Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - There's this peanut on Twitch...

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Jess had an awkward moment with her father in law, Rohan's lazy and we talk about the woman dressing as The Lorax to sell houses!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/jess-and-rohanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mega Brecky McRap has arrived at Maccas. Here we go. Welcome to the Jess and Rowan podcast. Oh, hello everybody. Welcome to the podcast. You heard potentially the Shaw soft launch. This is now the hard launch. We are now hard and rearing to go.

I don't remember the last time I tried to boil an egg. But I know there's a tipping point to go from soft boiled to hard boil. There's definitely a tipping point. And we reached that tipping point, obviously over the long weekend. Came out hard today. And didn't we tip our hats into it? Oh my God, I loved it. Fun, man.

I loved it. I loved every minute of it. What do we talk about? Oh, it only took me two shows or the one show to start talking about my favorite thing online. The burnt peanut. If you are across online culture, you will for sure be a hell of a morning, bro. And not only did you get mentions in of the burnt peanut. Yeah, I'm knacket.

I'm not for a half. Which if you know, you know, and if you don't like me and Babs were prior to this conversation, you'll get to know. You still might not know. All this money on me. Make me want to put. Not only the burnt peanut, but this erotica series you're enjoying. Oh, the queer gay love story on HBO Max, which is, I can say queer.

Yeah, I mean, it's beautiful too. There was an adjective you left out that Babs wanted to get in. Beautiful. She needed to get that in. Yeah. It is beautiful, but I'm definitely the part in the show where it's just horny. So I'm sure there will be beautiful moments. But right now it's like, let's get moved.

If you know what I'm saying. Where are they doing it in like a locker rooms? No, hotel rooms. Swinging their fangs around in the shower. That was the first kind of moment. It was just like showing off. But their rival teams. How are they in the same showers?

That wouldn't happen. It's not, well, I think. Has everyone gone home? Some of them have gone home. But it's also that, I think a lot of them, they stay in the same hotels. The two teams would be put up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the games.

So the shower bit where he was like swinging it around and like kind of going, you know. The Washington or the Canadian? Russian, much more for the Russian. Is it full frontal nudity? No, I haven't seen anything. It's full behind nudity, though. I've been staring, man. Sorry, now I don't.

No, he's trying to, in his mind's eye. Well, well, well, speaking of the eye. Who's eye? The Russian's eye. The Russians. The Russians eye. Okay, so the Russians walking around. Can you take over now?

Because all I can think about is that guy backside. I've not seen it, Babs. Have you watched the whole thing? I'm sorry, is it a series or a movie? It's a series. It's a series. I'm on my second rewatch. Second. What?

What? What? Someone's horny What span of time? Two days. No. I watched it prior to Christmas when I was home by myself for like two weeks. Because I had nothing to watch.

But then my housemates didn't see it. So now I'm watching it with that. So the Russians in his locker room swinging his johns around. It's not meant to, like they don't. It's very macho. Ice hockey is extremely like macho, macho, I'm not denying it. But I don't understand how.

a Russian and Canadian in rival teams have been able to conduct an affair. Well, the Russian has had gay experiences before. Sure. The Canadian has not. And it was a bit of a, are you interested? Or maybe I am.

So maybe the Canadian is like, oh, I am sorry if I'm ruining it for everyone. I've only seen the first episode. So, so, so it's kind of. Has he got so much to look forward to us? Yeah. There's also more than just their romance, though. Okay. Well, all my queer mates are like, welcome to the side of the part.

Like, everyone's like, strap in, brother. And I'm like, strap it on. strap it in? What am I strapping in? What am I strapping? Yeah. Piler. And then your whole algorithm on like Instagram changes and you just get like edits all the time. You have a watch the shy guy? Definitely. Do you want to have a viewing party?

I got rid of HBO but is it worth getting it back? I said so did I when we didn't order it of all our streaming services. Yeah, it does. Well, now people are clubbing, like going clubbing and they've got on the screens at clubs, the episodes playing and like. Shut up. Yeah. With sound?

No, it's just like songs playing and everyone's just cheering. With captions? That's true. Like, we were at a team lunch the other day and Landman Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought you were, I thought you were going to tell everyone how we kissed after. Well, no, you did that on your own. That chicken would make you horny.

How good's that chicken? Oh, my God, fire me up. Good chicken. Landman was flying. I didn't notice that. Oh, is that what you pointed out? Yeah. What a shift?

That one was because I thought MMA was on. What were you going to say? Well, no, just like you were saying that the hit of rival was on at clubs. Yeah. The full really popular. right now, it's on in the background of the pub. Nothing has made me feel older than the shift in the way we consume stuff. You know, people now watching on YouTube podcasts.

Yeah, yeah. You go, what? YouTube's the biggest podcast platform in the world. Yeah, yep, yep. Netflix has started buying YouTube podcasts to put on Netflix. I actually, Lucy and I've been watching Maddie Matheson and the chef. He does a really funny thing called Just a Dash where he gets his like cooking show. But they've just bought all the seasons and the new season was on Netflix and we just

started watching the old seasons. But is he sitting behind a mic? No, no, no, no. He's cooking. It's like a cooking show, but it started on YouTube. Gotcha. But they're starting to buy, they're starting to buy all these YouTube things. It's changing, man.

Every podcast I've listened to in recent weeks, references. And if you're watching us on YouTube, have a look at Will Arnett's shoes. Big money too. Like there's big money in YouTube revenue. Yep. YouTube was. Did you see KSI? He was on some TV show.

British YouTube. Is he a K-pop dude? No, no. Who's KSI? It's like KSI is just a really funny British YouTube. He games. He's a Twitch streamer. He was on some talk show in the UK, and they had his phone, and they'd screen, mirrored his phone to the screen, and the host could do whatever he wanted on his phone, and that was the segment.

And he opened up the YouTube app for revenue. He was able to see his revenue. How much was it? 130K every 28 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he revealed that, whether it was staged or not. I have no idea, but it was genuinely his phone, his account. The host was, oh, let's look at this YouTube account.

So much money. It's discussed, like, even there's like an Australian game streaming service. called Kick and they give 95% of ad revenue to the creators. There was this one guy who's big on another platform and came over just to test it out. He streamed for like seven hours, made like a hundred grand US. Oh my God. He was crying laughing because he couldn't believe how much money he'd made. Unbelievable.

What are we doing? What are we doing? I'll play a game. We love Fortnite. Can we play something else? Arturator. We could stream that. Can we play Operation?

Yeah. You know what? Marri Cart's popular as... Is it? Yes, man. It's coming back. And you don't have to be good at the game, do you? No, no, no, you just have to be...

It's entertaining. entertaining? We could do it from my tub. Oh, but then I have to get nude again. Hey, man. Kim Kardashian model. It works. It works.

It works. You get your own tub. I'll get my tub. I need a bigger tub. You need a bigger tub. I agree. You said it? No, well, you agreed.

I'm supporting you. What other shit have we got on on these podcasts for the hard law? Oh, there was all. lot going on. Am I lazy? You know what you should play bingo with yourself? Get a little bingo card. There's six mentions of heated rivalry on the show today.

Great idea. Play bingo with yourself. That's a bit of fun. Play bingo with yourself. Yeah. With heated rivalry. With heated rivalry. Mensions.

Volume down. Rowan, the regurgitator Edwards. Enjoy the show. Welcome. Wake up with Jess and Rowling. In 2026, something new for breakfast. You know Jess. Truthies.

I'll put the pits. I trust that a fart. You'll get to know Rowan. Hot, horny happy. Yay! This is going to be good. It's going to be fine. It's going to be all right. Fine.

Anything could happen. Most of it probably will. I guess I need to enter the mind of a man. Please enter me. This is Jess and Rowan. This is going to be good. Good boy. This is the hard launch.

This is the hard lodge. We were very cheeky on Friday, Rowan. Sorry about it. We've been advertising for about six weeks, Jess and Rowan. It's the dawn of a new day, Jan 27. Well, here we are popping up on a Friday. Sorry, sorry, we did a Friday show. With a soft launch.

And I must say, the excitement hasn't dwelled for me an inch. Not at all. Not at all. I woke up at 3 a.m. this morning without an alarm. Really? I was jumping out of my skin. I was so excited for this. I'm still a little bit sleep scheduley, so I went to bed at like 9.

