Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | What's your site of choice?

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

Aussies will soon need to provide ID to access porn, we talk annoying noises and we dress up in the full NFL kit!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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What a hell of a Wednesday. Holiday. There was scandals. There was vulnerabilities. There was a lot of dildo chat. And there was a bit of porn. Convo. Great big porn.

What do you want to say? That doesn't feel as eclectic as I thought it would be. Yeah, it actually quite sounds the same. Quite racy things. Quite sounds basic and smutty. Let's start with, because the order of the show, the first thing the rice cookers will get to will be the porn verifications. We were talking about various sites.

You looked at me in the eye and said you're a one-man site guy. We were talking about porn sites. And you said, what sites do you like? And we were talking about various sites and how you can be locked out now with ID and stuff and doing it for age verification. I said, I know what Jess would like. That's right. And then I went to say it because it was just quick-witted,

and I wanted to, I wanted to hit you with a zing up, and then I pulled myself back, turn the mics off, told you two off air. You guys lost it. You didn't know if I could say it. Babs came running in like, I want to be in on the job. I want to be on.

Yeah, this is all live on the air, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were told Babs, and Babs just shock and a horror. You could not say that. Her pearl necklace is in tattered because she clutched it so hard and then ripped it from her neck. So you stand by and I couldn't say it? Sure.

I don't know. My instinct straight away was like, Can you say that at this time? Not that I thought it was inappropriate. At this time, it was the depth of the morning. You reckon it was a 6-10, nothing past that. No, but this is the thing, Babs. You don't need to know for sure.

None of us know for sure. It's the feeling. And if your gut says it... If I had two of you say, do it, I would have done it. Like, Jess was like, no. Shagga was like, do it. And then Babs was like, no. I stand by, because Shiger doesn't care what we do because he thinks he is

Teflon. No, definitely not. He would throw us under the bus as far as far as. Because I think, I think the... See, I don't think our boss also is the best. person to ask because he's the boss. But he pushes the envelope. So far.

Yeah, but shy guy, when complaints come through, if they us serve the boss, yeah, but I'm saying if they go to ACMA. They won't go to ACMA. No, but those little giggles are what hold you back, don't you reckon? Anyway, what I was going to say is, I know what Jess's porn side is. Yeah. And I was going to say, she loves the Lebanese between my knees. Yes, the site dedicated to that.

It sounds so vanilla to me. It does. I know, now that we're just in the moment, Lebanese between the knees. And you know what, Duccoe, if I can be honest, your hesitation, If he's hesitating, maybe there is something to hesitate. You know why? Because when I started thinking, is it racist? And I was like, no, the Lebanese people would friggin froth that. I'm saying they've got massive schlongs.

This is, to quote a bloody episode of Seinfeld from the 90s, that isn't derogatory. It's quite complimentary. So how is that racist? Because of the current climate we live in, I'm just like, let me be quick with it. Thank you. That's what it is. In 2025, I actually don't know how we still do a live medium, if I'm honest with you. I don't know how we haven't.

Damn, I wish I said it now. I just loves the slight Lebanese between my knees. I've told you about that one bloke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I thought was funny. It was great, yeah. Anyway, pay that, when you hear the break, pay it in the moment. Insert it yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Insert. But now that we're at 905, we're recording this at 905. Yeah. And it does feel like, we're not... Sorry, sorry, we're recording this at 11. Really late. After I've just done on my meeting.

We've just had lunch. God damn, my work laptops overflowing with us. I don't know how you charge has lasted this long. Anyway, so now it feels fine. But you've got to understand, in the moment when you're in live radio and things flying around and we're talking porn sites as it is. You know what? I just remember it. It was probably worse

me saying our PM loves porn. I said that and I was like, he fucking beats his meat. See? No, see no hesitation there. Everyone has at one point, right? Yeah, I mean, if you haven't. Now that's a question. How old are you and have you not? We're going to share charges later.

Yeah. It's a nice vulnerability from Babs sharing. You are slowly being cracked open a bit more. Yeah. What voltage you wish? 12 volt. Well, can I borrow?

I'll give her back. She's got pubs all over it. Yeah. No, she's been doing her laser. Not for me, you idiot. When you return it. We all thought you meant. She's in.

I love you all the finger of laser. We know you've been talking about ninja lot lately, so who's to say? Now, changing tactic to something much more appropriate. We did get lots of text in on the text line over with double 8-1-609 because we started talking about dildos, you'll hear it in the show. I don't want to ruin it out with content because it's funny in the show. Absolutely. But yeah, Dildo's in the wrong place kind of thing. Yeah. We've got great contributions on the phone. Yet some people a little bit nervous. I wanted to text through 04-8-8-8-1069. Rod said, hey, it's Rob from

Buff Point. Cheers. I've been a bouncer for 15 years and I was doing security for a stripper. And halfway through her show, it must be a strip club. One of the guys... No, I reckon he's doing personal security for, you know, because you're not meant to touch them. Bucks parties. Yeah, you're not meant to touch him. Copy that. Halfway through this show, one of the guys grabs the suction glow in the dark dildo

and stuck it on his mate's forehead. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. What the security guard wants to play. I've been to a box where the stripper put a dildo in the buck's head and he just sits it looking like a gimp. And it's so, he's just like hates himself. Because those suction. Oh, mate, they go.

Yes. But you could really. You could be battened like a plunger. You could be battened like a cat playing with a. Ball of fur, ball of yarn, and that's not going anyway. That is very funny. We had a DM, Ducko from Emma. We're talking about, yes, have you found one in the wrong place?

She said, my two and a half-year-old found mine, you know, came running down the hall. My younger brother was over. Like, that's a great story, but what I want to drill down on. What colour was the dildo that you talked about in the story out of the states? Fluorescent green. And I said, who the fuck would want a green one? Yeah, yeah. Even pink and purple, I'm okay with green.

Green feels so weird to me. She goes, mine was green and had sparkles. Wow. That's bright. So there you go. Someone does have a green one. Green and sparkles. And sparkly.

That feels weird. It does feel weird. You know what you said? It feels too fake. It does. You know what I mean? You want it to be a little bit kind of real. Totally.

But I also don't want it flesh-coloured because that feels strange. Yeah. Yeah. There's a real sweet spot. Like Shiger's flesh light. That's right. Aaron said, hey, Jess and Duck. I tried to call and I'm a garbage truck driver and someone had thrown out a full-sized

sex doll in a recycling bin. They must have worn her down and decided to toss her out. Now, are they recyclable, Aaron, is my question to you. Has that? With the milk bottle? Because you can't, like, bend her, so you'd be like, oh, just going to have to throw Hillary out. Where's the milk bottles?

In the recycling bin. Oh, gosh, look you meant it's... Actually, Google that. Can you recycle sex dolls? Yeah, and what do you do with a vibrator you don't want anymore? These texts are just bonkers. You go that into the sound of someone rummaging through a drawer. Drives me nuts.

My family hate when people eat loud. You cannot recycle most ex-dolls through curbside programs as they're not considered standard recyclables You know like if you put something in a recycle

You kind of have contaminated everything They've got to pick it apart Or let's turf the whole thing In the garbage You don't want to be contaminated You can't You can't throw out your vibrator Yeah it's gonna say

Because it's got battery in it Lithium So what do you have to go to those depots You have to go to JB hi-Fi and put it in the battery bin With the mobile phones Yeah 100% Yeah well yeah true

They're bad for the environment the battery dildos. Because they could explode. When they go in the trash compact, it could explode. The Garbo's a really living life on the edge. Because who knows what people throw out? You get to see everything. You get so much treasures.

Oh my God. Imagine having to throw that full-size sex doll and it's just like, it's just creeping out the bin and your neighbours are all like. Part of me. I've never used one. Yeah. What is that mouth open? They're inflatable, right?

Some of them are, some of them are like, like, like, um. Like mannequins. Yeah. But no, like softer than that. Like, some of them are like, tell me. more detail. I don't have any, but...

I've tried to Google. I've been blocked. Okay. NSFW. Don't go to wild. Don't do that first result. I'm trying if I get images. Oh, that's good.

Oh, geez, they're all blocked. Click off. Where's off? We're all grown-ups here. Where's off? Safe search. Oh, yeah. I'm with you.

Oh, goodness me. I wish I did it. Holy shit. What are they made? It's like, it's soft. It's squidgey, but it's kind of like... Like silicon. Yeah, it's almost like dildo material.

So they're not. They're not deflatable. No. So that's what I mean. You can't bend them up and stuff. Some of you can't get inflate, but they're the cheap ones, I believe. She's so realistic. Oh, look at that thing.

Is it? Jesus Christ. They look realistic. This one's seen better days. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I get blocked?

That's allowed? Yeah, but it's Ducco. He's got high references in a room. I'm allowed a lot. You're okay, back? Ducco's look out of six dollars and a phone. It's a worn baths. Did you see that photo?

Did you see what was in that? No, I didn't see what was in it. Oh, you don't want to say it. Hey, I've actually got a 1980 slang term for that. Oh, God. You'll hear that in the show. You can leave that out of the podcast, bro. I wouldn't say it then.

No, go for it. Maxed out. Yuppie. Is she maxed out or are you maxed out? That's the term for a used, let's the say. Sex doll. No person. Oh, you're maxed out.

Like you've climaxed? No, like they've been through a people. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm assuming. I only fans, a thousand in the room. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, she's mats down, man. As I look on it, the show wasn't all like this, though? You know, we did talk about the parliament.

It actually was a gridiron chaff with noises. Puppie in the parliament. Yeah, that was pretty funny, though. Really set their time. You know what the... My boss texted said we had a great choice. You know what's even funny is our listeners come. What is that?

Our listener is faster. We're a guy who speaks to speak. weeks quick. That was a weird way to slow it out. Our listeners, that I was going to say come in hot and heavy when we do. What's wrong we do? I don't know what's happening. They enjoy the show more. You're hot and heavy. You have to say that in me, don't you. I am. The desk is lifting up. Jesus, don't go out. No, with me, mate, it would shrink.

Anyway, our listeners enjoy the show more when we do that stuff. They, seriously, we had a full board of calls for where did you find a dildo at 7.50 in the morning. And I get, I remind people, we only have 10 phone lines. How many people couldn't get through. So many, because after Babs and I were like, oh, we have one very similar or like, we're not going to be able to get to you for time. Since we get rid of them, new one comes through. Wow.

So, Babs, how did you feel having to take those calls? We actually messaged Shagha and said, can you come help me? Yeah. You were overwhelmed. No, because I was like, no, but I said to Shagga, how do I word this? It's like, kind of, like, people get freaked out. I've noticed by me asking them personal questions sometimes because I'm a girl. What do you mean?

If it's a bloke? Yeah, like, even the other day when I had to ask them what undiesiesies they need me to send them. Some of them got really weird. Yeah, I get that. Small, but like, are I small? But then someone, one of them said, I think it was, his name was Mick. He said, we didn't have to name him.

Yeah, well, I am because that was strange. It is a very unique name. You'll know which Mick we're talking about. He was like, oh, I'm a large, but an extra large in the package. And I said, good one, Mick. All right, I'll send you a small night. Yeah, yeah, that's weird. What I'm hearing is you actually are a small.

That's weird. Yeah, I should have a little. Whereas when Shago's like, where'd the deal I get thrown at you? They're like, hi, Shagga!

Yeah, I didn't. My first show that I worked on was called The Thinker Girls and we did that shit daily. Oh my God,

I remember that show. Were you their producer? I was their studio producer. What is studio produced? Yeah, what did you do? Like panel stuff. Ah, ah. Oh, yeah.

