Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | What have you got my sex machine for?

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

A rice cooker sent us a DM with an unbelievable story of, Ducko became a hero overnight, Jess got to the root of why her husband doesn't like to play board games and we ask what were you doing when your water broke?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. OMG. T's and C's apply. Jess and Ducco. This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. It's Jess and Ducco. Welcome to the podcast, everybody. Now, you are so very welcome to always, anytime, get in touch with the show.

We've got the phone number 13 10 60. We've got the text line. 0488881069. We're also all across socials. Yes. Look, there's not too much going on on TikTok because none of us know how to work it. No, we're not big on that. But Instagram's our jam.

Instagram's our jam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we received a DM, Ducko. Do we have a Facebook just quietly? I don't think so. I don't think we do. No. No, no.

And certainly not like a Jess and Ducko one. Yes, yes. All the stations, I think. But we received a DM yesterday, Ducko, and I went, oh, my goodness, we need to dig deeper. Sally got in touch with the show. She said, hey, guys, here's a funny story. We have an op shop in a reasonably small town.

Now, Sally goes on to say, please don't say specifically. Okay, where and what? Because it's a very small town, I'm assuming it might be the only op shop. Okay. Someone has donated something very interesting. People will often clean out maybe a dead relative's home. They'll split up the goods amongst the family, but anything left over usually ends up on the doorstop of the op shop. Sally has said, who the hell has cleaned out

Aunt Beryl's house after she's passed away and donated her sex machine slash torture device. You've sent me photos of this now. I've sent you the photos that Sally sent us. It looks like, okay, the first thing it looks like in Game of Thrones is where they get their heads chopped off. They put their heads and their hands through.

The guillotine. Yeah, their head and their wrists through. Yes. And that's where they're trapped. That's at the start. Yes. Like in the town square when they want to shame the person. Yeah, they put their hands and their heads through. You're right. And then it's like. Yes. Then it's like. Like in the town square when they want to shame the person. Yes.

Yeah, they put their hands and their head through. You're right. And then it's like a full, it looks almost like a single bed frame with just the beams going across with leather straps. And chains. Chains. Onto a carabiner. My first thought was, you know, reformer Pilates beds.

Yeah. How you can hook your legs through and you do the leg workout. Yeah. But this looks like. I don't think this thing's getting you fit. I think this is getting you. But how's the rotation device where you can crank the chain. And you can spin it.

It's obviously to tighten. You strap the legs in and you tighten that while the heads and the hands are through the holes. It's unbelievable. And Sally, I messaged Sally back and I went, Sally, what is going on here? She goes, I'd love to talk about it further. So let's go to Sally. She joins us.

She joins us now. Sally, thanks for your time, girlfriend. My absolute pleasure. I think you've looked at those photos very, very carefully. I'm very proud of you guys. We've zoomed in, Sally. We've zoomed in. But obviously we're only seeing the four pictures you sent through.

You saw this thing in real life. Yeah. Did you come to the shop one day to open up and this was just dumped on your front step or something? It was outside and, yeah, it was. Didn't say, like, use it like I did. Regards. Use it like a barrel.

Yeah, yeah, barrel had a good go. It's gigantic, Sally. Like, someone's obviously had to get, I don't even know if that's fitting on a normal ute. Like that's a moving van situation. It looks like it, doesn't it? And I love the fact that you've zoomed in and say carabiner. Is that what you said?

Yeah, I think that's what I was going to say. I think my husband will be right. Yeah. Now, Sally, so this was just up there one morning. You came to work. You came and then you're like, what the hell is this thing? Have you guys taken it in? Do you take something like this in to sell?

And what do you price it at? We had a look at it and thought, no, we can't sell it. That is a little bit too personal. And some of the things that we do get donated occasionally are too a little bit personal. Like what other things from Aunt Beryl's maybe bedside drawer have been donated, Sally? What have you seen? I don't know whether you know what a rabbit is.

And I'm sure it was in a box unused, Sally. It was mint condition? Of course not. They're giving you their secondhand vibrators. Yes, they are. They are. Isn't that kind? Isn't that kind?

They thought, well, I don't have a use for it anymore. Maybe because is your op shop like charity affiliated or something? Are they thinking? Not religiously so, but charity for the town. For the town? Yes. They're thinking if this vibrator can earn 15 bucks at the op shop, that will be done. Put it to a good home.

Maybe they've got all I need out of it and they're going to give it away. Aunt Beryl doesn't need it in the grave, does she? No, that's exactly right. I think they're damn kind and I really, really appreciate everything they do, you know, and in memory of Aunt Beryl. Yeah, that's right. We should have a bit of a demo for this one. What do you think?

Well, I want to know what you've done with it and how we can get it to our studio. A lot of hearing is always taken at home. Can we get here at the Jess and Ducko HQ and we can just have it? We can have it sitting around. Oh, that would be so cool, wouldn't it? I mean, someone's got to give it a go and it may as well be Shy Guy. He's the tallest and longest.

I would love to actually send Shy Guy and I'll try him out on it and make sure it fits. Oh, you bring Shy Guy to the bed. Sally will give Shy Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll strap on in. Who's here right now, Shy Guy? Thoughts on bed. Sally will give Shy Guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sally wants Shy Guy. Strap on in. Who's here right now, Shy Guy? Thoughts on that?

We're not going to be able to store this thing. Oh, so what you're saying is you will make the trip. Yeah, yeah. You'll go see Sally. It's easier to transport you than it is to transport the device. I don't think it is. I've got a ute. Will it fit in my ute?

Definitely we will make it fit. So, Sally, where is it right now, this sex machine torture device? Actually in the beer garden of a pub. That makes sense. Does it still have the chains and the leathers on it or have they made it just bench seating? No, no, it's on full display. Did you know the pub owner and he thought, oh, they thought,

that's so funny, I want to put this in my pub? Yeah, pretty much. That's so funny. But I love the idea and I appreciate, Sally, you wanted to remain a little bit anonymous because it's a relatively small town. Yeah. But whoever donated that might, one, go to that pub,

but two, like, has to look you in the eye now and go, I know I've just created this huge burden for Sally. Yeah, yeah. So funny. Like, surely they rock into the pub and go, what have you got my sex machine for? They know how to use it. They're the only one.

But you're using it wrong. You're upside down. It's meant to be the other way around. I mean, we probably do need some edumacation about it. We need some edumacation. We do. And, yeah, how do we use it? What do we do?

Sally, do you mind if we post your pictures on our story and then ask, does anyone know the origins of this? Yeah, it's torture. I would love that. Maybe we need a historian. Yeah. I'm thinking, you know, I've got a bit of a bad back. You know, maybe it could help my bad back.

It looks a bit chiropractic, doesn't it? You know what I think? This is a custom build. I've not seen it could help my bad back. It looks a bit chiropractic, doesn't it? You know what I think? This is a custom build. I've not seen one of these in the stores. And you know your devices. Absolutely. This is a custom build, Sally. You know what it might be, Sally? And this could be great for our friend, Ducko. Don't worry

about sending Shaga. We'll send Ducko. What if you strap both? I'll send them both. I'll send you both of them, Sally. Ducko, you know what it's giving now that I'm looking at it? Do you want to lengthen me? Yeah, that's what you're going to say, isn't it? It is.

If you hold on, because see those extra bit of chain? Yeah. If you hold on to those with your arms and then I strap your feet or Sally straps your feet in and then we crank you, I reckon it'd stretch you out. And did you give it a crank, Sal? Like, does it actually work still? I can neither confirm nor deny.

Oh, Sally had a go. Sally had a go. Sally messaged her husband and went, hey, you won't believe this. Bring the ute. Oh, my. I'm coming home with something from the shop. My bad. I just put the photos you sent us, Sally, into chatGBT and said, what's this?

It said, it says this appears to be a custom-built medieval-style torture device or replica. And then it listed all the elements on it that we listed. And then I questioned it. I said, is it sexual in any way? And it said, some may associate the design of this with BDSM or fetish aesthetics. When I handcuff my husband to the four-poster bed and tie his legs up, this is essentially the same thing. But this is completely different. You know, this one just doesn't have the fuzzy handcuffs.

What I'm hearing, Sally, is you should have taken this to Antiques Roadshow. Because you could have gone on Antiques Roadshow and you could have had some old white guy be like, Sally, this is actually worth a fortune. Sally, we're going to need to get it back from the pub. Is it finders keepers? It's yours, right? Like, it's just on loan to the pub. Yes.

All right, shy guy, put in an email to Antiques Roadshow. Next time they're down under, wink, wink. We're going to need a flatbed truck. We're going to need to send Antiques Roadshow to Sally. We'll get a bed to Antiques Roadshow. Unbelievable work from you. Well, Sally, thank you so much for reaching out to the show. I love the idea, Sal.

Did you see this and went, I've got to tell my mates, Jess and Ducko? Of course. Of course. We appreciate it, Sally. This is right up our alley. Oh, we love that. Shy Guy and I can't wait to come and get our backs fixed from you. Road trip, baby.

I look forward to seeing you. Oh, legend. Thank you, Sally. Thanks, guys. We will. It just shows you can get involved any time. Any time. Phone, text, Instagram.

Instagram photos. Don't DM us on TikTok. I don't know how to check that inbox. Yeah, we'll do it there. But, jeez, this has made my day. Isn't that fantastic? It looks long, though. Like, the logistics of this are a bit.

Or is it a two-for-one? Like, one person goes through the head hole, one's rolled over the back thing. Oh, is it top to tail? I feel like all of us could be on it at once. Oh, yeah. You could like getting Babs on there. Babs, come on. No.

Do you love the idea, though? You know, like when people want to dump hard rubbish. Even though it's an allocated day of the month or whatever, it still feels like you're littering. Yeah. You still feel really yucky. I know when my husband wants to put a desk out, like, free to a good home, does it under the cover of darkness?

