Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - I'm not Jackie!

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Jess is getting random texts from a stranger, Rohans landlords listening to the show and we play What's The Threesome!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for listening again. Hell of a Thursday.

Fun times. One grievance. Oh, okay. We did Thursday is the luckiest day of the week. It's how we opened the show. I had one request. Please play Lucky by Britney Spears. You said I forgot.

I think you chose not to do it. You are in control of the button, sir. Yeah. Babs came in afterwards being like, he didn't play lucky. I said, oh, I'm aware, Babs. And I'll be thinking about it for the next week. Do you think it was a choice, Babs? Or do you think he actually forgot?

Of course. Ah, well. I don't know. We'll just let that one go through to the Keeper. Do I still get a burrito out of it? Absolutely, you do, because your passion for it. But only Guzman. Oh, she only would like Guzman.

I'm not going to be that cruel and just send her a Mad Mex. She wouldn't care for it. I had a Madmex today. It was quite nice. I love Madmex. They do a great cassidia. There's no Guzma, but it was good. No, Guzma.

Okay. Well, you're going to have dinner with your sister. Maybe I'll get you both a burrito. Nice. I'd be happy to do that. And would you like, what's the accompaniment of choice? Just the chip and the guac? I usually get a chip, yeah.

And a Shepotlame mayonnaise dipping cells. Rock on. Okay, that's coming. You always, sweet up. For your support on playing Lucky. Oh, good on you, darling. By Britney Spears. Yeah, no, get your burrito, babe.

Get your burrito, babe. You've done good work. Fuck it. You and your sister could have one. You and you, you know what? I'm feeling generous. You and you, both your sisters can have one. What's Darcy done for me lately?

Burritos on the big dog. Do you want to hear my favourite Darcy story, Rowan? Yeah, yeah. I'll get Babs to share it with you. You know which one I want him to hear. Once she licked the butcher's glass, like, fully, like... Why? I don't know.

She used to just lick weird shit growing up. Do you have two? Two young sisters. She also lick the sewage and Fiji as well. One more time. What was that? The sewage? Surridge.

I told you know what this story is. What? Yeah, once my mum turned around and Darcy was like licking the sewer, like the, like the, like a sewer in Fiji. What do you mean a sewer? I don't know. It was something. Yeah, something yucky. Yeah.

What's with Darcy licking is here? I don't know. Come on, man. Yeah, she did just to lick things a lot. That's so funny. Don't we all? But you and your other sister don't have the same affliction? No, I wasn't a liquor.

You weren't a liquor? No. You weren't a laker. Shy guy used to lick the back end of computers, didn't you, Shiger? What? That's where the game Shy Guy licks. I used to look at a bat tree. Oh.

You weren't far off, brother. Thank you. Everyone looked at a battery. They're like that tingling thing. What, everyone? I've never, I've never, I've never. I used to lick my cat just a bit like trying to try to get to be like kind of did you see her trying to lick.

You know, that's how they grew and be like, I'll get that spot for you. If I lick the cat, maybe the cat will lick me. Oh, was that some peanut butter on your Johnson stuff? Um, no. Is that how you found that you're a logic? Ew. I'm not shitting out cat there. I was like, this is got to go.

This is got to go. That was actually a task on our scab hunt. To lick? I mean, I didn't do it, but like I had friends that had, no, like, get like an animal to lick their Johnson. This sounds like a joke. What? No, it was real. Jackass.

No, this sounds like initiation. We're in some sort of like sorority? No, it was like my friend's scab hunt for school. Was this a thing in Tasmania, Rowan? because it's a thing here. What? Year 12, scab hunt. Is it the year below, the year before you?

The winners, the winners of the year before you, they like, it's a game, basically, and you get a list of tasks to do, and they get progressively worse, and they get more points. And if you just got to get all the points. But it's stuff like, my friend jumped out of a car naked. Like, people do weird things around around. Swimming in fountains, again, naked? Yeah. In high school, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're 12, isn't it? End of. Yeah. Yeah. So you're 17. 17. Yeah.

Dixie out 17. That's not legal. So one of them was to entice an animal. To lick your Johnson. And did anyone clock those points? Yeah, I know someone that did it. That's so messed up. Was he's named Rowan?

A toothpick in their toe and then kicked a door so that the toothpick would like go. Some like stigmata stuff. That's a Maitland thing. No, no it's not. That was not in Sydney. Really? But Scab Hunt was a thing? No.

Oh, you too. prestigious. I want to go a pub of school, bro. We need to a ruff around here. God damn. Yeah. Pretty intense. Anyway, we went from

shy guy licking the back of computers. Which isn't true. Yeah, okay, whatever. Sorry, put it on the record. Anyway. Big show today. Enjoy that show. Welcome.

We've got for Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? I'm all about Wii Wu methods to help yourself. Get ready to come to take a way. You'll get to know. Rowan. Hot, pawny, happy.

Yay! It's going to be fun. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan.

This is going to be good. Oh, good morning, everybody. Morning, Jess. Good morning, Rowan. How do you do? Well, I woke up and I thought it was Friday this morning. Oh, see, that's not. That doesn't feel the best because you often come in with a great

Thursday energy with a, it's a Friday, what is it, it's Friday's Friday. That's it. Friday's Friday, guys. But today, with that discombobulation so early in the AM, how are you feeling, a bit wigged out? Yeah, it'll be everywhere. No, it's go, hey, get another day in the week to be on air with my friends. Where would you rather be? Well, I want to be dead for quids. There's a few cafes around the spot that I do not mind. Hey, I don't know if many of them are grinding. Ah, nah, it's 6-1. Yeah, they'd be. They're driving by now. You're right.

They'll be grinding by now. Morning, shy guy. Morning. How are you feeling for this Friday's Friday? Good. Yeah. I knew it was Thursday. It's the bigger day for me and bad, so we'll strap in and we'll be fine.

Strap on. I can't wait to leave. They've got the diary to produce today, Rowan. So Thursdays are always ominous for the support crew. Do you reckon it would be a good diary this week? Just lie. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to think of like we've already planned.

Get out. Get out right now. I'll take a lap. No. There was too much thought that went into it and not. Hell yet, guys. I don't think, maybe it won't be. It felt like a good week to me.

Maybe it won't be. Really? Oh, no. What do you want me to say? What do you want me to say? We haven't properly planned it yet. Yeah, but you've been here for every minute of it, Dale. Yeah. Oh, wow.

We need to lift today. You know what? Maybe it's going to be the big shy guy diary because he had a lot of big moments this week. And so did, Babs. Good morning to you, sweet babes. Good morning. There was a lot of heavy lifting from the backstage crew this week. Yeah.

You and I might get our pay docked. What do you guys bring to the team? No, God, nothing. Hey, we're running the ship. Amen. Jess and Rowan, new for breakfast. Yeah, new for breakfast. I'm pressing the buttons.

You're making the videos. Thank you. I was like, I swear I contribute. And you know what's on the cards today, Rowan. I know it's been a long time between, I was going to say drinks, between forkfuls, the kids are. at daycare. I've got nothing on the agenda. We're getting another bean dish, baby.

I'm going to ask you where that was going on. I know, I know. I'm sorry. We forgot. I forgot. I forgot. Last Thursday had a bit creep up on me. Today, I've looked at the calendar. Nothing on the agenda. Maybe you could do two bean dishes.

