Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | What happened to your butt?

Episode Date: February 16, 2025

Ducko gets some fashion advice from the team, Jess explains the 'let them theory' and we find out what you survived!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's delicious new Brekkie McGrath is even more reason for a pre-work Macca's run. Jess and Duggo! This is the Jess and Duggo podcast. Hi everyone, happy podcast. Hello. Hello. Great show. Great show, always a good show. Do you think people lift in their contributions when we have a co-file?

I do. Do you think it's a general rule we can go by? I think we have enough data to say. And I will say this, people are better this week than they were all of last week for Kylie. Oh, well, isn't that funny? People have been better in one day. Now, see, that's the thing. Is it the fact there are more prizes to give away in the co-fod?

Possibly. Is it the artist itself? Because I would think in this country, Kylie would be a bigger carrot than Nelly. Maybe I'm wrong. See, for me, Nellyie's way bigger than Kylie. Yeah, there you go. But it's just horses for courses.

Oh, wow. I mean, whatever activates your almonds. Whatever puts a rise in your Levi's. Peps in your steps. Whatever does. Kylie will do it for some. Yeah. Nellie does it for others.

It's not a fair test with not both being co-fods, though. They need to be co-fods. Don't you reckon? The problem we're getting now is we're doing so many co-fods, which is a call of fame of the day if you're new here. It does make the call of fame of the week. Just diluted. Lackluster.

Yeah, it makes it watered down. It's almost getting to the point now where we're going to have to have a co-fod regularly. Because what did we do the other time, co-fod? Billie Eilish. Yeah, that's right. Like, that was a hell of a week. Yeah, and then all of a sudden it'll be like one week, it'll be like the call of fame this week is just $100 voucher to Minx Erotica.

You know what I mean? I mean, and again, whatever puts a rise in your lead. For the right person, that will be I go to the above and beyond. Can I tell you a funny story? We'll be giving away an eggshell chair before you know it. Hey man, I met the lady who won that chair and she's still talking about that chair. It's one of those things you wouldn't want to buy. Danica, Danica, Don, Donita.

I'm sorry if you're listening. She was a lovely South African lady. Yeah. I bumped into her in front of the chicken shop, which is next door to the South African jerky shop. So I think she runs it. There you go. She loved that chair.

Yeah. Can I tell you a funny story? Yep. I don't know if it's for on air. Okay. I'll tell you here. Okay. So when the girls came over

Before we headed to Howland Country Music Festival Over the weekend Pranking Yep Had everyone come to mind first We'll go in together Pre-drinks But we weren't drinking

But I know But we weren't drinking No alcohol? No It was literally everyone meeting And we're going Oh straight away The window man

I told you Pre-bananagrams chats Pre-bananagrams We'veats. Pre-bananagrams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a window. I didn't even offer them water because I'm like, it'll take too much time. As soon as Lucy gets here, get in the car, we're going. Right.

So I didn't offer them any beverage. Okay. But Lucy ended up getting stuck on a phone call. So we were sort of mucking around for a little bit. I'm like, all right, time to put my shoes on. At least I can be fully ready to go. Keys in hand. Yeah.

Gone into my bedroom, bedside drawer where I keep the undies and the socks. Pulled out the socks and just left the drawers open. Come back out. Lucia obviously followed me in and stayed in the bedroom or whatever. Walked out holding my little toy from Minx Erotic Boutique. And my friend Addy was like, um. I went, oh, goodness gracious. I'm like, I wiped it down.

It's all right. She can hold it. I've cleaned it. goodness gracious. I'm like, I wiped it down. It's all right. She can hold it. I've cleaned it. It's a little weird. She's sucking it. Ripped it out of her hand. I was like, and let's put that away. I can't remember what toy you got.

I got the trio of minis. Oh, shit. So they very much look like toys. Little bullets. Little bullets. Yeah. I read the leaflet. And that'd be so fun for a kid if you saw that.

Well, there's one that I think it's for the other end. They're balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't I think it's for the other end. I assume. The research tells me. Did you turn it on? No, I don't think she could.

To be honest, I think the battery's dead. You've got to charge them. You've got to charge them. But it ended up, that cable ended up in the miscellaneous drawer. So I don't know which cable quite matches. It's one of the tiny USBs. Anyway, but it's fun because it's got almost like a key ring situation. It's got like a big loop.

I guess, I don't know, make it easier to hold? In case you don't lose it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slips in. Oh, my God. Like a tampon. Yeah, yeah. Because you never know. Some people, there's some wives that come. We've heard stories. They get stuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It slips in. Oh, my God. Like a tampon. Yeah, yeah. Because you never know.

Some people, there's some wives that come. We've got stories. They get stuck. I was like, is this for keys? Who's put this on their keys? Hey, on today's show, we hear about wank breaks in workplaces. So maybe you could put it on your keys. Masturbation stations.

Anyway, so that's what happened at pre-drinks without the drinks. Wow. That's a bit of fun. Bit of fun. Yeah, that's a good time. Were you embarrassed or were you like, ah, it's my close friends? Do you know what? It's my close friends. Different if it was your in-laws. Oops. Absolutely, which actually

makes me worried if I ever leave the drawer open. You should never. The top drawer's a bad place to leave that stuff. I do it as well. It was bottom drawer as well. Because the socks at the bottom, undies on the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now Lucia knows what she can get from that drawer. I know. It's more than just socks and bookmarks.

She's going to go back there and be like, where's mum's funny toy? They're there right now. I should make sure drawers are always closed. That makes me nervous. That is nerve wracking. Because as if they don't go peep through the drawers, you peep through people's drawers. Absolutely.

Last time I went to your house, I was looking for anything new. You haven't really updated your stuff. I'm so sorry about that. I was like, I've seen all this before. Now they've just got baby stuff. I've seen all this before. I was like, boy with this stuff. I'm so sorry about that. I was like, I've seen all this before. Now they've just got baby stuff. I've seen all this before. Get some more pinky shit in your drawer so I can look for it, please. Will you go in the bedside drawers?

Hey, leave me a scavenger hunt next time. That would be fun for me. What do I leave? Chips or something like that leading into the drawer? Hello? Yes, a trail of Doritos. Oh, that's funny. Anyway, so that was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do we get onto that? The possible call of frame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it was excellent. That's a good story. Shaga, anything to add? I feel like you could have done that tomorrow. Oh, you reckon?

I feel like you could have done that. We could have done it. What did they find in the draw? What did they find? I feel like we have done it before. Remember we've heard the story, that woman who said her kid walked out with it. I think she's called twice and told the same story. So I'm just conscientious. Anything in that realm.

A little podcast exclusive. A little podcast exclusive. But it's different when it happens to you, you know. Very different. Oh, wow. Very different. And yeah, good learning for me. Not the right drawer.

How intensely do you clean that bad boy? Are we talking wipes? Are we talking shampoo conditioner? Are we talking? A rinse? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Which kind of freaked me out the other day because I went, should I be doing something more with this? Yeah. I don't actually know. There was no kit with it. There's like alcohol wipes, I guess. Is it alcohol wipes? I think a rinse is fine.

Oh, just a rinse. It's not like you're sharing it. Well, she is now. Do you? Okay, yeah. Apologies. I shouldn't assume what you get up to with your bike right now. Well, my girlfriend's right.

We had some time to kill. I didn't want to have a turn. The pre-drinks where there was no alcohol, there was at least five minutes where... I had to entertain the lady somehow. Yeah, I get it. Gotta do something. I didn't even have any hummus. Like, there was nothing to entertain them.

Yeah. Always be clean, too. Always clean your stuff. Always, yeah. It's a great lesson. I don't actually know the right way to do that. No, I've always Always clean your stuff. Always, yeah. It's a great lesson. I don't actually know the right way to do that. No, I've always wondered because they're waterproof, but it still feels bad chucking it in like lots of water.

Just back it, yes. Put it in the dishwasher. Yeah. In the dishwasher. No, you don't be doing that. I feel like hot water rinse, maybe a bit of soap, a bit of hand soap. Babs, what do you do for yours? Don't look at me.

Come on, Babs. No. Help me. I don't want to be getting no. It's not me you're helping. It's Jess, the girl you called stinky today. Your fellow taco. I didn't call at me. Come on, Babs. No. Help me. I don't want to be getting no. It's not me you're helping. It's Jess, the girl you called stinky today. Your fellow taco. I didn't call you stinky.

Tell everyone on the podcast what you came in and said. I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual. You know that? I need to avoid all that. No, no. What's that song? Sorry, Jess. That's just so too niche.

What's that song? You played it. What's that song? I know it. I can't. I don't know what's happening right now. A venereal disease? I know it. I can't. I don't know what's happening right now. A venereal disease song.

Hang on. Lil Wayne. Okay. We play him a lot. It's called A Millie. A Millie. A Millie. You know that one?

Oh, yeah. It's like A Millie, A Millie. That one. Oh, fuck. Where were you before the sting got played? The lack of support from you, Babs. She's too busy blocking her nose over there. Yeah, Babs, you rinse, dishwasher. Just do drills down there.

Yeah, so, Babs, where do you put it? What did you do with Dot? Yeah. Just a rinse. Has Dot had any more fun? Not a whole lot. Is she in your sock drawer? Yes.

When you, like, Saturday night, you're like, fuck it, I'm going to get Dot out. There's been some nights, yeah. Should we get ours together so they're not alone? No. Like, mine can live at your house so Dot has a friend. And then when Jess goes, hey, text him and goes, hey, can you drop my thing over? I'm ready now. Yeah, no, just a rinse.

And then Shago comes over, what are you doing here, mate? At least mine came in a trio Dot's all alone In that sock drawer She's got no one for company If sausage party Has taught us anything Is that inanimate objects

Have feelings I've got the lube next to it So true actually What flavour are you running with It's flavourless It's just I don't know If there's nothing

More shot guy ass So It's plain Plain But like even fragrance Why do I need to be flavoured But even fragrance Yeah I suppose you don't know. If there's nothing. More shy guy ass. It's plain. Plain. But like even fragrance. Why do I need to be flavored? But even fragrance. Yeah, I suppose you don't need fragrance. You're not tasting it.

Yeah, I'm not tasting it. Yeah, but like scent and, you know. I don't need scent. Wow. You know who you are? Maud Flanders. That's an insult. She died.

No, because she likes her. Who's Maud Flanders? Ned's wife. Did he have a wife? Don't do it again. Sorry, Jess. Did he think it was a rotten horse mom? It's just too niche.

I don't know, she's never there. She died in like season eight. Yeah, there's a... Homer threw her off a cliff. While we're here. Wait, really? Yeah. So Babs, how do you wash yours?

Just tell us, Babs. We know you've got one. I'll keep bringing up niche fucking references. Or is it still in a sealed packet? Did you know that Jess doesn't wear perfume? Yeah, because you told us. Yeah. It doesn't surprise me that you stink, you bitch.

I know because I'm in the studio every day. I noticed you were a jumper today. I was cold today. I still am cold. I like the studio freezing because if it gets any warmer, it's worse for you guys. So I appreciate you're now just rugging up. Because if we turn the air con on, it's not good for anyone else. Welcome to Monday Teen.

It's a fresh week. Fresh week. Feels great to be here. Oh yeah. Good bloody morning. Good morning. I am in a jumper this morning because I was a bit nippy. And it's looking a little vintage.

