Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - THROWBACK | I made a scene

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

In this best of show: Who's crime is worse Jess or her brothers? Angus got a call after Jess made an order for pasta, we ask what makes sense to you but noone else and why Pam is scared of Ducko's new car...Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jess and Ducko. It's such a common phenomenon for me now when I visit my family. They are interstate in Melbourne. That doesn't surprise me anymore how I revert back to my 16 year old self when I go back to my parents house. Yeah, and there's always high drama. Loud arguments. I mean you're all, you know. There's been multiple occasions my husband has taken the baby out of the room. Yeah. Because he's worried about, well, hearing damage, but also trauma. Yeah.

And he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do. Four Italians going at it. Yeah. And a Macedonian. Oh, I don't know. My sister-in-law now. I don't know about the Macedonian.

He is, him and Lucia are like the only Aussie, you know. Yeah, yeah. They've just got to remove themselves. Even though Lucia sounds like Lucia Marita Haber, she looks very Australian. She's all Australian. What surprised me this visit, though, for the long weekend I did pop down to Melbourne to surprise my mum and dad

was who the argy-bargy occurred with. Usually it is me v my mum. Yeah. No, we were all in our best behaviour. And I actually said to myself in the mirror, Jess, don't start crap with your mum. You're going down there to be nice and surprise her. Hold your tongue.

That didn't apply, though, to my little brother. Of course. It had to go on to someone. Absolutely. If you're going to block off one dam, it's going to burst in another spot. Do you know what I mean? But I need you to decide, Ducko.

Whose crime is worse? Because my brother and I are now at a loggerheads. He thinks my crime is worse. I think his crime is worse. You've come into the court of Ducko. Whose crime is worse? Because my brother and I are now at a loggerheads. He thinks my crime is worse. I think his crime is worse. You've come into the court of Ducko. Yes. Babs, Charguy, feel free to chip in. Sure.

I can only promise you this. I'll give you my honest opinion. That's all I can ask for. Okay. Usually you'll take Angus' side, as I will take Morgan's. But you've got no loyalty to my brother. That's true. I don't.

You met him twice. I hung out with him and Angus' bucks, though. We's. But you've got no loyalty to my brother. It's true, I don't. You don't know him. You met him, what, twice? I hung out with him and Angus's bucks, though. We bonded. Maybe three times. I see you every day. Anyway, I'm not going to try and sway the jury. Yeah. This is where the argy-bargy lay.

I wanted to surprise my parents. As I said, my mum and dad did not know I was coming. But with the baby, I need a car with a car seat, right? So I said to my brother, hey, can you pick us up from the airport? He went, no worries. I'm happy to rearrange my whole day for you, sweet sister. Very nice of you. I went, the issue is you can't bring your, he's got work car. You've got to go and somehow get dad's car. We bought my dad a car seat. You've got to somehow get the Mazda that has

the car seat. Right. So my brother concocted this whole lie apparently with a week's lead up telling my dad he had to get the work car service. I'm going to need to borrow your car. Can I get the CX-5 please? I need that one because of the space. He's going above and beyond. He went above

and beyond. Why wouldn't he? He's about to see his niece and his darling sister. Of course. So he's laid the foundation for this lie, rearranged his work day. We were landing in the middle of the day. Yes. He picks up the car the morning we're meant to land, but texts me and says, got the car, bad news, it looks like Dad's removed the car seat.

Because why would he need the car seat? Your dad's probably going, well, he doesn't need it. I'll take this out for him. Well, this is the thing. My dad doesn't expect me to surprise him on a random bloody Friday, does he? No. So he's taken the car seat out, and I went, Dad, oh, my God. So I'm trying to tell my brother, well, break into their house

while you know they're at work. If you've rearranged your whole day, break into their house, find the car seat, install the car seat and you can still pick us up. He goes, I'm not comfortable installing a car seat. You are a construction manager, young man. Surely you can fricking YouTube it. I'd have zero idea how to put a car in a ceiling. Hey, man, I'm not saying...

