Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - I reckon you can pick a spitter from a lineup

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

Jess wants a man arrested, Rohans stopped showering and the team get a tarrot reading!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you again for tuning in. If you haven't already, please hit follow.

Please rate us five. Even if you don't really care that much, the five stars helps us a lot. I'm just going scrolling up the text chain. Rowan. You got some text? What's going on? Now, there's one. I want to confirm it's reread.

Who wants the tarot, babe. I've already got her card. I pulled it. Oh, I almost lost all of them. I pulled the card out earlier today to do a reading. You did? I just want to triple check. I love this little pod special.

I like a pod special too. I need to get back in the mood with the music and the lights. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, it is going out to Riri. Yes, okay. She wants a tarot reading. She's going to the full moon eclipse tonight.

Oh, yeah, okay. So she's obviously in this space. Smart. This is going out to you. So we've dimmed the lights. We've also got party lights on which other makes sense. Yeah, shy guy doesn't quite understand the vines. I think if you're in a cheap charro place, you've got this light.

Oh, dude, you're so right. They would do this. And the bead at the door. For re-reet? For re-reet? Yeah. For re-reys? This is for re-reiber.

I've pulled the card out ready. Okay, interesting. R-read it says six of thought. What does six of thought mean? The number six. of thought. I don't know what that means. Babs, here is the book.

Please find where it says six of thought. Oh, my God, there's an accompanying. Let me read. You know what also called? I didn't want to derail. Thank you. Because I am famous for it. Sure.

But you said tarot cards, yeah? That's what these are? I don't think they are, my darling. Guardian angel tarot cards. Angel cards, I think are different. But this says tarot cards. Yeah, I know, but angel, angel, I think he's different. So these are angel tarot cards.

The tarot, I thought, straight up tarot, bit futuriary, bit premonitiony, bit palm readery. Angel, and if the cards you pulled for us are to be believed, it's kind of like who's watching over you, who's got your back. I'm going to have a pack here. It's called Oracle cards. Oh, that might be a whole other thing. I might have to message my friend Mel, who works at the crystal shop. Babs, so this is the angel tarot. Well, I'll read out what it says on here and then you may have to interpret it.

The Six of Thought. peaceful times are on the horizon. The storms have passed and now you can see that your destination, Rerey, is within sight. The stress in your life will begin to fade away, allowing for happier times. It may be necessary to take a journey over water or to another country. Over water. Could be Tazzy. Something's going on there, Rerey.

Just over the straight or to another country. Babs, do you have a... Any sort of any more on that. Pretty much exactly what you said. There's a little summary here. It says basically the card means peace after challenging times. What's with the accompanying book when the description's on the card? Just a bit of air.

I think if you want to dive into it, you can do the book. It's a deeper dive. It's pretty cool. Look up, shy guy, while you're just pretending to send emails. Can you look up with... Can you look up... What the difference is. I have, that's exactly what I've got open.

Did you see someone have also texted in and said it's bad you to do it today because it's the blood mood? There's always bad due. And because they're not your card deck. Apparently you're not meant to... Oh, you fuck this all. Oh, fuck. Why would you say this now before I just told Rui-R-W hurt?

Anyway, they are mine. Because what's hers is mine and what's mine is hers. Apparently, it's based on marriage. So, what's yours? He's not hers. If she left me, the government would go, give a half. De facto. Anyway, the, um...

R-R-R-R-E. The difference between the cards. An Oracle card deck varies in size, focuses on positive affirmations, encouragement and spiritual healing. Right. Whereas the other ones are used for indebted. analysis of life's complexity.

So that's an in-depth analysis. An angel. What did you Google? Angel card is the second one. But what did you Google? What's the difference between angel cards and regular tarot cards? It's an angel tarot card. Yeah, it is.

You're right. Okay. Also have an Oracle card here. Take this book quickly because I'm going to bring out Rear's Oracle as well. We didn't even get an oracle. Yeah, can we get oracles? No, all right now. Oh, no, no.

Are we just pissing off the blood moon even more? Should we hold this for tomorrow? Can you piss off the moon? We'll need a top for tomorrow's pot. Your oracle as well, where it is. Oh, acceptance oracle. Great. That's quite interesting if we're going the support and challenging karma times after,

and now you've got the acceptance. So you must accept these new times. I've forgotten what my angel card was, but now I want an Oracle as well. See if they're invited. Did you want to check? Yeah, you want to try find acceptance while I give Jess. Oh, what is it? Everything happens for a reason, even though the reason may seem unclear to us.

Trust in the universe and accept all in your life as it unfolds. Okay, well, that's what acceptance means. I feel like that could have fit on the card. It could have fit on the card. Like the angel one. Just your oracle. Hit me, hit me. Is the om.

That's what my tat means. No, your tat means like fried chicken and stuff. Yeah, but allegedly what I, my intention was, oh, man, I had my own. Oh, wow. Which is the full version of that chance. Babs, do you have the om there? I did a 10-day meditation train, tiger.

I know you did. I don't doubt that. What's in the crowd? It's here to remind you of the unlimited, creative power, healing and wisdom that can be assessed through this sacred sound. Right. Try the following meditation any time you feel low on energy or out of balance in any way. So it gives you a little... Never low on energy.

You got that stuff. And then it gives you the whole... All money paid my own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Okay, that's good. Very good. Yeah.

I'll have our engineer just walked past going, what are they doing? The lights are off and there's a weird disco ball. Are we doing it? Because Rowan has missed out. Oh, okay. What one? Well, I need an Oracle, too. What would you like?

Yeah, I want an Oracle. Oh, we're doing that now as well? No, you guys can do it off. Do it. No, no, it's long, been long enough. Rowan, I want to do yours on the pot. What, angel card? Whichever you'd prefer.

Do you want an angel? Do you want an Oracle. Do you have to shuffle like we're playing poker? Well, I think, I reckon you're meant to shuffle. Yeah, okay. It needs your energy. I did shuffle that a bit. Like, to be fair, everything you've pulled, I think it's for you.

Interesting. Even though you've read it to us. You've pulled it. So what I'm going to do, split this. deck give you one of me. Oh, right. Like a David Blaine type of trick. Cool a magic trick kind of vibe out.

What did you get? I got the Lotus Rose. Oh! What does that mean? It's very vaginal. That feels extremely vaginal. Don't you think? Lotus Rose for Rowan.

This card is a blessing from the universe. This card heralds a time of positive change that it's about to unfold in your life. Deep and profound changes which occur at the heart level. I'm doing it. I'm doing it right now. Your heart's opening. I reckon that card's a lot. Hey, that card's about three months late.

Yeah, I think so. You had some positive change when Jay's called. You said, hey, new opportunities. Got the job, baby. But that means more change. I said, well, we're going to have to work on the salary packaging. I'm going to have to work on the... More positivity coming your way.

Maybe Lucy will propose to you. Would you say yes if she got down on one knee? That is a great question. Thank you. That's the best compliment you can give a broadcaster. I think if she felt the need to ask me to get married. Yeah. I think I'd say yes.

How do you feel about her on one knee in front of you? Oh, big ick. So maybe I'd have to take a minute, I think. I think if she, like, bottled up all of this to go, will you marry? I could stand up, you weirdo. And like proposes with a watch. You see that episode of Neighbors? No.

One of them proposed with a watch. I was like, fucking get a ring. Get a ring. That was great. I was like, the boy needs a ring too, anyway. It's an aura ring. It's an a... That's what Angus wanted as his wedding band.