I like this style on you. Oh yeah, I picked it up when I was in Victoria recently, doing the weather, because I was cold and I had to buy it. Do you know what it's giving? Ski fields. Yeah, there's a bit like that. It feels like something I would take when I would go skiing. This is Gander, the rip-off country road. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's a bit like that. It feels like something I would take when I would go skiing. This is Gander, the rip-off Country Road.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much nicer to the back pocket, Gander, than Country Road. I like. They've gone with that vintage sort of style. Yep. I had to reach into my cupboard today because it was like dark and I didn't realise I'd need to jump.

It was windy. You and my daughter both, first night we've put her back in the sack. You know those sleep sacks you put the babies in? Yeah, they can't move around. 100%. We get her arms free, but just a little extra layer. Still woke up overnight. I'm like, I think she's getting cold.

She's freezing. She's freezing. I'm like, oh my God, it's changing. This is just going to be a couple of, it's still February. But isn't it so funny because the forecast for the weather, at least where we are, was meant to be rain, ended up being like 35. Yeah, I know. So you can't pick it.

Don't trust weather people, guys. Don't, wow. I've always said that. Chance of showers, you're never wrong. And this is coming from the horse's mouth. The specialist. The specialist. He's in the world.

He's got his finger on the pulse. Yes, I do. Having been a Today Weatherman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Moonlighting as a weatherman. So it's all over the shop. It is. It is. It just felt weird in February putting a jumper on the coat of work. I was like, yeah, yeah. Moonlighting as a weatherman. So it's all over the shop. It is. It is.

It just felt weird in February putting a jumper on though. Going to work. I was like, this is wrong. I couldn't focus on the weather because I woke up with the worst cramps. So that's what's going on in my world. Have a big dinner? Where do they come from? No, I don't know.

And I still can't work out. For 33 years I've inhabited this body. I don't know if it was stomach or like abdomen or like, you know, uterus. I don't know what's going on. It's like Lucia stepped on my husband yesterday and he went, oh, my spleen. I went, I wouldn't know if someone hurt my spleen. He goes, I just took a guess. Yeah, yeah, just made it up.

Around that general stomach area. Exactly. That sounds really like you know what's up. Oh, my gallbladder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my pancreas. Are these all different organs? They are.

We're saying different things. All the same, though. All the stomach. They are. It's all connected. How are we all feeling for this Monday? Shaga, are you going well? Yeah, good.

You look well rested. Thank you. How's your spleen, gallbladder, and or pancreas? I wouldn't know where they are. Yeah. Does it all feel good inside? Or what they do, but I think they're functioning normally. Sure.

Sure. I think so. No cramps? No cramps. No cramps today. Have your cramps seized? They do, but I think they're functioning normally. Sure. Yeah. I think so. No cramps. No cramps. No cramps today. Have your cramps seized? They're all right now. Okay.

Nice cup of chamomile tea soothes all my ailments. There you go. So are we expecting you on that work toilet in a minute? Maybe, but again, I don't know if it's digestive or if it's, you know, I did one workout last week, Ducko. It could be the DOMS of that. The stomach doms. The gallbladder doms.

The gallbladder doms. Stranger things have happened. You know who's a specialist in stomach cramps? Oh, it's Sweet Babs. Babs. Good morning. Good morning. How are your cramps today?

All right, yeah. You can diagnose. Can you come feel around my belly and try and work out which one is hurting? Sure. What's Jess getting these from, Babs? Because yours are usually from what? White bread. Yeah.

Too much dairy. Milk. Pasta. Milk. Pasta. Guzman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything.

Yeah. Yeah. Jeez. And are you due? Because I thought we'd synced up, so I would know. That's my next question. I think we kind of got off, but mine's in a couple weeks. Oh, see, now it's just two in the middle.

Okay. It's not that either. It's a mystery. We're going to get through it one step at a time together. We will together. As a team. It's the way we get through everything. That's how we do it.

I love that. And it's a huge week of shows because we're going to have a co-fod on the show this week. Every single day, a double pass to see. Yes. The one and only. Yes. Nelly. I realise I should have had a Nelly song.

Oh, that would have. But everyone knows. So hot and hair. I am. I can't believe Nelly's still touring. I'm not going to lie to anyone. I love Nelly. Don't get me wrong. He's still touring.

Whether or not he has the band-aid on his cheek, that might have just been from an audience. What's the song where Khalees messages him on Microsoft Excel? Kelly Rowland. Kelly Rowland. Dilemma. Oh, yeah. Dilemma's a great song.

He pulls out the phone, whips it out, messages on Microsoft Excel. Kelly might be in the country as well. Kelly Rowland. Kelly Rowland. Dilemma. Oh, yeah. Dilemma's a great song. Pulls out the phone, whips it out, messages on Microsoft XL. Kelly might be in the country as well. You never know. Yeah. She'd do a little cameo at the concert. They're buds. They are buds. I mean.

Does Nelly still wear the tape in these shows? I don't know. We'd have to check that. But maybe for some of the songs that were big then, it'd be nice if you had a little costume change. 100%. You know, Taylor Swift's getting changed every couple songs. Why can't Nelly put a little band-aid on there?

I would like that. I would like that too. So we've got Nelly tickets plus accommodation to go see and we'll hook you up with that. That's happening every day this week. Holy crap, Grills is a good song. Remember Grills? So I've just seen it on your little list there.

I have not. I don't know if I remember Grills. Hit me with Grills. You want to see my what? Yes, I do remember this. Man, this is the old old stuff. I'm not going to see Nelly. This would be great.

Do you reckon this is the same lady from Hot In Here? Feels it. She wants to see Nelly's grills and she's hot in here. And she's hot. Well, the grills have made her hot in here. I see. Grills make everyone better. They do.

So you can be getting your grills out at Nelly. We've got Alphax, your chance at 10K, 6.30 and 8. We've got Bitty Bitty Bang Bang on the show today. Absolutely. We have more erotica vouchers to give away. Oh, yeah. Yes, we do for the parents out there. With a quiz.

We are doing a quiz. You've got to work for them. A bean quiz. Up next, though, workers at a specific company are getting offered a 30-minute break, which apparently is increasing workflow and productivity. More than just lunch or smoko. It's a different kind of break. You get your lunch break separate to this.

Okay. And they need to run through it. Should we introduce it here? I think we might need to. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Shall we duck over to Barcelona? It's been too long.

How about a little tapas? Oh, tapas. And some sangria. Sangria. I know you love a sangria. That means sexy chick. Guapa. Love that.

Thank you so much. How good. Barcelona is... It's an out there city. Fantastic city. It's an out there city. La Sagrada Familia. That giant church.

Yes. The architecture. The architecture. The architecture. But we're not here for the city, the architecture, or the beach, or the nightclubs. Can't even have some potatoes, brothers? No. We're too busy at the company called Lust Films. Lust.

Lust. L-U-S-T. What do they specialise in? Adult films. Excellent. Run by Erika Lust, who runs the company. Her last name's Lust. Erika Lust.

When I think Spanish surnames, I don't think Lust. No. But I love this for Erica. Or even Erica. Is Erica Spanish? Very good point. Erica Lust. Erica Lust.

Well, I guess I'd name my daughter Lucia. Maybe her parents, a bit more Anglo. Yeah, so true. Called their kid something English. Yeah, that's true. But also, talk about your name matching your job. We always loved them. Remember that tennis player?

His last name was Racket. Yeah. Now we've got Erica Lust. It was that swimmer, Misty Hyman, who used to swim. I mean, it works itself out. The connection there was just obvious. She's going to go into this field like Erica Lust. Erica Lust runs her own adult entertainment company

called Lust Films, and she has introduced, this is from 2022 she introduced this, and she's seen work and productivity go through the roof. She's introduced self pleasure breaks you get you get half an hour to beat the meat yep

spank the monkey spank the monkey stroke the salami and I'm trying to think of some females I don't know how I say it oh yeah

and if you could work a Spanish situation into there as well something about paella oh pleasure the paella pat the. Pleasure the paella. Pat the paella. Pat the paella.

You get it. Something about chorizo in my paella. Oh, no, it's self, isn't it? Yeah, it's self-punctured. Double act. Continue. So she has what she calls, is her words, masturbation stations. And her staffers are-

Wait, like a pod? Like, yes. Like an office? Or just a- Like, they're not the bathroom. So there's separate bathrooms, obviously, of your business. And there's the masturbation stations, which you can go in that have movies on there. They've got magazines.

Obviously, you've got great Wi-Fi, I'd imagine. As someone who has had to go in a cup for the IVF process. I was going to say, I'll be careful here. No, no. What pot have I been in? For the IVF process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm imagining, you filmed it, so I've just got that in my head.

Yeah, no, yeah. It's like a leather couch. That small room with the couch. Yeah, very sterile. Very. 80s porn playing. And you're like, wow I've just got that in my head. Yeah, no, yeah, it's like a leather couch. That small room with the couch. Yeah, very sterile. Very. 80s porn playing. And you're like, wow, this is awesome. Temperature control.

I just want to think of all the boys who've been here before me. Just want to look down at that. Don't sit on anything. Don't sit on anything. Stand up. The lust employ. Just put your leg up on the bench. Pants around ankles.

It's a real little boy situation. It's not fantastic. You know? It's not fun. That's what I'm picturing these masturbation stations at lust films to look like. But I guess they're useful for guys and girls in this instance. I suppose there's like a lazy boy chair in there

that's like leather. Might be nice. You're allowed to go in there. She says that this has been implemented since 2022 and so much so that sex toy manufacturers have come on board and supplied them with tools to get the job done. Oh, hang on. Communal? Surely that's like our headphones. Like we've all got our own pair. come on board and supplied them with tools to get the job done. Oh, hang on. Communal? Are they working? No, no. Surely that's like our headphones.

Like we've all got our own pair. Yeah, I know, but I leave mine in the studio, Ducker. I don't take them back to my desk with me. That means Babs could be using them too. Who knows what's happening on the weekends? Exactly. You know, sometimes we come in and the chairs are askew. Everything's moved around.

The camera angles are a little bit off. Yes. Who knows? You can't be having work supplies. You can't be sharing those. They've got dead hot wives. I don't be having work supplies. You can't be sharing those. They've got dead-to-life. I don't know if you should be using normal steriliser. So it says this promotes less aggression and more productivity in their workplace.

A recent... How's this? A recent study conducted among more than 1,000 people indicated that as many as one in 20 masturbate at work. Okay. Was that self-reporting? What a study. Because I think people might have been lying about that as well.

120 out of 1,000 people. So anyway, she says this is just the way, I mean, obviously it's an adult film company, so maybe they're going to demo their own work. I don't know. Maybe. I guess it fits the culture of the product they're providing and the headspace they want all their employees

to be in. Would this apply in every workplace? Possibly not. Maybe not. Maybe not in accounting firm. Maybe even here. If Shago's ducking off at 7.30 or trying to get to Alparks at 8 and he's like, I've got to go from my station.

Yeah, exactly. This is my allocated break. We've got three hours. Can you just pull off? You know, there are people, and we've talked about this on the show, bosses who are timing their employees in the bathroom and docking their pay or they're having, you know, written warnings. Yep. Is someone standing out there with a timer being like,

Shy Guy, it's been 31 minutes now. I'm next. Yeah. You're eating into my time now. The problem with Shy Guy is it takes them so long to get ready and then to pack it up. Oh, God, you're right. You know what I mean?

