Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - I might poo my pants

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

We ask what did you try once and never again? Producer Babs gets brave and Rohan has a problem with guys at the gym!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Hello everybody, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for tuning in once again. I'll tell you what, Rowan, the text line? Great source of joy.

People are trying to get them prizes. Great source of joy. Tell me what you think Deb was thinking here. Today is Tuesday, the what of March? The 24th of March. Yesterday, on Monday, the 23rd of March, we talked about dumb injuries. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what Deb's listening to on today's show.

We should listen to the podcast yesterday. Maybe she is listening to Monday show at the same time that we were airing Tuesdays. Because she texts us and answer to a question we asked yesterday. So I'm confused. But with no context, it made me laugh. What was it? I think it's to do with dumb injuries. I was making the bed.

The fitted sheet let go. I'm assuming one of the corners has snapped off. She didn't put it, tuck it in enough. I was thrown into the. The dressing table broke three ribs. Maybe she was just a bit slow. She's not getting there. She's slingshot.

The fitted sheet's slingshot, poor Deb. What brand of fitted sheets is she using? That is unbelievable elastication shy guy. Oh, God, Dennis the Menace could only wish. We put our bamboo sheets in the dryer and like... Oh, don't dry. No, they shrieging. To my side.

My, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Bamboo. Bamboo shrimps, babe. I don't reckon you roll with bamboo. You probably got cotton down. Anyway, every morning It pops up every morning

And it's so, And bamboo, not cheap, Oh, no, no You gotta wait for Harrah Scarf to go on sale I think we got it on special To be fair Okay, I love my bamboo sheets Oh, silky as shit, aren't they?

Divine. But yeah, how hard, it's a workout, isn't that? Trying to hook. Have you got a king? What sort of bed do you got? Queen. I think you've got a queen.

Double. No, no, it might, no, it's a king. It's a king. It's a koala king. Oh, hello. They're all right. Ryan again. I kind of want one of the,

like, I want to get one of the, like, proper spring loaded, like proper levels to it. I reckon my mattress is the best thing in our house. Our mattress is elite. Yeah, so,

like, you get like, half-priced mattresses. Like, you get, like, a, really, well, you can get it half-price. That's the point is, if you're, nah, not good ones.

You know, you're kind of like, 20 grand or something on a mattress, you could maybe get it for 10. And then they put the shit ones on sale. That's how you know their shit. Because they're so expensive and the markup's so high.

That's true. They're always on us. Yeah, but they're meant to last your 30 years. That's true. You know what I mean? Cost per use. It's actually very, don't skimp on a mattress gang. My favorite thing to watch on like Instagram and TikTok is when they open up those ones that come in a box.

Oh my God. Alice came in a box. Shaka, why a mattress is come and rolled up? I understand too sick. They're like really compressed. Yeah, that's dangerous. I keep trying to say Lucy is like, can we just get a mattress that wasn't in a box? But she loves it.

Really? Yeah. And are they good, the koala? Is that the ad where they put the egg and then they jump on it? The egg doesn't break? Because the shock absorbed is so good. You can't buy a full lounge suite and it kind of compressed. That's sick.

That's sick. That can't be good for your lumbar spine. I think they're very comfortable. Look after the lumbar more. You've got to look after the lumbar. Totally. Well, that's very exciting. Babs, we've got a king over here.

I'm a king. Shall I go what size bed? Queen? Race car bed. I thought too long for a queen. Dad's in the race car bed. Do your feet hang over the edge? No, king are the same size.

King's just a longer. A wider. Sorry, why don't you mean? Yeah, the same thing. Babs, what have you got? You got a queen for a queen. For a queen. Slate.

Very whimsical of you. I know. Sleep in the middle. Have you got, what is your duna cover? Fair. Yeah, you would have a whimsical duna cover. I changed it the other day. So before it had like little flowers on it.

Cute. And now it's like gingham pink and green. Of course. Oh, pink and great. How they're wicked. It has little martinis just here and there and everywhere. That's Jessis. Oh, sorry, that's Jessus.

We're shopping for a duna cover at the moment. If you got any recommendations, where to shop. a shop for a duna cover. I didn't know Louis Vuitton sold. Bro, that's how much I'm fucking spending and it's only just at the shop. I'm like, why a duna cover is so expensive? Share it and have a bit of a disc out of moment. Yeah, but see, I've got a very busy headboard, so I'm looking for an equally busy

duna cover. I don't want no plain badge. Where do you stand on pillows? I think I have too many. Oh, shog. You have too many? I think so. I'll take a photo on again.

I told you, Angus has eight pillows, so he builds the fort. I actually would be happy with none. But these are like decorative. We do four. Oh, you do four? Are you sleeping on two of them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am, Lucy's doing...

Jeez, Babs is counting in my periphery. How many are you counting? There's 10 pillows on my bed. Oh, my God. I've just worked out. I think I've got six. Because it's like... How many sleeping pillows?

Well, I sleep on two. Half of four. You sleep on two, you're fucking upright. Yeah, I like it. Goodness gracious. I've got like two at the back, like the big European ones. And then like the ones actually sleep on. So there's four there.

And then I've got two big green ones. And then two little little. Hang on, you got Europeans and two big green. Why do you need too many big pillows? I don't know. I like big pillows. Do you make your bed at 4 a.m. I sure do.

I pride myself on that actually. Wow. I'll leave Angus in my bed. Oh, fair enough. I'm not a sad single. Hang on that's not sad about that. You be sitting, Roe and be this fine. Last year Babbs bought a pillow in.

It was the rangest thing I've ever seen. See the color. What color would you describe Babes as top as today? Yeah, that was the color of her pillow. That was the color of her pillow. But it was horrible. Then I got a pillow talk about cheer out of it. And I went to talk heard and we're like,

we're going to save this girl. Nice. And I went and got the microphone pillows. Best fucking thing I've ever seen. Yeah, we got. Nice. Shout out pillow talk. Yeah.

And a laundry hamper. That was good. She's stinky clothes. No, it's because you can tie it up so you don't have to see. Did you get the pillow case protector thing? Pillow protector. It's like another pillowcase. No, it came, so it's the actual, like, bamboo.

Yes. And then it came with the protector as well. And do you wash that every now and then? Oh, my God. I don't watch the pillow protector. But it's protecting you. You got to take care of the protect. Who's protecting the protector?

That's what the pillow case does. Okay. You know what? Bring your pillow in tomorrow. I bring my pillow in tomorrow. Okay. It's fine. I know it's fine.

I wash the weekends. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Gee, okay. Yeah, I thought you got to wash the week. Because I was sick. I thought I should wash them this weekend to wash the, that's, that's Good on you. Smart.

That's how I know when Angus hasn't felt well, when I come home and all the sheets are washed. I'm like, oh, he must have had the sniffles. He's trying to protect the family. Anyway, enjoy the show. Have fun. Have fun. We've got for Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan.

Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. That squawking fatty. And Rowan. You like what I did that. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Happy.

Tuesday, everybody. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, Rowan. How do you do for this fine day? My guts are grumbling. Today I am I poo, my pants. Literally, I don't know what's going on, guys. All right, well, there's two bins under the desk.

One is bagged for garbage and one is unbagged for recycling. Just choose your playoff. wisely. The other one has a great kind of like a wire. Yeah, it is a white. It's a waste paper bin. I think I'll be okay.

I'm just my... Not a makeshift potty. It's grumbling. Should have told me I could have brought Lucia's potty in. She's not using it, so you could have it. Really? Yeah, she's refusing. Where's she going then?

On the nappy still. Oh, still in the nappy. Oh, this is where you go. Now, we've... You we've... You we're training. Yeah, but if she's refusing, I actually don't know how you force them to sit there.

all the books and all the podcasts I read say, make it an enjoyable environment. I'm like, what the hell does that mean? With Miss Rachel on, it'll be fine. Well, yes, we've got the Miss Rachel potty training book. Oh. She says to put her favorite books around the potty so she can sit there like a 65-year-old man reading the paper.

I'm out of options. Miss Rachel can't do it. But Lucid doesn't want to read Zog. Just let her walk around the house barebum until she needs to go to the toilet. Yes, that is the other piece of advice. It is? How do you know that? Made that up.

I just, my mind went. Yeah, so basically just eliminate the catch guard. Our issue is, and my husband being such a kind son, we're currently living in his parents' apartment. It's all carpet. And he doesn't want our sweet angel doing wee-weeas or worse on their carpet. I don't think she will. So we're going to wait for, oh, you don't reckon she will.

