Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - THROWBACK | What went wrong at the wedding?

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

In this best of show: Jess has a new game for Ducko, we get wedding horror stories and then fnd some red flags in a relationshipSubscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jess and Daco. Daco, I have a challenge for you. Yes. To get on the same wavelength as my darling mother, Lisa. Now, you and my mum have a solid connection. A bond, I think. You've got a bond. So if anyone can work this game, it'd be you. Because I don't think the average punter can. But please, feel free to play along at home. Yeah. While my parents were visiting over the Easter long weekend, I set my mum a bit of a challenge. I said, Mum, I'm going to give you a couple of songs that are running hot and heavy on the hit playlist. I want you to read the lyrics, listen to the song,

and then in your own words, describe the song. I'm going to play that description for the duck man. He has to work out what the song is. And she went, I got this. Okay. Now, I've had a listen, obviously. Shy Guy, producer Shy Guy've had a listen, obviously. Shy Guy, producer Shy Guy's had a listen.

Yeah. It's going to be a tough job for Ducko. Yeah. Because you've got to get into the mind. So she's describing the song. She's describing the song. She's reading the lyrics. Okay. So she's trying to get the essence.

Okay. Also, she's reading lyrics not in the same tune as the song. Well, no, no. She's not giving you that much. Okay. She's trying to describe what the song's about. Okay. If the song had a caption.

Yeah. I see. You know, when they've interviewed maybe the artist afterwards, how they would describe it. You've got to get in my mum's head, though. Okay, good. So really broaden your mind, Ducco. Okay, this sounds tough.

This is on high rotation, this song, Ducco. So I've tried to help you out in that regard. This is my mum's description. See if you can work out what song she Ducko. So I've tried to help you out in that regard. This is my mum's description. See if you can work out what song she's describing. This is one mean mama who doesn't care who she's going to step on, but she's going places, man. What song is my mum talking about there, Ducko? If you need more, there is an extended.

Oh, is there an extended? Do you want to take a punt? Is it Beyonce, Texas Hold'em? It is not. Okay, let me hear the extended. Sure, sure. She's going to reach for the sky and she doesn't care who is in her way. They are going to be slaughtered because she's reaching for the sky. Sky.

And her happiness will be at others' misfortune. Is it a Taylor Swift song? It's not. Oh, jeez. That's reaching for the sky. Yeah. She's going to kill some people. This is the song my mum's not. Oh, jeez. That's reaching for the sky. Yeah. She's gonna kill some people. This is the song my mum's trying to describe.

Hang on. She's interpreted Paint the Town Red as killing people. She doesn't care who she is. I was like, who's singing about space launching the sky? No, she's saying... Doja Cat, Paint the Town Red. Because red, she thought blood, slaughtered. She's gonna step all over. No, she's saying she's going to. Doja Cat, paint the town red. Because red, she thought blood.

Slaughtered. She's going to step all over. Oh, this is going to be tough. Now, that was a warm up. Oh, jeez. Are you in my mum's head now? Oh, calm in. All right.

Let's go for song number two. What is my mum trying to describe? Again, heavy, heavy rotation this song. This is a woman obsessed with a male person who has a very nice body and even though he's not a nice person she's not worrying about that because, oh boy, he does it for her. The hot dude got a nice body.

Yep. It's on very high rotation. We play it. We play it a lot. It is a Taylor Swift song. Okay. Which Taylor Swift song is my mum talking about? A hot dude.

She doesn't care. His morals aren't up all that, aren't up to all that, because he does it for her as my mum. What Taylor song would it be? What Taylor song? Is it Cruel Summer? The shape of your body. The shape of the body.

Yeah. That makes more sense. You get it? Okay. Now you're in her head. It's hard really. You're trying to think of all song lyrics. You are.

Or sort of all blend into one. Because she's taking a lot of them quite literally. Let's try number three, Ducko. Okay. Look, just forget your inhibitions. Come to me now. Let's dance a groove and boogie, boogie, boogie. Boogie, boogie, boogie.

If you can get this, I'll give you $10. Boogie Boogie Boogie. I have no idea what you're talking about. Let's dance a groove. I'm going to hear it again. Hold on. Look, just forget your inhibitions. Forget.

Come to me now. Let's dance a groove. Tyler and Water. Just went for one. It's not. It's this. Hang on a minute. Boogie, boogie, boogie.