Yeah, he could probably... Look it up. Yeah, yeah. I trust him. The dude builds houses, Ducko. He used to build commercial buildings. He doesn't own the tools, though. No, but he's the one who makes sure it all is legit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The manager. He wears the hard hat on site. He wears the hard hat and tells people what to do. Surely he can work it out. It's like three straps. Yes, you, yeah. The manager. He wears the hard hat on site. He wears the hard hat and tells people what to do. Surely he can work it out. It's like three straps. Yes, you've got to do it properly, but I trusted him to be able to do it. Okay.

And he was like, oh, I'm not comfortable doing it. Well, then you're out. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm going to have to organise a proper car with a proper car seat. So the car didn't come? I took him off the duty. I can't have him pick us up.

You're fired. Well, what am I meant to do? I've got the baby. I can't put her in us up. You're fired. Well, what am I meant to do? I've got the baby. I can't put her in the work tray of his ute, can I? Okay. So he's out of the job. And he, not happy about it. Because he's changed his whole day.

Changed his whole day. Lied to my dad, organised this and that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he comes over for dinner and he's off me. And I went, well, I'm off you. He went, well, what's your problem? I didn't do anything. And I went, well, you did, you. He went, well, what's your problem? I didn't do anything. And I went, well, you did, sir. And this is where I ask you, whose crime is worse?

Who's in the right to be madder? I had told him, along with, hey, get the car, do this. He puts in a weekly order with my mum. So he doesn't live at home, but he puts in a weekly order with my mum for her to make him food. I told him, tell mum you want lentil soup and lasagna this week. So that way, when I rock up on her doorstep, there's the food I want. He went, yeah, yeah, no worries.

Okay. I rock up. I said, Ma, where's the lentil soup and lasagna? Didn't Chris ask you if that's what he wanted in his order? No. Oh, no. He didn't put in the order that I asked for, Ducker. Christopher.

Lucky she had lentil soup in the freezer. Of course she does. And lasagna probably left over from two nights ago. Well, she had one lasagna, but it was earmarked for a party she was having on the Saturday. I got it. But that's besides the point. The issue is he didn't add... Sounds like you kind of got everything you needed anyway.

Sounds like you still won. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, only because by default you had it in the freezer. He didn't put the order in, and I think I'm... But hang on, what's the problem here? The not ordering the food or the failing of the car seat? Well, I'm mad at him for the not ordering of the food. He's mad at me for the car seat stuff around.

And I think I have the right to be mad and he doesn't. As a little brother, though, if that was my older sister and I was going out of my way, if I'd skipped work that day and I was telling my dad a lie and I was getting in the car, I feel like I'd be doing so much already that the baby seat in my brain, also, he doesn't have a child, so he doesn't understand the importance of a car seat, I'd be like, what do you mean?

I've already done so much for you. The seat wasn't there, you know what I mean? And, what do you mean? I've already done so much for you. I just, the seat wasn't there. You know what I mean? And then I'd also feel like I've ticked my box that I don't need to then tell mum what you need for dinner as well. You know? That's how, as a little brother, you'd be like, I've done my job, man. He literally was like, aren't you going to apologise to me for stuffing me around? I was like, absolutely not.

Because you didn't put in my order for the soup and the lasagna. I think two wrongs have, the two wrongs have cancelled each other out. I mean, that's a huge disgrace not putting in for the dinner order. 100%. Shy guy? Yeah, I think the problem was in his life, in Chris's life. Yes. Because he said he needed the big car.

So Dad's gone, I'll give you more space in the car. If he just said I need the car, I think the problem's in the life. Because then I tried to have a go at my dad For removing the car seat In the first place Someone's got to go Someone in this family's got to burn baby Someone needs to be in trouble for this Someone needs to burn for their consequences

And it will not be me I'll tell you what It's not going to be your mum Because she's making the lasagna And I told myself I'm not going to fight with my mum this trip So she cannot be at fault It really just feels like

You had a target on your brother And you just went for it I think it was your dad's fault Oh He took the seat out Do we switch to Rob? Yeah, let's get angry at your dad. But I love that you and your brother both rocked up angry at each other, not talking to

each other. We did. Well, we ate our lasagna in silence. What makes sense in your head but not to anyone else? You really have to explain yourself if this ever comes to light. Because sweet Shago, our producer, he is an enigma wrapped in a riddle. But sometimes he gives us these little glimmers that we go,

that only makes sense to you, sir. It's Shy Guy logic. It's Shy Guy logic. Yesterday he revealed this on the show. I know I'm going to regret asking this question, but what did you want a bucket for? I needed to fill up the water in my car, and I used my kettle, and I didn't think that that was right, so I wanted a bucket.