Oh my God. That's a lot of beans for me to eat. You've still got another day in the week, tell. But it's on the card. So that's what I'm bringing to the table. Good one. Episode two in the beans. What is it? Can you say the recipe? Well, there's two. Okay, which would you like me to create if I can't get both done today?

Yep. A miso butter bean or a Tuscan canolini bean pasta. No, do the miso bean. You want the miso bean? The miso butter beans. Okay. Great. Don't you think shy guy? Yeah, I like the miso.

You like the miso. You like the miso. It's so yummy. And it looks like if you thought the last bean dish looked like prison food, wait until you see the miso bean. It looks like something. What's gruel? Gruel, you know, in Oliver Twist?

No. I thought it was more like dog food. You're a theatre kid. You know, Oliver Twist. Please, sir, may I have some more. Oh, that, yes, okay, right. The slop they would serve to the children. Ah.

It looks like something they would serve to peasant children. But I bet it's delicious. It's so delicious. What are the farts like? Not as bad as the can of me. Okay, all right. Still bad. Yeah, not as bad.

All right. That's me, sort of. Yeah, me so. butter bean. Mm. Tonight, you have it up tonight. I can have it up tonight. Oh, it's up to you.

She goes to daycare like nine to three. That's plenty of time. It's plenty of time. I need to bring you your pot back, by the way. Oh, my mum's pot. Yes, please, with a big bucket of soup. Ah, yeah, great. Are you yours or that mums?

No, you're right. She put the soup in that pot, but technically we're living at our mother-in-law's place. Angus's parents. There was a lot of mother-love into that big bucket of soup. Wow. Yeah, it's my mother-in-laws. Awesome. It was yum.

I'm glad. Oh, my God, it was young. Maybe I'll fill it with some miso butter bean. It's just my pot now that just gets filled with like stuff from the farches. I'm into that. That's actually not bad. You leave it at my door. I fill it and then I'll leave it at your door.

What? Is this shit? Where is it? The magic pot needs to be filled. It's like they joke with all those gross men say. I always put my like clothes on the floor and if I leave them here. In this spot. In this spot, they get washed, folded and put away.

My washing basket is magic. I put dirty undies in there. It's one of the great stuff. They magically appear clean in my cupboard. Yeah. They get the cops around. Guys, something's going on. I put my beer cans all over the table.

I go to bed, wake up, they're gone. They're gone. I don't know what's going on. That cleaning fairy that allegedly doesn't exist, she lives at my house. It's just Jen. Thanks, Jen. Shout out to all the Jens out there.

Big show today, guys. Obviously, Alpha Buck 7, 8 o'clock for $10,000 a pop. If you get nine, we'll give you another go. We're calling it, redemption round. Redemption round. But ever since we introduced redemption round, everyone's only got four. Oh, I think we've kind of ruled it, haven't we? I know.

And next, apparently Thursday is the luckiest day of the week. Why? I don't know. We'll figure out of that next. This is Jess and Rowan. We might have a very serious PSA for you and your oral hygiene next. What have I said multiple times? We're not just entertainment.

We are education. You learn when you listen to the show. show. Oh, that was nice. New World Cup. I was listening to our... I was trying not to sneeze. I was watching.

I was watching old videos of us. And when I say old, we've been on air together for 26 shows. It's just his favorite thing. It is my favorite thing because, God, I find us amusing. But remember that week, your voice was Kaputski? Oh, my God. I found one of those videos. I went, oh, damn.

Yeah, now he's back squawking. Barry White was my co-host. Where do you stand on Zodiac? Oh. Well, you're sitting technically. Don't lie to the people. My legs are tall. That's small.

Where do you sted your legs yesterday at the gym? Yeah. Take a load off, babe. Thanks, bad. Can we get Rowan one of those duna suits? You know, those ones that do, they're good for compression and stuff? That might be nice for his legs. Yep.

Work on that. And some skins as well, thanks. Oh, that's nice for the circulation. Put it in the budget. Where do you stand on Zodiac, on Star Sign, on leaning into the planet, Mercury and retrograde? I don't really understand it. I do appreciate the signs, but I don't know how people are deciding this is why you should feel this way because you're a Sagittarius.

Right. Do you know your, well, what a stupid question if you've just said that? Are you interested in knowing your sun ascending, your moon descending? Yeah, no. Because you know your star signs one thing, but then you've got your sons and your moons. No, no, no. It's, um, no, I forgot. But one of the girls that I used to DJ with, she,

used to be like a professional astrologer. Like she used to, whatever you call it, but she used to know, she was like, give me your birth time. Yeah, yeah,

and all that jazz. She was like, Steph was like, give text your mother right now and find it the minute you were born. Yes. And where is it? And she was like Googling it,

trying to find out the coordinates because she would know exactly where it all was in the Star charts. That was really interesting. Yes, but you don't remember anything she said. I just remember she was like, whoa, this makes sense. And it was,

it was like Pisces. So I'm like Pisces, but I'm March the 19th. So I'm on the edge of Ares, which is also nuts. Yes. And she's like, edge people. Because Pisces is a water sign, but Aries, fire signs. So there's a lot of conflict going on.

And they're both a bit like, wee-woo, and when you're on the edge anyway, you're like all mashed up and she was like, that makes sense. And then found my ascending or moon, I don't know. One of the suns or the moon. I love this shit. I don't understand it either, but I lean in hard. I was like, that's interesting.

Even though it is just, oh, that makes sense. It doesn't give you new information about yourself. It just sort of confirms what you might already feel or think or no? She actually did say she sent me what it would mean being this and this and this and this and this and this and it was like your like your life will change. Then like a month that I got the job. This job?

I'd actually never thought of it. Yes, that actually happened. Oh my God. Can we, you got still access to this woman? Yeah. She'd love to talk to us. Could we talk to her and pre, we don't even have to do it on it. I just now doing it for my own benefit.

Can I send her my birth time? She'll love that. Yeah, we'll get it on the air. We'll get it on the air. Send in your, um. No, but other people don't care about these shit. Oh, they know? We, no, I don't think so.

I just wanted to get to know you. Sure. But I would now like to Steph's details, please. Okay, excellent. The reason I wanted to know if you're on board or not is because, yes, as you mentioned, it has been deemed by the New York Post. Thursday to be the luckiest day of the week. Okay. Astrology explains why.

Right. Thursday relates to Thor's Day, named in honor of the North Guard of Thunder, of course, made famous by Chris Hemsworth. Mm. He is a deity closely. closely linked to Jupiter, aka Zeus, aka the god of lightning, aka the king of kings,

aka the swan seducer, aka the father slayer. And apparently that means today is the day we need to shoot our shots, place our bets, because everything's going to come up our number. We can use the plenitude energy,

don't ask me what that means, to feed our heads, what, through educational pursuits and expand our minds. Thursday's the day to do it because apparently the planets are all in lined in our favour.

Ah, right. Does it matter what your star sign is. Thursday is where it's working for all of us. Good to know. So if you've got a risk on the cards today, do it. You want to get back with your ex? Oh, if you want to apply for that job. If you want to send that risky text, do it.

Don't wait until tomorrow because Friday is ruled by a different god. So if you want to ask potentially if you're interested in a car salesman and want to see if he would cheat, you could ask today. You could ask today. shy guy, not looking at anyone in particular. Shy guy, I could keep setting all those dirty texts. He sends all those women that DM us. There you go.

So Thursday the day, to shoot your shot, don't wait till tomorrow. No. Don't go early on a Wednesday. Shy guy. What risk do you want to take today? I don't take risks. No, you don't. That wasn't even blocking.