No, I don't think she will. I reckon you take away. I reckon you eliminate the hammock. It's the same as the bike. She, with the bike, she didn't want to. No option. She knew what she was doing. She got mum and dad.

Dad to push her. See, that's fair. But are you going to come over if she does poo on the carpet? I don't want to clean that. No, I'm not her parents. We could wait. I reckon you need to just let her walk around the house. When does she normally pooed at a certain time?

She's not on a regular program, unfortunately. We pump this kid full of prunes. Not on a regular schedule, unfortunately. Maybe if you just, yeah, I don't know, I reckon, try the elimination diet. Because the alternative is, Rowan, and what Angus is suggesting is we wait till we go back into our house because it'll be all floorboard or tile. And I said, I don't want it pooing on my new tiles. Yeah, better the mother-in-laws, for sure.

The terracotta's getting laid, actually, very soon. Oh, nice. The terracotta-look tiles in the kitchen's going to be fabulous. Lovely. Yeah, don't do it in your house. So what? So you're going to smear on me new tiles. We'll be in there two minutes.

Is he serious? I know. Where is Poppy and Gigi's carpet? Oh, it's seen better days. They'll get that clean. They'll go, oh, poor thing. You can be able to be like, oh, it leaked from the napi or something. You have to tell them.

Angus is already saying we'll get like an end of lease clean. I went, what's not the end of lease? He goes, yeah, but we've destroyed this place. We should get a proper clean. Oh, if you're going to get an end of lease clean, may she weighs or pool on the carpet. May as well. We've already had the carpets clean once.

What else you're going to do other than the elimination of losing the hammock? You know what the advice is? Don't leave the house for three days. Remove the nappies and don't leave the house. Ron, I go stir crazy. I can't not leave the house. Yeah, that's kind of like removing the hammock, I guess. Yeah, but I don't, well, not go out for three days?

Oh my God, I'll go batty. Maybe that's the vibe. Maybe that's what you're going to do. I think that's what people do. I've got things to do. I've got to go to Woolworth. I would have no idea how to do it. My mind just goes, don't get it.

I know, I just keep asking her. Can you just use the toilet, please? I didn't even want a potty in the house because they're disgusting. One of the women at our long lunch, she showed me her daughter's journey. No, she showed me her daughter's potty training journey. I was like, thank you. I don't want to see that.

Oh. Another parents think that every parent wants to see your care do stuff. No thanks. I care for my pet, my child and my child only. Exactly. It was a real lesson in, oh, don't do that. Look at us, mums, we all, no. Nah, I don't need to see your kid presenting her puppy in her potty. I like my, I would like my own child and children of my very close friends.

Absolutely, but I bet you the day Licea does one, I'll be bringing it into you guys. Look at what she did. All of that will go out the window. I don't even like fringe friends kids. Like, you know, the free, you know, like, oh, how I am, man? Yeah, good. You have a little bit of conversation. kids and I'm not really good friends of them.

I go, why do you kidding? Yeah, yeah. I've asked how you are, and that's where the conversation can end. Spot on. Spot on. Shy guy, how you doing today? Good. How your guts?

Fine. We've got one questionable over here. They're fine. They're fine. Babs, you've got pretty touch-and-go guts. You okay this morning? Yeah, they're fine. Okay.

I didn't feel very convincing. They're never fantastic, but they're fine today. Okay. We're all firing on all cylinders. I'll be fine on a special cylinder in a minute probably. For sure. For show. Big show.

Big. I just read a book about space and there was a lot about rockets. So that's what I'm pictured. Why are you reading books by space space? Oh, it was a love story set around NASA. So there was some rocket chat. Still fiction. Fiction, babe.

Wow, you third a corner shot guy. Nah, no, no. Romance. Oh, romance. Romance in space. Romance in space. Romance at NASA. I thought they weren't allowed.

Lesbian romance at NASA, too. Okay, that's enough. It was epic. Stop the show. Do we need to dump that? Oh, my goodness. Don't yuck my yum. Whoa, unbelievable.

Lesbians? In NASA? Really? In the 60s, too. Oh, it was the whole thing. Wow. What? Who's to say it's not based on a true story?

Do they get it on up the rocket? Not up the rocket because they don't have missions at the same time. There. One's on Jupiter, one's in Venus. Okay. Big show today, guys. Babs' blog. It's coming back.

Absolutely. And I love the headline. I was brave. I look forward to unpacking that with bass. I did something brave. Yes. We're going to talk that just after 630. And next, something you may not imagine

posting on Strava the running app. Enjoy that next. And Jessarwin. This is Jess and Rowan. Normally we do Cooker of the Week, the best call, contribution, DM, text. At the end of the week, get a wicked prize. This week.

Very special, Jess. It's Cooker of the Day. Cooker of the Day, in honour of Newcastle Food Month, which of course takes over April. In the lead-up to that, we're doing Cooker of the Day. You win a night's accommodation of the Crystal Brook Kingsley. Tick. Breakfast, dinner and parking included. You, beauty.

$250 spending money and $200 to spend at Charlestown Square for a shopping spragment. Oh, every day you can win it. Rowan, we've already had a couple of texts off my potty training journey. Oh, you're about moms. We were just discussing, do we just let Lucci go nappy free? Yeah, I reckon. But the advice has been just don't leave the house for three days. I will go mental.

What one would you pick? The three days or the bear bum? You have to pick the bear bum. No, well, that's the thing. The bear bum with the three days. It's collective. You do that together. Because I can't let it go out with the bear bum.

I think you sometimes even never. It's pervert. I don't have kids, but I think you have to play chicken with the child sometimes. Sometimes, I think you have to play chicken. It's how long will you last? Robin has got in touch. Put undies on it. At least that catches.

No, but that catches. And then she's more uncomfortable with me? But I think the idea of the, I have heard this, she then starts feeling uncomfortable going, well, I don't like this. I best expel in a vessel. I don't mind that. It's to train her because for two years of her life, Rowan, she's lived in nappies going, well, this is normal. I don't mind that.

Maybe you go, all right, we don't wear nappies anymore. We wear undies. And she said, let her pick the undies, make it special. So she feels in charge. This is nice, Robin. Have you written a parenting book? Well done, Robin. That's nice.

Spot on, babe. He's in charge. Yeah. Your child would appreciate that, I think. I know, but she'll pick ugly ones. We went to a fourth birthday party on the weekend. All the little girls getting flowers and unicorns, including me, face paint. She got a shark on her cheek.

Then rubbed it off two minutes later eating watermelon. I went, sis, you don't know what's best for you. She'd get like undies with Lightning McQueen on them or something. Don't even start me. We watched cars the other day. Cool as. She's a big fan of maid at the tow truck with the gap teeth. I bet she is.

She loves trucks. She does love trucks, loves a tractor. Anyway, thank you, Robin. Thanks, Robin. But that's basically put you in with for cooker of the day. Yeah. Imagine a little bit of advanced about potty training gets your cooker of the day. Simple as that, guys.

You want to tell you about this French warship? Mm-hmm. Well. Okay. How's this story? I don't know much about warfare, Rowan. But I think one of the, one of the important points of it is being subtle. You've got to be.

Until you want to fight and actually make your positions known, it's all about, you know, subterfuge and being suss and not giving away your positions. French news outlet Le Monde has reported that a dude, a soldier, a seaman. Seaman. He was on a ship, a French warship. French seaman. He was like me going a bit baddie, I think. He's like, I've got to get my runs in.

I've got to get my workout in. But I'm in the middle of the ocean. That's all right. I'll just run around the carrier deck of my warship. I reckon they do a lot of that for exercise. That's probably pretty normal. They would have to, right? Because in those galleys and corridors, it's pretty tight.

But on the big place where the planes land. Yep, we've got to run free. They can run free. It's basically a field. So he's running around. But he's also one of these showboaters. He goes, well, can't do a workout and not log the workout on my special running app called Strava. Oh, Strava's great.

You used Strava? So I don't, no. I don't run. Me either. So he is logging. He logs the, are you running now? No, you're just doing your walks. Just doing your walks.

You haven't graduated. These ankles are not good for running. You can log that on Strava, kind? Yeah, he can log walks on Strava. Your feet would just be real slow. Yeah. I wouldn't share it. I know a lot of people do on Strava and they create a shape out of their map.

So this guy's just running around in circles, but he logs the app, logs the run on the app, giving away the position of the aircraft carrier. This guy's on a warship, Rowan. So his enemies follow him on Strava? So it would appear, well, I don't know how Lamond found out about it. So it's Le Mans fault. It's Le Mans fault. And then BBC gets involved,

tries to verify the position of the warship based on this guy's Straval workout. They've come out being like, who, he changed his privacy settings. So someone in the French Navy caught him and went, don't do that. You've given away our position in the middle of the ocean.