Yeah. Because it just feels. You feel a bit weird. You feel a bit weird. Can you imagine trying to drive that thing at 1am, being like looking around, unload it, unload it. Get loud, get loud now. And how's that phone call from the mate,

the guy who owns it, being like, hey, Ducco, I need your help. What are you moving house? You need to lift to the airport? No. No. I need you to help me drop me sex machine. Sex toy. Giant sex toy.

You know that custom made sex toy I built years ago? No. Can you just come over and help me move this? Jess and Ducko in the morning. Welcome to it, team. Welcome to Wednesday. Wow. Feels nice to say Wednesday already. Because it has that Tuesday vibe in there. Everyone was tired. Babs and me looked at each other in the lift and went, ugh. I've broken my toe. That's got mad Tuesday vibes, but it's actually Wednesday, so we can push through. It does, but we're halfway, so the broken toe doesn't feel as bad.

It doesn't feel as bad. We can all deal with a broken toe on a Wednesday. Yeah, you can. Self-diagnosed broken toe for anyone who's just absolutely worried for me. Yeah. It wasn't a gym injury. It wasn't a gym injury. It was a kitchen injury.

I whipped around too fast to get into the fridge to get the butter, and didn't I pay for it? Stubbed me pinky toe. Never have truer words been spoken from you. Whipped around too fast to get the butter out of the fridge. Oh, my God. It's one of those things. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Do you ever say that quote? When it suits me. Yeah. But, like, I mean, sometimes you're like, how is this happening for a reason? I literally was on the ground in agony. Lucia, the one-year-old, has sort of toddled up being like, what's all the commotion here?

What are you doing? Because I'm bent over in the fetal position. Yeah. And I went, why? Why did this happen today? What possible reason do I need to be slowed down? Maybe it was the gods being like, cut back on the butter. You know what I mean?

This is butter and mayo. We take it out. You were trying to train more. I'm actually out of mayo at the moment. I've only got Perrine's in the fridge. What do you like Perrine's? How good's Perrine's? I've got no OG mayo.

No, I like butter. What were you buttering? Was it worth it? Good question. Yeah, I like to put, this you buttering? Was it worth it? Good question. Yeah, I like to put, this is a little cooking hack for you. I wasn't going to offer it to you, but you led me here. My Italian cousins over in Italy will be very ashamed at this. Yeah.

But if I'm just doing a simple oil garlic chili pasta, a little scoop of butter there makes it very silky. Oh, there you go. Very silky indeed. It's just a lunch, is it? Just a low-key lunch. It was actually like a 3 p.m. snack. You know what it is?

That is the world saying stop having pasta daily at 3 p.m. I know, we had a lasagna ready to go for dinner. But when I'm hungry. I do believe everything happens for a reason, actually. And that's why that happened. It's the only thing I feel like. But yeah, just a little scoop of butter. Did you finish the pasta?

Of course I did. It's the only thing that made me feel better in the afternoon. Anyway, really hurts. Oh, no. I'm hobbling around. You bloody stepped on a rusty nail. Yeah, I'm hobbling around. We were just limping in together.

I've broken the pinky toe. Babs and Shy Guy, watch out. Yeah, watch out. Something karmically is coming for our feet. You don't want anything to happen to your little... I'll be right. You've got long toes showing. Oh, your philandery's sticking out like no one's business.

I chose not to wear my slides today, too. How did we all go yesterday in the hottest weather on the planet on record? There were some parts in Australia that were actually the hottest parts on the planet. But we're in the Southern Hemisphere. How do we even get to that? That was equator territory. It was a warm day yesterday. Wow, I didn't do well, Ducco.

But not for the entire country. I tried to eventually put the lasagna in the oven. My power went out. Oh, did you lose power? I lost power. I had the air con going, obviously, then the oven. I think everything was working overtime. Yeah.

Obviously, everything was permanently plugged in. Yeah. Couldn't handle it. I was hosting trivia last night. There was an electrical storm going on outside. It was just chaos. It was a cool storm. It was a good storm.

I do love a good storm. No, but I don't like when it's been 40 degrees and then we get a storm. It's very Queensland weather. It's very tropical. It's very end of days that the planet is collapsing. Yeah. You know? Babs got burnt in her own living room.

Oh, no. She's got her hand light this morning. She's coming like a tomato today. No comment. Oh, you want me to comment on that? I mean, you know, we were talking to you out of our ear. Yeah, yeah. She just smiles and looks at me and nods.

Good morning, Beth. It was from two days ago. See, you can tell she's got Tuesday vibes. She does have Tuesday vibes, which we need to shake off, team. Come shake it off, baby. Because when we brought Tuesday vibes to last Tuesday show, it was the worst show of the week. So let's shake that shit off.

This ain't going to be bad because we've got Chaga dips today. Yeah, we do. For a fridge magnet and a packet of cereal. So let's shake that shit off. This ain't going to be bad because we've got Shy Guy Dips today. Yeah, we do! For a fridge magnet and a packet of cereal. So far we've done, what, Milo and Nutri-Grain. They're the two stickies gone. Two big hitters. Two big hitters. So what will it be today? How exciting.

10k off box, 6.30 and 8+. We have a laptop to give away today by 9 o'clock for the best caller of the show. You just get involved. At any point, you don't need an invitation. Babs is sitting out. That's why she's employed, to sit out there and wait for your call. And she actually, people don't know this, Babs stars everyone's call.

So if you're good, she gives you a rating. Then she comes in, she tells us about them. And we have so many five-starers. Too many. Too many. But God, that one one-starer. Too many. Too many. Yeah. But, God, that one one-starer. Oh, jeez.

Really pissed her off, yeah. Up next, though, team, I saw this article yesterday, and I thought I need to tell the team. And you thought of us. Yeah, yeah. Because the average male peen size is evolving and changing over time. All right. And it's not great for reproduction. So you know how we have the Neanderthal picture where it starts as a chimp

and it becomes a man? Yeah. Well, we have one of those for Johnsons over time. Exactly. And then you'll just see it's getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Okay. Shag, I think you'll be shocked at this research as well. This is going to affect you. Alright, let's hear it. First, let's hear a song. Yeah, let's hear a song. What do you reckon about that? Then we'll hear it.

Okay. He had police on his street today. He's a bit nervous. He's rattled, yeah. I'm trying to find out what it was. Oh, that's what you're doing. There was a murder on the street. It was just in the traffic. They said there was a police operation, but what does that mean? Could be traffic lines down. Could be power lines.

Yeah, they were working. Okay. Anyway, back to the page. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. The pork sword. The pork sword is a hot topic of contention because we're talking evolution of... My huge Johnson.

Okay. Okay. Scientists have predicted that peans could, what they could look like in the future. Okay. Recent research has indicated that pean size is growing to the point where the average could reach eight and a half inches before the end of the century. What's the average currently? Like four and a half?

Yeah. So the average currently is about five. Okay. So back in the early 1990s's the average currently? Like four and a half? Yeah. So the average currently is about five. So back in the early 1990s, the average was 4.8. Okay. So in 1990s, 4.8. Now in the 2020s, we're looking, it's going to jump up to eight. That is a humongous jump. Massive jump, right?

That's it currently. Yeah. Again. Yeah. I'm not talking about all like, you know, Shy? That's it currently. Yeah. Again. Yeah. I'm not talking about all like, you know, Shy Guy's probably started more ahead of the curve. Yeah, he's an outlier. I don't think he's included in research like this.

But this gives hope. That teapot spout. Oh, that spout is spouting. However, Simon Underdown, a professor of biological anthropology at Oxford, obviously. Obviously. He's worked very hard to get there. He said penis sizes jumped 25% in length from 92 up until now.

As I said, back in the early 1900s, 4.8 inches. He said if we're seeing this fast a change, it means that something powerful is happening to our bodies. I thought microplastics were shrinking us all. I thought all the pollution and the effects on the environment, I thought we were going the other way. Yeah, I thought it was going down. So how's it getting bigger?

How's it getting bigger? What are we eating or doing that's getting it bigger? Oh, is it all the chemicals in our food and stuff? Could be. You know how we're genetically modifying everything? We're pumping all our meat with stuff. We're making our chickens look bigger. Yes.

However, though, it's also going to affect... My lady cave. The lady caves as well. Excuse me? So he said, if we're seeing growth this rapidly, this is going to be bad for reproduction and have a negative impact because the caves will not be able to...

Handle. Exactly. It's like, you know, a bear coming in for hibernation. Yeah. Year one. Oh, this is a good cave for me. This is a nice cave. I'm going to settle in.

I can fit. It's cozy. Whereas 10 years down the track, this cave no longer suits my needs. Exactly. We are not compatible. Exactly. For the purposes of which we need each other. So he's saying it could alter the depth and shape of the vagina as well.

However. However. A second however... This is what I really wanted to get to in this entire story. Due to this issue with larger penises and maybe not working well, smaller penises would be likely more

selected for reproduction. So you're telling me for the survival of the species... Catch you later, Shy Guy. I don't need you anymore. Where's the duck man? Again, we talk about yours gets smaller and mine gets bigger. Yeah, he's the only one affected by microplastics. What I'm hearing is you need people like me. Yes.

The extra mediums unite. For the survival of the species, we're no longer going for our porn star friends. Because, like you said, the bear doesn't fit the cave. The bear doesn't fit the cave. The bear doesn't fit the cave. The bear has outgrown the cave. Whereas you come back to little caves and you go, you know what? It doesn't need to be that big. Small's okay.

That's right. So think twice. Because you know what it is? It's like shoot, marry, kill. You know? Maybe we can have a bit of fun with the shy guys of the world. But when it comes down to it. When you need the babies.

When you need. You know. Or you want, whatever. You call the duck man. Wow. You call our top. We come waddling in. What I'm hearing is you're saving the species on the brink of extinction.

That's sort of what I was getting to. That's kind of where I'm going. Good on you, man. Jess and Ducko. I have some sad news when it comes to friendships, Ducko. Oh, well. Turns out vitamin C. Yeah. Oh, well. Turns out vitamin C, big fat liar.