But not. Was it a pre-recorded show? No, we'll live for it. It was pre-recorded for Brisbane. I thought the Think Girls was all like, you know, like, you know,

not that kind of chat. It was all that kind of chat. They were thinking about. Live in City, Melbourne, pre-recorded for Brisbane and Adelaide and Perth because they were more sensitive. Did you ever do those two girls? Really? Yeah. Those two girls?

No, I never worked on that show. He was a late-night guy. How was your last? How many talent? How much talent have you worked with? Like, how many on-air announcers? You reckon 20? Oh, I've been 20 in breakfast hosts alone at two days.

Wow. Yeah, two-day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You went every six months. So, yeah, probably 20-30. Did you work with Melby? No. No, no, no, no, I was Kyle and Jack, first breakfast show.

I was not. I was still in high school then. Fair. So where do we rank amongst your breakfast shows, host you've worked with in terms of enjoyability? You're up there. Oh, good. Do you want a number?

Yeah, let's give us a bad number. Who's above us? No one's above you. I think you're all leveled. Okay, who we leveled with? That isn't a shy guy answer. Who we leveled? I bet you'll fucking say Grant and Denia.

Maz and Gondi. No, he was great. I never worked with Gondi. Awesome. He was great. Maz and Matt. They were great. Yeah, but the show sucked.

Oh. Hey, I worked on that show. I know you did, buddy. I've got to defend it a little bit. But you like our show is better than their show. Our show is... It's a different show. It doesn't compare.

It's, no. It's apples and oranges. We wouldn't have the same last three hours on that show. You're having more fun on this show, though. His show is more fun. I spoke to your mum. She reckons you off. I just don't believe a word.

So, this is the same conversation I've had with him before as well. Don't get me started on you. You hate us. No, I don't. We're her only show, though, so we're her best. You never forget you first. I'll ask if the people before, the other Babses were okay. Oh, I see.

And, like, where they level with, like, skill-wise with me. Because Babs are very competitive. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. And what did he say? Your Billy, my last version of you, was Millie. Yeah. And who's better Billy or Millie?

Well, he never says. Oh. But then he, like, says that. But then he was like, some issues that you had early on and never had with her. And I was like, oh, okay, well. He's just trying to keep your humble backs. Yeah. Let's run a child guy amongst our EP's.

Oh, yeah. Go for us. He's going to come off looking pretty good. Yeah, you are, unfortunately. I can't believe we're not your favorite. So who else we're equal with? I like Ash London. That's a special place because I've worked with that show for five years.

And it was a very successful night show. Yeah, yeah, and that was your baby. That was my baby. Probably the three of you guys, I think. This is why we're never getting invited around for a bowl of pistachios. This is why I think he thinks he's tepola what you said, Jess. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. He doesn't care if you say something that could get you in trouble.

Things if we lose our jobs now, like Jesse and I'll be like, oh no. He'll be fun. He's a cockroach man. next week. Exactly. I'll go back to Maz. I'll go back to Maddie. He'll move to New Zealand.

We'd never speak to him ever again. 100%. He would leave us for dead. He would delete our numbers. He's like, I'll never need to contact them, so why take up space? Do you still speak to former co-host? Yeah. Not all of them.

Who? You speak to our competition on the Central Coast, aren't you? I talk to Matt a little bit, yeah? Yeah. Well, he's a friend. You talk to other radio announcers? No, I don't. I cut out all producers from my life after I met you.

I'm a one producer. Well, two, producer gal. Good to know what's to come. Oh, yeah, you're doomed after this. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was still hanging. I was still on the PlayStation Network now, so. Yeah, we still haven't gamed yet.

I've got so many games to game with you. We don't... Four guys, you need to download four guys. Okay, I feel like I won't know what's going on, though. I like sport games. Sounds like a sex thing. Nah, it's not. Yeah, we are going to be...

It's like Fortnite. Obviously. Obviously. Very experienced in this realm, dock. Yeah. Oh, we have the SCA breakfast club. That's tomorrow. No, that was cancelled.

You need to update your calendar, man. mate, so it comes in to later my watch. My watch is like a day behind. Can we bring, nah, maybe it's not appropriate. Oh, what? Just the email you were struggling to find yesterday in the meeting made me laugh so much.

Yeah, let's not talk about it. It's fine. I couldn't find it. Like, Jayce's reaction when you said, can we resend it? He was like, get fucked. How did you delete? That's the most important email of our careers. That is so good as it to me.

Push so hard for something. And then it comes and I'm like, couldn't give a shit. And then you're, Everyone's like, have you signed your contract? It's like, this big deal. I'm trying to book in a celebration dinner. He's like, oh, what email?

What do you do? Where is it? I'm trying to find it in the meeting. We're talking about the show in front of the boss. Boss, resend it, would you? I felt pressure. I was like, shit, I better sign it right now in front of everyone. I couldn't find it for 10 minutes.

Oh, Tee, reopening 203s. We're hanging on by a thread. Sign the fucking thing. That is so me, isn't it? It's just chaotic. Such a great. Oh, that's great. Anyway, so I'll get a bottle of thumb.

Yeah, yeah. We're going again, Chaga. Sorry to hear it, mate. Maz and Maddie aren't coming back just yet. Nah, they won't come back. Why don't you bring a game, you play with Maz and Maddie on this show, we'll see if we like it.

Oh, find one of your logs. Yeah. Something you're in charge of. Yeah, I could. Yeah. We had a lot of shit games. Sorry, is that different? They were deliberately shit, though.

I mean, we do have a few bad games. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we could, yeah. As long as we like it. You know, we're having a good time. As you said, as long as we're having a good time. That's it. Yeah, I'll have a thing.

I have to go look at some old logs. Okay. Well, this is sort of deflated our sales this chat a little bit, hasn't it? It has. Just knowing. We're having a fun time and then we are struggling us. There's a gap in the market for it. Let's circle it back.

For anyone who wants to create Lebanese between your knees. It's all about niche, isn't it? No, I don't want to. You're already blocked, bro. Can you even look up anything? Ducco can. Oh, look. Evidently.

It's going to be hard selling Lebanese, though. How do you spell it? N? Oh, no. E. No, no, you're there. Lebanese? Yep.

Between. Between your... I reckon there's merch there. Stream Lebanese between your knees. Hey, it's a song. It's a song. There you go. It's not the Reddit thread.

Is it true that Lebanon has the biggest penis size? Well, Babs, no, you know. Someone's on X just said you need Lebanese between your knees. Yeah, I was going to say, I think it's Ecuador, isn't it? No, it doesn't. It looks like there's a gap in the market. There's a gap in the market. You've got a theme song already.

Go on SoundCloud. Let's look up images and just see what I get. Oh. It's diverse. Yeah. Why is there someone sleeping? Hey, do you know what I like, falafel? I know, I know you do.

do. There you go. There you go. You never go back. Yeah. It's not quite as catchy, but it stands. That's why Lebanese is between my knees. I did go back.

I've now got marriage and Australian. Irish, English descent. Sensational. I've never asked you wearing this pain size ranks amongst your former partners. I've actually never asked you that. God. I'm not even trying to be complimentary here. He's definitely the most...

Memorable. Definitely most able. I think... He might be the biggest. But I've only... I've not had any gigantic, ridiculous one. I have had a micro. That's funny.

Did you know? No, and it was such a cliche moment, but it was literally, are you in? Oh, wow. It was, it was. Oh, no. So what do you do then? You do a lot of pretending. Like, no offence, I don't need the acting class.

Oh, that actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you got it. You know what I'm saying. Yeah. When I was on that exchange over in Canada, did a two-week study exchange. That was a little Canadian micro guy. No, it was someone on the tour with us. Oh.

I can't remember. I imagine it was kidding. How big does it look, E? No, unfortunately. He was one of the crew. Oh. It was bad. I shat where I ate.

Oh. So, oh, Jasda. I feel for him. Oh, I couldn't feel him, but I feel for him. Someone out to it. Stop what you're doing and listen You know I got the shit that you like There's only one show to wake up for you

I'm not that easy to hang Jess, Jess You just go Bipipipoo Bucut and go I got to explain I actually haven't seen my dad's button a while Got him going insane Yes I got

Your hole was well open Bats I've never had hemorrho This is Jess and Ducko Run on 6 o'clock It's Wednesday If anyone will sit hear that opening for the first time. Geez, I think we were a bunch of sickos.

Never seen my dad's butt for a while. Shogga's gaping holes open. Babs as hemorrhoids. I go, beep, beep, beep, beep. You're the only normal one, believe it or not. I sound like I'm doing Morse code, which is strange. You're just trying to deal with the weird team you've got around you. Believe it or not.

To be honest, Nucco, if you were just hearing for that for the first time, I think it's a great summation of this program, though, of what is to come. Yeah. Yeah, particularly when we do stay in the depths of the morning. It all sort of cleans up a little bit. We do, yeah. Oh, wow. Not much.

We find our feet. We find our feet. We find our feet. We're just in the dark. We're just in the dark. Follow the sound of my bips. And me just like, try it. Is that you?

Squeezing and groping everything. Just holding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, just hold on, guys. I'll get you there. Is that a couple of cantalopes? Oh, no, it's shy guy. It's the shy lord.

Yeah. Sure. Sure. Loves it. What did you imagine when I said a couple of cantalopes? What body part is that on you? I was thinking of the animal, the cantalope. But then I wanted to do that.

That's not an animal, that's an antelope. That's an antelope. Yeah, that was what my head was doing. The old humble antelope canterloaf animal. Candelope sounds like an animal. It does. It does. Just a couple of antelopes down his pants. It's a melon.

Yeah, you've got a couple of you. It is also known as rock melon. Oh, I hate rock melon. Cantalope. Oh, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I don't eat enough rock melon. No, right. I can't say I do.

Oh, I don't mind. I don't mind it. It has to be very right. It's got to be perfect. Nice and juicy. Yeah. What season are we in for fruit right now? Where are we at with everything?

Oh, well, we're springing. Yeah. Getting into summer, which means, what? Cherries are around the corner. Mongols, baby. Mungos. Yeah, yeah. Can't wait for mangoes.

Apples bananas are pretty consistent, right? I think so. A kiwis coming in? Because I only see the gold. Green Kiwis are coming in, I believe. Green Kiwis are coming in. They're little hot boys. I'm kind of prefering the gold.

I'm kind of preferring the gold nowadays. Do you know what? Me too, but I saw in the shops the other day, imported from NZ. Nothing against NZ fruit, but I'm like, no, I only want my Aussie-grown fruit. Yeah, that's what we want. It can only get green.

It's the Kiwi fruit. You know, you're getting it from the source. I am. But how far is that thing traveled just to get into my gob? I don't like it. Three hours on a jet start flight, I presume. That's true. Longer by truck.

Yeah. From Queensland, maybe. Yeah, I could have gone to Queensland and truck down. Now you can bring up an interesting point, which is better. I thought I was doing better for the environment, having homegrown. Homegrown stuff's always, you know. But if it's on the road longer, where do we grow our Kiwi fruits? That's a good question.

Google it. Where are the green Kiwis? Morning Babs, Browling. On Australian soil. Babbs is just waking up out there, just far away off. Shefferedon, Goldham Valley, Sun Raysia, North Coast of New South Wales around Kops. I should have known that, duck. I spent a lot of time in the Golden Valley.

and if I remember correctly, the billboard as you enter, the Fruit Bowl of Victoria. Of course. Of course. S.P.C. Yo, fruit. Nothing like it. Hungry little human beans. Shy guy. Surging ahead on our quick fingers challenge.

