Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - THROWBACK | The ultimate boner killer

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

In this best of show: What did Pam do that killed the mood? We talk sad things and Jess fought with Angus over passport photos!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jess and Ducco. Let's jump into my bedroom. It's good to have you all here. Shaga, get in. Babs, come on in. You're so welcome. I'm pretty open with this place, aren't I? Thank you. You've got an open door policy. Don't touch that.

Like our boss, Mike, has an open door policy for his office. Yeah, yeah. You've got the same policy for the boudoir. Open bedroom door. Babs, don't push that button. Stop it. You want the bed to spin? Push that button. Spin. Why are there so many mirrors on the ceiling, Ducco? So many mirrors.

Don't go on that swing, Shaga. It's not clean. Where's the Febreze? Sabs, can you fetch the Febreze? And a rag. You know what I love most? Is that you and me having fun there hating it. Like, I love so much.

I'm just trying to wonder where I could have a joke with it, but I don't know where to go with it. No one's hating this more than Babs. She's quiet as a mouse. So anyway. She's coming in a hazmat suit. Let's get the PPE, Babs? No one's hating this more than Babs. She's quiet as a mouse. So anyway. She's coming in a hazmat suit. Let's get the PPE, Babs. She's like, I want to go back on my cruise.

I want to go back to my 40s mixers. Nuts. I want to dress as Wonder Woman. Hey, you can dress as Wonder Woman in Ducko's bedroom. No one's stopping you. I've got that costume. Give you the lasso of honesty. Truth, whatever it is. Is that Wonder Woman? I think it's Wonder Woman, the lasso of honesty. Truth, whatever it is.

Is that Wonder Woman or is that? I think it's Wonder Woman, the lasso of truth. Or is that? Anyway, let's not bog down. Yeah, sorry. Back to my story. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, in the bedroom.

Yep. Now, as you know, Jess, you know more than anyone, you've got to schedule sexy time. You with a child and a dog, obviously. I get it. And we're just with busy schedules, Ducker, particularly you and your wife conflicting shifts sometimes. Ships in the night.

Ships in the night. The young lady saving lives at all hours of the day. She's currently on the start at 2pm, finish at 11pm week. Is that the grossest? No, the grossest is when she starts at 9pm and finishes at like 7am. Okay. That's the grossest. Still tough, though.

It's actually good for me, though, because then she's around all day, tucks me into bed and leaves. And then I go to work and she's like 7am. Okay. That's the grossest. Still tough though. It's actually good for me though because then she's around all day, tucks me into bed and leaves. And then I go to work and she's like that. Oh yeah, because you can still have dinner together. But this one, she comes into bed in the middle of the night, the dog goes nuts and anyway. Oh yeah.

So I've been away all weekend, so we're like, we better schedule it in. It's been a few days. It was in my calendar to give the dog a Kong. Yep. For those that don't know, that's the signal. That's the signal. Peanut butter in the Kong, give it to the dog.

Yes. Normally that gives us time, right? Occupies her for a Kong. Yep. For those that don't know, that's the signal. That's the signal. Peanut butter in the Kong, give it to the dog. Yes. Normally that gives us time, right? Occupies her for long enough. She's a thorough lady. Yeah. Pam, not Morgan. Both. Three to four songs time, right?

Exactly, which is all Daddy needs. That's all I need. Yep. So we've done that, give it to her. Now Pam's trying to do this thing where she'll start licking the Kong, but then hear the noise and realise that we're in the bedroom, and then she'll just bring the Kong full of peanut butter to our bedroom door

and just start scratching the door. Like, let me in. I'd like to enjoy my treat with Mummy and Daddy. There's a game in there. Are you pressing the button without me? And then... I want to look at myself in the reflection. She starts going like, you know...

Yesterday. Oh, like whining. It got so bad. It got to reflection. She starts going like, you know, yesterday. Oh, like whining. It got so bad. It got to the point where like, it's deep, baby. Like we're in the fashion. You're like two and a half songs in. Yeah. Maybe even nearly.