What? No wonder she hasn't released any other music. This was my year six graduation song. Shouldn't have been. Because apparently Friends Forever, there's a bit of an asterisk on that, a bit of a caveat. You're not just assumed to be friends forever with any old person. According to some

new research, where's this person from? No idea. He's a assumed to be friends forever with any old person. According to some new research, where's his person from? No idea. He's a sociologist, right? Okay. He's dedicated his life to studying friendships. And he has concluded that friendships have a bit of a seven-year lifespan. If you can get past that, you've probably got them forever. But if you can't, it's most likely that you will have a bit of a renewing cycle every

seven years. I could see that because a lot of my mates I've been mates with since I was in, some of them since I was in grade three, some of them since I was in grade eight. God, you've really gone over seven years times two times three. And we're all still really close mates. Yeah. You're closer with some than others. But then, you know, you meet new people on the way, work friends or whatever.

You don't see them again. And that's what they're saying. We will dump older friendships because even a six-year friendship, that's a long time. It's a long time, yeah. But we will dump a friendship that's maybe on its way out. You know, it's a six years. It's one that's course. Are you going to be over seven or eight for contextually relevant ones?

So we'd rather be friends with the person who's in our social netball team now than the person who we spent all of high school with. Because that was a six, seven year stint, you know, depending if you were held back, I guess. Yeah. And you usually see the people what you work with daily. Exactly. And they become the biggest part of your lives or that you are in that social team with. And then all of a sudden a couple of years go by, you got a new job or that maybe some people have been fired or whatever, and you don't see them again.

You don't see them again. You can't speak to them again. You can't push through the seven-year barrier. If you can, good on you. But most of us can't. They did this massive study with 1,000 adults. And apparently, the people that they, and they got people to categorize who was already in their friendship circle.

If you were considered a discussion partner, so maybe someone you'd go to to dissect a problem, give them a call being like, I need your advice, or practical helper, the person in your friendship circle that you went, I need to move the couch. You know who I can call? Yeah, yeah. Bloody Gary. Gary's good at that. If you-

He's got a ute. He's got a ute. Maybe your friends who are practical in terms of their possessions. Yes. If you deem them a discussion partner or a practical helper, they could push through the seven years. So look for those people in your circle because they're the ones who are going to be around forever.

Interesting. Otherwise, more than 52% of the participants' overall circle was dumped before the seven years. And seven years, right, does feel long, but I suppose in the scheme of things, it's not really. Totally. I'm trying to think about people I was really close with seven years ago, what I was doing seven years ago. And yeah, I don't speak to many of them.

100%. There's people at my wedding, which was four years ago, who I would never see now. And they were there, one, at the most expensive day of your life, but a day that's meant to be indicative of the rest of your life. Yeah. It's like, oh, wait a minute, you couldn't even make it beyond the wedding. Yeah. It's like, oh, wait a minute. You couldn't even make it beyond the wedding. Yeah. There are seven areas of overlap, particularly crucial in sustaining solid friendship, speaking the same language. So if you're making a friendship last with someone who is a different language, good

on you guys, because that's really hard. Similar career trajectories. That's why it works. No one knows kind of what's being said. We just like to watch TV together with the subtitles on. This one I thought was interesting. Similar career trajectories. You know, like maybe you've got someone in your circle who just doesn't have the same

ambition or motivation as you. You get really successful. They don't. How do you ever go to dinner together again? Who's paying for the bill? Who's paying for the bill? Do you want to get a bottle of wine? Nah, I'll just pay for what I order.

I can't be friends with people like that. See, this is what I worry about with this team. We're all really close now. We do the show together. We're all good friends. But think about how many times we saw each other in the holidays. I didn't hear from Shaga or Babs. You heard from her.

Wow. I had to text you first. I think you sent one meme to the group chat. Babs will inevitably move on from us at some stage. Oh, my God. We're going to be a blip in her radar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple of years, Tom, do you remember?

I used to work with them. Look, sharing hobbies, viewpoints, and tastes in music. We don't have any of those. Share hobbies. Jeez, we don't share hobbies. We haven't been able to go eat pistachio nuts with Shy Guy. We haven't gone to his house. Viewpoints, being invited over to Shy Guy's.

He doesn't share that viewpoint. He's been on a lot of radio shows with Shy Guy. He has. He's not friends with any of the hosts anymore. You're not even making it to the seven years. You're dumping us all before that. Well, it's only been one full year. Would you stay friends with us when we move forward?

Yeah. Yeah. I hear the lies in him. Babs, you going to stay friends? Of course. Yeah. Okay. I'm friends with all of my exes.

Radio exes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of them. There's a lot. You. There's a few. There's a lot. You can't say friends with anyone in this game. So if any of your friendships are about... I've got that many knives in my back. So if any of your friendships are approaching the six-year mark, be warned.

Be careful. This could be the last year of that friendship. It makes sense, though. It does. You've got to move on. You've got to shed your skin. Yeah. You liked juggling last week and karate a year ago.

I still like juggling. You have that many hobbies. It's hard to be your friend all the time, you know a year ago. I still like juggling. You have that many hobbies. It's hard to be your friend all the time, you know? It is. Never really got into social netball, though. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks on here. 30 seconds to answer.

10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back, of course, if there is time. We know we're playing for $10,000. And we go to Ashley this morning. Hello, Ash.

Hello. Ashley, what are we doing with $10,000, babe? Going on the holidays. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Where do you have your sights set on? Canada. Canada. Okay. Nice. Beautiful. I've never been to Canada.

It would be fun. It would absolutely be fun. You might go in winter time. Yes. It can be a relatively snowy country. And the letter you're going to work with is Okay. Okay. Solid letter. We're in. We're in. Good letter. Very good letter. That is a. Okay. Solid letter.

We're in. We're in. Good letter. Very good letter. That is a great letter. I can't think of a place in Canada starting with S. So we'll go with snow. Yeah.

Your time will start after the first question. Ash, you ready to rock? Ready to rock. Let's do it. Starting with the letter S. We need you to name something in the kitchen. A country. A sea horse.

A condiment. A female singer. A breakfast cereal. A five-letter word. A fashion brand. A five-letter word. A fashion brand. A vegetable. Goddamn, we were out of the gates.

Very well. Sorry, I missed something in the kitchen. Oh, I thought I heard sink. Did I make that up? I said seat. Oh, seat. Okay, no, that works. That works.

And then what did we say? I also missed a five-letter word. Swept? Swept. Swept. Okay, great. That means you got yourself six. Oh, okay.

Six of the best. Six of the best. Pretty much everything you answered, you got correct. Breakfast series said pass. That was special. K. And a fashion brand could have been sketches. Nah, you don't think of sketches.

Oh, my God. Or Supray. Remember Supray? I mean, unless Ashley's 16, she's not going to remember Supray. I love Supray. She does love Supray. That's one of the stuff of mine. A vegetable could have been spinach or snow peas.

But, look, you're a great player. Can I say, seahorse for Ocean Adam. I know. One of the great answers. When she came out, I was like, wow. Yeah, everything you answered, you got correct. You're a great player. And also, is there a little one in your vicinity, Ash? Was that a little helpful?

I do, I have two. Yeah, a little helpful cheer at the start. Right when the timer started, they start screaming. Like, no, be quiet. Look, Ash, you did well. You don't go away empty-handed. $100 to spend at Urban Jungle Beauty. That is all yours.

Thank you so much. Thank you for playing, Ash. Have a great day. A strange thing happened to me yesterday. So where we were yesterday, really, really warm day. Then it turned into the end of the world. Very heavy winds. Like, just psychotic kind of behavior.

It's so bad. You see why all the climate activists are throwing soup at paintings. Because something is wrong. Something is vastly wrong with the climate. So then it was super windy. I'm on my way to drive to trivia with Morgan. We're in the car, we're driving. And we noticed that there's this like little, there's a Chinese tour group. Cause there's a bus that was pulled up.

They were all like hidden underneath like a, an awning or like an opening to like get out of the elements. Exactly. Just waiting for it to all pass. But there was this one little like lady, lady, and she was holding an umbrella, and the umbrella was flipped, like, inside out. Oh, no. And it looked like she was holding a pole, but we thought her umbrella was wrapped around

the pole, and she couldn't move. Oh, no. And so we're like, we drove past. And what? She's been, like, abandoned by the group. The group just left her. I swear. It's every man for themselves.

There was, like, six of them. The group had completely left her. And I was like, do you reckon we stop Morgan? Morgan goes, yeah, I think we should. So we pull over. It's like sideways raining. I get out of the car. I run. As I get over to her, I realise her umbrella's not tangled

whatsoever. Her umbrella's just broken. She just can't physically move. Like, she was little. Like, she came up to my nipple. So she can't and your nipple is not. Exactly. I'm trying to really paint a picture here. She's very little lady. So hang on, because the wind and rain was

so strong, it was like keeping her stuck in place. She couldn't move. And the group had just ditched her. I don't know if they were her grandma or who this was to them, but they just ditched her. They haven't done the head count. Oh, it's a home alone situation. They haven't done the head count. Where's grandma? You know what happened?

I looked at her. I was like, I realized she wasn't stuck. I go, are you okay? And she couldn't really speak English. And I was like, do you want to, let's get you undercover. And she's like, okay. Couldn't move. So I, you did not, I bare, I put my arms around her.

You picked her up. I picked her up. How else was I going to get her there? And so she's in front of me. But she also hadn't communicated. Yes, I need help. She I picked her up. I picked her up. How else was I going to get her there? And so she's in front of me. But she also hadn't communicated, yes, I need help. She wanted to get out. Okay. She was clutching for her dear life.

You know what is the universal language? You want some help? I'll be here. Here's Uncle Ducko, the wind whisperer. It's wind man. Please tell me you pulled out a cape. I'll tell you what, though. I don't often get to bear hug someone and pick them up.

And God, I felt good. Like, it felt like. So what did you do? Did you trot her over to the group? Yes. So I picked her up. To applause? Did they cheer?

