Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - I folded in like a taco

Episode Date: March 22, 2026

Jess takes a friend on and errands date, Rohans got an update from his postman and we talk dumb injuries!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for hitting five star. Thank you for following. What accent are you doing?

It's like, I don't know. It was like a Russian. My wife. You will never get this. You'll never get this. What's a ball rat, fantastic. And Bruno, not so much. Did you watch Bruno?

I don't see Bruno. The follow-up one, Sasha Baron Collin, Colin. Didn't quite hit. Didn't hit, did it? I mean, it's pretty full-on, and it can be pretty funny. But it's not Borat. Borat was just great. Borat was in a league of its own.

Could he have made it today? No. He did. He did. He made one last year. Didn't he? It wasn't last year? You before?

Did he? Yeah, and he introduced. A demon woman. He was still like pretty Borat. He interviewed the guy that was with Donald Trump's camp. And he started sweating and it was like a full outed thing. It was hilarious. Really?

Yeah. Oh, Borat's subsequent movie. movie film was 2020. Oh, 2020? Quick movie game. Babs are cheating as usual. But Rowan and Shy Guy, what year did Borat come out?

I want to say 08. No. Earlier, babe. Yeah, I was going to say 4. Six, bang in the middle. I can't even see that. Bullshit. You got young eyes.

You could see that. Cheater. Quit cheating. Good cheating. Don't get me started. I'm cheating. I'm not cheating. Well, it's a defensive body language.

Well, you teet off. You're going to start throwing hands. Yeah, maybe. I'd love to see you swing one at Farch. I have been asking Babbs to wrestle me for years. This sounds really bad, but I kind of want to punch someone once in my lifetime just to say it feels like. Do you know what's funny? I would like to receive a punch to know what it feels like.

But can I wear a mouth guard? I don't want you to knock my teeth. Never. Have you? No. Oh, I haven't punched there heaps. Have you? But in the face?

Yeah, dude. Gosh. In the cheek? Self-inflicted? What does that mean? Well, did you deserve it? No. Self-inflicted sounds like you punched himself.

Sometimes you just have to stand. Sometimes you just stand your ground, sometimes you get punched in the face. Who's punched you in the face, Rowland? I used to getting plenty of fights in Canada. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, drunken idiots. Not even in school. Oh, no, a couple times at school, but I was in Tasmania.

Everyone used to fight. Okay. Yeah. So you've received a punch. School footy, like crack, elbow. And your teeth are still perfect. That's my biggest fear. That babbs had knocked my teeth out.

My dad would be really. upset with you. It's never like... It's never like... No, it has to be in the face. It has to be in the face. It's never like stand up, fisticuffs like this. It's not like boxing.

It's just like you get really close. And then someone hits you. You go, oh, the hell and you hit them. And then you leave. I reckon Babs and I could do it for charity. Yes. Would you fight me for charity? Do you know how many people would watch that?

I would get the shit as me. She would fucking. Oh, she would and I would love it. However, you don't know. I'm scrappy man. No, I like nipple cripple her and stuff. I'd be dirty. I'd be dirty.

With the gloves? No, I'm mud wrestling. I'm not proper boxing. Maybe we can raise money, but it's for us. You're not charity. The charity is Billy Gap. Babs trying to do Fight Club. What the hell?

This is Babbs' Fight Club. Actually, you know what? I just are telling Rowan, my floorboards are getting delivered today. I am bankrupt. So I could also raise some funds. Yeah, it'd be good. We can start doing like boxing classes and shit. That's so fun.

We will just like punch the shit out of each other. We will reveal the location on the day. That's pretty funny. And it's just shy guy and us like sleased out with our shirts off, watching chicks five. A couple of years ago, Rowan. And Shaw guys, the lady that comes around and does the round one. In the beauty shorts. Rowan, a couple of years ago, I tried to pitch to old mate down the hall.

Like, let's do a charity, you know, we'll box. We'll do like a syndicated thing. Yeah. Didn't want to play. I'm surprised you pitched that. Well, I just thought it could be like, what a thing for Newcastle. Yeah. You know, it didn't come on.

off. So I haven't been able to find something. Two women at the forefront of Newcastle media. Yeah. For raising money. Let's see who can punch each other the hardest. Yeah. You should have asked like...

No, it'd be a pin situation. Oh, that's a bit of fun. Oh, who could pin the other one down? Natasha Bayersdorf. Yeah. No, I reckon full fist, like eight-ounce gloves. Like, who can knock each other out? Yeah.

There's just some technique to that, isn't there? I've only done body combat, which is where you punch the air. I'd love to see it. I'm trying to hit a bag. Those things are heavy. Yeah. Hit a bag. You hit a bag.

Rock on. That's it, baby. Look at shy guy's getting real into it. Girls are over the corner hitting bags. Bang, bang! We could do this. We can sort it out. We could sort it out.

And then shy guy and wrong. What would happen is, we don't need a fight. We're cool. You two are having issues at the moment. We're not. I'm having issues with shy guy. He won't accept my apologies.

You want to wrestle me? No. Do you want to wrestle? Stop trying to make things happen. No, because shy guy get rid of. into it and forget and swing and knock you so clean hard. It'd be like, whoa.

Then it'd be like, no, please. Have you seen him high kick? Yeah, I was going to say, his arm would be limp and just be like, what would happen with you to is you would start kind of like jab, jab, jab, jab. Then one of you would land a real hard one.

Babs did see the red mist and fucking take my head off. It'd be like those pop and sock and robots. She would literally uppercut me. My head would detach. She'd keep going. She might kill me. So funny. She's got the fear.

It'd be fun, I don't know. I've demanded too much from her over the years. MMA, cage fight. Maybe you do cage fighting, however you want to fight. You'd have to get rid of your extensions. I remember I shave my hairs, I just got nothing to hold onto. You really do commit to the bit. You really do.

I really do. I really do. I really do. Boy caps. Why do you have to have a ball cap? I don't know. I don't want my hair to be pulled neither. Pluck and her eye, but lashes out one by one.

Pat turns up in a Yankees cap, babe. Not what we're thinking. This is not what we're thinking. It's just people. Yeah, yeah. I'm going down. I'm yelling. We could do it.

You guys could fight. Rowan could DJ. Yeah, I love that. And you're the ring girl. It just sounds like a legal would like. I can have another. It's fine. It's fine.

Well, you're going to let your producer punch the talent. Yeah. Oh, yeah, no. Getting that over the line. Good luck. Well, there is a full company called corporate boxing where they're like, they do like a 12 week training. And then at the end, they like match you up with someone perfectly.

Oh, so maybe we do the training and they deem, okay? Yep, skill level and aggression. Corporate boxing people determine who your best fight would be. If they had a time, determine it's you too, then hey. Then, hey, otherwise who else is in the pool? Rando. Oh, Rando. I see Randoes.

I don't want to find a Rando. Taken down. Corporate boxing challenge. This is it, see? Just ran people fighting. That's so funny. But they end up being like great mates. Like, I used to go to the gym.

Oh, nothing bonds you like sport. Fighting each other, punch each other in the face. They haven't posted in three years and their website's no longer active. Oh, well, it might not be a thing anymore. We can start a new one. Anyway, watch this space, guys. Raise money for charity, i.e. Babs. Welcome.

Wake up with Jess and Rowan. In 2026. Something new for breakfast. Do you know, Jess? What do I care if you piss on me? You'll get to know Rowan. Oh, no. Take the Hobbits to Six, Seven.

Shut up, moron. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. That's squawking fatty. And Rowan.

You like what I did it. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Welcome to the working week. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, Ro Ro. How do you do, sir? I'm doing the do good.

You're doing the do good. Friday we had our big luncheon, 70 cookers, joining us for a three-course feed. some beverageinos. Didn't we lunch? You can check out the video. Have you recovered? Is the question. My calves hurt from dancing. I dragged Rowan to have a boogie with me, shy guy. And after about 60 seconds, he went, I'm a DJ. I don't dance. And he just like shimmed off the dance floor. So I just, I went hung back with a couple of people that I apparently live near and I was like,

you know where I live? I was like, I started to talk about it all the time. A lot of people sharing they live near you. I went, as Ron invited all these neighbors. than what we mate. So I just like sauntered on the back, put my arm around one of them and just did the one arm dance. Yeah, you're good at the one arm. The one arm dance.