Hold on. If you hear this song, you can actually just hear it to say boogie, boogie, boogie. Boogie, boogie, boogie. Oh, yeah. That checks out. I don't know. Is that Beyonce or your mum? It's Beyonce.

Now, this one, Ducker, I'm going to have to cast your mind back. It is a little old, this one. It's on high rotation on R&B Friday. Okay, so we haven't played it today. Okay. But take your mind to Friday, R&B playlist. Here's the song. the the getting quite intimate and how

What do you think that lyric is a euphemism for? That's for the the willy. The willy. It's an R&B funny song. It's an old one, but jeez, when it comes on, particularly the ladies.

Is it like getting jiggy with it? Close. The ladies at a hen's party. Oh, genuine, ponies. Jump on it. Ride it. The Willy. My it. The Willie. My mum worked it out.

She knows what ponies are euphemism for. The Willie. You're doing very well. Thanks, mate. I feel like I'm killing it. I've got one more for you. This is tough. Now, this one.

Yeah. I told my mum to get on your wavelength. Have a listen. Now, this is something to get excited about. I love this song. Why? Because it's about he's used a metaphor to explain his love of another person, which I just think is absolutely fascinating. He's used the metaphor of a – you said I can't say s***.

I beeped the name of the song. She didn't swear. It's a common song we play? It's a common song you play. Oh, is it Benny Banassi's cinema? She finds it fascinating, Ducco. Hang on. What does she think it's a metaphor for?

She thinks it's a metaphor for love. Actually, she's not wrong. Benny Banassi and Gary go arse-singing about it. She literally said, you said I can't say cinema. I was like, well, you've just given the place. Shy guy's going to have to work double time to be. Boogie, boogie, boogie. Anyway, so well done. I think you really well, you've just given the place away. Shy Guy's going to have to work double time to be... Boogie, boogie, boogie. Anyway, so well done. I think you really got on my mum's way. I think so.

Me and your mum. The Willy. Jess and Jacko. You know when you buy stuff these days, you get an email three days later going, review the item you bought and you could go in the draw to win a voucher. The brand, have you ever had any of those? I just delete them. Oh, I feel like I'm getting them a lot and I'm a sucker for something like that.

Yeah. And I just wrote, I bought these pants for my husband and they make his bum look good. You reckon I'm going to win that hundred bucks? Is it a hundred bucks voucher to that store? To that store. Right, okay. I reckon that might be me. I could do it.

Yeah, I think so. They accentuate his buttocks. Because like you, I reckon a lot of people would just delete those emails. Yeah. Surely no one's writing reviews like that. And if anyone writing reviews is actually writing real reviews, like your husband's at us, does it actually look that good after that? I mean, but this is the issue.

He's got a great bump. Doesn't matter what pants he's wearing. I see. Your name and your review goes into that website. Correct. But Trenary doesn't know that. You know what I mean? They just think the pants did a good job.

See, what you should say is my husband's butt never looks good. But now in these pants. They do look amazing. It's popping. Girls be staring. Let me go in and edit it. You can fix the wording, I guess. No, no. I now in these pants. They do look amazing. It's poppin'. Girls be starin'. Let me go in and edit it. You can fix the wording, I guess. No, no.

I was just vibing. I like that. Because Trenary, it's a bit more, you know, it's like a country road. It's that sort of tiara. I can aim for a younger demographic. Yeah. But be poppin'. But be poppin'.

Thank you so much. If I win the $100. $50 my way. $50 your way, Del. I want my butt to be poppin' too. You want your butt to be poppin'? I don't have a butt. It's very flat.

Someone said that to me before. There's no outwards. It's just straight down. And you focus. You know, you gym focus. Have you ever tried to build the booty? I followed Kim Kardashian's booty routine for months. You know, you need the bikini body guide, the booty.

Yeah, a strong quad, but seemingly thin buttocks. Ah, you're overloading the quad and not getting enough load in the bum. Maybe. Maybe I'm too front heavy. Maybe. Yeah, a strong quad, but seemingly a thin buttocks. Ah, you're overloading the quad and not getting enough load in the bum. Maybe. Maybe I'm too front heavy. Maybe. Yeah. Go to the gym today. I know you've got a midday class booked in.

Yeah. And just say to your trainer, hey, Dave. Hey. I need to work the bum. Come on. Look at this butt. What foods do I need to be eating to build booty? Yeah.

