Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - I'm young I don't need lubrication

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Rohans got some bad neighbours, we talk reconecting with old friends and play Whats the Threesome!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky Range with Honey Saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you for listening. Oh, it's a Thursday. There's a threesome in the show.

Sweet. Ranting. There's actually a clean sweep. Put your early bets in. Put your early bets in. Who got the clean sweep? And then find out middle of the pod. Nice one.

I get rantey and angry a few times for the show, but one specifically. Well, you sparked. You sparked. an avalanche of rants. People very, very on board with bitching about their neighbours. Totally. And we're going to little extension on Babbs reconnecting with her friend. That's right.

Yeah, we really went from like reconciliation back to fighting. I feel like it should be the other way around. We should have ended on the reconciliation, had a nice taste in the mouth. But the way it's rolled out. It's dirty in the mouth. Just the way. We like it. That's a way.

I mean that. Do you know my word of the day? You know that app? I deleted the widget now because it's just, it's just, it's getting ridiculous. It was conalinguish. I can't, I can't, I wonder why you stopped telling us the word. I can't be starting my day with that shy guy. Connollingus was the word of the day.

They're telling to you, aren't they? It's all sex. And I told my girlfriends and they were like, you must have only clicked the sex tab. I said, no, I clicked the other tabs. I agree with them. Mine says a fourism. What's that? A forism?

Yep. What does it mean? I mean. Oh, a short, wise. saying. Rowan is full of a four-isms? Yeah, I guess so. Is that how I could use it in a sense?

Yeah, I could do. In math work, yeah. See, that's not sex. You had a couple of sexy ones. I had a couple of sexy ones. And now yours have gone back to normal words. Yeah. Which is interesting words.

He comes bad. Let's ask her what her word is. And shy guy just quickly, I know you were wondering. You know, my friend who made me the bet, if I could say catty wampus on air, she'd buy me a present. She delivered me the present. What was it? A pair of silk pajamas worth $100.

Wow. Unbelievable. payment of a bet. What? Yeah. So she bet you can't say Katie Wamp was on air. I did it.

She went, all right, present coming your way. Like a Preet Alexander number? No, she was an online brand. Oh, okay. 100 bucks. Babs, what was your word? What was your word for the day? Um.

Was it conalingis? That was mine. Knobsia. What does that mean? The haunting emptiness of a place once filled with life, but now eerily quiet. Okay. Right.

Come down. Chinable. Okay. Oh. Oh, all right. We'll enjoy the podcast. It's like like like a single joke, but... Yeah, well, that's why I'm like, yeah, thank you so much for go, Larry.

Fantastic. Yeah. We're going to. Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. Do you know Jess? Don't do. What do I care if you piss on me?

Wow. You'll get to know Rowan. Oh, no. Take the Hobbits to six, seven. Shut up. Moron. Because it's going to be good. It's going to be fine.

Going to be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. Sporking fatty. And Rowan. Ah, you like what I did it. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good.

Ah, good morning. Welcome to Thursday. Morning, Jess. Good morning, Rowan. How do you do for a fine Thursday? I do so well. So well. Oh, I tell you what, my whoop says I'm red today.

And what does that mean again, sorry? That means not recovered. Yes. But I feel good. That's what my husband has flagged with the whoops. Sometimes he wakes up feeling all right, but the watch. tells him almost you shouldn't feel good and it changes his mentality. You know what it is.

I don't feel good now. My sleep debt is like just over two hours. So basically if you don't get the eight hours, it adds a little bit onto how much debt you, like sleep you owe yourself. Okay. Which is a real thing, sleep debt. Well, isn't that funny? You say that I once did a panel and one of the women was a sleep expert and she said there's

no such thing as catching up though, particularly for women, particularly for busy moms. We always say, oh, catch up another night. Oh, catch up when the kids move out. She's like, hatching up isn't a thing. We've got to be prioritising. I thought it was, I thought it was there's no banking it. There's no banking it.

But what's the debt then? We can't have debt without a bank. No, but you can't get enough. Like, if you get constantly getting out, it'd be like, oh, I'm not going to sleep much in the next three days. I'll do 12 hours. I'll do 12 hours. You can't go, oh, I'm saving.

It's not like a peasant. No, no, no, no, no. Can't put it in a high-interest savings account. I think that's, but whoop goes, oh, you're, like, starting to, like, need sleep, so it just thinks you're, like, not recovered. That's probably what your anger is. Understood. Well, we've got a big day ahead of us.

I know it's only 6 a.m. It's the start of the show, but at the end of the show, we have to chuff off. We're giving away free donuts today. Oh, that'll pick me up. So you need some energy in the tank. Oh, will the donuts just give you your energy? Yeah, and they also do the add-ons. They also do the add-ons.

So they do, like, you can put the lemon cream or the custard in the, them. Maybe that's like juicing me up. I like that. Donut steroids. Do I just get one of those big pipes and shove it into your belly button? Bum. Yes. Lemon curd. Straight to the gut. Sure, if you want. Yep. Would you prefer belly button? Bottom hole. Bottom hole would be better, thank you.

Got a couple of orifices. We could plug. You know what? Chocolate here, but... Nutella. Nah. I can't do Nutella. Oh, you're nuts. I would love to do Nutella. I just can't. All right. We'll do the double lemon curd. I'm sure they have a biscough one. Yummy.

Okay. Yummy. I went to the account the other day to get a financial wellness check, and I asked for a cup of tea, little Biscoff bickie on the side. I was like, get that away from it? Was it yum? Did I eat the biscuit? You don't eat biscuits?

You don't eat biscuits, sir? No, I love a biscuit. But I said, can I give you some feedback? He thought on his financial service, I said, you should stock melting moments. That would be a real treat for us coming in hearing about how much debt we're in. Do you know how much my tax refund was? I've thought about it.

I said, you know, I was dead. I mean, I'm saying, oh, no, that's an unfair conversation, Rowan. That's open. Proud of you. No, that's, let me have a couple of bevvies before I share that on it. No, my tax refund, I'm happy to share a whole $56. He goes, buy yourself something nice.

I said, thanks so much. Is that after you pay him? Great question, show I. I think they work their bill into your overall. Yeah, they usually do. Yeah, they do. They hide that in all the numbers. Yeah, yeah.

One year. I got $24,000 in tax return. Don't brag of that. Excuse you. Are you sure that was okay? You're not going to get flagged by the bloody tax. No, it's a thing that entertainers get called income averaging. Yes, of course.

And I haven't used it in like six or seven years. 24,000. What did you do with that money? Went to Europe. I was going to Europe. Did you blow it? Bought some decks and I bought some DJ decks and I went to Europe. My brain went to deck cars.

I was like, how many does one need? 34,000 decks. It's a lot of deck. Some DJ decks and you went to Europe. Yeah, I went to Europe. I feel like that's actually money well spent. Well, I still use the decks like at gigs today. Fair enough.

And that's tax deductible. And I learned. Because professional DJ, you need equipment. And basically paid my rent while I wasn't in radio. And the memories from that Europe trip, I'm sure, last you a lifetime. So fun. That's very nice. What should I do with my $56?

You could give 50 of it to Babs. Why would I? Oh, I do. her a meal. I owe all of you a dinner after the way to raise. I get a dinner? I thought that's where we landed. Everyone gets a steak dinner.

And I get a game. Oh, that's right. Shiger gets a game. Babs gets a steak. I don't want to leave you out. You can come for a dinner. Okay. Thanks.

That's all right. My 56 is going to get stretched. That's true. Games are not cheap. Oh, really? They're actually going up. Yeah. It's so expensive.