You know that story. Anyway, enjoy the show. We've got more tarot to do off air. Woo. Have fun. Welcome. We've got for Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast.

Do you know Jess? I've got two balls. You'll get to know Rowan. What am I a piece of meat? It's covered in ink. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will.

That squawking fatty. And Rowan. You like what I did that. This is Jess and Rowan. Welcome to Tuesday. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, Rowan. I'm so glad to have started this fine Tuesday with a learning. Oh, yeah, great.

I paid shy guy what I thought I owed him. We made a bet. yesterday. I lost the bet. I thought I owed him a 20. Sent it over and he went, whoa, whoa, you've given me too much. Like it was the worst thing I could have done to him. Like I'd slapped his mother in front of him.

Yeah. I was like, well, just keep it. I allegedly it was $10 yesterday, we bet. Put it in credit, but you have just educated me. That is bad juju. Yeah, you don't keep money in bad juju. Although, were you going to tell Jess about the $10? Shy guy? As in...

That I paid to. too much. Yeah. Well, he did tell me. Yeah. But didn't you bring it up? No, I got the notification. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say. I was like, hang on, this is too much. Yeah. He said it immediately. Oh, I thought you did it yesterday.

Well, to be honest, I was meant to do it yesterday. I completely forgot. I've told you about the child coughing at night time. So literally at 1 a.m. I was attending her and I literally sat bolt upright, like Miss Clavel in Madeline and went, something is not right. I did not pay my debt to shy guy. Yeah.

So I set an alarm. Pay shy guy for like 5.30 a.m. But I paid him too much. So you cannot keep like... No, I don't think so. It's bad juju. So bet credit. Because I went, I'll bet you again.

Just keep $10 in mine and we bet again. No, just pay him again. Yeah. So he's just transferred me the 10 back. Yeah, smart man. That's very interesting. Thank you for the education. I don't want bad juju.

No way. No. It's not worth it, man. Not this early in the day. No, no, no. How are you? Good, thanks. I thought I heard footsteps around my house this morning.

Now, I think of it, but I think it might have just been a cat. In your house, though, that's still free. No, no, no. Do I say in a minute? Outside of a house. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. I think it was a cat.

Hang on, you're not mixing up human footsteps with cat footsteps. How heavy? How big was this cat? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? There are some fat cats running around this neighbourhood. Let me tell you that right now. They're getting fed by a couple of neighbours. Every night, every night without fail, Lucy goes, do you that?

Oh, I couldn't live with something like that. I go. Every night. I go every night. I'm now going, no. Have you got a creaky house? It's an older. The older house we're in over there,

much creakier, a little bit haunted. We should talk about at one point. We should. But this one, it's fine. This one's not very creaky. And are you the kind of boyfriend? All right. I'll get the baseball bat.

Nope. Circle the perimeter. No. Make sure there's nothing. No one out there. Because I'd be doing it every night. I'm not circling the house with a baseball bat every night. Do you have a weapon under the bed?

Are you allowed to say? Yeah. No, it's about 12 inches. It shakes and it's long and jabby. It's like a mini golf club. What are you thinking of? Well, you did in foot under the bed. That would be a feat of magicity.

To the Tadio show. It's that clip. No, what's that clip? Of Carl Stephanovic. I think it's Deb Knight. No, it's Deb night. It's very old that restaurant. He goes, what do you keep it home?

A few generations ago. She goes, Pete's my jabby thing. Carl Lose. Long stabby thing, I think is a close. Long stabby. Geez, you really know your Deb Knight references, don't you, Shai? That was a cultural moment for you. The reason I just don't know, it's too busy crying, laughing at it while watching it.

You're going to need to get it up for me, Shadda. Angus used to keep Old Yeller under the bed, which was a steel baseball bat. Oh, wow. Yeah. Interesting. I don't know where Old Yeller ended up. I mean, it must be the house. Maybe we should give it to you.

If Lucy's spooked. No, I don't have. You don't need it. No. You got the long stabby thing like Dead Knight. Yeah, I'm okay. Okay. I'll be right. I'll be okay. Have you found it, shy guy?

Yeah. It's the fastest Googling you have done. Do you get a little bit, do you like noises outside? Bro, I am the heaviest sleeper known to me. Oh, you're fine. I could sleep through. I could sleep through a hurricane, trolly. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm surprised my alarm wakes me up, to be honest. Really? Yeah. There was a period of time for Lucia's first, like, 18 months of life. I did not wake up to her crying. What a bad mom.

Sweet. That's a great thing. That's a great thing. Now I've gotten better, purely out of guilt. Is it just a loud alarm? Because I do the woop alarm in my wrist. Ah, so it vibrates your wrist. Yeah, no, I used to have that soft little chime.

Harpy think wasn't enough. Really? Now I need like, you know. Bam, bam, bar, bar. Oh, because Angus going, wake up. Yeah, basically. Woman, wake up. Basically.

Hey, big show today, guys. Stood on a half bucks, seven, eight o'clock. Babs's blog is back. Good morning, Babs. Morning. Are you ready for the blog? Yeah, I'm ready. Great.

Do you know what I'll do the blog? I mean, I guess that's what I asked. Do you have any idea what it is? I don't know what it is. No, I did. Do you want to give us a headline, Babs? Sure. Life's getting a little bit too serious.

Serious. Well, hey, welcome to the real world, babe. That's what happens. I was going to say, you've come to the right place if you'd like to unsirious your life. The Jess and Rowan program. Yeah, that's us. Next, we'll be talking about ladies in a match. That's right.

Shy guy has labelled this a bit culty. Babs and I have labelled it. Labelled it. Awesome. I'll make my mind up next. And Jess and Rowan, morning. This is Jess and Rowan. Something that shy guy has labelled culty.

Something Babs and I have labelled. Awesome. Right. I would like your hot take on what seven Chinese women have done this week. Seven Chinese women? Seven Chinese women? Sweet. Sounds like the start of a joke, but it's not.

This actually happened. Seven Chinese women walk into an auction. And? By a mansion. Really? With which to live in together without their male spouses. Oh. The plan allegedly was hatched in 2008.

Yeah. And at first it was a joke where they were all sort of in relationships and they went, ladies, when we're 60, let's ditch the men, whether they're dead or not, let's just all come back together as our friendship group. buy a house and see out our golden years together. Kind of like the golden girls. Sister wives or something. What does that infer that they were doing it?

Yeah, they're all together. I think it's just friends. I just wanted to clarify. I think it's one husband, all the wives. None of this article suggests there is romantic relationships between the seven Chinese friends. Seven of them. A couple of them got to be doing it.

Why? Seven of them. I think they're bored. There's not like the study, like one in seven women. I just Yeah, Beck and Jenny are like into each other. Famously,

very traditional Chinese names. You give me two. Do you have two names? I'm worried about being racist because my friends, I know my friend's Vietnamese. My friend Anna is Vietnamese, but I know her Vietnam. It's hard pothole.

Sun Mai, but I'm not sure that could. Great name. But I'm not sure that relates because it's a different country. Because you don't want to, what did you say? Chinese? Chinese? You want to say Japanese names? No, absolutely not.

Absolutely not. They're different countries. We're in the city of Guangzhou. Okay. I've travelled through Guangzhou. Really? Yep. It's like a fun place.

I couldn't tell you the airport was all right. A lot of Chinese food in the airport. I love Chinese food. They had a very clear vision for their little piece of paradise. They bought a property, got a loan because it needed a bit of work. Four million yuan. It's only about 600,000 Australian. renovated it into the home of their dreams,

a little piece of paradise. Has a pool, a tea pavilion? Sick. Accessed by a walkway through the fields. They all adore tea, it says. And each other, it sounds like, what happened to the men? Where are the men?