Yeah, right. Do you book these things in? Good change of subject. Yeah. You know how you book a meeting room?. You know what I mean? Do you book these things in? Good change of subject. You know how you book a meeting room? Yeah, I think you do. Do you book a wank room? Well, you wouldn't want to sort of get yourself all jazzed up and then go when it's occupied.

Because when do you know you need to? You know, like sometimes you're like, I want to book it at 12, but maybe you're not feeling it at 12. You're right, though. Booking it in removes that spontaneity, which is half the fun. Or does it give you something to look forward to in your work day? I don't know. Like working towards your lunch.

And if you added this at the end or maybe before your lunch break, if you added this before your lunch break, you're getting like a longer time. Oh, that's right. You mean combine them. And then at 3 p.m. you go out for your Kit Kat and your smoko. Oh, what a day. It doesn't get much better than that. And then you've got a four-day work week because they know the work-life

balance properly in Spain. They get it. I just love the idea that everyone can see when someone's in the masturbation station. That's booked in. Everyone knows. Oh, there's Babs. She's off again. She's off again.

But you should see the quality of her editing when she comes back. Oh, she is fly. I know where Shy Guy stands on the robo-va. Yeah. Where do you stand on the robo-va? I want to get one, but I don't think Pam will be able to handle it, my fur baby. I just think she'll wig out too much about it. There's too much change in her life as it is.

I can't chuck a robovac in the mix. To me, that says this is the right time to do it. While everything's being turned on its head. So true. Put that on your baby registry, robovac. It doesn't always have to be just for the baby. It's for the house. It's for the household to make your lives easier.

We were doing the registry last night. Maybe chuck this one on. I think this is probably, look, maybe it's a group present. It's got a $3,000 price tag, Ducco. You guys are a group. But it is this. That's Shy Guy, Babs and myself. We are a group.

So true. It is the latest innovation from the RoboVac world. And, you know, we love to keep people abreast of what's going on, particularly in this space. The shocker has, was it Bertie, yours? I can't remember what we named it. Dot? Babs always remembers.

I thought it was Bertie. I thought it was like Robert or something. Robert, Bert, Bertie, yeah. Where I got Dot from? Dorothy? Anyway. It's your best friend. Yeah.

And you know what? Multiple personalities. Oh, yeah. Dream is the's your best friend. Yeah. And you know what? Multiple personalities. Oh, yeah. Dream is the brand. Dream with an E. The X50 Ultra. Now, this was in the Sydney Morning Herald. This is huge news.

It's going to arrive in Australia next month. Oh, my bad. Dot was a different gift. A different friend. Dot was his present from Minx Erotic Boutique. Yeah. That's right. It was a different gift. A different friend. Dot was his present from Minx Erotic Boutique. That's right. That was a different friend. My apologies.

Finally, you remembered that one, Babs. Babs messaged that in for everyone wondering what just happened. She didn't say that on the mic. She just messaged that in to us. Anyway, yeah, sorry. Sorry, back yet. Dream is the brand. Yes.

They're on their way. They're obviously on a ship headed to Australia to land in March. For $3,000, this thing is the most impressive model yet. Yes. It has legs, Ducko. Wait. It has tiny legs.

But how's it vacuuming when it's walking on its legs? No, no. Retractable legs. So it'll be gliding along like, you know, a robo-vac can. Yeah, doing its thing. And then it has, you've got a stair or a couple of stairs in your house. Yeah, shut up. It pushes its little legs out. Like those wheelies, you know, those scum, those shoes that kids have and they can pop the wheels out and then pop them back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what the RoboVac can do.

And it can go upstairs. The video's terrifying. They can push the legs out and this thing basically crawls up the stairs. No. out and this thing basically crawls up the stairs. Have a look. Robovac Dream with an E, with an E on the end, and then put legs. Oh, my God. I need to see this. It is terrifying.

It's pretty cool. It's actually very handy. So it's got, so we can do raised floors, room transitions, sliding draw tracks, and even stiff carpet. Look at it get up. It does. You're right. It does look like wheelies.

It looks like wheelies. How's that going to get up a steep stair, though? I don't know. But one of the ad videos I saw, see that? It pushes itself up. It hops over the legs of chairs and stuff. Yes, yes. That is so funny.

Because that's obviously been a complaint of customers in Shigo. Maybe you can attest to it. Yeah, it gets stuck on the chair legs all the time. Yeah, it would. There you go. And under the tables and all that sort of gear. So this new technology as well, I'm not sure if you'll see it in this ad you're currently watching, Ducko.

Obviously, they're circular. So that presents a problem for those corners, maybe particularly in your bathroom where your hair and your grime, it has little arms. See the little arms? Oh, little arms. It's like you can give it a hug, Shy Guy. It's got a little arm that can then get in corners.

Wow. And just like sweep the corner. And sweep in the corner to get in an angle where obviously a circle cannot go. This is fantastic. It can get further under your fridge or couch with these little arms. So they've listened obviously to their customer complaints, but I've got to tell you, going up and down stairs, it can only do a four centimeter incline. So this article is saying if you've got more than that, perhaps you can lay a ramp and then program the ramp in its internal map so it knows.

I'll be safe getting down here because I have a ramp. Imagine someone walking over, what's that ramp on your stairs? Oh, that's for Bertie, the vacuum, just to get up and down. It's so, oh, how's this? For extra safety, you can set it to step with one foot at a time. If you're worried it going on both and hoisting its whole body up, maybe we'll see it topple. You can press a function.

Do one at a time, Bertie. One, one. And it'll shuffle along like some sort of creepy-ass transformer. Oh, that's so cool. I hate it. It's ridiculous. But it would be very handy. Prime leap system.

Could you imagine having that at home? It's $3,000. Ridiculously expensive. Ridiculous. But... When they come on Marketplace, though, because their Berties are starting to attack their kids or whatever. Yeah, you could maybe pick one up for half price.

Yeah, pick one up for real cheap. If not less. I just... This is the world we're living in. Crazy. Some of the greatest minds putting their energy to robot vacuum legs. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit. Oh, yeah.

You've got 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Cannot use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. Of course, we come back if there's time. They're the rules. We're playing for 10K.

It is still yet to go off in 2025. Disappointingly so. Even last week with Valentine's Day, we tried to give couples the opportunity. Usually we say no help in the background. We blatantly let you help each other. Yep. Still no cookies.

Kind of made it worse. It kind of did. So we go today to Emma. Good morning, Emma. Good morning. You're going to change it all, aren't you, Emma? You're going to be our first winner for 2025. Be kind to me, I hope so.

Okay. All right. Do you normally go all right when you're playing along? Oh, I do, but everyone who says they go good goes pretty crap when they're on it. That's true. That's true. But we have a real issue with people not backing themselves in as well. So we want to, you know, we've got to manifest.

Absolutely. Let's change it to 2025. Love that. What's motivating you today? What do you want to spend the money on? Death and renovations. We'd love to give the kids a pool. Oh, that's nice. Geez, I thought I heard death. I was like, what? Death and renovations. We'd love to give the kids a pool. Oh, that's nice.

Geez, I thought I heard death. I was like, what? Death and renovations. No. Death. Like, wow. Death and taxes. I don't know if we should draw down.

Death and taxes are inevitable. Yeah, yeah. Debt, yes, okay. A pool would be nice. Debt, reno, pool. A pool would be great. Don't be mad at Babs when you hear the letter. It's W.

W, okay. It's all right. I hate W. W for win. Yeah, there you hear the letter. It's W. W, okay. It's all right. I hate W. W for win. Yeah, there you go. People hear, I think, the back end of the alphabet and start getting a little bit nervous, but W's solid. Because you spend all your time in preschool learning the start of it.

The end of it's just a bit of a rush. I mean, it's called the ABCs. Yeah. What about the rest of them? What about the rest? Come on. Imagine being X and Z. Oh, why isn't it called the XYZs?

Oh, see? See? Anyway, it's W. Don't let us confuse Emma. Yeah, yeah. None of the letters we've said. It's W, Emma. W.

W. All right. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter W. We need you to name a kitchen utensil. A whisk. A condiment.

Whisk a sheath sauce. A whisk. A condiment. Whistler's sheer sauce. A job. A... Pass. A band. Westlife. An animated film. Willy Wonka. A breakfast food.

Wheatbeak. A car part. Wheel. An accessory. A... What part? An actor. An accessory. And what part? An actor. Will Smith? A mythical creature.

A wizard? She was good. A wizard would have got you that one. You're a wizard, Emma. We had seven, question mark, though. I wasn't sure if Willy Wonka was an animated film. Yeah, I didn't know about that. Yeah, I don't think it is.

I don't think it is. We'll have to give you six. We'll look into it. I don't think it is, though. But a job could have been, you could have been a waiter, a writer, a wielder. An animated film could have been WALL-E. WALL-E. WALL-E.

Wreck-It Ralph. An accessory could have been a watch. And then you had Mythical Creature. A wizard was fine. Will Smith actually had in there. So, look, you did well. You don't go by empty-handed. $100 to spend at Anaconda.

That is all yours. Thank you so much. Thank you, Emma. You were great. Thank you. In my head, when you said a job, I just went, a worker? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone, a worker bee?

I mean, hard to argue. Yeah. I mean, I guess I've got a job title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A worker in what? Yeah. But thank you, Emma. Wonderful stuff.

Thank you. Thanks for joining the show. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60. Yeah. What are we asking? What happened to your butt? I said what, what in the butt?

I said what, what in the butt? Around, on, in. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't need to be dirty. It can be like my dog bit it. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You have a bruise.

Absolutely. Had a boil on me butt. Boil on my butt. Got infected. The reason we are discussing. That's a yucky story. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You have a bruise. Absolutely. Had a boil on me butt. Boil on my butt. Got infected. The reason we are discussing this is because we're in Brazil. Hang on, this morning alone, you've taken us to Spain and now Brazil. I am loving this for us. It is great, isn't it?

I'm getting us all around the globe. I am loving this. Brazil, bucket list country. I am dying to go. Carnaval. Oh! Take the show. There's a woman who has suffered third-degree burns on her butt

after she was standing in a shopping centre with her husband, her phone in her back pocket, like the butt pocket, just standing there, minding her own business, when all of a sudden her phone caught fire and exploded because the battery overheated. Is this a Samsung situation? Remember when they were doing that? This is a Motorola Moto E32.

A Motorola? Who is still punching out Motorolas? I'm picturing a flip phone. Oh, that's what I'm picturing too. I remember the Motorola RAZR. I love that phone. I didn't realise Motorolas still, obviously they exist, obviously it's sounding dumb, but I didn't realise, I know they're walkie-talkies.

Maybe Brazil keeping Motorola afloat. So true. They never moved to the iPhone, and maybe they will now after it exploded in her pocket. So literally, because I've seen things with people, you know, you charge your phone under your pillow, and it can overheat, and it can blow up. That's a real thing.

But this was just sitting in her pocket, not on charge, and it blew up, and it's like a huge flame. The entire phone and her backside is on fire. She panics. Of course. Doesn't know what to do. Then her husband's trying to, like, slap her butt to, like, get the fire out. I must say, I've seen the CCTV.

Beyond the woman being in an absolute tizzy, as you would be, the husband, hero mode. He doesn't run away. But she's running away from him. Yeah. So he can't get her. It's like those pranks, you know, where people will, like, hook a snake, like a toy snake, onto their friend's belt with fishing line. Yeah. And they run.