That was just a truthful answer. I'm not lied to you. Okay. Is there one risk you can take? No. Why don't you ask for a pay rice today? but like from the CEO. Why do you wear some colour for once?

We don't have one. Oh yeah, he just walked. Yeah. Someone, some people will walk in there. We'll wait till next Thursday. This is Jess and Rowan. The debate has finally been settled. Well, people are still debating it, but it's,

a doctor's come out and said this is what you're going to do with your toothbrush. How long do you take to replace your toothbrush? So I've got the electric. We've got the heads. You know, interchangible heads. And to be honest, I, I, are you. I usually look for a bit of wear and tear on the head. When she starts fraying, I go, you're Dunsky.

Because they're not cheap, either are they the heads? They're not cheap, but I did just pick up one from Big W. How much? Well, the whole thing was $45. The heads, not too bad with a couple of replacement heads. Oh, okay. If you're doing Oral B or one of the fancy boys, I can't understand. They're a little bit price.

I picked up one other day for $2.10. An electric? No. Oh, manual. Analog. 210. That's fantastic. Tell me you got the extra soft.

I got the medium. Are you joking? That'll rip your gums apart. How are you going with that? A little bit blood out of this one here, to be honest. But they feel so smooth and clean. Oh, yeah, I don't know about medium, Dale. We started talking about it, and it looks like you're meant to replace them every three months.

Every three. Yeah, rock on. You knew that every three? I feel like I did know that. My fray method might actually be incorrect, but three I have heard. It's more often than people are. doing, I know that. Yeah, I normally go by the whole.

There's a couple of things here, every three months. Or when it looks a little worn down. Exactly. I'm more of a where it looks a little more worn down. Rowan, I dated a guy. I swear to you, the bristles were all nubs. I don't know how you're doing that? How long have you had this?

And on top of that, I've been kissing that mouth. You know what I mean? That's disgusting. The gut microbiome starts in the mouth. Hell, yeah, it does. Shy guy, I'll be honest. Your current toothbrush, how long have you? you had it?

Well, the heads change color. So, um, sorry? What do you mean? They start the, it's like an electric one and they change. Oh, wow. They start green and when they go yellow, you've got to replace it. That's amazing. I don't know what the timeline is.

So you have one of those dope like, R-LB ones. It's just like a $50 one. That's amazing. Yeah, it's like $5 each or something. Yeah, but there'd be people out there going, oh, Jesus. I don't know if I've changed it in a year. But sometimes they look at how long has that been your left for? Yeah.

A lot of people are saying I over do the. three month, or I do the, it's worn down, I'll replace it. Very good. Dr. Primrose Freestone, which I believe is a fake name. That is an unbelievable name. Yeah, every three months, you should put a timer on. Primrose says, Dr. P. Dr. Pee, thank you very much.

He says you should put a timer on it. Primrose Free Stone. Yeah. Sounds like either a hunger game person or a villain. I volunteer as tribute. Now, one thing I found interesting was not so much when you, You should replace your toothbrush. It's how you should clean it and how you should store it.

Pardon me, clean the toothbrush, beyond just rinsing. You heard me right. Okay, Dr. P. What else you got for us? You should wash your toothbrush after use every time under the hot water tap for at least 30 seconds. None of us have done that ever once. We've never done that once in our lives. Or you're almost like you've got to boil the kettle and then sterilise it.

Is that what Dr. P is saying? You've got to wash off the tooth. It's to wash off the toothpaste, bacteria, or the food residue that might be left from brushing. Because it sits in the toothbrush and gets gross. That makes sense. And then you use it back on your teeth. Your teeth still get gross. Do you ever pick your toothbrush up over the morning and go,

a bit of food stuff in there, obviously, from the night before? Another one is a really, they shampoo their toothbrush. Is this from Dr. P? Or is this just some random punter on the internet? No, she goes further. Dr. P. Dr. Freestone. Being a microbiologist, I also shampoo my toothbrush every week in antibacterial hand wash.

Also, not with hair shampoo. No, but that's how she shant-to. Oh, with like a dead old handstone. That's what it sounds like. And then puts it in her mouth. And then she would rinse it off, I guess. Yeah, but still wouldn't the residue of the soap? Wow.

I've never in my life washed my toothbrush. With the debtor pump. No way. And then you'd have to rinse it off. Is this one of those? Remember last week we talked about we're all wiping wrong and we should be blotting. Oh, have you tried the blotting yet? Well, that was an anal doctor.

I should listen to him, similar to Dr. Freestone. I don't know if I'm doing any of these things. I certainly haven't blotting if I'm going on. If I've made it this far, Rowan, I'm fine. I think I'm fine. We'll be okay. But we're raising the next generation, should we be teaching them to blot and to be hand-sooping their toothbrushes?

Good luck hand-sooping your toothbrush in that house. I can't get her to have a shower, let alone hands like her to do anything. This is Jess and Rowan. Guys, we're going to do hose chat now. Thank you for that. Oh, tell me a song I haven't thought of in a while. Bombs away. Bombs away?

What are they done since? Oh, they're still touring that. Okay, they're dining out on the royalties of Super Soca. Can you believe it? It's a perfect segue. No one cares about your Zodiac sign, says one Instagram post. What's your favorite garden hose setting? Oh, I've got mine.

It has popped off thousands of contributions. Oh, yeah. I'd like to apologise to the person who put this on the internet because half an hour ago, we talked about Zodiac signs. True. Center where it shoots out the middle, flat where it's sort of halfway between a mist and the center. Yep. Jet, which will knock a person over. Don't shoot that at Grandma.

No. shower, which is the full circular ring, a lot of water coming through. The mist, obviously, if you have a herb garden, a very light dusting of water. It's good. The cone, which is obviously just the mist, but harder in that cone shape. And then the most controversial of all, the soaker. What is the soca? The soca, where it's literally you were getting so much water dribbling out.

It's like one of those big mastiff dogs. Just blal, la, la, la. Out the mouth. Between two. I go between two. Talk to me. I will do shower. You're a shower boy?

For the grass. So a lot of water coming out? Yeah, and it's even. It feels consistent. And then depending on if it's too far away for the hose, I try to get the back ends of the grass with the jet. And aim it up. Yeah.

Do the big arc. Well, I aim the shower up, actually. So I figure it go up. But if I can't get so far, like down the driveway, there's like a dead trip. You got a short hose. I will like hit the jet and do a little. one of these in my hands.

You're going to have to explain to the people. So I move my hand left to right just so the bloody... You're doing a wiggle! Yeah, doing the hand wiggle so that the water goes a little bit left to right and covers it properly. Because the shower would cover the whole thing, but not the jet. The jet. But if you jetted that far, you might disturb the seedlings. God forbid you had a herb.

You punch it out of the dirt. So the waggle loosens up the veracity. What are you using? The ferocity. I can't tell you the last time I picked up a hose. Rowan. So just purely looking, the Soca does look a bit of fun to me. The Soker. But it also doesn't have any distance, the Soker.

So is it literally just to wet your garden bed? Yeah, maybe clean the cross. It's apparently a pressureless. Pressureless. Really, yeah. Way of getting water into like a pot plant or something without spitting up all the sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because sometimes if you are watering your rosemary in a pot, you don't want to create divvets in the soil.