They kind of looked like, oh, shit, you brought her. We tried to ditch her. Yeah, yeah. We were trying to let her go. So I put her in front of me, right? And we were kind of like, I was stepping and she was also trying to get her to walk. And I was like, really windy, isn't it? Like trying to make small talk. Like what are you doing out in the elements, doll? You know, like when a dad will put his little daughter on his feet and then they dance or

like walk around. It was exactly like that. It was exactly like that. Picture that. And it was like me trying to. Wow, wind man. I know. And I go back to the car and Morgan was just laughing. It's like when I gave her back to the group. Gave her back doesn't feel right. When I returned her to the group, when I delivered the package. It's like a lost little lamb.

The group were like nodding and smiling at me like in thanks, but they didn't. I just want to be like, why did you guys leave her there? It did change very fast. Everyone was just so overwhelmed. They went, we didn't even realize. They weren't used to it. Yes.

And I got back into the car and Morgan was laughing. And she goes, God, I wish I filmed that. God. I wish you did too so I could have shown the team. God, that. I'm so proud of you. You saw a situation. How many people would have just driven on?

There was a few. It's like when you see someone stucky, you know, in the middle of nowhere, or the car's broken down, people go, no, I'm not going to stop. I'm not going to help them. They think for the negative. It does feel good to help a stranger. You've pulled over and thought, I will pick that lady up, and I will carry her to safety.

Jess and Ducko. I had an issue date night. Was it Friday night? I guess my husband has been working a lot. We haven't spent some quality time together in a while. You've got that child, that nuisance. We've got that one-year-old who makes going out for nice dinners very hard, but he surprised me with a, hey, grandma's coming in.

We're going out. Oh, so is grandma coming like the equivalent for me, like Kong in the freezer? Like it's on, it's on. It's on. But our it's on is let's go out to dinner unencumbered. Peace and quiet. Amen. Amen.

So we go to our favorite restaurant. Now we've got a bit of a thing with this restaurant. We know exactly what we're getting. Yeah. They change the menu sort of seasonally, but we are now. You've looked at the menu before you've arrived. You've eaten there plenty of times. You know what you get.

We're pros. And I'm quite proud of our order. but we are now... You've looked at the menu before you've arrived. You've eaten there plenty of times. You know what you get. Exactly. We're pros. And I'm quite proud of our order, so much so that I've advertised it quite publicly on social media. What? You? That people ask me, what do I order at this place? I've sent my list to three or four people. I hope they've got a loan.

Yep. And I have said, look, Angus and I can put a bit away, so maybe you don't need all this food, but these are the things you should get. Yes. And I've always had great feedback. But this is people I know who have asked for that advice. Yes. The couple who were sat next to us, we'd been there maybe 15 minutes,

so we've done our ordering, we're getting excited, food is slowly coming out. It's a bit of a shared progressive situation. The couple next to us, I hear the waitress say, ever been here before? And they hit her with a, no, we haven't. So every ounce of my body wanted to turn to them and go, let me help you. Oh, it's so good here. Let me get everything.

But I went, let them work it out themselves. The waitress was explaining things. But I couldn't help because, you know, it was a busy restaurant. They're quite close to us. I'm hearing everything. Yeah. And, you know, Angus and I, we've talked. I'm more interested in listening.

You're done now. And I'm listening to what they're thinking of ordering. And it was all wrong, Ducko. It was all wrong. It wasn't what you liked at all. No, but they're getting multiples of the wrong thing. They're going to fill up on pizza bread. You don't need two freaking pizza breads.

They're not getting the whipped ricotta or the burrata. I'm like, you've got to get multiples of the wrong thing. They're going to fill up on pizza bread. You don't need two freaking pizza breads. They're not getting the whipped ricotta or the burrata. I'm like, you've got to get one of the cheeses. What do you think you're going to put on the pizza bread? Maybe they don't like cheese. Maybe. But then they're talking about getting a pasta, but not the cotaletta, which is like the schnitzel. And ours came out and she went, do you want to get one of those?

Oh, they saw yours. She's looking. And I went, she's opened the gates here. And he went, no. And I went, this is the best thing on the menu. And Angus saw my body language start angling towards them. To go tell them. And he literally grabbed my hand across the table and went, leave them be.

Leave the poor people. So I had to sit through them ordering with their waitress all the wrong things. Oh, no. All the wrong things. It slowly starts getting brought out for them. And they're complaining about, oh, maybe we did the wrong thing. And we ordered. All the wrong things. It slowly starts getting brought out for them and they're complaining about, oh, maybe we did the wrong thing and we ordered, now we're full and this and that. Oh, the pizza bread got us.

The pizza bread got us. And I just thought, at what age and stage of life is it appropriate to go, guys, let me help you? Like the, you know, a guidance, a Sherpa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. An assist. Because it can be taken two ways. Either they go, yeah, please do.

This is great. Or you don't know us for a bar of soap. I know. You don two ways. Either they go, yeah, please do. This is great. Or you don't know us for a bar of soap. I know. You don't know what we like and what we don't like. I have a cheese intolerance. That's why I didn't order all those cheeses. I think she opened the gate because Angus was saying, leave them to their date night.

Like it was another couple. And that is a very fair thing to say. I reckon she opened the gate there. She's opened the door by looking and commenting. On your food. And she was speaking softly. It's not like she was maybe trying to get my attention. But because I was so tuned into her, I could have easily gone,

it's the best thing on the menu. But then I guess if they didn't order it, I probably would have been really offended. You were one step away from cutting your veal and going, here, try this, putting it in her mouth, moving your table over and giving them everything. I have done that before where I have offered gnocchi and gone, do you want to try it? And a woman stuck her fork in and took it and then went, no, I don't like it. I went, well, I've wasted a fricking gnocchi on you now.

Vomit that back up so I can eat it again. How dare you? I've eaten leftover chips that have been left in it. Yes, I was just about to bring that up. You've eaten people's leftovers that have been on the table. I'm crossing boundaries at restaurants, I know. I know you well, so I know you mean well. I do mean well.

But if someone didn't know you and you're there, because when you get excited, you get your accent on and you get loud and you get sweaty and you get animated. Angus literally gave me a, hey, hey, let's take a break when I was looking at the menu, which, as you said, and you point, I've seen this menu a hundred times, but I get so excited. You're excited. You're rev hot.

We haven't been out. Just the two of us. It's our favourite place. I got a limoncello spritz, which I don't usually order. Oh, goodness me. The vibe was high. I always take it back to the one thing Shia guys said when we all went out to our first group lunch.

Do you remember what that was? No. This is why people are scared of you. Even my own husband. Jess and Ducko. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk.

Shy Guy Dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box. Yes, it is time to win the big man's box. Shy Guy Dips, the cereal edition. That's right. We exhausted the biscuit aisle in 2024. Yeah.

We've moved over to aisle four. Yep. Cereal. Wherever you get your good cereals from. That's right. And there's so many good ones in there. Oh, my God. And his clues have not got any easier to decipher.

Yep. So much so that weeks one and two, we pretty much had the same clues for different cereals. And they still got it. So 13, 10, 16, we always need the first cab off the rank. You'll get a clue now and a clue when we get you on the phone. You win a fridge magnet here, plus you win the box of cereal. Which weirdly have become such a hot ticket item. People are frothing the fridge magnets.

People are frothing. We have had multiple DMs. I'm talking upwards of three. Well, that's multiple. Saying, I would love a magnet. The fridge magnets are a custom item. They were sort of designed as a joke, and then we got too many by accident. And then now they're a trademark.

A woman has offered to come in and play any game, any game we have, because all she wants is a magnet. She wants that fridge magnet. She wants that fridge magnet. They're huge. Yes, yes, you get the box of cereal. Yes, yes, you get the glory. Yeah. But don't you be forgetting about that magnet. Shy wants that fridge magnet. She wants that fridge magnet. So, yes, yes, you get the box of cereal. Yes, yes, you get the glory. But don't you be forgetting about that magnet.

Shy Guy, do you have your first clue for the team? I do. High Fiber. That's a huge clue, actually. Jesus Christ. You may as well just give it to them. I didn't think that was a huge clue. That's a massive clue. Oh my god. Good luck. 13, 10, 16.

You just never know which way it's going to go with him. It's because he obviously doesn't know the product that well. It's like he's been doing Shy Guyanese on Duolingo himself, so now he's getting too good at his own language. Anyway, high fiver. Give us some soul. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko.

I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy Dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box. That's right. We've got a box of cereal to give away.

Mm-hmm. Plus a fridge magnet. Oh, yeah. And that all-important glory. Eternal glory. You will end the year knowing I'm an elite pool of people who speaks Shy Guyanese. It's cereal edition this year, which is fun.

There's so many wonderful, wacky cereals. We've excluded all the biscuits. We've done them all. We have done them all. But it is funny to see some of the crossovers because, you know, Tiny Tenties is a cereal now. Yep. So don't you get comfortable? Really?

There's some weird ones. There is. We'll get to them. We have heard it's high fibre. Which Ducco and I think is an unbelievable first clue for a guy who usually goes, it's round. Yeah, yeah, yeah, red. But Kylie was very quick on the phone.

Good morning, Kylie. Good morning. You get a supplementary clue because you are first cab off the rank. Okie dokie. Shy guy. It's brownish colour. See that? That's a good clue for shy guy.

There we go. Now we're cooking. It's brownish. And it's fibrous-ome. What do you got, Kylie? Well, I'm kind of hoping it isn't, right, because I don't really want a box of it, but All Brand? You're wrong. It is not All Brand.

But that's good. All Brand is high fibre. It is high fibre. I love that Kylie went, I don't want the prize. Yeah, I want the fridge baby. I want the fridge baby and the glory. 13, 10, 60. If you think you know, you get another clue too, we go to Sarah.

Hello, Sarah. Hello, how are you going? We're so good, Sarah. We're trying to give you a box of cereal, if you're willing to take it off our hands. High fibre, brownish, another clue. The packet is red and blue. Ooh.

I can see, like, six other colours on the packet. The main colours. Show me, show me, show me. Main colours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. I mean, there's another one. Anyway, Sarah. Okay.

