Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Screw you Claudia!

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Jess got awkward with a stranger at the park, Reuben Styles zooms in and the producers wrap up the week that was in the diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky Range with Honey Saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everybody. Thanks listening to the podcast. Thank you for following, always supporting. I hope you have a great time listening because we had a great show.

Oh my God, totally. I just want to read a couple of texts that came through. We didn't get to, Rowan. We asked the question, what are you terrified of your toddler finding out? It's like the white lines as a parent just to help you survive. Sure. Someone has said, my team thinks there's a school web portal that I can check his detentions. So she has told the kid, you better tell me before I check the portal.

Don't make me check the portal. There's no portal. That feels traumatic. She's worried about the kid finding that out. Someone has said, I told my child our lube. I guess what the kid found it in the bedside table, is adult moisturiser. It's just for mummy's legs. It's not not.

It's not not. Someone has said, I'm afraid my niece is a nephew's. will work out that my debit card that I try and pay for the stupid claw machines, you know, like, shopping centers and stuff, is just my flyby's card. That's why it doesn't work. So she's tapping the flyby's going, cards not working. This must be broke.

That is a really good one because I can see the act. Little kids, so dumb. Someone has said, That was funny. Someone said, as a child, I was told if I swore my mouth would be washed out with soap. It was never washed out with soap. Did you ever get that? My dad did that to me once.

Like eat the bar or so. Well, yes. And my dad was like not the disciplinarian. So the day he did it was like, holy shit, we've broken dad. Did you do? Put it in your mouth? Swear. My dad's an anti-swearer.

What word was it? Oh, great questions. Shiger. I reckon it was probably just like a shit. What? It wasn't like a C-bomb. Yeah, no, my dad, even to this day, Rowan, if I swear on Instagram story, my dad will text me. Was it necessary?

Was it necessary? Jessica. Yeah, actually. Sorry it was, bro. It was. It's called emphasis. Yeah, emphasis. Pardon me for being a passionate.

lady. I told my four-year-old that when she falls asleep in the car, it grows wings and we get there quicker to encourage her to fall asleep in the car. Good. Good. Good. Love that. That's all happening. They're all great. Thank you for those contributions. Excellent. Well, enjoy the show. Welcome. We've got for Jess and Rowan. In 2026, something new for breakfast. You know, Jess. Don't do I care if you piss on me.

You'll get to know Rowan. Oh, no. Take the Hobbits to Six, Seven. Shut up. Moron. This is going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Anything could happen.

Most of it probably will. That squawking fatty. And Rowan. Ah, you like what I did that. This is Jess and Rowers. This is going to be good. Work. It's over for the week.

Almost. We just got to do a bit of a day. Yep. And then, yeah. Friday's done. Who works on Fridays? Who works on Friday? In my head.

and heart, already the weekend. In my head and heart, I'm already on the plane with a Prosecco in hand, flying with one of my besties to go see the guru Mel Robbins. Where are you in your head and heart? In bed. In bed. Bed. Back to be a little duna monkey.

Hiding away. Hiding away. Laptop on belly watching Homeland. I can't do the laptop in the bed. No, you don't watch. You have a TV in the bedroom? No, I don't. But I could do an iPad maybe, but the laptop is just a bit cumbersome.

That's very fair. My husband has a whole situation because I forbade TV in bed. So he's like, well, I'll have to do the laptop. He's got this pillow system. And then I get really pedantic. I'm like, it's on your genitalia. I don't think that's good for the swimmers. Not that I think I want the swimmers anymore, but still.

It's a whole, mate, it is a whole system. It's a whole system. I don't like to have to do the system. But with the iPad, are you having to hold it? Kind of a Kindle. Just a Kindle. Have you got a little pop top? It's a Kindle for your eyes.

One of those things called, the popper. Yeah, that would be good. That would be good. That would be good. It's like a Kindle for your eyes. Kindle for your eyes while you watch Homeland Season 3. But a nice little Friday treat. Babs has a hair up today.

That's nice. Never seen that before. We love when Babs does a messy bun. And I know she'll say, it's because I haven't washed my hair. I reckon she looks killer in a bun. Yeah, you rock it. That's exactly what I said this morning. Yeah.

Not to me, but I knew. My hair's dirty. Yeah. We gave out some donuts yesterday. the shopping centre the whole time I was just picking on Babbs the whole time. What was she doing to deserve being picked on? I was just in a mood, man.

But it wasn't like, it wasn't rude. It was just like, I tried to tell her how you were actually involved with the mafia and she was like furious. She was like, shut up. Like, you know how they're trying. To be fair to Rowan Babs, he has known me a lot longer, okay? He knows things. Things that are in, maybe the shadows.

As we were walking towards that place, they were redoing the escalator. So there's this huge concrete hole. Oh, wow. I was like, no, no, that's where they put in the body. Absolutely. This place is run by the mafia. Have you ever heard? Have you ever heard of, you know, we put the concrete shoes on, bass?

Yes. That's when you chuck them into the ocean, these things are the modern. Sleeping with the fishes, we like to say. See, we? See what I'm saying? You're scaring me. See? And then we walked off, hey, I'm Babbs.

And this is me at the shopping centre. That was me all day yesterday. To be fair, there was something in the water yesterday. When you're giving out free, gluten-free doughnuton, Donuts, the energy, the vibe. You can see it on our Instagram story, Jess and Rowan. We had a couple of comments because people know you're a big fan. That's why we work with those people because you, you, big fan.

A few people said, Ro Roe must be in heaven. I said yes. I only had one yesterday. You believe it? Your self-control was unbelievable. Oh, my God. Well done, me. I had one all at once.

Yeah. Then we left and as we're walking off, I go, I'd beeline straight, and I go, yes, as I was saying, they get the bodies. And I was like, you're still doing this? So where we left off. So my mind had not left. My whole day and today was like... That tab still open.

My whole mind was like, donuts and that, that, that's, that. Stop revealing my secrets. Sorry, bro, I should have said it. I shouldn't have said it. Anyway, shy guy, how are you? Did you take a little doughy home? Was that your little afternoon trees? One home.

Yeah, me and, oh, two, two? Two. Did you have any plug-ins? No, just playing. Just play. Someone came up and said, can I have five? I went, take six. Hey man, the chick from bras and things came up.

She said, can I get some for the team? I said, how many people work? She goes, well, Thursday, late-night shopping, there'd be 10 of us. I said, take the box. Take them. So, bras and things. Oh, no. Yeah, I gave right.

Well, I thought if there's anyone we want on side, it's brass and things. I'm so cool with that. That's fine by me. I would be. Take two boxes. They had hundreds to give away. People who are slinging lingerie. We're big fans.

Oh, sling the donuts right at them, baby. That's right. And she had a little, I saw on her lanyed, her work Lanyard, team tattas. I like that a lot. Team tattas. Does that mean she's in charge of the tattas? I think she might have been head tata.