The snake obviously chases them. Yeah. She's trying to run away from the flame. It's on your butt. It's still on her. You can't escape the flame. She doesn't drop down low and roll or anything like that either. He's trying to slap her.

He's trying to put things over it, trying to put water over it. He's trying to help, but she's too quick for it. She's too quick. She ran out of the shopping centre. Eventually, they finally did get it out. She's gone to hospital. She was treated for second and third degree out of the shopping centre. Eventually, I finally did get it out. She's gone to hospital. She was treated for second and third degree burns of her hand, her forearm, her back and her butt. Of course, her butt.

And she's wearing denim. Like, is that going to fuse? You know, when material melts onto you, let alone the smell. You're never keeping a phone in your back pocket again. You never would. You never keep a phone in your pocket in general because I'd argue front pocket would be worse. Oh, my God. If it blew up there. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Much worse. You would keep a phone in your pocket in general, because I'd argue front pocket would be worse. Oh, my God, if it blew up there.

Yeah. Oh, Jesus. Much worse. You would want third-degree burns of that. Did it overheat because of the... The big booty. The big booty? The big, beautiful Brazilian booty?

Or was it just a... Motorola have released a statement confirming that they've reached out to the victim and they're going to conduct an analysis in the device as to why this happened. They've reached out. What, they say, oh, we're sorry that happened? I'm going to need some... Do you want a free Motorola. I'm going to need some reparations for my burned booty.

Do you want to get a razor? We'll give you one. We'll give you a free Motorola razor. The old good flip phones. The flip phone. It's cool in both the look of it and the battery. It's not going to blow up. Begs the question on 131060, what happened to your butt?

What happened to your butt? I'm not expecting a phone blow up there, but it can be anything. It can be. Hey, stranger things have happened. Yep. Whatever it was, Nelly tickets up for grabs. Have I ever told you about how my full butt waxed for the first time? Was it a radio stunt?

No. Oh, okay. I wasn't in radio at the time. How did you wax your butt? Because it was, obviously, you know, for some reason I have a lot of hair there. You do. But nowhere else. Like, it just feels like it just all sits there.

Yeah. And I got a friend to do it. We use, like, NADS hair removal. Oh, no. That cream. Is it NADS? No, NADS, isn't it? There's a NADS.

Was it the cream that burns off the hair or the strips? Strips. So, like, it waxes on and then the strip hardens and then you rip and they rip the wrong way. We're going against grain. So, was it a gentleman doing the waxing? Yeah. Because it was like a dare. So, I was in front of a group of friends, guys and girls.

It was like a dare. And everyone got to have like a rip. I had ingrown hairs for weeks. I couldn't sit down. Oh my God. Could not sit down. It was the worst pain. And they do say waxing is better than shaving, but did it come back with a vengeance?

Oh, yes. Because now it's like, you tried to get rid of me? Now when I get my Brazilians, my local lady's like, geez, I'm not Mr. Duck and this is so big. When you go for your back sack and crack, they also have to do and cheek. They can't find it. It's not just crack here.

They go, where is the sack and the crack? It's just all, everything's just there. Look at this thicket. Someone comes in with a whippersnapper. Are there hobbits in there? What is this? So anyway. King Kong, is that you?

I was about to quote white chicks there. Is that going to be too niche or is it going to be okay? I would have hit you with the stick. Your man's ass is so hairy, it looks like Tom King's about to pop out and go, only in America. Sorry, Jess, that's just far too niche. That's you. That's my butt.

Anyway, 13, 10, 60, what happened to yours? Nelly tickets up. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. What happened to your butt? I said what, what in the butt? I said what, what in the butt? In, on, around.

Yep. Whatever happened to your butt, we want to hear it. Poor lady in Brazil. Yeah. With her beautiful Brazilian booty. Beautiful booty and her beautiful Motorola Moto E32, which I didn't know was still a thing. Mate, we didn't know they were combustible either.

Yep. It just blew up in her back pocket. Completely exploded. Motorola came out and said it overheated. But what does that mean? Like the heat emanating off her butt? Must have been. Or like, because it was squeezed into her back pocket between the denim and the butt.

Yeah, it was just... Or did the battery just malfunction? Maybe it realised it had a hot owner. It was just like, this is was squeezed into her back pocket between the denim and the butt. Yeah, it was just... Or did the battery just malfunction? Maybe it realised it had a hot owner. It was just like, this is too hot back here. I'm going to go. The CCTV is unbelievable. They're at a shop. The husband's straight into hero mode.

Trying to pat her out. Trying to pat it out. But she's obviously... Running around. Panic station. She's the definition of a headless chicken. Like, she's just running around. Doesn't know what to do.

A buttless chicken, if you will. Yeah, yeah. A burnt buttless chicken. And eventually she runs outside the store, they get it out, she has third-degree burns on her hand, on her butt, on her arm, because her arm was touching it. How do you ever sit down? Oh, that'd be tough.

Going to the toilet's going to be a tough carry for next week. Oh, absolutely. Talked about how I got waxed by my friends in the wrong way, lost a dare, it was Nad's hair removal. Ingrown hair on the bus. Going the wrong way too, against the grain. I couldn't sit down for a couple of weeks after that. It was Nad's hair removal. Ingrown hair on the bus. Going the wrong way too against the grain. I couldn't sit down for a couple of weeks after that. Rookies shouldn't wax. No, waxing is a

skill and an art. Absolutely. People go to school for it. I remember them doing it going and only getting half off. And then going and yanking it and only getting like three quarters off. It was just. It's one of those things. I think you should be feeling the pain that you're inflicting on your person.

Just so you know. You know how bad this is. Do it properly. But there's only one way at that stage. You had to get it off. Had to get it off. It was horrible. You can't live unless it's still on you.

A decade on, is it still on? No, it's gone. The hair's grown around it. We go to Steph on 131060. Steph, what happened to your butt? Morning, guys. How are you going? Excellent, Steph.

We're talking butts. We couldn't be better. Okay, so when I was younger, I was at the swimming pool with my friends. Morning, guys. How are you going? Oh, excellent, Steph. We're talking butts. We couldn't be better. Okay. So when I was younger, I was at the swimming pool with my friends. So just picture going down the slide, face first, how you just normally run and jump and dive. I was doing that. The person behind me didn't give me enough space. They came down feet first as normal.

When I got to the end, there was a bank up of kids. So the person coming behind me, I'm there on my belly. The person coming behind me flew straight down and no joke, I swear their foot went right up my bum. Oh, because they would have the velocity as well. Yeah, the pace. They're coming in at speed. Oh, goodness.

No joke, I think I had a fractured tailbone and I couldn't sit down for about a week. Oh, you'd bent that tailbone. We became best friends though, very intimate. I was going to say, if that's a story of how you meet the love of your life, what a great I turned around, he was a 10. We go to Dimity on 131060. Dimity, what happened to your butt? Good morning, guys.

So I was mucking around thinking I could climb many things and was on top of some monkey bars, gliding along and got a splinter probably about my thumb up my butt. The length of your thumb? Just about, yeah. I couldn't pull it out because I actually got another splinter trying to pull it out on my finger. So I ended up having to go to doctors and have them remove it.

Oh my God. That must be some old school playground. You know, everything's like natural and smooth now. Yeah, it was. It was just a kid's playground and I playground. You know, everything's like metal and smooth now. It was just a key playground and I'm like, oh, we can do that. I'm still young. Squids are on the butt. That's not what you want. That is not what anyone asked for.

Abby on 131060, wrap this up for us. Ab, what happened to your butt? So, at the beginning of last year, I decided to go get a tattoo on my butt that says, bite me. And my boyfriend, in all his wisdom with no tattoos I decided to go get a tattoo on my butt that says, bite me. And my boyfriend, in all his wisdom with no tattoos, decided to bite the tattoo two days after it got done.

Oh, my God, Abby. What? He goes, well, it says bite me. And I'm like, yeah, me, not the tattoo. Yeah, it's got to heal. What happened? You know what's funny, though? If I saw my partner with a bite me tattoo, I would want to bite it.

You would have no self-control. I'll look at that thing. That would have been still like an open wound, Abby. Was it weird and gross and infected? No, no. Luckily, luckily, it's all good. It's still there. And in my bright wisdom, it's massive.

It probably covers half my butt cheeks. Oh, wow. And we don't regret that tattoo, Abby? We love it? No, never. It's one of my favourites. I'm like, what is this? Jess and Ducco.

Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, bang, bang. Biddy, biddy, bang, bang. Shy Guy's going to give us a topic, and Ducco and I will try and outbid each other, like at an auction. Yep. Who can name the most things within that subject?

Yes. Some subjects, easy. We go high. Others, not so much. But the trick is... You know, you've got to be conservative, maybe. If you're the one who says, I think I can get more, then you go. If you do not do it, the other person only needs

to come in with one thing you hadn't said to take the point. That's right. Otherwise, null and void. Null and void. What's our first topic, Mr Guy? First topic today is Disney characters. Okay. Jesus. Okay. We're going to have to go real high here. 30.

Actually, I'll take that back. Just testing the waters. Because I reckon you'll go high. I'm going to have to go real high here. 30. Actually, I'll take that back. Just testing the waters. Because I reckon you'll go high. I'm going to go 10. 16. Oh, I've got to go just high enough where you think you can still do it. 18. Oh, there's no way you can do it.

Go, Ducco. All yours, baby. All yours. Disney characters. Now, is Lion King, that's all Disney, isn't it? That's all Disney. Okay, baby. All yours. Disney characters. Now, is Lion King? That's all Disney, isn't it? That's all Disney. Okay, okay.

And you know what? I'm going to be not to come in over your category. If it's Pixar, whatever. Okay, okay. All right. Go. Mufasa, Simba, Pumbaa, Timon, Happy, Sleepy, Grumpy, Snow White, Cinderella, Bashful, Moana. Good.

Oh, jeez, that went fast. That was quick. It's 20 seconds we've got. Yeah, fair. How many did I get? You got 11. Oh, jeez, going through all the seven dwarfs was a good play. I can't even remember four of them.

I don't even think you made all seven. No, I can't remember four of them. One that you did not say. Yes. Ariel. Oh, damn. I mean, there's a few. Yes, but I.

You know that I don't watch many Disney movies. Which, you know what? I must say, I'm proud of you for going that hard. I couldn't even think who else was Disney. Oh, Toy Story? Oh, that's Pixar. That's Pixar. But that's what I meant.

If you had said that, I would have. Okay, animated movie characters. But a valiant effort. How many do you think you could have actually got? Within that time frame? 20 seconds. It's only 20 seconds. I reckon I could have done one a second.

I could have done 20. Jeez. Okay. But you've got to play the player sometimes, not just the game. Not that we would have had time for it, but there is 1,228. Oh, I could have done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what my skill is?

You went OG Disney. I could have done New School Disney. Your Encantos. Your Cocos. Your Tangles. I could have done those. Up. Anyway.

Your Frozens. Next question. Types of balls. Wait, like six. I could give you an answer. However you interpret it, Ducco. Next question. Types of balls. What do you mean? I could give you an answer. However you interpret it, Ducco. All right, I'm going to do six types of balls. My dad, myself.

I know they count as two each. Yeah, because I just know it. Six types of balls. Six types of balls. Seven. Eight. Now, do I want to see this? Because I wouldn't mind seeing this if you do eight types of balls.