You're awake, Babs? Yeah, I'm awake. I did try, but. Hey, all you can do is try. Dougo, I think I knocked her around a bit too much yesterday. Oh, yeah. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. We, the team, the team suit up in gridon kit.

We did. We are a pretty of a gridiron team. We all go our positions. There is a young man who is trying to get this sport as big as your NRL-AFL union. Yeah. And I think he's just got four new recruits. He just got us. I don't know if he wants us.

Different body shapes. Hopefully we can play. Wasn't that him dancing on eggshells? We're like, what positions would we play? And he's like, ah. Line back up. You're a defensive back. Yes, which I'm on it.

Yeah, go. Hit hard. I'm honoured to be that for our team. You me and Babs were all pretty similar Yeah, yeah He's looking at all up and down And the shy guy He's like you

You with those long levers Receiver I was actually Gold seeing your legs in those tight Gridiron pants Was something I'll never forget Yeah There's a video coming out after seven Bicycle pants

In my mind's eye Nothing I thought could usurp him In pyjamas Remember pyjama day And we got gifted them And he's wearing those little pyjamas Well no I think Shy guy now in gridiron pants

That's my favourite mental image. Hilarious. There's a great video to come off to seven. We'll get into it more. Yes. We do have a big Wednesday show. Shagai dips.

We'll have a bit of scandal with that today. I'm not impressed. And I don't know who to blame, Ducker. I know you and I aren't at fault. Oh, good. There needs to be an investigation. Oh, it could be you or Babs. I just assumed it was on me.

Yeah, me too. It's greatly on you. But there's supplementary layers to this scandal. Could it be the end of dips. I doubt it. Geez, I hope not. They don't have to do Shy Guy Licks. Which I'm also excited.

excited for, so, you know. I'm desperate to get to Sharga Licks. What's he licking today? It's me. It's a couple of candlelops. What else we got on today? Oh, the co-of-od. That's right.

You're getting bold in the show. You win a night's day at the gorgeous Q-T Newcastle, with some spending money to go nuts solar on room service. Hell yeah. That'd be great. Up next, I need to take us to Canberra. There is a poo scandal at the health department. Oh, no. Actually, is the health department or I thought it was the, I thought it was the, is it the

Parliament? Yeah, I thought it was Parliament. Nice. So it's the health office. So we're all the health politician. Oh, yeah, great. Within the camera. Not in Parliament House, they've got their own building.

Oh, of course. Skomo was out. He was in anything. I thought that was the end of the poo scandal in Parliament. It would appear not. It would appear their pooie players there. Okay. I love unpacking this stuff.

Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko. I don't have any music to take us to the nation's capital. I don't have a can. Canberra music bed. Oh, quickly. Find artists hailing from Canberra. Aconic and duck.

Oh. There you. But that feels too fun for Canberra. I couldn't agree more. Yeah. Do you have anyone else? I mean, the duck will do. Because I got, ha.

Great knowledge, though, about Canberra muses. We've had this conversation before. We have. Pardon us for forgetting any Canber knowledge. We might have, yeah. I think we have, actually. Who's from? The only other one is Sappio.

Oh, yeah. We've made part of with peaking dust. Whoa, whoa, duck, come on. Guys. Who we got? Peaking duck, Safia. Teen Jesus and the gene teases. Oh, hang on.

Team Jesus? I didn't want to drive it to be like that. Sorry, Babi. Please don't talk over Teen Jesus and the gene teases. Sorry, I tried to pull back and I was already in it. No, fair enough. That's the first time I've seen you commit. What did you say?

I was going to say, I didn't think you guys would know who they are. I know who they are. Do you? Yes. What do they sing? Like R, it's called like A, H, H, H, H, H, H, H. Ah. Don't put us in a box.

We're big fans of Team Jesus and the Gene Teases. They don't sing this. They don't sing this. They're probably doing a cover. Could you just play the anthem? Could. Yeah, that's probably a better call Shaga. No, but that belongs to everyone Shagga, not just Canberra.

Yeah. They don't own the anthem. Yeah, anyway. That song breaks it down a bit. I've never got that far in the bed. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, while we're here, let's get back to business, okay? Get back on track, because this is an important story.

We're in the nation's capital as this has been released. Emails from 2017 have been released because there's been a new freedom of information request. Oh, we love that. Freedom of speech. And this is to expose things that the government's up to or to know where your money's going, yada, yada. However, the freedom of speech inquest has exposed a public servant's inquiry regarding the mail toilets at the Canberra headquarters for the Australian Department of Health and Aging. Okay. We've had an inquiry.

I've heard of like the Royal Commission into meat pricing Other things like that This is into dropping the plied out In fact they're probably making it cheaper But I also love the specification Just the male toilets We've needed to do a deep dive Like here it's always a female toilets

That are under investigation Yeah it is you guys got some poo bandits Whereas in Parliament The male toilets A lot of questions A lot of questions about us So the email reads Hi team

Could we trial a very low plied toilet paper for a week on the L4 men's bathrooms. Oh, specifically level four. Not even across parliament. No. Just level four. That's like, what, four cubicles, max? Yeah, there goes on.

We've had an ongoing issue with a staff member blocking toilets on a regular basis. Stop. Because they are doing such big, you know, number twos. Yes. But also, using so much toilet paper. That it's just the poor Canberra pipes, which I imagine a bit older, cannot handle it. I don't know if the solution is low ploy. That's just now everyone's suffering.

It says the email chain is titled Toilet Paper Correspondence. How professional. It then says, could officers, service officers, please bring a box of low ply with them just to test it out for a few days? Bring your own for a bit. Bring your own ply for a bit. Before we commit petty cash to this. And also, yes, they don't want to change the whole order supply because that would affect

every toilet. Correct. It's just level four. Could you imagine being someone who's just got a clean bail? everything's fine. You're like, what? I can't go any lower on the ply. This will just destroy my sphincter. I've worked hard. I put in my eight hours a day for my measly sums. I deserve three-ply quilton. Give it to me. Because I've one idiot colleague. Now we all have to work with sandpaper. So listen to this. Six months later, an email has confirmed after more emails released that the department agreed to switch to a more flushable option for everyone on the level.

Mate, is that not bureaucracy at its finance? Six months at talk to actually have a result. Because I've got six months left of this paper. So the current product was the TMS 700 sheet toilet rolls of 48. They then moved to the ABC Premium 2-ply 700 sheet toilet paper. Two-ply. So it was cheaper. They then tried to sell it as, this isn't just better for the plumbing.

It's cheaper for everyone. It's better for the country. It's better for the country. It is better for the country. Exactly right. Wow. So then they moved it. And apparently, no issues.

Hang on, so no blocked pipe issues. No block pipe tissues. But where's the email correspondence about chafed but holes? Because of the crappy sandpapery toilet paper. When you have bad toilet paper, it just destroys everything. I'm not exactly thrilled with what we roll with. Work sucks. Work once.

What ply are we on babs? Because you used to make the orders. You don't know, apply we got? No idea. This is a single. This is that awful, humongous roll. This is that like you can poke your finger through it. Like, you can see through it.

Which means you need more. To feel fully covered, you need... Why? Our workplace is so crap. We're running with that. Who gives a crap stuff at home? And it's not... Because it's both the environment,

but it's not actually good either. That stuff... So we, I paid a bit extra and I did the bamboo. Yeah. And that... Is it good? See, I like the feeling of the bamboo. Angus thinks...

We're just crossing a Jess on the toilet. You know, I don't have to strain. I actually need to go now. Just talking about it has made me want to go check out the plight. But Angus thinks the best. Bamboo, he used the word too slippery because it's... See, I think I'd be in his camp.

Yes, because it's smooth. You want something with a bit of grit. It's almost silky. He doesn't like it. Me and Babbs wouldn't like that one. He wants to go back. He's slippety-doodah all over the place. He's doing 55 wives.

Why is it still there? He's big bidet man. He wants to move to a bidet country. I want a bidet. In our renovation, he's tried to pitch a bidet. He's crossing wife to Angus with a bidet. That's good. Jess and Ducko.

Right now, Shagai's finally done some work. I'm doing to go. What do you got from? I've got 1980s slang words. I'm going to quiz you on them. You're going to tell me what they mean. Fun. Okay.

Badge you can play two, even though you were born in 01. Thanks. So how's you're going to know any of this? We were born in the 90s. None of us were born in the 80s. Well, you know. You can play on the text if you were born in the 80s. Oh, 4-8-1069.

You're surprised you. Do you know it? I fluked that. Yeah. Just so everyone is. It does roll off the time. It does. It does.

It does. It does. It does. All right. First one. There's no points. It's just chime in. Okay.

Tubular. What a tubular mean? That's an actual word though. Yeah. For slang. We're talking slang. Sure. You said it's like with a T, tubular or tubular?

T. Like, tubular. Totally tubular. Tubular. That's coming up. I don't know. I don't know what the slang for tubular would be. Is it cool?

It means fantastic, awesome. I'll, I'll quote. in there. Hey, speaking of cool. Here we go. Now, if I was to say, totally tubular. Oh, totally cool. I reckon it's the opposite. Oh, yeah, totally.

It's actually bad. Oh, like your chat. No. Do you want to keep trying on. Please don't put more generational slang in this conversation. No cap, no cap. Nah. It means sexy.

So tubular is awesome, but totally tubular is sexy. Yeah. Fantastic. Oh, sorry, it means sexy. Yep. Next one. You might know this one. Grotty.

What'd mean to be grody? Like, you're a grot. Yeah, disgusting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It originated from the 80s. That's still going strong, I reckon. Some of these are still going. Who in this team is a grot?

Not looking at anyone. There's no mirrors in here. The pew outside's nice today. I shower, and I brought a towel this time. You do smell at your shouts today. Hey, I didn't look at you. That's so good. I freaking cut my apple nice.

I saw my mouth noises. Didn't piss off baths. I'm trying, guys. I'm trying. She is. No, you're doing great. All right. Bogus.

Bogus. Oh, it's fake. That's correct. Yeah, yeah. That's bogus, man. Yeah, man. You're going to jump her jerk off. Okay.

Next one. Deck. Oh, I'm going to deck you. I'm going to deck you. Yeah, hit strongly. Oh, hit strongly. Nice. I'm going to knock your lights out.

A puncher. I'm going to deck you. I reckon that is still going. It's still going. And bogus is still sort of around. Totally. Trupula is the only one that I think is dull. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know that this one's still around. Nooky. Yeah, nookie. Get the head rub? No, nooky is to kiss or sex? It means sex. Yeah. Get a little nookie.

My nookies are different. Noogie. Yeah, you're thinking a noogie. Oh, you're trying to nookie, but you're nookie. This whole time, my high school life failed me. You guys want a noogie? They're like, nookie? No.

All right. When I come over for a noogie? No, thank you. Crib? Yeah, come my house. Come my palace. Yeah, you have to be at home. Someone's watched MDV recently.

Remember Crives? Mdivis? Yeah, yeah. This is a great show. And then half of them were just rented houses. Were they? Were they? Yeah.

Oh, peel back the cut. Don't ruin that for me. Do you know what I liked? Pimp my Rye. Pimp my Rive is great show. Remember the one where they put a jacuzzi in the back of the youth? You know what I loved? Date my daughter.

What a show! I don't know if I ever saw that. Mums would say, moms would interview with the son and try and sell their daughter. And the three daughters would come out of the limo and he wouldn't know who's who. And he would have to be. pick it based off the mum and often he'd get the least attractive and you'd see his face being like

ugh. No, thanks. So you're wild joke. Man, that was some great shows. What happened to reality TV? I know. I know. Decked out? Like, oh, like, you're like, glammed out. Yeah, gear on.

