Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - The Producers Dairy | "We're a 10 cent show"

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

Producer Shy Guy and Producer Babs wrap up the week that was in their diary!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Jess and Rowan. Let's catch up on the week that was with the diary. Well, what are we getting to be with Jess and Rowan? Good morning, Rowan. How do you do for this fine day? My guts are grumbling? Today I might poo my pants. Rowan's girlfriend, Lucy, is convinced that Rowan received a message from beyond the grave. Ooh.

She said, have you had any, like, messages today? And I said heaps. She went, no, from any kind of signs. I was like, no, Lucy. Like, you go, oh. Yeah, I haven't had a message yet from G-Dad. That was my granddad. Yeah, yeah.

Light starts flickering. And then she goes off her head. And I'm like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then after her, go, because she's so enthusiastic and loved it. And I said, oh, yeah, if it's granddad, stop. Within half a million seconds. Stop. Stop, stop flickering.

Because she went, G-dad knows you're a smart ass. And he knew you would test him. I went, I'm going to wait for him. I went, maybe that is Maxwell. Hi, Maxwell. So she lost her mom. Thank God we were in an empty corner. This was embarrassing.

We role played being drunk in a Macca's drive-thru. Can you work out what we would have ordered? Hi, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get you? Hey, babe! Hi. Got your mid-back Congo peas? Some Congo peas.

A mig-back Congo peas. That is on a bus stop, and I know exactly what you want. You want a big Mac combo, please. That's what I said. Even in your inebriated state. You get it. Still got manners. That's a great.

That's a great. Isn't it so good? Bad. I get a ferrido-frish extra tartar. Sorry, ma'am. Can you just read that order one more time for the tartar? Ferretta. Tata.

That makes me want... I've never even had a Philetto fish, but it makes me want to try. I kind of don't mind the Philo fish. One of my friends, she was on a health kick once, and she read something from like the heart association that if you add lettuce to a Philo-O-fish, it's better for you. Her order would always be very... I'm going, she's blind.

Definitely drunk. You're going to be. Rowan hears with some urinal chat and the unspoken rule of always living a blank urinal between you and the guy next to you. We wondered if the same rules apply in the ladies' room. Perhaps it was that in the ladies with me, with cubicles. She's like, I'm not going right next door to your dress. I always got the same one. Every day.

Yeah, you got the far one. Yeah. One plus the room. Maybe to assert dominance, you would go next to her. Exactly. And then you keep up the chat to really throw it off her gown. I hate that. I know you do.

Hey, babe. I chat under you're in or whatever. If Babs has a particularly strong wee, I'm like, woo, thirsty. Oh, no, bro. She's like, don't talk to me, I said, I can. Oh, thirsty. Just trying to bond.

Oh, that's feral, bro. That's classic farcelling. I can't comment on my friend's stream. No. It's unknown to me. Oh, wait, stream or smell? Stream. I thought you meant.

I don't know how I don't know how I. I said particularly straw. Why did you get smell? I don't know. We're going to be No one in between We debated who on the team gets ready the most efficiently

And turns out we all have different ways of doing it Undergarments for me Then hair and makeup Then any sort of out there Why wouldn't you put your top on first Then your makeup? You get your makeup on the top So if I get those done first

I slip on the outfit I go I look fantastic Whereas sometimes I put the outfit on I go I look like a troll and I change the outfit 15 times. Sometimes I have been known to Winnie the Poet. So T-shirt on with your wang out.

Yeah, sometimes. That is crazy thought. Sometimes. Mostly undies, but if I'm closer to the shirt than the undies, like, for instance, if I haven't put the undies away

and they're still just in the, like, the t-shirt on with your bare bum out. I'm Winnie the Pooh and with my bum out. Shiger, as a methodical man, I know you would have a system. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's always in the same order. It's underwear, shorts, and then shirt, and then I would do like my hair or whatever.

Okay, that's the last thing. The touch. Underwear, shorts, flex in the mirror. No question. And then socks would be last. Seize the day. A million push-ups. Texty seven girlfriends.

Flex. Babs, what's your order? I think I go undies pants, top. No. I'm going to stop your hair. Slow down. Are you doing all of south of the equator before your top gets covered? The reverse winnie.

Yeah, I do. The rough. Jess tried to hit Ron with a compliment, but it kind of backfired when she got her wording mixed up mid-sentence. I'm getting lost in your dreamy browns. Is that why I'm sweating? That doesn't sound. Dreamy Browns?

No one's ever said Dreamy Browns before. Are you kidding? You're lots of my dreamy browns. Sounds like I'm looking at your mud button. What the hell is a mud button? Shy guys, you're right? She's talking about your button. Dreamy.

Ah. Shy guys. Dreamy browns. Dreaming browns and the mud button. Dreaming about it too? I said dreamy browns, like his eyes. Oh, the dreamy browns. That's what I meant your eyes getting lost in your eyes.

I was just trying to be more creative than just saying lost. Say that. Say that. Never forget. You can get in touch with the show anytime and give us your two cents. Or as Rowan put it. You can call 131060. Just give us your 10 cents. Or you can leave a text on the text line, just. I've never heard of 10 cents. I thought it was two cents.

Well, I like it a little bit more. We want more than two. We want more than two. If you come with two, we're going to have follow-up questions. You better have an eight cents sitting in your pocket to deliver up. Yeah, if it's just a quick little, I just wanted to say I like the show. Well, what do you like mostly about it? Yeah, absolutely.

And some constructive criticism. We're still in our infancy. We're not a two-cent show. We're not a two-cent show. Ten-cent minimum. We're a ten-cent show. What? You want five times the standard?

Yeah. And then. There's a surcharge. You know, if you don't spend above the F-POS minimum, they then got it, wow, there's a 1.5% surcharge. So we're actually 11.5, really. Absolutely. We're like an 11.5 cent.

And aren't we worth it? Yes. Yes. That's it from us. See you next week. Bye. My fingers are fingering. Just start again.

Just control yourself. I'm ready, baby. Put your hand down. That was the Jess and Rowan podcast. Maca's Bistro. Bernice Angus Range is here. Chef's Kiss.