Or do we just buy Trenary pants? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. It's all in the pant. Maybe. I do think butt is one of those things you naturally have it or you don't. I think so. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's either junk in's all in the pant. Maybe. I do think butt is one of those things you naturally have it or you don't. I think so.

You know what I mean? Yeah. There's either junk in that trunk or the trunk is empty. You're saying I can't build that. You're either driving a family mover or a Prius. Ah. You know what I mean? One or the other. I mean, I look to your dad's bum often.

Yes. And he also, not a lot of junk in the trunk. I guess he doesn't, does he? Not a lot of junk in the trunk. I don't think my mum does either. He's a genetic. See, I look at my father-in-law's bum. Good bum. That's where Angus gets it from. I hope he doesn't, does he? Not a lot of junk in the trunk. I don't think my mum does either. He's a genetic. I see. I look at my father-in-law's bum. Good bum.

That's where Angus gets it from. I hope he's listening. He is a big listener. Good morning, Pete. Good morning, Pete. He looks in the mirror. He's like, I do that a bit. As if that's not getting Pete going all day.

Poppy Pete's got it going on. Poppy Pete. He'd be sitting up there where he is right now going. Angus has got to get it from somewhere. Absolutely. Poppy Pete, baby. So yeah, let us know if you get the free pants. I will.

Should we play Alpha Box? We should. It'd be $ Pete, baby. So, yeah, let us know if you get the free pants. I will. Should we play Alpha Box? We should. With $10,000, imagine all the pants you could buy. What's your butt doing, Shy Guy? How's it go? Oh, there is no... I don't know how he stays on seats. I haven't got one.

He's got one. No bum. Just straight with me? Jeez, okay. Yeah. It's lucky your pants stay up. You know, nothing's keeping them there. Oh, he needs a good belt.

He needs a good belt. He needs a strong belt. He needs a good belt. He needs a strong belt. He needs a fantastic belt. Big belt boy over here. Yeah. Jess and Zucko. 13, 10, 60. What went wrong at the wedding?

Wedding horror stories. There's a very funny thread online. Some of these stories, I just can't believe stuff like this happens at weddings. Yep. And I have a very funny story about a friend's wedding from a few weeks ago as well, which I'll share with you. But first, how's this one? It was an overcast day.

It had rained earlier that day. A nightmare for the bride and groom. I've been there myself. When there was an unsupervised kid, kids at weddings, fraught with danger, about six or seven years old, ran up to a puddle that was behind the bride, jumped in the puddle because puddles are fun, got muddy, dirty water all over the bride's dress. Oh, my God. I'm picturing like it's the middle of the ceremony and the kid's just gone loose.

So the parent's like, oh, that's all right. They can run around. Or they're about to take the photos and the bride's doing that classic look back photo walk. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride. Splash. Bang. What about this one?

The bride did that classic scene where she gently fed the wedding cake to her new husband. Oh, I hate this trend. Yeah, that's weird. Oh, no. The groom then does the classic male thing where he fed the wedding cake to her new husband. Oh, I hate this trend. Yeah, that's weird. The groom then does the classic male thing where he shoves the cake in her face. But he did it so hard, obviously thinking he was in the locker room with the boys. He broke one of her teeth. She tripped over, fell backwards, and then broke her wrist. Oh, Jesus!

And she broke her wrist and her teeth, and she was bleeding from the mouth. I'm guessing that marriage has lasted a day. That is a sackable offence. It doesn't say. It's not good. What about this one? It must be a Scottish wedding. It must be some kilts on or something like that.

Don't tell me a rogue Johnson. Oh, no. I think this, I would rather a rogue Johnson. So my boyfriend's oldest brother's wedding, whatever, one of his mates got so plastered, he lost control of his bows and shat himself in a kilt. There's no. Ain't no hiding. That's coming straight out the back leg. 100%. There's no catchment area on a kilt, I didn't think. And I love this one as well. You would rather

a Rogue Johnson, wouldn't you? I would rather. It's less like intimidating seeing a Rogue Johnson than someone just... Because at least it might just be a flash and it's gone. If you're doing a... A full on, yeah, number two. During the Eagle Rock, God forbid. Everyone's sliding around. I want to know this one. I love when grooms get super nervous.