What do you mean? Cash converters has them for a dollar. Yeah. Not the game to buy me. Well, the new grandf daughter would be like 150 bucks at least. Is that how much a game is? I reckon, normally the new games are about 110, 110, 120 to the ones. Hover around there.

But Grand Theft Auto, the new one. They'll put a mark up on it. It's the most. Is that the one you don't? It's the most. It's the most, like, more hype than the big consoles. Shy guy says every time it comes up, he takes the week off work. I would already ask our boss.

We can turn this into, we'll turn this into a content thing. Can you sync it up with the survey break or no? When it comes out, Shigai's logging week. November 19, it comes out. And November 19. We're on air, I've checked. I reckon we can do something. We'll figure it out.

We can stream him 24-7, even when he's asleep or something. Do you know what? People would actually froth that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should we put him in some sort of cage? Make a separate Twitch account so you get the money. We thought about partnering with a cinema. Oh, yes.

Oh, that'd be so fun. Hey, the cinema near me, you can rent out. Yes, that's what we were thinking. Yeah. Anyway, it's a working pro. We got into November 19th. We'll figure it out. November's a busy time, though.

Christmas, it's a lot of hype around the show. I think we need our EP. Nah. We'll be right. We've got one. He's got another one. He can subby and he's bald and loves the gym. His name's Jace Allen.

Oh, very good. That'd be great. I was going to say. I think you would earn it. Rowan, I was going to say, I know her hair's thinning, but she's not bald. Babs could absolutely step in. The Babs needs to help me. Does your hair?

No, see, I'll come with, no, no, no, I'll do the week as well in. Hang on, hang on. Babs, what would you rather do, EPE the show for a week, or fetch shy guy beverages? and I'm assuming bottles for him to go wee-wee in as well. I'll take break for that. No, Lucia's potty, we can use that. She won't be using it.

She won't be using it. I would rather EP for a week. Yes. E-T-P? Is your hair thinning? What's going on? Why would Jess say that? Oh, it is pretty thin.

Thank you. We've got that connection. I'm allowed to say it. Where is it the worst in? That's just your hair. It looks very whimsical of you, actually. I was, um, I have bought Babbs creams and lotions and potions. None of them appear to be working.

Yeah, I've tried them all. Try to mall. It's what you're stressed. Jess only gets the good ones. I do. Anything I don't want, I give it to Babs. I'm like, try this. Seconds, take it, woman.

Sloppy second. Oh, if only. Someone called Angus. Italian town has dunked its dumbest politician. We'll talk about that next. This is Jess and Rowan. We are starting the show with a trip to the motherland, Ro Ro. We are in Italy, in the city of Trento.

Oh, yeah. We're a great, great annual tradition. I've not heard of it. And I feel like a disconnect to my Italian roots. Why didn't I know this was a thing? This is in the north, though. My family's in the middle, so. Fair enough.

That's what we like me out. In Trentor, they do a thing every year called the Tonka. Tonka. And the Tonka is a mock trial where all the town's politicians are put in front of a judge. People nominate their local. mayor, maybe councillors. Anyone who's played a role in, I guess, the comings and goings of the town in the past 12 months,

they nominate them for the year's dumbest decision. Interesting. The judge then rules, which was the dumbest act of the past 12 months? Who's the judge? Is it? You've got a line on the judge then? Oh, great question. The Tribunale di Penitenza, the Court of Penance is held publicly, but who's the judge? Is it a real judge?

Or is it just a nominee? I think I might be a real freaking judge. It's part of a festival that takes place in June. But what happens when the judge goes, you know what, McClendlow? You had the dumbest decision. Idiot. Like last year, the person who got dunked

was a politician who opposed a concert by a popular Italian singer Vasco Rossi. Oh, I know Vasco Rossi. You know Vasco Rossi. Of course. This guy was like, nah, we don't want him here. So the judge went, you know, That was pretty dumb that you oppose that.

They put them in a cage and dunk them in the river. Really? You get dunked in the freezing waters of the Adir. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that. Adir, yeah? David Getter. Ancient punishment back from the 14th century. I love it.

I love it a lot. Other politicians who have been dunked, someone who delayed the creation of a new hospital in the area. Smart, dunk him. Someone else who was dunked. Now, I thought it was politicians, but a nurse got nominated. She falsified results of a COVID test back in like 2020. For herself or someone else?

Great question. I'm not sure she might have been doing it for others. So she got dunked. Back in the day, it was people using the Lord's name in vain, blasphemers. But now it's just anyone they deem. That was pretty shitty of you. That was stupid. Dunked in the water.

You didn't get that pothole fix in the Trento Main Road. Dunked. dunked. I love that. Imagine if we had that sort of punishment here. You'd be on edge. You'd be acting a bit sharper. Would you dunk us for not waiting for you at the elevator? Oh, that would be an absolute dunking. Why are you pointing at me? Because you don't wait. Rowan, would I dunk you for flashing your bare ass that time? I reckon that might have to love it. This is Jess and Rowan. I have a story here. We've been trying to do it all week. Did you notice I've tried to derail it again? But I appreciate. You're like, nah.

You're still doing it. Using hope you're well in emails is tired. As tired as Nile Horan's hips. Yep. Hi there. I hope you well. It's done, guys. It's the same as saying on a dating app.

Hey, you okay? It's bad. Who's saying you're okay? You're a dating app. You all right? How's everything going? What's up? S sup.

I mean, hope you're well. It's very boring. But I feel like that's just email jargon. And you've got to start it somehow? Workplace management expert Nancy Roberts says it's tired, overused, and it's starting to feel like you haven't really thought it through. And also, I hope you're well. I don't actually think you hope I'm well. I actually don't think you care.

I don't think you care at all. I tried to spice it up being like, hope this finds you amazing. That sounds passive, aggressive. Really? It does. It feels like. Hi, Rowan. Hope this Wednesday finds you terrific.

I always tried to just level up a little. That's a bit of fun. Terrific doesn't get used enough. That's true. What does Nancy want us to stay instead? Nancy said, Nancy, Nancy says it doesn't make me want to read the rest of the email. Okay, Nancy. Is Nancy just deleting my email because I've hit her with a hope you well?

Yeah, apparently. Oh gosh. Makes an assumption. It just, like, pre, it like just basically says you don't really care. If you came back and said, actually, I've got like chronic pain. My dog died. No, no, I didn't ask how you are. It wasn't an open statement, Nancy.

It was just hope you well. Now, here's my actual thing. We've nailed it. That's what she's saying. She's saying, ask, how are you? No, she's saying, if you say, I hope you well, kind of opens it up to you going, oh, my dog died. I'm really sad.

So you should just go. I've never had anyone reply going, I'm not actually, Jess. Also, happy. She says here saying happy Monday or hope the week is off to a good start is also really bad and generic. Oh, gosh. Like you just said. Nancy sounds like a real fun at a party. She really does.

Her emails better be tip-top. What she suggests, better knock me out of my socks, Rowan. I have it right here. Let's just make it your name. Hi, Jess. I'm sure you're very busy, but I'd love to run something by you. That is her ideal open to an email. I'm sure you're very busy, but I'd love to run something by you.

That feels worse and more passive-aggressive. I agree because it also, she's saying we're making assumptions. That's assuming I am busy. And also, it plays you. as the underdog, annoying person. If you're assuming I'm busy, or actually you're saying putting on the record, I'm sure you are, but you're still bugging me, Nancy. That's almost saying, oh, look, whatever's on your plate, my thing needs to take precedent.

She says you're implying they're an expert in their field too, and you'd like to learn from them or get advice, which most people will find flattering. Can I just say, I disagree with Nancy. I agree with Nancy as well. You agree with her? No, no, disagree. I disagree. I'd like to make a formal apology to the whole show and everyone listening that we have jammed this shit in the show and it's awful.