Kettles are perfect for that. Yeah. But I didn't want to take it from the kitchen. Isn't that a better spout? Yeah, it's a better spout. A bucket's harder. I want to take it from the kitchen to outside the house. That's why it's perfect, though, because you can carry the kettle with a handle.

If you've got a bucket, and I can put more in the bucket, because I do like three tries. Did you have an issue taking your kettle outside? Did you think that was weird? Yeah, it felt wrong. It felt wrong to take his kettle outdoors. Didn't like it. Upon supplementary investigation, he doesn't like to take the kettle outside of the kitchen.

He feels like it upsets the kettle and it's wrong for the kettle. It's wrong for the kettle. Yeah. Which I think that kettle hasn't seen any of the world. It just wants to see something different. What a poor. It's seen Kmart and Shy Guy's house. That's it.

Yeah. That's it. I'm offended you think I have a Kmart kettle for starters. Hey, I've got a Kmart kettle. The boy wants it. There's nothing wrong with a Kmart and Shotgun's house. That's it. That's it. I'm offended you think I have a Kmart kettle for starters. Hey, I've got a Kmart kettle. The boy wants one. There's nothing wrong with a Kmart kettle. There's nothing wrong with it. They look like smeg, you know.

Yeah, yeah. You can't even tell. We love a dupe. We love a dupe. But this is the thing. We tried to press him for answers and he's like, it makes sense. Yeah. This makes sense to me.

I just can't be taking my kettle outside. Can't be taking my kettle outside. So on 131060, we want more. This makes sense to me. I just can't be taking my kettle outside. Can't be taking my kettle outside. So on 131060, we want more. What makes sense to you? It is a hill you will die on. Yep. It doesn't make sense to anyone else. It's just your little thing.

It's just your little thing. Like, I cannot have quiche after lunch. There's no way in hell you're making me have a quiche after midday, because it is a breakfast, maybe a brunch food. You're pushing. So you wouldn't even have the quiche for lunch? No, I would. Begrudgingly.

Begrudgingly. Like if your mother-in-law served it. If someone says quiche for dinner, like, do you want to have quiche for dinner tonight? I'm like, that's not a dinner food and I shan't be having it. But you like breakfast food for dinner sometimes. Oh, every now and then. Only every now and then. But quiche.

That's when I'm really feeling loose. Absolutely not. I'm having BFD. My goodness, that's a wild night. That is a crazy. You pull out rice bubbles past 6pm. Holy hell. I'm having BFD. My goodness, that's a wild night. That is a crazy. You pull out rice bubbles past 6 p.m. Holy hell. You know Ducko's on one.

Holy hell. I just can't do it. I love it. And you know what? Doesn't make sense to me. Not even a quiche fan. But for me, I can have a roll, but I will not have a sandwich. Yeah, that's wild.

You love barn me's and you love rolls. Love a barn me, love a roll. Can't have a sandwich. Can't have just a good old ham, cheese, tomato, sanger. Two pieces of bread with stuff in the middle. It's not. It doesn't work? Not a thing.

And another supplementary one, soup that's left over. Must go in a round Tupperware. 100%. Does that make sense to you? I agree with that. Oh, okay. Maybe that one's not. No, no.

That could just be us. Or it could just be us. The shy guy doesn't eat soup. Don't eat soup. Don't own I agree with that. Oh, okay. Maybe that one's not. No, no. That could just be us. It could just be us. The shy guy doesn't eat soup. Don't eat soup. Don't own round Tupperware. Oh. So you need different shapes of Tupperware for different foods. And this doesn't need to be food either.

No, no. Absolutely not. A lot of people have got in touch on the Jess and Ducko Instagram. I love this one from Nisha Ducko. Nisha said. She goes, booking holidays and buying groceries online must be done on the laptop. I cannot do those tasks on my phone. Interesting.

Phone is for socials, emails, all other online shopping. So if she's buying herself a pair of new swimmers, I don't know why she would, it's winter, she can do that on the phone. Cheaper in winter. But groceries and holidays, she has to get the laptop out. I agree. I do it all on my phone. Oh, that's funny.

