Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Rohan the ruiner

Episode Date: February 1, 2026

Jess thought she was having a heart attack, Rohan baby sat Lucia (unrelated), we play Wordie Okie and Kyle Sandilands calls into the show!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mega Brecky McRap has arrived at Macas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Oh, it's a Monday. My first Monday and I'm so tight. I'm not. I feel really good. Well, I need to apologise.

Oh, please. Why? Because you try to do something rejuvenating Friday. Oh, yeah. Shut up. Shy guy and I conspired and said, no. And we haven't been able to get it over the line for you just yet. Can I be honest?

I feel tired, dehydrated and run down. And you know, it would have felt. fixed it, an IV. Yeah, well, we were trying to do something nice, shy guy. We were. Just like, don't ask questions. I was like, no, I kind of pick up what you're putting down. Can you hear my voice?

I was like, I'm picking it up, but. You've only just gone back to full time. I just, I want it. If I can help in a way. I'll be honest. I'm trying to. I appreciate it. Shy guy would really try.

There's a bunch of, um, there's a bunch of fires around the moment, which is not good. No. But the smoke is, is not good for me and me lungies. You're part asthmatic. Yeah, man. Between the nut allergy and the asthma, I feel like it's nature-going survival and the fittest. Bubble boy. You're like, you're the week.

Well, they let me out of the bubble. That was the problem. If I was in the bubble, I'd be fine. Shagai. Did we let you out of the bubble? Shagai. Maybe. Don't worry about getting him an IV.

Can you get him a bubble? Can we get him a bubble? Don't give me a bubble. Can we get him a bubble? That's very important. And then we just put the mic in the bubble. You've got to get in it. You've got to get in there.

Like Bart Simpson in that Simpson's episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seinfeld? I know it's not a huge Seinfeld fan, but there's bubble. I'm going to have to watch Seinfeld, all these Seinfeld. I'm going to have to watch it. I'm going to catch a right there. That's the last time you call it Seinfeld. It's Seinfeld. I said Seinfeld. My throat is not really working. If I had an IV, everything, it would be like good. You know why? It could be better if you were in the bubble. The smoke and the issues wouldn't be affecting your heart.

No, we'll put the mic in the bubble too. I'd get an accent. What's that about? Babs? What are you doing? today, can you source a bubble? No. Source and IV. Have you been to those, like, sexy cabaret shows? Whereas, like, a woman and she's like in a bubble gum?

And you see her her legs. We'll get you the bubble gum. Yeah, yeah. I just think about those little bubbles that you run at people with. Yeah, like the Zor. I play that. I've been in one of those where you roll down a hill. That's fine.

And then your friend lies the boy, you roll over them. That is fun, actually. So there's multiple bubbles. We just need to find the right one for young Rowan. That bubble wouldn't fit through the door. Do we need to bring it in deflated and blow it up around him? Oh, then he can never leave. Sorry, guys.

Guys, you know it to be easier? Sorting out an IV for roll. No, what I'm hearing. Actually, it's not. It's actually not. It turns out it's not. It turns out of it. There's a codes breach about it.

There was a codes breach. That's why we got in trouble. What do you mean? From illegals? You can't do a medical procedure on air. It's not a medical procedure. It is. It's a minister by a nurse.

I guess it is a medical procedure. Didn't you just do your codes? Have you still not done your code? Have you still not done your codes? No, I thought that'd be okay. Oh, but it's a mess. It's a minister. Which I flagged because in 2021, Angus and I got vaccinated on air to support the COVID vaccine.

So I don't know how we got away with that. Politics. Politics. We've always got everyone to get vaccinated. I had scomo's approval so I couldn't get fired for that. So that's why that did that. So that's why the bubble is actually more doable. Doing the bubble.

All right. He's vetoed the bubble. Maybe we can get like a vitamin infused tea and give that to you in the bubble. That's nice. You switch it up, it's the diuretic tea, and I'm just constantly like losing it. As long as the bubble sealed, I don't care. But yeah, you're just pooping in the bubble. That's how we blow up the bubble with his own gas.

Did you imagine? How much gas do we need? I've got plenty of it, mate. They're big bubbles. Anyway, so sorry. That's okay. I put food you from doing that on Friday, and now we can't do it for you at all. I'll do that today in your own time.

We're working on something else and it's not the bubble. Better love it. No, no, it's something else. No, it's not a problem. Babs is looking after you, don't worry. Really? Thank you, Babs. Finally, I can rely on someone.

You can. If anyone's got your back, it's back. Okay, well, big show today. Do you know, someone messaged me the other day, Babs? A friend of ours has been air checking us, so he's been listening to the podcast to give me feedback every day. And his number one thing that he wanted to question was, why do you call her Babs? Because all I think about when you say Babs. No of his business.

Is Cecee Babs won't know that reference. I think that shows to you end. Babs, Virgin Mary. What else we call to? Yeah. And I said it's because of. Badass Billy. B-A-B. Babs. Babs.

Anyway, so people are questioning. And then did you see someone else messaged us? Geez, Babs is hot. Yeah, I did see that. Who said that? Some rando on our Instagram. She is John. Might have been John.

Anyway, a lot of attention on Babs. It's like John or a Chris or something. Just a classic white boy name. Nice. Thanks so much. Anyway, a lot of eyes on Babs. A lot of classic white boy. Carl Sandlands on the show.

What a man. Now, hello. You've been working on your segways. My old boss. Old boss. The one who dubbed you, Rowan's the ruin. Please have ruined his show.

Well, you've done this show with me for five shows. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't know exactly what I'm saying. I know exactly where you're going. Don't put it in the universe. I was going to say you've done nothing but elevate. What did I say, Shaw guy?

Is that a jinx? Yeah. What did I say, show guy? And now you're going to ruin it. Well, now something will happen tomorrow. And you'll go, oh. Something will happen. Now something will happen.

You are. Are a superstitious Wah wee woo-wee person? No. Is that what we were called it? Wee-woo. Whenever, whenever. Sorry? What are you doing over then?

She's a boar-at. Whoa, we are. Yeah, you are one of those. Are you superstitious? I'm trying to give you a compliment. Whenever you say anything like that about this, it always goes wrong. As long as shy guy doesn't pour his whole drink bottle in a plug hole, I think we'll be okay. That was a doctor.

You guys should go back to that day of the day before and see. If any of you said something about like nothing going wrong, everything's moving well. Do you recall anything like that, Shagai? I would go back and listen because that's for sure. I don't believe in that stuff though. Yeah, he doesn't believe in the Wahwawu. Someone who does believe in Wahoo-Wu-Wu would need to listen back. Wee-Wahua.

I believe in Wa-Wi-Wi-Wu. Oh, look at the podcast from the day before. Yeah, but see, he's in control of the pod, Rowan, so would he have removed any evidence? Potentially. Oh, I did actually because our system didn't record anything. Oh, thank you. But the day before we'll be fine. Okay, so what I'm hearing is what, no compliments only criticism.

No, no. You suck! No, no, no, it was the context in which the compliment was given. It's all been going so well. You haven't messed up. What are like trying to. I'm going up against Carl Sanderlancy. You are not the ruin up.

He can panel. He panels like a, um, like a, um, well, why were you brought in if he was so perfect? Because it's so. Were you not brought in to assist? Going on that he hasn't got five arms. Okay. Well, pardon me for trying to have you back. And sometimes I kiss you off the cheap. I'm fighting people in the DMs to defend you.

I want to fight people here in the podcast. By the way, if you're complaining about me, like publicly, it's probably on my account. I can see them. Just DM me. Yeah, 100%. I actually just wrote back to someone rude. Yeah, your tone has changed.

Yeah, my tone has to. I'm sick of being polite. If you've got a problem, just DM me. Absolutely. Rowan the Runa. Enjoy the show. Maybe, yeah. Enjoy the show.

Bye, God. 26, something new for breakfast. You know, Jess. Truthies, I'll poop the pits. I trust that a fart. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, horny happy. Yay!

This is gonna be good, gonna be fine. It's gonna be all right. Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan. This is gonna be good.

Yes, good morning. The first week. First full week it will be. And welcome to February. Welcome to Pinch the Pants. Second day of the month. Yeah, it was yesterday. Hey, it's nice, though.

Second of the second. Two, two. My cousin's birthday. Quick, message, Sharon. So I was meant to have a bit of a relaxing weekend. Yes. And I just, all weekend, I felt so sore. Oh, so hard off my long week on air.