So I think the soker is a bit of fun, but cone looks fun to me too. But why are we coning? Wouldn't you just shower? No, shower looks like too much water to me. So you want less water? I want less water. I want to be able to control. Being a hose novice, I want to be able to control.

Hose noob. Hose nob. People got in touch on the comments, as I said. Someone said, jet fo sure, I hold it sideways to feel gangster. Oh, that's gay. He's gangster for show. Someone else said missed because there's always a rainbow. With that level of water coming out,

create your own new rainbow. Did you write that, Babbs? No, I didn't. That sounds like a Babbs thing. Someone said, I like to use the centre, that really strong stream. Hmm, hard. And they said, F the plants. Yeah.

Because obviously, you're going to punch your mouth. See ya. And someone said, what WTF is the Soker for? Shy guy, you're excited about this? What's your contribution? It's got to be the cone. Your cone. Everyone loves the cone.

No, they don't. Yeah, I think they do. I've never used the cone. My hose at home has another setting where it's like vertical down. So you can't hold it straight, but it shoots it down. Why? It's good for grass. But you can't just angle it.

You're lazy. It's already, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven settings. You've got eight. Yeah, I've got a premium one. O four, double eight, double eight one six nine. Do you have an opinion on hose settings? Hell, are you a landscape gardener? What's your favorite hose setting?

What's your favorite hose setting? Babs? I don't really use hoses, but centre looks good. Centre looks fine, I guess. 131060, what's your favourite hose? Favorite setting on the hose? Yes. What are you back in?

What are you back in? This is Jess and Rowan. We were just talking all about your favourite hose setting. Seems to be the general consensus. The soca is no one's favourite. I like the look of it. We've got a community garden. apartment block.

Oh, yeah. There is a hose there. All right. Maybe I'll go test out. Go, just see what you like. Just see what I like. Try them out. See what might be your favorite.

See what your favorite. How do you? Center flat, jet, shower, mist, soak a cone. You like a mist, I think. The mist does look nice, and I do like to look after my herbs. What type of, you obviously know,

but what do I strike you as most? If I was up here a hose setting, what would I be? A hose setting? I was going to launch into it. Careful. Yeah, shower. It's for you. Yeah.

Don't ask why. I was going to say something. Okay, that's weird. That wasn't weird until he said, don't ask why. I would just say, thank you. Rachel got in touch and said, I'm missed sun and moon with jet rising. Great gear.

Alana on the text line said, I love the shower setting. It has the perfect pressure and coverage. Yeah, yeah. And someone else says, I love Super Soka and I love my foam cannon. What? It's a foam can't

Super Soak that hoe Yeah What's a foam cannon? Oh it's like one of those like Guns you'd used to like wash your car with Oh so they're not doing the garden They're doing the... I guess it's a hose attachment

Yeah it's a hose attachment To do the car We stayed in the garden Yeah we're in the garden Not using a foam cannon on your herb garden Yeah Oh good friend of the show Robbie Good morning

Hi Robby! Hi babe What are you doing in the hose department. Favorite shower? Yep. Yep, you and roll on. It's a nice coverage without blasting.

It's good. Yeah, I agree. Least favourite is the jet because it just sprays the soil every week. Yes, too rough the jet. Yeah, too rough. Would you hit the jet on the, like, the footpath to get some of the debris off the footpath?

Oh, you high-pressure hosing, yeah. Well, just with the jet, because if you don't want to get out, the high pressure. Yeah, yeah, Robbie. I'm not a lazy bastard, right? And I use a brew. What's that? This is Jess and Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, for $10,000, you've got to get 30 seconds. You get 10 questions. You get them all right. You got one letter. They sort of start with that answer. Have I ever, ever sold Alpha Bucks before? What's going on?

Are you okay? My brain just, maybe I didn't need that coffee. You went and made a coffee. Has it tipped you over the edges? Is your cup now overflowing? Hang on. Oh, I didn't put the whiskey in it. I didn't put the whiskey in it.

That's the problem. You're doing this sober. It's impossible to do this. What am I doing? 30 seconds. 10 questions, one letter. Use that letter. Get them all right.

Today playing, we have Priscilla from Darylwank. Yep. Nice. Good morning, Missyla. Good morning. Firstly, do people ever call you queen to the desert? All the time. Yes.

At least once or twice the day. I am a basic bee. also call you Queen at the Desert? And said, I reckon she gets it every day. She would get it every day. It's one of the great names. What is your nickname? Pris, Silla.

Prissy? Yeah, my nana used to call me Prissy. I love. May we call you Prissy also? Oh, go ahead. Thanks, babe. You sound like a good time. Prissy, what do you want to spend our 10 grand on?

Well, I need a new lawn mower, but I do have two kids that have birthdays this week and next week. So I've got Irish twins. So one's this week and then the older brother's birthdays next week. Oh, damn. Okay, busy time for you, Priscilla, but I love that a lawn mower is top of the agenda. We were just talking about hoses. We are all about lawn maintenance. Oh, yeah.

Chrissy, I love my lawn. This is a great omen for you. Your letter's pee. Pee from Priscilla. Wow. You like that? I do. I do, but I don't.

Okay. What letter would you like? Oh, I don't know. I mean, they're all the same, aren't they? Well, I mean. I thought you've just got to go for it. You do, Priscilla, because I don't know if I can actually change the sheet now. Your letter is P.

Your letter is absolutely P. Let's do it. Let's get her a new lawnmower. Sure. Your time will start after the first question. Prissy, here we go. Starting with a letter P, we need you to name. An international city.

Perth. A periodic element. Potassium. Something in the pantry. Pastor. An Aussie athlete. A rom-com. Pass.

A phone app. Fly my phone. Oh no. A zoo animal. Panther. A sport. Oh, pass. Oh, no.

It's terrible. It's hard. It's the clock. It's hard. I get it, Prissy. Prissy from the get-go. though. I said international city. I know, international.

Yes. Could have Prague. I know Perth is very far away, but... It's not international. Aussie athlete could have Pat Cummings, Peter Sterling, Patrick Carrigan, Romcom. Yeah, yeah. I had Pat Rafter before.

Absolutely, a big tennis boy. Pretty woman for rom-com. That actually, you know what? I've never heard Jess getting tested before the show ever passed on one. Passed on that one. Passed on rom-com. So not to make you feel better, Prissy, but if I couldn't get it, no one could have.

And ping pong pal lifting for a sport. Sorry, Dahl. No problem. Thank you. I'll keep trying. Thank you, Prissy. And I wish your kids a happy birthday from us. Happy birthday from the game.

Playing again at 8 o'clock. I feel like you've ginked them a bit now. Now jinx them a bit. If you get nine, we'd let you pay again, but no one's gotten close. Oh, Lucia found something under the couch. Oh, yeah. It led to a screaming match. No.

Next. This is Jess and Rowan. Something happened in my house yesterday, Rowan. Just the joys of having a toddler, the joys of having someone in your life, in your family, in your house that doesn't quite have a grasp of appropriateness. You know, it's always funny. It's always amusing.

But living in the apartment, I always get a little concerned about how loud we're getting, the neighbours. Oh, yeah, I can't be. Luchia, my two-year-old, two and a bit, very much in her throwing and catching era. Oh, yes, she is. Very much in the throwing and catching.

Actually, I think last time you came over, there was some throwing and catching. All she wanted to do is play catch. Exactly. We got catching hands going on. And she likes to really push the boundaries. She'll stand down the corridor. Yes, she does. She wants you to piff it at her.

