Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - Stop laughing!

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Jess has been avoiding an email that could be revealing a truth, Rohan gets annoyed at the cafe and Producer Babs gives us a new blog for the week!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Try the big Brecky range with honey saracha today. Only at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Ron podcast. Hello everyone. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for tuning in. What up?

What up? What up? Was it. Try it. Give me a good was up. No. I'll grow up. How do you decide when you will play and when you won't play?

Great, great question. Because sometimes he does and it surprises me. I don't want to force anything. But sometimes. Sometimes we just ask you to, you know, throw something up and you do it. And then other times you just decide not to play. Babbs, you want to give us your best. WhatsApp.

What's that? How hard is that? Thank you, Babs. If I do it, then I get the whole, you didn't give it enough. It's like, oh, what do you want? That's why I don't do it. So he's like, you know, the classic thing. Here we go.

He's the kind of partner. If he got any sense, oh, she might dump me. He'd break up with her first. Like there wouldn't be actual evidence, but he'd go, I'm getting in before you. So you dump us before we have a chance to shit can your effort. Yep. Yep. What do you think about that, Babs?

Awesome. Do you think it's accurate? You would do that. Yeah, you would do that. Yeah, you would do that. I'll admit that. Fun blog today. Fun Babs's blog.

Great blog. Really good blog. I'm really excited for this friendship to develop because if this is how much content we've gotten out of it and you've only started your relationship, imagine what this lady is going to bat up for us. She said her mum listens to the show a lot. Her mom? And had she come at your date saying, I heard you talked about it?

No, but she said, oh, what are you doing for work now? And I was like, oh, I was like, you said and then revealed her mom. Yes, after. So I was like, obviously, yeah. But did you talk about that? You talked about it? No. No, no, because she kind of didn't really know about the show anyway.

So I just was like, well, I don't really need to dislike that. But we don't think her mom had said to her. Oh, maybe. But to be fair, like everything that I've said. I'm knowing, you know, absolutely. It's been tasteful. Yeah. You're never rude.

No, never rude. If anything, we were rude. Well, I, well. And you were sexual. I wasn't sexual. Oh, you always bring it back to kissing. Yeah, why has it always about kissing? He's just, he's a horny boy.

What's a ha? What's a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Okay. Oh, sorry, sorry. No, no, no. Would you like to play? No, no. I'm played out.

I'm done. Play along. I'm always playing along. Right. Why's a right. Do it. No. Please.

Just do it. Just do it. Three of a seven. Now you're all egging it on. Okay. What if we did it all together? All the same time. One.

None of you. I know you're going to do it. Three. No. No. See you. Yeah. All right.

See you guys. Bye. Angus does bedtime, I do do doggies. You'll get to know Rowan. Me fingers are fingering. It's going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right.

Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. That squawking fatty. And Rowan. You like what I did. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Good morning, team.

How are we? Good morning. We were just talking about it's like, what, a few months away from Jess's 10-year anniversary with the company. Ten years, Rowan. Wow. So like two years. My longest relationship.

Wow. Is with his business. Well, how long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this station, you're on now. Correct. Technically. Longer than your husband.

Technically still longer because whilst I started here in a January, I met him in the June. Really? So you had about six times. Throw it around. Amen. And didn't I throw it around, Ron? Didn't you throw it around?

You know, at our listener event. which was what two Fridays ago. A woman brought up how I was chasing the tail of some rugby league player. And I went, oh my God, you're talking about 2018. Wait. Get over. Oh, was that in the ice cream truck? She was saying that?

No, no, and our long lunch. Oh, someone else said something about it. Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God. But isn't it funny, the staying power of radio? It actually is, whilst I don't love reflecting on that time, it actually is pretty amazing what people remember and have latched on. What was wrong with that time?

Um, it was under, I don't want to say coercion, but it wasn't my idea. It wasn't my idea. Okay, all right, good to know. That whole thread, and it's not something I'm particularly proud of, if I'm honest with you Rowan. What, the six months are just having a crack. No, no, that's fine. But, you know, how it transpired on it was at the insistence of someone I worked with,

and I didn't love all of that. And it was actually a real lesson for me. And, hey, if you don't like something, Jess, freaking use your voice. Yeah, you guys stand up yourself. You got to stand up. For yourself. But it was also, I give myself a little grace. I was very new.

I was very green. I was 28, which doesn't feel that young. But I can look now at the 34-year-old I am and say, give her a little grace. But it's amazing the staying power of what I've said through this big stick. Yeah. And what people have latched onto and remember. Ten years, babe.

So good. You in the industry, I know there was a small hiatus. Yeah, I jumped around. But you in the industry? Yeah, yeah, yeah, long time. But I've obviously had the time off. But I went from here, I went from SCA, which is the company, Suncross the Stereo. And then I went to Kiss.

Yes. She was Kyle and Jackie O.R. Mm-hmm. And then came back to Southern Across Terrier. So I don't want to get any long service leave or anything. Yeah. That's how they get you. So you've never done a regional stint per se, little tiny towns or anything?

No, just the big cities for the big boi. There you go. But it is pretty amazing, isn't it? Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Both our paths, very different. And now come together. And now touched at the tip.

Just the tip. Nice. Just the tip. Just the tip. Morning, shy guy. Morning. How are you feeling? Yeah, just the tip.

How you feeling this morning? Feeling good. For a Tuesday? Good. I must say, Rowan. Shy guy accidentally left you off the emails yesterday. Yeah. So you would have missed the very exciting in bold.

I've got a new game. I did miss that completely. He did tell me yesterday, but I wasn't aware that you're starting it today. Oh, you got a face to face. All right, well, I just saw that for the first time in the emails. I'm excited. We have a new game today. Can you give us a headline or a little?

It would ruin it. I kind of, I don't, I kind of half remember it. Sure. No, he left me off the show email for today and I was like, all right, either one, he's forgot to do the email. He wouldn't do it. That's up, that's up. Two, he's got my name mixed up with someone.

A different Rowan, maybe. Just forgot to put me on it. Because we've obviously merged with, who is it seven. I get more results for Rowan now. There could be some more. Or he's just left me off it and they're going to have a half hour sleeping and I'm going to do this show. Funny buggers. And I'm not even going to ask him where the email is because I'm going to call it.

If I get there by myself, shows on. I love that for you. I love that energy. I love that commitment. I love that resilience. Leaning into it. I would like to reflect. I didn't notice because I'm not looking at who he's sending it to.

He sends it to the same group of people. Instead of adding Rowan Edwards, he added someone called Darcy Ridgeway who is a producer down in Melbourne. Great chick. Shout out to Darcy. I don't know how you included Darcy. It's not like you included a Robert or a Rowena. Oh, you know what?

You did Darcy? No, you know what? The O is right next to I. So it might have gone, R-I for Ridgeway. Her surname. Yeah. Might have been in it. You must have been working so fast.

I think I was half asleep, to be honest. Go with the working so fast. Morning. Barbara. Oh, Babs. Sorry, hello. Good morning. I'm good.

Babs, do you know anything about Shire Guy's New York? game? No. No. I only told Rowan about it. Wow. It just happens to be how we passed. Does Babs get you play the game?

That's all right. I don't feel left out. It's okay. I haven't thought about that. Let's say no. Let's say no just to keep it with you guys. I thought maybe she wasn't in the loop because she's going to be a contestant. But no?

Okay, just Rowan v. Jess. Yeah. All right. Look forward to that after 630. Babbs's blog as well. Yes. Just after 730. Yeah.

And then just after 830. Oh my gosh. just to keep on the half-hour themes. We're doing... Code word. Oh, I thought we were to talk about the googly eyes on the teagum. We could have. You know what?