You're good at the one arm, don't worry. Yeah, I don't normally dance. I normally just DJ so that I don't dance to dance. But there was a moment there. I saw you busting a move with your feet, doing some crazy toe tapen. I was like, everyone was going.

Where's Rowan? Where's Rowan? Everyone wanted to get their hands on the new guy. Everyone was, oh my God. About four different women grabbed me on the bum. Someone asked on Instagram if I was, was gay for pay.

I saw that. And I went, clearly all the training's working. Clearly all the training's working. The same man asked if I was wearing a lufor. He had a lot to say. He was not. Someone's burner, I think.

Maybe Babs is burner. Maybe Babs is just having to laugh. Listen, Bab's getting a bit of a tensi on here. Wearing a lupor, that's the greatest thing I've heard. Where was that on the afternoon? You needed this point. I would have trolling me. That's great.

I could have win cooker on the day. It's actually very funny. Shut up, Shagga. You said I looked good in real life. You did look good, but now I was like a big luf. I got in the car. Ron gave me big ups. I got in the car, Dezo Drive, and he went,

don't you look good? I said, thank you, sweetheart. I said that when you walked out of the car. Pick you up any day. Yeah, I know, but now you're laughing at the lufa comment. Because I think it's great gear. I wish I thought of it. Then I drove her, by the way, I drove her home and she said,

you don't even appreciate you what I'm doing for you. I'm driving you home. And she was winding down the window. I'm winding up, back and forth. And I was like, what are you doing? She was like, I'm picking my toenails and putting them outside the window. I thought that was a pretty nice act of friendship, shy guy. My guy's going, oh, thank you.

Thank you for not leaving them. Because you know what would happen? She would go, why are your nails there? And I go, they're not my nose. She's been picking their toes in your car. What's with the red polish? And then I went to tickle her foot. And she was like, not ticklish.

No? Nothing. No sensitivity in the mouth or foot. And I had the same reaction, shy guy. I said that. I had the same. I meant heat reaction in mouth. Does it matter, mate? Tickling a vibe.

Anyway, Babs, had you pull up after our big lunch? I was very tired. Really? You were doing good work, good mingling. Thanks so much. You were going out with girls later that night, weren't you know? No, I went home and watched TV. Sick.

Addie girl. Did you have a big weekend on the couch watching Homeland? I've actually seen a couple of DMs. People saying, Rowan, you've gotten me hooked on Homeland. as well. Welcome to the show, guys. Yes. No, I didn't watch any homeland actually.

Oh, wow. Are you off it already? I don't know what I was doing. What was I doing? The weekend was a blur. I had one of those weekends that just felt like I was tired the whole time. Yeah, fair enough. But the joys of a Friday event, you've got the whole 48 to recover.

It's so good. I like it as well. Yeah. You know what I do like? Cooker of the Day. Bro. I've been to cool this point, we've done Cooker of the Week. But for Newcastle Food Month, which is around the corner, it's taking over eight.

April. We have got every single day, a night's accommodation at the Crystal Brook. Tick. $250 spending money. Tick. And $250 to spend at Charlestown Square. Every day. Get yourself a new fit, maybe some accessories. There's also some great eateries there.

You just get involved in the show. Call text, DM. You win that at 9 a.m. At the end of every day, we award another prize. How good's that? How good? So on Friday, you could win Cooker of the... Are we still on Cooker of the West?

week though? Nah, no. Friday we just have another day. Okay, yeah, yeah. But Friday, we might have more fuel. I mean, there's a lot to win on the Jess and Rowan program. Oh, maybe not. Should I got to shake his head.

I don't think so far we do. I definitely thought there was more fuel, so I'm right there with you, Jess. Yeah, thank you. We got some time. Anyway, get involved with the show. Should I go by then? If you want to sponsor Free Fuel Friday, get in touch. Oh, that would be nice.

There's a call to action there, so I go. Well done. I don't know who you reach out to, but just to show. Just call Babs. Just call Pabs. Hey. At the lunch, someone asked me how to advertise. I was slinging out sales reps, email,

I was doing business cards. I was doing business. He put some money in my back pocket. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Money in the back pocket, we'll take it. What have we always said, Rowan, we are available for sale. I can be bored.

You want me to read about your osteo? I'll read about your osteo business. Like John said, gay for pay, maybe. By the way, why did he say gay for pay and then no offer? Check the DMs, nothing was in there. You're disappointed. Yeah, because you didn't say, yes, I am. Your husband texted, you go to the screenshot,

he went, Hot air, John. Hot air. I'm like, why is he's right? He's running checks. He can't cash. John, be careful, all right. Rowan will track you down.

Demand payments. He kicks you for a 20. John, you owe me 20 bucks. Big show, big show. We have a lot on to talk about today. Next, we are talking about chicken feet. Getting stolen. Oh dear.

Not the movie. Oh, yes. Chicken run. And happy feet. You've combined two Disney. No, chicken run is a movie. Chicken run and happy feet. I have provided the music.

Yeah, yeah. The movie. Do that next. This is Jess and Rowan. Get involved with the show. How would you like, 04,0008-1-609. You can even just text and say hello, give us a fun joke. Today we are doing Cooker of the Day.

Every day you get a wicked prize. Jess, what is it? It's for Newcastle Food Month. Ro Ro. It is a night stay at the Christopher Kingsley, $250 spending money and $250 to spend with our mates at Charlestown Square. We've already got an early text. Oh, yeah, great.

From our friend Stacey, she said, ha-ha, Jess, Every time you call Row and Row Row, Ro, Ro, Ro, you boat. I can't help it. Good morning, team. Let's get the week done. You know one of my first radio bosses? He was like the big, big boss of the company. One of the other guys was like, come over to Dobbo.

Dobbo's going to give you a nickname. Wow, my God, like initiation. I would have been 22. I went, Dobbo. He went, what's your name, mate? I went, Rowan. He went, what do you do here, Rowan? And I went, oh, I do this, this.

And he went, hmm. I'm going to call you boats. Wait, what? And the guy working, Ego was like, Boats, that's brilliant. I went, why boats? He goes, geez, you row the boats. Hang on, so, not singular.

Boats. Ro, row, row your boats. I went boat. I went boats. Plural boats. Headphones back on. Kept working. Thanks, Dobo.

Cheers. Boats. I don't hate boats, Jess, and. boats in the morning. Did it? Did it? Catch on? Did other people call your boats?

No one called me boat. Sometimes when I say, hello, I'm Rowan. They go, Ron. I go, yeah, like the boat. You're Rowan the boat. See, no, no, it's confusing because you're a Rahan. You're a H. No wonder people get really up in their knickers in the twist.

It does happen. Hey, big news out of China that's not bat related. Thank God. Thank God. Or pangolin. Like to do an investigation on the pangolin if you missed it. That might have been due to COVID. Never mind. 130 tons of chicken feet worth $300,000 stolen from a warehouse from tin shoe way.

I think you've nailed that. I think I nailed that, guys. That's a lot of chicken feet. I understand there's a lot of value there, but how you move and that much tonnage of chicken feet? We need a lot of flatbed trucks. Yeah, about 130 tons. So about 300,000 Hong Kong dollars. It's not dollars, is it? What are they doing in Hong Kong? I think it is the HKD.

The HKD? I think it is a dollar. I thought this was a Japanese story. Dong? I thought it was really in Yemen. You're thinking a dong in Vietnam. Nice one, thank you. But now Shai guy's thrown a spanner in the works.

He thought it was Japan. So where are we, Rowan? Can you confirm? Are you sure it's China? Oh, well, you know. Because you've now also said Hong Kong dollar. Oh, well, Shagar, you know, Lafou Shan Road. You know, that is.

Oh, boats knows his geography. Come on, boats. I swim there on my boat. Babs, you did the sheet. contribute? Thought it was in Hong Kong. Yeah, but, but he's in China or Japan.

Well, Hong Kong's its own thing. No, Hong Kong's its own thing. I don't know. Hong Kong is its own entity. Wait, is Hong Kong its own country? Correct. Yeah, and a city. Like Singapore.

No way. Yeah, it's like Singapore. Don't you be lump in Hong Kong in? I didn't know that. Hong Kong's cool as. Hong Kong is cool as. So April last year, she ordered 14 containers of chicken feet from Brazil. Who's she?

Oh, some lady. The woman. The woman. There's no name, mate. There's actually no name. You've just launched it into sheet. There's literally no name on the sheet. It's a district in Hong Kong, okay?

