Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - FULL SHOW | You fat lard

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Duckos mad at Tinder new search filter, Jess asks Angus a question she didn't want the answer to and we asked what do you do in crocs?Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range, now touring for a limited time. Jess and Daco! This is the Jess and Daco podcast. Welcome everybody to the podcast. Daco, talked about crocs today. Yes. And we asked, what do you do in your crocs or what have you spotted someone doing in the crocs, your mate admitted to going to a christening.

Yep. I saw someone going for a run. We've just had a bride. Yeah, that's weird. Send through, but it won't let me screenshot her message. Oh no. You know how- So you want to hold it down?

Yeah. You know how the iPhone now does that, or is it an Instagram block? Oh, they don't. Must be an Instagram block. I've never seen that. You can't screenshot or record this. It's only meant to be replayed once. Let me go back to Monique.

So when you do the screenshot, it overlays it with a thing that says you can't do correct I wonder if it notifies her that you've been trying to screenshot. Oh good question I'll ask right now because I caught a glimpse of it and she's genuinely the most aesthetic looks like a cliffside photo shoot wedding dress white crocs Yeah, people are obsessed with them. That is unbelievable. You know, I'm a married celebrant. If a bride walked down in Crocs, I think I'd go, I'm done. I'm done.

I refuse to do this anymore. 100%. You have to. Oh my God. But yeah, people love their Crockies. People do love Crocs. Wow. They're very passionate about them. I've had a, someone just messaged me a friend saying,

bro, I'm going to buy you a pair. What shoe size are you? Trust me, they're comfortable. I wear them with a sock around the house. Refresh me again. Were you anti-Burks till you tried them and realised they were comfy or were you? I was, I was. I have to admit that I was.

It's annoying. I knew you could be converted. Please don't. It's the one thing we've identified, the four of us, Shy Guy Babs, you and I, we have in common. Yeah, we don't have much in common. This is the only thread keeping us together. If you go to the dark side, what keeps us bonded?

I know. If I roll to work one day in Crocs, would you guys look at me the same? I don't really see your feet. Uh, okay. I'd probably laugh. I don't think I'd notice. Babs would give you the Nelson Muntz. Ha ha.

Yee hee. And then Jess would come up behind you and do the, what's the mum or the dad or something? Oh, I'm going to hit you with a fucking knee niche. No, you're in the Simpsons movie. You know how Butts skateboards. Nelson's dad does it. Yeah, cause I haven't seen The Simpsons. That was a niche. I mean, to quote The Simpsons movie.

I mean, it's one of the longest running series of all time, but the movie is probably niche. Was the movie that good though? I don't think the Simpsons movie was that good. I think at the time it was good. It's not very more... You didn't like Spider Pig. Spider Pig was funny. What about the Boob Lady? I can't remember it to be fair. I can't remember it that well. Did you just watch it?

No, I used to watch it like once a week. Wow! I used to love it. I used to just sit there and piss myself off. I mean, to be fair, again, they predicted the dome, you know? They did predict the dome. Didn't Vegas just make a dome? Like from the Simpsons movie. Anyway, to other more important business. We have had no support for Home Alone 3.

I might have been the only person to ever watch it. I have seen it with other little kid, but I didn't like it. Couldn't tell you a thing about it. See, I thought the villains were good in Home Alone 3. I thought it had legs. Of course it did. It did not. Oh, no one can beat McCauley.

He's king. But we've had five Arborists message. Bullshit. On Jess and Ducker. Why wouldn't they just message me directly? Oh, cause I had someone message me directly, which I'm more inclined to go to. Oh, okay, sure.

And you know what? A lot of people do double up. Sometimes people message me, I respond, and then I see the exact same message copied and pasted to Jess and Ducat. Oh yeah, I get it. And I like throw in an emoji to give it the sense, is this someone else replying? But it's just me again. Yeah, because I'm pretty sure I had one message me, but they were just, yep, they're on branch

management is their name. We've got someone, R&B Trees. Hey, that's a bit of fun. That feels very hit friendly. That does sound fun. R&B. You should sponsor Friday. She's given you a mobile number here, Ducco. We've got Evergreen Tree Professionals.

Give Chris a message or a number for a free quote, babe. Free quote? Not saying free service, but free quote. No, I mean, I'm not expecting them to do the service for free. I want to preface that one. I was going to pay anyway. Well, you've got a couple of options here. Okay, well I can put them all against each other, hey? Love that idea. Negotiation. That's what it's all about.

How much does lopping a tree set you back? So the quote we initially got for one for this, our Jacaranda tree, you've seen it. It's not a huge job, but you need to cut back a few branches on our side and their side. And the question is, is it full tree removal? Just pruning. Just pruning back. 800.

I don't know. Is that good? I don't know. So I was like, I said, I was like, that feels expensive. Morgan's like, that feels cheap. And I was like, okay. Is that a per hour thing? Like they came and looked and went, oh, we'll need to be up in the cherry picker for an hour.

Possibly. 800. It's not a huge job. I don't know. I really don't know. I have no idea. I couldn't tell you the first thing about tree cutting. The issue is that you've got to go onto your neighbour's property. You're on a major road. It's a big road. So where are they? Fuck, I hate living on that road. Do they have to stop traffic? No, no, because they could just come in and do it. I wouldn't have thought so.

I guess if they can park in your neighbour's driveway, the cherry picker sort of spins around. But the issue is the branch is dropping down. They might deem it a hazard and go, this could get onto the road. They didn't say that when they quoted us, but my neighbor parks his car under there and it's like sometimes it's windy and rainy and his car's under these like howling branches. I'm like, let alone the bird droppings, bat droppings. I know.

Sap, I had sap on my car the other day. Really? I had to genuinely peel it off. I couldn't wash it off. Sap is gross, hey. So gross. I thought it was just a bird that had diarrhea. That's the equivalent of your car getting gizzed on. That's the equivalent of someone just going and gizzing on your car.

It's nature's jizz. Tree, it had a great time. Yeah, the trees. Yeah, you know sap is the tree's way of feeling good and sort of releasing. What? I was going to say, Babs, drink the Kool-Aid much? Hey, I'm just going along with it. I don't know if she even bought it. She just went like, Sure thing, Darko. What was that thing you said on air the other day? Whatever makes Darko happy. I was like, oh fuck me.

Am I that hard, am I? To quote Babs, does it really matter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't work under these conditions. I can't eat cheese. Okay. You've been copying it a bit lately from the team actually. More than anyone else in the team, I think. I know Shy Guy, do you go, yes, deflect? Nothing on me anymore.

It's insane that I had a fair bit of short gear today. So, you know. But you brought that to the table. You opened the door. You open the door though, it doesn't hurt as much. It's like me asking one of my worst traders, when you open the door, everyone run't hurt as much. It's like me asking what my worst trait is when you open the door everyone run through while you can. Yeah. But you're gonna ask your wife tonight. Yeah but I'm not gonna ask you because now you've had time to think about it. Yeah I know. Still ask me.

You've clearly got something. So what are you aiming up at? Okay this is good. Let's see what you say now and then I can ask Morgan and let's see if they're the. Cause I've already got your response. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Worst. I've got to narrow it down. You really do have to think about it to go, what can I say? Because again, the door is open.

Who knows when the door will be open again. I think I know. Well, I do. No, I mean, I do know mine. Oh, self reflecting King. Would you like to share yours? No, no, I'm not going until, yeah, yeah. See, it's fucking not fun.

Now imagine this live on air. I know, see we have the luxury here, the emergency cold play's not gonna keep you while I'm thinking. No, we're in a podcast. All that's gonna happen is our guest is gonna arrive. They're here. Oh, are they? They're downstairs.

I said, we're recording a podcast, who knows how long that'll take. We'll be there soon. I'll get the opener up for this stuff, see what we do with them. Yeah do that. Is it, what's your... I mean, you've busted your hearing having your headphones too loud so now everything's really loud and you don't know. Oh.

What? Like the beds and stuff. Oh, I see what you're doing. And I feel rude going like this to you. Oh, you think the beds are too loud? Yeah, sometimes. Why don't you just say that? Because I don't want you to be upset that you're deaf. I thought this was a Jace joke.

Oh no. Sometimes they are loud. No, I don't think so. If they are too loud, just let me know, I can bring them down. What would be the least condescending way to tell Pat? Yeah, down, down, down. Or do I do like volume down? I've got my headphones turned down more now.

I know. So like I don't notice it as much. I know. Let me get a better. You've been in radio longer than I have and I think your ears are suffering. Okay, so that's loud, that's too loud. Yep. I would normally have it about here.

I know, that's fine. See, Shaka's just as deaf as me. Yeah, see, I think this is a bit loud. Really? I think it's a normal volume. Oh, isn't that funny? So then here? Like the Alphabucks player today, granted his phone was shit.

Yeah. I was struggling to hear him. Oh, I had him full and I had that bed down lower. Full, I mean, as of time it's the phone. I was struggling to hear him. Oh, I had him full. And I had that bed down lower. Sometimes it's the phone. But is that funny? I should do a hearing test. Do I have super sensitive hearing?

Yeah, because I would normally- You thought we'd think it's fine, but you should have the cleanest ears of us all. I would normally put beds to here, but this bed is louder than others. Like, for example, if I was to get, let's get. I would probably sit this one about here. I would say like to start loud. Yeah, then it comes

down. Yeah, so you bring it in. Oh, we're in Germany. Good to be here. Yeah. I think like, I feel like this is too low. Too low. Oh, see? That may as well not be there. Yeah. Oh, no, I can hear that fine. And it's ambiance. Hearing two competing things I'm like what am I focusing on? Well anyway. What about there? So that's Ducko's worst trait. Here he is. I feel like I got a frisk up free there. Oh Babs had some fucking ammo. All right sweetie, roll it out. Go for it. it out. Go for it. No, we can wait till tomorrow. Welcome to it. Welcome to Wednesday.

Hello. How are we all today? Feeling good. A little congested, but other than that. They're congested up, oh. Top of the world. Head coldy. They're a bit head coldy.

The kid got it or I got it, and we just keep giving a back to one another. You and her. Oh my God. Just swapping diseases. As long as we protect Angus Harper. The kid got it or I got it and we just keep giving a back to one another. You and her. Oh my god. Just swapping diseases. As long as we protect Angus Harper. He's not getting anything.

He's all right. All he is is, I don't know, undoing his back surgeries, having to sleep on the floor of their room. Yeah, fair enough. But no, so we just keep swapping like, how do you get out of the vortex of illness when you just keep giving it to each other? I don't know. It's weird.