During the vows, the groom was just so nervous, he threw up. And I mean projectile vomited all over the bride, the maid of honour, and then the celebrant. The celebrant. Vomited everywhere. I don't understand when people say they're nervous at their own wedding. Like, and then the celebrant. The celebrant. Vomited everywhere. I don't understand when people say they're nervous at their own wedding. Like, they've already said yes, you're there. There's nothing to be nervous about.

I suppose it's everyone just staring at you at the front. Yeah, okay, fair. There was a wedding I was at a few weeks ago where they had an MC who, classic sort of celebrant MC double, you can hire them, whatever. Oh, so not a friend. He wasn't a friend. They paid to be there? Yes.

He did an okay job. Hang on, you didn't get asked. No, thank God. It was hard enough. He did an okay job, but then at the end, he still had the mic. He still had the mic with him, and it was on, and he didn't realize it was on. And he was talking to the photographer who was next, obviously being paid to be there taking photos as well. And he literally came on the mic and was like, oh, I can't wait to effing get out of here. This is the MC? The MC. He's like, oh man, I can't wait to effing get out of here. This is the MC? The MC. He's like, oh, man, I can't wait to get out of here.

And it was still a hot mic. As if he's been blasted around the whole venue. And we were next to the, and like the bride and groom were near the PA. We heard it. Everyone was like, did he just say that? How terrible. It was super awkward too, because then he had to act like he didn't. And everyone was going to be like, it's fine.

It's all good. Mate, I hope you've been paid up front because I would not pay an MC after that fact. Like you were tracing the rest of your 50%. I wouldn't have thought so, champion. But it also made me feel good because I was like, that's why we never, we're not on my watch. I appreciate that the internet has contributed to this. You had your own as a guest story. Did you want to go through all the shit that went wrong at your own wedding, bro?

Because that could take up another three minutes. There was so many. Dad getting stuck in the lift. It was like a cyclone the morning of. Cyclone, yep. Yeah, there was heaps going on. Your father-in-law going for 25 minutes. His wedding speech is still going.

13, 10, 16, what went wrong at the wedding? Can you top those stories? Jess and Ducko. What went wrong at the wedding? Oh, yeah. A list of Reddit threads gone viral. A bunch of things happening at weddings. There was a guy at a wedding in a kilt, and he had a bit of an IBS attack.

Maybe he was a bit too plastered. Shat himself. It all slid down the kilt. There was a groom that threw up on his bride and the celebrant because he was so nervous when doing his vows. A kid jumping in a puddle. In sickness and in health. I mean, she's just committed to that.

It starts that day. A kid jumping in a puddle after it had been raining, already ruining the bride's day, splashing her with mud. Hopefully she had a reception, Jess. She could just quickly get changed into. Yeah. Cherie, 131060, what went wrong at the wedding? Hi, guys.

My main problem was actually my wedding planner. Oh. They're meant to be the best part, keep it all easy for you, Cherie. Oh, man. Yeah. By the end of it, I was ready to just go and tell her where to go, to be honest. I come into the reception, and my dress got caught. And I said to her, hang on, I'm stuck.

And she ended up ripping my dress. And out of the dress was this massive hole. And she said, oh, it's your fault anyhow. And I was like, yeah, no, I was stuck. And she's going, no, no, come on, hurry up. You've got to get in. You've got to get in. So we went in.

I've got this massive hole at the side of my dress. And then she proceeded to spill drink and food all over me for the next half an hour because she was in such a hurry and in a fluster. This sounds like a personal vendetta, Cherie. This feels very tough. Her first day on the job. Yeah.

Ripping a hole in the bride's dress. Oh, my God. Thank you, Cherie. Let's go to Nathan on 131060. Nathan, what went wrong at the wedding? Hey, guys. So my auntie had made a dessert table and as my mother-in-law was giving a speech, the dessert table actually caught on fire,

and the crochet balls that were hanging above the tea lights, as they caught on fire, my auntie's gone over there to try and put them out and burn her hand. But since then, she hasn't spoken to us. It's been five years now. Oh, my God. It's not your fault it went on fire. Yeah, it wasn't our fault. But the auntie went to put it out

and burnt her hair and it's even more of a commotion. Oh my goodness. How did they catch on fire, do you know? Just the heat from the little tea lights, yeah, just combusted. Oh my God, you never think a tea light is going to be the cause of ruining a wedding? Nothing like a wedding to break a family apart a little bit, too.