Tintuai. Okay, so Babs, come in here because you wrote Japan on the board and it's freaking me out. So now's China? That's on me. That's not about it. I'll own that one. What do we do it. What a mess for a Monday.

It's feeling racist, guys. Let's get back on track. They're all separate things. They're all separate things. Three months later, a container mat. Well, they couldn't all go over. There was a... One woman wanted that much.

chicken feet? I hope they got flagged by customs. That's too much. She's making a lot of broth. There was influencer outbreak in Brazil. So that's where she ordered them from. I had to wait. And then when she wanted them to get shipped, that many, 130 tons was missing. I'll tell you what.

For my limited knowledge of Brazil, I didn't know they were a major exporter of chicken feet. I didn't know either. Brazil? Why Brazil doing chicken feet? I don't know. I thought we're in Hong Kong. Well, she got, listen, shy guys.

She was ordering the chicken feet from Brazil. Yep. There was something about influenza. Yeah, because they couldn't get it from Brazil because everyone had the flute. Then send it over to Hong Kong. Oh, so that's why it's in demand. That's why it's been pinched. Yeah, it's like fuel.

Yeah, yes. Like the fuel. We've got one crisis. Do you reckon their version, the Hong Kong, Karl Stefanovic, is doing a deep-dive podcast on the chicken feet crisis? Oh, my God. That's what's more important. Someone called Carl Dan.

This is Jess and Rowan. Newcastle Food Month, Australia's most expansive food festival. All thanks to the legends over there. $250 to spend just to enjoy over the Food Month venues. Have a one-night stay at Crystal Book Kingsley. Oh my God, breakfast is too, parking. Parking's really important with these prices. Oh, bro.

I didn't know. Brecky was included. Brecky's included. Of course it is. It's a five-star hotel. Dinner at the Roundhouse then. Oh, my gosh. And $250 to spend at Charles Town Square.

Get yourself a few. it, go out for dinner. My whole outfit today from Charlestown Square, actually. If you would like a jeans recommendation. Nice one. Oh, why are you there? Where is it from? Thrills.

Thrill. Great dinner. Oh, I didn't know you're such a cool girl. I'm so cool. I just had to get Babbs to sign off on the tuck. I've tucked to the top. What you mean? A tucked.

A tucked. Is that thrills as well? The top one, three. No, the top is to Cuba. Are you okay. But I've tucked. And I didn't know. You're not allowed to tuck?

I don't know. I don't know. She's the cool one. And she said it. It's good. It's nice. But every time Babbs gives me a, it's not even a compliment, gives me an affirmative,

I never quite believe her, because I don't know if she'd actually tell me the truth. Like, I don't think Babs is looking me in the eye going, no, you look like an idiot. I think she's scared of you, though, to be fair. So she would tell you the real, the real thing. So do you think she would tell me the, no, if she's...

No, if I didn't like it, I just wouldn't say anything. Yes, that's what I'm saying. So lie by proxy. Great. That's what I'm saying. So if I said, does this look good? Would you actually say no? I saw that you finally did a love.

big post on your Instagram and put Jess number one. And I went, oh, I noticed that too. And I went, oh, right. And I wish I could enjoy it more, but I 100% bullied that out of her, Rowan. It wasn't. The first thing I thought. I know. I think, are we being so for real right now?

We're being so for real, Rowan. You don't understand my elation at seeing myself in a grid post on Cool Babs. But to be number one, it's like I go into number one on the speed doll. I couldn't believe it. But here's the thing. You wouldn't have been anything other than number one. because if you're number two, we would, oh, we would have heard about that. Because of the carry, I want, hey, hey.

You put me 16th. It deserved a conversation, all right? We're being marketed as best mates, and I'm 16th. Hey, you're in there, okay? I lost out to like three dogs. I'm like, you didn't even know those dogs. And a baby. And I'm not fighting with Louis Casher.

He deserved to be higher than me. Just saying, the three dogs that you just saw on the street would have thought Jayside. Were there street dogs on there? There was a street dog. You didn't even remember what we did. I don't even remember what was in there. Let me hunt these street dogs. I swear you had some street dogs.

Well, there was some random person carrying one of the dog. It would be standard for me to have a street dog on me. Yes. You were filming a person carrying the street dog, though. So maybe it was a friend of yours. Is that not a street dog? Was it someone's dog? I can't even fight it.

Maybe I've just, maybe I've actually just. That's how deep in the carousel I am. Yeah, I've just gone, who cares? I just moved it on. Oh, there it is. Let's have a look. Where's the street dog? Oh, it's a friend with a, no, that's not a street dog.

That's a house dog. I don't know that, friend. Don't I know everyone you know? Yeah. Oh my God. I put Taylor eating a banana before you. Yeah, oh no. Oh my God.

So Babs? I put a photo of me pretending like I had a big night before Jess. Yeah, you look high. And I still was lower. Just getting the boundaries of what I can't say on the road. I still go. You can say that? Oh, can you say that?

Yeah. He only looks at. He not actually is. Oh, he's always looking at. Maybe I have always. Hi. This is Jess and Rowan. You know when you're saying.

a study research assignment and you just think, I hope you didn't spend too much money on that. Like we could have channeled those funds and the scientific minds behind that research study maybe into something more helpful for society. You tell me if you get anything out of this, Rowan, all right? Because this is out of Japan.

I trust the Japanese. This is actually out of Japan. If you've been with us in 6am, there's been a lot of confusion about origins of schools. Could be from Italy. Oh, don't play the Tarantella for me. I'll start jiving. We're in Japan at the Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute International.

Okay. Hell of a place. Sick. They have put a lot of effort into studying what your walking style says about your emotional state. Good one. People who are angry swing their arms a lot. Okay, makes sense. People who are sad, slouch.

Yep, makes sense. People who are happy. Happy, bounce. Bit bouncy. A bit bouncy. An individual's gait can reveal their emotional state. Oh, from a distance, enabling social decision making. That's what I think they're trying to get to.

You can clock someone coming from a mile away. You might not be able to see their facial expression. Maybe you can't hear if they're saying anything to you. But based on how they're coming at you, you can decide whether to run away or engage or maybe approach with a cuddle. Because they will be sad. Shall I go, can you go out, walk out to Babs right now and then come back in the room as one of these emotional states? Just let's have a guess. We'll try and describe you.

Jess and I can keep talking about it. Because this is kind of how they did the study, Rowan. They got actors. Don't put anything on. To channel an emotional state and then put the CGI dots on them and just showed those movements to people. And those people guessed. Oh, that guy looks angry. Yeah, that guy looks uninterested.

You just found a way to send him away. of slouched, but kind of like, off it. I think he looks, I think he looks bored. How, Batsky? Can me for a sec? Your emotional state, shy guy, can we guess? Look, he's very slow and measured. Yeah, you look right. Rowan logged, disinterested, I logged bored.

They're the same thing. Oh, Bab. Not necessarily. Look at that girl over there. She's walking quite whimsical. She does give whimsy with her. You're kind of bouncing a bit. I don't think you mean to, but you are bouncing.

Do you know what she's also not doing? Not swinging her arms at all, which is, what? Extremely weird and straight. Like this. Just kind of stiff. Yeah, stiff. But I also... It's kind of the opposite of whimsy.

It kind of gives me, like you're excited. Don't want to move your arms too much. Oh, because if she did, she would burst through, maybe take an eye out. Now I'm going to overanalyze how I'm walking all the time. Well, you should, because apparently we should be reading a lot into it according to the Japanese. So anyway, Shaigo, what was your emotional state?

He wasn't even thinking about it. Remember I said he wasn't interested. Just blank. Just blank. Okay. The Japanese didn't stay. study blank. So maybe we could put him forward as a test subject.

How's your state, Babs, obviously? Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good today. A bit blank, okay. Why don't you walk outside real quick, Jess, and then come back, and then we'll see if we can all decide, see what it is. What is that? Okay. She'll walk in like that Telstraad.

You know, like this. Like she's flight facilities. Here she comes. Oh. Very fast. She's in a rush. She's furious. Furious.

This is Jess and Rowan. Five green flags to look out for when you're dating someone new. Think of me of like the love, doctor, or something like that. Oh, here we go. Think about me as the love doctor, number one. Yes, doctor. They are clear about their intentions. Yes, doctor.