I mean, what a flip. You're doing Disney and I do balls. All right, go for it. Oh, crap. I'd like to see it. Eight balls. Eight types of balls, please, Kat. Tennis ball, soccer ball, football, gridiron ball, a tee ball, a soft ball.

No, you said that twice. Oh, okay, sorry. Human balls, lawn balls, balls, bocce balls, marbles! Marbles! Marbles!

It's a ball? Yeah, it's a ball. I didn't even count. I blacked out. I counted 12, I think. It definitely wasn't 12, John. Did I repeat a couple? You have one job. You got more than what you quoted. I counted 12, I think. Well, it definitely wasn't 12. Did I repeat a couple? You have one job. Well, no, I'll tick it off. You got more than what you quoted.

I think it was nine. I think it was nine. Yay. All right, one more. How did you not be able to count that properly? She's gone so fast and she doubled up. I was like, I stroked one out and I was like, oh, but then she said another one. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

I think you've got to use your fingies. You've got to use your fingies. You did more than you quoted. Thank you. So you got the point. Great. Taylor Swift point. Great. Taylor Swift songs. Final category.

I know she probably has as many songs as the Disney characters, but under pressure and in 20 seconds, I'm going to say four. Yeah. It's hard because we play so many. Yeah. But, like, what are the names of them as well? I know, I know. Maybe six?

Oh, crap. Yep, all yours, baby. All yours. Okay. Shake It Off, Don't Blame Me, Look What You Made Me Do. Oh, yeah. Love Story. Something Sorry I've a Broken Heart.

Is that the album name? Oh. There they are. They just go in and out. And you know what? The issue I just realised. Oh, you can count that, could you? Long, long song title names.

Babs is out there just shaking her head. I even went to the concert. I was going to say trying to transport your backstory. I was trying to think of different albums. I couldn't think of any of the names. But it's not like she gets up and goes, here's my next song. Dead Pulse is like, are these the album names? That's, well, maybe that's next week's category.

There's 243. There's so many. Oh, the one she had with Kendrick, Bad Blood. We played that the other day. We did play it the other day. Thank you. I was trying to think of her collaborations. That was hard.

That was really hard. It turns out I could only get four of those. Four of those? Yeah. Jess and Ducco. Jess and Ducco. I want to share with you a philosophy that people have really jumped on board with. So much so, a lot of the comments on this social media post are,

I've gotten it as a tattoo. You have changed my life. You've revolutionized my life. I now have it inked on my arm, on my wrist, on my shoulder, on my back, wherever it may be. In 2023, an Instagram post went viral. And now for some reason in 2025, it's bubbled back to the surface. Nearly 20 million views on this woman's TikTok. So much so there's now news articles and I want to bring it to you and the rice cookers.

Mel Robbins is a podcaster. She's an author. She used to be a lawyer. She's done TED Talks. And she is talking about the let them theory. Have you heard this theory, Ducco? No, I don't think I have. Let them.

Now I can explain, but why don't we let Mel Robbins do the heavy lifting for us? So I've been using this thing called the let them theory. I love this. I want you to try it. Here's how it works. The next time you feel left out, your friends all go out to brunch together and they don't invite you. Let them.

Or maybe the person you're dating doesn't want a commitment. Let them. Or perhaps your spouse does not want to do the 5K with you. Let them. Your company is laying people off. Let them. You spend so much time and energy trying to control other people and getting emotionally worked up about things that are beyond your control.

You can tap into peace and true control if you let them be themselves. How do we feel about it? Because people are embracing this as a philosophy. Yeah. I love it in theory. Yeah. In theory, it's like, just don't sweat the small stuff. Exactly. Some people have commented, oh, this is just new age, K-Sarac, Sarah. Yeah, C'est la vie. It's just let it roll, let it happen.

What will be, will be. I can't control you, ducko, so I'm going to let you. And in some instances, you can do that and not overthink things, like don't sweat all the small things, whatever. But that doesn't apply to everything. A lot of people are asking, Mel, what about my husband who's treating me like dirt, who always puts me down when he comes home and I haven't had a chance to vacuum because I've got my hands full with the kids. Should I let him call me names?

Just let him. What about my boss who won't give me the raise for the last three years? Ah, let them. That's fine. And promotes his mates instead. Should I let some people go, what about my children? My children want to do X, Y, Z. Should I just let them?

I love the- Also, if your friends aren't inviting you to coffee, I mean, they clearly don't like you. Apparently the net Yeah people are going What about the sadness I feel I can let them And try and tell my brain and my heart

It's fine They can do them You do you boo Yeah But I'm still upset about it Yeah The second part to it is I've let them

Now I'm going to let me So if I'm going to let my friends go to brunch without me, let me plan the next brunch. So the idea is then, all right, we're moving on from that predicament, but I'm going to take some control back, and how am I going to move forward making a change to get what I want? So I do like it when it's coupled together, and you look at a scenario and go, all right, what can I control?

My own actions. So I will go forth and do what? If your friends coupled together and you look at a scenario and go, all right, what can I control? My own actions. So I will go forth and do what? If your friends don't invite you to the brunch and you let them, then you try and create your own brunch. Are you by yourself or are you then inviting some of those friends or a new group to, you know? Are we creating World War III by making another brunch? You're creating an amossi by letting them, then letting yourself.

These are all great questions. But what we need to do is when they crack it over the new brunch, that only half of it, we're going to let them. We'll let them be upset about not being invited. I see. Yeah. So then they can see how it feels. And then they'll go, I'm going to let them do a secondary brunch.

If everyone's letting everyone do things, who's doing anything? Who is doing anything? I love anything that is about protecting your mental peace. Yes. I do. I do. Someone treats you bad. You see a comment, whatever it might be.

You think, ah, I can't control what comes out of that person's mouth. I can't control how they behave. Yeah. I've got to protect my little space. Yeah. Seems a lot harder in theory. I don't know if I'm getting a tattoo just this minute. You should.

It would match your back tat. It'd be nice. Let them. I could also put in another script that I cannot actually read the language of and just remind myself every now and then when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. But if this helps you move forward, maybe you needed to hear this today. Let them. Whatever it might be.

Just let them. Let them. 20 million views. Thousands and thousands of comments. For a really simple message. That is not new information as well. That's what I love so much about it. I know.

It doesn't matter. You just cannot pick what will go viral. But you know what? We're going to let well. That's what I love so much about it. I know. It doesn't matter. You just cannot pick what will go viral. But you know what? We're going to let them. Ah, we'll let her. We'll let them. Booking for a weekend. Let them get that tattoo.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. 131060 are asking, how old are you and what can't you do? It's a safe space. Always. Safe space. I know it's rude to ask people their age, but it's kind of important for this one.

It is. This is coming off an article for Gen Z or Gen Lazy. It's in the article. It wasn't actually me. Nah, take credit, bro. They're calling them Zoomers. I've not heard that term either. Is that just because it starts with the letter Z?

I guess so. Or they were born around the time we were all on Zoom. Oh, that's a good one. I guess they weren't born during COVID, but they were sort of coming up on Zoom. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, the Gen Z or Gen Zoomers or Gen Lazy lack in cooking skills. And they did a survey and basically it says that 42% of these people aged 18 to 28 cannot whip up a stir fry. 44% cannot make a simple omelette and will struggle with even putting an egg on. Wow. 28% couldn't figure out how to make a soup,

and 80% couldn't do a lasagna. 90% could not do a roast chicken. Now, fair to be fair, roast chicken, I'd say that's a pretty tough dish to make. It is one of those things, though, that you've got to wonder. You can look up how to do it and then execute it. Do you know what I mean? It comes from them being like, it's too hard, it's too overwhelming, I can't do it.

So that's why they're all just getting takeaway now. Or they're getting your meals that you can get delivered. You can heat up. Yes, the ready meals. Yes. Just to go back to your first act, 42% can't do a stir fry. You just chuck some stuff in a wok. I know.

And that's the same with an omelette. You're just cracking it. With a bit of hoisin and oyster sauce. We love that. A couple of veg and a bit of meat. Hey, man, the beef will be dry. That is part and parcel of a stir fry. The chicken will be overcooked. It will be overcooked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's part and parcel with it. You just chuck it in. A lot of these are just throw-together dishes. I guess they've got to add rice or noodles. Oh, they're getting confused with the choice. They're getting confused with rice and noodles. This is the generation who every couple of weeks there's a new headline about quiet quitting

and all this nonsense. They want everything. We don't want to work hard for it. I want to be an influencer and get paid for it. Exactly. I want to have a stir fry partnership so it just gets delivered to my front door. So I just press the button in the microwave and it works. You know what they can do?

Set up a tripod and hit the selfie mode and start filming. They can edit a film. They're good at that. Oh, CapCut. Oh, God. Give me any challenge on CapCut. Genius at that. Yeah.

Babs, do you want to support your Zuma generation here? I can cook an egg and stir fry. I can see you being able to stir fry. How do you feel about a lasagna or a roast chook? Now that's getting into hard territory. To be fair, roast chook and lasagna are proper meals.

Could you cook a curry and stuff like that? Yeah, and I would give lasagna a crack, but I just need the time, you know? Oh, so true. Oh, she's so busy. Because by three o'clock, you're already crying in the afternoon. So true. But hey, hey, sorry.

I said this was a judgment freeze, aren't I? It is, it is. And look at us judging. Oh, we can't be judging. Oh, we just heard about the Mel Roberts. Let them. Let them not cook us turf fry. And begs the question, how old are you, any age, and what can't you do?

Let me bat one up. Yes. This is not news. I'm 33 and cannot read an analogue clock. Oh, I thought you were going to say no, you're left and rights. No one can do that. That's the impossible task. So much so, Ducker, I realised this last night.

I forgot to set my alarm, had closed my eyes and went, oh, got to set my alarm. But don't want to look at the time once I've decided it's bedtime. You know, apparently it's bad for your brain. So I close my eyes and squint so I can't see the time displayed on my phone. But you have to go into your clock app, which looks like an analog clock. Sorry. Close your eyes and squint. So what?

Just sort of like, so it blurs out the digital time on my iPhone. But the clock though. But the clock app is an analogue clock. Right. But I can't work out what that is, so it doesn't count. The big hand and the little hand mean nothing to you. It doesn't find, I can just quickly click into it and then set my alarm. Because reading the analogue clock is difficult. Not for you, not for you.

It's not for me, I'm 33. Fair enough. I didn't learn it in year three. It's too late for me. I mean, I struggle with lots of things, but I cannot put a bed sheet on to save myself. How old are you? 33. Fair enough. I didn't learn it in year three. It's too late for me. I mean, I struggle with lots of things, but I cannot put a bed sheet on to save myself. How old are you? 33.

33, can't put. And like, I will always, Morgan's like, where the tag is, bottom left. I don't know what that means. And there's a tag there and it never lines up. I'll stuff it up four times before I get it right. I just, putting a bed sheet on is so tough. Love your commitment to actually executing. I will keep going.

I'll keep going. I'll keep going. Eventually just try all four. Have you tried to fold a fitted sheet? Oh, no. There is no one on this planet who can do that except your Mari condos and your cleaning people. Yeah. Who are really dedicated to making that whole thing their lifestyle.

100%. That's impossible task. Shaga, do you have one? Yeah, mine's a food-related one. Say, I'm. I'm 29. I can't cook fish. Like.