I'm feeling good. 11 o'clock, I'm still up. To be honest. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. So I rolled in at about five past five, right? And we have desks next to each other. And I was still at that desk at about 534.

And you did not appear at your desk. And I went, he hasn't slept in on the first day, has he? Well, the heart launch day. That's all I could think about. Don't do it. Whereas I came around and you were already in the studio. Here I am. Already in the studio.

Company, man. He is ready. He is rare and, as you would, have heard, he is hot, horny and happy. Speaking of hot, horny and happy, and the hard launch, was watching heated rivalry last night. It's a few too many features for me. Now, this is the hockey one.

Yeah, the hot, horny hockey one. Is it based off a book? Ah, yes. What's, where is this come from? Is it erotica? Yeah, yeah, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, big time. Is it giving Brokeback Mountain, but on a hockey field? I don't see it brokeback Mountain.

Okay. But it's hockey field. What do you call a hockey field? Rink. Hockey rink. Oh, it's ice hockey. Yeah, it's ice hockey. I've gone field hockey. I'll go and feel what you think.

Jess is like field hockey. I don't. Hang on, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to give you just a brief little overview? Please, because everyone's talking about it. I feel very out of the loop. Two super successful NHL,

which is like the hockey league. Is that what the H is in NHL? Got it, National Hockey League. Oh, he's the L League. So one of them was drafted number one. The other one was drafted number two. Is this just, it's like a great. Oh, it's a guy Sebastian Chananol?

Believe it. Right? And are they on the same team? No, no, different teams. A rivalry that's in the title. One's Russian. Another one's Canadian. Why is one always Russian?

Well, especially in hockey. A Canadian. They're very good at the ice hockey. Yeah, so all the Russians. Are they? Good of loving, too, by the way. It is good. I mean...

Is anyone famous in it? Who are the actors? No, I don't know. Well, maybe I haven't seen anyone yet. I got from about halfway. I had to turn it off and go to bed. Because you were too horny. And hot.

And hot. I was just like, and then I was by myself because Lucy was, my partner Lucy was down in Sydney. Yeah. So I was like by myself watching this like gay erotica show. And I was like, I'm enjoying the storyline. Yes. I didn't need to light the candle, but I did. But I've got a hard launch tomorrow.

I best get some beautifully. Amen. Anyway, it's a good show. I'm so glad. I'm so glad that's what you're coming off. Yeah. What? Sorry?

To be here together today. Hard robbery. Because I have promised people a lot from you. I don't know if your ears have been burning for six weeks. Something's been hurting. What are you been saying? I have just been saying, what a delight you are. Good.

What a ball of energy you are. And you are going to bring a level of enthusiasm, energy and excitement, let alone hilarity and nonsense. I feel like. To that big stick that's never been seen before. This is going, by the way. Careful, don't hit it. It's very fragile.

This is going. We're ordering a new one. It was my first thing. as part of the studio overhaul. This must go. If anyone thinks I'm a diva, eight years I've been with you, well, Rowan's about to show you what D-I-V-A stands for. Listen, I'm actually thinking about you, though,

because I will be the diva and you don't have to be. I appreciate that. I've got a reputation. You know what I'm saying? I don't mind coming in and going, that's got a change, that's got to change. I'm that girl next door. Yeah, bye.

Shai, how are you feeling for our hard launch? Feeling great for the hard launch? Have you been talking about Rowan behind his back for six weeks, pumping people up getting the rice cookers excited. I'm not even saying. No. Oh, okay. I can see that.

People would say to Shy Guy, oh, this new guy, tell me about him. Shy guy's response would be, just listen, Jan 27. Yeah, he's responsible to be. Make up your own mind. Make up your own mind. What a shy guy line? Make up your own mind. He would be so bad at PR.

Be like, eh, give it a go if you want. But he'd be good at Shy Guy dips. We're going to do dips at some point. We're bringing dips back. You don't know the cult favorite. The amount you guys have spoken about it, I feel like I do know about it. Yeah, it's contagious the excitement around d'is. We're working on it.

Will I get my way for an iteration of shy guy dips after two years of begging? So you want dips every week so there's new dips in the studio. This is what you want to do. This is not about shy guy. I'm not the one who tastes the dip. Rowan, it is absolutely about shy guy. Should we do shy guy dips but Jess never gets any of the dip that's open? Well, I'll get the left over.

Is this what I'm saying? That's what she wants to do. Don't be wasteful. I know. Sweet babes, good morning. you, how are you feeling for hard launch day? Yeah, I'm feeling good. Oh, something's going on with the throat there.

Do you want to clear it out? What do you mean? Oh, it's not just your voice. My bad. She's a terrible microphone. That's absolutely my bad. She's got a Timmu mic, Rowan. We've got the regular mic.

We've got the good one. She's got a crappy mic and awful mic technique. It's a bad combination. I do not. A good mic. Talked over me. Terrible bad technique. Sorry.

Terrible bad technique. Terrible bad English from you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, this is not going well. Hey, it's a loving family shy guy. I didn't say we did. If we go for one, everyone goes for each other. Do an alpha bucks as well again, seven and eight. Absolutely.

At $10,000 at seven and at eight. Twice a morning plus the call of fame, Rowan. Oh, yeah. I'm good for this. This works. Get involved in the show. Any opportunity, we always say this. There will be an exact moment we say call 13, 1060.

But whenever the mood strikes, if Rowan says something you vehemently disagree with and you want to fight with him day one, 13, 1060. Good for it. Hey, if you want to tell me how much you've missed me, by all means, 13, 1060. Do it. Babs might not put you through. It's a double pass to Bloody Ed Shearer. Oh, Ginger Ninja Ninja's on. He is in Sydney, Feb 13 and 14. I'll be there with my mum. If you would like to be there, you get involved in the show.

Yeah, that's how you get there. But another thing you're listening out, Jesus, I don't know if we have time to go through everything. Do I play the thing now? Why don't you give an example? Okay, this is the example. This doesn't mean call. Now you can win them, but this is what you've got to lift that for. That's not Rollins. thumb trumpet. It's a bit early for that.

I can feel it though. It is in the cabin. Make sure it's on mic. It is it. Don't tend to. I might get confused though. People will call 13 to 60. When you hear our ship horn,

that is your cue. Yeah, but listen out for that. We will get you on the ship on our ship list. If you want to win a cruise. Oh yeah. Next, we are going to talk about which music fans cheat the most. Oh, I love that. This is a funny one.

Educated. This is Jess and Rowan. New for Breakfast in 2026. This is Jess and Roll. and that is a new Harry Stiles. Aperture. Welcome back to the dance floor, Mr. Stiles. You know that he's doing 30 shows in New York

at Madison Square Garden over two months? 30. I don't think I DJed 30 times last year. Sorry, Dahl. It's not a comparison that makes any sense because you've just put your name and Harry Stiles' name in the same. Okay, first break. That's very rude. How dare you? Just so everyone knows, this has been our relationship for 10 years.

He's a very popular boy. Who, sexy. Wow. Not that you're not. But he's also been doing it since, thank you, since he was, geez, how old was, here's some trivia. First Google off of 2026, shy guy V-babs in the Quick Fingers game. Do I play this?

No, if you want to, but it's against the producers. 16. How old was Harry Stiles when he auditioned for X Factor in front of Simon Cowell and was put in one? I don't know if I need Google. I thought it was 16. I thought it was 16. Well, I don't need. Or maybe, can you Google?

Conviction. She's right. So I said 16, I was right. I win. Rowan wins. No, Babs wins. Well, I think Shy Guy wins because he actually had the fact. You both said, I think.

You guessed. Yeah. I said 16. Not with conviction. But it was still right, though. Yeah, but if my life depended on it, you went, I think, I don't know if I'm backing you win. Shy guy gets the point. 16.

See, Rowan, he's been doing it since he was 16. And he sounded awful in the audition, by the way. Sounds much better now. Yeah, but he was so cute talking about how he worked in a bakery. I'm in a bakery. I work in a bakery. I'm trying to think of a segue, but I haven't got one. Music.

Music. Oh, my God. Jesus, we're talking about music, gross. We started there, then we went there. Okay. Metal fans are unlikely to cheat. Jazz fans are boning everyone, according to a study. Jazz fans are getting it on.

Does this make people hot under the column? So this study... Because this just makes me agitated. Does it really agitated? Really? I don't know. I like to dance. And I don't know how I'm dancing.