Glammed up. Yeah, got a gear on. That's still good. Yeah, we're decked out. Isn't it so funny to say deck? Yeah. He's to punch, but decked out. Get dressed up. Yeah, it was like nogie.

No, it's not like that. A few more. Ralph. To Ralph. Rout. Oh, vomish. Yes. Oh, I didn't know that.

Yeah, I watch too many old American things, I think. Ralph. Mondoo. Mondo. Can you use it in a sentence? Whoa, that's Mondeau. That's cool. That's unbelievable.

Well, that's crazy? Yeah, that's like. It's fake? No. Mundo. Maybe give us another scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Ducko's acting clock.

Look at that Mondoo rock. That's big? Huge. Mondeau rock. Yeah, Mondoo, I don't know. Look at that Mondo shy guy. Yeah, yeah. And yuppie.

What does it mean to be a yuppie? Yuppie rich. Like minted. Yeah, like bourgeoisie. That's what it is. You're a yuppie. Well, in the 80s, it meant to be an urban professional. Yucco's like, no, it doesn't.

No, yuppie is like rich. Yuppie is like, you're a, take it up with the 80s. You're a yuppie. You're a yuppie in the 90s. You might have a bowl. This is 80. Like, if you went someone's house, oh, you're a yuppie, you've got a, you've got a pool table. Why are you arguing with a magazine quiz from the 80s?

This is really, from totally. And he's reading it verbatim? It is. It's someone strongly. All right, mate. That's the quiz. All right, one more, one more. Soinked.

Are tired? Yeah, exhausted. It's zonked, not zoinged. Well, take that up with take five, okay? Not me. What a quiz. Yay! I have done it

Turn in love Jess and Ducko in the morning Jess and Ducko's 10K Alpha Bucks On hit Upper Bugs You have 30 seconds to answer 10 questions

We'll start with the same letter I have to take your first answer You cannot use the same answer twice And if you're unsure of the question You can say pass We're only come back of course though If there is time We are playing for $10,000

Our player today is Kate Hello Kate Hi guys Kate, I asked for the chosen one because there's just been a spate of mediocre. Let's not bet around the bush. Crappy players! Bad players.

I said the chosen one will punch through at 6.30. Oh no, I've even got the music in the background. It's UK. Babbs looked us and said, this is the one. The divine intervention. The clouds have parted. The sunshine down's on Kate. Are you ready to win 10 grand?

Yes. You sound really sure of that. Anyone who laughs and giggles like that? I know they're a player. It's going off today. It is going off today. It's been too long. Shy guy's been sitting on this thing like a mother hen for way too long.

What do you want to spend the money on? My daughter's buying herself a fancy new car, so I'm going to buy her car and have Bluetooth for the first time in my life. God, love you. Bluetooth is the aspirational. You can get Apple car play now. I know. It's going to be awesome.

I have to get rid of all my CDs. Oh, the CD stacker. Kate. All right, Kate, come on. It's a solid letter. for you. It's R. R for Renault.

I'm not sure if that's what your daughter's car is. Imagine if it was. What a great owner. No, it's a Toyota something. She doesn't. Oh, it's a Ravrefour. There you go. Okay.

Hang on a minute. Are you ready to rock? I'm ready to rock. All right. Your time will start after the first question, chosen one. I'll say good luck. She doesn't need it. She's a chosen one.

Do you and your family? I got this in the bag. Absolutely. Starting with a letter R. We need you to name An Olympic sport Rings A band

A PASS An adjective A Radiant A clothing print Um Rayband Periodic element A

Pass A country A country. Remaining. A fruit. The chosen one of two minutes of talk. We come out of the gate with rings. I was mistaken about the blessed intervention.

The chosen one is here. Rings. We're off. We should have stopped. At what point do we stop? I know. Kate, you, you knew, are you? Shy guy.

There is a pen away. Now, actually, gymnastics. Oh, here we go. No, that's not a sport. Gymnastics has rings. I suppose it's part of the port of gymnastics. It is part of gymnastics. The Rings is an artistic gymnastics event held at the Summer Olympics.

The Rings. That's what I was thinking of. The rings hanging down. Yeah, sure, okay. Could have had rowing or rugby. Yeah. To a sport. Yeah.

We actually talk about a lot of this show. A fair bit, yeah. A ban could have been red hot chili peppers, adjective rapid, a periodic element radium or radon. A fruit could have been raspberry. I think we'd run out of time and momentum. But you don't get the money. You do get a custom phone case.

All thanks to KCify, though. Oh, brilliant. Love it. Thank you. You could put the Olympic rings on the back of your phone. We can't award rings, hey, because it's under athletics. I think so. I think we're opening up too much from that.

That's too, yeah. It's an activity within the sport. Yeah, that's true. It's like saying kicking a goal is a sport in footy, don't you reckon? Yeah, no, I think it is opening. Yeah. I mean, there'll be people out there. There'll be rings players out there who will be just livid right now.

But, you know. Hey, man, if you want to give cake 10 grand, By all means, you do it. She needs Bluetooth, God damn it. We're not going to do it. Hey, thanks for playing, Kate. You're a bit of fun. Thank you.

Love you, Kate. But it wasn't great. It was the opposite. I want you to be honest. When you sit down for an adult film, what's your side of choice? Shagai, you want to take this one buddy? Or you on me too?

No, no, you first. Because if you're vulnerable, he'll be vulnerable. Well, there's only one. Oh, is there a... No. Spoken like a rookie. I think he said side, like food. Oh, my God.

I thought that's a Jess question if I ever heard one. No, sight. Sight. No, there's only one. Yeah, there's only one. Well, that one owns all of the other ones anyway. Expair your horizon, would you? What's yours?

You go on what, you go on all. That's too heavy for you, man. Yeah, what are you? It's too, it's too upper level. You won't. What are you like? You won't be able to handle it. Absolutely going to pay for it.

Who's paying for it? Jess is? It's for the good stuff. Have you? I had a great name. I had a great name. I don't think I'm saying, damn. Oh, I'll tell you.

Oh, okay. He's, he's not wrong. I hate when you do. Sorry. Quickly, run. Okay. Run here. Run here.

We'll do it again. I don't think I can say it on air. Do you anything I can say it on air? Nah, no, no. Okay. If you're saying no. Oh, hang on. Yeah, go on.

No, no, I'm worried. I don't want to give you the green light and then you get in trouble. It was just an idea for a... Okay, Babs. Why? No, don't say it. There's not a point running in if you're not going to react. No, we've said it twice.

I'm all too decensitized to it. I know. I don't know what that. Okay, I'm not going to say. Because you're not wrong. We'll say it in the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say the podcast.

Yes. Okay. I've only experienced that once, though. Well, I mean, and he did good work for the whole. Brand. Anyway, the reason I ask you, which are being very coy and weird about it. What do I play the head? That's it.

That's there. No, I just don't believe that's the only one you dabble in. No, truly. Okay. You're a one-sight man. Oh, yours's because you're cheap. You don't want to pay multiple subscriptions. Yeah, I can't be doing that.

What's his subscription, honey? You've got a kid now. You've had to have a look at the budget. I have to really sit down. You're going to your bank statement. Does it say the... I don't know. Does it just say...

You reckon he's going through the family admin? Is it anonymous? Let's do our finance. That's a Morgan question. I'll text her what it comes up on their joint statement. The reason I ask. Stucko, is because there is a level that I think we all enjoy with these sites of anonymity. You can just go on the internet.

Yeah, we all click that button. I'm over 18. It lets you in. The government has decided that little button, it's not enough. They are now introducing, obviously, to protect the youth. And I think it's a great initiative to protect the youth from accessing these things. No longer will it just be the button saying, oh, yeah, you're over 18. Same one like Dan Murphy's has.

you now have to put your ID in there. You have to put like facial recognition in there to prove your age. Now I see what they're trying to do. It makes sense for the youth. It makes sense for the youth. They've rolled this out in the UK, haven't they, shy guys? Yeah, a couple months ago. But that means anyone who wants to access it, you could be 34.

You also have to do this to prove that you are over. It makes it feel naughty and gross doing it then. Of an age where you're allowed, like, when you're older, you'd be like, it's a normal natural thing if you want to do it. But now you'd be like, oh, I'm going to put it in my ID and now I'm going to put it in a face recognition. There's an element of, although now they know. They know because right now it's just, I don't know how they got on my internet history. Exactly. But now they can link.

And with all the breaches that we are having, it makes me a little like, oh, God, they now know your name. They know your face. They know your address. Of course, they know your birthday. And yes, I think the benefit outweighs that. Yeah, yeah. But it also just feels like. Like, are you 18?

Yes. It's elbow now knowing what you're into. But see, Albo's going to have to put his ID down, too. He loves a good, he loves a good go. Every politician must be shaking. Does he? Allegedly. Next time we get it on the show.

I feel like you've got to say allegedly there. You're going to get in my. Hey, you can't say he doesn't. Hey, man, he played once with our elbow bucks. He did play Albo bucks. And he had a great cut. It was one of the questions. Your favourite website, beginning with Pee, he's like,

porn up. All right, Albo. None of this happened, okay? I don't want to get cancelled. None of this happened. This has been a wild three minutes. It has. Have I told you about the time I completely destroyed the family computer, the Windows PC

with viruses, when I was like, when I was a kid. Off the hub. So back in the day when internet was sort of more, you know, you had to plug in your internet cable and all that sort of stuff. The dial-up. The lime wire. You'd literally go on line wire as a, you know, as a teen, young, dumb, whatever. And you try and you try and find like 30-second tease.

trailers to like online stuff and then that would come would be like a 20 or a 30 second trailer and it would just riddle your computer with viruses and the family only had one computer and all of a sudden you've got viruses galore I'm trying to download holly valance on my lime wire bit of kiss kiss there's little ducko he's there legs dangling in the chair you've had to hoist yourself up on the desk chair roll yourself in and I may be the only one to admit it, but there's a lot of guys out there right now who destroyed family PCs, okay? Virus galore.

Well, this might help that too, maybe, I don't know. Jess and Ducco. Yesterday was at a store, buying some clothes, and that's not important. I don't know why I said it. So now I'm desperate to ask you what, but it's not important? It's so important, yeah, yeah.

I just knew if I said a store, you go, what store? And I don't want to name the store because I didn't ask for permission to, if I could say this. No, no, no, that's fine. And then as I was, this guy'd served me, really nice guy, everything fine. He never once implied that he knew me, knew I was, was a show listener, whatever, which is fine. He's just doing his job. He's doing his job.

And he's doing it well. I went up to pay. And at the end, when I finished paying, because there was another few people behind me, and I think he did it as like a bit of a power play. As in, he's got a crowd. Yeah, yeah. He's got a crowd down. And I go, thanks so much, but I have a good day.

He goes, no worries, big wheels. Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic. It's good gear. I would have waited for a crowd too, brother. And at first I was like, you what? Oh, tushé by friend. And the people behind.

Tell me you're hitting back with a turbo. No, I was just in shock. I think I was just dead solid. I was just laughing my head off. Then the guys behind us were like, did he just big wheels in? A big wheels in the wild. If you have the big wheels us in the wild, I like, that is a top 1% for me. That is, that's like a code.

You don't have to say anything else. You don't have to say, hey, daco. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to say, I enjoy or don't enjoy the show. Well, no. come up and say big wheels. You'll automatically get a fridge magnet. Big, you carry them on.

You should all walk around and carry. Yeah, fridge magnets. Maybe it's a bit smaller. That is. I'll get Babs to call you on Monday and give you on or whatever. But yeah, I know, it was very funny. No, let's be real. You call Babs because Duck was going to forget to pass on your detail.