I like that logic, though. Because it's only for Nisha. It's party and, you know, party and sophisticated. I was going to say pleasure, but that's the same thing. Business. That's what I wanted. I like this one from Gwenny. What's Gwenny said? I only dry my face with the section of the towel that is on the opposite side of the tag.

I refuse to dry my face and neck with a section of a towel that could have dried my chocolate-style fish. Also, even her own body part. Like, it's her towel, but she wants to be real. Sue got in touch and said, Gwen, TMI. Oh, the rice cooker's having chats with you in the comments. With you in the comments, they're going. So she will only dry her towel with the opposite end of the tag

because she knows tag end is for downstairs. I don't understand people who have issues with the towel. It's your most clean state when the towel has touched your body. Yeah, I agree. Who cares? Yeah, unless you're flossing like Shy Guy. Unless you're flossing like Shy Guy. Up in between the crack.

13, 10, 60. It makes sense to Gwenny. Yep. Makes sense to Nisha. Yep. 13, 10, 60. What makes sense only to you? Only to you.

Not to anyone else. You have to explain yourself over and over. Doesn't have to be food related either. No, no, not at all. Jess and Jacko. 13, 10, 60. What makes sense in your head but not anyone else? No one epitomises that question more than young shy guy, our producer. So many things going on in that man's head that makes sense to neither of us.

Certainly. And we're going to argue the whole rest of the population. Yesterday he had to go buy a bucket. Said, why? I don't need a bucket. And he goes, because I can't take my kettle outside. Because he wanted to fill up his windscreen wiper, washing stuff in the car. He goes, kettle doesn't belong. He just didn't like the kettle out there.

Outside the kitchen. Someone is your friend on the Jess and Ducko Instagram. She says, this feels like something you would do. She goes, I hold funerals when my appliances die, because they've served me well. That is so funny. She goes, I hold funerals when my appliances die because that serves me well. That is so funny. You know, I do it for my shoes. When I get a new pair of runners and then my pair of runners that I had become my mowing

shoes. You're outgoing. And then when I put my mowing shoes in the bin, I always tell Morgan. Do you have a little ceremony? I tell Morgan and I'm always like, they're going now. Do you get an archer to fire a flaming arrow at them? I walk them up to the bin. And put them out to sea.

Yeah, I do do that. I love it. I have a service. And that makes sense to you. It does. And this chick on Instagram. Because if they've served me as a running shoe and then a mowing shoe, they've had a good run.

And they deserve. They deserve a good send off. Valet. Let's go to Heidi. Good morning, Heidi. Hi. Heidi, babe. What makes sense in your brain, but not really to anyone else?

Well, I have to section my washing when I hang it on the line. I can't hang it outside. I have to hang it inside on a clothes horse. My partner is not allowed to hang washing because he doesn't put the clothes in the right way and he doesn't put them out right. Okay. I love this. So not just separating the darks and the whites when you're washing them.

On the line, they have to be separated. Yeah. Wow. Oh, that is, yeah, that's OCD to another level. And I'm sure your partner is really mad about him not being allowed to put the washing out, Heidi. I'm sure that rocks him. That would actually be awesome.

Kiesha on 131060, what makes sense in your head but not anyone else? So wearing socks to bed but taking them off like after a couple of minutes or something. So you have to get into bed with socks on but once you're in, you like to go barefoot. Yes. And even if I don't have socks on before I get into bed, I have to put socks on. And then put them on, get into bed, I have to put socks on. And then put them on, get into the bed, then take them off. Yes. Are they specific bed socks or just any old sock will do the job?

No, any sock. And then I forget that they're there until I make my bed again. Oh, you take them off and leave them in the bed? In the bed. And you find them the next day. In the bed. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know this is the point of the segment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why? I love the idea that you can't get into bed just without your little sockies on. What are you thinking? Like, I don't know. It's just like, it's just a habit, like a thing that makes sense. It's like doing your seatbelt in the car.