Just dance. Nah, it's a bit too slow and smooth and sexy and that's not how I dance. It says a lot about you. You need structure. I'm a fist pumper. You're a fist water? Excuse me. I need Rowan on the decks.

Yeah, agree. I've heard you behind the decks. I need a little, ums, ins. This is not getting me hot and bothered. Yeah. The study was done by the sun. You know how the stand does that kind of things. The sun in.

Why are you both smiling at me like that? Trying to make a joke about the sun and the moon. The stars. You met the paper. Yeah, the sun. I was just enjoying listening. Okay. You would be a jazz fan.

So how long the bed got supposed to go ahead? I don't know you're going to talk for one and 50 seconds about it. Would it be nice to have it underneath? Wait, six o'clock. Of course we're going to talk longer than 50 seconds. This is what you'll learn about shy guy. He is tight and bright. Oh, just loop it.

Oh, okay, mate. Let's not talk about loop it. Don't put it back on Rowan. It's day two. You should have helped him. I can only help you so much. And Luke. Jazz usually goes for about four hours.

That's what I'm saying. I didn't have time. I didn't even look at the time. You do. You do. You do. For our YouTube video. Rowan, have no trust because they will just set you up to fail. Trust, gone, actually.

I have a list of the most likely to cheat. Do you have any data? Because right now you've just made a brazen claim. Six and a half thousand people who admitted to affairs also said their favourite music genre. Was jazz? Well, no. Oh, that's how they asked the question.

19% of the six and a half, do the math, I'm not. They were cheaters and they mostly like jazz. So the biggest portion of the cheaters, the correlation to music. Yep, correct. Jazz listeners. Jazz listeners love to bone, not their partners. It's 1100 people. Thank you.

Great math. Oh, the pet's gone. Sorry. It's so brutal. Oh, now I've lost it. It's such a brutal. Why did you put a fade on it or something? You couldn't even fade it down.

Shy guy, you lazy ass. Next, salsa. Makes sense. Oh, see, that does make sense because I'm sorry. That, that is sexy. That's sexy. And you might be seeing some little cheetah doing the salsa. Who is it your misso?

It's the partners. But you said cheaters. Yeah, but they'd be cheating doing the salsa. That makes sense. That's it. Pop. Then country. Country people, rat bags. There's a country music festival around the corner.

Oh, you're telling me it's going to be prime real estate for a little hanky-panky out of your relationship. If you like heavy metal, you're only 2% likely to cheat 2%? These 2% people. You know why? Why? Because if you've been to a heavy metal concert, you have lost all sense of your hearing, probably sight. They go hard, those people. I don't know if they've got anything left in the tank.

No. That is brutal that. Well, my heavy, they're just there. Head banging and possibly wall of deathen. You don't have anything in the tank to pick up another relationship, let alone take him home and bed them. No, absolutely. It makes sense.

Yeah, I agree with it. See how awkward it is when the jazz runs out so brutal. This would have been so much better if the jazz was on. Yeah. All right. Put it on me. That's fine. Okay, well, yep.

This is Jess and Rowan. Rowan, would you say you have a problem with phone addiction, with screen time doom scrolling? My screen time would be awful. It would be like nine hours. Oh, that's not good. Do you have that alert set? Yeah.

For, ooh, check your weekly status report. Yeah, once a week. Yeah, it comes in. It would be really, really, really bad. You're saying it would be like you've never actually looked at it. So you've got the alert, but you're obviously, flick away. That's another day's problem. It is bad.

I was out with some girlfriends on the weekend, and we were trying to look for something on her Instagram. She wanted to show us a reference photo. And she got the alarm go off because she's got that app that actually locks you out. And she goes, don't worry, guys. I know how to get around it. I'm like, well, what's the point, Nikki? I could never do it. Yeah.

No point, chat. Like, you just, you don't even have it because you just get around it. Exactly. I appreciate there's one little hurdle for you. And then you feel really bad about yourself when you just knock it over and plow on. Plow on. But maybe we can all take a leaf out of Gen Z's book. I'll take a leaf for sure.

They're smart. They're smarter than all of us. At some things. At some things. At social media, I reckon. Yeah, I agree. controlling their urges. Do you think so?

Urges. What they're doing, Roel. Will you tell me what you think of this idea? Okay, please. They're carrying analogue bags around. Analog bags? Which is just a canvas tote. Seems like particular about it having to be a canvas tote.

I think it could just be any bag. A Woolworth's bag. A handbag. Maybe for you a bum bag. Bum bag, for sure. Filling them with items to help reduce their screen time. So other modes of distraction. So they don't pick up.

their phone. In fact, sometimes they don't even bring their phone with them when they're taking their analog bag out. That's my question. Do you just want to just put stuff in your pockets and leave your phone at home? Well, this is the thing. This has gone viral on TikTok on Instagram by people using their phones to fill their analog bags. Well, that's stupid. But then I assume, then I assume they put the phone away. And they walk around with the bag filled with a book. Yep. With knitting needles. Yep. With a journal. The young ones are all about journaling. I'm interested in getting a journal this year. We'll talk about that later. Origami.

So I assume they're carrying pieces of paper. No one's walking around folding paper. Look, it's a dove. Travel sized. I think you and I would like this. What? Travel sized games or puzzles. Mad for that.

Mad for that. That's what's in the embroidery kits. That's what the 20-year-olds are carrying around. I can't do a lot of that stuff at home now. Well, you like to make friendship bracelets out of yarn. Yeah, I do. Would you put that in your analogue bag and do that on the move? Well, it's a bit hard because I have to like hold it.

It's a tension thing. Yeah, it's a hard one. I would probably do pickup sticks. Oh my God. I would do. It's 1805. You know what I do? I'll do gratitude cards.

I love that we have known each other for over a decade. Yeah. And I learn things about you every minute at the time. What's a gratitude card as in it's a pre-done deck? It's just a deck of just things that I can say about myself. So you're going to leave your house with a canvas. Sorry, something funny, shall I go. Yes.

You're going to leave your house with a canvas tote. It's just like a, it looks like a, go down to your local park. Playing cards. Yeah. sit on a bench, like a big old weirdo, and just pull out cards and read them aloud. Yeah, well, if people can do those like psychics can read cards and go, oh, wow, I'm going to be rich in a week. Yep. I can go.

The tarot. You are strong, healthy, sexy and successful. Next card. You've written these cards yourself, haven't you? Gen Z Babs, what's in your analogue bag? Give us some inspiration. I'd probably just put a good book and maybe a colouring book with some pencils. Coloring in book.

I can give you one of Lou Chias if you were. I bought you one. It's out there. Perfect. Sorry, that was... Yeah, why did you just yell at me? You did buy her that, but you didn't buy her any implements. You only bought the book.

No, you use your mascara and stuff. Just what's already in your bag? Shy guy, what's in your analogue bag? I'd buy one of those finder word books. And a highlight. The jumble. Yeah. And a highlight.

Rowan won't get you the highlight. I don't have mascara. Miscara to carer. And I'll buy it. Whatever. Mosquito. He went real American mascara. I got a mascara.

But I'll buy the ones for seniors because then it's easier to find in the words. Big font. I feel I'd get through it through all quicker teeth. You know what we should do? That should be part of our prize pack. You get the Jess and Rowan analog bag. And it's filled with all our analog things. It's like 12 letters.

J-E-S-S-A-N-D-R-H-A-H-E. This is Jessen Rowan. Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha-bubes on hit. The game is old as time. You want 10,000. You can have it. We'll give it to you, but you've got a winner. You've got to do one little thing for us. One letter, 30 seconds, 10 questions.

$10,000. Chris. Lock in. For the hard launch. How are you, Chris? How are we? Good morning. We couldn't be better, babe.

We had a little cheeky soft launch on Friday, but I mean, all the advertising did point to today. So those two ladies who played on Friday technically didn't happen. No, now we're hard. You, Chris, for the first. a hard launch, first player asterix for 2026. How does that feel? Oh, yeah, it feels good.

Let's do it. Let's do it, baby. What do you want to spend $10,000 on? Come to work for the next couple of days, but anyway. That's reasonable. Just two days. You make that much money? What do you do with yourself?

Let's go. That's it. What do you do with yourself, Chris? I'm a truck driver. He's a truck driver. He's putting his feet up. Good on him. No, putting his feet down to go.