Fish. Any fish. All fish. Just won't do it. I'm too scared it'll be underdone and then I'm. I'm 29. I can't cook fish. Like. Fish. Any fish. All fish. Just won't do it. I'm too scared it'll be underdone and then I'll get sick. I'm good at chicken. You didn't air fry. Can't do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a dumb question. Chicken would be, like for me, chicken's more of a threat than fish. I've never heard you're the salmonella-esque. I just thought of like getting a salmon slice. You can have salmon a bit undercooked. Can't you have salmon raw? You can.

Different kind of salmon, but you can for sure. See, but I don't want to put it on the grill. I don't know. I'm 29 and don't understand fish. Fair enough. Okay. Babs? I'm 23 and if a button falls off my pants, I'll probably just chuck them out.

That's fair. Yeah, fair enough. What are you going to do with that button? Who teaches us to sew? No, I don't. Sewing is a dying art. That is a dying art. My mother-in-law sews. Oh, fair enough. What are you going to do with that button? Who teaches us to sew? No, sewing is a dying art. That is a dying art. My mother-in-law sews.

Oh, thank God. You know what? Can you get all your buttonless pants in a bag? We'll send them up. Send them up to Robin. To Morgan's mum. Yeah, she's got you covered. Thank you.

13, 10, 60, how old are you and what can't you do? We won't judge. No, no, no. We used all our judgment up on the Gen Z. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. How old are you and what can't you do? And we said it was a judgment-free zone.

Of course. And realized we judged hard. We did pile on. On this new research that says Zoomers. Zoomers. Gen Z can't cook. Yeah, basically 42% of them can't whip up a basic stir fry. An even larger percentage of 18 to 28-year-olds struggle to make an omelette,

which is an interesting one. They struggle to make eggs properly. Yeah. My issue is, and I'd love to just speak to a Gen Zer who was in this research, there's recipes, there's instructions. You can copy them, yeah. Can they not follow instructions? And you can see recipes now on social media apps, so you can actually see it.

All of TikTok is people cooking. Yeah, in a 90-second frame. But still, mine never looks like the recipe on the video, to be fair. But, you know. It's there. It's there. There's an ability to learn. Essentially, they're saying they don't do it anymore.

That's why they get either food delivery. There's too many ways to get around having to do that simple task for yourself. But we're not judging. We're not. We want to know how old are you and what can't you do? Yeah, we've all got things we can't do. That's right. Casey's called through.

Casey, how old are you and what can't you do? Hello, I'm 30 and I can't ride a bike. Oh. Okay. Did you have a bad experience growing up and you never committed to it? No, it's not for lack of trying. And now my six-year-old is trying to get me to teach her to ride a bike and it's not going so well.

Oh, no. I thought you were going to say your six-year-old's trying to teach you. It's one of those things that it's rare that it'll come up that you need to do it, Casey. But eventually the time comes up where you need to jump on that bike and if you can't do it, it is super hard. It's embarrassing. It is. Even training wheels?

No shame if a 30-year-old needs to be on training wheels. I've never tried. Yeah. The problem is your fear levels go up as you get older, and you don't want to get injured and hurt. So, like, you're always risk averse. A hundred percent. It makes it harder.

Absolutely. Talia, good morning. Good morning. I'm 28, and I can't whistle. Oh, sis. No judgment here. That's tricky. That's a I can't whistle. Oh, sis. No judgment here. That's tricky. That's a tough one.

Mouth shapes, man. You're going to have to give us your best attempt right now. Okay. You ready? Mm-hmm. Okay. My first note, way too aggressive. No, not going on.

Whistling is gentle. Can you suck in instead of blowing out? Try that. Yeah. All right. Okay. There's a lot of force behind this. That is one of those skills. How hard is it to explain what to do with your tongue, your mouth?

It's like clicking. People who can't click, it's the same thing. You can't see me doing it, so I don't know if I can describe it accurately enough. Yeah. That's a great one. Thank you for being so open with us. No judgment. We go to Josh on 131060.

Good morning, Josh. How you guys doing? Oh, so good, Josh. How old are you and what can't you do? 38. Can't tie my shoes. Too late. Ducko was just sharing.

I was just talking about, I feel like I can tie them, Josh, but I do like 45 knots and I know it's not right. Can you not even do one? There's no bow, which is nice. No, I can't. I can't even do it at all. My wife does it. If not, I just buy zip-up boots.

Well, I'd boots or thongs. Oh, I love that. There's multiple ways to get around laces. That's wild. I've tried everything. When you want to do some sort of physical activity, like exercise, what shoe do you use for that? Thongs.

Thongs. Thong. Obviously. Pluggers. He's doing the pluggers. Wow, that's funny. That would get you into a lot of strife because you've got to put shoes on every day. We're going to need to get Josh and Ducko in some sort of class. Yeah, yeah.

Just want to know, Josh, are you left-handed by any chance? No, right, mate. Okay. I thought it might be a lefty thing, but no. I mean, I just want to go for the record. I can put a lace on. I just, there's a lot of knots. You basically flatten the laces.

A lot of knots. I'll be so bad at doing, like, my daughter's hair when that time comes. I know I'll be horrible at that. My wife's already said, my wife's already said, like, I'm going to be bad at putting the baby in a little burrito, making her a little... Oh, the swaddle. Yeah. The swaddle.

I'll be horrible at that. But you like Mexican food. I reckon you'll get it. You'll get it. I'll try. Christine, good morning. Good morning. How old are you? And what can't you do?

I'm 28 and I really struggle with north, south, east, west. I've got to say never eat soggy Weet-Bix and it takes me about a minute to work out what's what. How often is that coming up in conversation? Quite a bit. Are you in the Navy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do? How does it come up in the Navy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, what do you do? How does it come up in everyday conversation?

Oh, well, we're just playing. There's a few board games that you've got to do it with, and it takes me too long to work it out. Never eat soggy Weet-Bix. We're not judging. It still works. You know what? Christine's just brought up board games.

Bronnie texted us, I'm 54, and I can't comprehend board game instructions. I have to be shown how to play. I can't just read about how you're meant to play. So it all fits. I get that one. And we're used to seeing people how to do it now. Imagine you and Chrissy on a trip though.

One of you is trying to read an analogue clock. Walking in the wrong direction, not knowing the time. Check it out, don't forget. Turn it up. Jess and Dunco in the morning. Apple box. Jess and Dunco's 10 morning. Alpha Bucks. Jess and Dunco's 10K Alpha Bucks on hit.

30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000. But you know that, don't you, Lee? Good morning.

Morning. Lee, Lee, Lee. How are you feeling for a Monday? Are you ready to win $10,000, but you know that, don't you, Lee? Good morning. Morning. Lee, Lee, Lee. How are you feeling for a Monday? Are you ready to win $10,000? I would love to win $10,000, but very nervous and very sleepy. Oh, don't be sleepy, Lee. We've got to wake you up. I know.

What do we need to do? A little metaphorical slap on the face. What do you need? What do you need, Lee? I need a shot of coffee. We need to go on a cruise and maybe upgrade our room. Oh, yeah. Cruise would be nice.

All right. Well, however it goes after this, we'll send you back to Babs. She's our cruise correspondent. She's the cruise lady. Oh, she loves a good cruise, Babsy. No worries. She's more of a fan of a naked cruise, Lee. She's a fan of the room with the no windows. Yeah, how do you feel about that?

Yeah, no, I've seen that advertised the other day, but I haven't mentioned that to my partner. Maybe don't tell them, just book it. And then you can rock them and go, what's this? And at the gangplank or boardwalk, whatever that thing is called, where you get on. Disrobe, honey. Here we go. Well, gangplank is what the pirates use, isn't it? To get off

the boat. Whatever the reverse one is. Lee, one thing stands between you and an upgraded cruise experience. It's my personal favourite letter. It's J. J. J.

J for Jess. Okay. All right. No worries. Okay. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter J, we need you to name something you drink. Juice.

An island. Pass. A sport. Jogging. something you drink. Animal. Jaguar. An occupation. Jockey. A movie. Demonte. A gemstone. Shade. An island. Jamaica.

Now, okay, you got through there. You got through all ten. But a couple of question marks. A perfume brand, Jag. I don't know it. We'll have to check that out because I know Jag is a brand. I don't know if it's a perfume to check that out because I know Jag is a brand. Secondly, is jogging a sport?

This is, I mean, I'm happy to give that as a sport or is it an activity? Oh, see, I think it's an activity. It's an exercise. I need to look that. Jag, okay, so Jag is not a perfume brand. The jogging one, I probably would have went towards giving it. I don't think I could have been the Grinch not doing that unless I could find a proper definition.

But Jag isn't a perfume brand. Jag is a clothing brand. What's the difference between a sport versus an activity versus an exercise? We will go if jogging is a sport. I'd actually like to know the answer to that because I was thinking this when we were going through them. Would running be a sport? Yeah. But jogging is the exercise. In 30 seconds, jogging's a sport.

I'm with you, Lee. I'm with you, Leigh. We get you. You were fantastic. It meant you either got 9 out of 10 or 8 out of 10. Everything else you answered, you did get correct. You came home with a wet sail. You don't go empty-handed either. You get $100 suspended and a condor. That is all yours. Thank you for playing. You were great.

I do want to know about the jogging thing. It says exercise. It's a sport itself. If you had said Jaguar, we could have given that as a perfume, but Jag, no. Oh, back to perfume. Yeah, so eight. You were very good, Lee. You were great, Lee.

Amazing. Well done. Thank you. And I love when people are already going on their holiday. Yeah. That she was looking for an upgrade. It doesn't feel as bad. It doesn't feel as bad.

Like you can't now do that special thing. You have a great time on the nude cruise, Lee. You enjoy it. Thank you. Love your work. Do play again tomorrow, 6.30 and 8 for $10,000. Jess and Ducko. Had a real moment, Ducko.

On the weekend, you and I both were in attendance. Howland Country Music Festival. Yeehaw. Unbelievable, unbelievable vibe. The amount of yeehaws I let out. Oh, I know. So many yeehaws. I've never worn a cowboy hat in my life, and I think it might be part of my repertoire

moving forward. I felt and looked fantastic. It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Good vibe, good energy, great people there. And just off the back of last week, where I shared with you how I was feeling a little bit on the outs with some of my girlfriends. Yeah, yeah.

I wanted- Tali, what were we calling her? Yeah, Corley, Bylar, and Mophie. Because I saw that Corley was there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, calling her again? Yeah, Corley, Bylar and Mophie. Because I saw that Corley was there. Yeah, yeah. So was Bylar and so was Mophie. They were all there. They were all there.

And no one has addressed the conversation about the Bananagrams saga, Bananagate. Yeah, yeah, of course. But just off the back of that conversation where I have been feeling a little bit on the outs with my girlfriends, for anyone who missed it, I've tried to organise a few things with some different groups of people and given them windows of availability because I have a one-year-old. So I've said, I can do between 60 and 90 minutes on this day at this time.

Would you like to join? And shock horror, sometimes I don't even get a response and more often than not, the answer is, nah, I can't make that work. So I felt a little bit disconnected. However, I had a real moment on Saturday where, again, I was with a group of girls, three to be precise. There was the four of us and then Lucia in tow as well,

supporting live music, trying to support festivals. My husband was involved, so we had to, we were going to go. We were making it work. But you're at a festival. You want to suss out everything. I thought, ladies, should we take a lap? Yeah, do a whole lot. You. But you're at a festival. You want to suss out everything. I thought, ladies, should we take a lap? Yeah, do a whole lot. You want to see, yeah, everything.

