Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | What if you need to like bang?

Episode Date: June 2, 2025

There's been a theft and the rice cooker community should be outraged! We ask what bit ya? Plus you could join as we celebrate Ducko becoming a dad! All details at hit.com.auSubscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range, now touring for a limited time. Jess and Ducco! This is the Jess and Ducco podcast. Morning, afternoon, evening, wherever you're listening, whenever. Whenever, welcome to the Jess and Ducco podcast. A little extra shot, if you will. Oh, speaking of shots, tomorrow on the show, we're giving Shy Guy a shot of caffeine. So at 6am this morning, you threw to Shy Guy saying like, hit us with the S word.

You know, a bit of a joke about swearing on air. Yeah, yeah. Shy Guy couldn't even come up with any S word as a joke to work around the swear. He goes, oh, my brain's not that fast. Well, the thing is, he's not a morning person, Shy Guy, which is also funny that he does breakfast radio. Been in breakfast radio for a long time, has also done every time slot. I've done every slot. But that's hard for a...

Has every slot done you? Got me here. Oh, very telling. No, but it was just this sort of thing where you go, you know, what could help sharpen your brain, a little bit of caffeine. Caffeine hit. So tomorrow on the show, how about a little espresso? It's half a sip.

Just a shot. There's nothing in it. Block the nose and get it down a hat. We're not telling you you have to drink a long black. I just want to see if it gives you any of those side effects. Like some people, for example, I'm not one. Some people can have one coffee and be like, I'm fucking buzzing or have two and they're like on drugs.

I get some the jittery, get the shakes or at least start getting a bit quicker in the old brain. Yeah. We just want to see if it gives you that drug effect. I don't think it'll make a difference to be honest. When you are so immune to caffeine, why do you think you'd be impenetrable to it and not more susceptible? I just think I'll be the same though. Interesting. Like your personality will counter attack the caffeine.

Maybe. Let it take its course though, don't fight it, you know what I mean? Don't fight it, don't try and be the same just for the sake of trying to prove the point. Okay. You gotta let it. You gotta let the guard down. You gotta let the guard down. Guard the guard down. Like if you start coming up with zingers on air, you start, you know, just getting a bit cheeky and naughty. So this is the thing, Darko, do we continue to throw to him?

Yeah, just like normal. Yeah, just like normal. We'll get Babs to monitor him and his behaviours. Yeah. Um, cause if anyone knows- Check the shapes. How he butters the bread. Yep.

If that gets a bit hectic. You know what we need? He needs to wear one of your watches to see the heart rate. Oh yeah. I got that. I can do that. Oh, you've got an Apple watch. Yeah. I forget. So do I.

I'm done at the gym like, oh, I should have logged that one. Oh well. Oh well damn. Yeah. What a great experiment. Yeah. We'll do that. We'll see how you go. We'll just log in.

We'll do it tomorrow at 6 AM. Can't wait. Coffee with shaker. We'll do it at, yeah. We'll do it at 6 10 or yeah. We'll just watch the effects. You're gonna need a.m. Can't wait coffee with shaga. I will do it. Yeah, we'll do it at 6 10 or yeah I'll just watch the effects. I don't need a whole break Okay, six o'clock open up six, then we're gonna blow the opener out Yeah, we did it we did a bit of fun today we're a bit long

Yeah, and a few things got bummed from today's show. So tomorrow's looking fun already And a few things got bumped from today's show, so tomorrow's looking fun already. Oh Jesus, gonna be good. Yeah, what did we, oh yeah we did, yep. I wanna show him the NASCAR prayer. Oh yeah. Yeah, well we can do it now. Your holy, holy, holiness has really come up a lot. Hasn't it just?

Yeah. The Eucharistic Minister side of you. I know. God, I'm holy. Anyway, when I saw this pasta, I thought, oh I wanna show Ducco. Funny though, if anyone in this team was going to hell, I think it would be me. Like, I let's- Can't argue with that part.

Can't argue. Yeah, I think it's gonna be me. I don't think it's going to be any of you three. Oh, I'm sure I'll be next on the list. Are you next on the list? St. Mary over here. What have you done? What's your worst sin? What's your deepest, darkest secret? She goes around pricking people

with pins who piss her off. You'd be voodoo doll in the freezer kind of shit. Sure. Yeah. You'd do some weird stuff. You would. Well, I guess you'll never know. Unless you go to- Oh, do you feel that pain? Ugh, it's bad.

It's bad, that's why my little back's been so sore. Why did you pull my hair out the other day, wrap around a Voodoo Doll? Yeah, yeah. We should still, I still wanna go watch one of your soccer games. You playing on Sunday next week? It's a long weekend, isn't it?

Oh yeah, no, I won't be going on Sunday, we're going to a festival. Fuck. Wait, are you going to Sunday next week? Um it's the long weekend isn't it? Yeah no I won't be going on Sunday we're going to a festival. Wait are you going to a festival too? This Sunday which one are you going to? The one over there? You can say about that. We're on a podcast. Carrington Crawl. Oh no what's that what's going on happening there? Just like a bunch of pubs in Carrington. Is it like is that like um the Cheeks vibe? Yeah yeah okay. There's like live music. Are they gonna yeah okay. When are we interviewing them? It's past May. They said May. Who said interview? I want them to come and do a cover of our own bass. We buttered

them up. Yeah yeah yeah. Jethro's in trouble at the moment. Why? Because no promo. No promo. He's in trouble for the Europe thing. Yeah yeah. I don't know if heard that one. We have to find something that Jethro's wanted to do for a long time and we do it with Babs. Yeah, need to do some brain story. Yeah, okay. Hey, when the chicks get interviewed, who's the speaker? Because there's four in the band, yeah? Yeah, um, I think they kind of take turns. Is he lead singer, Flynn? Because I'm always intrigued by the band. Do they go like, oh, the singer, the lead singer is everything or are they like a band where it's like, no, the drummer can speak and do the interviews. Yeah, like I think the drummer does speak quite a bit and Hayden's pretty good at speaking too. They're all pretty good at speaking.

Because what's Jethro? He's bass. If he doesn't start doing all the shit, he's going to get cut from that band. Their bass is the most exchangeable. He's got to be the interviewer. He's the winged defenceman. Take or leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. He's got to start doing some weird things. Doesn't he listen to the podcast every day? Can he do backflips like Benson Boone? No, he might have to learn. I'd say so.

What's Jethro's stage presence like? Yeah. He's pretty like, present. Do you get the fanny flutters when he's on stage? Yeah, does it actually turn you on? All jokes aside, do you look at it and go, oh fuck yeah, like that's hot. That's my guy. Or are you like? Yeah, well I don't think, oh yuckuck like I don't get the ick from it.

Well that's great I'm glad. So what's he doing because he's just on the bass is he just like eyes closed wailing on that thing? Yeah usually. Look at those fingers. Fuck yeah. Taking that bass for a walk. Ah. How did the conversation steal this man? Because we're talking about you going to hell. That's his sin. Babs is like, do that thingamove that you do so well. He's like, do you look at the other boys and go, no, he's good too. No, he's like, don't. He's good too. Question, because they don't listen to this, they don't even know. Do they, like any team, any in team environment, do they have fights with each other and bitch about each other? Will there ever be any like... They bicker a lot. they all live together too.

See that's a lot, that's a lot to be together, yeah. Doesn't one not live there though? Yeah one doesn't. Cause surely he's the one getting bitched about. He's on the outer. He's not there over dinner. One doesn't but he's there quite a bit and the other boys all live together.

Yeah no wonder he's there quite a bit, he's like I don't wanna be left out. Cause there's always gonna be one on the outer, like even if they're not friends then it's just on the outer. Yeah, well he's a little bit older I think. He's like stick with me guys. I'll show you how it works. Yeah Do that no, it'd be hard like do they ever fight and then like ask you like what do you think? Oh, Jeff will come to me and be like listen to this this happened today blah blah blah, I'm just like mate What sort of things do a band argue about?

Like song selection and when they play at their show or... Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. Also just like, someone did this and didn't ask the band's permission. Like they stepped in and did this and it like, now we look bad or something like that usually. Who runs their social media? I think they all kind of... Internal? They all, yeah, they all do it.

But it's more like if someone posed something and then they're like, oh, why did you post that? Who writes the songs? Is it all original? Yeah, it's all original and it's Flynn. Isn't it interesting, like one guy's writing the songs, so what, but it's a band, it's a group thing. So like Jethro coming in being like, that sucked.

How do you navigate that? Maybe it doesn't suck. He's like, should we change that word to this? If Link comes in and goes, there's an awesome song. Everyone's like, all right, all right. And we're hearing that, oh. Yeah. I think they're pretty brutally honest with each other.

And you need to be. You have to be. Like Bohemian Rhapsody, that movie. Yeah, yeah. What's his face? The guitarist would come in and Freddie Mercury would have an opinion. And it's like, you just want the best for the band.

It's been like this environment too, when you're putting things on the show and you know we're not coming up with music but it's creative. Collaborative, there's a lot of trust. Well they've known each other for a long time so I think they're kind of in the position where they can be like mates. Yeah you can't have an ego there. And they all live together so you know. So they all slap together on a reality show sort of thing. They should make a doco like Spice World back in the day.

Yeah. I put them on the map. Have you got someone documenting stuff? They usually do, yeah. They do themselves. They film stuff. And does the name Cheeks, is it butt cheeks or? No, there's an A in there.

There is an A. Oh. C-H-E-A. I actually don't know where it came from. Yeah, where did that come from? No idea. I was thinking like, is that a naughty like, cheeks of the butt or cheeks of the vag?

Like are they being like a bit naughty? Cheeky? Yeah, I don't know. No idea. Do you know what's not good? When you Google the cheeks, their spelling. Did you mean the cheeks like like a face cheek? That's not good. We need to get away from that. They tried to jump away from that for the way that that word spell. Say again, sorry. Urban Dictionary. No, not that. They tried to jump away from that spelling for this very reason. Holy shit. There's also the Cheeks band. Yes. Normal spelling of Cheek. Oh shut up. That's upsetting. No. Who are these people?

They've only got 800 followers. How many do the Cheeks have? More than that? Yeah, probably like 1500. Oh, 1800. Yeah. Like 1500. Oh, 1800. Yeah. Oh, these cheeks. Cheeks is a form of it. Here we go. Cheeks is another form of the word shut up, but more friendly. Oh, how would you use it in a sentence?

Hmm. Uh, hey shy guy, cheeks. Cheeks, bro. I kind of don't, it doesn't really work. Yeah, that makes no sense. Can you go back and ask Jethro? The origins of cheeks. Can you get him to a voice memo and we'll play it.

Oh yeah. He's been on the show. Does he um, does he listen ever? Yeah he does. Just like sporadically if he's in the car or cruising. And like if I tell him I'm like listen to this and then he's like haha. Do you always tell him when the blog's on? It's my blog tomorrow. Yeah what do you tell him to listen to your blog? Yeah he usually says like what are you going to talk about tomorrow and I explain. And his housemates always ask too. Oh, that's good. See? There's some interest.