You're so right. That's the one. That's the one. $10,000 coming your way, Chris. Working with the letter M. Oh, God, how's this M for Mack Truck? You like that? Well, back.

Thank you very much. Your time will start after the first question. Are you ready to rock and roll? Right, oh. Starting with the letter M, Chris. We need you to name. An astrology term. Oh, pass.

An adverb. Yeah, pass. A female actress. Oh, pass. An Australian city. Oh, what is it? Melbourne. A film series.

Oh, fast. A flower? Nah, I've got nothing. A sport, a sport. Keep going. Sport, sport, sport. Nah, I'm not. A food brand.

Hey. How sad. It wasn't zero. I mean, it was one. It was one. And that's okay. That's all right, mate. I built you up too much, Chris.

I appreciate that. I apologize. As the truck driver, you'd be sitting in the truck going, I'll nail this when I get on air. I know, do you play a bit. Normally you do so well cruising along and then once you've got the press, you're like, nah, you just bumble. 100%.

As soon as you hear the answers, you're going to go, I knew that. It was in my head. And let's go through them. Astrology term, moon, Mars, moon phase. Adverb. You know, Chris, I would get these wrong all the time. Madly, mindfully.

Anything L.Y. L. female actress. You got, you would know Margo, Robbie, don't you? Margot. Oh, there we go. Queen Margot. Obviously got Melbourne, well done.

Film series, Mission Impossible, Men in Black, flower, magnolia, sport, motocross, food brand, magic. We didn't, we didn't even get to the full 10. We didn't, Chris? Way to make me feel really smart for those guys. Well, Rowland, this is not how you make friends, okay? Your answers, Chris, I didn't say him. That's sweet.

Chris, thank you for joining the show for show number one. Technically, have a. A wonderful rest of your day. Have a wonderful. So maybe 8 o'clock it might get more than one. Let's go nine better. And let's get the $10,000. Sounds like a plan.

I lie to my girlfriend every day. We'll discuss that after this. This is Jess and Rowan. Right now, Rowan, I don't know how I'm going to go on. Please give it a go. I don't know how I can look my father-in-law in the eye ever. Eat the heat. Again.

Oh, no. And I know they listen. So good morning. And they're very supportive. Morning, guys. If he's listening, we've not addressed this verbally, Rowan. It remains unspoken between us. But I know.

Yeah. Why would you talk to me about it? You may as well, because I have to alleviate the embarrassment, the mortification. Over the break, I needed to come into work for something. I accidentally got a parcel sent here and not home. Oh, no.

But this is the thing. Poppy and Gigi babysit of a Tuesday. Okay? And Poppy and Gigi don't like me to disturb their time with sweet little two-year-old Lucia. Because when I enter, when I come back home, she gets excited. Well, Mommy's home. If I leave again, because I'm popping in and popping out.

I'm not saying it's World War III, but then they have to deal with a bit of a fallout. I get it. So I try and stay away, give them a good chunk of time. And you get your time as well. And I get my time. Absolutely. And I'm very grateful. You've got to have it.

So when I realized while I'm out and about, I need to pop into work, I don't have my key card. I don't have my pass. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to have to go back home to get it. Yep. But I say to Poppy, Poppy, Pete, I'm going to have to come back and get my work pass. I need to duck into the station. He said, I'll bring it down for you.

You're too kind. What a lovely harper thing to do. Tell me where the work pass is. Now, over the break, it's not even a handbag, is it? We've got six weeks holiday. Yeah, take that out of the artist. Yeah, for sure. I said it's in the top of the top.

right-hand drawer of my dresser. I knew this was my bra draw. Got some crop tops, one bra. Yeah. Oh, whatever. He's been married for 40 years. He's seen a bra. I don't think it's that big of a deal.

It's not like I've got anything sexy, sexy. It's fine. Okay, right. So I thought. Oh. I sent him to that drawer. He texts me back five, ten minutes later. I can't find it.

Right. Okay. Thanks for trying. And I said, well, I'm going to have to come up. I'm sorry I'm going to have to. disturb your time. It is what is. I have to find the past.

It is what is. So I go up there. Go straight to the right hand drawer of the dress. Because I'm sort of going, he's just missed it. He doesn't know what he's looking for. Pull open the draw. First thing I see in the drawer.

Vooda doll. My little friend. Jessica's secret little, well, it's not secret. Jessica's little companion. Vincent. Vincent the vibrator. Don't call it Vincent. I don't call it Vincent.

I'm sorry, we go called me. I'm trying to think of a V name. Yeah, I know, Victor. Ah, Victor. Her name of a lawnmower, isn't it? Sitting right there. Sitting right there, Rowan. On top of it?

Presented. Well, just like with a flim's a little crop top, just. Oh. Peat the heat. Right there. And not one of those, like, funky ones, because I got some funky ones that maybe if you saw it, you wouldn't know what it was. Some.

This is my old school. But I lost the charge. So it's dead. That's why it's living in that drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. And then I found the work passing the other draw, but I was like, I immediately called Angus, my husband. And I said, oh my God.

What did he say? I think your dad's just found. Victor. And he was like, he wouldn't know what it is. He would. I said, the shape of it, Angus. It's not exactly. Like, he's been around the block, Pete.

So when you opened said draw, saw it, And we realised I sent him there. Yeah, you sent him to the... I sent him there. Yeah, to Victor's place. And then you went out and... Did you just head down, walk outside? What did you do?

Yeah. Bright red, a flush from bloody, tip to toe. Tip to toe. And we haven't spoken about it since. Paid the hate. And as I've walked out, he goes, did you find it? I went, yeah, it was in the raw. Another drawer.

Sorry, I'll be back in a few hours. Why are we not calling? Can we call him? Absolutely not. This is Jess and Rowan. So, as you know, Jess, my lovely sweet partner, Lucy, works down in Sydney. And she's there a lot through the week. Feeding and sheltering the homeless and our country's most vulnerable.

She's one of the good ones. I don't know how you jagged her. Yes, you do. I'm fantastic and extremely charming. Handsome. You are charming. Let's go. To the point, you're slippery.

Excuse me. I know your husband. Careful. Slippery. What are you made to the point of you're slippery? So Lucy. You're like a bar of soap. You'd bend over it in the shouts, pick him up.

Okay. No one took it there. Except you. He did a robbery. I'm watching it at the moment. That's the third inch. Four. I think you did one before.

Maybe that was off air. Off air. We'll go to three. We'll go to say four. I'm okay with four. Beautiful Lucy. God, where was I? Yes.

So she's down in Sydney a lot, comes up a lot, back and forth, commutes a lot, like I'm sure a lot of people do. I'm getting a lot of alone time. And what I will do now is I realized I lie to her just about every day. She doesn't deserve it. What do you lie about? What do you reckon I'm lying about? What are you getting up to that? What do you think I'm getting up to?

How much you have done that day? So she'll check in going, what? Well, yeah, that and something else. It's like sometimes Angus says, you know, are you able to get the dog out? Yeah, yeah. I took you for 90 minutes. I didn't.

I took him out for a week. Totally. Came back. So, you know, sometimes we add a little mayo. So our partners think we're not complete slobs. Well, funny, you mentioned mayo. Not weird. I used to drink it out of the bottle.

I'm not judging. It is yum. Squeezing praise mayonnaise. Are you joking? Look it to my veins. Oh, I just fire it up. So she'll go, oh, are you going to pick me up from the train? I'll go, yeah, babe, of course.

Of course. I'll get to the train. I finish at 9 o'clock on the radio. I'm available. I'm good to go, babe. Seven o'clock, that's fine. Bit past the bedtime, but it's fine. She'll turn up.

She'll go, what are we going to have for dinner? And I'll go, no idea. She'll go, could do Guzman. I'll go, I'd love Guzman. Have you had Guzman an hour earlier? It's my second burrito of the day. Literally, every time she says to me, wouldn't mind Guzman. I go, I wouldn't mind Guzman as well.

Meanwhile, two hours ago, I had a double-crunched barbecue. beautiful taco that's like wicked or I might have had some nachos, might have ducked in for a mini cassidia. Listen, this is day two. Are you already angling for a Guzman sponsorship? No, they already send me some money every now and again. But what I'm, by the way, it wasn't much. They're like, can we send you something?

I was like, yeah, and they sent me a gift card of $20. And I was like, is that all I am? Do you? Yeah. Really? Yeah, clearly. It gets your one Caesar wrap. Do you?