Yeah, probably just two. Prime time. Yeah. It's like, and all of a sudden you hear. Sorry, is that more? I wish. And we're there just trying to keep going. And then he goes, oh, oh.

Like, she was making sounds I've never heard her make. And, like, it got to the point where we just stopped. Is she a howler usually? No, normally. It was bizarre. It was like she was in pain. Like, she was, oh. And we just stopped.

I was like, I'm sorry. Like, this is ridiculous. Like, this is.. Like, this is... Do you remember which song you were on? Was she trying to sing along to the harmony? No, I wish. I wish. Oh, I can do the weekend.

Daddy, just let me in. I'll do the music for you. Oh! Oh! And, like, we had to stop. Oh, no. Had to abandon shit, like, for a little bit. Sounds like her voice is breaking like a teenage boy.

And then you open the door and she sits there. She's, like, really low to the ground. She's got her voice is breaking like a teenage boy. And then you open the door and she sits there. She's like really low to the ground. She's got her collar. She picks up and just sits on her bed and stares at you. And you're like, I hate you. I hate you so much for all the pain you've inflicted on me. Jess and Ducko. Hey, just really quickly, Ducko.

I think I have found something that universally is impossible for humans. And I speak on a survey of one, i.e. myself. Oh, okay. But I doubt any other human alive has been able to achieve this. Yes. Going to the shops, like a supermarket, and only buying what you intended to go for. Yesterday, I went to the shops and I said, all I need to buy is nappies and sponges. Nappies and sponges.

Two things. Took the nine-month-old with me, obviously. Can't leave her at home with the dog. You can do it with a water bottle. No. Crack a window? Give her a cone or something. And that's how I know.

I went, I only need two things. I'm just going to hold her. I'm not bringing the pram and I'm not putting her in the carrier because all I need is two things. But as soon as you walk through the Woolworths electronic gate, you start going, oh, I should get that. I should get that. What started as nappies and sponges.

Yeah, what did you come out with? Ended up being a watermelon, oranges, kiwis, eggs, cinnamon, fennel seeds, pulse pasta, dishwashing liquid, tomato paste, a lettuce, and some mint slice because obviously mummy needs a treat. And I'm going through the self-serve. A watermelon? Who's walking there going, you know what? I really could do without watermelon.

Every time I walk past a cut watermelon, I just get a hankering. Really, just gets you going. Yeah. And that's hard to carry a watermelon with a baby. I know, right? So I've got the basket slung over my arm, digging into my elbow, cutting off the circulation, using that same hand to pile things into the basket while I'm holding Lucia in the other arm, going through self-surf being like, I came for two things, you idiot.

But as I'm looking around, I went, I bet you everyone in here came for two things and are now walking out with basket or trolley. See, it might shock you that when I go in for specific items, that's all I get because I don't want to spend any more time there than I have to. You go in for nappies and sponges. You're walking out with nappies and sponges. The only thing I get extra is I'll always get a packet of chips. See, even the little treat will always get you.

I'll always get chippies. You'll always get ch packet of chips. See, even the little treat will always get you. Always get chippies. Yeah, always get chippies. Come on. No one has ever walked through a supermarket door and only bought what was on their list or in their mind. Yeah. It's universally impossible. It's tough.

It's tough. It's also, you just can't shop hungry. You just can't go there needing to eat. What do you do when you're someone like me and you're just perpetually hungry? That's when you walk out with a watermelon and chia seeds. With a cut watermelon. Yeah, all these weird things. You never know when you'll need fennel seeds.

I'm like, I better get them while I remember them. That's such a random, like I get snacks. Like I get the drive-by snack where you see it. It's always spices for me because I run out and then go, I wish I had fennel seeds. So I'm just going to stock up when I. When you have four jars of fennel seeds sitting at home. That's right.

You enjoyed those spare ribs I made. They were very good. Fennel seeds, man. Can't run out of fennel seeds. Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. What makes you sadder than it should? I'll start.