Yeah, there is. We're getting them in. Yeah. One of the girlfriends always listens and will text me if she hears me. That's nice. You realise when you do this job, how many people do listen and people you didn't expect. And you're like, oh, that's random. And then people say like, you said this, I'm like, did I?

Yeah. Ah, you don't know. Welcome to the Fog. Welcome, welcome. Yeah, the Fog. Yep. You have no like, you said this, I'm like, did I? Yeah. Ah, you don't know that. Welcome to the fog. Welcome, welcome. Yeah, the fog. Did I say that? Yeah, you have no idea what you said. It's always something just so silly.

And I'm like, oh, that's what YouTube's out about. It's amazing what sticks out. Yeah. It's crazy, isn't it? All of my friends, I caught up with some yesterday at lunch, and they were like, oh, how about all those issues you had on Friday? I was like, well, it's just one thing for about five minutes.

That's all they remembered from the show. Yeah. You know how Babs has to sit with boss Jase and go through her day and they talk about things for the block. How come you don't have to do that? I do do that. Yeah. We just discovered that there's nothing interesting.

Sure. Bullshit. Bullshit man. No Babs can attest. We do it together. No, we do do it together. And Chaka hasn't. But you catch up with all these friends.

You're not even out of your friends. Sometimes you go away for holidays. friends. We do me and then we do that. You do catch up. Sometimes you go away for holidays. How is milk in the anal glands of your mum's dogs? That didn't happen. So it's not. Yeah, but you had to go to your mum's. There was mums involved. There's friends involved.

I did actually. Engagements involved. I accidentally took mum's phone with me yesterday and I got 70% of the way home and I had to turn around. Oh, well there you go. There's something there. There you go. You're telling me you can't make anything out of that. 13, 10, 60.

Oh no you took what when? Oh my god you fucked your mum over how? Yeah yeah. 13, 10, 60. Oh I fucked my mum how? Over the show guy. Again, not with that word. Yeah yeah yeah.

Oh Mrs Guy's on the phone. I didn't think there was anything in it to be honest. Look we've done this for two minutes and we've already come up with three phoners. See you've it tomorrow. No the moments go all right. Well. That's fine. No. I'll bring it back Yeah, we're not the words of boss J. He's putting too much pressure on young Babs Yeah, not enough on the guy with Babs got her blog. What's she gonna have shaggy shingles love that? I've got a lot of other I do a lot of of games and diaries. You do, and the Draggs did get pulled because of his delivery, so. Babs had a book every day for last week.

Famously, you're not good when you've got too much time to prepare for a chat. We've just got to really just work off the cuff. But also two off the cuffs is not good. There's a sweet spot for sure. There is a sweet spot, but he's been in Brady for 15 years. We can't have worked that sweet spot out by now. Hey, at least it's generous, thank you.

Let's start with caffeinating him. Then we'll see where we go. That's what it is. It's coffee at the end of the day. Ducker and I can't be holding this ship up on our own. It's a team sport. Is that a possibility? My back hurts. Is it possible to be extra tired? What lesson did we just learn from the Cheeks? We all pull our weight in different ways. Shy Guy?

You're right now, you're the bass player who doesn't do interviews, all write songs. You're Jethro. So I'm- Your only contribution to the Instagram is spelling mistakes. So we need to lift. Are you busy in other ways? He's busy. Thank you.

I am. Post 9 a.m. I'll give you calibrations. How's I got in trouble yesterday for texting Shy Guy out of work hours? No. Fuck off. What?

No, that was a joke. Oh, okay. That's good. Because you didn't follow it up with anything. Hang on. Did you think it was legitimate? Yeah. Read it out.

What time of day was it? Start with your message and then remind me. This is my message to you. At what time? 1pm yesterday. I know you were a bit of a slut for a pop banger. This is fascinating. Addison Rae's new song is good.

It's called Fame is a Gun. And then he said, it must be good if you're sending me this recommendation during out of office hours. Hang on. Let me provide context there. That wasn't in reference to my office hours because I don't care. But Babs was famously going to text you guys about something and say the office hours thing. So that was a play on that guy. What were you going to text you guys about something and say the office hours thing so that was a play on that guy. What are we gonna text? Well sometimes I send automated responses like I make up a text message that says sorry you're text is really out of office hours. So when we put in our group chat and you don't respond. I used to do it when I was on the street team people that used to ask me to take their shift and then they thought it was real. That's quite a gig. I used to get a kick out of it but yeah. But then no one can tell if you're joking or not.

Yeah, no, and then I was like actually yeah. It's funny because you don't reply much out of office hours. Like when we message in groups. I wasn't saying about my office hours. I'm so bad at it. Like I see messages and then go oh yep and I think I reply and then I'm like shit I didn't reply and now it's too late. At the moment it's past.

Can you look up that song? Addison Rae. Do you remember when I sent Babs a full video of my child being like, look Babs, she's milk chugging. And I watched it and I showed Jethro as well and we're like sitting there going like, oh my god. It's one thing to ignore us, it's another thing to ignore a baby. What's the song called? Yeah, sorry. I have no idea. It's called Fame is a Gun. I think it's really good. Would that be in our system already?

I'd assume so. Jesus, it is. Have we played it already? We haven't. Not active for the current market. Hold on, this is what Have we played it already? We haven't. Not active for the current market! Hold on, guys. This is what I've got to do for everything now. It's just a real me problem, but...

I was just listening to it on my walk. I forgot to hear it. Let's live sample it together. You say it goes nowhere. It probably does. And I point it blank, crush it by a girl Baby, swallow it dry But you gotta fumble, see it I really like it I think you're gonna taste of a girl

I think I need to hear it in its entirety I don't think it'd be good Just being a pretty girl And now she's put out like five singles and they're all good But I think they are This is very you Is it? I can't see Sjogla like in this, but I think they are. This is very you. Is it? I can't see Shy Guy liking this, I'll be honest with you.

I don't. She sounds a bit like- I don't think we'll add it. I don't mind it, I don't not like it. Should we make it to the breakfast playlist? I don't think. She sounds a bit like Selena Gomez. Yeah.

Don't they all? Don't they? And that's my issue, don't they? I don't not like this though, like it's, yeah. Could be something going on. It's no arbitrage, you know? No, I was just trying to-

That's Shy Guy's pocket. Last time I sent, you know? No, I was just trying to- That's Shy Guy's pocket. Last time I sent Shy Guy a song recommendation, he was like, oh this is shit, and I was like, I do really like this song. No, that's true, Sally. I do like that song. So I'm like, maybe I need to be helping. I messaged Babs about a song recommendation over the weekend too, about the new Lord song.

I said, it slaps, I like it. You didn't get her out of office message. No. You got a reply. She just goes, yeah, I'm excited for the album, I said me too, and that was the end of that. Okay. What did you want me to say? No, I mean, that was all I expected. I sent Babs song.

Take what we can get. I sent you songs only once. Uh, yeah, I like song requests. Yeah. And you hadn't heard of it. It's fun. Anyway, so yeah, I got in trouble for, yeah, for texting. I don't know.

So that's fine. With your own gear though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taste of your own medicine. Bit of bands from the, from the producers. Producers. I just texted Babs. That song's shit. Broadcasting live! I'm running and tuning out All I want is the noise Turn it up, turn it up

It's about to go off Yes! Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Your supplementary clue is it contains six vitamins and minerals. Oh, hot damn. Oh wow. Producer Babs. So like, does it matter? Big shows and big vibes in 2025. This is Jess and Ducco. Lights, camera, action.

Howdy, howdy, let's get ready. Yeah, let's rip open a fresh can of Monday, baby. Good morning. To answer Babs, yes, it does matter. It all matters this matters right here right now a bit of joy

a bit of fun a couple of laughs with your pals a couple of lols good morning morning team wonderful to see you I was broadcasting from the terracotta palace my parents abode on Friday

wonderful to see you in the flesh again duck man we had issues on Friday with that with the studio oh they were gremlins galore. Babs couldn't work under the conditions. The team was malfunctioning, but we're back on now. Absolutely. How's everything on your side? Good. Feels good?

Looks good, feels good. Alright. We're good to go. Got us in delay, no worries. Yep, we can swear all we want. Here we go, baby. Should I go let out a big S-bomb? No.

See, S I wouldn't have dumped. Yeah, nah, S is fine. F I would have dumped. Sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could have said any S word there. I was like, I got foggy or more S word to you. Do you know what?

Shy Guy does not caffeinate. No. Should we give him a long black, or just an espresso one day just to suss his vibe? Okay, my buttons have started going a bit weird. The same problem. Wait, are we? Oh, that problem?

Yeah. Oh, fun. Are we on air? We're back on though, they're back on. Okay, no one, yeah, we're good, we're good. No, we're still on air, we're on air. We're still on air. Yeah, anyway, we're actually not able to press anything.

Okay. But we're good. Sorry, back to Sharga getting coffee. What I was gonna say is I wonder if it'd be interesting to give him a coffee at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning and then gradually see how much sharper or quicker his brain can be. I don't think it will have an effect. If anything it might make me angrier. It could make me shorter.

Hang on, for someone who hasn't... I think I'll be the opposite. The caffeine dip? Yeah. You should try it. Have you ever had a mood to it? I've tried coffee, I just don't like it. I mean no one likes coffee when you first have it. It's like beer.

No, but I tried it years ago when I worked in Sydney. I reckon... And it was like for sours, it just wasn't for me. I just don't like it. I mean, no one likes it when you first have it. It's like beer. No, but like I tried it years ago when I worked in Sydney. I reckon. It just wasn't for me. I tried it for like a good... Did it make you jittery? No, it kind of had no effect. And I stopped drinking it because I didn't like the taste. Your nerve endings would be like, bing.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I'd love to see. For someone who hasn't had it in their body. We'll just give you a shot. Block the nose. Just have a shot. I just want to see if it has any effect. An espresso is half a sip.

Yeah, yeah. And we've got some great beans now. Can we just let us caffeinate you? I just want to see. Make me a coffee, that's fine. Just a shot? I don't think anything will happen. Oh, we can do team coffee shots.

Yeah, I reckon we will. This is the closest we'll get to tequila in this team. This is the gateway. This is the gateway. I see. Also, Shargo is a coffee addict. I know. He can come in our bean rotation. Yeah With the bean boys

I know you know what I went to start a new group chat We just duck on back to talk about our beans, but then it felt like we were talking about Yeah Excluding you. Yeah, we would never want to do that We only exclude one another for birthdays. Yeah yeah yeah. We're planning. But beans you're in the chat. Yeah beans are in the in the group chat. It's just good to be a croft so I know you guys will be if we don't have any beans. Well that's exactly it. Not good. Do you take energy drinks? No I didn't even in school.

Can you really drink something? He barely sips out of that Stanley Cup knockoff which allegedly has water in it. It does have water. The guy does not hydrate. Yeah, I'm trying to be better. What's your thing? Like do you take... How do you get through? What are you... I can't afford that.

What's your vice, brother? Oh, I see, I see. What's your treat? Of a Friday when you're unwinding after a big old week and let's be real Friday was a tough day. So you needed to unwind. What do you do? Kick your shoes off, put your moccasins on and then wipe them? Like Tim Tams. Are you a double coat boy? Double coat and dip it in milk?

