Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - The Producers Dairy | "Trust me sweetheart I was 16"

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

Producer Shy Guy and Producer Babs wrap up the week that was in their diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Jess and Rowan. Let's round up the week. There was. Well, what are we could thin with Jess and Rowan? Doesn't that help? What do I care if you piss on me? Once I'm dirt. I select that, Babs.

Once I'm dirt. I'm dirt. You can piss on me. Huge news if you frequent the hub after the Australian government tightened the rules when it comes to accessing certain adult websites. No, God, please no. No!

Rowan revealed something he did as a teen that he's never told anyone before until now. I remember, like, when I was young, being like, any cheetahs in Lancaster? So I, I like... Small community. Yeah, right, like, in Little and Tasmania. So I registered for Ashley Madison as, like, a 16-year-old. Thinking I'm going to bust my neighbour or my uncle or something.

And I just, like, couldn't get in and I gave up. I think I registered and probably verified and then just didn't get to it. Lost interest. Yeah, and it was like, this is not cool. Oh, my God. And then I remember the link came out and there was a website where you could check if your partner It was registered and I put my email and I was like, oh my God. And it's, I was honest.

Hang on, so you went far enough in the profile process. And I've never told me like that. Every one. That is a great story. So good. Your girlfriend Lucy's being like, Rowan, you're on something explaining to do. Hilarious. Trust me, sweetheart. I was 16.

There must be something in the air this week because Jess came to work showing a little more skin than usual, which caught Rowan's eye. Also, what did you do it over there? with it off the shoulder piece. Oh, what do you think? What you should I do to me? Too much. Too, too... Look that way.

Too tempting. Maybe I didn't look this way. Shiger, how are you? Good, how are you? Yeah, good, thanks. You don't like the shoulder. Oh, that's good. Shoulder the most erogenous zone of...

How do you feel about me? Rubbing it? I'm just tickling it. No. Oh, you know, I want you to be comfortable in the workplace. You know who you do the... Tickles? Oh, listen.

Comfortable in the workplace. Someone thrown on themselves or something like that? Very comfortable about it. A bit of shoulder. No. ULLIS. Well, with the news. Sorry.

The porn block. You get your tools where you can. Maybe that's what it is, bro. Were you looking for shoulder on Porn Hub, were you? Is that better? Yeah, if they've got both shoulders out, too much. Leave something to the imagination, ladies. You'd have to cover it up.

How does this make you feel? Ah, worse. Whoa, ankle. Slow down. You'll take us up here. Oh my God. We're in the Middle East? No, I'm allowed to drive.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was a box office smash when it first hit the cinemas back in the year I was born, 2001. A movie critic made a list of why it doesn't really hold up today, which the guys had a big issue with. I have highlighted all the ones that I disagree with. Eight out of eight, you disagree with. Now, you and I both. So let's go through them.

First one, the movies are very long and require a lot of time in one sitting. It's a good move. takes a while to get through it. I get it. Shut up, move on, right? Oh my God. You don't like it? This era we're living and we can't settle into anything. Agree.

The formal old style dialogue can feel hard to connect with. Well, you clearly aren't intelligent. Oh, sorry, six, seven wasn't in Lord of the Room. Sorry about that, guys. Oh, no. They're taking the Hobbits to Six, seven. Shut up, morons. What else have I got here?

I can't be a blind. No cap, Gollum. I've got a drip. Go. I'm taking the Hobbits to two eyes and guys. Rowan's trying to better himself and he's been going to the gym. He saw a PT which gave him a new workout plan, but man, it's put him in the mood.

So every part of my legs hurt apart from the joints, which is fantastic. Oh, that's good. Like, they had to start making a coffee. Fair enough. She got there first, but I was like, can you move? Like, she was like, I wanted to do it. Sorry, bad, never get in the talent's way.

Don't you know that? Did I just start to go like, give me a go at it first? And then I went, ugh, because she kept going. It was like, oh. Just get a well-targeted elbow into a glute. That'll bucket. glimmer than you happen. And then I started smashing shit in there. It's very dramatic. And then I went, and it was quiet. Then I went, I'm in a mood today, Babs.

And then I grabbed a mug and then my arm hit another mug, smashed the mug. Apparently someone in the office's famous mug. Yeah, famous mug who no longer works with us. But that was the only thing we had remaining of Maria. Good morning to you if you're listening. Not anymore. Maria. I've smashed your mug. Babs being just so silly, immediately started to clean it up. And I respect, I appreciate you. Stop. But then I said, actually, can you come back here, Baz? I can't even really bend over. That's it for this week.

And hopefully we don't have a repeat of what happened when we walked in the studio on Monday morning. There's a vibration in the air, Ro-Roe. I thought it was just a new chair. Did you fart before we walked out of the room before? I actually did. I knew it. I knew it.

I told you. And then you gave us your life story about why I couldn't poo this morning. And then you walked out and I went to, guys, she absolutely cropped us. I wouldn't have said anything if you didn't say vibration. I literally, that was also just a fraudulent sleep. I didn't mean to give myself away, but I'm happy to now put my hand up. I didn't get any of it, thank God. Oh, no, I angled.

I would never aim at you. Oh, just at shy god. I aimed at shy god. Rock one. Fire. Did you hear it or do you smell? No, I snout. Yeah.

But I didn't sound. Soon as you walked out. As soon as you walked out, perhaps just went, I'll be back will suffice. Didn't need your life story. I need a, please. Clearly. What of my great flaws is just thinking everyone needs to know every bodily function.

I'm also wearing denim today. I didn't think it would escape that easily. Oh, it's just stuck in your ass now. I know you like to bang you. Don't stay. See you next week. Bye. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast.

Macca's Bistro at Bernays Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.