It doesn't make sense to my partner. She hates it. It's a safety thing. You know what I mean? She can't sleep safely without the socks on and then needs to take them off. But she sometimes doesn't have the socks on right before bed. I know, and then puts them on to get them off. It's a safety thing, you know what I mean? She can't sleep safely without the socks on and then needs to take them off. But she sometimes doesn't have the socks on right before bed. I know, and then puts them on to get them off. It's a little safety blanket.

That? That is bizarre. That's a great one. You and Shaga would be mates. I can't sleep in a bed unless it's made first. Do you have that too? Kaisha gets me. Kaisha?

Anything like that? Yeah, so I would sleep in a bed that's made and stuff like that, like it has to be made. But it's just the socks. Like it's a weird thing. It's a constant thing that happens every single day without fail. Even if it's been 42 degrees that day? Even if I've been sweating.

Wow. You've got to put little sockies on. Wow. And then leaves them in the bed, finds them later. I love that. That is exactly what we wanted. Zamba, good morning to you. Good morning. Zamba's in a wind tunnel. Are you safe? Zamba's in a cyclone. I am that. That is exactly what we wanted. Zamba, good morning to you. Good morning.

Zamba's in a wind tunnel. Are you safe? Zamba's in a cyclone. I am safe, sorry. Crossing life to Zamba. She's on the ground in the tornado. Clem Powell and Zamba starring in Twisters 2. Zamba, what makes sense in your head but not to anyone else?

So I can't eat bacon unless it's with eggs. Oh. So you won't have, and again, I know these are obvious questions because it makes sense to you, but like a Caesar salad with some bacon, you're like, no. A pasta that has bacon in it. Well, actually, there's egg in Caesar salad. Oh, you're so right.

That's allowed. But pastas that have bacon is a king. Like a burger or a sandwich or by itself. It has to be with eggs. You need the egg with it. Do you feel bad that the bacon is without its friend, the egg, and you're like, ah, I don't want to separate them? I think it's the flavours together because the oats with the bacon just work.

Okay. Interesting. But what about egg? Can you eat egg without bacon? I can eat egg on its own, yeah. Oh, well, that's just now one way. That doesn't make sense. The poor bacon's feeling sorry for itself because it's having the egg without egg.

That's right. Oh, so the egg can be an independent woman, but poor bacon's feeling sorry for itself because she's having the egg without it. That's right. Also, the egg can be an independent woman, but the bacon's like, oh, I'm balling Shane to the egg. Okay, I'm just bad by myself. That's very confusing. Hey, look, I love it though. I love it too. That was spot on.

Thanks, Shaga. Make you feel better. We're so weird. Yep. I'm normal. You keep telling yourself that, don't you? It's really nice to sometimes have moments where you go, yeah, that fits. It's just who I am.

It's not out of the ordinary. It's just really solidifying, I guess, the reputation I have. Yesterday, my husband told me that he received an interesting phone call from a pasta importer in South Australia. Now, a bit of a backstory. I'm a mad pasta snob. I don't think that's news to him.

I don't think you need to say that. Everyone gets it. You have pasta every day. I don't buy my pasta from Coles and Woolies. We get it imported because I like a particular brand. Listen to that sentence you've just said. What a loser. Listen to that sentence.

I don't buy my pasta from the grocery store. I get it imported. My dad is from a region called Abruzzo. Oh, shut up. And I like this particular brand. Abruzzo. It's not sold at the shops. Okay.

So where do you get imported from? Well, we used to get it imported from this Italian importer in Melbourne. Yeah. And they have run out of stock. What the hell? Wow. Okay. I don't know what's happened.

Maybe no one else is buying it. They're like, okay, we can't keep doing this. Maybe they've stopped production. We're just giving this one place. So my husband knows that it's serious business. Yeah. Because he knows if you don't get this pasta daily, you will be like a toddler cracking a tantrum.

Yeah. So he needs to keep feeding me this pasta. No disrespect if you like San Remo. Hey. That's what you bought me that time. Two years ago, it's still sitting in my cupboard. Yeah. I like this particular brand.

So he spent like, I hope his business partners aren't listening. He spent a lot of time yesterday trawling the internet for another supplier. And he found one in Adelaide. With the same pasta? The same brand of pasta from a different distributor. Now, I'm moving to Bar Asselt, the taste differences. I'm just not even going to go into it. Bro, come over.