I can't believe this has been rolling around. Well, you read it four days ago. Why don't you call it then? I thought it might have been funny on air. This has not been funny. It's not been funny. By the way, wasn't shy guy bad's felt? This is on me.

This is on you. Four days, it's been simmering. I was so, I should have kept derailing. Guys, my radar. I wouldn't have had no, no, no, no, no, no, de railing. Nile Horan's hips. I reckon we would have had. more fun.

Oh my God, bring that up next. If we'd stayed on it. This is Jess and Rowan. Oh, I need to get, I don't know if it's a temperature check or where you just stand because I firmly believe in a certain behaviour. Mm-hmm. I might be the only one though. Okay, interesting.

You and your partner, you and Lucy are walking down the street, all right? Yeah. She waves at someone. Yeah. Maybe over your head or she's happened to turn around. She spot someone. She waved. Do you rub a neck and start looking at who she's waving?

Or do you just keep going? I would rub a neck because I would be surprised Lucy, who she knew because I probably knew them too. Okay. You know when you're in a situation, maybe you spot a friend of yours and they're in a group of six, you're walking past. You make eyes at your friend. You give them a wave. They wave back.

And then everyone at the table starts looking, but they don't wave. Nay, crack a smile. I got a real issue with people looking around at who their friend is waving at. If you are just going to look and not change your face or also give a wave, whether you know them or not, don't then look. I feel like I'm always on the receiving end of one wave and six eyeballs. And I go, don't look then. Doesn't mean they don't like you.

No, it's they don't know me. Then don't look. The chances are that you don't know the person. So don't look. Angus waves. Angus knows everyone. I don't look around. I do not rubber neck.

We walk down the street. He's waving left, right and center. I am eyes forward. Because you know what? If I knew the person, Angus would go, hey, it's jugger or whatever. Just eyes forward, everyone. I don't like the looking around.

I don't know how to respond. It's okay. I don't like it. It happens so often. It's okay, Jess. It's all right. I think... Don't okay me.

You're about to rant. Support me. This is got a conversation. Try to have one. I just don't know how to say that people wave and go, oh, who's that? I don't know of them. And they finish. Yeah, see, I don't like that.

Like a smile, maybe. I can agree with a smile. That's my issue. The other day it happened on walking down the street, my mate was at a table of six or seven friends. He's waved at me, so they were. started looking, who's Reese waving at? And they all just stare. No, smile.

No, table of boys. No, no. It's mixed men and women at the table. The boys are normally boring, so I would give them that. Yeah, no, that's my issue. It was a whole bunch of just dead faces looking. Who's who's who waving at? Oh, a girl I don't want, no.

And they look away. But then is it on Reese? It's such a yucky. To then be like, oh, that's blah, blah. Yes. He should be like, oh, that was Jess. Is it, though? Because they, he probably knows these people don't know her.

smile, if you're going to look around, smile, put some positive energy out. Could definitely smile. Don't you think smile? If I'm friends with the person you're friends with and I've waived, clearly I must be half decent. So what about a nice little smile? Maybe we could be friends too. If we then bump into each other in the wild, it becomes, oh, you mates with Reese.

Oh, we know each other. As opposed to just gorking. Maybe if they turned around. That's the word gorking. They're gorking. They're gorking. Well, Gorky's a bit of a... That's what it is, though, because it's an assessment of who's at.

I don't know them. Well, I'm not going to even smile, let alone wave. Say if they're at the end of their conversation anyway and they waived, it probably might get a bit more out of them. But say you're already mid-conversation and John over there waves, and you're already talking over there. You might go, da-da-da-da-da. Get distracted look.

And then keep talking. That doesn't mean they don't like you or they want to smile or wave. It means they're doing something else at their table of friends where they're having their conversation. Yeah, but see, I think it's the power. I love this interpretation, because it's, It's a bit softer than me going, everyone's walking. I think that's the deal.

Can you just crack a smile? That's my issue, though. If you're in the middle of a convo, don't look around then. Let your partner wave at the person, they know. I just, I have a hard time like holding, like eye contact in here sometimes. That TV needs to go off. I'm going to throw them a pen through it. Of course I'm going to look when someone wait.

No, I don't know them and then keep talking. See, no, I put the blinders on. I'm like, then that's not for me. Yeah. It's not my mission. Barrel forward. I don't like a table gawking out. That's impressive on your focus because I'd be up and about anyway.

Don't put me next to the road outside our fresco dining. We'll look at everyone. That was the situation with Reese and his mate. It was Elfresco dining on walk and past. Yeah, you shit out of luck on a fresco dining, mate. Okay, there you go. But I'm glad you're so passionate about that because now... Yeah, I just don't like the gork.

Yeah, don't gawk. Because everyone's got resting bitch face, Rowan, that's the problem. That's what I'm saying the guys, especially guys who don't have like an original thought in their head anyway. Yeah, can't even crack a grin. of that. Jared text us. He goes, I don't rub a neck or I don't do anything. I just ask with my eyes forward, or who you're waving at? I like that. Maybe I just put it back. And what you said, Shiger,

you put it back on the person. You think it's a lack of effort. That's what it is. You see, it sounds like you don't like the effort. What's the world coming to Rowan? Can't even crack a smile at your friend's friend. You think it's effort. Some people just are curious at who it is and then move on. And then move on. Okay, well, just crack a smile, people. Smile at Jess always. Please. But just don't look her in the eyes. This is Jess and Rowan.

Don't forget, Cooker of the Day. Awesome prize. You can call 13, 10.60. Just give us your 10 cents. Or you can leave a text on the text line, just. I've never heard it 10 cents. Oh, it was 2 cents. Well, I like it.

We want more than 2. Yeah. We want more than 2. If you come with 2, we're going to have follow-up questions. You better have an 8 cents sitting in your pocket to deliver up. Yeah. If it's just a quick little, it's like, oh, I just wanted to say I like the show. Well, what do you like mostly about it?

Yeah, absolutely. And some constructive criticism, we're still in our infancy. We're not a two-cent show. We're not a two-cent show. 10-cent minimum. We're a 10-set show. What? You want five times the standard?

Yeah. And then there's a surcharge. You know, if you don't spend above the F-POS minimum, they then go, well, there's a 1.5% search. So we're actually 11.5. Really? Absolutely. We're like 11.1.1.5 cent. And aren't we worth it?

Yes. Yes. You wanted the text line number 04-8-18-1069 for your 10 cents. There is an etiquette-cote. 4 million followers are going viral. Let's just have a listen to what he said. You may have seen this guy online before. William Hanson's his name.

I love him, hate him at the same time. Have a listen. Add your milk of choice. And then, with a spoon held in your dominant hand, and the fork in your non-dominant hand, you will eat. Now, it's not soup, so you don't need to scoop away from you like you would with soup, but you can use the fork to push some corned flakes

onto your spoon and eat accordingly. So William Hansen is saying to eat your corn flakes, a.k. You must use a fork? So a fork and a spoon is involved. Well, has anyone ever used two utensils with cereal? Certainly not. It is a one utensil meal. Milk of choice. However, Rowan, I must say,

as someone who is not a huge fan of milk, I either will do a raw cereal, I e dry or the bearer splash. I don't hate the idea of a fork to drain. Okay. I don't want a spoonful of milk with my Sultana brand. I get it, but it's done.

If I could fork it up and it drains, I don't actually hate that. So you agree with William? Because you almost want slight sog. You want a little bit of milk. Have you ever had a dry cornflake? It's a little rough. Dry wheat bags?

Oh, that's actually a twilight. Orchre thing. It is. Dry nutra grain, though, that's a delicious snack. That's something you put in the bowl for sure. But a brand, you need a little milk, but I like the idea. It's strange. It's almost like using a colander.