Just furious. Off the Turkish coast, northwest of Cyprus. I shouldn't have this month's information about a French warship shy guy. It's actually very dangerous. 195 million users on Strava. That's too many users. I mean, it was a nice run for him, I guess.

Well, was it nice? Because you can see the map here. It just went up and back, up and back, up and back. Well, that's because the boat was moving. He wasn't even running. He was just sitting. The boat was moving. Wow.

So, guys, if you are in the military, Navy, Air Force, and if your location is top secret, maybe just don't log that workout. I just don't post it. I get it, you want to brag. Don't. Oh, is that what the issue was? Yeah, he posted it.

The Vistrava account. It's like Facebook of workouts. Oh, guys, don't do that. Yeah, the semen. Just keep it to yourself. So he's trying to defend France's interest in the region, support its partners and allies, and he's giving away their position.

20 fighter jets, two surveillance aircraft, and three helicopters. Could have been blown out of the water. Yeah. Because of a stupid little run. They're semen. Always getting them in trouble. This is Jess and Rowan.

Babs' blog. Her headline, I did something brave. And I love this for her. Yeah. Because she's young and timid. Doesn't know how to take life by the balls yet, and it sounds like she's finding her way. I heard her talking to shy guy at the long lunch about how they had a good photo.

It sounds like she was taking that by the balls. No, wrong, this. What are you doing? And I respect that because I thought I'd trained shy guy well. Did you let me down? Lauren was it? Said they were also great. And then Babbs posted one on her carousel of Instagram.

Yeah, after she'd yell at you, you took a better one. No, I didn't take more after. I wasn't allowed, but she still posted it. Oh, it can't have been that bad. Who took them after Shy Guy took them? The videographer. And you took Shy Guy's photo and posted that. I looked better in that one.

See? Oh. Yeah, but was that you or was that just Bab's face? You know what I'm saying? Can you get credit for this? You get some credit. I need more credit than you. You need more credit than you are getting.

I agree with you. You should have seen when I first met Shah Guy. So much roof in all the photos. I'm like, why are you doing with all that roof? You know what? My partner, Lucy does that. What's with all the roof guys? Why do we do that?

It's the rule of thirds. I don't need ceiling. I don't even need upper wall. I need my shoes in it. These are the photos. I love my girlfriend with all my heart, but these are the photos she takes. But that's what she takes as me.

Why do we need all the ceiling? Why do we need all the extra? Don't get me started on what you posted me. And where you post it. You probably will post that, you're bastard. That's not a big deal. You probably will post that. Delete that right now and I can see.

04-8-8-8. Jesus Christ, should I post it on my story? I can. My brain just went to you. No. No. Texas show, should I post it on the story?

How bad is it, don't? Wow, it's not great. Oh, was I making, I don't, I don't take a great kit. Big vibes. Well, cropped is better. Croped is better. Like, you're better than a crop like that. No.

No one looks good with that crop. You wouldn't do me dirty like that. I would never. I actually have respect and care about you. Thank you so much. Oh, I've respect and care, but put me 11th out of 11 in a carousel. Well, last time you were 16th, so you've actually gone up. Yeah, but there was 20 photos in that carousel. Now there's only 11 and I'm 11. Look at all these photos I have a babs on my phone. Why was I taken so me? Wow. Do you love Babs? You just said you had a girlfriend.

This was where Matt was taking photos. This is great. You can send those to me if you like. Yeah, these are, yeah. Rowan, why didn't we take any cute ones just you and I that we could have posted from the lunch? We're all too busy. Too busy mingling. Too busy mingling. Taking photos.

Oh, there's a photo of you and Henry from the Closters as well. Oh, your mate. Can we get a final say? Was he 5'10? He absolutely wasn't. He was delightful. I don't want to upset him, but babe, don't like... Why do boys lie about their height?

I don't know. This is a boy that Rowan accused of being 5'3. He texted and said, how do you? I'm 5'10. Well, I met him. He'd be 5'7. 5'7's not bad. With poofy hair.

No, mullet. Sick mullet. Didn't he have a sick mullet? Yeah, with the floof at the front. Oh, that's a couple of inches right there. He was working it. Absolutely. Why wouldn't you?

He had swagger though, Henry. He really did. You should have seen him. This is what I'm saying is why I was drawn to the great man. He was outside vaping and the GM made him come in and meet me. He was like, I'll go get him. And I went, oh, geez, he must be nervous. The big boss has come and tapped him on the shoulder.

You should have seen him saunter in. Anyway, I put the best photos I had from like the last couple of weeks and you were in there. That's upsetting, though. I don't see the big deal. 11th. Oh, that's my story. Yeah. I'm just now on Instagram.

Stop scrolling. There's you. There's a good photo of the peanut too. I know. I was lower than the peanut shy guy. Hey, I'm just glad I made it before the peanut. Oh,

you did. You always made it. The back of my head, mind you. I was scrolling. I was like, okay, where's Jess? Not me. Not me. Me.

Nice. Up peanut. To be honest. I didn't know if I was going to make it. I was getting really nervous. I got to post eight, nine. I went, oh my God, he hasn't posted me. I don't know if you guys are clock and what I'm doing.

Everyone's out there. Like, wow, Rowan's done a character. Rassel, where's he put Jess? Puts Jess at the end. They scroll to the end for ultimate engagement. You're using Jess as a drawcard. Sorry, did I get everyone? Does it matter about everyone or does it matter about me, your pal, and how I feel?

That I used you for engagement bait. Yeah, you're using me for engagement bait. That's what we do, baby. That's what we do, baby. We just get it, baby. Yeah, baby, yes. This is Jess and Rowan. And this is my blog.

Commence Operation Superstar Brat. Whimsical. Whimsical. Oh my God, me too. So we removed the sleigh and 2026 is a focus on whimsy. Yep, whimsy. Vimsy girl. Wimsy girl.

Yep. How you been whimsical lately? I actually have been very whimsical, but also very brave. What? I love it. Please continue. All right. It's just really fun.

So, the other day I went for coffee with a friend. Yep. And I saw a girl who I haven't. seen in about, I would say, eight or nine years. High school friends? Old high school friend. Well, not really a friend.

Oh. So we had a big, no, we had a big falling out in high school. We were best friends. Good context. Oh. Yes, we were best friends for a long time. Great context. Got along so well.

But we had this silly falling out. Whilst you were still at school or at the end of school? It was probably in about end of year 10, maybe year 11. So he's still like. time with each other. Yeah, so then I kind of had to run out the rest of school. They were still, like, she was still there, but we hadn't talked since then. We went to the same uni, but it was during COVID, so I didn't see her at all. And you probably actively avoided her. Just on a win the other day, when I was going for coffee with another friend, I saw her. And, like,

the greeting was quite nice. Like I said, oh, hey, like, I hadn't seen her in a long time. How are you going? She was like, yep, I'm good. How are you? That was kind of it. You didn't go out of your way. No, no, I just saw her. It was a bit of a shock because I haven't seen her for a long time. long time. She didn't realize that she was living in this city. Anyway, I kind of went home and thought about it and I was like, wow, that whole falling out was really silly. Like, we were really good friends. Do you even remember what it was about? Honestly, not really. It was so stupid. It was just like, it, probably. I mean, I had a partner at the time and, like, she didn't. And I think it was just like, people were getting left out.

And it was so stupid. We just had a blow up. Oh, you've changed bab since you got a boyfriend, that sort of thing. Jealousy kills people. It does. And in high school girls, I mean, it was raging. And, yeah, so it was just a silly falling out. But looking back now, I can see that.

It's taken me some time. And I was like, well, what's kind of stopping us now from being friends? We were friends for such a long time, and it was such a silly falling out. She literally lives in the same area as me now. Yeah, okay. So maybe I should just message her and see what happens. Wow.

Did you have her on? social media or did you have her number still? We still have each other on social media. So it's so silly. Like we've been seeing each other's post like... Likeing the post? No, not liking them. But like we've just been lurking.

Don't go too far. We've been lurking there the whole time. We've still been, you know. So what did you do? You slide into her DM? I did. I texted her, which I was actually really nervous about because I was like a rejection.

This could end really bad. What'd you say? How'd you say it? I just said hi, like so and so. I know this is really odd. But it was actually really nice seeing you. other day. Looking back now, I can see, you know, our whole falling out was so immature and silly. I was just wondering if you'd maybe want to go and get coffee with me soon.