Seeing an empty rotisserie chicken bay at Woolies or Coles. Seeing no chooks sitting in their little chicken stand. Nothing. Zero. You're waiting for chooks and prime time shopping on a Sunday. It grinds my gears and hurts me deeper than you can expect. When you feel like a woolish chook, it's like the whole dinner is planned around it. Do you know what I mean?

Absolutely. They're not usually a whim purchase, I don't believe. No. It's like, I want this, I'm eating it when I get home. So for you to be standing there. You know I'd had a bad weekend because I'd tried to break up a dog fight, overdone at the gym, had back spasms in my back. Allegedly. There is contention whether that's true or not.

I know. But we won't get into that. I had back spasms in my back, so I was like flawed all weekend. I couldn't move, like pain meds and like heat packs. And it's cold, so that's not helping. It was annoying. The only time I could get up was yesterday afternoon when I could go to the grocery store to get groceries. My only outing for the weekend.

And you probably thought, honey, I need to do something. Let me get out of the house when I could go to the grocery store to get groceries. My only outing for the weekend. And you probably thought, honey, I need to do something. Let me get out of the house. I'll go do the grocery shop. Well, more than was at work. Oh, well, you had to do it. And I was like, I'm going to have a roast chicken sanger for lunch because they are, with a bit of slaw, they are fantastic. You know what my husband likes to do?

Get that little takeaway pasta salad and put that with his roast chicken in a little sanger. That would work also. I went there and I see that the chooks are empty. So I went around to the side near the sushi there and I see that the chooks are empty. So I went around to the side near the sushi thing and I could see the chooks cooking. Okay. One said 50 minutes. Well, I'm not waiting for that.

Another one said 15 minutes. Oh, 15. You do your shop, come back, there's some chooks. Exactly what I did. I don't care. I'm going to finish off. I'm going to do my shop. I'll pay for it, take it to the car, come back up,

and I'll grab my roast chicken. Easy peasy. That's 15 minutes. It's a good util utilization of your time. Right. And I was pretty slow anyway because I wasn't as mobile. There was a lot of people in there and they didn't have any of the little freaking trolleys, only the big ones.

Oh, the big deep ones. So then in the self-service checkout, you're kind of missing two people because they're on the angle. So you can't fit everyone in there. Mate, what have we said about people who take trolleys through the self-serve? There's a technique and if you don't have it, get out. But you can't do it with the big trolleys because they don't fit over the... Anyway, it's a whole thing.

So I go in there, finally sort that out. So what I'm hearing is you're up against it. There's a few things happening against you. I've taken about probably 24 minutes. Okay. I come back up, go to the chicken place. It says one minute. I was like, one minute?

It's been longer than 15. Yeah. I feel like this is like my washing machine when it says one minute and it's one minute for ages. What reason do you have to lie to me? Yeah. Exactly. Just give me accurate information.

I then went next door to the actual chicken shop. They were also out of chickens with a big queue. And I thought, well, you know what? Woolies is only a minute. I'll just go back there. I went back there. It's still saying a minute. I was like, okay.

Something's going on. By now I've committed too much. People are starting to queue up around the chicken bay. People are wanting their chooks. It's starting to get a bit restless. Were people getting like the deli tickets? So you had orderly... No, it was just people just waiting.

Oh, so now you're going, oh, now I'm going to have to fight a bunch of people. It was chaos. And then I was stressing about, do I grab the first chicken? I've already said a few things. Do I wait for him to come out and put them down? Anyway, when the chickens are done,

they had that sound effect. You mentioned that because I was watching your stories. You were keeping us up to date on Instagram. I've never heard the chicken alarm. Not the first time I've waited by the chicken. Evidently, you know where to wait for the chicken alarm. When they're reading, they go, caw, caw. They do the caw, caw.

It happened three times. I was like, can someone get the freaking chooks out? I'm ready to go. It's like when you're at a restaurant, you can see your meal standing under the lights. You're like, just I need to wait it to bring it to my table. This is you at Woolies. Genuinely was. It genuinely was. Eventually, some guy a waiter to bring it to my table. This is you at Woolies. Genuinely was. It genuinely was.