Yep definitely. And then what's it called? The slammer? Yeah the Tim Tams slam. Where your butt ends off and suck it up? Yeah. That's you, baby. I've not done that. But um, the lollies, the um, the snakes, the all natural flavoured snakes. Oh, so that's a naughty night fish eye lord. Yeah. I have a whole packet. Oh, because you don't drink alcohol famously. I get a pimpley like two days later. Yeah, that's a fair bit of sugar going into the lollies.

While watching the F1, a packet of snakes, and the heater on. Hey, shout out to your mate Oscar Piasferes, well all of our mate, but your spirit animal, getting a win at the Spanish Grand Prix overnight. He's doing very well. Did you have a bet on him? No I shouldn't, because I thought he was going to win. He's doing so well, it's incredibly proud. Very young, isn't he? Yeah, super young.

Very impressive. Suck it Lando. Suck it Lando, I'll see you later. Bye! Lando came second. Yeah, still very impressive suck it Lando suck it Lando I'll see you later bye Lando came second yeah still but second like true second mate if you're not first you're last in F1 that's off I'm telling you nice baby Ricky Barbie Ricky Barbie and my sister's kid just ran cross-country and she like made it through to her like state championships right and she didn't do any training she really wanted to win but she's a natural athlete yeah she came like 21st and mum goes oh bro came 21st i just sent back a meme filming up first your last mum was like stop it she did so well i was like

none this family none this family you want to carry the alan ducat name we're gonna have to be cracking at least for a second or third 21st get that out of the group chat, bro. What music? Do you know what's so funny? We literally rubbed it off the board, but I had a Nazcar prayer I wanted to share with you. I want to hear it. This time tomorrow, I'm going to play it, ring up Talladega Nights, because it'll work beautifully. That segue was unbelievable. Okay, alright. But it got rubbed off the board.

We're saving it. Hey sweet Babs, how you doing? Oh yeah, Babs. I'm good. She's so innocent out there. Rock on. Are you still a bit sick? Yeah, still a bit congested.

All right, you and Jess, both a little bit, you know. Or you had, can we talk about what you had? We can. Yeah, you had. Because for not a long time, for a very long time I've not suffered this ailment. You had the speedy bum. Was it vomiting too?

No. Purely back end. Purely back end. And you know me, Duggo, usually down, it's all good. Yeah, it's fine. Oh my god. Three bean quesadilla absolutely did a number on me. I think.

Was it you said, no you've never been constipated? Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. Crazy. So you've got the three bean quesadilla on the flight to Victoria. I know. And that's what cooked you.

So four, and I'll tell you a bit later, I was down in Victoria throwing my parents a surprise party. Yeah. Like those Spanx were working overtime keeping everything in. When I told my brother how unwell I was, he goes, how'd you get through the night? I said, lot of clenching, bro. Lot of clenching. Did you ever have to go to the toilet during the night? Ah, I did, but I was able to just like...

Yeet the undies aside so I never take them off. Jeez. Classic. They're too hard to get take them off. Oh, jeez. Classy. They're too hard to get on and off. So I was like just... Yeet them. Just yank them to the side.

Yeah, good. And using the word yeet too. You're so young. You're so cool. I am, aren't I? Thank you so much. I could just smile from you using the word yeet. Did I use it correctly?

Sure. Oh, that feels like a no. Hey, look, I'd love to talk about you yeeting your undies off of your diary all you want. We've got a big show. We've got Alf Vox. Your chance at $10,000. We have Fridays Live tickets every single day on the show. Pardon? Fridays Live, pam pam pam. You're listening out for the rap one, which sounds like... Oh, we're not playing it? Sounds like...

Bwaaam! I couldn't find it. Is that what it sounds like? No, not really. Is it not the... Mwa mwa mwa mwaaam! There's a few different iterations. There is, that's why I didn't want to play the wrong one. You know it when you hear it. I'll play it for you next. Eventually. You listen after that you win yourself a double. But when you play it next that's an example. That's an example yeah yeah yeah but it can play anytime ads, it can play in the songs.

Mariah, Pitbull, Lil Jon, Sean Sparks, Tiny Temper. Yeah. Don't go anywhere. Up next though, I've got to tell you about a new coach that I think we could all get into and earn some money. How many coaches can you have, bro? That's for you. Okay. Jess and Ducco.

Jess and Ducco. Now did you know in America, every 42 seconds, a couple's ending their marriage? Is that the stat? That's apparently the stat coming out of... That feels like it'd be more than 50%. I thought the divorce rate these days was 50%. If you're getting divorced every 42 seconds, are people getting married every 42 seconds to offset that? Maybe, there's a lot of people over there. It does say 50% is the divorce. It is? Okay. Is the divorce rate. It's very quick. But 42, every 42 seconds a US couple ends their marriage. So now people are hiring a divorce coach. So the marriage therapy didn't work.

So now let's get a divorce coach. To what do this the best we can? Yep, he's a divorce and recovery coach. This is obviously overseas. I'm making him an ideal person to provide guidance and support while distressed people are trying to stay afloat during their difficult time. So he's not trying to keep them together to avoid divorce. He'll get you to the finish line. He's almost like a divorce lawyer before the lawyer. It's kind of like, alright guys let's be amicable here, let's sort this out.

Let's talk about our assets. Clients phase out emotional reactions, he gives them information from their legal cases, he works with their attorneys and works back with them. He provides them extra support and helps strategize a plan for post-divorce life. However, that looks with the kids. Oh, see, that's a big one. But when you've both got an individual lawyer who fight for your rights, how is this guy staying Switzerland?

Because no one can stay neutral in a divorce, usually. No one can. And if we're talking American, I've never heard of an amicable divorce. No, how's this though? His fee starts at $1,600 and then you pay him $300 an hour. What a genius. Hang on. This is...

What a genius. I'm sorry. He's getting clients. Yep. People are booking him. Hey, need and demand, you know what I mean? There's a want for it. Absolutely.

People are... There's always, there's always, that's why I say we could do it. Like we could be divorced. We could sit in a room and do some mediation. Exactly. We could be divorce coaches. I can't fathom like how he works within the most potentially awful time of someone's life, but has to play the middle ground. Do you know what I mean? Like if she's going, he cheated on me, how's he going, yes but Sarah, let's all come together and be amicable and this and that. That would be actually a really hard job. You reckon? I reckon.

You're like a divorce lawyer, you just get so used to it. But see divorce lawyer, again I'm going to have them come for me. That feels easier, because you're just satisfying one person and trying to destroy the other. Whereas playing the ump, it's essentially a referee, right? You're the middle person. You're the middle person and you've got to destroy the other. Whereas playing the ump, it's essentially a referee, right? You're the middle person. You're the middle person and you've got to play both sides. But the longer it goes on the better for you because the more money you get. I mean, 300 an hour. Not mad about it. Exactly. He says, marriage can be a beautiful

thing but it requires work and intention in addition to love. What a genius. Yeah, marriage can be a beautiful thing but he's now working on the divorce. Yeah I know, I know, ridiculous. Would you offer some mediation services, Dukko, if someone has a bit of an issue? Absolutely. Slide in. Yeah. So this is, how much will you charge? Not 300? Not 300, not yet, but I will get there. You get there. I will get there. Not 300 yet, but 150, 200. 200? That's a bargain off this guy. Let's cut this guy off with the legs. Absolutely. Right now, Daco, we often talk about the 24-hour news cycle and how the internet can turn on a dime.

But never have I seen an example of that as clearly as I have the past couple of weeks. Now, I'm going to give you some dates because they're important to show you how short of amount of time we're talking about. On April 22, TikTok was introduced to a dude named Luke Bateman. Now, I had never heard that name before, never seen his face before, but this video popped up in my, you know, little feed. Turns out you might not form a Canberra Raiders lock. Yeah, I'm not too familiar with him. Yeah, you know what? This article is calling him one-time NRL star. Okay. Because how many played one game?

Sounds like it. That may be. He was also in 2023, one of the three bachelors on The Bachelors. Remember they were trying to reinvigorate the series? They had three. They had a multiple. He was one of them. I'll miss that too. But anyway, he jumps on TikTok, specifically BookTok. Now you know, TikTok has different little factions. BookTok, obviously, where people want to talk about books. This is how Luke introduced himself to the internet.

I love books my entire life. Love fantasy. Fantasy is my main go-to. Love of all things fantasy. I've never really had anywhere to talk about it or share those things, because obviously being a male in a lot of blue collar work and from the country, not a lot of emotional depth in the men around me, not many readers. So he's a good looking dude. He loves fairy porn.

He's coming at us from a tractor and then he talks like that and the internet swooned, Ducker. He amassed 177,000 followers on TikTok. That's what I should have done. You should have done. When I read all Sarah J. Mass's books, spoke about it. You've got things to contribute in this space. Luke has jumped in on this.

He does do a couple of videos on the Akita series. Okay, right. Yeah. But again- So he's a genuine reader. This isn't fake or staged. He actually loves- You tell me.

Yeah, okay. I don't, like, I took him for his word, but I also take everyone for their word on the internet because I'm gullible and soft. Yeah. But people loved that. He then was getting so much attention very quickly from particularly women in the space, talking about the fantasy and those sort of books. People like Babs would have loved it.

Absolutely. Were you familiar with him Babs? Did you see this? I have seen him on TikTok. Yeah. Okay. Did you like what he was putting down? You thought, look at this.

Give you the flutters? You know, blue collar bloke talking about these fairy books. I mean it's pretty cool but and I'm on Book Talk so it's interesting. It's interesting well he went on and he kept talking about particularly these fantasy books. Yes. I enjoyed this video in particular. It looks like you women really love your smut and And I'm going to comment back and I quote that said, we call it clitorita. And the sp- You call it what? So he's got some personality anyway, Daco.

So he's the darling of the internet and he's sharing recommendations and he's reading things that have been recommended to him. As I said, April 22, he's the darling of the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come May 27. So just over four weeks later. things that have been recommended to him. As I said, April 22 is the darling of the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come May 27. So just over four weeks later, he announces that a publisher has come knocking on his door and offered him a two book fantasy book deal.

They want him to write two books. And he does a very heartfelt video where how just amazed he is and how grateful and excited, but he says the phrase, I don't have anything written. Oh, I've got an idea, but I actually don't have anything written. And the internet has turned. Booktalk has turned on this guy. Because a lot of these people are aspiring authors themselves. And they've been trying to pitch books and they've got ideas and even other readers are going hang on a minute

they're comparing it to him getting drafted without ever having picked up a wall. Oh it's ridiculous just because he's got some followers online because he likes reading the fantasy. Because he said he's got the hardest series to write, like the depth you need. The length of most of those books, they're not a couple chapters. No, they're like 800, 900 pages. This good looking young Aussie book has got a two book deal. They fell for him because he didn't actually read or anything. No, someone's come and offered him a book deal.

Two Atria Books Australia have said, we want to work with you. We'll give you two books. Two books. Does it make you angry, Babs? It does make me angry. Why does it make you angry? Cause you're not a writer. You're not aspiring to write. I think it's because a lot of people on TikTok are now just being handed things

and people are actually working for them. But then because they're like an influencer, they just get it. You've articulated that very well. A lot of people are saying, so what, all you need to be is, and now people are saying really personal things, oh, just generically look good looking. And now people are calling race and gender into it, of course, where they're going, oh, he just got handed his thing. That is ridiculous that you got to handle a book deal. It feels like such a niche thing. Two books. Two books.