We absolutely could have, but we... I saw the path, but there was a fork, and I was in there what you were going to go. But we are running out of days for you to get your name in for Live the Dream. So I feel like the code word is the... It's really the biggest thing of the day. Definitely. Carrie and Tommy are calling the winner on Thursday, which makes today... Second last day.

We're doing double words tomorrow? No, Thursday? No, because they call Thursday. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Call them Thursday. So maybe. April 1 tomorrow. Maybe.

Is that legal? Who knows? We'll have to find out. Send an email. Send an email to Darcy Ridgeway. See if she knows. I'm Darcy. She'll tell you.

Yeah. She used the lines to Karen Tommy. Next, you got a random chat with your brother you wish to talk about. Literally this morning, Rowan. Fresh off the presses. This morning. Like, he and I share so much DNA. But could two people be more different?

Interesting. And I want to get one clarification from you, something we are debating this morning. All right. do it next. Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. I know you're an only child, Rowan, so you're not having conversations like these with your siblings.

Wish I did. Wish I had one. All right. I get it. It's just me. It's nothing to do with you. Things are getting a little easier with the two-year-old. I'll get easier.

You know what I'll get easier and easier and easier and. Yeah, but I'm getting older. My ovaries might have been the reason I passed out over the weekend from pain. I don't know if they're up for a second. Well, maybe they'll get easier and easier. Maybe they're like... Hurry up. Yeah, maybe they're going, you know what?

That might have been my last good egg. Blew up inside me. That's what that pain was. I'm not sure how female anatomy works. Can eggs explode? You know, like a rotten egg? I think rotten eggs explode. Look at chicken egg.

Anyway, I know you're only child. So I don't mean for this conversation with my brother to, you know, make you long... Rub it in? For something. No, of course. It's fine. But this is the kind of text. I get from my brother, 9 p.m. last night,

conversation is still going this morning. He's an early rise, I like us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on. No context, Rowan. No context. Okay, yeah. Listen.

When you say farcioni, F is 4. dot, dot, dot. That's what my brother sends me at 9 o'clock last night, no context. When you say farcioni, it's obviously our surname for anyone new here. Fart? Fart.

F is 4. Dot, dot, dot. I respond, because I know exactly what he means, if you're spelling out our surname for a dinner reservation or the doctor's appointment. Fanchione, what's your name? Jess Fanchione. F, for, I say, friendly. Because I find it a little amusing. I find it quite whimsical.

F for friendly. And I say, I said back to my brother, well, what do you say? He goes, are you serious? I thought we all were saying Fred. F for Fred. F for Fred. And I said, yeah. Oh, okay.

But they're all like, I said, yeah, that, they're expecting Fred. And I thought I just have a bit of bands with my brother. I said, you got to hit them with a one, two. They're not expecting. I also don't mind Fettuccini. Fet for Fettuccini. Because it fits. I've just said Fartioni.

Fettuccini. They're picking up my vibe. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, what do you mean they're expecting Fred? Yeah, they're expecting Fred. Is that common place? You go a name. It's like, O, Oscar.

I know you don't have any F's in your name. Rowan Maxwell Edwards, but if you were going to spell out my name to someone on the phone, do you reckon you'd go F for Fred, A, R, C, H. F, yeah, probably. Fred, probably Fred. F for Fred. I don't know the phonetic alphabet. Oh, Fox Trot, I think, is F in the phonetic alphabet.

It's A for All right. Yeah, because it's A. Yeah, you do names, basically, don't you? It's Fox Trot. It's Fox Trot. Not necessarily. Oh, I'm not that smart. I don't have all those.

But it would go like. F of Fred, he's going. And, oh, what do you mean they're expecting, Fred? He thought he was being quirky. What would the other F1B? What else could you do for F? Should I go when you're spelling out things, if you ever have to do an F? Uh, I'd probably go Fred.

Would you go, Fred? It's like N for, you say N for Nigel. Nlly. Ah, I see, I say November. N for Nelly. What? November. I go November.

You not doing any names? It's too big of a word. No, I think I would do R for Romeo. That is in the phonetic hour. alphabet. Okay. No, see, that's the thing. Shagga, I think you need a big word.

I don't want confusion. November, there's nothing that sounds like November. Movember? Do you many times I've said my name, you know, I've ordered my Chinese over the phone. They go, what's your name, Jess? Oh, yeah. I go to pick it up. Jeff is written.

Jeff. I think that's just laziness from the stuff. Maybe, maybe. I also get jazz. Like, how am I saying my own name? That's cool, though. I could see he was a jazz. I could see myself as a jazz, too.

And now with me long hair. I feel like Jasmine from Aladdin. Wow, you do give Jasmine. But anyway, these are, and then my brother's woken up this morning being like, no, seriously. Oh, mate, get a move. We moved on. Nah, he wants clarification.

I'm like, come up with, he got it. Come up with something more whimsical. If you think Fred is what they're, um, flying. F flowers. Flowers is nice. You know what he should say, Fred Flintstone.

Fred, yeah, for Fred Flintstone. Yeah, for Fred Flintstone. So anyway, I don't know if you're... I don't know if this has made you jealous of my relationship with a sibling. If anything, I'm glad I'm not sure. This is Jess and Rowan. The shy guy has a new game for us in about 15 minutes. He's refusing to tell us anything about it, which is equal parts exciting and concerning.

He did tell me something about it yesterday. Would you have forgotten? It went in one year. I went, because I remember hearing and going, yeah, it sounds fun. And then as soon as I said sounds fun, the whole. thing left my mouth, gone. But you know what, that's a sign of, Rowan? That's a sign of absolute trust

that you didn't need to nitpick, drill down, because you know, your boy's got you. I would never nitpick, shy guy. Oh, see, I learned that the hard way. Two years, I spent nitpicking him. I've only just realized, ah, he's pretty good at his job. Let him go. I'll let him go. You got let me fly.

Pick her! You can't let me fly! It's a great movie, by the way. Isn't it such a good movie? Terry! I do my first desk. up. What movie is this? The other guys.

It's so funny. Mark Wahlberg, Willfair. I reckon that might be Mark Wahlberg's best. It's a note here from Dirty Mike in the voice. What are we doing? Are we quoting the movie now? We're doing quotes? No, we're doing the quote.

No, we can do quotes. I'm very happy to keep quoting. We could do quotes? No. Did you just yell America? A lion in the middle of the ocean going up against a 60-pound tuna with me and all my tuna friends. You lose that battle. Everything.

Every day you lose that battle. Did that go the way he thought it was? Nope. Day or no plan of shit! Sorry, guys. Sorry, got me going. I don't know what we're going off. Rain us in.

Yeah, talk about the kick cat heist. Guys, 12 tons of kick cat bars have been stolen in a chocolatey heist. Sorry, how many tons? 12 of them. 12 tons of kick cat bars. 413,793 units of kick cats stolen. Now, you times out by four because the kick cat has four. Fingers.

Yeah. Millions of fingers. Million-ish. They're kick-cat be really fingering. You have been on the record to say, your fingers be fingering. Well, unfortunately, Nestle's kick-cat fingers ain't be fingering. They don't be doing the fingering. And sorry, where are we?

We are in Europe. Somewhere in Europe. Poland. Poland. Are they a big kick-cat eating community? Sounds like it. Nestle said, we've always encouraged people to have a break. with Kit Kat.

Take a break, take a Kit Kat. But it seems that these thieves have taken the message too literally and have made a break with more than 12 tonnes of our chocolate. Oh, I love the puniness of this story. But I thought we were over massive heists in Europe. I thought the Louvre people, having been caught, you know, those four blokes that robbed the Louvre, made off with millions. I thought they got caught and that put all the thieves on notice.

They went, all right, we won't do the Louvre. we will rob a KitKat factory? What, truck? I was in transit. They stole the truck. All right, from one more Mark Wahlberg movie to another. Oh, my apology. It's an Italian job.