Eventually, some guy sees that they're ready. He then starts making it. He then starts bagging them up. It was the slowest bagging ever. It took, I reckon I waited. He's just toying with you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's clocked you from the corner of your eye.

How long can I make this guy wait? They were looking at me knowing that it's the saddest thing that I, I'm waiting for my chicken. My groceries are probably going off in the car as it is. I've waited 48 minutes. As I'm waiting. It chicken. My groceries are probably going off in the car as it is. I've waited 48 minutes. As I'm waiting. It's been 48 minutes.

As I'm waiting, I'm filming this. This old lady swoops in. She must be late 80s. She swoops in straight up and goes, can I get a chicken? As the guy's coming out, grabs one off his trolley and walks off. You are often a mobile guy, but you are under the pump with your back spasms. She was limber. She was limber. She was limber. She swanned in, picked it up, swooped out before you'd had a chance to blink.

I couldn't believe what had happened. Everyone's like, mate, you didn't have good trolley awareness and presence. You need to get up in there. You didn't get feisty enough. She just did not care. Came in. I had a bunch of people message me, and someone said, someone's like, I know who that is. Of course they do.

Her name's Maria. I was like, well, Maria stole my frigging chook. So, and then someone else goes, that's my grandma. That's Maria. I was like, well, your nan is a feisty bird thief. Can't wait to get to that age where you don't care. There's a cube. I don't care.

I'm swooping in. I'm coming in. So 13, 10, 60. What makes you sadder than it should? Quickly, we'll go to Kelly. She's on the line. You've got a hack about the chickens, Kelly. I do.

You mentioned that the chickens drive you crazy. Well, the good news is at Coles, if they don't have any chickens and you ask the person, there's certain times of the day, whereas if they don't have them on sale because they've run out, you can get one for free. So that kind of makes another day feel a bit better. Kelly, does it matter that some were cooking, though? Would that have worked?

Because some were coming eventually. Well, you just tell them that you're in a hurry and that should be on display. I can't wait. See, a lot of people did message me on social media about this, Kelly, on my Instagram, and I must admit I was too much of a coward, too much of a chicken to actually ask for the chickens. So you're saying if I went up to them and said, I'm in a hurry, where are the chooks? They would have given me a voucher for free or is this just a cold thing?

Which would have been crappy on the day, but great for another day because it would have been free. Okay. And you know what I did, Kelly? But you know what he would have hit you with? Oh, it's just a minute, mate. Just wait. Just wait. Well, then you would have got the chicken you wanted anyway.

Well, Kelly, you know what I did? I freaked out so much when I did my chicken grab because of Maria taking my chicken that I didn't look at the chicken I got. Oh. And I didn't get great value. Oh, no. You got a thin bird. I got a thin bird.

Oh, you panicked. There wasn't much juice on my bird, you know. 13, 10, 60. What makes you sadder than it should? For Ducko, it's the empty chicken bay. It makes me. And also old lady swooping in and taking the first joke. I learnt a lot about myself and about her yesterday.

What makes a Saturday? It should have given us a call. Do it next. Jess and Ducko. I had an incident at Woolies. What makes me sad is seeing an empty rack of rotisserie chickens. That's right. And then waiting.

What was the total wait time? Pretty much the best part of an hour. That's right. When it said one minute, it's like your washing machine. It doesn't mean one minute until they're ready. Your commitment is admirable. Thank you. But I understand the disappointment, the heartache,

and seeing an empty chicken bay. Shargo, you had something over the weekend that made you sadder. My internet always drops out, and when it drops out, I'm watching Netflix, and then that little red wheel comes up. It's like mid-show, mid-movie, and it's like, come on, man. Because then you know it's the start of the end. It's going to happen at least three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's just work. Buffering makes you sadder than it should. Buff it's the start of the end. It's going to happen at least three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just work. Buffering makes you sadder than it should. Buffering. It's a good one. Let's go to Amanda. Good morning, Amanda. Hello. How are you?