A colander in the cereal has never been said before. Yeah, but, well, if you're going to use a fork. Wow. You got to use a fork. You know what I bought the other day to scoop out my nioki or ravioli? I bought, I don't even know what the device is called. Picture a ladle, flatten it out, but make it a net. So you just scoop and drain.

So I get like, well, you can catch a fish with. Well, it's a metal thing. It's not a net per se, but it's got structure. It's almost chain mail. So it kind of looks like a thing you put over the pan when the steak is spitting fat or something. Oh, I've never done that before. I don't cook the steak. But it's essentially that.

It's a draining implement. So I think that's what William's getting out with the fork, right? You've never done really done milk with cereal? No, I'm just not a milk fan. No. Never? No, I've always been a dry girl. Okay.

I'm young. I don't need lubrication. No, that's not what it's about. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yeah, I'm playing for $10,000 right now is Jason. What up, Jace? There you go, mate.

Do it, mate. Jason, what are we spending $10,000 on? Petrol. Yep. That's it. A boat. Yep. Yep.

And if I've got any. change, carton a beer. Hell yeah, baby. You started with petrol there. I don't think you got enough for a boat, let alone a six-pack. No beer. It cost me 90 bucks to fill the lawnmower up the other day. The lawnmower!

Yeah, okay. What that? Hell. Let's get Jason 10 grand and then he can decide how he divvies that up. Great idea. Jason, the letter you're going to work with today is G. G4. Get it, Jason.

Friday. All right, are you ready to rock? I'm rocking. Ready to rock. Your time. Love it. Let's go. Your time will start after the first question.

Starting with the letter G, we need you to name. A dog breed. German Shepherd. Anit's biscuit. Pass. A band? Goo Goo gold. Good good dolls.

Something round. Pass. A verb. Oh, wow. Pass. A school subject. Geoffrey. A beauty brand?

Oh, no, I don't know. No, pass. An occupation? A carpart? Geobox. A US state? Georgia. Georgia on the buzzer.

I think that's pretty good. That sounded good to me. You got an Aboriginal six, sir. Oh, no, you got me with the beauty ones. Yeah. And the verb, don't lie. The beauty and the biscuits. What's a verb?

A verb is a doing word, Dahl. You could have said going. You said to get a golfing. You said a grating. Anything with an I-N-G for next time. Honest Biscuit. You've got to say ginger nut or the gaiety I've just learned of that this morning.

I can't wait for you to try gaiety. They are divine. Beauty brand, yeah, Garnier. Glossier. Glossier. Glossier. Yeah, you know, so do you. Oh, yeah, Jason.

Oh, sorry, Jay. Everything in hindsight. You didn't know, Jason. You would have got it right. That's all right. Good luck for the beer, brother. Thank you, man. That's all good.

Thanks so much. Have you one, man. Appreciate it. What a delight. Back again at 8 o'clock. $10,000. What do you want to go for a big club? And milky.

Milgrab is from Newcastle. Australian. Next, we're doing an extension of Babbs blogging it back in here to go over. Some stuff. This is Jess and Rowan. It's Babs. And this is my blog. Commence Operation Superstar Brat.

Wimcical. She's the queen of whimsy. Oh my God, she's the whimsy queen. And she's kicked the door in today going, gosh. We haven't got budget to fix that door. No, no. But we do have a cooker of the day.

And she goes, I want to give more opportunities for people to get involved in the show. That's exactly what I said. I know. Because you're the one who gives the prizes away. I am, yeah. The gatekeeper. Well, I want to know, have you ever reconnected with a friend over a long period of time? After a long period of time.

The numbers. 13, 1060. Call through now. Yeah, was that good? So, reconnected. Yep. All text. 04-8-18-1069.

Nice. Thank you. So reconnect. with a friend because you are reconnecting with a friend on Sunday. Yes. So one of my old best friends from high school. So I haven't been in high school since 2019. So it's been like seven, eight years. That wasn't that long.

Yeah, no. For me, that's a long time. I understand, I understand. But I graduated at all age. So it just feels really, sorry. Recent. Very recent. It's not recent.

This was like seven, eight years ago that I last spoke to this person. And I just happened to see her the other day when I was getting coffee with another friend. And it was really nice. nice to see her. And I kind of realized that the beef that we had was just so silly and immature. Can't even remember, really. Can't even, yeah, remember even what it was about. So I thought I would reach out to her.

Just send her a text to see if she'd possibly want to get coffee with me. I didn't realize that she lived in the same town as me now. And it kind of just felt silly just to, you know. It's the most mature thing I've ever heard in my life. Thank you so much. So I did reach out and we're getting coffee this weekend now. Will you pay? Who's going to pay?

It's not a date It's not a date It's a friend date She's not trying to get no pants Oh well I mean I'm not If you want

She might What do you do? They're mine Sorry I guess you raise It's interesting Because you know When they do talk about

First dates What are the best Maybe meals You know Don't go to a movie Because you can't talk So you're just doing a coffee Not a meal

Not a meal That's too long of a time To commit to maybe Well I just don't know How it's going to go I'm like I don't know how long It's going to go for

If yeah So I just thought coffee Would be the easiest Did you pick place? Did she pick the place? Well, we actually picked the place that I saw her the other day. And I was like, oh, why do we just go there? He's smart. Smart. Yeah. So. Have you thought about what you're going to wear? Like, are we digging that deep into it? Well, I'm like, we might walk maybe because this place is right next to like the water.

Sounds like a day. So I'm like, well, I might wear active wear, I guess. I don't know. I'm really overthinking it. No, but there's not a romance element, but there is a connection element to it. So you don't want to do the wrong thing. And how do you, like, where do you start about talking about what you've been up to for the last like eight years? Last time we spoke, it was 2019. What did your 2020 look like? I guess you cover COVID. I guess you cover extra study maybe.

Will you cover the problem, the original problem? I was thinking of maybe just biting that in the board at the start and just being like, nice to see you. Sorry that happened. What about it? What about? And you think about and go, that's not what happened. And you argue. Well, I thought about that too.

And I just think it's just silly. Just going to move on from that, you know. Bigger person. Good for you. Proud of you. We're turning out. You leave and you chapped up. And then if, you know, what if she?

decides that maybe she's cranky and you're not cranky, then you know, you've done the right thing. Well, yeah, at the end of the day, it's, there's no pressure. You know, it's just a coffee and whatever happens, happens, I guess. But it would be nice to reconnect and make more friends, you know? Always nice. Yeah. Ron, we've gone on the record.

We're massive grudge holders. I can't imagine reaching out to someone. Can you want to let bygones be bygones? No, I just, they can just, they can stick it. Absolutely. I didn't speak to a girlfriend for a year, a whole 12 months, and she let me a handwritten note in the law. letterbox one time going, I don't even remember what we thought.

I said, oh, let me refresh your head. Don't do that with Jess. By the way, knock on the door and look me in my eyes, you coward. That was made it worse. She was like a half an hour drive from my house and I found a letter in the letter box. On 13, 1060, Nick has something to say about this. Hello, Nick. Hello, how you doing?

Good. Good morning. Have you reconnected with a friend? Yes, I did. I actually knew this guy when I was 15 and we were at school together. Yeah. And then I moved and I was in Sydney and about 10 years later he walked into the same pub that I was having drinks at with friends in Balmain. And he used to be a great footy player.

So I said come play footy for my team if you've just moved here up from Victoria. And he did. We played footy for two years and then he moved on. And that was when I was 25 and then now I'm 56 and he saw my email address on an old old boy. thing for a reunion. And yeah, he reached out 30 years later and now we're in contact and we're trying to catch that. So sorry, Nick, there wasn't a falling out per se like Babbs and her friend.