Steve? Love you. You don't. $20. So I'm lying to Lucy a lot. But this is the grey. Because, you know, we're always. Always be on your side, Ro Roe.

Always. Write that down. Is leaving something out of a story lying? No, I don't think so. Is an omission of detail? Lying. She'd be furious. I think it's two different crimes.

Yep. And they cannot be charged the same. Omission is different to lying. If she flat out said to you, have you had a burrito today? Because I would like a burrito. And also, if you want two burritos, it's your body, it's your mouth. You do what you want. But you just haven't flagged.

I've already had one dinner and to that exact meal you are now wanting to get. Here's the vibe. If she said Rowan, how was your day? What'd you eat? I feel like Guzman. Have you had some today? I would have said, no, let's go. Okay, now that is a crime punishable by sleeping on the couch.

You lied to your saint of a girlfriend. It's a bit of a he-he-he-he-he. Rowan's had Guzman. I reckon for sure I've done this 30 times, like at least. Because you know what else you're doing? You are actually a good guy. Because if you say no, I've had it, she now needs to pivot what she will eat. I'm not going to say, yeah, I've eaten, eat by yourself, woman.

No, why would I do that? No way. Or to share a meal, she goes, all right, well, I guess we'll get Thai. No, she wanted Mexican. Sometimes she gets, I have my dinner and then I nibble at hers because I wouldn't mind some more food for dinner. I need to make some changes. So she's had a massive day putting homeless people in homes. She's commuted and you will then take food off her plate.

She is a lucky lady. This is Jess and Rowan. Make your holiday next level with Royal Caribbean. From weekend getaways to South Pacific Family Adventures. Look now at Royal Caribbean.com.com.com. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge. On deck with Jess and Rowan. Welcome to the Caribbean.

Sorry, was that, um... Captain Jack Sparrow. Oh, sorry. I thought it was. Ramanov from Heated Robbery. That's four. Time is it. Oh my God, it's halfway through.

How dare you? My message. Our friends at Royal Caribbean have given us a cruise to give to you. All you need to do is listen out for that ship horn. Well done. To everyone who wasn't fooled like last time. Yeah, I fooled everyone. We were just giving an example.

Oh, there it is again. When you hear that ship horn every day this week, you call 13, 10, 60. Yep. We are then going to give you a series of clues leading to an activity you might do on a cruise ship. If you can correctly identify that activity, you go on our ship list.

The ship list, baby. And then we will award the cruise, seven or nine-night cruise, your choice. Unbelievable experience for you and a friend, you and your partner. How are we going and getting Jess and I on this cruise as well, Shire? Great question, Rowan. We're going?

Are we actually? No. Emails have been sent, is what he means. We're going as in I'm working on. It's started. Wheels are in motion. There's a lot of technical issues. No, there's not.

Jess and I, in a car, to the boat, get on boat, drink. Responsibly. You want to do the show from the car to the cruise ship. Well, that would be easy to all. These are semantics, shag. I just get us on the boat, baby. This is what we're working. Get us on the boat.

Peter did not muck around. Good morning, Pete. How are you going, guys? Couldn't be better, babe. You heard that shiphorn. You've called through. Now, I'm going to give you a clue. If you can tell me what activity I am referring to

that you would do on a cruise ship, you'll go on the ship list, the standby list, to win this cruise, okay? No worries. Now, first caller, first clue. Creamy. Creamy, baby. What activity links to Creamy that Peter might be doing on a cruise ship? Creamy, yeah.

It's a very vague. Well, it's the first clue, babe. I get that. We had to make it a little challenging. Give us some. Hmm. He's got something to do with cocktails. Maybe you get one.

Peter. Peter. What is the activity you'd like to lock in? Having a cocktail. Mate, he's done it. Oh my God, he's got it first time. Babs thought, okay, we'll obviously start cryptic, get a bit easier. The other clues were like Tom Cruise 18 plus.

Peter has nailed it clue number one. I didn't get a clue one, Peter. I thought he said mission. impossible. I was like, oh, it could be like a mission, like a movie thing. Peter, you and a friend potentially drinking creamy peanut colladas on a Royal Caribbean cruise. I'm going to send you back to Babs. We're going to get your details. You're on our ship standby list. Well done. Thanks, guys. Oh, my God. Cheers, thank you. Good on you, Peter. Nailed the creamy.

That is how you do it, Rowan. I didn't get it. It was easy really well. Can I just say from now on for this year with games? We will not elaborate on first blue. You can't get it. I'm buzzing you out. Oh, 100%. You know what I'm saying? Peter had a good amount of thinking time. He had a great amount of thinking time. But it's also our first show. Let's have a little bit of grace.

But congratulations to you, Petty. You are on the ship list. He's on the ship list. He could be on the Royal Caribbean cruise for seven or nine nights. Make your next holiday. Next level with Royal Caribbean from weekend. Getaways to South Pacific Family Adventures book now at Royal Caribbean.com. More ship list entries tomorrow.

That's right. Listen out for that. Shiphorn. And we did see a fantastic, oh, you saw a fantastic date on TikTok. We'll talk about. Absolutely. This is Jess and Rowan. Someone said this to me, a wonderful rice cooker.

She said, Jess, I reckon you'll get a kick out of what this one Aussie chick is up to on the social. Nice, finding content for us. Thank you. Thank you very much. Let me just put my feet up a bit. You know, it's not like it's show number one. This is a young woman by the name of Terry. She goes by Tezal, T-E-Z-O-W on the socials.

Nice. She has 20.5,000 followers, okay, but her videos are rhaps. backing up millions and millions of views because she's a kooky chick. Cool. She's just trying to make us laugh, I think, and I think more than anything, trying to make herself laugh. Good for her, yep. She's a single woman.

She's on the dating apps. She's on Hinge. And she recently had a bloke offer her a dinner out. And she messaged him saying, should I dress up? Obviously, this fella thought, well, I put on a nice dress and some heels. If you could, darling. He said, yeah, absolutely. I've seen some of your pics.

You look beautiful dressed up. So she chose to go. to this dinner at what looks like a fancy restaurant, dressed up as Dr. Zeus's The Lorax. Now, if you are unfamiliar with this character, he's a stumpy little character. He's a creature who protects and speaks for the trees. What the hell?

Big belly gut. She's got a full latex lycara orange suit, head to toe. A fetish type thing. With big bushy yellow eyebrows and a big bushy yellow. Kind of hot, if I'm honest. Look at it. The fact is cool. So I've got a little bit of audio from the video, Rowan, where she's sitting at this table.

Her date arrives. Now, just listen to his reaction and the offer he puts forward. I'm actually really embarrassed. You told me to dress up. Is this not what you mean? Do you think I look pretty? I need a drink. Wait a minute.

What are you doing yourself? What are you doing yourself? I do a few different things. You can sell a property in one of my developments. I will give you 100 grand to buy a new outfit. Why, are you serious? If you promise me, get the real of that fucking outfit, then I'm going. Now, if that guy isn't the quintessential,

stereotypical real estate agent, that arrogance. He's rolled in, Rowan. Just throw money out of it. It'll go away. And said, I've got a property I'm currently trying to sell. If you reckon you can sell it dressed as the Lorax, I will give you, I think he's basically offering her the commission. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

$100,000. It's great marketing from both of them. Now, I understand, Rowan, in this. day and age, you've got to take everything you see on social media with a grain of salt. Like, was this made up? Was this set up? She is a social media strategist. Fake. However, the next video, and this is just about a week ago, Rowan. The next video on her socials is her at this freaking house doing an open home. I'm glad this kitchen is here. Very glad it's here. I speak for the trees.

Welcome to the cinema. Listen to the Lorax on the big screen. I lost my shoe. The trees. Five bit for a chat with the Lorax. Please come to my open home this Saturday, 10 a.m. So the Saturday just gone. Be furious. She ran an open home.

There have already been three requests for a Section 32. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like something that people who are serious about buying this house would ask for. She might sell this house dressed as a Lorax, and this guy will pay her $100,000. Is it legit? It's fake. Section 32 is a document in Victorian real estate that...

Yes, she's Melbourne. ...to provide to the buyer before the contract is signed. People are asking for this. From her open home, there's videos all over Instagram and TikTok. Fake. It has to be. They know each other. This is a lie.