You don't need to leave a first date and you don't really know where you stand. Don't have another one. Why would you? You know what they want. You know where they're going. Even if they just want a little fling, least you know what they want. It's a green flag. I appreciate that.

wrong all my single friends, though. No one knows how to say what they want. Oh, that's their fault. Communication even with men, mid-30s, early 40s. It's their fault. It is their fault. You've got to be clear. Number two, they are consistent.

That's a big one. Hand in hand with clarity around their intentions. That's what's important. Another really big green flag is when you're dating someone with consistency. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. They're not consistent. I don't want to feel hot and cold.

I only want to feel hot, am I right? Yeah. Like anyone can be present from the get-go. But if it's, you know, going over, you know, it's easy for the first few weeks, but like true interest and intention shouldn't waver. You know what I'm saying? You know that saying, if he wanted to, he would. Wanted to he would.

If he wanted to he would, ladies, take it from me. Wanted to he would. They take accountability for their shortcomings. Oh, no, sorry, Rowan, you've lost me here. They should. What world are we living in? Do you think every second bloke has gone to therapy? No.

That is not realistic. I'm sorry that, no, you've lost me. Well, it's to look for us. It's not a must-have. Oh, it'd be nice to have, not a must-have. Yeah, okay. All right, hang on, let me just go. Open with their shortcomings.

Come on. What out-of-touch person wrote this. Babs, you've been on the single market only for a little while. Have you ever met a single boy who is open and honest about his shortcomings? It's just shaking her head, not even using. She's eating, I think. No, sorry, I've got my mouth full of toes. I appreciate one.

But the answer's no. Thank you. Okay, thanks, that's, thank you. You can feel calm and safe with them. Oh, okay, you got me back on side. You know what I'm saying? That's important. Back on side.

I want to feel safe. Absolutely. Nothing sexier. No one knows how to take accountability for their shortcomings unless you are, confident in yourself. I'm going back to three now because now I'm a little bit. There's a lot to dissect on three. But I just think if you can go, hey, listen.

But also, ladies, especially ladies, because folks are idiots. Look, I've gone hard on the men there, so you dish it back. To be fair, I think some women should be a bit more open with their shortcomings too, if I'm perfectly honest. But mostly it's men because they're idiots. Anyone you've got in mind. I've got a few. Don't worry about that. But yes, ladies.

If they keep apologising, they suck. Let's just leave. You know what I'm saying? If they keep apologising. How many chances are we giving? I love that. Be open with the shortcomings. I'm a cheap skate and I don't know how to respond to a text.

All right. Well, that might actually be a problem because I don't know how we're meant to progress as a couple. Yeah, if your shortcomings don't fit into you, just leave. Anyway. My shortcomings are I don't like you. Okay. Number five is a really important one. It's the last one.

They can regulate their emotions. When I was younger, not really. If I was inconvenienced and frustrated, Trust me, you probably heard about it. And I was an arson. That was being open with your shortcomings. Oh my God. Winning!

I'm the laughing, my friend. This is Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, and playing this morning is Rowan. Hello to you, Rowan. There you go, Mike. Yeah, good Mark. Roe, did you confirm with Babs you were a Rowan with a W, not a Rowan with a H? Correct, yes.

Rw-A-N. Have you ever heard of the stinky tree, Rowan? That apparently there's a Rowan tree that stinks. No, I haven't heard of that, no. Maybe it's the Tasmanian thing. Never mind, moving on. And how do you spell that tree? H or W?

I think it's a H. It could be a H. Rowan, what do you want our 10 grand for? I'll probably put some accessories on my yute. Do it up a bit more. Accessories on the yute. I love that. The letter you're going to work with, my friend, is FF4 Ford.

All right? Nice. Right, no worries. Your time will start after the first question. Let's rock. Starting with the letter F, we need you to name. An animal. Fish?

A US state. Florida. An adjective. Pass. A drink. Santa. A fabric. Pass.

A rom-com. Pool house. A school subject. Pass. Something round. A band? Um, I don't know. A colour of laughing.

It's like, Rowan was timing himself. He's like, oh, I'm 29 seconds. I don't know. I'm out. No. No, no. I love how quick... Yeah, good on your, mate.

You got to do it. I love how quickly you passed on adjective. Pass. Yeah, just let's move on. Yeah, pass. Could have fabulous fair. Fabric. Could have felt.

Fleece, maybe. school subject. What did you have? He's got something there. He passed it. No, he passed it. No, my bad. French film studies.

Something round, Frisbee, band, food fighters. And colour, could have had Pusher. Sorry, Roe. Sorry, Rowan. No accessories on our dollar. But thanks for joining the show. Keep building it up, bro. Thanks, guys.

Have a good day. Thank you, mate. Back again, eight o'clock for $10,000. And next, you have an alternative for us. And your friends? You know when you catch up? In adulthood, it's always like, should go for coffee?

Go for coffee? Yeah. Go for coffee? Well, I have a much better idea for you. All right. Talk about it next. This is Jess and Rowan. How do you like to catch up with friends?

If you haven't seen a buddy for a while, what's your go to? Oh, I caught up with a friend actually who just broke up with his girlfriend. Oh, okay. So you were the shoulder to cry on? Saturday morning and we got a coffee. And I said to him, would you like me to bring some of my leftover tier? Ramasu, because you'd be crying. And he went, I hate how much I like that.

Did you bring him? I can't believe you had some. No, I wanted it. Tira Massu, the ultimate crying dessert. You'd be crying, baby, yeah. Oh, well, yes. He's all right, though. He's crazy.

But that's exactly what I thought you were going to say, my friend, you go for coffee. Shine, guy, you don't drink coffee, but even you, I know when you catch up with your mates, you'll sit there. There's other options. At a cafe. Yeah, you get some. Yeah, you get some. But for the.

hatch up, that seems to be the premise we've all just fallen into. We'll go for coffee. Maybe a meal or a drink. It's a drink stuff. Because if you're not doing booze, you're doing coffee. Exactly. Well, I caught up with a friend last week, Rowan. I didn't want to go for coffee. I'd had my coffee here. I don't like to double up.

I've got enough energy in the tank. You just do one coffee a day. I pretty much do one coffee a day. If you see me doing a double, bro, I'm struggling. I've had a bad night. Oh, yeah. So I say to my friend, He goes, you want to catch up. I'm going to go get a coffee.

I went, no. But I do want to see you. Okay. So how do you feel about running some errands with me? I had a couple of things on my to-do list, Ro Roe. You're not loving it? No, no. No, no.

That screams I'm lonely. Oh, that's not what I would have thought. That's an interesting perspective. No, it's just, I need to do these things. Yeah. And I don't want to do a coffee. So let's tag along. We still got to do.

chat, we still spent good time together, and he just helped me pick out a light for my en suite. And then he came with me and he helped me pick up a dress, the luf address that I wore to the long lunch. So there was multiple in and out of the

car, intimate setting. Did they have errands as well? Did you help them with their errands? Now, that is a very decent question. Rowan, I didn't ask if he had errands. Hey, we'd love

see you. I don't have time to see you. You just fit in with my life. I do have time. I did have time. I could have done the errands after, hey man, we finish at 10. I had time. But I just didn't want to sit there and have a coffee. So I thought, a bit of two birds, one stone. I got stuff to do. You follow me around. Would you like to come along? He said yes. Do I know? You do know. Is he short and bald? Yes, he is. But he was a great company. He helped me actually identified something with the en suite light that I hadn't considered. So it ended up being a really productive hour and a half and I ticked a bunch of stuff off. And I just wanted to put it out there.

If you're like me and just don't want to get a coffee or maybe you're not drinking, you don't want to sit there and have a margarita, just say to you and mate, I've got some stuff I've got to do. But that's a nice caveat. Why don't we do two things on my to-do list and then we'll do two things on your to-do list. I don't know. I really feel like a brought us closer together. Would you have hung out for an hour and a half anyway or it would have just been like a 45 minute catch-up? Oh, that's a good question.

No, I think it would have been because coffee, I'd get a bit hungry. Maybe I would have ordered some food. So you end up sitting there was a lot cheaper as well. Didn't actually end up buying anything. I don't see myself running my friend's errands though for a catch-up. What if you got a couple of errands ticked off as well? Like I needed to get my phone screen fixed. Like we could have gone and done that yesterday and then walked around, maybe picked up your dry clean.

and then circle back, picked up my phone. The only way I would have done that. You seem like a bit dry cleaner guy. When I lives to live in Sydney, I used to get someone to wash all my clothes. It was the best. All your clothes. When, three T-shirts at a pair of Mondys.