That is so brave, but it's also fraught with danger, because what if this woman has been hanging on to this fight? And you've just called it immature and silly? Yeah, oh, you think I'm odd. I think this is odd. Yeah. What did she say? Well, she liked the message and I went, oh, God, oh God, I've stuffed up. I've stuffed up. She's just acknowledging that I sent it. But then, about 10 minutes, later she replies. It took her 10 minutes to reply. Well, I mean, to be fair, it would be kind of, imagine getting, that's okay. Imagine getting a message from a girl like eight years later randomly. Yeah. And just being like, oh, what she wants? Ten minutes is okay in this case. Is it okay? Okay,

sure. I mean, I would be, I'd be taken aback. But she said, hi, Billy. I was literally just thinking the same thing. I've been meaning to text you after I saw you the other day. I would love to go for coffee. I'm so sorry that all this happened with us. That was so silly. Um, let's see. We're going to do this next weekend. Oh my God. So girls are going out? We're going out for coffee. This is amazing.

Your high school bestie. Yeah, how random. And I love that you'll always have it over her now that you were the first one to text. So you're like, you are the brave one. You actually win this. And then when you see her for coffee, you're like, you know that like I'm the better one next to I message. Because it's very easy to go, I was going to do it. Now you were, it took you 10 minutes to reply.

But also this is, oh my God, I'm so proud. Thank you. Oh, my God. I was going to message you. Yeah. You didn't. Oh, okay. I did.

New fight. Babs is so mature and, bro. Good for you. I know, that's what my mom said. I texted her and I was like, mom, look what I did. And she was like, you've changed. You were so mature. I was like, thanks, someone.

Totally. What, eight years ago was, 16? Um, yeah, probably like 17. 16 or 17, yeah. Oh my God. The girls are coming back together in their mid-20s. It's just so strange though because I'm like, what's great. Do you talk to them about now?

Well, you've got eight years to catch each other up. I know, but where do you start? Like, give me a rundown of what you've been doing for eight years. Well, yeah. Well, it'll be interesting to see if the spark is still there. Like, this was your best friend, you know, if you slip back into the old pair of slippers or it's like a first date. In my 30s now, like, I'm like, I hold the grudge. Oh, amen.

I think we've got enough friends. Yes. Do you know what I get? I agree. I agree. I think we all were the same. Like, it's really good. It's really good.

You've, like, because it's actually more a mental thing about like, oh, that was silly and you grow from that. Yeah. But now I get burned. I go, I hate you with every piece of my mind. A friend of mine's having a wedding. He said, oh, such and such is going. I might invite such and such. And I said, well, I hate him.

He's a douche bag. But it's your wedding. Do it like. But maybe Roro will take a little bit out of the wishing well. I can't do it like. Proud of you. Proud of you, Babs. Can't wait to hear an update.

Yeah, it goes well. Can we actually have an update next week, maybe. I will. Yeah, I will. It's going to be like when you're getting dressed for that, you're going to be like, I'm actually nervous about it. Oh my God, it's so good on you. She's brave.

She's whimsical. I hope I haven't put her outside, but if she hears this and. She doesn't know what you do. No, I don't think so. Oh, it's all up for grabs babies. We haven't talked to each other. This is Jess and Rowan. Chaghan I were, as we normally send each other the burnt peanut videos.

Yep. And relative gaming news on Instagram. He also sent me a slideshow and was like, we should tell the girls about this. Do you know what's funny? When this made the board, shy guy just let slip. Oh, I sent it to Rowan.

I went, oh, they've got a private chat. We do have a private chat. You'd hate it, mate. Like, there's no... And you've just given me an inside? There's no point. There's no point. Thank you for not putting it in the group chat.

Yeah, I didn't want to burn the content. I would have put in the group chat. There is actually a conversation another day. Why did people get mad when they're not in someone else's private chat? You're not in it because you won't like. You won't like it. Absolutely. No, no.

It's actually very courteous. If we thought you'd like it, you'd be in it. But it's funny because what happened in the private chat made the board, which is ostensibly a group chat, Rowan. You know what I'm saying? Good point. That's what I'm saying. Good point. You know?

But I love that Shag guy sent you something and you're now sharing it with all the cookers. Well, weird unspoken rules that men follow with each other strictly. Is this like five? Light Club, should you be saying the unspoken rules out loud? Actually, I didn't think of that. Is it okay? You're going to get the man-a-sphere offside? I think it'll be all right.

H-D-S. Tiki-Toki's Furious. All right. One thing that us men always do, we always skip one urinal in the bathroom. So say there's three urinals, you never go in the middle one. You always go in one of the outsides so that you leave a space for the next. But that's only if you're the first person in there, right? If you go in there and you drop into the middle urinal, you are insane. But if you're the only one, oh, but you're now thinking if someone comes in a second after me.

It's also a real power play. Yeah, if you go in and drop your dach for a kindy way. But also, Rowan, can you clarify for me? There's three urinals, not a wall. No, it's not a wall. There's a three urinal. Same rule applied in spacing forward the wall. You're in the first one, let's say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. guy comes in, he should take the third. But if he comes in the middle, starts rubbing elbows with you. You have to have a look at it. It's more of it. It's an alpha thing. That is an alpha move, isn't it? You've got to check it out.

You've got to have a bit of a look. That's one of the rules that we... That's does that in the ladies with me, with cubicles. She's like, I'm not going right next door to your dress. I always got the same one every day. Yeah, you got the far one. Yeah. More room.

Maybe to assert dominance, you would go next to her. Exactly. And then you keep up the chat to really throw it off her gown. I hate that. I know you do. Hey, babe. No chat at the urinal, ever. If Babs has a particularly strong wee, I'm like,

whoo, thirsty. Oh, no. Bro! She's like, don't talk to me. I said, I'm going to. Just trying to bond. That's feral, bro. That's classic, factory.

I can't comment on my friends stream. No. It's unknown to me. Oh, wait, stream or smell? Stream. I thought you meant. I don't know how I said particularly straw. Why did you get smell?

I thought. All I heard. I think I'm that gross. Not some food's affected. That's not being gross. Hey, next one. You never make your friend look bad in front of his partner. So even if there's something that could come up that he's maybe said, maybe he lied.

Is that an unspoken rule, Rowan? I feel like people have made fun of their maids in front of whoever's around, particularly new date, new love interest. It's more so. That's a nice thing to do. Well, I would say it's more so new love interest. The longer it goes on, you can just hammer into it. That's the thing rip in. You can hammer in.

Yeah, they'll be married 25 years. Go hard. But yeah, if they're trying to court someone, don't make them look silly. When a man asks, you good, it's a real mental health check, guys. Oh, that's. You good? We need to rebrand, Are You OK Day. It's a you good day.

You good day. More dudes will do it. Compliments go into the permanent memory. So if a dude compliments another dude, you don't forget it. Yeah, that's nice. Like, if I said the shy guy. Roll was the last thing you complimented shy guy on. Never done.

I can't even recall one. No, I said I remember how I liked the way his knit looked on him at the long lunch. And every time you see that knit in your wardrobe, I understand, it's been four days. Didn't I rub you back in a way that you liked it too? See? A new knit, new to the rotation. So is that now every time you put that knit on, you think Rowan likes this. Yeah, that's so nice.

Do my compliments hit you as hard as the boys' compliments hit each other about? Yeah, I would say, yeah. Yeah, that's nice. Are you scared of Jess? No. What's that got to do with it? anything. Just saw the Instagram yesterday.

She put you first as like... Yeah, she's... Because she knows you're going to hurt my feelings, so she has to make up for it. Put me first in hers. And I appreciate it. I'm balancing the scales. Oh, sorry, back to my thing.

Insults are a form of affection. Are they? Do you believe that, shy guy? Yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How far can you push it, though? Well, it depends what your friendship's like.

Okay. Could shy guy say the worst thing known to man to you, and you know it was. as a sign of affection. We're all human. I'm pretty good with tone. I'm pretty good. I can judge tone pretty well. Okay.

Yeah. Just be conscious of that, boys. If you're going to insult your mate, mean it as affection, tone is important. I'm always someone that goes too far. Like, I always say she, like, no one if she left you, like stuff like that, which is like, actually, I said that. That's not really a joke.

A guy has just been dumped. Jesus. That's a sign of affection, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. According to this. Oh, classic you. Of course she dumped you.

You can't hold a girlfriend. I'd never say that. I would never say that. Oh, my. Gosh. But, you know, if you're really close with them, like kindergarten friend. Let it rip. Just let it go.

You and Garth. You can say whatever you want. I say Garth's the worst. He's so bad of that. Oh. You'll say it's a real mean stuff. Don't talk for, talk for talk to me. That's Garth.