A goddamn lie! As in, you reckon the real estate agent knows her? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, if they're both marketing people, didn't you say she's a marketing? She's a strategist. And he's a real estate agent trying to get some marketing. and you give a hundred grand for someone to dress up as a Lorax. She asked for it in writing.

And, you know, if it's contractual. All part of the plot. So what I thought, I love it. I was like, this is what a way to just give yourself a giggle. Give the internet a giggle. It is funny. Potentially earn a hundred thousand dollars. What of money.

That's amazing. Dressed as the Lorox. Is that how far people have to go single? What do we do for houseboats next? We're going to dress up as curvet the frog. What the hell are we doing? So shy guy, I challenge you. I would like to speak.

speak to Terry. Do you want to speak to Terry? I've already messaged her and email her. Let's talk to Terry. What she's say? Give me 10 grand or come on. The hell. I want to know if it's real. I would love to know it's real. It seems legit. I'm buying what she's selling. I'm not buying that house. I'm already bankrupt from this for a know what I'm doing. Let's get her on. Let's get her on. Let's get her on. Can we find her? Did she listen? Probably not. Who knows her? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? We've messaged. Oh, what did she say? She's left us on red. Okay. Well, she doesn't care then. Don't leave that part out. Well, she knows where we're into state. She's in Victoria. So we can't help her technically sell this house. I don't like New South

But I want to meet her. I want to chat to her. Would you dress up? What would you dress up as? Oh, should we dress up to talk to Terry? No. What would you? What would you dress up as?

Just in general? Yeah, like, obviously, she's got to dress up. I'm not sexy nurse. No, no, no, no. You need to be like the grub or whatever that thing. Do you mean the Grinch? No, the grub. You know, the grub.

You know, the grub. I know what you mean. Who's the grub? Is it grub or grum? Grug. Grug. Oh, grudge. Jess and Rowan.

Jess and Rowan's 10K alpha bucks on hit. I said it before, Jess, I think it would be one of my dreams to give it away on 7 and 8 o'clock and then blame the producers for the questions. That would be my dream. We don't have to blame them, Rowan. They're the ones writing the questions. Also, Babs does all the questions. I've got nothing to do with it.

So it's a little peek behind the curtain. You know, you want people to keep going and whatever. And the people go, hey, a bit of tension would have. be nice, but it is our dream to go, seven o'clock, eight o'clock. Next day, seven o'clock, eight o'clock. $20,000 day. Okay, well, how did that happen? $100,000 week.

That'd be awesome. Pooly, wouldn't that be good? Now, we failed at 7 a.m. That's okay. We got one. One's all right, but it's no 10. Lucy joins us now. Lucy, we're aiming for 10.

Oh, yes, 10 definitely. 10 definitely. I mean, that's better than one, hopefully. Hell yeah. What do you want to spend the money on? A trip to Fiji with my kids and my husband and maybe I'll bring the family. I'll rest like my sister or something. But, you know, just definitely like the boys.

I haven't been on a plane before. It'll be nice. All right. Let's get Lucy and the fam to Fidre. You are going to love this Omen, Lucy. The letter you are working with today, it's L. El for Lucy. Okay, hopefully this is good luck then.

This feels good. There's good. There's good, Jujic. Yeah, who's in the car with you or where are you? I'm pulled over the side of the road. We're on our way to preschool and daycare drop off. And I've got a five-year-old and a three and a half and a one-year-old. Oh, goodness gracious.

She's busy. She's busy. That 10 granny is not going to get your brother and sister-in-law to Fiji. You're going to look after your family. Yep, yep. We'll get, you know. All right, lucky Lucy. We're working with the letter L and your time will start after the first question.

Are you ready? Yes, I'm ready. Starting with the letter L. We need you to name a type of pasta. Ligweeney. An adjective. Pass. A sportswear brand.

Uh, pass. A body part. Leg. A country. Uh, Lebanon. A fabric. Suburb.

Uh, Labington. A fabric. Linen. An astrology term. What is that? Sorry. An astrology term.

An astrology term. Libra. A reality TV show. We had an interesting moment here, Lucy. You've actually done something no one in my history of 10 years of Alphabox has ever done. Me too. Answered a question I didn't actually ask. We could give you another one for sure, but I mean, it's not going to.

I mean, technically she got it correct. So what does that bring her total to? She was moving to a good pace. I got four there. That sounds good. Four works to me. I feel like four is better. Yeah.

Borg better than one. Bored better than one. You had a tub of pasta. Yes. By the end of the week, you might get to that test. That's true. We're building Lucy. Adjective, lovely, lucky, sports brand, Lulu.

Body part, you got that. Country got that fabric. This is where you said suburb. Yeah. And I guess that tick, that's one, but. Sure. Sure. And that's the far as we got.

And Libra, you got it really? Well done. Well done, Lucy. Thank you for joining the show. We'll let you get back to your obviously busy morning. I know, thank you. Thanks for carving out some time for your pals, Jess and Roll. Absolutely, thank you.

Those kids are screaming. And it would be hard. Look, it would be hard to win $10,000 with the five-year-old to bash in the seat behind you going, hey. One of the unspoken rules of Alphabarks is no help. No help in the background. I don't know if the five-year-old was trying to help, but no help in the background. I don't know if, ah, is helpful. Well, to a five-year-old, that is a fabric starting with L.

You know what I'm saying? You don't know what that five-year-old was thinking. True. All right. Speaking of L. Lazy. Am I that? We will talk about it, Max. I can take a good guess. This is Jess and Rowan. What do you want to ask? I want to ask, do you think I'm lazy?

Oh, let's judge. It's just a classic, like, radio. Let's judge the regurgitator straight off the bat. Look, people are already calling. They don't even know what you specifically want to ask. Oh, like, white, man. Yeah, he lazy. Anyway, this is what we do, right? Works three hours a day.

He lazy. Okay, well, funny you bring that up. up. Nice one. I obviously have a full-time job now. Now. I didn't when I was DJ. For the past last Friday and today, your full-time job. I'm putting a lot in behind the scenes just so you know. Full-time job, full-time row, all right? It's a nice look on you. Thank you. It feels good on me. I look in the mirror and go, nice. It is funny though, because you use the word full-time. Now I do the same job as you. Full time. I ain't doing 38 hours a week, that's for sure. So can we say full-time?

Don't tell them. Shy Guy and Babs, 40, 42 hour weeks. And obviously, we just spoke earlier. If you missed it, get the podcast on listener, right? My partner, Lucy, is away. So I find myself potting around the house, just kind of doing as I please for probably half the week. I picture you nude.

Right? Walk past the window yesterday, I thought, well, the neighbours see me, literally. But as I was walking around, nude yesterday, I thought, God, that needs to be done. That needs to be done. and I stopped butt naked in the middle of the lounge room and went, I could just get a cleaner. Oh my God. I have a full-time job.

There is a hedge out the front that needs shaping. Maybe I get a gardener. Oh, okay, sorry. I thought, you know what? How much more money are you on than me? Or on the same. Oh, you'd be on heaps more, let's be honest. I thought, you know what?

A cleaner and a gardener. Well, and all. Like, we could do an all. Oh, okay. So I thought, I'm now a working class man. I got stuff to do. Oh, he's blue collar. Yeah.

I might need some help around the house. I can see that grime under your fingernails. Filthy. Ear wax. So I'm like maybe. As he choose his nails shy guy. Discuss. And or.

I'm thinking and all. I'm thinking maybe I would, because I have obviously allergies to grass and stuff. Maybe I get a cleaner. Is that matter? What do you mean? Do you have allergies to grass? I know I got allergies to nuts. He got allergies to grass too.

allergy, but yeah. Is that every step on or if you eat it? Because you're not meant to eat it. Thanks. Thanks, Shagher. I'm making sure. And no one's actually told you. What?

So I thought maybe if I'm going to do, I, like, I don't mind the kitchen. I'll clean the kitchen. I don't really care for mopping. God, you're a saint. Yeah. So why don't I split them? Because I get no help at home, obviously. She's away.

She's the breadwinner. She's a way. She's basically five-phone. She's too busy helping other people. She's fly in, fly out. She's a FIFO worker. My missus is FIFO and I need help around the house. I just want to know if you think I am lazy for getting a gardener and or a cleaner.