I'm reading ahead. Where are the men? Hang on, the video shows men dining with them. Hang on a minute. I thought they got rid of the men. I think they have men come over as guests. So these... Oh.

Oh, to satisfy their needs. Yeah. Oh, and they've got children who also live in the house. It's like they just flick the men. It's like they're almost still married to the fellas. But they went, you know what? I want to go live with my girlfriends. So you stay here in this house.

You know a lot of couples when they're a bit older, either start sleeping in separate beds just to get a good night's sleep because she's finally sick of his storing? My parents do. Ah, there you go. It's almost like these women have got, you know what? Sorry, Karen, would you listen? I don't think you want to know that.

Sounded that one. Tad how I get paid. How about it. The next step for Karen would be to just hook up with her version of Beck and Jenny And go, you know what? Oh, yeah. Karen, Sonia, Kimmy. They're all getting the house.

Good morning to Sonia and Kimmy. They're all getting the house. No disrespect, Richard. Dad Richard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, no disrespect, Richard. I still love you. She still want to be married to you, but I want to live my days with the ladies.

I don't even know if she'd go that far. What say you, Rowan, Colty like shy guy or awesome like Babs and I. I think it's fantastic. I think it is a bit much and two of them are definitely getting it on. least. You reckon? Yeah. We cook together, barbecue in the fields, sing and collect food in the village.

We joke that each of us should practice one skill so that we won't be lonely. There we, listen here. Some can cook beautiful food, some know traditional Chinese medicine, some play instruments and some grow vegetables. Listen, I don't know the sisterhood that well. Like, you know, as men, we don't know the sisterhood as well. Yeah, seven dudes doing this in their 60s. They'd be getting on for sure.

This is Jess and Rowan. I want to get you across a conversation happening on the Parents Together Instagram feed. I wasn't following this, but you know how your algorithms now just batten up anything? It's like, I don't follow 90% of what I see on Instagram, but Instagram's decided you need to see this. Yeah, you'd like this. So if someone posted on Parents Together, it got re-shared. To pregnant women's waters break outside of the United States of America? I don't know.

Just seems kind of America. And the internet has come for this lady. An Australian woman is the first to reply. I'm an Aussie. Yes, our waters break, but we're in the southern hemisphere. So our waters break clockwise instead of counterclockwise. That's true. I heard that.

Hope this helps. He heard that, yeah. Someone from Finland replies. Yes, our waters break, but we try to get to the hospital before they do because otherwise the chances are the waters would freeze because it's so cold here. and the ice block would prevent the baby from coming out of the womb. Like a big ice plug, of course. In Sweden, Swedish woman has contributed to this conversation.

Our babies come flat-packed and are named Billy or Elba, accompanied by an Alan Key. This also comes out when the water's break. And their first word is what, Shagga? He. He. Which is just hay. Sorry, one more time. Hege.

Seyge. Yeah, I think it's just hay. I think it's just hay. It's a bit of it. Anyway. Utah. So this is someone from within the states answering the American women. They get down a bit weird in Utah.

Yeah, it is. Are they one of those places that have tried to separate from the mainland? Like, we're our own thing. No, I don't know. It's where all the Mormons are. It's full Mormon there, yeah. When your water breaks here, it is immediately used to power data centers so people can use AI to generate pictures of themselves as pioneers.

Sounds like someone from Utah. I would say that. Is that a Salt Lake City reference? Like the home of... Salt Lake City. Yeah, it's it. In Jamaica, and a Jamaican woman has got in touch on this thread. Come on.

Babies come out of coconut water. Sweet. Instead of amniotic fluid and each child emerges holding a piece of jerk chicken. The breach babies that come out feet first, they are the ones who end up with Olympic world records. Breaching. Breach babies. And finally, a South African woman has got in touch. We have a water shortage, so we don't waste water.

Our waters do not break here. Okay. Masmania, they come out with two heads. Sorry. I didn't get to that on the parents together thread. I don't say that one there. No, don't say that one. Do you want to contribute?

That was just my head. That was just gone. This is Jess and Rowan. And this is my blog. Commenced Operation Superstar Brat. She's in the room with us. Hello Babs. Good morning.

Can you feel that energy shift? Yeah. That's bright energy. Brat energy. So true. Good morning. Brat girl. Well, guys.

We're ready. Life's just getting a bit serious and I'm just really feeling old. Old? At 24. Well, 24, almost 25. Your girl has to get her first cervical screening. Okay. Gotta get the screening.

I got to get the screening. That's right. That's right. Servical screening. The artist formerly known as the smear. Ah, so it's not called. the smear anymore. They re-branded the smear because they realized women scared of the smear weren't going for the smear.

So they've now changed it to cervical screening or pap test. Or the pap test. Anyone called it a pap test for you? No. So I got this really sad letter in the mail to say that because I'm turning 25. Oh yeah, right. It's time. It's time.

It's time we get up in there. Cervical screening does sound a lot better than patched. Shmere. Shmere. Like, yeah, it's fine. I know it's so important. And so obviously I'm going to do it. But I think it's the fact that I got a letter in the mail to say that I have to do something medical.

I was like, oh, what? Do you? To your rental abode or like to your mum and dad's house? No, to my mum and dad. So when I went there the other day, I was like, oh, a letter's come for me. Like, this never happens over there. And it's like, it's time. It's from New South Wales Health.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, this is a bit serious. Yes, it's in black and white. It's not like an email that you just quickly delete. This one's actually purple. It's quite a nice letter actually. Off the girls. It's a little image of like the thing.

Was it handwritten? No, but it's like got cool, funky font and I was like, oh, okay, maybe I will get it. I love that. There's a PR team around the smear trying to make it more interesting, more fun, maybe a little less daunting. Yeah, well, I still feel pretty scared about it, but my housemates think it's the funniest thing ever because I hung it up on my fridge. Well, you've got to remember.

Yeah, well, I said to them, look, this is. is what this is just so you know, but I put it on the fridge because otherwise I will forget. They're like, ha ha ha, don't need 25. You know, it paps me. I'm like, it's real funny, guys. Are you the oldest in your household of the renters? Yeah. So my other housemate is 22, 23.

Oh, she's miles off. Yeah, and then the other one is still 21. Oh, I know. She's a baby. Why don't you know, are you not allowed to have the screening until you turn 25? I don't know how that works. It's not allowed. It's recommended that it becomes a part of your. your healthcare routine.

If she comes back all clear, only has to do it every five years. Right. If there's an anomaly, but you're going back after six months, if not 12. Interesting. I had a scare once,

had to go to the six-month cycle. That's not fun. Don't tell me that. I'm sorry, but I want you to be, Knowledge is power, baby. Yeah. Could you all,

all girls, would you all go on like a sisterhood trip? Well, that was the other joke that was made yesterday. Shmear Day. Should we go get petties and shmeers? And then I'll buy your books. Barito. Honestly, that's not that bad.

Burrito. Bit shmere. You know what I mean? You know how you give the children a lollipop after they get the needle? For Bab, she don't want no lollipop. She wants a fat burrito. So true. After someone's gotten up in there.

Oh, hey guys. Oh, it's Jess from Verradi. You must be Babbs. What are you guys doing today? Oh, we've just been for shmears. You know, Sard guy, we were going to. Not sure where we're at. I don't want to like point the finger at you.