She's the head tata. She's Captain Funfax. Captain Lights Switch, as we last week on the show. Oh no, yeah, fair. I don't want to comment on the size of her tattas, but she wasn't know what switches. Yeah, yeah. But she was well-endowed, but she was well-end-doubt. Oh, okay, sure.

She literally was Captain Funbacks. She was Captain Furnbacks. I didn't meet her either. Yeah, no, no. She came. If you ever need a fitting, I said, I appreciate you, Captain Tartas. Just bring your donuts, we'll do it for free. Help.

What's the price of a bra fitting? Bras fitting free. But the hope is that the customer service is so good and you fall in love with the bra. You buy the bra. Okay, pop quiz, how much is a bra on average? 90 bucks. Pretty much bang on. I'm so good at this ship, I'm telling you.

I'm trying. Bang, mate. Although. What's the last bra you bought? I'm wearing it right out? No, I'm not. How about? I knew you were looking supported today.

You've got, yeah, thank you, strong. It's all the chest presses. Hell, yeah. Come on you those honeybirdette sets. No, I find that store a little intimidating. That is no comment on the people who work there. They're so friendly, but that's... Shining.

That shit is sexy. Sexy, age. And I just don't... Every red-blooded male walking past gets a slap from his missus as it walks past. I've told you, Rowan. It's shining me in the eyes. I don't know what I'm looking at. I am a bamboo lady.

Bamboo, full. brief, I bought a bamboo G just because I felt like, have I let this go to the dogs? Like, come on, let's give Angus a little bit of some. Yeah, yeah. I wore that G the other day. I don't know if you noticed, but I was pulling that out of my house. Oh, really? No, I didn't

notice. The whole morning, it was so uncomfortable. Hey, shout out to the bras and things gang over there. Yeah, yeah. Team Tartas, we see you and we hope you enjoy donuts. By the way, Captain Funbags is a compliment. Absolutely it is. We salute you, Captain. And I gave her 10 donuts.

We can't have a go at us now. C. FBs. Captain FBs. Captain, thumbbags. The CFBs. Big show today, guys. Lots of winning. Oh my God.

Do we have time? We barely have time. Cooker of the day. How are we going to fit it all in? Cooker of the day. We're doing that. We're living a dream co-word twice. We've got Alfa Bucks.

Twice. And the great Ruben Stiles, a.k.a. yoga, aka one half of Peking Duck is on the show just before. My gosh. Seven o'clock. It's all happening. Next. And oh man, Chan, you in the gym.

How dare he? We have started very light and fun this morning, Rowan. I'm bringing the mood down next. All right, let's do it. This is Jess and Rowan. Dude at the gym this morning, Rowan. What did he say? I don't know what.

I don't know what he was thinking. And I don't want to laugh and dismiss it, but what can you do other than just shake your head? Said to you. And stare him down. What do you say to you? So I was getting a pump on. All right.

And another bloke at the gym, someone I am friendly with, he goes, Jess, where do you get your energy? Because I must have been doing good work. I actually was feeling a little like, oh, yeah, I'm not really pushing myself, but doing some dead lifts. He goes, where do you get your energy? I thought, geez, he must have noticed I'm doing good. Sure.

I said, oh, babe, I'm just high on life. It's usually my response, you know? That's a be good. And he goes, so you go from doing this workout and then upstairs and do the class. I said what? He goes, don't you finish up here and go upstairs? No. Now upstairs is where they run the classes of a morning. I do go upstairs row, but only to use the bathroom facilities up there. He has seen me do that every day and thought I do a pre-workout and then join the class. He doesn't realize I'm using

the bathroom. And then chuffing off to work because he doesn't see me leave in my full get-up. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I was like, oh, bro, no, no. I just basically have. have to walk through the class to get to that bathroom, shower and then go to work. He goes, oh my God. Now, I've used the word shower and then go to work. Another dude in the gym who was not part of this conversation, but, you know, it's early. There's not many people on the gym floor. Not his conversation, though.

Not his conversation. Thank you for clarifying. He's on a bike halfway across the gym, but I understand my voice carries. I'm relatively loud. He, from the other side of the gym, goes, oh, Jess, can we watch you shower? No, he didn't. Bro.

What is it? Who's this guy? Who is this guy? You've made that up. There's no way. There's no way this random guy has asked you to check you out. You've met him before? Ever spoke to him?

Yeah, we say good morning every morning. Oh, and that's it. That's all. And from hello to, can I get to look at you? Literally heard me just explained to my buddy. What? Oh, no. I finished.

this workout, shower and go to work. He heard the word shower and thought, yep, you know what's a great contribution to this conversation I'm not a part of? Oh, Jess! Can we? We, also the we. We, like the three boys at the gym, and I could tell my mate who I was talking to, he seized up.

Like, do not put me in that conversation. You can't ask that. And I'm trying a new thing, Rowan, a girlfriend of mine, because this happens, unfortunately, a bit. What, the shower stuff? No, just rude comments. But advice I got from a girlfriend, Babs, you can take this forward if you wish. You don't say anything.

You don't laugh. You move on. You don't. No, you stare them down. Oh, the stare. The stair row. And you know me, I'm not confrontational. And I usually have done the giggle off.

Oh, my God. Yeah, you don't do the giggle off. You don't do the giggle off. We don't do the giggle off anymore, ladies. It's not funny. It's not funny. So I literally. went and then put the headphones back on.

And it really annoyed me because I was thinking to the new Hamish and Andy podcast. It was really funny. So I was in a really good mood. He just crashed my mood. Put the headphones back on. Where does he get off? Where does he get off? And then, how's this though? The stare, very effective. Two minutes goes by, if that. Of staring? No, no.

Oh, you just had staring this guy for two minutes. I just like respect to you. I wish. I'll hopefully work up to that. I stared maybe. It felt like 10 seconds. It might have been three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put my headphones. Because remember, he's still across the gym.

We're not... Conversation over. Put my headphones back on, finish up my kettlebell swings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He walks over after maybe two minutes. Right. And goes, Jess, I'm sorry. I'm an old man.

No. Not a dirty old man. Clearly you are. And I said, are you sure about that? Oh, I was so proud of my stuff. You're hit him with this. You're sure. Yeah.

I was really proud of myself. You didn't have a good hard look at yourself. Gerald. Yeah. You're not far off. But I... Really? Yeah.

I don't know his name just like everyone knows. Are you sure about that? And he went, ooh-hoo. And he did the laugh off and went and had a little drink of water. But again, 2026, are we actually, are we actually saying that to women? Are we saying that to anyone? But yeah, I thought the stare, very effective lady. So if you need it, how.

have that in your arsenal. In your back pocket. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. It's not funny. Don't dismiss them. They don't get to get away with that shit in 2026. Stare them down.

So what are you going to do tomorrow? Or not tomorrow, but on Monday when you're at the gym. I was going to say, yeah, I'm not doing it the way. I don't, I don't know. Smile, hello. Yeah, do we, well, do we move forward or do I now go, well, you're going to put him on the grudge list? I could put him on the grudge list. You know what he's on the grudge list.

