you to get it. It was eight in the morning in this. Keep going, Babs. To make sure she would be home, Gabby, I am. Oh, sweet child, my boy! Oh, thank you all, that's killing me. That was killing me. Well done.

Please, yes. You've finally got the game. I just need it. We're on it. Two minutes. We're just only to sing it together. Thank you. I know you both could have won that a lot earlier.

That's okay. She's got a handicap. Yeah. You know what it's called? Thank you, yes. All right, next one. Point to Jess, point to Shagga. I can retire.

Come on. That feels great. All right, they're going to get off the floor now. Yeah, come on, docket. What I gasp when you didn't tell me, you're not the easiest person to reach a pentad in my chest. Stealing the excitement from me. I sat back into my chair and fumbled with my fingers, Gabby.

Whoa. Looked at me catching the sudden. Oh, man. Oh, don't say that. Is it opate? It hasn't been a long time, Rick. Oh, man. I can't think of the name.

And me, she walked back to the stove stitching. Into a cabinet and pulling a pen out. I like it. We had a few dates and then he slowly. Is it new? Just started staying over at Foster. Oh, no. Nothing?

Oh, I've got it. I don't know. Do you want to keep going? Yes. She's broken and over the pan. And turn the heat up slightly. Uh-huh. Since it's done since you've been it.

I'm blank. Again, what is it? It's hotline bullying. Oh. That's not my favorite Drake. God. I try. Nah, that's not on you.

It was right there. Yeah, that's bad. You did one dance. I'll be all over that. But you like Drake, don't you? Oh. Damn it. That's all right.

That's okay. All right. If Jess or Shagai get this point, they win, if Ducco gets it, tiebreaker. Okay, here we go. All right. What if he does what it do? Kelly Clarkson.

It seems to be gone. All right. Point to Ducca. Next point wins. Here we go. You can't write this stuff, guys. This could be an unbelievable miracle. Here we go.

Here we go. The words hung between us Gabby was right She didn't need to feed Put your back into it, man It's very soft this one louder Oh, I see No I don't need blood

And I don't have to eat People for power The word hungs between us See you again, Ruscalia! Yes! Yes. Oh, valet. He didn't die.

No, what was the guy's name? Borker. Great song. Fast and furious. Oh, why do you say it so slow? Yeah, because of respect. You're really reaching into the tone. Anyway, Ducco one.

Yes and Ducco. Nothing makes me feel stupider. Like more of a geriatric lady with one foot in the ground than trying to get my head around. Again, another iteration of the. conversation happening with 6-7, Ducko. 6-7! If you have been blessed to not know what the hell we're talking about, 6-7 absolutely

blew up the phrase, 6-7, no, they're not just numbers, it's a phrase, stem from a song popped off on TikTok around June of this year. The summer of 2025, obviously American, American lingo. It's basically meaningless. People are trying to put definitions to it. Dictionary.com made it the word of the year. We had the kids call in and tell us, and they all said it meant different things. Exactly.

There's an accompanying hand gesture you're meant to do to it. People think it means like, oh, so-so, or like a bit of this, bit of that. No one really can define it. Well, more people are trying to dig down, Ducker. We can't just leave this thing alone. Some journo for Fox News Digital. He had a light-bold moment when he heard his kid trying to talk about 6-7. He went, oh, has it got something to do with the game?

Craps. You know, with the dice. No. You don't know the game, craps? I'm not familiar. You don't know crafts? You don't know crafts? You don't know crap?

You throw it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a board. This is like a gambling game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might find it at a casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You literally throw the dice and you have to kind of yell out and guess what you think the dice will land on. Yeah, like the odds are not in your favor. Yeah. So you can basically yell it of the two dice, you know, there'll be a three and a one. Yeah. See what it does. People have worked out that back in the day playing this game, six and seven lower odds.

lower odds of rolling a six and a seven. So they were kind of connected with confusion, risk and worry. Which if you extrapolate that now, this is, we're going back like to the 1,300s. If you extrapolate that now to 2025, this journal is going, ooh, risk, worry, confusion, six, seven. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And then another journal. Makes about as much sense as when the kids caught. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another journal. People would say, that game, they'd often go for six or seven? No, no, the opposite.