You want to see everything. There were stages. There was lots of food trucks. Great food. Lots of vibe out there. Great food. There was a bucking bull. There was, oh, it was a whole thing.

Jumping castle. I was just riding that. If you looked over the bull, I was on it the whole time. Which I was nervous for you because that shoulder, dislocating, but you had that arm up in the air. God, people can't last very long on the bull. I didn't have a go, but my God, like seconds we're talking. Was that hard? I mean.

So I'm doing a lap with my ladies, and I've got Lucia in my arms because she's a runner, and I don't have the backpack with the leash, so I'm holding her. That's what you needed. I know. As soon as we got there, I went, crap. The lead would have been great. I need the lead.

But anyway, holding her, got the nappy bag over one shoulder. I've got a cowboy hat. Lucia has a cowboy hat. It's 12,000 people, a little bit of a breeze. So the hat keeps flying off. The bag keeps slipping over my shoulder. She's wiggling in and out of my arms, wants to be put down, wants to be picked back up.

It's hot. It's awkward. It's all things happening. And I had this moment where my girlfriends kept, you know, not having to stop for me but essentially wait for me. Because they were kidless. They're kidless. They were drinking.

They were having a good time. Totally. And I just had this moment of this is why I do things on my own because I feel so guilty holding people up. This is the whole window theory again. They all have kids that'd be different, but when they don't, it's tough. Exactly. They're literally trailing me around this amazing festival where they could be off seeing

an act, lining up for the food they want, getting a drink. And I had this moment of, I'm never doing this again. I will just do things with my daughter to eliminate being a nuisance to anyone. But in the same breath, Ducco, one of the girls scoops up and picks up the hat. Another girl scoops and takes the bag off my shoulder. Another one goes, oh, go get us the drinks. You guys wait here.

Another one offers to take Lucia out of my arms. And in the same breath that I was regretting inviting the girls with me because I felt like a nuisance, I went, you know what, without them, I wouldn't be able to have a good time at all. I wouldn't be able to do things like this without these girlfriends having my back, stepping up when I needed them to. Hey, well, we hated them last week.

Yeah, but that was because we couldn't play Bananagrams. Whereas this week, in the moment, I went, yeah, the girls! Yeah, we're back, baby. And I just felt so guilty for ever having thought about it. For bitching about them on the radio? Nah, don't. Well, that and for feeling guilty about, oh, I should just remove myself from the equation. Yeah, right. Because I'm the annoying one.

Yeah, yeah. You remember how I feel about that word annoying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had the same breath they just lifted when I needed them to without having to ask. They didn't care, yeah. I had a margarita in one hand. I had the baby in the other.

She's trying to reach for it, so one of the girls scooped her out so I could enjoy my margarita. Yeah. And I just went, yes, this is good to have people around you who get it, who care, who don't need to be asked. Yeah. So thank you, ladies. Yeah, the girls.

They got around you. They got around me when I needed them to, so we can enjoy, you know. I suppose baby at a festival is not the first thing you think of. It's probably not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have to drill into that sort of thing. No, no, no, no. All the margarita.

They were there when you needed them. They were there when I needed them. So, yeah, the girls. We're back. Banana Graham's 2 p.m. today, girls. I love you again. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

I get the great privilege of being a best man and MC at my friend's wedding. Look. Privilege. I'm so privileged. I've never met someone who is so used by their mates. Absolutely used. Used for my skill set. I understand you have skills.

Yeah. But you have been best man, MC, co-order. I've MC'd, I think this will be my eighth wedding. You've planned box parties on your own, even though the bridal party you're a part of is like age deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If anything, sometimes the bigger the groomsman party, the harder it is to plan.

It'd be easier if it's two or three. Wrangling cats. Because there's more accountability. When there's six or seven, it's just ridiculous. I've never been best man at MC. I've been MC in groomsmen a few times. Oh, is this the first time best man at MC? Because being best man at MC at this wedding, it's coming up this weekend.

It's in Toowoomba, which is about an hour and a half outside of Brisbane. So we've got to go to Brisbane, then we've got to go to Toowoomba. I'm in Queensland. I need to introduce, I come up, I introduce the wedding, then I go outside, introduce myself in the bridal party, and then the rest of the bridal party in. You're going to walk in as you're introducing?

It's me who's talking, I'm in the party. I have to. You saw me standing up at the ceremony. Before I do my speech, I've got to introduce myself to do my speech to then do my best man speech. At a separate time. And I tried to do my best man speech. Oh, my God. It's so weird. At a separate time. And I tried to do the best man speech earlier in the night when I start my MCing, but they're doing a wedding venue.

The wedding venue is very like, no, no, keep it structured. Keep it normal. You need to keep everything in order kind of thing. Yeah, you might want it in an order, but I'm doing all the jobs. Oh, I know. So why shouldn't I just get mine out at the top? Eight pages I have of stuff I'm doing in terms of all my MC stuff to the speech. And the speech is only a page and a half.

So, because I'm like keeping my speech really tall. How much housekeeping is there to do? Well, like, I mean, I've got a few things planned. Like, I'm going a bit above and beyond. I won't say too much in case any of them are listening. However, what I will say, which is what I need the team's advice slash help on, okay, is attire. So, it's black tie.

Easy for the blokes. They all wear tuxes. And you're in the bridal party. Aren't you told what to wear? Tux. Okay, you can just wear a tux. We've had a few mates' weddings. We're all groomsmen.

Everyone has a tux. Everyone has a generic tux. We all wear it. It looks pretty much the same. Sure. However, I am in the market for a new tux, and I thought this is a great time to get a new tux. I wanted to go get a new tux.

Do a little refresh. Do a little refresh. Got a new tux, and I really wanted to get a new tux. Do a little refresh. Do a little refresh. Got a new tux, and I really wanted to get a felt tux. So not like a normal. I know you mean velvet. Velvet. Oh, thank you so much. I do that every time.

Because the fact that you said felt sounds like you went to Spotlight and did arts and crafts. Oh, my God. Thank you so much. I do that every time. Thank you, because Shotgun's not even going. Felt. Yeah, I get that. No.

He knew I meant velvet. If you asked for felt, yes. I'm such an idiot. I do that every time. That's all right, velvet. Velvet, you get me. It shows how much you love fashion. Exactly. Yeah, I get that. No. He knew I meant velvet. If you asked for felt, yes. I'm such an idiot. I do it every time. That's all right, velvet. Velvet, you get me. It shows how much you love fashion. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've worn the velvet tux once at an event we did. We hired the suit. I know the suit people, people at Rundles, great people. And I was like, I want to buy one of these. I want one of these on my own. I want this in my closet. Got it.

Got it tailored. Got it styled. I'm wearing it for them. I'll show you a photo, right? Looks fantastic. It looks very good. I'm all excited. I'm in a show you a photo, right? Looks fantastic. It looks very good. I'm all excited. I'm in a boy in a suit.

And then I tell them. What's your passcode? I closed it. I'm sure you look fantastic. My fat thumb slipped. I'm sorry. I literally tell them that I'm wearing this velvet suit. This is very dapper.

Yeah, it's very good. This is very nice. And then. Don't call it a velvet suit because it sounds like your pants are also velvet. My issue is right. When I told this to Bronwyn and Andrew from the suit, they said to me, are all the other groomsmen in velvet? And I said, no, it's just me.

And they were like, this is going to... You're going to stand out here. You're going to be peacocking. And I said, well, I'm the best man and the frigging MC. You want to give me 45 jobs? You want me to work hard? I'm going to wear what I want to wear. I'm going to wear whatocking. And I said, well, I'm the best man and the frigging MC. You want to give me 45 jobs? You want me to work hard? I'm going to wear what I want to wear. I'm going to wear what I want to wear.

Question to the team. You've seen it. Is it going to be okay? Can I get away with it? Can I hit you back with a question? Yeah. You're not asking for permission from the bride and groom, are you? Well.

Because the fact you're avoiding asking for permission. Shows that it's bad. Shows that you know you're going to get a no, which shows that you know it is a problem. Here's how the plot thickens. And I do not want to enable anyone going against a bride and groom on their wedding day. Here's how. I mean, they're making me do so many jobs. I understand.

I'm so busy. I understand. It's practically my wedding day. Like, I am busier than my mate. My mate knows less about what's going on than I do. I understand. Okay. So I messaged them in a group. So my mate. My mate knows less about what's going on than I do. I understand. Okay, so I messaged them in a group. So my mate and his

wife, with Morgan, I sent them a photo. I said, guys, I bought a new suit for your wedding. Here's a thing though, like, velvet, just the jacket. I was like, it's the same colour black. It'll look the fine in photos, just up close looks a bit different. My mate replies straight away. It's like, that's unreal. Definitely wear that. That's awesome. Then he goes,

actually, Em, can he wear that? It's up, that's unreal. Definitely wear that. That's awesome. Then he goes, actually, Em, can he wear that? It's up to you. He's gone in too fast before confirming with the bride. She never replied. Zero response. Yeah, she never replied to the group, but she is furiously texting her fiancé going, he's your mate. You have to be the one to tell him.

Then she sent me a text this morning. She sent me a text this morning, and she's like, can we jump on a call this week? Oh, I'm in trouble. There's a few things I want to run you by. But I bought the suit. It's mine now. There's nothing I can do about it. You have a jacket.

I do. But if I bring it, then I'm going to wear that. I want to. Could you alternate? Can you just wear the normal tux for the ceremony? Oh, yeah. See, you've got the velvet on. Yes, costume change. Because the black of the pants is different to the black of the normal tux for the ceremony. Oh, yeah. See, you've got the velvet on. Yes, costume change.

Because the black of the pants is different to the black of the normal tux. So the two blacks would look different. Do you know what I mean? Oh, during the ceremony. Yes, because I did run out by them. My issue is for the bride, the wedding is one day, but the photo and the videos last forever. I know.

And every time the eye is going to be drawn not to her, not to her husband, but to something's different about that guy. What's happening here? Focus will be drawn and it is one rule of weddings. You do not draw focus away from the bride or the groom. I've also got a moustache that I'm growing for it too. Are you keeping that for the wedding? Maybe that's what the phone call is about.

Jess and Daco. 13, 10, 60. I can't believe I survived that. Have you had a moment where you've walked away and gone, oh, I am lucky to be here still. Yeah. This story took the internet by storm over the weekend, Daco. It was all over Chilean TV.

Oh, Chile. But it's obviously made international news. Yep. Off the coast of Punta Arenas. Of course. In southern Chile, a man named Adrian and his father, Del. They're kayaking. Nice father-son activity.

Yeah. Del, the dad, has a GoPro filming Adrian on these calm waters. Filming his son kayak. Filming his son. Beautiful moment. When all of a sudden, this is no word of a lie, the footage is unbelievable. The gigantic mouth of a humpback whale opens up around Adrian the son, swallowing him and the kayak.

He literally just opens it, swallows him whole, and then spits him back out. Spits him back out. You can hear in the GoPro footage the literally just opens it, swallows him whole, and then spits him back out. And then spits him back out. You can hear in the GoPro footage the father just panicking. Not being in a cave. But seconds later, he resurfaces and dad's going, stay calm, stay calm. Use your kayak as a raft. It's okay. We'll get back to shore.

Obviously, the footage has gone viral. Because you can see him get swallowed, then get spat back out. Because there's no sign of the whale prior. It's literally like he's come up from underneath and then swallowed him. It's not like there were ripples around. The water looks relatively calm. It does, yeah. But Adrian obviously has sat down with Chilean TV.