This is just. There's a new story coming out of the US and calling it Hard Mountain Dew Mani Petty. Mani Petty. So they're doing a Matty Petty with the Hard Mountain Dew. I'm on Jack Dup on Mountain Dew. Hell yeah, brother.

The Big Mountain Dew Day. Wait, what? They are doing a one-day pop-up nail salon in Philadelphia Thursday, April 9, where 21 and over, with fans we went over, can book a free pedicure. Oh, hard Mountain Dew, Alcoholic Mountain. They do all that over there.

They get all the good stuff. It's a drink. I don't understand how it's hard. Oh, it's like the hard solo thing. It's exactly like the hard solo. Understood. I didn't know Mountain Dew had an alcoholic version. I like Mountain Dew.

Yeah. And they're doing it all over the States where it means that the US can get their own pedicure between March 25 and April 9, submit their receipt to hard due manny petty and get reimbursed while supplies last. Why do Mountain Dew care about the health and look? of my toenails. They have a statement. Hard Mountain Dew, as usual, goes where few brands have gone before. And now, that includes pedicures, said Erica Taylor. Erica Taylor wants, hey man, I love a pedicure.

Of all the beauty treatments, if I don't have my toes done, I just don't feel complete. I feel icky. Even though, more often than not, I am wearing socks and shoes. My toes are feral. Have you ever had a pedicure? It's just not. And it doesn't count those fish that eat your dead flesh in by the air. Love that.

Love those fish. That's not a pedicure. Have you ever had a little lady take a file to your heel and get all that dead skin off? I think I did. In Bali, though. I think I had one in Bali, are you in? I don't think it's not, it wouldn't be nice for the ladies. I'm like, it's just. Well, that's the job.

No, I just don't feel good about it. And I would love to see them go, sorry, sir, not touching those. No, no, no. Shy guy, they'd get confused. Sorry, sir, I thought you wanted a pedicure. These are fingers. His toes are so long. You'd probably get charged extra.

Really? I reckon. If I say, Ed, if you get a roll into sandal season, you might as well do it with an ice cold, hard Mountain Dew. In hand, consider this our gift to everyone who's been one flip-flop away from a very uncomfortable conversation. My God, I love this from Mountain Dew. The marketing people going, we could do a billboard. We could do ads on TikTok or we could give out pedicures. You can claim them back.

You can claim them back. We can claim ours. Oh, I'll send them a picture of me having a mountain do whilst getting a pedicure. Just dump and vodka into it, making it hard. Oh, we need hard. You're right. It's hard mountain dew. What do America get all the good stuff?

I love mountain dew. Same. More than a solo. Oh, you're fighting words now. Oh, you like solo. I love a solo. I don't like the hard rated. Yeah.

Keep your alcohol out of my thirst crushing solo. Now they're doing the hard rated orange. But a can of solo. The hard rated orange, which looks like a highlighter. Yeah, that is a little too neon for me, that colour. That can't be good for you. But a solo with a chipped potato. Are you joking?

What's a chipped potato? That's a chip. Oh, okay, it's a chip. Drink responsibly, yes, with a chippetka. And get a pedicure. Wow. Pedicure responsibly. Hard, do you guys can go, I'm not getting it pedic.

I was going to say, we've done the team bonding, Ron. It's not really going to be bad. Giving out ice cream. Yesterday we gave out donuts. Should we do? Give out the pennies. give petties, but we also get one. I want to see with a nice French toe on you.

A French toe. A French toe? A French toe? I don't have got how much. I don't know. I pick and pull it. Oh, it's not nice. You're picking and pulling your toe now.

You're picking and pulling your toe now. Yeah, I'm Adam. Do you flick it out your car window or do you leave it in? Oh, the Jeff Fart Chote. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. $10,000. You can win it.

Getting all 10 questions. Correct. Simple as that, guys. That's right. We had some great momentum yesterday, didn't we row, row? We had an eight. Almost a nine. If you get nine, it's redemption round, by the way, everyone. Mm-hmm. We meet Ian today. Hi, Ian. What about, brother? Hi, how we going? Good, thanks, babe. What do you want our 10 grand for?

I got married in September last year, and on the honeymoon on the first night, I got food poisoning and my wife spent the whole time looking after me, so I want to take her on a second honeymoon. Oh, Ian, where were you on the second honeymoon? Oh, Ian, where were you on that? That honeymoon? Nelson Bay. Nelson Bay.

And would you like to go back to Nelson Bay or are you thinking a different destination completely? I think $10,000 could take us overseas somewhere. You could. You could. You could. Go to go to Kudah. Well, maybe, Ian, you'd like to consider New Zealand. Oh, yeah.

Perhaps Nicaragua? Because these are countries that start with the letter N. And that's what you're going to work with today. Oh, well, ask me some questions with them as the answer. No, no. Sure, Ian. We just had a great text and feedback for you, Babs, who writes the quiz. James Textar saying, hey, the questions seem easier.

Thanks for listening to the feedback, Babs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, Ian, we've had one report. The questions are a bit more getable. Are you ready to rock? I'm more than ready. Let's do it. For the Misso, for the honeymoon redo.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with letter N, we need you to name. A number. Nine. An occupation. Pass. A tennis player. Nicola Jopi?

A pantry item. Um, napkins. An animal. Oh, no. A pass. A six-letter word. A movie. Um.

Ah, drat. Nah, Dress. Sorry. Don't say sorry. Nah, I need an apology. Oh, okay. Sorry. I need an apology. Thank you, Ian.

I accept your apology. Let's do some learnings. One of those days, mate. Occupation, could have nurse. Nail technician. We just talked about pedicures. Oh, yes. What else we could have?

You could have had a numbat for an animal. Love the numbat. Or the narwhal. The ocean's unicorn. Is that a little horn? Okay. Sixth of the word could have a number. Movie.

No country for old men? Yeah, no country. One of the great. Yep. Okay. Three, though. Three for you, sir. Back to Nelson's Bay for a second chance.

That's right, Ian. Thank you for joining the show, though. Thanks, brother. Have a good day, guys. You as well. Oh, that was fun. I can't wait for James, who text us, saying the questions have gotten easier.

I wonder how he feels about that set. Interesting. Did you pay tennis player? What did he say? He did not say? No, no. So I was like, that's no back. Okay, sure.

You're nice. Trouble in the shy guy can next. This is Jess and Rowan. Shy guys had quite the week. Shy guy sends us a text in the wee hours of the evening. Do you want to bring everyone up to speed on what happened to you and why you've sent a group message? Yep.

You good? Yeah, yeah, I'm good. So, long story short, I got locked outside of my house last night. Headline. Headline. Now let's get into it. Last night, I... It's not one of the pillars of this show, long story short.

Make a short story long, should I go? Yeah, you know, anyway. Job the pole. Here we are. So, last night, I was like, oh, the back deck needs a sweep, you know? So. What had accumulated leaves and debris? It's been windy.