But you were going to get a group together of big Mac virgins. and we were going to go to Macas. We're working on it in the background. Do we also do smear day? Oh my God, schmere's and Big Macs with the girls. Do we do shmears? Would you like a Big Mac? Or would you prefer a burrito?

I think I prefer a burrito. Okay. We can work on it. Shmears. You guys could do shmirs. I could get me prostate checked? Yep. Should I go?

I could do it. Well, if we're doing it. Do it with you or do it for you? For me. I mean for me. I mean for me. A quality, Rowan. If we're getting a smear, you should get something too.

Totally. At what age do they recommend prostate start getting squeezed? I think... Nah, I'm 33. Like, I think now. Okay. I think whenever. Maybe 40s.

Yeah, I feel like it's a bit older for you, gents. Yeah. But good on, you, Babs. Like I said, it's very important. It's just, it was a bit of a, oh, like, okay. So you're getting booted on mum and dad's health insurance. And now you've got to get a smear. Yeah, and I also realize that as of 25, I don't fit into the 18 to 24 bracket anymore.

Like, when I sign up for things. I know, you're on the next, you've got to scroll down one more. Like the 25 to like 34. Like what? I've never thought of that. Really? I've never, I've think about that. Yeah.

Wait till you get grey hairs. You getting grey hairs yet? No. I'm getting the greys. Like my old man did, it was like a band. It would start here and just go around like a whole. Like a, like a. No, no, no.

Just just for demonstration. But it like, it's like a ring. You didn't know there was a bunch just at the back. The ring of grey. To rule them all. So I'm getting them now. But I think I'm cooler with them. Yeah.

Man. See, no, see, that in between is not cool. If you go all grey, cool. But it's where you start getting just like, the band. You don't like the band? I don't like the band. Pick a lane. What about I've got the band?

And I do like a high taper fade. It looks like grey into brown. Like I'm some sort of chancellor of the third realm. It's giving Star Wars. And I don't know about it. I'll get you a cloak for your birthday. So Babs, I can see here on the board, you thought potential. to put it out to the cookers.

We've got a great cooker of the week prize. What do you want to ask? I kind of want to ask if there's a random, silly thing that you went, oh my God, I'm getting old. Yeah. Like, not anything actually serious. But, you know, if there was something stupid, like, oh, I fit into the 25 to 34-age bracket now, damn it.

I love that. 04,0008-1069. That's another way you can get in touch with the show. But let's make Babs feel a little better. You're not the only one. Getting on in years. Needing smears. Thank you, Goals, next.

This is Jess and Rowan. What's something silly that made you feel, old Babs is going for a, almost set, PAPSmere, cervical screening. It's had a PR glow up. We don't call it a smear anymore. I don't even think we call it a pap test anymore. We call it a cervical screening. Shmere.

She got a flowery purple letter to her mummy and daddy's house saying Babs, it's time. Like Rafiki in the Lion King. It is time. Yes, it's time. And it's made her first. feel a little old. She goes, life's getting serious when the government is telling you to go get your cervix screams.

You're of the age now. You're of the age. She's aged out of the 18 to 24 bracket. She's got a couple of months to all that happens. Someone text us, Re, re-re, great contribution. I get excited over cleaning products. Totally. I feel you, sis.

My husband, Amazon order, got like a 25 kiloomo. You should have seen him. He needed two hands to lift this thing. He goes, look at this. Not with that back. Oh, my God. It was like a kettlebell. Oh, I love it.

I love it. And someone else text us. Yeah, yeah, Babs. Wait until you turn 50. And without warning, the bowel screening kit arrives in the mail. Oh, without warning. Without warning. Little poo jug, you meant to put, you know.

The poop jug. I think that's what the bowel says. It's a poo smear. It's a poo smear. Oh, so you smear the poo. On to like a padapop stick. I don't really know how it works. You're not 50.

Whatever. Something like that. And you send it off anyway. To our wonderful friends. who text what was in the kit. Babs, you've got 25 more years until the kit comes. Linda called through.

Hi, Linda. Hey, hey guys. How are you? Good, thanks, babe. Can you relate to Babs a moment where you went, oh, God damn it? Yeah. Yeah, you know when you register

for things online and you've got to put your name, address and date of birth in? And then you've got, sometimes the day, the birthday, you've got to, like, spin to your fine month and the year. Yeah, a little dial thing.

Yeah, yeah, you've got to spin that where, or like the Wheel of Fortune to find 1969. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a look at those and you go, why is 2000 like 15 on here? No kid born in 2015 is doing this form. Just start at like 1990.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It's a big spin. It's a big spin. I've noticed they've started the default later and later now. You know, it's not just like, oh, he might be, it might be 1995.

No, it's like, well, 2003. No. Yes, because they're adults now. Yes. That's the spin. That's the spin. Why am I still scrolling to find my year? Wow.

Because when were you, 92? Night two, baby. 92, yeah. Don't you feel like that was 20 years ago? Yeah. You go, nah, it's closer to 40 years ago. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K

Alfa bucks on hit. We played 7 and 8 o'clock, 30 seconds, 10 questions. All have to start. with the same letter. You do that, you get $10,000 and playing this morning on her way to Korea. Talia, what up? Good morning. Talia, can I just confirm north or south?

Hopefully south. Hopefully south, great. You'll take where you go. She's going to say, how'd you get a visa to get up north? Although we might be safe in the north at the moment. Who knows? Who knows? What's on the agenda for your trip to Korea?

All my mates are going to stock up on skincare. I know. Well, we're child-free, so we're going to do all. All the things that we can do child-free. Eat in peace. Love that. It's in Korea. Korea.

It's a great culinary nation. Beautiful food. I assume if you went 10 grand in the next 30 seconds, we're just supercharging that trip to Korea. Yeah, we're not coming home. Sorry, Grandma. Sorry, man. How far does 10,000 AUD get you in Korea?

Shy guy. Quick currency conversion. while I tell Talia the letter. Your letter, it's one we've seen some success with in the past, Talia. Pee, Pea, P, bird, Pyongyang. Oh, nice. Thank you so much. Yeah, well done.

How much is that? 10,000, 350,900. Oh, my. Damn, we could make Talia a millionaire, Rowan. We could. Let's go, Talia. Are you ready to rock? Ready.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P, we need you to name. A stationary item. Pen. A Lord of the Rings character. Pass. A snack. Pocky.

A shape. Pentagon. A male singer. Pass. A noun. Pass. A sport. Physical culture.

A technology brand. Pass. Something in the shed. A flower. Poppy. A Lord of the Rings character. A paragon. Peregrine.

Perigrant. Perigrant took. You'd have it if it was after that. So you're on the, you're on Korea. I mean, it might be 10,000. You may have, no, never mind. Trying to make a Korean reference. Sorry, Dad.

Something in the shed, you could have had power drill. You could have had Pippin. Well, or Peregrin took, yes. That's good. There is no Peregrine. No, Pippin and then there's also Peregrine. Is there? The two of them, the other ones, the other hobbits.

Sure. Male singer, Pitbull, Post Malone, a noun, parent pilot. Literally a thing, a noun. You could have said anything. Yeah, we could say anything. And technology brand, Philip Panasonic. Talia, sorry we couldn't, I don't know, upgrade you to a business class or something.

Yeah, that would have been a good idea. That would have been nice. That would have been lovely. Have fun in Korea, sweet Talia. Back again, 8 o'clock to play Alpha Bucks. I do like the jeopardy of someone in transit to go on a holiday. Hey, winning times, whatever. Amen.