Yeah, good. Thanks, babe. You sound really chipper for a Monday morning, so we're sorry to bring you down. But what makes you sadder than it probably should? Well, not to mention the fact that we've had a weekend of cold and flus in the house. After my lovely man flu husband and unappreciative teenagers, I went to the fridge on my special night to have my one little treat to find that my charming children had already eaten my chocolate.

How rude. That is tough. You've been looking forward to that as well. Absolutely. That's rude. You know what, I don that as well. Absolutely. That's the fruit. You know what? I don't think that makes you sadder than it should. That is as sad as you should be.

Do you know what I mean? What's Morty's heartening? We go to Jeff on 131060. Jeff, what makes you sadder than it should? I think a lot of people should agree with me, and it's probably happening to them right now, but the old courtesy way when they're driving. Oh, Jeff, that is a doozy.

Jeff. Yes. When you physically got to slow down out of your way that little bit just to let a car in and it can really set your day off the right way or the wrong way. You really lose faith in humanity, don't you, Jeff? Oh, yeah. It's like, yeah. All it takes is that little, yeah.

Just a little wave. Just a little. The two-finger salute. That's all it is. Give me a two-finger salute. That's all it is. That's all you need to do. Jeff, that is a great one. That-finger salute. That's all it is. Give me a two-finger salute. That's all it is. That's all you need to do. Jeff, that is a great one.

That's a fantastic one. That fires me up too. If you let someone in into a tight street or something. We're living in a society, people. Come on. Come on. Let's go to Bonnie. Let's go to Bonnie.

Can we go to Bonnie? I'm having issues with the phones. There we go. Bonnie, are you there with us? Hey. Hello. What makes you sadder than it should, darling? Oh, when my kids walked on my mop floors.

Oh! Bonnie, can I give you my equivalent? Because I know my husband's listening at the moment. Oh, yeah. I vacuum the floor. He takes the kid out in the pram, brings the pram in, all bitsy, grassy, muddy, dragged through the house. Oh, you could just kill them.

I feel you, Bonnie. Yeah, that is frustrating. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. That's a good one. I don't know if this is madder or sadder, Ducko. I feel you, Bonnie. Yeah, that is frustrating. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, that's a good one. I don't know if this is madder or sadder, Ducker. You asked for sadder. I did. A lot of these are madder.

This is mad, but I'll take it. I kind of like it. It's making me feel better. Totally. Aaron, what makes you madder slash sadder than it should? Oh, mate, you know, when you sleep at night and you wake up and your head's on the mattress and your pillow's nowhere to be found, you've broken up the bed. And you can sleep at home everywhere in the dark and you can't see nothing.

Such a good one. How is the pillow getting away from you at night, Aaron? No, that's having a big fight. What do you think? Your neck's sore because you're not actually on your pillow because you've just moved around. Are you rearranging in your sleep? Yes.

Either that or you're just playing game football in your sleep. Yeah, you're doing something. Me and Aaron are having active dreams. I love that everyone up until this point we can blame someone else, but you and Aaron on this one, you only got yourselves to blame. Where did that pillow go? Why is it like this? Peter, good morning to you.

Hello, Peter. Hello. Hi, Peter. What makes you sadder or madder than it should? The soft serve ice cream machine at McDonald's being out of order. 100%. A tale as old as time. It's always a bit at night too.

Hang on a minute, Peter. Are you getting ice cream? It's freezing. Are you one of these people who like ice cream in the depths of winter? No, no. I'm casting my mind back to one time. Oh, she's still mad about it. Yeah, you hold on to those things. You hold on to it. She's holding on to it from summer. You can't

let go of that stuff. Oh, fantastic. And let's wrap this up with Kelly. Kelly, we're having a bit of a group therapy session. Get it off your chest, babe. What makes you sadder than it should? Well, it's definitely made me quite sad. Um, if having to attend a family lunch the day after my four-year-old shares four stories on Snapchat of me in the shower. No, no, no, no. My nephew, my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, everyone envied it. I had dancing pizza emojis on my head, pepperoni placed on my body part. Oh, so it wasn't an accidental upload.