You gotta stop doing the mother's kiss. Oh, don't, don't. You know how that sets me off. Funny you bring that up though, because Angus did pull out the snotty boss. Did you get gifted one of those or have you heard of this? No. It's literally looks like a tiny little vacuum with a small nozzle and it's there to stick up the schnoz and suck stuff out

of your little one's nose who doesn't know how to blow yet. God that would feel good though. Could you do it to an adult? She hates it. I imagine. It's a very thin nozzle but I can't see why the premise wouldn't work. It is a gentle suction. You might need a bit more on one of our adults. I'll do the Bushman's blow anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can't have that stuff in

me. You should do a little flush. I tell everyone, hey a sinus flush in this time of year. I bought that thing you told me. The dimester. Yeah. Is that that? Oh the spray. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I meant like the actual like the douche. Oh. Fair the douche. Little sinus douche. You know I was a fan of the neti pot for a long time. That little teapot thing. Yeah, but it has no force behind it. You need the force. Maybe I need the douche. I do it like every couple of weeks just for maintenance, you know what I mean? Was that recommended from the ENT? Yeah, he said everyone should do it. Oh really? Particularly in the change of seasons, just a little reset. You know last week was my first sort of punch in the face with hay fever. Yeah. Maybe I've got some lingering things. Yeah. Hey, we need to get the team hay fever tablets at Babs' desk.

Do we get a team douche? Because if we can all chip in, I mean, I know they're not that expensive, but I'd love to divide by four. Oh, can we just borrow yours? That'd be fun. Oh, a little team douche. I know you and Tyga like to swap bedroom, you know? And Babs.

Yeah, but we're all in on that stuff. She's actually still got our stuff. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Maybe a team douche. I'm not giving her the douche until she gives back the whips and chains. All right. What about me?

I gave you a blueberry muffin yesterday. Can I have a douche? You can have the douche. What have you done for me lately? Douche me. Such a good word, douche. Hey, and I don't know how to do it. So can you do it for me?

Of course. Absolutely. Good friend. I'd douche you if you ever needed. I know you would. You know I would. I'd you do it for me? Of course. Absolutely. Good friend. I'd douche you if you ever needed. I know you would. You know I would. I'd always be there for you brother.

Douche party. What a fun word, isn't it? It's just, it never gets old. I'm going to need the etymology of the word douche. Yeah. Who invented that? The insult douche bag? Please tell me there's a Monsieur Douche who invented it and named it after himself.

Cause this is probably, is it for the thing that ladies use as well? Like is that, there's a, you can at a female douche, can't you? I don't think you're meant to do anything in the front there. Sometimes I thought you could. I thought douche was for the backside. Oh, is it for the backside? What's Morgan doing?

You've got to be very, very careful front bum, but back bum. I thought, I only know the sinus one. I only know really douches is from Sausage Party. The villain. I thought that was bum. But now- It could be.

I might be wrong. I'm not sure. I don't know actually. She's Italian for shower. You should know that. I absolutely should. So you're telling me it was Signore Douche. Signore Douche, yeah.

Douche to me. That was actually the old Pope's name. La Douche. Beforeche to me. That was actually the old Pope's name. La Douche. Before he took on Leo. And hang on. If it's Italian, I thought shower was dacha. Now I'm confused.

My Gio Lingo is leading me astray. Oh no. Douche. Douche feels French to me. It does feel French. I don't trust you Googling. It does feel French. Yeah, there's the she

need feminine juche. Really? I mean, well, flushing out body cavity of water. Oh, so not necessarily back bum. Not exclusive to the back bum. It could be the front bum. Douche usually refers to vaginal... cleansing. Irrigation. Oh, the word I have is cleansing on my search. So yeah. It is the front. Yeah. How's that? I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, the word I have is cleansing on my search. So yeah. It is the front. Yeah. How's that? I didn't know that. Yeah.

Oh, doctors recommend that you do not do. Thank you. Okay. I'm glad. I thought you weren't meant to muck around down there because those products, wow. How have we gotten here? Babs, you can weigh in any time by the way. I don't know if you've seen those.

Babs certainly would have in the feminine hygiene aisle. There are some products that advertise, oh, keep your front bum fresh, ladies. Not recommended. Yeah, not recommended. I don't want to get any brands offside, but doctors, GPs, gyno's, they're like, do not muck around down there. Yeah. Your pH.

Your pH levels. All that, you can really do some silliness if you're adding in these products that are just marketing. Okay. You are fresh ladies. You are fresh. Be fresh. Be fresh. There's that, there's that fem fresh stuff you can get for the shower.

That's what I'm talking about. No good. Oh really? Yes. That is a synthetic product that is not necessary for the front bum. Your, your body will take care of itself. It's a self-cleaning oven. Yes. If there is a major issue, see your GP, but do not buy something off the shelf.

There we go. Because you think, oh, I need to freshen up down there. It's bad. What if you've got an odor? Then you need to see a GP. There might be a medicinal thing. Okay. Fab's not around. Fab's not taking notes. Were you here? You weren't here when I first moved in with Angus.

She's so uncomfortable. When I first moved in with Angus. She's so uncomfortable. When I first moved in with Angus, he had remnants of the ex-girlfriend in the bathroom. Femfresh was one. I went, tell her. He goes, I don't talk to her anymore. I went, tell her she shouldn't be using this product. It's bad for her.

Also, why is it still in your shower? He goes, I didn't even notice it was there. I went, it's bad. He's using it? Well why would he be? On his butt. Yeah. He's, it's bad. He took it, secretly he's using it? Well, why would he be? On his butt. Yeah. He's cleaning it out.

It's, um, what an educational, it's only 606. Yeah, there you go. We've all learned some stuff today. Douche is Italian. Douche is Italian. Le douche, yeah. Well, now I'm confused because the French invented the bidet. Yeah.

But the Italians invented the douche. Did the Japanese one invent the bidet? The word bidet, again, I just assumed was French. Who knows anymore? No, I think the Japanese supercharged the bidet. The word bidet again I just assumed was French. Who knows anymore? No, I think the Japanese supercharged the bidet. Yeah, they put it on roids. They put the sensors and the massage feature. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

The French invented the bidet. Okay, there you go. Now that is a French word through and through. All good things come from the Frenchie. Well, except the douche. Hey Big Show team, Alf Vox coming up, you know that, 10k, up for grabs, 6.30 and 8. We've got your tickets to Fridays live. You listen for that, m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- Oh no. Yeah, it's happening. If you ever get Uber Eats, apparently this has come out that it has probably happened to you.

Very common. Yeah. Okay. Very common. Jess and Ducco. Jeez, Babs has been inundated with people wanting to talk about their douche routine. What a douche calls. Babs, sorry, you didn't sign up for that today, did you when you woke up?

No, I didn't. But have you learned something? Yeah, sure. Oh, you already knew not to use femfresh. No, she's upset now because she's got stocks in femfresh. She bought from Costco. She's like, what am I to do with all that femfresh now? She's upset because she can't jump from her knees to her feet. You know, there is a sponsor of um, what's that brand Babs that we keep hearing on this show? Oh, yeah, the Fajarno Freshm- Yeah. Oh. What's that? On our show? I think it's a tablet.

It's an ad on this show, yeah. A tablet? A tablet to help produce feminine freshness or something the ads say. Oh, that's bad. You're not ingesting it. Or maybe you are. Yeah, tablet. Ooh, are you putting it in?

Is it a suppository vibe or a swallow vibe? I don't pay attention to the ad because it's not targeted to me. That's very fair, Shy Guy. Well, you should start listening. Your mum might need it. We'll find the ad. I mean, you might hear it in the next ad break. Obviously something crowbarred into your brain because you know the product. Yeah, was it the

jingle? Yeah, stick it in, stick it in. Yeah, we'll find the ad anyway, as you were. Has anyone in this team ever taken a suppository? No. No, haven't had the pleasure. I've done it a couple of times. Yeah, just for fun. Honestly, there's nothing like when you- What ailment were you trying to cure? I was constipated as all hell. Right. Like a couple of days and it was bad. And is the idea of a suppository, instead of taking something in turn, like through your mouth, it's closer to the problem?

It works faster. It goes in, but you've got to, there's like a timeframe. And I can't remember the exact time. I think it's 15 minutes. You've got to wait 15 minutes from when you put it in for when you can actually release. And within five minutes, three minutes, you want to go. And you've got to hold on because it when you put it in for when you can actually release and within five minutes three minutes You want to go and you've got a hold on because it's working. It's getting everything. I don't know what can't be good for you But it's getting everything. It's like

Dissolving yeah, it's just going up and it's just loosening it all up and mate it There's no feeling quite like taking a suppository and then having to wait 15 minutes. It sucks Can you do it to yourself or do you need assistance? Yeah, I did it to myself. Yeah. It's lubed, isn't it? You got a finger, you got lube, you got a chance. Truly, yeah. I didn't know-

No, no, you have to- Well, I had to- Didn't they come pre-lubed? Mine didn't. Oh. Pre-lubed? I'm assuming. You know who put me onto it? My mum.

And I didn't know what it was, and I went and got it, and I was like, Mum, I called her, I was like, this is a suppository, this goes up mine, and she goes, oh yeah, you just whack it up the bot bot. So you were just chatting on a Tuesday night and you happened to mention, mom, I'm so constipated. She said, honey, go get this particular product. Did not mention it needed to be inserted in your bot bot.

No, didn't tell me that until I went, above that stage I was so desperate. Did she talk you through it? She's like, pop on FaceTime, I'll talk you through it. Where's Morgan Holmgren? Loving son, show me the angle. That's a great technique you've got there. Have you done this before? All the coloxaline in the world couldn't help me.

I was... Is it the size of a tablet, like a Panadol? It's the size of like a big multivitamin. Oh, the biggie! Like a big old fish oil. But you'd be amazed, like once you just bit of something on it, just see you later. And you wait and then it goes... The scale of one to ten, how much you enjoy it?

Uh, oh 10. And then it was painful. But I thought... The evacuation. I had to lie on my side on the ground and cock a leg up and do it that way and just to get it in and then just... Yeah. Yeah. But effective.

Oh yeah. Wow. It does the job. And you don't need a prescription. No, anyone can get a suppository, man. What did you say before? You got a hole, you got a chance. You got a hole, you got a finger, a hole.

That's right. And a bit of lube, you got a chance. And a bit of lube, you got a chance. Yeah, yeah, that's the podcast title, thank you. Make sure you use a water, a water-based lubricant too. Let's be safe. As opposed to silicon or something. Give it ones that can sometimes, you know, be stingy.

Keep your cherry lube away from me, do it. It's always the ones that come in a packet of something where you get like the chocolate flavor one you're like oh this would be good oh it burns does it. You think for a do you know for chocolate for your chocolate starfish might be okay. Stop it you're gonna get me going you know it's been I'm still in the desert mate. You what, today I'm going to get a suppository stuff it. Eff it with vibe. Jess and Ducco. Some viral audio I'd like to play and get you a hot take.