Next, Jess is Mads. Call on the Police. We'll do it next. This is Jess and Rowan. I want to have a chat to you about showers and showering, Jess. I want to chat to you about it. I am no expert, Rowan. I've been told by my husband, not long enough.

Get back in. He goes, what did you do? Just rinse your feet. I went, no, that was a full body. He goes, nope. No, it was it? I can go. Turn around.

Get back in there. I'll turn it on. We want to talk about that. He now sets an egg timer. Stay in there. I'm obviously joking. Oh my God. I didn't know if that was real or not.

It's in his mind. It's on his phone. Anyway, Rowan. He's not the man I'm mad at this morning. Oh, okay. Shy guy. You're off the hook also. Oh, good.

Rowan. Off the hook also. Oh, thank God. But there is a man walking amongst us. I want arrested. Okay. I had a great morning yesterday. After the show.

Great show. If you missed it, get the podcast. So fun. Floated out of here. It's great. So much so. Treated myself to a little Pia Dina. It's a nice little Italian treat.

It's like a little, imagine like a thin Italian flat bread. You put stuff in it. Press it on like a sandwich press. Beautiful. So I'll wrap. It's a wrap. It's a wrap. It's almost like a cassidia.

Oh, okay. Got you. Anyway, so I'm high on life. Yeah. I was getting my extensions put in. I was high. On life. Yeah.

I finished my Pia Dia. I have to go to my hair appointment. Where my car is parked, had to cross a busy road. It was a little bit cheeky. Didn't want to walk up to the lights. I was like, I'm just going to duck across. Obviously, like any normal person, trying to find an opening in the traffic, whatever. So, you know, I don't like to just stay still. So I'm like in motion kind of keep walking up and then I'm like looking for an opening to cross the traffic. I may have, sumi, encroached on someone else's personal space. There was a man also moving in the same direction as me and I realised with my momentum, I'm kind of, look, I'm not flat tiring him.

It's not like I stood on the back of his shoes, but I was probably in his personal space a little bit. To the point, he's kind of giving me furtive glances over his shoulder because he can feel obviously a presence, someone thundering up behind him. He's kind of looking. I slow down a little bit. I realize, oh, I'm going to be close to this fella.

Move on a bit, yeah. While I'm waiting for a gap in the traffic, but we're still in motion. Sure, sure, sure. He gives me another glance. We're still in motion. He pulls up, stops in the middle of the street, turns his head to the side, hocks up a massive loogie, spits it in front of me. Interesting.

And then keeps walking. So he is aware that you're there. He is completely aware of me wrong. And that's an important. point. It's not like he went, oh God, I got a loo, I've got to get it out. Granted, I still think that's disgusting and he should be arrested. It was, I've clocked this woman. I've clocked this woman again. She's not stopping.

Spit on that bat. He's hot tour. It was disgusting. It was so big. You know, you see the footballers do it on like the field. Yeah. Just that. I rock a luge sometimes. You strike me as someone who would.

You wouldn't do it on the field. What does that mean? If I put him in a line up with you, boss, J, with Angers, I reckon. It's a tattoo there. I think it is the tattoos and that's scruffy beard you think you're growing. Yeah, I need to share. I reckon you can pick a spitter from a line up.

But this bloke, foul, man. Like, that's... What did you say? Nothing, because I'm not confrontational. I've come on the radio to bitch about it. Yeah, fair. That's foul. The double doors.

Spitting on the stretch. You could have a hot one back and he like, pu-uh. Oh, couldn't have. I don't do that. That's disgusting. I want him arrested. You know, like when you see a litter bug and you write down there rego, obviously we're not safe, and then you dobs them into the EPA and you get a fine sent to them in the mail?

Who are the EPA? What? Yeah, the Environmental Protection Agency? That's a thing. If you spot a car and they throw like a cup out the window or a can. Cigarette butt. Yes, if you get the rego down, they track the, the rego to the residential address, send them a fine.

Fun little trick. That's a great prank. That's a plan, you mate. Don't abuse that because then we get that privilege taken away. All of a sudden, bads gets a fine. It's all you're on from bans. No, no. I'll back your babs.

You would never litter. But I want that sort of system for the spitters. But I don't know how to pinpoint, besides taking a photo of him, which I don't want to do. Anyway, spitting on the street. I didn't know we still spit the chicks. That's bad. We spit the chigs.

Come on, man. I know I was in your personal space. Give me a break. I was just trying to cross the road. I saw it one time when I was in the big city, in the big smoke. This bloke just spit. And I think he kind of spat near a woman and this other woman came and went, you! And started screaming at him, grabbed him by the scruff.

No. He went, oh, get off me. And she went, I apologize right now. So a random third party like Batman and vigilante justice. She would have probably, like, probably Babs is high. Just like, no. And pointing up at him, grabbed him by the scruff and said, Apologised.

Then he ran away. This is Jess and Rowan. Guys, not to alert you, but there is a rare blood moon on tonight, by the way. We're just seeing that on the TV's on the screen. Not to alert you. We want to alert you. That's a good one. Wake up.

Stay awake. Well, it's actually good that we alerted you because you may see it and go, what's happening in the world? The moon is red. Is this bad? What's going on? No, it's meant to happen. It is.

Shagai dropping a lot of facts about the blood moon. Yeah. I'm on moon talk. Big moon, guys. Are you actually? I watch two videos about it. Really? 10pm tonight to 11 p.m.

Look up at the night sky if it's clear day, night. That's famously when I'm in bed. So I feel like I want to stay up to see the blood moon. Yeah. It's because the sun will be facing the moon. It's on an axis where it can symbolize the transformation endings and spiritual renewal apparently. Hey, fantastic. Year of the fire horse, blood moons.

It's all. happening. Speaking of spiritual, we're going to do some tarot card stuff just after 8 o'clock as well. I've mentioned to you before, Cookers, that of an evening we all send around our ideas, how I'd like to bring this to the program. When I saw Rowans, I found tarot cards. Yeah, but we've got to do. Say less, brother. Sign me out. Bring him in. Also, where are we out with your mate who can do sun ascending and moon descending? Oh, she's, oh, hang on, I texted her. She told me what I was. Where is her lovely name? This, Steph.

Yes, miss you my Picey's son, Aquarius Rising, she said. I was like, wow. She's also that. That's why we get along so well. Oh. Yes, that's how we got started talking about it now. Think of it. Is she the kind of person, if she had read your cards and gone, uh-oh, you're a Aquarius sun and a Capricorn moon.

Can't be friends. Sorry. Yeah. She's kind of that person. Well, she didn't know when we were friends, but I reckon if she'd found out and realized she didn't like it, she would have just, I reckon. She could probably do ours. Maybe I'll send her, you know what I'll do?

I'll send her all of our birth dates and we got married. Gone. Redleaf. And the time. Yeah. Yep. And then she can probably come on and give us what that means. I love that.

We could do that maybe. Okay. I have to figure out what time I was born. Yeah. Just ask mum. You don't have to figure it out. Ask one of your parents. I think your mom was there.

My mom might, no. She might be there. Sharon. My mom was like, no, 2 I am, I think. No, I need precise. Seth was like, no, to the minute. To the minute. Next.

Be on your birth certificate. Karen's like, oh, I don't know. 220? I'm like, okay, well, so now it's 20 more minutes. Weren't you there, Karen? Oh, my goodness. Didn't your whole life change in that moment? Anyway, we do some tarot card.

Yeah, yeah, we're doing some tarot card. You were dating an idiot. Are you still with the idiot? Did you marry the idiot? From tarot card to idiot chat next on Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. We want you to tell us. When'd you realise you were dating an idiot?