I'll make you three different bowls. I guarantee you tell the difference. I guarantee you. I like my elbows from Woolworths. And that's me. And you know what? More power to you. Thank you.

Just don't serve that crap to me. So he places an order. Yeah. You know, he doesn't think anything of it. Our kind of usual order, but he's sort of got the writing on the wall. Jeez, what's going on with this brand? Maybe I'll buy a few more packets than usual just in case. He gets a call about an hour later after placing this order,

and he can see it's from a South Australian number. And he goes, oh, could this be that distributor? I better pick up the call. And they say, hi. He goes, hello, Angus speaking. They say, hi, Angus. It's Maria from blah, blah distributor. We just wanted to confirm your order because we've never seen an order of this size.

This must be for a giant restaurant. Surely this is for a giant restaurant. Yeah, maybe we can get your wholesale rates. Back her up, boys. Here they come. First issue was they have a flat shipping rate, which is very nice to see, $25. And they went, look, it's a 20-kilo parcel. It's going to be a little more than $25.

20 kilos of pasta. It's going to be a bit more than $25. Holy hell. Set shipping. It's going to be a little more than $25. 20 kilos of pasta. It's going to be a bit more than $25. Holy hell. Set shipping. It's going to be 80 shipping. But because we're so grateful, we're happy to go halves. Because you're keeping our family in business. So could you give us another $20 for shipping and we'll cover the other half?

And Angus was like, of course. Of course, it'll keep my wife happy. And he said, that's what he said. He goes, and Maria on the phone says, and also the head of our company would like to have a word. So he gets transferred. And Angus is going, okay. He's in big W at the moment, trying to buy a tub or something.

He's like, hey man, thank you so much. We're about to go bust. You're keeping us in. That's essentially what he said. He goes, we've never seen. He goes, hello, bro. You're keeping us in. That's essentially what he said. He goes, we've never seen. He goes, hello, Mr. Harper. We just wanted, I just wanted to personally thank you for putting in. He goes, how many restaurants do you own?

For 20 kilos of pasta, you must own an entire town. It's just my wife. It's just her. Well, he had to explain. He goes, my wife's father, she really likes the brand, this and that. And he didn't say, I used to buy from somewhere else, but they don't sell it anymore. So this guy was going, I just wanted to personally thank you.

From our small Italian family business to your family, thank you for this order. Keeping us afloat. I'm like, we are now getting thanked from businesses. I want to know the price of this order. Don't worry about it. No, I this order. Don't worry about it. No, I don't want to. Don't worry about it.

It's going to last us until the end of the year. I'm going to turn the mics off. Are you going to tell me the price? My God, Jess. It's a lot. I mean, not a lot of money. It's a lot of food. It's a lot of pasta.

Plus shipping. Plus shipping. I feel like at that point It's a lot of pasta. Plus shipping. I feel like at that point they could have thrown in the shipping. No, that's expensive. Australia Post. It just was such... I've never felt more of myself. I think my...

You know what? I'm probably keeping the town afloat. You're keeping jobs to go. Where my dad's from. Probably keeping that whole town. They've probably got the memo. Yes. And they're going, Jesus. It's happening. Turn the machines back on.

We've got to buy. We can trade for another year. Jess and Ducco. You guys know I'm a big Ford Ranger guy now. That's right. I'm a man with a truck. Ducco's entered his car ambassador era. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don't need to say that. We can just say I'm a man with a truck. Ducko's entered his car ambassador era. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We don't say that. We just say I'm a man with a truck. That you got for free. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Anyway. It is a gold beast and a half. You look like you're going to drive over smaller cars like a monster truck. Shout out to my mates at Maitland Highways.

Yeah, I do. But here's the thing. It's such a good car that it's got like a – it notifies you where your car is. It's got an app that you can start it when you're not in it. It's got bloody Wi-Fi connectivity. Yep. You can see what your fuel range is and all that stuff. So you'll never lose your car in a car park again.

Correct. You could hunt it down. Correct. Hang on, I'm on level two. The car's pinging from level three. It also does this thing where it'll notify you like it did to me yesterday when the inside sensors are going off and the car alarm's going off, meaning like someone's trying to break into it or someone's trying to get inside to it.