Is it Play On or is it a bit of a party foul? A flight over in the States, a Delta Airlines flight, heading off to Orlando. Now, correct me if I'm wrong. Home of Disneyland Orlando. It has a Disney world. It has one. It has one. Yeah.

Yeah. A magical place, Orlando. Yep. Uh, from all the footage I'm seeing of people filming themselves on this plane, and we'll get to why they're filming themselves in a second. Looks like varying, um varying demographics of people. There's some young couples, there's a lot of families. So I wonder if there's a bit of a family adventure

happening to Orlando. Some older people on the plane as well. So it's not a trip to Ibiza? It's not a trip to Ibiza. It's a bit more family friendly it seems, but a cross section of the community. Unfortunately, the Delta Airlines flight had to be delayed, but once everyone had already boarded, which is the worst delaying me when I'm still in the

airport, it's annoying, but at least I have access to the bathroom, cafes, vending machines, space to walk around. Sometimes they can't feed you because they don't have enough food for the flight. Unfortunately, they're already boarded, bags are on, but there is a technical difficulty and they need to just sit on the tarmac. I hate that feeling. Now I don't know the genesis of how this situation came to unfold, but a little girl, she looks

about nine years old to me, Ducko. Now why I say maybe Disney World is on the other side is because maybe she's in the mood, she's excited. Who's on the other side? Yeah. She's gonna go see her favorite Moana, maybe. She goes up to a flight attendant, maybe her parent does, and says,

hey, can I sing a song for the whole plane? Maybe I can entertain everyone during this two hour delay. And this is what everyone on the plane was subject to over the plane's intercom system. No matter how hard I try, every turn I take, every trail I trek, every path I make, every road leads back to the place I know where I cannot go where I long to be

See the line where the sky meets the sea it calls me Now she does that audio is gonna keep going if you want it to I think Shy Guy got about a minute of it She knows everywhere, Dachar She's a bit flat And she she's standing there. She's on a big A. I mean, I was just mucking around. There's one, there's definitely a mum there filming her like, go sweetie, get it! And there's everyone else and they're like, shut up. Someone is filming the little girl, which I don't know if it's appropriate, but she's got the,

you know, the phone with the curly wire. She does sound pretty good for that, I guess. She's not in the galley, it's just like in the middle of the plane. Emergency phone. Emergency phone, so she can obviously beam through the whole plane. She's really, she's going backwards? She knows every verse, every chorus. To be fair, if you were doing nothing and going nowhere, like... Now that was my take.

I'd be like, what else are we doing? What else are we doing? And at least I'd get a LOL out of it. You would, you got a TikTok out of it. Like a hundred other passengers on the plane. Unfortunately, not as thrilled. There's a lot of selfie videos. So you can hear her in the background.

Oh, actually I didn't think about that. But people gritting their teeth. Actually I didn't think about that too. Grinding their teeth, biting down on something this close to getting up and screaming at her. It's cute for a bit until it's not. It's cute maybe for a chorus. Yeah. People are writing this is my worst nightmare and personal hell. No hate to the girl but the parents should know how to read a room. Not everything should be centered around your kid.

She isn't Moana and life isn't a Disney movie. They'll be stage parents for sure. Like who gets their daughter out there and goes hey this flight's delayed everyone's cranky why don't you get up there and sing your Moana bit. Do you know what would help Sienna if you got up? Yeah do you do it. You go up you know all the words and then you know someone yells out do let it go all right. Did she do more? She didn't do more we only had Moana. I was gonna say. She's opened the door I'm surprised we didn't then see another 15 kids start lining up for karaoke. Honestly. Hey, I know a whole new world from The Little Mermaid. I know whatever from Aladdin. And then one creepy older guy is like, I also would like to do my rendition of Moana.

Can I do K-San by Jimmy Bucks? Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10K Alphabucks on Hints. Alphabucks. Yep, 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You can't use the same answer twice. And if you're unsure of the question, say pass. We come back to you, of course, if there is time. We're playing for $10,000.

Our player today is Sam. Hello, Sam. Hey, mate, how you doing? Sam, we're pretty good for a Wednesday, Dal. The opportunity to win $10,000. You up for the challenge? Oh yeah, most definitely. Oh yeah, great.

He's a player. Wait, when people come on and go, I hope so. You're the only one in control of this. You control your own fate, Sam. Whereas Sam is ready to rock. What do you want to spend the money on? Um, going to the UK later in a couple of months, so yeah, definitely going to smack a bunch on that if I win.

Okay, beautiful. Why not? I wish I knew a place in the UK starting with the letter V, but I don't. No, I can't think of one either. So I'm going gonna go with Vienna. Ah Vienna. V for Vienna. Sam that's the letter you're gonna work with. Awesome. Alrighty your time will start after the first question let's do it. Starting with the letter V we need you to name a non-alcoholic drink. A cooking ingredient. Uh, pass.

A movie. Van Helsing. A sport. Uh, pass. An occupation. Uh, that. A verb. Uh, pass.

A fashion brand. Pass. A musical instrument. Uh, violin. A clothing brand. A musical instrument. A violin. A clothing item. A V to V. A girl's name. Violet.

Your phone line was breaking up there, I didn't actually hear what you said for a clothing item. Did you say V-neck? Yeah. V-neck! I thought I heard a K on there. A V-neck tee! Nice answer! We'll give you... you got yourself six there. Not bad. Cooking ingredient could have been vinegar,

or vegetable oil, a sport volleyball, a verb, vanish. A fashion brand could have been Versace, and then everything else you got, you got correct. Look, you don't forget the cash, Sam, but you don't go away empty handed. You get $100 to spend online at Muck Hair. That is all yours. Awesome, thank you very much. Hair do will be looking fire for your trip to the UK.

You still got some hair Sam? Oh, not in me head but probably in me face. I was wondering with your response. Oh dear. Well enjoy it otherwise. You can re-gift, we've got no rules on that. You can gift it to anyone you want. Any haired person. Now, before we let Sam go, Sam, I have one question for you. Do you think Sam sounds tall? Sam sounds above six foot. Sam does, Sam sounds burly to me. He does sound taller, doesn't he?

I don't know if it's that sort of crackly phone line, but he sounds like a, you know. He sounds, Sam, are you? Sounds a bit rough and tumble, Sam. Are you six foot or taller? Yeah, I'm taller. Yeah, how tall are you, Sam? Six two.

Six two! Okay. See, I wouldn't have been surprised if you said six seven. Sam was given big energy. Huge energy. Yeah. Take it up, turn it up, turn it up. Jess and Ducko in the morning.

I need to tell you about something that came across my desk yesterday. You seem rattled, my friend. Well, it has thrown me. This has hurt me more than anything. You and your kin. Me and my kin, me and my people. As you know, I'm short.

I'm like 5'8", round up, thereabouts. And I'm going to let you keep saying. Yeah, yeah. Sure, babe. 173 centimetres-ish, thereabouts, round up. You can't just wear pinstripes, platform shoes, and spike your hair all the way up and then go, yeah, I'm 173.

I do have high hair naturally. Goodness me, it does wonders more. It's a natural quiff. In fact, you know what? A bouffant, if you will. My bouffant matters none because whether you're tall or short, it shouldn't matter in life, okay? We're all equals.

What have you famously said? I've said a lot of things on the show. Just remind me which one this one is. It's something about personality. Yeah, it's not about personality, it's about height. Well, the other way around. Ah, whatever. You just said it's not about personality.

It is about personality. Sorry, it's about how you get to know someone. Anyway, I found this out yesterday. Someone sent it to me. Sophia, a good friend of the show, sent it to me. That Tinder. Is she also tiny? Uh, I don't think she's that short. Okay, but she knew her short king friend. Sophia, good friend of the show, sent to me that Tinder... Is she also tiny? Uh...

Is she a short queen? I don't think she's that short. Okay, but she knew her short king friend would care about this news. Tinder, the dating app. Never been on it. The OG? The OG dating app, the original. It has sparked outrage and controversy as it's come out and it has launched its latest feature within premium discovery section of Tinder.

So I believe you've got to pay for this one. Okay. There is now a height filter so on Tinder you can put in a height filter to go mmm don't want anyone below 5'9 and I want to weed out all the ladies. That eliminates Duckman and his tiny friends. Well I mean at least the people who aren't lying about it for sure. Well there's your first question. How are we actually fact checking any of this stuff? People go on these apps and go, yeah, I'm looking for a relationship. And then you get into one, you go, no thanks, I'm here for a WAN ban. Thank you, man. But in terms of... Hi! You'll hear us all coming.

Roll in. Hey, how dare you! So if I am honest, and I put in, I am 5'7 and proud of it, you as the user can go like age brackets I guess. Exactly like that. I want 25 to 35 year olds and I want over 6 footers only. Exactly. So the discovery settings includes age range, sexual orientation, distance, all the normal

stuff and now height. It's a subscription that's about, I think it's like 20 bucks a month. Pretty expensive. I mean I'd pay that to make sure I know shorties are in my DMs. Well, come off it. See, this is what I'm talking about. You know, what is, you've got to get to know, so everyone acts like they're there to meet people, to get to know their personalities. No way. And here they are being hightest. Everyone's being hightest. I got a few messages. You yourself have flagged. When you hug women who are your height, you motorboat them. So pardon me for wanting a man who will not motorboat me.

Sometimes you need a motorboat. Okay? Someone got in touch on my Instagram because I posted it. You did. I feel like an awful person, but I've canceled a date once before because a guy was sitting on a chair in one of his Tinder photos and my friend pointed out he must be short because the way his knees sat on the chair, as if his knees must have been like still on a chair in one of his Tinder photos and my friend pointed out he must be short because the way his knees sat on the chair as in his knees must have been like still on the chair. Oh my god. So he's dangling his legs. On the base of the...

His little tootsens couldn't reach the ground. I told her to stuff herself and she's going to hell. The next person sent me a message going hang on so just back to her yeah she'd agreed to the date yeah obviously and then a friend went oh show me who you're going out with on Friday. Hang on a minute, he looks tiny. She goes, the heels were elevated, knees were flush with the chair. Hey, someone else messaged me.

Lauren got in touch and said, my husband is 5'5", welcome, King. And we met on Tinder. His first question to me was how tall are you? When I said 5'4", he told me he was 5'5", and it was a match made in heaven. I feel sorry for guys who are not given a chance. Amen, sister!

No, no, you'll be given a chance just by tiny women. Yeah, well, and there's not enough tiny women to go round, okay? There's a tiny women epidemic. So what I wanted to do, cause we normally... Oh, I've heard of a toilet paper shortage, Nugget. I've not heard of a tiny woman. There's a short queen shortage. And you know what it's like?

Where on me short? Microplastics are short shortening us boys, you know how it is. So what I wanted to do on 131060. Yeah but look at you, Ducko. You found a wife who was like a head taller than you and you're happy. She's half a centimetre taller than me. You guys, happy as Larry. You should be on the ads for Tinder. I know you didn't meet there, but you're a great billboard.