If you had said... You're sending them down to Tasmania for your mum to wash them. She sends them back. And washing him because there's no electricity down there. She's got that, you know, that it looks like a shutter on a window. That's what they wash. You know, we like Beauty and the Beast. Living in Switzerland.

Grindlewald, mate. What are we talking about? What is this? Anyway. If you were saying, like, I have to go and do this, and I had to also do it. I go, oh, I got to do that too. So it has to be the same task. So we both have to renew our passports.

Or if you're like, I'm going to go to Westfield. I go, oh, actually, I've got to pick up some, I actually need to get some new. Shoes resold. Whatever. Yeah. That's an errand you would do. Oh, okay. So that's a nice caveat.

Look, I only did this once. And I'm enjoying that this is now a way to elevate. Would you like to run a task in this? general area. This has evolved. This has evolved. Are you on board now? It sounded, didn't show it?

It sounded very much like, I got to do it. If you want to see me, you've got better come along. Get into my schedule. Pardon me, I didn't mean it to be like that. But if on the off chance, you both have to get your bar sport renewed. I can kind of see the application. You see, and because it's not about being bored, it's about feeling productive and still getting the good catch up.

Yeah. Anyway, I thought it was a great way to spend time as an adult. Yeah. And, as I said, much more economical. I also know your friend very well who complains about never having any time. So maybe if he does his own stuff and not hangs around with you, where you're doing your area until he's like more time. I picked him up from his workplace.

I said, do you've got to go back eventually. I've got nothing to do. They text me out and going, oh, just some busy never catch up my mates. What's going on? This is Jess and Rowan. There's an Aussie bloke. Dividing the people on TikTok. Would you like to hear what he had to say?

I would love it. So I live with two girls and they want me to put the toilet seat down to make it easier for them to use. but why don't they lift it up to make it easier for me to use? And what's the reason? I just want to know. Yeah. It's a bit rage, baity. It is a bit rage, baby, isn't it?

But we should discuss it. What's your stance, Rowan? My stance straight away, before hearing about the etiquette expert, is it could go both ways, actually, I feel. It could go, I make sure that I'm not weeing on it. So I've lifted it up. And put it there, then we, then leave. And then when it's the lady's time, they bring it down, sit in it, we leave.

So when I come back to do it, I lift it up, one for one, baby. Shivalry's dead. Is it what we're saying? It's official. Shivore he's dead. This is a toilet seat. Who gets so caught up on the toilet seat? My big thing is, I don't think the lid should ever stay up.

So everyone should be bringing it all the way down. I don't want, I don't, seeing an open mouth of a toilet. I never shut the main lid. Really? See, that's my... That's where I land on it. Lids should always come down. So we're all touching it at all times.

So there's no real one or the other. Everyone's doing the same bits. Everyone is doing the same thing. For this bloke, though, majority rules. He said he lives with two women. He's outnumbered. He's outnumbered. Come on.

Yeah, the etiquette expert declares answer. It takes one second. It takes one second. Is this etiquette expert saying from both parties? both sexes. The person using the toilet should leave it in a clean, considerate state for the next person, and that includes the seat.

That's what the etiquette person said. If you ask me, that sounds like they're sitting on a fence. It does sound like they're sitting on a fence. We'd love to get your take. 048-8-1069. Hey, maybe you're a lady married to a dude and you've got three sons. You are outnumbered, but how have you raised the family? Are we putting seat down?

I think it just looks better as well. Have you ever looked at the underside of your toilet seat? My God, if you are not vigilant on that, that's where stuff starts to pool and stuff starts to grow, shy guy. It's foul. Put it down. I mentioned said fence, but does say here, the next person who comes in touch with the lid or the seat after you've used it, which creates significant hygiene implications. So now this fence sitter is suggesting that only the men should have to deal with these consequences.

Because you're already grots. So why don't you just touch the disgusting toilet seat and leave it for me? You think shy guy's a grot? No, shy guy's an exception to the rule. You though, sir. Sweet little lady. What are you do in your house? Because it's 50-50.

Your sweet partner, Lucy, is a lady. When I remember. Do you leave the seat down for her? Sometimes I try and just angle the hip. Don't lift it up at all. Oh, so you don't lift it up at all. Yeah, but they'll have a quick look and see if I... It's a risky place.

I hit it? How hard is... That's how I live. Fast and loose, baby. It's how I live? Rowan, how hard is it to just get it in? Why do you need to lift it up? It's only a couple of centimetre diameter that you are free.

Being up when you lift the lid. Why is it hard? Educate me. Which is why you probably should lift it up. When you have the seat down, it's a lower, it's a smaller hole. But not by that much. It makes a difference. How thick is your seat?

Oh, seat. I mean, it's like. The toilet seat, not your ass. Pretty normal. Massive, bro. But I find if you are one foot forward compared to one foot back, changes the diameter big time. Changes everything.

Let alone you had a couple of beverage. You know, going for a 2 a.m., wee, we? Let alone it's a 2 a.m. Yeah. And I've got to make sure I'm, look, I'm trying not to open my eyes as to not ruin the sleep. Why don't you just? So I'm kind of just like, I think I'm here.

And all of a sudden I've pissed on the wall and what's happening? Might as well call me Fido. Can't you just sit? Why don't a boy stand? I like a sit. Why don't you just sit and we eliminate this whole conversation? Sometimes I sit and I go, hmm, should I poo? I can't be bothered.

That's why. That's why. If I stand up, I know I'm not going to poo. Mel has text us. I'm proud of you. Thank you, brother. Mel has text us. Hey, Mel.

All you need is to do some research on what comes out of your toilet when you flush with the lid open. It will solve the argument instantly. Always flush with the lid closed. It brings everything down. Again, we eliminate this conversation. Thank you, Mel. I don't think there's any argument, Mel, as to whether or not the lid, it's better with the lid up or down. It's more the seat.

I agree. I agree. Shia. Great name has said Considering guys get pre on the bottom of the seat It looks gross if you're the next person to the toilet Yeah, it looks great. Pre? Did she mean we?

Oh, right, right, right, right. I thought that was a guy terminology. Someone has said, Sam, Sam has said, I'm a guy, I always put the lid down after seeing an episode of Mythbusters. So much more bacteria swirling around here. It's like those videos when you see someone sneeze with one of those cameras.

It looks like that when you flush the plate. Heather has said, don't be a grot. I've got 14, 13, and 4-year-old sons. And they all put the seat down, lid down. Otherwise, poo particles fly around. Everyone very aware of the poo particle thing.

It could be a safety issue for the girls when they fall in. I always find the fall-ins crazy. I have done that. Have you ever? Yes. Does your bum touch the water? Oh, my God.

Yeah, I've folded it in like... What's that? What's a... Like a waffle maker, like a charcoal maker. Like a charcoal maker. Like a taco. It was buzzer. I had to call for my partner.

We're in India as well. I had to call for my partner to like, wake me out. Oh, India. So mid-poo waffle, you'd started not start. It was not great. Rowan. Yes. Oh my gosh.

If there's any reason you should do it, it's to stop the fall in. Yes, stop your partner. If you have a household of blokes, even then if you do need to go sit down one time. Again, a lot of people messaging, the germs go all over the whole bathroom, put the seat and the lid down. But then you have to shower if you fall in. It's a whole thing. Oh, it's a whole thing. But your mate on the TikTok, that's just rage baiting.

This is Jess and Rowan. My feud with the postman. Said it before, but I'll say it again. Basically, the way I park my car is right in front of the letterbox. It's kind of a letterbox in the middle. It's kind of one of those letterbox that's stuck in the brick fence. Yeah, it's built in. made a hole.

But I parked my car there. One day, a couple of months ago, he saw me getting into the car. He said, mate, would you mind not parking your car? He had said, would you mind? Parking your car in front of a letterbox

because, you know, it's hard to get in. I was like, but you just put the letters in, so it's fine. No, but I don't want to get off my bike and just put them in and keep it going. Because are you like up on the footpath,

a bit? You're a one way. It's a two way. But remember the one time I was on the footpath. that lady brought the one tonner down the street and ripped the car in half. So I have to be, right? Can you?