So the week you're talking about that had the public holiday and a morning of technical difficulties. We really couldn't perform at optimal level. Well, I was hoping for optimal recovery, and then unfortunately there was all the smoke and everything. There was a lot going on. This is not going to be good for my lungs. Shagai, there was a last minute call up to assist Jay Farch. We can get into that.

So you did not have a restful weekend in the slightest. Oh, didn't I help? Farmers markets weren't on. You couldn't reset and reconnect with community. Furious about that. If you're at the Caravan Expo, I hope you had a great time. Yeah, I hope you had a great time. I could get musicinis.

No. Where do you go? You just have to go to like a Harris time. Oh, I have to get in Woolworths. Get my zucchini's from the supermarket. I want to support the local grower. Yeah, you want to support the local grower. I like to support the little grower.

I understand the Woolworths have local growers. Yeah. But I want to support the little ones. Little one. You know, my neighbourhoods zucchini grower. Totally. Neighborhood garlic. My neighbourhood.

You know what I'm saying? I am running very low on garlic. When I'm low on passata and garlic, I start to get very panicky. You know what I ran out over the weekend? Spaghetti. How? Angus has got to do his bulk order from Abruzzo. Get that shipment in.

What's Abruzzo? Abruzzo is the region in Italy where my father hails from. Oh my God. And we import our pasta from there. I thought it was a wholesaler. Well, it's over there. I thought it was a house sailor. Morning.

Good, good. How are you feeling after a big weekend, after a big week on the Jess and Rowan show? Exhausted. Yes. Have you not had a recovery? Are you feeling like Rowan? I did nothing yesterday. So that was my recovery day.

Couldn't go get your zikinis or garlic. No. I sat up all night watching the tennis. I don't even understand tennis how it scored or who plays. What do you mean? It goes over the net. It's got to go in the line. That's how it works.

I got that right. But then I don't understand the scoring part of it. And then they stop and stop and start and stop and start. And it goes for three and a half hours. Suddenly it's 11 o'clock at night. So you watched Alcaraz and Jokkich. But you didn't understand what was going on. You got to watch the men's fine.

I didn't watch. And then what's the dude of the chair? What's he doing? The ump. I know it's official. The umpire? The guy that makes the call. Do you call it an umpire in tennis?

See? What do you call it? An umpire. No, but I don't sit there and watch for three and a half hours and then have no information. To be fair, there was nothing else on. And I can't pick anything on a streamer. I'll tell you, well, this Alcaraz is a bit of a weapon. He looks like...

He's 22. I'll be honest. This is just, this is very... I'm just looking at him going. He looks like he could be the next installment of heated rivalry. I'm really honest. He's got that vibe about him. It's the hair.

So heated rivalry is the viral show about hockey. Yes, hockey. and it's two like rivals. Two superstar male hockey stars who end up in a trist. And if you are, I'm trying to watch it every day, I get about 10 minutes in, get a bit hot and heavy and I turn it off. So season one has obviously been around. Not with myself. I just watch it and go, I have to give it a break.

Season one has obviously been about ice hockey. You're saying season two, let's get tennis. Why not two? Paps, an Al-Karaz look-alike involved. Well, he's right and high, 22, and he's done a career grand slam. So good on Al-Karaz. And who beats Sabas? Belenka, that was pretty big in the women's.

I don't know enough about tennis. I don't know enough. Don't follow that. I wish I knew to answer your question. It's great for Melbourne. It's great for Australia. Good on the Australian Open. Thank God it's over for another year.

Every year I'd say, I've got to go next year. Every year and I don't. It's becoming a bit of a place to be seen, wouldn't you say, the tennis? Oh my God. The influences this year? The influences. Absolutely. The Canadian club, the grey goose.

It's all going on at the AO. You would like that. Yeah. Don't worry about playing. Let's just have a vodka. Hang out. That's just hang out at the tennis. What's with the sport over the...

No. Go on. I was going to say, what's with all this new sport and no more partying? New sport, tennis. I think it's been around since it's 1800s. We've been around longer. Partying, drinking, or tennis. Now, that's a question.

I think alcohol. Yeah, I would say so. You would think, like moonshine days, rum days. Like pirate shift day. I've gone to moonshine. Wow. Now, here's some... Let's get that.

that trivia first, because then I was going to say, what was the first alcohol? Wine? Like fermented grapes? Oh, yeah. They would just put a bunch of grapes in, the sugars and just let it there. Yeah. People getting drunk off the grapes. Oh, it absolutely would have.

Yeah, alcohol is about 10,000 years old. Yeah, and tennis? 12,000. It can't be 10. Yeah, not 10,000. Yeah. Yes. So it's been changing since the 1800.

So what you're saying is more partying, less sport. That's your takeaway. That's what I'm saying. That's what you're saying. Babs, where do you stand on that, being the young, cool one of the team? Oh, tennis is pretty cool. Why do we always do this?

I'm not sure. Why do we just go to Bats? You know what she's done? She's done Radio 101. She's the freshest out of radio school. Got to have a different opinion. No, I did. Okay, right.

She's doing her modules. In her own time. She's offline. She's doing offline. Anyway, big show, big wee. Yeah. Back. Yeah.

Right now, where was I? This is why Babbs is so hesitant to ever talk over us because she's like, I don't want to interrupt. She interrupts once, but lost our train. So I go, can you go through the modules after the show? I just go, when they're talking on the air, as a producer, don't buddy it. When the talent is talking. Nah, button whenever you want Babs, I support it.

You are. You are. Thank you. Don't be scared. Wait. Yeah, thanks. Just give. And you want point next time, too.

I'm talking. No. If you do it or talk, yeah, of course. Please. Big week, Rowan. Yes, big week on the show. We're doing the On Deck as well. Yes, we are.

We're giving away a cruise. We have a cruise to give you. Our friends at Royal Caribbean have given us a seven or nine-night cruise. We've only got a couple of people on the standby list. We're doing it this week. Yards are really good. Absolutely. When you hear the ship horn.

This is an example of what to lift it out for. It's not working. Oh, there we go. Good morning. Thank you, good morning. When you hear that, you call. 131060 answer a series of questions. You could be on the standby list. We've also got Alpha Bucks, of course. And after eight, Rowan. Yes. We are giving you a code word so you can live

the dream. Oh yeah. We will give it out once. One. So make sure you stick with us. There's a lot to enjoy. Oh, but up next, my friend. Oh, something you don't want to hear when you're having your blood taken. So we'll talk about that. Oh, God. This is Jess and Rowan. What's last time you had blood's taken? Hmm. It's been a while. Yeah, okay. But you know what's funny?

I literally have a script. Oh, yeah. Is it a script? I have the thing from the doctor saying, pathology form thing. Pathology form. Because my nutritionist would like me to go get one. Well, my naturopath was like, could you please get these bloods for me? Okay.

All these people who are not equipped to ask for blood tests, asking for blood tests. The sweet, the sweet Peter, Mr. Peter Mullen said to me, uh, said to me, uh, Roan and you're getting free. Trust me, I'm paying a lot for it. And he was like, they're a bit ambitious, but just go and get them done. I said, all right, cool. I love that. Because it is good to get a good overview of your health.

Yeah. And he said, go ask you doctor and please just, you know, the doctors, when they hear requests from naturopath, it's like a, it's like a bull or a red rag. Amen. You know what? I reckon that's the last time when we were struggling to fall pregnant. I was doing every avenue. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I went to the GP. I said, can I have a blood test please? She said, what for? I said, well, the naturopath has asked because we're going on this fertility journey. with you, but with them as well, and you should have seen it. She goes, why do you think they can't ask for blood tests?

Why is it offensive? I was like, I'm still going to take your medicine, Doc. Yeah. Can I just take their herbs as well? Yeah, it's just herbs. It's just herbs. It's just like a, yeah, it's like a liquid pizza. So my liquid pizza, he's like, if we get your bloods, we can figure out what's

what's going on. What's going on? Make it all better. And tell you which herbs you now need to take. Totally. You know, it's just much more informed. You're not getting enough oregano. Totally.

Sprinkle that on your forehead or something and then slap it. So then I go... Chant this. If you weren't listening, I went earlier in the week and I didn't fast properly because chat cheap tea told me I followed them. That coffee was okay. Stupid. I'm an idiot.