Jury's out on whether I do both. I might do one. If you are a gardener or a cleaner, I'd even love to hear you judge this because you obviously always looking for business. Yeah. But if you've, now this is the question. Oh, let's go. You got it on the fly. From gardeners and cleaners.

If Rowan is sitting there. In my undies on the couch. In his undies on the couch watching. Heated rivalry. Heated rivalry. They're nude, for sure. While you're trimming his hedges outside, obviously. Let's go.

And mopping his floor, you would judge. Surely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't take a... It's a service. It's just like, I just go... It is a service. I'll do my own washing.

Sure. All right, if I have to. But let's get the gardener. The hedge out the front looks not good. I think about the owners that would drive past and go, is he living in Derelict? What is he doing? For the first vote of this question, yes, you are lazy.

And I don't want to play the parent card, but you've got no kids occupying your time. You've got no pet occupying your time. What are you doing between the hours of 9 a.m and 9pm? Right at the moment, there is this animated peanut that's on the pitch, and he's so funny. And he like yells, he's like, he's like, he goes, goop, goop, good, we're playing these video games. That's what you're watching. It's quite aspirational. Instead of the peanut, the peanut can be playing video games.

No hands. No hands. That peanut's a lot of money right now. So much money. He'd have a cleaner. Just trying to be like the peanut. And I'm allergic. And I'm allergic to peanuts.

Oh, it's a love high relationship. Instead of shaping your hedge... I'm watching the nut. You're watching the nut. Yeah. So I go, do you want to cast a vote? Just quickly. Lazy or not lazy?

Lazy. Lazy. No, don't... Wait a little bit. Lazy. Let's just say lazy. For Ed Shearing tickets, cast your judgment on the new guy.

His name is Rowan. The new guy. And he wants to get a cleaner and or gardener. Lock in. Because apparently he's, is too flat chat. No, I'm just, I need help with the day. This is Jess and Rowan.

This is Jess and Rowan. 13, 1060, am I lazy? Is Rowan lazy? For all I want is a bit of help around the house and a gardener. That's it. That's all I wanted. I'm just going to lay the fax out for anyone who might have missed it. Yep.

This is a man. Fair, you should. Okay. Who hasn't had to... Let's not turn this into a gender thing. This is a man. Did I just say I'm laying out the fax? Pardon me, do you not, do you want to change?

You got pronouns update that I don't know? Let's not go there. Thank you. This is a man who has not had full-time employment for three years. I haven't. Has been twiddling his thumbs on the DJ decks. Yeah. Pretending to.

Spinning. No, I was doing it. He was doing it. Signs a contract for 2026 to do breakfast radio team. This is a job I've done for 10 years consecutively. Full time. Full-time job. 6 a.m. to 9 a.m.

And then there's other steel. A head. Can't find the time. shape a hedge or iron a shirt. I said, no, no, no, no, no, no. I said I would do the washing and I was happy, begrudgingly to do it. I'm just saying, wouldn't mind someone to come over and trim my hedges. Well, wouldn't we all?

But we're living in a real world, not a fantasy world. So we are open slather. It's very brave of you. Show number two after our soft launch on Friday. Yeah, now hard. We are hard launching. And Rod gets to judge you. you. Rod, you've heard the facts of the matter.

You barely know the guy, but what do you think? Is Rowan lazy? No, he's not lazy. Oh, my boy. That's wrong. It's my boy, Rod. I don't know you, Rod, my boy. Rod, did you not hear how many hours of the day he has free?

Yeah, that's a badler. He's just looking after the other battlers that's got to do the garden. Hey, where's you find, Rod? Where'd you find him? God, you're good. See him, stuffy, get him a prize. Rod, how bad do you want to go to Ed Shearon? It is our call of fame price for people who get involved.

You just make him crap up so he gets you the tickets. I'm a battler with him. We should go together. Mike, do you have any sort of cleaners or gardeners roll around your place, Rod, or what? Of course I do. See, smart. I'm a battler.

The battler's need cleaners. What do you do with yourself, Rod? How many hours a day are you working? Oh, about 14 or 15? Yeah, see, Rod. He needs a cleaner. You're allowed. That's not even about allowed.

It's justified, Rod. When do you have time to get rid of the dust bunnies on your mantel piece? He doesn't. You, different story. No, he works hard then. Thank you, Rod. Sorry, Rod, you know he's a new guy, yeah? You barely know him.

Oh, come on. Rod's on my side. I love the commitment. That's nice from Rod. Rod's on my side. Just good people, the rice cookers. Oh, good friend of the show. Now, if anyone's going to give it to you straight, it's my mate, Glenn.

Glenn, good morning. Good morning, legends. Welcome to the team, Rowan. Thank you, Glenn. Welcome to the show. You careful. Before you thank him too quickly. Glenn, give it to a straight.

Is Rowan a big fat, lazy bones? Oh, fat again. Mine has an asterisk. So I used to be a lawn mow guy and a hedger. It can be seen as lazy, but if you look at it in this tough economy and stuff, he's donating work to the people in meat. Thank you, Glenn. I mowed the lawns other day, and I thought it was great.

I mowed the lawn. I was like, it's actually really satisfying mowing the lawns. But this hedge, mate, it's got a little bit too high and a little bit outrounded. So I thought maybe someone would just do it better than me. Like, you don't cut your own hair. Absolutely. I think I've got it there. That's the most sensible thing you've said in this whole conversation.

Thank you so much, Glenn. I tried to cut my daughter's hair and I showed a picture to my hairdresser and she went, what have you done to her? Oh, no. So we all know our strengths and weaknesses. Yeah. Emily, good morning. I'm just going to go straight off the bat and say, not lazy.

Wow. I cannot believe you had a clean sweep of support here. Go on. Tell on. The economy. Support the economy. Support the local. And imagine being the wife and coming home.

to a clean, beautiful house. It's plain and simple. Women just clean a lot better than men. I don't mean to be stereotypical. Why not? We've gone real hard this, Chuck. Emily, do I look like the bad guy in this conversation for saying he should be doing it himself? Maybe, but we just do a better job.

So, Emily, you were saying, like, let's just picture, I am your husband, right? And I'm at home, maybe longer than normal. And you come home and everything's done. And you were all night. But you didn't do it. I'm getting there. And then you go, wow, this was so good. And then I go later on.

Yeah, got a clanner. Klanner did it. Would you go make it messy again? They did it better than you would. Absolutely. I cannot believe how this has turned around. Neither can I actually. I thought I get some real hate.

Well, Emily, Glenn, Rod, thank you for, I guess thank you. You're all in with a chance to win the ad shearing tickets. How much, like would a gardener be? Garden, I don't know. I've never done a gardener. cleaner, cleaner, oh, 50 to 60 an hour?

Oh, I've made that. I've made that up. I've not booked on myself for a while. Liar. This is Jess and Rowan. Hey, so we just had Maccas delivered into the studio. There is so much going on. Sorry, there's Macas, and I had one of those new mega raps,

and this isn't to spawn conscious because they bought me a $4 wrap. It was wicked, man. I'm feeling good right now. You had the sausage patties. Yes. You had the fresh cracked egg. You had the rashes of baked. Melty cheese.

All wrapped in a? Dot, that way. So if you say it with an ignorant accent like that, you can get away with saying it wrong. Get away is subjective. So in the last literally 10 minutes, Rowan has been told he is not lazy for working three hours a day and still wanting to get a gardener or cleaner. He's had support of three amazing rice cookers. Yes. Who are all in with a chance to win Ed Shearing tickets now.

Yes. You've had a mega brecky rat. Free of charge from our friends at Maccas. I could have had two if I wanted. And you just video called someone in our DMs. Cassidy wanted to support you for mentioning the freaking peanut. Sorry, the burnt peanut on Twitch, yeah. But by the way, I saw that we had missed the call.

And I went, I better call it back. Cassidy DMed and said, oh my God, my husband, he's also obsessed with that bloody peanut. I've never seen a grown man so excited when Rowan mentioned it. So obviously they're together. He hears you say peanut. and he's erupted. Yeah, we're goopin. She tried to call us, missed it.

You just called her back. From long-time rice cookers, your bloody awesome, Rowan, we love you. How have you got this many fans so far? Follow me clue? We're goopin. We're a goopin. Nah, nah, nah.

The shy guy, you got to stop this. He thinks it's funny. I like it. He thinks it's really funny. He thinks it's really funny. Babs, you know the peanut? No. I don't know the peanut.