Was stuck with a shitty have-all for like bloody however long. So it doesn't matter where you went. You could be two metres further up. You're still going to be blocking the park for this bloke. Basically. I could go a little further down. But your stance was my house, my rules. Yeah.

It's not your letter box. Yeah. And then what happened? He started piffing your letters. Started taking the letters, putting a rubber vans of them and throwing at them. at the house. Like at some sort of protest. So up comes Friday.

I'm waiting for heaps and stuff. I had a couple of packages coming. That was birthday week. Birthday week. So I bought some stuff. And so I go, I open the door, lock it, turn to my right. To go to the car, I see the postman coming down the road. On his little trike.

On his bike, mate. And I go, let's hot foot it to the car as to not speak to him. You're in a good mood. You're about to go to a listener event. You don't want to be. You're looking sharp. New sunny's on. I'm feeling great.

He'd sprayed your Delta perfume. Best smell in Australia. I unlock the car. Get in quick. He drives past the car. Go beauty. He's not for me. Oh, wait.

He's doing a U-turn. Oh, no. Oh, no. This guy is not. He's not coming back to me, surely. Pulls up to my car as if he's a cop. Gives you the tap on the window? Yes.

Yes. No. Yes. Knocked it. And I went, uh-oh. So I'm pretending like I'm looking for the window and I'm like, this is going to go one or two ways. This guy is, I think going to scream at me.

And I'm going to have to tell him to pull his head in and just, and I'm going to have to meet him with that energy. I wouldn't have thought that's on your bingo card for a Friday. Me either. But I was like, you know, what I got places to be. I'm just going to tell this guy to, oh my God, and move on, right? Because I've got to go pick up Jess for the lunch. If I never get a letter again, so be it.

Bite me, you leave him on the corner. Whatever, it's a really, it's a bad letter. They'll call me anyway. You know, who cares? Post-y. Anyway, he rolls around Roxamorinda, and I go, here, man. He goes, yeah, good-day, man, how are you?

It's literally like I've been pulled over. License and registrations. I go, what are you doing? Hot day to date, he goes, ah, it's not too bad, champion. Calls me champion, but in a nice, older bloke kind of way. So not, like, not in the condescending. No, not really. And he reaches in, pulls out a package.

So is he reaching into his shirt? Where are you miming? He's a big, you know, he's a big, packed thing. I've seen a poston before. He was but he pulling something out of his bosom. Reaches this massive package out. I had my whoop bands in there.

I went, I got a package for me. He went, absolutely. Handed it through my car. I went, oh, I said, how's this for service, Mr. Postman? You are the best. Did you call him Mr. Postman? Nice respect from you. And he went, that's what, it's what we do, mate.

He says, it's what we do here. Best service possible. Sorry, is this the same bloke? Are you sure it's the same posty? Same bloke. So now I'm like, is he, is this like an olive branch? Or is he just forgotten? Is this some sort of sick game he's playing with me?

And I go, oh, thank you, mate. I'll be waiting for that. Need it. Yeah, this band stinks. I got to swear. And he goes, hey, by the way, I'm like, oh, no. He's going to talk about letterbox. He goes, mate, um, can you actually get your letters out of the letterbox?

Because they kind of pile up in there. And I go, oh, mate, well. I go, yeah, well, when I get them and open them, mate, then the fines are real and then I'll have to actually pay them. So I don't want to go. You know, it's, it's just kind of hard to put letters in there when there's too many letters in there. You've got more posts to come, but you're not clearing it out. So now we've got another issue with how you're handling your letterbox. I thought, why don't know, have a little bit of fun here?

And I said, well, what do you do when the letterbox is full? He goes, haven't you seen me throw the letters at your house? I said, I thought you were mad at me. He goes, well, it's not easy, but if you don't mind, I went, I'll get letters out, thanks, mate. You have a great day, mate, and drove off. Thanks, champion. Oh, so it's been your fault this whole time. Well, I think it's been my feud in my own head this whole time.

Yes, he's just trying to do his job, best service in Australia. Yeah, he did it. Had his legionnaires hat on that went over his shoulders. Of course, safety first. Handed it through the window. That's amazing. So, everyone messages, we've got a lot of messages about the postmen. We're cool.

He's actually a great guy. I need to do better, which is the story in my life. We probably could have worked that out. This is Jess and Rowan. I'm actually worried, Rowan. I'm actually worried because something we said on this program, about a fortnight ago, is now the crux of a $27 million lawsuit, okay? Yep.

We shared some information. There was an asterisk on the word information. That came out of a podcast called the One. 54 podcast where the guest and the hosts were talking about the very famous song from the Lion King, the 1994, the Arsevenia, you know, the big song that everyone had. Ah, Savania. And this is what was said on the podcast, which we played on this show and had a bit of a chuckle about. Yeah, what does it mean? It means, Luke, there's a lion.

Oh, my God. You're joking. That is not what that means. That is not what that means. That's exactly what it means. It means look, there's a lion. Oh my God. So that clip from that podcast, millions of views.

It absolutely went viral right around the world. Yeah. It landed in our lap. Shocked me when I heard it. Now, that dude is a comedian called Learnmore John Arcee. Nice one. Now, yes, he's a comedian. Liar then, he lies.

The guy who composed the song, he goes by Lebo, He's a Grammy award-winning composer. Yep. He's suing that bloke because he is saying you have misrepresented the song. That is absolutely not what it means. And it is not clear you are doing comedy. He's basically getting in for defamation, trade libel and tortuous interference with prospective economic advantage. Apparently, it's violation of something called the Land.

Anthem Act. He's presented this as authoritative fact, not comedy, and in doing so, he mocked the chance cultural significance with exaggerated imitations. It actually means all hail the king. We all bow in the presence of the king. It does not mean, which one's which. Look, there's a lion. Oh, my God.

Lebo M is seeking a jury trial and $27 million in damages, Rowan. He wouldn't even get 27 grand from a crime. comedian. I'm not sure where the 27 million comes into it. It's obviously with the cultural issues. I appreciate the damage emotionally and all that. I don't know where this bloke's getting 27 million from. It's not like Disney's going to pay because they had nothing to do with it, the comedian

making this joke. But yeah, so that little funnies on the tiki-tock stemming from a pod has really... We reported on his false information. So we can't be liable because we were told... That from him That our defence So are we Yeah bro

So if Lebo M comes for us We say nah We just Shared the funnies Which is what we do here We share the funnies It's the daily mail model Where they just say

Such and such said this They don't go We are reporting They go Oh this is such And you're absolutely right We just said they said this We didn't do the translation

No we just were Like we just said The ha ha ha What he was reporting Is funny Absolutely You're not liable That's how

That's how that's how I'd go out With everything I know you joke, but I don't have 27 million. Like, I know, I've got a nice renter happening. I barely have $27. I don't have $27 million, all right? I can't, I can't front this bill.

Did you just brag about your car? It's not even yours. We get it, bro. It was free. Like, it's fine. That's what I'm saying. Let's remind everyone, we don't have $27 million to chip in for this case when this bloke gets sued.

Well, you can give him your house. That'd be close. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks. Oh, I played at 7 o'clock for a solid four. I think we got Jeb. Yeah. And playing this morning is Karen.

Hello to you, my dear. Good morning, Jess and rowing. How are you guys? Couldn't be better, babe. Logged 4 at 7. Karen, tell us you're going to go all the way to 10, baby? All the way to 10, absolutely. Good vibe here, Jess.

Yeah, very good vibe. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Well, I started holidays today, so I think I'll just go and book flights to the Wits Sundays instead of going in there, That's what we need. Oh my God. I'm sure it's beautiful there too, but, hey, Sunday's a good. Whitehaven Beach, Karen. It's got your name on it.

Absolutely. We are going to get you there in about 30 seconds time. You got a solid letter as well, girlfriend. You're going to work with S. S for sunshine, headed your way. Beautiful. All right. You're ready to rock?

Absolutely. Let's do it. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter S. We need you to name. A drink. Samosa. A shoe brand.

Pass. A band? Killing Heidi. That's not it. A stationary item. Stapler. An athlete. Pass.

A zodiac sign. Sagittance. A flower. Sunflower. A board game. Scrabble. A boy's name. Sam.

An animated character. Scooby-Doo. A shoe brand. Skeaches. An athlete. Man. What? We're not skeeches either.

