Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Jess Fat Tony

Episode Date: February 27, 2026

Jess has been invited onto a superyacht, we talk contact nicknames and the producers wrap up the week that was in the diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everyone. Thank you for clicking on the fun, cute little dive, a little square there. It says, hey, let's listen to some podcasts and then go to the top one. Thank you.

I hope you listen to more. I hope you subscribe. So we just appear in your feed. Hope you hit the follow and also the rate. If you'll have been loving the show, hit the rate five stars. It really helps. Yeah, it's so funny, you just clarified five, because every podcast, I listen to that does stipulate.

Please rate us. They always go five stars. It's almost like, don't rate us and give us a three. Don't do four. We've asked you, but please just do five. We did have one four, but then the complimentary, sorry, the accompanying message was so complimentary. We thought, why not a five?

Yep. It was an odd that one. Happens. Anyway, it was a wonderful show. Our boss just walked in and said, rip a show, guys. Came in, he was like, how's a show, good show? Popin off. He was clicking his hands.

Pop and off. So one thing. we didn't get to, which I think popped off, was what are they saved in your phone as? Oh, you get some texts, right. Exactly. Babs are revealed that her mom is saved as sexy Simone, beg the question, do you have someone saved as something a little interesting? We didn't get to a bunch of texts, Rowan.

I wanted to get to them now. Right. Sarah is a twin. Okay? So her twin sister is saved as womb hog, because she was the fatter twin and took all the nutrients. That's why she didn't eat her. Stacey has said, I'm the creator. Right.

In my kid's phone. And they in my phone are creation one and creation two. Just like you have Fachi only, what are you, Fachi, my father is Fachi 1. My mother's Farchi 2. I am Farchi 3. My brother is Farchi 4. Like a military. If you ever see me and my dad in a photo together, he'll flip up a 1 and I'll

flip up a 3. That's our fang. My mum and brother do not think it's cool. Jamie has said She might have actually joined us on air My mummy saved as birth giver We had that, yeah, BG? My sister, and she asterix this,

It's probably not appropriate for radio. I've saved her as slut Jaina. Nice. Possibly slut Jina, but I think it's Slut Jina. I would say Slut Jina. You'd say Jina? What if the sister's name's Jena? Maybe it's Slut Jina.

Let's go with the first one. I love the name, Gina. Gina. Samantha wanted a shout-out because it's her and her partner's 12 year anniversary. Oh, well, dad. I hope you'll accept a podcast shout out. Oh, my dad's contact says Shelby.

My dad is saved as Father Dog Nuts. Father Dog Nuts. Sounds like a priest. What is he religious? The accompanying picture which she has DM does is a picture of her dad holding a puppy with humongous gonads. Oh, big dog balls. Big dog balls.

Sick. My dad has his best friend in a skater boy. Yeah, oh, yeah. My good mate was saved under tomato jelly. No reason. Sure. My partner has his mom saved as momster. Okay, that's...

Like mom star. Yeah, mumster. All right, good one. And someone just texts. I say my parents as mama and papa bear. That's cute. Does that mean they have one phone or individually? I think she means my mama saved his mama bear.

My father who saved as Papa bear. Mom. I like this. Someone said my partner's name is Stuart. So I'll call him Stu. Thank you. That feels normal. That feels like a...

Oh, I mean. I miss read it. Sorry, Sam. So I've saved him as wombat, Stu. I miss the wombat. I miss the one bat. I miss the one bat. No, but I just love that someone text us that. I was going to say,

we didn't ask what cookey thing they're saved. Yeah, but surely someone hasn't stopped taking time out of their day just to say they'd call their Stuart friend, Stu. Rowan, you would not have thought it was a bit me. Rowan, you wouldn't believe some of the contributions we've had. And it leaves me scratching my head,

but it also leaves me so pleased that someone does want to call and say that. But they didn't. They said wombat. They did. That was my bad. I really made Sam sound silly there. But no, wombat's stew. Well, it was a fun show today, guys. Really hope you enjoy it. Likewise. And we're back live Monday. Enjoy this little fun titty.

Tidbit. Oh, I heard titty. Well, what do you think of my dress by the way? Because I've been seeing it on the cameras. Overt? No. You're sitting there too and you can probably see some out of the side. I'm filming content today so pardon of me for dressing up. Yeah.

When are you not filming content? Why are you looking at my chest full? Bro, she's right there, dude, every day. I don't feel safe in this room, Roet. I wouldn't. Don't say that on me. Oh, no, that's awful. I do.

I couldn't feel safer. Well, Shagga hits you with his eyes. I'm also so free and easy. Oh, look at her. She's flinging them around. I don't act like you hate it, Shogar. All right, have a lot. Wake up with Jess and Rowan.

Something new for breakfast. You know, Jess. I'm all about wee-woo methods to help yourself. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, tawny, happy. Yay! It's going to be fun. It's going to be alright.

Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan. Yes, welcome to Friday, everybody. Good morning, Jess. Good morning.

Sorry, I just got distracted because shy guy got His internet blocked because he's searching orgasms. Denied. He got an NSFW warning from our internal, I don't know, spy checkers. I know it was that bad. What were you trying to look up, you perv. Hallie Berry orgasm was the search because she was in a podcast. The context is what we'll talk about in about 20 minutes time.

Yes, yes. Great hook. Thank you. Well, from orgasms to, I don't know how I can make this segue work. Go on. Relationships, Rowan, yesterday, you and your girlfriend celebrated. Yep, she's still faking it. Four years.

I didn't know that. I thought it was today because I knew you'd booked a dinner tonight. Yeah, I just wanted to go out a bit later. So this, I guess, is a day late. It's a small gift. Happy anniversary. I love to celebrate everything and everyone. You sign them just like I won dips.

That's right. And you mentioned that they're your favourite sweets at the moment. Did you kiss them? I did, and I imbibed them with all my positive relationship energy coming up to a five-year marriage anniversary. So from me to you, friend, little hearts. Thank you. Funday hearts.

Funday are my favourite. I know. Sunday are my favourite. But I actually didn't know where you stood on sour. Really poorly. Oh no. I was at the checkout and I saw the fun day non-sour, but they were just orbs. And then I saw the fund-day sour hearts.

And I went, well, it's an anniversary gift. I get it. Oh, drat. Makes sense. I'll eat them. Don't worry about that. And will you share the whole? with Lucy. Yeah, share my love and heart with her. Well, wonderful.

Celebrating tonight? Yep, at a lovely little dinner. I reckon she'll fake an orgasm later. Maybe. Most likely. Finish and then just do thumbs up. Happy anniversary. Good job. Oh, good bag. Sweet art. Should we open the fun day sweets? I'm going to sleep. If you know, hey, worse comes to worse, you open the bag of lollies. There you go. Little sweet treat for her, regardless. She might have got a bag of chips. Just put that in there. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.

How do you feel about mixing food into your lovemaking? Oh, not good. Not good. Why would you? Just get on with it. I'd knock it to you try it. What food? You'd be talking about a pasta or something.