Oh, my God, I read this wrong. It left a factory in central Italy. On the way to Poland. The Italians stole it. You're mates. They boosted it in transit. Yeah, boosted in transit. From Italy.

Is that where Kit Katz are made? Well, I guess over there, yeah. You're telling me Kit Katz. are being pumped out from various locations. They are made in 16 different countries globally. A major factory in UK, Australia, Japan and Italy. Oh no,

so does it potentially stand to reason the other major exporters will also be targeted. Well, maybe. You know what I'm saying? Any word on the thieves? Still missing. They are worried about distribution over Easter. They are concerned.

Kit Kat Egg. So they're taking the chunkies? I love the chunkies. I love the chunkies. How good the chunk is my servo snack of choice. You get in the share bars? No. Oh, a share bar, but just for me. Yeah.

This is Jess and Rowan. Shy guy. Sweet, gorgeous, darling shy guy has a new game for us. Yep. And I think this game show music is seduced. But that will make sense. Where are you going to play? It's seduced.

Seductive. Just kiss me, whatever. Whatever. Stop trying to make everyone kisses. Sorry, sorry, sorry. All right. This is like a this or that. So would you take a million dollars or, and I'll give you the ore, okay?

Sure. So would you take a million dollars or flip a coin for $5 million? I'd do the mill. A meal is a lot to get up front. You're absolutely right. If it was 100 grand, five mill, I'd flip the coin. I would usually flip the coin. Yeah, okay.

Because, you know, I had nothing to start with anyway. Didn't have it, yeah. But the state of my finances right now with the renovation. I think I'm taking the mill also, should I go. 80% of people would also take the mill. And these are people that I've surveyed. Have you said? Yeah, I have, yeah.

What do you mean? Have you done your own family feud style surveys? Survey me? Yeah, you weren't. Well, because you were going to play, but then it was too chaotic to have three of you doing it. Anyway, next one. Would you take a million dollars or get out of jail free card? So a million dollars or get out of jail free card?

Do you mean literally? You can commit a crime and just be like, here you go. Oh. Ooh. That's spicy. Give me the jail card. I don't think I'm, look, I'm trying to be all like sassy and savage. I'm too much of a goody tissue.

I've got a copy of like a pop in the middle of the eyes. I don't think I'll ever end up behind bars. I'll take the million. Thank you. But listen, you could do like something. You're going to get done for assault. Any crime. What about like?

No, but he said pop people between the eyes. You could steal 10. What crime would you like to get it? And then get out of jail and get it. I'm swift enough to get away with 10 mil. You could figure it. What if you had like a multi-national, well, I'm not that smart,

but like a drug syndicate? Yeah, I think I've gone too practical. I don't know what crime I could pull off. Yeah. That'd earn me a million. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I got you. You both keep the mill.

No, no, he's getting to get out of jail. He'll work out later. I want the card, yeah. Okay, 89% of people will take the mill and ignore the card. Next one. Cowards. Would you take a million dollars

or have the ability to talk to animals? Oh. I'd be chatting. Animal. I'd be chatting for sure. Do you know how much my two-year-old would already think I'm her hero? But can you imagine if I could get a little orca to come up and give her a little like tail-lack? But Lucia can't understand it.

No, no, but if I could ask the animal to perform for my kid, I'd be a hero forever. Okay. I think I would like to talk to animals. But I feel like if I had, let's just say I had a cat in the house and a dog in the house, I reckon I'd get sick of them because they would be talking. It's like another person. And you're right, the things my dog probably would share. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

How sad he is every time he's left alone. How much he's busting to go for a wee when he's stuck in the apartment. Could be quite depressing. Yeah, like, you know I want one of those Bernese mountain dogs, those big 60 kilo dogs. They like make a lot of noise. They make a little noise. What's he saying? What are they saying?

But you know what I think he's saying? I love you, Daddy. Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. I think, yeah, no, animals. It's got to be the animals. Well, 62% of people that I surveyed, so they'll take the million. Idiots.

Yeah, no, but it's getting lower, have you noticed? It's a past couple of the high 80s. So would you take a million dollars? Or own an invincibility cloak? Do you mean invisibility? Invisibility? Because that's two different things. Invincibility means similar.

Like in Harry Potter. Invisibility. One of those. Nah, I don't need invisibility. I'll take a million. Give me the cloak. What do you mean? You're such a big carry.

Do you like eyeballs on you? But I'd like to know what's going on in rooms that when people don't know that you're around. Wouldn't you like? Right to know. Well, 52% of people will take the cloak. Yeah. Clogue stuff.

Basically half. All right. A million dollars. Imagine the meetings and stuff you could get into and you hear about all these like things that you're not meant to know. But to what end, Rowan? To what end? How are you going to action that information? Such and such a selling this and this and this and this.

And then what are you going to do with that information? Buy the stock, sell it off. And there's no proof that it's inside of trading because guys, you weren't there. So true. The invisibility cloak. We'll do one more. Okay, yeah, this guy like this game. Would you rather a million dollars or take 10 million, but you need to give up a finger.

Yeah, I don't need all my fingers. Give up a finger or have it like... Can I pick the finger, though? Safely, it'll be removed. Can I pick the finger? Yeah, you can pick the finger. Give me my money. Yeah, 100%.

I don't reckon I need maybe the Rudy. I don't want to be flipping off people anyway. So then you're always walking around like this? Yeah, giving the rock. Is that rock? No. That's about it. You don't put down the other one.

How do you do rock? Oh, the ring finger. You want to get rid of the ring finger? No, I like my ring fingers because I have nice rings. Oh, like the reverse barracuda. Do I take the pinky? I think pinky's important for granted. That's a whole other conversation itself.

But yeah, I think we both agree. Yeah, you figure it out. 64% of people I surveyed would still take the million over losing finger. Really? I reckon I'd give you most of my toes for five million. Although, go about your day. Nothing changes you get a mill. Like.

Yeah. Yeah. Is it taxed? What are you taking? No tax. So just 10 in the bank? Wow. All right, one more quick on.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Would you rather take a million dollars or breathe underwater? Ooh. I don't really care. I would like to breathe underwater. I don't care for the breathing underwater. Yeah, and is it breathing underwater mean you're going to put gills in my neck? Because that's not cute.

No, you can just do it. Like, I don't know. Like Aquaman. What's under there? I'm scared of the deep blue sea. It's just fish. Yeah. I think Godzilla's living under there.

70% of people would take the million. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Jess and Rowan. Gen Z, they're doing something. They're all going digitally minimalist. Cool. This is a new thing taking over TikTok,

teens and 20-somethings sharing how peaceful and productive they are by keeping their phones on D&D. Of course, do not disturb for 24 hours of the day. Just non-stop D&D. Non-stop D&D. Their attitude is, I'll get back. to that text, I'll even call you back on my time.

I don't want to see mum calling at 2.15. No, no, no. When I want to check my phone, I'll check my phone. That might have been an hour later. I'll call mum back then. I think it's good. I don't hate the logic about this constantly on-demand culture we live in. I like that.

You know, the idea that if someone texts you, you got to reply within 15 minutes, because it is pretty well accepted. We're all on our phones. You know, why is it taking you two days to reply? Yeah, yeah. But also, if it's going to take me two days, it's going to take me two days. Yeah, I kind of wish I had. I don't have the mental capacity or the bandwidth to respond to this right now.

I wish I had it when I was like 18 because it wouldn't have seemed so desperate to chicks. App. You're only seeing it when you are actually. Yeah, on my phone rather than just like, dedicating some time. Bing, oh, back, reply. How interesting is this, a study out of the University of California. On average, if you are in the middle of a task, Rowan, you get distracted by your phone. You get distracted by your phone.