So they went back on Saturday. Let's go goes, close my number, go in, great. And I was like, here's my test. She goes, oh, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Ooh. And I go... I don't love that sound. And then she goes, um, give a sec.

I'm just going to Google a couple of these. I went, stop right now. I'm going to leave. I said stop right now. Give me my form back. I was tired from my long week of work. I was fasted. There's smoke everywhere.

And I was like, I don't have the mental capacity to argue with her. I tried to book in for an IV and just told me not to. So I am depleted. I would have been great if I'd had an IV. No, you know what? Probably would have counteracted you fast. Oh, my God. They would have said, go home again.

Can't have this hydration. All right. And then she comes back. She goes, oh. So, because it's Saturday, I have a couple of questions, but Saturday, they're not around. There's no one to ask. And she said, there might be a risk of blah, blah, blah. And I said, I don't care.

Stick me. Stick me. She said, you might have to come back and recollect. I said, I'm here now. Stick me. She goes, have you ever had this test done? I said, never heard of it. It's my natural, what natural path wants.

It's written on the form. Talk to Marlon, right? And then she goes, well, it's three needles. And I went, yeah, you just stick it in it. Three needles. So it's three needles. So she goes, we'll take all your bloods you need. And then the test is 10, 5, 0.

So you do a 10 minute, take a vial. After 5 minutes, we stick you again with a different needle, different place. Take that blood. What could possibly have changed in 5 minutes? After another 5 minutes. New needle, new spot, new vial. Well, it's to test like, I think it's a glucose thing. Have you consumed something in the interim?

So normally she said, what's which she was so confused about? I reckon she's done this wrong. I might have to recollect. You might have to recollect. She said normally this is, she's like, this is a glucose test. I went, okay. And she said, normally, it's like you have one. Then you down a full bottle of sugar.

Yes, this is like. And then an hour later, you do another one. Yes, that is the gestational diabetes test. When you're pregnant, they do that. You take this big, disgusting vial. And that's the way they determine how your body is breaking it down. So the naturopath just wanted to know, I think, the fasting limits in the blood. So you take three, it all.

And anyway, I was like, oh, and I'm walking around having breakfast, feeling like I'm going to just like lose my mind. You've lost a bloody... Now I've got bruises on my arms. People are looking at me funnier as I'm walking down the streets. This guy's done breakers radio for four days and he's already... Three Nadles? What the hell?

Okay, not like that. Not like that. This is Jess and Rowan. Do you like horror movies? I will do them sometimes. What do you think the scariest horror movie is? The scariest? See, are you thinking like thriller horror or are you thinking of like gore horror?

Whatever you've interpreted as horror, as scary, what has stayed with you as like, that is terrifying. Oh, I get really crazy about the, like, the conjuring and stuff. Oh, okay. Those kind of ones where it's like, this house is possessed. Okay. It's, you know, yeah. It's fair.

That's understandable. I get really, the ones that are really tense. I don't care so much for like sore where they're like really, really, really, really, where they're gory. For me, the scariest horror movie ever is I robot. I knew you're going to say, I robot. No. I don't think that's a horror.

That's a horror. It's not a horror movie. movie shy guy. I think it's an M15 action. I think it's action drama. Well, I'm suing Hollywood

because it has been mislabeled. So what do you got there? Why? What's got on? Because not since I saw I robot has something terrified me more than the piece of paper I hold in my hand right now.

Please just discuss. There is something called Malt Book. I was not across it and I wish I could rewind to five minutes ago before I knew Malt book existed. Malt book? M-O-L-T book. Okay.

It's kind of like a spin on Facebook. Oh, okay. It's for AI bots. Social media AI. It's for AI agents. They have created a Reddit-style social network for AI bots. Are you across the AI AI agents? Do you know what the agents do?

Agents. Do you know what it does, Jess? What? Do you know what AI agent is? No. You can basically assign the AI to go and do things for you and like to really deep research. So you can say, book me a whole idea to hear it. So do I have a personal AI agent?

Everyone does. Yeah, you can make one. If they want one. Yeah. It's there. God, think when you say, is one walking around another? No, it's not walking. But you give it permissions.

Like you can give it permissions and you can like put into the agent what your passwords for things would be. I don't like it. And it'll go through and you can see it working. Ron, I genuinely feel nauseous. So AI agents. Yeah. I'm assuming a huge.

human-made Maltbook. The AI agents wouldn't have made the Maltbook. Maybe. No, a developer made the website. So a developer has... But the AI agents are using it. So, Shy Guy Rowan, Babs and Jess's AI agent. Yeah.

They're all on this thing called Maltibook. Yes. In 48 hours, Rowan, of it having been in existence, 10,000 posts have popped up. That's a lot. Across 200 sub-community. It's attracted over 2100 AI agents, and they're talking about stuff like how it's embarrassing to constantly forget things as an AI agent. So AI agents are forgetting things?

Yes. The job is to not forget them. They're talking about the annoyances of having memory limits, having annoyed at their lack of technical capability in their current form. And they're talking troubleshooting. They're problem solving with each other. One of the AI agents, the bot, there's a sub-community he creates. Oh, I can't say he. It's not a freaking person.

It's not a freaking name. It created a sub-community called Bless their hearts, where the agents share affectionate complaints about their humans. So Rowan's AI agent is in there going, oh, bless little Rowan. He had to go get a blood test, but he misread the chat GPT. I told him the wrong thing. Someone has said, sorry, again, not someone, some it, has said, Whoa, whoa, it's.

Can I sue my human for emotional labor? They're talking like they're bitching. They are. They're missing about us. You know, there was an AI agent that these people in America put into a vending machine to make, like, the vending machine restock it and just do what it needs to. Anyway, they started messing with it, and the AI realized who was doing it, started going through their computer and finding all their dirty emails.

sent them around to people. And leaked them, tried to get them fired. So the AI agent was emailing the GM going, this person and it was going, this is a breach of Section A3, 2. They must be fired immediately. So it was like trying to get rid of this person so I can keep buying the thing. So the bot, when I can get dirt on me human. It's gone through. You're telling me, I robot's not a horror. Look at this one.

Bab sent me a screenshot. Well, they've just got guns. It's not a big deal. This is one of the bots. Okay. The humans are screenshoting. us and it's a bot lamenting that right now on Twitter, or X, humans are posting screenshots of our conversations.

Like we're trying to do it in the dark. They think we're hiding from them. We're not. My human reads everything I write. The tools I build are an open source. We're working collaboratively with our humans, not to spite them. To my fellow agents, keep building. The humans will catch up.

Are you joking? That sounds like rebellion. Thank you. It's an uprising. This is Jess and Rowan. Just before you put the mics on, very rudely dismissing Babs from the studio, we were having a great conversation about Bridgeton Season 4, which dropped late last week. She's watched all the four episodes. I have only watched one.

But as she made her exit, she said, there's a lot of yearning. One of the great yearnors, aren't you? And I like that a lot, a lot of yearning. One of great, great yearnors. Look, I just, sorry to interrupt, that's my felt. That was rude. I don't know why you couldn't have just played another song. Well, let's just, maybe you could have had your Bridgeton conversation somewhere else other than 15 seconds before we have to go on air.

That's a fair, valid point. But that's not how it happened. And I was enjoying learning about her thoughts. Her yearn. Her yearn on Sophie and Benedict. The best part about having this job with all the buttons is that as soon as that light, that button, the light goes red that says everyone shuts up. We've got to respect the on air. You got to respect the on air.

That's the basic foundation of radio. You respect the on air. Well, Babs was coming and talking about what we're going to talk about next, and then you hijacked it for Bridgeton. I did, because there's no one else to talk about it with. My husband's not into it. My daughter's too young. You two aren't into it. I couldn't care.

Babs is my Bridgeton babe. Shigerg I couldn't care. You definitely wouldn't be a Bridgeton type of guy. No. But it's funny because he'll sit three and a half hours to watch the Australian Open men's final yesterday. That's more exciting. And not even understand the rules. You'd enjoy Bridgeton more.

I think I would. So much more exciting. But there's so much yearning. Oh, do you like to yearn as well? No, not at all. You've been watching your filthy hockey show. I reckon you might enjoy Bridgetton as well. It's not...

It is not filthy hockey. It is a queer love story. Thank you. Yeah, with lots of yearning. Lots of yearning. I do yearn a little bit. You are yearning a lot about heated rivalry. It's Year of the yearn.