Now, idiot, not usually, a word infused with love. But we made it in the kindest sense. Yeah. They've just said something a little idiotic. Yeah, everyone does it. You're a dumb bum, but I still love you. Dumbum, sony. If you dumped a dumb bum for being a dumb bum, I'd love to hear that.

Yeah, let us know. But often we push through silly comments. People have gotten in touch on the internet. Okay, good. My girlfriend asked me if I believed in dinosaurs. She thought they were mythical creatures. Okay, no, they were real. Do I believe in dinosaurs like I believe in aliens?

There's bones. There's bones, babe. We found the bones. One lady has said, My boyfriend cannot be in the kitchen while I'm cooking pasta because he always insists I turn the water down from a boiling temp. I try to explain to him that's how we need it to cook the pasta. He goes, no, the water will burn.

Water will burn? Keep it on a low medium. Dump him. We're not getting Eldente to the way. we need it with low medium pasta water. We're dumping him. A guy got in touch and said, my girlfriend at 19 years old

saw the sun and the moon and the sky at the same time. You know that amazing thing where it's like still daylight, but you can see the moon? Yeah. She thought they were the same entity and couldn't grasp where she was seeing two things at the same time. She goes, doesn't the sun turn into the moon? No sweetheart.

Turn into the moon. She thought that was the same. thing couldn't fathom. I just got it. They were separate. Oh my goodness. Guy said, I knew I was dating an idiot when my girlfriend got into an argument with my sister, trying to yell about the fact that the only reason camels have humps is so humans could ride them. Oh, that's the only reason.

It's like they developed them biologically to give us rides. Oh, thanks. Thanks, camels. Girl said my boyfriend would only rinse off dishes, would never use soap, insisting it was healthier. Healthy. Healthy. To not put soap on our crockery.

Like the chicken and stuff. Sure. That's right. Sure. Sure. And a woman said, look, not my current partner. Sounds like she dumped the dumb bum. Smart.

It was right around the time that the tsunami happened. Oh, yeah. Early in the ordeal. We listened to the devastation on the news. Obviously, it was international news. He turned to me dead serious and said, babe, let's never move to tsunami. To tsunami?

He thought tsunami was the place. where the devastation was happening. I mean, that's so dumb. Not the big wave. I mean, I think people normally stay with the dums only because it's kind of funny. When they're like, when stuff it's like so dumb, you go, that's funny. It's just like sometimes there's gaps in your knowledge. Yeah.

But it's the ones that say they argue with me until the cows come home. That's got to go. I know a lot of them, and I'm surprised there's not more on this list, men arguing with women about period or menstrual cycles. And it's like, can't you hold it in? Yeah, one more day. No, sweetheart. One more day. isn't the pad like a band-aid?

No, sweetheart. It doesn't stick to the body. It's stick... Anyway. I'm glad to see there's not too many of those. I only just learnt that. Yeah. But it doesn't stick to the body.

I thought you stick it to yourself, yeah. Yeah, I didn't realize you put it in your undies. Where'd you think the stickies were? On you. On the top. I didn't think about the logistics. I just thought it was like a band-aid. Yeah, it's just a band-dye.

I'm glad. Where'd you learn that? Was it on this program? Might have been. Might have been. Might have been radio stuff. It was recent. Someone has said I knew I was dating an idiot when he wanted Daddy as his number played on the car.

Idiot. You know, I started calling myself Daddy. Lucy, she hates every second of it. Maybe she thinks I'm the idiot. Maybe. Lucy, if you're listening, 131060s. She went caution to quiet carriage, okay? She's all quite.

What an idiot. 04-8-18-1069. Send a text. We've got texts. We've got DMs. We've also got the phones, obviously 131060. When did you realize? Idiot's too harsh a word.

Should we change to dumb bum? I like idiot. You like idiot. Yeah. Dumbum idiot. Did you marry the idiot? Did you dump the idiot? Give us your best idiot story.

Yeah. Talk to you next. This is Jess and Rowan. There's a thread going around of people sharing. I realized I was dating an idiot when they said, with all the innocence of a child, something very dumb. Got a couple of texts come through. 048-8-18-1069. Roro.

Someone has said, my idiot. I love that. It's her idiot. Yeah. My idiot said, I don't think that guy is the full squid. I've never heard that. The saying is obviously the full quid. I love getting a saying wrong because I think that then becomes the catchphrase in a couple or in a family.

One of my girlfriends once said, instead of knock your socks off, she said it'll blow you out of your socks. And I say it minimum three times a week. I reckon that's better. Still applies. I think it still applies. It's fantastic. We got a DM from Sammy. She said, oh my God, dumb thing.

How much time do you have? Yeah, plenty. I'll give you one from my husband. When I was pregnant with our first child, he told me, I need to lay in the sun with my belly out. Right. Because he watched the show one born every minute. It's set in the UK.

Right. And told me, with a straight face, that the reason their babies are born so pale is because there is no son there. So here in Australia, we have access to the sun. Tan up, sweetheart. And our baby won't be pale. Man. Someone else.

See, this is what I was looking for. My boyfriend asked me, how do you wee when you got a tampon up there? Fair. Not fair. Well, unless you're told, you don't know. Yeah. No, no about the holes. Yeah, well, I do now, but I'm just saying, if you're not told, just like when the...

This is the education system. It always comes back to the education system. Yeah, same of the pad thing. It's not a band-aid. But sticks on. Maybe this is a message for the Libra and the U by Codex. Your ads are a bit too vague. Well, they're not for men, to be fair.

I think I need to be educational. The closest thing we've got is that guy that puts him all over his arms and pretends he's a robot. That's the only reference we have is men about. And you thought, geez, if he's sticking it to his body, that must be how the ladies do it. That's how they do it. This is Jess and Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, absolutely. 10,000 gets you a lot. It's just like Mary is looking to replace her laptop, I would assume. Mary, hello? Hello, yeah. Absolutely. It's fried. I need a new one.

What do you got your eye on? Are you an Apple gal? Maybe a HP. Yeah, probably a HP. You know what? Speaking of HP, and this is not an ad. I did see one actually for sale brand new for like 240 bucks. So like they're not... 240? I didn't even know you get lots off that cheap. What are you doing with the other nine grand? I think it's like the ones we have at work. Those ones are like 240 bucks. I didn't realize that were that cheap. That's very affordable. Mary, get yourself about a lot of them.

By the way, if I was to be... sponsored by a laptop? It wouldn't be HP. Yeah, I think I kind of... Yeah, yeah. Mary, it sounds like you're using the laptop for a bit. Yeah, Big Mac or something. She needs RAM. Not the burger, like a big Mac and Tosh. Anyway, I'm going to stop talking. Jess, you please take over. Mary, your letter's I.

Oh, gee, that's tricky. Yeah. For IMac? Sorry, that was my last one. That's not bad. I. We haven't seen a lot of vowels in Alpha Bucks recently. You've got I, okay? Okay. We believe in you. There's only so many words I start with the letter I.

You need ten of them. Let's rip in. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter I, we need you to name something cold. Ice cream. A flower. Iris. A musical.

Pass. A nursery rhyme. A noun. A noun. Ice block. A periodic element. iodine. A brand.

Um, uh, um, um, no. An animal? Um, iguana. A US state. Um, Diana. Damn. Right but wrong. After the buzzer.