So you knew your son was filming you while you were in the shower, but you just thought it was just like nothing? Oh, you couldn't see? No, it was my four-year-old daughter. She was sitting on my bed and I was in my en suite. And I thought she was just chatting and having a good laugh. No, she had turned the camera around and posted four separate stories of me fully complete.

You could see everything. My sister-in-law, 24 hours later, decided to call me. Expired by then. How long did it take them to say something to you at the family barbecue? Like, so? Oh, actually, my father-in-law brought it up, so that was even more awful. Oh, that's what you want? Jess and Ducko. I'm really enjoying this parenting thing and seeing how different Angus and I are approaching. Oh, your different styles? The various challenges,

the various hurdles, the way he does stuff. He's working it out just as much as I am. No one's right, no one's wrong. But yesterday, he was like, you're wrong. And I'm like, no, you're wrong. We took our eight month old to the post office to get some photographs taken. It's always an interesting time going to post offices, isn't it? It is because my God, they can literally do everything there. Is anyone buying the things that they're selling in the store that's not like the letters and stamps and like the weird like knickknacks they've got? I have bought plush toys from there. Have you?

For the dog. I don't think they're dog toys. Oh, okay. But always, you know, like at the supermarket, they have the Twix or the Mint. Oh, yeah. They've got in the same spot, so it just catches your eye as you pan. You go, yeah, I will add that to my purchase. A giant stuffed unicorn.

I think the dog might enjoy that. That he destroys within five minutes of being brought home. Oh, he's enjoyed it. But there are a lot of knickknacks and a lot of kiddie stuff, actually. A lot of kiddie books and kiddie toys. But everyone there's always depressed because you only go in there, you need something, i.e. a passport or something's delivered or something got dropped to your house but you weren't home so they took you to the post office.

Yes. So it is a little bit. And I always get, we obviously have the luxury of finishing early because we work early. So I go to the post office at 11am. Why is there a queue? There's always a queue. There's a queue at the post office. I thought everyone worked nine to five.

When I had to pick up my passport like months ago, I went early before it opened. There was a queue of three people before I got there. Oh my God. What are they all doing? I get the two old biddies in there who get their book of stamps. I overheard one woman saying, I'm going to need a book of stamps. I said, she's keeping the stamp industry afloat. Good on you, Beryl.

Good on you. But we did, Angus did cut out of work early because I thought, I can't do this on my own. Lucia is getting a passport because I think I've worn Angus down enough. Are you going overseas? We're going to try and book a trip. What? In like a couple of weeks? Oh my God. Where to? Not Europe? No, I don't think Europe's going to happen.'re going to try and book a trip. What? In like a couple of weeks? Oh my god. Where to?

Not Europe? Nah, I don't think Europe's going to happen. I didn't wear him down that much. He says he loves me, but pfft. No, we're probably going to look at like a Fiji or a New Zealand. Ah, yeah. Just to get away. Yeah. But obviously the baby, now we're cutting it too close. Oh crap. Passport. This thing doesn't take a minute. Yeah.

This takes at least three weeks, even if you do the express. Yeah. So we really had to scramble to get the photographs taken. He said that's the last part. He's done all the paperwork. Yeah. But he came home, as I said, at 11. We thought, all right, we'll get our things together, go to the post office. He came home to an absolute chaotic house.

He goes, what is all this stuff? I had changed her outfit about 15 times. To go to the post office? To go to the post office? To go to the post office. What, because you didn't think it was on brand enough? No, for the photos. How about the trip to the post office? It's the photo, ducko.

How often do baby passport photos expire? Is it like six months for them or a year? You know what I mean? Because obviously humans are 10 years now. Adults are 10 years. Yes, because we shouldn't change too much physically once you're like 18 plus. Surely a baby passport, when we look that up,

surely it's like six months. I don't know. No one's going to see this photo except for you and immigration and they do not care. I want the customs person. It's five years for under 15 year olds. Five years, ducko!