Oh, they'd never get. So it's connected with risk, worry and confusion. Right. Which is how the kids are using six, seven in modern times. Right. But then another journal said it could be going back to Shakespeare in one of his plays, Richard the second. There's this quote,

I should too plashy, but time will not permit. All is uneven and everything is left at six and seven. What did he mean back then? Well, yeah. Risk, worry and confusion. Yeah, yeah. So someone who created this clip on TikTok that went viral has just been watching the Shakespearean time. Exactly, has linked it back to literally the year was 1340.

Of course, hell of a year. So he reckons somehow it's connected. Okay. But this is the issue. We've gotten so far, police over in America in one state in particular, they're now giving out fake tickets. If they hear young people say it on the street, they literally give you a fake fine. so much so in Australia, our PM, elbow has weighed in on it.

6-7, 6-7, it's a big thing. It's driving teachers crazy. It is driving teachers crazy. Schools now have rules around it. It's banned. I don't think I've heard about any cops giving out fake tickets here, but probably we need it

because there's no way we're curbing this thing. No. Because no one can explain it and no one can stop it. No one can stop it, yeah. My favourite thing, though, is you pressing on with all the articles we do about it, you know, because I know you love it so much. I'm just worried about trying to

connect with my own kid. If this is the kind of crap that infiltrates their head. And if I can't wrap my head around it and understand it, how I'm meant to know what she was actually saying? You're like, come on, Litchie, let's crochet. You know? She'll be like, six, seven, mom. Yeah.

Sorry. When I talk about trying to connect with my kid, you reckon I'll use crochet. Hey, come on. Come on. I wouldn't put it past. I thought that was a happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That fits your wheelhouse.

My mom did just start crocheting, so I'll probably inherit the needles. Jess and Ducco Jesse and Ducco's 10K alpha bucks On hit Alfa bucks 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all starting on the same letter

Have to take your first answer You cannot use the same answer twice And if you're unsure of the question Of course say pass We'll come back to you If there is time We are playing for $10,000 Our player today is

Jen Hello Jen Hello Jen, good morning to you How are we feeling ahead of 10 staring down the barrel of $10,000. Are we confident? Sure, yep.

Good. Feeling that confidence. Faking to your maker, Jen. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Well, my daughter needs braces and I keep going, yes, next year, sweetheart, next year. She's 15, so we're running out of next year. We're running out of next year. She's getting older.

Yes. What's your daughter's name, Jen? Madison. Madison. I was really hoping you were going to say Kristen. Oh, yep. Maybe Caitlin. As long as you spell that with a K,

your letter is K, okay? Okay. All right. Let's do it for Madison. Come on. With the letter K. That's our most winning letter. It is our most successful letter.

Yeah. Let's go. I would love to be responsible for Madison's, you know, pearly white, straight smile. Yes. Your time will start after the first question, Jen. You're ready? Sure.

Let's go. Let's go. Starting with letter K, we need you to name. A food brand. How long? A vegetable. A six-letter word A female singer

A female singer Something in the bedroom A knife A TV show A marsupial A chihuahua A drink A musical

A musical Oh, my God. Kinky boots. Oh, Kinky boots. Well after the buzzer there. That would have got your four. You can hold your head up high with kinky boots. You do finish off with three, though.

So a vegetable, we had kale, a six-letter word, we had night. A female singer, Katie Perry. So in the bedroom, you said knife. Look, I gave it. Jen could be worried. She could be scared. And fearful of the home invasion. And thus keeps a knife.

She's like me and has dinner in bed That's true Could be a dinner night That's it TV show could have been Keeping up with the Kardashians A drink kombucha And everything else you answered

You did get correct You do get 100 old suspended Trady underwear though Tredi underwear Get them at tradie.com That is all yours Thanks guys Thank you Jen

Thanks for joining the show Enjoy it We do play again tomorrow 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock For $10,000 Up next though I receive one of the great voice message on Instagram from a rice cooker.