It was just time, distance got in the way and now he's come back into your life. Yes, yeah, exactly. We actually were good friends when we were young and then we were good friends through footy. It was just, you know, jobs and distance. that happens. The old email. Well, that's bloody lovely.

13-1060 or 04-88-18-1069. It's the text line. Yes. Did you reconnect with a friend? Was it a falling out? Love some juicy goss. Absolutely. Were you the mature one like that?

And also, what did you say when you first saw them? Oh, topics of conversation. Yeah. What do you talk about? Do your calls and text next. This is Jess and Rowan. Did you reconnect with a friend after our gorgeous, lovely, Wimical Babs is reconnecting with a friend on

Sunday. The most mature act I've ever heard of from a young person. You wouldn't be doing it. Amen. Eight years she's not spoken to a girlfriend. They bump into each other after a falling out. Yeah. That babs and myths.

I don't really remember the details of. Sends her a cheeky text. You want to grab a coffee? You wouldn't forget. I wouldn't forget. I would tell you what. I would hold it over them forever. What's the longest grudge you're holding?

Years. Len. Probably like four at the moment. Yeah. I've got a sixer. I've got a six-year-a. Probably four at the moment that I've, oh, I do hate some people from high school with passion. Because of things that happen in high school.

It's like 20 years. So if you've bumped into them like Babs at a coffee shop, would any part of you go? Mostly teachers. I would go. I would probably not to talk to them. If they went, hi, how are you around? I'd be like, hey, Mr. Robinson, why are you? Like, what are you?

You can't put me into attention now, Mr. Robinson? Don't, what are you even looking at me for, dude? Go that way. No. Oh, see, I. Oh, God. God, I hated Mr Robinson. We'll get into that a little bit later because we have been in on dated.

So rude. A lot of people like Babs reconnecting with old foes or just people they lost touch with. But let's go to Jess. She's been patiently waiting on the phone. Hi, Jess. Hi, good morning. How are you? Good, thanks, babe.

What happened with your childhood bestie? So, unfortunately, my mum passed away and for some reason we disconnected. Like, Babs can't really remember. reason why but um i literally just bumped into her into the street got chatting and then we decided to kind of reconnect and now she's godmother to my daughter and we see her every weekend and yeah wow i mean i i appreciate you can't remember what actually happened but the fact you've connected it with your mother's passing it feels like a big deal do you know what i mean like was she not there for you was there a comment made but you've been able to move past all that which is so beautiful

probably yeah yeah i think maybe at the time i probably didn't feel as supported as what i wanted and then um i guess time passes and once you have children i guess your um feelings kind of change and yeah priorities change yeah and i mean me me and this friend we we were joined at the hip you know we'd go out drinking together and um do everything together type of thing so well there you go i'm so So glad now godmother of the, well, Babs, let's mark this day down. Oh my God. Will this woman become your maid of honour one day? The whimsical godmother.

Yes, what a story. Hey, Stacey, how are you? Good, how are you? Good. Stace, what happened with your mate? So my best friend that I went to high school with, I ended up being ridesmaid, made of honour at her wedding. And she was a godmother to my child.

We had a fooling out a few years later, celebrating my birthday and we didn't she stormed into my house like we couldn't find her at all when we went out and it's not girl code to leave you mate but no one could find her yeah oh she hiding out of the bed or something

no this is when we were out in town other best friends was actually having issues with her insulin level she was a diabetic so we needed to get home no matter how many time who tried to her. But she thinks you've abandoned her. Well, three o'clock and things like that. How could you stay,

see? Insulin's a big deal. Oh, priorities in there. Sorry for interrupting you, Stacy, go on. And then so we can really discuss it. And now your kid has their godmother back. Yeah. Can't be without a godmother.

You know what I'm saying? That kid's probably going, what happened to Godmother Bev? Well, we don't speak of Godmother Bev anymore. Yeah, I've been whimsical. This is Jess and Rowan. One, two, three, we read. And Rowans, what's the three-sum?

Everybody else? Yes, we have to translate shy guy and ease. That's right. He's going to give us three things. We're going to tell him what those three things have in common, but it's a precise answer. Yep. No shooting from the hip. Nope.

First one. February, April and June. Months? You need more. Oh, months with 30 days? No. Months with 31 days? No.

Months with 30 days? You're close. You're very close. Oh. That again? You're missing a key word. On a leap year? No.

Yeah. No, well, leap would be 28 for spam. Shut up. A key word around 30 days. Yeah. You need to insert a word before. With a perfect 30? No.

With a round 30. No. With a fluctuating 30. No. I'm just going to tap you out. I'm done. With less than 30 days. Oh, April.

Oh, okay. Sorry, how many days does April have? 30 days. September. April, June and November. In February has 28. So they all have less. Less than 30 days, which is the answer.

You can't say less than 30. If it is 30, though. That's a stupid question. It's not stupid. I can't do defense here, but that is dumb. Rowan, if April has 30 days, you don't say it's less than 30. No, one's ever said that before. Was 30 or less?

That's not what you said. Okay, fine. Mute question, none of you's got it. Okay, geez. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Can you do that noise again? I went, n-nan-n-you-law. Anyway, see how you go here.

King Kong. Lord of the Rings. Animated characters. No. Animated, animated movies. James Cameron movie? No. Jack Black is in nothing.

Sorry, you're feeling. CGI is involved. Are they directed by the same person? No, they can't be. James Cameron. Do you want a hint? King Kong, Avatar and Lord of the Rings.

Box office, big box office selling films. Sorry, no, you're right, but know what I'm looking for. Oh, debuted at number one, the box off. No. Avatar, King Kong. Lord of the Rings doesn't have an animal. per se, does it? All shot in New Zealand.

Yes, they are. Yes, nice. That's what I was looking for. Point on the board. All right. An air raider, a trap and a nipple. Jess. Excuse me?

Parts of a... Body? Air conditioner? No. Airator. Airator. Car. Parts of a robovac.

Are they parts of a something? They are. Yes. Is that what you want? want, though. Air, air raider. Trapp and a nipple. A bottle?

A baby, no, air raider. Part of a grease trap? A friar. You're flirting with it. Am I at a McDonald's? In a kitchen. Kitchen things. You get closed.

Air radar. Kitchen utensils. Grease trap. Grease trap. Helpful kitchen items. That thing in the roof. The vent is part of a vent. Things to help with fat in kitchens.

They're all part of a kitchen sink. Yeah, right. Makes his air to the water. The trap blocks the sewerage gas, that's the air pipe sort of thing. And the nipple is a type of pipe fitting. Down! Nice.

Good one, that was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah, the less than 30 is really wicked me out. Oh, no. My laptop's died. Make it up. Hang on. Jet, okay, stop everything right now.

No, I'll just open it on my phone. I just need to open up the One Drive app. I only had 2%. He had 19. I needed the charger. He never asked for it back. I wasn't going to say anything. Oh, you looked at me like you're about to.

I had to defend myself early. It's going to be fit of the mind. No, well, now everyone knows. Jess made sure she got the charger. Now everyone knows budgets. We have one charger between shy guy and Jess. Well, to be fair, I flooded the other PowerPoint. And to be fair, I've got it on my phone.

Hang on, hang on, hang on, here we go. Okay, next question. Okay, nothing happened. Masking, electrical. Tate. They're all types of tape. They're all types of tape. Rollin is on to tag.