Maybe a notification pops up or someone calls you. Once you get back to going to that task, it takes you 23 minutes to like rev back in, rev back up to actually being focused on that task again. So if you get pulled away, it's taking you almost half an hour to refocus. So you were just saying the other day, you know, doing some cleaning up or whatever, if you get distracted from that task, forget about it. My phone was in the other room while I was cleaning up. By accident.

Yes. But it has to be, so you can focus. So the chance to see is they might be onto something. If you think the phone is my biggest cause of distraction, give this a go. Put your phone on D&D, then go to sleep. Don't take it off. I've got a few constant D&D friends that are like my age that just don't ever take it off, ever. My issue is I always go, what if there's emergency?

How many times has there been an emergency? But what if there's an emergency? But what if there is an emergency, Rowan? Yeah. Sometimes I try and go for the unplugged walk. And Angus is always like, no. No. Just take your phone.

If you've got the kid and the dog, you got to take your phone. He's got the kid with you. I got the kid with me, exactly. Oh, my man, goes for walks without his phone. It goes to accuse me. Oh, my God. What if he gets into strife, Richard? What are you doing?

Put it in your pocket, mate. It's not hard. It's an iPhone. Anyway, do what. Maybe do it if you do have the task. Have you got a task at hand? D&D. Are you D&D and Shrugger?

I don't. I don't really know how it works. I don't get it. You don't know how it works? If I don't want to, I just put it on. I just put it on. What? No, like I put it on, but notifications still come through.

It, like, ignores it. Ah, I think you need to. You know, that's the good thing about D&D as well. If you've got someone in your favorites, I'm pretty sure they can punch them. Yeah, yep, yep, yep. So you could put your mom in your favorites and that's what it is. But I appreciate, airplane mode. It's the same thing.

What about you, Babs? You just so whimsical you don't even know what your phone is? I put D&D on. Sorry, that was a weird noise. That was a lot of sass. Sorry. I would do not disturb on like two hours before I go to bed. Yeah, that's like the wind down.

Mature of you. Very mature. You're making your bracelets and your key hands and stuff. She did it digitally minimalist. That's great. Maybe it could all be a little bit more digital minimal. I agree. This is Jess and Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, guys, we need a $10,000. We need a $10,000 so soon. We had a nine yesterday. That is redemption round. Emily, do you think? think you can get the $10,000 for us today? God, I hope so.

God, I hope so. Emily, it's the last day of March, you know? I know. It's the end of the first quarter. We would really like to round it out with a $10,000 winner. What do you want to spend the money on? Well, I just got engaged, so I would put it on the wedding. Congratulations.

Thanks. Yay. Your pal jess is a celebrant. Just putting it out there. Just putting it out, man. You'll need the 10. grand. Yes, I do.

Amen. Emily, that's so, so exciting. The letter you are going to work with today, my darling, is P. P for perfect match, which I'm sure you found in your partner. Okay? Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see.

Are you ready to rock? Yes, nervous, phone ready. You got it. You got it, you got a bad. Channel that, channel that into your lungs and vocal calls. You can also win this. and then not tell him, that's all right. You can do that.

Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter P, M. Yes, call it a name. A herb. Parsley. A zoo animal. Platopause. A shoe brand.

Puma. Something in the bathroom. A plunger. A car part. A plug. A male actor. A... I don't know.

Paul Walker. A flower. A posy? An instrument. Piano. Man. If we had not had that timer. And M could have done it at our own speed.

Well, I think that's the other game with. Yeah, most people could have probably done it. But you were really good. You were good? Just slow. Babe, slow. Too slow. Slow, Emily.

Slow Emily. But I got all ticks here, Rowland. Oh, you, okay with plug? Oh, I don't know. I don't know car stuff. I would assume. Is it normally a spark plug? Like, it's like, if it's a something plug, I normally think you would go,

oh, I need, like, if you went to a car dealership, oh, a mechanic said, I need a plug, you go, for what? Yeah, that, I love that. So maybe no, no, no, that's all right then. Slow answer there, too, Emily. That was slow. What else have you got? I could have said petrol tank.

That's very, opposed he's a flower? Posey is. Okay, yeah, tick. One, two, three, five, six. Six. Okay, good. You got six. Could have had piano, but Emily, what were you? Too slow. Slow to answer.

Slow to answer as well. Jesus Christ, Emily. God love you. Okay, start saving so you can afford me at your wedding. Yeah, and then start saving for the wedding. And then we'll start saving for the wedding. And then we'll start saying. The flowers and the photographer. Oh, my God, the flowers.

Oh, forget about it. This is a little hack. Just go to a place that has a garden. I take them. And then you can, like, have fewer flowers. Oh, I was going to steal the flat. No, I'm going to get married in the garden. Well, she won't take a time.

Wedding's in 2031. Obviously, slow Emily's getting married later. God, you have fun, Emily, so we can get you the money. Thanks, Emily. Good on your job. Congratulations. Okay, back for $10,000. Do you know what we need?

Emily needs to play again in a couple of months after having about three double espressoes. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it'll catch up. She was good. She was good. Yeah, she was good.

All right, 8 a.m. for our last time in March. Yep. We'd love to give it away. Next, I got pissed off at a guy at a cafe. Oh, what's new? She's mad all the time. What is new?

What is new? This is Jess and Rowan. I seem to be getting mad at a lot of things. And I'm not an angry person. So you've seen around and I want to say hi. Just say hi. I won't get, I won't bite. But things tick me off quickly.

It's nice for you to clarify that because, yeah. We built a whole segment called Rowan Rance because there were too many opportunities not to brand. And your passion. It's passion. To be honest, this could have been a rant, but I'm just going to bring it up now because otherwise we'll be here forever doing rants. We can't do a rant today. One of the pillars of this program is positivity.

Can I just say quickly, I think if you're at a cafe and I left you were booked by the cafe or the restaurant to play music, you're not to play any music. Let's just start it there. Okay. Having breakfast my buddy Carson another day. It was great. He'd broken up with his misses. Sorry, Carson. And I was consoling him.

Remember the tiramisu? I was about to say, wasn't there a whole thing? Yeah, the tiramist. Yeah. Oh, I think, oh, sorry, brother. Why did I say that? Did you? Did you cause that?

No, I didn't cause it. No, I didn't cause it. No, are you sure. You were a good friend. We were sitting outside. It was awesome. You know, it'll soothe your soul, some scrambled eggs. Yeah, of course.

And then we were sitting outside. It's lovely time. This bloke comes up, sits kind of next to us on the table outside. That's fine. They're there to be used. He had a guitar with him. and some headphones. So maybe he was wanting to learn a song.

That's fine. But he didn't start learning a song. It's like all he was doing was rock it out. He was strumming. What's that cool when you do that when you're learning a new instrument? He's just learning guitar scales. Jess, when I say it was this for 15. He's got the headphones on?

No, he was like listening. I think he was trying to like, I don't know, compose a Mozart thing in his head while he was just pissing Carson. And I, Carson and I? Did you say something to him? I kept going. He! But like I was like, we looked at it. I was like, is he spoke for real?

Do you find it really challenging? I went to a funeral once and I was sat next to a bloke who had gum. Yep. And he just kept. up chewing like a cow. See, that's ignorant. How do you say to someone, stranger? Yeah.

Stop that. I actually don't know. It's like talking in the cinema. Yeah. Being rude in public like your mate. Stop that. I don't actually know how to broach those conversations. Because it started out on the fight.

He was listening to something on his phone with it up to his ear and it was too loud anyway. I was like, we were like, oh, it's kind of annoying, but it's fine. Went to his van, came out with a guitar. Acoustic guitar. You know what? He looked at you in person and went, you know what these boys need? Back in track. Stop that.