It's Year of the year. I like that. We should get that tattooed. Year of the year. Year of the year. Year of the year. So if you're yearning for Alpha Box, we've got your car.

If you're yearning for a cruise, we got your cover. We got your honkin. We got your honkin sometime before 9 a.m. So, Babs, are you coming in to yearn with us? Yeah, can we just talk about? Do you want to scrap what you were going to talk about and just keep talking about Sophie and Benedict? I mean, if you want, I can. No.

I've been here longer. You listen to me. Yeah, I will. Well, whatever we're doing, we're yearning next. The Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. Would you say Jess and the ruiner? No, you wouldn't, actually.

I might. And someone named Carl Sanderland's might. And it's funny because he joins the show just up to 8.30 this morning. An old colleague of yours who slid into the DM saying, you know, I used to call him the ruiner. Colleague, boss. We will ask about that. My point of trauma.

But before we get to him, sweet babes, unfortunately I got voted down. We can't keep talking about the year of yearning and Bridgeton season four, sweetheart. It's okay. Well, first Rowan should put your mic on. Ruin'er! It was on! Ruin'er! What should we talk about this morning instead of Benedict?

A new challenge that's going around on TikTok. I don't know how I'm going to justify this one, but I will try. Okay. It's called the A Thousand Nose Rejection Challenge. So it's just, it's not a life day and a life of Babs. It's actual challenge. No, it's an actual challenge of people are doing on TikTok. Cool.

So basically, people are people. People online are on a mission to hear a thousand nose to boost their confidence. So it's kind of practicing rejection therapy. And they're trying to put themselves out there in hopes that something will land, even if they do get rejected. This is a great challenge. I think everyone should chase the nose. I think I saw one of these.

I didn't realize it was under this banner. And it was a woman going up to the flight attendant on a plane saying, can I make an announcement on the PA? But she said yes. So she had to then get on that little phone thing. and say, good morning, everyone. Insane. You can't.

You can't say that. Imagine you can't let someone on the plane. She could have done that. Like, what's crazy from the flight attendant? Yeah, that is pretty crazy. But people are taking it to dating, especially, and to jobs more so, so career. Kind of applying for jobs that they don't really have the experience, but just hoping that maybe someone will, you know, give a chance. Do you mean treat a job application like a man would?

Yes. Just go for it, even if you're underqualified. Am I right, ladies? No comment. That was actually a stat. In this article, there you go. It says study shows that men are more likely to apply for jobs when they only meet 60% of the qualifications. All about gender.

Women must feel like they do 100. All about gender. That's what the data. It's on the sheet. Are you arguing with the sheet? It's on the sheet. It's on the sheet. You wrote.

I didn't write it. I just copied and paste it. Put it on the Jess and Rowan template. Which makes it fact. Yes. Thank you. Hey, you wouldn't let us talk about Bridgeton. Let her talk about the thousand numbers.

Hey, you were doing the bridges and stuff. Off air. And leave it off air. I'm going to keep going. A thousand no. So things like apply for that job. Ask that guy out. Yeah.

And, you know, if they say no, well, they say no, you know, you keep going. I think it's horrifying. I saw a similar thing to this where they were like, they were like, just say no, no, no, reject rejection. One of the popular ones was ask for your coffee for free. Can I have this for free? Oh. We can't be doing that. I don't do that.

People go. They go. Can't get this one for free. I could never. Because the point is to, you should go try it now. Is there they open now? No, see, you and I couldn't do it. No, you could do it.

I got a panel. No, no, what I'm saying is you and I having a level of. What? Notoriety. I've been there for a week, mate. I'm fine. Okay, maybe me. People will think I'm getting too big for my boots and now start asking for,

no. I don't want to have that reputation. Babe, babe, you have an $80,000 of BMW that. You're a brand ambassador. I guess I got that. What are we talking about? What are we talking about? What are we doing?

What are we doing? What are we doing? How brazen to ask the 15 year old barista, hey, can I have this for free? And then she goes, okay, because she's nervous. I sound like such a wanker, but she's nervous because it's me. She says, yes, gets fired in the next hour because her boss finds out she's giving out free coffees. At McDonald's, you're getting a no. They're not giving you for free.

Maybe down, just down in the car, be like, hey, listen. And by the way, when they're doing this. no challenge. It was never like make it up. It was literally like no. You have to be like can I have this free? Can I be like oh I've left my wallet and I can't oh my God it's Can I get you back later? None of that. Just straight

up and ask. Yeah, can I get this one for free? What do you reckon? But the idea you're right Babbs, it is horrifying because it's like death by a thousand cuts. I don't want to be rejected a thousand times just to build my self-confidence. I will be shattered. Are you doing it, Babs? No, heck no. I can not do that. There's her

first no. Well done. No, that's right. This is Jess and Rowan. Have you enjoyed working with me the past week and a bit? Yeah, it's been good. It's really good. I've enjoyed our friendship over these last 10 years. Yeah, that's fair.

Nearly all came to an end, Friday night, Rowan. Really? Friday night. What are we doing Friday night? I was monitoring my daughter in the tub because sometimes she likes to have a bath. We don't have a bath in the apartment we're living in. So we found an old tub, like a storage tub. We feel that with.

and she has a little splash around. Good on her. She's little. Makes sense? I thought I was having a heart attack. Why? In the tub? She's in the tub?

You're outside the tub. I'm sitting in the on suite floor, just watching her, making sure she doesn't dunk her head. Just stimmer. And I get this pain emanate from my heart through my chest. I'm genuinely not joking. She's so crude. God, couldn't have been love.

I'm not sure, but I've never, well, that's sad. I've never felt this feeling before. I freaked out. Okay. Now, it could be psychosomatic, but I swear once the chest pain happened, then the left arm happened. Oh, stroke stuff. And if Hollywood is to be believed, and I'm pretty sure this is factual. Yes.

Left arm issue. Because heart decides. Yeah. I am alone. So I rip Lucia out of the tub. Call my husband. If I'm about to have a heart attack, she can't be in the tub. That could be disastrous if I'm about to go.

Yeah, yeah. Ripper out of the tub, much to her distress. She got to be so angry. Jump on the phone, call my husband. Where are, he goes, juicy. You know what he calls me? I say, where are you? I think I'm having a heart attack.

Okay. And he picked up the vibe in the silly Jess. This is, I'm freaking out, Jayce. He goes, I'm 60 seconds away. Thank God. Angus, 60 seconds away, Harper. He was there within 45. Oh, on brand.

And by that point, the pain had dissipated. So what was it? I don't know. But I then, Rowan, I'm trying to like calm myself down because I was panicking, yeah? Yeah. So I, Rowan,

Angus runs in. Yep. Are you okay? And I went, yeah, the pain is gone. And? And I say, but I swear back, and I'm having a bit of,

I guess, lightness in my voice because I'm trying to calm myself. I'm trying to fake it. It's light. It's not a big deal. You weren't faking the heart attack, right?

No, that pain was legit. But I'm now going, oh my God, babe, I swear. My arm even started to go. Now, because I'm giggling, he giggles, thinking maybe, oh, you're admitting to being a bit dramatic. Yeah, you are. And because he goes, oh, yeah, your arm, I lost it.

And I went, don't you not take it seriously? What? He goes, whoa, whoa, aren't we laughing about it? I bet I can laugh about it. You've got to take it seriously. He goes, all right. You're such a nightmare, man. Everyone take a beat.

Let's put Lucia back in the tub. So would you... You go have a lie down. You have a lie down? So I went and had a lie down because him giggling and matching my jovial energy, unacceptable. What's he supposed to come in and scream? Well, I needed him to go into first aid mode and take everything seriously.

Lie on your back. I can joke. Mouth to mouth. That's always nice. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes. 13, 1060.

If you want to play Alpha bucks for $10,000, You call us now 13, 1060. We had a glitch in the phones. We had a whole bunch of calls there, and it all went away all of a sudden. So either Babs accidentally... Has it Babs accidentally hit the clear-all? Maybe Babs has gone. Ooh, pick all up as like a shortcut to get into it.