And I'm like, I'm going to put too much sauce on this and clonky in the face. I was chucking it out of hard, to be fair. I was no qual. She hit it in her face and she giggled. I was like, there a girl. Baptism by fire. Here we go. Poof.

But she doesn't want to play with the little kitty balls or the soft beach. balls. She keeps finding, Angus, my husband's, they're like rocks that you roll, your shoulders or your plan of fasciitis. I want to say stress balls, but they're not stress balls. What are they called? Yeah, they're massage balls. Massage balls.

They're awesome. You roll your foot on them and you put them behind your, because there's little bits in your back you just can't get to. But if you put it on the wall, you can really rub into it and you can kind of massage your back. So he can't find any of these because obviously Lucia now thinks they're play things. But anyway, we were playing. with one yesterday and it rolled under the couch.

And I went, well, go get it. Oh, yep. You did the bad throw. You go fetch it then. Yeah, that's fair. Totally. So she gets under there. She's looking and she reaches, pulls it out, but then goes back again.

I went, all right, she's found something else under there. What rolled under there last week? Little trouble dog. Pulls out a second of these balls. And for the rest of the afternoon, Rowan, I had to deal with the two and a half year old running in their house going, I've got two balls. She was ecstatic. I've got two balls.

What? No more throwing and catching because all we did was run up and down the corridor. She's really coming out with some full sentences now, isn't she? I've got two balls. Mom. I've got two balls. It was just perfect timing because my husband came home an hour later to her screaming, I've got two balls.

And without missing a beat, he goes, me too, babe. He's come on thinking, great from him. I need to be. home more. Absolutely. The dogs looking over being like, oh, they sucked mine out in that surgery last year. This is Jess and Rowan.

I wanted to play some audio. I think I said this on air, the start of the show yesterday. Yesterday, wasn't it a show guy? Yesterday in the start of the show. Yeah, listen to this. I'll tell you what, this heat, I'm not sleeping. I'm just not like, not sleeping. And then, if you're an air con company and you'd like a bit of spawn

con, Ron is available for sale. Yeah, well, send a little portable one or something. A little portable one. Yeah. We could cut a hole out of your rental and just shove an aircony. Totally. Is this a landlord think? Do we need to write a stern, E.

Yeah, but I don't think, I don't think, I don't think I'm going to be there longer. We're going to be there longer than the time anyway. No, not really. Don't want to kick up a stink. That is the key point, Jessica, is that I set on air, it's so hot. I can't sleep. I don't think we're going to be there much longer. Inferring, this is an untenable situation, I'm going to break my lease to go find somewhere with aircon.

Yeah, I just, well, maybe it's about to get cold. So maybe I'll just see it out. I'm not doing another summer like this. Fair enough. I get a lovely email, two emails actually, yesterday afternoon from the real estate agency. And it said, it was this one of the automated ones and said, hi, Rowan. We've requested a quote from blah, blah, blah, electrician. Oh, they're doing work on the house.

Whatever, that's fine. Then next, straight away, we've received a quote. I requested a quote for air conditioning. And I went, stop. So from you saying it on air and us having a little joke. I love a manifestation, but this feels like they may have heard me. I want to get your thoughts. Do you reckon A, the landlord or the real estate agent has heard me say,

this sucks, I want to leave. Or two, the landlord's going, oh, I want to sleep there when he's gone. Oh, because that was the other issue, wasn't? issue, wasn't it? You thought maybe with how short the lease was originally. This is just let's fill a gap for a bit and then we'll move back in as the landlord they'll take back over.

Because they bought it, when they bought it and they put it straight on the market only wanted six months. Sure. And then we were like, no one wanted it for six months. We did 12. You make a great point. I reckon it's that. They have got their sights. Oh, we're going to move in soon. Yeah. Let's fix all the issues. This bloke has Because guys, you know how easy, like, you know how hard

it is to get stuff like, like, this is my renter homies. how hard it is to get really good internet if they have to dig up driveways and stuff you have to do it. I really want all the good fibre. I called real estate and I was like, oh, they're going to hate it.

Anyway, got back to me and said, oh, do whatever you need. I went, that was too easy. That was too easy. So, sorry, from us talking about it on air, you didn't send a stern email. No, nothing, nothing. There was no other correspondence.

You just magically get this. I've just accepted it. I've just accepted it. Do you sometimes feel in the depths of the morning before the sun has risen? No one's there. It's just you and me. People are listening.

I forget. Even though it's like we have this huge windows, I forget, sometimes I forget shy guys there. I know, it's you and me locked in. Yeah. We're just having a little chitty chat. So I was wondering. Well, you are very quiet.

Can you just, I'll tell you, Michael. Can you just, what do you reckon? You reckon, A, it's because they want to move and then they're like, well, if he can't see, what I'm going to be able to sleep? I don't think they're trying to keep you happy. No, they don't care. As the tenant. Because I told girlfriend Lucy, I said, what are you? And she's like, oh, maybe, maybe they want to, they want to keep us in there because they have to do a little stop gap before somewhere else.

And I was like, no, babe. I reckon they're like, we don't want to have to deal with that. Exactly. I reckon they've only just put two and two together. You're the bloke on the radio. Maybe. You know what I'm saying? There's actually some problems with my blinds and then we could also, I would,

the fan doesn't work. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowans. What's the threesome? What's the threesome game? We're playing it. You describe it, Jess. Shy guy is going to give us three things.

We're going to tell him what those three. things have in common give him the category, but the hard part is what has shy guy deemed them to have in common? We could give four answers. Babs is in here as well. Hello, Babs. Hello. She should be the best at this game because they spend the most time together, but famously, one of the worst at this game. Why are you not the best at it? I don't know. I didn't get in his head. It just takes me a little while, I think.

Can I just say while you're on air, how proud of you I am for trying coffee, no milk. I know, it's a little bit weird. I'm taking that as a personal. Really? Yeah, that you'd like trust me. I want to be skinny, so I'm going to try it. If you missed it yesterday, Rowan. Everything Rowan's doing now is making him little skinny.

Everything, Rowland went on a huge rant about if you put milk in coffee, you're not a real coffee drinker. Babs took it to heart. The wording was, you like milkshakes, not coffee. Which I agree with. Anyway, sorry. Continue. Back to what's the threesome. Shy guy.

Rip and Tampa. Yeah, first one. Submariner. Daytona Rolex They're They are Rolex watches I win

Are you gonna say but Oh I heard Daytona And I thought of the The race car Yeah You would have been wrong Ah yeah Yeah obviously

Thank you Pub fiction Armageddon The 6th Bruce Willis Movies They are Bruce Willis Moody

I was thinking Tarantino Yeah Yeah Your mic on The Wollaby Cucabara

Casawari The Australian Animals Australian Birds Australian animals. What did you say the first one was? I didn't even hear the first one. A wallaby.

Oh, wallaby. My apologies. I missed the first one. Who got it? Boiard. Me. Oh, nice. Good one, that.

All right. One a piece. Wayfarer, Aviator, Clubmaster. Brabant. Raband models of Raybans. Yeah, I would take that. You're doing good with the fashion categories, Rowan. Thank God I didn't put the whiskey in my coffee.

Praying. Take it off. Jesus. Kesha. Kesha. Songs. Keshah songs? Did I get it?

Is that mean? It was Kesh's song written down. Oh, that's got the point. Also, Kesh is so bad, guys. She's so bad. That's why she's in the three. What did she headline recently? Oh, a big gay party.