A perfect dap is the final one. Must be acknowledged. Yep. What's a dapp when you clap each other up? Oh, I agree. I would say that between the ladies as well. You chick's dapped? No, but you know.

Ladies don't dab. No, but. Dab. I dab. Some sort of coming together. That's perfect. What are you dab? Like, dab someone up.

That's what you're talking about. Can we try? Into the mic. So if it's caught it. Yo, what's up? That didn't feel good. It was very fleshyged. Yeah, you were very crudged.

Oh, good wife needs to listen. Maybe you were the problem, Jess. Evidently. Do we need to try it real quick, row? Oh, yeah. Come over here. Now I'm just punching into her hand. You punch it over here with a bit.

Oh, here we go. Dap up. Into the mic. Yo, what's up? Oh, that was good. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Play for $10,000 this morning is the great Amanda.

Hello to you, Amanda. Hello, guys. How are you, Jess and boats? Boats. Oh, that took me a half second. Very good, Amanda. Amanda. Is that Dobbo?

Dobbo, are you there? Hello, mate. Someone's been paying attention. Are you like a 6 a.m. till 9er? I'm more of a 6pm to 6am. Oh, wow. Okay, have you just finished night shift or something? Yeah.

Oh, sis. Okay, well, what do you need 10 grand for? Well, I'm getting married in six weeks and four days. And the money, thank you very much. The money would go awesomely towards a honeymoon because we've had to postpone it at the moment. Okay, fair enough. Well, maybe for your husband.

honeymoon, you would like to consider Kuwait or Kazakhstan. Maybe Kenya. Kenya. Those countries start with the letter K, and that's what you'll be working with today. Okay. Okay. Alrighty. Not a problem.

Your kangaroo island, it's a little closer. Could also be a nice destination. You ready to rock? Definitely. Let's do it, babe. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter K, we need you to name. A food brand.

Craft. A vegetable. Pass. An adverb. Kind. A female singer. Uh, pass. A pantry item.

Oh my God. Pass. A TV show? Kingdom Hill. An occupation. Kitchen hand. A drink. Um, pass.

A musical? Oh, pass. Out of time. I have four. Did I miss one? Did you pay the TV show? Yes. I've never heard of that TV show.

King of the Hill, yes. Is that a show? Does that be cartoon? And it's not the King of the Hill? It's just King of the Hill. It's King of the Hill. It's King of the Hill. Pretty sure it's just King in the Hill.

Oh, sorry, no. Adverb, we said kind. That would be an adjective. We needed the L-Y Amanda. So three. That's the trick with adverbs. It describes a verb. Yes.

Oh, it is. Sorry, Amanda. That's okay. Vegetable, kale, yes, you could add it kindly. If you must get Katie Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Pantry item, kick-cat. I need... Rowan. Sorry, boats.

I need mad props because Babs has a typo on here, and she's actually written panty item, and I went through that with a straight face. I didn't even see it. Well, so I needed mad props. I was giggling, and I thought, no, it's a... Amanda's game, we must persevere. Sorry, we will go to. Panty item.

Panty item. What are you doing to me? I don't know. All right, well, that's three. I had to go have Amanda. Could have said knickers. Why wouldn't kick out your undies? You don't tell me what to do with my undies.

Says also ketchup. All right, thank you, Amanda. Sorry, we can't get you the honeymoon, babe. Good luck with the wedding. Not a problem. Thank you very much. Thanks, God. Thank you.

Thank you very much. What did you try once? Never try again. We'll talk about that next. This is Jess and Rowan. What did you try once and decide? Nope. Never again.

Yeah, okay. There's a fun little list going around the internet, Rowan, and then I'll ask for our contributions. Sure. Someone said, tried to trim my own fringe. That is a great one. Bad idea. Do not cut your own hair.

Those people train for years for a reason. Yeah, bad idea. She wrote, I look like a medieval peasant child for three months. Don't do that. Someone said, friend's car had no more space. So I jammed myself inside the boot of the car. It was only going to be a five-minute journey, but it is definitely not something I would ever do again.

Bad. Terrifying. This one's interesting. I don't know why you did this in the first place at all. Touching an embalmed corpse. What's that? Embalmed. Yeah.

So obviously they prepared the body for the funeral, maybe open car basket situation. So what is embalmed, me? Embalmed, I'm pretty sure, is when you're dead, obviously they don't want you to rot before you... Before she's turned into a ghost. Oh, before the ghost. Well, I guess the spirit has become the ghost, but the body lieth there at the funeral home. So they pump you full of chemicals to make sure you don't rot and smell for your funeral. You've nailed that.

Oh, no. Thank you, Shagher. My great aunt looked quite peaceful in the open casket, so I thought it'd be okay if I pinched her wrist one last time. What a psycho. Oh, it was part of an... old running joke between us. Turns out embalmed skin feels nothing like human flesh

and now my last memory of her is tied up with having the horrible realization that she felt all wrong. Bad, bad. Let's bring it back. Someone said, hot yoga. Lasted 25 minutes before I had to leave with zero dignity and extreme dehydration.

You got to drink some water, guys. Rowan, I ask you, what's something you tried once and thought, nope, never again. Oh, skateboarding. I see that in your wheelhouse. You've got like that skater chic attitude. I'm very top heavy, so I just didn't work. Ah, yeah, it's mushroom.

Yeah. What's that? You like a mushroom? Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. What do you say? North of the equator.

I think bigger. I'm more north of the equator. Yeah. Okay. So your balance isn't your strength. When I was living in Canada, everyone's skateboarded, everyone. Yeah, because I'm going to do it. Isn't a transferable skill snowboarding to skateboarding?

I think kind of. Or that's a myth that gets into trouble. No, I think it actually is. But I couldn't, I was learned to skateboarding. as well. I'd snowboard as well. Okay. It's like the surfers that all skate down to the beach. You go, is it all transferable? I don't think. I think they're just good at multiple things.

Yeah, I think they're just balanced core. Anyway, skateboarding, not for me. I fell over on the concrete once and I said, I'm not doing this anymore. Your mom tried skateboarding once. Christmas Day, one of the cousins got a skateboard. She's like, oh, have a crack. We've got a very steep driveway. I don't think Lisa ever picked up a skateboard again. No blam. For me, Rowan?

Yes. Do you know what, biabab is? Biab. B-I-A-B. With a hyphen? No. BIA. Builder in a bottle.

It is a manicure style. Builder in a bottle. It's the way you apply the polish. It's meant to be better for your nails. Bro, it takes like two hours. It is the most boring beauty treatment known to man. No disrespect to the ladies who enjoy it, all fellas. I thought it was very dull.

Not doing biob. And I didn't love the result. Galtz, give me a 15-minute shalak any day of the week. Oh, absolutely. Mommy doesn't have the time. I have two because they're the same thing at my head. Rock melon. Canterloat is rock melon.

Is that what you're about to say? Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. Sorry. They're not just the same thing in your head. They are the same. It's just two buzzers. It's the same thing, bro.

No thanks. It's the same. I'll eat around it. And you know what? It's a filler in a fruit salad, isn't it? People always put in the rock melon and the honeydew. Don't you think we know what you're doing? I'd rather have that little plastic container.

Just make it half the size. Totally. Don't want to eat it. You doesn't want the rock melon, guys. No candlelope. So what's yours? 131060 or 04-8-8-1069. Kevin's got a quick text here.

Vegee mite. I am Canadian and I put it on my toast like peanut butter. Wrong. Wrong. It's a tiny smear, lots of butter. Nah, Kev says I'm not even going to bother trying it again. It's foul. I'm with you, Kev, and I am Australian.

Well, I love Quebec maple syrup and I still have that. So it's the kind of thing. Good on you. Cool. 131060 or 04-8-8-18-1069. I threw my pennant, shy guy. This is Jess and Rowan. We're asking before on 131060,

what did you try once since you would never try again? Your best contributions get Cooker of the day. About $1,200 worth of prizes. Every day to day, you get them all in one. Absolutely. Some thoughts starters for you. I went scuba diving for my first time ever in a territorially.

contested area of a country where I legally wasn't supposed to be. What does that mean? I think, you know how they said like international waters? I think someone was claiming those waters. Anyway, they took me into a small cave system without warning. 27 years later, I am still scarred. That is scary. I've scuba dove once.