Dan. I think we need this. Otherwise, it's over them. That's right. Rowan gets this. Game over. Yeah. Andrew Tom

Toby Spar Spider-Man Yes Yes That's a clean sweep Well done I don't think that'll happen again All right good one

Chelsea has just text I think he meant less than 31 days For that first question It doesn't matter Chelsea move on This is Jess and Rowan Alfa Bucks Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit

Yes Jason had six An honorable six, but that gets you nothing. No, nothing. Gets you nothing. You need $10,000. You've got to get the 10 questions right to you.

Jeff, you're going to get the 10 brother? What are we going to do? I'll give it a crack. You got to only try. You know what you try and do get through babes because 500 people call. You've already succeeded. So let's have a little bit more positivity, Jeff. That's true.

You're the man. Yes. You've got it. You've got this. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Yeah, the backyard at home needs a good birthday, a little bit of landscaping, but I was going to joke and say tank of fuel, but hey. Oh, that's what Jason said at 7 a.m.

So did you say the backyard needs a birthday? I love that. That's a good one. Oh, yeah, like, it's got a lot of potential. It's a big backyard. It's just a lot of, yeah. Love that. I love birthday. Love it.

You gave your house a birthday. My whole house is getting a birthday. If we ever get back in, I'll show you. Jeff, love that. a motivation. Your letter that you're working with today is H, H for house renovation. Okay. All right. You ready to rock? Yeah, sure. Let's go. Okay. Your time. We'll start after the first question. Starting with letter H, we need you to name. A pantry item. Pass. A fabric. A chocolate brand.

Hershey. A flour. A biskis. An instrument. P harmonica. A dip. POMOX. An ice cream flavour. A pokey, pokey. A book. Harry Potter.

A periodic element. Hydrogen. A five-letter word. Heart? A pantry item. Oh, jeffle you come back to it. That was awesome. Five-letter word harp?

Heart. A heart. Like the heart in your chest. Yeah, heart is straight. And are we doing, are we given Harry Potter? Oh, look, do we have time to say the philosopher's stone? I'd pay it, Rowan. You'd pay it.

I'd pay, well, sorry, I'm not even the adjudicator. Shy guy, where do you stand? Do you want the whole title for Harry Potter? Or you happy to pay Harry Potter? I think we can. Harry Potter is a series, though. Oh, geez. It's still a book.

So your reference to you like Harry Potter the Harry Potter book? You don't say. You don't always say it. We said a movie and it was Harry Potter, will we take that? This would be a tough one if you got the 10. Oh, God, you got eight. Are we sending the precedent that we will take Harry Potter? I reckon we go.

Would you just take Hunger Games? Well, no, it's the Hunger Games. We should take the Hunger Games? Yes, of course. I would take the Hunger Games. Who knows that they're called Mocking Jay? Well, then we should accept. Well, then we should.

When they're accepting this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Presidents set. One, two, three, four. Precedent set. You can just say Harry Potter. Eight is really good, man. Eight is admirable, Jeff.

It's not enough to get your redemption round. If you had got nine, we would have played again straight away. Yeah, pantry item, hot sauce, honey and fabric. Honey. Honey, babe. Do you like honey? Oh, too much of it, yeah. Oh, your big gorgeous bear you?

Can we just acknowledge, Jeff, straight away with a hokey-pokey ice cream flavor? That's fantastic. That's why I thought you were coming back. Me too. All right, sorry, Jeff. Oh, one of the best players we've had in a while, Jeff. Have a great day, sir. Oh, man, I thought we were at least...

Oh, that was so exciting. Oh, that would have been great. I thought we were at least into redemption round. Same. He'll come back with a pantry item and we're on. Right? That's right. We go again tomorrow.

We go again tomorrow. After we do sobbar. The rant. I'm going to do it. I'm keen. I'm ready. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan.

I think we, are we doing Rowan rants all the time now, just because I'm mostly angry. I think anything that comes out of your mouth usually can be full under the banner of Rowan Rans. So you, at your discretion. I've already been a couple of things this morning that would be a bit ranty. What are we doing that for? But this is one a day you play the opener because I must say,

this like heavy metal gets me on edge man That's the point bro You know so I think I hate my neighbours And the neighbours are nice I really like the one If like I'm looking out to the street On my right

His name is Graham Lovely man I'm assuming Graham's an older gentleman With a name like Graham Yeah Graham's good Graham's got I really like his dog I think it's like a whippety kind of thing And has a little random white cat

That comes and sits in my backyard Which makes me feel like It's my cat It's very nice Do you ever feed the cat? Are you trying to lure the cat away from Graham? Yes, I try to feed the cat. But Graham's not the problem.

I feel like everyone to my left is my sworn enemy. Oh my God, we've just had reconnection of foe with Babs. Rowan is now nut. I'm fighting. It started one night when I got home after a gig when I was still DJing. And I had my car on the street. Granted, narrow street where I live. So it's like, it's a two-way street, but really it's like you can't,

you fit one car on it and one car can go past. Slowly. And you watch the side mirrors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It started when this lady decided to bring her higher truck down the street at 1130. You know those one-tonners with a big box on the back? Oh, my God, like she's moving out. Yeah, yeah, exactly, right?

Yeah, it's a big truck. Exactly. Brought that down the street and the corner of the front of it, big bulky metal thing went right up the side of me, Toyota Yaris. Oh, no. As you hit it? Yeah, yeah. I heard it on the street. and I went, what the hell?

I go outside, couldn't see any lights, and it had parked up the road. Oh, so she's just driven past. She's just driven past. She's like, oh, it's just embarrassed. It made so much noise. Hit it.

And I was like, either they're living in there or they've done a runner. I call the cops because I was like, someone is here and I don't know how to do it. Anyway, I got in touch with her husband because he was like,

oh, the household, the landlord, said that, because he knew the landlord or something. Hang on, but they didn't leave a note. No one came back to the scene of the crime. The only reason I got in touch with her is because I messaged her husband going, hey, there's a truck outside your house, and it completely wiped out my car, and I've called the police. And then his wife comes out and goes, she's like, hi, my husband sent me a concerning message

that you, there's something happening with your car. You've sicked the cops on me. I said, yeah, is this your van? And she went, yeah, I've got it for work. So. Also, they're not even moving. She's just driving a truck around. And then she, yeah.

hit my car and I said, yeah, you wiped out my car and she went, oh, sorry. And I thought, what? Like she didn't notice? Didn't give shit. And I was, she thought, oh, I thought it was the gutter. And I'm like, well, that's the fender on the ground. And the man, and like,

You've taken my bumper off, sweetheart. And she was like, well, it's insured, it's fine. And I'm like, get me your license and all your shit right now. Isn't it funny? Because in this scenario, and I hate you, and I hate you. And if you guys are all friends, we're all enemies. You're allowed to have an accident, but just the way we then handle an apology.

That is the most important part. Absolutely. Oh my God. She couldn't have given two shit. There is nothing more upsetting when something is affecting you and someone is so dismissive. All right, so that's why we wipe out that neighbor. And are you saying they're all wiped out by association. I think they're all friends.

Have you seen them having block parties and Rowland wasn't invited? There was Christmas, no, there was Christmas drinks and I got an invite. And I said, I'm going on that. Not if truck ladies hosting. No, thanks. and then the guy next to me Seems like a nice guy On the last guy

Graham guy He seems like a nice guy But never leaves his house Always wearing air pods Gets everything delivered What's going on What are you hiding Maybe he's a shut-in

Maybe he's got the agoraphobia Maybe he comes I see him outside Oh oh he does go outside But he does like What's something's going on Oh Nosey

I've never Because when I grew up in Tasmania We had eight acres So I never really had neighbours Now Yeah Very suspicious Even though you had eight acres

You knew everyone in Tasmania Whereas now, did you not do the thing when you moved in? No, no, no, no. I don't think that's a thing anymore. And why not? The world would be a better place, don't you think, shy guy? I do. I once left a note for the neighbours who moved in saying, hello, my husband and I are debating what you'd prefer as a welcome to the neighbourhood.