The first time Babs hasn't known something. Really? Really? I'm more with the kids. kids than you. So that's it, that's the peanut thing. No, I know. No. How much pain, between the heated rivalry and the burnt peanut. Rat attack, rat attack, rat attack, rat attack. You guys just don't know. You guys just don't understand. Is that still the peanut? Yeah, that's still the peanut action. Oh my God. We'll tell you what a peanut. Me and my rat family! You don't know it?

Is that ratatooey? No, that's the peanut too. Oh, that's still the peanut-p pretends to be a rat and puts these people in the rat maze and then as he shoots and he goes, rat attack, rat attack, it's really funny. You are having a hell of a morning. Hell of a morning. It was at McDonald's. It's like, it was at McDonald's. It's like, I'm fired up, bro. For the first show, officially, of the Jess and Rowan program. I'll stop yelling. I'll stop yelling.

I'll stop yelling. What a time. Up next. The hard launch. It's the hard launch. We really launched it hard, bro. For you especially. Totally.

Up next. Husband had to pull me into line yesterday. Oh. I'll tell you what he did. And what I did to deserve it. This is Jess and Rowan. I feel so out of the loop. No, we've been doing.

Between the songs you have been getting up these peanut videos. Yeah, just for context, and I feel like I've just, it's been there in, for me, it's just been talking about my own love and hobby at the moment. Nah, people know it. The burnt peanut, just type it into TikTok, you won't get it. But it's like, it's funny. It's funny. You'll laugh.

You'll laugh. There's like lots on YouTube. If it makes you laugh, that's wonderful. And if you don't get it, you can come talk to me about how we don't get it. He's like, you know the Snapchat filters where you can turn yourself into like a puppy and it's just your eyes and your mouth. People still doing that. People still doing that, I think.

Yeah, but it's like the burnt pen out has done that for streaming, and he's just very funny. I don't actually know what Twitch is. Twitch is an online gaming streaming service. Is that the thing where they play and you watch them play? We love fortnight. Yeah, kind of like a Fortnite thing. Sorry.

To be fair, I watch ladies. He's pumped up on the mega Brecky rap. Thanks, Mac. Rowan, who am I to judge? I watch ladies wash their face. So if you want to watch. People game. Yeah, we have our things.

And animators are a peanut. Yeah. Is it a real dude voice in the peanut? It's not AI. No, it's a real guy there, sitting there playing, and it's like the technology is like, I guess it's like the Snapchat filter, but it's very funny. Do you know who the guy is? No, no one knows who gets credit.

No one knows who the guy is. He's like Banksy. He's hiding. Yes, he's like Banksy. That's my reference. Does that make me cool? That's kind of cool. That's actually pretty cool.

He'd probably be very impressed if you called him Banksy. Thank you. Would Banksy be impressed? No. No. We'll get you in that. What I wanted to share with you is yesterday. The highest of highs brought straight back down from the love of my life, Angus Harper.

I have been working on in recent times, Rowan, not interrupting people, particularly my husband. Besides you, maybe shy guy, the person I have the most conversations with in my life, right? I'm an excitable person. You know this about me. We both are. But I love detail. So unfortunately, if my husband is trying to tell me a story and he leaves out what I feel is pivotal like, well, what were you wearing? And what was the weather like in that moment?

And how was their hair that day? I need to know. It doesn't matter to me. Well, okay. To you, yes. But I'm trying to work on that because I appreciate quite often that can derail a story. He's so busy to me. And he's got a million things going on.

He doesn't have time for the small details. And he's on the clock most of the time. So if he's trying to share information, he just. wants to get it out and move on, whereas I go, no, let's stay here for 45 minutes and let me get every morsel of detail. Yesterday, we're in the car on our way to the shops, and he's trying to tell me a story. And he mentioned a name of a person that was quite interesting that I hadn't heard before. And every fibre of my being wanted to stop and ask questions.

What background are they? What nationality? Why do you reckon they're named that? Do you know anyone else? Is that who I'm thinking of? No, I haven't heard them before. But I muzzled myself, right? Well done.

And I let him finish the story, which went on for a couple of minutes. Yeah. And when he was done, took a breath. I thought there's the punchline. Sure, yep. I remembered to circle back. Hey, that person you mentioned, what is their background? And where do you know them from and whatever?

Okay. He tries to start answering. And I went, are you going to congratulate me for not interrupting you at the time, but remembering to actually come back with it? So you interrupted him when he was telling you. So you want him to congratulate you for interrupting, not interrupting him whilst interrupting him? He goes, Shh, shh.

Shh. you're ruining it. You were ruining it. And I had to take stock. All right, I've come a long way, but I've still got a long way to go. Like a patting an addict on the back. This is too much.

He's an enabler, but he's trying to cut me off at the knees. And I appreciate that. That's what relationship and marriage is about. Totally. Now, you want to go back to talking about the peanut, don't you? Yeah, man.

This is Jess and Rowan. Jess and Rowan in 2026. Good morning. How you doing? That finishes up our hard launch. No excuses now, Ro Roe. We've had a soft and a hard. Now we just got to get it a little bit flaccid and we get it moving.

Heathery. That's six. Let's go. That's seven. What? Yep. Seven. That's not counting how much you mentioned it off air as well.

Heated rivalry available on. HBO Max. Or if you have Prime, you can do the little, like, you have Prime and you can do the little upgrade to get HAPT inside of Prime. Angus and I, try. trying to do our 2024 tax return. And he goes, do you know how much we spent on streaming services in that financial? Yeah, well, you can claim it, Angus, because you're in the biz.

Well, that's what he's, that's what he's saying. Oh, okay. We got to, because it's going to bankrupt us. Between that and the bathtub, I want. Oh, how are you going to pay for those taps? How much is the bathtub you want? Well, we want to get it like inlaid and then tie it. Oh, it's like in, in the, in the, imagine like in a cavity.

Like a pool. Essentially, and then we tie, like, the front of it? So it looks, it looks sick, so it looks sick, Rowan. So how much is the bathtub?

Did you see? How much is the bathtub? Don't worry about it. No, I'm worried. Did you see? 10? 12. A bit north.

Did you see the kind of bath I had to have last night? Did you see, Robert? Yeah, you're in a tubware container. Just because you get into a storage container little, um, tub. Tub does not mean you can spend upwards of. I can't be,

18. I can't be tubbing like that, Rowan. But that doesn't justify the upgrade of the tub. Oh. Are we tubbing? Are we talking about justifying spending money, are we? The bloke who works three hours a day, who's going to pay for someone to trim his hedges.

Trim him. Trim him. They will wax them. And I can't get them. Shape them. I can't have a bath. Did you not hear Peter or Rod say a gardener's 50 bucks an hour? Glenn.

Glenn said. Rod was the other caller. All great callers, by the way. And they're all in with a chance to win. Did we talk about, we talk about Hall of Fame? Call of Fame. Cooker of the week. We did.

Cooker of the week. Couldn't have said it more. Ed Sheer and the Ginger Ninja. I can get them again tomorrow as well. Absolutely. And you made a new friend. Cassidy. What's up, Cass?

Cassidy message saying Rowan, well, she didn't say we were unsure about you, but we'll just say. I couldn't believe how handsome you are on the Instagram. She goes, but you have just got my husband over the line with all the mentions of the burnt peanut. Charred peanuts. No, burnt peanut.

The crispy macadamia. She just called her the dance. I saw as Miss Kohl. I said we would just call. I see what you're doing. She, very happy about the peanut reference. She's on board. I said if that had been to air, you would have won her own air tickets.

Probably. Probably. If Rowan had his way. Unfortunately, that was off air. But she did say, I was waiting for the shiphorn. Oh, missed it. We got back again tomorrow. The shiphorn blew at about 7.15 this morning.

Do I do a little, this is what it sounds like? Give it a preface. Yeah. This is an example. This is an example. Cassidy was upset. She'd missed it. Yeah, she'd be doing it again from 6 a.m.

When the shiphorn blows, you call 13-1060. And that is tomorrow. You decipher some clues. You could be going on a cruise. I'd say great hard launch, guys. Great hard launch. Felt good. We launched soft.

We're now hard. And we're all over socials. Jess and Rowan on Instagram. I can't work out the TikTok password. We'll get there, mate. We'll be there eventually. All right. See you all tomorrow, guys.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. is back at Mac is. Try the new range today.