Yeah. Terrifying. No, thank you. Someone said snow skiing. Someone said, I took a red eye flight once. 27 years later, I'm still tired. Oh, yeah, they're hard. And you keep doing.

them thinking the next time will be better. They're never better. 100%. You're trying to save yourself 100 bucks. You're going to regret it. And this one I relate with, childbirth. True. Emily has text us. 04-8-8-18-1069. One time I went to a sushi train with my friend. We both decided we were going to try something new. I tried a clam and I didn't like it and I didn't want to swallow it.

And I said, what should I do? My friend said, just spit it back into the shell. But that made me laugh. So I spat it all over the soup. sushi train. It went everywhere. And now I can never return to sushi train. Okay, that makes sense.

Oh, that's the clam girl. That's the clam lady. Shannon has said, I tried Turkish delight once. The texture is just wrong. Never going to eat that again. What? I don't care for Turkish delight either. I love that. I love that.

Someone has just said, marriage. Tried it once. Never going to try it again. No follow up questions. Lea said Kael and we'll end with Robert on 048-18-1069. Something I tried once, never trying. again? Truning the boys downstairs. Clip them.

Cut myself, wouldn't stop bleeding for ages. Sack will never be the same again. Loll. This is Jess and Rowan. Cooker of the day. Get involved. Just send us a text. Even if you want to say hello, there was one guy on our DMs yesterday. He sent us a really lovely message. Oh, Brennan.

But I was my, I was sussed on it because is he trying to win the cooker of the day? He just loved the show this much. Oh, no. Rowland, don't have that attitude. I can't be out of that attitude. No. And I understand. Well, I was like, hmm. Yeah, that's because he's one of the great skeptics.

Don't let him infect you. Shy guy has infected me many a nice. He's still a lovely message. I know. Don't put ulterior motive. Shout out Brennan. Shout out Brennan. He's wife, Kirsty.

That was so lovely. We'll take constructive criticism as well, but if you want to send love, we're much more willing. Send the criticism to Shy guy. Yeah, directly. Shigai guy at Gmail. No. Shy guy at gmail. Copy that.

Is that real? Yeah, I made it. Really? Wow, to filter hate mail. Just trolling out. You're a pro man. I'm a separate inbox. Guys, just want to have,

a couple of things have happened to the gym, and I just want to talk about it. I have been noticing more people flex in front of the mirrors in the bathrooms. Hang on. There's usually a whole wall of mirrors in the gym. Why aren't they flex in there? They're just doing it in the private time. This is exactly my point.

People aren't really, the gym I go to, not a lot of mirrors. not like a big mirror gym. Oh, okay. There's mirrors, but it's not like a huge, you know, it's something that you go to them and the whole wall is just a mirror. A wall-to-wall mirrors. I used to do bodybuilding.

For a hot second, I thought I'd be a bodybuilder. The whole thing mirrored. Yeah, got to be. Because it's all about definition. I get it. Lately when I go to the toilet, there seems to be people in the toilet flexing. I come around the corner and it's if I've caught them.

Interesting. And they put it down. They stop and act like they're not doing it. They put it down. They're guns. shirt down mostly, like lifts it up and then do it like... Stop their flexing the ads. And then I'll come in the corner and they'll go...

Nasty to be fair. What are we doing, guys? Own it! I thought we were doing bicep. To pull up your shirt, I do want that happening in the bathroom. Don't do that in the gym floor. I've seen that. Well, why...

Hang on. Is it because they want to take a photo of it? They're too embarrassed to do it on the gym floor. There's no photo. They're just looking at themselves. In the bathroom. I guess if you just had a great pump on, you do want to. to see. Can you not wait five minutes?

Have I got another ab? I think if you are checking yourself pose at the gym, don't you think you should be owning it? Letting yourself flex midperson come around the corner and let them have a look at what you're flexing. Because who are you flexing for yourself? I mean, it's good for your confidence. It is good for your confidence. I actually don't know where to stand on this because, yeah, we go to the gym to feel good. It's a great mental health thing.

But of course we have the physical attributes. that come with having good workouts and stuff. You earn it. But standing there holding up your shirt, that is a little, a little floggy. But if you want to check yourself out, where else are we doing it? My point is, what's more floggy? Doing it by yourself in the bathroom or pretending like you weren't doing it when someone else walks in the back.

That's my problem. Oh, no. See, I want to acknowledge that roll and just come around the corner. I'm not just going to keep standing there and make dead eye contact with you. It's like I'm trying to pick you up. I would have mattress. I do want you to cover it. If you go,

sub, bro. And still flex it. What do you think? I go, dude, tight. Then we kiss. Punch me. Punch me in the belly. Then we kiss.

Well, that's hot. That's sexy. It's a head of rivalry thing. That's really interesting. Yeah, what do you think about that? How many times do you reckon? Three. I'm not the same dude.

No, on the third time. Third time I thought I'd got to bring in the show. Can you see yourself doing that? You've been working hard. I reckon I wouldn't be flexing in the mirror with my shirt. up at the gym at home. What about a bicep? Doing it, doing it.

I've never been a big bicep flex up. See, I do that. I try and get my try. Try's hot. Tries. Like, I do it. Whatever the pully down one is and then I go in the mirror and I'm like, look at that. When you hit the try, you also get a bit of shoulder too.

So you get a whole definition separation. Yeah. But you're right. You make eye contact with someone doing that. You just feel a bit showboating. Aren't you be flexed a bit in the mirror when you showgo? No. No, he takes selfies for that.

I have taken some progression shots. Progress shots, yeah? But I do that at home after the gym in my own. I'd be like you. But then we accidentally posted on the Jess and Rowan story and then people go, whoa, whoa, whoa, what was that little glimpse? No, it did. Yeah, it did.

Shygo was trying to show us a tech update. So I was filming over his shoulder. The tech update had something to do with the camera roll. Eagle-eyed cookers. We got a couple minutes. How many? In the space of five minutes it was. up. Not too many.

Oh, there was a few. Oh, please. There's just the ones I showed you. Cookers' dreams, seeing you on your progress first. Absolutely. There's screenshots now out of shy guy doing his progress shots in his camera roll. So why not just do it at the gym? Should we just lean in?

Yeah. Yeah. What? I just went, yeah. I don't know. Just wrap it up. This is Jess and Rowan. What did we stand on Disney making all these live action movies?

I don't support it because I just think make some more original movies. Oh, bro, you took the words right out of my mouth. The Disney animation teams are unbelievable. Disney movies, animated movies, are more often than not perfection. And yet after the success of every animated movie these days, five, six, seven years goes past, and then they announce, oh, live action, The Rock has just posted to his millions and millions of followers, July 10, Moana Live Action is coming to screens.

We have a trailer and play the trailer? I don't really want to support it, but I guess for context. We better hear it. If you're going to do this, you've got to go through a whole ocean of bad. I'm not a princess. I'm the daughter of the chief. Leader of my people. It's the same movie, right?

Moana is one of the greats. Moana is a flawless film. The Rock. As Maui, I reckon that's one of his best roles ever. And I don't want to take away because the chick playing Moana is an Aussie. Catherine Laga Aya, and I'm very excited for her. Now that, well, however, yeah, her dad's on Play School, big fan of Jay. Oh, that guy!

And we listen to his music, he does great kids' music on Spotify. I don't want to take away from them. Yeah, I don't support. But why do we need the live action? Who's it actually for? The animated version is perfect. There is a thing going around Hollywood and films at the moment is that no one is taking risk because there's no money.

But back in the day 20 years ago, they used to make all these things. And then they did really well, and then they would make sequels. But now... So Moana, very successful animated. They go, well, people liked it. But who's it actually for?

Because me as an adult who loved the animated, I'm not going to go watch the live action. And my daughter, who's two, I give you the hot tip, she's watching the animated. So who's going to the cinema? The Lion King was the same. The Aladdin, the same.

Who's actually watching the live actions? I don't understand who they're targeting. The people that already like Moana, they're targeting. But they just watch it again. Or is it because at the time this would have got made, because obviously they made years in advance, it was a rider's strike.

There's no rights to write anything here. Oh, yeah, that's a cute. That's right. Let's just restruct some of the animated stuff we had. So they've got now, and if I can be honest, the rock, obviously humongous dude, the animated Maui, way bigger. So seeing the rock as Maui, I'm like, he's not big enough.

But that's the real rock. So it's, it's just wicked me out. I don't. Oh, here we go, Heather. The rock looks silly with hair. You're absolutely right. Yeah, that's fair. But Maui has hair, so the live action,

The Rock has to have a wig. It's all very bizarre. They're all doing sequels, live actions or books. It's all they're doing. Well, what do we watch the other day? Fricking another Spider-Man with Tom Holland. Come on. Are there no original...