But that's what was called, but it was. Yeah. It was all. It looked great though. Ricky Lee was there and stuff. It was awesome. Mowboy was there, I think. Hell yeah.

You should let me go. By the way, I went to a Kesha show once. It's the greatest show. She's amazing. Just TikTok. go off its head and blow. No, blows the biggest. It's about to blow.

I think it's the biggest radio song, but in the room, oh. Oh, yeah, I like timber. It is very good. Timber's great. Anyway, Rowan's about to school us. If one of us doesn't get this, it's over. MCG, Wembley, A. Stadiums in Australia.

Very big stadiums. Football stadiums? Keep going. The biggest stadiums in those countries. Keep going. Olympic venues. Where they've played grand finals. Keep going.

Oh, football venues. So very big stadium. Over 80,000 hold? Over 100,000 people. Oh, you get them. Not 100,000. Over 80,000? Over 80,000.

Yeah. Over 80,000. Yeah, they hold over 80,000 people. And they had over, they were the top three stadiums for the Taylorists. Two of them were in Australia. One of them was in Wendley. So do I get that? Which means, Babs you're out.

Babs out. If I get it to a tie. Yeah. Okay. Section 31, Shield Spectar. Marvel, Marvel TV shows. Superhero agencies? Marvel movies?

Give me more. Supervillain, something about agencies. Superhero, super villain, supervillain, supernatural. Wait, have you got it or not? She's getting, he's very close, flirting with it. The fictional spy organisation. Oh, mate, no one's getting that. You get that point.

You take to a tiebreaker. Let's make it interesting, Rowan. All right, tiebreaker. Darth Punk, Elton, John, Kendrick. Lamar. What are they all have in common? People who have collaborated with Jewelieper? Is that something about collaboration?

No, but I like that, but no. Okay, thanks. What is it? Darth Punk. Alton John, Kendrick Lamar. They've all done one thing. They've played at... No.

No? For the win. They all wear weird things in their face sometimes? No. Well, not what I'm looking for. Sorry, can we have a clue? Darth Punk, Elton and Kendrick. I have all made.

something. Songs for each other. For movies. Soundtrack! Oh no. They've all done. Yay! Darth Punk did Tron. Eldon John did the Lion King. Kendriulton did the Black Panther soundtrack. Thank you. Okay, not bad. Well done.

What did Darth Punk do? Tron. Big Disney Man. Oh, yeah, Tron. Just like Charlie XX did Wuthering Heights. Nice. Regrins. Like that? I love that. It's not what's the foursome, though, Rowan. No, it's not. This is Jess and Rowan.

I'm getting, I'm not going to use the word harassed. You can use it. That feels dramatic, but I'm probably one or two more texts or calls away from saying, okay, this woman's harassing me now. Okay, this woman is harassing me. About a month and a half ago, I get a text. A lovely picture. Three women, I do not know.

I have sent you the picture, my friend. I see how this is. All right, let me just pull this up. Have a little look at the three women, gorgeous, older ladies. You don't know them? I don't know them. Do we want to describe the picture for the cookies? I don't know them.

Yeah, they're like ladies in their 60s. No way. My mum's in her 60s. These ladies got to be in their 80s. No, these aren't 80s. Maybe late 60s. No way, my mum's in her 60s. You reckon it's the same age as my mum?

Yeah, but your mum looks fantastic. She does, and had no work done. These days haven't got any work done. That woman's full grey. Sorry, now I'm judging these women I don't know. I thought grannies. They're nans. Yeah, but your mum's a nann.

What are you doing? Anyway, shy guy, how old jerking these ladies are? I would have said 80s. No. Top of 60s, early 70s. All right, between 60 and 80. Okay, mate. Three women at a cafe, smiling at the camera.

That you don't know. I do not know these women. And the accompanying message was, Congratulations on 20 park runs. Thank you for your friendship and for lunch today. I feel blessed for your friendship. with many of the love heart emojis. I thought that was so freaking sweet

that I didn't want to leave that unread or unresponded to, I should say. So I responded and I said, hello. Not me. Congratulations on the 20 park runs. I think you've got the wrong number though. Would hate for the recipient not to receive this lovely message of friendship. Oh, that's too much effort.

No reply. And I went, okay. A couple of days later, I get another text from this woman, who I'm assuming is one of the women in that picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Jackie. Right, it's Jackie. She, well, she thinks I'm Jackie.

Oh, sorry, you're Jackie. She goes, hey, Jackie, that play where we were discussing is called Losing Face. It's playing at these dates, at this times. When you read up on it, you'll see how hilarious it'll be. See you Thursday for our run. I said, hello. I'm not Jackie. This is not.

Jackie and I'm worried she's now not getting your messages. No response. I get a response. Oh, okay. Thank you for telling me I will delete this. I will delete your number. Good. Yesterday, Rowan.

I got a two-minute voicemail. Now it's illegal for me to play audio without someone's consent. Boring. But she has left a full voicemail saying, Jackie, I'm outside your house. Oh, darling. Oh, you have picked a winner. This is a beautiful home.

I can't wait to come over, but I just wanted to let you know I was in the area, passed by, pulled over, stopped and had a look. It's like, it's giving stalker vibes. I have written back, hello again. One more time. This is not Jackie. I'm not Jackie.

And I'm worried. This woman, well, she actually doesn't care that Jackie's not responding. Who cares, mate? Because she keeps messaging Jackie. I don't know what to do. I've told, do I call her? Yeah. And try and get on the phone.

Hello. Do you me to call her? Ma'am. I can call her. I'll call for you. Maybe you can call her. But be nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll call her.

That's what I'm saying. She's in her 80s because I don't think my mum would make a mistake like this. Stop calling me. Because you know how anxiety filled I get when someone rings my phone? You keep calling this local celebrity? Yeah, we're going to call her. All right, this is what we're going to do. I'm going to call her.

All right, you call her? Yeah. Wait, do you reckon she lives in the area? Who knows? Oh, should I try to meet up with her? Say, hey, it's Jackie. Do you want to go for that coffee? Oh my God, that's next thing.

You don't call her. You text her and go, hey. Are you free? Are you free for a run? But I don't know where she is. How do I work out where she is? I'll look up the play. You say, where do you want to meet?

Where do you want to meet? Where do you want to meet? And then we can work it out. Yeah. Anyway, I just, I don't know what to do. I've told this woman four times now. Wrong number. We'll play alpha bucks and we'll come back and we'll draft them next.

All right. So what, okay, okay. Yeah, we'll do that. This is Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. We are fanging to give away the $10,000 and it could be with you today. Hello. Katie. Good morning.

Wow. Not many people, if any, Katie, have had a musical introduction from Rowan. Yeah, Rowan, how did that feel? Morning, Katie. I'm a musical theatre kid, so I love it. Oh, fantastic. Well, you were just picking up on Katie's vibe, Ro Roe. What do you want our 10 grand for, Katie?

What are you going to spend it on? We need a new car and pay off some bills, all that fun, exciting adult stuff. All right. Well, maybe you're not. Well, maybe you'd like to have a look at a GWM go to one of their dealerships. Yeah. Because that car starts with a G. Ah, that's your letter.

Okay. And that's what you're working with, okay? Okay. All righty. Your time will start after the first question. You ready? Yes. Starting with the letter G.