Man, you. Where the bloody hell did you pull killing Heidi from? I have no idea. What are you talking about? To be fair, you started with Samosa, which is an Indian pastry. You met mimosa. That's what I thought. So we were, we were.

Oh, my God. What a delight, though. What an absolute delight. That's so funny. Oh, Karen. You weren't like a good player, but. You're on those two little stumbles. Yes, Kaz.

Oh, hey, listen, write Karen's name down. If we ever get Killing Heidi tickets, we're giving them to her. Absolutely. Is that your favorite band, Karen? All that's it. No. Killing Heidi. Shit.

That's not a bit. Send you on to Killy Haight with a couple of samosas, if you don't mind. What a day. Oh, God. Sorry, Kaz. All right, I've had my phone. Oh, it's quite all right. You got a lot there.

You really did. And she came back. One, two, three, four, five. That's six. You answered eight. Well done, Karen. Oh, Karen. Okay.

Yeah. Good for you. Are you going to tell us today, guys? Yeah, you too. Good on you. You enjoy your two weeks off, girlfriend. That was fantastic. I could tell her a couple, but that takes away the five.

You could, but you're right. You're right. Um, speak you're fun. Dumb injuries. We're going to talk about them next. Good on you, Karen. He's S. Sonny Fedora.

Like killing hiding. I'm doing it. This is Jess and Rowan. People are sharing the dumbest ways they've accidentally hurt themselves. A Reddit user on only row 2432. Thank you. That's a username, sorry. Credit where credit is due.

Oh, okay. Said, what are your dumb injuries? Here's a couple here. Yesterday, I sliced my finger open with a spoon. Yuck. How does one do that with a spoon? It's a dumb injury. That's a very sharp spoon.

Chips my front tooth, shaking a can of spray paint. I've thrown my neck out by towel drying my hair. Twice. Yeah, that's fair. I got a lot of weight in my head with the extensions sewn in. I can appreciate that. I bloody pulled my neck muscle head banging at our lunch on Friday. I got home.

I went, why am I in so much pain? You were getting down. I was trying to flip the extensions. That's good. Oh. Hang on. Yeah, careful. Careful.

Someone says here, shopping cart surf, broke a leg. Yeah, well, that you deserve that. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. Well, you know, that's kind of what we're asking. I was talking to my boyfriend in high school, didn't see the wall jutting out, and smack right into it. Lost my dignity. And my boyfriend.

Oh, my God, he dumped her. Fair enough. Yeah. Oh, my God, she walks into walls. Gross. I can't see a future with you. This is giving Jess. I've once had a bump on my forehead.

for days because I was trying to do the worm. It feels like I think you would do. Rowan, I'm 34, about to be 35, and on my bucket list, backflip. And any time I see a sort of bouncy surface, Lucia, my two-year-old starting gymnastics this week. Get her to do it. I reckon I'm going to start. Nah.

I'm jealous. I want to start learning backflip. You don't have a, you don't have the backflip brain. Excuse you? I don't think. That's like the rudest thing you've ever said to me. I don't think. You think you're going to.

You didn't get a backflip, what, on a trampoline or just on ground? No, I want to do, you know, like gymnastics places have the bouncy floor. Bouncy floor? Yeah. And sometimes I go to the trampoline park. I thought I start with the trampoline and then work up to the bouncy floor and then I could do it on. I don't have, maybe I'm just projecting because I don't think I have it in me to do the backflip. No off.

Okay. Now that's just, I am live. Your what? Lithe. What's that word? What does that mean? Live is like I can manipulate my body. Backflit?

You think you can backflit? I reckon I get, not right now. Don't test me now. But I think it's in my future. When, though? Like, we should, should we test you? By the end of the year. You can back foot by the end of the year?

I can't go back foot by the end of the year. That's too far away. Too far away. End of surveyed too. Three months. I give it three months. A bit niche, I got, but I agree. Little radio niche.

Sorry. I can't believe you think I'd hurt myself doing the worm. Yeah. The worm. You've seen me dance. Got it going on. Yeah, but no, that's exactly why I think you hurt yourself. It is funny, though.

Start that by saying bump on the head. I, Cardinal Sin-Shag. I was taking the doggy for a wee. It's the only time I really scroll on my phone, just out of the sight of the little girl. So I'm just scrolling, just getting my scroll in, walked into a tree branch. Really?

Dumb injury. My head still hurts. Wow. Oh, I know. I felt so silly. There's nothing worth running into shit. Oh, my God. Don't you just feel idiotic?

Oh, that is falling over. Oh, falling over as an adult, Babs. Because right now we're still just having the... She's fallen over here in the bathroom. Oh, and the steps. You fall over. You're a clumsy lady. Dumb injuries.

Yeah, that's the classic one. I'd love to note your dance floor because you're going too hard. 048-1-169. Do you have a dumb injury you'd like to text through? Yes, 048-1069. Someone has said, I sprained my ankle, Cassidy, two weeks before my wedding, playing on my phone whilst walking the dog. I fell off the curb, had to ditch the heels and wear sandals at my wedding.

Oh, that's embarrassing. You have a great dumb injury story for us as well. 13, 1060. You know who Cassidy is? Yes. The girl whose husband is obsessed with the peanut. I know that for it. Thank you, Cassidy.

I thought. I was like, ah, hell yeah. Oh, my God. Someone's really done a number to their eyes. 131060. This is Jess and Rowan. We've got some great texts coming through, Rowan. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But also on the phones. People, thank you for sharing. Let's go to Browena. Good morning. Rowena, maybe. Hello. Hello. I had to ring because this has happened to me just recently.

Fantastic. Yeah, took my nieces to the park and we're having a great time on the merry go around until my son got involved. And he decided to turn the merry go around the other way. And I was still trying to move forward. Anyway, it catapulted me off, landed on my elbow. broke my radial head, detached all my tendons, had to have surgery. I'm still in a romebrose, actually, as I speak to you. And, yeah, that happened in January.

So, hang on, how fast was he able to spin you that you've come off at such a velocity? Well, she, we were going forwards, and that was great. I was just jumping on and off as you do with two little girls on the roundabout. But he decided, oh, it'd be really good fun to spin me the other way, like he's 23, so he's quite strong back. Oh, my bad. I'm picturing just like a little boy. God damn, and he's flung you off. That is crazy.

We were the responsible adults for the day looking after my niece. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Not very merry. Not very merry at all. Mary go down. Nice. Yeah, and everyone just stood there and looked at me and nobody came up to me and said, are you okay? And I was in a world of pain.

Of course you were. Well, that's just an indictment on society. No one cares about one another. It's standard vibes now, isn't it? Let's go to Kira. Good morning, Kira. Good morning. Have you hurt yourself and was it dumb?

It was very dumb. I basically almost ran myself over with my own car. How does one achieve that here? Not sure how that works, babe. Talk us through it. Yeah, it was very special. So just doing the whole test and the brake lights, checking the light lights and the reverse lights are all working in the car, you know. Are you meant to do that?

Yeah. Apparently. My, well, partner at the time was behind the vehicle. Cars turned on, checking reverse lights and everything. But I wasn't in the car. I was standing outside the car, chucked my leg in, had it in reverse still because we'd just take the reverse lights. But I accidentally stomped on the accelerator instead of the brakes. and it overrode the handbrake, and I ended up under the car.

So why didn't you see what sitting in the car? Yeah. Because I'm me. I don't know. And if he was checking the lights, why did you need to get out of the car? What's going on? Did you have someone watching the car? In hindsight, hindsight's a wonderful thing, but I had split elbow.

I had to have stitches a week before my daughter's first birthday. So big birthday party with my arm in a sling. Gira, did people believe you when you were like, I ran over myself. You get the bad things they actually do because I'm that accident. Because it's gear. Oh my God, that's dumb. She's the worst.

Scanzer, good friend of the show. Good morning, legend. It's been a long time. Thanks for ringing Roland Scansley. He's always got great gear. Good on you. What's the gear today? What's the gear today? Have you hurt yourself?

Well, the funny thing is I haven't been able to listen for a while because I've actually been out with a torn ACL. Oh, I can't. How'd you do it? That was a basketball injury, but the injury I'm calling about right now is also a basketball injury. I'm not the tallest person out there, yet I managed to have someone jump up underneath my chin and put one of my teeth through my bottom lip. Completely clean and clean. I mean, social sport, man.