Personality plus. Personality plus. Morgan should front interviews. Hey, give short kings a chance. I did, and look how happy I am. They're easy. You can sit next to them on a flight, and they don't take up much room in the bed.

You could put them in the overhead if needed. Chuck them up. Hey Babs, it's the only other female on the team. Would you date a shorter person? Probably not. Wow. Wow. See, to me, commenting on someone's height may as well be commenting on the weight.

You know what I mean? It's the same principle. It's a physical attribute which should mean nothing, says the duck man. But in fact, it means a lot. It means everything. 131060, because we normally do to But in fact it means a lot. It means everything. 13, 10, 60, because we normally do to be it or not to be it. I thought we could get a bunch of guys call in and we want to tell, we'll get three on the line

and we have three questions to tell if you are sub six foot or above six foot. I love that. This is actually very beneficial for any people who are on Tinder who maybe can't ascertain, like the eagle-eyed friend who could see the knees on the chair. I like that.

Maybe some good questions to ask, telling. Can we trip up a short king? Do you know what I mean? But you gotta be honest. You gotta be honest. But let's be honest. You can still be above six foot and play the game. We've just got to guess.

Can we, anyone call 13 10 60. To hide or not to hide. To hide or not to hide. Can we pick your height just through a series of questions? Look them all coming. And your overall vibe. Come on boys. I got you baby.

There's the six footer coming. He's a bit slower. See? You wouldn't catch me in a race you fat lard. Jess and Ducker. Talking short kings right now because Tinder has recently come out and they've added a height filter to the premium subscription for Tinder meaning that women can weed out the shorter men.

That's right. Well I mean anyone can weed out a shorty. I got no time for you granted you got to pay for that feature but just like denoting the age bracket you're interested in I only want 5'11 and up thank you very much. So Ducco will never make it into your feed. It hurts me for my short brethren out there. Harry's 183 centimeters. Oh I'm see I'm 173, it says 10 centimeters on me. By 163 did you say? What I want to do is... We usually do, can we denote from your voice, your vibe and a series of questions if you

have hair on your chinny chin chin. Yeah, if you have a beard. But after this conversation we thought can we do the same without a visual obviously but with height. To height or not to height. Which didn't have a new opener. Essentially what the Tinder app is doing with this new feature. We get you on the line, we get three questions and then we get to work out if you're above

six foot or below six foot. I wonder if we need the questions. I reckon you can pick one. Just from the voice. Well. In saying that, if you'd heard me and not seen me, it'd be hard now. You're pretty high pitch. I'm joking.

The most common thing people say to me in public is you're not that short. Truly. Stop ruining our fun. Hey Dan. Yep. See, I've got it. I've got a vibe already. Me too, me too. Let's talk to him though.

It says you met your wife on Tinder here Dan. Yeah, yeah. One of her first questions was, are you this certain height? Oh wow. And had you lied about your height Dan, or were you being honest? No, I don't need to lie about my height. Okay, well let's ask about your height, Dan? Or were you being honest? No, I don't need to lie about my height. Okay, well let's ask a few questions to Dan. I think I know the answer, but Dan,

first question for me from A Short King, do you get anxiety when you were a kid and you went to theme parks because of the height stick? When I was a kid, yeah, I actually did. Ooh, he had a great spurt when he was a kid, see? Dan, do you prefer to have all your clothes folded? Or yeah, happy to reach up and get things off a coat hanger? Yeah, I can reach up quite easily.

I'm thinking Dan's tall. I think Dan was short and he's since grown and he's now tall. Do you reckon he was a late bloomer perhaps? Yeah, or just scared of roller coasters. Could be. Dan, are you above six foot? Yep. Yeah!

Were you short at one stage in your life? Yeah, I was short until I was about 17 and then had a big growth spurt. I'm still waiting for mine, buddy. Who's landed on the late blooms? I mean, 33, baby, could still happen. You can still happen, I'm waiting. Thank you, Dan. Thank you for contributing.

Thank you, Dan. I love the fact he's, well, wife now, but message straightaway going, are you telling the truth? How tall are you? Because y'all lie about your height. Oh, good friend of the show, Micaia. Good morning. Good morning team.

How are you guys doing? Yeah, pretty good. Now Micaia, we've- Not great, Micaia. We've chatted a few times, but I've never really thought about Micaia's height. Never thought about your height. A few questions for you, Micaia. How are you when you got your first kiss? Oh geez, probably 12, 13 I'm guessing. Okay.

I'm thinking if height was into play there'd be young. Yeah, Makaiya, when was the last time you bought something off the top shelf at Woolies? Um, I grab stuff off the top shelf all the time. Okay. And just, I've got one more follow-up. When you go on a road trip, say, whether it's with a family or with friends, will they go, oh, Mackay, you've got to sit in the middle seat? No, no, I don't sit in the middle seat. I reckon Mackay has got driver energy.

You're above six foot. You're above six foot, Mackay. No. What? Just under five, 11 and a half. Oh, no, come on. I don't count that. To be fair, we asked specifically, but I'm going to give us the point then.

If I was five, 11 and a half, I'd be six too. Put it that way. Thank you. Well, what an honest king. What an honest king. I'm not six foot. I'm five, 11 and a half. You're tickling it.

Makaya, he has big energy. You can feel it. Let's go one more. Steve, good morning to you, good sir. Good morning guys, how are we? I see I've got a vibe already. I don't know, I'm really hoping I got one shorty. No, that's what I'm saying. You know what? Oh, he's easy trouble for us.

I reckon Steve is a ducko and he's got personality plus. Okay. Now, Steve, when posing for photos, do you accidentally sometimes go on your tiptoes in the photo? No. Okay, that's a no. Steve, do you have to get your pants taken up a lot when you buy a brand new pair of pants?

Do you have to get them tailored? No, not since I was a kid. Okay. And do you hate the baggy clothes, um, like fashion right now? Oh, look, I'm either either. I don't care. I'm not a fashionista, ducker. Oh yeah. Okay. So, okay. Now the more we've spoken is Steve. He feels taller, but I feel like he could be throwing us, but I'm not getting an energy. What shoe size are you? What shoe size am I? 10. Oh that's big. I'm an 8 or 8 and a half

and that helps anyone. Women. You batten them up babe. Amongst my Short Kings I've got a big foot. You know Ducko go they say short things coming are good things coming small packages that's right Steve that's not all people say that see I feel like he's trying to throw us I think he's to be got personality yeah Steve you're a sub six-footer I am on five ten I am, I'm five-teen. Yeah! First hour of his life! Jess and Ducco.

I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk and a little biscuit, aren't you? My milk, my milk, my milk. Shy Guy dip. I'm so excited, I want Shy Guy's fuck. On Wednesdays, we dip, team. Wouldn't have it any other way. No, I wouldn't. So Shy Guy, he's great at a lot of things.

He's got a fresh new blue jumper on today by the way. He's looking fire. He sent me a photo of that yesterday as he was buying it because I was like, oh get me one too, we'll get matchy. Oh cute. Matchy matchy. But we didn't but it looks good. I reckon Shy Guy, he would never admit to this, but I reckon he's paid for colour analysis. Have you seen this trending on online? So you pay people To basically you sit in front of a mirror. They give you different color swatches to identify your best colors So stop buying dark blue Teal

My favorite color though, so seriously You do look nice in blue. It brings out your eyes, babe. Anyway, well hopefully you're on... Your eyes are a bit red today though. I was just rubbing them. What's... you got an itchy eye? They're itchy, yeah. Bit conjuncty.

Oh, eww! No, they were just itchy. Although, a child did cough on me yesterday at the said shop where I bought this. Oh. Well that could be it. Mum was like, oh I'm so sorry, you know how kids are. I was like, yeah. How close were you to the kid?

You know how kids are. I was like, yeah. How close were you to the kid? You know how kids are, you get it? No, she, it was in the trolley, seated. Yeah. Were you up in the kid's face? Were you getting up in the kid's face? No, no, the mum left it. Left it be a kid?

Went in, went and looked at something. Hey man, it's 2025. Like two meters away. Yeah. And the kid's just like coughing all over, and I'm like, okay, I'll walk away. Did you teach the kid? What a learning opportunity. You could have.

And then the mom comes over and I was like, oh, sorry, you know how kids are. I was like. You know how kids are. You can have mink eye. Do I? You can have conjunctivitis from the kid in the cereal. Conjunctivitis is so contagious.

Very rude. Just laughed it off. I was like, okay, thanks. Oh no. Spreading disease all over me. Oh no. So you're telling me this box of cereal could be compromised? No, this is at Woolworths. They are very clean at Woolworths.

Okay, this Woolies guy. So today can we call him Pink Guy? Pink Guy, I love it. Pink Eye Guy. Pink Eye Guy. Anyway, 131060. We got cereals. We need first cab off the rink. You get a jizz bit, which we know are getting stolen. They are left, right and centre.

You get a fridge magnet. You get a Jizz Bit, which we know are getting stolen. They are left, right and centre. You get a fridge magnet. You get the said box of cereal and... Oh, wow. Bottle opener. Bottle opener. Sorry, apologies. You've been leaving off that keyring bottle opener. Shy Guy, first clue please.

Red box. Massive clue. Huge clue. 131060 First Cab Off The Rink. You will get another clue. You know that. Yeah, you might also get Pink Eye. If you're lucky.

Pink Eye Guy. Jess and Zucko. I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk. Glass of milk over the top. clue you know that yeah you might also get pink eye if you like pink eye guy Jess and Zucko I reckon producer Shy Guy's having a glass of milk and a little biscuit ask you My milk my milk my milk Shy Guy Dips I'm so excited I want Shy Guy's fucks We're making our way down the cereal aisle Well apparently we're running out

Huge call from Shy Guy Well we're running out at the Woolworths Isle. Yeah I know. See, very lazy attitude from you. Aldi baby. There are other shops. Yeah, we'll go to Aldi. Let's find the dentics of cereal. Mate, when we did biscuits last year, one of the ones worth five grand was Fox's Marvelous O's or whatever that one was. We can find some niche cereals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Anywho.

That defeatist attitude of yours, it's the pink eye. It's the pink eye. He's not feeling it today. We go to Matthew. Good morning, Matthew. Good morning. Matthew, we've heard it's in a red box, but you get a supplementary clue being the first caller. What do you got, pink eye guy?

Four star health rating is what I've got. Ooh, that's healthy. Four-star health rating. Can we also have a moment to acknowledge that health star ratings on cereals mean nothing. Nothing. Does it mean anything on anything? What about the one that had all the vitamins and the minerals? I think that had about four stars.