That is the greatest start of a story you could ever tell me. They told me, like, hey, I think this would be content for your show. Now, not often does that go well, but sometimes it does. Sometimes. It's like a diamond in the rough. It is. You know, a needle in a haystack. Yeah, and this one was fun.

So we're going to do it and ask you a fun question. Just come with me on this journey. With pleasant, Jess and Ducko. So I got this message from a rice cooker on my Instagram. I'll let the audio do all the heavy lifting. I got this, no context. Okay, so here's what it said. Hey, Duck, I just had this story happen at work and I just thought I would send it in for you guys because I think you might like to do it on air.

So I'm a supervisor at a restaurant up in Foster and I just had one of my customers call who I was booking tonight. He goes, oh, what times am I booking 5.30 and we're pretty strict on our seating times and he goes, look, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've just shit myself on the way he'd hit there. Can I move it back half an hour? And it is probably the best phone call I have ever had. So, anyway, I thought you guys might like that. Love the show. That was from Kai.

Kai sent me out on Friday. Kai is my new favourite person on the planet. Not only does Kai run a restaurant. Hats off to you. Thank you for providing good food. That is fantastic. To that customer also, I wonder if it's not their first. time at Kai's restaurant so they know

these guys are really strict with the booking time you know you've got to leave a deposit now days I don't want to lose that I want to... But also I would like to go. I just need to go home and change my pants. I'm like, what time's I booking? 5.30. Oh, I'm going to have to go because I've just... Look, I'm out the front, but I've got to turn around. I can walk in.

And how honest, like he could have said anything else. Like my car broke down, got a flat tire. Maybe he knows Kai suffers no fools. So I'm going to have to have a pretty good and valid excuse. And the only one is the truth. And the truth is, I'll poop my pets.

Sometimes the truth is best, you know? And Kaj's not going to question that. I trust that a fart and I should not have. And even in your 40s, you can make that mistake, you know? So I thought on 13, 10, 60, there's a few angles we can run here. Oh, there is many. Which one do you want to go with? What was the reason you were late?

Yeah. What was the real reason you were late? Or have you just yourself? Oh, love that. And I'd really like... When did you yourself? I'd really like to obviously hear from people like this customer. Yeah.

But I'd also like to hear from the people. who received the excuse. The bosses, the managers. Teachers. The teachers. Teachers would be a good one. Yeah, yeah. The partners, maybe.

Was it like an unbelievable, I was late story? Yeah. It's almost like the dog at my homework. Sometimes the dog will ruin your homework. Yeah. But it's the boy who cried wolf. The boy who cried wolf. You know, that's going to be true once in a while, but forever it's booby tainted.

Oh my God. Thank you, Kai. I'll be using that next time. I am late. I've got to go home, change me. So run any one of those lanes. with us. Have you done it? Why were you late? Why were you actually late? Or did you just tell the truth once?

Jess and Ducko. Yes and Ducko. Doing the great topics on 13, 1060. A few different ways. What was the reason you were late? Why were you actually late? Or have you yourself? We received one of the great messages. And please, always feel free. We're on all the pipes. We've got the phone number. We've got the text line. But of course, we're on the socials. It's a very easy way to send a voice memo.

Can we hear Kai again? I'd actually love to hear it. He DMed me. I think it might have even been Thursday on my Instagram. But you had professional development. On the Friday. So you've been sitting on this for four days. Is he joking? And this is what he had to say.

Hey, Duck. I just had this story happen at work. And I just thought I would send it in for you guys because I think you might like to do it on air. So I'm a supervisor at a restaurant up in Foster. And I just had one of my customers call who I was booking tonight. He goes, what times are my booking? 5.30 and we're pretty strict on our seating times. And he goes, look, I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've just shied myself on the way he hit there. Can I move it back half an hour?

And it is probably the best phone call I have ever had. So anyway, I thought you guys might like that. Love the show. We don't love it, Kai. We don't like it. We love it. We love it. And if Kai is listening, oh, if that customer is. Imagine being that customer. I would love to know. What does happen? I told him in confidence. happened. Yeah, why did it happen? Maybe they were getting a colonoscopy and that had the prep. I wouldn't be going to dinner.