Absolutely. And a fire. Brooke on 131060, what went wrong at the wedding, babe? Hey, guys. I was eight months pregnant, really feeling myself and feeling pregnant. Walked into my reception, pulled my own chair out, and my husband thought it would be great to get my chair for me also. Yes.

And I hit the deck, and I had to drop,, tuck and roll to get back up in front of everyone. Eight months pregnant to get back to my reception, get off the ground. Oh, my God. Drop, tuck and roll in front of everyone. Just like a big. In a wedding dress, guys, eight months pregnant. Oh, jeez. I will never forget that moment.

Oh, wow. The embarrassment on his face was quite funny. Absolutely. It's like a turtle on the shell trying to get up. Yes. I remember my brother telling me he was at a wedding before and he's your best mate and, you know, very rowdy on the dance floor. The husband picked up his new bride, put her on the shoulders and dropped her.

And she disappeared. She never came. She was mortified. She probably was in a bit of pain too. Yeah. And disappeared for the whole wedding. You don't want to be embarrassed on your big day. It's a high risk doing that, putting them on the shoulders.

100%. When you're bloody 15 beers a day. Yeah. Maddie, something went wrong with the decorations? Yeah, g'day. So I was at my brother's wedding and he had a few little helium balloons floating up in the centre of the cable. That's just a good time.

Yeah, mum thought it would be a good idea to put some little candles around the balloons. And the string caught on fire and the balloons let go, but the string kept burning and hit the ceiling and then a big bang. No. And all the sprinklers went off, so everyone was quite happy. No way. Yeah.

Was this before or after the speeches? Like, was the night kind of coming to an end? Yeah, no, it was sort of about midway. So I think the MC was midway and there was a few bangs. I just love Matt's mum's like, you know what? This place is missing. The ambience of the candle around the helium balloon. She was trying to help.

She was trying to help. Classic mummers. Moody, though. A bit of wet dancing. You know what I mean? It's coming down. Sprinkles are coming down. May was trying to help. Classic mothers. Moody, though. A bit of wet dancing, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. It's coming down. Sprinkles are coming down. May as well dance.

I like that. And let's wrap up with Brioni. Good morning, Brie. Hi. How are you doing? Yeah, good, thank you. I don't like the sound of this. Another wedding dress disaster?

Yes, caught on fire. Another fire? What's happening with fires at weddings? What happened? So all the formalities were done. My husband and I were just standing near the bridal table. He had his arm around me and obviously we were standing too close to the candelabra and the back of my dress just went up.

My best friend and my auntie were running at us and we were like, what are they doing? And they spun me around and she starts whacking me and they're like, you're on fire. You're on fire, doll. You look so hot, Brianna. You've actually done it. Brianna's like, yeah, no, I'm feeling myself today.

Yay! I know. Absolutely shocking. So did they put you out? Like, were you all good? They did. They did, yeah. But my poor Arnie had blisters all over her hands.

I felt so terrible. What up? Did you have another dress to change into, Bri, or did that just become part of the wedding? No, I didn't. I just had to stay in it. And then my have another dress to change into, Brie, or did that just become part of the hustle of the wedding? No, no, I didn't. I just had to stay in it. And then my poor husband had to, like, rip it apart when we were, like, back at the motel.

Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. Can't expect marriage much. Hey, good call, Brownie. My poor dress was ruined. Oh, we're going to hook you up with those Easter show tickets to make up for it as well, and a combination of Park Royal Parramatta,

your perfect family getaway this school holidays. That's all yours. Thank you. You're very welcome. Don't set that on fire. No. You know, the big in Park Royal, Parramatta, your perfect family getaway this school holidays. That's all yours. Thank you. You're very welcome. Don't set that on fire. No. You know, the big take out here, no fire at weddings, no candles. Helium balloons, though, fun.

We can suck the air in. You can have a helium balloon. Just leave the candles away from them. Good call. Good for you. Jess and Ducko. I just got handed a list of reasons people have ended relationships on the spot, then and there,

but they are the pettiest things you will ever read in your life. We are talking about relationships a lot on the program. We're trying to hook up one of our single colleagues, and unfortunately our bloke today ghosted us, which is just unfathomable that he didn't want his first date broadcast across the state. How could he? It's quite rude. Yeah.