And, like, if you've never had a car with a car alarm before, I certainly haven't. Yeah. I've never had a car on go off. It would be such a trip out, even if you could hear it, because you're in hearing vicinity. Yeah. How do you know it's your car when you're not finally,

just like your child screaming out to you? It's like whenever you hear a car, you're like, ooh, that sucks. I wonder whose that is. But it's really annoying. Can they shut up? Totally. They're probably in the cafe going, oh, that's annoying. Not realising it's their car.

So me and Pam went for a little walk yesterday. Pam's in the backseat of the car. We went for the walk. I put her in the back of the car. Now when you say back of the car, tray or car? No, in the car. She's in the car. She only rides in the trays on certain times.

Understood. Yeah, yeah. And she's in the car. Obviously I've got a No, in the car. She's in the car. She only rides in the trays on certain times. Understood. Yeah, yeah. And she's in the car. Obviously, I've got a nice mat in there to cover all the dog hair. We pull up to my local IGA because I needed to just get a few things. I cracked the windows a bit for her. Just like, you know, all the four windows, just a little bit, so she can't jump out, but she can breathe.

Yeah. I'm only going to be in there for about, I don't know, three minutes, five minutes. And I get out. The car has this thing. It has inside sensors. And it's like, you can turn them I get out. The car has this thing. It has inside sensors. And it's like, you can turn them off when you lock the car. You can have the option in case maybe you do leave someone in the car while you go. Sure.

I had zero idea about that. And I just got it, shut it, walk in. I'm in the IGA and my phone starts going off. And it's like, sensors in the car are going off. And I was like, what? The doors of the IGA open. I heard the, eh, eh, eh, eh. Because the car was parked just before.

It's blaring. And I was like, that's my car. I was like, someone's breaking into my car. Oh, my God. Trying to steal my dog. And we've seen break-ins are on the rise. Yes. Car jacking's on the rise.

You must have panicked. Yeah, and I thought so. And it's not your car to lose. Yeah. And I thought someone was trying to steal Pam. Like, I was, you should have seen it. No one wants Pam. She is a beautiful, majestic creature.

With vaginitis and blindness. One time. Her eyes are better. And then, how dare you? The Dog Blind Society are going to come for you after that. The food this chick needs is not worth anyone stealing her. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, sounds like someone's got an obese dog.

And so I'm in the queue. Sounds like someone's off you today. That's what it is. I'm in the queue and it goes off. Yeah. Oh, you're trying to pay. Yeah, I had laundry powder. That's all I was buying. Because I needed to do some washing. And all I did is I dropped the powder. Like, I dropped it. You dropped the Omo.

It was Omo. I dropped the Omo. This is a period. Washing powder. And I was like, and I run out the door. Oh my god, your instincts kicked in. Your daddy instincts? I was like, ah, and I run out the door. Oh, my God. Your instincts kicked in. Your daddy instincts. And I get to the car, and there is my poor, sweet angel, frozen. Pam set the car alarm off because she was in the car moving around, and I didn't turn the freaking sensors off.

I didn't know I needed to. So just moving around set them off? Because she's in the car. So the car thinks, yeah, motion. The car thinks no one's in there, and then it's feeling motion, so it's going off. Someone's gotten in. Yeah, yeah.

And then Pam's there. There's all these people staring at the car, staring at Pam, just frozen shaking in the car. That would have been really loud for her inside the car too. I'd imagine so. I instantly got my keys out and hit unlock. It was fine. Oh, my God.

I didn't even go back for the Omo. The poor girl. You've left it on. I'm not going back in there. I made a full scene. You come home and Morgan's like, where's the washing powder? We've got so much laundry to do. You're like, you're not going to believe. The stupid dog set off

the car off. I'm pretty sure I made an audible sound like, ah! I just ran out for Pam. Have you seen those videos where people leave their dog, you know, again it's not a hot day, it's all those things, it's all safe, but they come back and the dog's just pressing the horn because they don't like being left alone. They're like, they've abandoned me.

I'm just going to press the horn since the staff is staring out the window. That's Pear being like, do not leave me in here just to get Omo. Come back. Poor thing was shaking for so long. Got her home, had to give her a treat. I was like, oh. When you say treat, you mean Ovalian. Yes.