Yep. I'm thinking it's Special K. Special K is high in fibre. I love Special K. And he does love Special K. But no, because that clue would have been, like, my favourite cereal. Yep. I'm thinking it's Special K. Special K is high in fibre. I love Special K. And he does love Special K. But no, because that clue would have been like, my favourite cereal. Yeah. But good guess.

Is Special K, you would know this? Is Special K high fibre? I think it is. Yeah, I think it is. Yeah. Oh, okay. I think they all are except for Fruit Loops. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, okay. Ooh, clue. Ooh, clue. Bonus clue. Fruit Loops is high in sugar. Yeah. We go to Josh. G'day, Josh.

Hey, how are we going? Good, Joshy. Oh, man, we're so good. Put it all together for go to Josh. G'day, Josh. Hey, how are we, guys? Good, Joshy. We're so good. Put it all together for us, Josh. High fibre, brownish, blue and red on the box. Shaga's got one more clue for you. Yeah. Yep.

They're stacked. Oh. Run with it, Josh. Guys, well, yous are really throwing me. I had one in mine when I first called, but the red and blue threw me off, and now that one's throwing me off. Yes. I'll just go with what I thought second after the red and blue clue.

Is it Special K? Oh, babe, we just had Special K. We had that as a guess. You missed it. Well, okay. I'm not even going to ask what your first thought was because you've... I love the thought that went into it for him, though. He's like, you know what, I'll do this.

My favourite thing is when people go, I was going to say this. What are you going to say now, though? It's just fun not having people guess Wagga Wheel anymore. We go to Michael. Good morning, Michael. Morning, team. How are you? Michael, we're so good.

Mate, that high fibre clue maybe wasn't as obvious as we thought it would be. No, I was thinking it was simple. Show me a clue for Michael. You can break these in half. Oh, they're snappable, Michael as obvious as we thought it would be. No, I was thinking it was simple. So, clue for Michael. You can break these in half. Oh, they're snappable, Michael. They're snappable, Michael. Well, I was going to say one other cereal, but now I've changed my mind.

Okay, what are you going to say now? Weet-Bix. Did you say Weet-Bix? Yes! Michael, what gave it away for you? Surely stackable. Stackable, absolutely. Yeah, stackable. Well, that? Surely stackable. Stackable, absolutely. Yeah, stackable.

Well, that's good pivoting, Michael. Yeah, well done. Well done to you. That's listening. Do you put your Weet-Bix on top of each other, Michael, or side by side? Oh, I don't eat that. Well, you're getting a box of it, buddy. Well done.

Is he getting the big value pack like you have, shy guy? Yeah, why not? 72 Bix for a guy who doesn't eat Weet-Bix. Michael's getting 72 Weet-Bix and the all-important fridge magnet. My six-year-old loves Weet-Bix. There you go. Oh, well, please. We'll write on the box.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To Michael's six-year-old love, Jess and Ducko and Shy Guy. Do you want to get Michael to say the thing? Oh, yeah. Okay, Michael. We're going to need a nice, crisp, clear, Hi, my name's Michael and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's box. Go.

Hi, my name's Michael and I'm so excited because I won Shy Guy's box. Yeah! Jess and Ducko. I love the stories of life imitating art, particularly with actors who take their roles so seriously that the characters kind of become who they are in reality. Maybe because the public just sees them as that now and forgets, oh, no, that's a real person, not the character.

It's like The Rock in every movie he's ever been in. Absolutely. He's The Rock. Mr. Toadie from Neighbours. I remember seeing an interview with him. Toadie? You mean Toadie? Toadours. I remember seeing an interview with him. Toadie? You mean Toadie? Toadie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His character's name is Toadie, but Toadie's real name is Jared Rebecca. Oh, yeah, and he just gets called Toadie? But then his actor's name, I mean, like the real man's name is Ryan something, right? But people call him Jared thinking that's the real man's name. It's like, no, no, now you've just got the real name of my nicknamed character. He's like, whatever, it's fine. People just really connect with me and it's fine that they call me this.

That's who I am now. That's who I am now and that's okay. Like Reese Witherspoon, obviously very famous actress, she was talking about her time on Jury Duty, which was like a real thing. I didn't realize celebrities also got called up to do Jury Duty. Yeah, it feels funny. She got called up. It was about seven years after one of her very famous films,

it might have actually put her on the map, Legally Blonde. Girls, I'm going to Harvard. You mean like on vacay? Let's all go! Road trip! No, I'm going to Harvard Law School. Why? One of the great movies, obviously.

She was on an interview recently and she was talking about getting called up for jury duty and the jurors, who were obviously made up of just members of the public, thought she was a real lawyer. And they were trying to get her to be the foreman and do all this extra stuff because they're like, you went to law school. You get it. You went to Harvard. You get it.

And she was like, guys, one, she goes, very sad indictment of like the education system that people think that's how the law works. But no, I'm not really Elle Woods, the lawyer. I'm just Reese, the normal person who happens to be on this two week, I don't know, murder trial or something. But it got me thinking about other actors who have been really shaped by roles they've played. Angelina Jolie.

Someone has commented saying she was like the weird bad girl of Hollywood. Remember, she used to wear the blood of her boyfriend around her neck, and she was very left of center. Yeah, she's a bit out there. Until she did Lara Croft Tomb Raider. Oh, yeah, that was such a trash film. I freaking loved Tomb Raider. That was such a trash film.

But they shot in Cambodia, and it opened her eyes to the plight of other people and third world countries. So much so, she became this charitable UN person and ended up adopting one of the kids. 25 kids. Yeah. And one of them is from Cambodia because Tomb Raider changed her life. Really? It was all from Tomb Raider?

And now she has dual citizenship with Cambodia. Really? Wild. Jim Carrey credits The Truman Show and that movie Man on the Moon with an existential crisis. Because you know how The Truman Show, it's like basically a kid who grew up in front of the screen and doesn't really know who he is outside of that. Everyone's watching him.

But who is Jim Carrey then? If I could be this on Truman, who is the real Jim Carrey? He got deep. I'm just turning on and off my personality. Another one, Paul Walker, obviously from The Fast and the Furious. He just became Fast and Furious. He was never really into cars. Really?

He got cast in that movie and he ends up dying in a high-speed crash. Then he got obsessed with cars. Then he got obsessed with cars and it was his ultimate demise. This one I know we talked a lot about at the time. The actor Austin Butler, who got cast as Elvis in the biopic, who couldn't shake the accent. Changed my relationship to fear because I had never felt that type of fear as an actor. The voice started getting very loud saying, you're not enough. You're not a singer. You're not a

dancer, whatever those things were. And just like what all of you who are my, I mean, you're all my heroes. So to hear you say this is so comforting to me because in those moments, those voices were still there. He doesn't sound like that in real life. He just kept the Elvis voice because he practiced for so long. That was weird. That he couldn't shake it. Remember he won the Golden Globe for it and he was up there being Elvis

and everyone's like, what's going on with his voice? Where has Austin gone? This guy is now embodying Elvis. And then one more for you. Not the dad, the farmer man in Babe. He became a vegan after doing Babe because he couldn't eat pigs anymore. Well, that's a nice, you know, fair enough. He worked with so many pig actors.

He worked with the CGI pig. Was it a CGI pig or was it a real pig? Maybe it was a CGI mouth on the pig. He became a full animal activist and vegan. Really? Because he's like, the pig has changed my life. Oh, that's nice. And so he's really become one with the character of the farmer man.

It was like me in San Andreas, you know what I mean, when I was playing the preppy student. The preppy student under Paul Giamatti. I wasn't really that preppy. I didn't really like science stuff that much. But since that movie. You have embodied that character. Earthquakes are my thing. Any tremor, you're straight under that desk.

I get it. With your laptop. Jess and Ducko. I want to know, why don't you play board games anymore? Or maybe card games. Just games. Games in general, because I had a girlfriend come over on the weekend, Ducko, and I didn't want to talk, but I just wanted company.

Angus was working. And I was like, do you want to come over and watch a movie? She went, do you want to play a game? I was like, I love games. Two-person games are never good, though. They're not fun. Have you ever played Bananagrams? Yeah, hate it.

I was talking to your wife about Bananagrams. We were having a couple date night because she said, you guys have Bananagrams. It sucks. I went, great. Any spelling game I'm obviously not a fan of. Okay, so maybe it'll just be not a double date, but a Mia Morgan date. You and Morgan do it, yeah.

But it's funny you say that because we had banana grams. Carly and I had a great time. Yeah. And then I was like, I'll play with Angus. We had Monday together. I went, can we play banana grams? Can we play banana grams? And he was so anti the game.

Yeah. And I went, you don't want to ever play games with me. We've got a couple more games in the house. What's your problem with games? Let's get to the bottom of this. Because I can't have Carly come over every freaking night to play Bananagrams. And Lucia can't do it yet. You know what?

That's what he literally said. He goes, I can't wait for Lucia to be old enough so she can play games with you. I went. And you'll just pump her because she won to be able to spell for a while? And she's, you know what my issue is? I just want to keep playing. So I'm happy to let her win as long as, you know, the vibe is high. But I went, Angus, what's your problem?

Like, do we need to have a therapy session? I want to play games with you sometimes. What did he say? You really want to know? I got him. I scrooged him enough. He went, when I was 10 years old, I went, geez, this is going back 23 years. When I was 10 years old, they were on a family holiday, but him

and his mom thought, let's play Monopoly. It was day three of a week long camping trip or something like that. He's landed on one of her properties on Monopoly, couldn't afford to pay it. And his 10 year old brain snapped. He was at his wits end. Monopoly, couldn't afford to pay it, and his 10-year-old brain snapped. He was at his wits' end. Monopoly doesn't bring out the best in people. Monopoly does that to people, yeah. And he flipped the board. Oh, yeah.

And just absolutely lost his tiny mind, was sent to his room. Yeah. The rest of the trip obviously tainted because of the bratty behavior. Yeah. And he went, I've not played a board game since. Wow. Never recovered. Never recovered. Ruined the family behaviour. Yeah. And he went, I've not played a board game since. Wow. Never recovered. Never recovered.