Would you rather a six-pack or me bake you a cake? Please tick your response and leave it back at our house. What did they say? They said six-pack. Angus goes, it wasn't a question. It was three young boys. Oh, yeah, of course. I was willing to bake them a cake.

But yes, we don't have the art of neighbours. We'd love some bad neighbour stories, I'm thinking. The thing about that theme song, Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours. No one has them. But you getting sideswiped by a neighbour and a truck at 11.30pm, that's got to take the cake. Oh my God, I had this awful high car, but never mind. Made me so angry.

I love my Toyota, even more now. But anything where you've got to now call an insurer to deal with admin stuff, sis? It's so annoying. So 131060, your 04-8-8-1069. Have you had a run in? Yes. With your neighbours. Are you feuding?

Are you feuding already? What do they do that really... Currently. Has someone tried to lure your cat away? Oh. Are you the Rowan? He came inside once. Love that.

131060. Take calls next. This is Jess and Rowan. Ask him on 131060. Get involved with the show, by the way. We're still doing cook of the day. Today and tomorrow for a wicked prize. Just from contributing to the show.

Giving us your 11 and a half cents. Yeah, we're not a two-cent show. No, we're not. Rowan, feuding with a neighbour down the road. Yeah, I just, I don't know. Yeah, it's definitely mostly my problem with them, but we don't look at each other on the street anymore.

No, fair enough. After she side-swiped, is that what it is? That's what it's called, sideswiped your vehicle. Lucy was so upset. With a truck. She cried. About the car or about not having relations with the neighbours. Her poor little car.

Her poor little car. A lot of texts coming through Rowan, but let's go to Mets. Mel on 131060. Hi Mel. Hey, Mel. Hey, Mel. How are we? Fantastic.

Well, I don't know how good we are, to be honest. There's some bad neighbours out there. Do you have one? Well, it's actually my dad, who's no longer with us. He had horrific neighbours. But to get them back, he befriended their cats, and their cat basically lived at our front door. So when he had a rat problem, and we lived on the National Park,

and our cat wasn't a mouser, he stole their cat. Put it in the roof cavity. It caught all the mice, but then it loved it so much up there. It refused to leave for three days. Okay. So he really lured it. Well, it lured. You said stole the cat.

I love that. I think if your neighbours were to call, they might say our neighbor was a bad neighbor. He stole our cat and put it to work in his attic. Amazing. It actually knocked on the door and ask if we've seen the cat and were quite aggressive. So my dad had to stand on a ladder and put food in the... the man pole and basically catch the cat to get it back out. To give her back to the neighbours.

Sneaky little cat. Wow. Kate has called through. Good morning, Kate. Oh, good morning, guys. How are you? Yeah, good, babe. This is pretty intense.

You've had to make a real big move because of the neighbours. Our neighbours were so awful that we had to move, yes. Our bedrooms are all at the back of our house and their back deck sits right behind our bedrooms. And they must have slept all day long because all night long they would sit out there either drinking or on the phone to each other. I tried everything. I was so nice at the beginning.

I was like, hey guys, can you just push a little? We're trying to sleep here to like waking up at 3 a.m. swearing at them. Like, I couldn't. They just, at first I thought they were oblivious. And then, yep, I had to go to revenge. So in the daytime, I was pumping music.

I would beat my horn to wake them up when I drove past with the kids in the morning. Oh, my God. Oh, it's fighting fire with fire. Yeah, literally. But it is sad, isn't it? Like we're living in a community, a society, people. Yeah. Jackson, good morning.

Hey, guys. How are you? Good, Jacko. Have you dealt with some bad neighbours? Wait, before I thought, this is funny because I'm parked right out in front of my neighbours now. About to go to work while I told this story. Okay. Okay.

Is that to egg the house or something? No, so we moved into our house two years ago, me and my partner, and we're quite green sums. Anyway, we've got a nest cam, and their dog kept going to the toilet out there. the front of our lawn day in, day out, doing a mad turd on our lawn. And I kept telling my partner, I said, mate, I'm going to say something. I'm going to say something. And he was like, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't. One day, I cracked it and I walked over there because I was about to do a turn on his lawn.

I was like, yeah, yeah, he got to. We don't have a dog to return, serve. So we've got to do it. Jacko's just a squat on the front. Yep, sorry, Jacko. So I knocked on the door, he comes out, I go, hey, mate, you're going to have to come start picking up your dog's turd because I've had enough. Oh, that won't be happening anymore.

Toby got put down at the start of this week. Oh, sure. Okay. You went, thank God and slam the door. No problem. Solved. Oh, well, I'm glad you got clean lawn out of it. I'm sorry, that guy lost his job.

How dare that guy make Jackson feel like he's the bad guy? Hey, Kelly. How are you? I thought he was going to say the dog died of suspicious circumstance. I was like, Jackson, where were you? No, Kelly. what's going on with you and your neighbours? Look, you know, like 13 years, this has been going on.

So I have not spoken to my female neighbour to her, like there's a husband and wife. For 13 years. I don't acknowledge her. I don't. What started it, Kelly? What happened? So my son of 19 had a party and her 13-year-old child wasn't invited because it's a 19-year-old party that lives next door. And they came home quite much.

bit and we're like, why can't they come in? You know, we've been neighbours for 20 years, da-da-do and I said, because it's a 19-year-old party, big punch-up started. The security guard that was there through the husband through the fence. Who punched her? Hang on, hang on.

Sorry. You punched the neighbours? Who's punching the neighbours? Well, she tried to punch me, but a lovely 19-year-old girl stopped that and the security guard stepped in and got the husband and put him up against his fence and broke his fence door. Let's go.

Tell me, because their 13-year-old kid wasn't invited to the party. Are you serious? They're in the wrong. Oh, my gosh. And she has never... He did. He came over the next morning. Very, very sorry.

Very, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe. Sheep, no, never. Oh, too proud. Strike her name. How funny, though. So you'll see him in the driveway and go, hey, how you're going?

She comes out? Crickets, nothing. And I will walk away. Like, I speak. speak to the son and the new daughter and all. They've got kids and hurt. No, I won't even. Some people just suck, Kelly.

Some people just suck. She does. But can you imagine the conversation happening at their house? The wife gone, stop talking to Kelly, and he's like, I apologize. We've got, like, what's going on in that house? What do you think? My husband, my husband speak, and like all the kids speak, like, everybody speaks to them.

I have, even the street, the street, no. Christmas parties, I don't invite them. Because I run the street Christmas Christmas. Oh, Kelly's in charge. Kelly's queen dog of this, of this street. What do you reckon this lady's saying about you, Kelly, though? That's what I want to know. Look, she wouldn't be saying something nice.

She's not, you know, she's probably exactly like me. Probably more similar than you are. We're probably two bees in a pod. But, you know, I hold a grudge. Ask anybody. 13 years is admirable. You should just go over there and apologize now, Kelly. Never.

This is true. Jess and Rowan. On 048-8-106-9. That's our text line asking bad neighbour stories. My God, we are being inundated. I'm sorry we can't get to them all. Someone has just said, hey, Jess and Rowan, in terms of bad neighbours, when I lived with my parents, we moved to Akeridge,

our neighbour claimed he owned the telephone pole and he didn't want us to use it. So his solution was to get a chainsaw and cut it down. My dad was able to call the police just before the lines went down. What an idiot. Leah said we rent in an area full of rich home owners.

Once a week they gather at the house across from ours, sitting on camping chairs, drinking, judging us for not mowing the lawns on the same day. Is that real? As everyone else, and we've never been invited

to the mother's meetings. Who was that? That's Leah. I need proof, Leah. Sharing. If they do that, I'm sure you've taken a photo, we need proof. This one is horrific.