So I appreciate that would maybe on the list why you've ended a relationship before it even got off the ground. Totally. But some of these, Ducko, I feel like I should get paired with a lot of these people because listen to some of these reasons. I went on a first date with a guy who couldn't parallel park in a spot twice the size of his car. The date was over before it even begun.

There's nothing uglier or less attractive than seeing someone really struggle, particularly a bloke with a parallel park. The number of times I've had to bail out of trying, like you're on a main road. All the traffic's built up. And you know that the people on the street, God forbid you're in front of a cafe or something, and then the cars that you've held up and how fast I rip my car away and be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll go find somewhere else. Someone said, I once ended up with a guy I went on after a few dates because he always

had eye boogers. Wash your face. Oh, a little sleep in the eye. If you're not washing your face before a date, when are you washing your face? You just want to poke it out, don't you? You just want to poke that eye thing out. So I've been married for three years with my husband for about six. I love to get in and get them myself.

Of course you would. And he's like, just tell me. I'll do it myself. Leave me alone. You're scratching my retina. Someone said, the pettiest reason I ever stopped dating someone, because they made really bad tacos. That's inexcusable.

If he's invited you over for a bit of a taco night, that's bold, obviously. It's a bit of a fun thing, but it's bold to try and cook from scratch and provide all those ingredients. I'd dump him too. I went on a date with a guy. Now, we know pineapple on pizza is contentious, Ducko, but I went on a date with a guy who ordered shrimp as an extra on his pizza, and that was it for me. What do you stand with?

Little shrimps on your pizza. It is nice. I never order it, but if it's there and someone has one, I'll have a piece. If it's an optional extra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't eat seafood, but I don't think that's that heinous. Yeah.

This one's interesting. I once broke up with a guy because he said John Mayer was the greatest musician of our generation. Now, that's fair enough. I mean, your body is a wonderland. Body is a wonderland. He's not the greatest musician of our generation. No, I wouldn't have thought so.

Dago, how do you feel about this? Because you're quite an athletic boy. You've got many talents. How do you feel about this? This chick is saying, I once went on a date with a guy, and he offered to do a cartwheel. He wanted to show me. I said, I really didn't need to see him do that, but he did it anyway. Hey, do you want to see me do a cartwheel. He wanted to show me. I said, I really didn't need to see him do that,

but he did it anyway. Hey, do you want to see me do a cartwheel? No, no, you do. You really do. And then why I said at the top, maybe I should date some of these people. On the second date, the guy I was seeing quoted the entirety of the Bee movie.

He was 24. That was our last date. That is completely sackable. That's me. That is you. You sound like all these people. You sound like all these people. I sound like all these people who

have been dumped for these alleged red flags. Jeez, there's a lid for every pot, hey? There really is. I can see you trying to do a

cartwheel on a date. I can do a really good cartwheel. Hey, let's play Album Box. Oh, let's. Let's do it. Don't ghost us.

Don't ghost us. Yeah, we've been ghosted today. Yeah, we've got ghosted. We've got trust issues now. We do. We have real commitment issues now. Oh, we've been ghosted today. Yeah, we've got ghosted. We've got trust issues now. We do. We have real commitment issues now.

Oh, God. It's going to be hard to get back on the scene. It really is. I don't know if I can put my heart back on a platter. Do I ever tell you about the girl who I dated? This was going back. This was high school. She asked me out, right?

Okay. She was taller than me by a head, maybe more. Yep. She asked me out. I'm not making any jokes. No, no. We went on a date. We publicly went on a date.

She broke up with me after that date because I was too short. I was like, well, I mean. You'd seen me in real life. You knew where you were getting yourself into. Obviously, my personality was fantastic. Had you tried to get something off a high shelf and she thought, oh, no, I can't get over this now. I'm just jumping up.

I can't. Can you show me? She didn't think it would be an issue. Can I get on your shoulders? She thought, I can look past it until she actually saw it in the real world. Oh, she wanted to get on your shoulders at a concert and she still couldn't see anything. It's because it was Christmas time and Santa's little elves were running around the shop and people were coming up to me.

You happened to be wearing green and red that day. It was just a real bad connection. Santa came up to me and was like, what are you doing? Get back in line. Go hand out these candy canes. She's like, I can't do it. I'm sorry.

I am high test. Jess and Taco in the morning.