Ruined the family holiday. You know, probably put a dampener on the mother-son relationship. Saw a side of her son. Monopoly does that. That Georgia hadn't seen before. And he went, I can't, I don't. It was an ugly side of me. I don't like who I am when I play Monopoly.

I don't like who I am on board games. I went, maybe I'll stop asking you to play Bananagrams then because I don't want you flipping the table. I like that with card games with Morgan's family. They love cards. They always play card games. They always want to play and they're very competitive and they get annoyed if you don't keep up with their pace.

And I'm like, I don't know what this game is. What are we doing? Yes. I mean, how many families have been ruptured by the draw for in Uno? Oh, goodness me. What's happened in your family or relationship maybe that you're like, that's it, I'm never playing this again? What retired you from board games?

Yes. What metaphorical injury took you out of the game? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. Or card games anymore. What retired you from them? Has there been a newfound love of yours or something? Board games?

Yeah. Do you know what? I think I bought Operation. You remember Operation? Where you have that board and you've got to pick out the little heart or the knee bone with the tweezers. In COVID times, because what else were we doing? I think Operation's kind of boring.

I don't have very good fine motor skills. I sucked at it. No one wants to play the games they suck at either. Exactly. I love talking games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we do here on the radio. I like sitting in a car trip for an hour and going back and forth, categories, things like that.

Yeah. My husband hates it all. He hates card games, board games, car games, everything. Yeah. And I finally got it out of him. Why? When I was trying, begging him to play Bananagrams with me, he said, when I was 10, I flipped a Monopoly board.

I couldn't pay my mum the rent for landing on her hotel at a family holiday. It's a life lesson. It ruined the holiday. I don't like the side of me it brings out, he says. So stop trying to get me to play games. I've got to now wait six years for my daughter to get old enough to, I don't know, no words.

Yeah. You can play Cluedo. Cluedo's a good two-person game. Cluedo's a good game. Yeah, you can play. And then what you can do is you can make the Cluedo characters, like you can add your friends and your personal lives that you both know. So not, you know, Professor Plum or Miss Scarlet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be like Shy Guy killed the person in the conservatory. Sorry, I'm now thinking of, what's the one where you flip the heads down? Guess Who. Guess Who. That's what I was thinking of, not Clued one where you flip the heads down? Guess who. Guess who. That's what I was thinking. I've not clued all my apologies. That's on me.

I do like guess who. Guess who you can make it your friend. So it's like tall and thin. You're like, are you shy guy? Are you shy guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's giving teapots spout. Shy guy.

Exactly. I think all my people would be shy guy. Lily has said, my husband told me that his whole family was banned from Pictionary. I didn't think Pictionary would cause that many fights because apparently the mother would say, you're all cheating because she was just a bad artist. No one else is cheating. Drawing games are tough.

Drawing games are tough if you can't draw and everything looks phallic. One hundred percent. What is that again? Shotgun? It's a pony. But let's go to Lorraine. Good morning, Lorraine. Good morning, Lorraine. Good morning, guys.

How are you? So good. Babe, why don't you play board games? I absolutely love board games. I love banana games. But I had three boys who all played football and soccer and swimming and never wanted to play board games with me. I had to wait until I had grandchildren.

I had to fly to Tasmania last week just to play, you know, and skip bow. And have you seen the new Monopoly Grab? Yeah. Monopoly Go. I've seen Monopoly Go. Oh, okay. There's a Monopoly. How many versions of Monopoly are there? It's like the car game Monopoly. It's actually a lot of fun. It's quite fast. Okay. I've got Monopoly Lightning Ridge. I've got board games coming out of my ears and I've

got no one to play with. All right, Lorraine. I've got a Tassie. Okay. I'm going to send you back to Babs. She's going to get your number. Let's have a banana grams and a Monopoly go because I've got no one to play with other than Babs. I'm coming around Friday night.

It's a big board game, isn't it? It's a big board. I love that. I'm going to wait for grandchildren to come along and I will fly interstate. I will do it. We go to Ebony on 131060. Good morning, Ebony.

Good morning. How are you doing? Very well. Why don't you play board games anymore? So the game, You Know No Mercy, I got draw 52, and I had to touch 52 cards. Are there even 52 cards in an Uno deck? Yeah.

You Know No Mercy, it comes with, I don't know how many it comes with, but the rule is actually once you hit 25, that means, like, you're out. Okay. And obviously my family don't play that because we don't play by the rule. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone just like keeps picking up another draw, another draw. Yeah, so there's like draw 10 and everything. And yeah, I got draw 52 because everyone just kept piling it on me.

Yeah, and that's going to be like, well, I'm not playing this ever again. You've ruined the game for me. What did Udo come out with the rules? I've played it before. I've played it again. What did Uno come out with the rules and say you can't put a draw four on a draw four? Something like that. Officially.

And then people were commenting being like, you don't know the rules of Uno. You don't get it. Jess and Ducco. Now, as you know, Jess, well, as everyone knows, Morgan's pregnant. My wife's pregnant. 28 weeks. We had a scan yesterday, like a proper scan. Went in there.

Everything's going well. Everything's looking really good. Wonderful to hear. Yes, it's all looking good. Every single sonographer we've seen or any healthcare professional has been like, wow, she moves a lot. Yeah, yeah. Your little girl's moving a lot in there.

And we can never get a clear photo of her face because she's always putting her hands in front of her face for those weird 3D alien images. I love the idea that your unborn child is like, we're going to leave something a surprise, guys. Surprise. You know what I look like. You'll find out on the day. And she's bouncing around a lot. Yeah.

But there's one thing I've noticed through this pregnancy journey that is a trap mainly for men to say to someone who is pregnant. Women do do this as well. But I suppose, because I used to do it, right? Because you think as a bloke, it's the nicest thing to say. But I've now seen it, and I'll be interested to see what you think, since Morgan has been pregnant. Yeah. She, particularly the first two trimesters, hated when people said this, right? Because we're in the last trimester now.

It is the line when someone sees you and they see your belly and they go, geez, you don't look that pregnant for 20 whatever weeks. Oh, you don't actually look that pregnant. Now, I used to say that too because when you're a guy, right, and you're going up to a woman who's pregnant and you don't want to make the awkward thing where you say they're pregnant straight away, but then they bring it up. And you're like, okay, it's been acknowledged.

It's said there. I'm not saying you're fat. I'm just saying you're pregnant. But the worst thing, I thought it was a great thing you could do to go, you don't look that pregnant. You're looking fantastic, i.e. you're still looking normal. And I get it because we live in a society where big is bad. Big is bad.

And we're told constantly, one, don't comment on people's size. Don't comment on people's weight. Absolutely. Yep. But to flip that in a way with pregnancy and go, oh, I wouldn't be able to tell. You wouldn't be able to. Maybe you think you're trying to say a nice thing. But it's not.

Like Morgan would get so frustrated because she'd be like, you know, I'm feeling sick, particularly in that first trimester. I feel bloated. I feel heavier. My clothes aren't fitting me. And you're telling me I don't look pregnant? And even is there an element, and I don't want to speak for Morgan, and I know you probably don't want to either in her headspace,

but I can imagine as well when you've had a tumultuous journey to get to pregnancy. Yes, yes. Being told you don't even look it. Maybe I'm putting too much on this, but does it feel invalidating? Yeah, a little bit. I think so.

I went through a lot of emotional and physical turmoil to get here and it almost feels like it's being taken away a little bit. And now 12 or 18 weeks in, you're saying, because this was happening to Morgan because she's popped now and people don't say it as much anymore, but it was happening to her. Jeez, it must've been up until about 23. Yes. And can you imagine that headspace for her to be told you don't say it as much anymore, but it was happening to her. Jeez, it must have been up until about 23. Yes. And can you imagine that headspace for her to be told you don't even look pregnant when she's been through so much?

It got to the point before Christmas, I had to text my entire family, my cousins, everyone and say, if you see Morgan, say she looks pregnant. And they were like, I don't get it. And I was like, just trust me. Just do not. Everyone just say she looks pregnant. And obviously every scenario is different. And I had the reverse where people were saying you look huge and and it's just don't say anything don't yeah but what do you don't it would be better to not

say anything and i know always the intention is pure yes it's same with people who touch your belly yeah it's a miracle of life. They think there's a weird magnetic pull. Just don't say anything. Just leave it. Don't touch anything. It's hard as a guy, though. Girls obviously know, particularly girls that have been pregnant before,

but they get it straight away. For guys. Oh, I'd even say I was having women touch me that I was like, don't touch me. Get away. Do you know what I mean? No one's safe in this. For what to say, though, particularly,

because I could see guys saying it to her while I was in front of her, and I could tell they were meaning it as a compliment. Like, mates of mine who have never had a partner who's been pregnant, and they're like, oh, you look good. You don't look pregnant. All right, all right. But, like, it is, and I had to sit Morgan down a few times and go, they mean it as a nice thing.

Yeah, and because she's probably going, oh,, if I get bigger, I won't look good. That's the only way this journey is going. Exactly. It's a lose-lose. It's a complete lose-lose. I've never felt sexier. I've never felt more confident. I've never been more impressed with my body than when I was pregnant,

particularly in the final trimester. But then you hear someone say, you're gigantic. And it's like, I know my body's doing an amazing thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know that the little girl in here, obviously I had a daughter, that's wonderful for her to have this great house. But I also grew up in this country where you don't want to be called gigantic because that's a negative connotation. So don't say anything. It's tough. But you've got to say something because if because that's a negative connotation. So don't say anything. It's a tough.

But you've got to say something because if you're having a chat with them about it. You look fantastic. Yeah, I think, well, how many weeks? Oh, great. You're looking good. How are you feeling? How are you feeling? Absolutely. You're sick.

Yeah, yeah. But it's funny now you're on the other side of it and you go, I used to say that. I did. Thinking the intention was pure. And that's what I keep having to remind her. I was like, I would say that too. I won't anymore. But I used to say it to women because I would have thought it was a compliment.