Yeah, I take it too far, but I have, you know, the spaghetti. Baby steps. What's a baby step? Chocolate. Oh. Melted chocolate, strawberry. You place a strawberry over certain parts. See, I don't like a whipped cream, but.

Yeah, that sounds a bit too aggressive for me in the bedroom. Crazy. Good morning, Babs. Good morning. What food have you included in your lovemaking? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jesus. The man himself?

Really? Am I right? Got to bring the Lord into the boudoir. Let us pray. He with a capital H, am I right, you good Catholic boy? You right, you right. I sent a parcel down to my brother recently, and when I went to the post office, I just thought,

I'll write his full name, full government name, including confirmation name. He was, you know, when you got confirmed in year six, did you do this? You had to pick a saint. I didn't go to Catholic school. You didn't do that. So you did Sunday school but not went to Catholic school. Yeah, it was very. That's interesting.

My mother was trying. But we had to pick a saint with which you wanted to sort of embody, you know, whose ideology you would then carry on for the rest of your life. My brother picked Saint Blaise. So I wrote that out. And the woman, the woman at the post office knew, she goes, this is a good Catholic boy. I went, Jesus. Good pick, Sam. St.

St. Blaze, got no idea what he stood for. But I just know my brother picked, Blaise. Just a dope name. Hell yeah. Blaze is a great name. Blaze is a great name. We have the diary this week as well, this Friday as well. Today.

It's wrapping up the show. Yeah, today. Today. It's been a hell of a week. Now I'm all thinking about it's fake orgasm and spaghetti. It's what happens, God. Hey man, if you haven't tried it, I would suggest you elevate, experiment. No dinner tonight then.

We cook it. Save room. Don't have dessert because you haven't second course back home. Looking forward to dessert. We're picking a banger today for everyone as well. Make sure you put Jess and Rowan in your phone as a contact. So if you're driving around, you can say text Jess and Rowan. That's right.

04-8-18-1069. You get involved in that regard. Could win cooker at the week, which we draw at 9 a.m. Next, though, a man has taken control of a massive robotic army. I think we should all be worried. Yeah, a little bit worried. But he didn't even know. I will talk about that next.

This is Jess and Rowan. You hear this story about the guy who accidentally contained, got off control of 7,000 robots. This one did not cross my desk. The robot vacuums. Smart little man. Sammy wanted to get his DJI robot, which is like, you know, one of the little robot vacuums that cleaned the house. wanted to get his game controller, right? And he wanted to use that like a remote control.

Was he hacking him? That is not a functionality of a robot back? He was using AI coding to help reverse engineer. So he's a computer scientist. All right. He's, I don't know. He's bored. He's a show off.

He didn't know it all. An AI coding assistant to help engineer, reverse engineer the how the robot communicated with the DGI's remote cloud servers, right? Isn't the best part of their. these robot vaks that you don't need to control them? You turn them on, you leave the house, you come home, your house is sparkling. Again, correct. He was just bored.

He was bored. All right. So he wants to gamify it. What he did, though, he went into the remote cloud to get access to its, the way it moves. The mainframe. The mainframe. He got into the mainframe. I've seen the matrix.

Yes. He hacked the mainframe. But he realized in order to get the right credentials for the remote control game, let's say, PlayStation Control. Yeah, dumb it down for me, babe. Play-Stase controller. To go onto that little... The VAC.

It's the same as everyone that owes one. So 7,000 people had one. It's the same. So he ended up putting his control across all 7,000. They're not unique codes. You know what the bad thing is? It's also... Because it uses, like, cameras and stuff to get around and see how it goes,

he could get... He could look into people's houses. He could listen to audio. Apparently they have microphones. Why do they have... They have microphones. Because you can talk to them. Oh, there you go.

You can talk to them. Stop, I guess. Oh, like a Siri situation. Go clean the kitchen. Yeah, that's why they. Yeah, go to kitchen. Exactly. So this guy had maps.

He said he could find out the two-day, 2D prints of their houses. The homes, because they map the home. Because they map it. Floor plan, man. Oh my God. This is an accidental criminal. Just from a PlayStation control.

So did he then take this to the internet or did he go to the road? robot vacuum brand and say, hey guys, I found a glitch in the Matrix. He went, uh-oh, this is bad. This in the wrong hands is supervillain stuff. It would have been awful. I mean, even if there, let's just say, down the road, there was a vacuum. He could have gone, oh, I know how to get into there.

Yes. And when you say 7,000, was that like in his vicinity or 7,000 that had been sold nationally? 24 countries. Across 24 countries. International. So across the globe, he starts manipulating his own, going left. right, go backwards. So all around, did robots turn on and start going left, right, backwards?

Well, it doesn't actually say, I don't think I have that, because he says he got into it and then realized he had control over all of them. That's when he stopped and then got in touch with DGI and went, hey, I've just done this as a bit of a ha-ha. And now I've realized that someone else could do this and get access to everyone. Absolutely. Data. Have they plugged data?

The data. Have they plugged? Dada. Have they plugged? the leak now? And did all the other brands have a look at their matrix systems? Well, that's the problem with the AI stuff. AI robots are coming. And we don't know the problems before they kind of come to light.

They're not thinking about these things. You kind of got to figure it out on the fly. You do, which is terrifying. You know, knives get better, I guess, every year. What did you say knives? Like a knife, you know. Things evolve. Do they get better? I feel like knives haven't seen now. Because they're some of the lighter and they have a better.

The Japanese have been doing good knives since the daughter. This is Jess and Rowan. Hallie Berry. Oh my God. One of the great. One of the great. Oscar winning Hallie Berry. What'd she win the Oscar for?

Do you remember? Great question. Shy guy, please fact check me. What did she win the Oscar for? But that was decades ago. Like, she has been around. Best actress 2002. The movie was.

Best actress. 2002. Not X-Man. Well, I mean, she should have. Storm in X-Men. That's one of her great roles. Best actress 2002. Thank you.

Introducing Dorothy. Introducing Dorothy. I've never heard of that movie. I've never heard of that movie. What do you mean? Maybe. Why is it so hard to find the answer to this question? It's just a long thing.

Well, now we can't move on until we get an answer. It's Best Actress. Did you type in what movie did Hallie Berry win Best Actress for? It doesn't say. What about your little mate, AI Overview? Why, I avoided that because you don't like it. Monsters ball. Thank you, Rowan.

Monsters ball. I've never heard that either. No, Monsters Ball, fantastic. And she rewore that dress recently. Oh, yes. Kept herself in very good, Nick. Looks great. But she's back in the headlines this week, Rowan,

because she is promoting a new movie with our very own Chris Hemsworth. It's called Crime 101. And I just love the modern day press junkets that celebrities have to do. No longer do they just do the Today Show or the morning shows over in America. They're now doing podcast. They just be able to go to one room, sit in one chair. They're now doing the Hot Wings Challenge with that bald bloke. Ah, Sean.

And Sean, that's it. And Hallie Berry is now sitting down with a podcaster, sex with Emily. Sweet. I assume they got the Crime 101 press done at the top. And then they basically talked about Hallie Berry's sex life. Cool. And her opinions on sex. You know the link?