Oh, no. Do you need to attend to the baby? It's okay. I might just step out of the car for two seconds. My oldest can give her a dummy. All right, let's go. It's only 30 seconds. Are you ready?

Okay, I'm ready. Starting with the letter G, we need you to name. A type of flower. Geranium. A dog breed. A golden retriever. A country. Germany.

A pantry food. Pass. A cartoon character. Pass. A verb. Rated. Something rough. Gravel.

A book. Pass. A school subject. Geography. A male singer. Pass. A pantry food. Okay, you can get back in the car now.

A Honourable five, my dear. Honourable indeed. Oh, not bad, not bad. Not bad. Not $10,000, unfortunately, Katie. All right. Could have had, you could have granola, pantry food, could have Garfield goofy for a character.

A verb. Could have go. To be fair, she said graded. Grated? Yeah, like to grate something. Oh, so six. Yeah, yeah. I'll pay that.

She did the past tense, but I used to have her. She grated the cheese. Book, you didn't want to do Gulliver's travel? Haven't heard of it. Okay, that's all right. Very niche. That's okay. All right, thank you, Katie.

We play again tomorrow for $10,000 at $7 and 8 o'clock. Absolutely. Jess has been getting messages from this lady. She's somewhere between the ages of 60 and 90. We can't work out based on her. Just starting to say, but she wants to block this poor woman who doesn't know who she's texting. we're going to do, we're going to draft a message together to send her after countless wrong messages to you.

She won't leave me alone. I've told her a number of times, I'm not your friend, Jackie. She just needs some help. We'll talk to her now. We'll send the message. We'll send the message. This is Jess and Rowan. I was just sharing with you, Rowan, that I'm kind of getting harassed by a grandma.

Oh, man. Someone has obviously missaved their friend Jackie's phone number and I am now on the receiving. evening end of a bunch of messages from what is clearly a lovely older lady trying to share nice things with her friend Jackie. And you have told her on multiple occasions, hi, sorry, wrong number. First I said, you know, a little bit of chitchat off the photo she sent me and then I went, but by the way, I'm not Jackie. Not Jackie. Then I got a request to join her for a play. Sorry, I'm not Jackie. I'm not Jackie. I don't want Jackie to miss the invite. Yeah. Yesterday I got a two in a voicemail that this woman was outside

Jackie's house. And now I've got the guilt, Rowan. You don't know who Jackie is. But I'm also getting the annoyances because I don't like when my phone rings. You don't? Yeah. I'm a millennial woman and when the phone rings, I think someone's died. Well, Jackie may have been, who knows? Who knows? But this woman was outside Jackie's house. So if she's not answering.

Well, let's message Jackie now together. No, I'm Jackie. Sorry. We don't know this woman's name. Let's call her Beryl. Beryl. She does look older to me and I'm scared if we get in touch with Beryl. She goes, She said she left you a voice message that we haven't heard. No, no, because we won't play it on it.

I'll play it for you, Rowan. Yeah, yeah. Does she sound a little bit older? And I want, yes. Yes, I get better. Well, you know why she sounds older because she's not listening or reading that I'm saying, I'm not, Jackie? But there's a tone in the voice on the voice.

There is a tone and she's got a sweet grandma tone. Is she saying, oh, hello, Jackie. Yeah, that's kind of the vibe. I knew it. I know it so well. And I've just realised there's a piece of the puzzle here to give us an indication where she is. Obviously, we are in New South Wales. Oh, what is it?

play that she message Jackie about that I think they're trying to hook up and go. MTC. That, I believe, Melbourne Theatre Company. Interesting. So they're in Melbourne. I think she's in Melbourne. All right. Her name.

And I just looked up when the play is on, losing face is the play she wants to go see. It's on in June. So they don't have a long time to secure tickets. No, this is bad. If this is going to go like hot cakes. Jackie might miss out, shy guy. You don't seem to care. Hello.

So, hello. I'll say good morning. Morning, morning. This is not Jackie. I have told you. But who are you? Unfortunately, I've told you a couple of times. This is not Jackie.

Jackie. Now sounds like you're trying to date her. Who knows? She might be sure. My name is Jess. Do I say that? My name is Jess. Should I send a photo of us?

She sent a photo of me and her friends. Keep me out of this. You've inserted yourself, Jal. I wasn't going to reply again. Okay. Come over here, Shogar. Take a photo. Babs come in here.

Come stand behind the desk. Take a photo of us. Oh. I'll send our promo pick. Yeah. We look cute in that. Send her a podcast link. We might gain a listener.

Totally. I am not Jackie. I'm Jess. My name is Jess. Yeah. I'm not Jackie. I'm Jess. I'm famous.

Would you like me? That's disgusting. I have a free BMW from down the road. I'm renovating my house. Oh, all right. Do you want to see my peacock toilet roll holder? Send you the photo of the peacock toilet roll holders. Great conversation started.

Guys, guys, we're getting off. We're getting off track. She's trying to find Jackie. Should I have voice memo? Would you like us to help you find Jackie? Give us her full name. Oh, so us? You're happy to insert now?

Us? Is that okay? Us is fine. Help you track down Jackie's number. So you can get tickets to that play. Yeah. It sounds fantastic. If it sounds, if it's good enough, get a third I'll be there.

Ha ha. would love to come with you guys. Ladies, please. Guys, you don't call 80-year-old women guys. Oh, here we go. Good morning. Thank you. Also, how, can I ask, is too soon to ask,

how old are you? We're debating it. No, throw it in. Why not? Also, how old are you? Mate, she's doing park runs. Nah, anyone can do a park run. Good morning.

Just wanted to make sure you know this is not Jackie. Yep. My name is Jess. Yep. Would you like us to help you track down Jackie's number so you can get tickets to that play? It sounds fantastic. And stop messaging me. And then.

You can delete my number. Thank you. Thank you. Have a great day. That's pretty good. All right. Let's see what happens. Okay.

Well, let's pay some pink and see if she sends it back a message. You're going to respond in two minutes 20. Yeah, you should see how fast my mom messages. Wow. Or it comes by Carrier Pigeons. Headwick. This is Jess and Rowan. There's a little story going around at the moment that I related to quite heavily.

Men are now eating like dogs, literally. The viral boy kibble trend is taking over social media. And it's really simple. Ground beef and rice bowls. No frills, no fancy plating. Just pure protein-packed fuel. So can I just have the start of that again, please, Rowan? Men are now eating like dogs, literally.

I love how she hits dogs. I like that a lot. So boy kibble. It's like girl dinners, I think, but now it's calling boy kibble. So girl dinner was basically, I'm too lazy to create a meal and cook. I'm going to pull stuff out of the fridge, maybe some pickles, maybe some crackers, a little bit of cheese, little charcuter. Girl dinner.

What's Boy, Kibble? Well, Kibble is like an American word for dog food. Maybe Kibble might even be a brand, I think. No, Kibble, you're right. I think it's just the generic name of like the dried biscuits, right? Dog biscuits. And I saw a really famous chef actually on Canadian chef called Maddie Matheson. You've ever seen him, I think he's the funniest guy.

It's a great name. He's unbelievable. My girlfriend, Lucy, loves him. He reminds her of me. Okay. But he made this thing once, and I was like, Oh my God, I'm going to try and make that. He called it his dog bowl.

Because he was also... He's a huge guy, like big, big dude. He was trying to lose some weight. So he used to make the dog bowl. Oh, that sounds horrific. And the dog bowl is really just like eggs, ground beef and rice. Because he's a, you know, has like 10 restaurants and it's squillionaire. Like, he's this beautiful dog bowl.