Pretty sure cocoa pops have a good health star rating. Anyway, Matthew, what are you thinking? I was thinking the tricks, but I'm not too sure. I'm pretty sure we've already had that. So I might go with the new Kit Kat cereal. Oh, the Kit Kat cereal. That works! It is not though Matthew. Good pivoting though. Have we done the Kit Kat cereal? We have done the Kit Kat cereal.

Oh, I couldn't remember. Oh, jeez. Thank you for that contribution though Matt. That's right. It may come out in a little Kit Kat cereal. Anyway. Hey Kurt. Yes, hello, how are you? Thank you for that contribution though Matt. That's right, I may come out in a little kit-kat. Hey Kurt. Hey guys, how are you?

We're trying to get you a Jizz Bit, a fridge magnet, a bottle opener and a box of cereal. Red box, 4 star health rating. Another clue for Kurt. It's a Kellogg's branded one. Okay, well I won't sink in corn flakes but I went and casted mine back a little and now I'm gonna change and go to Froot Loops. Oh Froot Loops! Jeez Kurt. Do you reckon Froot Loops has a 4 star health rating Kurt?

I mean anything could. You're absolutely right. Oh mate, does it really make a difference? It's all full of sugar and you know what? Preach, brother, preach! That's right Kurt, that's right! It is not though. It is not though.

Thank you for joining the team Kurt and just quietly for the... Oh yeah? You know what? That's right Kurt, that's right. It is not though. It is not though. Thank you for joining the team Kurt. And just quietly for the... Oh yeah. Can I just say I've already got the giz bit. I pinched one off some guy and the beast went... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha her of her um croc? No I didn't really. Hey Kurt are you below six foot by any chance? Yes! You sound like my kind of guy. Big personalities. I love you Kurt. What a legend. I want to send Kurt a cheeseburger. But no you can only win them right here. Ash

good morning. Hi. All right it's not Froot Loops. It's not the Kit Kat cereal. You get another clue. Yeah, Ash. There's a man running on the box. I'm going to go Sustained. Did you say, did you say Sustained? A.

A. Yeah! Nice! Ash, how underrated is Sustained? You got it! 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18.

18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18.

18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. 18. Your pivot! Yep. Wendy, you are called to pivot, Ash. Congratulations to you and your son. All those great prizes, plus an unopened box of sustain.

Oh, Glen 20 it so you don't get Shy Guy's pink eye. We got pink eye. What? Jess, we need Ash in place to say the line. All right, Ash, before we let you go, we need a nice, clear, concise, hi, my name's Ash, and I'm so excited, I just won Shy Guy's box. Go!

Hi, my name's Ash and I'm so excited I just won Shy Guy's box. Not the pink eye. She got it! I won! I won! Jess and Zucko Had a moment in time for our parental lives the other weekend. So Morgan's mom had come to town last week. Darling Robin.

Darling Robin. She came to town just on her own and she stayed with us. It was the first time we had someone stay in our house while we had Flo, the baby. And it worked out really well and she's great. It's her first grandchild, so she's loving life. And it was good help for us because we don't have any family that live with us. So it was nice to be able to have her. Morgan's like, let's book a nice dinner and go out our first date night since baby. Seven weeks down. No one you trust more than your mom. Exactly.

I'm going to do it. I trust mom. I mean, she raised me and I turned out pretty good. Exactly. So she's going to be okay. And Morgan was obviously stressing about it, having that sort of separation anxiety, oh my God, I was like, it's your mom. It's fine. We're going to be okay. Let's go Oh my God. And I was like, it's your mom. It's fine.

We're going to be okay. Let's go and enjoy this. And then we're not going an hour away. Exactly. And even when we were out, she was like, Oh, should we go back kind of thing? I was like, you have been looking forward to this all week. Like let's just let it, let's soak in this. Yes.

Let's get another glass of red wine. Yep. Um, anyway, as we got there too, cause obviously Morgan's breastfeeding and she was pumping, she could only have a one wine, but had to have it early. So we get there and like, would you like breastfeeding and she was pumping, she could only have one wine but had to have it early. So we get there and they're like, would you like some water? I was like, no, straight away, we want red wine right now. We got a 90 minute window, we need to get it in. Let's get these in.

Anyway, we go, the dinner's all great, whatever. We get home and Morgan's mum, because I was like, we didn't hear from Morgan's mum, we're probably gone for two hours, didn't hear from Morgan's mum at all. Had you said we'd love some updates? No, we didn't. She did send us a photo. But we said, if anything's wrong, call us. And she goes, you know, if anything's wrong, I'll call you.

It truly I'll be fine. Enjoy yourself. And I told Morgan that she's going to be fine. We came home and Robin's looking a little bit disheveled, I suppose. Like she's like, she's been up against it. Well, your flow has woken up while we've been away and obviously wanted comfort and wanted mommy, maybe wanted some food.

We'd already fed her before she'd gone. That we'd left her a bottle to give her the bottle fee. Apparently she's been quite difficult with that for Robin. And then Robin did something that we hadn't done yet. And we didn't, we weren't opposed to it. We just hadn't done it. And we didn't really know if we were going to. Okay.

And that was the infamous dummy. Oh. So we've come home and we've looked in and Flo's sitting in a carrier. Now for those who aren't parents and know like the dummy is good because it shuts them up but also with the dummy comes withdrawal problems, with the dummy comes other issues. My cousin who's a dental hygienist even tried to say never use the dummy because it starts warping the way the teeth come out. Well Morgan's dad is an endodontist. Oh of course. Or what is he, is he an endodontist or what he does for he canals. I'm pretty sure. Did he have an opinion on dummies? Well I would have thought he didn't like it either but Morgan's mom's like

she was just wailing. I couldn't like get her quiet and so I just popped her on the dummy and as you look over it was like she was possessed. She's sitting in her little carrier going like but the dummy was a cheap dummy. Like Maggie Simpson. Yes! Going back to town. Exactly like that. But it was like the dummy is a cheap dummy that we I think we got given as a gift from someone and so it squeaks. It's like eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep eep e and squeaking and she's in the corner just like squeaking away looking possessed and you take it away from her and she keeps like thinking she's sucking it. Oh. And we're like said to her, it was like an addict. It was like an addict.

It was literally like a crack addict and I was like what have you done? What has our poor sweet angel? Isn't that funny because granted what Robin only been with you for 24 to 48 hours but she went where's the dummy I'm gonna find one. Yes. Was able to locate it. I didn't know we had one and she located it, whacked it in and now Flo's obsessed so like now you have the dummy and she'll just suck on that thing so hard, like she just goes for it. Pros and cons, isn't it? Pros and cons. It does make her quiet. Like yesterday we used it again and like there's probably nothing wrong with it, it's early age, whatever, but like. And people would argue better the dummy than the thumb. Yes. Because hopefully one day when you do want to wean her off it you can take it away. Yes. You can't chop off a thumb. That's true. So dummies, but

there are very staunch camps on this. Yeah. When we started sleep training because we were having issues getting through the night, the recommendation was get 15 dummies and put them all in the cot. Oh. So if she loses one during the night she can locate another one. Find another one and whack it in. Because the dependence on them is so great that if she loses it it's World War 3. Does Lucia dummy? Yes. Okay and if she loses it does she go nuts? Yes that's why genuinely we are putting I think we're up to eight in the cot. Oh so you're chucking them all in you're actually doing that. So if she wakes up in the night. Does she still not find them sometimes? And you're come on idiot. They're right there. Oh my god

What were we talking about this morning? There is an invention for everything for everything I gotta get into the baby's face. So if there's only one and this is the issue duck If you've only got one and it's squeaks and you lose that thing I'd be having 15 and reserve brother because they're more than I like to eat to prod Do we not let her go back on like do we sort of take it away and just go, that was a blip. That was a blip. You know what I mean? That was, that was grandma.

Yeah, that was grandma. But this is the issue. You all have to be in line and I know she doesn't live in town, so she's not going to be babysitting every weekend, but you've all got to be on board. Cause she was like laughing like, oh, sorry, but didn't, didn't ask us. And I was like, I mean. That's also the generational thing as well. She would have given Morgan one, no big deal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a huge deal. Now she's created an addict because last night she was sitting in a little thing. We, to be fair, we gave her to her last look cause she was just wailing and it wasn't feed time. You're effective, man. In lieu of the nipple, it's the next best thing. Totally. And you know, and you know, I don't have nipples.

I know you keep offering and she doesn't want yours. Nothing's coming out. So it does feel good getting a dummy in there. I know I hate them. I know. Yeah, anyway, so- Even the word dummy, like what's it called? Dummy. I know.

And they look so funny when they have it in there. They just sit there. Especially when they're little, little. Yeah, yeah. And you've taken up her whole face. It does. And she sits there with her hands crossed like canary looking into the distance, just sucking on the dummy.

I'm like, what's going through your brain right now, you freak. Yeah. Anyway. I reckon you'll have 15 DMs by the time you go to the ads because people have opinions. Jess and Ducco. Ducco, right now, it's a lesson for the kids out there. I heard a great warning tale. Be careful what you post. All right? The internet lives forever and it moves very quickly. Yep. A friend of mine, he's young, okay? And he thought he'd have a bit of a laugh. A colleague of his, he's young, okay, and he thought he'd have a bit of a laugh.

A colleague of his, he's a young, good-looking guy, he was doing a modelling shoot. His partner is an actual model and she roped him in to doing a bridal photo shoot. So he was there in the full tux with the little flower lapel looking very groom- like. And I think to his boys chat, he sent a bit of a selfie on location at the beautiful wedding venue in his tux, a bit of fun. My friend, Kai, he posts that selfie was only meant to be for Du Bois, post that selfie on his own story and says says congratulations on the elopement, Loki, wishing you well. He thought bit of fun. Right. The speed at which the internet moves. Yeah. Loki's best friend, who wasn't in this boys group chat, he sees it

on Kai's Instagram. The best friend sends it to his brother, the brother sends it to the sister, the sister sends it to his mum, Loki's mum. The friend sends it to his brother, the brother sends it to the sister, the sister sends it to his mum, Lockie's mum. The mum sends it to the nan, the grandma and then the whole family group chat. It's gone viral for this kid's family. Does he have a partner himself, Lockie? Yes, so he's the one who genuine, she's the one who is the genuine model. Okay. So yes, they've been in a relationship a long time. So at all tracks, maybe they have gone, cause this photo, he's clearly in a wedding outfit.

And that flower lapel, he's not just in a nice suit. He looks like a groom. And it looks like he hasn't invited any of the family, just snuck off on a random Monday to go get married. The best friend also sends it to his own mom, because these guys have all grown up together. That mom also got in touch with the nan. So the nan's getting inundated going, hang on a minute, what's happened? Has Loki got married and none of us have been invited? And the phone blows up.