Well, that's what Shiger just got blocked from. Trying to find the full. That's not a lie. That's not a lie. That's not a lie. No, I thought we could share it on the Instagram. Oh, we could. Yeah, but then we might get blocked on there.

Move that on. But she's sitting down with this woman, Emily, talking all things sex. She is with a man currently called Van Hunt. He's a singer-songwriter. I believe they're engaged. Yeah. But Emily's asking, you know, how do you feel in the bedroom? What do you do's and you don't?

Now that you're a little bit older, bit in a few relationships, where do you draw the line when it comes to pleasure. Oh, yeah, pleasure stuff. And this is what Hallie had to say. You know, we had to get there so that he felt good about bringing us to orgasm. So we had to say that we did it so that he would feel good about himself. Because what is what is that doing? That's putting his needs before our own.

Yeah. And now I don't do that anymore. I'm like, no, I come first like you come first to you. Yeah. We both deserve to have this be a mutually enjoyable experience. So we both can roll over and go to sleep because we feel good. Not one snoring and one looking at this feeling like that. Exactly.

What the hell? What the hell? She's not faking him anymore, Rowan? No. She's an Oscar winning actress. I bet you if Hallie Berry wanted to fake it, you would never know. You'd never know. You know what I'm saying?

Imagine if all her partners have been like, was that, you have won an Oscar? Was that, was that legit? I believe anything you're putting down, Hallie Berry. Hey, sometimes it's fine. Like, obviously not fine if you're faking it, but making me feel like you've got the job, done? She goes on to say, sometimes you just want the pounding to stop. So, yeah, I get it. You'll fake it.

Just end it. But now. Pounding to stop is crazy. At 54? No, how old is she now? She said she started dating hunt when she was 54. How long have they been together? Current age.

59. 59. They've been together for a while. She goes, at 59, I'm done with faking it. Fair enough. And I'm going to be more vocal about it. I want him to know. I'm just as important in this equation as you are, sir.

She said she comes first, then he comes first. So who's coming first? Well, let's be real. Because in heterosexual relationships, if the dude's done, I see. Hard pressed to get one to keep going. I'm not right. I tell you, he's going to sleep. It's hard.

I'm going to, am I right? They roll over and as she says, I'll snoring. So she goes, all right. Mama comes first. And then. And there are so many comments, obviously, on the sex with Emily, Instagram. People being like, preach, Hallie. Thank you for bringing this to the limelight.

We are not talking about this enough. No, awareness. Awareness. Give her another Oscar, I say. Another one for what? Faking it. Just speaking the truth. This is Jess and Ro.

Rowland. Yesterday I received one of the greatest text messages of my life. Oh, really? From a very good friend of mine. Okay, cool. Which has led to a pivot in my weekend plans. Something shocking. Oh, cool.

Now, you actually asked me before the show, what are you doing this weekend? What are you doing? And I left something out because I wanted to tell you on air. Smart. This might be the most unrelatable thing I'm ever going to share. And that's big for me, shy guy. We'll find out about that. Yeah, okay.

We'll see about that. We'll see. As it currently stands, what's the most unrelatable thing I've ever shared? Oh, what? A $200 feet toilet roll holder? Sue me. Free B MW.

You've bought higher things and we've done the higher or lower games. I don't bring that up. You bring that up. Oh, the wedding. That's one of them. Well, well, where does this? Wedding. That's pretty unrelatable.

It's probably second. I know what it is. A Vogue wedding. A Vogue wedding. Where does this sit, Rowan? Lowa. A girl. You know,

Definitely. Lana. Good friend of mine, Lana. Oh, yeah. Hey, man. She texts me late, late Wednesday. All right. My queen.

And I thought, this is weird. Lana doesn't call me queen. Lana's like a bro. What does she want? What do you want? Yeah, I went, this is weird. And to me, it immediately reeked off, oh, she's copied and pasted this to a bunch of ladies.

Hey, queen. Yeah. But then I realized it's an invitation. She couldn't have just given this to everyone. My queen, super, super random. But a friend of a friend runs a super, luxury travel agency. Sick.

She's hosting an International Women's Day event this Sunday, March 1. On Sydney Harbour, with a bunch of CEOs and Forbes under 40, 40 under 40 females. Oh, you did tell me this. Oh, is that the boat? On a super yacht. She hasn't said that part yet. Do you want to be my plus one? I already knew.

What, you want me to go with you? No. You. It's international women's day. You're not invited. So in the last 24 hours, Rowan, there's been an absolute scramble. Right. Because what do I know about Forbes 40 under 40?

It doesn't matter. You're on a super yacht. How do I mingle with a bunch of female entrepreneurs, startup, legends, incredible masters of their game? You're like inquisitive? Just ask some questions. I am very inquisitive. We get the.

invite, the official invite, we get the official dress code. All white. Now, but this is where I want to just celebrate women supporting women. Babs, you'll appreciate this. All white, but on a boat. What the hell does that mean? You want to be kind of practical on a boat, yeah? We're at the seven seas.

So this woman. It's the harbour. Could be rocky. Could be rocky. Could be choppy. These are the things that women. Slightly jealous, okay. These are the things women consider shy guy, wind, choppiness.

this woman who invited has sent now a mood board of things that maybe you'd like to wear aboard this boat amongst this crowd. So I was able to go to a higher place and show them this mood board and go, can I have something like this? She also sent a supplementary message. It is a boat, so you'll need to take your shoes off

if you need a pedicure beforehand. Yeah, smart. I currently have purple toenails. I don't know if that's going to fly with Forbes 40 under 40. That's okay. And I went, go women, my toes. I've shown you every other body part this week. I want to show you my toe.

Why? Oh, it's a funny purple. It's a funny purple. I thought it'd be a dark purple good cool. Babs picked it. It's a kooky purple. We got our pets done last week and she picked my kooky purple. Yeah.

So it's not my fault. She didn't know this invitation was coming. But I just love the women supporting women. It's good. The random last minute invitation. But now. I have to go to the friends we did have plans with on Sunday. We were meant to watch the footy.

The nights take on someone for Vegas. So I'm switching. This is what I wanted you to the grabs for. I'm switching this. No, no. Switching. I'm switching this. No.

I'm switching this for this. Nice. That's fun. That's so fun. Fixy nails, though. That's bad. I know. I'll get on to that.

This is James. Yes and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, and playing this morning is the great Ben. Hello, Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you going? Good, mate.

Ben, we couldn't be better for a Friday, Dahl. Oh, how good is it? Good, man. What are you up to? What's on the agenda? I'm just heading down to work, actually. So I'm just pulling over and chatting to you guys. Nice one.

Yeah, soft of a good start. So if you win 10. $10,000 in the next 30 seconds, are you continuing on to your work day or are we pivoting and celebrating? Unfortunately, I have to do today. I can't exactly fail, but look, it'll be a, it might be an extra long weekend. Amen, brother. What do you want to spend 10 grand on? Well, I've got a little barley trip booked at the end of the year.

It's my sister's 40, so she'll probably get a better present. Yep. Just the usual bills and whatever we deal with. A couple extra tangs to the boys. This is fantastic. Now, sorry, Rowan, could you repeat that sentence? A couple of extra? Tangs.