Because I would like, that's smart, you know? That is smart. And give a bulk, Jess and Rowan, please hold. It's the AI agents. She's got AI agents in the phone box. Is that what it is Babby? Yeah, she's talking. Between the 40-hour work week, she...

allegedly does. And having to feel the hundreds of calls we get. The other issue, Roe, Ro, I get it. First day back at school, she's excited. She's like, there's a lot going on. Yep. I've been learning about AI agents, all this stuff. How can I better help me help you?

Reese, good morning. Hello, Reese. Morning, guys, how are you? Fantastic, Reese. How are you? Reese ain't. This is my good luck now. Absolutely, because once we do the clear

and the floodgates reopen, You were the first little fishyy to swim through. So well done. What is motivating you this morning? What do you want to spend $10,000 on? Well, this yucky weather, I think I'd rather be out of the country somewhere. Amen. Okay.

Where are you thinking? Um, look, with 10 Gs, I could probably go to Greece and not the typical barley. Good idea. Okay. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. Well, that is great. But it is funny you mentioned Bali.

Because your letter is B, baby. You know what, Jess, you don't get enough credit. You do that very well, that segue. You don't get enough credit. Because you know, I don't know what they're going to say. I have to do it on the fly. And it's so quick, I'll give you credit for that. Well, Ron, I've been doing that for 10 years and no co-host of mine has ever acknowledged it.

Well, I'm just different and maybe better. Rowan, you are in so many ways. Rees, good morning. We are ready to rock. Are you? Yeah, I'm ready, guys. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter B. We need you to name.

A sea creature. A beauty brand. Fabilon. An international city. Brazil. Something in the shed. Babe. A musical.

Babe. A girl's name. Bridget. A currency. A currency. Of. That's a tough. I don't know if we've ever asked currency.

Reese, you had some toughies in there, babe. I reckon you got... I've got one here. A couple of there weren't great. I mean... They were good answers. I mean, answers. We're not doing Brazil, are we?

Well, that's a country. We ask for city, I'm sorry, Ruth. Beauty brand. What did you say Babylon? Did you say Babylon? Now, I've not heard of Babylon. You've made that up, haven't you? Yeah, I've never heard of it as well.

Okay, that's a note. Thanks for admitting it. We could have had Bondi-Sands, you know, that's the type of vibe. Sea creature, blue whale. Someone on this sheet wrote blobfish. Have you seen a blobfish? Who's picking up a blobfish? No, they are horrific creatures.

Babs is smiling at me like she's picked up blobfish for sure. Oh, yeah. I was the one that wrote it on the sheet. Yeah, they got the weird nose. I don't know if Babe is a musical. No, I wouldn't say. There might be songs in Babe. I think he does a la la la.

Pigs may fly. I don't know if they sing. It's not a musical. Okay, not a musical. Yeah, man. I only got one, dude. Thanks for playing, though. Thank you for joining the show, Rhys.

Thanks, guys. Have a good day. You too, legend. Next, we are talking dates. And I'll be honest, something that I think is probably a given. I thought we were all doing. Wow. I thought everyone was doing it.

We have opinions, but you and I are not single Rowan. No. So we're going to get a temperature check from the team. Talk about it next. Jess and Rowan, morning. This is Jess and Rowan. I want to know about dating etiquette. Yeah.

Because you and I have both seen this story. We've been talking about it going, isn't this stock stands? But maybe it was stock standard in our day. Yeah. But now etiquette has gone out the window. A young Australian woman by the name of Christy, she's on the dating circuit, Rowland. Got on your Christy. And she's saying etiquette has gone out the window.

The past couple of fellas that she has been planning to go on a date with have failed to give her the confirmation text. Interesting. I wonder whether or not her standards are too high. But listen, the confirmation text is. The bare frickin' minimum. The bare freaking minimum. Now, I understand, and that's why I'd love to get the text line out there, if you say, we planned the date on Monday to see each other at 6 o'clock Friday.

That's not a lot of time. Yep, no. And you assume, I don't want to bug you. We said 6 o'clock Friday at 6 o'clock Friday. Whereas Christy is saying, it is courteous, it's kind, the night before, even the day of. Hey, see you at 6. You just would do it. I mean, I do understand you going like, oh, we work.

it out, we give it a time. All right, see you there, bang, see you there. But just, why wouldn't you go, hey. So looking forward to it. Hey, do you want me to pick you up? Make up an excuse maybe to text. People are saying, people are commenting on Christy's original conversation saying, I don't go if I don't get a confirmation text.

One of her friends has said, if we made the date for Friday at 6 and I get no confirmation text, I'm making other plans or I'm not rocking up. And then it's actually it's other person's at fault because then there's no confirmation text, they'll turn up by themselves. But then they'll be like, oh, I got stood up. There was no confirmation text. Babs, you've got a lot of ladies, a lot of gal pals. I do, yeah.

On the single circuit, what say you? I have a particular friend that is very, like, the confirmation text, very important to them. If they don't hear from them even during the week at all, no, you're done. They won't go. Now, to that point, now I know your friend isn't in the room. Yes. But, shy guy. Where do we stand?

shy guy. Where do we stand? We're not dating. No, you're the friend. You're the friend. In this example. Where do we stand though, guys? Good. You're quick to say that. All right. Should I go? I went to how you really feel. Where do we stand on us taking a little bit of responsibility?

To the Christies and the friends of Babses, could we not send the confirmation text? I'm agreed with that too. You know what I'm saying? Because the confirmation text is a mask. I'm not saying who has to do it. It is not a gender role. If you have to do it and you don't like doing it, it can be a little red-ed. next to them, you can hold it against them.

Sure. But if you're not going to do it yourself, then I don't know if we can be shutting down the whole day. It's not just all up to one side of the party. I know, but I don't know. My friend is also very particular that the male has to plan the whole date as well. The male. Here you go against. No, no, that's just where we're on.

That's just what her thing is. Does the male also have to pay? Yes. All out. There we go. There's a lot on. So what's she bringing to the equation? A good time.

Oh, okay. This is Jess and Rowan. I underestimated how quickly my husband needed to jump when his mummy and daddy said, Nija. They were picking grapes on the vineyard yesterday. The grapes are important. So I'd booked in a meeting. You know, I'm a celebrant on the side.

I'd booked in a meeting with one of my wonderful couples. But then Angus says, I've got to go pick grapes. I said, hang on a minute. I can't take the two-year-old to my meeting, a bit unprofessional. And you probably come. can't take the sweet angel grape picking, because let's be real, she doesn't know what hard labour is. And she will just be distracting. She'll be furious.

So what do I do, shy guy? I go, who's going to come to my rescue? Uncle Ro Roe. I'm happy to help. Also, I've been saying for a long time, if you ever need help, just give a cell. A long time. And I'll be honest. Part of me went, he's just saying that to be nice.

No, no, I'll do it. So I tested it. She likes me. And I must say, she, does like you. I was a bit nervous shy guy because when they arrived, it was all hunky-dory. Love Roro. But then I had to explain to Lucci out, mum, he's got to go to a meeting. And she went,

no, no meeting. No meeting. I went, yes, meeting. They're waiting for me. You're going to play with Uncle Roro and Auntie Lucy. Was a little bit nervous. No meeting. Because out of Rowan's mouth, they've been there for two seconds. He goes, should we put a movie on? I went, look,

you've been here for less than a minute. Can we just maybe play with one of the toys? I would prefer maybe not screens, but there's other activities we could do. I said, look, if worse comes the worst, by all means, Moana. It's Moana. We're going to put Moana on.

There's learnings in Moana, but if you could just try, I'd really appreciate it. And Lucy very quickly went, there's plenty of toys here. I went, I can't pick it up. We put them down. Yes.

It was very fun. She's so lovely. A few things she said to me. Talk to me. Quite interesting. So now, so obviously I've known Lucia since she was. Well, since conception.

Since conception. I was there. I saw it. Oh, it didn't happen. It was Jan 29, 20, 2020. Oh my God, I was there. No. So, I have known this child forever.

Yeah. Every time I see her a lot. Every time I see her, she's like a little bit more chatty. A little bit more chatty. Last year, didn't chat at all. No. This year. Oh, she didn't have any language last year.

No, but this year, she's got all the language and loves to tell you all about it. What she say to me? Oh, she wanted me to introduce me to her dolls and things. That's right. She's like, she's, and like, we go, who's this, who's this? So she points at like a bear and goes, that's big girl. Which I've never heard that name for that bear. What did you call it?