Was he going to be the main character in this clitoris? How's it it gonna work? Insert himself into that, into the clit-riture, but isn't that crazy? So in just over a month the internet has completely turned, he's still got of course a lot of people saying congratulations, this is amazing. I can't wait to see his books. So... Sure they'd be trash!

Mate, I'm not gonna compare him to George R.R Martin, but that bloke, he took decades. You take, you need years and a lot of stress and anxiety. Usually you colour your hair and you have big glasses. I'd love to see the details in the contract. Have they said like, you need to punch it out in the next two months while your TikTok fame is still hot. Or he's got to be the main character. Because women will think he's attractive. So if they're reading his book and picturing it It's him exactly exactly how do we capitalize on that? Some people are saying did the pub did he actually have a book deal and the publisher went but you've got no online presence Was a reverse engineered comes out manager became a he's a really good author

Book talk eat their words Now we hate him back. They won't book talk eat their words. Watch this space. He's on TikTok who we build up and now getting too many things and I hate them. We made you famous and now we're mad about it. You cannot win. You can't. You cannot.

Let's play Alphabux. That's something you can win. You can win that. 13 10 6 you want to win $10,000. Give us a call to play Alphabux. We'll play with you next. It's like if you win Alphabux like, oh, hang on a minute, they don't deserve it, why? Check it out, check it out, turn it up,

Jess and Ducco in the morning. Jess and Ducco's 10K Alpha Bucks on Hit. Alpha Bucks. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions, all started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer, you cannot use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, you can say pass. We'll come back of course if there's time.

We're playing for $10,000. Our player today is... oh look at this. Sit up a bit straighter. Uh oh, we've got Stacey. Hello Stacey. Hi. Stacey, Stacey, good morning to you. How are you feeling for this Monday? Ready to win some cash? Oh I'd love that. Start the week off perfect. Oh yeah. Absolutely. What would you spend the money on? I would take my family on a holiday. Beautiful. Didn't even think about it. Yeah, didn't think about it. Where are we thinking Stace? Ah, Queensland. Yeah. Beautiful. Up north. Sunshine state. Yep. Chasing the sun. Yep, gotta do it. One thing stands between you and hey, a trip to the Gold Coast perhaps, is the letter G. G for Gold Coast. Okay Stace? Okay. She was just rushing through. All those G words. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter G, we need you to name a bird. A TV show. A country. A watch brand.

Garmin. A car part. Oh, a car. A dip. Green. A periodic element. Gin. Whoa, what'd you say, periodic element? Gin?

Gin? No. I don't think so, but geez, you're a player. That was unbelievable Stacey! I uh I've lost there we go. I uh the the only thing I had a type of cheese now you're the cheese whisperer. I am I don't think we can accept Greek babe let's just say it. No, it's a Gree. Gree? Yeah, Ghee, Gree. Oh well Ghee is a fat and brie is a cheese. Have you combined those? Ah, I was like, this could be a new cheese.

Sorry, I thought I heard grea. I don't know. I don't know. Which would leave you with seven. Type of cheese could have been gouda or goat's cheese, a carpart, the gear stick, and the periodic element could have been gold, is what we're after there. Oh, yep.

Everything else, you absolutely drilled. You're a great under pressure. Incredible. Grape juice. Bang! Yeah, you had some great answers in there and you don't go by empty-handed 100 I'll spend online at muck hair. Oh, thank you. Thank you Stacey not taking the kids to Queensland, but the hair will look fabulous And how do I pick that up? Oh, let's drop by you stick on with Babs after this and she will run it through you You know, we have no had someone clarify price fulfilment. I'm usually all fan.

I love that Stacey. And I feel like you can probably get it online. Maybe. You don't need to pick it up. 100 bucks to spend on my mat. We'll text it to you Stacey. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Actually Stacey, let's learn the process.

Babs, what happens from here? So I take their phone number and pop it into our system and then they get an automatic text message they've just got to click on the link type in their details and then someone will get in touch and email them the next day. The promo team will email, Stacey thank you we've all learned something today. We've all learned. Okay thank you. Thank you. We do play again at 8 o'clock for $10,000. Jess and Ducko. Hey, it's Babs and this is my blog. Commence Operation Superstar Pratt. This is going on nearly a fortnight where Babs shared her dismay. A heartbreaking tale.

A heartbreaking tale. Actually needing our advice. Funny you brought up divorce coaching earlier, Ducko. We may need to have stepped in. Granted, they're not married, but they are allegedly in love. Jethro ditching sweet Babs, his girlfriend of three years, to go to Europe with Du Bois. Now on paper, he's allowed to travel with friends,

Babs has expressed multiple yearnings. Yeah, I'd love to travel with you. I want to go to Europe. It's on my bucket list. He's gone. I'm gonna go with Du Bois this year. Yeah, yeah, and Babs is you. I want to go to Europe. It's on my bucket list. He's gone I'm gonna go with the boys. Yeah. Yeah, and Babs like please can we go together? He said no, I'm going the boys I want to go with the boys Babs his friends are disgusted The boys obviously not disgusted, but then you because you're going overseas I am we have a trip booked for July you came up with what I think is one of the great ideas And you said this You can get yourself to Milan I will pay you a per diem. So look after the baby 9am till 1pm you get the evenings, afternoons and evenings which is really

where Italy comes alive. That's 180 Australian a day they're gonna pay you? Yeah it's probably more than I get a day. Take that. I think it'd be a good middle finger to Jethro too. Probably would be. Because he's just gonna he's gonna come back bankrupt, whereas you are, she'll probably come out on top. Nothing screams middle finger like mining someone else's kid over a suit. Me and Luthor are just in the corner, just both screaming. Well, you're not allowed to scream when she's screaming. Don't answer it now. Think about it.

I genuinely took that to Angus. You did, I know you did. I can tell when you're serious. He was on the fence, but Lucia happened to crack it in that that moment and he went whatever, see if she'll take us up. This idea, albeit a joke, has now spun into something. And then what happened is Babs couldn't come back, that was last Wednesday. Thursday Babs was having a sex with her boyfriend so she was always sick. Not that he deserved it, like after all that she still put out a sputiculus. I was so sick.

And then Friday Jess was in the terracotta palace. That's right. So we, allegedly there's been a response. Babs has been brewing. This is the first time we've been together properly. I can't wait to hear yes or no, or asterisk. Babs, what say you? I've got a lot of questions.

Ooh, good. Yeah. So you're saying a hundred dollars, 180 dollars a day, sorry. Yes, I said 80 euro and you want to lock that in Yep. Okay. Is this solely for me? What if Lucia needs money? Oh, no great question Because we might need like a Babs card and a Lucia card. Yes Yes feeding Lucia or caring for whatever if she points at a pair of shoes and she wants them You bought them. She'll have her own Amex. She will have her own card. Cool. Yes. We'll get you one of those travel cards,

loaded with euros. Hers has more on it, so swipe that. Yeah, I was just saying. It doesn't need to come out of your per diem. Okay, cool. Okay. Would you trust me to take Lucia on adventures? E.g. if I wanted to go tan on the beach and read a book, would she tan on the beach too? Okay, can we clarify the word adventure? Because that is not an adventure. It's for me! No, that's not an adventure. I would love you to take her on adventures, tanning on the beach is not an adventure. Whilst my daughter's name is Lucia Margarita, she inherited her husband's, her father's

pale Aussie skin. She cannot have a her husband's her father's pale Ozzy skin She cannot have a lot of sun exposure. What if we have an umbrella? The babs is pale too, they'll both burn I'll have to have an umbrella So yeah, I'll be sun safe If you can keep her son safe Oh, yeah, and you can read your smutty novels while that child is gonna be sitting quietly next to you. I guarantee it Not moving, not playing

We have toyed with being a leash family because she is a runner So if you want to leash her. Oh, please get a leash in Europe. Oh, nothing will make me happier. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Accommodation.

Is this paid for? Because you said you just, if I can get myself there. That's true. Yeah, that's true. I need to shelter you, don't I? So that means, do you have enough bedrooms already? Cause yours is booked, right? Correct.

So you booked like- Could you do cot on the floor? What if you and Angus need a bed? Like bang? Did you see how uncomfortable that was for her? Well hang on here we go. Did you just have a bleed? That's where you and Lucia go on your adventures. We time things up. At 10 p.m. No, I told you you're on deck 9-1.

Bit of compromise Babs. Angus and I will work around you. Oh this is great. Okay, do you have lots of flying points at the moment? Yes. Okay, so could I potentially, if I book my flights, get them upgraded? That is actually a possibility. That's a great question. Having said that, she's thought them upgraded. That is actually a possibility. That's a great question. Having said that, she's thought about that. Angus is flying my best friend up for a week, a girls weekend?

On points. Can he fly me somewhere? Once again, where do people get freaking points? Where do you get these points from? Maybe we need to get Angus on and we'll do a points dissection. Can you just help me with points? I've never had a point. He's flying Mel so we can have a girls weekend. And he's like, don't tell her I'll just use all my points to get her.

What's he doing? I don't know. I need to get some credit cards or something. So, yes. Yeah, okay, cool. That's good to know too. Asterix, I don't, that's not my domain. Can I take that back to Angus? Sure. Okay. These are good questions. Is that, what's the word, ultimate,

is that you have to have that? No, I was just curious. I'm just trying to see what I can take really. Good work. Fair. Jeez, she's a great negotiator. She's really going for it, isn't she? I'm just, you know, might as well.

If I get bored and want to come out for dinner with you guys, am I allowed? If you get bored. And will you pay for it? Let's just work this out. So nine till one, you are on deck. I don't wanna hear you're bored, nine till one. No, no, like say it gets to like 5pm and I'm like, oh, I don't really feel like having dinner by myself.

Oh, with pleasure. Would you be weird if I'm just sitting at the table? I would love you to join, but I'm not paying for that. Cause that's your time. So that's out of the $180. The restaurants they go to, just get the entree, mate. Yeah, I know. But to be fair, in Italy, entrees is the pasta course.

Ah, so true. That's all we usually get anyway. Oh, this is all working out. I'm not paying for your veal scallopini, but you can pay for your own Cacio e Pepe. Obviously. Yeah. Do you have any other questions?

Yeah, there's lots of concerts going on during that time. In Europe? Yeah. Okay. And would you be opposed to like paying for them or like I don't know. You ducking into a concert. Yeah. Do you have an example? Well I've written some down. So during that time Olivia Rodrigo's playing, the Stone Age are playing, Milan, the Who playing, the Smashing Pumpkins are playing, and Empire of the Sun are playing. Empire of the Sun? Yeah. If they, god they've been brought up a few times, Empire of the Sun. If they are playing in the city we are in, you can have one.

But I'm not paying for transport to get you out of the region. Can she take Looch here to the concert? Yeah. That's an adventure. Olivia Rodrigo, yes, Queens of the Stone Age, no. Looch loves smashing pumpkins. Yes, she'll love it. I don't actually know Queens of the Stone Age.