So I went outside, got the broom, swept, shut the door because the aircon was on. Door locks behind. Ah, yeah, that's a trick. Because the aircon's on, all the windows are shut, or the other doors are locked and shut. Is that a thing? Do, do the door? How does it lock on a time? Well, I think the latch is a bit tricky, so I think I might have shut it too hard and it, like, fell down.

Anyway, into the lock position. So I've swept, done my thing, and I've tried to go back inside. Couldn't do it. Can't do it. Door shut. What do I do? Does the heart rate start rising straight? Because you know your own house.

Well, naturally, I'm like, oh, it's fine. I'll just go my phone. I'll just make a call. And I was like, hang on. Phone's inside. This was meant to be a quick five-minute job. Gotta have it on you. Were you raw dogging the sweeping?

You didn't, weren't listening to me. A really quick job of like, I'll just quickly do that outside. So now I had to break it back into your house? Well, I did a lap of the house. I thought, I'll just check every door and window. I reckon I did that 14 times. Even though I knew full law, they were all locked. It's like, what do I do?

And I kind of undone out a bit. I was like, I can't call anyone. The phone's inside. Who would you have called? Well, I'll get to that. Oh, okay. So I thought, I don't know any of my neighbours except for the ones of the left to me. She's lovely.

Good to know. I was like, I'm going to have to knock on the door and be like, hey, I'm, I've locked myself outside. It's after dinner time. It's dark. Yes, it's getting dark. No one wants to knock on the door. And I'm like, okay. And then what do I do?

Tell her I'm an idiot and that I need to borrow your phone. Maybe. And I was desperate to sweep. So I encouraged myself up to doing that. Go knock on the door. She was like, hey, how are you going? I was like, yeah, good. Anyway, can I borrow your phone?

Which is a weird thing to ask her. Not a stranger, but your neighbour, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course, course. And I'm like, okay, now, who do I call? Did she bring the phone to you or did you go inside her house? I went inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was nice. Who do I call? Do I just Google for like a locksmith here or do I call my mum? Mom. And now I decided to call mum because in that moment I realised that's the only number I know off by heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The only other number I know is 131060. And at the time, that one's on.

I probably would have got in touch with Nick Kelly at Hot Night or Lauren Barry. I was like, maybe they could help me. That was my next resort. But mum lives an hour away. Yeah, but, yeah. So I'm trying to call mum. Multiple calls are made. No answer.

I know mum's home. Nathan thinks she's on porn hub or something. But she's getting a call late in the evening from a no number. She doesn't have saved. No one answers. That's right. Because there's so many scammers going around. And you've trained her well.

Yeah. And then so I've sent a text. And to be fair, this text does look suss. Mom, pick up. It's me. Yes. Yes. It wasn't that a thing that went around.

Hey, Dad, I've lost my card. Can you transfer me money? Which was the vibe. Which was the vibe. And in hindsight, I admit, that looked very scummy. But still, if I call multiple times, answer after like the third at least. Or call back. Mom, it's shy guy.

So, mum didn't call answer or call me back. So I'm there with my name and I'm like, oh, I think mum will call me. I don't really know what else to do here. So I was like, I'll just call a locksmith. No, yeah. Googled around for one. Found one. Late night too.

Late night. Oh, surcharge? Extra cash, yep. Yep. Found one, called one. Came to the house, 20 minutes later up. Yeah. Are you sitting in your neighbour's house this whole time?

Yeah, chill out. How much? How much? 300. Two, ten. Yeah. Anyway, shout out to Aaron. Well, I thought it'd be about 300 because of the late-night fee.

Well, I don't know if that was a... He got the nice-faced discount. It had to be paid. Were you nude? I was not nude, but I wasn't wearing any shoes or anything. Well, there you go. No shoes. I was barefoot.

I would love to speak to your neighbor, what she's feeling in this moment, because the host in me would kick you. No, she was great. She was like, I just made a rack of lamb. Do you want some dinner? I was like, no, I can't do that. No, thank you. Her dog kept bringing me the toys to like show me everything. Sick. Sick. So, have you ever a locksmith before? I have a couple times. You know what? There's nothing more. A couple of times. There's nothing more emasculating and just like embarrassing. It's just embarrassing. It's just embarrassing. It's just embarrassing. Done. And they go, thank you. And they hold over their phone to pay.

Well, literally. Literally. The hearing is you need to give spare keys to Rowan and I, maybe Babs. That's what Babbs said. So give me a key. But I said, but even in that case, my phone was inside and I don't know your number. Still would have been stuck. So what do I do?

And who's learning numbers off by heart anymore? Yeah. I still remember my parents' home phone. I remember that. I remember that. I'm just being disconnected. Mum's mobile, dad's mobile. I'm pretty close to my partner Lucy's mobile.

Yeah. I could probably, it's. I reckon I got one digit. They're like this. Back six are like this. I'd have to have a couple of goes at it, but I would get it. Yes, in that instance, who you call it. I've just been so reliant on the contacts list and, like, they've recently caught.

And then I just thought, I only know my mum's mobile number. And so did your mum ever get back in touch with you? No, so once I got, so once the locks me sorted me out, all good, tap, away we go, thanks. $210 later. I'd get inside. She's ringing. And no, I've called mum and I said, mum. Oh, she answers straight away.

Yeah. Hey, babe. Yeah, I'm like, did you not get a couple, like, 10 phone calls like an hour ago? It's like, yeah, that's a scammer. I was like, no, it was. Me. It was your son. I was stuck.

And because he didn't answer the phone and come to my house with your spare key, I had to pay $210. And I had to pay with the dog and eat the rack of the ham. And I had to make small talk with my neighbour. It was awful. This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, a story that has been bubbling away for about a fortnight now, one that we covered initially,

out of the 154 podcast where a comedian, Learn More Janasi, came on and shared that the translation of the line, Lion King's opening song, the Arsavanya song. He originally said, do you guys know what that actually means? In English, it translates to, oh my God, look, there's a lion. That clip went viral millions and millions of views around the world. Well, the composer behind that song, Leboem, he was not happy about that. And we heard lawsuits were popping up against this comedian.

Well, now we have the audio from a gig. More was on stage in front of an audience when a bloke with some papers walks up to him and this happened. What is this? What is this? Service. Oh, I just got served. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. You just.

For those who are wondering what this is for, I did a joke about the Lion King. I don't know. You saw it? I'm paying for that shit now. 27 million lawsuit. And you can hear the shock there and he's sort of laughing it off, explaining it to his audience. He's on.

And the show must go on. I think he finished that gig. But then he took to his Instagram to further explain just how mind-boggling this situation he's found himself in. For those people coming to me, actually saying to me that, hey, you apologize to Libo M. No. I never insulted him.