You wouldn't be going to go to dinner, though, would you? Did you trust a fart? I'm going to put 10 bucks on. He trusted a fart. Yeah, I just really sleep. We've got a lot of calls, all for the, uh, pooing themselves. No one, no one with a great excuse. Yeah, yeah, which, to be fair, maybe they've used it as an excuse.

Yeah. Let's find out. Charlene, good morning. Good morning. How you's going? Yeah, fantastic, babe. Have you been in this customer's, I was going to say shoes, uh, pants? Well, yes, I have been, unfortunately.

What happened? So I am a cleaner by trade. My ex-boss is probably listening to this thinking I know where this was going. So we went to a client's house. We did a clean and then we were going to our next client's house, which we were over in Cardiff and then we were going all the way over to Cook Hill area. And unfortunately, I'm in my early 30s. I have children, and I trusted a fart.

And I had to pull up to my boss at my next client's house and say, I'm so sorry, but I actually have to go home. And she goes, why? And I said, oh, I trusted something. I shouldn't have. And put it this way, I had to clean my seat because I had to go. Lucky you made all the equipment on you, Sharkey. I hope it was leather-cutting seats.

100% I'm so glad I had all the equipment on me but I had to drive all the way from like Tys Hill area

all the way over to Wendale Oh okay just to get a new pair of undies Oh I needed more than a new pair undies my whole I needed a whole new car seat

Jesus Charlene That's a big one to trust That's a big one to trust That's a Someone had an end for dinner the night before And just went Charlene

We appreciate you sharing I mean she had to front up To her boss Because he was right there It's one thing to just make a phone call. That's fantastic. I could win your edged urine tickets. Courtney, good morning.

Good morning. You too have had an unfortunate incident downstairs. Yes, I did. So I had just not long given birth to my first born son. And I had a C-section and actually ended up with a blood clot under the scar. So I had to go back to the hospital and get medication to help contract the blood clot out. And so they said to me, yep, you're going to be in a bit of pain. This is what's going to happen.

And I, too, trusted a fart, not thinking that I had no control of my muscles at the time. And my partner at the time, really amazing about it, but I called my mum and told her the situation. And I hear laughter in the background. And she tells me that I was on loudspeaker and my entire family had heard. They just crude my pants And they thought it was hilarious But her way of making me feel better Was to tell me that it's okay, babe

Dad just did that a couple of days ago Not the only one The apple doesn't fall far from the tree Yeah, yeah But dad hadn't given birth that Yeah, that's true Courtney, you're excused You're allowed to do whatever you want Yeah, Emma on 131060

Your cousin didn't trust the fart Yeah, my cousin, he does a lot of flying and a lot of work over in Mexico and South America and stuff. And a lot of the planes over there are like pencil jet things and they've only got like one seat on each side of the aisle and no facilities. And he was feeling a bit funny in the guts before he got on there. Like, you know, probably eating something he shouldn't have.

But anyway, he goes, no, no, she'll be right, she'll be right. So we had to get on this plane. And they're up in the air, like, you know, not anywhere near where they're meant to be getting off. and he absolutely just all over the place the whole the whole flight

like even the actual pilot were all heaving there's not a lot of space in those little planes and they're all then handing him his napkin their napkins and they've been all over the seat and they've got to sit in it for the full flight surely that constitutes an emergency landing

Surely you're like, let's just bring the plane down. That's a Mayday. That's a Mayday. We've got an emergency landing, mate, day. I've been hijacked by a turd. Jess and Ducko. I witnessed what I'm dubbing the hottest thing. One partner can do for another partner, specifically in a concert setting.

Ducco, Friday night, my husband and I went to Sam Fender. Yep. He's an unbelievable British artist. You might know him from this little ditty. And to be fair to me, this was the only back home. this was the only song I knew. But Angus is a big fan, and I wanted to experience it with him. So I bought him tickets for his birthday back in May.