So Loki has to call his mate going, you have absolutely stitched me up. How could you? Yeah, yeah. How good is that? How good is that? So, he immediately deletes the Instagram story, but the damage had been done. Yeah. Everyone thinks Lockie hasn't invited him to the wedding and he's public enemy number one now. Be very careful what we're pranking about, team. I often wonder with those wedding, those mock wedding shoots as well. I see girls do them a little bit or people that might be models. I'm like, is that a weird thing to do?

Like, would it feel strange going in the fake dress, doing the fake wedding shoot? I did one. Did you? Yes. Oh, what year would that have been? Jeez, it could have always been before I met you. I reckon it might have been because it was before we were engaged. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well before. So I was contacted by a venue who was assembling like a crack team of local vendors who just wanted to put on a styled shoot and they said, look, they actually said, we don't want a model. We want a real person. I was like, take that as you will. We want an everyday gal next door. But they said, would your boyfriend be interested? Because obviously we want you to look lovey dovey.

Yeah, real couple. And if you're not, you know, great in front of the camera, it'd be better if it was a real relationship. So, you know, you and your partner can look at each other. So you and Angus did it? Angus and I did it. And it was a month out, I found out afterwards. From him proposing.

From him proposing. That's anxiety for him. So he had a massive issue. Because then it looks like he's just done it because of the photo shoot. Exactly. So I think that was in like November. He ended up proposing in January. But I tried to do kind of what Kai did. I sent those styled photos to my family being like guys surprise and my mom lost her mind before she took a breath and went, oh, this is a joke, isn't it?

No, I didn't believe it for a second. There's no way in hell you would ever do that surprising. Like, you're doing a wedding. No way. What, not get my parents involved in the wedding? No chance. Someone had to pay for it. Yeah, it was in vogue.

So how much was it again? No, so I suppose because your wedding was beautiful and lovely, so you wouldn have felt this but I would have thought like if Morgan and I had done that say The wedding photo shoot would have been nicer than the actual wedding and then you would have felt like on your wedding day like You had look the universe was up against you on the day. So fair enough be careful This is a few cautionary tales out of these Doing the style shoots before you're married or engaged, and then yeah, trying to prank your friend. Don't do that, because when grandma gets involved, it's not funny anymore.

You've upset Nan. Jess and Ducco. TALENT SWEAR! ON YOU, YOU ARE TROUBLE. TALENT SWEAR! Trouble, trouble, trouble I knew you were trouble Taylor's version Trouble, trouble, trouble Jess and Dark with you on hit now it's Taylor's version She's got them all back now from Scooter Braun

All her tunes She does So I was just being educated I thought she re-recorded everything Oh yeah To get the, you know I guess you would call it the original file Technically he wouldn't relinquish them.

So she went, all right, stuff ya. I own the words. I'm going to go redo them. Yeah. But now you're telling me she actually paid quite the hefty sum. Hmm. $360 million. For the Romanian catalogue.

Yeah. And then fans are upset about it because they want Taylor's version. So they want her to rerecord them. Yeah. That would be a lot of work. So much. She has so many songs. Granted, $360 million is a lot of money. It's a lot of coin. Yeah. That would be a lot of work. So much. She has so many songs. Granted, 360 million is a lot of money.

It's a lot of coin. Yeah. That's a lot of coin. She's, she's, and she's got so many albums, so many songs. I don't know how she remembers the words to all her songs as well. When you see her in concert, you're like, how did you remember that? Some of the lyrics, the language she uses, unbelievable vocabulary. I remember seeing a compilation of some of the incredible words.

I went, that's a six syllable word, Taylor. How have you worked that into a pop song? Truly crazy. Incredible. Hey, speaking of women doing great things. We're going to give the man an Acra for best segue. I'll cancel the radio awards. The radio awards have been cancelled.

We've got to talk about Babs doing the jump. It's amazing. We've got to talk about Babs doing the jump from her knees to her feet on our Instagram. If one of the team breaks their vagina, it deserves to be highlighted and spotlighted. And Babs put her body on the line for this show and our social media. So yesterday we did a, it was like a viral trend, not a new trend, it's actually fairly old, we're pretty late. What do you mean, no way, we're pioneers. Well, you've got to jump from your knees, so your knees are flat. You're kneeling.

You're kneeling and your feet are flat on the ground, so shoelaces on the ground and you jump from there to your feet. And it's actually really hard to do and not everyone can do it. It looks like it'd be easy. One TikTok trend said it's a predictor of your biological age. So, you know, if you are 30 years old, you should be able to do this because this is the benchmark physically we've set. As 30 year olds should be able to do this. You, coming in at 33 years old, Ducco, didn't even blink. Didn't miss. One person commented, flowless. Absolutely flowless.

So I also said it's because of my height. Now we didn't need to bring shortness into it. Babs is shorter than me. Brenda really hit you in the gullies there. Shy guy. How tall are you? Six? Whatever. Tall boy. Tall lanky man. Who was nervous about it. Because you're physically...

I was also wearing like jeans. I know. Everyone was going, my pants aren't... These aren't my pants. These aren't my shoes. Drilled it. Yeah. Eight out of ten. I was surprised how well I did that. I um...

Look, I didn't master it. I'm surprised you didn't dislocate your knee. To be completely fair to you. Mine is impressive in my... In fact, you got it done. In fact, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't master it. I'm surprised you didn't dislocate your knee, to be completely fair to you. Mine is impressive in my, the fact I walked away. The fact that you came away unskate, no rolled ankle, no knee cap. I didn't feel good doing it, but your shock in that, did you just pull something or break something? I thought you'd done your ACL, like I was genuinely concerned. But the youngest and you'd think most physically able.

Well, she plays football every week. She does. She does She's she's the ripe old age of 24 the kid of the team the the the burden of age has not brought her back down To her life still she got all her life to live Hasn't even lived and there's even been to Europe duck oh Oh, don't bring that up was the only one to face plan and not get up three times in a row and have we not heard About it my goodness the messages are rolling in. Is Babs okay? Feel sorry for Babs.

Hey, I'm a PP. Does Babs need an appointment? What has she pulled? It's in Babs Really Breakdown says pray for Babs. Babs' entire family got in touch with us. In less than 24 hours, Ducco. It's one of our most viewed videos on our social media. Most of those, I think, from Babs's cousins making fun of her. So Babs, what happened in your household? You brought the family name into disrepute, Babs. Well, yesterday my sister just sent the video in the group chat and said nothing.

And then I said, please don't. And then apparently they all tried it last night and couldn't do it. It's hard. It's not as easy as it looks. Like to be fair to the haters out there. I mean, you're young enough where you shouldn't be able to do it. You shouldn't be able to do it. So none of your family could get it done?

Nope, they couldn't. Go check out the video if you haven't seen it. You know what you should do Babs, next time you have soccer training, bring the video up and go, Hey everyone, should we train with this? Oh yeah. You know, should we all practice? Well, I've got in my head now that I have to achieve it, so I think I'm going to be practicing every night until I can get it done. Why don't we do- Let's film Babs every day after the show doing it until she gets it done.

I love that idea. Once a day, only once a day. Oh, I get one crack a day. I'm going to have a brown bum. I'm going to look good if I do that. Sure. Absolutely. Is it round or brown? Yeah, what did you say? Round. Brown.

Oh yeah. I still heard brown. I don't know. Go check the video out. Go check the video out. Jess and Ducko. Jess and Ducko's 10k alpha box on hit. Alpha box. Yeah! 30 seconds, 10 questions, all starting with the same letter. Have to take your first answer. You cannot use the same answer twice. If you're unsure of the question, just say pass. We come back. Of course, if there's time time we are playing for ten thousand dollars our player is Kyra Lee. Hello Kyra Lee.

Good morning good morning. Good morning to you Kyra Lee. The big question how do you go at AlphaBucks? I go usually pretty well but um yes this is my first time that I've actually got put through so I'm pretty excited. How'd you get through Babs Gatekeeper Babs what What'd you say? I saw one of the claw foot bath. Oh Nice choice. So not just not a bathroom Renault just specifically this bath a nice Like a nice tub and they um, they're a pretty penny aren't they Kira Lee will that take up a 10 grand? Oh

Maybe about six and then you got your plumbers and all that sort of stuff. Alright, Kirrilee sort this through, Ducko. Let's get her a bath. And let's get her a letter. We're going to Vail Town for you, babe. You're going to work with the letter E. Oh, E, okay. That's tough. That is hard. A-E-I-O-U. E. Alright, Kirrilee?

Yes. Let's do it. Your time. Come on. All aboard the K train, baby. Amen. Let's do it. Your time. Come on. All aboard the K train baby. Amen. Your time will start after the first question. That's it.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter E. We need you to name a dessert. Oh my goodness. Pass. An Aussie animal. A kidna. Something green.

A eucalyptus, please. A Grammy winner. Pass. Something small. An egg. A movie. Pass. A country.

Ecuador. Something in the bathroom. Oh my god. Geez, that was a quick 30, wasn't it? It did feel like we went fast. That felt really quick. I feel like we wrapped that up pretty quick. We got through seven.

That was the worst letter. We got four. We got four right, I'm sorry. A dessert could have been an eclair or an espresso ice cream. A Grammy winner, Elton John Ed Sheeran. There's a few. A movie you kind of said Et-E-T is what we were after. And then something in the bathroom, of course the electric toothbrush, exfoliator, a few things like that. Eye cream for Shiger who will need some of that soon because he's got pink eye.

That's right. But look, Kiralee, you don't go away empty-handed. It's not the money, but you do get $100 to spend online at the beautiful Muck Hair. Oh excellent, thank you very much. Thanks Kirri Lee, thanks for joining the show. Cheers, thank you. It's different when you get on the radio, isn't it? It's always different when you come to the pressure cooker. It's one thing to play in the car.

Like in our time doing this show, there's probably only been 10 winners of 10k Alphabucks. Oh if that. If that, you know what I mean? Like it's a hard thing to win. Absolutely it is. It just shows how good it is when people do win. Truly. Yeah. They really step up and it's not even about knowing the answers. Because you know if you had all the time in the world you would get them. Yep. It's about working under those conditions. Hearing our voices, the clock. Not being thrown off by babs. Yeah. You know? Really. To start your day. Hey. Better luck next time. Better luck next time and up next we're doing something a bit of fun

We've got to discuss Crocs Unfortunately when we decided to create a Jess and Ducco Jizz bit Yeah, we opened ourselves up to a lot of croc conversation a lot of croc chat and hey We're kind of in the minority being anti crocs. Yeah, we're not crock fans. We are. We used to be. Crocs were a joke. They were invented as a joke. They're genuinely Hollywood designer. Yep. I think we might now be in the minority. I think we could be. Oh my god, we've been inundated with a lot of people wanting to make you feel better about your tiny stature.

What do you mean? What? What? One message. What was this about? When did this come in? When you said about the short kids. Oh, from 6.30?