Yeah, your letter's T. Oh, nice. Okay, okay. All right, that's solid, man. Your time will start. Thank you for the layup there. You're welcome. Your time.

We'll start after the first question. Ben, you're ready? I'm ready. Starting with the letter T, we need you to name. An insect. Pass. An ice cream flavor. Tango?

Sorry, pass. A beauty brand. Oh, God. Pass. A school subject? Um, a pantry item. Um,

um, temp tube, Jesus. What? Okay, all right, mate. So,

um. What the hell was that? That was... Well, I don't know, mate, you were playing. What did you say for pantry item? Test tube.

Test tube. Test tube? No, you can't. You can't be. You can't be a test tube, mate. So that's zero. Are you accept? You're not accepting.

Ben, hey, good thing is, Ben, first zero of the year. That's fantastic. Where are you? That's due for a prize. Moody barn. Yeah, you have to take your pants off and go run down the street. I'm glad you pulled over. Out you pop.

Unfortunately, I can't accept tango from ice cream. You're dancing with it, Ben. What's going on? Yeah. You're great. I also really enjoy tango. Oh, wait, nah. Nah.

You eat in time, baby. I love it. Love it, dude. Insects could have tick termite. Could have tiramisu or toffee for an ice cream fraser. Yeah, beauty brand, trisemet, two-faced, school subject. Technology, tourism. Pantry item.

Never really heard of any of you then. Yeah, well, I don't know. I think you have. You've heard of technology. Hey, thank you for playing, brother. Oh, thank you, Ben. You're delightful. Sorry, you couldn't have got someone better on there.

No, you were fantastic. Well, we'll send you back to Babs and you can have a word to her being like, pick someone better next time. Read him his rights, Babbs. I feel bad for your sister. She's not going to get a good 40. Blame Babs. Blame Babs. Yeah, okay.

Bads is fault. Oh, happy birthday to your sister. No tangs on us. She'll go, what the hell? Zero. Oh, God love him. And you know, you don't get a supplementary prize now, so I don't actually know why I send him back to Babs

because she can't, she's going to be like, all right, have a nice day. Reading the rights. She needs three. Oh, hang up already. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, that sucks. Hey, we were talking about Punch the Monkey. New update.

The little sad monkey, his mother rejected. That's right. I thought he got accepted now. Well, update next. This is Jess and Rowan. Now, we all remember the sad little monkey punch from overseas whose mother rejected him. Yeah, the vision is brutal, blew up on Tiki-toki. Punter's filming Punch just trying to get a hug from Mom and her literally pushing him away, dragging him, dragging him, looking very angry at Punch.

and him having to turn to a stuffed toy for company. An orangutan soft toy from IKEA. Someone had piffed that in. I'm assuming one of the keepers went, oh God, he's a friend punch. And in the video of cuddling up to the soft toy because mum said, get away from me. Yeah. And then it begged the question, what's he done to piss off, mum? Well, maybe mum's being mean.

But we also then looked into the macake monkeys. And that is a thing. The mothers can reject. Hey, man, the rabbit mums eat the young. So it's not that bad to be rejected. I'd rather be rejected than eaten. Well, now IKEA has sold out of that said toy. We knew it would be a great marketing thing for IKEA.

And it is now on eBay for 10 times the price. What do you mean? IKEA's gone. We're not charging enough for those wardrobe. No, no, no, no, no. Punch up the price. People kind of shy guy ask would do this. Bought them.

Oh. Like quite smart. Got in on the ground level. Yep. Just to resell. It's like Taylor Swift tickets. Yep. Went to replace them.

There was no more. People go to, I'm going to get Punch a little new Toff Toy because it looks like they once had enough. No, they're all gone. They're all on eBay. People try to cash in on Punch's misfortune. Black male, the punters, who genuinely want, uh, what, do we call the orangutan something? Because Punch was the monkey, right? Punch is the monkey.

Did the orangutan get a name, the soft toy? Yeah, but I, I can't say this. I don't know how, like, I can say it. Oh, is it in a different language? Zong, I don't know. What was Punch? What zoo was that in? He's in Japan.

Oh, is it Japan, was it? It's a Kaw. Well, to be fair, Rowan, people are buying, will have bought the IKEA and they're trying to resell. What about the actual stuff toy? Because then I read a headline

that he got accepted by mum. There was vision of them cuddling. It's like she kind of felt the pressure of the world watching her and went, all right, all right, I'll give him a hug. So is that toy orangutan now not needed in the zoo? I reckon that's a conspiracy thing. theory. I reckon that's Japanese propaganda. I think that the monkey is still

projected. Do you reckon it's AI? I fall for it all the time. Do you reckon they AI heard hugging to get the pressure on? Totally. Because you know what it did? It was lending itself to. Peter breaking in and kidnapping punch to get him out of there. They probably were thinking, we're going to get vigilantes trying to exonerate punch. And the Japanese wouldn't want tourism to go down? We're going to have to send shy guy or babs over. I'll go. To investigate. At the zoo.

Reaching to Japan, I'll go. I'm there. You got a pay, bro. I'm not going. Too busy. Can we get a sponsor to send you over to Japan to investigate if Punch actually has been accepted? Because that video made us all very sad. The idea that he was now accepted made me happy.

I don't think he's accepted. I think it's an conspiracy. I reckon Punch is still just in the corner. The president of IKEA's chief sustainability officer, that that guy, visited and donated a bunch more. Hang on. visited the zoo. Yeah, just to give punch a few more of the toys.

What, popped over from Sweden. That feels like a waste of funds. Wow. Don't you love. He's the-Bats IKEA. Imagine much funds they have. Yeah, but he's the CEO of sustainability. So he's popped on a jet to go to Japan.

That's not a short flight. President and Chief Sustainability Officer of IKEA. Chief Sustainability. Stand-by. Ikea Japan. So he just drove down the road. Oh, he didn't go. He's not the Swedish guy.

Fair enough. The Japanese guy. But that's why now the- Hooker Volvo. No. Is that a Swedish car? Yeah. Why wouldn't you drive a Japanese car?

I feel like getting the Swedish car. You can build it there because it comes in boxes and you just got to crank them out. So he's taken 25 of the last orangutan's two punch. He doesn't need more. Well, he didn't say 25. I said a couple. That would be getting rid of them. They're worth big money now.

They are. Get them back. Sell them. Long lines are formed. I want to see punch. Do you know that's not how the Swedes pronounce IKEA? How do they pronounce it? They say IKEA.

Yeah, I saw a Swedish footballer. Oh, you say that hello. I always said on that. What sign? What sign? Sorry. What sign you're reading? At Akeos.

Is it like hello? At Akeyes. Chead! Yeah. What you're saying that sign? And you walk in, it's like, Ked. You're not doing Duolingo Swedish, I am?

Am I? I? I thought you do Japanese. This is Jess and Rowan. Are you more of a trolley or a basket kind of shopper? Trolley. Okay. I need you get into the mind of a basket shopper.