Jess and Ducko. I reckon producer shy guys having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. My guy. I'm so excited. I want shy guys. Hey, no matter what the weather's doing, this.

We'll put some pap in your steps and lead your pencil. It'll get you going, baby. We dip on Wednesdays. But before we dip this week, doco. Yes, I was just getting lost in the moment. And I'm sorry to pull you out of that moment. But there's an inquisition that needs to happen. Things are going awry behind the scenes.

You and I, I think, have our hands clean. Because you and I do nothing outside of Have Fun Yuff. Oh, yeah, yeah. These two, and I don't know who else is involved. He's bringing this game into disrepute. What's happened? Katie! DMs us, Ducko, Jess and Ducko, Instagram.

You can always slide in. You'll remember Katie from last week, Ducko. She won. She won the Choco Cosmic Stars. Yes, that's right. She DMs us yesterday. Hey, Jess, hey, Ducko. I received my box of the Choco Cosmic Stars.

Okay, good. Firstly, it took a week to get to it. I mean, postage, you know. All right. We're not playing Express. I didn't love that. But all right, you're happy to let that one say. Trust me, the cereal's not expiring.

Yay for me, she says. But I was told, along with the Choco Cosmic Stars, I was to get JD merch. Yeah, jiz bit, the fridge magnet. I received no gizabeth. What? I've received no magnet. What? I've received no bottle opener.

I was pumped to put your beautiful, luscious faces on my fridge to view daily. I am super sad. She does not stop there, Ducko. What she said? Also, on the back of my Chocco Cosmic Stars, there's a little game, a little puzzle. Yes. It would appear a shy guy filled it in. I was bored and then I signed it.

You're giving her pre-filled it. To be fair, shy guy signed it. It could be worth something, you know what I mean? But obviously, she's not a shy guy fan. She goes, shy guy's done my puzzle. I don't think Katie is. You can't be doing the puzzle on the back of the cereal. So not only have you not given Katie the swag that we bang on about.

Yeah. You've also done the fun puzzle on the back. Yeah, well, the swag's been taken care of behind the scenes a few days ago. Right, Babs? Yeah, I've already sent out. Do you send them separately? Why do you send it separately? You've got to send it.

Why don't we send it to the warrant? Because I put the box in reception and then realize that I forgot to put the rest of it in there. That's unacceptable. Shy Guy just goes, Jesse, he's goes, ah, points the Babs. I was like, like, I'm trying with her. Sorry, the game is shy guy. Your name's all over there. It's worth more than the 799 at 80.

I think playing the game. Choose the clues. We should give the, we should give the call the option if you want them to sign or play the game. Because he's basically defaced the box. I signed it. It's art. No, I think the done the puzzle bit is what's upset Katie the most. More so on top of her not getting her merch.

Can I just clarify, are we going to be sending these together, moving forward? Yeah, together moving forward. But as I said, I put the box in reception and then went, oh, crap, I forgot to put the rest of the other. I said it. I said. I'm not playing Sally, but Katie will get her magnet probably tomorrow because it got sent. So we can't afford to pay Express Postage, but now we're doing two parcels. Two double parcels.

afford cereal for the game. What do you mean? And you're signing it. I'm worried. This better go smooth as anything today. We need this to be one package, team. Otherwise, it's shy guy licks next week.

Which I'm not mad about it. We are running out of cereal. Neither am I. You said we're running out of cereal since February. We're right. But we do thank Katie for keeping us honest. Keep us honest. Always call us out on our crap.

Like the 50 people who call to say Babs can't do maths, we love it. It only makes us better and stronger. Babs doesn't love that. Bats isn't loving any of this. Well, be better, everyone. You guys hear it all one every day and you just forgot to send it together. Let's make good. All right.

Shagai, clue today, please. There's no games on this one. No games. Nothing to the face. 13, 10, 60. It's not even in a box. You'll get another clue as well. That's a supplementary.

Oh, not in a box. Not even in a box. What? Shock horror. Shockwaves. Jess and Duck. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you?

My milk, my muck. Shy guy dips. I'm so excited. I want Shy Guy's box. You should be. Hell yeah. Not only do you win an unopened box of cereal, whether it's been defaced by Shy Guy, it remains to be seen.

Such, that's just so funny. Allegedly, you also win. He would have mucked the quiz up too. I probably got it wrong too, which is just embarrassing. Nah, nailed it. It was like a maze. There's like two paths. How long is it to take you to that maze?

One leads to Earth from the wrong. rocket ship and one discos to the galaxy. See, this is what they do after nine. They miss in packages. And they do quizzes of the boxes. To bring the rice cookers in, we'd love to do a team lunch. We've got exciting news coming up. We wanted to do a team lunch. Thursday feels good. Chai I can't. Can't busy day. How many puzzles on cereal boxes are you doing that day? Just the one ever. Yeah. So we go to Val this morning. Hello Val. Good morning. Val, we've already had two clues. You will get a supplementary being the first caller. But Shy guy has told us, there is no game on this serial.

There's no box. In fact, there's no box. But you get another clue, darling, Val. Yeah, Val. Val, there's two tractors on the packet. Oh, geez. Just get into Val. The air, Val.

He's in a good mood today after doing the quiz. He clearly got the moon to the rocket or whatever it was. What's the cereal? Sorry, what was the second? The last clue? There is. There's two tractors on it, Vow, two tractors. Oh, two tractors.

Yeah. Well, it's not the one that I was thinking, though. I'll think of the Parman's toasted muesley. That's not in the box. That's not, yeah. Val, that is incorrect, but I've got to say. She's flirting with that.

Val had the one tractor box, not the two, which is what is tripping her up. 131060. Carmen is a one tractor lady. Yeah, obviously. This packet, two tractors. 131060, you'll get more clues. We go to Timmy. Good morning, Tim.

Tim, we promise you'll get the jiz bit, the fridge magnet and the bottle opener. But you also get the cereal if you can tell us what it is. No game on this one. It's not in a box. There's two tractors. Another clue. Two words. Oh, geez.

Is it a bag of Uncle Pottie's rollout? Oh, my gosh. My God. I mean, yes but no. I know, Tim. Like, you have gone so. Which has actually been your downfall. Which normally helps you.

As an oat boy, I'm a huge oak guy. Does Uncle Toby's come in a box or a bag? Mine is a box. Okay. Mine is a box. I think it comes in a bag. And Uncle Toby's oats, Tim,

elite, good on you as part of the oat family. Oh my God. If you had just not said one element. I know. You're rolling with it, Tim. You have just crawled so everyone else could walk. I thought Val had done a lot of work. Yeah. Tim has walked it to the finish line.

Can Wren take it over? Hi, Wren. Hi, how you going? Good, Rand. Did you hear Tim's guess? I did not hear his guess. I was giving you a call. Oh, goodness.

Okay, well, this is just, you can't write this stuff. This is high stakes. She gets another clue. Yeah, she does. Yeah, Clue, Ren, is, it's Ducko's favorite. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's huge. If you're a big listen to the show, Ren, you'll know.

I only have one cereal every single day. Okay, I'm going to, I think I know what it is. Yeah. I think it's the red tractor Roldo Now when you say red tractor Do you mean because there's a red tractor on the bag Are you trying to lock in a brand name

Because can I advise you to just drop the brand name Okay we'll drop the brand name It's just Roldo I'm gonna say it's Roldo Yes Yes Woohoo Nailed it

Jeez who would have thought the tractor clue Would throw so many people off To be fair to all the rice cookers We have made them be very specific For this game Exactly because we had one incident where the flavour was wrong and you think, well, she's guessed peach, but she's going to get berry in the mail, and we didn't want to cop hate.

Let's why Bab said this one out to you with all your goodies. Ren, it's technically golden veil, but I know Red Tractor is a brand. It's a whole thing. Anyway, hey, hey, hey, let's get out of business. I knew that. You knew it. Reni, we just need you to say one long tour. Just take it away.

Ren, we're not on a nice clear. Hi, my name's Ren, and I'm so excited. Hang on, Ducko, it's a bag, not a box. Oh, well, I want Shy Guy's bag. All right. Hi. Wren, come on. Hi.

Bag, bag, bag. It's a one week only. Hi, my name's Ren. My name's Ren. Hang on a minute. Don't drop the gun. Hi, my name's Ren. And I'm so excited.

I just want Shy Guy's bag. All right, here we go. Roll in and put your bag down, Shiger. Action. Hi, my name's Red. I'm so excited. I just won shy guy's bag. We're so close, Reddy.

One more time. Just one more time from the top. You've got it. Hi. And also, you drop at the end, which I didn't love. Hi. My name's Ren. And I'm so excited.

I just want, and he's name's Shy Guy. Okay. Shy guy's bag. Bag. All right. Hit the G. And action. Hi.

My name's Ren. I'm so excited. I just won Shy Guy's bag. Yeah. Yeah, well done! Jess and Ducko. The team's taken on a new adventure. That's right.

We haven't been able to land on a team hobby. Yeah. A team extracurricular. Yep. We finally found it. We finally found the thing. Ducker, you introduced us to fantasy football. Yep.

It's a new shade for you. Yep. You're now managing three? Four teams. God, it's getting hectic. I'm a jam of once. And the one I put the least effort into I'm doing really well. And the others I'm not.

Good on you. I mean, you're a tough. It's a rocky start when two of your real-life players in your fake fantasy league actually got done for criminal stuff. Yeah, jail time. And then one of them just scaled your shoulder in the first three plays. God, it's a whole thing, but that's not important. So you've introduced us to this code, really?

Bit of grid iron stuff. I mean, Travis Kelsey did a lot for introducing it. I feel like he did. But I said, I want to try the kit on. Me and Shiger would be hilarious in that kit. And I've never tried it on. The pads and the helmet. Enter the Central Coast Sharks Gridiron team.

That's right. The President and Championship. ship player himself, Scott, reaches out and says, hey guys, you want to take the fantasy football into reality? I'll come on up. I'll come on over to the studios. He had his ring too because the Central Coast Sharks of the Hunter premiers. Absolutely, they are.

Yeah, yeah. His partner representing Australia brought her. Crazy seats. Helmets worth upwards of $1,000. Expensive. And he let us play with them. Yep. He let us.

He came into our boardroom. We had a chat to him. There's a video up now on Jess and Darko. Go check it out. It's very funny. It's not funny. It's very serious. I think we're very good.

We're going to get picked for the club. All different skill levels within our team. Which is good because I learned lots of different roles to play. Like a drama club. Lots of different roles. It's like the grid iron team to a drama club. In grid iron, because you've got your quarterbacks and your running backs and your linebackers and some other backs. Jessica told you was a linebacker defender.

Which I don't know what that means. But you loved it. And I said in Remember the Titans, who plays the linebacker. And Scott went, well, it's just. You were just trying to draw everything back to remember the Titans, and Scott was like, I really can't remember that movie that well. I started quoting Coach Carter, and he went wrong code. I went, oh, you can choose.

It was very fun, though. We got the gear on, and we made a huddle. We did, like, an entrance to, like, coming out to a big game. Absolutely. So we got our entrance on. We're lacking a bit of the pyro and the college bands and the cheerleaders that college football seems to have, and let alone the actual NFL.

Yeah. But I've got to tell you, I think I've got the bug. Oh, man, it's good, isn't it? And I'm surprisingly light all that gear. The shoulder pads were pretty light. It's pretty amazing to think... And didn't you just want to hit something? Does it make you be concerned, though, Ducco, putting all that on?

Yeah. Like, the men and women who play the Aussie codes, your Aussie rules, your union, your NRL, did they go on out there padless? Yeah, padless. And yet, the American, mainly Americans. Yeah, yeah. Well, grid iron. I mean, they do lead with their head and grid iron, so the helmet is probably a must at the shoulder.