Yeah, yeah. Still getting messages about it. You were talking about Tinder bringing in this new feature where you can weed out shorties. Yeah. Which I argued is just as rude as putting someone's weight on there. I said tightest. You said it's tightest. Yeah. Hooligan got in touch and said, don't worry, Zucko, my mum, who was a shorty, used to tell everyone, you stop growing once you're perfect. Oh, that's a great line. So you can go, have I never

used that? That's pretty good. Thank you, Hooligan. That's a great line. I thought you'd like that. We did, yeah. We got our short king boys on earlier. It was a whole thing. Absolutely. Right now though, crocs are all the rage. Now I came on air, was that yesterday? The day before, and spoke about the croc jizz bit getting stolen. Yeah, could have been Monday, could have been Tuesday. They all blend into one, don't they?

Monday, says Jai guy. He mailed Monday to me instead of using his mic. He was Monday. He was Monday. He was Monday. I love that. It was on Monday at 7 10. Oh, there he is.

I love that the cogs were going, do I chip in? Yeah, I was like, I'll let you do this on your own It was on Monday at 7.10. Oh, there he is! I love that the cogs were going, do I chip in? I'll let you do this on your own and pretend you came up with it. Thanks buddy. I see. I came up with it all on my own. So, Monday. Monday, and then we found that out and I was shook, but at the same time I was kind of

like, this is an ultimate compliment to the Jess and Ducko jizz bit. Absolutely. But crocs are so big right now. I have a friend who wears his Crocs. He has the two modes. He has sports mode for Croc and normal mode, which is pretty common sports mode. You'll whack the strap on so you can run like he can wear them running. He wore them. This was not in sports mode.

He whacked it up in casual, but he wore it to his friends Charles Christening. Like people are wearing Crocs everywhere. Jess He does. Jess He does. Jess He does. Jess They are a joke shoe. They were invented as a joke, genuinely. A Hollywood costume designer was writing, I can't remember the film, I want to say Jake Gyllenhaal was in it, literally designed this shoe for the movie for insane asylum patients because it was meant to be

something only- What was that movie? It's going to kill me now. But they caught on in popularity mainstream and she came out going, no, no, these were meant to be a joke. And everyone's loving them. And I don't know how much they are. I think they're like 70 or 80 bucks.

I think they're relatively affordable compared to like a Birkenstock, which we've also criticised in the past. Well, you have. I don't know how much they are. I think they're like 70 or 80 bucks. I think they're relatively affordable compared to like a Birkenstock which we've also criticized in the past. Well you have, I haven't. Because you came on board with the Birk. I love Birks. And I'm worried about you now with Croc because your wife, did she buy them for work? Uh, you. On her feet a lot. I see a lot of nurses and doctors wearing Crocs. She wears the Birk, she wears the clogged Birkenstock for work because she's a fear nurse. She wears the clogged Birkenstock for work because she's a fear nurse. She wears the clogged Birkenstock? I thought she might wear a croc.

She got crocs because she wants to be cool and trendy. What a sentence that is. I know. And now they're so comfortable. Whenever I put up an Insta story, she's got the crocs in, people always message, love the crocs, love the lavender colour. I mean, let alone now, all the accessories. I mean, we designed a jeezbit, which was meant to be a jean, and they're the hottest ticket item. But you can buy adornments and accessories

Yeah, my friend who got married last year for the pre wedding You know the night before the morning of she had her crocs and had b-r-i-d-e Five jizz bits spelling out bride my good. Are you joking? Well, Babs are crocs in the wild yesterday I did I was sitting outside reading my book and this guy just like ran past, like obviously on a serious run. In exercise gear? Yep. He had his, you know, like his tank on and he's running shorts and he like said hi as

he ran past and I said hi and like put my eyes down and he was fully running in his crocs. Like going for a run. Going for a run in his crocs. Not he was late for an appointment and just ducked out from the car. No, and I wanted to be like, sir, come back, you've got the wrong shoes on. Sir, please, sir. Socks or no socks? With socks.

Yeah, that makes sense, because you only get the chafing of the feet, that would be a bit of a rubby, you know. But I would imagine it would be like, Oh, it would be uncomfortable, it would be very bad for your feet. Don't people argue that they are comfortable? They are, no, to be fair, okay, I don't like them, I don't even get them, I'm the Birkenstock guy, but Morgan has them, if I'm taking the bins out, I'll chuck no, to be fair, okay. I don't like them. I'll never get them. I've got the, I'm the Birkenstock guy, but Morgan has me. If I'm taking the bins out, I'll chuck them on to take the bins out. They are so comfortable.

It's ridiculous how comfortable they are. I'm like, damn it. You're this close. Because I don't, I don't like the look of them. Like my Birks, I feel like, you know, I'm practically holy. So they're like a Jesus. But we get to an age, ducko, like you tucking your shirt in the other day. You get to an age, comfort does, like you tucking your shirt in the other day. It was an accident. You get to an age, comfort does trump aesthetic.

It does. They are very comfy. You know what I'm saying? But I wouldn't wear it to a christening. No, he's taken it way too far. I wouldn't wear it running. So what we thought we could do on 13, 10, 60, what are you doing, Crocs? If you want to call and say, oh, I'll do my gardening.

Yeah. I'll duck to the shops. Sure. But we are looking for, oh, I'll exercise in exercise in them. I'll go to a fancy function. What are you wearing them to? What are you wearing them to? Where have you seen crocs? Are you jazzing them up?

Are you jazzing crocs up? Where have you seen crocs that you shouldn't have seen crocs? When they invented the jizz bit, did you go, oh, well now I've got free reign. Here we go. I'll dress them up, class them up. Yes. Has anyone gotten married in their crocs? Shut up. You know. All right. Has anyone gotten married in their Crocs? Shut up. I would, you know. All right.

13, 10, 60, Croc lovers. Jess and Ducco. 13, 10, 60, we're talking Crocs. Crocs in the wild. Hmm. For me, Birkenstocks, Ugg boots, they're all sort of in a similar camp. I don't like them, but if you're going to have them, have them inside. Wait a minute.

Birkenstock is definitely an outside shoe. You come with Birkin Ugg in the same camp because that's completely different. No, no, no. I can see Ugg and Croc in the same camp. For me? For me, Ducco? Uggly. I've always wanted Birks to work.

I know. Yeah. I love a Birk. But it's your body and it's your shoes. Yeah. I'm the one who has to look at them, but it's fine. It's your body. Do you wear any sandals?

I'm a slide wearer. Yeah, oh. In my house. Oh yeah, okay. In my house. Crocs to me, one are a joke shoe. Yeah, they are. Ugly as all hell.

Gardening, I think, is the only place I can abide by them in your backyard. Even beach, where you're gonna get them wet, they're actually a practical beach shoe. I'll cop that. You know, whereas Berks, they kind of aren't that waterproof. Let's get the plastic one. You have spotted, well no, your friend admitted.

Yes. Christening. Yep. They are not a dress. Yep. He went into the house of the Lord. I know. How could he?

In a croc. In the croc. It's a one way ticket to hell. It's going. Bab spotted someone running in crocs, like exercise gear and running. Obviously people go to the gym in them. Like, they'd be horrible foot support. So we wanted to know, where'd you wear Crocs?

What'd you do in the Crocs? We go to Tom on 13 1060. Hello, Tom. Hi. Do you love your Crocs, Tom? Yeah. Where do you wear them? In the pool.

Inside the pool? Yeah. Why do you need shoes in the pool, Tom? Because it's fun. Hard to argue with that. That'll get daggy as you get older, Tom, but for now it's cute. Give you five more years. It's fun. So what, when you walk along the bottom,

you've got the support of your crocs? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Are you doing freestyle? Yeah, what are you... Oh, you're kicking? Are you doing like a stroke in your crocs crocs. I don't fall off your feet My crocs don't fall off my feet. Yeah, you've got that sports mode on for the crocs Okay, that's a young convert to a croc. Oh, but then again, have you seen like the baby ones?

Yeah, they are selling them for all ages. The baby crocs. The baby crocs. Yana on 13 10 60 What's your best friend doing with the crocs? There's a Janaya. Sorry janaya. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Sorry, no, you're right She's got her engagement party this weekend and she's bedazzled up her nice and beautiful and that she's gonna pop on for engagement party Shut up. Are you serious? Yeah Did you mean with like the giz bits and stuff or is she taking arts and crafts to a new

level? Look, she is a bit of a DIY queen, but she's just got the bedazzled little jizz bits, whatever they're called, putting on them. They're definitely called jizz bits. Does she have like a party gown? Like she's going to look like 10 out of 10 and then you look down and she's wearing crocs. Yeah, well, she's actually got a beautiful dress and heels to wear but then she's actually going to be wearing them after. She's changing into her tracksuits and then she's gonna put Crocs on afterwards.

Well you can only imagine at the wedding when she gets into the reception dress, you know the brides these days, everyone puts the party dress on, Crocs will come back out for that. Crocs will come out for that. Abby good morning. Morning. Where have you seen crocs in the wild or is it you committing this sin? It's me. What are you doing? I go hiking in my crocs. But how? I don't think they have the best like not only foot support but grip if you're going hiking. No they do. My partner wears his hiking boots and slips over and I don't slip over in the crocs. I get them in my sports mode, we walk through rivers. This is an ad for crocs now.

It really is. It's crazy. He's slipping in his North Face made to measure this is a hiking boot and Abbie's the one staying upright in a croc. Do you wear socks with them when you go hiking or you go in there? No, that's a crime. What's the crime? Wearing socks with crocs is the crime. That's what we draw the line. It's like wearing socks with sandals. You don't wear socks with sandals. Even when you're hiking. Yeah because I'm going through water. You don't want socks to drop. Yeah, they're holding. If you go through water, you're going off-road croaking. Does Abby have to plug up every hole on the crocs with a gizbit to make sure they are waterproof? Are you plugging all the holes with gizbits, Abby?

Yeah, but they're nearly all fallen off now. Oh no. Well, we'll get you a Jess and Dachau one. Talk to the guys. Huge. Hannah. Hello. Hello. I wear my crocs to the pub. Like. Uh. Hannah. Hello. Hello. Where do you- I wear my Crocs to the pub. Like out on a Saturday night. On a Saturday night? Yeah.

How old are you, Hannah? I'm 31. But see, that's trendy now. You, you see Crocs out- No one dresses up anymore. I have a pair of, um, platform ones. And then I have a pair of like home ones, which I'll wear to like do grocery shopping and stuff. Oh, platform ones are disgusting I have a pair of like home ones, which I'll wear to like do grocery shopping and stuff.

Platform ones are disgusting. They are so gross. And I'm currently wearing them now to work. Oh my god. Why the po- do you think the platform makes them classier? Yeah, definitely. And I have socks on. Are you a short queen, Hannah?