Social sport, it's deadly. It can be rough. It can be rough. 100%. Thank you. Well, I hope the ACL is also okay. Maybe just take a break from basketball. Yeah, I think the basketball might not be his jam.

For a bit. Nicole, good morning. Hi. Yep, here we go. You know what's dumb. What'd you do? Yeah. So about two weeks ago, I was getting ready to have a shower.

I was pulling my shorts down and ended up cracking my head against the bathroom bench and split my aisle down. Come on, babe. Just trying to pants yourself. What are we doing? My. Yeah, I just did it too fast in the motion. I just cracked my head on the... Too efficient.

To be fair, Nicole, I can't, I can't judge. You know, sometimes if you've really... washed your hair, you flip your head over to wrap the tail to do the turban? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I was supposed to wash my hair that day. I mean, once the bleeding stopped, I was like, no, I can do it with my head back. That's fine. So I still wash my head at the end.

Look, oh, she's like, I've got things to do. Babs just wrote in the phone box, I've done that. Checks out. Of course you have. This is Jess and Rowan. We were talking earlier, Rowan, about the dumb ways you've injured yourself. Now, we were going to move on, but the text line is blowing up. So I think it's only fair because we've got the cooker of the day prize, which we're going

to draw at 9 a.m. We've got to tick some of these off. That's true. These contributions are elite. 04-8-8-18-106-9. Bethany said, I fell down the stairs, just trying to get my Uber eats at 12 a.m. broke my foot. Had to quit my job because of her. I text her back. I said, why did you need to quit your job? Maybe she was on her feet all day. Okay, maybe. Tenisha. I dislocated my knee while tubing. It wasn't even whilst I was on the tube,

Rowan. It was whilst I was trying to get back on the boat after falling off. Who's this? Charlotte. When I was about

15, I was practicing moonwalking. Practicing moonwalking in our lounge room and I felt a pain in my foot. A kebab skewer had gone in

between my toes. Oh, embedded into my skin. The ED doctor had one. One leg up on the bed with pliers trying to pull it out. It was embedded so far deep in my foot.

To Charlotte, I say, what's the kebab skewer doing on your lounge room floor? Oh, okay. Who's this? Jess has said, oh, this one, this one I think might take the cake for the dumbest. She had a march fly land on her ankle. I think those little suckers bite you. Oh, okay, right. She happened to be holding a hammer, Rowan.

Oh, you idiot. She thought, oh, I'll turn it on its side, more surface area, might be able to catch the Marchfly, has brought the hammer down onto her ankle. Very bad. I'm not the ankle. Ray has said I was once playing squash, playing a hectic game, stopped, had a drink, freshened up, got back on the court, went for a trick shot. I was feeling myself.

Went for a trick shot between the legs. But I let the racket go. The racket has come up into my face. tip to tooth. Oh, okay. So it's a real idiot to listen to this show. A lot of idiots. Welcome to the party.

That's us. And this one, we'll finish with this one. What's this person's name? Amelia. No? Someone else. Okay. Hey guys, my granddad was a Paralympian.

Nice. And so my sister and I, being very proud granddaughters, were playing a game, pretending to be Paralympians like Granddad. Wow. My sister was pretending to be blind, running a race. I was supposed to be the guide. Okay. But she kept yelling.

yelling at me to stop pulling her, and all she did was run at full speed into a brick wall. Saves a right. Side of my neighbour's house, shook the house enough for the neighbour to come out, see what happened. Was she okay? She hasn't gone on to say, oh yeah, no, Amelia, was your sister? Surely you're breaking your nose. At least. You cannot run full pelt with your eyes closed.

She went blind. Oops. Oopsies. Oh. Oh, you got another one for us. Someone said, hey, Jess. So this is not for you. This is just for me.

Hey, Jess. My sister and brother glued my eyes shut. with Tarzan grip because I kept cheating while playing hide and seek It's what to do for bans on the threesome game Thanks Sharon This is Jess and Rowan

Who Who Who Who Who And And Cook up of the day

Normally it is Cooker of the week Today it is cooker of the day We're giving away the same prize Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday It is a wicked prize Worth $1,200

Ish Jess May Newcastle Food Month, Australia's most expansive food festival kicks off April 1, technically March 28, because there's a cheeky little event at the race course happening in March. But it's an incredible celebration. Wine and darnin coming together over a beautiful meal. Every day this week, Rowan, as you said, cooker of the day,

one night accommodation at the stunning Crystal Brook Kingsley. Breakfast for two parking and dinner at the roundhouse restaurant, plus 250 bucks spending money to enjoy an event or a plate date. I'm here for recommendations. Plate date. Plate date and 200 bucks to spend at Charlestown Square. Maybe get yourself a new fit. It's plate date just something that you've made up that's fun.

No, that's absolutely what it's called. There are 70 participating venues that are doing kind of a meal deal. Meal and an alcoholic beverage for 30 bucks. An adult meal deal. An adult meal. This is the adult happy meal. What was your favourite? plate date last year.

Macacho et Pepe. Without even thinking. Anyone who had a pasta dish on their agenda, Crystal Brooks actually doing an incredible event. They're doing a high tea. It's like every Sunday with Cake Boy, legendary patisserie. Oh my God.

Good. Shout out to you, Reese. There is so much to enjoy Newcastlefoodfoods.com. Check them out the website for Instagram. So we are doing Cooker of the Day. Yes, we are doing Cooker of the Day every day. And I've got to say, Ron, a lot of honourable mentions. We just did dumb injuries.

We've never had more texts come through. That's true. However, there is someone who has made us laugh for the past hour. Lovely lady. Came Karen. Karen. My mother's name. Karen and Karen's have just had a hard knock since COVID days.

Haven't they? Being called Karen. But Karen wanted to play Alphabucks at 8 a.m. She had the letter S and she had a great attitude. Oh, she was on day one of two weeks holiday. So she was just coming out of it with a great energy. It's a real vibe. Let's play a little bit of it now to get a bit of a vibe of how it went.

Yes. We need you to name. A drink. Somosa. A shoe brand. Pass. A band. Killing Heidi.

That's not it. A stationary item. Stapler. An athlete. Pass. An animated character. Scooby do. A shoe brand.

Skeeches. An athlete. Man. We're not skeeches either. Man, you. Where the bloody hell do you pull killing hiding. Okay. Now, you might have noticed in 2026, there's no consolation prize when you lose alpha bucks.

No. Karen, you're our first person to get a consolation prize in the former of Cooker of the day. A very good consolation prize. Because just pulling killing, killing hiding out of your bum. has made us giggle. But why was it on the mind? I don't know. We asked, is Killing Heidi your favourite band? If you just seen them live?

She goes, no. Killing Heidi. Shit, that's wrong. Let's play weird now as a bit of a celebration. Oh, my God. That's a second gift for Karen. Killing Heidi, Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan.

Killing Heidi on Hit Breakfast. All for our mate, Karen. We're getting a lot of texts and DMs come through. Say, thank you, Karen. What a banger. Thank you, Kaz. Cooker of the Day. Cooker of the Day.

We are doing it every single day, so please get involved. Text, DM, comment even. As long as you're involved with the show, we'll hook you up with a wicked cook of the day price thanks to Newcastle Food Month, Australia's most expansive food festival. That is the event that we are doing the waiter race

as a part of. The waiter race, of course, the debut event on April 1. It is no April Fool's joke. We need to start getting into that. Yeah, at our long run. lunch on Friday, a few people said, hey, see that tray of drinks, why don't you start practicing? I said,

I'm not doing a practice with a tray full of margaritas. I'll start with two rosettes and work up. We've got the video guy to film you and you've dropped them. It'd have been great content. It would have been, but then we would have had to get that little brush. Sorry, Tinta. More margaritas. More margaritas, please. Back again tomorrow, it's still doing the cooker

of the day. Same prize. Same rules apply. Twelve hundred bucks worth there, Rowan. Four hundred and thirteen To be precise. So good. I mean, the Crystal Book, you get breakfast, parking and dinner. I like that you clip really drilling down on the parking. Parking, last time I stayed somewhere nights, it was like $150 for parking. It was like one night.

God damn. What the hell? Because they know businessmen, just claim it on the business. You're not a business man. You're just having to pay for that. Just roll-in. Just a little trip. Come on, guys.

Just a bit of a joke. Don't do that. Don't get too. Bye. Macca's bistro at Bernice Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.