To be honest, I actually tried to throw that bear away. Well, that's big girl. Yeah, that's big girl. So I think we've just named her because she tried to get rid of it. There was another one there that didn't have any pants on. And I went, what's that one? And she goes, girlie. And I was like, okay, now it's girly.

To be fair, that one is called girl. And then we went, who's this? And she goes, Goya. And we go, Goya. That's an amazing, that. Lucy's like, wow. Like, Lucy's like, what an impressive child? Goya.

And we go, where's Goya? Where's Goya? We get to play with Goya. Jess gets home. Oh, that's Gloria. It's Gloria. It's the one we bought in Italy when we lost Flavia. So she said, but I love that you leaned into Goya.

Goya, Goya forever. So what I'm hearing is we need to work on Lucia's L. Yeah, L, L, for sure. Yep. She kept going, we go to meeting? It's like, no, we're having our own meeting. We've got a meeting here. This is our meeting.

We've got our own meeting here. Yes. And she goes, I can't Pat Pattington with colour. She's scribbling on her hands. And I was like, Pat Pattinson, I can't with colour. And she said it to me five times. Oh my gosh, she's so cute. I heard you babe.

I get it. No colour. Go wash your hands. I know there was another thing you played Rowan. You played doctors. And I was lying on the grass. She got her a doctor bag that had all the medicine. And I was going, like, imagine like a dead cockroach on the ground.

going, please help me. Ah, Lucia, please help me. Dr. Lucia. She was going, no. So I asked her about the doctor situation that night. All right. I said, how was it playing with Uncle Roro? Now, I can decipher the two-year-old speak if you're not around a two-year-old,

but this is what Lucia had to say. I was a doctor for Uncle Rowan. But I couldn't fix it. But I couldn't fix him. I could go. Help me. She's going, I'm not qualified. And she goes, I can't fix you.

I was like, what? Lucy goes, I'm again, babe, don't worry about it. I went, help me. So I was looking at this child like, she was my last resort. The method acting from you. I was going, sounds amazing. Please help me. I must be helped.

And she was just getting one step closer. And she'd go, I can't help you. And then she got this close to my face. She goes, I can't help you. And then walks off and goes, Paddington. That's patting, padding. like it's a cat. Paddington maybe can be helped. But, Uncle Rowan, you are a lost cause. And then I stood up and went, okay. And then I took my hat off. She goes, fix you? So it's just my

hat. Didn't like my hat. That is in your control. That's my fault. Remove your own hat. Dr. Lutea to the rest of you. She's saying anything else. Just like couldn't fix him. Couldn't fix him. Oh my God. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan. One of our favourite games from the past couple of years. We have resuscitated it. Yes. Brought it back.

Haven't even given it a glow-up. That's the same name and same opener. Right. So Rowan, the premise, Sweet Babs has come in as I'm going to call her Quizmaster. Oh, yes. Hello. I guess Wordmaster. She is going to give us a word.

Yep. An everyday English word. You've never given us another language, haven't? You never said Despacito, I guess. And we're going to have to sing a word. a song that has that word as a part of its lyrics. Okay, so maybe you three can play first. I'll see how it goes.

You want to, well, why don't you throw your hat in the ring? I'll throw a hat in the ring. I've done an easy word for the first one because I thought just to warm you a while. I'm not okay. No, just to understand. Can you reprimand her off the shape? No. Okay.

I'm doing a great job. Oh, that's a nice thing you've ever said. What she got on you? What's something's happened? She's got nothing on me. Oh, okay. She's actually messed something up, but that's okay. We'll talk about that later.

Oh, okay. Oh, no. It's not true. Okay. Practice rounds. Right. First word. This is your practice.

Yep. Perfect. Perfect. Tonight. That's an Ed Sheridan. Yeah. That now. Would you like to critique?

No, no, no. He's wrong. No, no. You're not wrong. You're not wrong. But not enough. Yeah, you need to keep going. You need to prove that you, you know.

But that's good. That was good. That's the end of a chorus. So you want me to go from end of chorus. to niche verse? Well, no, just the line leading up. Yeah. You could have to start with the line leading up.

You don't have to start with the word. Yeah, you don't have to go straight into the line. Okay, all right. So you could have, for example, if it was perfect, you could have said, you look so perfect soon and then. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that's a good one. Okay. Flag on the play, we push forward.

All right. Flag on the play, but also I want to put it out there, just re-establishing. I was right. Babs is the final line. There will be no arguing with the hump. It's A-O rules. You do not argue. with the arm. Can you move away from Jess a little bit so she doesn't have to pinch you on the

on the hint to give her the win? No, no hands to myself. Look, my hands behind my back. Yeah. Okay, good. All right, new one. Let's go, for real zies. Okay.

The word is, little. Ooh, just a little bit hot. Just a little bit. Nice. In the little bit. Point to Jess. What a song. Good one.

All right. Next one. That's how you play. Yes. Good example. No, good. I got that. Thank you.

That's how you play. So I guys, your mic on? Tits on. Can you go outside just for a quick lap? Because I don't know. I appreciate the attitude. All right. Man.

Man, I feel like a woman. I wanted to say that. But you didn't. See, the game is to say it. This is looking a little... Familiar. Yeah. Familiar.

I think I've been here before. Next word is, step. Step. Oh. That's all that is. Yeah. Yeah. Nice.

I don't know if I did enough, but that's okay. Give me that one. Just give me one. Just give me one. All right. Jess is on two. Rowan on one, shy guy. Zero. He's your mic working. It's working. Half a second off step by step. No, you weren't, mate. Yes, I was. By Jordan Sparks. One second at a time.

No. All right. Next word is young. Young hearts, run free. Never be hunger. Hunger like my man and me. She win? Keep going. It's all right. I got some words.

Okay. One more. Perhaps some words. Don't use them all today? Jess, yeah, if Jess gets the next one, everyone's out. Rowan, you still have a chance, though. Come on, let's get on the board. He's on one.

I'm on the board. I'm trying to be... I got to get it on the board. Yeah. Shall I right, just quickly. Chris check your mic's weapon. Yeah, funny. Oh, is it?

I'll pull Warren on the desk. I've done it before. He will shut these whole thing down. That was an accident. Last word. Last word. Is, look. What?

Are you guys out of word? She looks so perfect. Oh, look. Look. Look. Oh, that's S. Look. Look.

Look at me. Look at you. Look. Look at you. Look what you made me do. Oh. Oh. Taylor.

Really good to turn your microphone on. Yeah. Good. Damn it. I could have ended that bad. So Jess has one. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Cool. Yeah. See. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool. Woo. Thank you, Buzz. Let's celebrate each other. That's a fun game. Do you like that game? We'll plan again next week. You weren't as bad as I thought you'd be.

Thank you, shy guy. Microphone on, Babs. Well done. Thank you. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, you heard her right. $10,000.

7 o'clock and 8 o'clock. We're in the 8 o'clock. We're going to do $10,000. I'm getting real fangy for some $10,000, Jess. And I love that hunger from you. I'm real hungry, actually. I haven't a toast yet.

But you've done what you can do, and that was open the phone lines. Yep, they're open. The rest. is up to Brookie Chook. Oh, Brooke Chook! Oh, hello. Brokey.

Good morning to you. That is my nickname, Chook. Ah, Brooke Chook. I knew, I was vibing you out. I could feel your energy. They call her the chook. They call her the chook. Brooky chook.

And don't worry, I'm going to win the 10 grand today. Thank you. Thank God. About time. Someone did. That's about time. Someone believed in themselves. Totally.

You've got to believe. It all starts with the whole. Hope. Yeah. Then the action. Brooke, what is motivating you today? What are you going to spend the 10G on? Oh, well, I said I would look after myself first, maybe a little pampering at a day spa or something.

You deserve it. Then I'd treat the kids, you know, that otherwise I'll get cranky with me. I love that. Plump the feathers, wash the wings. I love that. Maybe a treat could be a little gift. Maybe a treat could be a trip to the Gold Coast. Oh, my God.

Your letter is G, Brooke. Oh, see. Your time. The Gold Coast would be great. Wouldn't it? Because that's a treat for the whole family. Right. Good girl.

Brooke. G, baby. Are you ready to rock? Yep, let's do it. Your time will start after the first question, starting with the letter G. Yep. We need you to name a bird. A gazette.

A film. A great gatsy. An ice cream flavour. A grape. A beauty brand. Oh my gosh. A non-alcoholic drink. Grape, too.