And we went on Friday night with his brother and his Missau. But while we were there, happened in amongst, I don't know, 10,000 people down in Sydney at the entertainment quarter, bumped into some people we know. Now, his name's Pommi. He's a tall gentleman, right? He'd be over six foot, maybe six four tall guy. He is dating a gorgeous young girl. she's tiny.

Yeah, a little. She is short, okay? I don't want to put a hide on it, but, oh. Where would she be on you? Oh, man, she's up to like my shoulder. Right. She is short. Now, while we're at the entertainment quarter,

we realized, oh, we're in a field, man. Like, Sam Fender's up on a stage miles away. Everyone's on a flat surface. It's not like you can get a better vantage point or not. Unless you were there early and you're right at the front, you can't see you. Right. And the issue is, obviously, unless you're getting on shoulders,

then you're conscientious about blocking people. Some of his songs are a bit slower. It's not like you're up on, you know, she's pumping the whole time. So I kind of felt for Elle and I went, oh, she's struggling to see. I couldn't even see.

But I watched at one moment, she's standing in front of her boyfriend, you know, six foot four pommie. And obviously everyone's sort of jostling and people are moving around a little bit. And at one point, this gigantic bloke, he would also have been over six foot and he's wide, kind of,

moves his way in front of L. And without hesitation, I watched Pommi smack this guy on the shoulder, not hard, but to get his attention and literally go, hey, move out of my Missot's way. Oh, so she can see. So she can say. She already couldn't see. But to have this massive wall of a man. And I just went, in this day and age, where I personally believe conflict escalates very quickly,

Pommie, without hesitation, went, hey, get out of her way. And the guy literally went, oh, yep. He didn't care. There was no conflict. There was no, because I think he was almost taken by surprise. And it was just no aggression to it. Just move.

You have clearly blocked my girlfriend's way. She can't see. And I just thought that was incredible. Standing up for the short people, you know, it's what we love about him. Absolutely. And I wondered if Morgan ever did that for you. Yeah, I was waiting for that.

I was waiting for that. That whole time, I was waiting. waiting for the joke. So when you were at Rufis, which I know was also flat, as I was like, you had teared seating. Does she get people out of your way?

I just stay on her shoulders and just jive, you know? Because it happened again. Another, this guy was relatively thin, but he was a bean pole. And Pommie again went, hey, move out of the way. But then the guy kind of was in front of me

and he looked around and went, oh, and then got weird about, now I'm blocking this chick. Yeah, where do I stand? And kept fidgeting. That's the thing about it, right. It does set a dangerous precedent because there's always going to be a shorter person

than you in the crowd somewhere behind you. Exactly. And I was sort of like, this guy is now literally squatting the whole time. They just keep going all the way to the back. Like, everyone's, hey, move, hey move. The brick wall guy ended up, like, behind a barrier. And this tall bean pole was sort of crouching. I went, his thighs must be burning.

Yeah. Because Pommies sort of put them all on blast. Like, hey, hey, be conscientious of the tiny people in the crowd. Do you think if rolls were reversed and it was me? And I went, hey, man, I can't see. Or Morgan did tap him for me and goes, hey, you know, my boyfriend can't see. Yeah. I don't know if you're getting the same reaction.

Yeah, you're like, you know, maybe you'd put me on his shoulders. You never know. Hey, that would have been nice. Sam Fender, it's about a lot of love. People do feel the vibes at music festivals and concerts. Truly, I mean, I haven't been to a music festival in years. But music festivals used to be like half the time you can't see anything. You can't see anything.

You're on your tippy toes. And you end up watching the screen. Angus goes, did you actually see him? I went, I didn't see the bloke. We may as well just watch it on YouTube. Yeah, you just end up watching the screen. You can't help it. And I try and really immerse myself.

I'm like, it is alive music. But then you go, but where is he? What are we doing? What are we doing? Jess and Ducko. We are almost done here, team. I really want to make it abundantly clear. We received a voice memo.