He called me an idiot. An idiot. He called me a wannabe comedian. I've won awards all over Africa. I was America's good talent. I have a career. I'm touring. Yeah, he's a comedian. It's not a wannabe comedian. He made a joke on a podcast. He made a joke on a podcast. Liboam, apparently in the lawsuit, says that the statements made by Janasi, the comedian, are interfering with his business relationships with Disney as well as his income from royalties. That's where this $27 million figure, I always wonder that. You know, when people sue for damages, where do they get the damages? Where do they get numbers from? He is saying it's

cost him more than $20 million in actual damages and also seeks $7 million in punitive damages because he presented the translation as authoritative fact, not as comedy. He's a comedian on the podcast. All they do is joke. That's all they do is joke. All they do is joke. It's actually really interesting. Rowan. If he wins, if The composer, Leboem wins. What does this mean for comedy for making jokes? I understand when actual damage occurs, but this is pretty interesting to think that a joke could result in $27 million lawsuit.

Just a stuck up old man. And the guy went on to say, the comedian said, I don't have $27 million. It's not like I then earned $27 million from that joke on the podcast. Go fund me that some fans have started. It's got about 300K, but... For the comedian. Well, just for his legal fees alone.

Well, yes. And now actually engage a lawyer. They'll throw this out. They'll go, mate, there's no damage. I don't reckon they'll prove damages. Where are the damages? But this is similar. You know how we often see?

I feel like every few weeks there's someone suing an artist for copyright infringement. They always make it to trial. Well, a lot of them do make it to trial in front of a judge. But it's a very expensive thing being in front of a judge. being in front of a judge full stop. I think, well, I guess it's a bit of a different story, but the Ed Shearhan has kind of shut all that down now. True.

He's one multiple times. Spent millions of dollars shutting that down. But he also... It's a different thing. But he also settled a number of times too, Roe. So it's interesting that, yeah, prior to some of the ones he did fight. He did settle behind the scenes. So watch this space.

We'll keep you updated. We were on the ground floor of this when it happened on the podcast. So I guess we'll keep you up to date with what happens. Disney, Libo M, versus this comedian. Learn more Janice? Yeah, we were just reporting on the joke. We weren't joking. We were reporting on the joke.

This is Jess and Rowan. Just quickly needed to cleanse my conscience after I embarrassed myself last night. I am a very proud little monster. Yep. I pray at the altar of our queen and mother. Gaga. Gaga.

Very new to the bandwagon. I only went to the concert because my mum wanted to go. And I fell in love with her as the best concert of my life. Not even that actually happened. Because mum wanted to go. My mum was the one who wanted to go. What, back Jan last year. And I went, I'll come with you, ma, if you're willing to buy me a ticket.

Oh, thank gosh. I ended up going twice. Okay. But I was taking the little doggy out for a wee-wee last night. You know, Angus does bedtime. I do do doggy or he does doggy. I do bed. Look after the dog.

Oh, you grow up. You got a bedtime. I do doggy. Don't say that, Matt. I look after the doggy. Okay, all right. Thanks for clearing that up. So he was doing stories.

I look after the doggy. Good, good. And I'm standing there by the bushes, trying to encourage him to wait. Stop looking. I can't look at you in the eye. And a woman and man, a couple perhaps, walk past me in the bushes. She's wearing the Gaga shirt that I own. I actually wore it for you today.

Thank you. And I, you know, the sun's down. It's kind of dark. There's not a lot of light. Dog's weeing. I've yelled out. Yes, Gaga. Bro.

I don't know if it just came out of me. I was so thrilled to see a Gaga shirt in the wild. Yeah, of course. But I wasn't wearing my Gaga shirt. Nothing about. It was just dark. It was just dark. It was dark.

And I locked. She was wearing. I don't even know if she's... Stranger over there is yelling at me with a horse. Got a horse with her? Why did I yell out? Yes, Gaga. I think that's a meme or a vine or something.

I don't know. It might be a vine. You don't have a vine. I'm going to have a vine. I think Vine's back. So you managed for this chick now? No, because she looked at me like, and ran away.

When she eventually clocked where the voice had come from in the bushes. Yes, Gaga. She was like, maybe she forgot she was wearing a Gaga shirt. Maybe she thought you were talking to the dog. Like, your dog's name was Gaga and he was wean because you were trying to coach it. And you're like, yes, Gaga. Yes, Garga.

Oh, mate, I don't know. But the fear in her eyes, I thought it might be a nice bonding moment, two little monsters in the wild. It was not. This story is not for me. This is this whole thing. So you bedroom, the dog, and you're going to talk a couple of monsters.

I just thought like I started singing at her because I like that line. She started running at a full pace. This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Played, who was it? Ian. Ian played at 7 for 3 and he apologised afterwards.

Which was appreciated. Not needed, but he did apologise. If you get less than 5, I'm going to need a sorry. New rule. New rule. Less than five, you must apologize. Because Rowan, if I may be so brash. Less than four?

Waste our time. Is that too brash? That's pretty brash for under five. Claudia, good morning to you. Hi, Claude. Good morning. The pressure's on now. Do you think you owe us an apology for wasting not only our time,

but everyone who you beat to get on? What do you think? Because Rowan, 500 people are calling every time, yeah? Babs, it might even be more. Lines are full, at least. So if you have taken the... spot and you get less than five, I think you owe everyone an apology. What do you think, Claudia?

Look, I've got to say, it's a pretty tough competition to call, so I think you should just get a consolation prize for just getting through that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Claudia. We actually got rid of the consolation prize because we were sick of giving people who got a two a great prize. You don't deserve a prize. We get this kind of nonsense.

We get this kind of nonsense from another Claudia. They're getting close to a Claudia band. You know what? Claudia has got some BDE. Claudia goes, I know I'm winning the 10. Huge nuts. So I'm just going to throw grenades at you guys. Grenades? Claudia, what do you want our 10 grand for?

We just bought our house recently. Nice. Congrats. So house renovations. Oh, I love that. Lastly, Claudia, do you think you should apologise under 5 or under 4? Because I'm on the fence there. I'm going to go under 4.

You don't think 5 is wasting our time? I think we're nice and the night. I think we get much over five. We don't. It's a lot of apologies. Maybe if you get a three. Hey, Claudia, how about you get a 10? And we'll, no one will apologise.

We'll just transfer your 10 grand. How about that? Happy days. Okay. Well, you have got a solid letter, sis. The final time we're playing this week, your letter is T. T for Tyler,

maybe you'd like to get some, a Tyler involved with your house renovation, okay? Okay. Thank you. You ready? Your time? We'll start after the first question. Starting with the letter T, we need you to name.

An instrument. Trumbone. A non-alcoholic drink. Tea. An adjective. Tall. A singer. Pass.

Something in the kitchen. Tongues. A periodic element. Titanium? A colour. Truffle. A horror movie. Pass.

A Mexican food. Tacos. No, after the buzzer. Interesting. How many do you have? Wow, I want an apology. Jess needs an apology. Sorry, Jay.

Okay, it's all right. I didn't feel good. I take back. I don't feel nice. I'm okay with the apologies. Maybe we'll do underfoot. Well, well, done, no, Claudia.