Don't be like a Marvel. Don't chat on Spider-Man, bro. It's Spider-Bassus the same. Isn't there no original thoughts out there? No. Oh, it upsets me. But if you are a Moana fan, maybe I'm just not a big enough fan.

July 10. the live action will be out and you can go see Catherine and the Rock. There's literally a trailer on the TV about a Yellowstone spin-off. There's already been five Yellowstone spin-offs. The 1923 and the 1867. Even Landman. It's a bit too similar for me. 2076 in space.

Cowlestone in space. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Blang on 8 o'clock is the great Joe looking to go on a family. on a holiday to the North Pole slash, I'd never heard of it. Lapland. Hello, Joe. Hi, Joe.

Why do you want to go to Lapland? It's just on the family to-do list. And, like, we see it every time on the shows, and we're like, we really want to go there. It looks bloody magical. We've just done some Googling. It's a place in Finland. Oh, my God. Will you stay in an igloo?

Oh, give anything at crack. Give anything at crack. Really? Is there penguins there? I think so. You'd hope so. I'd hope so, wouldn't you? Like polar bears? I'm not sure.

They're violent. They're clear from them and they're violent. They'll bite your face off. A region of North Finland. Well, I love an education. This is fantastic. Joe, let's get your 10 grand to get you and the farm to Lapland. The letter you're going to work with today is M, M for magical winter wilderness.

Nice. You're ready to rock. Okay. Your time. Let's do it. Let's do it. Your time will start now after the first question. Starting with the letter M, we need you to name. A cocktail.

Margarita. A zoo animal. Monkey. An actor. Michael Mahoney. A periodic element. Ah. What are we got?

Sport. Sport. Oh, no. Bro, there's only 30 seconds. I don't know how much time you thought you had. We were here all day with Joe. Some good answers in the end, but we didn't get through. Michael McConaughey.

Well, not Michael McConaughey, but Margarita eventually. Yeah, Margarita was good. That is the longest I've ever heard anyone take on the first question. That's someone who forgot there's a timer. Yes. You know, this is a time game at its core. Sorry, Joe. Sorry, Joe.

No lap land for. Joe, at least not an hour dollar. Yeah. Periodic element, mercury, magnesium. Sport. Do we even get to sport? I think I asked it, but the time of it. You got a sport there, mate? For M? I said maths.

I said maths. It's a TV show. What are we doing? Go stick your head. I'm going for a margarita. Go stick your head. Go for a margarita towel. And pay for it yourself because we're not giving you a dime.

Thank you, Joe. Thanks for playing. See you guys. See you, mate. See you, Joe. Thanks for the education on Lapland. Back again tomorrow. 7 and 8 o'clock, alpha box.

Sorry, Rowan, I've just cast my eye back to the Google search on Lapland. You know that tab, other things that people have asked, can I wear jeans in Lapland? Can you? Oh my God, cotton and denim

should be avoided. Oh, actually, it's an important. Wow. No jeans in Lapland. I think it's bad for the snow, maybe. The snow? We'll make more. Oh, well, are they? Maybe not. We're obviously doing a waiter race April 1, not April Fool's.

It's not an April Fool. We are doing it. We're just going to do some more wait to chat next. You went cooker of the day if you get involved, though. What did the waiter spill? We'll talk about that next. I'm Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan.

We are doing a waiter race. So it is the event that kicks off the month and we're the only team that isn't a restaurant allowed to partake. Jess, Rowan, shy guy and babbs. We're a relay team. And we are going to run a tray of, I'm assuming, rosé. I don't know what other beverage you would possibly run to a table. Have we got a confirmation of wine glass or are they stubbies?

We need to get, well, this event. Margarita's easy, so easy. Rowan, this event originates from France. I can't imagine it's margaritas or stubbies. It's going to be a wine glass. What we need to confirm is the Baton Exchange. I don't know if you are waiting 25 metres with your own tray or you have to take my tray off me. Because that...

We need to confirm all these details. We need to confirm all these details because we just signed the application and did read nothing further. Interesting. But we are a little concerned with our lack of waitering experience. You've had a little bit in a pub. I've had heaps. I worked in a restaurant. You did work in a restaurant.

I used to work in a really busy Irish pub at the bottom of Whistler Mountain. Jesus. So you're taking Tray's a Guinness around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this would be a bloody breeze for you. Some Paddy's Day, when I was living with, so is one of the greatest days of my life. Is there any way, shy guy, that Rowan can just run the whole thing for us? No, I'm not running.

Do us three even need to touch it? My ankle already hurts thinking about it. It's not a real either. You can log it. You're right, but I just, he's clearly. Unless he did like, I haven't done it a long time. 90 meters. I haven't done it.

Oh, two each to finish it off. Oh, that's nice. I haven't done it. So, Labbs has only done a bit of Guzmane-Gomez drive-thru Wadering, and I've never carried a trade drinks in my life, sure, never.

Never. So the chances for spillage are going to be high. And I think if you spill a drop, you're disqualified. Yeah. Let alone, then the OHNS of breaking glass on the street where we're running. But we thought we'd ask,

have you ever been in a situation? Yeah. Or a way to spill something on you. I've spilled heaps of stuff before. A couple of them. One, one, one, I didn't do it a lot, but in Canada, I remember I spilt, to be fair, the kitchen did a really shitty job of making it.

But I, I angled, they put too much Guinness Pie in the Guinness Pie and the hot meat Guinness Pie dribbled over and went down this, this like lady's leg. So what, it was too watery as you tried to deliver? Too much of it. And they used to put them on these like really heavy wood planks to make them like authentic. and they were in a cast iron pot. The whole thing was so heavy. So the thing out of the oven onto the plank of wood,

and that's what you're having to deliver. And then they all, and then so you like have to put it down on the table. And then as it went, a little bit came up and then went down and fully burn her leg. Oh, the Aussie expat waiter. No more Guinness Pies on your shift. Done a couple of like chicken wings down the back type vibe. Oh, do you know how hard it is to get buffalo sauce out of a shirt? The good thing is, in a ski field.

Everyone's still wearing the jackets and stuff. So it just goes on the jacket. Ah, it's fine. Wipe it off because it's all cortex anyway. It's all fine. As if you could even feel it, all those layers of padding, you'd probably get away with it. Just wipe them down. They're none the wiser.

Totally. But it's always funny, isn't it, when you see someone drop a tray? As long as you're not the one being dropped on. I'm happy to see that from afar. I don't want to be spilled time. And you can't be too angry because it's obviously an accident. Obviously an accident. But if I get a tray of champagne dropped in my lap, give you what?

I'm not happy about it. I think if you're being too over-ambitious and you drop it, I think, ha-ha, poo you. But I think if you're taking two or three and you're trying your best, that's okay. You're trying your best. I mean, everyone's first shift at some point. Totally. So 131060, I guess we need the horror stories to maybe straighten us up,

to take this event seriously so we don't drop our trays in the way to race. Yep, 131060. This is Jess and Rowan. Good on 131060. What did the waiter spill? Were you the waiter? Did they spill something on you? We're doing the waiter race.

It all blends in to the show. You get it. Rowan admitting Guinness Pie all over an unsuspecting lady. Just a dribble? Just a dribble. But then. But enough to be annoying. Oh.

Oh, no, just a couple of wings off the side. Maybe some of the ranch dressing. Oh. I don't waste any ranch. Mop that up. Bring that. Oh. Yummy, yummy in my tummy.

Charlotte. Good morning. How are you, Charlotte? I like this. You were the waitress who went slippy-dippy. I was. I was. I worked in hospitality for a while, so I was very disappointed when I did this.

I was working a wedding and one of the groomsmen's red wine all down his white shirt. I mean, at least it wasn't the bride, but the groomsman, he's got to be in photos. God forbid he's making a speech. How do you even recover from that, Charlotte? You run to the call room, have a bit of a mental breakdown and then go back. That's it. I didn't mean, actually, you. I meant the gruesman.

How does the groomsman? Oh, sorry, Gruzman. I appreciate Charlotte. Who cares? He was actually all right. He, like, was very apologetic. He was already a bit drunk. He was apologetic to you.

Blamed him. Nice one, Charlotte. Ah, red wine. See, I hope we're not running red wine, Rowan. You want to be running white wine, bubbles, or. rosé and a mass. We need to find out, because if it's red wine, I reckon we'd just go black. Attire?

That's not bad. Or white and I'll throw it up here. Kelly, good morning. Good morning. Another waitress, self-confessing. What happened with you, Kel? I was serving these, a table of businessmen, and one was getting a bit flirty. Anyway, I had a tray of drinks, and then I took, I said, I had the second last one that I put down,

But as I put down the second last drink on the table, I tilted up the tray on my hand and the tall glass full of beer fell down the guy's back that was flirting with me. So I kind of thought it to be a calmer. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, Kelly's like, I don't know what happened. It just tipped over.