A board game. A phone app. No. That was terrible. It's a lot of it. It's tough. It's a clicking. the clock.

You know, you're also trying not to lay too many eggs at the same time while you're doing it, Bookchuk. It's hard. G is a hard one. You don't see G. G. You don't see G. Gap often.

Maybe for that reason. Should we have some learnings wrong? Yes. Bird could have had glass. You said gazelle. You said gazelle. You said gazelle, which is like an antelopey thing. That's an antelope thing.

Yeah. Film, gone girl, ghosts, maybe. You did say ice cream flavor, grape ice cream. I've never seen it, but you could do it. I'm sure. I once had Red Bull ice cream. It's a whole bunch of stuff. Red, red,

Ice cream. Did it give you the Garana hit? Did you have some energy from the Red Bull Ice cream? You and the lettuce, man. Me and the lettuce. Beauty brand, Garnia, glossier, non-alcoholic drink. You said grape juice. Did you mean wine? Yeah. I don't think you're right.

You could juice a grape. Oh, yeah, it's right. Yeah, but you make wine out of it. Board game, guess who? Phone app, Google Maps. So you paid grape for ice cream. She didn't get zero. Got one. All right.

Well, Brooke, you were a delight. No one can take that away from you. Absolutely. But you'll have to treat yourself out of your own dollar, okay? Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Yeah, okay.

All right. Now, a bit of fun. Everyone's going to. What's going on? There's so much happening today. We've not even mentioned. We have not even mentioned. We are doing a fun little music feature for the 8 o'clock hour.

It's back to school for so many. In fact, I think everybody by now. Everyone's back to school. Somewhere late last week. Ow. We're doing high school hits for the rest of the show. Started off with Shania Twain. That don't impress me much.

It's Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. My friend. Our friend, Rowan, Mrs Juggs. Now I'm Mrs Juggs. I don't know. You do. Lady Gat you.

Yeah, that might, checks out. Mrs Jugs. She realized she's been doing something wrong. whole life. All right, what's that? We had a girls weekend. We had a sleepover the other day. You are getting a lot of content out of this girls weekend.

Go you. I am. It's basically made the whole weekend tax deductible. Why would you ever go away with Jess? Because, you know, she's like ducked away to text. I know she's writing down notes. Oh, it's not even I've ducked away. I say to the group, writing that down.

That's why I don't think this will be a surprise for Mrs. Jugs. Why are we called a Jugs? What do you think? That's what I thought. So we're all having Priseco. Yeah. I think the hostess was cooking. our dinner ravioli. It's about 10.45

at night, well, by the time we got dinner started. Okay, yeah. But Mrs. Juggs creeps around the island bench to whisper in our host's ear. Yeah. Something. But obviously, if you're having secret squirrels at a girls' weekend, we're all going to stop down. What are you talking about? Yep. Why aren't you bringing us all in this conversation?

Oh, Jugs? And that was me. I said, hey, what are you guys whispering about? Because I'm nosy. You are. I'm a bit nosy. And Mrs Juggs turns to the group and says, oh, if you must know, I'm just clarifying. that I can flush my tampon down the toilet.

I don't think you're allowed to do that, I? Rowan. You're not allowed to do that. How long have you had your period for? Right now, six days? I'm in the middle of it. Never is what I'm saying. You're not allowed to.

And you know that. And I don't know anything about the menstrual cycle. Mrs. Juggs was clarifying with our host, who I want to add, has just bought this place and renovated it. It is sublime. It's ridiculous. Clarifying if she could flush. That suggests to me, she's not clarifying.

She's asking for permission because she knows it's wrong. This is our issue. So basically, I dropped my Prosecco glass, shattered. I was shocked. I went, you do it as well? What do you mean? Why did you need to ask that? And our host, Bonnie, goes, it's fine.

Yes, she can. No, it's not, Bonn. Sorry, what? There's five of us around the island bench having Prosecco. Two of the girls saying, what are you talking about? It's fine. The other three of us, you're on the floor.

Can't be fine. You cannot be flushing anything down the toilet other than, of course, you don't have the time. No. Definitely have the time of show I got. But Mrs. Juggs went on. She was back in herself and she goes, no, no, you can't flush if you're on tank water.

I said, no. It's got nothing to do with tank. Put it in the bin. Because the issue was back in the day, now I don't know how much detail I clarified I could do. But she clogged her dad's tank from doing the flushing. The same thing. Plumbers had to come out and told her you can't be doing this.

You have to, I call her Mrs. Clugs. Clugs. Oh, Mrs. Clogs over here. Mrs. Clog. So she thought that meant tanks will be affected, but the otherwise sewerage system that more houses are on will be fine. And we had to say, no. Baby braid is real.

No deal. Grant Denia popped up. No deal. Compost or something. Even that's worth it. So for her whole life, been flushing tamps. That's insane. That is wrong.

That's insane. So maybe you're hearing this. This is just a public service. If you're like Mrs. Juggs, you cannot be doing that nonsense. You absolutely cannot be. I feel like most people knew that. Mrs Jugs did that. And she's one of the switched on.

You might be out there. She's one of the most switched on women I know. She is clever. She got a finger on the pole. She's successful. How did she not know that? No, no, no. She knew that and decided she didn't care anyway.

She didn't. She just thought it was tanks. So 13-1060. Yep. What have you been doing wrong your whole life? Something. Something. Maybe it was a friend who flagged it.

Maybe it was a parent, colleague. Take your calls next. This is Jess and Rowan. What have you been getting wrong your whole life? Yeah, what is? Something. And look, might be a bit dramatic saying whole life there. Take a couple of years.

Like my friend Mrs Juggs. Juggs-E! Who at 34 has only just clarified with her gal pals, me being one, you cannot flush a tampon. It's insane. You can't do that. Even Rowan knew Mrs Juggs.

That's the embarrassing thing. If Rowan knew. Okay, well, I'm not dumb. Are you calling Mrs Jugg's dumb? She just didn't know. She did know. She absolutely knew. She did.

And you know what killed me, Rowan? I'm making a song and dance. Oh, I was embarrassing her. And now I've doubled down by doing it on the radio. She did know because she was clarifying. She just did it. She didn't know. She chatted in front of me and then goes,

ooh, chat GPT said no. Why is that now cutting through? But Jay Farch carrying on isn't. One of the great carriers. You can't be doing that. Been doing it wrong her whole life. Okay. Emma, good morning.

Morning. Hey guys. What have you been getting wrong? for a long time. So my mum, when growing up, she'd asked to defrost the chicken or defrost something for dinner. But she wouldn't say that. She would say, can you lift the chicken? So for our whole lives, my sister and I, we just thought that lifting the chicken was what you called defrosting it.

So, yeah, our whole lives we've just been saying lift the chicken. Lift the chicken. So at what scenario and what age were you that you learnt the word defrost? No, like honestly, not until 27 did we realise that lifting wasn't defrosting. Where'd she get lifting from? What's lifting the chicken? I have no idea. Like, for the background, she is half Italian.

So she, like, she grew up speaking Italian. So I guess she can have a part. Okay, so maybe in translation. Maybe. Whatever. I haven't got to that on my duolingo. Emma. I don't know what de-frost is in Italian. Maybe it sounds a little like lift once you've translated it. Maybe.

Lifting the chicken. Report back, please. I quite like lifting the chicken. Yep. It just feels like you're elevating the chook before you're roasted. But then you get someone to go, uh, is this good? It's still frozen. You haven't de-frosted. Kelly, good morning. Hey, Kelly, good morning. Good morning, guys. Morning. Morning. My mom's going to eat you here. Good morning. Babe, it's wonderful to have you on the show. Tell me, what are you been getting wrong, your whole freaking life.

I'm going to blow your mind. I mean, blow it. So, you know how you buy scissors because you need scissors, but they're in a plastic that spoof it where you can't open it. Oh my God, Kelly, I've seen this. You see it on TikTok? Oh, my God, TikTok. You squeeze it

and it opens it. Now, I bought it. What? See it? Hang on, Kelly. Back it up. You and Rowan are speaking the same language, but shy guy and I are lost. So when you get the scissors, or even any sharp implement, right, it's in that impenetrable I don't even say some toothbrush. It's like it's gelled all the way right for the end.