Yeah, you didn't pay truffle. That's fair. I appreciate that. No. I was just like, as a painter, so surely it's in like the Jules'luck. Yeah, oh, yeah.

They've got some pretty kooky. Thank God we weren't making sure it was 10 because I, oh, geez, or anyway, never mind. Singer could have a tattoo. Sway? You know Taitay? I do know Tait. Very good. And horror movie, what did you say?

Past. Oh, you passed. Well, you could add, you know, the shining. Because at any of the Vaz. Because at any of the Vez. Good job on the periodic element, though. Not a lot of people get periodic element. Thank you, Claudia.

Sorry, we couldn't get you the money. No, you don't apologize to her. I just said, sorry, we couldn't get her the money. She already apologised to us. No sorries. We are in the clear. Yeah, we are fine. Screw you, Claudia.

Love you, babe, babe. Talks it later. All right, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. No consolation prize. Cancel the Bulls ought to say she wants a consolation prize. That's unbelievable. The Worcesterification of the nation, Rowan, everyone wants a participation award. No, no, you get 10 grand.

The award is being on air. Thank you. Tell your friends. Just so everyone knows, that's what it's like going head to head with Fartioni. I love this game. Literally that. And Stein Guy made me respect the integrity of this show a little more today. Under five, we need an apology from now on.

Thank you. Thank you, Rowan. Yeah, you're good. Bras. Nice. This is Jess and Rowan. Now, one of the great legends, his name is Ruben Stiles, one half of Peking Duck and Yoga, playing all around regional New South Wales. Hello, mate. Hey, how we doing?

We couldn't be better. We are so glad to be talking with you. How is it all going as yoga? We know last time we caught up, country is on fire. And you putting this dance spin on it, baby. You're master of the D-Flaw. It's so good, man. It's so cool.

So fun. Yeah, baby. Yeah, it's going crazy. You know, getting the call to go back to stagecoach. You know, I didn't see it coming, but, you know, I feel like I've earned it. So I'm feeling pretty stoked. So for stagecoach, for those people who don't know, is that basically just the country Coachella? What is that?

It is, yeah. It's the same site as Coachella, but it's just country music. And it's, yeah, I guess it's like the biggest country first, maybe in the world. I'm not sure. And this is the thing, Rubin, we've both seen you in action and we love it because we love you. But the vibes are undeniable. When you're amongst proper country folk, though, how are you accepted? Like when you're tinkering with some of the classic that they've grown up with, are they for it or are they purists and going, hang on a minute.

What's this young fella doing with my pure honky tonk? You know what I'm saying? No, exactly right. You know, a lot of people in the country crowd, you can tell. They don't get much exposure to a DJ. And so when I start each set, they're like, you can tell they're trying to fight, you know, their internal feelings. They're like, I'm not mental like this, but there's something about this that I can't get enough of them. You know, give it.

Yeah. And then by the end, it turns into a madhouse. Yeah, sick. I've seen Ruben DJ for 10 years now. Very good DJ. I know. You have. Yeah.

One of the most impressive times I've seen DJ. It was like at 3.30, but we won't talk about that room. But one of the most impressive times I saw was at Howland Country Festival in Newcastle. And there was about three people in front of him at the start. I went to the toilet, came back, probably 300 in about 10 minutes, screaming the words. Obviously, country music festival, they knew the country songs. They knew, but it's like a moth to a flame, isn't it? You get those fantastic lyrics that we love country music for, but you get the dance beat.

And I think you need about seven shooys. I think that's part of the shtick, isn't it, Rubin? Yeah, the shooie, I don't know how, I've set myself up for that. So I'm like, you know, I was like, oh, I really should have a month off the booze. And then a show happens. And now seven shooies out of my boot in. And I'm like, damn, this is just never going to happen. And your next official remix is of Duncan from Slim Dusty.

Did you get to chat to Slim? How did that work out? Did he obviously approve? did, but what did he really think? Was his vibe on it? Well, it was approved by his family because our you know, our forefather

Slim Dusty is no longer with us. Of course. And so his family control Slim Dusty Estate. They reached out after they saw. I did a little remix just really for online for TikTok and for Instagram.

And it kind of went viral and And yeah, his family reached out and said, hey, we've already been in touch with Slim's label. Yep. And which was like universal or EMI or something. And then they all got in touch. And from putting the video up to getting it released on Spotify and all the platforms, I could not believe this.

You couldn't have done this, you know, a year ago or two years ago. But the whole process took three weeks. They were just like, yes, let's go. Wow. When you think there's going to be so much red tape, bureaucracy. When you start saying family members are getting involved, forget about it. Forget about it.

Well, when the music is that good. So you're coming up this way to play some shows. Drifter's Wath, April 18, Port Mac at Finians, April 10. Show Bay Country Club, yes. All happening. That's April 5. If you are looking for a night out, make the time to go and see yoga. Such a fun night.

And you can see how much fun Ruben's having. Just look at his videos. That's the fun you have. You wear your cowbell. Boots and your cowboy hat. Just give it a show you go responsibly. But if you're wearing a thong, put it through a thong. It doesn't matter.

Just get involved with Ruby. Give a quicker funnel. Yeah, waterfall it out of a thong. That's the move. Or out of your cowboy hat. I like that. You can get the tickets to yoga's upcoming shows via www.

Your OnlyGreatallways.com. Rubin, thanks for hanging out with us, man. Hey, thanks for the chat. Love you guys. This is Jess and Rowan. Text us. 04-8-8-1069. The question is,

Yep. What are you terrified about your kid finding out, i.e. What have you told your kid to maybe make your life a little bit easier? And you're worried the day they find out and catch her. Great content creator on Instagram, Rowan. Live with two. She shared a post, simple things. I'm terrified of my toddler finding out.

She's got two young kids. Is her, sorry, is her name live? Yeah, her hand. Live? I'm assuming a live young. Because you've got to live with two kids, but also live has two. So live with two. You love that.

It's a great name. This is a great creator. 10,000 followers, 11,000 followers on Instagram, and the post has got thousands of comments because parents are connecting. The little white lies she's told the kiddies to make her life easier. Yeah, mum's lie, bro. I don't know if I'm cool with it. My mother used to lie to me all the time.

You know why Karen needed to just get through the freaking day. So I've sent you a couple rowing things that Live is terrified of her toddlers finding out. You want to go back and forth, babe? Yep, you want me to start? Sure. Literally nothing is going to happen after I count to three. Yeah, I love that one so much. I've just started adopting the I'm going to count to three, Lucia.

One. And then we start doing two and a half, two and three quarters, and she literally walks off of me. I have no one already over there. I like this one as well. Literally, I am not going to leave without you. You know, you're saying, all right, bye. Lucia starts going, see ya. See ya.

See ya. Good luck. She'll get you. The sass of Jess and the smarts of. Angus, uh-oh. Uh-oh. That chicken and a chicken are one and the same. I don't know that one.