This is the way you get him to cool off. Wow. Right, Kelly. There you go. Did she have to get him out of a beer, though? No, I think I did. Yeah, yeah. She's a professional.

Kelly's a profession. I like this one from A. me on the text line, Ron. Yep, yep, yep. Firstly, she said, love the show. Appreciate that, Amy. Thanks, darling. She said, I went to a nice Italian restaurant

for my birthday. Lovely. She's there celebrating. Not only did the waiter forget my order, so I was left waiting while everyone else started digging in. When it finally arrived, he managed to tip the plate as he set it down,

spaghetti bolognaise, straight into my lap. You'd be furious when you? I said, what did you do? She goes, well, I scooped it back into the bowl and ate it. Very grumpy. Probably it's a free meal. not got, well, they offered to pay for the dry cleaning, said Amy. Happy birthday.

Surely you're getting your comp, spaghetti lap, ball and a. If you have to eat it out of your crutch, sure. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, there is something happening on the internet that is... Pawn block? We've been over this, man. Yeah, we have, we have been over the porn. Many times, you keep sharing the hacks you have to get around it.

That's not that. There's some ways. On the 10th of February, on this very program, we talked about a bean dish, a controversial bean dish. That's quite the staple in my household. If you are unaware, the bean dish originates from an ex-X, X, X, lover of mine, an Italian bloke. The relationship lasted about three months, but this bean dish has endured for nearly two decades. I love this dish, all right?

We talked about it at length, and you said, post the recipe so the people can see it, all right? Great video. 10th of Feb. It's been nearly two months. Over 200,000 views, 170 plus comments. 7.2,000 saves. Has it only 200,000 views? Only?

What do you mean? That's unbelievable. For all the saves and the shares, we should have like a million. Oh, wow. Okay, well, I thought that was very impressive. It is impressive. 7.2,000 saves. Yeah, it's a lot of sales.

But there's something happening in the comments that even after, nearly two months, it's freaking me out a little bit, Rowan. All right, let's go over. I've noticed the past week or so, randoms, they're not following us.

Yep. They're not cookers. All right, so it's gone on some side of the internet. A bunch of people have commented tagging a bloke. A bloke that goes by

the plant slant. Now I'm going, what's, do you know the plant slant? No, but I can see what this is going. I'm seeing people. tag the plant slant. And I'm like, is this a friend that they want to encourage to make the bean dish? I click on the plant slant. His name's Liam Layton. He's got 1.7 million followers on his own

platform. Oh my God, he does. Good rig, too. This is a little bit. So the plant slant's whole stick, Rowan, it appears, people tag the plant slant in other cooking videos on Instagram. Right. And he goes in and tears them to shreds. So this is one little bit. I got you a little bit of the plant slant. So you can get his vibe. I keep getting tagged in this guy eating 3,000 calories worth of peas. Are you just asking my thoughts?

It's a lot of peas. It's too many. It's too many peas. But if you're asking me to try this, no thank you. Like, you guys comment, you can say no to things. You have no idea how often I do. An insufferable American doing shitty reviews. Yeah, so his whole thing, Rowan, is exactly like getting tagged in other videos.

him stitching, recording his reaction, debunking, having a go, I guess generating a little bit of, I'm going to say negative attention, even hate for the original creator. Why are people tagging the plant slant man in my bean dish? It's freaking me out and I don't want to... How many tags you got your record? Oh, like seven, eight. Starting a slant.

Exactly. I'm like, why are people trying to get me in trouble with the plant slant? because he doesn't do many, this is delicious, thumbs up to the original creator. It's like they're trying to get me in trouble. And I don't like it. It does kind of look like he,

he looks like he hates everything. It looks like he kind of comments on a lot of beans stuff though. Oh, okay. Oh, he just put up a video about, it says, Dietitian Healthy Hack. I've seen this. You blend white beans into pasta sauces.

So maybe. Hey, someone said we should do that with the bean dish said you could make a pasta sauce out of this. So do you think. He's just started, he's just on an arc about doing beans in dishes. Oh. As he's drinking as Celsius, which doesn't look healthy at all. Oh, so it's okay.

I genuinely shy guy got my backup socks. He looks like he's mad on high fibre dishes at the moment. I thought they were trying to get me in trouble. I thought they were trying to get me cancelled with my bean dish because a couple of other people, Rowland. He's wearing a baked bean hat. Oh, maybe they're just trying to connect two bean aficionados. Oh my God the bean guy. Rowland, because a couple of comments, again, not cookers.

just haters have gone, too much sodium for me. Well, then don't make it. So I've put those two things together thinking they're trying to get the plant slant man to yell at me for how much sodium. It's then enshrined the freaking beans. I think it'd be good for the show.

It'd be great for the show. I hope he... If he yells at me. Definitely. Even if he does, it's 1.7 million followers that we didn't have before. Totally. That's true.

But then I don't want no bean haters coming at me. We're for joy and light. You'll have to do another bean dish to show them how good you are with the beans. Oh my God, there's fibre on the TV right now. What is going on? Everyone's talking about fibre, baby.

So can everyone just stop? But why didn't they tag the plants lamp being, Hey, plants lent, another bean-o. He just tagged people. No one gives you. He just tagged.

He's probably been sent it a bunch to it. He's DMs. Yeah, mate. Oh, there's been a lot of sense. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, okay. So you think it's okay. Yeah, it's fine.

Oh, okay. I just was like, stop trying to get me in trouble with the plants. Because even if, even if he has a problem with it, hopefully he posts about it. I'm a people please of Rowan. I can't have people yelling at me or not liking me.

Who cares? Isn't it this good? It's so good. And I also don't need to hear how much salt is in it. Shut up. Okay. I don't like that guy. I mean, maybe I do it.

Hey, what else do you got on there? Oh, me, let's see if he reviews our video. Then we'll see if we like that. Okay, okay. This is Jess and Rowan. Who? Who? Jess and Rowans. Cookup of the day.

Yes, every day. Normally it's every one a week. We awarded on Friday, but this week, thanks to the legends at Newcastle Food Month. They're generous. They're fun. And they love to see people having a good time. Hell yeah. A night's day at the Crystal Brook Kingsley with breakfast, dinner and parking.

Parking's important. $250 spending money so you can enjoy one of the plate dates. Maybe to put it towards an event. I've got recommendations. Good one. And $200 for some with our friends at Charlestown Square. Get yourself a new fit. Nice.

Maybe get yourself some stretchy pants. You'll need it to get through April. Smart. Honourable mention to a lot of the contributions, particularly a lot of the women at the depths of the show who gave me toilet training advice. Thank you for that. Oh yeah, what do you think of me doing about that?

You reckon just go-undice? I think we're going to go buy some special undies and we'll see if she's... See if she's into it. For anyone who missed it, I'm obviously talking about my two-year-old, not for me. Take it off. Well, what I do? What did I do? Well, I just said the toilet training advice.

I don't want people to think what to my you, just clarified for the time. two-year-old in my life. My girlfriend would tell you that I maybe do need some toilet training. Never mind. Clean up after yourself. You're a grown man. It's just a big joke in the house that wrong.

Poo's himself all the time. Sorry, never mind. We know all the time. About the day. He's lost control. He's old now, you know. That's how we started the show, so that's how we're ending the show. Never mind.

We asked this morning around seven, what's something you've tried once? And you thought, no, not for me. Mm-hmm. Some great contributions there. But Robert. Robert made us laugh. Robert said, trimming the boys downstairs. Cut myself, couldn't stop bleeding for ages.

My sack will never be the same again. Well, Robert, your sack gets to enjoy the Christopher Kingsley. Yeah. And I would even go so far to say the way he used sack, got him to win. I like sack. Sack is very funny. You what? I like the phrase, Sack, when referring to the testes.

Don't be thrown out that you like Sack. You all like Sack. Do we? Well. They might be members of our community who do not. Why, shog I smile on so heavy. I don't know. Just a bit of fun, guys.

Congratulations, Robert. Thank you for that contribution. Save our number team. It's that easy to win great prizes. 04-8-8-1069 is the text line. Hell yeah, that is back again. Tomorrow, same prize. You get involved with the show.

$1,200 worth. We win it. Shy Guy dips on tomorrow. Oh, my God. He'd be dipping. He'd be dipping. We'll be back tomorrow from 6, everyone. Goodbye.

Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Macas Bistro. Anaise Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.