Well this has been very productive. This didn't go the way I thought it would. This? Really? No. To be honest, this all feels very... If this is what's going to keep her happy, this doesn't feel that bad to me. If these are the conditions, I'll be that. I'll take the chance. Now we've got a negotiation. Ducco's going to come to New Zealand. Stuff the family holiday in New Zealand.

You come with me, babe. So have we got an answer or are we going to wait? I want to process that. There's a couple of things that Angus has to answer. The point question is Angus. If I can get business class. Does he want you at dinner? Yes.

Of course he'll want to. Where do we land on you sleeping on a roll-out bed in the room though? A little trundle bed. You sleep at the foot of Jess and Angus's bed. Pull up like a cat! Jess and Ducco. Let's get down to it. There has been an attack on the team, an attack on my family.

Not happy about it. Okay, so the weekend we finally had some, finally saw the sun and blue sky, forgot what it looks like, okay? We thought, geez, let's take Pam, my sweet, my first born, our fur baby, to the beach. She hasn't been to the beach in a hot minute. Lovely. Florence, take care of yourself. It's Pam time.

Florence was a water bowl and she was good to go. She's fine. And a kong, so she was all gravy. It's amazing, she's having breast milk and peanut butter and a kong. It's just wild, how it works. You've got to start thosegens sometime, you know? She can sit and shake well above anyone else her age. So anyway, we go to the beach, and we did take Florence.

You know what? I'm sad to say good on you for clarifying because you would have had it to you. You can't do that. Righto. He knows. So anyway, Morgan, as you you know is a crock wearer loves her crocks Morgan has two giz bits on her crock one of them is the Mayford West kebabs and charcoal chicken one of them is the Jess and Ducco

customized giz bit that we got that are hot properties that's right because you cannot purchase these you cannot procure these anywhere except this program Contributing, winning something. Actually the only way you can win them is Shy Guy Dips. Yeah I think so. There's not that many opportunities. There's not many opportunities, yeah it's very niche. Yes. People often message about them.

And there's a finite number of them. I have a thing whenever I go to a beach I don't leave my thongs on the sand at where the boardwalk ends and the sand starts because I feel like people will steal them. I've got Birkenstocks, I know they're custom to your feet, people probably won't steal them but I just don't like leaving my property there. They aren't cheap shoes. No. You know? With Crocs, they don't mould to your feet so anyone can take them. And Morgan still

leaves me and I go, I always say, I'll leave mine in the car, honey I think you should leave your Crocs in the car but she's like, who's going to take them? They're just Crocs. It's a part of the fabric of Australian life. you can dump your shoes at the edge of a beach go about your business. I just don't trust people you know what I mean I'll just go a bit more cool. Life's burnt me too many times so anyway as we go. You're a bit older you've seen more stuff. Morgan has the innocence. She's not jaded. Yeah she's not jaded yeah you know I'm out there protecting. So then we go she where's this going? So then we go, she leaves her crocs down there, we go to the beach. Have fun, frolic around.

We leave, we get back, the crocs are there. One of the jizz bits is stolen. That jizz bit... Are you joking? The Jess and Ducko jizz bit has been stolen from her crocs! Someone has bent down and had to pull... Pull out the rice cooker jizz bit. The backing off.

You just pull it out. It's just one thing. Yeah, yeah, you just pull it straight out. They pulled out the jizz bit. The jizz bit is gone, the crocks are there and the other jizz bit is still in it. She only got two. Hang on a minute. So the rice cooker's stolen?

Well you'd think so, right? No, no, no, I'm sorry, Sharguy. You have to be in the club to know about it. But I don't believe a rice cooker would do such a thing. I don't think someone would just take a disbit though without knowing what they're taking. Yeah, that also makes sense. Yeah, I think it has to be a rice cooker. I think it has to be.

That is not the behaviour I expect from a rice cooker. We said it during this very chat, we said how custom they are and how you can only get them in SharGuy dips pretty well. So people want them. I've had people message me about them, they always want them. But that's just tarnishing. But at the same time I was kind of like- The good juju around that juice be granted Morgan didn't win one but she married into the family. She's allowed to have one. Maybe that's what the problem was. The rice cooker went well she didn't win that. Probably. Oh hang on how would that person have won?

At this very place we do go I have run into Rice Cookers before. Have you? And they know, like, oh, hi to me, hi to Morgan. I'm almost like offended, but almost kind of like, wow, this is the ultimate compliment. Someone's taking our customized G's because they want it that bad. I love your positive spin. I do love the positive spin. 13, 10, 60. Are you the G's bit stealer?

I mean, consider it. I don't know if you're gonna admit to it. You can be anonymous. How are we gonna take it off? I don't know. But I just need to know your thought process. Were you so hungry for one? Yeah you just saw it and went they won't know. Have you played Shy Guy Dips every week and failed and thought well now I've been pushed to a life of crime? And let's be real if they steal it from Morgan Alba well she can get another one easily, which she could. That's not your call to make. That's not my call to make.

You know what I mean? How are we feeling about it as a team though? Like do we feel attacked? Because I felt publicly attacked. I feel, it's cheating. It is. It's cheating. You have to earn these things.

You know, I get to just take it and I would now argue, you know like when you're a kid and you'd steal a pack of gum and then you'd feel that gum burning a hole in your pocket all day long and then when you'd go to eat that PK it tasted like ash. PK gum. PK gum. It would taste like- Juicy fruits. Oh my god, I was addicted to juicy fruits.

It would taste like ash. I don't think you can enjoy that when you think big brother's going to tap you on the shoulder. I don't think you can enjoy that when you think big brother's gonna tap you on the shoulder You think these persons constantly be looking over their shoulder going am I gonna get busted? You can't enjoy the fruits of your labor when you've stolen them. I know but god we're hot property guys I mean, I love that song. We are in hot property. It's nice to be wanted. It is nice to be wanted and people want these jizz bits You know what I mean? Yeah, how did Morgan feel? She laughed Cuz you can just get another one.

And I was like, that's not the point, honey. That's not the point. And then there was a whole discussion about, well, if you didn't leave your shoes out there, like I said, you wouldn't, then no one would be stolen. You were right, man. Yeah, yeah. That's good.

Do you know what I think we need to do? Serial number. The jizz bits. So we can trace them. Do you know what I mean? Cause now this is an unmarked. It is, it's unmarked. Unmarked jizz bit. And I'm gonna be looking. We'll never be able to trace it. That doesn't help us find it though.

No, I'm saying moving forward. How are we gonna learn from this shy guy? Whenever I see anyone else's crocs moving forward, I'm gonna be looking down looking at their jizz bits See if I got a JD one. You know what you need to do? Okay Anytime you see someone with a JD jizz bit that goes for everyone. Yeah. Hey! Where'd you get it? What cereal did you win? Or what did you contribute? How'd you get that? How'd you get that? Trying to catch the person out. That's a great idea. Alright everyone be on the lookout. Okay? We're not gonna take it off here. No. You got your hands on it. I just... I'm shocked. It was pretty funny. I couldn't believe it. I was like who steals one jizz bit? This is the most I've wandered crocs

now just to be out in public with these things. Wow! Yep, crazy. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. So, I was going to give us a topic. We're going to try and outbid one another, Ducko, Babs and myself, how many things within that category we can name. Now Babs just tried to exit the studio, did you not wanna play? Well I played for the first time last week

and felt like I was having a bleed the whole time. Yeah, yeah, it's a tough game, which is why I was like, you're going nowhere, madam, you were standing right here and playing. I know, the phrase. She tried to leave and I was like pointing at the mic. She hit me with the, I don't usually play, I went, did I dream that she played? She played.

I played last week and did poorly. I'm pretty sure I sat after it. I think it's better when all three of us play. Two Babs' face. Mate, when it's only a- Yeah, she's cunning old Babs. Was I there? When it's only a two person auction,

that's not as exciting. A third horse in the race. And it's also fun to show how hard it is when someone else comes in. Absolutely. Because your brain goes to mush. Absolutely. Should I go? All right, first one guys, kitchen appliances. Oh okay there's a few I mean like eight. I'll say ten. I definitely can't do ten. Okay. Eleven. Oh nice. Okay yeah I mean there's a lot that

you plug in. I'm just trying to think, like, yeah. You've also got to do it in under 20 seconds. That's true, that's true. I'm gonna need to hear eleven, my friend. Oh, are you sure? Yep! Ninja Creamy, Ninja Slushy, Ninja Blender, you've got a toaster, you've got a microwave,

you've got a oven? Yeah, it's in the box. You've got a,? Yeah, it's in a box. You've got a sandwich maker, you've got a coffee machine, a coffee, ah. Bro, not bad. How many was that? That was nine. Jeez, so I was a, oh, I got a couple off.

You were two off. The one thing you didn't say, I would say, queen of the kitchen, the kettle. Or the fridge. Or the fridge. See, I don't think of the fridge as the appliance. Anything you plug in I guess. I love ninja. I went down the ninja aisle didn't I? It's where your brain goes. In the depth, depth is the first day of winter. Ninja creamy was your first.

Creamy and slushy. Have you seen the new ninja slushy? I want it. Do you? Yeah. Is it the same as the creamy? You can just chuck a fruit in it and it'll turn into a... Yeah, make margaritas. Hello. Anyway, sorry, shall I go over to you? No, you're alright. Types of coffee. Oh. As in like, like... The coffee order. Like if you look at a menu, yeah.

I don't know, a cafe. Yeah. Okay, well you've got three coffee drinkers here. Yeah, yeah. That is your first bid? Sure. A couple of bean lovers. Five.

That's good from you. You go, you go, yeah, yeah. Seven. Eight. Nah, I'm out. No,, you go. Yeah, yeah. Seven. Eight. Nah, I'm out. No, you're not. Yes, I am.

Play the game. You can't make me. She doesn't want to do it. She doesn't want to look dumb. You've landed on eight. Yeah. Nine. Yeah.

I guess ten. Eleven. Oh my god. Alright, go. Good luck. Long black espresso, cappuccino, flat white, soy latte, americano, short macchiato,

long macchiato, cold brew, ice latte? What did I say? That's 9. Umm... No! Piccolo! Piccolo! Duck was gonna say that. Piccolo!

The number one answer on alphabucks, the type of coffee. You were telling me that too. Where your brain goes, right? I'm glad I got the cold ones in. I always forget about your cold ones. Still a good valiant effort. See, that's called trying, Babs. I was even thinking, I could only name like five of those.

Here we go. Next one. Famous Lakes. Oh, this has got Babs all over it. When I think lakes, I think the Great Lady. Famous Lakes, shy guy. Is that a real question? Two.

I don't know any. Uh. I don't know. Uh. Yeah, maybe three. No, I said three. Oh, four. You gotta go four. I don't know if I can name all of them.

There would be, but I'm not a lake enthusiast. You know what I mean? I feel very unpatriotic. I can't even think of one here. I can think of one here. Yeah, yeah. I feel like America is a nation of lakes. Yeah.