As in the chicken nuggets you're eating. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the farm chicken that you like to pet or maybe feed, they are one and the same. Because a kid finding out that they're eating little Betsy, the chook that they were playing. Oh, they don't want to eat it anymore. Well, that's exactly.

Chicken and our chicken, one in the same. Gotcha. I like this one as well. Not everything I eat is too spicy. It's too spicy for you, Lulu. It's too spicy. It's too spicy. I've heard this ice cream, there's spicy.

It's spicy. Or I like this one as well. Oh, there's alcohol in this, sweetheart. No, sorry. This is for mummy. Yeah, alcohol, no. Not for kids. But now it's quite concerning.

Lucere goes, I want a wine. I'm like, oh. Okay, mate. And I'm in two minds about putting her. No, you can't give her wine. No. Maybe a, maybe. Don't put juice in it.

Don't put juice in the wine glass. Nah, you can't do that. Because then she'll go for a wine glass. I knew that was the right there. Yeah. And then she breaks it and starts having a cracker. You know what? When I give her special drink, it's water with fish oil liquid.

She does it. No one tell her. No one, she likes it? Well, she likes it. Well done, Mum. It's cordial. It's cod liver oil. My mother used to make chocolate cake, but zucchini chocolate cake full of zucchini.

And it was delicious. And she didn't tell me for years. Because it's cake. Yes, cake. I had a mate. Classic fat Rowan. He used to make a big deal. Oh, you were so good today.

All right. You can have a little treat. And he'd pull a. a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and say it was a treat. Little frozen pee. Parents are awful. Kids would go nuts for it.

Terrified of finding out peas. Good for you. The water in the hose does not actually run out. Oh, the water is no more water. That's gone. Yes, yes, yes. We've just got a quick text here. 04-8-8-1069.

Someone has said, I've told my four-year-old, unfortunately, not every TV can play poor patrol. And mummy was silly and didn't buy a TV. that can play. Oh, ma'am. Corpotrol. Sorry, darling.

I think you've had kids. I'd lie other time. Who am I kidding? You've got to survive. Just lie. But it'd be funny to lie. Absolutely. So let's keep them coming.

13, 1060. Yeah. Or 04-8-8-1-0-6-9. What are you terrified of your kid finding out? Yeah. Terrified. What are the lies? Jess get your notebook out.

Yeah, 100%. This is Jess and Rowan. What are you terrified? Your kids are going to find out about. i.e. What's the little white lies you've told them just to keep your sanity? Great content creator on Instagram. Live with two. She shared this post.

Things like, I've told my son if he goes to school Monday to Friday, he can have Saturday and Sunday off. But when he finds out that is just the way of the world, I'm probably in big trouble. Someone said, I've told my kid my ears get too full if they ask me questions all day long. That's a good one. That's probably the best one I've heard so far. I like, and this one has come through on the text line row, 048-8-1069.

Poop doesn't need to go in the potty so that the fish can build houses. Has to go. So it has to. That's what they've told their kick. You've got to put it in there because how are the fishies going to build their homes? So you should try it with Lucia because she... Ah, great one. She loves fish.

You're big into mermaids. Maybe I'll have something about mermaids. Oh my God, the mermaids need your poo for the houses. The building blocks. Very eco-friendly. Well, poop is the blocks. Thanks, darling. He's the blocks.

Thanks, darling. Thanks, darling. Let's go to Kelsey. Good morning, Kelsey. Hey. Good morning. I told my three-year-old that my Spotify is broken in my... We've got to drive 20 minutes every day back and forth,

and I just don't want to listen to coconut for 20 minutes. That's very bad. Spotify's broken. Completely get it. I love that one. It's good with the broken or closed. It just doesn't. It's sorry, darling.

It's broken, mate. Ashley, good morning to you. Good morning. How you going? Yeah, good babe. What are you terrified of your kids finding out? I am terrified that they're going to find out that the super, super special treat that they get, that's a chocolate piece, is a worming tablet.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Lucia thinks chocolate is as well. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Have some chocolate? Absolutely, you can, sweetheart. Some chucky, beauty. You can only have one and a half of these blocks according to your weight. Every six weeks. Sophie, oh, you've been eating the sand at daycare, have some chocolate.

Mommy. Hey, Sophie. Hi, guys. How are you? Good, good, good, babe. What are you terrified of your nieces and nephews finding out? Well, I look after them quite a bit. I'm not sure if you remember, Jess. An old co-host used to tell that their kids that peas were lollies. Yes. We were just talking about that. Yeah. Nick, good on. That's a genius. Oh, so I do that and I am such a fun, auntie, because they can have lollies in the morning and they can have lollies any time they want when they hang out with Arnie Sophie. But only if they're being good, I imagine Sophie.

Oh, 100%. Frozen peas and corn for the win. Frozen corn actually is a treat. I love that. That's very good. We've got some great ones coming through. This one I love from Stacey. I tell my kid that the dog reports back to me when she's being naughty and I'm out of the room.

I'm going to start making Gianni a spy. That's a great one. Alana has said, you know, the little rides at the shopping centres that cost like four bucks for you to be on for 20 seconds. I'm so sorry. It's broken. See those words here it says it's out of order. And then final, we'll end with Jesse. She said, I'll tell my three-year-old, if he swears, he turns invisible.

Oh, where's he gone? Where's he gone? This is Jess and Rowan. Let's catch up on the week that was with the diary. Well, what are we getting to spend with Jess and Rowan? Good morning, Rowan. How do you do for this fine day? My guts are grumbling?

Today I might poo my pants. Rowan's girlfriend, Lucy, is convinced that Rowan received a message from Beyond the grave. Ooh. She said, have you had any, any, like, messages today? And I said heaps. She went, no, from any kind of signs.

I was like, no, Lucy. And you go, oh, yeah, I haven't had a message yet from G-dad. That was my granddad. Yeah, yeah. Light starts flickering. And then she goes off her head. And I'm like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then after her, go,

because she's so enthusiastic and loved it. And I said, oh, yeah, if it's granddad, stop. within half a million seconds. Stop. Stop flickering. She went... G-dad knows you're a smart ass. And he knew you would test him. I went, I'm going to wait for him.

Maybe that is Maxwell. Hi, Maxwell. So she lost her mind. Thank God we were in an empty corner. This was embarrassing. We roleplayed being drunk in a Macca's drive-thru. Can you work out what we would have ordered? Hi, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get you?

Hey, mate. Hi. Yeah. Go to a mid-back Congo, Pete. Some Congo peas A mig back Congo peas That is on a bus stop

And I know exactly what you want You want a big Mac combo, please That's what I said Even in your inebriated state You get it Still got manners That's a great That's a great

Isn't it so good Babb I get a Ferreido-Frish extra tartar Sorry ma'am Can you just do read me that a little One more time for the tartar

Tata That makes me want I've never even had a Philito fish, but it makes me want to try. I kind of don't mind the Philo fish. One of my friends, she was on a health kick once, and she read something from like the heart association that if you add lettuce to a philito fish, it's better for you. It's wrong.