Mary, you were elite, sis. That was really good. Everyone playing at home, that is the pace you need to win. Other than when she stopped it on a brand, that is how you lose. I'm going to wait for the past, you know what I'm saying. You can't just sit there in it. Yeah, you've got to just get the past. and move on.

But you're right. Sorry, Mary. That was fantastic. And tough letter. Tough letter. Some tough questions there, too. A musical Into the Woods could add in the heights. Lynn Manuel.

You had gotten. Noun was right. I know. I think you're the first person in 2026 to get noun. And noun is a thing. You can literally say anything, but it trips people up. Yeah. English teachers are being tough.

So we could have hit you with adverb, Mary, and you would have got it. Oh, what the hell is that? Brand, Ikea, I-Zuzu. I-N-G and yeah USA didn't get to number 10. Would you have got animated film, Mary? An animated film? No.

I-Robot. Okay. I-Robot? No. Would you consider the CGI element animated? No. Shabashag and he said, I-Sage. Anyway, Mary, you were delightful,

but you're going to have to buy yourself your own laptop. Well, if you need a cheap one, how only are there are $240 laptops? I had no idea. Here I am just spending $3,000 on a laptop. That's so affordable. Yeah. Amazing.

Amazing. All right, back again tomorrow from 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock. I thought us ceasing to talk about redemption round. Oh, she said it again. If you get nine, you get another immediate go. We stopped talking about it because no one was getting close. It hasn't really helped anything. Next, I found some tarot cards at home.

They weren't mine. They were my girlfriend Lucy's, but I'm going to do some tarot readings next on Jess and Rowan. Happy with that? I'm. I'm really happy with it. This is Jess and Rowan. Now I found some funny little things at home. Nothing suss, by the way.

Don't get weird. You called them funny little things. I found some tarot cards and I've never done a tarot reading but I thought, hey, maybe this is a great time to do some tarot readings on my friends in the show. Babs, would you like to come in and do a tarot reading as well? I feel like to turn the lights off or something too bad. Yeah, come in here, turn the lights off, Babs.

This is fantastic. One of my mates very, very, very. into her spirituality. She sells crystals and stuff. Oh, that's too much to me. I feel like you can't just open a deck of tarot cards and think you know what you're doing. Well, watch me, baby.

Right now. Oh, yeah. All right now. Party lights. Right now. That's not. Oh, my God. It's not got to do with the price of fish.

I don't know. I feel like I'm on Capital Radio. All right. Here we go. So I've got cards and I think normally you would do. And if you're out there, you read tarot cards and going, I don't want to see any messages. of who's getting it wrong.

Yeah, that's what I feel like you're getting it wrong. I don't. And also, isn't this what Kyle and Jackie O'clock that she left the show for two weeks? Oh my God. Wasn't it taro in astrology? Maybe see if we can conjure up Jackie O to come on the show and talk about it. All right. I'm going to give you one card.

So the cards have like, you know, they explain themselves on the car. Do you give it or are we meant to pick it? Aren't we meant to vibe it out from the energy of the car? No, I'm just going to shuffle it like it's a deck of cards. But what energy are you picking up on? Is this our future? Yeah. Well, just lean into it, bro.

I don't know. You're not taking it seriously enough. You're going to give you a crap card. Listen, well, I'm not doing the cards. The deck's doing the cards. Let's not fight here. We know how it ends. Oh, my God.

I wouldn't mind two weeks off. Tarru rips people apart. Oh, my God. I wouldn't mind two weeks off, actually. You've worked for four. You just relax, all right. You can get one just saying. Continue to be nice.

So I'm going to stay off the air. Labby, Jackie. All right. Am I Kyle in this scenario? Oh, my God, you're Kyle? Jesus. I have 100 mil. You're off with a fairy?

let me do the tarot card. Yeah. No, I'm going to pick the card for you. I'm wait. My arm is extended to receive the card. I'm open. Okay, here you go. I throw it.

There is the first card. Please read out what it says and the meaning behind it. So you have given me the guardian of emotion. Really? What does that say? This situation requires emotional maturity and total trust. You're surrounded by those who have only the best intentions, bull, so you can rely on the advice you're given.

Okay. Challenges will be resolved. resolved, like the tarot fight that we had seconds ago. This card also indicates a generous humanitarian. Hang on, is this describing me, or are you giving me a guardian? I don't know, mate, you're telling the story. What is it? This card also indicates a generous humanitarian and refined person whom you completely can depend on.

Yeah. Oh, are you the guardian of emotion? I'm a guardian of your emotion, I guess. This could be a reference to these characteristics within yourself. Okay. What? You go bad to your card. Is it about me?

Is it about... We'll get to you at the end. Back to Babbs. Oh, okay. What's this one say? What's he given you? Choose freedom. Sometimes you may feel as though...

Yeah, yeah. No, you might be stuck in something. This is really important. What are you doing? I don't know. Shy guy. What did we say about leaning in? You put this at 8-10.

That's on you. I didn't realize we're going to do this kind of thing. And resume. Sometimes you may feel as though your way is blocked. But often, that's just an illusion. You could free yourself from the obstacles that you're so focused on by choosing a different path. Yeah, that is blinding me.

The party lines shy go put on. Choosing freedom. Turn your thoughts away from negativity and instead envision endless other possibilities you might act upon. Okay. That should have gone to shy guy. You need to let yourself breathe a bit. Sure. Okay.

Shy guy, here's your card. Thank you. And please speak to the people and tell everyone what the card is. There's a lot of words here. Okay. Be open to success. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Choose freedom.

Sorry, shy guy, you are free to continue. Do you want me to read it? No. I can, guys, I can read. Is there three syllable words in there? I'm a little bit dyslexic, but I can read. Come on, man, get on with it. Look at all the wonderful things you can do when you listen to your divine guidance.

Wow. You've balanced so many different priorities and have come out a winner. There will be a lot of recognition and praise headed your way, but don't be shy. Don't be shy. We're just to shower you with gratitude you deserve. So have you been feeling a little bit like under, under appreciating? Oh, every day. Wow.

So what does it mean? Praise is coming your way? I suppose I've got to be open to success. I haven't succeeded yet. I've got to be open to that. If you're not open to it, it's not going to happen. And I'm getting a lot of recognition. We do have an awards internally very soon.

And you've nominated me for something. I did nominate you. I wrote you a glowing thing. You did. Which was all valid. Anyway, why is the guy riding a unicycle on the photo? Because that's what you need to do. Yeah, why is my guy got a top hat on?

What's your guy got on? Mine's an angel. No, the other side. Oh, we've all got the angel. We've all got the angel. I don't know. It's just like some poor-looking woman just looking out into the world. Oh, that's you. That's you. A poor-looking woman.

Oh, shit. This is it to bring us together, not tear us apart? So I'm going to take two weeks off now. Is that how these things resolve themselves? That doesn't go well with my success. Yeah, that's not really how that works. Did you pull one for yourself? Oh, quickly. We'll do that in the podcast. Inner Strength. You have great car engine kindness and you look really hot. Thank you. That's good.

This is Jess and Rowan. Someone is asking you to do a tarot reading for them. Well, they're not here. I'm not here. Who are they? What's that? She said, I'm going to go to the full moon eclipse tonight to look at the blood moon. Oh, and think of this.

Okay, hold on, Ray, one sec. No, no, we can do it in the podcast. I'm just saying. We can circle back. Please don't keep going. Oh, it's a podcast thing. What do you mean? You didn't like my content?

I loved it. There. We've moved on now. Jess. I just want to make sure we follow up. When we get requests like that. Well, I've got a card ready. You've got it ready.