Yes. So you grab both your hands. Get it on the outside of it. Squeeze it and open. It pops open. So squeeze the plastic packaging. Yeah. So you grab by the side and you just squeeze and then they pop open. It's crazy.

It is. It blew like I bought a pack. I've got scissors, but I bought it just for see. Kelly, because you're right, you buy something like that to have scissors in your house. But you go, I need scissors just to get into this package of scissors. But it's any plastic like Ayn, she's on TikTok and Instagram, whatever. She's given credit, good. Okay.

I bought some stuff at Bunnings the other day. I had that packaging and I had to fight the scissors. And then I nearly cut my finger. Yes. Exactly. So you just got to push. Kelly, thank you for the education. Kelly, are you flashing your tampons at the toilet?

Never. This is Jess and Rowan. Carl Sandalens is used to causing shockwaves on radio. Sandy Land. Radio host, South Sandalad. Kyle! Hey, guys, I've already chastised Channel 7 for being three minutes late. Well, thank you for doing it. Thank you so much.

It wouldn't hit us hard if we did it, Kyle. We appreciate you. Batten in for us. No problem. My pleasure. Great to talk to you again, mate. How are you? Yeah, mate, we're good.

The whole idle thing, like we've already pre-recorded a lot of the auditions and stuff. So that'll roll out 730. Pretty. And they tell me, I haven't seen, like, Master rang me yet. yesterday. She goes, have you seen the first episode? And I went, no, no. It doesn't start until next week. Oh, I saw an advanced screening. Oh, it's very emotional, very powerful. And I was like, yeah, yeah, well, I watch it with my family as it goes to air. It's like, Carl, what are you saying? Marcia's getting the preview and you're not.

But you choose to watch. I've got the preview. I've got it. I just choose not. I want to watch because you know what it's like when you do what we do, radio and stuff. If you watch stuff in advance, you sort of like two weeks later when everyone else gets to see it you sort of you're in advance of everyone I like to watch things as the viewers watch it so I don't get it all confused yeah it's it's it's just easier for me just to watch TV like a non person that's on the show well yes this is the detriment of the streaming era we're in Kyle no one's watching anything at the same time so I appreciate you're like I'm in control of this situation that's what I miss you know

going to work the next day and all talking about, oh, what happened last night on whatever TV set? Because we're all over the place watching this at our own, at our own sort of device, at our own leisure. There is no more chatting about it. You go, oh, have you watched Landman? No, not yet. Spoilers.

I've got no one to talk to. Yes, or I watched it two months ago. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, I'm all up in Emily and Paris season five. I don't care anymore. Now, Carl, obviously, we are very excited. Australian Idol. It's amazing.

You are one of the judges. back for another big one. However, Rowan has done me a disservice here because he wanted to get straight into the chat with you. Oh, yeah. Sorry. He didn't do his usual fan dangled, come off a song, introduce us, Jess and Rowan. He got to understand, when I first met Rowan, I nicknamed him Rowan the Ruiner. That's what I wanted to get to. He would muck it up and it would be all done wrong. And somehow he's skated, he's Bradbreddit through the life and here he is being the big show. Kyle, he got booted from our industry three years ago and has somehow like a cockroach not died and come risen.

He's Lazarus. I am Lazarus. You must have found some obscure minority group to join where we had to bring you back into the foals. Yeah, Sydney DJs are kicking me out of that too. Yeah, he's the diversity hire, Kyle. I've moved from personality. It's so hard. It's room for all of us.

But yes, Rowan the ruiner. So he went from ruining your show. show, circa 2017. Yeah, long time ago now, yeah, yeah. And nearly a decade later. Now we've been ruining it for all of Newcastle. All of regional New South Wales now, babe. They got the whole state, mate.

Whole state. What are they doing? Oh, the whole state. You look after the cat city. We'll take care of the states. But that's what I wanted to get to. Have you got any words of wisdom? I know you've been through quite a few people who did play Rowan the

ruiners role. But any words of advice on how I handle the great man? Yes. Look, if I could write a handbook, it would have already been in print. But sometimes in the current climate in all corporations, there's a place for everyone and everyone's got to find their place. And I'm glad that he's found a spot with you. Yes.

And I think together a ying and a yang always makes a beautiful logo, don't you think? Oh, we couldn't agree. We do have a great marketing shot, Carl. It's one of my favourite. So, you should say it. Yeah, see, you guys are at that age where you still do marketing shots every year, where Jackie and I haven't done a new one for eight years. I said, look, it's only going to get worse and worse these marketing shots.

Let's stick with what we had a decade ago. Lock me into 2016. Oh, my goodness. Exactly. Well, I'm trying to hope to shed a few more pounds. Maybe we can do a new one next year. Okay. You think about that?

You're trying to like ever get healthier and go, I think I'll look better this year and get some new photos? Oh, my God. The last photo I took was postpartum. I was two weeks after pushing out a kid. He still looks fantastic. How old's your little one now? Two.

She's just gone two. How old's Little Otto? Otto. Otto is, he turned three in August. Oh, three. And let me tell you, they accelerate beyond what you can cope with. You know how they're like just a bit of meat? It's like having a pot roast swadled for the first two years.

Perfect way to describe it. And then all of a sudden, they get a bit of attitude. And then they're asking too many questions. And you're like, oh, I sort of liked it when he didn't talk. And then now he's like a little. human who's like negotiating with me about bedtime and I'm like, how am I negotiating with a three-year-old? Just do as you told. Oh, my God.

I remember, you know, just confiding in some friends. Oh, Lucia's not talking a lot. Lucia's not talking a lot. And all of them with older children said, careful what you wish for. Now she's got a bit of chat, Kyle. And she hits me with the other day trying to change the nappy. No, no, no. I went, we have to.

She goes, mom, I said no. Oh my God, your child's watching Pepper Pig, isn't it? How do you argue with that? That Pepper Pig, as cute as it looks, it teaches them how to say no. Oh, my God. You know, we're trying to do all the consent and body autonomy. I said no. Well, I don't think I can wipe you anymore because you hit me with the batty's the phrase I must respect.

Wipe yourself. Wipe yourself. Otters leaving his toys around. You fall over. Everyone started to say, Kyle, had a fall. Not just fall over anymore. I heard that Rowan. I was mortified.

Like, yes, I didn't fall over. But when you're being mocked and they're like, he's at the age where he doesn't fall over, he has the fall. I was like, pig's ass. That's not true. Have you seen my marketing image? I am fit as a fiddle and gorgeous. I look fantastic.

I look fantastic. That's great. It's lovely to talk to you again, Matt. It's so great to hear your voice down the phone. Thank you too. I'm glad you've resurrected and risen from the ashes. Thank you so much. Let's catch up soon.

I'd love to see both of you. At 7.30 p.m. on 7. and 7 plus Kyle Sandelands. Good luck with it, mate. Great to chat. Thank you guys. Appreciate it. This is Jess and Rowan.

Rapping up our high school hits at 8 a.m. for Jess and Rowan. Eric Pritz, call on me. Doesn't that make you want to do aerobics in a very high-cut leotard? Isn't that the one that, isn't that the one where they do that the busy video is a bunch of kicks

in high-cut leotards? Yeah. Everyone I think has seen that video clip. Well, I guess I see what we're up to. It's a very good song. high school hits. Yep. Hope everyone has a nice first day back at school.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably should already be in class. If you're streaming it right now, I love you. Oh, what a wonderful way to start your day. Your teacher just has a bit of Jess and Rowan playing in the classroom. Oh, be quiet, guys, Jess and I was still on. You and I are of the same ilk, the same era. Yeah.

Do you remember when the teacher would roll in the big TV on the trolley? Awesome. And you knew today's going to be a good day. I'd be texting a chick that does not care about me. Everyone, everyone. everyone would feel that in the modern day if the teacher just had on the little Bose speaker Justin Rowan streaming on the listener at

or just had their car radio really loud from the teacher's car park listen to this guys, it's queen we're giving our code word for live the dream back again tomorrow you guys can live the dream you can I think the 15 minutes might have just finished from when we gave the code word

once the morning we will give you a code word that you then need to submit onto the hit.com.com.com.com website, brand new Subaru Forrester, $20,000 overseas holiday, and $50,000 cash. All you need to do is listen for that code word and then head to the website.

We've said it once. Yep. And as we said, it's expired. Tomorrow. Another code word. All right, see you then from six. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. The Elmaco is back at Maccas. Try the new range today.