I had a basket yesterday, but... All right. Obviously depends on how much you need to buy. Yeah, that's right. I am not a forward planner when it comes to grocery, so I'm doing more shops more often, which means more baskets. Yeah. I go through the checkout and I do what I thought was normal.

Unload my basket onto the conveyor belt. Pop my basket away, wait my turn. A woman comes up behind me, plonks the whole basket on the conveyor belt, leaves it. That's a, no, you don't do that. Shy guy. So once I was done, I was, I was watching, like, is she going to unpack that? I stood, I'd paid, and I stood to the side pretending to be on my phone to watch. She let the basket come right up to the chick.

Yeah. And then the checkout chick just started taking stuff out of the basket. Can I say something really quickly? Talk to me. That's what I do. No. What? That's so wrong.

I've never seen that. I just, on the ones with, yeah, on the, because it's the conveyor. When you see a person, obviously, if it's self-s. So if you've got to do it. No, just drop it there. No. No, because then they get what they need first because they're better at packing than you are. Ah, see, how do they get what they need?

My thing was... They get what they need first. I'm telling you, it's better. How can they get what they need first? If it's just a basket, they've got to get around from what's on the top. If it's a couple of things, you'd take it out. If it's a couple. But if it's a full basket.

She did a full basket. Yeah, it's smart. I couldn't believe it. Shire guy, the efficiency. You got to stand there, like this. It's rude. Like, just go, here go. Why is it...

Because I felt rude too, Shagga, but I've been reflecting on it for 12 hours. Why is it rude, though? Why? Thank you. It just screams. I'm entitled. No, it doesn't.

That's what it does scream, but I don't know why. I don't think it does. You know what it gave... Because it's not what you guys do, you think it's entitled. No, to me, and I'd love... 131060, if you work at Woolworths, Coles, Outing, whatever. Nice.

As a checkout person... What's your opinion? What is your opinion? Because you are the author. authority. Maybe you do it and you know something we don't. Because Rowan, it gives to me, upon reflection, you work harder than me. Because if I've done half the work by putting it on the conveyor belt, it's almost like we've done equal physical labour. Whereas basket was one movement for her, boom. And then the checkout chick had to do it all. How about this? Talk to me.

How about when you go to the person who does the bags, but it's not on a conveyor belt? It's the like the three of them, they're close together. And there's a spot for the basket. You put the basket down and then they take it out of the basket. You know the spot. That's in the 12 items or less. Express. No, no, no, no. No, well, there's the 12 items we're Express and then the other side's where everyone gets

their darts and stuff and there's like three people next to it. That's Express. Yeah, but they're, no, no, no, no, you're thinking of the ones where it's cash or car and you do it yourself. Is that what you mean? No, no, no, no, no, okay. person, but yeah, next to the cigarette people, yes. Put the basket down.

Yes, you're right. Express, Shigard. I'm okay with that. I'm okay because there's not a lot of real estate there, but if you're on the conveyor. Same thing. Anyway, Katie. There isn't a lot of real estate. You're right.

Is that the difference? Could we ask Katie? We could. Used to work at a supermarket. So maybe things have changed for Katie. Well, maybe things. But Katie, good morning to you. Thank you for contributing.

Good morning. How you going? Good, thank you. Used to be a checkout chick. Where do you stand on someone just plonkin the basket down for you to unpack it and scan it and then repack it in their bags? I'm actually curious this morning because it just is so rude. What?

Rowan, you're rude bastard. Why is it rude, Katie? Oh, it just is. It's like they don't, I don't know, like they expect you to do part of their job. Like, I know it's your job to pack it, but, oh, it's just rude. Anyway, one day I've had enough of this woman who did it all the time,

so I put soap in with their bread. Oh, that'll show them. Okay. All right, right. So you had a cereal plonker. Katie. And you went the only way I can get back at this woman, because I don't want to get fired and yell at her.

is by muckin with the packing. Why didn't you just say, hey, can you unpack the basket for me? It would make it easier. Katie's like me, non-confrontational. I thought this, oh, I'm very confrontational. Sounds pretty computational. I thought the size or the might do it, but it just didn't. And she'd come in all the time with this massive basket,

and I think she's lazy. Beep. Love a self-censor. Someone else's text, Rowan. I used to work at Woolies. It's hard to reach into the basket. Put strain on your arms. This has to be a little symbiosis relationship.

You do some of the work. I'll do the rest. So convey about not good, but the spot you put the basket is different because you go down. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, they've thought about the ergonomics, Rowan. I normally have the trolleys. I'm more of a trolley thing.

Well, that's fair. And let's not get into it. We don't have the time. People who take trolleys through self-serve. Oh, I do that. This is Jess and Rowan. Really quickly, all you want for your children, Rowan. health, happiness and then to be geniuses.

Totally. There's a five-year-old aviation enthusiast from Colorado over in the States. It's making headlines this week because he loves planes. Hey, don't all kids. Kids love planes. Kids love transportation. My daughter, big fan of the bus. Loves trucks, bro.

Loves a truck. Bro, a digger. Oh, really? A digger. When we drive past construction sites, we have to slow down. We get honked, but it's okay. because I roll down the window and Lucia waves at the diggers. Nice.

Digger. And she's just discovered a song by Australia's answer to Miss Rachel, Miss Monny, called Construction Crew. So that's what I've had on repeat for the past four days. Oh, construction crew. But yes, any sort of big machinery, big vessel, big transportation, William, this pre-kindergarten student loves planes. So much so, we don't have to get into this.

He's befriended a pilot named Josh. Nice. Josh, the pilot, wants to encourage William's, love of planes. Maybe he sees a little bit of him himself in five-year-old William. So he goes over to William's house and gives him an old copy of his training manual when he became a pilot for Southwest Airlines. Nice of him.

Very nice. He's bringing real props. It's one thing to bring a coloring book. It's another. This is the legit manual that I learned to fly the planes with, William. And this is my gift to you. William peruses for half an hour or so and then goes to his mum. This diagram's wrong.

If this is what they're actually training the pilots on, this diagram in the cockpit is wrong. Something called the two terrain monitors. They do not match and they should be identical. So he knows what the planes look like now? He knows what this particular piece of equipment should look like. He just knows what it should look like. And he's like the training manual, the diagram is incorrect.

That kid's going to be insufferable as an adult. So the mum goes, well, I best call someone. Smart, yes. He calls Southwest Airlines and goes, my kid's five years old. Hear me out. He's a little bit of a prodigy. The person on the other end the phone goes,

oh my God, he's right. So they have trained thousands and thousands of pilots based on this incorrect manual. Now, to be fair, it's not like it was back to front or it was the wrong information. One was just really zoomed in and one wasn't. So the imagery, it's incorrect. William's right.

I don't know if people are crashing the plane because of it. It's just wrong training. But also, what do I know? And he's five. I'm not an aviation expert. He's five. Wow. So I think he's getting honorary wings.

And I guess they're fast-tracking him to be a pilot for Southwest Airlines. We're going to give him a plane. So by nine, he'll be flying your plane. Wow. We. I'm joking about that. I'm not sure. I hope not.