If all those sitcoms are to be believed in. So where are we at? Who's got four? Babs has four. Babs has the fucking marketing bid. Alright, Babs. Go for it, Babs are to be believed. So where are we at? Who's got four? Babs has four. Alright Babs! Go for it Babs. The Mile Lakes? Lake Macquarie. Oh!

Um... Lake Michigan? Oh yes! Yes! One more? Um... You need one! Oh!

Oh! You've... Five seconds. I don't know. Come on! I don't know! I think that was a pretty good effort. Yeah, Lake Como in Italy. We're just like sending you. Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra. Oh, I don't know. I think that was a pretty good effort. Lake Como in Italy.

We're just like sending you. Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra. Oh I don't know. You could be coming to Lake Como back. Ah it's hard. I think Shy Guy got, oh no you said Burley Griffin. Yeah, but like either way yeah okay. Okay all right. Babs you're out. Oh short lived. Bye. Yeah you're out Babs. So ducko on two, Jess on one. So if you get this next one, we go to tiebreaker. Let's hope. Let's end this. Lord of the Rings characters.

Babs could have played this. She's new to the universe. Have you watched the second one yet? No, I watched Bridget Jones instead on the weekend. Sorry. She had to dip out of fantasy to come back to fantasy. Oh, ten. Eleven. Mmm, fifteen.

Oh, damn! You've only got twenty seconds, brother. I know. I think I need to hear fifteen. Gollum, Frodo, Samwise, Mary, Pippin, Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas, Aragon, uh, Gandalf the Great, uh, uh, uh, uh, Faramir, um, uh, King Phaon, um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh I did. I said the whole fellowship. You said the fellowship? You know who I- Oh, you know who you didn't say? Yeah. Um, oh but now I don't know if he's in The Hobbit or he's in Lord of the- Oh, what about Sauron?

Oh yeah, I didn't say Sauron. As soon as I- yep. Yep. Damn. What? That was really impressive though. I blacked out. I blacked out. I was thinking of me dwarves from The Hobbit, so I think I would have been disqualified. Anyway.

For the win between you two. Babs still out. For the win. Ship flavours. I mean I've preferred this over lakes. Again. Nine. Uh, yeah. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirtieee. You go. Salt and vinegar, original chicken,

BBQ, atomic tomato, lime and cracked pepper, 4 cheese, the cheese medley one you like, chicken crimpy, it's hard man. Salt cream, sweet chilli. That's hard, that's a tough one.

Light and tangy. Dukkowin. You won with light and tangy. My dad would be so proud of you. Jess and Ducko. Yesterday, the 1st of June, Ducko, was my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. Ah, congratulations. Huge milestone, right? They got married in 1985 and we knew this celebration was coming up this year. back in December I had the idea I think as the kids it would be pretty damn special if we put on the celebration And when I was talking to my brother about it originally he kind of poo pooed doing anything huge Yeah, I mean standard and he said I don't know about a party

Why don't we go on a family holiday? We haven't done one of those for a while. We could do a Fiji. We could do a Noosa. Yeah. Yeah. And I originally was like, well, I don't want to do this thing on my own. I want us to both be on board with the same idea. And I went, well a family holiday will be nice. Take the grandchild, this sort of thing. But as I sat with it more and more, I know my parents and they love a party. And as I sat with it even more, I was reflecting that 2020 would have been my dad's 60th.

He did have a 200 person party plan that was cancelled because of COVID. And I just went, I reckon he would love to get that group of people and celebrate what milestones next, what is 70th. That's so far away. And I said, sorry, sorry, Borg, my brother, I'm planning a party with or without your help. Yeah. So anyway, since December, we've, you know, booked venues. You've been busy.

You've been talking about it for a while. We have, off air, I've been telling you about it. The team's been hearing a lot about it, like the stress and the chaos. The stress and inviting 160 was the guest list. So many people. I mean I'm surprised they still know 160 people. Matt, isn't that impressive? Like it really made me take stock. We celebrated four year wedding anniversary, Angus and I, and I sort of looked at them and their friendship group going,

that's marvellous. Like it's so cool and it's a testament to how much my parents prioritize their friendships and relationships, that sort of thing. So I thought, no, it's going to be awesome. But yeah, the stress leading up, particularly because I wanted it to be a surprise, my dad is like me. Your family. Yeah. You, your dad and your mom were surprises.

My goodness. We don't do, it's not a thing. We don't let bygones be bygones. So when I told my dad, hey, Friday, May 30, Chris and I are gonna take you out for a nice dinner, keep it free. His first question was, why can't we do something on a Saturday?

Because venues that need that many people, Dad, are triple the price on Saturday. Cause I had to hire a wedding venue for that many people. But he asked me question after question. I hacked his phone last time I was visiting them to send myself contacts. So I sent myself about 60 people from his phone. But thinking, well, I can't leave that on our message thread, can I? He's going to see that. That looks odd. So I deleted our whole message thread, just got rid of all the evidence.

He calls me the next day because he obviously went to message me and he went Jess, Jess what's going on with my phone? I've got no message history with you. You can play my iOS update or something. He got all the photos of Lucia you've sent me, messages and I went oh that's weird dad must have been a glitch. Yeah. Gaslight your dad. I gaslighted him. I tried to. He goes no what can I do? Can I reset it? I went, I don't think so. What's the big deal? I can resend your photos. Thought I got him to drop it. Messages me 48 hours later. Jess, I called Apple. They were able

to- Oh goodness. I don't even knew that. I didn't know that was a thing. He goes, they were able to restore it. Weird though. I can see all these contacts that have been sent to your phone. What's that about James Cappavilla and Joe Matina and Gina Zumba? I'm going how's his name? Cappavilla Mazina. I think there were two Aussies in the room at the end of the book. There's one John Smith. Guy Turner.

I went at the one Aussie you know. But I was like, oh, he's on to me. Of course. Because why else would you have that? Did you just claim that? Oh, I don't the one Ozzy, you know. But I was like, oh, he's onto me, he's onto me. But of course, because why else would you have that? Did you just claim that? Oh, I don't know. I didn't get those. I literally went, that's a weird glitch because I never received those. Anyway, just tried to let it go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, so there was a few little hurdles that I thought, he's onto me. Yes. Randomly having to ask my mum, you know, going through her phone, like, who's Lucy as a party? And she's like, a cleaner. Why? And her phone, like, who's Lucy as a party? And she's like, a cleaner, why? And I went, okay, I don't think the cleaner needs to be here. Cross her off. Yeah, she's gone.

She's gone. But anyway, we get to the party. It's Friday night, Ducko. Yeah. The look on their faces, whether they had an inkling or not. It looked like your mum sort of did have an inkling. It was also a relief that was like, ah, it happened. They're all here for me.

Yes. But my mum, when I did question her afterwards, she thought maybe the three best friends would be at a private dinner and that sort of thing. The scale of what we pulled off. Tell everyone about the scale. So what did you have there? So as I said, I had to hire a wedding venue because they needed that many people, which was obviously canapes and, well, I got people to pay for their own drinks.

Cause I, but then, you know, we had a photographer there. We had someone doing interviews from channel nine, my girlfriend. Yeah, of course. We had the DJ, obviously we had, we had the gnocchi going around. We had the Roman cannoli. It's what you think. Of course Roman cannoli. Yeah. Michelangelo. Unbelievable. Of course. We had the gnocchi going around. We had the Roman cannoli. What was his name?

Michelangelo. Unbelievable. That was a late edition because I said to Angus, we don't have an activation. Sounds like you need a sponsor too. For Mum and Dad's 40th wedding anniversary. So it was quite the affair, which is a great segue down because about six, and they're all women, six mums, very in groups of my parents' friends. As we're going around to greet everyone, once we'd settled in, there'd be six different

women said to me, ah Jess, what you've pulled off, because my brother gave me all the credit, God love him, he did nothing. He bagged the bonboniere's, which was hard enough for him, putting the sugar almonds in a candy bag. You had giveaway like bags, like party bags. Well, just with sugar almonds. Oh, that's a woggy thing. Have you seen those, the sugar almonds? No. You're speaking a different language for me right now. I think they still do it. It's very Italian. It might be Greek as well. Candied almonds

is the thing you give after a special event. So you put it in a little baggie, three sugar almonds. My brother's job was to put three sugar almonds in a bag and some of them had four, some of them had five, some of them had three, like his one freaking job. He FaceTimed me the night before the party, hey, how many sugar almonds per bag? I went, you have had months to do this. So I'm walking around greeting everyone. Hey, how many sugar almonds per bag? I went, you have had months to do this.

So I'm walking around greeting everyone. Six different moms say to me, well, you've pulled off Jess. Congratulations. My kids would never do anything like this. You've put them all to shame. And I went, well, I'll take that as a great compliment. You loving it. Yes. Loving it.

But then I get a DM the next day from one of the sons being like, thanks so much. My mum won't shut up about the party. Of course. You threw it for your mum and dad. Oh no, now they're gonna expect it. So now I've got, well, what I can only assume, a bunch of kids, and when I say kids, my age, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

now getting a talking through from their parents. Yeah. Well, the Farncione kids threw their parents. Yeah. Our 40th is coming up. No one can top that. Because my parents also had their 40th wedding anniversary, was it this year or last year? And we all forgot it.

And then they sent us a text to remind us and we're all like, oh yeah, nice, congrats. Because usually on the 1st of June, my dad does send our group chat on this day back in 1985, I got to marry the love of my life. So anniversaries have always been a big deal. Yeah, hopefully Lucia is taking notes. Big shoes. I said to Angus, do you reckon Lucia will do this for us one day? He goes, I hope not. 30 seconds to answer 10 questions all started with the same letter. Have to take your first answer, you cannot use the same answer twice and if you're unsure

of the question, just say pass. We come back to you of course if there is time. We're playing for $10,000 and our player today is Anna. Good morning Anna. Good morning Goyd, how are you? No Anna, we couldn't be better. We have the opportunity to make your week pretty spectacular. Winning $10,000, what do you wanna spend the cash on?

Oh, I want a new kitchen. My kitchen's stuck in the 80s, I need help. I really need a new kitchen. You need to update an old school 80s kitchen. Nothing grinds your gears more. Well Anna, how about this? The last winner we had wanted to upgrade her laundry. So there's a good huge-

I know I've heard that, yeah. Jen. And we never heard from her. We never heard back from her. She would have got that money by now and yet still no thank you video. No before or after. Left us.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, hopefully I'm lucky too today. Yes. Well there's good energy around doing a renovation. Yes. And how good is this for you Anna? Your letters are. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Okay. Okay. Do you normally go well with this game Anna? Ah, I'm here to miss. Sometimes

I get 10, sometimes I get 5. I'm all over the place. Okay. Hopefully it's a 10 day for Anna. Yes. Yeah. You ready to rock? Yeah. Okay. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter R, we need you to name a food. A food, rock melon. A cartoon character. Roger Rabbit. A kitchen appliance. Pass. A rapper.

Rapper. Pass. A country. Russia. A rapper. Rapper? Um... Uh... Pass. A country. Russia. A fruit. Uh... Raspberry. A type of bread. Uh... Pass. An app.

Um... Runkeeper. A male actor. Robert Redford. Haven't heard of the Runkeeper app in a while. I used to have that app too, Anna. Someone likes a good run or two. Did that get you served by Strava? Yeah, yeah. It was the pre-Strava app.

Yeah, yeah. Ah, hey, you got yourself a pass. As you said, you're either 10 or you're 5 and you got 5. No. A kitchen appliance. We say it a lot on this show. A rice cooker. I just thought of it after yourself.

Even though we did forget it out of bitty bitty bang bang today So we'll all be excused a rapper could have been run DMC a type of bread could have been rye or rosemary bed Bread a male actor Robert Danny, Jr. Robert Redford. There's a few look You don't go by empty-handed Anna hundred also spend online at muck hair. That is all yours Okay, great. Thank you's good to talk to you. Good to talk to you, Anna. I'm sure, you know, fashion and design, it's all cyclical. The 80s design will probably come back in fashion.

Absolutely. You'll be fine with the kitchen. It'll all work out. Thanks, Anna. Thank you, bye. We do play again tomorrow, 6.30 and eight for $10,000. Up next though. One of the great questions.

Do you want to go? Nah you go. What should we do together? Okay. What bit ya? That felt strong. That felt really good. You wouldn't believe who Shy Guy bit coming up. Nah. Ow. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60 let's all say this together team. 13, 10 bit yah! Babs where were you? Come on. Alright once again 13 10 60 what bit yah! There we go that was very synchronised. Very nice. I didn't even hear her there but she was so perfect.

It was so in there. Right now users gone viral on Reddit because a scorpion bit him on the butt. Now that's not something you want biting you anywhere. No. Let alone on your nevus. I always get scared. You know, you see those ones, particularly Australia, there's like cane toads or sometimes green tree frogs in the toilet snakes coming through

the toilet horrifies me. Terrifying. I check more than once. And I looked down to see if there's a snake. I check shoes. If I've left boots outside, because maybe it's been muddy. Don't want to track them inside. When I go next to put them on, who's living in the toe?

Yeah. Let me just have a quick little look. Whack them out. I always put my hand in the shoes to get it out and I realize it's a dumb, dumb call. Real dumb call. Real dumb call from me. Uh, anyway, this is over.

Rather a bite you on the toe than your finger. Very true. You may as well just put your foot in. Uh, this is in Arizona. Uh, bought a bunch of toilet paper from like a Costco or whatever that version is. Like a bulk situation. A scorpion, a baby scorpion had gotten its way into of toilet paper from like a Costco or whatever that version is. Like a bulk situation. Yes. A scorpion, a baby scorpion had gotten its way into the toilet paper and inside the toilet

paper. He's just nestled in there. He's just nestled in. In amongst the ply. And so as they've unwrapped it, they put it down there, they're wiping, they felt something go. Luckily it was only a little one. Looked down.

It was alive still? It was still alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked down and the scorpion has bit them on the butt. They've taken a photo of it. They've since complained. I'm not sure if they've got free toilet paper for life. You would think at least a year's supply. You have to hope so. But also would you want it from these people? You've got scorpions in the warehouse. You would never look at toilet paper and that situation the same ever again. How could you trust? You couldn't. Is there a more fearsome looking creature? Oh. Like can scorpions kill you?

Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. They have to. I've actually never encountered one in the wild. I've only seen them on, you know, the I'm a Celebrity shows. Oh yeah, yeah. Terrifying creatures. They do look fierce don't they, little pincers and stuff. They look like something out of a mythological series. Like with that tail that comes out. Like a bush turkey's ugly, you know, but I don't think they're fierce. They're not gonna, like you're not getting scared by it. Exactly. Where is a scorpion albeit little terrifying. It's led to a bunch of people commenting in with what bit them. Someone said they had a tick bite them on the scrotum. That would... That's not where you want a tick biting you again. You remember my wife old tick head. She got the tick on the head and we had to get it out but we got it half stuck in there. That's a tick with a T, tick head. Tick head, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it got stuck here. Where did you even get a tick from? Now the tick. I was like, have you been rolling around in the bush again? Who named the tick the tick? Such a positive thing to call such a gruesome experience. Yeah. The tick, are they the ones that like burrow in?

Yep, they burrow in. You can't just flick, you can't flick off a tick, can you? You can't flick off a tick. You've got to get tweezers involved. They notoriously go into animals' fur and they burrow in and you've got to twist and pull out to get the body. Twist and pull? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my god. And a tick on the scrotum, someone said they had a horse bite them on the man boob. Now come on, I'd love to... It's just turning into what animals bit you, which we can also do on 131060. I only thought of animals. Who else could bite? Shy guy, I guess. Shy guy.

If he's feeling a little peckish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My kid latched onto me on the plane, actually. There you go. And because she was being so fussy, and it was the first time she kind of shut up, I just let her do it. I went just grin and pair her. At least she's not disturbing everyone else.

Just copying it. Fair enough. Wapitia. We've got Verity on the line on 13 10 60. Good morning, Verity. Morning. Should we ask her all together? Oh yeah, yeah.

Okay, Verity. Wapitia. A dolphin bit me. No way. Hold on. Aren't they friendly? Dolphins are psychos. Perfect ducko. You find it. I know your system's up against you today. Okay do you mean a...

a dolphin? Good. That was Gem. Credit to him. Tell us the circumstances Verity. I was only probably about 12 and we were on a family holiday at SeaWorld and I don't know if you can still do it but they had like a bit where you could sort of reach through the bars and I reached through the bars to pat the dolphin as you would and it bit me instead of letting me pat it. Did it hurt a dolphin bite? Because like do they have teeth?

Yeah I've still got the scar so yeah it hurt. So it drew blood and everything Verity? Yeah it drew blood yeah. Did it just clamp down and let go or did someone have to get involved being like let it go, drop, drop? I think it just sort of grabbed and I pulled back. So when I pulled back it kind of sliced you in. There was no flipper episode about that.

Did you sign a waiver or is there a bit of suing getting on in this story? No they actually said it happens all the time. Verity just ignored the sign. She was like don't put your hand on me. Ah the dolphin got me! This guy is not friendly. A dolphin. Verity just ignored the sign. She's like, obviously. Don't put your hand in the act. Ah, the dolphin got me! Alright, great Verity.

This guy is not friendly. A dolphin. Yeah, that's interesting. 13, 10, 60. What bit ya? What bit ya? I'd love it if there was a Nan story. You know what I mean?

Nan's gone rogue. Yeah, the false teeth have popped out. You weren't listening to Nan and she went, right, I'll teach ya. I'll take a chance. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. What bit ya?

Oh, we need the producers outside to just get involved. Shut up! Jess and Ducko! Jess and Ducko! 131060 What bit ya? Oh, we need the producers outside to just get involved. Hey guys, 131060 What bit ya? Thank you, team! Nice chorus! Great chorus.

That's called a harmony. Hahaha, is it? Hahaha, I'm sorry. Hahaha. Anyway, Scorpion's bit a poor bloke on the bum in the States. In Arizona! Arizona! Scorpion snuck into like the Costco toilet paper, they bought it in bulk, got it out

one of the rolls, still alive, pinched him in the butt. You've got to think, that person must be a folder, because I'm a scruncher. You're a scruncher too. I feel like I would have maybe not killed the scorpion, but felt it when I grabbed the TP. You just, yeah. How have they not really, granted a baby, but still. I don't know, it's an interesting one because everyone wipes their butt

I guess differently you don't know the technique they're using. Oh do you know whereabouts on the butt? Not to get too graphic It doesn't butt specify, but let's be real. It's not like you're wiping your cheek. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you're wiping where the action happens. Of course. It's not where you want a scorpion unless you had a weekend Like you did where it's messy and you just it's everything I know you really got to clean up Tia on 13 1060 good morning to you. Good morning. Tia, what bitcha? A Tasmanian devil. Stop it. That's not what you want you want biting you. That is so rare. How did that happen? Out in the wild? No I worked for a company that had some devils and yeah, we had quite an aggressive one. And one of the junior keepers dropped a bucket in there and was too afraid to go back in.

And he was having a particularly mean day. So I jumped in and he bit my steel cap around my toes and I was walking around with tapes for a few weeks to hold my boot together. She really did some damage She's got through it. She didn't break the skin properly but there's been multiple other times where. So they're pretty strong then, if a Tasmanian Devil gets a hold of you that can do some damage. They have the largest bite force of any mammal in their size comparison.

There you go. So yeah, they do some pretty good damage. Interesting, Tidbit. And Tia, what are we talking, rabies shots? What's the aftercare? Oh, just a bit of F10, honestly. Probably a bit further protocol. Bit of urethane, bit of Patedole, you'll be all right. Yeah, she's fine, chuck a Band-Aid on there.

You've got to stick to the day's work. Yeah, there you go, right. Thank you, Tia. Wow, I thought dolphin was rare. Tasmanian Devil's a good one. Vivian on 131060. What bit ya? Thank you, Tia. Wow, I thought dolphin was rare. Tasmanian Devil's a good one. Vivian on 13 10 60. What bit ya? Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning, Viv. Good morning. What bit ya? Let's keep going. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning to you, Vivian.

So I got bitten by our beautiful kookaburra. Ah, kookaburra, bitcha. It sure did. Now not to place blame on you Vivian, but what were you doing to upset a kookaburra? Well we were on our way travelling and I had my little granddaughter baby and she was in a little bumbo seat and we were sitting at a picnic sitting with those wooden bench seats and she was up on the table in her bumbo and I had bought some little McDonald's chips and as I picked a McDonald's chip up and went to put it in my mouth out of nowhere

sight unseen I got whacked in the face like I had, as if I had been punched by a boxer. Oh my god, he's coming with such force, this Kookaburra, to get your chippies. I'll tell you what, they're not small birds when they whack you in the face. I bet they're not. Jesus. Yeah, that would hurt. Kookaburra to the face would hurt. I mean, such a chuckly breed of bird. I know.

But also cunning. Vivian wasn't laughing at that yeah. Chloe on 13 10 60 Chloe what bit ya? Um I actually bit my sister during childbirth. Was she your support person? Yes she was supposed to be yes. Oh my god you were my bit angus. Oh yeah.

In that moment Chloe isn't it just something prime when go, I've got to latch down on something. But you're the closest. Geez Louise, it is though, isn't it? And how badly? How, yeah. Yeah. How bad was the bullet? Oh no, it was bad.

Like they had to pry me off her. Oh wow. She had to go. You're a lock jaw. Yeah. You're bang for it. Yes. That's, I, they wanted me to lay down.

I couldn't, I couldn't move at all. They had to pick me up and move me, but I wasn't moving, so I grabbed a hold of her. Jesus, did she need stitches, Chloe? Like did she need medical attention at the same time? Alana, you know what, I'm not sure. I was in my own world at the time. I never followed up. Stop her! Oh wow. Wow, Kaia, good morning. Medical attention at the same time. Good morning. Can we get the producers involved?

Because I've really slacked off here. Yeah, yeah. Kaya. What picture? Oh, no. It was a pelican. Oh, that would hurt. Pelicans are ruthless.

I went down to the lake with my dad to have some chips and stuff. And I was throwing the chips in the air. It was only about nine. And the second time I went down to the lake, I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air.