Oh, you look great for 24 weeks. You don't even look pregnant. You're glowing. And it is wild how differently every female body takes pregnancy on. You know, you might not know some women from behind. You might not know some women from the head up. You might not know from the side. Even we all carry so differently.

It does. And it is just, it's just. It's a minefield. It's a minefield. It's a minefield. So our advice, just you look fantastic from the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say nothing.

Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on hit. Oh, it's everyone's favourite game. 30 seconds to answer. 10 questions all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. Can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, just say pass.

We will come back to you, of course, if there is time. We're playing for 10K. Yet to go off this year for 2025. And today's player is Joe. Hello, Joe. Howdy, howdy. Joe, howdy to you. What do you want to spend $10,000 on, partner?

A little trip overseas, maybe. Trip myself to the end of the year. Yeah, why not? Where are you going, Joe? Where's Joe heading off to? Heading off to Thailand. Yep. Okay, perfect. Joe, how about we take a hop, skip and a jump to

the left and visit Vietnam while we're in neighbouring Thailand because that starts with the letter V and that's what you're going to work with. V. All right, you can handle that. All right, you can handle that, baby. Joe's like, I'm not interested in going to V. Yeah, no, I've just told you Thailand.

I really want to go to Thailand. Maybe a little bit longer journey, Vanuatu. Oh, there you go. Kind of, you know. In the vicinity. In the vicinity. I reckon just told you Thailand. I really want to go to Thailand. Maybe a little bit longer journey, Vanuatu. Oh, there you go. It's kind of, you know. In the vicinity. In the vicinity. Okay, I reckon I can get there. Oh, very good.

All right. Joe, I'm not loving your phone line. Could you take two steps to the left? Yep. How's that? Yeah, that feels better. Feels strong. Feels strong.

Let's rock, Joe. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter V, we need you to name a non-alcoholic drink. V. A cooking ingredient. A TV series. A sport.

An occupation. Pass. A sport. Pass. An occupation. Pass. A zodiac sign. Oh, no way. Joey, Joey, Joey. It was the indicator, I reckon, that got you there. I know, you had like double time of metronomes going on.

It was a bit on there. You got yourself one in one of the worst performances we've had in 2025. And also, like, I know V is a drink, but you just repeated the letter. It was a really easy one. We can't set it. Cooking ingredient, vinegar. TV series, Vikings, a sport, volleyball, an occupation. There's a vet, a visual arts teacher.

There's plenty. And a Zodiac sign, Virgo. That's Ducko's star sign, Joe. How did you not get that one? I thought we were synced up. I thought it was star sign, brothers. I just had pies. He's going through my head.

It's funny what your brain does when you hear the time. You're like, piss off, pies. You're a pig. Go away. Do you normally play well in a car, Joe, and you thought you were going to be really good at this? Yeah, I thought I'd get 10 out of 10 there. That's tough. That just goes to show

no matter how good you think you are, when you get on air and live, it's tough. I thought you were going to say something else. You suck! Hey, you don't go empty-handed, though. Joe, 100 bucks to spend at Urban Jungle Beauty. You can maybe treat yourself to that one. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.

Thanks, Joe. I hope you get to Thailand slash Vietnam slash... Get your V. Yeah, get a V. Stop a servo and get a V. Celebrate with a V. Thanks, Joe. I think I'll be too.

Jess and Daco. 13, 10, 60. What were you doing when your water broke? We sent Shy Guy to the maternity ward just with his phone on record, and that's when he captured it. Everyone's different, but he just, yeah. A plop. What was a plop for?

What? It was very ploppy. Don't ask me. Anyway, this came up yesterday in conversation. What were we discussing yesterday? We were talking about you stepping on a nail. Oh, yeah, I stepped on the Bucks party and went through my heel. And you wanted to do what you step on.

Yes. Now, Jamie, excellent rice cooker, actually won herself a laptop for contributing. She told us this. Well, I stepped in my best friend's amniotic fluid. Okay. Jamie, Jamie. So the water's broken or was she halfway through give when does the fluid come out the water's broke yep she'd gone to she's dying her hair gone to dye her hair come out my waters have broken puddle all over the floor and then panic mode set in

rushing around and i've slipped in it. Oh, that is comical. That is very funny. Oh, my God. You need to be helping there, and then the pregnant one's going, okay, I guess I'm now helping you. Jamie's slipping over. Your sister's for life in that moment. Oh, 100%.

Five years later, we still have good giggle about it. It could only happen to us. Great story. Great story. As I said, won her, the co-fod. But that little tidbit at the start piqued our interest. Yeah. She was dyeing her hair.

So you can only assume she's very far along in the pregnancy to go into spontaneous labour. And she's maybe invited a friend over to do the back of the hair with the packet dye. And then all of a sudden... Dyeing her hair. Now, I have heard of women who get very, like, got to make sure all my appointments are done before the birth

because I can't be going to the salon with a three-day-old. I know yours was force-broken or whatever they're called. Yeah, induction. Yeah, induction. Yeah, that's the better one. How soon? It doesn't feel good. Angus was just like.

Yeah. How soon when it breaks do you have until birth? Yeah, so I always thought based on the movies and the TV shows, when your water breaks, it means a head is imminent to come out. That is not the way it works. I don't want to misquote medical information, but there is a window, and I want to say it's something like 24 hours. You're on the clock.

Then it starts to get, like there could be an issue if you wait too long. Yeah, okay. But you've got time. Yeah. Having said that, some ladies might, the water break and everything happens really fast. I was lucky. The water broke. We frantically called the nurse because we're on here.

I'm meant to give birth tomorrow. Yeah, they'd done the induction, but they said, go to sleep. It'll be 12 hours. Water breaks, not meant to happen. I thought, let's go. We're on here. And she went, nah, just put a pad on, go back to sleep. Oh, that's a tough sleep.

That's a tough sleep. I went, we could wake up in the middle of the night here and have to catch someone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it all worked out very smoothly. So I was just sleeping, which is... Yeah, not as fun. It's not as fun as dyeing your hair in your friend's bathroom. No.

We go to Kath on 131060. Kath, what were you doing when your water broke? I was at the gym doing a spin class. Oh, that's what we want. That's brilliant. Kath, how far along in your pregnancy were you? I was 32 weeks. 32?

Okay, so you're probably not thinking my water's going to break at this point. I was going a bit early. I was feeling really fat, so I thought it was a great idea to go to the gym and do a spin class. Do you remember what the song was that was playing when it popped? No, it was one of those kind of disco spin classes that were popular for a while. The guys at the front with the microphone were like, up, Kath, up, get out of the saddle. Go. One and two and two and two.

And so what? It breaks all over the bike and the people notice in the class that you had to stop straight away or did you finish it? Well, I kind of had to pretend I spilt my drink bottle and I just couldn't get out of there quick enough. I drove myself home and I had our daughter three hours later. Three hours? Holy moly.

Yeah, it was horrendous. Was that your first child, Kath? Yep, my first. That's hectic. That is crazy. See, there you go. Here I'm going like, no, you've got time. Nah, Kath, you were able to get yourself home.

Well, that baby could have been named Anytime Fitness. Push the kid out of your car. I can't believe you did it in the middle of spin class and didn't say, hey, guys, my water's just broken. Just, oh, I've spilled my water. I'm out of your car. I can't believe you did it in the middle of spin class and didn't say, hey, guys, my water's broken. Just, oh, I've spilled my water. I'm out of here. But I also love the idea. You know, there's a bit of a rule.

I thought there was rules at gyms. You clean up if you're sweaty. Kat just legged it out of there. And they're like, we're going to ban that lady. She didn't clean up her sweats. Gary's like, she's never welcome back. No. Have you tried to go back to that spin class really quickly?

No, never. Never been on a stationary bike. Fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. It induced labour. Thank you, Kat. That's exactly what we're after. 131060, what were you doing when your water broke? 131060, we're asking what were you doing when your water broke? We met Jamie yesterday on an unrelated topic, but she happened to mention slipping in her friend's amniotic fluid. Great wording.

A.k.a. her waters. Yeah. When she had come over to dye her hair. She was in the middle of packet dyeing. Oh, my God. I can't believe we didn't ask Jamie. Did she have to go to the hospital with half-done hair dye? Oh, that would have been annoying.

Because usually you wash that stuff out after two hours or something. That could have been disastrous. And Kath called in to say she was just in a spin class. That is one of the worst locations you could be in for the water break. You're already, like, you know, it's focused down. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. But then the baby came three hours later. Every journey is different.

Alicia, on 131060, what were you doing when the water broke? I was actually going through a KFC drive-thru. Alicia, what was your order? You're like, yeah, I'll have a Zinger burger and whoa, I've got a guy. Yeah. Exactly. Did you get the order at least and eat it on the way to the hospital? Well, the funny thing is I just dropped my husband off at his work Christmas party.

So I got that on the way home. I thought if my water broke or if I peed myself. So I called him when I got home and I said, I think my water broke. Don't tell anyone. Got changed, sat down, ate my zinger, happened again. And I went, no, my water broke. Okay, yeah, the rest has come out. Please tell me you had a son and you named him the Colonel.

No, I had a girl. She was called Singer? The question still stands. Thank you, Alicia. How good is popcorn chicken? I'd call a kid popcorn chicken. Lucy, hello. Morning, how are you?

So good, Lucy. What were you doing when your water broke? So I was three days overdue and I was just craving a bit of fruit, as I did with a girl. And we went over to Harris Farm and my husband and I went to go through the front door. And I thought I peed myself and no, no, it was my water. Yes.

And my husband asked, oh, do you still want to go in? I mean, we've heard about finishing the Zinger burger in between gushes. So it's a fair question. Yeah, fair question. So you didn't go in unimagined, Lucy? No, no. It's funny because it sounds like we thought it was going to be a full, you know. Yeah.