So he could make the ground beef yummy. Like, seasonings are allowed. It's just like boy dinner. Like I went through a period there where all I did was I bought. microwave. Not the microwave meals? Yeah, but... The my muscle chefs and stuff?

No, no, no. Like just like the Coles butter chicken. Like microwave. It had one half was rice. One half was butter chicken and then you could take it to the work. Microwave. Heat it up. That was my boy kibble for a long time.

Well, no, now I need to understand a little bit better because girl dinner has an element of laziness. It's pretty lazy. But the dog ball sounds unflavored and very boring. Whereas you butter chicken. whilst it's lazy, flavourful. So which one are we going for? Is it a weight loss thing?

Is it a meal prep thing? Is it a bland thing? Because you the other day, Tom, you had just a plain porterhouse with no accompaniment. Oh my God, I just had a bed. That feels boy kibbley to me. I had a, oh my God, that's like a dog treat. It is.

Gianni, my dog would go nuts for that. There's another grab here. Fitness fans say that they chow down up to seven times a week to save money and pack on gains. Plus, it's cheap and easy. Some call it efficient. Others call it sad, but nutritionists are saying it's probably a good idea to add some veggies to your boy kibble. I used to do a lot of boy kibble, aka ground beef and white rice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just mince. Oh, God. Unflavored. Yeah. I can't, not meant to be having the white rice anymore. Too spiky for the insulin. Too spiky, apparently. So.

You're not cooking it long enough if your rice is still spiky. Oh, spiky? Like, ah. Get a rice. Now I have a lot of colic flour and zucchini and pumpkin. Okay, so literally a bowl of men's house. Food is one of the great joys in this sad little existence. What about like an Italian dog bowl?

You could do like an Italian dog bowl or something. I think most of that would kill the dog though. You can't have been marinated peppers. This is Jess and Rowan. Are we meant to be talking? Yeah. What happened? You didn't turn the microphone.

Oh my God, I thought it was going to ads. So we'll just change things around, guys. To be fair, it's a very short song. Anyway, thanks. Oh my God, that song is the quickest song. What were you watching? I was watching this guy. Not the peanut, really?

I watched this guy talk about burgers. Guys, I'm really going through it. We do talk about, we do talk to each other during, but I was highlighting and Rowan was watching burgers. Babs and I watched it today. Not Maddie Matheson. No. Your favourite chef?

Oh, my God. Why are you watching food things when you know you're on a restreesome? You've died at the moment. It's what I'm doing, man. Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment for you? It just popped up and I just was like, oh, look, I got stuck. Back in the day. When you could enjoy a burger?

Yeah, I could do it now if I wanted. But you wouldn't. You're going to go against your naturopath's orders. He's put you on a very restrictive situation. Yeah, got on your pet. Yeah, got on your pet. Anyway, we're here in Istanbul. Because I think we just need to take a moment for people who go above and beyond for our four-legged or feathered friends.

Please do. There was an amateur football final being played in Istanbul. Great place to visit if you're interested. Great markets. I'd love to go there. Turkey is sick. Oh, my apologies. Turkey is a sick place to visit.

Turkey? Yeah, because the president didn't like that he was getting confused with the bird. So he wants everyone internationally. T-U-R-K-I-Y-E. I'm going on, Turkey. Well, then don't visit it because you'll be shun. I want to go there. Amateur football final in Istanbul.

the goalie Muhammad kicks the ball away saves the goal but kicks doesn't catch it kicks it away good one smacks the ball into a passing Seagal Rowan What

Team captain Garnie Katan goes Stop the play I can help runs over to this knocked out seagull What would be your first response You're an amateur football Like you're in the grand final Rowan

Well I don't laugh like that chugga No I just want to Watch the footage. That would be my reaction. Okay, so you're Garnie Katan, the captain. You're not stop and play to run over. No way. You're giggling.

The game's got to keep going. You're probably high-fiving your goalkeeper being like, hell of a shot, bro. Oh. Well, Garnie Katan is better than a soul. He runs over. Instinct takes hold. Starts giving the bird CPR. Blown on its mouth.

Yep. Chest compressions. Oh, with two fingers? Oh, no, doesn't say the mouth bit. He just starts chest compressions. Oh, thank you. Is this real footage? He's using his full palm.

That looks like a fake bird. That's a fake bird. Shagai, is this real? Have you given me a fake story? It's legit. They're going to break into the Harlem shake. What are we doing? Oh my God, because look, he brought it.

See the legs? What? What? So, Darnie Katan stops play, runs over, starts doing chess compressions on this stunned seagull. That's impressive. I don't see in the vision, though, that he checked pulse like he thought this.

He's worth doing. He obviously just went into it. His legs are kicking. And when he was interviewed afterwards. he goes, I have not had any formal first-day training. It was a reflexive attempt to save the animal. No, I know in some cultures, birds are revered. Seagull's here.

I don't think are revered. They annoy us on the beach. I wouldn't. I just eat my chips from... But in Turkey, yeah, obviously he went, I can save this creature. Turkey? He turned the bird over to the matches medical team, who are usually on standby for the players.

What are we doing? The seagull received additional care, Robin. What are we doing? I was later learned that the bird had wing damage, couldn't fly, but was taken to a local animal hospital for further treatment. Birds out for 46 weeks? Garni Katan obviously thought, I've done good karma here.

I'll go on to win the match. Unfortunately, they lost. This is what happens. Which means they're not getting promoted to go up a league. Oh my God. He goes, we missed out on the championship, but helping save a life is a good thing. This was more important than promoting. than the championship.

I don't know how to get down there, but I reckon he might be, you may never see him again. He might just go missing. What in Turkey? For prioritising the gull? Took his eye off the prize. Yeah.

He doesn't have any eyes anymore. Oh, Jesus. This is Jess and Rowan. Good morning. We're getting involved with the show. We draw it out tomorrow. A final voucher for Ingenia Holiday Parks. Stay at Ingenia Holiday Parks.

The home of good times. That is the cooker of the week, Jess. You can call, you can DM or comment. You can text. Save our number. 048-88-1-0669. In the depths of this morning, bro, and we were discussing the superior setting on a hose.

Your showers, your jets, you soakers, you missed, your cannons. There was one funny text from there, actually. What was it? Well, someone said, I super soak and love my foam cannon. And then they message saying, this is my foam cannon. I'd like to put a caveat. Unfortunately, our system can't accept pictures. Sorry.

They've tried to show us their foam cannon. I would have loved to have seen it. But you are in with a chance to win Cooker of the Week regardless. Yeah. Thanks for your contribution. Thank you so much. You know what? You should DM us that.

Yeah. That's how we can see pics. Yeah. There's always a workaround. There's a workaround. There's a work around. There's always a work around, guys. Amen.

Tomorrow's Friday, end of the week. We're going to draw that 500. Yes. The diary as well. Bangers. And bangers. We did get a very impassioned plea. Oh, do we?

To include Babs and Shur. shy guy in the banger rotation. Too many bangers, guys. But we just, to that person, Linda, thank you for your passion. Thanks, Linda. I think she chat GPTed a poem. It was a full poem about bring back Babs and Shy guy into the rotation.

What I'm hearing is Linda doesn't like our selections. Sorry, Linda. All right, we're back with bangers, Gary, Alpha Bucks tomorrow. Bye, guys. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas.