Jess & Ducko - Hit Breakfast - THROWBACK | When are you going to die?

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

In this best of show: We use an app to predict when we're going to die, we ask what made you vomit and Jess reveals she has photos from inside the birthing suite during her labour!Subscribe on LiSTNR: https://play.listnr.com/podcast/nick-jess-and-duckoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There's a new thing that's created called Death Clock and essentially it's an app. You fill it out. Brent Franson created this app and basically it's to encourage healthier lifestyle and healthier choices. When you put it in our group chat last night, Ducko, I initially was like, no.

You said, everyone download the Death Clock. Yeah, it'll tell you when you're going to die. It'll tell you when you're going to die. And I swing between wanting to know and not wanting to know. You, I would have thought, always would want to know because you hate surprises. I hate surprises and I hate spoilers, but I also don't like to change my habits. So there's this issue of, oh, the way you're currently going, you've only got 15 years left under your belt. How much past are you having?

How sedentary is your lifestyle? So yeah, I swing between, but you said it's for the good of the show. It's for the good of the show. And good for the rice cookers as well, I would say. We all downloaded this app. Now, you do need to put a fair bit of information into this app, you know, in terms of – So if you're scared of AI scamming you.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. And it does ask for money, but I just did the seven-day free trial then got off it and got rid of it and didn't subscribe. Yep. But it puts in all lifestyle factors, everything from how much alcohol you have, how much exercise, how much you're sitting down, family history. A lot of mental health and stress questions. Yep, a lot of that.

And basically, so it's not obviously going to be 100% accurate. I had to do a lot of I don't knows because it wanted to know my blood pressure and cholesterol. I went, I don't know that. Yeah, I didn't. There's a few of those things. I can't imagine mine's good with how much butter I consume. You should have put in bad. I don't have that. Yeah, I didn't. There's a few of those things. And I can't imagine mine's good with how much butter I consume. You should have put in bad. I don't have an accurate reading.

Anyway, I thought we could all go through and see, because it spits out a number and it gives you your biological age to what it thinks your biological age is currently, and then also spits out what your age is that you're going to die. Yes. And so I thought we could all go around and see who's going to die first. What a Friday. But it's a lesson.

It's a lesson in health. And you can curb these. Because what I actually thought was very interesting, Ducco, I'm happy to go first. It said Jess's most likely ways to die. And wasn't that a wake-up call? Did you get that screen as well? I did get that, yeah.

So my number one way to die, which is, I think, the number one cause of death in this country, cardiovascular disease. And that does link with my butter consumption and my sedentary lifestyle. See, mine was cancer. Really? Yeah. But I think that's because I had family history of cancer. And I haven't had any of the screening.

So it was like, well, my cardio was fine. One of the questions was, are you keeping up to date with recommended health checks? Did you say no? Yeah, I think so. But at 33, I'm not sure what actually is recommended for you. But mine. Yes, your age. Okay, so this is your age.

It spat out. So that I'm going to die. Do you have your biological age in there? No, I didn't get that. Oh, you didn't get that? Okay. Sorry, I don't know what I did wrong. I'll tell you how much.

I'm going to die. Yes. God, it feels weird to say that, doesn't it? Now, once again, this isn't accurate, but. October 14th. Oh, I'll give you a date. Monty, give me a date. Don't get the wrong freaking answer.

I've got a date and I've got a countdown. I've got a little timer. Yeah, me too. Oh, maybe I see. Okay. Death clock. Did you get? Anyway.

I've got the age. I've got, I'm going to die Thursday. Oh, good. October 14th, 2088. I've set the age. I've got, I'm going to die Thursday, October 14th, 2088. I've set a calendar. I've got 64 years left. I've only got 3,300 weekends left. So what age will you be when you die?

97. Oh, you eclipsed me. What? There is no way I'm going to die. Mine's 95. Oh. What? What was no way I'm... Mine's 95. Oh. What was your shy guy? 79. Oh, sorry, I shouldn't laugh. That's not funny. Hang on.

Babs, what are you? 92. Oh. Why am I so low? Well, mate, I mean... What are you? What did I tell it? Did you know your cholesterol? Did you just tell it the truth? I might have accidentally tapped a couple things. What did it say your cause of death most likely will be? Same as yours, cardiovascular. What was

your cause of death? Also cardiovascular. Okay, so you've got heart problems. I'm good at that, but I'm going to have cancer. Maybe it's really taken your family history into account, which is a big factor. Absolutely. But hey, if I spend $50 a year, I'll live to 95. That's how it gets you. Mindset, I'll live to 100 if I spend it.

Maybe I should. Yes. My biological age is 27, though. That's how it gets you. Mine said I'll live to 100 if I spend it. Maybe I should. Yes. My biological age is 27, though. Oh, hot damn. Yeah. I don't have that. That's very amazing for someone who is 33 in real age, but biological. But then cancer's going to take you down. I can't predict this.

How can it predict this? Well, it gives you the day and the date, though. Yeah, Friday, June 1st for me. 2074. You're going to go on a Friday. It's such an exciting day to go. I've only got 767 full moons left. Make the most of them while you can.

I best make the most of them. But seeing it in black and white, it's very confronting, isn't it? Did it actually do anything to you? Did it make you go, you know what, I want to be better? Well, it did make me go, I'm going to add in some more training sessions. There you go. But when Lucia goes to school, and that's probably going to be, what, five, six years? You've already knocked off a few years.

Jess and Daco. What made you bomb? What made you bomb? Now, this is a pregnant-related story, but yours doesn't have to be, I suppose. But, however, if you did have those sort of feelings when you were pregnant and something made you bomb, by all means, call in. Yeah, man. I hurled the other day from a pasta bake.

Yeah. Finished it. Yeah. Then you went back after and ate it like a Labrador. Yeah, like a Labrador eating its own vomit. I did go and do pee on a stick, but I was clear. You were fine. Because I was like, what the hell? How could a pasta bake betray me like that?

There's got to be something more going on. There wasn't. But yes, obviously Morgan is pregnant. Now you know my dog, Pam. She's the real child in our lives right now. She is. She gets a very... She's your firstborn.

Oh, yeah. Like, I know people make jokes about, oh, the dog's the firstborn. No, she is. Your dog. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, little princess. She gets a very lean, organic diet. You've been on the raw food train from day dog?

Yeah. Has Pam ever had dog food? No. No, she's always... If she does, it's like junk food to her. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She'll go nuts for it.

It's a Friday night takeaway only. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She'll go nuts for it. And then her poo. Goodness me. It's like Babs with a bellyache. It's exactly like that.

Loves it going in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then pays the consequences. Going out. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. But no. But no.

Morgan. So for Pam's breakfast, we make her, we give her banana in her oats with her shake. Can you run me through her breakfast? It is oats, it is Greek yogurt, banana, some raspberries, some desecrated coconut, and some olive oil for her coat. Oh my. We've actually just moved it to sunflower oil. Apparently it's better for her. That's what she gets every day.

Every day. People would be, there would be dogs listening, going, looking at their parents, their owners, That's what she gets every day. Every day. We eat the same breakfast. There would be dogs listening, looking at their parents, their owners, thinking, you say you love me, but the dog down the road gets that for breakfast? I know, I know. But now her coat's so shiny and she doesn't smell. And she's an inside dog and she sleeps on the bed under the doona. So it's as much helping yourselves as it is helping Pam.

But one thing that was triggering Morgan a lot, particularly first trimester while she was pregnant, is bananas. And it is funny, the first trimester is where everything, I think, is the most heightened. Everything's heightened, yeah. Does Morgan usually like bananas? Loves bananas, yes. We're a banana household. But she every time, because we chop Pam's bananas up, and that's where we put her anti-anxiety meds, it's in the banana, so she can't, because we chop Pam's bananas, and that's where we put her anti-anxiety meds, it's in the banana, so she can't. Because she's so good at tasting the meds now, she'll find them and spit them out. Okay, so you've got to bury them deep.

In the banana. It's such a strong flavor that she loves, Pam loves banana. It is a flavor bully banana. It is. Yeah, yeah. So Morgan first noticed it, and then she all of a sudden gagging, couldn't do it, and then messaging me. And she's manhandling the banana.

Yeah. Messaging me every day being like, the banana's too much. So it got to the point where, God forbid we stop giving the dog banana. I would pre-chop the bananas the night before, put them in a Tupperware container. And I'm like, all you need to do is just fold it and put it in. Like I was putting Pam's pills in. We were pre-loading everything. Even opening the Tupperware and putting a banana in.

Yes, because a banana, my daughter unfortunately really likes banana, but can't eat so much of it. So half of it ends up in a Tupperware. Opening that lid, it's like trapping a fart in a jar. Open that lid like a punch. You do that a bit too, don't you? You've got plenty of those jars. Yeah, that's funny.

The banana punch to the face of smell that's been trapped for a couple of hours or whatever. It's pungent. Pungent. So instead of your wife just going, you're not having banana anymore, she pushed through. I was like, let's just not give Pam banana. No, God forbid we do that. I was like, thank God she said that because she needs her bananas. So then she opened the Tupperware.

It made her go to the toilet, physically vomit for her first time, actually vomiting a lot. And she persisted with the banana. She's fine with it now because we're like 16 weeks or whatever. Yeah, second trimester, things calm down. But you're telling me she just did that every day? Every morning. She'd wake up and then she'd feel so sick because she was giving the dog the banana and the banana was setting her off. I've told you

bananas are the enemy. Bananas suck. I cannot believe her commitment to this four-legged pooch. I know. I couldn't believe it either. Wow. That's a good dog mum. That's a very good dog mum. But 13, 10, 16, what made you vom? Especially when you were pregnant, what set you off? We know it's sensitivity.

I remember my mum talking about being pregnant, just the smell of cooking meat. My dad couldn't have a barbecue for that whole nine months while she was pregnant with me. She goes, the smell of chops, a steak. Anything. God forbid you put a rissole on that barbecue, it would set her off. Just the smell. And could she eat meat, though, afterwards? That's the funny thing, because the smell turned her off.

It was like, get it away from me, in all regard. But she's a big meat eater. Yeah. But it's funny what that smell will do. But, like, weeks later, Morgan's gone back and eaten banana, and she's been okay. What a resilient lady. I think she...

Did she have it in ice cream one time to just dabble back into it? Oh, okay. Possibly. Yeah, just to dip her toe back in. Funnily enough, the ice cream never made her crook. It was just the banana. Just the banana. You know. So, 13, 10, 60. What made Funnily enough, the ice cream ever made her crook. It was just the banana. Just the banana. You know.

So 13, 10, 60. What made you vom? What made you vom? What set you off? What set you off? Jess and Ducko. 13, 10, 60. We're asking, what made you vom?

What set you off? What set you off? Maybe it was something as simple, as innocuous as a nanny. The poor banana. Morgan obviously pregnant. This was in her first trimester, though, some weeks ago. And we give banana to our dog Pam in her breakfast. Every morning.

Every day. To hide her anti-anxiety meds. Or these ones to stop her licking. Nah, they're dinner. The licking ones are dinner tablets. What do they get wrapped in? A bit of cheese? No, we've actually, they're flavoured beef.

So she likes those on her own as a treat. Why do they do that for all dog pets? I don't know. That's so smart. Because the anxiety meds she's on are human meds. We've had a friend come over and go, I'm on those. Well, you and Pam can share. Do you want me to shove it in a banana for you too?

Would that make it go down easier? Sit. Shake. Shake. Yeah. Anyway, it was the banana in Pam's breakfast that made Morgan really sick. Every morning, first thing, she'd wake up before she had to go to work. She'd bomb or gag from the banana, but persisted with it for the dog.

What a terrible way to start your day. Horrible. Then I was chopping it up. Manhandling banana firstly. Yeah. And then just chucking for your dog. I know. Who can't say thank you.

No. You know. Doesn't care. It's a thankless job. Yeah. But those days where she couldn't give Pam banana because she was so sick, I could tell. Yeah. So it was off about Pam.

Yeah. She was unhappy. Yeah. Taylor has called through. Taylor, this happened when you were pregnant also, like Morgan? Yes. First ducko. You're going to be an amazing dad.

Thank you, Taylor. Thank you, Taylor. I know. If that's how they are with the dog, can you imagine their own flesh and blood, Taylor? I feel like Pam's going to get priority. But with my first pregnancy, I couldn't do chicken at all. Smell, texture, couldn't do it at all.

Second pregnancy, my beautiful daughter will be one in two weeks. I couldn't do dinner at all, no matter what it was. What do you mean? Just like eating after 6 p.m. or something just set you off? Well, I had HG with both of my beautiful darling babies. So shout out to HG mamas. But anything. I would cook and I just couldn't eat.

That was it. I was sick. Had one mouthful and I was sick every dinner the entire pregnancy. Morgan had a fair bit of toast for dinners. Yeah. Very dry, very bland. Didn't want much. Yeah, didn't want anything. That's horrible. Oh, Taylor. Thank you, Taylor. The things we do. Yep. The things we do. Brooklyn, good morning. Morning. Brooklyn, how old are you? I'm nine. Nine. All right. What was the last thing that set you off? When I was cleaning the fruit bin at school, it had rotten banana in it. Oh, no.

And I can't really be around bananas because I absolutely hate them. Yes. You and Jess. So you already hated banana, Brooklyn, but then you had to clean out some moldy, stinky, gross ones, and that was enough for you. Yeah, and it was like after three days because we don't really clean it out that often. Oh, no.

So Brooklyn's got the brunt end. Gross old banana. Oh, yeah. Because it goes black and stuff like that. That's one thing I'm not looking forward to. I've heard school bags, you know, or like on a Friday or whatever. You don't clear out the lunchbox. Monday comes along, you go, oh, my God, something's growing in this now.

Absolutely. We've got a Tiffany on 131060. So when you were pregnant, Tiffany. Well, I was pregnant towards the end of the soccer season, so I was eating bacon egg rolls all the time every morning of the study. Yes. It was one morning, we were at Toronto, and it was like 6 o'clock in the morning, and he was like, no, you need to eat.

You've got to eat breakfast. You're pregnant. I'm like, whatever. Whatever. Get to baking. I grow up. I look at it. I started vomiting. Just from the look of it.

Didn't even put it to your lips. The look of it. The look of it. Oh, it turned me off. Now I'm still too picky to eat them in the morning. Oh, I was going to say. It's tainted forever. That's annoying.

It's like you were testing that taint. Yeah, to take your date out. No, my kid's eight now, so it's like, oh. Oh, God. It to say. Tainted forever. Oh, that's annoying. It's like you were testing that tape. Yeah, to take your date out. No, you can date now. So it's like, oh. Oh, God, it's been eight years and she's still traumatised. Debbie on 131060, your husband gets sick over something. Yeah, how you going, guys? Congratulations, guys.

So good, Deb. Thank you, Deb. Yeah, every time I eat a cheeseburger or barbecue chips, my husband would get sick. No matter where he was, like if he was in Western Australia, like he's a truck driver, he'd be sick. Barbecue chips? Yeah, or a cheeseburger. Or a cheeseburger.

Interesting. They're very random. It doesn't matter where the cheeseburger's from? No. That's bizarre. Oh, no. What a life's great choice. I know.

And it was always like, because he'd been pregnant the first time, yeah, he'll get me whatever I want. So I just ate it. Oh, okay. Deb's like, that's not my problem. That's a you issue. Mummy and the baby want barbecue chips. Thank you.

And let's wrap up with Carla. Good morning, Carla. Good morning. How are you? Yes, so good. Like Morgan, something was setting you off when you were pregnant. Yeah, my new car. Oh, what do you mean?

The new car smell. Yeah, the new car smell. I used to have to hold my breath, start new car. Oh, what do you mean the new car? Yeah, the new car smell. I used to have to hold my breath, start the car and wait a few minutes and put all the windows down before I could get in it. Oh, and you probably upgraded the car thinking, all right, baby's on its way, we'll upgrade, we'll get something new and safe and fancy. How do you go with new car smell now?

I'm okay. I sort of like the smell of it, but it doesn't go to that extent. But yeah, it lasted a good six weeks. It was horrible. You know what will mask a new car smell? The smell of vomit. Yeah, that's true. Just chuck up in there.

Just chuck up in the cup holder. Then you've got vomit smell. You should really mask that. Jess and Jocko. It has been tough times in my household for the last couple of months. Okay. Now, my wife Morgan is good at a lot of things. She's actually, Morgan's a good cook and she'll try new things and she's good at it.

She's actually sent me a few recipes that were, I'm like, good, fine. Yeah. She's a good cook. Beautiful human. Oh, God. She. You usually do this stuff in the depths of 6am. Well, she was going to work earlier, so she's at work now.

Oh, God. Yeah, obviously. This is not your first rodeo. No, no. Goodness, I know. Don, she was going to work earlier, so she's at work now. Oh, boy. Obviously. This is not your first rodeo. No, no. Goodness, I know. Don't tell her as well if you're listening and you work with her. I know who you are.

You always do this to me. Stop it. She sucks at baking. She'll admit that, too. She's not a good baker. She can cook, but she can't bake. It's funny. They are very different.

They are. Because baking is so precise. Now, I will say, I, too, suck at baking, but I don't try. Like, as in, like, I know I'm bad. You know your strengths and weaknesses. I know I'm bad. I don't leave it there. And at 33 years old, you're happy to go, you know what? I've found my skills.

I do good mashed potato. That's me. All right? That's my, and I will clean the hell out of that mess. Hell yeah. But the thing is, Morgan, she'll keep trying to bake. Like, she'll make Anzac biscuits, and they're just a bit off, and the shapes are all a bit weird.

Very un-Australian. All that stuff up an Anzac. I know. Or she'll make brownie, and they just, it doesn't work. Like, things won't inflate in the oven when she bakes them. Like, they look a bit deformed and flat. And now that we're all learning our recipes from social media, you can see what it's meant to look like.

Not just, like, the picture in the cookbook anymore. Exactly. So she's going, this doesn't look like the video. And she knows she's bad at it, but she wants to get better at it. So she keeps trying to make things. And she's trying to make like, you know, some healthier stuff. You add a bit of protein powder, banana muffins. The other day it was like this blueberry muffin thing,

which looked really nice. And for the first time in her baking career, they actually like inflated like proper muffins. But they were so dry. It was like eating cardboard. And she's like- Trying to do health dessert or treat, just leave it to actual pastry chefs. The problem is though, she's like, these are actually really good.

They're my best effort. And she was so proud of them. And she gives them to me and I'll eat it. And it's dry as all hell. I'm like, this is good. And I'm just like, I'm going to have to just pretend here. I'm like, this is really good. And then she starts being like, every day she notices I'm not having one.

She's like, I'll get you one. I'll make you one. Oh, because when you make this sort of stuff, it's like minimum 12. Oh, yeah. There's like 15 of it in the Tupperware box. Such a big bag. Yeah. And there's only two of it.

And she goes, and she said one of the great lines, they taste really good heated up with butter. I'm like, so do most things, honey. So do most things. That doesn't mean it's good on its own plane. I can't save it. No, you can't save it. How far are you from going, oh, honey, I don't want them to go bad. Why don't you take them into work?

I was giving them so much to Pam because I was hating them. I was feeding them to a dog. And then last night, Morgan's like, you can have one of those because I said I want a snack. I'm snacky. And she's like, have one of those. I'll go, oh. Have one of me blueberry muffins. She goes, you don't like it, do you? I go, oh, they're okay. She's like, what?

They were my best attempt. They're a bit dry. Oh, in sickness and in health. I know. For richer or poorer. They're a bit dry. In good baking and bad baking. You've got to stand by your lady.

I know. And I used to tell her straight up. But now that she's really trying, I've started lying to her and pretending they're good. And she thinks they're good. Yeah. You know? Yeah, she thinks. But I know she knows they're not.

Oh, why don't you bring them into here? I mean, I won't eat them, but we'll leave them for everyone. I'll bring you one. You ask and try it. Enjoy cardboard. Jess and Ducko. Right now, Ducko, I told you a few weeks ago how there are some moments in my parenting journey where I go, how am I in charge of a person?

I am not smart enough, grown up enough. I don't have my crap to get. My ducks are not in a row enough. You're not qualified enough for this. I am not qualified. I think you should have to do a test before you're allowed to procreate. We do a test to get our license, but we don't do a test to be able to raise a child or bring a child in.

To bring humans. And I know there's that running sort of joke about how after maybe, what, four or five days in the hospital, they go, see ya. Good luck. Good luck. And then you're doing it. Yeah. There's been so many instances throughout this parenting journey where I go,

thank God I chose the life partner I did because without him, we would be struggling real hard. And it was real real evident yesterday. I got a phone call. So I am meant to, well, I was meant to do something that's now going to impact my daughter. We want to put her in daycare next year. Just one day a week. We think it'd be great for her development.

It'd be great for us. It just ticks a lot of boxes. And we found an unbelievable facility. It's family daycare, so it's very small. They're competitive to get into, aren't they? From what I've heard. Absolutely they are. Because there are some bigger facilities where maybe I think there's like 15 kids or 20 kids.

We have found one family daycare, so it's very, very small. There's only one educator, so she only has a small number of kids per day. We magically found a spot on the day we wanted. Oh, my God. This was a few months ago. We went for the tour. Yeah, we want it, we want it, we want it. Maybe four months ago.

All I had to do, Ducko, to secure the position was fill out an online form. That's all I had to do. And we've just established how competitive these things are, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long did you have to fill this form out? I don't remember at the time what she said the cutoff was, but it was months ago. And she's meant to start in the new year,

which, as we know, rapidly approaching 2025. I get a call yesterday saying, hey, can we give Lucia a spot up because you haven't returned that form? And I went into absolute panic stations. They need it in the next like 48 hours or something. You need her birth certificate. I needed immunization. I've frantically gone on all these forms.

I don't know where her immunization records live. I don't know where her birth certificate is. You want to see downstairs? I've got proof she freaking came out of me. I know she was born and when she was born, but I don't have that. You want to see what's left? You want to see the damage? You want to see?

I'll send you that. I had the midwife taking photos. I've got proof that she came out of me. Did you actually? Did you ask the midwife to take photos? Yeah. Of your hoo-ha? Yeah.

Just because it was so. She got up in there. With your phone or with her? So you've got photos on your phone of post-Labour. Not post. No, during. During, babe. Oh!

Oh, I thought you wanted to see the aftermath. You got... During. Has Angus seen them? I tried to get... Does Angus watch? Did he go below there? He was down south at the moment of catchment because he

was up with me. I think I was dislocating his thumb at that point. Oh no, but then I had the epidural, so things had calmed down. And he was down south at the moment of the obstetrician and said, alright, she's coming. Come down here Angus and catch. The midwife was there, snapping

away. And she's there like... Yeah. I actually tried to hire a photographer. Shut up. But she had a wedding. Shut up. No, you didn't. She was busy. Because you thought it would be beautiful.

Have I never told you that? No, you've never told me this. Do you remember Cara, who did our paternity shoot? Yeah, I do. Yeah. She's seen a lot of us. She has. And I thought, what's a bit more?

So did you want this because you thought it'd be funny or you wanted it because you thought it'd be beautiful? I didn't know which way it would go, but I thought. Because I remember that rice cooker who went to our lunch who sent me... Oh, the crowning. Who was interested in shaga. That's right. Who sent me the crowning photos.

That's right. That was just a diagram, and that was whack. Yeah. Were they drawings, or was it... It was like sculptures. It was like papamash. It was. Yeah, no, I've got...

I can show you every stage of it if you really... Oh, my God. So I asked Cara... Do you ever just go back and look at that on a rainy night? Because you know when your phone, your camera roll does that? Memories. Memories from this time last year. Holy.

And it makes a little slide show. It makes us to music. What music does it put down? It was like sort of just sort of nice jazz or whatever. Just tranquil music. Tranquil music. Yeah, yeah. Memories.

Yeah, kind of. There's Jess's. So, yeah. Yeah. So because we had an induction, I knew what day. So, I messaged Cara saying, babe, how do you feel about delivery room photos? Because we were her first maternity shoot. I went, well, you're expanding your portfolio.

Because surely she's never done delivery photos. She'd never done delivery. No one does that. She went, I would be on it. I said, all right, it's going to be Thursday, October 26th. She goes, you know what she says to me? She goes, crap, I've got a wedding book that day. Can you push it? I was like, nah, sis. I goes, you know what she says to me? She goes, crap, I've got a wedding book that day. Can you push it?

I was like, nah, sis. I'm sorry. You could have just got me there with the iPhone. I could have. Oh, Jess, open up. The midwife took some landscape. Oh, my God. No one wants landscape photos.

I don't think, has a midwife ever been asked to take photos of that? I mean, 13, 10, 60, if you've ever been asked to take photos of that. I'm shocked how common it is. Surely no one's done that. Nah, nah, very common. ever been asked to take photos of that. I reckon you're going to be shocked how common it is. Surely no one's done that. Nah, nah. Very common. She knew what's up. This was not her first rodeo.

Really? She wasn't shocked when I asked. But the angles she was getting up from height, and then as soon as she came out, she got that moment. Oh, nah, it's too late to talk about this. 13, 10, 60, if you did this photo, because I am perplexed. Oh, do you want to hear from people giving birth? Yeah, people giving birth.

And maybe midwives? Yeah, if anyone has done this or does this. I think it is part and parcel. Remember that influencer a few years ago Snapchatted her freaking birth? Yeah. But that was kind of stunt. We're giving away double passes to Morgan's birth. Well, that's exactly right.

That's a listener thing, you know? See, cesarean. Use Darko10 for all pregnancy discounts. Yeah. I wonder, yeah, there's so many ways you can do it. Wow, that's blowing my mind. Yeah, babe.. Yeah. There's so many ways you can do it. Wow, that's blown my mind. Yeah, babe.

Do you go back and actually actively look at it and like it? Do I? I don't. I haven't gone being like, oh, I want to go look at those photos. But sometimes I scroll through my camera roll. Does Angus look at them? Has he? Yeah, we've looked at them together. Because he saw it live too.

So now it's interesting to see from different angles. It's so bad. And the heat of the moment. I want to see it, but I don't want to see it. I've seen some girlfriends. They've shown me theirs before I gave birth, and it was a real like. Eye opener. It was an eye opener.

The phone lines are blowing up. Danielle, who we work with, also has photos. Yeah, did she? Yes. We've got Emma on 1310. Emma, did you do this? I did, but inadvertently. What do you mean?

I had my second baby via cesarean yep and um the midwife said to me at the time she's like do you want me to take some photos and i was like oh yeah that'd be great and also she offered yeah yeah she was all for it yeah and i thought it was like just photos at the end, you know, like, oh, like nice cuddle, blah, blah, blah. And then I got my photos back, the whole reel. And I was like, oh, my God. It was like literally my baby coming out of my stomach, like my stomach cut open, like the head literally pushing out of my stomach, like blood everywhere. It was hectic. And, yeah, I was shocked.

Do you like that you have that memory now? Or is that something you could have gone your life without? Yeah, I do. I do, but I put them in my hidden photo rare just in case my oldest child sees them. When someone gets the phone and is just swiping away, it's like, holy! Isn't it funny? I just thought of an idea that I thought we could swap phones

and go through each other's. I just realised I've got photos like that in my camera roll. So maybe. Jamie Lee, did you do this or you took the photos? I took the photos. So you're the midwife? Well, yes. Okay.

No, no, no, I'm not a midwife, sorry. But I took the photos of my nephews being born. Oh, so you were doing it for your sister? Yeah, I was doing it for both my sisters, yeah. Okay. And was that cesarean or vaginal? No, that was vaginal birth. Okay, so did you get all up or vagina? No, that was vagina work. Okay.

So did you get all up in there? I'm coming out like Superman. Was the partner in there? Was there a partner in there? Or were you the partner? No, I was the partner. Okay. Okay.

Copy. I see. Because I was going to say, what are husbands doing there? Surely husbands can... Yeah. No, sitting in the corner over at the window. Trying not to pass out. Wow.

I can't. But I've also had midwives take photos for me too. And what was it like taking the photos? Like, were you really focused on the actual, like, landscape and getting the good shot? Were you trying to focus? No, I was just snap happy and just trying to get everything, I suppose. I've taken about 400. Yeah.

Wow. It's pretty crazy. This has blown my mind. Sorry if I sound ignorant. I just had no idea. Because again, why would you know until you know? Well, yeah. I follow an influencer who'd had a professional photographer. She gave birth maybe a few months before me.

So that's what put it in my head. And then I started seeing it everywhere. Hey man, some of the girls I follow on Instagram have shared it all on socials. Really? Yep. You just put a little warning on Instagram have shared it all on socials. Really? Yep. You just put a little warning so Instagram doesn't take down all of them. So it's the first one's blurred. You have to choose if you would like to see it.

It's like sensitive content. But yeah, it's an option. Wow. So the point of my thing was. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah. You're bad at adulting. I'm bad at adulting.

As in, I don't know where her real birth certificate is, but I had that to prove, but you can't submit that on the enrollment form for daycare. Jess and Ducco. We were just discussing before how, Jess, you're not an adult enough to look after a child, so you think. That's right. I needed to submit my daughter's birth certificate to secure her place in daycare, and I don't know where that crap is.

I'm so bad at adulting. Yeah. I shouldn't be in charge of stuff. Yes. And I just made the throwaway comment, I don't have the birth certificate, but hey, I've got photos of her coming out of me. Can I submit those? And I said, well, hold up.

What? I was perplexed, and I thought only Jess does this. And that look, fair from you, but this is not something I invented. I wanted to get a real photographer, but I think more often than not, people are snapping pics. Emma is a midwife and she offers people. Yeah. Well, we then had a full board of calls, people saying they've done it or have done it. Yeah.

Morgan is a nurse. She sometimes works in theatres for like C-sections and stuff like that. Yes. We just called her in the song. While Savvy Cat was playing. While Savvy Cat. Because you're not allowed to call, you know, we're not on a gotcha moment. Well, and here's that one down.

Hey. Sorry, I was just ordering a coffee. Oh, that's all right. Ordering a coffee? We got the new coffee machine. We're making that at home, yeah? I know. I'm just trying to order.

Oh, sorry. You're with people. Okay. Hey, question. Do you want, in the birth, like when we do, like in labour, do you want someone to take photos of the baby coming out? I don't know. I haven't thought about it. Jess has a full album of the midwife taking photos of her hoo-ha

and the baby coming out of it. I don't know if I'd want it if it was vaginal, album of the midwife taking photos of her hoo-ha and the baby coming out of it. I don't know if I'd want it if it was vaginal, but maybe the Caesar would be all right. Do you want me to take the photos or are we just going to get, I can get someone in there. We can get a photographer. You would not want to meet, you would not want to take the photos. Yeah, no, you're right. I'll be, I'll be flat strapped being in the room.

Do you want to get a, do you want to get a, yeah, I'm going to cut the umbilical cord. You don't get a photographer. You can just get the scout nurse to take a photo. So this is normal. Have you taken photos of people's vaginas and done this before? Not of people's vaginas. I'm in theatres. It's their stomach.

Okay. But you've taken photos? Yeah, I've taken photos of babies coming out of tummies. Okay. There you go. Just on the old iPhone. Yeah, on the old iPhone. It's good camera quality. All right.

Well, I'm just learning. What are you saying? What are you asking us for? No, no reasons. No reasons. Oh, dear. Okay. Anyway, if we get a professional photographer in there.

No, I don't want that. Well, I mean, wheels are in motion. That can't be undone. What? What? No. It's sponsored now, Morgan. I've got three Instagram posts to do and a credit on air.

I thought you'd like it. I thought you'd like it. You're joking. No, I'm not. I thought you'd like it. No, you'm not. I thought you'd like it. No, you aren't. Hey, man, I thought she would be very anti having any sort of recording. Yeah, me too.

She's into it. She's open to it. She's very open to it. But we draw the line at SpawnCon. Yeah, SpawnCon. No SpawnCons coming. Just a photographer. So to all the photographers who are furiously trying to DM Ducko, pump the brakes. We could get it out there. You know who's

pretty good on my iPhone? Who's that? I have taught him framing and now every photo he takes, bang on. Imagine if in the way I look over there's my wife and me crying holding our daughter and there's Sharko like, it's fine. I've got a few photos. Ducko

just turn to the left a bit. The light's catching you weird. It's okay. I don't know what I'm looking at here. Hang on. How much blood do you want in it? Yeah? Okay, good.

Everyone's crying having an emotional moment. Shy Guy's just dead inside. Don't overthink it, guys. Just look at each other and your new daughter. It's quite the responsibility. You want to come in? I'll ask Morgan. Oh, I think I can answer for Morgan.

You never know. Hey, I'm excited. So now we're going to have stadium seats and a photography team in the delivery room of Morgan. What a good sport she is. I've learned something today. There you go. I didn't realize how common that was. Is it weird to offer you?

You want to see? It's weird. Okay, I won't. Don't do that. But like I do want to see. I know. It's so bad. It's weird. Okay, I won't. Don't do that. But like I do want to see. I know. It's so bad. It's like a train crash.

Maybe show Babs and then we'll get Babs' reaction. Oh, yeah. She's going to want to see. She already hates me. I don't hate you, but I don't really want to see your vagina. We're done here, team. We're done here. We're out of here.

Why not? You again, forcing it on us. It's the miracle. You're forcing it down her throat. It's the miracle of childbirth. Yeah, I know who it is. It's the most natural thing in the world. It is.

It is. Sorry, you're the only one I haven't offered. Would you like to do this? I'm good. No, come on, Shaga, for the team. No, it's in the war that Carly said there is. Yeah, Carly said that was bad enough. Yeah.

I thought you said war, and I was like, that's one way to describe it. Oh, what a riot. Hey, we're out of here. We're back tomorrow. It's Thursday tomorrow. There's more Alpha Bucks chances up for grabs. Ducko underscore underscore underscore. Do you want to slide in?

Hey, do you want to see other people? I do. No. No, no, no. I don't want to see any. Don't send me anything. We're done. Goodbye.

Goodbye. See ya. Jess and Ducko in the morning.