Do it in pod. Did you imbibe that energy? I spiked it out. Yeah, yeah. Our friends are body and soul. God, they work overtime. They do a little work. They do good work.

Clinical psychologist, Phoebe Rogers, has put all men on dating apps in four categories. All men? Rowan, you met your beautiful girlfriend on the apps. Specifically, hinge. I'd love to know if you can transport yourself back into four years ago, single Rowan. Tell me which one of these four you would have fit into.

Shy guy, you're not on the apps, but you are, Single. I've told you fit into one of them. I want to know which one you fit into. And Babs, obviously, single, I want to know which one of these men, types of men, you're most interested in attracting. Here we go. Phoebe has said, I spent long enough on the apps. All men are doing one of four things.

All right. You're channeling daddy energy. Daddy energy. She equates this to the Sasha, the older brother from Nobody Wants This. You know that viral show with Seth from the OC and Kristen Bell? Oh, it's fantastic. You know the show. You know the show?

It was amazing. The older brother, she goes, particularly divorcees. Obviously, they have children. They've entered the dating apps again. The daddy, you've got to be conscientious around. Because you might be seeing that kind of energy, like that is a relationship kind of guy. She goes, I met multiple of them, but I dove head first thinking this guy's all. already shown, he's committed.

Wow. So let's go straight to commitment. The daddies can be scared off easily because they've just come out of. Just like all men, yeah. Or just like all men. Scared. She said the second type of categorization. Single men fall into on the apps.

The Casanova, aka the Benedict Bridgeton. Obviously, our leading man in the current Bridgeton season. Not familiar with Bridgeton enough, but I get it. I don't watch it. I know it, but I don't want it. Benedict is the player, baby. Oh, okay. And she's talking about you've got to be able to sniff these ones out because whilst they're on the apps,

and some of them like your bumbles and your hinges, are about finding the one, or at least building relationships. Yeah. Whereas it's fair to say Tinder is probably about more hookup culture. She goes, you've got to be conscious of the Casanovas. Yeah. Because they might love Bomya. They go hard and fast, but they're not in it for the long haul. Just for a bit.

So be wary of the Casanova. They're just for a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're just for a bit. Heat followed by distance. It's hot, but then they're cold. Is that the third one? No, no, that's Benedictson.

The Gabriel from Emily in Paris. He's the hot Frenchman. She says, aka Mr. Detached. You've got to be wary of these guys as well. So all three so far are bad. They sound like, oh, Daddy doesn't sound bad. Oh, no, the Daddy wasn't sounding bad, but you got to, the daddy is like the little squirrel. You just got to coax them over.

Don't make big, big, bold gestures. The Casanova and the detached, hardworking, intelligent, ambitious type, but not really emotionally available. Yeah, okay. You know, they're all about something else. maybe a hobby, maybe the worst. Something's going on, yep. Something's going on. And the Steve Harrington.

Who the hell? Were you a stranger things? No. Neither was I. AKA, the ones who make you laugh. Now, it sounds like this is the kind of guy we're going for. And I think we've landed on who Rowan was four years ago. That's how I lured her in.

Pay attention to how someone makes you feel. Yeah. I guess we're getting to the crux of it. It's not about surface level looks. It's not about ascetics. It's how they make you feel. It could be. about surface level looks.

And I think clinical psychologist, Phoebe, is saying humor. Humor wins. Humor wins. Do they make your soul smile? Do they make your heart happy? That's an important one. There were texts the next day. Another date was planned.

I really felt anxious with my Steve Harrington. What was your husband? Do you reckon? Be honest. Great question. Pretty into his work. Fair, but I think purely based very quickly on a job. judgment, gorgeous, always partying.

This is before I knew he was the one planning the parties. It looked like he was just attending all the parties. I thought a bit of a cast son over. Yeah, maybe. And then we get to know each other and I'm like, oh, you're a serial monogamous. You've had long relationships. You party to make the cash. He is a purfair of good times.

We all give the cash open and he collects and puts the back pocket and has the fun. And pays for my tiled shower arch. Oh, how's that all going? Eight years later. Let's talk that again. Shall I go? Which category do you fit into? I think number three.

Yeah, you're Mr. Detached. You're Gabriel, the hot Frenchman. And Babs, who are you? Who would you like to attract? I like the Steve Harrington. You like the Steve. I'm taken, so stop looking about that. Stop looking about that.

This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, you've got to be so careful. So careful as a parent with what comes out of your mouth. Yep. Around children who are not just sponges and parrots and repeat everything you say, but who start to get clever enough to understand content. text and how they can use your words against you. Because I used to be able to say whatever I liked when your child.

Now it's clear. It's clear. She's speaking what she hears. Every time she hears your voice, if I'm rewatching something of ours, listening to the podcast, whatever it might be, she always goes, big bucket of soup. It's a big bucket of soup. She has coded your voice into big bucket of soup. She's clever.

She switched on. But something's happening the past couple of days and I'm like, oh, bloody hell. That's back. on me. We try and be very conscientious. I've got no issue with screens within moderation. We try and be conscientious about just using our phones in front of Lucia. I don't want her to ever think that whatever's going on in my phone is more important than my interaction with her in real time. Sure. But on Friday, I was texting Babs. I wanted to organise something for Babs and I was

texting her about it. Right. And Lucia's waddled into the room. Mom, Mom, Mommy. And I said, Just hang on a sec. I'm texting Babbs. Oh, yeah. All right? Luchie, I didn't think really understood the context. She knows who Babs is, but I was like, just wait. It's important.

Doing stuff. And I know myself, I'd forget. If I didn't finish in that moment, I'd forget to text Babbs. And the weekend would have passed me by. Mom's doing stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, Rowan, she has now coded

any time I pick up the phone as this. I want you to miss you, give me a phone. I want your message She's saying Give me the phone I want a message babes So they have one comment on Friday Every time I pick up the phone

I want a message babes Give me the phone And she demands And you could hear Quite distressed about me not passing the phone She sounded extremely upset with you Give me the phone I want a message babes

Oh leave me alone babe I'm messaging babes I'm messaging babes What do you say that? No The issue is I haven't message babes since Most of the times I'm messaging someone else, scrolling, doing something. But you are now coded Babes as the person, Lucia thinks I'm always talking to.

That's sweet, smart. Very sweet. I wonder if you could just, I don't know, give her the phone and go, all right. Message Babs. See what she does. See what happens. Because you know what? It's sad.

Sometimes I open the notes app because it's obviously got the keypad. We can get the emojis up. She finds a little icon's very funny. They're funny. She's working those thumbs, man. She's not typing anything legible, but she is there. As a two-and-a-bit-year-old, punching out, gibberish. Like the paintings.

She's just having a crack out of them. She's having a crack. It's amazing and scary all in one. Okay. And Bab's getting a lot of mentions in my house. And I'm just getting the big bucket of suit. And you're just going to be a big bucket of suit. This is Jess and Rowan.

There you go, guys. All right. Thanks for joining in. Any, uh, look, anything you missed? Get on the podcast. Absolutely. We've had a request for a tarot reading. Ruan's going to do that at the top.

I have the card. I thought about it doing. the end of the show. But you know what? Get the podcast. We'll do it in the pod. And we will see you tomorrow for more chances at our UE Boom. Yeah.

More chances at Alpha Bucks. And hey, let's not forget Wednesdays. Shy guys dip in. We dip it, baby. Oh, see, tomorrow. That was the Jess and Ron podcast. Try the big Brecky Range with Honey, Saracha today. Only at Maccas.