That is longer than I thought. Hang on a minute, so my five year old daughter will have the same photo that she took at eight months old? Services New South Wales for children aged 15 and under, the passport is valid for five years. She's going to get questioned she took at eight months old. Services New South Wales for children aged 15 and under. The passport is valid for five years.

She's going to get questioned for sure at five years old because this is a baby photo. You can get a 10-year passport after the age of 16. Well, there you go. So proves my point. I didn't know that, but thank you. So when five-year-old Lucia is going to Europe again on her summer holiday because mummy's cracked the shit, she's not going to Europe,

she will see her baby passport photo. I had every drawer in her room. I'd even made Angus in the shit. She's not going to Europe. She will see her baby passport photo. I had every drawer in her room. I'd even made Angus in the morning. He didn't know why, but I thought ahead. We've got like other clothes in the attic that, you know, we can't fit in her cupboards. And I was like, can you get that tub out? I want to make sure there's some winter clothes.

Lies. I just wanted to check all options. So there were just clothes everywhere. She had cracked the sads because I had obviously, she's got a giant head. So getting things over her head really distresses her. But I had changed her that many times. It's a real issue with tops.

It's a real issue with t-shirts. She's got the Harper head, man. It is gigantic. It is a big head. Yeah, yeah. She's wearing, like, babies for like a 12-month-old because I can't get other things over her head. It's really tight on the, it's like short on the body but big on the head. Like 100%.

She's got to stretch out the neck hole for this little girl. But I had clothes everywhere. And Angus walked in going, exactly your philosophy. Why have you? This is so silly. I'd landed on a lovely. Do you have a photo? You've got a photo.

Show me a photo. I want to see what you've landed on. Did you take a photo of every outfit? No, I should have. I took a photo of the passport. I want to be immigration. You want this here? Oh, you've got photos.

I got the photo of the passport. Because the funny thing about passport photos is this here? Oh, you've got photos. I got the photo of the passport. Because the funny thing about passport photos is you can't, oh, look, you can't see anything she's wearing. You can only see the head. So I ended up with a. It is a big head. It's a giant head. She looks so unhappy.

What is that? It looks like she's wearing seatbelts around either side of her. Are they overalls? They're overalls. Oh, no, no, no. I thought more of that would be captured. She looks so unhappy. She looks like she just dropped a deuce.

Do you see that? Do you see that? She looks like she should have said that. Do you see that mark on her face too? Yeah. So I blame Dangus for that. I would have said, your scratchy beard. You know what had happened?

She caught herself on one of the buckles. On the buckles, getting it over her big head. Yes, that was actually my fault. It looks like she's wearing a futuristic seatbelt on both sides of her shoulders. No, it's cute bunny overalls. You can't tell. You can't tell because you can only see from the neck up. I thought more of her would be in.

So I landed on that nice little romper underneath with the overall over top. But I thought, you'll be proud of me, I pulled out some Gorman, the crazy prince. But I thought, no, she might get flagged. I think you have to be relatively neutral. So I've gone for cream and brown, yeah? Walking to the post office and the woman goes, oh, is he here for his passport? I went, it's a girl.

I love that. They're going to go to Fiji. And they're going to look at this and they're going to be like, Lucia Margarita Harper. And they're going to look at this and they're going to be like, Lucia Margarita Harper. And they're going to see this little Aussie looking big headed thing in a seatbelt overalls. I just put so much effort into it. And then we got there.

Too much. And they've got a great little tactic. So the parent, well, I guess, sat to the, like, sat askew and then had Lucia on his knees. So then they can get just her without anyone in the background with the white backdrop. Yeah. But I was like, hang on, and I'm fixing her hair.

I brought a little comb and Angus is going, get out. She's about to crack it. Just let them take the picture. I went, but she's going to have this photo for however long. I've got to make sure her hair's cute. And it's a doozy of a photo too. Shut up. I tried really hard.

Jess and Ducko in the morning.