Like, just awful. Can I ask you this? I just want to say, don't ever play instruments unless you booked at a cafe. Thank you very much. If he was good, if he was some John Butler Trio sort of vibe and he was doing a full song. Yeah, that would be different. Different. Completely different.

So now it's self-assessment of skill. Self assessment of skill. Okay. If you, maybe, and look, he could clearly play. He could actually clearly play. Are you sure? But he was like running through some sort of bullshit pentatonic scale. You've got to keep the basics sharp, Rowan.

Oh, keep the basics sharp at home. What are we doing? So did he order breakfast or coffee? He might have had a coffee. I couldn't, I was too busy, like, trying not to internally explode. Just the poor man. The red mist had come over, Rowan. I had this beautiful steak and eggs.

This lovely, lovely breakfast. Carson's crying. What's crying. And then I'm like, am I going to flip this table on this poor guy? Yeah, you can't listen to Carson. sharing his woes. You're too mad at the bloke with the guitar. Carson's like, tell me what was going on.

And then he would, we'd kind of, halfway through, start laughing. But it wasn't about her, because it was sad. It was about this bloke. Practicing his scales. What do you say to that? I don't, I genuinely don't know. Hey, mate, could you shut up?

You say that? I don't know. I don't think you can. You can't. He's doing his own morning. I've once had, me and my friend Maddie were out. Maybe you could have used this. Okay.

Oh, yeah. What are you ate? We were out for breakfast as well. Breakfast is a controversial time. We hadn't seen each other in a while, and I'm an excitable person. We're chatting away. I'd been all of six minutes. Coffees hadn't even arrived, Rowan.

Old lady sauntered up to our table, bent down to get at our eye level and said, ladies, I don't need to hear your whole conversation. Oh, God. Oh, my God, Roe. She may as well have pulled out a wet fish and slapped me across the face. So maybe you could have done that. Really? Gone over.

Lent over? Real condescending powers. Really? And gone, hey, mate, I don't need to hear you practicing your scales. Then walk away. I'm about to throw you on the road. Are you kidding? She did not.

When did she say this? She did. This was, this was been last year. Yeah, it was horrific. Well, did you apologize? What did you do? Yes, because Maddie and I both just such. That would have, that would have thrown me.

I would like, you can shut them. It was so. I would talk louder now, thanks. Shocking. Jenny. I know, because then she left a little bit later. And the classic, like, oh, all the things we should have said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's literally what I did with a guitar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is Jess and Rowan. Ozzies are resorting to cooking their own petrol, especially for diesel. It's giving Breaking Bad. Someone here wrote, it's giving Mad Max. I've only seen Mad Max once. I don't remember them cooking their own petrol.

Apparently, the Sunshine Coast local Bruce, done. You'd remember him from the Big Brother. The latest season. You didn't watch it? I am. No, I didn't. Never have watched Big Brother, but I remember someone called Bruce making headlines.

Did we like Bruce? Was he the PDA guy in the Big Brother house with that girl? What does he mean? Public display of affection. The one that would make it out in the beanbags. Yeah. He wasn't the one who had some of the misogynistic old school. That wasn't him?

Oh, it was him? Oh, the tall, blue tall bus guy. I knew I remember. but the name and I didn't feel warm about it. He was into like, she should stay home and make babies for me, right? That was his vibe. Yeah. Why do you want to talk about him today, Rowell?

Well, apparently he's making his own diesel. Do you want to hear it? Sure. I don't know how. I really hoped it wasn't going to come to this, but here we are. Cooking up our own diesel. Because politely, three bucks 15 for a liter of the dino juice is daylight robbery. I'm not paying it.

So if you see me ripping down the main strip, smelling like a fish and chip shop, just mind your own, yeah? I'm not paying it. Just mind your own, yeah? Rowan, how does one make their own diesel? Well, it sounds like he's putting, like, right now he's doing a 50-50 mix of vegetable oil with diesel. Is that okay? It doesn't feel okay, but no, neither do I.

Or sump, what's sump oil? I don't know if I'm taking chemistry advice from a dude on TikTok. Especially that guy. Or us. You can make by a diesel with vegetable oil. and like bio diesel. It's 50 degrees.

Oh, he's fully doing chemistry. Oh, so you actually cook it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, then you make a diesel. This is feeling like an explosion waiting to happen. Surely this is not a thing. Oh, Big Brother contested now dead. Have you seen any of the comments?

Like, surely someone has said, no. He's just, because he was on Big Brother, just been picked up. Yeah. And fuel crisis. Oh, absolutely. Don't get me wrong. We're not dismissing the. fuel crisis. Isn't Albo saying something about that soon?

It gets cheaper tomorrow. Gets cheaper tomorrow, guys, by 30 cents, doesn't it? 26 cents. What? That's all random. I did see a graphic on the screen before that said if you had like a big, one of those big land cruiser, Pradoes, like the big ones are thrown into series. It's like a full tank.

It's like $20 less, which is like $20 is good, but can you do a bit more than that? I know. Hey, we'll take anything we can, but at the end of the day, we're still struggling. And a smaller car, like we have a... But if you're having a Prada, that's like $200,000. Yeah, like you got the money for it And I think I think I saw it on The smaller one like a Yaris, like a little

Toyota Corolla or something It's like 10 dollars less It's funny, my mum went shopping over the weekend And she was like, I was stuck in traffic I thought everyone was struggling to pay for fuel And I was like well you were also on the road She's driving? She's driving up souped up beema or was what she driving?

She doesn't take that to the shot's wrong She's worried about someone putting a trolley into her Well that would be big on petrol that one. Side door, yeah, would be I mean I don't know, it's all too much I like my lawnmower I think is around a fuel but I don't want to fill it up because I'd have to do a whole new thing. And Dad was like, yeah, it would be two strokes.

So you have to mix it with the oil. And I said, mix, well, you're going to just start doing with some brew stuff, putting vegetable oil. I said, what do you mean? Oh, he said, well, because it's two stroke. It's a different type of fuel. So you'd have to get this fuel. Then you've got to put this matter.

So you're going to get five liters of fuel. You've got to get 100. And I was like, Richard, shut up. Richard, you got to go back to the old school one where it's just manual and some blades at your push. Since when did you have to put other oil in fuel. See, guys, this is why I'm on the radio talking, pressing buttons. I'm not driving things.

Not driving things and not mowing. I'm not definitely not mowing. And you're not taken to TikTok like silly Bruce. Yeah, a lot of the comments are just like, how's Coco going? Who was the romance he had in the movie? Oh, and she dropped him. Didn't she win? She did win.

Yeah, she got to win, dump his ass. Dumped his ass and won. How good's that? This is Justin Rowland. And this is my blog. Commenced Operation Superstar Brat. Winstacle. To set the scene last Tuesday in the blog, Babs, you shared with us you had reconnected with an old foe.

I'm proud of you. Well, just a girl that I had a stupid falling out with at school. You hated her. I didn't hate her. It was just, I don't even remember what it was about, but it was when I was in maybe year 10 or year 11. Like six, seven years? Yeah. Seven years ago.

It's a long time. Yeah. Well, for me, that's a pretty big job. Of course. You're only 25. 24. 24, 25. next month, the month after.

Anyway, you see her in the wild. Yes, I did. And the very brave, mature part of you said, you know what? I was like, I'm just going to text her and see if she'd be keen to get coffee with me. And she said she was. So we planned and we actually went on a coffee date on Sunday. Okay. So it did happen.

Really proudy. It did happen. How was your mental space leading into that? Like, did you approach it almost like a date? Were you worried about what you were wearing? Were you worried about flow and conversation? and what was your prep? I was like, I don't know what I'm going to say to her.