This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on here. Yes, we play seven and eight every day. And seven clock we had a zero. And hoping this time, Cindy, with an S, we get more than one. What do you reckon? Woohoo! I really hope so. I love your commitment to the double-take woo-hoo.

Give us that again? I woo-hooed over Rowan. I don't know if they heard me. Go. Woo-hoo. Yes, that's a triple woo-hoo. It's a triple woo-hoo for your Friday morning. How many woo-hooos are we going to get when you went 10 grand in 30 seconds, Cindy?

Oh, my goodness. 10 grand. You'll get a lot of woo-hoos. That's a lot of woo-hoo. Got room for one more, babe. What do you want to spend the money on? Me and my partner are about to buy a place. puppy. In about two weeks, we're getting a puppy. So money will go to the puppy.

Cindy? Everything. Just want to just clarify something. Is it a real dog? Yes. Or is a rat dog? Real dog. It is a real dog. What breed? I've known.

That's a good dog. How much do they weigh? No, they're under 40. What do they get? Nah, Australian Shepherd. I love those. They're gorgeous. Working dogs and anything over 40, yes. Yes.

Working dog. Kind of like medium-sized dog. Cindy, I would love to contribute money to Cindy's new family member. Hey, so would I. That's amazing motive. You got no more left, babe. Cindy, when you get your puppy, perhaps you consider names like Nellie. Nigel, Nala, Nellie.

Because these are all names that start with N. Yep. And that's what you're going to work with this morning, okay? Yep. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter N, we need you to name. A fruit. Nectron.

A cereal. All past. A comedy film. Comedy film, pass. Something sweet. Something sweet. Nectrin. A six-letter word.

Oh, my goodness. Six-letter word. I'll skip. Something you study. Something you study, nursing. A fictional world. Fictional world Nania

An Aussie TV show You're done, babe You're done, babe The buzzer went Can I just say Don't say skip Let me just have the floor for a sec Let me just say

I love her enthusiasm You're bubbly happy lady You don't need to repeat Jess After she says it Yes We don't have time for that But you're so lovely So delightful

So lovely It's so good Cindy It's so delightful Sorry darling We couldn't get you anymore. Oh, that's okay. I've got three for you. Three is good.

I couldn't give you four because you said nectarin twice. Okay, right. Serial, Nutraean, comedy film, Napoleon, Dynamite, Norbert. You could have had six-letter word, nature, narrow needle. And then last one was fictional world. Got Narnia. I can hear you getting an out. No, now.

Got it. Cindy, I so wanted to get you a little Nigel or Nala. Oh, damn. That's okay. Are you still getting the puppy regardless? Yes. Oh, thank goodness. Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, thank goodness. Imagine that. No, no. Well, you know, some people go, if I win, I will go to Bali. Not, I've got the trip already booked. Thank goodness. Cindy already doing it, but we would have maybe got good dog bed or toys or something. Yeah, it makes sense.

Okay, she's still going to get the puppy, thank gosh. All right, next. What are they saved under in your phone? We'll talk about next. This is Jess and Rowan. Sweet Babs. Was in studio yesterday. we invited her back in today.

Morning, Babs. Good morning. Your phone was sitting upright on the desk. I happened to glance over because it lit up, Rowan. And I be a nosy young lady. We'd be nosing. We'd be nosy. And her phone's right there.

Yeah. She didn't face it downwards. It was right there. Lit up. And I... Photos. Creepy stuff coming up or what? Kind of.

But what I wanted to drill down on was who text her. Because obviously the name has popped up. Who has sent this correspondence? Hot car guy. You're not bloody far off. Nice. Had a girlfriend for it. People who are still asking who missed the update,

Babbs did go and meet the sexy car salesman, later found out how to girlfriend. I'd like to know if he cheats. We'll move on. Text popped up. Yep. Sexy Simone has sent a message. And I said to Babs,

oh, who is sexy Simone? I'd like to know who sexy Simone is. My mum. Oh, mommy. Mommy. Now, I knew your mum. Your mum's name was Simone. I know that.

Yeah. I didn't, Jerry, that sexy Simone could be one and the same. Your mother. It is. Why is she saved in your phone as sexy Simone? Well, my dad saved it as that. In your phone is even weir up. I know.

Well, it's because our phones are linked with ICloud or whatever, so the contacts are the same. Does Daddy pay for the bills or something? No comment. Worst not. Do you all have each other's contact? Well, we did originally and then I turned off that setting. Right. But I just thought it was kind of funny.

What about photos? Sexy Simone. No. Yeah, like is it all linked. It's like linked in. All our contacts came from, I don't know, the cloud. I don't know how it was. So if sexy, hang on.

What's your dad saved us? Sexy day modes. No, it's dad with the shark emoji. It's what? Dad with a shark emoji. Shark? Yeah. Pool shark?

Lone shark. No, just like he's little. It just comes up. Oh, the shark. He's the, yeah. Dad with the shark. He looked like a shark or he like bites people. What's the vibe?

I don't know. Why? A shark is what we're asking. No, because it's your dad, you know? No, my dad just says dad. Oh. My dad just says dad too. Mine says Mark.

That could not have been the most perfect answer and on-brand answer for you. I don't do the whole mum dad, dad, they get my phone. So it's Mark. What about in real life? If you have dinner with your dad. When you have dinner with your dad? Or mom or whatever, yeah. I would call, I would call dad Richard.

It gets smacked? No, no, no, the entire growing up the whole time. He used to ask him if I was his. because I'd be like I call him Richard all the time. My parents got so weird about me ever saying, hey, Lease, my mom, mom did not like it. Mum and Richard. Mom and Richard. Why did you do that?

I don't know, but I think what I was with him, like, as a little kid, you say, say Richard, say Richard. I don't think you ever said, say dad. Yeah, crazy. Okay, so if he wants it, it's funny. I call it dad more now than I ever did than when I was a kid. It's funny growing up that my parents would be so anti me calling them anything but mom and dad. I'm like, what's the big deal? It's your name.

The other day. My daughter called me grandma and I... Man. Well, she said grandma. Why'd she call you grandma? I'm not sure why she called me grandma, but not being called mum, broke my heart. So now I finally get it.

So to Richard and to Mark, I implore you. Well, Dad's in my phone, his dad. Good. And I so call him Dad. And I think my mates loved it too, because I call him Richard, they go, Richard! Richo! They loved it.

They loved it. I know. And he loved it, too. My father was Signore Fakione. Sorry, that's. Farkione is how you say it in proper Italian. C.H is a K. What do you mean?

What do you mean? She said it really quickly and I just thought you were... It sounded like a slur or something. Absolutely not. It's how you say it properly. What was one? Farkione. Okay.

That sounded better. Yeah. The first time you said it... No, no, no. We heard. We heard. Shiger, but you revealed something. Your friends save their father.

Speaking of dads. What are your friends save their dads as in their... sperm donor. Funny. So what we'd like to do is get to the bottom of, what's they saved us in your phone? We've got sexy Simone, got Mark, sperm donor.

You got anyone saved something kooky? Yeah, you are Jess Fat Tony. It's been that forever. Fat Tony. Has it been that forever? I'm going to change you to Fat Tony too. No, but it makes sense with your name. Don't be so rude.