Send it to the DMs. And I'm sorry, but thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. You want to talk about bad neighbours? We had a neighbour shoot our dog. And then take it over and bury it on his property. I didn't think I get this day. That's, and then we'll end with this one. Danny, self-confessing, I might be the bad neighbour.

My eight-year-old daughter loves animals. And one day she brought in two black little kittens and said, Mom, got us some cats. We had them roaming around the house. house, loving them, listening to cat yoga, found out she'd stolen the cats from one of the neighbours. My cats. This is Jess and Rowan.

Rowan, I've been with my husband for eight years and I've become really dependent on him. Sure. When it comes in particular to travel, he sorts out all the admin associated. He is the quintessential airport dad, holds the passports, all the documentation. He takes care of business. leading up to and during the trip. Good one. So when I don't travel with him, I'll be honest, I get a little nervous

because Mommy has to stand on her own two feet, take care of herself and her own crap. Yeah, yeah. Lucky for a trip I've got coming up this weekend, I have found another Angus. I have found my most type A friend, and I want to run you through a couple of things that she has done in the lead up to our getaway this weekend. We're going on to Melbourne to see Mel Robbins. Yeah, lovely. Let me hear it.

She's just amazing. So I thought I'd taken care of meals, because that's my purview. I looked after dinner, lunch, lunch, looked up, you know, restaurants, made bookings. Yeah. She has gone so far as to have a look at pre-event drink where we could do that. Yep. She's given me a top four rooftop bar situation and ranked them on aesthetic and distance to venue. Smart.

So the cutest one. The cutest one is actually the furthest away. So now we're weighing up. No, we're not doing that one. It's proximity to venue. Proximity, much more important. Much of than aesthetic. But we are aesthetic girls and we're all for the gram.

So it's a conversation that's been happening. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. She is also, something I don't do because Angus usually does it, I forget to check weather. I just pack what I think I'm going to want to wear completely forgetting Melbourne. Cold. It's cold. Even though I live there for a long time.

It's cold she has broken down not only the weather each day we're on, but times of day, what event will be doing, for instance, the pre-event drink, what the weather will be for that, and then said, well, we'll need the outfit to match accordingly. Opening times, have you got the opening times there? She's got the opening times, don't you worry. She's also done an agenda because she is a kind of lady. Gender's a bit much. I love it.

I love it because she's the kind of lady who's already flagged. We're staying at a nice hotel. You are. There are hotel amenities she would like to enjoy. So we want to schedule between the lunch, dinner, lunch dinner, pre-event drinks, the event itself, when are we enjoying the hotel amenities? I throw in, I'd love to go find a cinnamon scroll. She went, well, we'll have to schedule some time for that to make it back in time.

But I'm so relaxed because she's taking, she'll need the holiday. She wants to go check out the giant mecca. So when are we going to do that in between the lunch? MCG? Not the sporting mecca, an actual mecca to buy lip gloss and eyebrow wax. I just have never felt. She's actually out Angest, Angus. She's so type, I just feel so, I'm going to give her my wallet to hold.

She might have to pack. She sent me a text. She goes, started packing. She packed a portable speaker. You've got to have a portable speaker, man. Never in my life have I packed a portable speaker for. What do you have a portable speaker for? Well, we're roaming around the giant mecca and then we can go to the room.

It's in the hotel. You know, yeah, doesn't think. It's definitely a big thing. Well, I'll say I am completely out of my depth here. I have a carabina on mine through the little loop so I can clip it to stuff. No, no. So I can clip it onto things while I'm in the shower or if I'm outdoing stuff. Yeah.

Wow. Are you doing this agenda for weather and outfit? It's amazing. I feel so confident. Speaker, very important, though. Because what if you're in the room trying to do some vibes and there's no speaker? Plat for the tea? I exuded.

The vibes. And they don't have like FoxTale anymore. There's no music channels to enjoy in the room. So you've got to bring a speaker. Well, there you go. I'm just between, so Angus booked our flight, so I had nothing to do with that. And now Carly has done the whole agenda. So what are you going to do for Carly?

Yeah. What are you going to bring? I'm going to bring the vibes. No, no, no. No, no. This is Jess and Rowan. Jasson Rowans. Cooker of the day.

As you know, normally cooker of the week. But this week, we're doing. on it every day. So therefore it is cooker of the day. Day, yes. Newcastle Food Month, Australia's most expansive food festival kicks off April 1. In fact, it kicks off with our way to race.

And we love everyone. This is not an April Fool's joke. April 1, we'd love everyone to come down and support us. Sure. We're looking for a whole crew of people to write our names and graffiti on their bellies. Men, super jacked, and tiny speedos. I would love that. That would really get me over the line, quit.

The encouraging will be unbelievable. For the running? Yep, for the running. It's a race, babe. Yeah, well, you said over the line. I just don't want to come last. We're the only non-restraught team. We're the media team.

Someone will drop. Someone will drop it. That means they come last. True. And I actually don't know what the restart rules are. If you go back to the beginning, do you just get a new tray. I can you just ruin it. I think that if you...

It's over. It's over. All right. Every one, come and support us. We still need to sort the details. We do. How do we still not know what's run on this race? I don't know.

I please look up the T's and T's ease. But yes, that is Newcastle Food Month. That's the first event. So in honour of that, we've got $1,200 worth of prizes to give away around it. Every day, too. Dear Cookers. Who is getting the prize today? Well, earlier in the show, we touched on Babs' reconciliation with an old foe from high school.

They're going for coffee this weekend. We asked, have you reunited with someone from your past? Lockheed text us 048-18-106.9. We'd love this. Yeah. Reunited with my primary school best friend just a year ago. We actually got into a scuffle at the pub, not realizing we knew each other. I then heard his missus scream his full name across the pub.

She's obviously called out in concern. Yeah. Jonathan Walker. What are you doing in a fight? Nice. And Locky's gone, I know Jonathan Walker. What's up, bro? Babe, we were primary school besties.

And then they proceeded to have a great night at another venue, because ostensibly they got kicked out of that venue. with whence they were fighting. They went home with each other. Stop with the guy. Not everything's hit a rival. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Locky can either take his own partner,

not that I know if he has one, or he could take this mate. He's got a night stay at the Crystal Brook, money to spend on a plate date, and then, of course, the shopping spree at Charlestown Square. Speaking of which... Oh, we're going there right now.

Right now, our friends at G-free donuts are letting us sling donuts for like an hour. Yeah, I try to have less than seven. If you would like a donut, on us. Yeah. We've got an asterix on the pump-ins.

I think you can have a pump-in, but I'm not... Is that what they're called? This is at odds. Pumpins is a great. I like pump-in. Now, what's it called? Put the plug-in? The juice that you can pump in.

It's not juice. Custod. It's like lemon curds. It's cream. Yeah, curd, custard, carol. The curd. There's a question mark on whether you can curd it up or not. I don't know about the curdie.

There's no question around. We will be there from 10 a. Give it them out. We're making shorts today. I love that for you. Shorts and my runners. Oh, so you're going to be running around. No, no, I'm going to be behind there.

I want to make them, I want to see how they make them so that I know how to make the perfect one so I can tell them how to make them for me when I want them next one. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being the Tasmanian you are.

Boxer cousins. Isn't that one of the boxes? Like seven is the cousins. Oh, I got you. Got you. Are you a fan or not? Of what? The donuts?

I'm there. Hey, see you. We'll be there from 10 a. We'll be there. Charlestown Square. G-free Donuts. If not, I will see you. We will see you tomorrow.

Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Maca's Bistro, Bernice, Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.