Vital. I very much enjoyed our skinny bean pole shy guy. I'll never not see your legs in tight NFL pants or green iron pants. Well, there was some confusion about how to wear the proper grid iron pants. This is shy guy trying to work out his costume. Does it go above or below the knee? I'm very concerned. Scott was like, come on, man.

He's like, what do I do here? Please just watch the video just for shy guy's legs alone. He's just rolling it up and down. He goes, I'm going to look like a fool. I better ask. Is it a bubble below the knee, Scott? But again, not the only man on our grid iron team. concerned about his costume.

I was feeling myself. Wait, how does my butt look at it in? Fantastic. From all angles. You know what? You gave me the confidence I needed. And my butt got good. We looked like,

someone put it on our socials. We looked like the Timu grid iron team, which is very funny. You bought an NFL grid iron team from Timu. You spun the wheel and you got us in the boat. When you hunted the ball to Babs, who was playing quarterback, and then Babs is like,

ah, because you like hit her in the finger. Broke her finger. Oh, there was confusion about whose line was weird. I thought I got to do the hut hut. Yeah. Then we were educated by Scott. It was funny.

The person whose hands are on butt, says Hutt. Shark I trying to throw the ball long ways and said... Yeah, we nearly knocked out a TV in that boy. Yeah, we do. I think it's a great lesson, though. For kids and adults alike, you never too old to try something new. Absolutely. And the sharks are looking for players, the other hunter team.

And we should say the local, obviously, gridiron leagues around your area, always looking for players and for teams. They do great work. A lot of these guys are spending all their own money. Guys and girls are spending all their own money. Yes. It's expensive. It is.

You can travel. We're trying to get people into the league, don't get them out of the league. No, no, it's expensive, but you've got to do it, and it's worth it, and they're good people. These are the people building up the league on Aussie shores. It was pretty cool to be a part of it. It was fun. We'll go watch a game when they're in town.

Oh, my God. And season starts in summer, though. Geez, it'd be hot. Oh, my God. Oh, geez, all that gear. All that padding. Oh, maybe they can roll their pants above the knee a little bit more. Yes, absolutely.

Check the video up now. It's on Jess and Duck on Instagram. Check it out. Thanks to the Central Coast Sharks and Scotland, the guys. I mean, guys, it felt good. It felt good. I reckon Babs, we're moving away from soccer. Weekends, Team Gridiron.

What do you reckon? Woo. That's the being enthusiastic from her. No one hated it more than Babs. I actually had fun. It was fun. Babs, give us your bet. You didn't want to put the pants on because you were in a skirt and then you did and you liked it.

Yeah, that's true. If anyone needed the pants, it was Babs, quickly to take us to the ads, Bab. Give us your best. Hut, Hut, Hut. Three, 32. Hutt. Yeah, yeah, go. 3.32.

Give me the ball, Jess. Hutt. You'll work on that. Do you reckon I say what the phone topic is before I read out first and then we get to the phone topic? I reckon tell me the story. Yep. Because let the rice cookers imagine what you then want to ask.

Okay. See if anyone nails it. There is a new thing happening, mainly in the states for sports, a basketball, grid iron, whatever it may be, where people are throwing sex toys onto the court or the field, mainly in the form of. dildo, right? So when you go to a stage production, it's pretty stock standard. Maybe you'd throw a rose as the lead actor takes their bow.

Is this a way to say, great game, fellas? Could you imagine throwing sex toys at lead actors on stage after Romeo and Juliet? You'd knock out Juliet. And now, pardon me. Are these all women's games that people are throwing the... A bit of both, right? It's resurfaced again as Cleveland Browns played the Bengals on Sunday. Now, this is men's obviously NFL.

There was a big green sex toy flung onto the field. Here's a bit of audio from that game. It's a DILDA. It's a DILDA. It's a DILD. It's a DILDA. From the crowd, right? Pardon me, green is an interesting choice. Weird color, right. But it's going to stand out.

It was Fiona's. It was Fiona's. It was Fiona's. It was Fianna. Anyway, several other high-profile incidents have occurred at WNBA games. Now this is a basketball court so you can see it much more and you can't like basketballs, you can't even have sweat on the, on the court. They have people who clean it. Oh, slippery do. So have anything on the court. Whereas a football field, like a rugby field,

a bit bigger. Obviously they'll remove it. Do you reckon that's why they threw green on the gridiron field thinking it would kind of flashed in. Someone who plays rolls their ankle. He has appeared to go down on what looks to be a giant dildo. But you're right. Let's go to our sponsors. Basketball place. Yes. And also those stadiums are so tiered. You could piff that from the nosebley. A while away, right? And still hit Steph Curry. So how's this? How's this in Arizona? I've got some of the greatest audio you'll ever hear from commentators. You can only hope this problem stops

as it's spreading like wildfire. Everybody's picking up a dildo from the store, Spencer's, whatever it is, and they're just tossing it. And you can't really do much about it. You just got to have to politely ask the fans to stop throw a dildos. Wait, there's more. There's another one. This is from a different game. Okay, this is from a... I want the same commentator, though, because he sounds like a character. That brings her one for 16 from the field. As you can tell, God, not again, another dildo on the court. This time it's Herbert the Frog's green.

The other one was big and black. This is getting out of hand. Dildos are flying everywhere in the WNBA. Is that real? That sounds crazy. ESPN commentary, yeah. Kermit the Frog also could hear from me. Also, I think by that stage, this was the same guy.

This was a WNBA and there was also college basketball. It got to the point, I think there's so many people were doing it, they'd pre-planned it, that they just had to write it out. They just had to write it out. They couldn't stop it. A couple of people in high-profile incidents that have been arrested. So Delbert Carver and Caden Lopez, we're charged with disorderly conduct and public indecency. They got banned from games forever and are fine.

I don't know what your knowledge is about those products. Some of them aren't cheap. I don't know if you're throwing them at people. What a waste? They're drinking their partners are at home, like, what? That's my bright green toy I got it on charge When he comes home

He's going to cop it He is going to cop it What are they thinking So what do you want to do on 13 1066? We could go so many ways Is yours green Is what I want to ask? What colour?

No Where'd you find the adult toy I reckon? Oh that's nice Where'd you find the adult toy? God It doesn't obviously have to be a feel in anywhere I'll give you the call of fame straight away

If someone threw one at you Did you get a toy thrown out? What was thrown at you? You take your choice here. I'll open it up to anything. This could go either way. Every way. 13, 1060.

Or if you don't want to admit it, text a text line 04-8-8-106-9. But you can't win the Kofod. It's not a text of fame of day. It's call of fame. It's not a Tofod. It's a co-fod. But whatever you want to latch on to here, run with us. Where do you find the adult toy?

Is it green? I need to know if someone's got a green line. That's so weird to me. I'll do it next. One of the great phone topics. And I tell you what, the rice cookers didn't disappoint. We have a full board of calls to answer on 13, 1060. Where did you find the adult toy?

And unfortunately, we only have 10 available phone lines. Who knows who's waiting in the wings, desperately trying to tell us they own a green one. Because it's happened overseas in America a lot. Grid-on games, basketball games, NBA games, whatever it may be. There was a bright green sex toy specifically thrown in a gridine game on the weekend. How's this, though? It was thrown from a section inside the stadium. that's known as the Dog Pound, D-A-W-G.

And I also enjoyed it. It sounded like you said, sex shit. It was a dog, the dog-pound. It was a big green one. Back to get it off the fields. And then we discovered this is a huge thing in the WNBA. Here's a bit of audio from an actual WNBA game. You can only hope this problem stops

since it's spreading like wildfire. Everybody's picking up a dildo from the store, Spencer's, whatever it is. And they're just tossing it. And you can't really do much about it. You just got to have to politely ask the fans stop for a dildoves. Whose responsibility is to get that off the court?

Because that's the ref. That's not my job. It'd be the guys in the basketball who, like, they had like these big, almost like squidgy things, the mops, and they clean the sweat. I reckon they're just sweeping those. It's like you need the backstage crew to come and clear the stage. Just gildose forever.

And also, you can't even use those. You don't trust where it's been. It's just going in the bin now. You have to be. We said, imagine. Unless you throw the charger with it. I can't take this. And the charger.

Imagine if it was your partners and she sees that you're chucking the bright green one on the, court. You go buy your own. You spend your hard and money on your own to throw. Some of these things are huge. And they're not. So I went through 13, 1060.

Where did you find the adult toy? How do you have one thrown at you? Did you throw one? And do you have a green one? Do you have a, is anyone rolling around with Shrex? Long. Hey, Karen has called through. Kaz, good morning.

Good morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, good baby. Your daughter has got one. Yeah. Well, she got given one as a gift for her birthday. And so for Snapchat, she decided to go unicorn style and stick it to her forehead.

Fantastic. Yep. And then ended up with a big round bruise in the middle of her forehead for about a week and a half. Jesus. How did she, bloody? What do you even say to that? How did you get that? Karen, who...

I strapped one on. Who gave it to her? Who was the gift? Her friends. She got it from her friends. Obviously to his friends. It was like a bit of a joke, but a bit of a like, seriously. Totally.

Lisa, good morning. Good morning. How are you? Good, Liz. Have you had one thrown at you, Lisa? No, but I was walking past an aged care facility on my way to work, and it was bin day. And there sitting next to the empty bins was a nice fluorescent pink one. Okay.

Yeah, people look on the bright colors. Like it wasn't in the garbage, but someone went, oh, it's bin day and just quickly chucked it on top. Well, I think that maybe when they emptied the bin, I don't know what happened, but it was outside the aged care facility. You reckon Betty and Ray are just getting driving that point home? Well, no, Ray died, so Betty's got to look at the dress. That's exactly right.

Thank you, Lisa. Thanks, Lisa. Doesn't fluorescent pink feel more normal than green though? It does. Like, I understand pink is also probably not. Weird, but like, great. There's been a few garbage collectors, a few garbos called similar findings. Oh, they would find so many.

Are they not recyclable? I would have thought they good for the environment? Can you return and earn? The one that's bouncing around, it's just still on? He pulls back into the tip and they go, why is your truck vibrating? Oh, it was a big day for a clear-out. Huge day at the old people's home. My God, they are just, I know what is happening in there.

They've elaborated, so the old ones have been turned. Courtney, Courtney, on 13, 1060, your mum found it. Good morning, guys, how are you? Oh, Courtney, we're very serious broadcasters this morning. Good, what a day. What a day. It's your story. So back when I was living in New Zealand and I came home to visit, I was packing to go back there.

And mum was deciding to help me pack my suitcases. And God forbid, it was in my suitcase. And let's just say the noisy toy was vibrating. Oh, turned its telephone. And I had to just tell her that it was just my second mobile phone going off and not to worry about it. My work phone. Courtney would rather her mum think she's a drug dealer. The second time.

Honestly, it's a better lie right now. Great. And Lauren, Laura, you found me when you were fairly young. I did. I did. I need a preference just by saying I'm so sorry, Mom, for sharing this on radio. Do you want us to change your name, Lauren? Yeah.

What's your mom? No. So sorry, Tracy. Look, Mom had some friends over, and I just thought being a really great kid that I was, that I would give her a bit of a massage. You know, I found a moisturiser and all that. Went into a bedside drawer. Found a fun piece of equipment, let's say.

Took it out and she's sitting down, all her friends using it. Found out it's got buttons and from that vibrated. So, yeah, what a fun evening. You're thinking, oh, what a good. I'm going to get so many brownie points. I'll give my mom a massage in front of all her, maids. This must be a new massage toy. Just slapping mum.

I'm on the back with it. This must be a new toy. Massage thing. Does that feel good, Mum? Hey, Lauren, do you remember it being green? Do you know what? Definitely wasn't green. I'm so sorry.

No, no, that's okay. We can't find anyone who has chosen the Kermit delight. If you've got, if you've got Kermot's little helper, text us. Hey, Kermit, I'm not a little about Kermit. Let's make it out of time. Jess and Ducko in the morning. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alfa Bucks on hit. Let's make it right.

It might be doing that just yet. Let's make it rain cash. 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. I have to take your first answer. Can not use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the questions, say pass. We'll come back, of course, if there's time. We are playing for 10K.

We've had horrible players last week in a bit. Our player today, though, I think this is the chosen one. Now, at 6.30, I think my chosen one radar was off. Yeah, but I think this is mine. I thought Ren was the chosen one. I'm giving it to this one. Linda, hello. Gee, the pressure.

Oh, yeah. No, the chosen one doesn't feel pressure, Linda, because the universe has destined you to take away the $10,000. That must feel pretty comforting. Oh, that would be lovely. Wouldn't it? What do you want to spend the money on? I'd love to go to Italy and eat all the pizza and pasta.

Oh, yeah. I see she is the chosen one. Oh, yeah. This is your chosen one, actually. Yeah, yeah. My chosen one wouldn't be eating that much carbs. That's right. Your chosen one would be bloated.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all right, Linda, Linda is the chosen one. Come on, Linda. A more noble reason to spend 10 grand, I've never heard. No. The letter that stands between you and booking your flights to the Motherland. What's she got? She's got double you.

Ooh. Linda, I know the back end of the alphabet can frighten to you people. It can be tricky, you know. But not the chosen one. Chosen one takes it in her stride and gets it done. Are you ready? Okay. All right.

Your time will start after the first. Question. Starting with the letter W, Linda, we need you to name a cooking utensil. A five-letter word. Words. A school subject. Pass. A tool.

A wrench. A rom-com. A wedding singer. An accessory. Watch. A band. Pass. A biscuit.

Weight watchers. An adjective? Um, walking. A shoe brand. Sorry, he wasn't chosen one. Ah, but she's had some creative answers. She did have creative answers. You had some great, look, I had six question mark five.

There was a few, but I like some of the answers. So, okay, let's go through it. School subject could have been woodwork. Oh, yeah, that's it. That's tough. You always been a lot of times I've done that subject. Yeah, yeah, I was never very good at it too. A rom-com wedding singer, I gave it.

We've got here, the wedding singer. So when Harry met Sally, probably we were looking for, so that would have been a tight one. A band could have been a Wolfmother, a biscuit could have been a humble wagon or heel. And a shoe brand could have been Windsor Smith, of course, or Wittner. Just when I wear every day. Exactly, you and Babs.

Hey, Linda, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You don't get the money. You're not going to Italy. But you do get it. A custom phone case, thanks to Casify. Oh, thanks. You know what you can do?

Put a little picture of the Coliseum on your phone case. There you go, a little juice bit of the Coliseum. It's like you there every day. Oh, good. Thank you, Linda. Thank you. We do play again. Didn't feel good, Ducko?

No, it did not. We play again tomorrow, though. 630 and 8 for 10K. Come on. Come on. Shy guy's been incubating this money for months. Yeah, Big Mother Hen. Big Mother Hen energy.

Up next, though. Babs came in. yesterday in Babbs's blog and just told us something about herself, which we knew a little bit of but not really. Totally. We certainly didn't know the name for it. She was bitching about her housemates and we were able to diagnose something she's been dealing with. She's not

the only one. There's a lot of rice cookers supporting Babs in our DMs with misophonia. We'll get to what that means and get your calls around that after, what's this? This is the new one from Beba from his new album, Swag. This isn't Daisy. No, it's called Speed Demon.

It's a bit of fun. New bebes on here. Jess and Ducco. We're talking noises. And what noise do you hate? That's right. Yesterday we learnt something about Bab. It's always nice to learn something about Babs.

Because similar to shy guys, you can be a bit of a closed book. But every Tuesday we get the blog. And she used the opportunity yesterday to vent about her housemates. What were you saying aggravates you that they do? So, well, she probably shouldn't say her name. You can change it. Quick, quick, change your name. Ducey. Larissa, who I live with.

Ducey. Ducey, my friend, Ducey. You've said it now. Well, Ducey was sick over the weekend, so I went and stayed with my parents for two days. Yep. Because the sound of Ducey's cough was making me really aggravated and angry for no reason. More than just you're scared of getting sick yourself. It genuinely was angering.

It actually was sending anger for me. Like, I was like, I'm getting angry at him. hearing the Ducey's cop. And you also went on to say all bodily functions. Yeah. Sneezing. Yeah. So hiccups.

Hicrupping makes me want to vomit myself and it freaks me out. I don't know why. Pobmit myself. But also chewing, the sound of people chewing, disgust me. My wife has that. And you can be chewing so softly and it's like, stop doing that. And you're like, oh, how is going to choose?

You're having a Dorito. Oh, the crunch. Well, so much show now that, like, my partner will put music on when we eat because he knows that it will send me. Yeah, that is crazy. Or he would look at me if he's eating too loud to see if I'm noticing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I notice.

I'm like, oh, yep, I can hear you. But you were diagnosed by a rice cooker. Yes. Yes. A word we'd never seen. Missophonia, apparently that is a thing where the sound of could be anything. Yeah. Angers you frustrates.

You have a visceral reaction to it. Yes. So we wanted to do on 131060. What's your version of this? What's your misophonia, ducco for you? What sound do you hate? What sound do you hate? You hate.

Really loud motorbikes. When they, when they add a lot and then they drive and the engine just, like, it just gives you a fright. God forbid, you are stopped and red and a Harley pulls up next to your and they're just up. Harleys aren't so bad. It's like the other ones that just. Sorry, I take that back on. It was a Yamaha.

The Yamaha, my God. Put a muffler on that. It's where they obnoxiously rev on like a loud street going past. It's like, it's meant to be a quiet street and they just go for it. You can't eat anything else for that. Everyone gets a fright. Yes. It just annoys me.

For me, it's almost the opposite. It's when my husband speaks too softly. The sound of not being able to understand. And it's not just him. He's obviously the person I talk to the most. I get that. You and him. Articulate.

And they go, what? And you're like, ah. How many times will you do a pardon? One more time? I'm at a two now and I just go, yeah. I just laugh or just give a nonchalant shrug. Nothing aggravated. makes me more than too soft.

Yeah, too soft is frustrating. But 13, 1060, we want to join Babs' camp. Rachel. What's the noise you hate? Rachel, what noise do you hate? Oh, do you know how they breathe? Like, people breathe and the nose makes a whistle sound? Isn't that just like over 75-year-old men?

Oh, it's not even. I had an ex that used to do it and it used to just infuriate me. Is that why he's an ex now, Rachel? Oh, no. But yeah. We'll put that on the list. What's that doing for you, Rach? It's actually annoying.

Yes. I regret calling. Brilliant, Rachel. But that's exactly. Very specific, isn't it? Yeah. 131060. What's your misophonia?

What's the noise or the sound? You can't stand it. You hate. It fires you up like Babs. That's right. And doocy. Yeah, dozy. Doocy check yourself.

Hey, Babs is a Sabrina Cup. Here's a noise you hate. Cheers. What noise do you hate? That's right. We learnt yesterday. There's a name for this, misophonia. It's having like a visceral reaction, bordering on anger, aggravation to certain sounds, certain noises.

Babs admitted that her housemate, Doocy, who has been ill recently, the sound of her coughing, sent Babbs to go move back in with her parents for a bit. Hickups make her angry. Sneezing makes her noise. Bizarre. It's crazy. has called through. Good morning, Rob. Hey, legends, how are we? Good, Rob.

Fantastic. What's a noise you hate? Well, my mother-in-law lives in an assistant living place, and there's an old bloke that lives in there with her. And I've got a weak stomach, and every time he hawks a googlyly. Oh, my God. Oh, that's a great one. Hock's a googly.

That makes me want to do. Oh, 100%. That is disgusting. I think the end of the hook. Yeah, yeah. When you're really bringing one up like that. And particularly when you get to a certain age, Ducker, and you do not care about social niceties anymore.

And you would just be letting rip. Oh, he doesn't care. He's letting rip. He doesn't care that Helen Sun's come to visit. He's hock and Googling. How you doing sport? Casey on 131060. What noise do you hate?

Casey? I might be Cassie. Sorry, Cassie, sorry. It's definitely Cassie, but that's okay. That's my bad. I just read that bad. Sorry, Casey. I'm very lucky.

My sound is a seasonal sound. It comes in summer and it's bare feet on tiles. It's the, your flippers, slip, slapping on the tile. Now, that is very specific. I can't even hear it in my mind. It's just the slap, slap of bare feet. So floorboards are okay, carpet's obviously silent, specifically tiles. Specifically tiles.

My partner has quite flat feet as well. So it's literally like They're slapping all over the joints And is it specifically like a Havana Like that kind of Is it a bare foot Does this for you? Yeah barefoot

It's okay It's like slippers, socks Flipflops All of that is fine Is that funny because I thought you said flip flops I thought you said flip flops No she's saying the flippers

He must be stomping Yeah I mean he's He's six six and 150 kilos So he's got a fair bit to hit the floor Fair. Cassie's going to the carpet chopping. Like, can you carpet my bathroom and kitchen?

I've got to go eliminate all tiles from my house. Nicole, on 13, 1060. The sound you hate is from a specific ad, it says. It's Frank Walker from Maxwell. We could I guess that I'll reckon. Hello. Hello. And I imagine when you talk about that, Nicole,

the first thing people do is hit you with the hello. They do. I hate it. And my co-workers know it, and my partner knows it, and my son. And I will turn it down on the radio, and they go, Frank Walker. You have to, I mean, you have to admit, though, the marketing's cut through. It's unbelievable. That ad has been around for decades.

Long time. And why would he change it? Everyone knows that's Frank Walker. That's Frankie Walker. From National Tales. Sorry, Nicole. She's never calling him. Ashley, on 131060, what noise do you hate?

I hate the repetitive rattle noises. Sorry, the what? Like, if you've got, like, a rattle noise, it continuously goes. Do you mean, like, a child's rattle? Rattled. What's rattling? No, like, okay, for instance, my car stereo, it starts rattling when it wants to. Oh, I see.

Oh, like, something's loose. Yeah. Yeah, like, just a repetitive rattle. I find myself getting so angry while it's driving. I'm trying to, like, bang it and stop it from rattling. Yeah. Because you just don't know where it's coming from. Yes.

Yeah. And I bet you're kicking it and smacking it is making it better. It's not making it looser. When you meant baby rattled too, just like a baby with a rattle? Ashley's just saying like, what are you? I'm surprised a lot more parents haven't called, saying something about a kid's crying baby, kids screaming. Learning the recorder.

That's got to be it. The recorder? Don't you dare put the recorder into disrepute. And lastly, here we go to Daniela on 131060. Daniela, what have you got for us? Nails on a chumball. Oh, that's a bad one, isn't it? Oh, Danny.

That's the quintessential, isn't it? That's the OG. That's the OG. Yeah. How many people, hang on, Daniela, how old are you? I'm 12. Do you still have chalkboards at school? I thought it was all electronic, bloody, eye stuff these days.

Daniela. I want to know about your school, Daniela. Have you seen any chalkboard? No, we don't have to talk. Yeah. I'm glad you don't have to deal with this very much. Good chat, though, you and Daniela? You should sound.