And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in the air. And I was throwing the chips in and stuff. And I was throwing the chips in the air. It was only about nine. And the seagulls and all that were coming to get the chips. And then there was this big pelican. And it was getting so close.

And then my dad said, go on, Kai. Just feed the pelican. Oh, good from dad. Oh, my god. I was like, OK. So I stuck my hand all the way out and the pelican took my arm. My whole arm was in the pelican's mouth and I ripped it all the way out and I didn't know they had a little sharp hook thing on the end.

I knew after I'd ripped it out. Yeah, that's how they get their little fishies. Well, I've seen Jess eat so I've pretty much seen a pelican eat. 100%. But you're lucky that pelican didn't do that head throw back and swallow her in one go. So they have a hook on the end. Yeah that's how they basically go fishing. They hook the fish and then flick it all the way down. God nature's incredible isn't it Jess?

It's between the bite force of a Tassie devil and the hook on a pelican. Alright everyone on 13 10 60 Julie what picture? A donkey. Hang on we've got, I think we've got Shy Guy's donkey available but duckers up against him on that side there's a bit too much going on. Tell us about it. Well I was the only Aussie on this tour around Australia and we went to one of those wildlife places and so everyone had put this donkey and I was like I don don't really think I should and they're like, no go for it.

So it lunged at me and actually latched on just underneath my boob and they had to get like three people trying to take the teeth off me. It had latched on pretty hard. Surely, now when you say just under the boob, so are we talking like on your rib cage, not on... Yes, like literally just under the boobs are we talking like on your rib cage not on literally just under it yeah I've got a set of chompers on them donkeys oh yeah I was I told everyone else from then on that I got bitten by a shark so of course shark on the boobs sounds more heroic donkey on the boot like Julie Julie is it false? I don't know. I bet it was a donkey, Julie.

Jess and Ducco. Ducco, since about Friday, I did really hassle you. You're going to be here on Monday. You feeling okay? I know you had a big weekend entertaining your in-laws and your great grandparent in-laws. Yeah, Flo's great grandparents. So I wanted to make sure you didn't, you know, write yourself off. Needed you here today. Cause there's some-

I did have a few herbal teas. God forbid. God forbid. Lucky you're here. Cause the team and I have been working on something. You've entered pretty exciting chapter of your life. The Dilfe era, welcoming baby Florence, what, six and a half weeks ago. Yeah, she's seven weeks today. And seven weeks, born on a Monday.

God, you've taken it in your stride. You've, you've just, everyone asks me, how's Ducko going? How's the baby? How's Morgan? I say, he hasn't missed a beat. Took four hot seconds off for paternity leave, but has came back and has come back and just, love to see this chapter on you, suits you. It's wonderful. But there's something around the birth of a new baby that we thought, would the duck man like that? Would the rice cookers like that? Is there something we can do to celebrate together? Are you familiar with the phrase, wetting the baby's head? Yeah, wet the head. I've done this for my cousin back in the day when he had his first

kid. This was like, jeez, 16, 17 years ago. The only one I've been to where basically while the mother has had the child and is still in hospital, the husband leaves and all the mates catch up and get blind drunk to celebrate the birth of a baby. Now my husband brought this up when we had Lucia and I never heard of it to be honest. Granted, I'm a lady and it's pretty old school. Seems pretty old school doesn't it? None of my mates have done it. I didn't obviously get to do it. And I don't know really when you'd get time. She's born, I'm out of there.

In this day and age, and I'd argue for a long time prior, shouldn't be a thing where just the bloke goes out and leaves the lady at home, right? I think it comes from back in the day when the husbands weren't even allowed in the birthing suite. I've just looked it up. What is the genesis, the etymology of wetting the baby's head? And you're going to love this. Takes its name from the Christian baptismal rite, where you'll wet the baby's head for baptism. It was in the book! So this has just worked actually on so many levels.

We've got the green light from Morgie Morgz. Yes. Because this isn't just about you and Du Bois getting together. We thought as a group. Boys weekend? No, Babs and I are gonna be there. Morgan is invited but so are the rice cookers. We are throwing you, if you want it, a wedding the baby said, this was our idea. A night in the Hunter Valley at the most spectacular Chateau Ylan. I'll take that. Because not only is that a superb destination, they got a golf course, baby. Yes.

We thought, our boy loves golf. And you have just, I don't know, been so wonderful for us in this time, you and Morgan both. We thought, have a night away. Morgan can maybe enjoy some wine tasting with those who wish. And you and whoever, ah shy guy will have a smack with ya. Bit of a driving, what's the driving range? Driving range? There's a driving range there baby.

So you're driving range with the golf pro that's there. Yes, yes, there's a coach there who can teach anyone who wants. I might have a couple of smacks. I want to see you guys have a few smacks. But of course the accommodation, five star accommodation, there's a day spa. You can tee off on the Greg Norman Design Golf Course. We want Rice Cookers to join us though. It's not just about the duck man. Maybe you've just had a kid. Yeah. And you and your partner would like to come along. Are we staying overnight? We're staying overnight, babe.

Are we doing the show? We can do the show the next day. This is a bit of fun. But we want you there. Hit.com.au. Maybe we'll put a link up on the story as well. Yes. Book your winter getaway today at Chateauiland.com.au or join us for the wedding of the baby's head. How good is this? We want to celebrate, we're gonna twist this pretty old-school tradition. Yeah. Make it a bit more inclusive. I like it. Morgan and Flo,

Morgan's coming babe. We've run the dates. She's invited. She's invited, she might come. We can't take the new dad away because that feels a bit yucky. It does feel yucky. It feels yucky. There's an inclusion there for them. There's an inclusion. So she can come. Maybe we can go to the day spa. Oh. The whole team's doing a show on tour.

A show's on tour. Babs is in. Babs is coming. Babs is a question mark to be honest. She went, oh, do I have to? This is outside my... She's like, I'll answer phones from the studio. We're like, what?

You can bring your laptop, Babs. Oh. Absolutely. Escape the luxury this winter at Chateau Alain at the Vintage. Thank you for having us. Yep. Open to one and all. You don't have to have just had a kid.

Like, Shy Guy's coming. Do you know what? It's not just for new parents. Hit.com.au. You register. Anyone can come. Anyone who wants to be there. Yes.

Night's accommodation. Golf, wine, dinner, of course. Obviously. It'll be a breakfast, I'm sure. Yes. Bit of French toast and an omelette. Oh, it'd be hung over course. Obviously. There'll be a breakfast, I'm sure. Yes. A bit of French toast and an omelette. Oh, it'd be hungover breakfast for some. Hungover breakfast.

But it is a Thursday night, so all the teas and seasoning information, you've got to be available. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to register. But yes, the question, would you like this? Oh, I'm so keen. Because we can pull the rug out if you'd not. No, I love this.

This is fun. This sounds great fun. And probably the coolest giveaway we've done. Probably. It's like a long lunch on steroids. It's one thing to shout people a three-course meal. It's another thing to do that plus golf plus wine plus a night's accommodation. Yes. Yes. Thank you, team.

You're welcome, pal. It's like a bush present for me. Jess and Ducco. Still here just ripping off a fresh can of Monday. Too much fun to be had. Mm-hmm. Including the announcement of Justin Ducko's wedding of the baby's head. Now this is an old school thing.

We're not trying to take Ducko away from dad duties only six weeks in. No, no, no. Back in the day wedding of the baby's head was DuBois would go to the pub to toast the arrival of a newborn. Yep. But he's a modern-day dad, that's not a thing. We're not just going to send you and Shy Guy to the pub with your boys.

Wouldn't that be a riot? Just Shy Guy and me in the pub. With a couple of pear ciders and some buffalo wings. I don't care for wings. Of course you don't. What we are doing though is inviting rice cookers to Yep. To enter at hit.com.au. This is the coolest giveaway we've ever had because you're coming away with us. We're going to Chateau-Alan in the Hunter Valley, Greg Norman inspired golf course. You can go on a golf range while trying wine.

That's right. Get lessons, have a night there. What I'm hearing is there's something for everyone and we can combine them. Do you know what I mean? So good. We're making the rules for this thing. I do love though that you guys haven't said we're playing nine holes of golf just because none of you would want to but we'll go to the driving range so you're meeting me in the middle. When Shat

Wilaan, they were so excited. They were like we would love to have you guys, we would love to have the rice cooker. We got the golf course and we went, okay hold up. We don't need it. Can we just, we'd like some golf element for our men. Yeah. But can you just smack some balls and then can we go eat something and they went whatever you guys want to do we appreciate them yep and they're gonna give us yes a coach to teach us how to hold a club how to hit things it's not putt-putt it's real golf yeah it's good it's mainly about the combination. Where's the windmill and the clown with the mouth? yeah where's that? Not gonna have that on the drive range? No. But if you would like to be there, if you'd like to join us for a night away,

look all the T's and C's, check the dates and whatnot. Yep. If you'd like to be there, as you said, it's a long lunch on steroids. Yeah, it is. Because really, it's a dinner. It really is, it's a long dinner. And then we have drinks and then do the show there the next day. Absolutely.

When you said, hang on, it's a Thursday, do we get Friday off? No, no. We'll be broadcasting there. Exciting. It's gonna be really fun. So it's actually coming up, do we get Friday off? No, no. We'll be broadcasting there. It's gonna be really fun. It's actually coming up, so make sure you don't muck around. Hit.com.au or the link on our Instagram story. Go check it out. Wanna see as many people enter as we can.

How many are we taking? I think it's 20 rooms plus ours. Okay, so I like- So that's like 40 people. Unless, you know, you put out five people in your room, you never know. Oh, man. You wouldn't do that. No, of course not.

Eh. Eh. Uh, okay great, I can't wait to speak to my wife about it too. Yeah, we flag it, we've heard. Okay, good. She's invited, she can be there. Great. She was like, hang on, you're taking him away.

I went, no, no, no, you're invited too. This is not old school wedding of the baby sand. Nice, nice. This is new age. But she doesn't come. It's not her. All we can do is offer the invitation. You lead the horse to water, you can't make a drink.

Exactly. We can't help if only dudes enter and want to come away with a dude. I mean, Babs and I will be there. Yeah, yeah, I see what you're doing. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, that'd be a bit of fun. It's open to all.

Hit.com.au, thank you team, that's exciting. And don't forget, tomorrow we're back on air, obviously, Alfbox is back, but we do have those Fridays live tickets. How good's that? You're listening out for the old... Horns blaring When you're here. Now that horn crashed our system today. Obviously, Alfbox is back, but we do have those Fridays live tickets. How could that? You're listening out for the old... Now that horn crashed our system today.

Can you guarantee it'll be okay tomorrow? I can't. No. I can't guarantee anything about this thing. So you best join us from 6 because it could go anytime and then the system goes down. We might be the best year tomorrow, who knows? I'd never go there. I'd love to.

It's so horrible. Everything's backwards. Babs couldn't work under those conditions. Absolutely not. I'm surprised she's here today. Me too. Hey we're out of here. Thank you team. Have a great Monday. Bye bye. Bye. I actually bit my sister during childbirth. Jess and Ducko. That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range now touring for a limited time.