That would be so rude. That's what we're going to call each other? No. Where's your name at the bottom of the favour? Jess, Fat Tony. It's been that? mine the favourite? Yeah.

I haven't updated mine. Don't look at mine. You'll be offended. It's, um, yeah, because remember when we first met down in Melbourne? Yes. I was like, yeah, it's Jess. I get fat Tony. I get fat tony.

Fat Tony something. I don't know. I get fetichini and I get fart minestrone. You are fart minestrone. To be honest, all of those don't annoy me as much as what shy guy has me saved as. Jess, open bracket. Hit Newcastle, close bracket. Yes, yes.

13, 10, 60. What are they saved in your phone as? Someone just message Stacey. He said, my husband is hubby McCub face. That's what we're looking for, baby. That's what we're not. Do that next. This is Jess and Rowan.

What are they saved in your phone as? Me, I have Jess in there as Jess Fat Tony. I've been thinking you're changing it. Every time I see it, I think of changing it. And then I have to think about how I would spell your last name. And then I get over it. I always like when people have to spell my surname in front of me, people who should know how to spell.

And I go, let's see how quick I can punch it out, sometimes they struggle. It's kind of spelt the way it sounds. right? Absolutely it is. It's Farchie 1. Fartchie 1. Fartch 1. Fartch 1.

My dad always makes the joke he's Farchie 1 and I'm Farchie 3. My mom's Farche 2. My brother's Farty 4. Rob. It's a comedic genius. Getting a lot of texts here, Rowam. This bloke has said, hey, legends, love the show. Thank you very much.

My Mrs has a broken ankle at the moment. So I call her a vegetable. So in my phone I have her as my little veggie. She hates it. I hate that. But I think it's funny. A bit fun. Someone else has said,

my partner's name in my phone is unbeatable wordsmith. Really? Because he always beats me at the game, words with friends. Unbeatable words. I really like that people are like updating them. Like you and I, you put my name in your phone 10 years ago and haven't changed it,

whereas people are changing them. You swore with me to switch that up a little bit. Tanya has said, I have my kid's dad. Kids dad. Saved as Deadbeat. Okay. Deadbeat is calling. That feels.

Someone said, Jess needs to save Rowan in her phone as Skid Rowan. What does that mean? I like Skid Row. Well, that's not... What's Skid Row? It's like a... It's not bad. I haven't heard the one before.

I'll give you that. I've never heard Skid Rowan ever. What's... Should I know what that is? Skid Row. Skid Row is like... It's a band too. It's a band, there you go.

It's a band. You said it's a band too, but what's the first example? Is Skid Row hard, like, like a hard place? Like, Skid Row is not prison, is it? Skid Row is like, a run-down part of a town. Yeah, Skid Row on Skid Row. That's what you remind me of. Yeah, I'll save your name as that.

Farchy one. All right, change your name in my phone now. Wow, what an evolution for us. It looks weird. Let's go to Liz. Good morning, Liz. Oh, you want to, okay. What's your best friend saved as?

Hello? Hi, Liz. Hi, Liz. Oh, sorry. That's all right, babe. So it's a double. So my best friend is saved as spaghetti spiller, and in her phone, I'm saved as wine sprayer.

Wine sprayer. There's stories that are linked to these names, isn't there? Yes. The very first time we met were at a mutual friend's birthday dinner at a local pub, and she ordered spaghetti bolognais. And as she was walking back to the table,

holding her spaghetti ballernais, she tripped and spilled the spaghetti all down the front of her white dress. Hence the spaghetti spill a nickname. Happens. And then, so I'm wine sprayer because as that happened, I had a glass of like a mouthful of my wine

and sprayed it all over the table. Yeah. That's what we need to wait. for Rowan. Let's hang out a bit more. Wait for an incident where both of us end up in food or drink. I just try to think. There's definitely a couple of incidents. There's been a few incidents.

Mud buddies. Mud. I hope we did the splendor in the mud, yeah. That sounds like butt stuff. Hello, Jess. Hey guys. How are you? Good.

What are they saying in your photos? So it's actually me in my husband's phone. When we first started dating like 11 years ago, I was Jess Ben Squeeze. Just then squeeze. Ben's squeeze. But the morning after our wedding, like literally laying in bed the next morning, he changed it to the handbrake.

He called you the handbrake. The handbrake. So when you call him, it comes up as the handbrake is ringing. Yep. I don't know how I feel about that, Jess. How do we feel about that? Leave him. No, it's funny.

The funniest part was when I was Jess Ben Squeeze, he shared it with his family. So I also went into his dad's phone as Jess Ben Squeeze. Oh, I love that. That's a good one. That's fantastic. That's what's happened with sexy Simone. You know what I mean?

With Babs' dad creating that contact. Kelly, good morning. Hello. Hello. What are you saved in your daughter's phone as? Birth giver. Birth giver. I mean, I love that.

It doesn't quite have a ring to it, doesn't it? It kind of doesn't roll off the tongue, but it really tells you. I was mummy, then I was mum, then I was Kelly, and now birth giver. Which, it's such upstet me. BG. Thank you, Kelly. I don't know if I love that. Like when Lucia's old enough to get a phone, let's be real, she's too, it'll be next year.

I don't want to be saved as birthgiver. Maybe like Dad's wife or something. Hey, Chrissy. Hi, Chrissy. Hello, what are you saved? What's going on with your phone? So my husband is in my phone as Batman. Okay.

And has the Batman ringtone. and I'm Miss Smiley Sorry, Miss Smiley. Yeah. You're a cheery lady, Chrissy. Why Batman? Oh, so we started dating about 11 years ago and back then on YouTube

there was this thing that was the Batman Wars and they'd go, Hi, I'm Batman. This is Jess and Rowan. Big ups to Shy Guy and Babs for removing themselves from the diary this week Because they were so funny. That's what took so much of their time and energy,

creating this week's diary that they went, we did so much work and we were absolutely killer. But the two people whose name is on the show... When were they funny? A little lackluster. Well, let's listen back to it now. Well, what are we going to be with Jess and Rowan? Are we meant to be talking?

Yeah. What happened? You didn't turn the mic on. Oh my God, I thought going to ads. Yeah, listen. We've fucked up. It's no secret to 20. on Jess can get a little bit loud and animated

when she's excited about something. But her mum, Lisa, might have worked out a way to quieten her down. And she hit me with a hand gesture. She's placed her palm upwards. Yeah. Her hand up at the palm facing down. Yep.

And then hit me with a little hand waggle. That's not good. Disagree. You like that? That. You like that? That. So effective.

You like that. She just went a little waggle, waggle, Rowan. It immediately made me lower my voice. You didn't mind that? And then 60 seconds later, I checked in and went, Oh my God, my mom just basically told me to lower my voice like all these people have in my life. My feelings were not hurt.

So that looks, that feels extremely condescending to me. Oh, you reckon? It was amazing. All the things I would describe as condescending up until this point, that was the first time I've ever been told, uh-uh, shh-uh, you're screaming. Oh. Oh. It's not for me at all. Right, don't do it to Rowan.