I reckon Daniela's mum or dad wants to win the co-fold. Jess and Ducco. Now, well, I was going to say great friend of the show, colleague as well for us. Absolutely. And relatively new to the Jess and Ducco family. Yep. First time that I think we're getting together at this time slot at least.

It's the wonderful Hope. Good morning. Good morning, guys. Thanks for having me. Hey, it's great to have you in studio, Hope. Now, you've been a big fan of the Jess and Ducco show for a while and you do great work as well. Thank you.

I'm like mega fan level. Like you guys are my Beyonce. Seriously, you are. Stop it. Stop it. Duck, I just revel in that for a second because no one on the history, on the face of the planet will ever say that again. No, I don't think so. Or ever feel that.

No, I hope you're welcome back anytime. End. Thanks, guys. But you have been working very hard behind the scenes with shy guy, actually, to create something a little fun for us this morning. I have. And I honestly, look, you guys have an incredible. show. And I feel as though this is something that is just

going to peak it, guys. I don't think you've had anything this incredible before. Okay. All right. So you've got a game for us? I do. I do. Look, the past couple of weeks, you guys have had some pretty cool games. Lord, oh, Lord. Not all of being cool. Have you known to love it? We've been baited testing.

Google it. There's been a couple bad ones in there. Oh, God. Well, I'm scared that you might add this one to the list. Hey, that's okay. Unfortunately. Shoot your shot. Do you know what? Today we're playing Shearin or Shear? Oh, I've got an open to hell on. Hey, this is Ed Shearing.

I love it when you do it like that and when you're closer, I mean, don't pick you're gone. Shearer or Shearer? Excellent. So we've got to guess if it's an Ed Sheareran lyric or if it's from a Shearer? No, so I'm going to read you names of people and you've got to figure out, are they either a part of Ed Shearan's family and friends? Oh, collect. I was trying to draw them. Yeah, yeah.

You can tell a shy guy helped on this. Well, the longest bow ever. I'm like, she hasn't brought in a pair of shears. So it's not like she can shear us a tune. No. Is it a sheer in connection? Yes. Or someone in the well-famous shearers, really.

This is what I said. I'm big in the shearer community, so I might nail this one. Big ag guy. Huge ag guy. You thought the Jess and Ducko showed already reached a peak and then we brought this in. I don't mind this. This is the missing piece. Exactly.

All right. What are you got for us? First name number one. Very first name. Johnny McDade. Is he... Johnny McDade. An Ed Shearan relative, family friend, or is he a sheep shearer?

That is the most sheep shearerness name I've ever heard. Johnny McDade feels Shearer. It does feel sheep shearer. He's won an award for it. He's a close friend of Ed Sheareran. Oh, no. He actually co-wrote a lot of his songs. Really?

Yeah. Well, he's got no credit anywhere. I've never heard that. It's funny. I think Doddy was in behind the scenes. Yeah. Geez, now this is going to be hard than I've thought. Maybe we have to go opposite of our instincts.

Hit us again, home. Exactly. Okay, next one. Godfrey Bowen. Ooh. See, that sounds like a songwriter to me. No, I'm going to say sheep shira. I suppose we can separate ways.

We can go separate. We don't have to go together. You know what I mean? Here am I trying to align with you, my friend. Godfrey to me. He is someone in Sheeran's world. I'm going to go Shearer. He is a legendary shearer who set a world record.

Get this. Shearing. 556 sheep in nine hours in 1953. What a legend. She's gone in the back hat. That was before Guinness was even a thing. You could tell Shah guys really helped you this game.

Exactly. Here's a record from 1953. He's also got his own technique named after him in the engine. The Godfrey. The Bowen technique. The Bowen technique. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout to everyone who does the Bowen technique as well.

I don't know why you're bothering with any other technique. Okay, this one, this one, I feel as a double points for this next question. Okay, I can, because it's a double whammy. Murray and Billy Cummings Oh geez Now see that feels They're shearers

They are They're duo You know Murray's the older one He thought I'm going to go on this on my own And Billy went I'm going to join you Are they a family Are they a brother-sister duo

That have helped Ed to create music All right we're going to go opposite ways again Hope Ducko's looking in relatives I'm going to look in shearers They are two cousins Of Ed Shearin from West Cork Island Ah yes

And to be fair Talk about family business One of them was involved in documenting his Ed's creative process. Murray directed the documentary and Billy was a cameraman for it. Jeez, it's a creative family. He really said ringing the fan. We need to get off the ground here, hope. Okay, next one.

We're almost through this incredible game. I don't want it to end. I never wanted to end. I'm loving this. You could do this with so many celebrities too and so many stars. You're really cool. Yeah, yeah. Shira or Shira. Okay, Beyonce or Beekeepers.

There you go. Write that down, should I go? Drake or. Drunks. Hope right all these down. She's got once a week, hope we're going to need these. To be fair, we were going to do Hope or Pope. Yeah. That was one, that was one on the drawing.

Hope or Pope would have slashed. I agree. Would it have been things you have said? That was probably could have found nothing to say. That hope had said that were biblical. You could have just made it up. You could have just made up that you said it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never heard everything you've ever said ever. See, that was the issue. It was a bit tricky to pull on a couple of lines there. Sure. So, yeah. But no, this is fantastic. Keep going. Okay. Gordon Burns.

Oh, Shear up I'm going to go family friend Ed's second cousin Oh, there you go Okay, okay Here we go I don't know where shy guy found A lot of these

I don't know if you went on Ancestry.com Yeah, Ancestry.com, Wikipedia They're probably none of these are factual Do you know what? I'm also directly, loosely linked to Ed Sheeran's Exactly Yeah, you are, that's right? You've just ruined the next questions

Jessica Farchioti. Oh my gosh. Okay, number five, Toa Henderson Toa. Toa. Toa. What an interesting name. T-O-A. Toa Henderson.

I'm going to say Shearer. Just feels like someone who knows the land, you know? Toa. I'm going to say, yeah, I feel like I'm going to say Shira as well. I'm glad you went there, guys. Because not only is he a shearer, winner of the prestigious golden shears, guys. Yes.

Of this year's winner. Of this year's winner. Pretty much the Lynn Magranger of Sheen Shire. I hope these Shias are Australian. Yeah, where's Toa from? is just a golden cheer champion from... Don't ask too many follow-ups. To be fair, he beat out several previous champions.

So it's kind of the underdog. There's always an up and come up. If you see a bit of a documentary in the next few years about it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's from New Zealand. There you go. We should have guessed that. Well, there you go.

Okay, number six, this is the second last one. I love it. Probably one of the better ones. Yeah. Jackie Howe. Oh, it's got to be in Ireland. Do you reckon? Jackie Howe.

Oh, am I being sexist? And I've just assumed a woman wouldn't be a Shearer. I'm going to say Shearer. I'm going to say relative or friend. Legendary Shearer again. I apologize. Jackie Howe. Now, he's an Aussie.

He was actually like the most famous Shearer of all time. Oh, Jackie is a man. Yes. In the 1800s, yes. And he even has his own statue in black or rural Queensland. There you go. Okay. That's why I know.

Queensland is, mate. Of course. You know how it is. You know it. All right, last one. Very last one. I feel as though you're going to know this one. Yeah.

Cherry Seabor. At this wife. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. The mother of Lyra. Really? Yep. Lira?

Yep. For somebody who knows a lot about Ed's Sharon, you didn't slay the game, did you? I did not going to get the wife wrong, though. Lyra Antarctica. Oh. There you go. But you know what's great, though. I love this story.

They were childhood friends, went to school together. Now, that I actually didn't know. Yeah, I reconnected later in life. There you go. Well, that is Sheeran or Shearer. I know. Well, done. That wasn't the peak of your crees.

No. I feel like you... Hey, what's been better, Ducco? Certainly not just Google it. Yes and Ducco. Welcome to a glorious, well, I mean, not so glorious for some, on Thursday. But it could be glorious right now if you win that call of fame because we have a humdinger of a prize. You and I'd stay at the QT in Newcastle.

Plus $100 cash. QT hotels. Emers yourself in otherworldly luxury where new age, possibility. Delights. And this is the thing, Ducko. We have had exceptional contributions today. Oh, yeah. It's been a tough one to pick.

It's been a really good show today. I really enjoyed everyone sharing their misophonia. Yep. Sounds that aggravate and agitate them. Yeah. But earlier in the program, we did talk about where'd you find an adult toy. Yeah. You brought us a story about adult toys being thrown at athletes.

Can't really do much about it. You're just got to have to politely ask the fans to stop the road dildos. Politely ask the fans. Don't yell at them because they're not going to be. It's going to go harder. Stop throwing that door, though. Thank you to all those contributions. But I think for me,

Lisa, who said as she was driving past the nursing home, there on Bind Day, was a nice big one. Was Betty's big one? It was Betty's big one. I think we say valet a Betty's partner. Yeah, right. Obviously had passed that Betty had to look after herself. We got some great text on the text on which we will read out in the podcast

for more of those findings and sightings. And appreciate the contributions, but just want to make it clear. You don't win the call of fame when you're text. You've got to be like these wonderful people, like Lisa, and pick up the phone. And don't forget, earlier in the show, we were talking about Piano, with the sites that were locked, and now you're going to have to use your face ID and ID to get in moving forward from next year. Yes, average verification. I had a great name for a site that Jess, in my imagination visits.

Couldn't say it on air. I got turned down. Shyline Babs were actually saying you might be able to. I settle off there. And then Babs were saying, no, no, no, no. I'll say it in the podcast. Fantastic. Come to the potty.

Fantastic. Hang out with us in the potty. You'll see it there. I think my codes are up for a renewal, so I'm just a bit hazy. Yeah, just. But let's keep it safe. I know. He's the codes guy.

Yeah, you're the big codes guy. It would have been alright, I think. I think it could have been too. I think is not good enough. When Barbara was saying no. Do it. Yeah, you're the one going to get fired. It'd be him.

Hey, I go. I go, you go, man. I go, we all go. That's absolutely correct. If I get fired, we all get fired. Yeah, we all go. See? I'm not going down solo.

We'll have that orchestra going. The little quartet. The hull of the Titanic as we all sing. We'll sing together. But yes, a lot to dissect in the podcast. Yeah, podcast will be fun. So check it out, listen, I'll wherever get your podcast. We're back tomorrow for a Thursday show.

Bringing back one second song game. Absolutely. I didn't have the pleasure of playing last time. So I'm looking forward to it. Can't imagine I'll be good. I shall play host. You three shall play contender. I know you do the buttons.

I feel like you would be a. better contestant. Like, you'd be good at the game. Yeah, probably, probably a little bit better than you. In saying that, I'll have an array of songs. I'm not just going to go new. There's some J-Lo in there. Okay.

West Life? Oh, it was a West Life? Yeah. Give me a leg up, buddy. What was the ones you guys didn't get from last week? The one that you didn't know, Babs dear and vice versa. There was like, I can't remember. It was like some bands.

Oh, okay. She's just the queen of music. It's hard to take her on. Yeah. Who won, though? I think Shagay did win. I won. I might take it back.

King of music over here. And hey, don't think... Oh, here she comes. We got to try our hand a grid eye yesterday. The video now is live. Jess and Ducco on Instagram story. If nothing else, go check out Shy Guy's pins. A lot of chicken emojis getting sent around and that.

Hoorah! It's a great video. Check it out. We're out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. Bye-bye. And you can't really do much about it. You're just got to have to politely ask the fans to stop throwing dildos. Jess and Ducco! That was the Jess and Ducco podcast. Take a trip to McDonald's Land.

today and try the new McDonald's Land Meal with one of six collectible souvenirs.