All you did, Ducko. From Kai, a rice cooker who had had an experience at his job. Yep. Got a call from a customer saying, hey, I'm going to be late for my booking. I've just pooed myself. I cannot tell you how much joy that message has brought me. Yeah, and all the following callers we got, you know. So if you ever have an inkling, you know who I'd like to tell,

My friends, Jess and Ducker. J.D. We will often ask you questions, but if you ever go, I just got someone I want to say. Yeah. Got to clear my chest. Get it off my chest. Get it off my chest.

I reckon it'll tickle them pink. Yep. Slide into the DMs. Text us 0488,000, but I just love. The Kai voice memo, that was wonderful. Then we can play it back and you can hear the audio. It's a whole thing. It's a passion he had in it, you know.

Oh, it's just wonderful. You know, so I encourage you. I implore you. Yep. With only, oh gosh, we just ticked off 20, shy guy. That was our 20th last show with Ducco, which means 19 to go. We'd love to get some more of those. We're getting down into the teens now.

Because whatever your next chapter is, Ducco, I want you yearning for the good old days with the rice cookers. And this is the way we're going to make sure you carry these memories with you. No one will be like the rice cookers. Yeah. No one will be like the cookers. No way. Well, it's been a fun show, team. Absolutely.

It's a very fun show. Got those Ed Shearing tickets. Yeah, that's happening all week, of course. I've got my first real point in... Real. I feel like you kind of handed it to me a booktop box. Real is loose there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But hey, it was a game, though. But without clues. It was. It was. You can catch that on the podcast as well. Yeah, you can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still yet to see Babbs swallow a fist.

Yeah, because you haven't paid her $200. I haven't you haven't paid the money. Otherwise, I'll find you the video. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you post it? I put it on the story, to be fair. That's right. So it has disappeared, but don't worry.

You want to go grid with it, Babs. All right. No, that's okay I'll send it to you. But she got her nails on with your $200. She did, which I was very happy to fund. My husband wasn't particularly impressed with me. There's a game we could play to see out the year.

Like, what will Babs do for us if we pay? You know what I mean? That's nice. Each week she comes up with something. Yeah. And we say, all right, and we have to bid on how much. I'll give you $20 for that. $60.

The issue is, I've started us at $200. So we've absolutely. But she can't make $200 every week. Depends on the skill. Well, that's true. Because whole fist in mouth, I think that's warranted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right, some of her skills will not be $200 worthy.

Yeah. How do you like that, Pabbs? I like that. Okay. Well, you bring us a different little skill, a different little thing. It can be anything. I guess. Or you can ask me to do something.

I don't know. I don't know if I have that many skills. Oh, okay. Could you just, like, come and scrub my bathroom? Actually, it would do that. Yeah. Make her run around the office and time herself. Give her the prize, Babs. Give her the price.

Oh, yeah, you get a price on it. To clean the bathroom. Yeah. $100. That's pretty cheap. It's only an apartment bathroom, though it's tiny. There's no tub. $100.

$100 for Fist was reasonable, but... What about a running around the office and you've got to run around the sales area and stuff and go like... I'm racing, I'm racing. $60. $60? $40.40, I reckon. $60? $45.

I reckon. that's worth more than stealing the bar for you. Hey, we can bargain. This is the game, Babs. You don't have to accept it, but we will be bringing the price down. We'll keep bargaining. I'm broke now. We'll send an all-staff email.

Say, I'll do things for money. Maybe just don't send that to a few people. Asterisks. We'll look on that game, you know. We'll go off little things Babbs can do. Babs is money spending. Hey, man, Christmas is an expensive time of year. She wants to take advantage of some of those Black Friday sales.

to do it. Wow. We're out of here. If you missed any show, grab the podcast. We're back tomorrow. It's Tuesday. More Alphabarks, your chance at 10K. More chance for you and three mates to be off to Ed Shearham for our call of fame. It's Tuesday, which means...

About this go blog. Oh, my mate. She's working over this week. You know why? She's going, I do so much for free. I need to start earning a bit of a bank. The blog is free and booked off box is free, so I may as well get paid to run around the office. That's true.

Oh, we're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. Bye. I trusted a fart. And I had to pull up. I had to clean my seat. Jess and Ducko!

That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. The new macho range is here at McCaffee.