How do you ask people what they've been doing for the past? I said, stop smiling. I'm deliberately not saying anything. Leave me out of it. I didn't know what to say to her. Yeah, where do you start? Also, I was like, I don't know if we should address that we had falling out in the first place.

Stop laughing. It's not funny. Don't look at it. Also, not sexy. Talk to me. I see it. I don't even know what I was about to now. So you were wondering whether you addressed that there was ever an issue, or do we just start clean slate?

I thought I would be more a bit anxious and weird driving to, you know, the coffee. But I actually wasn't. I was feeling pretty good. This is amazing. This is the mature brave part of you. Yeah, I was like, this is going to be good. I can, you know, this is, yeah. Stop looking at him.

I can't. I'm literally not. He's basically, he's taking his headphones off. I'm docking your pay. You're not. Back. Yes, Fab. So you arrive.

Well, I tried to arrive at the coffee shop, but I didn't realize there was a whole marathon. Like in front of where it was, and I went, oh, no. So all the roads were closed, and I didn't know what to do, obviously. And I could see that she was texting me as being like, oh, I can't find a park. I don't know if this is going to happen. And I was like, oh. Oh, God, we're so close. And yet, maybe it's not going to happen.

Yeah. So eventually we did both find a park, and we kind of met each other in the middle. And the whole, you know, saw each other and be like, hi. Yeah. It said you hug, whatever, we did. And yet, from then, it just kicked off. And we just started speaking like nothing had happened. So you didn't address the feud?

Didn't address it until later. We just, yeah, we're just talking. Who brought it up? I think I kind of said, oh, it's really nice to see you. And she said, yeah, likewise. I'm actually, like, she said she felt pretty sad that everything happened. And, yeah, it was just really lovely. We just talked to that.

Oh, my gosh. How wonderful. Yeah. There's hope. What? You as well. I don't know why it's fine. How immature.

I'm not laughing because he's laughing. I'm really proud. Excuse me, it's a beautiful story of reconciliation. I'm really proud of you. Why are you crying? I don't know. I'm so much. I don't know.

You guys. We are so proud of you, Bad. You guys are getting stuck in me. And then I'm like, be sensible, be mature because you're actually proud of that. I'll look over it. He's like trying not to. I love it because you're laughing.

And then he's like, so I was like, like, don't look at anyone. Look over you. You're 12 years old? They both are. Oh my God, I haven't had a laughing at this in years. But it's not funny. No, it's not.

But it's great. But it's, I'm really proud of you. But the problem is shy guy. Don't blame shy guy. I was like, don't look at shy guy. You're the grown up in the room. Oh my God. Sorry.

Have you planned for another catch up? Well, we actually, because we had a really shared interest of books. So we kind of were like, it's not funny. We had a shared interest of books, and so we've decided we might start a book club. Oh, my gosh. That is nice. That is really nice. And that's a huge level jump for someone you're not actually spoken to for ages.

Yeah, so it went really well. Very well. I wish there was more to say on it, but it went too well. It went too well. It just was like easy as and... Yeah. Rollin. Oh, I can't ask a question.

So you're going to catch up again next week? Probably not next week, but we did say we should do this again. And we kind of went, this was really. lovely. Either we start the book club or we catch up for coffee. Were there any other girls that you fought with in high school that we extend olive branches that do? Maybe they could join the book club. Probably not. Okay. Not that any come to mind. Do you have any more grudges of anyone? That's a great origin story for the book club. Yeah, it's good. Not really. That was kind of bit. We kind of did talk about if we're in contact

with anyone from school. We're both kind of like, no, not really. The we used to hate each other club. That's good. That is a great club. One final question. Does she know what you do for a living and that she is now fodder for our radio show. She, I think she did. Okay, great. Nice. But I didn't tell her. Well now you can tax it up that coffee.

Yeah. It was work. This is Jess and Rowan. 04-8-88-1-069. Hi, the idea of meeting an old school classmate. When there was a falling out. That is great. Make it work by meeting in the middle.

Perfect. Regards. Christopher. Thanks, Chris. Laura, good friend of the show. Proud of you Babs. Book Club is a top-tier idea. Dead Girls Book Club to start.

Dead Girls Book Club? Dead Girls Book Club? I'm not, I don't know if that's a play on Dead Poets Society? Or does she mean like girls who were once dead to you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Mel has text. Rowan would have been one of those kids that couldn't keep a straight face if he was getting told off at school. This is exactly what it was.

I'd like to make a formal on-air apology to everyone listening. No wonder you hated Mr. Robinson. Mr. Robinson probably hated you. Because he's trying to tell you off, get you to sharpen up. He's giggling in his face. Give me that get out of jail free card. Mr. Dushberg. 04AA-88-106.9.

Save our number. We love your contributions. Because every contribution has a chance to win the cooker of the week. $500 to Health Lab elevate your everyday rituals with premium plant-based and gluten-free snacks from Health Lab. Hell yeah. So thank you to all those contributions. This is Jessen Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. Yes, and play for $10,000 at 8 o'clock is Alicia. Hello. Hello. Hello, how you going? Good. How are you going? I'm excited and nervous. Okay, good.

It's a good combination because we can use that as fuel. Yep. Trending topic at the moment. But the last time in March, Alicia, what do you want to spend our 10 grand on? I want to take my kids on a holiday. They're very keen to go in a tube and go swimming with crocodiles. Rock on. Where does one do something like that up north, I imagine?

Yes, I'm pretty sure it's Cams. Okay. Darwin's fun. Darwin is a fun time. Darwin is also good. Maybe one of those places is definitely on the list. All righty. Well, let's get you to Croc Country.

The letter you're going to work with. Pretty solid. It's H. H for holiday. All right? Okay. Yep. Ready to go?

Yes. Your time will start after the first question. Starting with the letter H, we need you to name. A beer brand. H. A sport. Hockey. A country.

Holland. An animated movie. Pass. A type of weather. Hot. A technology brand. A HP. A noun.

A high. A musical instrument. Harp. A Marvel actor. Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth. A mode of transport. A helicopter.

An animated movie. Oh my gosh. Oh. Oh, dear, dear. Not a bad one. Not bad at all. Eight. Do I get eight?

I don't think you can pay Hemsworth. No. Is that the one? Yeah, I've got that one. A noun. Did you say hi or hike? Hi. I said hi.

I said hi. High is an adjective, isn't it? Unless you're referring to getting high. Is that then a noun? Sure. Because you've gotten high. Shish, she said sure. Yeah, sure.

I don't know. It's both an adjective and a noun. And a noun? So it is. Is that how you use me? High as a noun. Oxford Dictionary says it's both adjective and noun. Okay.

Wait, do we get animated movie? No. No. And you said Chris Hanswerf for a... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Oh, no. Oh, eight's good.

Eight's still good. Good. Had Harry Stiles. Hugh Jackman. Yeah. Marble actor. What's Harry Stiles in Marvel? I think he's in that one with Angelina.

What's that one? What's that one called? The big... It's an all-star cast. Eternals, that's it. Angelina. Got you. Got you, got you, got you.

Didn't get great reviews. Happy for Outtrain, Dragon, Hercules. Okay, well, eight's good. Eight's solid. Admirable Alicia, but you got to pay for the crocs yourself. Sorry, darling. That's all right. Thank you for joining the show.

Bye, bye. All right. Not a bad one to end off. No, no. And you know what? Tomorrow, April Fool's Day, we don't want no fools, though. We want winners. We want winners.

We want winners. We go again for 10 grand. Absolutely, we do. And next. We talk about an email you are avoiding in your inbox. Sitting in my inbox for a number of weeks, Rowan. Okay. Could change my life.

Talk about that after Bruno Mars. Jess and Rowan. This is Jess and Rowan. You know those swabs you can do these days? Actually, it's not a swab, it's a spit test. You can do this thing. You spit in a tube. You send it off, I think somewhere in Ireland, I think is the...