But it sounds like people don't know if they've weed themselves. Exactly. Or if it's this big gust. If you've got a craving, though, maybe you would be like, quickly grab me a plum. Now let's go, go, go. I'd tail it out of there. Keep calm and eat the plum. Amy, hello.

Hey, guys. How are you going? Good, Amy. So good, Amy. What were you doing when your water broke? My husband and I were having special time. Oh. Hey, were you trying to induce labour?

Because I've heard that's a thing. No, not at all. Okay, let's call it. And again, I was like, I so just did not wet myself. Yeah, well, you wouldn't have kind of, in that moment, treading lightly here at this time, you wouldn't have known what that was. No, no. That's a tricky time, you know, have known what that was. No, no. That's a tricky time.

You know, that's a tricky place to be doing. I mean, like we asked the zinger lady. Yeah. Ah. Good question. Did you, what, what, what immediately followed you having that sensation? I think we better go to the hospital. Two hours later.

Two hours later. Two hours. Okay, it's quick. Call me Julie. Amy's husband's like, God damn it. You sure, honey? Are you sure? Can we just keep?

Give me two more minutes. No. Amy, thank you. I'll be quick. Kathy. Kathy on 131060. Kath, good morning. What were you doing when your water broke?

I was actually having glamour photos done. I had the hair, the makeup done. Took an hour and a half to get all that done. Got one photo taken, then my water's broke. When you say glamour photos, Kathy, were you doing like a maternity shoot? Did you have the belly out? The Demi Moore style. I was depressed about being fat and pregnant,

so I thought I'd try and make it a positive. Yes. So you had the tummy out with the flowers around the boobies and all that. Yes. Oh, you were really going for it. Were you in a studio, Cathy, or in like a meadow? I was in a studio in Bankstown in Sydney, and my baby was placenta previa, which meant I wasn't allowed to go in labour.

So I jumped in the car, drove to the hospital, couldn't find a park, ran around the block, thought, forget it, just jumped in the car, drove to the hospital, couldn't find a park, round around the block, thought, forget it, just park in no standing, bolted into the hospital. They laughed. They'd never seen somebody show up for Labor looking as good as I have. You were so good at hearing, mate. Can you just get some photos of me with my legs up? Quickly. Here's my phone. Jess and Daco.

Say the same, say the same. The aim of a game is to say the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who voiced that? I don't know. That sounds good. It wasn't one of us. Was that Rita Ora? It was not Rita Ora.

That wasn't Babs. She was up in Queensland with... I know Kylie did our opener. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rita's in the country. She might have. What's her husband's name? Taika.

Taika Waikiki. Yeah, yeah, they're in the country. If we like it, it can stay. Yeah, I like it. Thank you, Rita. She the country. She might have. What's her husband's name? Taika. Taika Waikiki. Yeah, they're in the country. We like it. It can stay. Yeah, I like it. Thank you, Rita. Obviously, we can't sing. So I was like, who was that in the team?

I've been taking lessons, Ducker. It's another one of my hobbies. No, the idea of this game, you guessed it, is to say the same. We're going to start with just two random words said at the same time. And then we're going to work trying to get to the same thing. Yeah. We come up with the words. We've got five attempts to come up with the exact same word.

You've got to jump on each other's level, you know? Yes. I don't know what my first word's going to be. The first word's always a tough one. I know, right? Yeah. Okay. Are you sure I go?

Yep. You do the numbers. I'm going to do the numbers. We'll do that live. My apologies. Three, two, one. Seahorse. Oh, goodness me.

Goodness me. We've got keys and we've got seahorse. Seahorse was brought up in an early Alphabark. I was just so impressed with that answer. It stuck with me. See, now this is where it gets tricky because it's like, do we jump on the seahorse level? Like, you're in a house and I'm in the ocean. How do we even get to each other's environment?

I know. Habitat, if you will. Okay, I know. I've got it. I've got it. Three, two, one. Octopus. Melbourne Cup.

Where did Melbourne Cup come from? Horse. Sea horse. I've stayed in the ocean with you. Yeah, I know. And I know you hate octopuses. I tried to get closer to where keys would be. The keys are closer to Melbourne Cup?

On land. All right. Octopus and Melbourne. On land. All right. Octopus and Melbourne Cup. Okay. All right. You know that's a banned word on this show anyway. You don't want to talk about octopus. Okay.

Oh, I know. Three, two, one. Octopus and Melbourne Cup. Legs. Winks. Hey. Hey. That's right.

It's horse legs. Winks has legs. Winks is in Melbourne. You know. Ah, okay. Winks. Ah! No, don't do that. Okay, wait. We've got winks and we've got legs. Three. No, melt, you know. Winks. No, don't do that.

Okay, wait. We've got Winks and we've got legs. Three, two, one. Fast. Don't count too quick, okay? You've got to be quiet. I hadn't had time to think it through. Okay, so fast and nothing.

Okay, so we had Winks, legs, fast. Okay. Winks, legs, fast. Yeah, come on. Three, two, one. Winks. You're legs fast. Okay. Winks legs fast. Yeah, come on. Five, two, one. Win. Usain. Oh, no.

Win. Oh, no. No. Usain. Usain and win. Okay. We see where we are right. Oh, yeah.

I know. Do you know? We've done five. Usain and win. Oh. Is that it? Do you want to have one more? I want to get a small one.

Three. Wait, wait. Usain and win. Usain and win. Usain and win. Oh, is that it? You want to have one more? I want to get a small one. Ah, Usain. Wait, wait. Usain and win. Usain and win. Usain and win. Yes. Three, two, one. Gold medal.

Gold medal. Yeah! We did it! Gold medal! Yes! Maybe we need six. Well, technically, I didn't say anything for one. I froze.

Oh, yeah. I really froze. There's nothing harder than when you freeze. Good from us. Oh, we got there. And to start at Keys and Seahorse. It's a hell of a game. Oh, that felt good.

I encourage you to play with your partner at home. I played with Morgan the other night. We both got on the very first attempt because we said the thing in front of us. Try and give yourself a challenge. Yeah, then we try. Left of centre. Yeah. I'm very impressed with us.

And then one week we need to, maybe next week, you and me will do it. Okay. And then Shaga and Babs do it for five. I love that because they are often on the same wavelength. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then other times could not be further apart. Yeah. We could do it in the podcast.

It'd be a good challenge for you guys. Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Oh, I'm so impressed with us. There you go. Good win, guys. Great win, Sam. We've got a co-fod. Every day this week, our friends at Harvey Norman said,

look, school goes back next week. We know all the kids have BYOD requirements these days. They are the BYOD specialists. But, hey, why don't we encourage people to get involved in the show? Yep. They can either give it to the kid or keep it for themselves. We just did about, what do you reckon, 50 minutes ago. What were you doing when your water broke?

It was an inadvertent conversation we had yesterday when Jamie called up and said, I slipped in my friend's amniotic fluid because she was at my house dyeing her hair and the water broke and I slipped over it and then helped her. We heard from Alicia and she said this. No, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. I feel like, hold on.

She said. I was actually going through KFC drive-thru. Alicia, what was your order? You're like, yeah, I'll have a Zinger burger and whoa, I've got a guy. Yeah. Exactly. Did you get the order at least and eat it on the way to the hospital? Well, the funny thing is I just dropped my husband off at his work Christmas party.

So I got that on the way home. I thought if my water broke or if I peed myself. So I called him when I got home and I said, I think my water broke. Don't tell anyone. Got changed, sat down, ate my zinger, happened again. And I went, no, my water broke. Okay, yeah, the rest has come out. Please tell me you had a son and you named him the Colonel.

No, I had a girl. And that was enough to win Alicia the laptop. Well done, Alicia. Oh, my God, oh, my God, thank you so much. We never actually did ask, what did you name your daughter? Oh, yeah. Her name's Ava. Ava.

Ava, yeah, that beats Zinger, I guess. It really does. Yeah, it's a little bit better. I feel like you would really get typecast if your name was Zva. Ava. Ava, yeah. That beats Zinger, I guess. It really does. Yeah, it's a little bit better. I feel like you would really get typecast if your name was Zinger in the playground. Yeah, it'd be a tough carry. Alicia, thank you so much for joining the show. You enjoy that laptop. I will.

Thank you so much. You're very welcome. More chances tomorrow and Friday. It's a co-fob. We're doing it every single day this week. That's right. You get involved 131060. It's that easy.

Bada bing, bada boom. Don't forget to text the text line as well. 048888106. Text any time about anything. Absolutely. People are asking questions. Hey, how do I win a laptop? Well, it doesn't happen on the text line, but that's a fair place to ask for information. Always a fair place. You can always slide into

the DMs as well. Jess and Ducko. You had a very interesting one we're going to explore a little bit later on today, Ducko. Very interesting donation to a local op shop. I'm going to just say the words, torture device. Oh, goodness. But we'll explore that a little bit more in the pod. So we'll chat about it in the podcast.

You don't think it's good enough for on air? Well, I think it's a bit too... Oh, not appropriate. I think it's inappropriate. It goes in the extra bits. That's right. Okay. That's right. Okay. That's right.

You can get the podcast on Listen or wherever you get your podcasts as well. It usually goes up around midday. Back tomorrow for your Thursday. 10K Alphabucks is back tomorrow, as we said. The laptop's back tomorrow. And Thursday is Wordyoke. Wordyoke. Babs becomes...

Are we going to sort the Quizmaster out, Babs? That is you. How much sass you have in your everyday life, the sass needs to come into the games where you whip us into line. Trust me, I've been thinking about it all week. Thinking about is one thing. Executing is another. Are you going to permit the change?

I'm hoping I can step up. Okay, all right. I'm looking forward to that. Well, a hope is the first step. Yeah, that's, you know, hope is the first step. We're out of here. We're back tomorrow. We will see you then.

Bye-bye. Catch you later, shy guy. Don't need you anymore. Where's the duck, man? Again, we talk about yours gets smaller and mine gets bigger. What I'm hearing is you need people like me. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast.

The new loose change menu has dropped at Macca's. O-M-G. T's and C's apply.