Thankfully, his English is fantastic. Yeah. Listen to how he describes what he thought was going on. I guess I was inside something's mouth, but I didn't know it was a whale. I felt a slimy texture in my cheek, and then it shot down on me and took me underwater. At first I thought that I would die because there's nothing I can do if I'm inside the mouth of a giant fish. But yeah, it was a whale so I didn't have enough time to realise that I was not in danger. If the whale had hit me, it would be more dangerous.

He's saying if the whale had hit him, he probably would have died because he swallowed him, ate him, and then spat him back out. He actually walks away, or at least kayaked away, unscathed. I think the whale thought it was a fish or something. He went, oh, I've actually got a bit of plastic and a human being. Not interested in you. How dangerous are humpback whales? Obviously, their size makes them dangerous, but I didn't think they attacked people.

No. But what do I know? Obviously, they didn't mean to. What do I know? I felt it slimy. I was in there. It all happened so fast. Wow.

And imagine from the dad's perspective, watching your son get eaten by a whale. Oh. Unbelievable. I cannot believe I survived that. Or did a whale swallow you? It's very niche. Can we – we've asked for have you popped a boob? So I'm happy to ask have you been swallowed by a whale as well?

Or I cannot believe I survived that. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I can't believe we survived that. You walked away from something, shaking your head, maybe looking up to the heavens thinking, I could have died. Wasn't my day today.

Yeah. I survived that. Like Adrian. He's a young Chilean man who was kayaking with his father, Del, off the coast of Punta Arenas in southern Chile. Punta Arenas. When the father's GoPro captured the moment, a humpback whale ate Adrian. Ridiculous.

Literally the mouth, the giant mouth of this creature has opened and closed around him. Seconds later, spitting him out, which to me suggests the humpback whale went, oh, that's not what I want. I've just Googled humpback whale eat. Small, that's not what I want. I've just googled humpback whale eat small crustaceans, mostly krill. So to mix up a man on a kayak, obviously... Massive difference. How's he thinking the krill is the man on a kayak, though? Are they

blind? I don't know. He is lucky, one, the whale didn't actually hit him, or two, swallowed him. He just in and spat back out. Adrian's obviously been around TV and news broadcasts. He's like, I can't. He said for life, there'll be a Netflix show on it soon. Oh, I love that.

It's a modern day Moby Dick. He is. He really is. Shorter story because there's only seconds inside the mouth. I think Moby ended up living in there for a bit. Is Moby the whale? Moby's not the guy in the whale. Isn't Dick the whale?

I think you're right. Dick's the whale. Yeah, Moby's the, yeah. Unbelievable. Unbelievable story. We go to Shalane. Good morning. Hi, good morning. I can't

believe I survived that. Is it a story from your partner, is it? Yes, it was my partner. He was on his way to work and coming around the bend and a logging truck fell on his car. A logging truck, as though it's tipped over?

Yes, yep, fully tipped over, squashed the car, and he just got, like, a graze on his eyebrow and a couple cracked ribs. Oh, my God. How does that happen if it squashed the entire car? Yes, completely. Oh, that's crazy. I'm picturing him in, like, you know, he's been crushed basically with the logs the size of the truck and he's walked away with a graze

and a broken rib. I mean, I know that's not fun, but compared to what it could have been. How does he go now driving near trucks? Oh, he hates it. Yeah, I bet. Fair enough. He'd never want to again. Terrifying.

That's crazy. Not his time. Not his time. Not ready to go. Good friend of the show, Skanza. Good morning. Good morning. You can't believe you survived it.

Yep. So I was on safari in Sri Lanka. So just picture looking out the back of a four-wheel drive, looking at a stunning herd of elephants, probably about 30 or 40 elephants. Everything is going perfectly well. And the car is switched off. And out of nowhere, the driver jumps or 40 elephants. Everything is going perfectly well and the car is switched off and out of nowhere the driver jumps in, switches the engine on and

takes off like a bat out of proverbial, you know. A bat out of hell, yes. And we all realize that there's an elephant charging towards us. Now for those who don't know, an elephant can hit a speed of about 35 kilometers an hour.

Very, very quickly. Yeah, they're very fast. And they're very stealthy, which is weird for an elephant because they weigh three and a half kilos. Three and a half, sorry. A bit more than that, but yes. I get it. My apologies, yeah. And next thing we know, yeah, this elephant's right on our tail. And a little bit of a less observant driver would have resulted in a very different situation.

Oh, my God. He would have stampeded over the truck, over the car. My goodness. Yeah, the car's gone go-kroo as well, actually, funnily enough. Wow. That's crazy. Survived an elephant stampede. I mean.

He didn't want you on his turf that day. I didn't think elephants were so agile. I didn't think so either. And they moved at such speeds. Yeah. That's a lot of heft to move around. Yeah. Between whales, elephants, logging trucks.

Yeah. I mean, I can't believe we're all still here. It's good to be here. It's amazing. Thank you for those. Carpe diem. Jess and Ducko. Yo, what up?

This your Dirty Nelly, aye? Oh. It's getting Dirty Nelly? It's Your Dirty Nelly. Hello, Dirty Nelly. Grills. He would be amazing live. And lucky for you, we have five double passes to give away across the week. So it's a go for it.

Go for it. Call of Fame of the Day. Plus accommodation. Oh, yeah. Don't you be thinking we're ever just going to give you across the week. So it's a co-fod. Co-fod. Call of Fame of the day. Plus accommodation. Oh, yeah. Don't you be thinking we're ever just going to give you tickets. Hell no. And not give you somewhere to rest your head. We've got to do that.

I don't imagine you'll be sleeping after seeing Nelly, though. Oh, no. You'll be bumping and grinding. Oh, yeah. And just reminiscing. Oh, yeah. Going through all the dilemmas. Hot and sweaty.

And maybe try to source some grills. Yeah. Maybe get Microsoft Excel and sending messages to people. Absolutely you will. That's a deep cut. A real Nelly fan. That's a real reference. Yeah, yeah. Thank getting Microsoft Excel and sending messages to people. Absolutely you will. That's a deep cut. A real Nellifan. That's a real reference, yeah, yeah. Thank you for the contributions today, from what happened to your butt,

to I survived that, to how old are you? And what can't you do? And what can't you do? Where we met, sweet Josh. Joshy, Joshy, Joshy. Joshua. Told us this. Ah, there you are.

Can't tie my shoes. Too late. Ducko was just sharing. I was just tie my shoes. Too late. Ducko was just sharing. I was just talking about I feel like I can Safe space baby. I can tie them Josh but I do like 45 knots

and I know it's not right. Can you not even be one? There's no bow which is not. No I can't. I can't even do it at all. My wife does it. If not I just buy zip up boots

wear Ugg boots or thong. Oh I love that. There's multiple ways to get around laces. That's wild. I've tried everything. Well, I've got boots all the time. Oh, I love that. There's multiple ways to get around laces. That's right. I've tried everything. I love it. Confirming that if he does want to go for a run, just wears pluggers.

Joshy. Just wears thongs. Joshy, you there? Yeah, guys. How are you? Hey, Josh. We're so good. Get your wife to tie your shoes.

You're going to Nelly. Hi. Awesome. Thank you so much. You're welcome. What's your favourite Nelly song, Josh? You like a bit of heart and hair. Probably the one with Tim McGraw.

Tim McGraw. Oh, hello, country boy. What a mash-up. Nelly and Tim. Now, that's fine. The one we probably don't have, though. I don't think I've got that in my system. That's okay.

This is a real fan we have here. Yeah, you're a real fan. Real fan. You get to go see Nelly, mate. Now, what kind of shoes are you going to wear to see Nellie? Look, I might go all out and buy some shoes and attempt a time, but if not, the wife's always there. Hey, she's always for you. This is love.

She's got you covered. That's right. This is why they say my better half, you know? Don't wear your thongs to the Horton Pavilion. I reckon they might have some sort of dress code with your dogs being out. Oh, hello, Babs, with an assist here. Yeah, Vans apparently sell Velcro shoes. There you go, Josh.

If you need, Joshy. Right. I'll have to have a look. You know what they say, laces are for losers. It's a modern goodbye. Thank you for getting involved in the show, Josh. No worries. Thanks, guys.

Enjoy the concert. Now, we've got that every single day this week. I thought you were going to say, we've got that Tim McGraw song. No, we don't. No, guys. Enjoy the concert. Now, we've got that every single day this week. I thought you were going to say, we've got that Tim McGraw song. No, we don't. No, we don't? Okay. Long and hard to do that one. But still, there's so many Nelly songs.

That's the thing. You can't have them all. You can't have them all, but you can have them all at his gig. Oh, yeah. You get involved in the show. Before I leave you, Ducker, we got a text on 048881069, the same conversation we met, Josh. Rihanna said, I'm 29, and I can't tell the time on a clock either. Oh, there you go.

You're people. Imagine you and Rihanna. I think we need to look at the curriculum in schools because it's failing a lot of us kids. I do remember being taught Analog Time. The small hand and the big hand. Yeah, yeah. I think I remember those classes. Well, we need to.

We need to improve that curriculum. You know what taught me? It was the TikTok biscuits. How good are TikTok biscuits? They were the ones that taught you how to clock on the back. Don't give me a hankering for a TikTok now. Oh need to improve that curriculum. You know what taught me? It was the TikTok biscuits. How good are TikTok biscuits? They were the ones that had the clock on the back. Don't give me a hankering for a TikTok now. Oh, that was so good. And what about those candy watches where you can eat the bracelet and then the watch face?

Oh, that was great. See, the problem is you keep eating the face before. That's why you can never learn it. That's why. What time is that? I don't know. There's a couple of bite marks. You're like a dog that's food obsessed that can be easy to train.

Like, what your mum should have done. I have lost dog. Your mum, as a kid, she'd be like, Jess, sit. What time is it? Ah, you can't have the biscuit until you tell me what's the time on the TikTok. My parents coming up this week. There you go. Hey! Tell them to try that. You want to come over for a wee spa? My mum would love to see you.

Oh, you're away this week. I'm away this week. I've got the wedding. I'm wearing my suit. Oh, she's going to be devastated. Yeah, I'm away. I'll have to have TikToks just to myself. Get her to film you sitting and shaking, though. I'll have to have TikToks just to myself. Yeah, I heard a film you sitting and shaking, though. I would like to see it. Hey, we're out of here now. We're done.

If you missed the show, grab it on Listener or wherever you get your podcasts. We're back tomorrow. It's Tuesday, which is a great day. It is a great day. Year of the Song. Oh, Yodas. Yodas. We've got 10K alpha bucks.

We've got more Kofods to see Nelly. Absolutely. It's all happening. Hey, I never told you about my idea for the baby shower. I'll tell you tomorrow. That's tomorrow. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. Yeah, yeah.

I think you'll be so into it, Ducco. You'll wonder why you didn't plan it yourself. Do you reckon my wife will be into it? Oh, absolutely. I've never heard of an idea that's better suited to you two. Okay, I look forward to it. I'm missing energy. Oh, God.

That's all tomorrow. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. You had a boil Oh, God. That's all for tomorrow. We'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. Had a boil on me butt. Boil on my butt. Got infected. Jess and Ducco.

That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Macca's Fiery News Spicy Chicken McRap is even more reason for a Macca's Run.