Yeah, it is. I recently just did mine. Like very recently. Shut. Oh, what? Yeah, within the last couple of months, I've done it, yeah. Literally. I think I set it off before the show started, though.

Okay. I actually got my results back probably a month ago, maybe. We're weird. We're in sync. Rowan, I too did mine in December. It might have been December. What are the chances that? How have we not talked about this?

I don't know. The reason I bring it up to you, my friend, is because I think, you know, you and I relatively new to this program. I've been mates a long time, but I now feel compelled to bring my buddy in on something because I need your help. It's okay. I mean to help. I've got the results of my Ancestry.com that I sent off in December.

Oh, you're a teller. Or are you? Sure I got. Does that what we're doing? I am so nervous because the boy who used to sit in your seat, Rowan. Identity Christ. I used to joke. Because, yes, I'm very proud of my heritage, part Italian, part Maltese.

Very proud of my ethnicity. And I lean hard, particularly, into the Italianness of myself. Definitely a hard leaner, yep. I'm a hard leaner. I love it. I love Italian culture, obviously the food, all these things. That we all. And he used to joke, wouldn't it be funny if you weren't?

Yeah, yeah. And I don't know if that has done a number on my psyche row. So mean. How dare he? How dare he? I finally sent off the spit test December. I've had the kit for about two years. Oh, really? It's always one of those admin jobs.

I just never got around to it, and I thought it would be a much more cumbersome process. It's really easy. I finally opened the packet. Lucchia. I was at daycare one day, and I went, you know what, today's the day. Nice.

And then I went, oh, it's a bloody three-step process. It's fine. Bang, bang, send it right, yep. The results have been sitting in my inbox for eight weeks. So have you got them there? Can I read them? I don't know. I always should do it on the air. I am so nervous it's going to come back saying you're 98%.

British. British. Like. But we still love you for you? Yeah, but would I love me for me, Rowan, everything that... You have to just work on that, I think. We just have to go talk to someone about it. I'm just so nervous.

It's going to completely change my perception of who I am as a person. It feels really big. It feels really big. So for eight weeks, this email from Ancestry.com, has said, we've got your results. And I haven't... Did you start it so you know where it is? Haven't clicked it.

Yeah, okay. Because I've had multiple emails up until this point. We've received your sample. Yeah, you get all there. We're extracting your DNA. But this last one that I did note many moons ago, we've got your result. Mine wasn't anything.

Mine was literally what we thought it would be, which is where they got all the combo. from and took them to Tasmania. Like, that's literally what we're like... You knew your... Yep, yep, northern England. What inspired you to do it? Well, my mate Dylan and I were having a few bevvvies,

and I was like, it is interesting, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I was just there and I just bought it at the pub. It's the big concepts when you're on the drink, isn't it? It's like, where do I come from? Dill was like, oh, yeah, I'll buy it too, so Dylan got his as well. And the whole time we were like talking about... Oh, set mine, set mine.

Yeah, I spat in his, he spat in his, he spat in your samples. You know, we got another drink. So 13, 1060. Yeah. It's been eight weeks for me. I've avoided opening an email. I always do this. Sometimes I'll get Angus to be like,

can you just read this? So is this a no for being on air, like me reading it out on the air? Right now. Tomorrow? Maybe. Oh, maybe's good. I won't be rude.

I'll obviously like... What if it comes back? Then we just have to work through it. Even if it says like you're Swiss. I'll be like, what? Swiss is cool. Who am I? Isn't Roger Federer Swiss?

He is dope. He's dope. You know what they say about being Swiss? The flag's a big plus. That's a full. flag joke because the Swiss flag Oh no, got it because obviously it gets rare And then you said big plus.

You've got the plus. See? Oh my God, maybe there's some Swiss in me. 13, 1060. How long have you been avoiding? Grow up, you two. I haven't done anything. Wow, it's always my fault.

How long have you been avoiding something? Maybe it is something in the inbox. Maybe it's a hard conversation, whatever. How long have you been avoiding something? Yep. Or I realize it's a little niche. Okay. Have you discovered something from ancestral?

com. Oh, yeah, great. You know, did you think you were Italian Maltese and then it turned out? Oh, no. Something else. How long have you been avoiding? I'm Dutch. How long have you been avoiding something?

Oh, ancestry. com, yeah. Maybe you found out your dad's not your dad. Oh, your mom's in the money. You know, because it does the linkage to family members. Auntie Louise is my mother? Yeah, that sort of stuff. Ooh, that'd be juicy.

Do that net. This is Jess and Rowan. I'm asking, have you discovered something from Ancestry.com or another sort of DNA test. I finally spat in a tube, which is how you do it. It's quite a bit. Yeah, you got a really, you're like four of those.

You'll really, yeah, you're like, swirl your mouth around. I'm actually, you got a lot in there. And you can't eat or drink for, I think it's half an hour prior. Yeah, yeah. I think it skews the results. Oh, she had a chicken fajita. That's skewed, whatever.

She's Mexican. Her ethnicity is. Wow. But I'll be honest with you, Rowan. Me old mate, Ducko, he did a number on my psychology. Wow. Joking that, wouldn't it be funny if you were not Italian? Classic Queenslander.

Bro, my whole, I really lean-hearted. My two names Faccione, for God's sake, I've made it. My real, my old. People come to meet minimum once a week. Jess, where's the best Italian? Jess, I've got a date night. I want a pasta. Jess, how do I make pizza?

Imagine it comes back, and I'm not any of those things. The results, Rowan have been sitting in my internet. Vox for about eight weeks. You're from Alaska or something. I'm too nervous that I'm going to have a full identity crisis. Okay. So I thought we could ask the question. Have you found something out?

Good idea. Because maybe it's a cautionary tale and I just delete the email. Good idea. I would be better off not knowing. Dave, good morning to you. Good morning, guys. Dave. So the old spit and a chib, it's worked wonders on my life.

Okay. I was adopted as a child. And when I turned 18, went down the path of trying to find my bowl. parents. And my wonderful partner a few years ago decided out of the blue to give me that test for my birthday present. Nothing really happened to two years. And all of a sudden, I got a match that was really close and really close to home where

I lived. And it's been a hell of a journey in the last 18 months, but I've now found my entire biological family. Wow. Stop it. So they were in your area, Dave. And what they had? Some of them are.

Yeah, I've got an auntie that lives very, very, very, very. close, like surprisingly we haven't crossed paths at some stage. So Dave, had they also done a DNA test so their details were in the system? Like, how did you match? Yeah, yeah. So that's how exactly how it matched up. So I've done the test kind of two years prior and then all of a sudden I had an email one day saying you've got this really close match.

Yeah, yeah. A couple of messages back and forth and realize that it's an auntie and they got in contact with my birth mother and the ball started rolling. and yeah, it hasn't stopped since. Unreal. Thank you for sharing. Thank you, Dave. That's awesome.

Like that. Talk about answers for Dave, having lived so long with him. I've got a message really quickly after I did mine about such and such. They said all these things and I was like, sorry. What, like, I'm your cousin or something? They were trying to find someone and they saw there was a link and I was like, that's not, that's not, what they were saying was not my family.

So close, but not, well, maybe, you know. Now we need to have a conversation with Karen and Richard. Oh, my God, I'm adopted. Sherry, good morning. Good morning. What, what's going on in your life when it comes to Ancestry.com? Well, we sent through The Ancestry.com and there's a really close match to me that could be a sister that I'm completely unaware of. Wow.