Smack. Shagai has been waiting so patiently for the day that Jess and Rowan finally acknowledged. or the hard work he puts in. About time. Family in South Africa in the region of Stanga, possibly Stanger. It's about five hours from Johannesburg.

Thank you, Shagai. I looked at up. I don't even see him Google. What a sis. I looked it up when I saw the other... LeBron James with the layout. Excuse me. I just thought that might help contextually.

Welcome to the party. Michael Jordan. Anyway, continue. No, no, you tell the story now. That's the only thing I know. Past the She's John. That was Robin. I've worked with this young man for two and a bit years.

He was waiting. You've known him for 10. He was waiting. That was the best contribution of ever. You're literally, bro, you're in the bushes then. You're in the bushes. You're in the bushes. We're always learning here on this show.

We've got you covered with the six-severs and the signa's. Oh, God, please stop. Okay, here's a new one for you, though, mugging. Bab's had a crack at explaining it to the guys. To mug someone is to outshine, outdo, or exert dominance over them. So usually by way of, physical experience. E.G. I'll give you some examples. Thank you. If you're

jaw-mogging, it means you've got a really defined jaw. Yeah. There's also maxing going around. You more across maxing. No, like Jess and maxing. Yeah. Can we get monging first before we go another one? Well, I think it might all be connected. It's all connected. It's all within this menosphere. I think people are saying, the menosphere. You know what it is. The menosphere. It's a men thing. It's a menosphere. The men's sphere. Was it men, plural? Well, menosphere could be pretty negative. Don't you reckon? Well, that's 100%. You're a guy.

You've just done the catwalk. Yeah. Would you say he mogged that? I don't know. Why are you asking me? Hang on, no, that's me. You're now the authority. That's why I'm asking you.

I think it's mocking. So like jaw mocking, you have the best jaw. Like, you've got a really nice jaw. It's not giving the same examples. Sorry, because I don't understand. I don't understand. While everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I think this one could really just be rage bait.

Here's what Rowan had to say about. drinking coffee with milk. I've decided that if you have anything other than black coffee... We should call something else. That's great. You love the coffee taste and you like a bit of a pick-me-up, but you like milkshakes. Fine.

You don't like sitting down to have a coffee. If you and your mates go out to a cafe and you both get lattes, a couple of boys going for milkshakes. That's... And you should have it in one of those big steel cups and two straws. Just commit. Either have a no-dose and a caramel milk shake. Well, where do you stand on something like a piccolo or a macchiata,

where it's only just a little bit on milk? It's a little milkshake. Jess couldn't believe that texting in 2026 was totally free. I blew her mind explaining the difference between SMS and data, but then the conversation quickly turned, I might be hanging out with her too much. Hello, Motto. Free texting. Yeah, but it's free texting, free calls.

That's all new. That's all pretty standard now. So is the credit just for internet connection for the kids these days? Data. Data. How much data are you buying the data? But if you message Lucia, that's data. It's data.

It's data. Dada. So you've got to have a data plan. Is it interesting internet stuff or is it Dada? Dada. He gets so woggy around me. Have you noticed? It's rubbing off and I love it.

I'm going to get you an ancestry. I'm going to get you an ancestry.com swap. I'm going to send it off. You might have something in you, Dahl. Maybe. Anyone. You want something in you? Play this one.

Hello, Motho. See you next week, rice cookers. Oh, Godspeed. This is Jess. And Rowan Jess and Rowans Cooker of the Week. Yes, and we call them the cooker of the week.

Today, Jess, what have we decided? For the 500 is bended in junior. We had fabulous contributions. Thank you to everyone who picked up the phone, but I must say, Rowan, the text line was popping off. Text line has been popping off a lot lately. I think it's working, us encouraging people, to save our number.

You know, sorry, just while I think of it, we are going to have to go through our hidden requests more on Instagram. On Instagram. Because Instagram has been filtering words. And one of my friends other day was like, you didn't want to respond. It was like from a month ago. It said, love the show guys. You're killing it. But then I looked in our hiddens and it said hidden words based on preferences.

Yeah, killing. Oh, anything they've deemed a little suspect. I was like, we're going to have to figure that out. Oh, we will. Because I would also, I would like to filter out any. meanness. So I started to go through, I say, sorry, I missed this.

Yeah, man, appreciate it. Okay, that's a good note. Shiger, you've got a quiet weekend. Work that out, please. Thanks. As you know, I'll be on a yacht. I can't be doing that amongst the ladies. Top 40 on 40.

I'm cooking chicken and broccoli, all right? Yeah, you flat chat. But you're right. Contributions have been popping off. This week's winner does come from the text line. Earlier this week, we shamed Shai Guy for breaking office equipment. In a fit of rage at something you had failed to do, sir. Also not a big deal.

One click that I sorry, didn't do it, and shy guy breaks things. He was so upset about it. He piffed his bick pen. Oh, yep, nice. At his desk computer, shattering the screen. Yeah, shattering's dramatic.

Have we met? Oh, listen, I saw it. Don't let me get Babs back in here to talk about how furious you were. It looked a bit shattered. It snapped it over his knee. It was a whole thing. So we wanted to know, geez, when you. You take the joke too far, what the joke broke,

or even, God forbid, specifically, what went wrong with the pen. Yeah. Ryan Textus. When I was 10 years old, I was watching the state of origin. Go New South Wales. New South Wales tried to score a try but couldn't ground it off a loose ball. So me as a 10-year-old tried to demonstrate, in my living room, how they would ground a ball using a pen.

Queensland scored. I got animated, tried to show them again how you would ground a ball. ball using a pen slammed it down with such force. It went through my hand. Safe to say, I did not get to watch the rest of that game. So he's the winner of the $500 in Genia Park.

He is winning 500 to spend at Ingenia Holiday Parks for what went wrong with the pen? We didn't know if we'd get any contributions and we got a Ripper. Did you know back, I mean, you wouldn't, but you probably can't see it from there, but when I was in grade four... I see a bulbous blue vein? What is that?

No, that is a pencil. That is pencil lead. In your hand? It snapped in my hand. I shouldn't be in your body. I don't think it should have. It's been there since I was 10. You know how you've been doing a lot of investigation into your health?

You asked anyone about what that could be doing? Oh, we asked. I asked a doctor once and he said, and he was like, oh, it should be graphite. It's just nothing. It's a graphite pencil. I want to give a second opinion on that. A foreign object in your body. Can't be good.

Can't be good. My hands are strong, though. You're like, you're Wolverine. I'm not doing the Wolverine stuff, man? I think you're Wolverine. So there you. Well, that's next week. What went wrong with a pencil?

Yeah. We asked a pen. What'd you stick in your hand? That's why Ryan won. What'd you stick in your body? Next. We can do that. Next week, a U.E. boom.

Oh my God, yeah, big one. Not just a little one you put on your counter. Big boom. The big boom. Epic. So you get involved in the show, text, DMs. We'll check the requests. Or calls, of course.

You win the U.E. Boom next week. Definitely. All right, guys. We'll see you Monday from 6. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Try the big Brecky Range with Honey-Serracha today. Only at Maccas.