No, I'm six foot. Six foot in a platform croc! Wow! Can you send us foot in a platform croc. Can you send us a picture, if you are wearing crocs right now, can you please. We need to get you a Jess and Daco gizbit. I think we do. You know what everyone who just contribute, Tom in the pool. Yeah. If you just contributed and you missed your gizbit call back.

Uh, we'll get you a Jess and Daco gizbit. And please yeah, DM us. What are you doing right now? Do you have your crocs on? Yeah. And what are you, I need to see Abby hiking in her crocs. Nothing is tackier than a high heeled croc, I'm sorry Hannah. Couldn't agree more, couldn't agree more. Jess and Daco.

Hey Daco, what do you reckon my worst trait is? Oh goodness me. Oh, worst trait. Um, I'm going to say, how do I, Shy Guy, you can step in any time. No, on the podcast, I got asked to describe Jess's face in an adjective and I was like, nope. He chose wow. I'm not playing that game. Um, worst trait, worst trait.

Maybe uh, taking things very literally. Um, like, like, oh damn, maybe taking things very literally. Like, oh damn, she said that. A bit of feedback. No, no, no, I actually don't know what you mean by that. Maybe just asking heaps of questions. Yes, that's what I mean. As in like, as in like, like there's a question like, what'd you get for dinner? What'd you get then?

And then, and then I do, this is, I know Angus has told you this before, when you say, we love that. I'm like, no, no, you love that. I don't love that. All right, you done? Yeah, sorry, you asked. Sometimes once you start. Are you done?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you done? Recalling names from like three days ago, like I should recall, like I should remember. I'm like, I don't know. Why do you ask anyway sorry I asked my husband that question that is loaded all right had an answer in mind okay what's your answer my answer is how mood dependent no my answer is how appetite dependent my mood is. I take hangry to another level. It's actually a very ugly quality of mine and I am trying to work on it. And I

just noted yesterday, I was up against it a little bit, so I hadn't had much fuel in the old gob. So by the evening I was menaced. I could feel it emanating off me and obviously wanted more punishment. So I asked Angus, what do you reckon my worst trait is? Thinking he might answer that because we are soulmates and I thought he could read my mind. Oh goodness. Instead of just saying, God, how appetite dependent is my mood? I don't know if anyone's ever going to get that.

Stupid. He, Ducko, unlike you, went, God, bleed the fifth. I'm not falling for this. What do you think? I was born yesterday. Yeah, yes. He, um, but I twisted his arm because then I thought, oh, no, there's a thread here. And he goes, oh, you never let me finish a sentence. So maybe you're interrupting. That's another good one Angus. Add it to the list.

And I lost it. No, I'm joking. No, I'm joking. I was like, oh yeah. No, and that's fair. It is something I have been working on, letting him actually finish his stories. Because exactly- Did you say, but we love it when I don't finish this.

No, because exactly what you and Babs identified, I saw her chip that to you. The questions, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I ask a lot of questions when he tells a story. He doesn't give heaps of detail. I think every woman would be nodding going, husband comes home and goes, oh God, Fred got divorced. What happened?

Oh, I didn't ask any follow up questions. Classic, you know, male stereotype, Fred got divorced. What happened? Oh, I didn't ask any followup questions. Classic, you know, male stereotype down telling stories. But I was like, Oh, I wasn't expecting you to say that. I was looking more for the answer about appetite affecting mood. But what was I expecting? Was I born yesterday? I feel like I'm in trouble as well because we brought up other ones that he didn't say. You went on for a bit too long, brother.

I thought you- Babs, it was really Babs' idea, not mine. What she said in the... Babs kickstarted it. The question ones is a good one. That's what I meant by taking it literally. It's like... Is that what you meant? Yeah, like it's like...

I'm very inquisitive. Inquisitive, yeah, yeah. Take that up with my father. Very inquisitive. I blame him for a lot of things. He taught me to be curious about my fellow human being. Pardon me. I'm getting better when I like what to leave out of stories and when to like you know that I know you're gonna ask questions too. So I'm like oh I'm just. I'm sorry I care so much about the minutiae of your life. Pardon me.

I know it's great. It's good. It's everything's fine. We're all good. Everything's good here. What's Shy Guy's worst quality? I Reckon the walls up. He's got too many walls up. He doesn't like to look silly and that that holds him back. I think I am just dumb Oh Oh Babs with another great contribution. He's too sarcastic Alright Babs, you're very quick to judge everyone aren't you? Jess and Ducco Just about ready to wrap it up here.

Team? About an hour ago, we started talking about crocs. Because we think Ducco and I, Shy Guy, where do you stand on crocs? No. And Babs, not a croc girl. She's loyal to her Doc Marvah. It's the only thing we all agree on as a team. Wow.

We have jizbits. Yeah, we have Jizbits. Yeah, we have Jizbits. You know why? Because we are in the minority. We know they're called Jibbits. Jizbits is our fun way of calling it. We've got about four phone calls off air about it. People are texting in.

Jizbits, Jibbits. Yeah, no mate. We're just mucking around. It's an in-joke. We're just having a bit of fun. It's a little Jess and Ducko. To be fair, people still ask me. One of my best mates, Tommy, you know? Thought he was an avid listener.

Jess, I'm sorry to offend you. What the hell's a rice cooker? So to be fair, some people miss it and then we move on and then they feel embarrassed to ask. It makes it sweeter for the ones that do. Absolutely, if you know, you know. Yeah. But yes, we know they're called,

whatever, they're jizz bits, it's funny. But a lot of people wearing them in unusual and unexpected places. We're getting inundated with photos. Oh man, they're jizz bits, that's funnier. But a lot of people wearing them in unusual and unexpected places. We're getting anything inundated with photos. Oh man, they're heeled jizz. Someone wearing a Hello Kitty high heeled croc. Stop it. Complete with jizz bits.

It looks, yeah. To bike her nephew to school. I'm waiting for permission to share it on our Instagram story. Oh god, it's hideous. Someone else said, I'm a roofer and I wear crocs on the roof, it gives the best grip when it's wet. Now that is interesting. No one would know grip better'm a roofer and I wear crocs on the roof. It gives the best grip when it's wet. Now that is interesting.

No one would know grip better than a roofer. Terrifying. Yeah. But tried and tested. To be fair, I did wear them on the roof the other day when I was draining. We have a box cutter and it always overflows. Morgy Morgs crocs. Yeah. So I jumped them on. I jumped, I climbed the lattice and jumped on the roof as one does cause I don't own a ladder. Um, and they were very good up there. You know? Risky move for someone who didn't know they would be non-slip? Yeah true I actually thought it was a dumb move. This is why women live longer.

It definitely is. Come on! It definitely is. I'm glad you're okay but don't do that. Thank you so much. Also another pro about being small is I can just maneuver my way up onto that roof you know? You're a little monkey. Yeah a little monkey can jump around on things. Yeah. Yeah. Swinging from tree to tree. That's why you won't cut down that huge jacaranda you're just little monkey. Yeah, little monkeys jump around on things. Yeah. Swinging from tree to tree. That's why you want to cut down that huge jacaranda. You're just swinging around.

I do love hanging in it. Just watching the cars go by. I drove past your house the other day and I'm like, God damn, that is tickling your neighbor's fence. It is. Tickling your neighbor's house. It is, isn't it? It's fully over their balcony.

Oh no. That'd be rustling that window. It is. Yeah, the neighbor actually said to me the other day that he's like, I'm a bit worried about that tree. I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I tried to get a tree lopping service to come and that was so useless they never came. What do you need it you get up there you little

monkey man and you saw it off. I'll rip my hatchet I'll just keep wailing away at it. You and Shy Guy he can have a net under you or something. I don't feel like we should recommend this. I do need a tree. Oh no, Ducko does. Tiny Axe. If you run a tree lopping service, please message me on Instagram because I do need one. Talk about ambassadorship. That's a beautiful match made in heaven.

It wouldn't be a big job, but you know, I just need one just to clean it up a little bit. You know what? Oh my god. I tried to park in front of my own house yesterday and the council had the cherry picker up pruning the tree in front of my joint. Oh. I guess that's technically the nature strip.

It's on the middle. So maybe it's council, whereas yours is on your land. Ours grows in our land, just grows over the neighbour's fence, which is just annoying. Do you own a cherry picker? They'll take that too. And a chainsaw. Yeah, yeah. A ladder, a chainsaw.

Do you own anything? It is on a major road, isn't it? It's quite the operation. It is. It really is. Because you need to park in my neighbour's driveway in order to chop it down. We just need to get onto their balcony. Yeah, really, yeah.

It's not asking that. Nah. It's getting out of hand. They're all rentals though, so I'm like, nah, they don't really care. I was about to quote Home Alone 3 and I'm not going to do it. There's three? My god! Who can quote the third?

McCauley Culkin isn't even in it. How many times can you get left at home? Go for it. It's the suburbs Mr. Unger, no one's home during the day. Sorry Jess, that's just far too niche. The villain says it to his villain mate. Actually I think that's my most hated quote. I didn't even know there were three movies. Man no one can quote a movie. My point is, Yep. He could go on his neighbor's balcony because the suburbs, no one should be home.

Ah, I see. It actually fits. No, my neighbors are his home. My one girl on Instagram who messaged me once being like, "'Jas, every time Ducko plays that I get so mad for you, "'I always know the niche reference you talk to.'" Well, she's also weird. What's she talking about?

Does she know that one? Let's find out. Let's find out, baby. That's gonna be, I reckon that's the most niche you've ever done. Home Alone 3, you reckon? Home Alone 3. You reckon that's worse than Everybody Loves Raymond? Yeah, cuz at least that show is kind of funny. Oh Home Alone 3. Home Alone 3. Huge niche reference.

Massive. So close Mr. Unger. I'm being sent some stuff about trees. Excellent news. Is anyone messaging me on Home Alone 3? No. No. Hey, if you're missing the show, grab your podcast wherever you get it.

Or on Listener, wherever you get your podcasts. It was good fun. So we're back tomorrow. More Fridays, live tickets. Alpha Bucks, your chance at $10,000 back twice tomorrow. It's Thursday, which means we wordy-okey. That's right. Yep.

Just curiously checking. Just refreshing. No Home Alone messages. Oopsie! I'm not the only person who's seen that movie. No, I've seen Home Line 3 with the new kid. Oh my god, Monique said I got married in my crocs. Oh my goodness.

What is wrong with people? Jeez, we're getting all sorts of messages. I didn't need that reaction. That's bad. We're outta here! Bye bye! Bye. Bye.

You wouldn't catch me in a race, you fat lad! Jess and Darko! That's right! We're out of here! Bye bye! Bye. Bye. You wouldn't catch me in a race, you fat lad! Jess and Darko! That's bad. We're outta here. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. You wouldn't catch me in a race, you fat lard. Jess and Ducko!

That was the Jess and Ducko podcast. Macca's new Tennessee barbecue range, now touring for a limited time.