What? A sister. We believe it's that close. How does that happen? Are you adopted? No. No. Do we think, Shiree, a parent, how?

had an extra marital affair. Is that what we're getting out with this? I don't know if it was before I was born. And unfortunately, I can't ask my parents because they're both gone now. Oh, sorry to hear that. So, yeah. Are you interested in exploring it, Sheree, or does it feel similar to me? It would just turn the world topsy-turvy, and I don't know if I've got the mental capacity to handle that.

Surely you'd want to know. A big part of me wants to know. And another part of me is like, am I opening up a can of worms that I really don't want? Yes. I wonder if she knows. Does you think she knows? Well, if she's on the system, then she might have got pinged while there's a very close biological match.

Yeah, and it hasn't reached out to Shree anyway. And hasn't reached out to Shree. So that might be a big point. Sheree, that is very. Has she had it for a while and just hasn't looked back on it? She's avoiding that. Well, Sheree, if you, you know, meditate on that and decide you will. come back to us, yeah.

Pursue it. Will you let us know how you go? I will. Thank you, but I have been sitting on this for a couple of years. For a couple of years. Okay, well, we'll circle back

in another couple. Thank you for sharing, Cherie. Okay, so eight weeks for me. That's actually not that long. It's nothing, man. Well, she opened it. She knows. She does know.

But she hasn't reached out. You're right. What if you had a simply? That would be different. That would be much more serious than the, than just the ethnicity. You'd take Greek, would you? Oh, take Greek.

I'll get mistaken for Greek. all the time. Belinda. Hello. Hello, Belinda. Talk to me. What happened with the DNA test? So I did the DNA test about three or four years ago and found out, I've always been like you, Jess, thought I was 100% Italian, or I thought I was 100% Italian. Did the test and it came back that I'm only about 28% Italian.

Okay, yeah, see, Bell, that would we... So what was the... This is what you'll get. What was the 62s, am I correct maths? It was about 41% from the Balkans, so mostly Slovenia. And I do have distant cousins, I think, in Slovenia. Because I know mum had an auntie that lived there. And the rest is just like one or two percent, like German, Poland, just a little bit here and there. So if you're like me, you know, I carry on about how good my lasagna is,

and I wear all the lemons and pizza print. Did you now start looking up, all right, well, what Slovenian people do? And how do I lean into that culture? I haven't done that. I'm still Italian. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are, girl.

This is Jess and Rowan. We were discussing about half an hour ago how I'm avoiding opening an email with DNA results from ancestry.com. It's one of these great websites that tells you where you came from and then links you to anyone in the database that you have a biological connection to. Impressive, yeah. I'm worried it's going to turn my world on its head and say,

you're only half a percent Italian when I've made basically my whole identity that. The best part, I think the best part about Ancestry.com is when it gives you the stories from people you would be most likely related to in the 1700s. That's like one of the best things. Oh, that's cool. As in like your lineage? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think it follows it. I'd have to relook it because I haven't looked at it in a while.

But it was like, I think I was related to this, obviously, convict because I'm Tasmanian. But she like, yeah, this lady who came to Tasmania because she'd stole a loaf of bread and blah, blah, blah, all that goes up. And I was like, oh, wow. And they had all the, obviously if you pay for the premium, you get all the extra. Okay. But there's little bits in there.

And I was like, wow, how fascinating. It's funny to think about your position in the history of time. Yeah. And then all the links to your past that we never have any idea of. Nicole Kidman had the greatest response to the question. If you could have a dinner party, who would, you know, five dream guests? And she said, my ancestors who I never got to meet. That's great.

Them. What a phenomenal response. You picked them over Obama. You know? You would pick them over. Yeah. Like, I love Martha Stewart, but that really made me reflect. Why am I meeting Martha Stewart when I could meet my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandmother.

That's just Eve, but. Nice religious reference. I am a child of Jesus. We're getting a lot of texts. Yeah. Ancestry.com. Shannon has said, my cousin, found out his dad, isn't his dad. Big rift in the family now.

Wow, yep. Crystal said, discovered my 100-year-old grandma had a 96-year-old half-sister. They never knew about one another. Wow. Someone said, Shani, crazy thing I did ancestry.com. And then I ran the DNA through a medical database, found out I had a rare connective tissue Eugene and then I got concerned. Okay, so she found out like medical stuff.

Okay, yeah, right. Gemma, this one's juicy. Okay. My dad was the dad that went to get milk one day when I was young, never came back. One day I searched his name in case law, New South Wales. Ooh. Didn't I find out some juicy tea? Found out that I have Aboriginal heritage that I was not aware of and also found out that my legal last name isn't even my dad's real name.

Have I been living a lie? I'm a fraud, says John. No, you're not a fraud. You didn't know. Danny, how's this one? My husband used to joke that my sister and I had different dads. I'm assuming they looked very different, maybe acted differently. Found out in my late 30s, he was right.

We do have different fathers. God, that's a joke you don't want really to be true. Unbelievable. Sorry, didn't mean it. Take backsies. We had Rihanna as well, who we couldn't have time for on the phone, unfortunately. Her mother-in-law discovered that she had three sisters at the age of 45.

Never knew. Three sisters. Do you know if they did a babbs and got up, met up for coffee? I couldn't get that much information. But I believe there was some sort of coffee arrangement. Can you imagine being 45? Rowan, you're an only child. Yeah.

Allegedly. Imagine finding out in your mid-30s, you had a sibling. Yeah, it'd be interesting. Wouldn't that week you have? Who am I? Be very weird. Like taking now, I don't think I'd like that. I'd be mad at them.

What, the sibling? Yeah. But they've, what if they didn't know? Well, they'd be mad at your parents. I would take it all out on them. This is Jess and Rowan. Hell of a show. Hell of a show, guys.

Hell of a show. I've just given Shy Guy a video to AI check for me because I was about to share it to my story, Rowan. What is it? And the last time I did that, it was AI. What is it? It's a small girl who knows all the words to Frozen, and she's doing like a back and forth with her dad.

It looks legit. It looks legit. Oh, it's probably actually, probably legit. I look at a text in the background. It looks legit. Actually, we're not. What do you mean? We're not.

What do I know? What do I know? Oh, I'm done. Sounds real. I don't think AI can do baby voice or whatever age that is. What do you mean? To do baby dancing, which is the one I felt for.

Music. Music. It's just like a puppetry thing. Puppetry. There you go. Nice. Anyway, so can I share that? I mean, you do you.

It's your story. It's so cute. Lucha is really into Frozen, so I'm just like it's connected. Do you. To my soul. Anyway, wonderful program. If you missed a minute, our podcast lives on the listener app or wherever you get your podcast. We're getting a few messages, Rowan.

Oh, yeah. What about the ancestry again? Yeah, people want you to open it. Me? Yeah. Yeah, we can, okay, we can do that. Man, you better have a psychologist on Stan. There's going to be no set-ups.

There be no gotcha. There's going to gochers. It is April Fool's Day tomorrow. Oh, no, we do it Thursday. No, I don't trust. We can't. We can't. Nothing that comes out of your mouth tomorrow.

Just know that everything on this show will be legit and not a prank. Hang on. Are you into pranks? Are you a silly boy? I'm silly. I'm silly. But I don't really care for brains. What's the, wait a race tomorrow?

Yeah. Very good, Rowan. Is that all the same? Oh, we've got aprons. 5 p.m. If you would like the details. 04AA-18-1069. I'll send you the information because we want a cheer squad.

Wow. It's a column of race. Lying about Jessus heritage. It's going to be a good show tomorrow. Oh, my God. I'm nervous. Hey, if I am not who I think I am, that means my parents aren't who they think they are.

I could crumble my. Entire family. I think it's, I think you'll be okay. Do you think? Yeah. We'll find out tomorrow. Bye, bye, guys. Oh, gosh.

Bye-bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Maca's Bistro at Bernays, Angus Range, is here. Chef's Kiss.