Her order would always be ferrida fish and lettuce. My God, she's blind. You're definitely drunk. Rowan here's with some urinal chat, and the unspoken rule of always leaving a blank urinal between you and a guy next to you. We wondered if the same rules apply in the ladies' room. Babbs does that in the ladies with me, with cubicles. She's like, I'm not going right next door to your dress.

I always got the same one every day. Yeah, you got the far one. Yeah, the one plus the wall. Maybe to assert dominance, you would go next to her. Exactly. And then you keep up the chat to really throw it off her game. I hate that. I know you do.

Hey, babe. I have a particularly strong wee. I'm like, whoa, thirsty. Oh, no, bro. She's like, don't talk to me. I said, I come on. Just trying to bond. Oh.

That's feral, bro. That's classic, I can't comment on my friends stream? No. That's unknown to me. Oh, wait, stream or smell? Streamer. I thought you meant.

I don't know. I don't know how I was. I said particularly straw. Why did you get smell? I don't know. Islands and that is what we are. Firsty. We debated who on the team gets ready the most efficiently.

And turns out we all have different ways of doing it. Undergarments for me. Then hair and makeup. Then. any sort of outfit. Why wouldn't you put your top on first, then your makeup? Because then you get your makeup on the top? So if I get those done first, I slip on the outfit, I go, I look fantastic.

Whereas sometimes I put the outfit on, I go, I look like a troll. And I change the outfit 15 times. Sometimes I have been known to Winnie the Poet. So T-shirt on with your wang out. Yeah, sometimes. That is crazy talk. Sometimes. Mostly undies, but if I'm closer to the shirt than the undies,

like, for instance, if I haven't put the undies away and they're still just in the, like, the t-shirt? Shirt on with your bare bum out. I'm Winnie the Pooh and we'd be bum out. Shiger, as a methodical man, I know you would have a system. She's lasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always in the same order.

It's underwear, shorts and then shirt. And then I would do like my hair or whatever. Okay, that's the last thing. That's hard. Underwear, shorts. Flex in the mirror. No question. And then socks.

A quick pump, obviously. Sees the day. A million push-ups. Texty seven girlfriends. Flex. Babs, what's your order? I think I go undies pants, top. No, I'm going to stop your head.

Slow down. Are you doing all of south of the equator before your top gets covered? The reverse witty. Yeah, I do. The reverse witty. Jess tried to hit Warren with a compliment, but it kind of backfired when she got her wording mixed up mid-sentence. I'm getting lost in your dreamy browns.

Is that why I'm sweating? That doesn't sound. Dreamy browns? No one's ever said dreamy browns before. Are you kidding? Lots of my dreamy browns. Sounds like I'm looking at your mud button. What the hell is a mud button?

Shy guys, you're right? She's talking about your button. Dreamy, ah. Shy guy speaks, Jess. Dreamy browns and the mud button. Dreaming about it too? Dreaming? I said dreamy brown, like his eyes.

Oh, the dreamy browns. That's what, I meant your eyes getting lost in your eyes. I was just trying to be more creative than just saying lost. Say that. Never forget. You can get in touch with your eyes. show any time and give us your two cents or as Rowan put it you can call 131060 just give us your 10 cents or you can leave a text on the text line show I've never heard a 10 cents oh it was two cents

we want more than two yeah we want more than two if you come with two we're going to have follow-up questions you better have an eight cents sitting in your pocket yeah to deliver up yeah if it's just a quick little it's like oh how I just wanted to say I like the show well what do you like mostly about it. Yeah, absolutely. And some constructive criticism. We're still in our infancy. We're not a two-cent show. We're not a two-cent show. We're not a two-cent show. Ten-cent minimum. We're a ten-cent show. What?

You want five times the standard? Yeah. And then there's a surcharge. You know, if you don't spend above the F-POS minimum, they then go, well, that's a one-point-five So we're actually 11.5, really. Absolutely. We're like an 11.5 cent. And aren't we worth it? Yes.

Yes. That's it from us. See you next week. Bye. My fingers are fingering. Just start again. Just control yourself, correct? I'm ready, baby. Put your hand down.

This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowans. Cookup of the day. All thanks, 2D legends at Newcastle Food Month, Australia's most expansive food festival. A wicked prize. We're given Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, now it's Friday, same price all week.

May. A night's day. the crucible, Kingsley with dinner, breakfast and parking included. Lovely. $250 spending money. Maybe to treat yourself on a plate date. You can check them all out on the website. Or book in for one of the feature events.

I've got recommendations if you want them. And then a $200 shopping spree with our friends at Charlestown Square, I recommend stretchy pants. Good idea. Every day this week, incredible contributions, but there can only be one winner. For today, yes, correct. For today, about an hour ago, we asked the question, and what are you terrified of your kids finding out?

The little white lies you tell them as a parent just to freaking survive. Ash called, gave us this. I am terrified that they're going to find out that the super, super special treat that they get that's a chocolate piece is a worming tablet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Lucia thinks chocolate is as well.

Yummy, yummy, yummy. You know some chocolate? Absolutely, you can, sweetheart. Some chucky, beauty. You can only have one and a half of these blocks according to your weight. Six weeks. Every six to eight weeks. Oh, itchy bum, have a treat.

Oh, yummy. Chucky for you, baby. But you know what the unfortunate thing is with worming chocolate, Rowan? I don't expect you to know this, not having a small child in your life. If one of you has it, you all should have it. Because if one of your's got worms, you probably all got worms. Can you catch the worms, though? Apparently, it's a thing.

You've got to go into their room in the depths of the night. Shine a light. Blue light? Nah, just like a light, because the worms are attracted to the light. It's pretty messed up. Whoa. It's pretty. Freaky.

But are they little worms? Yeah, they're little, but I'm pretty sure someone told me that. I've never caught him. We're just trying to it regularly because she eats sand at daycare. Oh. I don't think you should overdo it, but it's not harmful if you have it. How is something so cute? Eat something so ridiculous.

I know. To be honest, I had last time I ate sand. When did you eat sand? Is it tasty? No. It was the last time you tried it. Speaking from experience, recent experience. Oh my God, I haven't tried sand in years.

2022. You got a busy weekend. Maybe you could try to say. And this is not for me. Hey, next week, great cooker of the week. We're back to week. Regular programming 500 to spend with our mates at Health Labs. Oh, thanks, Health Lab legend.

But it is also the week of the way to race. So I recommend we all spend the weekend. What? April 1, babe, is the way to race. Wednesday. How is it already April? Oh, time flies. I'm having fun.

Amen. So let's just all take it seriously. It's Wednesday. And it's a short week next week. Have we even organised anything? We didn't even know the plan. We don't know the plan. I think Shy Guy's going to do some deep diving and come with a plan.

Short plan. You're our coach, babe. You have even less chances for Cooker of the Week. Okay. Yeah. Play a coach, you are shy guy. You know, like when the coach also runs out onto the fields. That's you.

That's you, baby. All right. We'll see Monday from 6. Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Macca's Bistro Benet's Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.